The TAURUS Man

I just got this as a mail from a friend of mine – A Zodiac guide of a Taurus man. Though being a Taurus person myself, I do not think I agree with all of these, but there are sentences I feel really fit me. I am including the whole excerpt here with statements I agree marked in green. And statements I wish were true marked in blue. ๐Ÿ˜‰

A quiet, simple man who can do something unexpected to shock you. Taurus man mostly medium tall, strong with good health, good strong body. When he talks, he likes to turn his head to one side on one direction. His body will be quite straight, facial structure tends to be square shape more than other shape. His eyes sparkle with liveliness. Even when he is in love, he is still a free wild bird. He is a sand in your palm, the more you want to hold it, and it will slip out. If you stand and hold it still, it will stay that way. Don’t set the rules and draw a line for him, he will not stay. When you are with him, he will think only of you. But an hour later he could change his mind. He is very patient with other people, but very impatient with himself. His world always turning and it will not stop just because he loves you. If he up sets, he will show it right away. If something has gone wrong, he will blame his own carelessness instead of blaming other people. He sincere to his friends even to some friends he does not like. He likes to do odd things and surprise other people. He could be fully dress in a nice suit and jump in the pool. He could slap your back so hard just to make you turn around to see he has flowers in his hand. He never wants to get too close with anyone for he thinks living in reality is living by yourself. He does not care what people think when he behaves weird. He could be walking bare feet and laughing at people who laugh at him and think they are so narrow minded. He does not likes to follow conformity, but always want to search for new ventures, new mystery. He will interest in a life of a millionaire as much as a life of an old man selling newspaper on a sidewalk vendor. He likes to search and analyze people and things. He will analyze his friends or his girl friend, and once the mystery is gone, he will search for new puzzle to solve. He can not easily understand thing, so he will gradually learning about you till he fills up all his questions. He knows so many people, but he has a few friends. He looks for quality friends than quantity friends. He will be close with some friends shortly and move on. He always feel lonely even surround by many people.

He could create his own little world, and sometimes no one would understand him. He looks only for future and he thinks he lives for the future. He may wonder how many people think like he does, but he does not want to be like the others. A man with a conflicting personality. He is a cool, understanding, able to work well, and very artistic. Taurus man could be an artist. He could shock you as much as he is able to clam you down when you up set. He is a free spirit who likes venture, but when he wants to be alone, do not touch him but to let him be. He won’t disappear from the crowds too long, he will be back. He will give you straight forward opinion or comments, but will never advice what he thinks you should do. He does not like people to tell him what he should do too. He thinks each individual dreams and thoughts should be very private. He will use his brain not his body strength, so he will let other guys compete. He has a certain satisfactory in life and hate to force himself in competition. He may seem careless, but actually he is a thinker and a stubborn one. He sees anything in details and not easily trusted people till he thinks he knows them well. You can just smile and he will think why and what are you smiling about, and if you are pretending. Once he trust you and accept you as a friend, no one can say other wise to change that for he will not listen to gossip. He will be honest and sincere to his friends. He hates lies, so he will not tell you lies. If he finds it is necessary to lie, he will find other ways not to tell you or avoid telling you anything. If he really has to lie, you will never be able to tell that he is lying. He can really keep secrets, so you will hardly know that he is a lonely soul. If you want this kind of guy, you have to be an interesting person. He has to be curious about you. Hell for him is “No Freedom”, so if he marries you then you should know it is the biggest decision in his life. Always be interesting, and then you could have him beside you.

  1. #1 by charmy on July 20, 2007 - 9:30 pm

    my boyfriend is taurus.. n da things riten in dis description is so true. i mean he is just like. but hard luck we fight a lot. i am saggitarius. so its always gona be trouble but still we love each other alot. i cant live without him. he’s just so loving and caring. but when he’s stubborn, he ruins everything, even da surprises! neways, it is really described very well. and i’ll keep hoping always dat everything settles between us soooon.

  2. #2 by Preethu on April 22, 2008 - 5:40 am

    Well my best friend is a taurean!! jus coz am lil too much into these sun signs,offlately he too started a bit of this reading n jus forwarded this link to me… thts how am gonne drop in my comments-
    In the first place i say he is MAN’S MAN! u wont meet such an UNDERSTANDING n SENSIBLE guy, the things marked in green r truly to be looked in when i count on my taurean frnd but wanna highlight some things which is left out from both green n blue here is that “he knows many people but he will be close with only some and he looks for quality frnds than quantity frnds,
    He could create his own little world, and sometimes no one would understand him,
    Once he trust you and accept you as a friend, no one can say other wise to change that for he will not listen to gossip
    – all which are very much true at the same time somethings which are completely wrong like
    “He will be close with some friends shortly and move on
    He does not care what people think when he behaves weird”

    in my own opinion on the negative side :
    he can be the most stubborn person and
    when he is angry or irritated he can be the most brutal
    person in his own way of letting it out, he can never shout but as we know slow poisioning can cause double the amount of hurt others can give us ๐Ÿ™‚ again this happpens once in a blue moon when am real unlucky and he is really provoked!!

    above all,
    one thing u can be sure of is if he is friends with anyone, thts for sure n life time offer”
    and i love him for that

  3. #3 by nikki on June 9, 2008 - 8:06 pm

    Never read anything more true in my life!!!!!!!!!!

    I’m a taurus female dealing with a taurus male. Hes wonderful, but so complex. This write up says it all perfectly!!

  4. #4 by brown_eyes70 on June 22, 2008 - 1:22 am

    I’m a Scorpio woman, who about 1yr ago met this amazing but very complex Taurus man. I’m one who has learned to develope patience but with him it can be very trying. One day he is telling me we are dating, the next he states he just want — with no strings attached??? We go for a few months without talking but at the end we always seem to find eachother. When we are together it’s the greatest, he is so kind, loving and tender. That is why I’m so confused about him and how to appoarch him or if I should keep on trying.
    Something about this man just intrigues me! I last saw him about 3 weeks ago when I left he told me to call him. So I try and I get texts saying, “I’m in a meeting” so frankly I dropped it. I’m NOT one to chase a man but I sure do love the challenge. It’s silly but my heart tells me he truly does like me but I also know he has gone through some rough patches. He is divorced twice and has 4 kids total, ohh and not to forget a job that keeps him there 24/7. I’m very confused at this point and I don’t want to be a pushie woman but right now I really don’t know where I stand, If I stand anywhere with him at all.
    Is there a Taurus man out there that can relate to this behavior, action?? If so can you tell me how should I appoarch this or should I even try?

    Scorpio!!!

  5. #5 by Priya barti on June 25, 2008 - 5:23 am

    Interesting!!!!
    Since Taurus is my friendship sign( Realized after a research of 6 years. from my college days) I admire Taurus qualities. Sincere, loyal, calm(sure, they are not aggressive), humourous… etc
    One thing I am sure, they are good friends.
    At times, when my mom says about the alliance she is considering for me, I would always try to know their date of birth. Just to know if he is aTaurus!!!!

  6. #6 by Bre on June 27, 2008 - 9:07 pm

    I have been dating a taurus man off and on for about a year now. He is the most mysterious person (male or female) that I have ever met in my life. I love him very much and just when it seems we are about to move to the next level like moving in or even saying I love you, he backs up and I don’t hear or see from him for days or even weeks. I am an Aries and I’m very impatient, but something tells me he will be worth the wait because when we are together he treats me like a princess. He buys me whatever I want, takes me to nice places and is very affectionate. Taurus men are nuts! And I’m starting to think so am I for dealing with a Taurus man. This will be the absolute last Taurus I will ever deal with.

  7. #7 by brown_eyes70 on July 2, 2008 - 3:26 am

    Bre

    That’s to funny. My Taurus man is exactly the same way??? I have never dated a Taurus man until last year and now I must say I’m so intrigued by them. I love the challenge but there are times when I feel I’m on the endless rollar coaster ride. I have to say I gave up on my last Taurus man because he tells me to call, text or email but he never response back. Well he does on his time.
    I just recently started dating another Taurus man well lets just say they are like two peas in a pod. With this one though I have learned to go at this pace, not be pushy, needy or to over whelming. They can not handle that type of emotion and will block you out. I find Taurus men to be sweet, kind, loving, tender and funny.
    I believe that my last taurus man was placed in my life to prepare for this one. I’m happy with this one so far, he is attentive as long as I don’t push him.

    Scorpio

  8. #8 by scorpio on September 18, 2008 - 6:53 am

    brown_eyes70

    Thanks for your comments, I too am a Scorpio just started seeing a Taurus man…what a ride!! But, I don’t want to let go….your comments helped me a lot. My guy is also so very considerate, treats me like a princess, works 24/7, sweet, kind, loving, tender and funny….has had some recents ‘bumps in the road’. Like you, I find him so intriguing, haven’t heard from him for a week. Not sure what the issue is…but something tells me I’ll be hearing from him again one day…beginning to think I should move on, but it is hard, because when we are together it is so wonderful.

  9. #9 by Sagi-Grl on November 3, 2008 - 3:07 pm

    I have a MAJOR MAJOR MAJOOOOR crush on a Taurus guy!
    I met him through a very good friend and had always been hearing about him. The second i saw him i practically fell for him.

    I do feel that he is interested but he never initiated anything!!! I’m the one who always msgs him.. He never ignores my messages yet replies when he finds it appropriate. When I call him he always picks up and he is extra sweet… I dont get it ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    I havent been msging him for the past few days and neither has he. I donno if i should msg him or just wait for him to msg me.

  10. #10 by Frustrated on November 19, 2008 - 12:22 am

    I am dating a Tarus man too and everything everyone is complaining about is identical to what I am dealing with. This is the third Taurus man I have dated. 2 of them were very similar but the third one was a bit different but still was stubborn. The one I am with now also confuses the heck out of me. One minute he is so talkative and affectionate and caring and sweet and then the next minute he is rude, mean and distant. When it’s good it’s great but when it’s bad I just want to let him go. Talk about a roller coaster…I will be patient and see where it leads. I do notice that he does not like to be pestered and pushed. He doesn’t like anything that could seem like he is getting orders. I just let him be and carry on with my life and leave the ball in his court most times.

  11. #11 by pampula on November 29, 2008 - 1:48 pm

    i ve been with a taurus man for nearly 4 months: love him but never been with such a moody guy. he s driving me crazy. im a capricorn so my nature is i wanna KNOW NOW.but with him i try to be patient but it’s really really hard. cause i normally understand who i deal with but not him. i tried to give up and split up even if i didnt want to just to get a reaction but he didnt let me break up in his way. so i m more confuse than ever. when we re together he is sweet and caring even if we fight a lot, cause im really firy as well, and seems he loves this part of my personality but cant stand that at the same time.
    to cut the long story short i normally know which way to take but right now for the first time in my life i dont know and i find really hard to give up. does anybody have a suggestion?

  12. #12 by pampula on November 29, 2008 - 1:49 pm

    i ve been with a taurus man for nearly 4 months: love him but never been with such a moody guy. he s driving me crazy. im a capricorn so my nature is i wanna KNOW NOW.but with him i try to be patient but it’s really really hard. cause i normally understand who i deal with but not him. i tried to give up and split up even if i didnt want to just to get a reaction but he didnt let me break up in his way. so i m more confused than ever. when we re together he is sweet and caring even if we fight a lot, cause im really firy as well, and seems he loves this part of my personality but cant stand that at the same time.
    to cut the long story short i normally know which way to take but right now for the first time in my life i dont know and i find really hard to give up. does anybody have a suggestion?

  13. #13 by Talkdatishgirl on December 24, 2008 - 10:02 am

    Now…I am so relieved that other people are going thru this because I really thought that I was the only one going thru this…

    Now check it…I have been dealing with a Taurus for 6 months now. He is one of the most amazing men that I have ever met in my life. He is sweet, kind, talkative (when he’s not in a bad mood), and honest. He makes me wanna do better because he is constantly telling me things that I could do to improve myself.

    Unlike most of the other men I have dated in the past, I really like being with him but he is crazy, lol. One moment he’s the happiest person, the next moment he’s upset (about nothing) and wants to cop an attitude and not speak to you the rest of the night.

    He likes to have his alone time and cops this major attitude which lasts about 2 hours. I have found myself many days saying F this, this is too much work but later on catch myself because I was taught that the good ones are worth waiting for but goddamn, why does it have to be so much work loving a Taurus????

    Like someone said in the previous post, when its good, its great and when its bad, its bad… I find myself always cursing him out because he said something I didn’t like then being the one who ends up crying and apologizing. He acts all tough but he’s sensitive and he will remember some ish u said like a month ago.

    I am a virgo so I don’t play with him but he still has me on a rollercoaster but after reading this and coming up with my own suggestions- I think u just have to date them and have other people around until they come around because if ur only dating them- ur gonna wanna shoot em when he gets in those weekly moods and stop calling u. How I handled that was- I told him that I’m not accepting no man not calling me for no week or two weeks and after that we had no problem.

    I’m starting to get used to his “bi-polar acts”…when he get that attitude I ignore him now. Like someone said earlier- u have to have another life besides them…meaning make sure u have hobbies and homegirls- other wise u will drive yourself crazy. Hell, let’s start an internet support group for women who date Tauruses. I feel me and him are great together we just have some issues that need to be worked out. Now that I figured out all that stuff… I’m working on getting him to stop being so cheap. He will take me everywhere but when it comes down to gifts and stuff- he’s a little cheap (if u ask me)…once he get past that- he’ll be mine forever but until then…we shall see.
    All I can say is- this will be my last Taurus man… Yes its like the most beautiful experience I have had since my first love but its entirely too much work- real talk. I hope we make it work because I’m not playing no more games with this hard headed bull. Taurus men are just like Geminis just without the lies and sexual addictions. Hope this help you…email me for further talk…Talkdatishgirl@aim.com. Peace.

  14. #14 by Talkdatishgirl on December 24, 2008 - 10:10 am

    Now…I am so relieved that other people are going thru this because I really thought that I was the only one going thru this…

    Now check it…I have been dealing with a Taurus for 6 months now. He is one of the most amazing men that I have ever met in my life. He is sweet, kind, talkative (when he’s not in a bad mood), and honest. He makes me wanna do better because he is constantly telling me things that I could do to improve myself.

    Unlike most of the other men I have dated in the past, I really like being with him but he is crazy, lol. One moment he’s the happiest person, the next moment he’s upset (about nothing) and wants to cop an attitude and not speak to you the rest of the night.

    He likes to have his alone time and cops this major attitude which lasts about 2 hours. I have found myself many days saying F this, this is too much work but later on catch myself because I was taught that the good ones are worth waiting for but goddamn, why does it have to be so much work loving a Taurus????

    Like someone said in the previous post, when its good, its great and when its bad, its bad… I find myself always cursing him out because he said something I didn’t like then being the one who ends up crying and apologizing. He acts all tough but he’s sensitive and he will remember some ish u said like a month ago.

    I am a virgo so I don’t play with him but he still has me on a rollercoaster but after reading this and coming up with my own suggestions- I think u just have to date them and have other people around until they come around because if ur only dating them- ur gonna wanna shoot em when he gets in those weekly moods and stop calling u. How I handled that was- I told him that I’m not accepting no man not calling me for no week or two weeks and after that we had no problem.

    I’m starting to get used to his “bi-polar acts”…when he get that attitude I ignore him now. Like someone said earlier- u have to have another life besides them…meaning make sure u have hobbies and homegirls- other wise u will drive yourself crazy. Hell, let’s start an internet support group for women who date Tauruses. I feel me and him are great together we just have some issues that need to be worked out. Now that I figured out all that stuff… I’m working on getting him to stop being so cheap. He will take me everywhere but when it comes down to gifts and stuff- he’s a little cheap (if u ask me)…once he get past that- he’ll be mine forever but until then…we shall see.
    All I can say is- this will be my last Taurus man… Yes its like the most beautiful experience I have had since my first love but its entirely too much work- real talk. I hope we make it work because I’m not playing no more games with this hard headed bull. Taurus men are just like Geminis just without the lies and sexual addictions. Hope this help you…email me for further talk…Talkdatishgirl@aim.com. Peace.

    PS- this is how I know he might be the one…today he told me I’m the juice in his life because before me his life was simple. With me I have always been juicy just always needed some simplicity- that’s crazy right!

  15. #15 by taurus man on January 11, 2009 - 4:24 pm

    virgo ladies… he loves you very much. trust me. But why does he act all crazy?

    b\c he wants a certain kind of honest attention from you…and the mood swings is his way of getting that attention from you… with your reaction…a ‘truthful/sincere/honest” reaction from you (face, body language, otherwise)

    When actions are dubitable …reactions are what we we’ve got to keep us ‘in the know’

    sometimes your a bit preoccupied with worries or perfecting something else that you forget what matters to him? affection.
    dont ignore him. (give him space to breathe? sure) but if you ignore him. It’ll make him cheat on you, or some resentment will grow. He has the heart of a child… and so be appreciative of it… not critical… b\c thats the same passion you fell in love with him for, its the same trait in him that all your girlfriends are jealous about you in your couple, and its what calms you down after you go on your mental lockdowns

    even when he doesnt call… your taking this as him being indifferent…in my experience… really, its like savoring the moment and waiting to to free up my schedule, so I can give my all to her.

    hope this helps

  16. #16 by pampula on January 16, 2009 - 3:10 pm

    thank u for writing ur experience especially talkdatishgirl. really similar experience. why cheap gifts though,do they do that just at the beginning when they r not sure yet about us?and if a taurus man start to feel something in 5 months does he controls himself and doesnt express it and push u back, or would he start to date someone just because his love dumped him two years ago and she will get married with another so he s got no chance with her anymore? so my real question is do taurus man get over heart break after two years.and as they say is it just friendship between exes? please anyone reply to this.thanx

  17. #17 by meanttobe on February 20, 2009 - 3:05 am

    OMG!! Yeah, let’s start a support group for dating taurus men. I have been dating a taurus for 4 months now…OH! I’m a Libra btw…Goddess of love…needless to say…he’s very faithful etc…bla bla bla…but dang it…I’m working way too hard. If I had to rank his communication skills…it’s a 2!!!! Make it so bad he’s in customer service. Go figure! I love him really I do..but he’s confusing the fk out of me. He told me it was love at first sight…then just recently…he tells me that he can never say I LOVE YOU due to bad relationships…yes, it was bad. I’m in the process of telling him that we need to take a break for awhile but I feel like I’m letting him down….I don’t know…just confused. He’s going through a transition…and asked me for his support….but, I feel he doesn’t need to be with any woman at this time…he needs to focus on what he needs to do. Need advice on what to do…..

  18. #18 by Libra banana on March 13, 2009 - 10:32 am

    meanttobe and talkdashit girl. I agree with you. Have the same problem. Been out with 3 taurus in the past three years. They found me, have a big crush on me, beg me to like them and make me fall and then going all hot and cold.

    Can someone tell, this last one I am starting with we live in diff countires, he chase me for few months. then I went to see him had a wonderful weekend then disappear with nothing for two weeks now.

    I know I am quite patient since I got tons of experince . but why can a taurus tell me??

    Thanks ๐Ÿ™‚ I am a libra by the way

  19. #19 by Virgo on March 20, 2009 - 3:13 am

    I have been reading what everyone has been saying, and I am also going through a similar experience myself, with a Taurus man. The only thing is, we aren’t dating, but he did say that he is attracted to me and also mentioned the “possibility” of us getting together in the future. I get mixed signals from him. He has shown signs that he is interested, but at the same time, he says that he doesn’t want a relationship with anyone. It’s driving me nuts. I won’t hear from him for a while, and then all of a sudden out of the blue, he will call.

    He even told me one day that he didn’t want me to start having feelings for him, but then one day he wanted to come over to see me, and we were drinking, and he started kissing me. So naturally, this stirs up my emotions a bit and I start thinking that he is starting to change his mind about wanting to be in a relationship with me. But still…..nothing. He told me that it shouldn’t have happened and said that he is attracted to me, but he has no feelings for me. Huh? Why would he kiss me? It all makes no sense. Most men, if they really like a woman and he is attracted to her, he will just be with her and make no excuses about it. For some reason, this guy is different.

    I spoke with him on the phone the other day, and was asking him why he would kiss me if he has no feelings for me. All he could tell me is that he was attracted to me, which frustrated me to hear such a simple explanation after he told me not to start having feelings for him, and then later he kisses me. We ended up arguing and he hung up on me. I have not heard from him since and don’t know if I should call him or just wait for him to call me, which may never happen.

    I believe that I made him mad by asking him about the situation, but I feel that I have a right to know what in the world he is trying to do, especially when what he says and what he does are two different things. I am so confused by the way he is doing things that I don’t know whether to be a little more patient with him and try to figure out where he is coming from, or to just forget about him altogether. Maybe by me asking questions, he may have seen this as being too pushy at a time when he might not have been ready to discuss this. I don’t know what to think at this point.

    I want to call him so bad, but knowing how stubborn and moody a taurus man can be, I am afraid that he will be cold or distant towards me if he is not ready to talk yet, and things may end up worse than they are now. Also, I don’t want him to feel pressured, so I have just been waiting for him to call me. Up until this point, we have been very close friends. I hate not knowing if he is ever going to speak to me again, or if he is so mad at me that he could care less if I even existed. Does anyone have any suggestions?

  20. #20 by Virgo on March 30, 2009 - 12:46 am

    Wow.. this site pretty much sums my ex up. He is a taurus and we dated for 2 years up until last week. We broke up and he thinks its all my fault (because they are never wrong). So he breaks up with me and that SAME night is holding my hand, crying(which I have NEVER seen him do) and kissing me. Then, he ignores me for 4 days all the while I’m calling him (not good) then finally calls and we talk normal. He says its not a good idea if we start dating right away but he thinks we can make it work if we are mean’t to be. Then, the next day he says he has no faith in this relationship. But we still talk?! Yesterday, we went to a park and had a picnic to talk and he says he’s not looking for anyone else and not going to be hooking up with other people and neither am I BUT he doesn’t want to date. F-ing confusing! He is so bad at communicating it drives me absolutely crazy! We also had sex yesterday…he says thats not what he wants from me but I have a feeling it is… Now, he is being a jerk and saying he will call me later. I mean what the hell am I supposed to do be patient and wait probably 5 months until he calls me?! F-that.. Does anyone have a similar situation? I mean i have so many mixed emotions…he wants to be with me, he doesn’t, he wants to have sex, blah blah blah. I don’t know if I can do this much longerrrr! They say virgos and taurus are the best match but I’m thinking other wise. I’m really hurt right now because he is giving me mixed feelings and I don’t want to move on but I think I need to?!

  21. #21 by jess on April 12, 2009 - 6:52 pm

    lol I have so much fun reading thur all the comment and admit that it makes me feel so much better. I stumble across this site as i’m now getting involved with a taurus guy. I’m Aries by the way. If anyone would start a supporting group or know about where we can get and share idea about ‘taurus guy’ please tell me. Or you girls can add me: littlerebella@gmail.com

    I never realized before the sign play so big part in relationship.

    I’m not even know if what I’m having with this guy is a relationship or not. I call it a somewhat semi-relationship. I only dating him for 4 months. We manage to meet like every 2 weeks mostly for dinner (we did have sex but only 2 times and the fact that he still being sweet and want to see me just for dinner and sweet time make me feel right and good that he is not after me just for sex)

    Like some said above, when its good its great. But when we parted we are like stranger who only contact thru text message like once a day or once in two day…

    I’m not sure if he is having someone else at home or dating other women also. Not that I dont care but I was hurt in my previous relationship before so I’m very cautious not giving my heart out so I dont bother (or atleast convince myself not to) finding out about him.

    Its funny because I also give him a comment that he should get checked because he looks like having those ‘bi-polar’ personality since one minute he is super sweet and was about to tell me the ‘love’ word but the next minute he can just turn thing around by picking on me or making a mean joke. I was upset and took it as offense before and almost giving up on him too many times but as i know him better now I start to get used to…

    would love to read more from girls who are seeing taurus guy (hope I’m still having something to do with him though…)

  22. #22 by ARIES GIRL on April 20, 2009 - 5:52 pm

    OMG… i have read these posts now over the past 1/2 hour and they all ring completely true…. why were Taurus men invented, they are completely BI-POLAR, but completely addictive…. There should be a channel on TV dedicated to these strange creatures !!!

    I am head over heels in lust with a Taurus guy, i am an Aries girl. They say we are not a good match, but being honest that is an absolute load of baloney. Aries need Earth, Earth needs fire. He can be an absolute pain in the butt, and calm me down one minute, only to infuriate me the next.

    Very loving, attentative guys… they know how to suck you in. The minute you lose there trust, that is it!!

    They dont like head games, yet they are the ones ACTUALLY doing it….

  23. #23 by jess on April 21, 2009 - 2:02 pm

    Anybody have any idea what would be a nice Birthday gift for a Taurus guy?

    I was thinking to get a perfume but not sure its a good idea because this bull can be so blunt and hurt my feeling if he doesnt like the my tast as I sent him a few song lists before and he return my favor by telling me none of the songs I sent he find interesting, they are bad melody with uninteresting lyrics….. shock? No. But sensitive, yes.

    So may be its better to get something around his taste and his usual ways. As I see my taurus is so set in a way for everything. Eat at same place, stay at same hotel, wear cloths same color (I even suspect if he wear the same old cloths everytime but no he just have a dozen of the same pattern/same colour!)

    Would appreciate some idea, Thanks

  24. #24 by jess on April 21, 2009 - 4:02 pm

    Oh cant help to add some more, my taurus guy is very arrogant with his sharp toungue which is ready to cut anyone who want to fcuk with him up, his attitude is like go ahead fcuk with me and I fcuk you more…. crazy!

    And what annoy me from time to time is when he is not there for me when i just need him since we dont contact everyday or as often as any other normal couples…

    So apart from his insensitive dry-to-even- mean humour and the fact that he is not always there for me, He is just simply irrisistable!

  25. #25 by scorpio on April 22, 2009 - 4:44 pm

    hi scorpio bown eyes…i too am a scorpio and married to a taurus man… now let me tell you few things about them..”T’ are very straight forward ppl but set in their ways..They like girls who are very feminine and behave in a feminine way…they are very look concious so they always look out for attractive girls… now if you like him and keep him then you need to slowly n steadily push him to your side…thats what i did to my “T” husband…they are very indecisive ppl…sply when they are matured and also your case is also of a guy whi is been divorced..so he will take a lot of time to decide what he wants to do…they take very deliberate n measured steps….when i was dating my husband he never used to say anything concrete to me so all i did was dress up to my best have polite converstaions with him…and once the dating was over after few days ask him for another..you will have to take all the steps..they are not the kinds who will show how excited they are to see you…you just need to be there for him,talk to him often and show him that u r very interested in him… he will slowly but definitely moves towards you…. also never be tomboyish infront of him..if you get hurt ..just show how upset you are with tears and hust few words…dont go on and on about it… You are scorpio iam sure he does find you intriguing..he will be yours one day…but do all this only if you want him 100%..these guys are very tuff to deal with..ask me now that i have him as my husband… You can also win him by baking a cake or whtever he likes…and tell him you made it..(even if you bought it from market;)… he loves all this kind of gestures

  26. #26 by patience on April 27, 2009 - 6:19 pm

    Wow, wow, wow! I thought I was the only “good looking, sexy, intelligent, and confident woman going through this! Truly, I am relieved. This Taurus goes months without setting up a date and I’m like “what the hell”! I actually met my Taurus when I was seperated from my first marriage. This man came into my life and gave me hope that I will be treated like I deserve to be treated some day. I really love this man, really. He has gone as far as to show me the diamond ring he bought me. He says “whenever you’re ready” That’s how he presented it to me. I respond by telling him I can wait until he’s sure. I don’t want him to later blame me for dragging him into a commitment with me. I just want things to fall in place. After all of that this man still moves at his own pace! Ha, and I still have these days when I’m like “what the hell”. Now he has moved a little further, he calls when he feels like it. That pisses me off all the time. But check this out! He’s always asking people about me and always talking about me, I have never in my life met a man like this one. I want more but, I am so scared to sit and wait for this man just to have him break my heart, I’m really scared about that. I do have a life outside of my relationship, however, he’s always on my mind, and I’m praying to God this man is well worth the wait but, only time will tell. I just don’t know how much longer I can wait.

  27. #27 by Taurus girl on April 29, 2009 - 7:03 pm

    Slow to move and slow to make a decision, which is what is said about the TAURUS man, which is all true, My Taurus man I have known for almost 12 years, we dated back when I was 21 and did not want a committed relationship? As the years moved on and we went our separate ways, we made it back together, and I can tell you that he is very, very difficult, he is not sure what he wants, very fickle minded when it comes to relationship he will want to be in control.

    But it does not mean that he does not care about you, he just has a hard time showing it. He will say I donโ€™t want to be in a relationship today , and Wednesday call and tell you that he cant live without you, and by the way, please donโ€™t ask him โ€œ how he feels about youโ€ you will not get an answer. He will avoid the question and find ways later to show you how he feels.

    Taurus are very loving, just donโ€™t like to be rushed into anything, time is the only answer and when he feels like he can trust you, he will give you what you want. You have to basically act as if you donโ€™t care about him in order to get his attention. He will like to have his space.

    Once he is involved with you he will not cheat on you a very loyal man. I am a TAURUS and I am still having a hard time, although we are born the same month says apart we are so very different, we have some characteristics alike, but he wants to have his way and so do I. but we canโ€™t leave each other alone. He has told me three times within one year that he does not want a relationship. So I am letting things go as it should..SLOW!!!

  28. #28 by jess on April 30, 2009 - 12:48 pm

    Anybody can suggest me an idea for a birthday gift for a taurus man?

    I’m so nervious because I used to send him some songs and he replied me those songs are uninteresting with bad melody…. so i doubt if i give him purfume and he didnt like it he would return me the direct and mean comment. Thinking about an electric shaver but since he likes to be in control so he only use normal shaver…

    Since everybody said food is a way to Taurus, so may be i should just get him chocolate or cake?

  29. #29 by Taurus girl on May 1, 2009 - 3:07 pm

    It depends on his personality, I know from being Taurus women and dating a Taurus man, we can be very picky at times. Does he like jewelry? If so get him a silver bracelet he would like that. Make it simple, he is not a fussy man; if you did get cologne make sure that smell is not to it strong.

    Or just surprise him and take him out to eat, but ask him first if he has any planes for his birthday. What day is it?

  30. #30 by A frustrated girl on May 1, 2009 - 4:12 pm

    well………….what a suprise! im dealing with the same situation…..I have been dating this taurus guy for a few months. He is exactly a taurus to a tee. Simple man, stubborn but very sensual and loving. Our situation is a little difficult because we work together and its strictly against the rules to be dating but we are anyways. I thought things were going well until sunday when he told me we shouldn’t hang out anymore. hes confused, doesn’t know what he wants, doesnt know if he wants a relationship, etc, etc, etc. But he still likes me and hopes there is more in the future. He still calls me babe, and sweetie but doesn’t want to hang out cuz he is confused. I dont know what to do but the more i want him the more I feel he slips away. He feels one thing one minute but then an hour later I feel like he changes his mind. This roller coaster ride is making me crzy. I am patient with him and I try to give him his space but that doesn’t seem to work either. Im truly lost because he is such a great guy. Are all taurus men the same??? seems that way. Every time I ask him to talk about it he doesn’t know what to say. But last week I thought everything was great. We don’t always talk on the phone but when we see eachother its awesome. Somehow I feel like i shouldn’t give up on this just yet……I know there is something there just by the way he looks at me. I try not to push him because the more I do that the worse it is. But being a Leo woman I am very agressive WANT TO KNOW NOW kinda person. But since I know my nature as a leo I have compromised and let down my guard for this guy. He doesn’t want a relationship but still is attracted to me and wants me. I wish he would make up his mind instead of playing me for a fool. Cuz i am that fool that will wait for this great guy!

  31. #31 by Taurus girl on May 1, 2009 - 6:22 pm

    Frustrated Girl,

    You just have to wait it out! because he does not know what he wants right now, believe me. Dont pressure him you have to act like your not interested, and make him chase you.

    Taurus are very moody, and like to be bothered at his/her own time. Just remember, if he didnt want you, he would have left a long time ago, he is worth the wait. its the gettitng there that becomes so hard.

    Get busy, find things that will keep you occupied. because he will drive you nuts with his roller coaster swings. I am involved with a Taurus man and he drives me crazy, but at the same time, I understand him because i dont like it when guys pressure me, I come around when I am ready. and it may take a long time before he trust you, he needs to feel comfortable with you before he gives you his heart.

    so just sit back and enjoy the RIDE!

  32. #32 by jess on May 2, 2009 - 5:29 pm

    Thanks Taurus girl.

    I dont see him wear any jewelry at all so not sure if he would like any on him even as a gift. This guy is very strange he only wear white tshirt and black trousers!!! I mean he really only wear this as if its his uniform. I saw his photos of 5 years ago exactly on his black n white uniform!!! so i can cut out the choice about cloths because I’m sure he is not going to wear anything other than his uniform…and I’m not going to give him one more set.

    His birtday is on 16 of May which is approahcing. But this taurus can be just a pain in the butt sometimes. Today I text him to complain about he not contacting me for few days he replied in mail saying sorry and that he tried to adjust since we cant be together so often so he thinks its no need to think too much of me… but know that he always happy to see me and want to see me everytime it is possible…. I’m just speechless.

    I cant think of a perfect gift for such an arrogant with a sharp tounge, isolated and worlaholic taurus than a kick in the butt… (but a kiss on the cute face after)

    But the fact that he gaves me a limited edition of the classic chanel no5 perfume (even i dont really like the smell) it tells me this guy got taste so i want to give him something classy but also useful. Thanks in advance for any help but if I cant find anything better I will stick with the electric shaver (atleast if he hate it he can put it as decorative item a face vibrator…)

  33. #33 by jess on May 2, 2009 - 5:44 pm

    Frustrated girl,

    One of my bestfriends is a Leo girl so I know how aggressive and hot tempered you guys are. But try to take it easy and slow.

    You really cant push the Taurs. I remember when I first get to know my taurus he also told me he doesnt expect anything with me. He just like the way things go and how it feels hanging out with me (i dont know how he can call it hanging out when we only see each other once in 2 weeks and never talked on the phone just 1 text every other day…) He never even mentioned anything about relationship but i know taurus guy (at least this guy) dont really care to have more friends as he is satisfied with a very few but quality friends he already has. Months passed by and now its 5 months he started telling me more his feeling yet never slipped out the L word. I doubt if he ever felt it to anyone and if he would ever feel it with me. I hope I have all the patient to wait to find out…

    So if the taurus guys still hang around it means he wants to have something with you but he will need time to feel what it is he wants.

    Like Taurus girl said get busy with your own thing, sit back and enjoy the ride ๐Ÿ˜‰

  34. #34 by catlover on May 4, 2009 - 3:50 pm

    hi

  35. #35 by saggi girl on May 4, 2009 - 4:07 pm

    hi, everyone, wow, i am not surprised that everyone felt the same way about taurus guy as i am one of you guys. i have been seeing this guy for over a year and we became boyfriend and girlfriend after 2 months as i am a really into title person for what you are going to do, it has to match up with the title. so he gave me the title after 2 months while he was asking me if i would be ok if things did not work out. He approached me on the street and finally got my phone number but you are not gonna belive that he finanlly asked me out after over 1 month talking over the phone. but make the story short, i broke up with him after he gave me the title as girlfriend as he drives me crazy, well if i have found this site earlier, maybe i wouldn’t have done that to him. anyway, we got back together, seeing each other every week, he called me every other day to make sure i am safe and ok. Taurus man does have a protective side of the one he cares about, when i asked for the title back, he refused to do it. he said that he only wanted to give me the title back when things are stable. i don’t understand what he means stable, argument and fight are inevitable right? i totally lost, well, i just wanted to let you guys know that he did say he loves me but also told me that he is not ready for commitment. so, i dumped him and got him back, God, it happened a few times, i do not even remember. Those taurus man are the pain in my ass and huge pain i never expected. My case is little bit different, he is seperating from his wife for over 2 years and will get a divorce this year, his birthday is approaching in a few days. i saw him yesterday and i cooked the meal for him and he spent 3 hours at my place as it is the only day he is off. he has to go home to do the laundry or get ready to work as he is having a new job. He called me on the same night to say good night, but still thinking about the meal i did for him over and over again, Taurus man did love eating, so i think if you are a good cook can win some point, but i don’t know if it will work on the commitment issue that we all are waiting for. I don’t know, they are like that, one time you feel they love you, the other time you doubt it. so, i just wanted to let you guys know not to feel bad about what you have, me? like over a year dating and still did not get the commitment yet. you are not alone, but i think it is good to share the experience here, since we are all dealing with the pain in the ass…….. I think it would be nice if someone has some positive experience like married to one or engaged to one, so we can have some tips, you know……

  36. #36 by jess on May 5, 2009 - 1:42 pm

    To update my situation, I just decided tonight I will stop seeing my Taurus date now, after I text him that I felt bad for him not sending any contact for almost a week and he text back and told me to meet but he failed to do that 2 times now. Tonight we suppoed to meet and it was him to ask to meet fast. I realized now he only ask to see me on his own convenience without making an effort when I wanted to see him. I guess it will be a problem in the long future so better I break it off now that letting time pass by too long to get hurt in the future.

    Now that I already bought a gift for his coming soon birthday (I shouldnt have bought it too soon…damn the 10% off) now I doubt how I will give it him or may be give it to one of my friends instead.

    Also I dont know how I will tell him all the reason for me to stop with him, may be do it in email since his life is all about on the computer almost 24/7.

    Will keep you update (if you dont get bored yet)

  37. #37 by saggi girl on May 5, 2009 - 2:51 pm

    wow, you are a very decisive girl, i admire that. i tried to do that for a few times but it always ended up forgiving him by going back to him. it sounds so familiar with my situation with him whenever we decided to see each other. Most of the time is on his term, i do not know if it is the typical for taurus or they are just not that into us. I think someone will need to share with us…..

  38. #38 by jess on May 5, 2009 - 3:48 pm

    Yeah just like yours, most of the time (actually every time) is on his term and I already gone out of my way giving in as much as possible and I have the same doubt if its anything to do with Taurus or he is just not that into me… so now i’m giving up.

    But consider his lifestyle and his personality I’m sure if I continue to stick with him I’ll have to put up with this for the rest of our course… which he even said it himself that he is sure this is not the last time he made me feel bad…

    Believe it or not he never called me, claimed that he hates talking on the phone and that he almost never called his mom (only chat from computer) why would he call me… yeah sounds arrogant i know.

    I’m an Aries, I’m very sensitive by nature. Now that I cant talk to him on the phone, used to get a text message like 1 message everyday but now only 1 every other day… and we never chat since he think chatting is a waste of (his working) time. And now that we only see each other less than 1 time a week. You tell me seems there is no way for me to reach out to him when i need! what good is a deal! I know he is super busy (i’m smart enough to find a way to trace his movement;-)) but if he is happy and enjoy living his bull(shit) world then i better leave him alone than get myself crazy from time to time…

    Wish me luck!

  39. #39 by saggi girl on May 5, 2009 - 8:24 pm

    yeah, you are right. let me know how it turns out when you tell him your decision. mine does call every other day but does not like to talk much over the phone, it normally 15 minutes, but he did tell me that he does not like to text, so i text him a few times but he only text back when he was needed. I have noticed that he does not text back when he receive the text message from anyone including from his sister. so, yours does text. so, they are so weird, right? never be normal, or maybe they are happened to be the abnormal one that we happened to meet. wish you good luck and keep me posted….

  40. #40 by Taurus girl on May 7, 2009 - 4:58 pm

    Jess,

    The only reason that your Taurus does things on his term is because he has to be in control of the relationship, Taurus is control freaks. He will not always be this way, but you canโ€™t keep breaking it off with him unless you really mean it, because Taurus like stability, although he may not want a committed relationship at this point, he will at his own time.

