Daddy, are you supporting Hindus?

One of the most amusing, hilarious and eye-opening posts I have come across…

NAKED LUNCH: Blow Daddy

By Nadeem F. Paracha

Daddy?
Yes, son.
Are we going to have a war with India?
Perhaps.
Oh, goody. We will thrash them, right? Like we did in 1857!
It wasn’t in 1857, son.
Oh, okay. But whom did we thrash in 1857?
The British, son…
And the Hindus too, right?
Well…
Did Quaid-i-Azam fight in that war along with Muhammad bin Qasim and Imran Khan?
No, son. The Quaid and Imran were born much later and Muhammad bin Qasim died many years before.
Then who ruled Pakistan in those days?
There was no Pakistan in those days, son.
But there was always a Pakistan! It has been there for 5,000 years!
Who have you been talking to, son?
No one. I’ve just been watching TV.
It figures.
Daddy, why are all these people against us Arabs?
Arabs? But we aren’t Arabs, son.
Of course we are because our ancestors were Arabs!
No, son. Our ancestors were of the subcontinental stock.
Sub-what?
Never mind.You seem to like wars, son.
Yes. I like to watch them on TV.
But real wars are fought outside the TV, son.
Really? How is that possible? What sort of a war is that?
Never mind.
Daddy, you look worried.
Of course, I am, you little warmongering punk!
Daddy! Why are you scolding me?
Because TV is talking rot and so are you!
Daddy, are you supporting Hindus?
No!
Daddy, have you become a kafir?
Keep quiet! No more TV for you! Go watch a movie on DVD or listen to a CD.
Can’t do that.
But we have so many DVDs and CDs, son.
Not any more.
What do you mean?
I burned them all.

What?!
I burned them all.
I heard that! But why?
They spread obscenity.
Oh, God. Son, go do your homework. What happened to that science project you were working on?
It’s almost complete.
Good boy. What are you making?
A bomb.
What?!
A bomb.
I heard that! But why?
Because I am a true Muslim who hates America.
But only last week you wanted to go to Disney Land.
That’s different.
How come?
Mickey Mouse is Muslim.
No, he isn’t.
Is so. He converted when he heard azaan on the moon.
On the moon?
Yes. Because the earth is flat and…
What??
The earth is…

I heard that!
Daddy, do you want to see my science project, or not?
Gosh, that bomb? But your science teacher will fail you.
No, she wont.
Really?
Yes. I plan to blow her up as well.
God, what is wrong with you? Go call your mother!
She can’t come.

Why not?
I’ve locked her in the kitchen.

But what for?
A woman’s place is in the kitchen. I will not let her out until she covers herself up peoperly!
But she’s your mother!
She’s also a woman!
So?
So she should be hidden.
Hidden from whom?
The whole world and Tony.
Tony?
Yes, Tony.

But Tony’s a cat.

Yes. But he’s male.
Son, have you gone mad?

No. By the way, I’ve made sure Kitto starts covering up as well.
Kitto?

Yes, Kittto.
But Kitto’s a cat!

Yes. But a female cat.

But she’ll suffocate.

Oh, she’s already dead.
What?

She’s already dead.
I heard that! But how?

I buried her alive.
You what?

Yes. To avenge Tony’s honour. But now I will behead Tony.
But why?

To save mom’s honour!
Oh, God!

Don’t say that. Always say Allah.
What’s the difference?

Daddy, do you want to be beheaded too?
No!

Do you want to be stoned to death?
No!
Do you want to be flogged?
No!

Do you want to get your arms chopped off?
No!
Then stop asking silly questions. By the way, I won’t call you daddy anymore.
What will you call me then?
Whatever that is Arabic for daddy.
I don’t know any Arabic, son.
That’s because you are a kafir.
Who the heck are you to tell me who I am, you little fascist twit!
What’s a fascist?
An irrational, violent, self-righteous mad man!
W… aaaaaaa…
Why are you crying?
You scolded me.
Okay, I’m sorry. You have to be tolerant and rational, son. Now be a good boy and go read a book instead of watching TV.
I have no books.
Of course, you do. I bought you so many books.
I burned them.
What?
I burned them.
But why?
They were all in English.

