Who rules my life

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Last night my spouse was berating me for wanting to check my
email as soon as I got home from work. “You know”, she
complained, “I think that work rules your life”.

“No dear,” I replied, “_you_ rule my life. I just prefer work.”

Jilted Woman "Murders" "Husband" in "Japan"

In a spine-chilling case of betrayal, revenge and murder, an unnamed Japanese woman may face serious jail time for the murder of her ex-husband which occurred last year… inside an online role-playing game called Maple Story.

Whoa, this looks pretty serious.

Having come home one day to find that her online avatar had been dumped by another online avatar was apparently enough to turn this jilted divorcee into black-hearted machine of nerdy feminine vengeance.

Allegedly using some illegal software to hack into her ex’s account, the 43-year-old piano teacher proceeded to destroy his character on which he worked for over a year. A year of battling monsters and buying clothes, gone, like that. Needless to say the man contacted the police immediately. We’re going to guess he was hung up on in mid-sentence, and then the embarrassed officers had to call him back when they looked it up and realized it was a real crime.

"Thank you, Grinning Mushroom Monster, you may step down, now. The Defense rests."

The ex-wife may be looking at 5 years in prison or a $5,000 fine for her in-game crime, which we’re thinking sets the precedent for Call of Duty war crime tribunals next year. Ha, only in Japan, right?

Right?

What??? You just blew off 30 Lakhs in the stock market???

Have marked the most amusing part of the story

AHMEDABAD: The bloodbath in the stock market has not only led people to lose everything, it has also exposed cracks in relationships. A woman in

Ahmedabad is in distress after her husband is talking of deserting her as she lost over Rs 30 lakh in the market in recent times.

“I am a 34-year old housewife. I am married for the last ten years and have one daughter. In my free time, I have been trading online in stocks and earned quite a lot. But recently in this bearish trend, my stocks are not doing well and I have run into losses to the tune of Rs 12 lakh.”

“I suppose, everyone who is into stock-trading is sailing in the same boat. But my husband is not ready to take this fact. He says that he is not going to support this loss. In fact, when I was making money in the market, he was enjoying its fruits and now when I’m passing through a bad market phase, he has washed his hands off.

He is also saying that he would prefer to divorce me than shoulder my losses. It is a question of patience but he does not seems to be supportive at all. Please guide me on what to do?”

This woman apparently poured her heart out on a website launched by city-based psychiatrist Dr Hansal Bhachech for free counselling, claimed to be the first of its kind in the country. She has sought help in this situation where she has not only lost money but is also struggling to keep her marriage.

“Many women who have taken to stocks are now facing twin problems – how to cut down their losses and cut flak from their respective families for losing their money,” says Dr Bhachech.

[ source: TOI ]

English poem by Bengali Teacher

Found this over the net

A poem by a Bengali school teacher

Through the jongole I am went
On shooting Tiger I am bent

Boshtaard Tiger has eaten wife
No doubt I will avenge poor darling’s life

Too much quiet, snakes and leeches
But I not fear these sons of beeches

Hearing loud noise I am jumping with start
But noise is coming from damn fool’s heart

Taking care not to be fright
I am clutching rifle tight with eye to sight

Should Tiger come I will shoot and fall him down
Then like hero return to native town

Then through trees I am espying one cave
I am telling self – “Bannerjee be brave”

I am now proceeding with too much care
From far I smell this Tiger’s lair

My leg shaking, sweat coming, I start pray
I think I will shoot Tiger some other day

Turning round I am going to flee
But Tiger giving bloody roar spotting Bengalee

He bounding from cave like footballer Pele
I run shouting “Kali Ma tumi kothay gele “

Through the jongole I am running
With Tiger on my tail closer looming

I am a telling that never in life
I will take risk again for my damn fool wife !!!

[ source: Desimasala ]

Never miss an oppurtunity

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands their money. Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, “Did you see me rob this bank?”

The man replied, “Yes sir, I did.” The robber then shot him in the temper , killing him instantly.

He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, “Did you see me rob this bank?”