    He has to be able to trust you, and start looking at this relationship different, if you act as if you doesnโ€™t care, watch how he acts. I am a Taurus; believe me, once we think that a person is crazy over us, we than pull back. Or if we feel as if things are moving to fast, we slow it down, by not answering your text, or phone call.

    if you text him and he doesnโ€™t text back, donโ€™t blow up, act as if it doesnโ€™t bother you, i know it sounds weird and crazy, but Taurus men act as if they are bipolar. You canโ€™t think rational with them in the beginning, and your relationship is still new. He doesnโ€™t know if he wants to be your friend or you man, he is confused because Taurus men are slow to show their feelings, and once he does you will be chasing him away with a stick, he will not let you breath, Taurus men are very possessive.

  41. #41 by Jess on May 8, 2009 - 5:00 am

    @Taurus girl, really appreciate your contribution!

    He always text/email back (but takes him hours to do so…) but what annoys me most is the fact that I cant reach out to him when I need him. What a ridiculous rule: he told me to misscall when i send him email, we use text to arrange meetings and when any of us arrive first we misscall… so phone is for text and misscall… I never met anyone like this (and I doubt if this is just a rule for me as he might already have a gf and secretly see me I dont know) and I tried to act like I dont care to find out and dont care the facts that his weird things bother me but believe me as an Aries who love being active and going forward all the way, its just so hard.

    Once I had a hard time and couldnt reach him I text him what can i do, he replied if I dont abuse the system he can use msn to chat sometimes if it helps and if we cant meet, i just have to ask him… i was speechless!!! why so many conditions?! and i even have to ask!!

    What is it about the Taurus needing to feel the trust first to be able to move forward, while sending all those mixed signal, not to mention about trust but we doubt if he is playing us or what! Trust should be reciprocated.

    I know its very difficult (if not impossible) for a Taurus to change but would you never compromise?

    Not just Taurus wont change but you want to change the other. He tries to push me, to break my wall (that is what he comes up with a term I didnt even know I have a wall…) to convince me to his term…. I told him it is about respect and he said there is no such thing, respect is bullshit… if we are seeing each other we need to be very comfortable to each other. yeah but he keeps acting bipolar I doubt where is my comfortable zone…

    Sorry for a long ranting, see how a Taurus drive me crazy!

  42. #42 by iamgladiamwhoiam on May 8, 2009 - 6:10 am

    Virgo from March 20th. (Above) I am going through the same thing except he says he misses me and enjoys being with me. He also said that every time he has feelings, he runs away. Sounds like yours is being truthful with you, Virgo. Don’t let him play the games and forget about him. Tauruses don’t usually lie about their feelings. Don’t let him use you! They are too difficult for me so I’m gonna have to bounce. Good luck all of you patient/ Taurus lovers. ๐Ÿ™‚ I was already married to one, I’ve had my share!! Except my ex husband didn’t play games with me. He did ditch me on our first date but I called him and yelled at him….lol. I guess he liked that.

  43. #43 by saggi girl on May 8, 2009 - 2:21 pm

    i am saggi girl and i don’t have patience, but this relationship really tested my patience, see, i am still hanging here stupidly but it almost run out. yesterday was his birthday, we did not see each other as he needed to work and will get off very late, when he called me the day before yesterday, he was telling me that he might go for a beer with his boss after work. I was little jealous and joking that i can not believe that you go with your boss instead of me on your birthday and he is laughing and saying that it is just a beer and we will make up some other day. and also asked me why i always put myself in his schedule everytime when he does something. It will make him nervous. then i told him it is because he is important to me, he said ” yeah, by making me feel guilty”. Jesus, i didn’t get it. so, he told me that either he call me or i call him on his birthday, which was yesterday. he told me that he will probably by home at 9:15pm. so, i called him but he did not anwer, he called me back 10 minutes later and sounds very tired and moody. i do not know why. i asked if he went with his boss, he said that he did not as some work issue got in the way and they will make it up another time but everyone at work wish him happy birthday. He sounds very moody and i do not know why. he was telling me that it is not easy job to do and he talked to his dad but his dad stressed out too because of his work. his mom did not call him and he will call his mom on mother’s day and also has to make a trip to see her ( her mom is not in good shape). so, I just want to cheer him up by saying something he might like, so i asked what does he do at his work as it is always interesting to me, He went like” why you have some many questions, i don’t want to talk about it, what do you want to know?’, i was like” well, i am just interested in your job and want to know how you do it, that is it”. i don’t know why he became so defensive and very moody. then he briefly explained a little bit, so, i told him to go to sleep as he sounds very tired. he said that he is. so, he gave me the kiss-good-night over the phone and told me that he will call me on Saturday if we don’t talk on friday( he might go out for a beer with his boss). i said ok, we hung it up. Jesus, everone told me that they are very manly but is it the characteristic of being manly. sorry for naging here but i am just tired of all these moody bullshit. I thought being moody is supposed to be the patent of woman. could anyone happily married with taurus tell me what to do?

  44. #44 by Taurus girl on May 8, 2009 - 3:32 pm

    SaggI Girl,

    Taurus are very moody, especially when there is a lot going on, and because you are a Sagittarius you are very laid back and easy going, you want the attention from the Taurus, but because of your lack of patience it can tend to come across as being pushy. It sounds like he is into you, but once again, Taurus man like to take it very slow, its because Taurus over analyzed everything, he has to take extra steps before giving you all of him, anything that you have told him about yourself , believe me, has analyzed it. We literally do, we have a hard tuff exterior but we are very loving and are very sensitive to the core, so he must make sure that you are the one that he can spend his time with, Taurus take relationships very serious,

    He sounds as if he has a lot going on, and all you can do is be there as a friend, donโ€™t expect anything from him, and try not to sound disappointed when he doesnโ€™t call, he will take that as you trying to control him. I know this sounds a little crazy, but I am so familiar with the Taurus characteristics because I am born under that same sign And I have been told by every man that I have ever dated that I am a HAND FULL!!!

    So just do your own thing, try calling him once in a while and act as if you got so much going on. Sound up beat. If you are interested in sticking around you have to make yourself busy. My Taurus man drove me crazy for the first 6months, until I started analyzing him, his moods swings, You can tell when the Taurus is in a bad mood, he really want have to much to say, but when heโ€™s feeling good you cant get him to stop talking.(smile)..

    Just pay attention to his actions. And once he feels like he is getting close to you, he will pull away, because he has to be in control, even his feelings, up until he cant take it any more. And he is very honest about his feelings if he was opposed the question.

    Just relax and try not to look to deep into it, he likes you. He is going through a lot he will come around, he is born under the Month of MAY, may Taurus are different than April, he has more a mixture of the Gemini characteristics because of the date I was born the 18th of May, so believe me, if he was not interested, you would have been gone a long, long, long time ago, because Women flock to himโ€ฆ

  45. #45 by Taurus girl on May 8, 2009 - 3:41 pm

    JESS,

    My Taurus man did the same thing to me in the beginning, and I used to go off on him, and he would act even worse, wouldnโ€™t answer text, email, phone, nothing until he was ready, it literally drove me crazy. Until I started analyzing him, I turned it around on him, if I called and he didnโ€™t answer the first time, I wouldnโ€™t call again, and if and when he called me back, guess what? Yep, I wouldnโ€™t answer. I would wait until two days later to call again, and I wouldnโ€™t mention that I called you and you didnโ€™t pick up. It was crazy in the beginning, but I got it under control, were if I call him and he cant answer right away he will call later on to say โ€œwhatโ€™s Upโ€..

    And I doubt it if he has a girl and didnโ€™t tell you the truth, Taurus men are very straight forward, sometimes to straight forward,

    But remember, who wants a relationship that you didnโ€™t have to work at, anything quick and easy donโ€™t last, Yes he is a lot of work, but if you feel that you donโ€™t have the patience and that it is not worth your time, yes leave. Donโ€™t stick around and get hurt, move on.

    Taurus are always misunderstood, because we donโ€™t let our true self be known until a year later, or when the wall has been broken.

    I wish you all the best!!

  46. #46 by saggi girl on May 8, 2009 - 4:11 pm

    hi, Taurus girl,

    Thank you so much for your help and i am so glad that we got you here. yeah, you are right and i have to analyze the situation when i deal with him, which would be better for me as i always act on my emotion, which i can see it is hard for him to deal with. i cried a few times over the phone when there is an occasion i felt that i was being ignored. so, he turned into very soft man that i wanted and tried to give me attention by texing me one time to see if i did well with my test( i suggested him when i cried over the phone to text me sometime to let me know he is thinking of me even though he does not call me on the day), so he did it but a few days later everything was back to normal. Taurus girl, how often do you talk to your guy? as mine just call every other day before he go to bed to say good night . he does not like to talk long only 10-15 minutes, sometimes, only 5 minutes….

  47. #47 by FabLibra on May 9, 2009 - 6:28 am

    HELP!!!

    OMG….Ive been reading the posts and everyone is so on point with the Taurus man. I am going through the same exact thing as most of you are.

    Ive been seeing my Taurus for about 4months. In the beg he was HOT & HEAVY over me! I wasnt really that interested at first. Hed call some mornings just so he’d be the first person I talked to, hed txted just to say hey, he’d sneak and call me while he was at work (he does overnight shifts) we communicated alot. He was so sweet, that he swept me right off my Libra toes. Then this second full-time job came about. Thats when it ALL changed.

    No more phone calls, no more txts. We’d make plans..he wouldnt show up. Now Im the one calling, txting, trying to reach out to him, trying to let him know Im here. He doesnt have time for me. I feel like im pushing to hard, but he will NOT budge. When I ask to many questions he shut dwn. He answers when hes ready! And as a Libra, my ego is very bruised. Im thinking how come he’s not falling at my feet?

    He keeps telling me he likes me..so that give me hope. Hes the type that likes a lady lady. No loudness, no cursing…basically know your role. So yelling at him does me no good..it pushes him further. Weve gotten into a couple of disagreements over my tongue. He wont yell back..he wont fight..he IGNORES me, and that is the worst. Eventually he forgives me..he says only because he likes me. Otherwise he wouldnt go for it. IDK what to do at this point. I feel like Im competing with this sec job. Hes so mean and snappy now. I knw he works 24/7..but I feel like he takes it out on me. I ask him if he wants me to leave him alone..he says No. But I keeping asking myself am I just here for decoration..someone he keeps in the back of his mind? Because there is almost NO contact now. I feel like if I dont txt or call…I’d be waiting forever to hear from him!

    When will it be our time..when will I knw hes ready??? I know they have to make up in their minds about the girls that they like. But what else can I do to prove to him that Im ready..and he can trust me? Im so ready for this guy to sweep me off my feet again, and make me his forever. When were together the chemistry is so right. He is such a man. The first night we shared was heaven..he held me the entire night. I was thinking my god…where did this man come from? I am intrigued by him..so I think i can be patient a lil while longer..but will this be in vain?

  48. #48 by Jess on May 9, 2009 - 6:42 pm

    @FabLibra,

    I been dating my taurus for 5 months now and going thru the same thing (but mine is worse because we never talked at all on the phone! and the text used to be 1 message everyday but now 1 or 2 every other day…) Mine also work 24/7 I even doubt may be he works 48/14?? (if there is such thing) and one thing I can tell you from my little experience with Taurus, dont push him or you will push him away. Try to make him want to push you instead. Like Taurus girls suggest: act like it doesnt bother you, get yourself busy with your own things. I know it’s hard to practice but it works (I say this but I dont know how long I can keep doing this)

    Since I really hate fighting as much as I dislike the feeling that I have to push the other. So what I do is trying (ie pretending) to act cool like this never bother me. This might sound crazy but I can feel the more he opens up his feelings to me the less contact (on text) we have but we see each other more but then that lure me wanting to see him even more. So when he withdraw his contact, its now that it starts to annoy me. I told him right out and that is when he finds it’s surprised that I feel that way, he even said he never knew I think so much (excuse me? what?? me think so much? you dont contact me at all for almost a week and you say I think so much?!….)

    To update everyone, today out of the blue my taurus text me that he feels down feel like he failed, said may be he works too much and he wants to see me…. well, how can i say no?!

    So i went to see him and yeah you all can guess how it’s like spending time with a taurus. This time it surprises me because he suggested I should add him to chat on MSN!!! That was a big WOW. Yet, when I told him I’ll be on a trip to a beach with my gfs next weekend then he seriously asked me if its ok for me and my gfs if he wants to join us (even bigger WOW!!!) Really I was stunned.

    Is this normal? does this happen when a taurus doesnt sleep enough and get weak and emotional?

    But he also said something strange tonight, that he never keep friends with any ex but he likes me and think I’m interesting so if i found someone I like to have sex with I can tell him and he thinks he still want to have me as a friend as a person so i will never be a stranger to him… well I dont really like it the way he sounds, like he doesnt care… I dont know. And we never talked if we are dating exclusively so now that he mentioned that it just put me off from asking anything further.

    @Taurus girl,

    again thanks so much for your advice. You does help! Now I’m back on the ride, dont know what my taurus is playing trick or what this time.

    Will keep you guys update.
    Good luck to all you bull fighter!

  49. #49 by saggi girl on May 9, 2009 - 11:42 pm

    Fablibra,

    your situation is similar to mine at the beginning, and i have been dating with him for over a year and a lot longer than you and we are still not official yet. He does not see anyone else and does not want me to see anyone else. he told me that he has not made up his mind yet. Taurus man does take a very very very long time to decide but you have to tell him upfront about what you wanted out of this relationship and you are serious with him and you are not sleeping around but at the same time, you have to be prepared that nothing will be changed after the talk but at least he knows what you are thinking. Mine does ignore me sometime and also shut down when i asked him too many questions, so he told me to get out of my head and enjoy the time with him when he is with me. Also, sometimes, he was telling me to not worry too much and take it easy on myself and on him, otherwise, it makes him nervous. Let me tell you one thing, i do not think they are lying when they said that they are not ready to commit, as I asked for the commitment back one time after i broke up with him, he kept asking me why i broke up with him in the first place( if the same reason still exist, he won’t give me the commitment), so time went on, i moved into a new place and cooked a nice meal for him and he really saw a new side of me which kind of surprised him totally, i asked for the commitment( he is separating from his wife for 2 years now), he told me that his biggest struggle has been is if he is really for a relationship, then he told me he is ready, then a day goes on, i do not know what i did, he backed off and told me that he is not 100% sure that he is ready, then i broke off with him and 30 minutes later, he left me a very depressive message and sounds very sad and also crying…. so, I don’t think they are playing game because they are afraid of being hurt, so they won’t give their heart fully unless they are fully sure that you won’t hurt them…

    i just hope you good luck and sometimes, we do need to get out of our head and keep busy and dating someone else on the side.

    good luck and take care.

  50. #50 by FabLibra on May 10, 2009 - 1:48 am

    Jess and Saggi Girl,

    Do you guys ever want to just give up and walk away?

    I think about it all the time, but then I think that someone might come and take my place and he may make her his girl. As a Libra I am in love with being in love..I live for the moment that my Bull will make up in his mind that I am the one. So thats why I dont give up. Even though they say Libra and Tauruses arent meant to be…I think there are some exceptions to that rule. I can adapt to any situation. He makes me want to change. Then on the other hand Im like My god this man drives me nuts…Im outta here!

    I havent gave backing off a try…if I do will he come back looking for me? I dont want to start playing these games and have him gone forever.He knocks my scales all off balance…LOL!

  51. #51 by Jess on May 10, 2009 - 2:18 am

    FabLibra,

    I cant count enough times I was about to give up on him!!! But he always pull it back just right by a whisker!

    DONT play game with Taurus!!! “if you fuck with me I fuck you more”, this is atleast my taurus motto. Taurus can appear to be like ignorant or take thing for granted but he is not, he actually gather all the details. He just act like he doesnt notice but believe it he does more than just notice it!!! Taurus has an incredibly good sense of smell, this also means he can smell shit or mind game out of you if you try to apply it to him.

    When we told you to act/pretend like you dont care we dont mean to pull back off. Dealing with a bull, you need a lot i mean REALLY A LOT patient (if you dont have it enought, you really need to work on it if you really want to be with him). And dont make yourself too available. Just try to keep busy with your own time your own things. Yeah it could sound a bit like playing game but dont make it look like you are playing game (crazy huh) because that could send him a wrong message that you are being insecure which means no trust which you know its important for Taurus to know that he can trust you.

    I’m sure if you can stick around you will know more of the way to put up with him.

    Best of luck!

  52. #52 by 2nd Saggi girl on May 10, 2009 - 6:22 am

    I m another saggi girl in despair over a taurus guy. can’t say how i got involved with him in the first place. I was trying to get over my LEO flame of 16 years and it was’nt easy. I have known this taurus guy for 3 yrs now but nothing sentimental as he is a married man and very much resposponsible towards his family. But somehow we got involved i knew from the onset that nothing serious could ever come out of it and neither did i want to enter a serious relationship with anybody. I was just thankful for a diversion from my leo.
    But now that i know this guy more intimatley I have begun to care more for him than i liked. I cook for him whenever he wants to come over. But what intrigues me is what he thinks of me. How he looks at me and what i m to him. The famous moods and disappearing phases are there but I feel he cares for me. I have not allowed him to cross the final line yet but cuddling and prolonged kisses are there. I fear its the promise of final limit that brings him back to me and once i give in to his demands he will stop seeing me altogether.
    Another thing that worries me is that when he is being intimate with me I more often than not end up spilling tears for no reason at all. Do u think my tears will disturb his sense of well being and he will be repulsed by my tears + setting limits.
    Plz somebody help me understand, I do’nt want any commitments from him i just want to undertsand what i am to him?

  53. #53 by lionsroar on May 10, 2009 - 5:00 pm

    Oh my so glad to research this site. I am a Leo in every sense. The man I am seeing is a Bull. And after reading this in EVERY sense. WTF? I am suppose to be the dramatic one, he is blowing me out of the water. We are both adults, been through relationships. I am going through what everyone else has written about. On 4 months and so ready to take my pride and get the hell out of dodge. What gives? Although some of you have way more communication than I do. I get a text out of the blue (phone calls are RARE!)…do you want to do something tonight?. Then I get nothing. I do not check up on him, nor am I chasing him. However, I think after reading this I am making one mistake. He will send me a half ass text.. “I got no plans tonight, do you want to do something or come over?”. Every damn time I have shown up. Yes because he is wonderful, but I’m pissed at myself for being available. But I make myself available because I do not want to miss out on the night. He has slipped a few times and given me wonderful compliments..usually when we are intimate. Other than those moments..Nothing. I feel like I am on a business dinner or interview. Egads! And is this really normal….basically the several dates are at his house..pizza a movie, sitting outside, not always intimate either.. It’s like the more we chat, the more we retreat to his cave. I am calling him the Man in the bubble. Is this a good sign? There is no talk of being a couple, no deep conversation… some nights its like we’ve been together 40 years and he is just so relaxed and BOARING.. Is this yet another Taurus test? Anyone else have this kind of bull they are trying to ride? Oh yah and some nights there is cuddling on the couch, other nights nothing.. Honestly I dont know how to read him, so being the Lion I am, I ignore him..

  54. #54 by saggi girl on May 10, 2009 - 7:18 pm

    hi all,

    i just wanted to update my situation which happened today, hopefully it will help all of you still hanging there to wish something deeper will happen.

    he called me last night and we chit chat a little bit and then i got comfortable. we normally see each other every sunday, before he took this new job, we spent a whole day together, but right now, after he took this new job, we only spent a few hours on sunday, like last sunday we spent 3 hours together.my history with him is alwasy i am pushing for commitment back and forth and he kept telling me that he is not ready, somehow, i mentioned this last night and asked him if he loves me( he said he did before), he refused to answer and told me that he know i am targeting for the commitment by this question, he said that he cared about me deeply and missed me and also felt very strong about me. but he refused to answer my question. He also told me that sunday will be in question but he will try and will call me by noon as usual to see if we will meet, so, i asked him if we could reschedule next week. then he asked me why i asked him this question, i don’t really know what he meant by this(why i asked him or why i can not meet with him this sunday), so i confused a little bit and kept saying that i want to know if it is possible to reschedule, he went mad and told me that he is a simple man, just tell him why i can not meet, then i understand he is asking this, so i told him why. anyway, make the story short, since he refused to answer my question, i was not happy, he kissed me good night over the phone as usual, asked if i could give him too. i said no, then we hung up. so, he called him this noon, told me that he needed to do something and also need to get ready for his tomorrow. he will call me tonight when he gets home and asked me to concentrate on studying. he does not mention anything happened last night. so, i mentioned the same question again, then he raised his voice and told me that he can not deal with that all the time and he said that he kept telling me that he is not ready but i am still asking, so I insisted saying that i am not asking for commitment, he said that i am. i also said that i understand you do not want to talk about it, but i just hope he understand my point to want to know if a guy i am dating for over a year if he loves me or not. it is a very simple question, the answer it either yes or no. then he raised his voice again said, you just want to push, so listen, ” i do not love you, i am sorry, i care deeply about you but i do not love you”. so i said thank you for being honest, that is all i want to know, so he said” just concentrate on study and i will call you later.” Jesus, everyone, that is my story, it is so sad, right? staying with a guy over a year, at the end, he told you that he does not love you….., i just do not understand why he told me that he loves me before, why he lied before? anyone who is taurus man or anyone knows to tell me what to do? i guess i need to walk away…….

  55. #55 by saggi girl on May 10, 2009 - 7:24 pm

    FabLibra,

    hi, i guess that i need to walk away this time, yeah, for answering your question, i want to walk away through the whole course, but i think the problem about us is that we always think there is a hope, what if, what if, right? i do not know, i am not in a position to give any suggestion, but i think i need to walk away now… especially after he told you that he does not love you….

    what a shame..

  56. #56 by FabLibra on May 11, 2009 - 2:59 am

    Saggi Girl,

    I totally understand your frustration and I think this point maybe it is time to walk away.

    At least you have some type of idea how he feels, even though its not what you wanted to hear, mayb its what you needed to hear. At this point thats all I want my Taurus guy to tell me. I need for him to tell me this is not what he wants, or he is not ready for committment, or simply he dont want to be with me and I shouldnt keep hanging on to hope. Thats what I NEED to move on. It would bother me, but I wouldnt be hurt because I dont have as much time invested as you do.

    I cried most of the day today because its Mothers Day, and I lost my mom a yr and half ago, and my dad 2months ago. So Im pretty much alone, and he knows this…but he wouldnt even pick up the phone to say hey…are you ok today? I think its pretty f’d up. But then I think about it he NEVER calls. He doesnt reach out, the more questions I ask the more he IGNORES me. So I asked myself today…if I stop calling him will he notice…or will he even CARE???

    I have asked him time and time again…please tell me what do you want me to do. He IGNORES me. Like is this really a Taurus being a Taurus or an Asshole…being an Asshole? He is just so MEAN now. I feel like he just dont want me in his life and that whatever I decide to do he could care less.

    My friends are so tired of listening to me, as they have no more advice left for me. They all think he is the biggest jerk ever. But I keep thinking…OMG he was not like this before. Is it the second job? Why this studden change. Im so CONFUSED I just want to scream! Im almost afraid to txt him again because Im pretty sure he’ll IGNORE whatever I ask.

    Im so OVER this!

  57. #57 by Jess on May 11, 2009 - 4:40 am

    saggi girl,

    I’m sorry to hear about the situation you are having with your taurus now.

    As I dont know how your relationship have been but I know this: taurus is very very very logic and objective type of person. Even I think he cares for you from what I read about him calling you and caring for you to focus on your study and still trying to make a plan to meet. And what a taurus said when he is forced to say thing he not sure or not ready to say yet, i dont know if you should take his answer as a final answer.

    But all in all its up to you if you feel its just too much and you cant handle the madness with him anymore (because you know taurus will not change)

    You have my best wishes and please update us your situation.

  58. #58 by Jess on May 11, 2009 - 4:52 am

    FabLibra,

    Sorry for the lost of your parents, I wish I could find a word to comfort you but please dont feel too sad. Things happend for a reason and atleast for you to be stronger. If you dont find anyone to turn to, you need to find back to yourself first and get some peace inside of you.

    Just ignore the Taurus now. I know what you mean. Its ironic but I actually said exactly the same thing to my taurus one time when he made me cry. I told him I dont know if he is just having bipolar effect or he is simply an asshole! I told him it would never worked fpr is because I’m too sensitive and caring while he is just insensitive and mean and selfish.

    My taurus NEVER call me at all. Not to mention how he can be there in time I need him. I text him when my problem was over that he was never there for me. He simply reply he didnt understand what I mean but its ok as long as I’m better now….. I was speechless.

    I still think about the issue of how we are going to have any kind of meaninful and promising relationship at all when I cant find a way to reach out and to find that he is never there for me. I know this issue will get back to hit me again one day soon.

    I hope you feel better that atleast there are others out there who share the same problem and those who even got the worse problems.

    Be strong.

  59. #59 by Jess on May 11, 2009 - 5:34 am

    lionsroar,

    Not only he never called me, he never invited me to his place, never wanted to hang out with my bestfriends (eventhough he met couple of my bestfriends few times)…

  60. #60 by 2nd Saggi girl on May 11, 2009 - 12:22 pm

    I just realized he never asked me what i liked, i m the one always probing for his preferences, what he likes to eat?, what annoys him?, what music he likes? and all. And i actually tried preparing menus to his liking. But he never once asked me what i like? or what i do with my leisure time. Its been a week since i last saw him and not a single word so far. I m not msg-ing either.
    Did my tears mangled his comfort zone?

  61. #61 by saggi girl on May 11, 2009 - 2:15 pm

    hi, Jess,

    thank you so much for your concern and good wishes. I hope i am doing ok. I couldn’t concentrate on my study yesterday and how could i concentrate on study when someone riped your heart. i am sorry that i am not that insensitive maybe he can do that because he does not care. or maybe woman and man are different. i just do not know. This is not the first time he riped my heart but i am still stupid hanging here to wait for him for the 2nd stab in my heart. I remembered that there is a time, i got hurt after he told me that he is not ready for commitment and i walked away. and then we got back together, he saw me losing my weight and felt very sad asking me if he put me through hell and told me that he felt so sorry and he will be careful. sometimes, i hate myself and asked myself what i am waiting for and why i kept hurting myself. I need to love myself and make myself happy. I guess he is just a man who can not give you anything but to hurt people who loves him. He told me one time that he felt so guilty that he hurted his wife so so bad after she gave herself to him completely. so, his wife moved on with another man now and his wife told him that she can love anyone but him. i think i could imagine what he has done to her to make her say something like that back to him. I just do not know, Jess, if we all need to hang in here. Jess, i also want you to know that he never invited me to his place too, because he told me that his wife’s stuff is still there and all the picutes and her personal belongings are all there. he does not think it is approporiate for me to be there while her stuff was all over the place. his wife want to have this apartment after they divorce, they both agree on this. so she is waiting for him to move out and right now she is living with her boyfriend for 2 years already. I heard a few times when his wife called to ask him to move i guess she lost patience to wait. He told me that if he moves out and have his own place, i will be invited. so, i think you need to ask why you can not be invited to his place, maybe someone is there? i am saying that you need to be pushy but be cautious, if you know what i mean.I will keep you posted.

  62. #62 by saggi girl on May 11, 2009 - 2:28 pm

    FabLibra,

    hi, be strong. we are all here for you, it is not the end of the world. I told myself this morning to be strong and God will take care of us. I think we all need to live with our choices regardless. when our heart told us that it is the time to move on, i think we will move on happily. but right now, i think what we are having is the obsession about something we can not get, which makes us blindly fall in love. but do we really happy with them? do they make you happy? is that because of the happiness they gave us to make us to stay or becase of the obsession about something we can not get makes us to chanllenge our limit to stay? I think i need to find out the really deep though of myself toward all of this. He kept telling me that he wanted to make sure that he was doing the right thing for commitment, so what about us? don’t you think we need to do the same thing? to make sure that we are doing the right thing to stay? asked ourself why? what makes you to stay? love? Obsession? Obsession is always on way street, but love needs to be both ways, right? are we getting both way? I hope you are feeling better, i hope myself the same thing, i know it is easier said than done, but do not be afraid to try, at least try. I registerred with some dating services, i will see what will happen? i will keep you posted, and if you want to talk, you can email me at ” liangjian68@yahoo.com“. or posting here.

  63. #63 by Derin on May 12, 2009 - 7:21 pm

    I’m so glad I’ve found here.

    I may be jumping into conclusions too early (and I probably am… ) because I haven’t even started dating this Taurus man yet and I’ve seen him only once. Ok I know it sounds strange but we met on a blind date. I need to spew it all out here. He’s the friend of my friend’s brother. He’s 37 and I’m 32. He’s never been married and me neither. I’m a Virgo by the way. Anyway, as any virgo, I very rarely like someone and I haven’t been seeing anyone for a year. You can say I’m too picky but i don’t like being too picky :/ I don’t want to sound arrogant or anything but I am a very beautiful girl, everybody says so at least and if I really do like someone I’m mostly pretty sure that I’ll get him. Ok that sounded arrogant ๐Ÿ™‚

    Anyway, so this guy told my friend’s brother that he was not into blind dates so he didn’t really want it to be like a blind date, he wanted it to look casual. As if we met by coincidence you know. However, my friend of course couldn’t help it and she told me, so I knew. And of course he knew too but when we met in a cafe, we both tried to make it look like it was coincidence. So let me tell you about the scene: me and my friend, we are sitting at a cafe and then we see my friend’s brother and his friend and we try to act surprised just like they do. Well did it work? It seemed so ๐Ÿ™‚ Does it sound silly? Yeah it does, I know;p

    Anyway, we had quite a good time. He was an overall nice guy and better looking than I expected. We first had a few drinks and then had dinner. He’s into football, a fanatic I should say and I’m not at all but it’s ok. He loves animals etc. He asked me a few questions… the dialogues were natural and although he looked at me right in the eye while speaking, at other times I was aware that he couldn’t really look at me. Shy? Maybe. When we were ready to go to our separate homes he took me by his car to the place where I parked my own car , so I sat next to him. He asked me where exactly I lived and you know we had some small talk and a few laughs during that very short trip to the parking spot. Then, when I said that I didn’t really know how to go out onto the main road (I really didn’t!) he asked me to follow him by car. So I did that and as we were about to go to our separate ways, he rolled down his window at traffic lights and asked me if I’d be ok from then on. I said I could find my way home since I was on the main road now. He humorusly said he asked me because he felt responsible for me already! Now what to make of this?! Well I was a very happy girl driving back home. That night when I talked to my friend on the phone she said her brother asked our Taurus man what he thought of me and he was positive but he said he thought that I had known that I would have met him! And that he felt strange. And he could learn from me whether it is true or not on a second or third date. That’s a good sign. Well, it means that he wants to see me again. He said he would get my number from his friend and call me in a few days! Then of course he also asked him whether I liked him or not and my friend’s brother said “she is very positive” … now we first met last Wednesday. And he still haven’t called. I’ve been waiting , kind of impatiently, because he’s the first guy that I have really liked in a long time. Maybe he is shy or he doesn’t know what to say when he calls but he’s 37! Not a teenager… Can he be really that shy? Or I will start to think that he didn’t really like me but then why did he talk about a 2nd or 3rd date? I think maybe since we are supposed to have met casually, it will look strange if he calls?

    I’ve been reading about Taurus men online and try to get some idea but I’m feeling quite hopeless now. So can you please tell me what you are making of all this? Sorry this post has taken longer than I expected but I’m feeling kind of obsessed and hopeless, I also fear that I may lose interest… I shouldn’t be taking this too seriously but as I said it felt quite right when I met him and I was thinking he felt the same too. Can I be wrong?

  64. #64 by saggi girl on May 12, 2009 - 7:48 pm

    hi Derin,

    i think that it just takes time for him to call you, the one i met approached me on the street and asked for my phone number, but he did not called until a week later when i almost forgot such event. But do not expect too much, well, it is hard to say maybe whom we met are all the jerks out of those taurus group, but generally, do not expect too much and do not fall into love too quick as you will be hurt as they do not know what they wanted, well maybe like i said that your one maybe different. But remeber, do not give your heart before he gave her yours. that is the rule, because they are too complicated to understand, so once again, before they gave you the commitment, do not give your heart to him, otherwise, you will be ended up like us on this site with a broken heart……

    good luck.

  65. #65 by Derin on May 12, 2009 - 10:17 pm

    Thank you so much saggi girl,

    You have made me feel better. You’re right I shouldn’t fall in love, it’s too early but because I rarely find someone that I like , and when I find one I tend to rush in.

    So yours called a week later. Wow ok. Mine may be waiting for a week to pass too maybe… interesting people. If so, then they are very calculating. Ok I should be patient. I’ll probably see him again, because when we were sitting at the cafe my friend and her brother arranged a party in a pub for sometime towards the end of this month (where our Taurus celebrated his birthday before) right on the spot (they actually did it just so that you know we would see each other again) so this Taurus guy may as well wait till then to see me. It just makes me mad that he can wait for such a long time! Ok I’ll be patient. : ) And I won’t give my heart before he gives his.

    Thanks again for responding saggi girl,

    Good luck to you too!

  66. #66 by lionsroar on May 13, 2009 - 12:41 am

    Jess,
    Thanks for the reply, I’m even more confused. This bull of mine likes being in his own cave but the other night I was meeting a few friends for drinks afterwork, since it is near his house and figured he would see my car I told him. When I got there I kept my word sent him a text where I was, I also told him I had to leave at a certain time to give a friend a ride. He replied he’d come up ‘have a few drinks with me and my friends”. *Which he only met the one briefly. He said when I left he would go get something to eat. When he got there and it was time for me to leave he asked if I would be coming back up to meet my friends, I said Yes. “He stayed”.. My friends said he barely spoke two words. Total shy guy. When I returned he was Mr. Chatty. Back to his house, blah blah blah.. and up to today Nothing! This all happened Saturday night. What gives? Doesnt want to leave me alone, and PLEASE THIS IS A CORNER BAR.. OLD FOLKSVILLE, LOCALS! We are not talking a club, Gets me for the night and BAM! Nothing! I shouldnt say nothing, I did get a text Monay that he cut his grass?. WTF? Not Hi, How are you, Wanna get together.. just “cut my grass”. I replied back, “I’m sure your grass thanks you”… Ladies I am clueles. And yes we are both 40 something. EGADS!

  67. #67 by Jess on May 13, 2009 - 3:55 am

    hahahaha @ Lionsroar!

    Sorry for laughing! I couldnt help when i finish reading about ‘cut my grass’ text and the way you replied! (well if it was me I would have replied back ‘wanna cut my grass ๐Ÿ˜‰ But really this is so typical taurus (atleast with the one I’m dealing with now)

    Really I wish I know how to read them taurus people but I find it’s in vain to try reading them. I rather work on my patient as I know I will need extra more than normal to put up with him (if i choose to give it a try)

    Now my situation is calm but I know I’ll be looking forward to my next round for drama with my bull (I know its coming)

    Stay tight and enjoy the ride!

  68. #68 by Jess on May 13, 2009 - 4:09 am

    saggi girl,

    Thank you for your concern, I understand what you mean. I asked him at the begining when we start dating if he has a wife or gf or in any relationship which he said no and I will respect his answer but I know men can be a jerk and a complete liar regardless of zodiac sign. At my age and where I am at this point in life, I dont bother to dig in and find out if he is lying or not because it will show by itself in time.

    You sound like a young girl and you are not just dealing with a bull but a married one, this is tough. As he experienced failure from his first marriage, I think he will be very cautious the next time around. I can only tell you to take time and let things and him prove it. Dont put yourself too hard trying to figure the bull out. If you think its too much now (but you still wont give it all up) then step back and take it easy.

    Take care and keep us posted!

  69. #69 by Jess on May 13, 2009 - 4:47 am

    Derin,

    Welcome to the club ๐Ÿ˜‰

    A week of not calling sounds typical. Really please take it slow with your feeling for the Taurus. He will make such an incredible impression and take you higher when you are together but when you parted then you will see why we are here ranting lol ๐Ÿ˜‰

  70. #70 by saggi girl on May 13, 2009 - 2:51 pm

    hi everyone,

    i am glad to see the postings here from all of you and i like this site. It is like we got friends here. I finished the final test yesterday, it is not bad at all like i expected myself to get. I am a little released and at least one thing got right and one thing got off my shoulder…..Salute….

    hope all of you are doing well and i will keep you guys posted with any of my progress including dating with other people, so we can encourage one another. you know what, some though just came across, if someday any of us are married with the taurus guy we discussed about, we all should be invited to witness the final victory…. hehe.

    take care, Jess,Derin, Fablibra,lionsroar….

  71. #71 by Derin on May 13, 2009 - 4:11 pm

    Hello Jess,

    Thank you for the welcome ๐Ÿ˜‰

    If a week of not calling sounds typical, then I’m kinda relieved. ๐Ÿ™‚ However, I now really think that he won’t call me because he might be feeling awkward, you know. We were supposed to have a chance meeting (though we didn’t) and he can’t be sure whether I knew or not, so calling a girl that you met on a “chance meeting” may be strange… oh well. This thing he is doing, I mean passivity isn’t working. I’m even starting to forget his face, lol. I like man who go after what they want. I like a little shyness in men but this is kind of too much. In fact I like Taurus guys (my brother is taurus, an excellent husband and father) so I have always wanted to meet a Taurus man, and he is the first one I’ve met but now he’s not calling!!

    Anyways, you say “when we parted” , hope this never happens if we ever date, but first we have to meet again! lol

  72. #72 by Derin on May 13, 2009 - 4:15 pm

    saggi girl,

    nice to hear that you are feeling relieved. I know tests can put real strain on people. I need some time off too, from work, from everything.

    it’s really nice here, sharing ideas and helping each other out. yeah keep us updated and I will too ๐Ÿ™‚ and good idea , if we ever marry our guys, we will all invite one another to the wedding, lol!

    you take care too saggi girl.

    and nice to have met you.:)

  73. #73 by lionsroar on May 14, 2009 - 1:30 am

    Okay I really need a reply to this… tonight (Wednesday) a few of us stopped after work at a regular little pizza shop; pizza and beers. I did not mention it but he does work right near me and we travel the same roads.. Okay HE STOPS IN., yah .. hi ..glad to see you, blah blah, he eats, chats even plays the stupid video game all of “us girls” were playing. We were all done and ready to leave, him to. Does he walk me to my car? NO. Does he acknowledge me as someone he dates or sleeps with? NO. Does he flirt with any of the women there(no one knows we date) NO!. So we all leave together. I end up behind him on the freeway home, he calls my phone and sounds almost panicked… did I say something why are you driving this way home? I replied it is the fastest way home,. He says “okay” I tell him “hang up and dont crash” It was raining horribly. Figure that is the end, he THEN SEND ME A TEXT THAT HE IS “SAFE AT HOME BUT WET”… WTF!!! I replied “ditto” He totally could have invited me over, this was 6;30 PM!! Instead he was freaking out I was behing him and then he lets me know he is safe????? Ladies I think I need a real man, again we are over 40. Oh and I am sure I wil get a text on Saturday that says “I have nothing going on If you want to come over” I am so saying.. “busy”. He is leaving for Germany next Tuesday for 3 weeks, I am so not feeding the bull in his pasture this weekend… Totally pissed off tonight. Sorry to rant but this is just stupid.

  74. #74 by Jess on May 14, 2009 - 3:44 am

    Hi lionsroar,

    If It was me I would talk to him and ask him why he treat you the way he did when infront of friends. If you dont want to make it sound like pushing there is no need to question about your relationship status (4 months could be a bit too fast for Taurus to conclude what the relationship status is for him) But ask him directly and see how he reply, that would give you a subtle hint.

    As being straight forward is one of Taurus trait, I almost never asked my guy first about relationship. It was him who keep raising it up from time to time, eventhough he didnt say anything exactly about ‘relationship status’ like what we are at this stage. But he will tell me how he wants to take thing slow. I remember he even said it so clear that HE DOESNT HAVE ANY FUTURE PLAN ABOUT US, just enjoy our time and conversation and want to take thing as it comes. Also he NEVER have problem to give me any mean answer or say rude but the truth even knowing it would hurt my feeling.

    I think the facts that you always make yourself available for him and now that you seem ok (from how you talk on the phone with him when he call during the road) after he treat you indifferently in public, he might just take it as a sign that you accept and its ok. So if you dont like it you should talk to him so he gets a message that you dont appreciate it this way.

