How to kill a Lion in the context of Indian IT coms. No offense to anybody working in these companies. This mail has been floating around and I found it in my inbox today morning. I am really amused by the creativity people have put in to add to this list. People who know Indian IT companies and read this in that context would be able to relate more to the humor.
**I was trying to submit this post to some social bookmarking sites and found more variations! It gets even more interesting! 😉
- Hire a lion… ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.
- Give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.
- Hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit
- Give them same gobi 65 to eat
- Hire 200 more……. and more …….
- Hire a lion
- Give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary
- Lion dies of hunger and frustration
- Hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour …
- He dies of unemployment…
- Hire a Lion
- Give him a mail Id.
- He will die recieving stupid mails all day……..!!!!
- Hire a Cat …
- Assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and
- Make sure that he never reaches onsite.
- Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion….
- Hire the lion, make him take 14 tests
- Tell him that if he doesn’t score 60% in all those, he will lose the job.
- Lion dies of the strain
- Hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari
- For implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes alive he will get band movement (promotion)
- Holy cow dies in fear of the real lion
- Hire a lion .
- Tell him to merge with Goats (polaris) and reduce his allowance…
- Lion dies from fear that tommorrow he might become a goat…..
Polaris Method :
- Hire ..sorry….purchase a lion(COSL) ..
- Change his timings…(instead of 9 AM …change it to 8:30 AM )
- Cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
- Lion dies from fear of becoming CAT…..
- Hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat…
- The lion dies before joining….
- Hire a lion….
- Send him to chennai, India
- Ask him to stay on bench for a long time
- Ask him to eat idli, Dosa and Vada
- No hindi, kannada or no other languages speaking ppl other than TAMIL…
- No good food, No water..and specially No Beautiful girls
- And say him “Go Ahead be a Tiger”.
- Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion……
- Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion…
- Give him work of 3 Lions
- Tell him to work late and even on weekends…
- No time for food and family, automatically die
- Hire a lion
- Send him for training in Mysore and make him feel like the KING OF THE JUNGLE.
- Make him take a ‘Generic Compree Exam’…………LION TURNS INTO CAT
- Make him take a ‘Stream Compree Exam’………….CAT TURNS INTO A MOUSE
- Send him into production which has nothing to do with what he was trained for.
- MOUSE RUNS HERE AND THERE FOR HELP!!!
- Send him mails telling about mandatory certifications.
- MOUSE COMMITS SUICIDE.
Read it, appreciate the humor, forget it. 😀 Enjoy!