Does the Quran really say ‘Kill Non-Muslims’?

A very level-headed guy talking absolute sense! Must watch for anyone who believe that the Muslims of the world are out to get the ‘Infidels’.

What’s happening around us has nothing to do with religion or gods. It’s all a game mastered by ingenious criminals with political intentions and second agendas.

Daddy, are you supporting Hindus?

One of the most amusing, hilarious and eye-opening posts I have come across…

NAKED LUNCH: Blow Daddy

By Nadeem F. Paracha

Daddy?
Yes, son.
Are we going to have a war with India?
Perhaps.
Oh, goody. We will thrash them, right? Like we did in 1857!
It wasn’t in 1857, son.
Oh, okay. But whom did we thrash in 1857?
The British, son…
And the Hindus too, right?
Well…
Did Quaid-i-Azam fight in that war along with Muhammad bin Qasim and Imran Khan?
No, son. The Quaid and Imran were born much later and Muhammad bin Qasim died many years before.
Then who ruled Pakistan in those days?
There was no Pakistan in those days, son.
But there was always a Pakistan! It has been there for 5,000 years!
Who have you been talking to, son?
No one. I’ve just been watching TV.
It figures.
Daddy, why are all these people against us Arabs?
Arabs? But we aren’t Arabs, son.
Of course we are because our ancestors were Arabs!
No, son. Our ancestors were of the subcontinental stock.
Sub-what?
Never mind.You seem to like wars, son.
Yes. I like to watch them on TV.
But real wars are fought outside the TV, son.
Really? How is that possible? What sort of a war is that?
Never mind.
Daddy, you look worried.
Of course, I am, you little warmongering punk!
Daddy! Why are you scolding me?
Because TV is talking rot and so are you!
Daddy, are you supporting Hindus?
No!
Daddy, have you become a kafir?
Keep quiet! No more TV for you! Go watch a movie on DVD or listen to a CD.
Can’t do that.
But we have so many DVDs and CDs, son.
Not any more.
What do you mean?
I burned them all.

What?!
I burned them all.
I heard that! But why?
They spread obscenity.
Oh, God. Son, go do your homework. What happened to that science project you were working on?
It’s almost complete.
Good boy. What are you making?
A bomb.
What?!
A bomb.
I heard that! But why?
Because I am a true Muslim who hates America.
But only last week you wanted to go to Disney Land.
That’s different.
How come?
Mickey Mouse is Muslim.
No, he isn’t.
Is so. He converted when he heard azaan on the moon.
On the moon?
Yes. Because the earth is flat and…
What??
The earth is…

I heard that!
Daddy, do you want to see my science project, or not?
Gosh, that bomb? But your science teacher will fail you.
No, she wont.
Really?
Yes. I plan to blow her up as well.
God, what is wrong with you? Go call your mother!
She can’t come.

Why not?
I’ve locked her in the kitchen.

But what for?
A woman’s place is in the kitchen. I will not let her out until she covers herself up peoperly!
But she’s your mother!
She’s also a woman!
So?
So she should be hidden.
Hidden from whom?
The whole world and Tony.
Tony?
Yes, Tony.

But Tony’s a cat.

Yes. But he’s male.
Son, have you gone mad?

No. By the way, I’ve made sure Kitto starts covering up as well.
Kitto?

Yes, Kittto.
But Kitto’s a cat!

Yes. But a female cat.

But she’ll suffocate.

Oh, she’s already dead.
What?

She’s already dead.
I heard that! But how?

I buried her alive.
You what?

Yes. To avenge Tony’s honour. But now I will behead Tony.
But why?

To save mom’s honour!
Oh, God!

Don’t say that. Always say Allah.
What’s the difference?

Daddy, do you want to be beheaded too?
No!

Do you want to be stoned to death?
No!
Do you want to be flogged?
No!

Do you want to get your arms chopped off?
No!
Then stop asking silly questions. By the way, I won’t call you daddy anymore.
What will you call me then?
Whatever that is Arabic for daddy.
I don’t know any Arabic, son.
That’s because you are a kafir.
Who the heck are you to tell me who I am, you little fascist twit!
What’s a fascist?
An irrational, violent, self-righteous mad man!
W… aaaaaaa…
Why are you crying?
You scolded me.
Okay, I’m sorry. You have to be tolerant and rational, son. Now be a good boy and go read a book instead of watching TV.
I have no books.
Of course, you do. I bought you so many books.
I burned them.
What?
I burned them.
But why?
They were all in English.