    Wish you the best!

  75. #75 by Jess on May 14, 2009 - 3:49 am

    Hey saggi girl!

    Your idea is awesome but really for me ‘marriage’ seem so so far away. I cant even call him as a boyfriend now. Oh well I even dont know what we are… lol

  76. #76 by saggi girl on May 14, 2009 - 7:49 pm

    hi lionsroar,

    Even though i am not in a position to tell you what to do, but based on my experience, you have to stand up for yourself. i remembered when we are dating at the initial stage, i made sure that i told him what i wanted, if he did something that i was not happy with, i will tell him. He will be careful next time, that is way he joked with me that i am his biggest pain in his ass. People gets to know each other at the initial stage where you need to let him know what you are not comfortable with, so that way he will know you better before both of emotions were too much involved.
    when i felt that i was being ignored, i would tell him that i was not happy about it. I remembered after we were dating 3 months, he was attending school temporarily for a class, he needs a lot of time to study, so he turned off his cell phone during the night, which bothered me a lot. so i told him next time he called that it bothered me a lot when he turned off his cell phone, then he understood it and kept his phone on after that. and also told me that he would need a lot of time to study and needed to concentrate, he told me not to be panic if he did not call. so, this way, we understood each other’s need and we were ok with it as i think if i did not let him know what i like and dislike at the beginning, how could he get to know me? it will be very dangerous when the emotion invested too much, then we found out that we are not for each other…. you know what i mean?

    for the titling thing like girlfriend and boyfriend, i think it would be too earlier to stress it as you are not dating long enough especially for Taurus guy, but i will ask him how you would introduce him to yourfriend, as a friend or a date? this way he will know that you know what you do, and you are seriously taking your time but not jump around with anyone without caring what you are getting, and also this way you will know who you are to him, and how much time you need to invest.

    My problem is that i made sure too much with each step i was with him, from official Girlfriend at the beginning to breakup to unofficial couple( i asked him one time who i am, he was telling me that pratically we are couple but not offical yet as he is not ready to be official), so i know what i am to him, what i was supposed to expect from him. this way you won’t hurt yourself for expecting something he is ready to give. at least, whom you are to him. I think they are very honest if they really cared about you, if they are not playing around with you.

    hopefully, it will help…..

  77. #77 by lionsroar on May 15, 2009 - 12:31 am

    Hi Saggi girl and Jess:

    Thank you both for sharing your experiences with me. I really like what you said Saggi Girl.. Ask him how should I introduce him. I think that will work. I really am not ready to be “that” serious myself. But I also, dont want to wait around for a weekend date when i am being asked by others. He is a wonderful person (so far) and I am prefer to date one person at a time. I think, for me that is, that is the fair thing to do, and that is what I would like out of any man dating me. Anyway.. Okay here’s todays update. I was not in the best of moods at work and he sends me a email. Typical dry humor.. nothing great, personal etc.. so I replied. “LOL”.. gotta run – have a great day. Which I did have to go I was late for a meeting. Well then I got totally blown away he called me on my cell phone to ask me if I wasnt busy would I like to got to dinner and a movie Saturday night. ! Okay.. this is an advance ‘invitation’, like really being asked out on a date. Then if that didnt trip me up enough, he said he knew I had plans to work around my home Friday but he figured I wouldnt be outside (yardwork) all night, and “If you are not tired, how about you meet me for something to eat, or I can order in and give you a back rub..figure you will need one”.. Okay ladies, YES I DID pull my cell phone away from my face and double check who I was talking to. Wow-Wow.. I said yes to Saturday night and I told him I am not sure the best I can do about Friday is call him when I am done and see how tired I am. I actually got some control here! Crazy.
    And I do plan on asking him exactly what is the best way for both of us to introduce the other to our friends. That should be interesting. Oh yes and he said he hoped I didnt mind him popping in the other night when I was with my friends, he saw my car and had nothing going on so he thought he’d stop. I so totally believe he was checking up on me!

  78. #78 by saggi girl on May 15, 2009 - 2:16 pm

    hi lionsroar,

    i am glad that you will have fun on Saturday night, good luck, enjoy the best of it.

    keep us posted….

  79. #79 by lionsroar on May 16, 2009 - 9:50 pm

    Hey Saggi girl…I will NOT have fun tonight (Saturday).. I just got a text a few hours ago here is what it said, “kinda tired, need to do some stuff around the house, ate to much and need a nap, did you still want to do something later?”…

    ahhhhhhhhh… after that text I really did not ‘feel’ like he really wanted to hang out so I replied, “sounds like you need some alone time, we can skip tonight, another time”..

    about an hour later he replies to my text with “well we can go out for a little, are you really hyped about going out”. So I replied, “not sure what I am going to do, might head out might not..enjoy your sleep”.

    He then replies well if you’re out and want to stop by, come over or I’ll be at the bar”.

    What in the hell just happened? I do not get it.. as soon as he shows 1 – 100th of a bit of emotion, interest – he takes it off the board. And obviously I read his email correct and cancelled.. then he all of the sudden flips it..
    I am not changing my mind. Again, first Taurus for me, been through a Gemini and Virgo.. none like this though.

    I cant tell if he wants to date or not. Totally throwing mixed signals. And I will be $20 I get a text tonight..Got my Laundry done” or something insane.

  80. #80 by FabLibra on May 16, 2009 - 11:16 pm

    Hi Ladies,

    I totally wish I could give advice but, I can only nod my head in agreement as I am still going through the same with my Bull.

    Thursday was the last time we had contact. It was a week b4 that. Of course I was the one who reached out. I totally feel like I want to just walk. Ive been feeling more like that lately. If only i could find the right words to say to him to get him to come see me so we could talk. Why is he avoiding me???? Im starting to feel hes just not that into me.

    I texted him thurs and said: “I hope I havent pushed you away. Ive been through alot. You make me want to be better” he replied “Thats whats up. How are you doing”

    That was IT. No im coming by or anything. I throw my hands up in defeat!!!

    We are young. Im 24, hes 26. Are younger Tauruses different from the older? You guys get alot more attention than I do.

  81. #81 by saggi girl on May 18, 2009 - 12:36 am

    hi lionsroar,

    it so pissed me off when i read it as i have no patience at all. i pictured what i would react if i were you, piss off, piss off, that is my reaction.

    it happened to me 2 times, after dating for 3 months, he wanted to reschedule next day at the last minute because of the road condition, i was so pissed off as i was waiting for him to pick me up. so, I screamed at him, he then showed not understanding why i was mad at him. Then the next day, he saw me, he asked me if he can punch my arm after i got in his car to vent his anger. i don’t know, i just so confused. I don’t know if they really do not understand woman or just pretend not feeling it. It seems that they are so damn lazy at some point; another time is when i was looking for apartment asking him to shop the furniture with me, he half agreed in the first place and then the next day, asked me if i have someone else to go with, if not, he can go with me, he told me that ” hi, you decide for me, i am in your hand now’. Bull shit, my first reaction is bull shit, so i told him that i was not gonna decide for you, if you wanna go then go, if you do not then say it, do not throw the bull shit, then i also said ” you know what right now, you do not need to go as you are a free man like a bird now”. Then he went with me next week even called in the morning to wake me up to go on time. well, i think we need to let them know what we are thinking and set some rule, i think they appreciated it. sometimes, we think that we need to make them comfortable by swallow the bitterness, but if we are pretending we are ok when we are not, he can see it. it is even worse. anyways, i guess this sign is not good for us, it killed my a few years of life…

    I am waiting for my next romance coming but it won’t be taurus, i think they deserve to be lonely( sorry, my bad)…., well, lionsroar, if you want to date him, you have to set a rule for him at the begining……do not be afraid… Keep me posted…

  82. #82 by saggi girl on May 18, 2009 - 1:00 am

    FabLibra,

    one thing that i do not understand why you do not call him to chat because i think the communication is very important. why you always text him, if i were you, i will just call him to tell him that i am not feeling well if he wants to go for a beer or something, you have to demand without fear. what you are afraid of, if he wants to go away just because you need his concern as a friend, then fuck him. it won’t do better for being shy with your own need. as this way, you will see if he cares or not.

    tell you my story, i had a fight with him one time over the commitment, then the next day we were supposed to see each other but we did not, he said that he wanted to do something himself, but i did not feel good, so i called hm and told him that i was not feeling well to see if he could come to see me, he was really mad at first and asked me why i made myself sick over a fight, he said something very mean at the beginning and then came over to my place taking care of me, bought me the soup and meal and sit on the side until i am OK and also apologized for being mean at the beginning.i did not know if i was doing the right thing or not by the time, but i have need to meet, if the one we are dating can not meet our basic need at all, then fuck them. ( sorry for saying that). Because when they say they cares about us, how could we know? we couldn’t smell it, we couldn’t eat it, we need to see and feel it.

    how long you have been dating? if he never called you then forget about him. or tell him what you want, you want to date like a normal dating couple at least with some basic communication involved…if he wants to date you, we are talking about the commitment here as it is too earlier to mention that, but at least dating was supposed to be like a dating….he is not from outer space..
    it might be easier said than done as i did not have this problem since beginning.

    do not be afraid, keep me posted, always remember to get your need met first….

  83. #83 by lionsroar on May 18, 2009 - 1:51 am

    Saggi girl:

    LOL love your post… here’s the update, of course I got a text Saturday night, .. the night we were suppose to go out. You’ll love this. he sent it at 10pm “im still in my pajamas I’m such a loser”.. I replied a hour later…”LOL, maybe you shoudl get out of your cave”… Today (sunday) he sent me a text, now this is reall f’d up… “went to lunch and then got ice cream, I feel fat”……

    I DIDNT EVEN REPLY! THIS GUY IS SELFISH!!! HE ONLY THINKS OF HIMSELF. Sorry but after today I am done, pretty sure I wont be posting anymore. Leo and Taurus DO NOT MATCH! This guy is beyond self absorbed, not a hi, how are you, how’s your day, miss you NOTHING… I have wated Feb. thru May on this nut job…… The Lion is done. There is nothing to hunt.

  84. #84 by Jess on May 18, 2009 - 3:23 am

    Hi to all,

    wow looks like many got fed up and give up on Taurus already…. well that includes me also ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Yeah I know I said before that I have decided just I still need to give him the Bday gift first (yes it passed his Bday already and yep i didnt get to spend his Bday time with him just as I expected) But I already bought a gift and I really want to give it to him. I really dont want to owe anyone anything and since he has been treating me very nice all along.

    I tried to get him out to meet but seem no luck the past 2 days but I will try again today. You know as an Aries when I have decided I want to get thing done and just wait till I’m over there is no turn back time.

    I will still coming back here to see how things are going for you girls, so please keep me posted may be who knows we might run into another Taurus nest time ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Good luck to me…haha!

  85. #85 by FabLibra on May 18, 2009 - 2:41 pm

    Saggi Girl,

    You are absolutely right. Fuck Him. I dont call alot because I dont want to bother him, but I called him last night because I really needed someone to talk to..I wanted him to come over. He didnt answer. I texted, I left a vm. I know his excuse will be ” I was sleeping”. Sunday is his day off from his 24/7 schedule but STILL. I am so fed up with this GUY. Like you said if my BASIC needs cant be met…then FUCK HIM! Its just so hard to back off. Its not a committment that I want to discuss with him..I simply want to know where this is going.

    You just dont know how a complete 180 this guy has done on me. The begining was SO DIFFERENT. He was all over me. This second job has made him change. I cant compete. I feel like wounded road kill. My ego is so bruised so yea I think Im going to lick my wounds and walk away.

  86. #86 by saggi girl on May 18, 2009 - 2:57 pm

    lionsroar,

    it is so sad that you won’t be here anymore but the good part is that you saved your headache. it is true that they are selfish and always thinks about themselves. I do not think that they will change, they won’t. do we want a selfish boyfriend or husband, i think part of me always want to challenge, that is why i called the obssesion. I think even though we got them finally, if they are still the selfish person and also stubborn about their selfishness, we are gonna be in trouble. I think the worst part about taurus sign is that if they are good, so they are very good, like loyalty, because of their stubborness and they won’t change. but if they are bad, they will be bad forever, also due to the stubborness. Ex mine is very selfish, he only thinks of himself. sometimes, like a baby. I don’t think that they are strong enough, sometimes, they are too much self pity themself like the whole world owe them if they were not in a good shape. they took it out on the person who loves them instead of chaning themselves……

    good luck with your next romance……nice to meet you here

  87. #87 by saggi girl on May 18, 2009 - 3:28 pm

    hi Fablibra
    it is true that they can only focus on one thing at a time, your guy just started a new job, he must pay a lot of attention to his new job. I felt the same way when ex mine started this new job not long ago, he paid a lot of attention to it as he is very nervous about losing it and also he wants to be competitive. so, he will need a lot of time to himself digest the new knowledge or something new. i do not blame him for that as they are taking job very seriously and they are hard working. but the point is that we can be considerate as we are not selfish bitch, but they need to see what we have done for them as a woman who have certain need to meet, I think if they really care about us, they should talk to us about that, so we will have an understanding not just went on with their busy schedule as if we are not existing. Maybe, there is a difference due to age, mine a lot older than yours, he is in his early 40s, he had a marriage before, maybe he understands about woman better then yours as he still calls and still make effort to meet after got his new job but i can see a difference about his time spending before and after……

    you are very young and got a beautiful ahead, why wasting your time on one person, i think what you need to do right now is to date some other guys and leave him alone. if you do not want to give up on him, it is fine but you need to date more guys to occupy your time, maybe, when he is back, you no longer need him. Trust, it happens. You just need to step out of your comfort zone to do it, you are ok before you met him right? you will survive…..

    good luck and feel better

  88. #88 by lionsroar on May 18, 2009 - 11:45 pm

    saggi girl.

    Egads..Thanks for the words and listening. I so had to write today.. Okay after my great done and over. Which I still am, but I thought you ladies would love to hear this. So he is leaving for business today he will be gone for a few weeks. Today he “calls my cell phone” RARE – VERY RARE! And he talks as if nothing has happened between us in the past few days, no issues, just a regular day. Then he lets me know he will be leaving but he will send me all of his travel itinerary so that ‘I DONT WORRY ABOUT HIM’… Ahhh I think that would be normal if we were a couple, BFF, something but not what we are. He then lets me know he will call me when he gets there and he will call/text periodically when he can. Oh yah and then he says that he will be home on a certain day (late at night), but will call me and we can get together the next day.!!!

    SELFISH BASTARD.. All about him, his trip, what he wants, when he wants it, even advising me to worry? !

    Nope not, he’s crazy.. Oh and he NEVER SHUT UP ON THE PHONE! I could not get more than 3 sentences in the whole 10 minutes….

    Goddess love you woman that go through this stuff with these folks. But honestly I’m starting to think I might not get rid of him as easy as I thought, I assumed he really did not care, now I get this. These guys are bi-polar!!!
    LOL

  89. #89 by saggi girl on May 19, 2009 - 5:54 pm

    hi lionsroar,

    i am glad that you are back to the site, where we can share the story and experience regardless, it might be the help to others who were stuck with this group of bi-polars. i like it, we can share good and bad experience with everyone to vent or get through the hardness with them.

    love you all….

  90. #90 by lionsroar on May 20, 2009 - 1:07 am

    Thanks saggi girl and hello to everyone else!

    Just giving you ladies my update, not changing my position..this lion is done. Anyway Bi-Polar Taurus guy sent me a text this am to let me know… “I can not believe I am going to be inside for over 12 hours”… LOL Is that not heart touching.. All about him. His trip is over seas with a long lay over. Anyway, obviously I replied the best I could without saying F-U.. delete my number so I replied “Poor thing, take a good book” What ever! then I got another text… Yah 2 in the same morning, Stunning yah think! The next text was… “I do not think I can find one healthy thing to eat in this airport:… The last text I did not even reply too… I’m pretty sure I’ll get a few more updates on “him and what he is doing” of course there will never be a hello, how are you in the messages.. I’ll keep you posted girls and remember this guy is 40 plus! Oh and foot note he is very close to Gemini.. could be even more the reason he is bi-polar, perhaps there are two bulls in there … yuck!

  91. #91 by saggi girl on May 20, 2009 - 1:32 pm

    hi,
    i can not believe that he sent you text in the earlier morning(how earlier is it?), what a selfish shit, the thing is that he does not think that he is selfish at all. why he does not consider that you are probably sleeping by the time. keep us posted, it is getting fun now.

    as for me, i think my feeling is cooling down now and getting better day by day…

    keep us posted…..

  92. #92 by cloud9 on May 20, 2009 - 11:12 pm

    Hey all,

    I have been reading these posts for the longest and now its time for me to respond!

    i want to say to those that are having a hard time with the taurus man, to please stop with the negative thoughts. keep reading about the taurus man traits until you really understand what kind of man you are dealing with. he is not stupid, at all and doesn’t like to deal with all the craziness we women do when we are upset.

    i am deeply in love with my taurus man and he loves me, too. we have been together for about 10 months and its progressingliy getting better!

    in the beginning, i, too was confused, angry and decided to walk away on many occassions. however, to my ADVANTAGE, i have a close taurus friend who would tip me off on how to deal with him. she would explain to me his actions and his intentions because i guess as a taurus, she understood. on top of that, i did lots of research on this man, so, i learned to NOT TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY. one thing i learned is that if a taurus is interested in you, they have intentions on being in a long term relationship with you.
    OMG, i am so in love with this man!

    anyhow, i went off on him twice in the beginning, but in a very feminine way. he loved it, but i got my point across, yet it didn’t move him. i kept myself busy and ALWAYS looked irrisitable to him. he always compliments me on my figure and loves touching me. infact, we touch each other whenever we are around each other.

    i think the key thing is to be ultra feminine, almost like the damsel in distress. the funny thing is he likes for me to TELL HIM WHAT TO DO. he opens the car doors for me, he opens doors for me and i don’t ever carry anything, but my purse around him. he asked me, one day, what i expect a man to do for me and i told him. everything i told him, he does!!!

    i compliment him alot and am sincere about it. i talk to him ABOUT HIS INTERESTS, which are also the same as mine.

    i also told him i will support him in anyway i can and has not let him down. i am open and honest with him. i know he appreciates that.

    i am a cancer and we compliment each other like you wouldn’t believe. i truly feel this man is my soul mate and i expect us to be married no later than 2011.
    he has told me he loves me, during our “intimate” times together, but he will not say it otherwise. i accept it though, because i see it in his eyes and THE WAY HE IS WHEN HE’s WITH ME. just recently, he started playing golf twice a week. am i mad? no, but i am ok with the time we are away from each other because when i am with him, i feel there is nothing else that exists but us two. plus, i am giving him his space. i need my space, too, so i am good with that.

    you have to remain positive with this man at all times. you can not be nervous, upset or even angry. remember this man is intelligent and he can pick up on it and you will continually get him not calling back or delaying his time to contact you. his actions are actually messages. pay attention. if you have to, don’t get upset. matter of fact, “send an email,telling him off” by this i mean actually type an email, telling him how you feel, but save it as a draft. don’t send it. you will feel much more relieved. when he calls you a week or two later, act as though nothing happened. call him, text him or email him as if he has done nothing to make you upset and he will most likely respond a little more often. once he feels that you are not going to create a negative environment, he will want to be around you more often.

    trust me, as a cancer, we are sensitive to everything. i shed a few tears, getting mad, but once i opened my mind to understand more about him, i relaxed and focused on the positive, now this man spends time with me quite a few times out the week! we get together on the weekends, either saturdays or sundays. sometimes, we may not talk that weekend, but i will send him an email. usually he doesn’t respond, but he will let me know he got it and we will talk about it.

    this man always lets me know that he will protect me and to know that i am safe when i am with him. i feel it and he knows that he can calm me down.

    HOPE THIS HELPS. I WILL KEEP CHECKING BACK!

  93. #93 by lionsroar on May 21, 2009 - 1:36 am

    cloud9 and all others:

    Okay update and I read Clou9’s post first.. have to say I may actually believe some of her post is true… My Taurus update is as follows he arrived at his destination across the world I woke up at 6am with a text that he made it and was tired. Selfish or thoughtful I couldnt decide: it was 6am my time and he is now 6 hours ahead of me… However Noon my time I got another text and he was questioning if I got his text I replied yes, etc… 30 minutes late I got another text from him that obviously he is having troubles with texting from another country.. still couldnt tell if he recv’d my message and if this was just a blind text going to everyone. Here’s the part that makes me thing Cloud9 is right… 6 pm my time, midnight his… I recv’d an email from him on my personal email that said, I just wanted to tell you I made it and that I have been trying to get intouch with you, I will send you emails when I can, hope everything is okay at home,the time difference makes it difficult I will try to call you tomorrow before you leave for work, if I am not stuck in a meeting, if not check your email before you go to sleep.

    Allright he scored points there..But I still do not understand why he is pouring it on now instead of prior…
    Anyway that’s my update.. Best to everyone

  94. #94 by FabLibra on May 21, 2009 - 2:07 am

    Hi Ladies,

    I CANT do this anymore…

    Saggi Girl I took your advice and called him Sun. No answer I fig he was asleep since this is his day off. I told him I really needed someone to talk to, and wanted it to be him. No reply back…not even on Monday.

    Monday night I txt him..”do I ever cross your mind..youre always on mine” he had the nerve to txt me back “man whats up with you?”

    I txted back: What did I do wrong NOW? If I should leave you alone PLEASE tell me..he ignored me.

    Did I miss something here. Did he seriously get upset that I txted him that?

    On thursday he was ok with me…I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPEN??? I feel so embarrased…he makes me feel like Im a nat that just wont go away. I am too afraid to say anything else. I felt like he BARKED at me. My feelings are hurt..I am very sensitive. Why cant he just be honest and tell me to go away if thats what hes feeling..I will NOT be hurt. Hed actually be doing us both a favor.

    IM SO CONFUSED

    Good night..and good luck to u all.

    PS- Im going to change my name to tired and wounded Libra. I dont feel so fabulous now.

  95. #95 by cloud9 on May 21, 2009 - 3:13 am

    Yes, some taurus folks have a sharp tongue. My girlfriend is like that and she is so bossy. I can hang out with her, but after a certain amount of time, I start to get tense around her and cut the visit short. My man, on the other had been like that andclaimed to have worked on himself to not be like that, anymore. I have not seen that part of him. I know he was furious when I was two hours late, to meet him. He was silent and would not look at me. When I apologized and decided to leave, he didn’t want me to. However, he gave me a piece of his mind without insulting me or hurting my feelings. A few minutes later, we made passionate love.

    Let the taurus man keep texting you. Act like things are exciting where you are. If you can take it, don’t text back until an hour or longer. Don’t Ever expect him to call or text back. I can almost guarantee he will begin to call and text more often. Just busy(wink wink). Many may say you should not play games, but this is effective strategy to getting YOUR man. They have strategic and creative ways to get us, we can do the same.

    Taurus men are sensitive, too, but typically speaking, they will not come out and say you hurt them. They act out like children.

    Take it day by day. You will see how he will keep after you. You will see.

  96. #96 by Jess on May 21, 2009 - 6:12 am

    Hi to all,

    ++ CLOUD9 ++ Thank you for making a notice here, I guess we need some positive story about the bull.

    ++ SAGGI GIRL ++ look like you are really on a good way, I’m impressed you are really standing firm not shaken by the bull (yet) Anyway I’m happy for you to be cooling down and getting better and better.

    ++ lionsroar ++ Thank you for the update, I will keep checking you out.

    ++ Fablibra ++ I think you need to stop contacting him atleast for now (no matter what is on his mind about you) I know I would. Its not a good idea to text after text trying to get the answer for his silent. I know it bothers so much but it is using doing that and it only hurts your even more. Now please try to make peace by yourself and let him contact you back.

    To update my situation, I asked him out on monday night to give him his Bday gift. I wasnt plan to tell him i want out because it wouldnt be nice saying that after giving a person a gift but he pushed me to talk as he noticed i wasnt normal.

    So i said everything in my mind: how his disappearing act made me feel bad, how i start to feel he might seeing other girl or already got a gf. When i start to smell stinct is when I know i need to stay away and i dont bother to ask for explanation because i know whatever his answer i will continue to doubt and dig more to it. I told him the more i keep seeing him the more i would feel for him so i want to stop here and be just friend (with no benefit)

    He explained, its not disappearing for him, but having a life and that i never leave his thought. And that he likes me very much (i said obviously he doesnt like me enough as he can go few days without contacting me at all) He said he understands how i feel. He asked if this is my decision and thanks me for being honest.

    He told me he’s confused how he feels with me. He doesnt know if he really like me very much or it is because we dont meet so often that it makes he feels so much with me. (actually i have same doubt for us too)

    He also said he is not the kind of person who make future plan now atleast not until he can moves his mother to stay with him but he asked me how much and how often i want the contact. I told him its not just about the amount of contact eventhough 1 text a day would be nice but I dont want him to change because he cant. I like him to be him, but when his normal and my normal doesnt match, when he his completely normal keep making me feel bad is when I know we are not match.

    Girls, now he is acting strange. The next day I turn on my computer to find his offline message. And I got 4 sms on the same day and I got another offline message when I got home after work on computer…..

    the second day and third day is the same. I was surprised and I dont know how to act. I have my msn status hiding because I dont know how to react. If I respond to his contact and keep things going between us like before, then I will activate to start falling for him again. But I dont like playing game so when i got his text I reply back on a same manner.

    Now I feel like I’m hiding and trying to avoid his contact. I just dont know what i should do with him.

  97. #97 by FabLibra on May 21, 2009 - 1:01 pm

    Jess,

    Thank you for your input and advice. Like I said I’m too hurt to say anything to him. Then I sit and wonder will he ever call? Im in a lose lose situation. I said to myself to give him a couple of weeks and try to apologize for my emotions being all over the place. I have been through SO much this past year. He happen to just walk in my life where I feel alone. I thought he’d be my comforter, and now hes desserted me. I just dont know what to do.

    Anyway, I think you should stop running and hiding and let your man do what you asked. We are ALL asking for that quality time and effort. Hes trying to reach out and give it, TAKE IT. I know I would…lol! All I ask for is a simple text message to let me know he’s thinking of me, and youre getting attention…exactly what you asked for. Dont play the games as he probably will pull back again. Soak it up!

    Hope this help!

  98. #98 by saggi girl on May 21, 2009 - 3:06 pm

    hi Jess,

    it is obviously he likes you, that is my perception as he was making effort to let you know that he thinks of you. you should not have hiden anywere as it is not healthy. Just give it another try to see how far you can go, at least from my point of view, he is trying.. if you do want to be with him, accetp his effort, do not be afraid of love or being hurt as in a relationship it is inevitable, if you are afraid of being hurt and you will neven get love…. but at the same time self respect your own need. i am glad that you finally spoke it out and stand up for yourself. One thing i know about taurus man is that they really appreciated that a person will stand up for herself and state her own need, this way, he knows you instead of guessing around.

    Jess, do not hide, comes out and give it another try to see how far you can go since he shows you that he is trying…..

    good luck and keep us posted

  99. #99 by saggi girl on May 21, 2009 - 3:30 pm

    FabLibra,

    i am sorry to hear that but do not contact him anymore until he contact you back as you did already. And also do not show your emotion to him anymore it seems that he can not handle it.

    i remembered ex mine that he dropped a girl after he knows me, and she called him when we were together talking in his car after the movie, he ignored the call and told me it was her, and then 30 minutes later, she called again, he ignored again and then she called again 10 minutes later, he was tellling me that it started bothering him and even wondered if he wanted to be friend with her, later on, he told me that he called her back and told her to forget about him, that was almost a year ago. 2 months ago, i asked him if he was still talking to her, he said that he spoke with her one time when she called when her dad passed away, he told me that he comforted her as he wanted to be decent and but did not see a reason to see her, but felt bothered if she called all the time especially kept calling after he did not answer. so, i do not know if that is in their trait or not, but one thing for sure is that he hated being called all the time especially he did not respond. So,FabLibra, REMEMBER, do not call anymore, do not, let it cool off for now until he reached you back since you already told him what’s on your mind…

    DO NOT CONYACT him until he contacted you back…….

    keep us posted….

  100. #100 by saggi girl on May 21, 2009 - 3:40 pm

    hi cloud9

    i am glad that things have worked out for you, at least we got one with the positive experience here on this site, thanks for sharing with us.

    Just out of curiosity, did he tell you anything about where this relationship is going? or ever hinted?

  101. #101 by Jess on May 21, 2009 - 4:02 pm

    Good day to all,

    Thanks to both FabLibra & Saggi Girl for the advice and support!

    I know I should sound happier and reap what this bull is offering now (because may be this is what we all are looking for from the bull) but call me skeptic, I feel its not real him. Eventhough he might be genuine in trying to change or do what I asked for. But we all know how the bull can really change?????? I feel sooner or later he will be back to his real state.

    Besides as I start to really feel he might has a gf or seeing other girls besides me (As I’m being more realistic regarding his disappearing act than basing mostly on zodiac sign)

    But I dont want to ask him to explain because I know I would doubt his answer if its true or not. I still like him a lot and think he is such an adorable and interesting person but I dont think I can handle him and I dont want to lose my sanity later and get hurt. Yes I’m afraid of being fooled (after my lastest heartbroken with the ex bf I swear no guy would get me torn apart like that ever again) if there is another chance for me to have a relationship I would like the real thing with a real man.

    Sometimes I feel a bit ridiculous for myself to rely so much on zodiac sign inorder to read this (bull)guy but somehow its true, still i need to feel my feet on the ground, my soul within my body, and my mind in peace. I’m glad though to find this website and to have sharing story with you girls!

    I’m writing this reply while hiding my status from him again lol. I dont know why but I need to feel stronger to resist his charm. Saggi girl I dont know if I want to give it another try. (after soo many try) So until he’s back to his normal state.(hot and cold)or I figure out how to do with him, I’ll try keep my contact only to necessary.

    Will keep my story posted and I wish to hear from everyone too.

    All the best to everyone and please take care of yourself,
    Jess.

  102. #102 by Jess on May 21, 2009 - 4:21 pm

    Btw, back to read posting from Cloud9, yes sharp tounge!!! so true! I cant remember how many times i shed a tear because of his bad mouth which he even think i made a big deal from his little (little my ass…) nasty joke…

    And yes about the feminine part, highly suggest you girls to act and dress up all feminine if you still hanging around with the bull. Oh one more thing: Please do smell nice!

    Oh well,

    Ok off to bed now…

  103. #103 by kk on May 21, 2009 - 4:35 pm

    hi everyone.
    jess dont feel ridiculous to try to understand ur taurus through his zodiac sign because TRUST ME this is the only way.
    if i didnt try this way i would have stopped with my taurus guy a long time ago.
    i normally understand any person i have in front after a while, even gemini, but this taurus MAAAAAAAAAAAN!

    i ve beeing dating one for about 10 months now. i say dating yes: it s cause they date for a long time before they decide to be boyfriend and girlfriend.but in th emeanwhile they talk and act like u r, and they even talk this way: ” if we get married we gonna have these plates”, or he says im ur rock u can tell me anything” and i reply “i am not supposed to tell u everything we re not married”. i just use the same language now even if i used to act different before, like used to tell him all my problems and he was listening to me and giving me advises. the thing is they keep asking u all the questions they want like where hav u been and stuff like that even just for conversation, but when u ask em they dont like answering.

    this man has been the only one that really drove me mad but im still with him.after all this time i understood a lot about him and taurus thanks to these kind of sites and forums plus through the sign and birth chart.
    what i am asking my self do u think they wait for a financial stability to start thinking seriously when everything else seems to be there, and he seems as well to love me but he denies that, he says he really cares about me.
    do u guys think they tend to hyde what they feel?
    he know i love him but i dont tell him all the time just rarely.

    he told me at the beginning to control my feelings but at the same time when intimate he asked me : “do u love me?”———————————-NOW ISNT IT CONFUSING???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  104. #104 by saggi girl on May 21, 2009 - 5:59 pm

    kk

    wow, it is really true. i do not know why it takes them a very long time dating before they recognized you as their girlfriend officially. as deep inside they think you are. there is a time we were talking, i mentioned something about my friend and her boyfriend, i said this couple is reallly funny like us, then i said:”no, we are not couple.”, he said” you think we are not couple?”, i said” we are not, right?”, he said” practically we are, but just not official yet.”, what the hell?

    another thing is that they tend to say “care about” instead of “love”, i do not know why? what the huge difference between these two. anyways, they are not the people i could understand as a human being like me…..haha.

  105. #105 by saggi girl on May 21, 2009 - 6:00 pm

    Jess, you are off to bed? where are you? i am at work now…

  106. #106 by kk on May 21, 2009 - 6:28 pm

    so saggi girl see they re all the same!
    so do u think when they say i care it means i love u but they dont actually say it because i think they just wait for the right time (which for me is after a year or two). what think is they just decide that for example if after a year things go right they can do a step forward like calling us boyfriend and girlfriend, just because they dont want to show their “weakness”(?) before.
    and do u guy go out together with other friends too?

  107. #107 by FabLibra on May 21, 2009 - 6:52 pm

    In General:

    If I back off…what if he NEVER calls back???

    I think Ive ruined it…its official

  108. #108 by kk on May 21, 2009 - 7:03 pm

    fablibra if u back off from my experience u can get something.
    i know that normal people would do the opposite but we re talking about taurus man!lol
    trust me ive been through this before
    once he sees ur not contacting him anymore he will start again. REMEMBER : THEY RE SLOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW. give him time.
    if normal people take one hour to think about something they take at list two days.

  109. #109 by saggi girl on May 21, 2009 - 7:44 pm

    hi kk,

    you are so funny. i don’t really know if “caring about” means love but i just felt it is so disturbing when he said that. i have been dating him over a year but my case is little different because he is currently seperating from his wife for more than 2 years, and is getting divorce. we were boyfriend and girlfriend after 2 months because i asked for it( but i do not think he is that serious when he gave me the title because i demanded it), he talked about moving in together with me, so we even talked about which area we are gonna live, but after he made a trip to see his dad and i think he cooled off because his dad told him not to be so hasty. after that, he cooled off and i broke up with him for some reason, then i called him, we got back together. but when i mentioned the titling thing, he refused to give the title to me. he said:” you gave the title back to me, and right now, you want the title back, i don’t think it is a good idea, i only give you the title when we became stable.” it has been over a year, i haven’t gotten the title back, i don’t think i will, that is why i gave up, i have no patience…..

    no, we never went out with friend together, he asked to see my best friend a few times, but i refused to do it as he refused to give me title, how could i introduce him to my friend? a date over a year? so embrassing. but he said he does not care if i told my friend he is my boyfriend. but i won’t do that as i knew i am not his official girlfriend yet.

    did you even go out with his friend? how often you talk to each other, it seems that we have similar situation. we normally see each other once a week normally on sundays.

  110. #110 by FabLibra on May 21, 2009 - 7:45 pm

    KK,

    Thank you SO much for…I hope youre right. I just wiped a tear away..lol.

  111. #111 by saggi girl on May 21, 2009 - 7:57 pm

    FabLibra,

    if he never called back, which means he never intend to contact you, that is how i name it. if he intend not to contact you, he won’t contact even though you contact him initially. from my point of view, i will let it go for now, and find something else to do. Just pretend that you have never known him, i know it is hard, i have been there before, i was s out of control sometimes, i wanted him to tell me what i wanted to know RIGHT NOW, so i pushed it and got the answer” i do not love you.”, remember my story?

    so, forget about him for now. if he wants to contact you, he knows where to find you. also, tell you one thing, they are so patient and slow, i remebered our last fight over commitment issue, he called me one time after that, i did not answer. he never called again until 3 weeks later i called him back, so i asked him if he would ever call if i did not call him back, he said that he will but he wanted to give more times before he call as he was still angry and want both of us to cool it off. so, FabLibra, do not call. if he does not call, like i said, he neven intended to call….

    be strong…..even though it is hard….

  112. #112 by cloud9 on May 21, 2009 - 10:48 pm

    Yes, he has hinted to the future on many occassions. He also said that he wish that we could have met in our 20s. We are in our early 40s, so we relate very well.

    The thing is that when we got to know each other, I honestly didn’t have, nor did I make the time to see him. We would catch a few moments here and there. I enjoyed his conversation and intrigued him with my extreme feminine ways. He was amazed! I thought I got his attention quickly. As I remained BUSY, he would seek me out, to talk to me(we work together).

    The KEY to my success with my taurus man is I studied him as much as hee studied me. He knows me well, so, I am fast learning him. I always bring him food every now and then. I send him nice emails. So, now I have been CONSISTANT with my behavior and actions, he feels more comfortable and is revealing more of himself to me. I know what makes him tick. I make him laugh. He just wrote me a little poetry and this is something I wanted for a long while( he wrote me beautiful poetry in the begining).
    Ladies, it is well worth the wait. This man is worth it. But let me tell you, if you are truly not the feminine woman, you may just turn him off and he will serioously drag his feet.

    Stop worrying about what he is not doing and look at what yoou are doing. Trust me, I know the pain, but once you master his “game” you will win this man over, you will see the beauty and happiness that comes from this man.

  113. #113 by cloud9 on May 21, 2009 - 11:38 pm

    oh, i was typing from my phone, so i could not make any specific comments or give help to anyone.

    JESS,

    once he told you he was confused, you should have told him that you will be there for him, if he needs you and left it at that. DO NOT TRY and pry into his brain. it will only make matters worse. these taurus are so good, that they will have you thinking they have a girlfriend and they won’t have one. give him his space. when he asks what you are doing, tell him you are doing something and cut the converstaion short. always let him know you will be there for him, but try to not show any emotion. these men feel deep and they get scare of that. let him ease on into it.

    you are playing the wrong kind of games with him. he can sense your relcutance and he knows how you feel-trust me. one thing i know about men in general and they know what they want. if you keep doing the wrong things with a taurus, he will start getting angry and lash out with that sharp tongue of his.

    be ultra feminine. act like you need his help all the time. don’t over do it, but let him know. it makes them feel more like a man. they feel thats what they are suppose to do.

    SAGGIGIRL,

    oh and about the length of time talking, my guy says that he doesn’t talk much because he doesn’t feel its necessary to talk alot, unless there is meaningful converstaion. when i want to talk to him about anything, i will send him an email, first and then we will talk about it, when we are in person. you have to get creative with these men.

    understand their nature. they are not your typical men!!

    remember, if he is moody, leave him alone. he will come out of it when he is ready. when my guy used to get in his moods, i let him know i am here and then i go on my way. trust me, there is nothing that can bring him up out of it, if he doesn’t want to.

    oh and about hinting towards the future, he would hold me and tell me that he is going to take care of me. i take it that one day he plans to marry me and do the things a man should do(take care of his woman). now, i am not one to sit at home bare foot and pregnant. i like to do the type of work i do, so we will be fine. trust me.

    each and every day, this man moves closer to me, not only phsycially, but spiritually, as well.

  114. #114 by saggi girl on May 22, 2009 - 1:14 am

    hi Cloud9,

    thanks for sharing and this site finally got some positive point of view for taurus man. one thing, you mentioned that do not show any emotion to them, because they got scared of it. why? i do not understand, if someone loves him, it is a good thing, right? what he needs to scare about? he got scared because he does not love you? I told mine that i love him upfront as that is my nature, i am very outspoken and i do not play game, well, i guess, maybe you are right, that is why he said that he does not love me when i pushed for answer.

    anyways, i gave up on him as he told me that he does not love me when i pushed for answer, he told me that he will call me later afterward, well, he has not called yet. whatever, i go on with my life. but it is really a shame, we ended with him saying that he does not love me. sometimes, i felt that he does not know what he is talking about, he told me that i am very important for him and he put me in his prayer ever time he pray, but look at what he did to me……

    good night, ladies… sharing….

  115. #115 by cloud9 on May 22, 2009 - 3:08 am

    hey saggigirl,
    he was being honest with you. i think he likes you, but he has not fallen in love wit you, yet.

    keep it moving, nut you may want to keep the door opened, perhaps?

  116. #116 by Jess on May 22, 2009 - 3:48 am

    Hey Saggi Girl, now I’m at work and you gone to bed! LOL!

    ++Cloud9++ really appreciate your advice!