So?
It’s a non-Muslim language!
But we are speaking English, aren’t we?
W… aaaaaaa…
What now?
Zionists made me forget my Arabic.
But you never knew any Arabic, son.
W… aaaa… yes, I did until you and mommy gave me the polio drops… aaaaa…
Okay, tell me, can you do me a favour?
Sure, dad.
Can you blow up something for me?
Oh, goody! Of course, dad. What should I blow? A CD shop, a hotel, a school…?
No, no, something a lot more sinister.
Mom?
No, no…
What then?

The TV set!
What?
Blow the TV set.
I heard that! But why?
Just do it!

I see. Dad?
Yes.
You’re so unconstitutional!

[ source: India Uncut | original post: The Dawn ]

If you aren’t happy here then, LEAVE!!!

Got this by mail. Not sure if this just another hoax. But, if it is real, then this guy has balls! I have nothing against islam or muslims. But, I do have my difference of opinion with people with extremist and fanatical views on religion. This is applicable to people of all religions irrespective of whether they are Hindu’s, Muslims, Christians or whatever.

I simply like the content of this article. I believe its fair, no-nonsense, non-diplomatic talk. Much better than the diplomatic crap I keep hearing from most of the world leaders now and then.

When he says “This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom, ‘THE RIGHT TO LEAVE’. “. I can only give a double thumbs up. This is the same attitude that expats face in the middle-east. The free world needs a leader like this – PM John Howard.

Prime Minister John Howard – Australia

Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia , as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks.

A day after a group of mainstream Muslim leaders pledged loyalty to Australia and her Queen at a special meeting with Prime Minister John Howard, he and his Ministers made it clear that extremists would face a crackdown. Treasurer Peter Costello, seen as heir apparent to Howard, hinted that some radical clerics could be asked to leave the country if they did not accept that Australia was a secular state, and its laws were made by parliament. ‘If those are not your values, if you want a country which has

Sharia law or a theocratic state, then Australia is not for you’, he said on National Television ‘I’d be saying to clerics who are teaching that there are two laws governing people in Australia : one the Australian law and another Islamic law that is false. If you can’t agree with parliamentary law, independent courts, democracy, and would prefer Sharia law and have the opportunity to go to another country, which practices it, perhaps, then, that’s a better option’, Costello said.

Asked whether he meant radical clerics would be forced to leave, he said those with dual citizenship could possibly be asked to move to the other country. Education Minister Brendan Nelson later told reporters that Muslims who did not want to accept local values should clear off. ‘Basically people who don’t want to be Australians, and who don’t want to live by Australian values and understand them, well then, they can basically clear off’, he said.

Separately, Howard angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying he supported spy agencies monitoring the nation’s mosques. Quote: ‘IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali , we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians.’

‘However, the dust from the attacks had barely settled when the ‘politically correct’ crowd began complaining about the possibility that our patriotism was offending others. I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to Australia .

However, there are a few things that those who have recently come to our country, and apparently some born here, need to understand. This idea of Australia being a multi-cultural community has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. And as Australians, we have our own culture, our own society, our own language and our own lifestyle.

This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom. We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society . Learn the language!

Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.

We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us. If the Southern Cross offends you, or you don’t like ‘A Fair Go’, then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet. We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change, and we really don’t care how you did things where you came from. By all means, keep your culture, but do not force it on others.

This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom, ‘THE RIGHT TO LEAVE’.

If you aren’t happy here then LEAVE. We didn’t force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU chose.’ Maybe if we circulate this amongst ourselves and send it to our leaders, the free world will find the backbone to start speaking and voicing the same truths.