So?
It’s a non-Muslim language!
But we are speaking English, aren’t we?
W… aaaaaaa…
What now?
Zionists made me forget my Arabic.
But you never knew any Arabic, son.
W… aaaa… yes, I did until you and mommy gave me the polio drops… aaaaa…
Okay, tell me, can you do me a favour?
Sure, dad.
Can you blow up something for me?
Oh, goody! Of course, dad. What should I blow? A CD shop, a hotel, a school…?
No, no, something a lot more sinister.
Mom?
No, no…
What then?

The TV set!
What?
Blow the TV set.
I heard that! But why?
Just do it!

I see. Dad?
Yes.
You’re so unconstitutional!

[ source: India Uncut | original post: The Dawn ]

Dear Mr. Terrorist

Wow… I liked this…. In fact, I LOVED this!!!

 

Dear Mr. Terrorist,

My name is not Hades. Some of the more intelligent readers of The Times of Bullshit, no doubt, suspect that.

My name is Shoaib Daniyal. No, that won’t do. My name is ShoaibMohammed Daniyal.

You say that you killed 195 people in Mumbai to avenge the maltreatment that people like me with names like Mohammed have faced in India.

Let me tell you something about my self. I did my schooling in Calcutta in one of the city’s finest schools—La Martiniere for Boys. I completed my graduation in Electrical Engineering from the Birla Institute of Technology, Mesra and am now employed with a premier business research firm in Gurgaon.

Maltreated? How?

If there was wide spread discrimination against Muslims, as you claim, how did these institutions take me in? A cursory look at my name is all it takes, if you want to discriminate.

That’s not to say that India is perfect. To get a house in Gurgaon I had to lie about my religion. I claimed I was Christian, playing up the similarity between ‘Daniel’ and ‘Daniyal’. People would not let out their house to a person named Shoaib Mohammed Daniyal.

But for that will you kill 195 people? For that will you hold hundreds more hostage? For that will you destroy a city?

And even if you do, how will that help the India Muslim? Will people now let out their flats to me? Will future landlords now say, “Bravo! Terrorists destroyed Mumbai for you. Here are the keys to my flat. If you need anything, I’m at your beck and call.”

I don’t need retarded scum like you to make my life better.  If anything, your barbaric actions will make my life worse. Much worse.

The Indian Muslim doesn’t need people killing in his name. He needs reform. The community is one of the most backward communities in India, a large part of the blame for which it will have to shoulder itself. Partition had already crippled the community, giving the Indian Muslim the easy tag of a ‘foreigner’ in his very land of birth. Do you think the he now needs Pakistani terrorists to come in and create mayhem and anarchy in India?

People across India are angry, and justifiably so. And people who are angry often act irrationally. There are calls for tougher anti-terror laws—a demand that the Congress could stave off. Till now. Our PM has already announced that his government will tighten existing laws. By carrying out this attack you have provided just the opening fundamentalists in our country needed. Who will stop the Right Wing now? The BJP has already taken out ads in Delhi which read “Fight Terror. Vote BJP” written on a background of blood. Rediff boards ring with calls for Modi as PM. And in a perverse sort of way, I agree. This government has totally failed to protect us from you.

So thanks for your concern, but no, thanks. If you want to blow yourself up and ascend to heaven, please go and do it while destroying your own country.

JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF MINE.

Yours,

Shoaib Mohammed Daniyal

[ source: TIMES OF BULLSHIT ]

Pakistan’s take on Mumbai Terror Attacks

Ok. This is Pakistan’s side of the story.
And here’s my disclaimer:

1. I am not ANTI-INDIA
2. I am not ANTI-PAKISTAN
3. I believe that if we have heard India blaming Pakistan, We should also hear what Pakistan has to say.

As a common man who is least interested in the international political games played by Indian and Pakistani Politicians, I believe I should hear both sides of the story and decide for myself who is right and who is wrong.