    About hinting for the future, I cant really tell if its just his typical joking personality or what (apart from being super sharp tongue, he always make joke) he told me he want his future daughter to look like me and got my personality, told me he wants to get a place to stay close to my place. (but he never invited me to his place) I really dont pay so much attention to these sweet talk as I know action speak it better.

    About having me think he has a gf, actually it was me doing some online research (lol) as I know how he take his privacy seriously and he doesnt like to have friends, he told me he never and has no interest to keep any of his ex as friends. But I found out he still having contact with this latest gf as I saw her posting around asking advice about his work concern. He even use her name as a username for posting around regarding his work concern.

    She also has some business online which I see it has something to do with him.

    Yes I know they can only be just work relating but the fact that he trust her enough to get her involve in this important zone, I feel I should step back.

    ++ KK ++ welcome to the club ๐Ÿ˜‰

    ++ FabLibra++ wipe your tear and please follow others advice. Dont worry about him not coming back if you stop contacting. It will take some time but I think he will get back to you. Now try to focus on something else that make you feel better. Cheer up!

  117. #117 by cloud9 on May 22, 2009 - 9:37 am

    hey jess,

    ohhhh, i see. i am not too crazy for anyone staying friends with an ex. however, if they started a thriving business together then maybe thats different.

    even though you have loyal tauruses, you have some that will lie like a rug. i did date a taurus 10 years ago. this man lied about so much. we dated for about 6 months, when i found out he was not divorced, but legaly separated! i got rid of him real quick! he didn”t know i found out he quit his job, instead of taking a leave of absense. he clained he wanted to go back to him home state to “deal with the divorce.” i was furious!

    my thing is: if there are many tell tale signs that a man may have another woman, just ask. don’t tell him you snooped around. he will not trust you.

  118. #118 by kk on May 22, 2009 - 10:07 am

    saggigirl,
    yes finally after 10 months i met his best friend once, at his girlfriend’s birthday party. apparently he liked me. i dont know if it s a positive thing for me.
    i thought that taurus men dont get divorsed or if they do it takes a long time to recover. i suggest u to find out if she cheated so that means he wanted to devorse.
    if my taurus said he never felt in love how can he say i care a lot about u but i dont love u. how can he know the difference. i asked him once but he changed the subject. i think he gets scared about what he feels and tries to control it until he is ready to commit.

  119. #119 by Jess on May 22, 2009 - 12:22 pm

    Cloud9,

    The problem is I cant tell him how I know about him and this gf still having something to do with business because he would hate it so much how I even find it out by spying…. (i’m getting a bit scared of myself too) and even he can explain I dont know I can believe it.

    So when things get too complicate for me to understand and it doesnt make sense and I smell shit…. i better back off.

  120. #120 by saggi girl on May 22, 2009 - 1:49 pm

    hi Jess,

    i agree that you need to back off as it seems that he is still hanging around with his ex, you never know. it seems that they are still very close to each other, and you can not beat it.

    My instinct tells me that you need to back off, invoving with someone who is still cloudy to you is not good for long run especially you are looking for relationship. Mine at least does not lie to me about his ex, he told me everytime she calls or everytime, he asked if he can answer when she calls for something when i was with him by the time, one time she called, he ignored the call and told me that he will answer later as it is not appropriate to do that in front of me, and asked me if i was upset, i said it is ok to answer the phone in front of me but i would feel upset if you do behind my back. He said ok and called her back in front of me. Jess, I think trust is very important even in friendship but it seems that lack of trust is coming from both side of you especially he does not tell you the truth, it does not mean he has to telll you everything but at least he is not telling you the most important thing which relate to your feeling…..

    I think you need to back off before it gets too complicated.. do you agree?

  121. #121 by saggi girl on May 22, 2009 - 2:14 pm

    kk,

    mine does the same thing, he always say that i cared about you deeply and feel you very strongly. so, what the difference. He said that he loved me before, but most of the time he says ILY instead of saying i love you. I remember one time that i texted him my doubt when he was at work, my line is like” baby, i was just wondering if you were in love with me, i want to know” then i add a sad faces. I did not expect him to respond that way as i know how he is, i thought he might just ignore or something, he responded like” baby, ILY, do not worry, today looks nice, have to back to work.” can you believe that, then i asked him about the message when i saw him, he told me not to send those message all the time as he can not respond at work all the time, i asked how he felt when he received the message, he said” firstly, i was like what is going on, then i want to comfort you”, then i asked him” you sent it because you want to comfort me?’, he was like” no, i just want to let you know how i feel .” KK, did you see that? they are something, one minute you feel like he loves you but another minute he told you that he does not love you( mine told me that like 2 weeks ago when i pushed for answer). i do not know about this creature at all.

    for answering your question about his wife, he cheated on her first after 4 or 5 years of marriage, then they tried to work things out but it failed. his wife got a boyfriend and told him that she no longer loved him, She has been living with her boyfriend more than 2 years. He pushed for divorce last year, he told me that she cried. He told me she might not be ready yet, so he will give her more times. I don’t know, i do not want to involve with their case, he is very careful of not mentioned her name in front of me because i really got upset.

    actually, he did me a favor by saying that he does not love me, as i am doing ok now. i do not know how the future will be, but at least i am doing ok now. i am in control of myself…

  122. #122 by Taurus girl on May 22, 2009 - 8:48 pm

    HELLO!!

    Cloud 9 is 150% correct, you canโ€™t really show too much emotion and you have to stay busy doing your own thing.

    I also had to study my Taurus man, but it was easier for me because we are born 6 days apart and we have some of the same characteristics.

    You take it one day at a time, and to be a lady at all times, and make sure that you are well put together, because Taurus man are easily turned OFF!

    I had to basically reprogram my way of thinking when I starting dealing with my Taurus man, because I am very bossy, he was not going for it. I would push and he would pull away.

    But Taurus are very upfront, like I stated earlier, Taurus man will not stick around if he had no future planes because Taurus are not known for having flings, WE like relationships, it takes him awhile before he gives his heart to you. I am the same way.

    Patience is the key. YOU will not regret it!!

  123. #123 by lionsroar on May 22, 2009 - 9:11 pm

    Hi all.. just wanted to give you gals the update… have not heard a peep, no e-mail, no call, no text.. .no notta! Love how this guy runs hot and cold. And they say Women are fickle?.. HA!

    Been reading your posts, wishing all of you the best.

    And fyi.. went out last night after work and bumped into an old flame. The sparks were there for sure, but that guy is a Gemini and I can tell yah first hand there are two complete different people that occupy those minds.. haha

    Good luck to everyone and I think it is awesome all the support and advice that is flowing on these pages!

  124. #124 by kk on May 22, 2009 - 11:46 pm

    taurusgirl,
    what do u excactly mean when u say taurus men dont stick around if they dont have future plans and it takes a while before they give their heart to u? how can they plan if they havent given their heart to u(love u)?

  125. #125 by cloud9 on May 23, 2009 - 2:18 am

    so, i got an invitation to a cookout, from my taurus man. this cookout is being given by a very close friend of his. i want to look hot, but appropriate. i am excited that i am meeting another one of his long term friends. i only have all of saturday to find something! sunday i am having a cookout with family, so i only have tomorrow.

    this all feels good and i know i am still going through the initiation period with him. however, things are creeping along. i can’t complain. the fact that he has shared some very intimate things, exposing his feelings, leads me to believe he is becoming more trusting and our time being spent together has become more consistant and natural.

    i must say during our most intimate moments he has shared his feelings with me that he would not normally say otherwise. you all may think its the heat of passion and just that, but, i think this is probably when he can best express himself.

    other times, he lets me know he cares, as well.

    ladies, be patient. don’t try and pry his heart open. it won’t work. he will only tighten the grip. trust me, i am so glad i was patient with him. it was hard, but trust me, i am really in love with my taurus man.

    be patient stay focused. its coming.

  126. #126 by Derin on May 24, 2009 - 10:30 am

    Hey all,

    I haven’t updated since I last wrote. Well, he called me eventually, and then we met last Thursday. He took me to a fine restaurant overlooking the sea, (great view) we drank, ate nice fish and had great conversation. He was talkative and quite charming. Then he drove me home. While we were being parted he said he might be out of town for the weekend, but if he doesn’t go, he’ll call me and we’ll do something for the weekend. I said “ok”. Then the next day he called me at noon and said if I had any plans for the night. I said “no” Then he asked if I wanted to meet up. I said well, ok… he said “we’ll go to see a movie” I said fine, I haven’t been to the cinema for a while”. He said he would call me in the evening again. So he called and here comes the shock. He said ” there must be traffic and everywhere must be crwoded on a Friday night, so why don’t we go to his place and we’ll watch a dvd and grab some food, and he’ll bring me back home again?” I was like “well, I thought we would really go to the cinema” I gave the name of a shopping center…he said “ok fine…I’ll come and get you” I said “there’s no need, we’ll meet up there.” He said then he should go home and change and then he’ll meet me.

    Well, we met.

    But I couldn’t feel the connection we had the previous night. I mean first of all I felt somewhat detached because I was taken aback by his “dvd at home” offer because we only went out once… and I might sound pretty conservative but I should have a steady relationship with a man before I go to his house alone, and although there will be those who say that I am wrong but going to a man’s house you have only seen twice is open to different interpretations, you know what I mean. I’m not saying that I am afraid he’ll jump on me, lol, of course he won’t, but it’s just too early. I thought he would know that. I thought because our close friends introduced us, I’m not someone he picked up at a bar and then resorted to the cliche “let’s watch dvd in my house” line. That’s so lame. I have received offers like that before… so in fact that’s an early indication of his motives. That’s how I see.

    Anyway, when we were together he was a little different from the previous night. Obviously, he was either surprised by my refusal or he was angry, I mean he didn’t look happy much. We drank coffee, then ate something and then went into a movie. Oh what a movie!! Our choice was excellent. Its name was “he is just not that into you”… a wonderfully awful first date movie. Our choice couldn’t be worse. It was about relationships, how women and men meet and then women pathetically waiting for the men to call, and men wanting women for sex mainly, and how women always try to marry men but they run away!! It was awful! Ok we laughed and had fun but it was a disastrous first movie. Isn’t it funny, lol?

    Anyway, he drove me home, and he was going away for the weekend, so he said we’ll see each other when he returns. I said fine. Then I called him yesterday. It was the first time I called. I never called him before that, he always called. He sounded quite happy and asked me what I wanted from there, blah blah.

    Well, but I already have this bad feeling. I was very happy in the beginning but his “dvd move” ruined it all. If he tries another time again, he’ll get the same reaction, I mean I won’t go. Then we may go to our separate ways, if he’ll leave me just because of that it’s fine. He can leave. But I thought maybe this time it could work. Apparently we have different world views on relationships… and I may appear too conservative for someone in her early 30s but that’s who I am. I’ve got principles and I see that there’s no need to spend time with someone if he’s not serious. Well we’ll see…

    By the way, he was born on 24 April but he doesn’t seem Taurus to me, somewhat. Or all men are the same , lol.

  127. #127 by kk on May 24, 2009 - 10:51 am

    hi derin. yeah i watch that movie but just with my sister not with him.it was a great movie. i am kind of like the girl that is herself, the one that doesnt play games. u know the one that finally learns and then gets married with the ex playboy.
    i should have gone with my taurus man perhaps : )

    i suggest u to wait and see how he behaves and stick with ur principals anyway.the only think u shouldnt do is rushing into conclusions.

    maybe he thought about watching a movie at his cause he feels more confortable in his house, u know they like doing this a lot. watching a movie at theirs and have a meal.it might have been just lazyness perhaps.
    keep us posted: )

  128. #128 by Derin on May 24, 2009 - 11:50 am

    Hi kk, thank you for your advice ๐Ÿ™‚

    Yeah I should wait I guess. I know I might be rushing into conclusions. Lol, like in that movie, men do or say something and we tend overanalyse their every word. I hate playing games too, so I just wish we would be both open to each other on what we eaxctly want and get it over with:)

    Yeah you may be right, he probably feels more comfortable in his house but arrrggh I don’t know, lol. If he ever asks me again, I don’t know how to say no… I must say that ok I am conservative but I haven’t done “it” yet. This may sound strange to some but I prefer to wait till I get married. Ok, so you think now our relationship will probably not work, right? ๐Ÿ˜€

    I once had a bf once, he was doing everything right. Very courteuous, called me everyday, made me feel good, always complimented me but our relationship was short-lived because he couldn’t get what he wanted! I went to his house, ok, we cuddled and kissed alright (btw he was a bad bad kisser, lol) he didn’t jump on me ok, but he was probably waiting for me to make the move. Then he suddenly ended the relationship, right after the day he made plans for us to go to the theater next week and that night we went out with his friends (and it was like he was showing off with me in front of them, kissing me, hugging me but as soon as we went out of the door, he changed! stopped speaking, started acting moody and didn’t call me the next day till I called ) isn’t it funny? I couldn’t see how shallow he was back then, I was blinded by love and I was much younger. So when he dumped me it was devastating… I cried for days. Can you believe that? I was a fool. The only explanation I can find to this is that I didn’t go to his place once, just before we broke up, for a sleep over you know. I was gonna spend the night… I wasn’t ready for that. So I didn’t. But as I said he was too shallow and a fake. Anyway, I’m so happy now I didn’t spend more time with him… plus he was a terrible kisser. lol Btw, he was a sagittarius. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Anyway, I have always had good feelings about Taurus men, (my brother is taurus and he’s a great family man) but this new guy is starting to change them… ok I shouldn’t be rushing into conclusions, so I’ll stop.:) Oh btw, he’s quite social, he’s going to his hometown most weekends and meet his old friends, they swim, have barbecue etc. He loves to travel… and he’s a sports maniac, I mean he watches every kind of sport on tv and he’s an avid fan of a football team. This is kind of scary too.. ๐Ÿ™‚ Did I tell you girls, I was a virgo? lol

  129. #129 by saggi girl on May 24, 2009 - 6:35 pm

    hi Derin,

    you will be ok, do not jump into conclusion too qick, just wait and see. I know taurus man will chase the woman he is interested first and then started slowing down, which seems like you chase them back at the later stage….

    Hang in there but not to give in what you demanded…..

    happy long weekend to you all, tomorrow will be memorial day….another day off…

  130. #130 by lionsroar on May 24, 2009 - 10:38 pm

    Hey All.. Happy long weekend.

    Derin, read your post and I have to tell you the one I think,still not sure dated, attempted to have a relationship.. and I say all of this because of the way he acted.. Was ALL ABOUT BEING AT HIS HOUSE!!! It is like a safety net, literally I had 3 dates describing what you said.. my house a movie and order dinner. It did not involve the exchange of DNA samples (hahaha) either. I can tell you I found out quick they are about comfort and control.. Theirs! I have known the one I was dating for many years as a friend first, never really knew how he was until we dated.. very weird…

    And to up date everyone, just recv’d an email today letting me know he found a postcard to send me?? HU? Whatever and of course it was backed up by havent found postage yet, that is to be determined, hanging out at video cafe’s and they have phones so that you can contact anyone worldwide….

    Okay….. he told me this, finally sent a email that I am getting a postcard, he’s hanging out where their are phones and HE HASNT CALLED ME WHY???? Can I tell you as I type this I could bang my head on the kitchen table… This is why I said this one has to go, but going he is not.. I dont get these men.

    Sorry wish I could add something/anything, so I guess my two cents is letting you all know what this Taurus is up too..Best to everyone, enjoy the extra day off if your employment allows it!

  131. #131 by Jess on May 25, 2009 - 7:56 am

    Hey Derin,

    Glad to hear from you again (as we all knew it the bull will come around! lol)

    Your ‘dvd at home’ killer reminds me so much of my ‘porn link’ version! On our 3rd date I was out party with him till 5 in the morning. I told him I will get a cab right back to the office so I have an hour to wash up and get ready to work but he asked and insisted for me to go back with him to his place to get couple hrs sleep. I tell you I like it when people cant wait to show me their true color and for me sex is not going happen unless i allow that so i wanted to see how he is goind to do so i joined him and we only got half an hour sleep (after listening to his 1.5 hour talking since he insisted me to listen to compensate from not getting sex…)

    A week after that night I went to see him just for dinner, the next day I got his email. This is the shocking part…. he sent me some website trying to make joke but when I checked it was a porn site (totally nasty kind)

    I was shocked (eventhough we been dating 4 times already) so I reply in email how i dislike that and perhaps he misinterpret me joining him back to his place that night gave him wrong impression of me being easy.

    There comes another shock wave, he replied me: he never has a bad impression that I’m easy, ATLEAST NOT EASIER THAN THE OTHERS!!!!!!! and he said i’m too uptight as i should have known him by now that it was joking (how could u send a porn link to your date as a joke!) and that he is not interested in my moral value.

    OMG!!!!! how an arse this guy could be!

    But after we talked about it and he admited he did that on purpose. Its his natural protection (my arse) when he felt being attacked but now he is not being an arse with me anymore.

    Sorry for long story, anyway though I cant say for all but the taurus I’m dealing with, is very direct and never have problem with speaking his mind even it sounds rude or offensive to the others (funny i suspect he even love if it does). So I think it could be that your Taurus is giving you his ‘dvd at home’ version out of no real bad intention but remember he is also observing your attitude.

    Take sometime to learn him and keep us posted.

    Enjoy!

  132. #132 by lionsroar on May 26, 2009 - 1:10 am

    Hey Derin this one is for you (and everyone else, laughing, sharing and following along)

    The darling Bull I have been involved with since the beginning of February who is half way across the world sent me an email a few hours ago. He has only been gone one week and has a little under 2 more weeks oversees for business.

    Anyway… laughed and though of you Derin. His e-mail was..
    “Will be home on June 5, keep June 6th open to come over, DVD and dinner at my place”..

    Had to share that with you. Again for the rest of the group, No Hi, How are you, Miss you, Did the U.S. blow up.. notta. Just a “Save the Date” and “come sit in my cave”.

    LOL.. Best to all. Oh and I did not reply yet. Still dont think I like playing with these guys. I am a Leo and we are definetly two different types.

  133. #133 by saggi girl on May 26, 2009 - 7:17 pm

    hi, all,

    i did the stupidest thing in my life that i went to the psychic reading to get a tune in about my future. After that, i went to online and found out that people all complained about the psychic reading, which is always fraudulent.

    i can not believe that i did that, anyone did that before?

  134. #134 by lionsroar on May 26, 2009 - 9:58 pm

    Hey Saggi Girl.. had to chuckle… We had a company employee appreciation function, the theme was “carnival” and they even hired a psychic lady.. yes I did sit down with her. This was 15 years ago.. she predicted I would have 3 children.. wrong! ONE child would be in the armed forces.. wrong!, my spouse would retire early.. wrong.. This lady even gave you a cassett recording of the reading.. I might still have that thing, You have inspired me to go look for it and have a good laugh tonight. hahaha.

    Luckily I did not have to pay, sorry for what ever money you lost out on that. I know you are just trying to get a good answer from anyone.. Chin Up.. At least you can now use this experience to help others…

    Bottom line if you want to know what to do, etc.. you need to just listen to yourself! You have the answers and you know what is in your best interest and goals in life.

  135. #135 by lionsroar on May 26, 2009 - 10:02 pm

    Saggi Girl

    Oh one more thing.. it you want a fun site to poke around on about horoscopes, meditations, self help, chat rooms, etc… go to

    http://www.soulgardencollective.tv/

  136. #136 by saggi girl on May 27, 2009 - 1:17 pm

    hil ionsroar,

    thank you so much for your response, i like what you said about “chin up, Bottom line if you want to know what to do, etc.. you need to just listen to yourself! You have the answers and you know what is in your best interest and goals in life.”

    i kind of told myself on my way to work that i can not control tomorrow or how future turns out to be, maybe in a way i desired or maybe not, but all i can do is to make sure every step i moved is right from my point of view, i know we have to trust our own judgement, no matter how hard it is.”

    thanks for your message and hope you are well….

  137. #137 by Derin on May 27, 2009 - 7:48 pm

    Saggi girl, thank you. Yeah I’m hanging in there for now ๐Ÿ™‚ He called me yesterday, asked me how I’ve been and said that he’s having a busy week, maybe we’ll do something this weekend? I said sure, why not but also I may be out of town, but it’s not certain yet. Anyway, so he called… and I don’t wanna think he called me just to ply me for now… well but he wouldn’t have called if he didn’t want to, right? You know last week, right after we went out, he wanted to see me again the next day but for now he seems to be delaying it. Oh well, as you said, I guess, starts fast and then slows down… ๐Ÿ™‚

    Btw, my friend called me today and told me that her brother, who introduced us to each other you know, also talked to him on the phone yesterday and asked him how it was going with him and me. My Taurus’s response was “very good!” , he told him that “we see each other, though he was absent for the weekend” and “we talk on the phone” … well, two weeks from now they’ll be playing basketball and my friend’s brother told him that he wants more details then, and he answered “sure” , lol. Well, I don’t know if this is a good thing but this makes me think that if this is his idea of “very good” , what’s gonna happen when we start seeing each other more often – if that’ll ever be of course –

    Jess, oh my God! how could he do such a thing? You are definitely more patient than me, I’d cut it out right there I suppose lol, but definitely your questioning the whole thing and trying to understand why he did it was the reasonable thing to do. I jump into conclusions too easily, I don’t like being like that. Yours sounds like a very interesting man and I’m glad you are happy now ๐Ÿ™‚ Well you must be right about him observing my attitude also, I wonder when he is going to make another attempt and then really understand my attitude ๐Ÿ™‚

    lionsroar, I can’t believe this, you cracked me up! What a coincidence! His timing was perfect, lol. Wow, men should thank God the dvd was ever invented, then how else could they have an excuse to invite us to their house, oh wait the stamp collection! lol Please keep us posted on your decision. Whatever you decide I’m sure it’ll be the right one,

    best to you, best to all.

  138. #138 by Derin on May 27, 2009 - 7:57 pm

    I almost forgot.

    saggigirl, yes i’ve been to a psychic, only once. about 8 months ago (with a friend who went to psychics all the time) She knew things about the past but nothing about the future, apparently because i’m still waiting for that man with a gorgeous smile who I shoudl have met by now! haha I believe that they can sense things, about the past and maybe the immediate future but nothing beyond that.

    so yes I cannot believe I did that either and actually paid for it but we all do such stupid and harmless things, lol.

  139. #139 by lionsroar on May 27, 2009 - 9:46 pm

    Hi all…. and here is todays update….. You guys will love this. Here is my text message in its full..ready…

    “I think I have gained 10 pounds since I have been here, I must be retaining beer, found stamps and mailed a post card to you”

    HAHAHA… That is it! No Hi, How are you, How’s work, etc… I guess this means he is thinking of me. Well the next time Chucky is chewing on my uterus I will explain to him what real water retention is! What a moron!

    Egads… anyways I guess this is how he shares himself…LOL

  140. #140 by saggi girl on May 28, 2009 - 1:34 pm

    hi Lionsroar,

    i kind of like your guy, he is so funny. when i saw his line ” i think i have gained 10 punds,” i was picturing a guy dip his head into food plate, and lost control and overeaten. then he laid on the couch and thought about you, then sent you this message. actually, i was at work when i read your message, i laugh out loud unconsiously, my coworker all asked me what happened. but the bad thing is that i can not share with them….

    keep us posted…. i want more laugh….

    hope all is well.

  141. #141 by kk on May 29, 2009 - 7:47 am

    hi everybody.

    saggi girl ur talking to someone that has used psychic a lot to understand this taurus man otherwise i would have quit before with him. cause i normally figure out people after a while even gemini ones but these taurus men r unbelievable. i think they re good actors. anyway from my experience u just have to find a good one. most of them r crap, just mind about money and tell u what u want to hear, and i would say “negative” people if u know what i mean.
    if u want i can give u a few ones but if u dont mind through email.these ones r not expensive. normally good ones r not. well i ll explain u that later on.

    lionsroar u crack me up!if u think taurus men would express themselves in a normal way ur wrong. they never express what they feel, or never completely. they fear people can take advantage of them. they re not able to understand people a lot , so they test u and observe u etc.
    but if we did the same with them they would quit instantly.
    with mine i just lost my pacience suddenly the other day. i guess ive been too much patient for 10 months and he took all my energy that after i found out something i exploded and couldnt control myself anymore with anger.and u know what who gives a shit!
    i did what i had to do till now. now if he wants it s his turn to show a lot put some effort cause i have nothing else to give and show and no patience anymore. i think i have for sure a place in heaven saved for me after this, TRUST ME.
    he took advantage of my patience,for being there, for being patient, for being trasparent. u know they re manipulative people and controlling, and coward.
    he put me through a lot of shit and now im gonna stay quite for a while and think about me, AND TRUST ME IT COMES NATURALLY IT S NOT A BIG EFFORT.
    what i ve learnt from him is that now i m gonna be like him regarding men. i am gonna treat em the same way he treated me.

  142. #142 by Jess on May 29, 2009 - 8:53 am

    ++ Wow KK, hope you are OK! You sound furious but i totally understand. You are right about Taurus is about money and only express themselves in an unusual way!!! Really never in my life so far to have met anybody so eccentric! But tellin what you want to hear I’m not sure, atleast mine only tell me straight forward all the shit i dont want to hear (even its true). Calm down and relax and please let us know how the situation going for you.

    ++ Lionsroar, I think its funny the way he text and you should ignore what the ‘text message’ (yeah its all about him him him…) but hey thats his way to show he cares (enough to let you hear news from him ;-))

    ++ SaggiGirl, dont feel bad about going for psychic reading. Its not stupid (it is only stupid when you take the advice and let it lead your life). I never tried psychic reading but I had my fortune reading before (something pretty much like astrology). You know I was talking to my girlfriends about how astrology interests me. And I explain them its not the same as ‘fortune telling’ or psychic reading. And my girlfriends find it interesting too, I think girls are pretty much open minded about this stuff.

    How are things with you? you stop completely with your Taurus? Hope its not too nosy…
    Take care you all.

  143. #143 by kk on May 29, 2009 - 9:28 am

    hey jess sorry. when i was talking about “most of them r crap and negative i meant psychics : )

  144. #144 by saggi girl on May 29, 2009 - 3:17 pm

    Hi Jess,

    It is not nosy at all as we are all women, hahaha! actually, i got a call from him last night after over 2 weeks of silient treatment, i am kind of surprised as i expected not to hear from him again after he said that to me. but i did not answer right away as i was on the phone talking with a guy i just met until 50 minutes later. he left me a message on my voice mail, let me share with you:” hi, XXX, it is me, i just want to say goodnight and see how you are doing. sorry that i have not called for so long, but all i want to is to take a little bit break and been busy too. Give me a call back later when you get chance. i hope you are doing ok and hope you had a good week and everything is geat.” his voice tone is kind of timid, low and nervous. so i called him back as it is not a big deal, as we are all human and have freedom to love or not to love, at least he is honest with his feeling. so, he is kind of cautious and intense when he answered the phone, he asked how i was, i said” i am ok, enemy.’ he was laughing and loosen up immediately, then he told me that he is going to visit his mom and his cousin as he is getting married. but he will be back on sunday, want to stay in touch and will give me a call on sunday night. at this point , it is all ok with me either call or not as he is no longer my attention. i do not want to drive me crazy again. but i was a little bit upset when he asked me how come i never called, is he insane? is he selfish? is he insensitive about people’s feeling? how could he expect me to call after he told me that he does not love me, so i stay silent and asked ” are you senstive? how could you asked me a question like that?”, he said ” i am a sensitive person, that is why i called and want to make sure you are ok.” but i think he is afraid of me mentioning what he said to me before, so he said immediately like” i don’t want to get into that.” i was like” me either, not at all.” he was like” ok, that is good.” we said good night to each other and he wished me a good day today. That is my story with him so far, at this point, i really do not care whatever comes later and i do not want to be with someone who does not love you, not at all.

    Hi, jess, how is with yours? are you done with him?

    Have a nice weekend to you all..

  145. #145 by saggi girl on May 29, 2009 - 3:36 pm

    KK,

    i agree with you, they re manipulative people and controlling, and coward. and also they are cheap, ex mine is cheap. he told me before that there is a difference between being broke and being cheap, but i doubted if it is his case. KK, my suggestion to you is to be true to yourself…….

    keep us posted….

  146. #146 by lionsroar on May 29, 2009 - 6:11 pm

    Hi Ladies.. Here’s my update: I got NOTHING~ HAHAHA

    Guess he doesn’t have anything clever to share with me, yah know something like.. “I had chili on my hotdog for lunch”..LMAO!!!

    I have to say I am enjoying reading the posts and I think that everyone might be onto the “cheap” thing and I missed it in the initial stages… Probably why he always wanted to be at his house watching a DVD.. I think you can rent movies for free from the library.. hahaha

  147. #147 by kk on May 29, 2009 - 6:17 pm

    loooooooooool
    he is unbelievable. he never ask u what did u have instead or something even if stupid questions.
    trust me he is gonna ask u always the same questions after a while.
    these will be non direct q. to get to know details about what u do etc.
    anyway this updating about him is because he goes so slow that he has to talk about bullshits…….u know they go with the flow……..and what a flow

  148. #148 by lionsroar on May 29, 2009 - 10:22 pm

    kk

    Well if that’s how these guys are he is in for a rude awakening, unless you ask me a direct question ..you get nothing out of me. he’ll get the same bullshit back Maybe if when he gets back next weekend that is how this will go away we will sit in his cave, with his ‘cheap/free movie rental’ and comment on the pizza all night until we get into a yawning match and then I can say.. uhm, yah know what this isnt really going anywhere, gotta go.! HA!HA!

    i dont know how everyone says hang in there, Taurus men are worth it.. honestly to go with nothing, upon nothing, but petting thier ego’s on your weekends off to get zip, notta, at best a text or call here or there, or a ‘invitation’ to get to gether once a week in return and hope/wonder if they will one day open up is just too much work for me. Seems like alot of self sacrafice for nothing. I think if its there it is there right from the beginning..Cant imagine ‘thinking for the rest of the year if it’s there… Really isnt it better just to have fun/talk/interact right from the word go and enjoy each other while it lasts and see where it goes from there? Whats the worst that can happen, you make another friend? I dont get their make up at all.. Maybe because I am a Leo.. who knows.. but I’m still going to try like hell and stick to my guns and say bye-bye. Unless of course while he is over seas and gets infected with some disease the activates a part of his brain that he isnt using (you know the one.. the male/dating gene).. I dont think these guys are worth it.. I think they are more full of themselves than us Leo Woman. And girls that saying some shit right there. I should know! hahaha.

    Great weekend to all.. and dont stress over realtionships, there’s always another one around the corner, you cant see it because you havent turned the corner yet .. ๐Ÿ™‚

  149. #149 by Jess on May 30, 2009 - 2:56 pm

    ++ Hey KK, oh sorry I read it wrong, hahaha. Now I got you!

    ++ saggi girl, you are amazingly strong, determine and persistent! (I doubt if you got it this trait from hanging so long with Taurus ;-)) Anyway I admire you! Yes, his message and question are lame… sorry to say it. He is such a selfish to asking you that way after disappear for 2 weeks!!!

    About my situation, I still keep seeing mine. I honestly dont know where it is leading to but I dont have a future plan about us. Just like it that I always have incredible good time, a good/bad joke and he always make me laugh. Still I doubt why I still not falling in love with him. I never asked or mentioned to him about what we are to each other in this relationship… I dont know why… May be the bad experience with my last relationship, I kinda take thing very cautious now and I dont care much anymore if I dont find ‘the one’ for me to settle down with.

    5 months so far after 2 tears and hundred smile, I’m still happy spending time with this taurus as i get to know him better (who knows we might become great friends in the future if i dont fall inlove with him). Also since last time on his birthday, he works harder on me. Now we chat some times and I often find his offline message when I turn on my pc, and got his text more often.

    I asked him about that girl (but i cant tell him how i find out he still contact her about work related) he cant understand why i make such a big deal from his past. He asked me also if i want he can shows me he also find my pics with my ex from internet… He said normally he doesnt put up with such shit, as soon as we need to talk about this, it means its too late already but he guess its not too late with me because we never have plan for each other lol. I like that though! Funny that he thinks I found someone else and just made this excuse for breaking up with him since I told him on his birthday better to be just friends.

    So, I will just keep it going and take thing as it comes. No push nor pull. But as we all know we cant expect too much from Taurus and I feel we can just finish any day… until that day to come, all the best for me and everyone! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  150. #150 by JMC on May 31, 2009 - 9:38 pm

    Hi everyone. I am a Capricorn girl about to marry Taurus man! OMG….he is an April Taurus. He told me on our second date he was going to marry me. Sounds great huh! Well he was very consistent, however reading the blogs I am seeing what everyone is saying even though we are engaged now. BIPOLAR for real. He is very kind, sweet and loyal…very important to me. However can be mean, moody and lack communication. However, I know he doesn’t mean it, just the way he is. I give him his space and act like he is hurting my feelings then he feels bad…sometimes! Although we are engaged, we have come very close to calling things off twice even though while we were dating he always said I was the one for him. Yes this relationship is difficult more so now, but I believe this is just his nature and don’t take it personnel. If you take it personnel it will frustrate you even more. I know it is hard not to at times. But believe me, it is not you or anything you have done. It’s just how they are built. They are much weaker than they seem and very simple. Just make them think they are the boss, you have to use reverse psychology with them. However, I don’t ignore my man to much because sometimes I think that’s what he wants and will fine with it. I don’t leave him to think alone to long or else it may stay that way. I am still learning. Maybe they all need anti-depressants. I think they are their worst enemy and don’t even know why. This is why you can take it personally, because they don’t even know themselves. You just have to be patient. The grass is not always greener on the other side. I feel once he is married he will be fine and a good husband. Like Taurus girl said don’t push them, tell him he is your king, and let him think he running things and he will be yours. I need to take my own advice. Like I said I am still learning.

  151. #151 by Jess on June 1, 2009 - 11:36 am

    Hi JMC,

    Wow finally we got a successful story here! Congratulations on your engagement and a wedding to come ๐Ÿ™‚

    Thank you for sharing your stroy with us. Very good advice from you! I like it what you said about you not ignoring him nor leaving your man to think alone too much or it stays that way! Never have thought about it this way.

    Wish you all the best, and everyone too!

  152. #152 by saggi girl on June 1, 2009 - 4:52 pm

    hi JMC,

    congratulation, like Jess said, we finally got someone that we can share positive thought from as we are all on negative list. You should have come earlier….hehehe…

    i am really glad that things have already worked out for you, how long you have been dating? does he confess his feeling to you often? sorry, i am just curious…

    once again, welcome to this site and come to visit more with your update, so more ladies here could get some tips….

    take care to you all…

  153. #153 by lionsroar on June 1, 2009 - 5:47 pm

    Hey ladies,
    Well I got my postcard from overseas from this wonderful Taurus man… LMAO…

    Post card said, “It will be interesting to see how long this takes to reach you”

    Yep that’s it… Guess he cant get me off his mind…hahahaha…

    I am more conviced now than ever, that he and I will not make it in the least..

  154. #154 by Derin on June 1, 2009 - 8:35 pm

    Yeah congratulations to you JMC! Really nice to hear of a succesful story as Jess said. All the best to you!

    lionsroar, your guy makes me laugh. He can’t get you off his mind indeed! well it seems like he’s going with the flow and but also putting some real effort! can’t you see that? : p I think calling or even sending postcards, that’s a big progress for Taurus men! lol I think you should write a postcard back and just say how long it has taken to reach you. Just that. Unbelievable.

    Well, as for mine. I have nothing. He called me friday evening, saying that it was a busy week, asked me how mine was. Then he said he was invited for dinner at a friend’s that night (a couple actually) and he asked me if I was still going to our summerhouse for the weekend. I told him that our little family trip was cancelled. So he said, well if you are around here too, maybe we can do something for the weekend. I said, ok, why not. Then saturday and sunday passed… but nothing! No call. No message. (in fact he never send messages, always calls) So I called him on Sunday afternoon, thinking maybe there was something wrong… (a typical girlish thought, isn’t, lol) but his phone was turned off. In fact he should have seen that I called as soon as he turned it on but he didn’t call me today either. I think he’s either seeing someone else or I don’t know… this past weekend was an opportunity for us to see each other but he didn’t take it. So I’m not hopeful at all about this guy. Well my friend (who introduced us) called me today and asked me how it was going, I told her it wasn’t going anywhere because we don’t see each other. She was kind of surprised… because you know after all he’s the one who told my friend’s brother that it was going “very good”, just last week! I don’t think he’s sincere. I think he’s calculating. Plus, he changed suddenly after I refused to go to his home and I’m almost sure he spent the weekend with someone else…. oh well. I think I’m done with him. If he calls me tomorrow or this week, I’ll be busy. I’m not someone he can take for granted.

    Love and peace : )

  155. #155 by LIONSROAR on June 1, 2009 - 10:52 pm

    Derin,

    Good for you, be busy. And do not feel bad for every calling anyone after a lull especially when they make a point that they will be in touch.. You have to be who you are. Never be the person you are not, you will only hurt yourself.

    And to everyone on this site, I just want to say: You are all PERFECT, Just as you were intended to be! Never ever let a relationship make you feel other. Most of the time if you think about it when we get pissed off, it is because our “ego’s” are hurt. We are not physically hurt, it’s just our ego’s simply because we expect people to reciprocate the attention, affection or just kindness we give to them. Some are takers, some are givers and the rest are Taurus Men!

    Honestly I’m pretty sure I just got a post card so he can have a open “if” he chooses to contact me after he gets home.

    Chin up gals… you are all B E A ….UTIFUL!

  156. #156 by cloud9 on June 2, 2009 - 3:13 am

    hey all!!

    i just want to update you all on my situation.

    we went to the cookout and A was very attentive towards me. he kept rubbing my back and making jokes that we met on the highway because he was “holding a sign up: will dance for a beer.” all the guests laughed at his jokes.

    anyhow, i notice when we are intimate, he tells me how he is going to take care of me and how he doesn’t want any other man to experience how is feeling with me.

    the funny thing is he won’t say those things any other time!!

    someone had mentioned that you have to let them feel they are the boss and this is true. I always talk to him when making certain decisions. He likes it. I love it.

    however we had an incident…

    i hadn’t seen him in one day(since we manage to spend 4-5 days a week, together. i tend to miss him very quick. so, anyhow, saturday came and i hadn’t seen him since thursday(he was out on business). i knew he was back in town and i knew he was going to call me. instead, i called him. he was busy doing something and called me back. during the las phonecall, he told me that he would call me back at 6:30 and made implication that he would “see what i was donig”(this means he wants to see me). well 7:30 came and i was thinking this is not like him or maybe i was suppose to call him back because i was cooking and may have told him that i would call him. i called him and he said he would call back and he called me around 9ish and by then i was pissed off.

    he then left a text saying: “please don’t be mad…i want to see you.” i was thinking: “fuck you!” but, knowing how he is, i lost control of my emotions and didn’t call him back. it was best that i did it this way because we would have gotten into a serious argument.

    well we ended up talking 8am the next morning and he thought of a resolution. i accepted it and i apologized to him. he also apologized to me. later, we went to the movies.

    as much as i love A, he makes me want to go off on him! its get extremely annoying when he doesn’t say anything and i am suppose to guess what he is thinking or i should accept his silence. i am trying to get him to realize that being silence all the time creates problems and that if i should bend for him, he should bend for me. plain and simple.

    i really don’t think they realize the havoc they cause with their behaviors.

    i am so greatful that someone said to not take personal, what they do. this is true. this is very valuable and helpful in formation.

    i still feel we us getting closer.

    right now, i am looking to buy a house. i will talk with him about it.

  157. #157 by Jess on June 2, 2009 - 3:26 am

    Hey Lionsroar,

    What a beautiful and encouraging words from you! Thanks.

