[Spoof] I am an iPhone – I am Bill Gates

 I found this Mac-PC spoof on iPhone here. It was hilarious plus loaded with some statisitical info :).

Hello. I’m a Mac…
And I’m Bill Gates, here to rain a little gloominess on your euphoria over the iPhone.
Oh, come on, the iPhone is revolutionary! It’s an iPod, a phone, and a “breakthrough internet device.”
And what makes it a breakthrough device, exactly? As far as I can tell, that just means the iPhone can sync with your email and bookmarks — just like any other PDA since 1999. Oh, and it has built-in icons for a bookmarked weather page.
You forgot the built-in camera capabilities. Plus, you’re missing the point. A lot of ordinary applications — like maps, search engines, and yes, weather — are exponentially more useful when they’re elegantly available on a handheld mobile device.
It’s all hype over nothing. Apple’s web page describes the iPhone’s supposedly high tech features, and it turns out they just mean it has OS X and a touchscreen.
And an accelerometer! And quad-band GSM…
What if I want to rotate my pictures 90 degrees. Will the iPhone keep “correcting” its display, forcing me into a contest to see which of us can rotate the image faster?
And you’re also overlooking the built-in proximity sensors and ambient light sensors to save power.
That’s another thing. I can’t believe Apple is bragging that they got a whopping five hours of web browsing/phone usage/video time. But don’t worry, if you only listen to music at work, you can go a whole two days without recharging.
Yes, without a recharge there’s 16 hours of audio playback. And the Zune does, what — 14 hours?
Just because the Zune is crap doesn’t make the iPhone a paradigm shift…
The reaction from the press has been phenomenally positive. Eat the Press says it will be remembered by history as one of three products that revived Apple and “hastened the end of Microsoft” — the iMac, the iPod, and the iPhone.
And Apple’s market share now is, what, 5.7%?
For PC’s, yeah — something like that. But don’t you see what’s happening? PC’s are 1990, man! Handheld devices are approaching the processing power of PCs — and everyone has at least one. Either a cellphone or an mp3 player, if not a PDA. It’s like Microsoft just cornered the market on Univacs.
So if I say Microsoft has an overwhelming installed base, you’ll just wish that into the cornfield and say the future belongs to Apple?
It’s not wishing. Apple’s market share for digital music is 75%. The iPod’s market share is 62%. And as we pointed out Tuesday, Apple sells almost as much recorded music as Target — and more than Amazon.
Help me out here. That’s significant why, exactly? Is this the point where you yell “Steve Jobs has a magic third eye that sees into the future?”
A hand-held future is already here. The U.S. is already behind the rest of the world in terms of wireless and cellphone adoption – and the cool services that go along with them. 40% of Japanese adults already browse the web with their cellphone.
In Japan it’s nearly impossible to get an internet connection in your home! Plus, people there spend something like four hours a day commuting. I’m sick to death of people touting regional anomalies as some harbinger of the future. They should make an ad where there’s three actors representing devices — a Mac, a PC, and a teenaged Japanese girl representing the ability to send text messages on a Hello Kitty cellphone.
Well, Solutions Research Group determined that 40 million Americans consider the iPhone “a great idea” for themselves personally. They also predicted a 50% increase in the number of Americans owning an Apple product just 18 months after the product is released.
That’s another thing. “When it’s released” isn’t until sometime around this summer. (Which means your adoption study is talking about the year 2009!) I thought Microsoft was supposed to be the ones announcing Vaporware.
Are you really accusing Apple of pre-announcing a new product just to dampen interest in a competitor?
Apple unveiled a plastic box with some make-believe pixel images of buttons. MacWorld’s rabid gadget-o-philes were kept at bay by a plastic cylinder. It was like Maxwell Smart invented a “cone of non-disclosure.”
It’s real. Technology reporters saw it.
You just want to believe. It’s still just a pretend phone until June. The last iPhone I saw was made out of cardboard because some guy printed out a picture that he found on the web.
Doesn’t that prove consumers are hungry for this device?
It proves Mac users have too much time on their hands. Here’s a prediction. 12 months from now, Apple releases a new iPhone that’s tangerine colored — and Mac-heads will buy 20 million of them.
Who’s living in the future now?
Or a “Blue Dalmation” pattern….
Now that would be pretty sweet.
iPhone may not even be its name! About 18 hours in, Cisco filed a lawsuit claiming they owned the trademark. I can see the ad campaign now. “Say hello to the — no wait, don’t.” Maybe they’ll call it the Tangerine-o-Phone.
Why are you so bitter?
Because I bought a Newton in 1997.
Ha ha. And yet, despite the fact that it was discontinued, there’s still tremendously loyal user groups. Doesn’t that prove that Apple forms strong and lasting relationships with its customers?
No, it just proves Mac users are crazy.
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  1. #1 by bob on November 3, 2007 - 12:41 am

    Your forgot poland.

  2. #2 by len on August 3, 2010 - 8:52 am

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