At the end of the day, I sincerely believe that the common man in Pakistan would never want to destroy India. Just like a common man in India would never want to harm Pakistan. I believe Pakistanis hate terrorists and terrorism as much as we Indians do. The terror in this world is caused by individuals and individual organizations which use the name of Islam for their personal agendas.

Though I did find it amusing that one fact pointed by Pakistani media is that the the gun totting terrorist of Mumbai Attacks we all saw in the snaps and news as KASAB is not Pakistani because –

1. He is wearing a saffron thread on his right hand which is more of a HINDU tradition than MUSLIM.
2. The Indian media said that the terrorists were carrying alcohol in their bags and no sane Muslim, especially the ones who believe to go to Allah on dying in a Jihad, would carry or take alcohol when on a mission like this.

It does sound sensible. Doesn’t it?

Some YOUTUBE VIDEOS on Pakistani TV programs on this topic. REALLY INTERESTING!

Man with 260 horsepower (35,000 men power)

Absolutely off topic… Found it so amusing that I had to share this MUST WATCH. Watch till the end of this interview :LOL:

 

The post where I found this goes -

Its his GOD GIVEN right
Ok, so lets breakdown the maths here:
• 4 Wives.
• 35 Children.
• Married 24 times.
• Has sex 15 times a day.
• Has 260 horsepower = 35,000 men power.

Facts:
- Can bend coins with his eye socket and tear them in half.
- Not only did Allah tell him to, but he has a medical certificate to prove it.
- The president pardons him from prison and recognises that he IS Super(hu)man.

Islamist Terrorism in India

Hmmm… Thought provoking….

On 31 May this year, Mullahs in India issued a fatwa denouncing terrorism as against Islam and calling it an unpardonable sin. The meeting of tens of thousands of clerics and students from around India defined terrorism as any action targeting innocent people both Muslim and non-Muslim, whether committed by an individual, and institution or a government.

It might seem strange for a fatwa against terrorism to come out of India but between 2004 and 2007 an estimated 3,674 people died as a result of terrorist attacks in that country. This is second only to that in Iraq for the same period.

[ Original news | Download Audio ]

Never touch that cucumber again! Bad Girl!

Ok. Now…. Al-Qa’eda’s rules are getting bizzare by each passing day. The 72 virgin story, the ‘should-not-shave-beard/moustache story etc. all seemed very amusing. Now listen to this… This is really gross!

Besides the terrible killings inflicted by the fanatics on those who refuse to pledge allegiance to them, Al-Qa’eda has lost credibility for enforcing a series of rules imposing their way of thought on the most mundane aspects of everyday life.

They include a ban on women buying suggestively-shaped vegetables, according to one tribal leader in the western province of Anbar.

Sheikh Hameed al-Hayyes, a Sunni elder, told Reuters: “They even killed female goats because their private parts were not covered and their tails were pointed upward, which they said was haram.

“They regarded the cucumber as male and tomato as female. Women were not allowed to buy cucumbers, only men.”

[ Read more... ]

I am getting my own twisted ideas on why would they not want women touching cucumbers…. hmmmm….

No red roses for Saudi sweethearts

Not quite a surprise…!!! I don’t know what’s the kick in walking the opposite direction always. It’s nice to walk your own way every now and then and you will be respected for that. But, differentiating for the sake of it sometimes gets too annoying…!! So much for freedom and personal choice!!!!!!

RIYADH (Reuters) – Saudi Arabia’s religious police have banned red roses ahead of Valentine’s Day, forcing couples in the conservative Muslim nation to think of new ways to show their love.

The Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice has ordered florists and gift shop owners in the capital Riyadh to remove any items colored scarlet, which is widely seen as symbolizing love, newspapers said.

“They visited us last night,” the Saudi Gazette quoted an unidentified florist as saying.

It is not unusual for the Saudi vice squad to clamp down ahead of Valentine’s Day, which it sees as encouraging relations between men and women outside of wedlock, the newspaper said.

Saudi Arabia imposes an austere form of Sunni Islam which prevents unrelated men and women from mixing, bans women from driving and demands that women wear a headscarf and a cloak.

Relations outside marriage are strictly banned and punishable by law.

(Reporting by Souhail Karam; Editing by Giles Elgood)

[ Source: Reuters ]