    “Some are takers, some are givers and the rest are Taurus Men!” hahaha this is so funny! ๐Ÿ˜€

    By the way, dont let me say about the postcard hahaha what a typical taurus we all know! ๐Ÿ˜›

  158. #158 by a on June 2, 2009 - 7:09 am

    Hey guys everyone is curious about the Taurus man what I have noticed is they like a challange. Dont be too available thats where I made the mistake. Well I ‘ve been dating a guy for 4 months. We see each other sporadically he didnt want me to tell him I love him early, but during sex he asked me to marry him and if I would have his baby. I dont know what to make of him. I am totally into him. I’m annoying myself at this point all of your ladies stories I can identify with. My guy travels, has multiple children loves to be out of pocket. He’ll not respond to my text or calls for a day or so. Last nite I cried for several hours because I really wanted to be with him. Then today I text him about a situation and here he comes to my rescue. He texted me and sd lets me I replied when he says now. Then he automatically says later is better. I dont respond exactly 15 min later he text gain meet me now. We meet and of course I want to be intimate with him. He comes to my place gives me the oral sex he promised then we have unprotected sex. Im ashamed of myself he has two children and see’s them rarely due to business. I want him so bad I got caught up. My friend counseled me for hours telling me to respect myself. Hopefully I wont get pregnant. It was a quickie at that but he always makes sure he gives me the foreplay. When I asked why he had been so distant he said he wanted to make sure I wouldnt start acting crazy on him and he wanted to make sure he wants to share his me to share his life with him and his kids. Currently he has more income then me and has accomplished more I havent met any of his friends or family just talked to his daughter on the phone occassionaly saying hi. I ‘m becoming obsessed with this guy its sick. I want him to want me but I respect honesty and truth. And he wont give it he just tells me to stay close and he’s not having sex with anyone. I dont know what to think.

  159. #159 by kk on June 2, 2009 - 7:21 am

    hi a,

    they always tell u to be there, to stay close and they say they dont have sex with anyone. they have a weird way to show respect. for me this is not respect.it should come natural not to have sex with anybody apart from u and making u feel like he is doing a favour to u. they still think about themselves when they think of u. they dont wanna get hurt so they keep the distance. and what about us?they shouldnt say they wanna marry u and have kids and then react like that. if they re not sure yet just take it easy and dont step forward and then step back.this is unfair. and they still want us to be there………..WHY?
    These people have to learn not to be selfish first and then we can think about it and we can be there etc.
    i talk from my experience which is similar to urs.i doubt if they say things like these to keep us around, and if they do they re really mean

  160. #160 by FabLibra on June 2, 2009 - 1:38 pm

    Hi All,

    I know its been a while since I wrote, but just know I get on everyday to get a laugh or an awwww in. *wink*

    I dont have an update on my selfish Taurus guy. I did say “hello” to him last Tue. He replied back, but afterwards NADA! Today makes a week that either He or I has said anything to each other. Im trying to hold my ground and keep busy but Im starting to miss him.

    I had the weirdest dream last night where he called and said he wasnt ready to go there with me. I feel that was my subconcious mind telling me what I already “THINK” I know. He makes me want to call him and ask him, but i KNOW i wont get a response. I cant believe we ended up here. As I stated before, the commmunication stopped a long time ago. I shouldve got off that train as soon as I noticed the change. I held on to the fact that I knew he liked me, and developed feelings. Now I feel like hes moved on and fell in love with hisself…LOL! I would like to say a few words to a least know he still KNOWS who I am..But I dont know what to say.

    I empathized with all of you ladies…all I can say is keep your head up, and try not to kill your Taurus. In some way or another we are all in the same boat trying to be rescued/ captured by the Taurus Man.

    Lionsroar said it BEST with her quote

    Chao

  161. #161 by saggi girl on June 2, 2009 - 3:10 pm

    hi all,

    i am really glad that more people shared the stories and experience with us. In general, i think Taurus are nut….

    let me share with you about what happened during the last few days, remeber in my last post, he called me after 2 weeks of silient treatment and acting like nothing happened but a little nervous at the begining of the conversation and he told me that he is visiting his family during the weekend and probably back on sunday and will give me a call? but he did not, i was thinking maybe something is wrong, i know that i said that i wouldn’t care if he calls or not, but i still a little worried about him( he is very reckless driver and he will call if he said that he will). so, i called last night, which was Monday at 10:10pm, he did not answer the phone, so i text him a good night. I assume that he might go to sleep already, but i still worried this morning, so i texted him” you ok”? on my way to work, he responded like” yeah..just have a cold. call you tonight. you ok?” then i responded like” yeah, i am ok but a little worried about my enemy.” he responded” Don’t worry, talk to you tonight.” Jesus, right now, i really do not know what to do with him, they are so bull……

    I am going on a date with another guy this Thursday, wish me luck, everyone…..

  162. #162 by Derin on June 2, 2009 - 10:02 pm

    Lionsroar, thank you for the encouragement. : ) “Some are takers, some are givers and the rest are Taurus Men!” LOL! You rock!!

    But I’m now a little ashamed of myself, because he called me today and said that he couldn’t call me this past weekend because his father was ill and he got hospitalised! His father lives in another city btw, tough he didn’t go visit him, he still found time to watch the matches of his fave team. And on Sunday night he went to a basketball match. (he told me). He’s a fanatic, I get it, and we still don’t have a relationship, so I shouldn’t be complaining about that but although I felt sorry for his father I also felt that he was using him as an excuse. Oh am I bad? I guess I am, lol. Also, I was so sure that he spent the weekend with someone else that I felt sort of paranoid after he told me about his father. Anyway, I told him I called him on Sunday but his phone was turned off, he said really? He didn’t see my number… I was quite cool, there was no resentment in my voice, nothing, well I understand while his father was sick he might not have wanted to do anything else, except watching the matches but this is sort of getting weird. I don’t even know why he calls me, in fact. He said he’s also busy today and tomorrow, and on Thursday there’s another match (!!!) and then he’s going to his hometown to see his father this weekend, so he said, he’ll call me and we’ll meet before he leaves. Probably Friday… Well I said ok… but I’ll be busy when he calls. I’ll tell him that we’ll meet when he comes back… oh and even if he didn’t ask I told him that I was going to see a dance performance tonight (which was true) Is it pathetic? lol i just wanted to look busy as well… haha.

    Fablibra, I so understand what you mean. I also feel like we have entered a deadend street already, like our communication (if there’s any, lol) depends on his calls, his schedule etc. When you say he’s moved on and fell in love with himselfโ€ฆ wow, I think actually that’s so true for not just Taurus men but for any guy. They don’t want to sacrifice anything and also want to have something with you only on their own terms. How wonderful.

    saggigirl, best of luck to you with your new date! Let us know how it went.

  163. #163 by Jess on June 3, 2009 - 7:38 am

    Hey saggi girl,

    Be yourself and best of luck to you! Yes keep us posted how it was going (hope you are not running into another Taurus… LOL)

  164. #164 by saggi girl on June 3, 2009 - 1:47 pm

    hi Jess,

    this guy is not a taurus, he is a saggi same as me. wow, we can see how similar we are when we talked over the phone. he asked me so many questions like” what kind of flower i like, what kind of romantic moment i would think of, do i like chocolate. well, so many questions.” but the ironic part of all these are that Taurus guy never asked me the questions like that. He bought me roses on valentine’s day but when i counted, it is 11 but not 12, we both were laughing. then he was telling me that from now on he will count the flower whenever he buys it. I guess they are just so different…….

    he called me last night and he almost lost his voice due to a very bad cold. i feel so bad for him as i did not believe it when he texted me saying that he caught a cold. so we did not talk long just a few minutes as i can barely hear him. he said that he just want to say good night and make sure that i am ok, then he kissed me good night and said that he will call me on Thursday. Jess, i think i still love him and i do not feel bad about this, i think we can not force us not to love somebody but what we can do is to take care ourself. He was so soft yesterday when we were on the phone( i guess maybe he was sick, has to be soft, hahaha) especially when he said” i will call you Thursday, ok, babe?” well, i am just that simple and easy…..and totally forgot that he said that he does not love me……

    i will keep you guys posted about my date with Saggi….

  165. #165 by Jess on June 3, 2009 - 2:21 pm

    Hi saggi girl,

    Wow, what a coincident, my Taurus also got sick! I didnt think he got really sick until he text me today that he just really start to recover. Because he almost never get sick (as far as I know) so when he told me on Sunday about him vomit and more I thought it was again his bad joke so i ignored it… (and no i dont feel bad…hehe)

    Well, from what I read, you seem to know well what you should do and how you feel and you accept it without a problem. Also I think its very nice because you put yourself out there for a date not to retaliate your Taurus guy but to give yourself a chance to be happy. The saggi guy sounds sweet on the phone but i guess you need time and more to learn about him in person but atleast this is going to keep your mind busy away from the Taurus and for you to see things (men) in different ways.

    Saggi girl, I want to say something may be I’m not in a good position to say and I could be wrong but I doubt if you can really take his ‘I dont love you’ word seriously. I know atleast my Taurus guy can be very mean and say mean thing he doesnt really mean it when he got hurt or got attacked. I would let his action prove his words either negatively or positively. And oh, dont get too soft too soon with his ‘babe trick with a soft sick sound’!!! LOL.

    Anyway you are on the good side now, have fun with your date tomorrow! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  166. #166 by saggi girl on June 3, 2009 - 2:29 pm

    Derin,

    did you leave a message with him when his phone was off. if not, there is no phone number shown after he turned back on. If you did leave a message, that would be a different story.

    i think at least he is honest with you by telling you that he went to a game. they ARE selfish, period. like ex mine, his mother was diagnosed with cancer, he just went there to accompany his mom for surgery, then he drove back next day. I guess it is hard to understand them because i will at least stay for a few days with mom if i was in the same situation. He did the similar thing before when his mother was sick, he just spent 3 hours with me and told me that he wanted to go home earlier as he is worried about his mom, but he still watch TV when he’s back home. I thought the same thing as i do not understand how his mom’s sickness has anything to do with spending time together, as it does nothing help the situation. I guess that is who they are.

    there is also one time when he told me that he can not come to see me as he wanted to stay at home to do some work. I was pretty upset as i think it is an excuse. he told me ” i do understand you feel upset if i spend time with some guy friend instead of you, but i just want to stay at home to do some work,” but i guess maybe that is an excuse, sometimes, they want to do something on their own, or just relax, does not want to give out the affection when they are not in the mood of doing that, don’t you have that moment as well when you just want to stay on your own, as i do. does that mean that i do not want to spend the time with my friend forever or i do not like them at all? no, just not that moment. so, do not take it too personal. if he does not want to spend time with you at all, he won’t call you.

    i know it is hard to deal with them, but do not take it too personal….. but i think the thing is that you can not focus on them especially at the initial stage of dating with them, i kind of obssessed with him at the begining, he felt choked. he was telling me before that no man will bear a girl like that, you have to have your own life, not just focus on him. as he has to worry if i would be mad if he did not call or did not spend time together.”

    you are still getting to know each other at this point, so take it easy……

    good luck to you.

  167. #167 by saggi girl on June 3, 2009 - 2:46 pm

    HI Jess,

    thanks for your message and i will keep you posted about my date with saggi….

  168. #168 by Derin on June 3, 2009 - 9:58 pm

    saggigirl, no i didn’t leave a message, but we both use the same operator and it has a service that shows you who called you while your phone was turned off… so i’m pretty sure he’s getting the same service. plus, the job he is doing requires him to keep his phone on all the time… even if it’s weekend. so that was weird.

    you are right he’s honest with me… i guess maybe the reason also why he tells me that he’s watched the match is to let me know that it IS important for him… he’ll watch the match no matter what, and I should get used to it!

    what you told about your ex is really so similar to what i’m experiencing now but I’m not obsessed yet, or am i? lol ok I maybe a little obsessed because I’m not used to being neglected like this but apparently everything is going fine on his side because you know he told my friend’s brother that it was going “very good” ! So far I have called him only twice and the second one was when his phone was off you know, well I think he is probably very much ok with the fact that I don’t call him… so keeps his freedom. What you said is quite reasonable, I’ll try not to take it personal. I’m having my own life… but I just wish he was aware of it too… lol

    anyway, thank you so much saggi girl, as you said we are just getting to know each other, so I’ll take it easy… : )

    waiting for the good news with your saggi guy.

  169. #169 by lionsroar on June 3, 2009 - 10:28 pm

    “Yes Virginia there is a Santa Clause”
    UPDATE ALERT!!!

    Hey all.. guess what… Meathead (my newest name for him)
    ACTUALLY SPOKE TO ME ON THE PHONE FROM OVER SEAS TODAY!!

    Wow he really used his cell phone and called me at my office today..*probably set him back around $10.00 HAHAHA…Best part I havent heart squat other than the few posts I have told you all about in 3 weeks.. he comes home Friday.. today is Wednesday!! Hello…. 2 days before he comes home and NOW he calls. (let us not forget the postcard).. The conversation was simple… all about him. No – No I did not get a miss you, how are you, nor did I get a invite to see him when he return this weekend… Just a typical one sided conversation… hahaha

    A couple of things hit me.. like the postcard, this was a ‘keep in touch’ – ‘leave the door open’ tactic he is using in case he wants to see me. *Ass doesnt get that it is my choice.

    Also, I have decided the perfect birthday present for these guys are MIRRORS… That way they can talk to themselves and hear what they want to as safely as they do and they will be only dealing with themselves..fricken cave dwellers they are..

    Also I think Taurus men should all be born with Glass Belly’s, that way they can see how far their heads are shoved up their asses… ๐Ÿ™‚

  170. #170 by JMC on June 4, 2009 - 6:38 am

    Hi everyone and thanks for your kinds words. Iam happy to have found this site as well.

    Saggigirl states:
    I am really glad that things have already worked out for you, how long you have been dating? does he confess his feeling to you often?

    We have been dating for two years and yes when he is ready he will pour his heart to me. About 50% of the time. In the beginning all the time and was very, very attentive. Personally I think we met at the right time. It’s all about timing. I shortly dated another Taurus guy, he was nice but saw signs like you all stated in previous posts. “He just wasnt that into me”. So I moved on. I believe sign or no sign when a guy loves you he will commitment no matter what sign. So for all of you who dealing with Taurus guys and it’s not going well just keep dating. When a guy loves you he will show you, not just talk the talk. My guy is consistent for the most part, but when things are not going well in his life he can sometimes feel bad about the relationship. It doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t love you he just feels bad that he can’t give you all the things he wants to give you as a man. During this time I just stick by him really hard even if he doesn’t want me to. But like I said it hasn’t been easy but I am very determined but that’s becuz I have a ring! But I just think it all about timing and endurance. Hope that helps.

  171. #171 by kk on June 4, 2009 - 7:06 am

    hi again.
    i wanted seriously TO ask something to anybody that knows taurus men please.

    my taurus man hurt me, i hurt him back but nothing compare to what he s done.
    i am heart broken.
    he screwd it up but im ready again to pursue with my effort. knowing him he focuses just on what i ve done after as an excuse not to take his responsabilities.

    i sent him an email to tell him how i feel and what he caused by hurting me, that i didnt expect that from him at all.
    but still forgave him.

    he replied back saying just that he wouldnt do anything to hurt me ( I REMIND EVERYBODY HE DID FIRST) and that he is really disappointed with me(????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
    he said hope u gonna be happy in ur future.

    as soon as read this freaking email i called him strait away he unswered he was calm but when i started reminding him about what he s done he just focused on what i ve done after,( basically nothing major or nothing that hurt him).he then started to make me feel worse with his words, i guess cause he felt like shit.

    i cant say a lot about what happened on this post cause i dont know who reads that .

    does anybody know if I think that this thing with him it s screwd up or him answering back the email and phone is a good sign he doesnt want to stop?

    i should be the one to tell him to f.ck off but i didnt and instead of taking his responsabilities cause too proud he screws it up more.

    I AM CONFUSED HURT AND SERIOUSLY NEED HELP PLEASE.
    does anybody know

    PS: i ve been always there for him accepeted till now all his mistakes and never betrayed him, and this is how he thanks me. i think it s easier for them to find an excuse to screw up things instead of getting more committed cause they re cowards

  172. #172 by lionsroar on June 4, 2009 - 1:52 pm

    KK

    I am sorry to hear of your pain, but I can tell my reading your post that you are definetly shaken to the core with this issue.

    It sounds to me like he was taking your call, etc.. so that he is not the bad guy in his eyes. it is always easy to point out the errors of others it is the hardest to look in the mirror and look at our own faults. Ask you self this question now.. if he acts like this now, how would handle anything extremely important that would come up in your lives together say 10 years from now, a tragedy?, a death?, a human error that caused issues?… if you can not honestly say he would work with you, forgive you and give unconditionally as it sounds you can do for him … tell him good bye and thank the heavens that you were blessed to find out NOW how this person is, because honestly a relationship is about the good, bad and ugly, it is like a dance; when one person moves left your partnere should move right..a beautiful waltz. It should not be when you move left they walk off the floor!. Say what you mean and mean what you say. there is nothing worse than being ALONE IN A MARRIAGE/COMMITED RELATIONSHIP…

    This I can tell you from first hand experience.

  173. #173 by saggi girl on June 4, 2009 - 2:23 pm

    hi KK,

    i am sorry to hear that and hopefully you will feel better. I do not know what happened with you guys as you did not articulate what had happened and it is hard for me to relate.

    but in general, i would say give it a time if that is really just a small argument, but if that is a really big thing like betraying you, that i would not forgive. so, it really depends.

    one thing i know about my taurus guy is that whenever we had an argument like misunderstanding or he said something hurtful, i would hang up the phone immediately as i need to respect myself. one time, he said something really bad even though it’s just for venting his angerness, i hang up the phone immediately even though i know he hates being hung up but i did. so, what he did is that he did not call back right away as that was late night, but he called back next day during my lunch break and left me a message saying that he needs to talk,but i did not call back right away until he called again during the evening, we talked it out and apologized to each other even though i did not think i was wrong but i think he expected it from my side too.

    but if that was my mistake, like one time, i said some very hurtful thing to vent my anger, he did not say anything at that moment, but next day i felt so bad about what i said to him, so i called him to apologize and told him that i did not mean it. so he asked me if i really mean the apology, i said yes, then he forgave me.

    so, like i said, it really depends how big that matter is, because if that is something really cross the line, i would stick to my position even risk losing the relationship. i can spoil him but not without respect for myself……

    sorry, i can not help further as you did not give any detail… hope you will feel better…

  174. #174 by Jess on June 4, 2009 - 3:30 pm

    Hi KK,

    I’m so sorry to hear your situation. But please calm down first. Lionsroar put it best on how a relationship is about good bad and ugly. As I dont really know your exact situation so what I’m telling you now is based on my experience with my Taurus and how I see your situation.

    I think he answered your phone and email is because he is at his own peace now and really conclude (or truely convinced himself) that it was not his fault so he doesnt have any reason to hide from you or not answering your phone/email. I’m not sure you want to take this as a good sign.

    I think at this moment its not a matter of who hurts who first because its not doing anything better discussing it or to point out to him what he did first. Besides I dont think you make any good out of arguing with taurus; not only you are not making any good from it, he will only take it as a negative sign for relationship if any.

    And I would tell you DONT try to hurt him back. Atleast I know my Taurus motto ‘you fuck wtih me and I fuck you more’ he can be the worst enemy you ever want. I know mine can return the same favor but in double or tripple intensity.

    Like Lionsroar said, you should think if he worths anything at all meaningful in the future.

    Cheer up!

  175. #175 by Derin on June 4, 2009 - 8:22 pm

    hi kk

    you write that “he said hope u gonna be happy in ur future.” I think this is not a good sign. I mean it looks as if he’s letting go of your relationship, so I think you should move on and not waste any more of your precious time with this man. I’d hate to say anything to hurt you or offend you, so I wish I could say something positive, but from what you wrote, his answering your call or writing an e-mail back may mean for him that he’s just being polite because even though it may look like those are positive actions what he wrote or said indicates otherwise. So I agree with Jess on that.

    I don’t really know what really happened between you two either but his reactions and words say it all, at least to me. However, you are the one experiencing this, so you should know better.

    I had a bf once, whenever I got angry about something he managed to make me feel like it was all my fault and never let me pursue the issue further, because he was getting frustrated then. It took me a while to understand it was all about him, he was the center of the world and I had no right to express my dissastisfaction in any way. I’m so glad now that i have left him, he was going to make my life miserable but as I said it took me a while to understand this because I was in love with this “thoughtless” and “selfish” man. When I left him, I was still in love with him so it was a very hard decision but I had to do this for myself because I could also see my future with him, which was not very promising, I’m telling you.

    So, no matter what you decide, best of luck to you. Remember please, the most important person in your life is you and don’t let anyone to hurt you and then put the blame on you. Anyone who does this is not worthy of your love and attention any more.

  176. #176 by saggi girl on June 5, 2009 - 1:50 pm

    hi all,

    i went on a date with saggi guy last night, the date went well as we are all easygoing person, but i do not feel the chemistry or anything, then he walked me home and hugged me for good night.

    i think we can be good friend as we have so many to talk about and we are like 2 peas in a pod, but chemistry…..?

    i got a call from taurus last night when i was on a date, i did not return the phone call until i got home around 10pm, he went to bed already, so we brifely talked like a couple of minutes and he said he would call me during the weekend, then we kissed good night…… I think we are in peace now, i do not know how the future will be but at least right now we are in peace, i will keep going on date with next guy, remember, i signed up for dating services, they will keep sending me referrals……, so this way i can feel that i am in control of myself…instead of waiting for taurus…, so i can save a lot of dramas….

    i think that we all should do the same thing, keep the option open, this way we can free up ourself and taurus….., leave the future to God…

  177. #177 by Derin on June 5, 2009 - 2:52 pm

    saggi girl, i see what you mean, if there’s no chemistry, then there isn’t, i don’t believe love at first sight but i believe in chemistry at first sight : )

    and you are so right, i’ll keep my options open too. today my taurus has called me at noon, which i was expecting, he said he was going to his hometown to see his father from tonight, but he decided to go in the morning (his father got hospitalised again) he asked me what i was doing tonight, i told him we are going to our summer house and we’ll spend the weekend there, which is not quite true, we are going tomorrow morning and I’ll be with friends tonight : ) . he said he’s gonna spend the night at home then , he was quite tired. wished me good time and said we’ll talk when i come back. so I’m planning to call him maybe tomorrow or sunday to ask about his father, but that’s all. I’m quite neutral now, I’m going with the flow. and I really didn’t feel like going out with him tonight because I feel as if he is asking me out not because he really wants to… I don’t know. I feel as if he’s squeezing me in the little “free time” he has, 2 weeks passed since we’ve last seen each other for God’s sake. maybe that’s all my paranoia because after all don’t they say that a man who doesn’t wanna call never calls at all. anyway, this time I’m busy…

    well saggi girl, as you said i’m in control now, we should free ourselves and not get stuck with one guy… leaving the future to God, best option.

  178. #178 by kk on June 5, 2009 - 4:01 pm

    hi everybody

    thanx for the support and suggestions. i put myself on god’s hands. will see if He wants me to be with him it will happen no matter what.
    thanx again.x

  179. #179 by clou9 on June 6, 2009 - 9:04 am

    Hey All,

    I had gone through the posts and I want to point out a few things. First, let’s keep in mind the Taurus tongue is sharp like a razor. One of my closests friends is one. I love her to death, but can only take so much of her. I have told her on many occassions what she said was offensive and she apologized. Every other word is F*** this or F**** that, but when I need her for anything, she is right there, for me.

    My Taurus man, as I refer to as “A” knows how sharp his tongue is and is very careful as to what he says. However, he is always prepared for ANY verbal disputes. So, I say that to say that some Taurus guys have either no real understanding of the damage they cause or don’t care or they are only going by how they feel. A has stressed in many ways that he is mindful of my feelings. I think this comes after the realization of hurting people in the past.
    Yes, I let him be the boss, but best believe I am pulling some strings. Taurus men have to feel in control and when they do, its smooth sailing. Lol!

    Timing is everything. I think once the taurus guy realizes and actually understand the impact they have caused, they will redirect their actions.

    Please, let them be. You must also control your feelings, until they start expressing theirs more. Trust me, you will win every time. I know its difficult, but you will come out on top. The funny thing is, they will look at you side ways when you want to go off on them because of how you feel. They are taking their TIME! You can not rush them.

    If you want your taurus man:

    KEEP THE FOCUS on yourself, I know…
    I have to stop and charge my phone and I need to get back to sleep, but I will get back on to say more.

    Remember: REDIRECT YOUR FOCUS!

  180. #180 by lionsroar on June 6, 2009 - 8:41 pm

    HE’S BACK………. And guess what? I got a call today to let me know he made it home safe yesterday, and that he was tired and they only had budlight at one airport, no other options which totally upset him and yes.. he has an a ton of weeds in his yard…

    HAHAHA….Oh yah he also said on his voicmail (I didnt take his call) that he doesnt think he has any plans Sat. or Sunday although he wasnt sure, if I wanted to come by GIVE HIM A CALL and he will let me know if he’s open!!…

    HAHAHA… Had to share that, wow he loves himself more than Brangalina!! No I am not going there.. if he wants to see me ever again, he can be a real person and ask me directly… I have never been sloppy seconds in 40 plus years and would not start today.. On a better note I have a date tonight… wish me luck.

    Best to everyone and remember YOU ARE PERFECT JUST AS YOU WERE INTENDED TO BE!!

  181. #181 by saggi girl on June 7, 2009 - 1:18 am

    hi, Lionsroar,

    good luck to you and have fun…..

  182. #182 by saggi girl on June 7, 2009 - 1:19 am

    Clou9,

    you are so right. i agree.

  183. #183 by Jess on June 8, 2009 - 12:56 pm

    Hi everyone,

    Saggi girl– your very short update about your date says so much of how much chemistry you (dont) have LOL.

    Derin–keep busy and stay focusing on yourself please lol.

    Cloud9– wake up yet? waiting to be continued! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    KK–hope everything alright and that you feel better now.

    Lionsroar– keep the entertainment coming. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Just stopping by to say hi. Not feeling so well lately may be its that time of the month coming soon again. I’m going to bed in an hour.

    Good night and take care everyone!

  184. #184 by saggi girl on June 8, 2009 - 1:40 pm

    hi, Jess,

    you are so funny, yeah, it is true that it says how much of the chemistry we had based on how many lines i put in…..

    i saw my taurus guy yesterday, we spent 2 hours together as he worked 6 days a week, but he is still new to the job and has a lot of reading to do. he went home earlier. Let me tell you something which is so typical of taurus:

    i walked him out to where he parked his car but it is kind of chilly yesterday. I was wearing a short sleeve inside my house, so when i was leaving with him, he told me to wear a coat, i said that i am ok, he said “no, wear a coat.” i insisted that i am fine. so, he was wearing a long face like ” i am serious, wear a coat.”, so, i did. and then, we went out, after we walked 2 blocks, he said” i want you to go home, i do not want you to walk me all the way to the car, it is too far.” i said that i am ok, it is earlier afternoon, i am ok. he said” ok, another block, then go home.” we are like this back and forth a few times, so i explained to him that i wanted to walk even though it is chilly, but i want to walk, he said” ok, another few blocks, you have to go home.” God, i was telling myself, he has to be in control of everything, then i listened to him and turned back. he said” i will call you later before i go to bed.”

    Jess, did you get what i am trying to hint, ” they need to be the boss.”

    hope you will be ease on your day of the month….. i had just done mine…. hehe.

  185. #185 by Jess on June 8, 2009 - 2:00 pm

    hahaha Sggi girl, dont let me pick on you on how many lines you talked about your taurus guy… now who is funny! lol! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Yeah saggi girl, let him (atleast think he is) be the boss all he likes and in this case it sounds reasonable with good intention and care so… i guess you dont mind at all ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Well, we all know how Taurus are so irrisistable with their eccentric charm! I better not pick on you too much it will be my turn soon (to get mad at taurus) anyday…

    Ok so now we all are in peace hahaha (are we really? ;-))

    Okok, i go to bed now, just come back for a finaly check!

  186. #186 by Mist flower on June 9, 2009 - 11:51 pm

    Dear girls, dear sisters,

    I am so glad I found you here! When reading all posts about Taurus man I don’t feel so lonely anymore. My story with the Taurus started about a month ago. Till now I always avoided Tauruses because their longing for the material wealth, self-absorption and carrierism never attracted me. I am a Libra with ascendant Cancer. Since I met this guy during a wild dance party I never stopped thinking of him. During the party he told me ‘Well, I would like to meet you again’. A week later he send me an e-mail and invited me to meet him in the park. We were sitting on a bench, talking about our jobs and about our passions in life. Then he touched softly my face when saying goodbye. Somehow this gesture of him kept staying in my mind. Two weeks later, after I returned from a short trip to France I noticed he had send me an e-mail asking how my trip was. I called him and we met the same day. He told me he doesn’t have so much time but he would like to see me. We went to another park and I showed him my favorite tree there. We went sitting under the tree. He was silent. We were looking at the late afternoon sky, listening to the birds and observing the landscape. Suddenly he hugged me and started kissing me. I was surprised, I didn’t expect this so early. And then I said things for which I really regret now. I told him many things about me – that for me such an intimate contact comes a bit early, that I was not having any intimacy with a man since 5 years because I am living with my ex-boyfriend who is very depressed and doesn’t go out for months and I am taking care of him. I told him I would like to marry and have children. He asked why I don’t ask a friend to help me with having children. Can you imagine, I said this to him on the 3th meeting with him. It was stupid to do so. He told me how I know he is the man of my life and then he made a sarcastic remark ‘ Does it mean that after I sleep with you I have to marry you?’ We were excited when hugging each other and then he told me ‘I want you!’. I told him I am looking for a flat for myself and I am planning to move and live alone. At the end of this evening I told him I would like to cook for him soon. The following two days were a kind of disaster for me. I cried a lot and had a self-pity on me. All my bad memories with men came suddenly up. The Taurus guy succeed in provoking my female side. He didn’t call me for 3 days. When I called him he asked ‘Are you ok?’
    This simple question made me very sad. We were having very formal conversation on the phone. He told me he might call me in the weekend but he didn’t. On Monday, after having delete his phone number and e-mail address I found his number somewhere and called him without any hesitation. I said I am very sorry for my behavior last time we met. I told him I was exaggerating and I am very sorry I said so many things without thinking. He was calm and said ‘I didn’t call you during the weekend because I was having lot of work to do.’ He is leaving tomorrow for 3 weeks to Italy for his job. He also said on the phone ‘Somehow I will find way to see you before I leave’. Today he called me and said he is very busy so he doesn’t have any time to meet. He would send me an e-mail when he has the time to do it.
    I m very curious what is he going to write me. Maybe he doesn’t want to see me any more because of my problematic situation. Or maybe when saying he is going to mail me he thinks of keep going with me? What do you think? Any comment will be helpful!

  187. #187 by lionsroar on June 10, 2009 - 12:02 am

    mist flower & Gang..

  188. #188 by lionsroar on June 10, 2009 - 12:13 am

    mist flower & Gang…

    Hello Ladies, Lions Roar here. Yah I’m like napkins at a party always around!! hahaha..

    Well Mist Flower if you read the posts, re-read you have the celestial twin of the meat head Taurus I met. Just different countries. Lucky Gal.. look on the bright side you will have something to laugh about and compare your past, present and future too. It’s to soon to stress! Do not make apologies for expressing your emotions to anyone. For whatever reason you needed to get it out, it had to happen. It could have been him or someone on a train, street corner or store. Life is funny that way. Dont take yourself that serious (its just your ego kicking the shit out of you right now, nothing more than thoughts in your head) and NEVER APOLOGISE FOR BEING OPEN! It is probably one of your best qualities. Just sit back and see what he does… let it go and flow.. As far as him touching your face… let me give you a trick.. Any time you end an evening or date, before walking out the door, etc.. turn back and give them a ‘bubbly happy smile’… it’s the same shit, just the girl version. That will burn in his brain just as long. Every man loves a happy, carefree, smiling woman.

    Everyone else.. Okay ditched the Taurus this weekend, had my date.. it was okay for me, great for him. Soooooo we all know no chemistry on my end: Aint gonna happen.

    Anyway Meathead called me Monday, Yep I gave him a call back today with the old “sorry my cell phone was on the charger”.. Hey it beats changing a flat tire right? LOL…

    Anyway, he has to travel again tomorrow will be back Friday.. So I say. Oh that’s nice, have a safe trip. He then
    says, “I will talk to you when I get back, Later”… “I got no plans, would like to see you again” HAHAHHAHA… We have hit 4 weeks of nothing but his stupid texts, etc..no contact. Now he is chasing. I gotta tell you the guy is funny. Now he is making the lion want to play..love the chase.

    That’s all I got. Hope you all are doing well. Remember girls without bad relationships you would have nothing to compare the keepers to. Thank Goddess for the ones that didnt cut it so that we may find the keepers.. Your all perfect just as you were intended to be, not for you to prove it.. its for others to find it!!

  189. #189 by Mist flower on June 10, 2009 - 1:41 pm

    Hello Lion’s Roar,

    Thank you for your encouraging message! You are completely right – I shouldn’t be shamed for being open and showing emotions. I kept for so long my fears, emotions and feelings for myself that now the first person who gives me attention and who I like have to witness my frustration. I hope he didn’t see it as a frustration. Anyway, before starting something new with someone I have to clear the road and make myself ready. You are also right when writing I take myself to serious. By avoiding intimacy with men for so long I probably developed a kind a fear and give much more meaning to it. From experience I know I can’t expect someone to make me happy – this is my own task.
    I see relationships as a contribution to the personal growth. I’ve learned most from unhappy relationships. Now I feel ready to face new challenges.
    Thank you for your advise!
    I’ll keep you informed about further developments with the Taurus guy.
    Good luck with your Taurus!

    All love with you,

    Mist flower

  190. #190 by saggi girl on June 10, 2009 - 2:13 pm

    Hi Mist Flower and Gang,

    you need to calm down. sister…., you will be fine.

    when i saw this line, sorry it makes me laugh: “He was calm and said โ€˜I didnโ€™t call you during the weekend because I was having lot of work to do.”, It is so typical of taurus’s behavior, they are slow to fall in love but you are buring the other end. You need to cool off your feeling, sister, otherwise, you will look so dramatic for him which they hate most. It is just your 3rd meeting, you were open to him about your dream and plan in life, it is nothing to aplogize about, you are true to yourself as you are not playing around. Taurus love family-oriented woman, so i do not think you did anything wrong even though it is too earlier to discuss about it but you were just randomly chating, right? It is fine.

    like i said above, the thing you need to do is to cool off your feeling and let him roll the boat to you. I have seen a lot of postings on different sites, they all talk about feeling control especially that you are just on the initial stage of dating, if you have already been crazy about him like this degree, i doubted your following journey…., how could you survive. if you want to talk about something, come here to talk instead of acting dramatic to him….

    i think he likes you, but do not act too crazy about him(no offense). Let me tell you one thing, which was what happened with my taurus, he dated a girl before me like 6-7 months, he dropped her after he knows me, that is what he told me. so, I asked him why and when he did that, he stated that he dropped her right after we started talking and the reason was that she was acting too crazy and scary even though he knows that she will give him everything he wanted but he said that it was too uncomfortable and scary to stay. I think at some point, they wanted you to be loyal to them but not too crazy about them before he felt crazy about you, it will scare them off. I am saggi and i am dramatic sometimes, but i gave people space and also wanted space for myself too. But also i found that itwas very hard not to be clingy when i met him, and i was never like this before. i guess they did have irrisistable eccentric charm,(like Jess said), hehe.

    so, back off a little bit and control your feeling…… as they do not expect you to be this serious about them this earlier… you will be ok.

    by the way, welcome…. sister

  191. #191 by Mist flower on June 10, 2009 - 2:45 pm

    Hello Saggi girl and Gang,

    Thank You for your tips and advises! Yes, I am to tensed and intense and have to change this attitude. It brings me always trouble with men. When I am in love, or think I am, I want to give everything of myself at once. Maybe my Chinese horoscope helps for this – I am a Fire Horse. Being in love brings me in confusion. I’ll cool off my feelings and do something good for the world.
    Thank you for making me aware! I’ll not forget to see the bigger picture instead of focussing only on the thought how to win the heart of this charming Taurus.

    Light and Love to all,

    Mist flower

  192. #192 by Jess on June 10, 2009 - 3:34 pm

    Mist flower!

    Are you French? and you are horse? wow I’m also a horse ๐Ÿ˜€ (what is your zodiac sign by the way?)

    Welcome to the club ๐Ÿ˜‰

  193. #193 by Mist flower on June 10, 2009 - 4:08 pm

    Hi Jess,

    Thank you! Are you Fire Horse too?

    I live in Holland. My zodiac sign is Libra with ascendant Cancer and Moon in Aquarius.

    greetings,

    Mist Flower

  194. #194 by saggi girl on June 10, 2009 - 4:24 pm

    Holland, hm, good place to live, i have been there once and went to the red light area like a few year ago, it is SO cool…. hehe

  195. #195 by Jess on June 10, 2009 - 5:02 pm

    Mist flower,

    You sound like you have some knowledge about astrology.
    Well, call me crazy but I happend to be curious about it also since I met this Taurus… hahaha! what an interesting side effect. ๐Ÿ˜‰ So I did some research to find out I’m Aries with ascendant in Pisces, moon in Aquarius, and Venus in Taurus (but no idea at all what it means… hahaha)

    According to Chinese astrology, I’m an earth horse. And it reflects very well my personality…

    About relationship with Taurus, patient is the key and dont get caught in the act of romance or get too carried away. I think you will get about the same advice and idea from us as we are somewhat in the same boat… hahaha.

    Good luck to us girls!

  196. #196 by Derin on June 10, 2009 - 10:21 pm

    Hello Gang ( i love this word, lol) and welcome aboard Mist Flower : )

    I agree with what lionsroar and saggi girl said, and just like Jess mentioned we should be patient and focusing on ourselves. Cloud9, thanks for your insightful post too… I have been trying to focus on myself all this time but at the same time checking our horoscope forecasts daily, visiting tarot sites online… lol. I have never done such things before but now I can’t even recognize myself.

    Well, my Taurus was going to his hometown to see his sick father you know. So I called him last Sunday to ask about his father, he said he couldn’t go because something came up the last minute, but his father was ok etc. He was outside at a shopping mall. He thought I was still at our summerhouse but I told him we came back that morning. He was surprised but then he said “ok you take a rest today”, we’ll talk during the week. Nothing about “let’s meet”… nothing. Anyway, since then he hasn’t called…. I’m still expecting he might before the weekend and he’ll probably go away again during the weekend, maybe we won’t be able to see each other again. This is getting really frustrating but I think I wouldn’t be too hung up on him like this if he didn’t act like a damn tortoise!! He’s so sloooow. Maybe he doesn’t want to meet up at all but then why does he call? Plus, all the tarot cards I have chosen so far indicate positive (please hope you are not thinking bad of me because I’m involved with tarot now, it’s embarassing I know ;/ ), so I still have hope but at the same time I feel silly. I don’t really know what he makes of my not calling him at all (I called him only twice) but how can I call him while he’s busy all the time? My friend who introduced us, told me that maybe I should invite him somewhere but what am I gonna do if he tells me there’s a match he has to watch that day? That would be embarassing. Maybe this is better, maybe I can’t do with a man whose number one priority is sports, not the girl he likes. He acts immaturely. God, they are so immature.

    Anyway, I met another guy last week when I went out with friends, (he’s my age) he found me on facebook later and asked me out, I’ll probably go and have coffee with him, though I don’t really like him but I didn’t want to refuse him either (in fact I refused him first but he really insisted, first asked me to dinner and then to coffee) He’s a Libra btw, i have never dated a Libra, we’ll see.

    Take care all, and patience… breathe in and breathe out… that’s what I’m doing now.

    Peace.

  197. #197 by saggi girl on June 11, 2009 - 2:33 pm

    hi, Derin

    don’t feel embrassing for checking horoscope forecasts daily as that is what i did before.

    i have some thoughts about your situation, it seems that you have only met each other once, i mean the first blind date, right? did you meet after that at all? I think you can ask your friend to ask him if you guys have met again, like a casual inquiry. you know.

    how long you have been talking? how often you talk?