The man replied, “No sir, I didn’t, but my wife did!”

Moral – When Opportunity knocks…. MAKE USE OF IT !!!!

Secret for a successful married life

My wife sent this to me by mail….

Some advice for all those married and are yet to be married – Secret for a successful married life…

Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years. Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known “happy going marriage”.

Editor: “Sir. It’s amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible?”

Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: “We had been to Shimla for honeymoon after marriage. Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.

On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over. Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse’s back and said “This is your first time”. She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This time she again kept calm and said ” This is your second time” and continued. When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead !!

I shouted at my wife: “What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?” ..
She gave a silent look and said: “This is your first time!!!”.”

Husband:”That’s it. We are happily married ever after. “

For sale

Couldn’t resist posting this…..!!!!!!

[Malayalam] Decisions @ Home

Check it out…. This is for Mallus…. If you understand this language, enjoy it!!!!

ഒരിക്കല്‍ രാജുമോന്‍ എന്നോട് ചോദിച്ചു (രാജുമോന് വയസ്സ് മുപ്പതാ ട്ടാ..അവന്റെ പേരങ്ങനായിപ്പോയി!) സന്തുഷ്ടമായ ദാമ്പത്യജീവിതത്തിന്റെ രഹസ്യം എന്താണെന്ന്..
ഞാന്‍ പറഞ്ഞൂ…
“ഡേയ്..റെസ്‌പോണ്‍സിബിളിറ്റി ഷെയറ് ചെയ്താല്‍ മതി..വ്യക്തമായ അതിര്‍ വരമ്പുകള്‍ തീര്‍ത്ത്..അങ്ങോട്ടുമിങ്ങോട്ടും റെസ്പെക്റ്റോടെ, അവരുടെ തീരുമാനങ്ങള്‍ മാനിച്ച്..”

“എന്ന്വച്ചാ?”

“എന്ന്വച്ചാ, എന്റെ വീട്ടില്‍ വലിയവലിയ കാര്യങ്ങളില്‍ തീരുമാനമെടുക്കുന്നത് ഞാനാണ്. ചെറിയ കാര്യങ്ങളില്‍ ശ്രീമതിയും..അതില്‍ അങ്ങോട്ടുമിങ്ങോട്ടും കൈകടത്താറില്ല..”

“ഫോര്‍ എസ്കാമ്പിള്‍?”

“ഫോര്‍ എസ്കാമ്പിള്‍…ഏതു കാറ് വാങ്ങണം, എത്ര രൂപാ സേവ് ചെയ്യണം, എപ്പോ നാട്ടില്‍ പോകണം, ഏത് സോഫാ, ടി വി, ഫ്രിഡ്ജ് വാങ്ങണം, മാസ ചിലവ്, മെയിഡ് വേണോ വേണ്ടയോ, എക്സ്ട്റാ ഒരു റൂം പണിയണോ വേണ്ടയോ തുടങ്ങിയ ചെറിയ കാര്യങ്ങളില്‍ ശ്രീമതിയാണ് തീരുമാനമെടുക്കാറ്..ഞാന്‍ അത് മാനിക്കും!”

“അപ്പോ താങ്കള്‍?”

“ബു ഹഹഹ..തീരുമാനംസ് ഒണ്‍ലി ഫോര്‍ ബിഗ് ഇഷ്യൂസ്….അമേരിക്ക ഇറാനെ ആക്രമിക്കണോ വേണ്ടയോ, സിംബാവേയുടെ മുകളിലുള്ള ഉപരോധം ബ്രിട്ടന്‍ നീക്കണോ, ആഫ്രിക്കന്‍ ഇകോണമി ഓപ്പണ്‍ ആക്കണോ മുതലായവയില്‍ ഞാനാണ് തീരുമാനം..എന്റെ ശ്രീമതി കമാന്ന് എതിര് പറയില്ല!!! ങ്‌ഹാ!”

“…..”

I got this from a comment on one of the posts @ Kodakarapuranam blog. A really nice blog for people who understand Malayalam!!!