  198. #198 by Derin on June 11, 2009 - 4:55 pm

    Hi saggi girl,

    after the blind date, we met twice in a row. We first had a very nice dinner together and then he called me the next day and asked me if I wanted to go to the cinema, I said ok, then later that evening he called again and asked why don’t we go to his house instead, we’ll watch dvd and have dinner and then he’ll bring me back home. I said I thought we could meet at a shopping mall instead (i didn’t wanna go to his house right away) he said ok, but when he came to the mall he was somewhat different from the previous night. his face was kinda sullen. I think he didn’t like the fact that I didn’t come to his home. (and then we saw that horrible movie called “he’s not that into you”… horrible bad awful movie for potential couples). Then after that day we have never met again : ) He’s been always busy. But he called me once in 4 days or something, but now it’s been almost a week since we last talked. (I called him to ask about his father last Sunday) My friend’s brother actually asked him last week how it was going between him and me, and he said it was going “very good”. Interesting, right? This week they were supposed to meet again, they go to basketball games together and he was going to inquire casually like you said…

    So what are your thoughts? : )

  199. #199 by Derin on June 11, 2009 - 5:03 pm

    Oh and we first had our own date, apart from the blind date, on May 22 I think. But of course after the blind date, his calling me and asking me out took him like 2 weeks, lol. hen one week later we actually met. So we met on May 22, then saw each other again on 23 but after that, he hasn’t been available. Oh just one more thing, he called me last Friday and asked me what I was doing, but I wasn’t available then : )

  200. #200 by saggi girl on June 11, 2009 - 6:58 pm

    hi, Derin,

    based on what you said, it seems normal. at this point, you can not do anything about it, but luckily you have a friend around him, which can be a bridge between both of you. but just asked your friend to ask it very casually without mentioning your concern, not at all….. let you friend ask something like this” hi, how is everything between 2 of you and did you meet again recently?”

    Derin, you are fine……

  201. #201 by Derin on June 11, 2009 - 8:32 pm

    Thank you so much saggi girl, I’m feeling better now : )

    My friend’s brother might have already asked, maybe tonight, though I’m not sure. If he tells him something like ” man, you invited her to your house on your second date!?”, then we ‘re through, lol. I’ll call my friend tomorrow and ask her if her brother talked to my Taurus.

    I’m expecting a call from him tomorrow, before the weekend, if he doesn’t call… then i’ll start thinking something is wrong.

    I have never encountered a man who is that slow… so I’ve been feeling hopeless and clueless. But you think I’m fine, which is great. I think you should have your own problem page and help people, I’m serious! Your comments are always so insightful.

    How are you doing? Have you talked to your Taurus again?

  202. #202 by Jess on June 12, 2009 - 3:27 am

    Derin my dear,

    I been reading your post and was not going to say anything until I read to this line……

    ” Iโ€™m expecting a call from him tomorrow, before the weekend, if he doesnโ€™t callโ€ฆ then iโ€™ll start thinking something is wrong.”

    Ok, now you are going to make a mistake by EXPECTING! Dont expect. period. (atleast try hard not to expect) because you can be sure to be disappointed by the Taurus. And the ironic is they just dont see anywrong with that… (while you already go so far feeling hurt and think he’s not intersted and that something is wrong)

    Just my 2 cents right from my very best intention!

    Anyway keep us posted.

  203. #203 by saggi girl on June 12, 2009 - 2:26 pm

    hi Derin,

    i agree with Jess that do not expect a call from him, otherwise, you will drive yourself crazy if he does not call.

    if he calls, it is great, if he does not, then do your own stuff, i know it is tough, but you have to do it.

    for answering your question, yeah, we did talk again. He called me on Tuesday night before he went to bed, that was we normally do if we do not fight, it is like a routine already. we do not talk long and just make sure each other were ok and nothing bad happened during the days we did not talk. like Tuesday, we only talked 3-4 minutes as he said that he was very tired and kind of crashing, so he generally asked how i was and if everything was ok, i said yes, then he said he was very tired and just wanted to say good night. so, we kissed good night and that’s it. Derin, i was so crazy before as i wanted to talk long whenever we talked, so if we did not talked long, i would think that he did not want to talk to me. but right now i am ok with this after i went through all the dramatic stage( you do not want to go through that, LOL).

    also like last night, based on the routine schedule, he was supposed to call me but he did not, did i beat myself down? no, i did not, i just went to sleep as i did not take it too personal right now as you have to give the other person space to digest his day the way he wanted. But if you do want to talk to him, just give him a call and asked how his day was but do not question why he does not call as it is not his job to call you when you expected in your own mind unless he said that he is going to call on paticular date (if not, i would call to see what has happended and told him that i was worried as he said he would call), this way he will think that you are worried about his wellbeing but not question his behavior. so, next time, he will remember to call when he said he would. This way, you set your own rule without confronting him.

    well, i am still learning and never know when the next drama will be on the way towards me….. but we got sisters here to share….LOL

    keep us posted…

  204. #204 by Derin on June 12, 2009 - 2:45 pm

    Dear Jess, I know, you are right, I shouldn’t have said that because he didn’t call! lol. Then of course I couldn’t help it and called him. His number was busy and then I didn’t try again. He might have seen my number or not later but at this stage I don’t really care. Ok, that was wrong I still care : ) but I’m learning not to expect.

    Saggi girl dear, glad to hear that you are ok with it now…and you are handling the situation well. I know you’ve been through so much drama and I think it’s great that you can keep it cool. I think you are on the right track.

    I don’t think I’ll call him ever again. He hasn’t called me in a week and if he doesn’t care “how I am doing” , then I don’t care about him either. I know that you guys are telling me to be patient but I really think it is over. He has started calling me more and more scarcely and then he cut it out. That’s how I see it now.

    Peace

  205. #205 by Derin on June 13, 2009 - 1:35 pm

    Alright, some update.

    I called him. Today. I shouldn’t have, right? But I did. I feel like an idiot, though he didn’t make me feel bad for calling him. Of course he’s been busy, he was away for two days on buiness, then of course he had been to the basketball games. Now he’s again away for the weekend and then next week, he’ll come back the week after next week. He said sorry I couldn’t call you, blah blah. I said it’s ok, I’ve been busy too. I asked him about his father first though, he said he’s out of the hospital and quite fine now. He gave me like a very detalied description about his father’s situation. Then he asked me what I was doing. And then he said “what are you doing next week?” Why don’t you come over and escape for a few days. It’s a seaside place that he’s going to. I said “I wish, but I have to work” Then I regretted saying “I wish” because “I really don’t wish” lol, He’s not my fiance or even my boyfriend yet, so I would never go. Anyway, he said “take care” and wished me a good day.

    Well, I still think I shouldn’t have called. At least I know what he’s up to but… I still find his casual approach irritating, I mean his inviting me over just because I called…

    I keep contradicting myself I know, in the previous post I was saying I would never call him but now here I am, I’ve done it. Stupid.

    Btw, I went out with the Libra guy last night, it was ok but I don’t think of seeing him again. He called me today but I didn’t even pick it up. I am baaaad. I know. The same night, after I left him, I met friends (a couple), and they had another friend with them, who they brought along for me to see. He has a huge motorbike and seems like a nice and kind guy (although with earrings and a freshly made tattoo, lol) but I didn’t feel attracted to him a bit… so I don’t know. I’m hung up on the Taurus guy, still. Although I know he’s probably no good for me.

    Ok focus. Focusing on myself.

  206. #206 by Jess on June 13, 2009 - 5:24 pm

    Derin,

    May I know what your sign is ?

    Anyway, DONT feel stupid especially with putting up with the bull! because then there will be too manyyyy more times for these stupid feelings in the future! LOL.

    Let me share something with you. After I read yours, it was like seeing myself 6 months ago… I swear I got easily nervious anything to do with my taurus guy. Almost every text i got: was excited to see the message, had to wait like half an hour or more to reply so not look too attentive, think of how to reply so it sounds casual. I swear I did all these because of how he makes me feel without any astrology concern, never known anything about Taurus or even my own sign before! LOL.

    When I first met him I was amazed how this arrogant guy can manage to provoke me, confused, and challenged me yet I cant get him off my mind so I did some research and it brought me here.

    Derin, dont call him anymore. You are still in the early stage with this guy. YOu are so much into him already! Next time he calls if you hear it, just pick it up and keep it very short and simple. Dont play his game. Just because he is a Taurus it doesnt mean you have to be one too hahaha! Well that is my motto! I dont want to be an arse like him hehehe. What I always do is, I always reply his contacts but in my own sweet time and way (hehehe) I know Taurus is very smart and very observing. I dont want him to smell the sulky poulty from me. (because then he will know he got me) So I try (suuuperrrr hard) to convince and train myself to act on my normal term. I want him to think that as much as I care and want to be with him, i wouldnt mind and he can feel free to leave anytime.

    Oh, one exception: YOu can copy some of his game, like the thick skin approach! Pretend like you dont feel anything hahaha! thats why I told you NOT to feel bad just because he asked you to a trip over your call. Also you can be sure to feel worse in the future if you still stick around taurus (until you got his heart). You will see in time how taurus can make you feel as best as worst… hahaha!

    This is how i counter back his game. But I keep in mind i might win or lose him i dont care atleast i have fun with the ride (well… cant fully say i dont care hehe because if i lose him i know i will be sad but i know also i’ll be ok no matter what)

    Just remember: when you out to meet him, be at your best! dress up real nice and BE VERY FEMININE AND SMELL GOOD! Thats all you have to do.

    Sorry for the long post! And excuse my craziness today. I have also those sad and tears moments Taurus cause me…will share with you on other occasions.

    Cheer up Derin, and Hello to all!

  207. #207 by Derin on June 13, 2009 - 6:46 pm

    Dear Jess,

    I am a Virgo. Tauruses and Virgos are supposed to be highly compatible, so that’s why I’ve been overdoing this horoscope stuff lately.

    My brother is a Taurus, but he got married quite early, when he was 26 and now he’s a great father and husband.

    However, my Taurus guy is a never-been-married 37 (I am 32) and still I think he has no intention of marrying or anything, then why did he agree to meet me in the first place? I mean my friend’s brother asked him if he wanted to meet a girl (who is serious, lol) and you know he came to meet but as I said I think his idea of a relationship is very different from mine apparently. Mind you, I can sound quite conservative to some. I have never been out on a holiday with a boyfriend for example. If he is looking for someone that he can hang out casually and call in his own time, then I am the wrong person for him. I think his inviting over for the trip is an indication that he has aboslutely NO idea what kind of person I am. And I said “I wish I could come” !! arrghhh

    Thanks so much for sharing. What you’ve been through is so familiar : )Your tactics sound great and I think you are doing the best right now. The “thick skin approach” ! YEAH! I try to act like I really don’t care either but my calling him today may have boosted up his ego… oh I don’t know.

    Anyway, thank you, you are making me feel better. You are right, I won’t call him again. Plus, when he calls if he again invites me to his house or something, he’ll get a no answer and that maybe the end of it all. If we go out to somewhere, then as you said I’ll be very feminine : )

    In fact, strangely after I called him I felt stupid first yes but then gradually I started feeling better, and everything was back in its place in my mind. That call , his casual treatment made me realize something I’ve been avoiding, that he is actually not a relationship guy and I have blinded myself all this time.

    At this point, like you said, I don’t care if he calls me or not. It’s even better if he doesn’t because that way I’ll be sure of something I’m already almost sure of.

    What’s your sign Jess? Sorry if you have said it before.

  208. #208 by Jess on June 13, 2009 - 7:36 pm

    Oh Derin, you are a conservative Virgo! By the way I’m Aries.

    You sound to me as a very fine lady! I start to feel sorry you run into this butthead! lol.

    I think I know how you feel now but like I said its still very early stage for you. At my early stage I was also very confused and upset (now still confuse and upset but less…) is very unpredictable/unual/mental/extreme/insane/selfish/etc etc…you name it! But believe me if Taurus really interest he will stick around (same as men in any sign) and the only way to find out is TO WAIT AND SEE.

    Really, Derin, please dont get too quick to conclude anything, he is or he is not into you. It doesnt make sense to Taurus how he should be into you only after seeing you just few times. Taurus is very OBJECTIVE.

    Believe me, the only way to know: you MUST NOT EXPECT OR CONCLUDE of what/when/how long/how much/how shoud, he contact you! Just wait and be there and observe. Dont get upset or go so far wondering why he did what he did because ITS USELESS trying to figure out! Believe me I repeat again. Why I’m so sure? I cant tell you enough how he told me one thing (such as he doesnt want a relationship and have no plan for us) but act the other way (plan a trip for us on my holidays) then told me the other thing (that he wants his future baby to look like me…) then told me some more the other thing (that if i find someone else i can tell him…) Now you see what i mean……

    If your mind are clear and free from wonder and grief from the mental game, you will start to see his super slow but sure action. He never go away! I repeat! wait until you can see his (slow) motion and then you can decide if you can accpet a guy who dont contact all the time but CONSTANTLY contact may be once a day or once in 2 days. Being an aries I like it fast its so hard for me to accept this but I think of it as a lesson to slow down my pace. He never disappear from me more than 3 days (and that is only 1 time)

    For me now I’m sure he is into me, yet its another story if he ‘loves’ me or not which I can answer now for myself, No he doesnt love me and I dont know when he will or if he would ever at all. I will leave it to the future.

    Atleast I say thank you to the Taurus to teach Aries like me to learn how to slow down and wait.

    Oh, dont feel too bad or being offend for your guy ask you on a trip, I’m sure he didnt have any bad intention! wait to hear my episode you will be shocked!

    Anyway i need to sleep now. If you chat and would like you can add me littlerebella@gmail.com

    Take care and FOCUS ON YOURSELF! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  209. #209 by Derin on June 13, 2009 - 8:39 pm

    Dear Jess,

    Ok I’ll try not to conclude anything , though he has killed all my enthusiasm already!

    Wow your Taurus sounds like a real challenge. So yeah I see what you mean. And I can’t wait to hear you episode! What happened?

    And thank you, you sound like a very nice person too. I still think we deserve better, but at least it seems like we came to the point where we won’t really care whatever happens, in fact I came to that point exactly today, lol.

    Btw, I have already sent you a request on gmail. So I guess you’ll see it when you wake up!

    Have a good night’s sleep and take care. ๐Ÿ™‚

  210. #210 by saggi girl on June 14, 2009 - 7:07 pm

    Hi Derin,

    do not feel bad for calling him. you will feel much better if you heard my story happened yesterday and today, i am sure that i am still learning hard and torture myself hard…..

    remember that i said in my last post that he called me on Tuesday acting normal and sound very sweet when we kissed good night, then he did not call me until Saturday noon, i did not hear it , so he left me a message like” hi, baby, it is me, i am sorry that i did not call you earlier, as i was having a busy week and i was very tired and did not feel good. and also has been dealing with my family and my mom. I don’t know, i guess everything is ok, i am going through my saturday now and call me so we can talk for a while. call me and talk to you soon.” He sounds very depressed even though i do not know why. so i called him back 10 minutes later he called, he told me that he was driving to the surburb to meet with his customer then he asked how i was, i said that i was helping my friend’s own business today. He said that it was nice to help friend, he has not heard from his sister for 2 days and wondering how his mother was doing( his mom has a brain cancer), he needs to see his mother soon, and he will call his mother on sunday…, then he wished me a good day and be careful, blah blah, then said that he needs to go as he was driving on high way( he had car accident before), kissed me good bye and asked for mine. and then said that he will call sunday to see how the day will be or i can call him after getting back from church, the whole conversation is only 5 minutes

    so, i called him today and he did not answer and then called me back 2 minutes later, it sounds like that he was driving. he asked how i was and how was church, and told me that he needs to do a few things today and he called his mom and was told that she has been sleeping a lot. he might need to see her for the next 2 weekends, so he needs to take care a few things today and go to bookstore to buy a book to read for work and do laundry if he is going next week. i said ok, it is fine. he said ” thanks for your understanding”, i said” it is alright”, but but but deep inside i am not feeling ok at all, i started feeling like that i am faking myself…… something even pissed me off is when he said” i am sorry that i can not see you today, but i promise that i will see you next weekend if i do not go to see my mom.” It makes me feel so weird like that i am begging him to see me, it really destroy my ego….

    then he said that he needs to get his day going and will talk more later tonight after he has done his thing. then i said ” i feel bad.” he said ” i am sorry that i can not help.”(bastard !!!!!). then i said that i feel bad for him as he has to go through that, he said” oh, it is ok, thanks for your concern but i have to go through whatever it is.” then i said” you think i feel bad for myself for not seeing you when i said that?” he said ” yeah, as you are always like that.”, then we kissed goodbye as usual and hung up.

    I am feeling really bad bad bad bad…., why he does not care when you feel bad, he just simply said ” i am sorry that i can not help”, i was wondering what if i said that to him, how would they take it? Selfish Bastard…..

    you know, i hate myself as i was never like this before, never…. so, i am not cool today, not at all. I was almost texting him to vent my anger saying something bad but i hold it back and came here to talk to you guys….

    sometimes, i just want him to disppear from the face of the earth, sorry, my bad….

  211. #211 by saggi girl on June 14, 2009 - 7:25 pm

    oh, one more thing he said in the conversation today that he miss me. what a huge bullshit, You are saying you miss me and at the same time that you can not come to see me? Why he lie????????????????? it does not make sense. as i know myself, if i miss someone then i make effort see that person. otherwise, i won’t say something i did not mean to confuse people. It sounds to me it even makes things worse……

    sorry, i just want to vent…..

  212. #212 by Derin on June 14, 2009 - 7:50 pm

    Oh saggi girl

    Please don’t feel bad. Please please.

    At least you’ve been talking all this time and he was explaining to you. However, he made you call him first, that’s another story but , from the little experience I had with my Taurus, they are “carefree” as you know it , and “the world is turning around them” as you know it.

    Please don’t text him, don’t do anything, wait for him to call you and be casual… don’t let him know that “he’s hurt you” . I don’t believe anymore that they are not doing it unintentionally though , they are firstly MEN before they are Tauruses, and I think they are trying to maintain the myth that men are actually SIMPLE, we are COMPLEX, so they can get away with everything.

    If you text him and vent your anger, it’ll make you look bad and you’ll be the one with a problem, because you know he thinks that ” he hasn’t done anything wrong”, and his mother is sick and you’ll be there “whining” while he is concerned about his family.

    You know my Taurus didn’t call me for 5 days – including the weekend that he promised we would see each other- then he called 2 days later, told me that his father got hospitalised ,so he couldn’t call me blah blah but he still found time to go to the game of his favorite basketball team that weekend!

    I think we deserve better and we should not let them know that we are weak with them. We are not weak, they can’t cause us sadness and they should know that.

    Sorry if I sound harsh or preachery. You know I’m new at this but right now I also feel free of my Taurus because our last talk on the phone made me ask the question: what am I doing? what am I doing with this man, thinking about him while he’s out there somewhere living his own life? Apparently, he has no space in his life for a steady relationship and all I know is that right now, I’m too good for him, really. You are too. Please be sure of that and don’t let him make you feel bad.

    saggi girl, be strong. don’t call him. when he calls, be casual. don’t let a man know that he’s got you. don’t let him trick you into thinking that he’s the one who is busy and you have no life but waiting to meet him all the time, because that’s not true.

    be strong. as usual, focus on yourself : )

  213. #213 by saggi girl on June 14, 2009 - 8:18 pm

    hi Derin,

    Thanks for your message and it helps me a lot to calm down to a point that i can get my day going. i am so glad that we have each other’s support…

    you are right and let’s stop calling them from now on. and i agree with you too that do not let them know that they have gotten us, as that is my problem with him now, I gave my heart to him completely, which makes me stupid. i think at this point. why those man was being invented in the first place?

    one thing is very funny that your taurus invited you to his place even though it is too earlier but mine never invited me to his place as he said that his wife stuff are still in there and it is not appropriate for me to be there. when he moved into a new place, i will be invited. well, I think it is just an excuse……

    i will be strong and focus on myself. i hope you will feel better too….everytime, i went through drama with him, i felt that it makes me a few years old on my face….., i could be his aunt now….

    i will keep you posted….

  214. #214 by Jess on June 15, 2009 - 3:16 am

    Oh Saggi girl,

    Please please like Derin was beggin you and I’m doing the same, DONT feel bad. I only finish reading your 2 posts and I need to say to you now that it sounds you guys are going well. This time he didnt sound too bastard to me… (sorry dont mean to take his side…) I know how it was like for a person who has to deal with the love one who got brain cancer because I have a very close friend whose bf got brain tumor (I can feel so much part of their pain). There are too many times to recall that my bestfriend called me just to cry for the misfortunate and how hard she has to handle everything.

    I need to go finish some work and will write you more.

    Oh, I’m so happy to read that you didnt text him or said anything to vent your anger with him! instead doing it here LOL! smart choice!

  215. #215 by Jess on June 15, 2009 - 3:20 am

    Oh saggi girl, if you do chat or if you would like at all, please add my email: littlerebella@gmail.com

    I vote we should start a supporting group (not just particularly to fighting with Taurus but any other signs haha)

  216. #216 by saggi girl on June 15, 2009 - 6:29 pm

    Hi Jess and Derin,

    update with my situation: he called me last night and told me that his day was busy but very productive, asked how mine was. I told him that it was ok and got a few things done. i was trying to sound relaxed but i think he is too sharp that he sensed that i was not very happy as i am not very sophisticated to hide anything, it either carried in my voice tone or showed on my face eventually.

    i think i got a little bit comfortable and then let my guard down. so I told him that i was not very happy that he only called on Tuesday,saturday and sunday, and he was too short with me on the phone when we finally talked. he said that he was very busy and got a lot on his mind, i have to understand. he also said” we are having conversation now, it has been more than 30 minutes already. you know that i do not like to talk a lot on the phone.” but i told him to understand me too. he said that he will try to call me earlier next time, so we can talk a little bit longer……well, based on my experience, i do not think he will change, maybe once at the begining, then he will change back.

    i realized that it is so true impossiblely to change them, even though they know they are wrong but they won’t change it, i don’t know if it is because they are lazy or not…. or they do not care…
    anyways, that is my update. i was really grateful that i have you guys on here, so i could hold my anger back to myself and vent it here. but i still do not know if we matched…. i do love him and not sure if we matched….. as i have to swallow a lot of bitterness or angerness on my own if i want to continue with him…. it is so hard… i do not know when the next drama will be??????????

    Thanks, Jess and Derin, hope you are well too….

  217. #217 by saggi girl on June 15, 2009 - 6:33 pm

    HI jess,

    i have no internet access at home as they charged $75 monthly, which is too much for me. I will add your email to my account when i do set up the internet access at home as it is not good chating at work…..hopefully i can chat with you soon.. i am looking forward to it.

    i definitely vote for starting a support group, i think it is a really good idea to do that, so we won’t be miserable on our own and vent the anger here or share anything, which i believe it is good for health…..

    love you, girl..

  218. #218 by lionsroar on June 15, 2009 - 8:09 pm

    Well hello BEA..UTIFUL LADIES!!!!

    I have been reading over the posts, wow I missed alot. But sounds like everyone is lending a cyber shouler when needed.. How AWESOME are all of You!!! Too bad these knuckleheads dont see it. LOL

    Anyway, thought I’d give you gals a chuckle.. I did see Mr. Taurus Sunday evening. He gave me a johnnie on the spot call Sat. saying “Uh, did you want to do something”..hahaha, luckily I was with friends already. So I declined and he asked for Sunday… Waited for the call, waited for the text.. nothing finally later in the eve. got the call from the ‘bone phone’ (haha)…

    Yep you guessed it… wanna come over and sit in my boaring cave and watch a boaring movie with me.. So I thought what the hell. Well I’ll tell yah what the hell I lost 3 hours of my life that I will not get back, watching him yawn, tell me about his useless weekend (only after I asked, and NO he did not ask me what I have been upto)..then I watched a boaring movie. So when it was over I got up and put my shoes on. Then and only then did he show any type of affection. He then gave me a kiss goodbye, No nothing passionate either.

    I dont get it, they call, they dont call, they want to see you and then they act like they didnt. Crazy.. I think this is how they hooked everyone, it’s like building a puzzle without all the pieces!!! You get sucked into it, trying to see how it all fits and what the hell it really is. hahaha

    anyway..gotta run. Keep your heads high and never feel bad for feeling!!!

    Peace Out

  219. #219 by Mist flower on June 16, 2009 - 10:03 am

    Hello dear Ladies,

    I just came back from a 4 days festival in the forest in North of Holland. It was a great time of sharing joy and happiness with many others. I’ve got a psychic reading and guess what – the first thing I asked was how is going to work out with the Taurus I met. I was told his role in my life will be much more important than he thinks because he is provoking my female side which I neglected in the last 4-5 years. It is not clear what is going to happen between us. It’s important I started dreaming about having a boy friend so my wish is send to the Universe.
    I didn’t hear from him since he left to Italy a week ago. Mr. Taurus said he will send me an e-mail when he will have the time for it. Who knows, maybe he is not intending to do it.
    We will see… I am following your advises and am not planning to write him before he writes me. I feel I am more open for him now but will control myself till I am sure he has serious intentions and till I know him better.
    Life is much bigger than the love and attraction for one person. I am happy with my friends and all people in my life. It is a blessing to find you here!
    I realize our relationship to ourselves is the most important. If we have enough love for ourselves, self respect and don’t relay on a person to make us happy we will attract the person who deserve us. Maybe it’s easy for me to talk like this because the Taurus man is not around now. I hope to keep this feeling even if I would meet him everyday in the near future.
    Wishing you all joy and light!
    Warmly,
    Mist flower

  220. #220 by Jess on June 18, 2009 - 3:45 pm

    Hi to all,

    Been so busy and some family problem but still make it ok.

    Saggi girl, dont worry and keep in touch!

    Lionsroar, you are so funny! movie at home and goodbye kiss eh? what a boring romantic! lol.

    Mist flower, glad to hear from you again and good to hear you sound positive. Yes I agree life is all about too many things and should not only revolving arond the bull and the shit…lol. Keep on with life and be happy no matter what!

    Hope all is well for everyone else.

  221. #221 by saggi girl on June 18, 2009 - 4:31 pm

    hi Jess,

    i am glad to hear from you and hope you are well….

    have a nice day to everyone….

  222. #222 by Mist flower on June 20, 2009 - 12:19 pm

    Hello girls,

    How are you doing? I didn’t hear anything from my Taurus yet. Two weeks have passed already. I don’t expect anything – if I would be attracted to someone I would at least send him an e-mail even if am abroad. Or maybe he is very involved in what he is doing in Italy and doesn’t have time to think about me?
    Maybe for him the kisses were just a moment expression of his instinct and nothing more and I made a big story out of it.
    I was so stupid to tell him I still live by my ex-boy friend. I can imagine he thinks the situation is to complex and he wants something easy. Yes, he told me this literally when I cold him 2 weeks ago before he left: ‘Let’s meet but do something easy’. After that he called he doesn’t have time to meet.
    It doesn’t look very hopeful, does it?

    Anyway, in the meantime I found a flat for me and am going to move in 10 days. For me this is a big step. We will see what will happen next.
    How are you?

    Be well!

  223. #223 by saggi girl on June 20, 2009 - 11:48 pm

    hi Mistflower,

    do not feel bad and i think he is just too much involved with what he is doing now, and just wait and see if he will contact after he returned from his trip.

    I went for a business trip oversea for 3 weeks last year, and i missed him but i did not email him at all. and i just called him a day before i returned to make sure that he would pick me up from the airport. you are just knowing each other not long at all and take time for things to be developed. so, be well……

    how is everyone else? i hope all is well…. i am going to see my taurus tomorrow like he promised he was going to do last week. Hopefully there won’t be a drama, otherwise, i am going to be here to again….

    it is so hot today….

  224. #224 by lionsroar on June 21, 2009 - 1:31 pm

    Hello Fabulous Friends of mine….

    Mistflower..congrats on the pad, that should make you feel better. New place, new start, no male DNA insight!! haha.. Therapy girl, it will be total therapy….

    Saw Mr. ahmmm Wonderful. Well I bet thats what he calls himself when he looks in the mirror anyway.. HAHA Hooked up Friday night for a few hours, not a planned date. I was out with friends and he called he offered to meet me there, and my friends looked like cockroaches when some turns on the light.. they were like OH NOOOOOO… Not Mr.Personality.. (He is very shy around them)..So I finished my good time and met him. Went to a local pub, chatted ..Okay I did most of the talking as ususal.. back to the Den for a little and that was it!…. Nothing.

    Havent heard a peep since. I can safely say that I believe we are nothing more than acquantinces with an occasional benefit. Kind of like when your company throws a little extra in your 401K..A suprise, not to much but a little something. HAHA.. Well it is Dads Day here today suppose to be a hot one.. Looking forward to spending the day in the yard.. And ahhh yah I will be ignoring any incoming calls… Extremely rude to spend an evening with someone and not follow up with a text or call.. Dont yah think?

    Ha… Best to all..

  225. #225 by saggi girl on June 21, 2009 - 5:57 pm

    hi all,

    i just got off the phone with him and have to come here to vent, sorry…..

    we did not see each other last weekend and he said that he would see me this weekend, which is today. we talked yesterday and he was out for his own business, who knows if it is true or not, he told me that he would see me for sure and go to the restaurant if i want to.

    so he called 30 minutes ago and told me that he was not very hungry as his contractor called him this morning and met for a late breakfast together, he said that he would take a light bite if i still want to go to restaurant. and he told me that he will be here at 2:30 pm or so and will spend a couple of hours together as he has something to do later for the day. I was not very happy and actually want to say “f” word but i swallowed it but right now it is still in my throat. and he appologized” i am sorry, baby, that is the only time that i have right now.” what a “f”…., does he really understand how i feel? next weekend, he will be visiting his mom, so 2 hours is all i got? he called less and spending time less after he got this new job, i do not know if it is because of the new job or because of me? if he does not want to see me, why arrange for a couple hours? is he acting a show? for this whole week, he called me on wednesday when he said that he will call on Tuesday but i did not answer the phone and then we spoke again on Thursday night for only a few minutes, and then Saturday. i don’t know what to do. i probably will lash out to him later i see him as right now everything is in my throat…

    i changed a lot right now as i probably would say something very bad and cancel it right away if i was acting on my own character…..

  226. #226 by lionsroar on June 21, 2009 - 9:32 pm

    saggi girl….. Bottom line, men are like women; if they want it that bad they will cancel plans, make excuses, lie and move heaven and hell to be with the one that gives them those great ‘private alone thoughts’… Dont invest more than you can afford to lose……

    Every time you let him pull the trigger on you, you are doing ’emotional cutting’ if you are going to bleed, bleed for the people that love you unconditionally and are always there regardless…

    Bottom line; Do not be the person you are not.. which sounds like you are becoming..for what 2 hours??? People are in your life to enhance it or not.. be kind, helpful and friendly to those who do not enhance your life, and unconditionally love, forgive, give and give more to those that enhance it..

    Chin up, Girl you know your value. Why would you discount it..

  227. #227 by saggi girl on June 21, 2009 - 11:30 pm

    hi Lionsroar,

    thanks for your message and i came to the internet shop again to give you guys an update right after he left. there are some dramas to share….

    We met at restaurant around 3 pm and grab something to eat, actually majorly it’s me eating…, he showed me the book he was reading for his work, wow, a lot of notes on it. he told me that hopefully it would be better very soon about his work situation and blah blah…. anyways, he paid the bill and we were ready to leave for my place, and then a guy come in, he was laugh at the guy for something he did but i did not know as i was not sitting facing the guy. so, the guy walked past us and then turned around left, so i turned around looking at him as i did not know why he laughed at the guy. then he was very mad and said:” why you looked at the guy and even turned around, do you like him, so go ahead, why don’t you talk to him? why not? It is not the first time you looked at other guys, like last time we were on beach, you…..blah blah blah….”
    Jesus, i do not even know what happened. where does he get this? i tried to explain but he won’t listen, so we walked out and i tried to reach his hand but he won’t let me. telling me to leave him alone for now. i was really mad and asked for his apology when we got home, he refused to do it and even told that he was never with a girl doing that in front of him…… so, he also said it was already very bad for a guy to do that and even worse for girls, blah blah blah and then asked me to lay down next to him so he can hold me….. God, are they insane? i was still very mad and insist his apology, he finally apologized and said that it might be his missight over this….

    oh, let me tell you the favorite thing for him to do with me is to lay down on my bed and hold me into his arms snoring….he finally left at close to 6pm….

    they are just crazy…..plain crazy…

  228. #228 by lionsroar on June 22, 2009 - 2:13 am

    In a nut shell….. Big Baby!! Head Games. He is shifting his own personal internal troubles on you. Making you feel bad for nothing. He is validating himself through you… Let it go…

    You have two choices. Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy. Sometimes not reacting to the problem is the fastest way to defeating it… Be happy girl… There would be a hell of alot more fish in the sea if they didnt open their big mouths and take the bait.

    Let him eat his own bait..trust me, it will leave a bad taste in his mouth.

    PS The only way I would have held anything around him would have been a pillow over his big fat head! But hey I am a Leo and more than a tad bitch.

    Remember live life looking out the windshield not the rearview mirror…there’s nothing back there but ground already covered and you cant go back..there’s only ever one route in life and that is FORWARD!!! Be glad every day you get to do a do-over and go forward. You could not learn and become who you are if not for those bumps in the road that made you take notice….

  229. #229 by Jess on June 22, 2009 - 5:09 am

    Hi to all the ladies!

    Been super busy and just back from a weekend trip with my taurus and his bestfriend who came to town for a short visit. Gosh! lots of talk and walk and exercises…I just love it!so hard to find a man who is not too lazy and able to keep up with me for outdoor activities.

    ++ Mist flower, I agree its not so smart to tell him (or any men) how you are still having a thing or two to do with your ex. Not to mention Taurus but any men who look for relationship would take it as a bad sign… But dont feel stupid either, atleast you are being honest and Taurus usually look for and honour that for a person.

    I would tell you dont wait for his contact. Just live on your life and be open for any opportunities but if your Taurus guy think it thru and is really interested to keep contact with you, just be open but DONT expect too much. Treat every opportunity as a chance.

    ++ saggi girl, I’m sorry to hear you were in a bad mood before (but i guess you calm down now)

    I can understand how you could get upset for not spending enough time. (considering how these Taurus usually acting weird on not giving enough time but disappering act instead…)
    However I personally would not get upset over meeting for only 2 hours. The thing with me is: I’m normally a busy person, always get complaint or nagging from friends about being difficult to make time for them… So unless I regard them as ‘important’ enough, i wont even try to make time to meet. But even so, too many occasions I cant help but calling to cancel or delay it (if not important people I wont even bother to call…) many times I can only make it for couple hours, yet some (who dont really know me that well) still think i take them for granted and not really interested… As for the other way around, I normally appreciate when people try to make an hour just to see me especially those i know they are busy people. (because i suppose nobody like to go thru all the deal with dressing up and traffic just to see nobody for just an hour)

    I would like to tell you try not to act your emotion up on every disappointing act caused by Taurus. Not only it sure as hell will be too many times but it causes you unnecessary unhealthy feelings and unproductive relationship if any. Decide for yourself now this is what you are going to deal with for the whole course if you want something to do with him. Take it (and live with it) or leave it (sorry girl for being straight) because we all know they are NOT going to change!

    Please take care you ladies and hope the rest are doing well.

  230. #230 by saggi girl on June 22, 2009 - 2:55 pm

    Hi lionsroar,

    thanks for your advice especailly the line like”Remember live life looking out the windshield not the rearview mirrorโ€ฆthereโ€™s nothing back there but ground already covered and you cant go back..thereโ€™s only ever one route in life and that is FORWARD!!! Be glad every day you get to do a do-over and go forward. You could not learn and become who you are if not for those bumps in the road that made you take notice.” it is really true and i like it…….

    i guess it is really hard for me to be myself when i was with Taurus as i did not want to lose him by acting too much with my negative emotion whenever there is a disppointment occured…, but i think the case for me is to either live with it and stop complaining or leave it and never look back…..I guess that i am not brave enough to leave it right now as I……

    have a good day…

  231. #231 by saggi girl on June 22, 2009 - 3:11 pm

    Hi Jess,

    i am glad to hear from you again and knew that you enjoyed your weekend with your taurus and it sounds going on pretty well….

    thanks for your insight and advice, i guess you are right that i need to decide to either live with it or leave it, well, i don’t think that i am ready to leave right now, so i guess that i have to live with it….hehe… well, you know, i always thought he has been lying about his time until he showed me the book that he was reading at the restaurant, wow, there is a lot of notes on it, it seems that he does take it very seriously. but i said that i did feel bad because i did not get his attention but he said that he did as much as he can right now because that is how much he can do…. and hopefully this situation will be changed soon. he also said that he was not seeing anyone else but just to put a lot of time to study for his job as he is kind of new to this field and he is under a lot of pressure…..i think it is just so hard for me to understand when it comes to emotion…., he also said the same thing as you stated that i should be happy that he made the time even though it is not enough for me and we should just enjoy the best of it because it is very precious…

    so, he left for home after we spent 3 hours together, i sent him a message before i went to bed like” good night with 8 kisses and have a nice day tomorrow.” he sent back like” you too and 9 kisses for you.” sometimes, i felt like we are just like a kid….or maybe i need to be mature…. but it is hard….

    thanks Jess……

  232. #232 by Jess on June 23, 2009 - 9:58 am

    Saggi girl,

    I think its hard already trying to be in control of our own emotion so dont worry too much about trying to understand the others…

    To all the ladies,

    I have some idea to share:

    Since we are not the first hand experience. We all have gone thru some series with these eccentric bulls (thats why we are here). But what we are doing are either feeling sad yet tolerate it and stay hoping patient will bring it all. Or entering into a fight then we say we quit (but i doubt if we really do…)

    I think to get what we want, only patient is not enough. We have to outsmart them and their game. Now we know their way and start to figure out their reaction. We have to use some receptive offensive approach…lol oh me sounds so serious hahaha.

    Taurus is all about sensual and passion but stubborn head. They dont do when they are told or pushed. So if we want more than he gives (time, attention, romance) we dont ask, dont sulk and pout. Instead of focusing on them to find out why he did that, we work on our charm to lure him to want more, work on the puzzle to have him wonder about us with the Questions: why, what, who with.

    I been doing this for a while now and notice things between me and my Taurus are getting closer. Surprisingly my mind get some distant from him. Ok this might sound a bit mental but when i get the feeling that he is playing my game i get satisfaction and his existence seem to be less important to me than before.

    Just to share my approach with you girls, it works well for me so far and hope it does in a long run but I will keep posted. If anyone else have some tricks to share please do. ๐Ÿ™‚

    PS> I cant imagine if my taurus ever found this site….

  233. #233 by saggi girl on June 23, 2009 - 4:42 pm

    hi, Jess,

    i am glad that you figure it all out so far and worked well for you.

    so, your generally saying is to distant ourselves from these tauruses? and make them wondering what we have been doing and do not nag or demand for more romance, time and attention than they can give but to lure them to give voluntarily, as nag or demand won’t work for them as they are bullheaded and not gonna give you anything because we demaned or nagged , right? because they were hated to be asked to do or pushed to do.

    Well, i will see how it worked for me…..hehehe. thanks for sharing, obviously i am not in a good place to share but to complain and nag…..sorry….hehehe

  234. #234 by jenaali on June 24, 2009 - 2:07 pm

    Hi, pretty and gorgeous girls,

    I have been reading your post about Taurus since a week or so and landed to this site searching for my answers to those typical taurus reactions i endured during my latest and experience with a taurus man. Got so relieved to find out that these are there characteristics that they can’t help so true it is that i felt amazed how a birth sign can relate and influence your personality all along.
    I am an Aries with a moon in Libra have never been involved with the taurus man before and this is my first time experience although i had a hard one long ago with the scorpio that are bit same like the taurus never telling you any thing not even giving a slightest hint of there feelings puting plain face in front of you all the time, any ways i am with this bull since one and a half month or so and after two or three days of our acquaintance he expressed his love for me as he has his moon and venues in aries so reckless of a kind after three dates he told me that he has to visit his sister’s house in another city for a month or so as he left he kept messaging me and than after three day or so he just vanished not answering my sms and calls eitheir that left me so amazed and heart broken that i thought that i did a terrible mistake letting my guard down so early and confession the same love for him now its been 4 days and i haven’t heard from him yet and i am wondering how to cope up with this situation as i know going after him will further kill my attraction and pull him away.
    I know one taurus how is my cousin and to be very franck i see him not so committed to his wife although he had a love marriage and was once ready to commit suicide for her I feel they have infidelity in their personalities because they are so sensuous and love sex as well so because of these things they keep themselves attracted to many.
    Ladies please come to your senses now if they really love you they will come after you and if they don’t they keep you as a part time hobby.
    You know what makes us less attracted to them is our loss of famine grace and by providing them sex as well we become “a girl of now” not that one that they want hard to get and than take into commitment.
    Now as my Taurus is away i analysis his stories how he used to tell me that he tortures those girls who used to love him a lot ?
    that is their personality they act like a prince and after getting your heart in their hands they feel that you are theres and they possesses you they really enjoy playing with you like a piano. please do consider this and i will discus more what should we do in this regard.
    So happy to find you all.
    LOL

  235. #235 by Jess on June 27, 2009 - 4:15 am

    Hi jenaali,

    I’m an Aries too. Dont get heartbroken too soon! You been getting involved with your Taurus man for only couple months, its still a longgg longgg rocky way to go ๐Ÿ˜‰

    My impression with Taurus so far is that even they are fixed sing which means they are set in their way and next to impossible to move them to change but they get bored easily. My taurus guy told me he usually lose interest as he finds it boring after spending some times with a girl then he moves from one to the next.

    Guess what? we’re an Aries and he just run into the most fast and furious sign of the zodiac, I doubt who is losing interest first…

    Heartbroken? Mind you, lets it get all broken up! Faster than a bull finish his shit a ram is just good to go for the next time round ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Welcome aboard, i hope you enjoy your ride ๐Ÿ˜‰

  236. #236 by Soaries on June 28, 2009 - 12:34 am

    Hey ladies,

    Any tips to learning my man would be awesome. I read through the posts and see quite a few of my fellow aries on board. Ladies how do you deal? Not sure if I can take it anymore.

  237. #237 by proud lioness on June 29, 2009 - 6:49 am

    Hi All,

    So here is my experience:

    Last August my taurus man and I began our roller coaster of a (relationship??) whatever you want to call it after reconnecting during our high school alumni picnic.

    after two months of “i want you….but i dont” he asked me to be his girlfriend at which point i asked if he was sure. He said yea and so we bacame.

    Stable happiness lasted for the next 2-3 weeks and then I began to notice he was saying inappropriate things and they were adding up to “i do not respect you…or i think very little of you”

    let me tell you as a Leo i do not take kindly to disrespect or belittling. So when he called one afternoon, i explained how his rude comments did not support his claim that he was in love with me and that in fact i could see a break up if that was his true feelings. He did not respond well to this and in fact begin retreating at this point.

    In December he decided not to talk to me (without notice) for over eight days when i finally confronted him saying if its over then just tell me that he called my phone and explained everything was fine and that we are definitely still together. this phone call lasted for 1 hour and when we hung up i felt relieved and had a big smile on my face

    2 minutes later i get a text saying whats up buddy…i responded i dont like that word…he responded i think we should just be friends for now…….and so it ended.

    because he has a brain tumor i wanted to stay his friend and so responded everytime he texted faithfully “goodmorning” everyday since the break up. everything else is sporatic but he treats me as his wife or gf sometimes, his friend other times. just recently he told me he is open to us getting back together and i believe hinting around to marriage… but i have no idea if this is worth it (something tells me it is….but my Leo pride fears he is just at home laughing at how he is playing me for a fool)

    Doctors have given him 3 years max and so i think this pushes him along a bit more….but he is still selfish, arrogant, controlling….etc etc.

    sigh (am i being a good woman/person by sticking with him…or just a complete idiot?)

  238. #238 by saggi girl on June 29, 2009 - 1:57 pm

    hi Proud Lioness,

    it is so sad to hear that your taurus will only have 3 years max and if you love him that deeply, nothing is a problem……, my taurus mother has the same sickness, he can even forgive his mom for her misbehavior when he was little, why can not you forgive him for whatever he did, i mean if you truly truly love him, otherwise, do not stay. I am trying to be selfish here but trying to make you see the reality. He is dying and you are whining for nothing. Tauruses are not gonna change unless they want to change, they are very hard to understand, sometimes, you think they love you , sometimes, you think they don’t. But in your case, i would suggest that you stay with him if you truly want to( swallow the bitterness) and give him your love, but if you think that it is not fair for you to stay while he gave you all the rollar-coaster thing, then do not stay, because fighting is not good for both of you especially his health condition….

    sorry, my opinion sounds harsh but it is just my thought…. be peace.

  239. #239 by Jess on June 29, 2009 - 4:58 pm

    proud lioness,

    Strange that one of my bestfriend is somewhat in this kind of situation dating a guy for few months to find out he got brain turmor… and she choose to stay with him but being a Leo is not easy. She has a very hard time putting up with all the mess now. Mind you, people with brain tumur become aggressive and emotional.

    In this case its not about how compatible a sign or anything to do with astrology. Forget about being a good woman or a completely idiot. Those are out of questions. Its about your life and his life.

    You really need to feel it inside of you if you really love this man as a person for his good and flaw. Look inside of you if you are ready to put up with any intense and extreme moments during the 3 years you can be sure its full of deep attachment and depression and when the 3 years is over…

    Oh, dont listen too much to what a doctor say. Tumor is not cancer. I have seen 2 people very close to me have it, one is cured and ok now, another one still getting treatment with his leo gf being supportive (in a somewhat furiously as a Leo way…)

    Cheer up!

  240. #240 by saggi girl on July 2, 2009 - 4:14 pm

    hi ladies,

    hope you all are doing well, it seems a little quiet in this land recently, well, it might be a good thing,which means “no complain”……

    Have a nice long weekend and happy 4th of July.

  241. #241 by Soaries on July 3, 2009 - 3:06 am

    Hey Saggi girl,

    Oh i could complain but why bother. My bull is still giving me the blues. He still has not called it is now going on week 3. I thought he loved me, but I guess I was wrong. I give up!

  242. #242 by saggi girl on July 6, 2009 - 1:22 pm

    hi soaries,

    what’s going on? did you guys have a big fight? or he just suddenly not calling?

  243. #243 by saggi girl on July 6, 2009 - 2:35 pm

    hi ladies,

    i need your opinion on my situation. my taurus recently got a bit job problem and might lose it soon. we saw each other yesterday, he mentioned it is time for him to move out of his apartment , the one with his wife’s stuff hanging around. he is so determined to move out( it is kind of surprising me) as he was so hesitant to move out before and just said it but never acted on. He told me that he is looking for one but with his job situation like this, he might need to cut the cost on renting, actually my girlfriend rented a room to a guy who just moved out a week ago, i kind of mentioning it before, so he asked if he can temporarily rent my girlfriend’s place for a few months until he is stable with his financial and job. but i do not want him to move in to my girlfriend’s place as it will be very strange for me, he said that i should trust him and my girlfriend. actully it is not because that i do not trust him and my girlfriend for not allowing him to move in but because i do not want my girlfriend to know too much about the things between us,(no privacy at all), and also if something goes wrong between them, it will affected the friendship. so i told him that it is not an option. but he said that he really need to figure something out, so i said that he can move in temporarily with me until he found a new place but he said that he wouldn’t start looking for new place right away as he wanted to settle down for a while and does not want to move in and out all the time, he is very honest that he want to cut the cost. he said that he will consider it and will decide by the end of this week.

    my problem is when he mentioned that at least he will stay at my place for 6 months, i got scared( but i did not say this to him) as i will lose my space, my alone time as i need it and not ready for another person to move in, what if we got a problem as we are not stable yet, what if this, what if that… oh, god, so many negativities came across…..

    also, i kind of feel like that i overdid it for offering this to him, we are not official yet, you girls know it, so i kind of feeling weird, what should i need to do? offer him as a friend, live together as a roomate? or what? sorry, girls, i kind of feeling stupid, very. don’t you think?

  244. #244 by Jess on July 7, 2009 - 3:07 pm

    Hi ladies,

    Been out of town for business for several days, now back in another business here! lol.

    Saggi girl,

    I think its nice you offer your hand when he is ‘in need’. It will be good for you that you will take this time to learn about each other if its possible for the two of you to develop into some serious relationship in the future. YOu can also observe his manner and attitude when he is not at work. I think its more important to see a person when he is in a bad time of his life; how he handle stress and problems, how he get thru it, when he is in a bad shape.

    But on the other hand, its perhaps more on your disadvantage because I assume its hard to avoid any intimate contact living together so if its not going well you might feel like being used. Especially now that you guys just get ‘reconnect’ again.

    All in all its your decision, but you already offer this. I would say let’s see how he accept your offer. But you need to set a ground for yourself and talk to him how you are going to treat each other.

    Personally I think this is not a good timing to assume anything about ‘relationship’. Besides you are just getting back on a ‘ contacting basis’ so may be not moving in as a lovers or bf/gf for him.

    Take time to think about it and decide the best option FOR YOURSELF and talk to him. Just remember one thing, it doesnt need to be with a Taurus but anybody, its always better to be honest and straight forward. Especially he is open up and honest with you about wanting to cut cost, I think he would appreciate and understand you being forward and honest with him.

    Good luck and let us know how things going.

  245. #245 by saggi girl on July 7, 2009 - 4:43 pm

    hi Jess,

    what a great, smart lady you are, it must be very lucky to be your friend as you got brain…hehe.. you know what i mean, right?

    it made great sense to me on my situation, it is right that i need to seperate the relationship from the temporary living arrangement,otherwise, i would be confusing myself more. but at the same time, i need to see how much i could handle if something goes wrong, and how to handle it. Actually, i was thinking to talk to him to see if he could find a cheap place without living with me, i could help him to hunt the place, otherwise, financial issue will destroy everything even our friendship, don’t you think?

    hi, Jess, do you think it is a good idea for him to rent my girlfriend’s room in her place?

    looking forward to hear from you, smart Jess. Thanks a million…

  246. #246 by Jess on July 8, 2009 - 9:49 am

    Wow Saggi girl, that was the best thing one could say to a friend ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you.

    The idea of him renting a room from your girlfriend, I cant say for you but I know I would not like it. Eventhought the concern with trust vs jealousy for your gf and him is out of the question, I would still be afraid if this is going to put any one of you in a hard position in the future. For example if you think you are going to check up with your gf many times (like all the time…lol) what he is up to and would your gf think its annoying?, or if your taurus guy is going to complain something he finds it uncomfortable with your friend that make you feel bad for put you in hard situation? or if you might misinterpret or happen to signal jeolousy to any of them? I wouldnt want to put my friendship with my loved ones at risk.

    Saggi girl, does he already agreed to move in with you? or does he really show interest to share a house with your gf? If not, I would tell you to just relax and wait for him to decide. If he is a true Taurean, he might not go for either options because what I read and experience so far, Taurus seem to like to have own space. He rather distance himself to go figure out what to do and try to fix his own problem, than risk messing up with you or your gf and put you in a hard situation.

    Take time like Taurus do, you dont need to give him the answer immediately if you will talk to your gf about this or if he can stay with you no problem (even you already mentioned that.. so what? Taurus keep going back and forth on us all the time too…hehe)

    Atleast I like that he tells you about this, be there to listen to him, he will take this as a support. Let him first try to fix his problem as a man but re-assure him in any worse case he can count on you.

    Hope this helps a bit but no matter what just remember: take time and be honest like a Taurus do! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  247. #247 by saggi girl on July 8, 2009 - 1:43 pm

    hi Jess,

    thank you so much for listening and supporting as a friend, actually he shows strong interest to rent a room from my girlfriend, but i strongly declined. and I told him that if he thinks about this option again, he won’t hear from me anymore. he asked if i was serious about this, i told him “yes”. he said ” if this is the case, he won’t mention this again.” it seems that he does not understand why it sounds a big deal for me for renting a place from my girlfriend. He might be that desperate to move out.

    Actually we talked about this before like over 6 months ago when he had a little problem with his last job, i offered the same thing, he told me that he will consider and then told me later that he does not want to move in with me just because of his financial problem, but to move in because he’s ready to. so he did not and got this current job… i do not know what he is going to say this time but for me, i had 2nd thought for him to move in as he is very lazy and stubborn. You know how taurus is, mine is very lazy. so, i do not want to end up fighting with him about some house work…… i do not know. I think i will be sit back like you said and see what will be happening… but i will keep you posted.

    Hi Jess, personally, would you deal with someone with financial problem? sorry for being nosy……

    thank you..

  248. #248 by Jess on July 8, 2009 - 4:00 pm

    Hi saggi girl,

    If you already mentioned about him moving in with you, then leave it at that dont mention about it again. (this is just not to make you look like trying to convince him to your way, besides Taurus never forget! We all knew that…)

    When you said you guys talk about it 6 months ago, I notice this trend in my Taurus too, he talked about doing something but up until now its 7 months so far since I know him, he still not really put it in action yet…

    Oh, try not to make it sounds like the ultimatum that he can’t definetly rent a room from your gf, you know they hate being rejected in the face… Pretend that the problem is not on you but something else (i dont know how you can cover up but try to convince him to otherwise) because I dont want him to feel you dont TRUST him (again we all knew the Taurus with Trust issue…)

    Well sorry if i make it sounds like too many points to be careful but I know atleast my guy is like this too in which we are deliberately keeping all these points in mind but pretend like being ignorance…

    Would I personally deal with someone with financial problem? No, I wouldnt unless its someone I TRUELY LOVE AND CARE ENOUGH FOR. But Saggi girl, dont take my advice on this one because I’m really not in a good place to answer you as I never experienced this. I believe one can say anything until one is really in that particular situation and you will see what one used to say he/she will do and what he/she actually do can be totally opposite…

    At the same time, dont feel you are compelled to deal with other’s problem (him) just because you had and still have some kind of intimate relationship so it would make you a bad or selfish person if you dont help or it would cause you a risk to lose him.

    If I was in your place when I’m not sure I can or am willing to help him because I might be trapped and get involved in a deeper shit (if his financial problem keeps going…) I will still help but only what I can afford. But I will be honest and find a way to tell him (if its too ashame to be straight forward because I believe if you had some connection before, he will get your clue)

    DEALING is a process not the end result, you dont know where and how it lead you to the result. Wait and see. If you reach to the point where out of any logic you cant afford to be ‘in’ anymore, that is time you DEAL it as adult if you want to terminate or hold on or whatever.

    At this point, relax and support him the way you will do if it happens to other good friends of you.

    And dont worry you are not nosy at all and I’m glad if i help.

    All the best saggi girl!

  249. #249 by saggi girl on July 9, 2009 - 12:31 am

    hi Jess,

    thank you so much for your advice and i will keep that in mind. i will keep you posted….

  250. #250 by Jena ali on July 11, 2009 - 2:53 pm

    Hi Jess,

    Thanks for your warm and sincere reply.
    Iguess you are absolutely right about us as an Aries being bored by the slow and secretive taurus attitude. To update you my taurus did not contact me when he returned and i was so angry with him that i sent him an sms that i am going to leave him and taking myself out of his life forever instantly he massaged me again claiming that he lost my contact number than i replied that if he really loved me he would have e-mailed me or something and that he showed me by his actions that he is not in love with me. To my amazement he replied that if you want to leave me than its ok but he was not wrong. The moment i read this i asked him to explain how is he claiming not being wrong? than he said that he will call me when he will be free from work. (i think just to make up his mind what to say) and than on the same day he chat with me on-line and told me a story that i think was a lie as three or four days latter he asked me to meet and to come to my place (which i know for sex as a major)the moment i refused(because i don’t want to be fooled around and i want him to respect me and my feelings as well)he said because i said no that “we should try to create a distance between each other as we have come closer too fast in our relationship” and he was thinking not to meet me after returning to the city.

    Now after two or three times talking he is again vanished not calling not chatting and not even replying my massages strange for me as we are on those grounds in our understanding that we can talk for hours and hours and even we talk like great friends .
    jess i think he is not sincere with me and even don’t want to maintain a relation ship at all i think he was after sex and thats it as i asked him when he said so many times i love you that is this love if he is sure ?and he always said yes he is sure that it is love
    now that i have known about him i felt played and used as i love him and thats is so heart breaking for me even if i let him go i will be so heart broken and sad.
    jess as you have been through many hardships in your love life with your taurus man what do you think of my situation?
    and what should i do in this regard? I am amazed that how he can be so naive and reluctant to leave such a nice relationship based on friendship and instant spark?
    I sometimes wonder that may be my velnerability and love shown to him or deep emotions has triggered him off or something but as you know we are Aries and we just cant quit something worth fighting for or even just can’t stand to a rejection at all.
    The problem is that i am so simple. i have very little experience in relationships and in handling men and don’t now how to keep Tuarus around. Need your help in this regard. Should i say that i am leaving you before he insult me or i am so much confused as i messaged him couple of time wondering what has got into him but he didn’t replied to those as well which is very humiliating for me.
    Need to hear from you soon thanks friend again.
    lol

  251. #251 by saggi girl on July 11, 2009 - 7:29 pm

    hi Jess,

    you should open a second business here as you seem so popular here to get advice from, keep it up, hehehe….

    sorry, i do not have good news for you today as i fell into another drama during last few days. hope you have the patience to listen

    the story started from last last Friday, actually it was before my Taurus mentioned to move out. Actually i love my apartment, it is close to lake and it is a very nice area for single to live, i have been living there for a year and just renewed my lease the past May. Last last Friday night my Taurus called me and left me a voice mail saying that he wanted to say hi… call him back if i can otherwise, he will call me next day. so i called him back 10 minutes later,he did not answer, i assume that he might be driving, so i left him a message , but he did not call back . so i called 2nd time 40 minutes later, but he still did not answer the phone. so i text him another message saying to call me back, then i found a big bug in my apartment and it was almost dead, but i was so scared, so so so scared, it was huge, then i trapped it in a shoe box and called my ex(not taurus) about it, he told me that he will come over to kill it when he got off the work( he owns a restaurant), while i was talking to my ex, My Taurus called in and left me anther message, i called him back after i got off the phone with my ex, then he answered and told me that he was very tired and the reason he did not answer the phone is because he was on the high way and came home very tired. he was really moody and upset and told me that he just wanted to go to sleep, it seems that i bothered him by calling twice and text once, then i mentioned that i found a bug on the floor and very huge and i was so scared, then he was like” oh, kill it.” i said that i can not as it was very scary, he was like” well, you have to do it, do not act like a baby, it was just a bug.” i said that i can not, then he was like” well, i am sorry, i can not help.” then i said ” i do not need your help as i have already found the help.” then he was like” who?”, i was really upset by his reponse and all the cold moody tone, then i said” why you care?” then i hung up the phone. so, my ex came and killed the bug and left…

    next day, around noon, Taurus called me and left me a message, apologized for his behavior last night, and stated that he was very crappy and got a lot on his mind, he just want to apologize and asked me to give him a call.

    i did not call back but text him saying that sometimes he just hit me so hard but i chose to forgive him.” then he text back saying that he will call me later and wished me a good day. 4 hours later, he called me again but i was busy at the moment, so he left me another voice mail, then we finally talked again later the day, he told me that he was very tired right now and his job might be that stable, blah blah…, then we talked a while, he said that he was still outside working and will go home later as he was very tired, so he mentioned that he wants to see me tomorrow( which was last Sunday—-when we talked about moving in stuff…)

    so, Sunday i saw him, and his phone rang, he told me that it is his aunt and he needs to answer. His aunt told him that his mom was up watching TV today and it was such a surprise as she has been sleeping a lot and very depressed about her brain cancer, so he was very happy to hear the update about his mom and finally his aunt put his mom on the phone, he said” mom, i love you, it is great you are better.” but his mom can not hear him, so he kept telling her that he loves her, but his mom seems having a difficult to understand over the phone,( it seems related to her brain problem), so he told his aunt to tell his mom that he loves her and will see her very soon( actually he came back from the trip to see her 3 weeks ago). i kind of feeling bad after hear that especially the communication was happening right in front of me. so, we talked a little and that is part of the reason why i offered him to move in with me.

    the drama started last night, as i stayed with my friend for a few day as i saw a few bugs again and i was so scared to stay, so the past wednesday i called my friend to pick me up and pack a few clothe to stay with her for a few days to decide if i need to break the lease or not, but on the same night, i called him after i found a few more bugs around, it was around 8:45pm, he answered, i asked him if he was at work, he told me that he is not at work but busy with work at coffee shop but still in downtown where is close to his work. i told him what has happened about the bugs,( as it turns out the plamento bugs, the kind can fly and nasty. i told him that i got panic and scared, he was like” pick your shoes and kill it.” i said that i can not, then he is like” do not cry like a baby, do it right now, i will stay on the phone, kill it.” then i said” i will look for help.” he sounds not happy to hear me say that. so i hung up the phone and called my girlfriend and she picked me up to her house, i called property management company and then they said that they will come to exterminate tomorrow. on my way to my girlfriend home, he called me to check on me, but i did not hear, so he left me a message and hope me ok, and problem got solved. i texted him back and stated that i was on my way to my girlfriend house, might be staying for a few days, might break the lease as i do not want to live there anymore regardless, then he texted back like” be safe, i will call you tomorrow and think of exterminate before move out.”, he called me next day as he said, he just got off the work around 9:30pm, and asked how i was, if i checked with landlord, if i have made a decison, and asked if i need to consider to give landlord a second chance, how was the stay with my girlfriend, how long i will stay over there? so i said” i need someone to protect me.’ he was like: i want to protect you but not tonight.” so conversation was ended well, then he said that he will call me next day which was last night, but Jess, i feel so bad when my cowoker to their own home but i can not return. i know i might be overacted over this accident, but i was just being me, i never experience this before, so i might be overreacted at someone’s eye. so, last night, my girlfriend went out but i stayed in her house, i called him before he called me( as he said to), he was driving and told me that he went to see the doctor after work, as he needs to do a surgery on his neck due to car accident. so, he asked how i was, then i told him that i felt bad, then he started like” you need to grow up, there are so much hardship in life, things are bigger than that, if you run away even think to break the lease, how could you handle the bigger thing in life, Blah Blah, what if you move to another apartment with the same problem?” then i felt really upset for hearing this, as i need comfort but not like him pointing his finger telling me what to do, what i should have done, why i have not done? so, i confronted him and stated that i was very disppointed and why he can not offer me the support like my girlfriend does( not point finger just give me time to make up mind), then he was like” i can not do that right now, you know my living situation, if i have my own place, of course i will pick you up to stay with me. you think i do not feel bad about it, my life sucks, i am supporting you, i was trying to find you a solution and just try to talk to you as an adult, i only deal with my job, my mom and you, i was exhausted right now about my situation, i do not talk to any other girl at all, you are the only one i talked to, i have so many shits in my life i need to deal with, my mom is dying. what do you want from me? I was lost , i called to check up on you right after the work even though it was late, but those are the only things i can do right now. i care for you a lot but i can not put down i was doing to come to your apartment to kill the bug for you, i can not give you more than that. blah blah…then i asked what he is going to do on sunday which is tomorrow, he said that he needs to do something but he can see me, so i was like” could you go back with me to my apartment to check how it went as my landlord stated that they have already sprayed the whole building? he said ” yeah, so just go there to check your apartment? i can meet you there, or pick you up from your girlfriend place.” i do not know, Jess, i do not know if it is because of me or him, just feel like i am not getting what i wanted, is he selfish or i asked for too much, i think what i am asking from him is reasonable, but it seems that he can not do like i expected him to do. then i went crazy, i told him that i want to get married, then he was like” what did you say?’, i repeated, the he was like” well, it was sweet, but i am ready to get married for sure.” then i was like” what we are to each other?’ then he was like” Jesus, again, i know it will come again, i do not want to go there right now, i do not.” then i was like” did you ever picture me as your wife or anything even though you are ready to get married.” then he was like:” i do not even think about the marriage right now, how could i picture?’ i do not do that at all, i can not give you the promise that when i am ready, i will marry you. i need to divorce first, i want to get marry someday when i am ready, but not right now. i do not even think about it.’ i was really upset by him saying that, so i said something very bad by saying that he is using me, stringing me along, blah blah, he said that i will call you tomorrow, the i was like” do not call me anymore, this will be last conversation we have.” then he was like” i will call you tomorrow.” i hung up the phone. 10 minutes later, i felt very hurt and texted him a message Like” just pretend that we never know each other, i am always on my own, i know that. you do not owe me anything, but we need to turn to a new leaf of our lives, do not contact me anymore, please, i mean it, take care.” he did not reply, this morning when i wake up, i felt so bad , i do not know, so i called him( i know i should not have done that, it was stupid after i sent the text message like that) left him a message apologizing for the harsh text message, he did not return my phone call, so i text him again saying that i was in my apartment checking and sorry for the text message, i only do this to the people i was close to but unfortunately he is one of them. if he would forgive me for that.” then he texted me back like” i will call you later, busy now. tell landlord that your drains do not work right, that might be a part of the problem.” well, i lost, it seems that he is ok……

    Jess, what do i need to do? i really want to walk away especially after he told me that he is not ready for marriage, but i just lost my face to walk back, he must look down on me, right? am i really dramatic? what do you think his reaction to the bug issue? you think he is right on that? did i expect too much out of him with his situation? what will you do if you were me.

    sorry, Jess, i feel so bad today…. be honest with me if you think i was wrong or he was wrong. as i was lost in this situation.

  252. #252 by Jess on July 12, 2009 - 3:17 am

    Saggi girl,

    You really sound so saggiiiiiiii just like my another 2 saggi girlfriends…lol Your bug episode recall me so much of them both lol…

    Saggi girl, if you go back and read your post again, you will see you consciously express it how unnecessary this should not happen. And how deep inside you knew you are overreactting and how your man did his best to help you.

    Nobody is wrong here but to be honest, i have to say you are being childish saggi girl. I’m sure you genuinely get scared of the bugs otherwise you would not leave the apartment. When you reach out to seek help from him but be let down by the phone conversation to tell you need to take care it (alone) as adult, you get disaapointed and feel like.. “i knew it, at the end he let me down again just like any other time before” Then you let your sensitivity grow and taking over you, you top it up by bringing in the issue of marriage to him hoping to hear the positive feedback so that it calms your mind, so that it confirms he truely love and care, and if he says he wants the marriage too then all your disappointment will be washed away and you will be happy again.

    Did you see it Saggi girl? its all about what you want and how you want it (for him to come and help) without seeing what he can and already did (give you support over the phones after phones) what you should not over look is that he called a lot and did the best he could under his circumstance to support you. Eventhough you feel its not good enough, your gf, you another ex bf did it better while your own taurus bf can only help you from a distant (doesnt that sound so Taurus? lol)

    At the end of the day, bringing the question about marriage really sounds irrelevant…

    Saggi girl, you CAN NOT always pull up the issue of love and marriage over the minor argument or when you are being let down and feel bad. In my opinion, you talk about marriage when you really mean it and you talk about it when you are in a stable and calm and happy moments. You dont ask about it just so you can go to sleep with happy mind or just to reassure if a guy really love you or if a guy really want a future with you, ESPECIALLY NOT when both you and your bf are in a hard situation and both are tired and emotional.

    Please always remember, Taurus is VERY OBJECTIVE people in any circumstance. If he told you he loves you and even want to marry you, that is a commitment!

    Saggi girl, a guy is having a real hard time of his life with job and mother. (I cant think how i’m going to go thru it if it happens to me, just hope when something like that happen to me I will atleast have someone when i look back) And now his gf is seeking attention and support over a bug life (lol). Saggi girl, if you are his girl, you need to be stronger than ever to be a force and support for him. When one is down, one have to be up. You need to pass this because there will be a time in your life you will go thru more hardships. And one day in your life this experience will help you become very strong when you will be someone’s mother.

    Forget about a bugs life, about losing face or walking back, you havnt been walking much anywherere as far as I can see lol… haha sorry girl! Dont get lost saggi girl, I read you and I see you are not lost. You only get too emotional and only see thing more on your side. You knew well your story and his story.

    Drama doesnt necessary make a tragic ending. Rest your mind, get some more sleep and eat healthy food. When your mind and body is stronger you will get stronger spirit then you will have a stronger heart to handle not only you but your man’s problem. He will call again soon and you knew that so be nice to him ๐Ÿ˜‰

  253. #253 by Jess on July 12, 2009 - 3:40 am

    HI Jena ali,

    I dont remember we talked before? but welcome aboard!

    First of all, NEVER and NEVER take it as humuliation or offensive when Taurus dont reply your contact! You need to calm down and stop acting up to any reactions OR NON REACTIONs from your taurus. Its good that you are simple and in general, Taurus men are simple also (despite of their twisted and bi-polar behaviour!) I say they are simple before if you really look you will see the kind of repeated behaviour in them: chasing hard, distant himself, coming back again to chasing hard…. and the twisted cycle go on and on, on and on…..

    You just need to be calm and try to figure out his way. Ask yourself if you think you are able to put up and live up with that. If you want to give it a try, when he is far too much and you get upset then talk to him face to face. Dont ask to break up or to leave hoping it will signal a threat and it will make him scare and try to improve. No, it only signals as a blackmail to him. And guess what unless he already decided you are his girl and that he really loves you, he has no problem you want to leave him.

    If you feel you are being played, then back off and reclaim your balance state. Being an ARies I know we need it! Then talk to him like adult when you are not overflooded by emotion. And if you still want to have anything to do with him, expect the twisted cycle I mentioned above lol.

  254. #254 by Jess on July 12, 2009 - 5:41 am

    Oh Saggi girl,

    I forgot to tell you, dont worry about him looking down on you or what he would think after your text to leave you alone but call to apologise and lose face by walking back…. lol.

    The fact that he not only just text you back but even urge you to tell the landlord to check the drain! That shows he truely care for you and for your (bug) problem. Saggi girlllll, when a guy truely love you, he is not going to break up or leave his gf just because she is being overreact (and make a big deal over it by asking about marriage and ask to break up but walk back by herself…. hehehe sorry saggi girl i just cant help picking on you, you are too funny ;-))

    He is not angry at you for sure! (but may be feel sad and tired that his gf dont understand him), probably he angry for himself that he cant be there for you. Its understandable you expect help and support from your partner when you in need, but dont get disappointed when he cant help to the maximum (and you know why), but look at his will and intention and how he tried to be there (even not physically but he is there all the time isnt he?)

    So, yes you are a bit dramatic this time lol. And how he would think about you and your bug? if he wasnt in a bad shape you would probably giggle (like I did) and think you are silly but now that he is in a deep shit, he probably feel sad and tired but I guess he knows you well and his last text shows that he feels bad he cant be a man you want him to be there for you but he is not leaving ๐Ÿ˜‰ So what you should do is when you talk to him next time dont mention about this too much, try to make a joke out of it if you can. Humour always ease the tension. I know atleast for my Taurus he absolutely loves joking. If he asked about the bug, say the problem is fixed then ask him what he thinks to do with this little bug (you;-)) and when you see him again, be sweet and bring him food (never forget Taurust trait!)

    Well, saggi girl, when you look back I’m sure your bug life story will make a good joke that bring a good laugh to both of you in the future ๐Ÿ˜‰

  255. #255 by Jena ali on July 12, 2009 - 1:11 pm

    Dear Jess!

    Thanks for your kind reply i must say you are great in understanding the relationships matters and we have accepted you an expert in that! lol
    hahaha any ways we did talk some days back as on the same platform which further encouraged me to wright to you again.

    Jess i sometimes wonder why we are with the bulls waiting and waiting for them to turn to be open and understanding to us and to be emotionally available but 99% of the time they are not there for us when we need them the most to share our feelings as we Aries are open and sincere and need our partner to be emotionally available to us we hate ambiguity and wish things to be simple and easy.

    Just because they are far to reach and Aries love the thrill to chase thats is the reason we can’t quit or just that attraction they create,the charisma of youthfulness,hard to reach or signaling unavailable all the time keeps us on our toes.

    The problem with me is that i don’t know i am missing him ! Should i contact him or call him or just stay still not making any move? i think i will signal nagging or clinging if i will do that or what if he will not answer?

    it will paint me needy in his mind or he will further pull away
    there is so much confusion in my mind as he said that “we are so fast in our relationship and we should slow down”

    May be it signaled me that he has lost his interest in me and he is trying to cut himself out of it or to turn his back on me.

    Should i call him to discuss this matter or should i leave this realationship position in ambiguity and to his end?
    it kills me day by day never keeping my mind out of it.

    Please advise!!!

    And for sure i want to be friend with you because you sound so sensible and understanding.
    thanks for your support

    Love u.

  256. #256 by saggi girl on July 12, 2009 - 4:36 pm

    Hi Jess,

    Thank you so much for your advice and comment over my dramatic situation, i just wake up and first thing i did is to turn on my girlfriend’s computer to see if you have already replied, when i saw it, i blured out” thank God, Jess replied.” then my girlfrind asked me” who is Jess?” I said” you do not need to know, she is my Jess.”

    It makes a lot of sense to me after i read your comment, how could you be so calm and so considerate, i think whoever fully have you as his girl must be the luckiest man in the world, i hope i could be that man, hehehe, sorry for being so silly, as i am silly sometimes….

    Jess, yeah, like you said that he did call last night, but i did not hear, so he left me a message asking for a call back, so i called him back and he asked how was the apartment, if i asked the landlord about the drain, so i said that i did. then i told him that i felt sorry, then he is like” i will get over it, but do not want to talk about it.” i was like” i felt very tired and felt into sleep on the bus today.” he is like” yeah, you made me tired too.” i said” i know i was a little crazy.” then he is like” a little??” then i was like” well, yeah, a little too much, but you have to understand me too, as i was just scared and need time to adjust, and felt a little disppointed that you can not help me the way i want you to.” he is like” yeah, i know.” then he told me that tomorrow he will be busy with his work and do something, then i was like” wow, i thought you could go to the apartment with me to check a few things as i felt safer when you are there with me.” he is like” i know, i will try and try hard, i mean it.” then he told me that things are always back and forth, up and down, he got to concentrate on his work, then i was like” i am sorry, baby.” then like you said that i joked a little bit about something, then he laughed, then i asked him” are we ok now?” he was like” yeah, we are ok.” then he told me that he will call me tomorrow which was today before 12pm to inform me if he could go with me or not, then he said” have a good sleep, baby, i will call you tomorrow, i gotta go now back to my study for my work.”

    so, that is the update and it seems ok this time, i do not know if he will remember this or not later on use to against me, but i will remember this lesson, trying to be understanding and like you said to grow stronger…. if i want to stay around…

    Thanks Jess, you are my hero, i really hope some day i could meet you in person…dreaming of that day…hehehehe.

    have a nice day, Jess, oh, you might sleep right now, then have a sweet dream. Hope all is well with you…

  257. #257 by saggi girl on July 12, 2009 - 6:08 pm

    hi, Jess,

    “When you reach out to seek help from him but be let down by the phone conversation to tell you need to take care it (alone) as adult, you get disaapointed and feel like.. โ€œi knew it, at the end he let me down again just like any other time beforeโ€ Then you let your sensitivity grow and taking over you, you top it up by bringing in the issue of marriage to him hoping to hear the positive feedback so that it calms your mind, so that it confirms he truely love and care, and if he says he wants the marriage too then all your disappointment will be washed away and you will be happy again.”——————————Wow, i was so shocked when i saw this, you just knew me so well. is your major psychology?

  258. #258 by cloud9 on July 14, 2009 - 4:58 am

    Hey all!
    I have been missing in action, but I always seem to make my appearance eventually.

    As of july 10, my taurus guy and I have become much closer. Once we had one big fight(a mont ago) and I didn’t talk to him, he came to realize he did not want to lose me(per him). We have had talks about the future and heis constantly making references about my wife-like qualities. He pays attention to EVERYTHING I do. I have met his friends and I am going to meet his cousin, this week. I guess, I won’t meet his mother until much later.

    At any rate, what I have noticed is that first year with taurus is the worst. This man knows I have his back. He returns what I give to him. He rubs my back. He brings me food and is my rock, when I need it. I know that he has been hurt so many times before, so I make sure he is feels comfortable and not feel I am going to purposefully hurt him.

    He is spending lots of time over my house, so I must say it has been a bumpy ride and PATIENCE has paid off.

    I am going to bed because I am soooo tired, but will continue….

  259. #259 by Jess on July 14, 2009 - 12:10 pm

    ++ Jena ali,

    Being an Aries, I just dont know if i will ever find that man who can support me emotionally and keep up with my up and down fast and unstable emotion! LOL I get distracted too easily , having a hard time focus on one thing at a time, besides i get bored of thing too fast… Really i even think Taurus might make a good match for us since Aries, because we seek challenge and need to be ignored to get interested…haha i guess we are also twisted somehow.

    Well jena, dont call him. Dont show just yet your feeling for him. The fact that you are always there when he contact you is good enough for him to see you are interested. Taurus is very smart! Until YOU can figure his way out, and until he starts open up his feeling to you first, that is when you can start signal how you feel but on discreet.

    ++ Saggi girl,

    Your reply really put a smile all over me! Thank you! I’m sooo happy my words can calm you down and that everything is ok for you again. I think your Taurus sounds genuine, and truely care for you. Really I wish things get better for him with his mom and carrer, and that your relationship will lead to marriage one day!

    ++ Cloud9,

    Hi! wow very nice to hear from you again! Looking forward to your continual!

    Take care everybody and hope the rest of us are doing just fine!

  260. #260 by saggi girl on July 14, 2009 - 3:23 pm

    Hi Cloud9,

    i am glad that things work out for you very well. I guess you are the only one here getting something out of your taurus. Congratulation….

    keep us posted…

  261. #261 by saggi girl on July 14, 2009 - 4:21 pm

    Hi Dear Jess,

    thanks for your message and i am happy you feel that way.

    i am sorry that i am always one drama after another especially recently we fight a lot even on sunday. He picked me up from my girlfriend’s house and we went together to my place, once i got in the car, he told me that he only got 2 hours orso, so i’d better hurry up and he got some reading to do for his work. so he also said that he is happy to see me even though i drove the shit out of him, so i was joking like” yeah, even though i drove you crazy but you still love me, right?” he was smiliing and said” i wouldn’t use that word.” then i was not very happy but did not say anything but he sensed it and then he said” can we just stop it, i just want to spend happy time together, you know i am not ready for that word.” then i was like:” hi, i am just kidding, as you can say that to a friend too, right? like even though you are the pain in my ass, but i still love you.” then he was like” yeah, right, stop playing the game, what you think i am, a idiot, a kid?” so, i changed the topic right away and then we moved on until i asked how he feels about my girlfriend, ( actually there are 4 ladies in the room including me), then he made the comment one by one, until i asked how about the other one(i mean me), he said” who?”, i said”the other one.” he said” who, i have already told you for all of them.” i said” the other one.” then he lost his temper and yelling like” who????.” then i was like” me.” then he was like” oh, my god, i am sorry, i am so sorry, i felt so bad for doing that to you, Jesus, it is so embrassing.” so i cried in the car because his yelling at me, so he was like” sorry, baby, i am so sorry, of course you are pretty, very pretty, i think you drive me crazy, but i need to settle down a little bit too, i am so sorry, then he kissed my hair and hold my hand in the car while he was driving.” then i tought the drama will be end for the day as i can not take any more dramas, i am at my breaking point….

    sorry, bear with me. we walked to my place and then i started cleaning while he is talking to his mom on the phone( she called him), i did as quick as i can, then he told me to leave the table for him to move, i said ok. then he asked if i wanna go grab something to eat, i said my girlfriend was waiting for me to cook together but i could grab something to eat. while i was cleaning, he kind of rushing me to do it quick while i have already done it as quickest as i can, until i am almost done when he said” hi, hurry up.” then i was like” be patient.” then he was like” well, i told you i need to do some reading for my work.” then i was like” well, you do not have to drive me to my girlfriend’s place, i can take bus.” then he was like” is that what you want? so, i can go now, right?” i was like” yeah.” then he jumped up very mad and started putting on his shoes, then Jess, i was really lost, then i said” how about the dinner.” he was like” i am not hungry, you take bus to go back when you are done. ok? i am leaving and got some stuff to do, we will talk next week but right now i need to go, do not stay too late.” then he was trying to kiss me goodbye and kept telling me it is ok but it does not look ok at all. then i walked away and said” i really do not know what i did wrong, you kept saying you are ok, but your action was not saying that.” then he left.

    since i was almost done, then i packed up a few things getting ready to take bus, but on myway to bus station, then i stopped by a coffee shop to get a iced coffee, i saw him sitting in staring at his computer, then he saw me while i was waiting in line for my coffee, then i was asking myself if i need to say hello or just left, then i looked at him and then he was shrugging his shoulder and asked what is going on. then i was like” i am getting my coffee.” then i decided to say hello before i go, then he ended up accusing me of stalking him, he does not think it is a coincidence even though i explained, he was like” i can not deal with it right now, and i do not think it is a coincidence, you just wore me out, well, i need to get something done right now, so just take bus to go.” so, i was like” let me say something very quick, i do not know what is going on, i appreciated your help but you kept rushing me while i have already did the quickest i can, then i was thinking maybe you are really in that hurry, so you do not have to drive me home.” he was like” you just wore me out, i do not want to talk about it.” then i felt very hurt and embarrasing when he accused me of stalking, then i was like” why you think i am stalking, you are just embrassing me.” then i walked away…….

    Jess, i was really hurt really by he treated me, what i am to him? a toy, he can scream at whenever he can? then i went to my girlfriend’s house, 2 hours later, my phone rang, it is him, so i did not answer the phone, then he left me a message like” hi, it is me,give me call back and let me know where you are at, i want to make sure you are safe, call me. bye.” i did not call back, then he called again 20 minutes later, i did not answer either. 40 minutes later, he called again. i still did not answer as i was really hurt…

    Jess, i do not know what is going on between 2 of us, or him. it just kept getting wrong. i do not know if he is playing a game or just trying to push me away instead of saying that to my face. I heard that taurus man sometimes does not want to dump you by saying it, instead, they want you to go away on your own. is that the case? i just do not know, i think either he has some issue or i got to see the doctor. i just do not know what his intention is….

    really tired.. really..

  262. #262 by Jess on July 15, 2009 - 12:19 pm

    Saggi girl,

    I would guess what is going on between 2 of you are tiredness and strain. How could small things go so far and creat such a big reaction…

    You are still vulnerable propably from suppressing your sensitivity from the last drama, while your taurus is about to collapse from all the problems and cant be at his best to handle you. This could lead both of you to emotional breakdown.

    Saggi girl, it doesnt look like he is playing any game, look to me like he is very tired he losing his temper so easy. It doesnt matter now everything that happend, why he accused you and how he yelling at you. He is not leaving this time?! and giving you a call constantl. Saggi girl, the guy is running out of his stamina soon… I think I might need to remind you Taurus can be incredibly sensitive too (but they just hide it so well)

    Saggi girl, get some sleep then please pick up his phone or call back just to leave a message that you are ok. When your ego get hurt, its not easy to be that person who pick up the phone to make a call first. I see his caring is in there.

    Give each other some time off, get rest and leave it a few days before you meet again.

    Cheer up and hugs,
    Jess.

  263. #263 by saggi girl on July 15, 2009 - 1:45 pm

    HI Jess,

    Thank you so much for your advice, i think i passed the good time to call as right now it’s Wednesday Morning. You really caught what was going on between 2 of us, i think it is like you said that we both were just tired, and he lost his temper so easily, which makes me think that he just does not care how i feel, especially when he accused me of stalking, i think he insulted me by saying that……., a guy friend of mine kept telling me to give up and he thought that i might be too nice to him, so he took advance of me, like i always tried to help him with his problem, when he has a problem, i thought as mine too. when he was in bad mood, i feel it and always tried to find a way to cheer him up. so, when we have a fight, i always got back with him even after he said that he does not love me(remember?), but i still got back with him right after he called. so, he thought that i can not live without him, so he can do whatever he wanted to me as i won’t leave no matter what, just a phone call, i will be there again. i do not know if that is the case, but it might be true….

    I think we both need a break especially when his situation was not stable( job and his mom), i wanted to be there for him with all my heart, but i just do not know how to deal with it without hurting myself……

    Jess, again, thank you so much for your patience with me…. i know it needs a great deal of patience …

  264. #264 by Jess on July 15, 2009 - 2:14 pm

    Saggi girl,

    I think he does care for you. But your friends see that its hard and troublesome having a relationship with him. What about when he seems to be in a bad mood or not getting enough sleep, perhaps you want to avoid seeing him(?) I know I would do that and I also avoid people myself when I was in bad mood or didnt get enough sleep. Because its so easy to take it out your temper on the person who is there close to you…

    Instead be there when he is down and emotional, (when his spirit is low and need a person touch) this way you will reap the effort.

    May be you just send him a text instead of calling back (to avoid the heat) just to leave him a subtle note that you are tired but will be ok in time.

    Dont worry, because when things get tough that’s when you see the truth. Get rest and get your spirit back soon.

  265. #265 by saggi girl on July 17, 2009 - 1:49 pm

    Hi Jess,

    Just want to give you the update. Actually after i read your last comment, i texted him saying that being sorry for late in responding and thank him for thinking about me, and also gave him a little update on my house situation. then he did not reply my message( it was ok as he does not reply unless it is a question asked), then later in the afternoon, then i saw a few post for apartment rental which fits him, so i texted him again about the posts, asked if i need to reply to the post. 2 minutes later, my phone rang but it showed unknown number, but i answered, it was him. he was telling me that he can not make a decision right now about the apartment, but i can keep the information so he can call later. then he told me that he was at work and his phone got a problem but he can receive text message, and thanked for my text message letting him know that i was ok, then he said” wow, it has been a few days i haven’t heard from you, i worried about you.” i said” ok.” then he said” you were just crazy, blow the beautiful afternoon off.” i wanted to keep in silience, but i said” i think you were just tired, so you lost your temper so easily.” he said” no, it’s not like that, but i do not want to talk about it right now.” i said” ok.” then he is like” so, you are ok, it is good. i will call you later the week once my phone’s problem got solved.” i said” ok.” then he said” i need to get back to work, bye.” well, that is the update, Jess.

    actually, i was picturing myself in his shoes like” job was not making money to cover the expense or maybe lose it, and so many things to learn if he wants to make good abuot the job while his mom’ life is on the line.” i think it would be very hard to deal with, right? i think sometimes, i do need to take the focus off myself while the other one has the worst situation. It IS ridiculous that i bothered him that much with my bug problem expecting that he gave me full support( like coming in to kill it for me), probably it is very hard to his mind fccusing on my bug problem while dealing with job and thinking about his mom…. i do not know,sometimes, i was thinking that he was using those as an excuse, but i never picture it how i would feel if it happened to me, i guess it is hard… that’s why he kept telling me that he did give me attention but his priority right now is his job and his mom….

    Hope all is well……

  266. #266 by cloud9 on July 19, 2009 - 11:52 am

    HEY ALL!

    SAGGI GIRL, I MUST ADRESS YOU FIRST, BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING!

    I AM STARTING TO FEEL LIKE AN EXPERT, WHEN IT COMES TO THESE TAURUS GUYS.

    I USED THE TIME HE TOOK(NOT CALLING, OR SPENDING TIME WITH HIM), TO SERIOUSLY STUDY HIS BEHAVIOR.

    A MAN WANTS TO BE A MAN. ALWAYS LET HIM THINK HE WINS. THE LESS YOU SAY TO HIM, THE BETTER YOU COME OUT. MY TAURUS MAN AND I WERE TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING MICHAEL JACKSON HAD SAID. HE WENT OVERBOARD WITH WHAT HE SAID. I WAS THINKING: WTF??!! I GOT QUIET AND LET HIM FINISH OUT THE CONVERSATION. I KNOW THAT ONCE HE IS ON A ROLL TO SPEAK, HE HAS TO COMPLETE HIS THOUGHT. IN INTERRUPTED A FEW FEW TIMES, THOUGH, IN AN ATTEMPT TO MAKE A POINT WITHOUT LOSING WHAT I WANTED TO SAY AND HE GOT UPSET WITH THAT. HE TOLD ME THAT I DIDN’T VALUE HIS WORDS. SO, HE GOT UPSET. I, THEN GOT UPSET BECAUSE HE MISUNDERSTOOD MY ACTIONS.

    I TOLD HIM THAT I DO VALUE HIM AND HIS WORDS AND THAT MY ATTEMPT TO INTERRUPT WAS NOT AN IMPLICATION OF ME NOT VALUING HIS WORDS, BUT MERELY A DISCUSSION OF SORT. I TOLD HIM THAT I LOVE HIM AND I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM. HOWEVER, HE MENTIONED THAT WOMEN THAT HE HAD DISCUSSIONS WITH IN THE PAST DID NOT VALUE HIS WORDS AND NOT CARE WHAT HE HAD TO SAY. I REMINDED HIM THAT I WAS NOT ANYONE OF THOSE PAST WOMEN.

    THERE WAS SILENCE FOR A FEW MINUTES AND SOME TENSION. I KNOW THAT MY MAN HAS “GONE THROUGH IT” BUT SO DID I. I KNOW HOW TO SEPERATE HIM FROM THE PAST JERKS. HE SEEMS TO HAVE A SLIGHT PROBLEM WITH DOING THE SAME FOR ME. THE GOOD THING IS IS THAT HE CATCHES HIS MISTAKES AND ADMITS TO IT. THAT, HE CAN BE REWARDED FOR.

    SO, AS WE WERE DRIVING TO THE CITY, EVERY NOW AND THEN, HE WOULD SAY CHECK TO SEE IF I WAS OK. AT THIS POINT. I WAS SILENT. I SHOWED VERY LITTLE EMOTION AND I WAS GIVING HIM TIME TO THINK. THIS HERE IS THE KEY. IF WE KEEP GOING OFF AT THE MOUTH, THEY GET FRUSTRATED AND IT KEEPS THE BALL ROLLING. IF YOU STAY QUIET(AS A MEANS OF STRATEGY)YOU WILL MOST LIKELY WIN, EVERY TIME. BECAUSE WHEN THEY GET SILENT, THEY ARE THINKING AND PROCESSING, SO IF YOU START TALKING AGAIN, YOU DISRUPT THEIR POSSIBLE ATTEMPT TO WANT TO APOLOGIZE OR—ADMIT TO THEIR WRONGNESS.

    HE KNOWS, WHEN I GET SILENT, HE GETS KIND OF NERVOUS. HE DOESN’T QUITE KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO DO. IT TAKES A WHILE TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS, BUT TRUST ME. SILENCE CAN BE YOUR BEST FRIEND!

    WE HAD GONE OUT TO A FAMILY FUNCITON EARLIER AND THEN HE WANTED TO GO OUT WITH SOME FRIENDS AND HE WANTED TO CHECK WITH ME BEFORE GOING OUT. I WAS LIKE: SURE! I GIVE HIM HIS FREEDOM. LET HIM ROAM WITH THE OTHER BUFFALOES! LOL! THIS GIVE HIM TIME TO CAPTURE HIS MANLY CONNECTIONS AND I CAN DO WHAT I NEED TO DO.

    BUT, SAGGI GIRL, ITS NOT WORTH IT TO GET INTO AN ARGUMENT WITH A TAURUS. THEY DON’T LIKE TO ARGUE AND THE Y GET FURIOUS WHEN THEY DO. SO, LEARN HIS WAYS AND WORK THROUGH IT. ONCE YOU LEARN HIS PATTERN, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO WORK THE SITUAITON WHERE IT BENEFITS YOU BOTH.

    MY TAURUS MAN DOEN’T TELL ME HE LOVES ME OFTEN. HE TELLS ME IN OTHER WAYS. HE WILL USE OTHER WORDS AND I AM OK WITH THAT. I AM SURE THE DAY WILL COME WHEN HE CAN FREELY SAY I LOVE YOU, JUST AS I DO. I SEE IT IN HIS ACTIONS, SO I UNDERSTAND.

    REMEMBER, A MAN LIKES IT WHEN YOU ARE BEING SUBMISSIVE AND BY THIS I AM NOT SAYING GET ON YOUR KNEES AND ACT LIKE A SLAVE, BUT SOME MEN NEED THE VALIDATION BECAUSE THEY MAY BE GOING THROUGH SOME TOUGH TIMES. LET HIM KNOW YOU UNDERSTAND OR TRYING TO UNDERSTAND, SO THAT HE WON’T BE SO EMOTIONAL AND QUICK TO BLOW UP.

    TRY NOT TO GO BACK AND FORTH WITH HIM, AS THIS GET FRUSTRATING WITH HIM(AND FOR YOU, I AM SURE). IF HE ASKS YOU TO DO SOMETHING OR SAY SOMETHING AND YOU THROW IT BACK AT HIM, HE WILL GET FRUSTRATED. HE WANTS TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. IF YOU WANT TO DO “IT”(WHATEVER IT IS), LET HIM KNOW AND THE CONVERSATION CAN END THERE. THERE IS NO TENSION AND YOU CAN MOVE ON FROM THERE.

    ALSO, TRY NOT TO GET HUNG UP ON HIM CALLING, TOO. TAKE THE TIME TO STUDY HIM, LIKE I DID. DON’T BE AFRAID TO GIVE HIM HIS SPACE. HE WILL COME BACK. TAURUS MEN APPEAR TO BE SO WEIRD, BUT THEY ARE THE CREAM OF THE CROP, I AM TELLING YOU! MINE STILL OPENS THE DOORS FOR ME, PULLS MY CHAIR, VOLUNTARILY GRABS THE BAGS, ETC. THIS MEANS ALOT TO ME. THIS IS WHAT I FEEL A MAN SHOULD DO FOR A WOMAN AND HE DOES IT. I DO FOR HIM, TOO. I ALWAYS ASK TO RUB HIS BACK AND HE LOVES IT. I KNOW THATS WHAT HE LIKES AND I DON’T MIND DOING IT. THE FUNNY THING IS, HE WILL, IN TURN ASK TO RUB MY BACK. DO YOU THINK I AM GOING TO SAY NO? I GET IN POSITION, REAL QUICK,LOL!

    ALSO, DON’T HAVE HIM AROUND YOUR FRIENDS, TOO MUCH. MOST MEN FEEL OUT OF PLACE LIKE THAT AND THEY TEND TO SEE YOU AS BEING CADDY. TRUST ME, HE PROBABLY FEELS LIKE HE IS ON THE CHOPPING BLOCK AND MAY FEEL YOUR FRIENDS ARE JUDGING HIM. THIS COULD ALSO ACCOUNT FOR SOME NEGATIVE BEHAVIOR, ESPECIALLY, IF HE HAS SOME THINGS TO DO WITH.
    TILL WE TALK, AGAIM

    CLOUD9

  267. #267 by Saggi girl on July 19, 2009 - 11:04 pm

    Hi Cloud9,

    Thank you so much for your advice, and i think it is the golden thought that silence is the best friend. I think my problem is that i talked too much, i was trying to get back at him whenever he said something being judgmental, I do not know how is your Taurus , but mine is always want to be in control. Like yesterday(saturday), i finally talked to him after his phone problem solved, he was telling me that he will go to his friend’s house later the night to spend the 1-2 hours for dinner as they invited him, he then said that he will call me on Sunday( that is what we normally do) but he did not mention that if he wants to see me or not( he normally said it on saturday), so i went out to my friend’s house when he called around noon, he asked where i was, i said that i was at my friend’s house, will be back home around 4pm, then he was like” well, it seems that we are not able to see each other today.” then i was like” i will be home at 4PM. the he was like” no, i won’t be able to see you by that time, i was thinking to see you in an hour around 1pm, then i will go home to study for my job.” then i was like” well, you did not tell me you want to see me.” he was like” well, i did not plan you on my schedule today as i got a lot of things to do.” blah blah, i kind of feeling bad as he does not want to make effort to see me, everything has to go with his way…..i do not know if your Taurus is like this or not… anyway, mine is like that,and sometimes.

    well, i do not know how far i could go with his way, but i am still hanging in there until i can not someday… I am really appreciated that you could share some tips with me, keep me posted, i want to learn more since you are very successful…

    have a nice weekend to you all, hope you are doing great with your weekend…

  268. #268 by Jules on July 20, 2009 - 10:09 pm

    Hi Girls

    I have been reading all your comments for days now and have been in stitches. I am a Taurus and have been dating one of these creatures for two days now and had I not come across this site and all your experiences, I probably would have gone totally insane by now. Can relate to each and every one of you. Thought I had the upper hand in the beginnning being a Taurus myself, but no I am just as confused as all of you are. Look forward to telling you the whole story some time.

    Hang in there girls, we may just all have a happy ending sooner or later for some poor sod to read about in a year or two.

    Speak later

  269. #269 by Jules on July 20, 2009 - 10:16 pm

    Hi Me again.

    Have been dating for two months now not two days (Sorry)

  270. #270 by saggi girl on July 21, 2009 - 6:23 pm

    Jules,

    hi, welcome to this site, looking forward to hearing from you more…

  271. #271 by cloud9 on July 22, 2009 - 1:31 pm

    Saggi girl,

    Your taurus guy has done very similar things my guy does. I had my taurus friend guide me along. She told me I had to do more than him. I was like WTF?! I figures it was worth a shot, since we clicked so well and I wanted to know more about him.

    When you act in a way that taurus feels threatened of unfamiliar with, they are not going to “put you on their schedule”. Once they are comfortable with who you are, they will make sure they see you more and more. Also, if he is trying to get his life straightened out, you might want him to know how supportive you are of him. If he is studying for his job, offer to help in any possible. Tell him you don’t want to disturb him, while he is studying. They like to know you take interest in what they do. He will appreciate it. You will start to see a change in him. Gotta go, but will continue.

  272. #272 by saggi girl on July 22, 2009 - 7:55 pm

    Hi Cloud9,

    thanks for your comment and i think i am learning everyday….

    looking forward to hearing from more good news from you…

  273. #273 by kk on July 27, 2009 - 2:38 pm

    hi everybody. how r u all. i ve been away from tyhis site for a while but just came back to say hi n ask u guys something of course about taurus man behaviour.
    has anybody experienced this with taurus men?:
    he asked me a month break to think. that happened after giving me mixed signals of commitment or take the relationship farword.does it happen when they have to decide this important decision , like if open up and take the next step. he sayd im not dumping u.

    well i never heard about that before.
    could u guys share any similar experience plz?
    thanx a lot n speak to u soon

  274. #274 by taurualovingvirgo on July 27, 2009 - 5:12 pm

    ladies ladies ladies! hello…i feel so @ home after reading all the posts…me and my taurus have been off and on for 9 years!!!!….where to start…hmm…ok me and my vousin were at a walmart shopping when we were about to leave she realized she had locked the keys in my stepdad’s truck and we had to call a locksmith…so we were waiting at the door and I see this guy who was soooo attractive everything that I say I want physically when I describe my “type” and he’s just standing outside of walmart with his friend and he keeps turning around staring (as i am behind him) (oh yeah did I mention I was 17 at the time and he was 22) so I’m sittin there pissed because we are locked out and my cousin decides we should go stand outside and wait and I told her ni because so dude is out there staring at me…it just felt weird when he looked at me..now when I look back it wasn’t creepy weird but just weird like he was looking straight into my soul…so as soon as I walk out he starts talking to me introduces himself etc etc I gave him a fake name…lol..he asked for my # and I gave it . I forgot all about himas I had a lot going on at the time..i had just finshed school in ohio and I was back home in illinois but I had to go back for my graduation(i graduated in jan. but had to wait for actual graduation until june) so anyway I hadn’t noticed he hadn’t call and really didn’t care cuz he was cute but it was just too much for me the way he looked me in my eyes….so a almost a month later I get a call and he keeps telling me his name and I’m trying to figure out who he is then we conversated for a little bit and he began calling pretty regular we dated for a bit he kept asking me though in the beginning when I was gonna be his girl and I jus looked at him like he was crazy because we hadn’t know eachother long..so anyways we dated about two months we were exchanging “im falling in love’s and I heard from his cousin he was looking for a ring that he later bought. he asked me to marry him and that he knew the day he saw

  275. #275 by taurualovingvirgo on July 27, 2009 - 5:26 pm

    me at walmart sitting there all upset in my little red sundress(maybe that’s what attracted him ha) that I was the one…so a couple months later when I turned 18 he was ready to get married but I was back and forth between il and ohio helping my sister with her baby and we went our separate ways… we’ve been off and on ever since…now I’m back in I’ll and he has a girlfriend I don’t like the fact that he refers to his relationship with her as a business arrangement as do a couple family member of his..so ok I moved back a year ago and we had been talkin about is he let me know he still has feelings for me and he doesn’t know how I feel but he always thought somehow we would be..he said he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings because she’s a good person and she’s done a lot for him and he CARES about her alot…sound familiar?? lol.. so I was like I understand o haven’t been here in 9 yrs actually living here so I woyld give it some time to see how we both actually feel…so a couple (3) months pass we are constantly fighting because me being a virgo I know what I want I expect u to know when I know and I want an answer now…idk why I even started it but we began arguing because I was rushing him and yes I know better but I couldn’t help it lol…so anyways he got into some trouble went away for 6months and when he left we weren’t on the best of terms bit we had said our apologies and I said I’d be there if he needed me. sooo during those 6 months I would drive up the highways to go and see him and we would write and he called everyday..he said he coulnt wait to get home and we would start to work on us…sounded as if he was ready to make his decision ( the other girl does a lot of things monetarily for him which I have never been asked or any other girl expected to do so but idk why he’s all about money with her) so she had paid for his lawyer and was sending him $ while he was gone …and when he got home he was supposed to work on us…he tells me all the time he loves me and its different than with anyone

  276. #276 by taurualovingvirgo on July 27, 2009 - 5:38 pm

    (sorry on my cellphones web) else he’s been with before or after me…i feel like after me breaking his heart by not coming back when he was ready to get married and a failed marriage after that he’s kinda soured on love…he tries to come this way but I think he’s not too trusting of me he always tells me I’m playing with him but I’m not….so I think he really doesn’t put his heart out for people any more he’s very suspicious if everyone…but this girl is always giving him money…she just opened up and detail shop for him and he and his brothers work there….no one in his family….(his cousin is my friend) has ever heard him say he loves her but he tells them he loves me but he is mad becaise he found out I tried to move on while he was gone…i started to get nervous things weren’t going to work out as he said when he came home and I started dating..somehow it got back to him and possessive taurus….he thinks me dating is like a bigger crime than murder!! lol..so he gives his cousin this big long teary eyed talk about how I did him so wrong by dating but remember he still has this chick he’s hanging onto for the check and he’s standing here ranting and raving to his cousin about how I was so wrong and damn near crying!! so we’ve talked but then he gets sooo close and I think as soon as he starts to feel something he throws the situation with me dating someone in my face YET he doesn’t want to talk about it he just say u know what I’m talkin about and leaves it at that… so we’ve been playing hot and cold…he texts and calls then he stops so I don’t call or text..then after close to a month I drove past his shop and he’s standing out there flagging me down screaming hey… I pull over we talk (about a whole buncha nothing) and he calls me for two or three days after and then he brings up the situation and stops…we are not sexual he won’t even let me get too close cuz I think that’ll open the floodgates…its exhausting so today I’m done but tomorrow if he calls I won’t be…i kinda feel sorry for her

  277. #277 by taurualovingvirgo on July 27, 2009 - 5:47 pm

    because he’s milkin her for every penny he can get but he’s never been like that with any other women he dated since I have known him..he likes to take care of women financially….idk its weird….we’ve been playing hot and cold for a couple months and I wanna slap him silly but I know he’ll be back…i kinda feel like he’s using her until her kids father comes back then he’ll walk away because he really doesn’t care and he’s trying to keep me on hold for when he decides he’s ready…but I’m not waiting…i date I just don’t let him find out….but I feel like as soon as he calls my name I go running…9 years is along time….it was never this way until I moved back! I’m trying to let go (today lol) but his cousin is always like just wait it out she sees a breakthrough coming soon..i try to watch both of our daily horoscopes….i don’t know why when I don’t call him or text he can’t jus let go and move on…he jus has to say something…lately he’ll see my car at a store and come in being loud so I hear him…hels so not a loud person. then when I speak he smiles soooo hard but I can telll when he talks he’s tring to play it cool…why??? I feel like we’re beyond that and I’m ready when he’s done with the games but he doesn’t believe me..he told me I’m playing games because I’m not sitting here lonely and waiting…….lol he’s a fuckin nut!

  278. #278 by taurualovingvirgo on July 27, 2009 - 5:58 pm

    I love him to death and me aand everyone else can tell he loves me but he soooo acts like I’m the bad guy for trying to move on but what can I say it gets tiresome waiting for those slow bullturtles to make a decision or take a step…he was soo ready when he was 22 now he’s 31 and he’s sooo far from it….i don’t feel like waiting for him to work through all his midlife crisis craziness but yet I wait and I answer and I go run to him when he calls….love him with all my heart……….he sucks lol!

  279. #279 by Jess on July 29, 2009 - 12:38 pm

    Hi Ladies,

    How is everyone doing? Just drop by to say hi, I havnt been doing so well, so much conflict going on with work and family caused my nerve so strain… The past week my head feels like blowing up!

    KK, I cant say for such act as I never experienced it. I thought Taurus will only take an action after a long deliberating time but act it then out again… I really have no clue, sorry. How long you been with him? you might want to give him that space he needs if you have already gone thru a certain time having ‘relationship’ with him. Good luck to you anyway!

    Hope everyone still there safe and sound! LOL, take care ladies.

  280. #280 by saggi girl on July 29, 2009 - 1:35 pm

    HI Jess,

    nice to see you here and hope you are getting better. take care of yourself…..

  281. #281 by foxygrl on July 30, 2009 - 2:11 am

    Hey guys! OMG i feel all your pain! ive been dating this Taurus guy since may. i wish i saw this site from the day i started. Its was the same thing in the beginning (He was crazy for me) he would chase after me and do sweet things. Ive met his family and friends and we all got a long. i got very close with his mother as well. But since things started getting serious, he ignored me! i would always have to call him. then all of a sudden. NOTHING! he disappeared and never called.

    The first time he ignored me, he called on the 5th day and said he was sorry and was busy and blah blah blah… he sweet talked his way out and i gave him another chance. I wish ive never falled for that crap! cause guess what?!? hes not talking to me AGAIN!

    he invited me to a party and when i showed up. he IGNORED me COMPLETELY! his friends and family was giving me more attention and asking “where have you been? we missed you!” and his own friends were hitting on me saying “you look great?!? you wanna dance? everything okay with you 2?”

    I was so annoyed that I left the party, said bye to all his friends and family. when I went outside he was talking to a girl! and I left without saying bye. I was so pissed! this is day 3 and i have not received any calls from him.

    If he ever calls im gonna be a Lady and tell him how hurt I was showing up to the party that HE invited me to. and say…

    “I have no time playing mind games. if you dont want what i can offer you, (kindness, loyalty and friendship) then go find another Girl, you know where to find me.”

    Im not gonna tell him off. i just want him to be shocked, cause EVERY girl wants him. and im not gonna cry or fight for him. if were meant to be, then he can chase me.

    to all you powerful woman out there, dont let these men walk over you!

  282. #282 by foxygrl on July 30, 2009 - 2:15 am

    Oh yah, i forgot to mention. that i think hes a commitment phobe cause his exes broke his heart “BOOOWHOOO!” i was there for him and he felt so sad about all his pain and blah blah blah! we both broke up with our exes and started dating each other. we NEVER EVER fought. thats y i dont know y he would ignore me! Everything was good untill we got closer. hes just a coward! im sorry girls, but im just impatient. i cant just sit around waiting for my phone to ring.

  283. #283 by scorpio gal on July 30, 2009 - 3:08 am

    Hi everyone! I stumbled upon this site when just looking for tips for a situation. Let me explain…
    I dated a Taurus guy for all 4 years in high school. It was on again/off again, mostly due to immaturity on both of our parts. After high school, we went our separate ways. That was 28 years ago, believe it or not. Strangely, the Taurus guy is the one that I’ve always compared all of the guys I’ve dated. BTW – I’m still single…
    Anyway, the Taurus guy found me on Facebook and we started communicating through email. He asked for my # and we have now started chatting on the phone. Unfortunately, we live 11 hours apart. Things are great when we are talking and emailing. He is not overly chatty in his emails and texts, though some of them surprised me. From past experience with him, I know that he is not that chatty anyway.
    He told me that he is in the process of going through a divorce, because his wife of 20 years cheated on him, and he does not tolerate cheating. As a Scorpio, I totally understand! Well, the other night, he asked me to meet him halfway and go camping for several days. He promised no pressure, though in HS we had some SERIOUS chemistry so it will be interesting to see how that part works out. After thinking about it (over night) I decided to say yes. He sent a detailed itinerary – it looks awesome.
    At this point, I’m very excited about it, but nervous. So, I started looking for some tips on dealing with this situation. Any ideas and guidance are greatly appreciated.
    Thanks!

  284. #284 by saggi girl on July 30, 2009 - 3:46 pm

    hi scorpio gal,

    if i were you, i would just go and have a great time together. but you also need to be careful and just go to have a look as your romance was from long time ago, he might change to a different person, or you might not be the one in his old memory. well, at this point, i would just relax and have a great time, and catch up the old times…..treat it like a reunion event… nothing more and see how far you want to go or how far you can go. as you might not like him anymore or vice versa…

    good luck

  285. #285 by scorpio gal on July 30, 2009 - 4:50 pm

    Saggi girl,

    That is the way I am looking at it. I just don’t want to mess things up if there happen to be any “sparks” still. He is genuinely a nice guy. So far doesn’t seem like any of the “bi-polar” guys that have been discussed on this forum. Maybe since he’s in his 40s, he has learned to control some of his ways. Who knows. I’m looking forward to the trip just to rekindle our friendship – he was my best friend as well in HS and I have missed that relationship.
    Thanks for the thoughts!
    S

  286. #286 by saggi girl on July 30, 2009 - 6:19 pm

    good luck and have fun….

  287. #287 by SweetinChic on July 30, 2009 - 8:22 pm

    Hello everyone!

    This is by far the best site I’ve found on how to deal with dating a Taurus man. Thank you for all of the great posts.

    Now a lil about me…I’m a Cancer and I’ve been friends/dating a Taurus for about a year now. I was going through a divorce and he was a good friend to be there. So naturally I fell head over heels for this person and it’s been a rollercoaster at best.

    We’ve had our share of outbursts but somehow we always managed to find our way back. So just recently we started hanging out again and he know’s that i date other men etc. and he’s even given me advise on some of them. Now b/c we’ve been hanging out again my feelings have come back even stronger. Even as I dated others it’s always been him that i adored. If I knew he wanted to be an item I would stop seeing them all at the drop of a hat.

    This time around I’m trying to learn to be patient and just be there for him but as you all know when they stop talking or as i say retreat within themselves, it drives me nuts but …. at least i have other distractions this go round to help.

    So my question is since he knows i see other men is that hurting or helping the relationship? I don’t want to pressure him but at the same time i want to know that he’s my number one.

    thanks in advance =)

  288. #288 by SweetinChic on July 30, 2009 - 8:25 pm

    *Correction to prior post – i want him to know that he’s my number one*

    =)

  289. #289 by Jess on July 31, 2009 - 11:47 am

    Foxygrl,

    Its strange and rude that he ignored you at the party consider he is the one who invited you!!! I doubt if he did that on purpose (to test or observe you) or he is just being as ass… Anyway you seem to have your situation under control, hope to hear how he would make an excuse for this one!

    Scorpio gal,

    Just a small trick: show up on your best cloths! and dont forget to always smell nice!!! (yeah I know its camping! but do look and smell nice! its a must! LOL). Oh I would guess its going to be an intense and romantic trip, so try not to get carried away by the moment and tell your emotion unless HE DID FIRST! The rest is just be yourself and enjoy! All the best and keep us posted!

    SweetinChic,

    From my experience I would say knowing you are dating other men is definitely not helping the relationship between you and your Taurus.

    I recall a time having the first Taurus, a young one who was always appear as immature and shot tempered chasing me, he knew i was having problem with my ex that i couldnt move on and that a few guys were after me too. That made him jealous and work harder and once i open up more to him but I kept telling him I tried to give it a chance but i cant commit anything with him than just keep on dating, I was honest and he accepted that and will wait until i can decide if i want ‘relationship’ with him. But he also told me if i was out dating other guys then its over, he admited that he was too jealous to handle that and it was disrespect for him.

    I’m not sure he likes to know that he is number 1 for you. I mean Taurus guys I know, they only want to be ‘THE ONLY ONE’ not number 1 out of many numbers out there…

    Take care all you bull fighting ladies!

  290. #290 by SweetinChic on July 31, 2009 - 3:15 pm

    Jess –

    Thanks for your response. The reason why its so confusing is that he doesn’t come off like we’re exclusive and that i’m his girlfriend. To me I just assume that we are friends who on occassion engage in the best passionate love-making this side of the Mississippi!

    I desperately want to ask him what he wants but when i did that in the past it was “we’re casually dating” so i took it for what it was and kept it moving.

    I’m just torn on if I should let him know completely how I feel about wanting to be with him without putting myself all out there to only later find out that he is seeing other people as well.

    Sigh ….and on top of all of that of course he has gone MIA again. We hung out for two consecutive weekends so i’ll probably won’t hear from him for about 2 months!

    It’s a LOVE / HATE relationship at best! But the challenge of getting him drives me wild! Lol

  291. #291 by saggi girl on July 31, 2009 - 3:19 pm

    I am really mad at him, really mad, what he is doing? is he insane? playing game? sorry to vent here, but i have to, otherwise, i will text him likeโ€ you are piece of shit.โ€

    Last sunday when we saw each other, everything is ok, actually he is kind of sweet. He also told me that this week is very important as he needs to make a decision if he needs to keep this job or not, as this job does not pay him to survive( his boss changed the pay structure), so today will be deadline to decide and he also wanted to talk to his boss about it, that is what we left over the sunday. i also told him to check his car as his car got a problem, but he needs to see his mom soon, as his mom probably wonโ€™t make itโ€ฆ so when he left, he told me that he would call later and keep me posted. but it has been 5 days, today is friday, i texted him last night to check up on him, he did not reply, so this morning, i text him again to see if his job worked out. he replied an hour later, likeโ€ i will let you know at the end of the day, and have a nice day yourself.โ€ that is it, WTF, is he seeing someone else? or i went too far? is he playing a game? why he is so calm, it seems he does not care that i careโ€ฆโ€ฆmy coworker told me that he might be seeing someone else…

  292. #292 by saggi girl on July 31, 2009 - 3:35 pm

    SweetinChic,

    do not ask as it will not work. He won’t tell you that you are exclusive even though you are threating to leave. mine has been dating over a year and half, we are still not exclusive…..

  293. #293 by scorpio gal on July 31, 2009 - 4:00 pm

    Jess,

    Thanks for your response. I am so looking forward to this trip. I know, that if nothing else, it will definitely be fun. I’m still trying to decide what to take/wear, etc. ๐Ÿ™‚ But definitely agree about looking and smelling good.
    Interestingly, we chatted online for more than an hour last night. He’s sometimes so chatty, then other times, not. It is funny to me that he feels the need to explain why he didn’t call or this or that. Maybe the more “mature” bull has learned some lessons. If so, those of you out there with young ones, just wait! =o)
    I’ll be sure to keep ya’ll updated on what happens and any insights I gain into the complicated Taurus mind.

  294. #294 by Jess on July 31, 2009 - 4:31 pm

    HI SweetinChic,

    What is MIA?

    Yes, you would put your heart at risk telling him how you feel, what you really wants with him but its the only way and the only truth. If he is a real Taurean he will appreciate your honest even he doesnt feel the same. I know how you are afraid of losing his touch but the truth is you are not going anywhere than a ‘casual dating friend’ if you keep doing this with him. Are you really ok with the 2 weeks on/ 2 months off? Taurus read things as what they see, misleading him to see you are fine with casual dating with him and out dating other men is not a good signal to send.

    My experience dating a Taurus guy for 8 months so far, we never talked about being exclusive. (actually we still NEVER talked on the phone!!!!!) Its so much frustration and irriation about his weird/mixed/bipolar/twisted personality. But I know he did those crazy things on purpose and he notice my reactions. I never asked him what we are doing together or how he feels about me and us, but i always be honest about how i feel and what i want to him. I never told him how i feel for him though, I had to wait until he did first and finally he gave up, after a few months he lose a patient and finally speak out some of his feelings for me then start doubting why i never talked about my feelings for him.

    I will tell him when thing he did bother me, if he cares he will do something about it (but dont expect so much that things will change for better, because it wont, just see that he care enough to TRY)

    One point in time you will have to finally decide what to do about him so that you can have a normal relationship with any guy at all. (without your feeling always clinging on to him)

    A broken heart hurts but traped in a lifetime fatal attraction is such a vain.

    PS: even he told me his feelings, send me love songs but he never literally said he loves me. Oh and his distant/twisted/bipolar actions are still the same… so may be i’m driving myself wild too! LOL.

  295. #295 by Jess on July 31, 2009 - 4:46 pm

    Saggi girl,

    Please calm down.

    He is about to lose his job and his mother…. its a real big stress. Really I never experienced any of my love ones dying away. Really i cant think how crazy i could go.

    About a question wheter he is seeing another girl or not, if the losing job and dying mother is not a lie… I cant foresee myself having a mind or a heart for another girl at this moment. First you need to calm down and be at your own peace so you are able to spot on it if things start to smell fishy like bullshit… patient saggirl, patient and peace!

    PS. LOL @ your ‘you are piece of shit’ text! Really its just what i secretly say it in mind many times. Saggi girl, go ahead and vent it out here! lol.

  296. #296 by Jess on July 31, 2009 - 4:54 pm

    Scorpio gal,

    Yes, please do update! ๐Ÿ™‚

    I cant think of time that my T. is not talkative… he is more than talkative, completely shut me up…

    If we have to wait for the ‘young’ bull to be more ‘mature’ ones to learn their lessons…. Scorpio gal, now you just shut me up!!! Are we talking about this life? LOL.

  297. #297 by saggi girl on July 31, 2009 - 5:18 pm

    Jess,

    God, I miss you…

    i know i need to calm down but sometimes it is just hard. The thing i do not understand is why they do not call as they said that they will be…it bothers me a lot… as it is against my nature–honesty and do as i promised…even the tiny things in life…

    actually, it is kind of interesting how he did it on last sunday, i went to the restaurant earlier waiting for him, actaully he is always not certain about his arrival time, it is always a range. then he called me and told me that he is gonna be a little late, then i was sitting quietly reading my book waiting, then he came in and walk directly to me and kissed on my lip like a normal couple do, and then sit down to his side. he kind of suprised me, as he never did this before in the restaurant, sometimes, i do it. but he normally just came in and sit down and smilie at me… it is kind of wierd. did i just over react it? did your guy do that to you???

    sorry, drama, drama..

  298. #298 by Jess on July 31, 2009 - 5:46 pm

    Saggi girl,

    Atleast yours call!!!! Mine NEVER did… you know what is funny, he was talking the sweestest shit last night how he wanted to move to stay closer to me so we can meet more often like 3 times a day (morning before i go to office, lunch, and dinner before i have to go home) as he wants to feel we are staying together. So he keeps asking to meet today so we can check out apartment together. I have been so busy and stressed out that my nerves strain and hurts so i told him i need to see again but as i wanted to see him too so i text him i can meet for dinner after work. But guess what…. the bull was still sleeping!!!! and replied my text when we woke up at 8 pm!!! WTF! i was already home (to pretend all cool and writing the best reply to you girls as a way to distract my emotion from the shit LOL)

    Yeah I also do not understand why they do not do/call what and when they promise for, even they are the one who suggest it!!??!! So I just decide to not trying to understand anymore… they are out of any logic!

    Haha Saggi girl, your Taurus is so cute what he did. That must have carried you away! ๐Ÿ˜‰ I think the fact that yours did that once in a while makes it cute and special. What mine normally do? he would either go hide behind the electricity post or some poster so we can play a little hide and seek…

    Dont push him now Saggi girl, it must be very important and hard time for him and perhaps he need to be left alone to make own decision. Well, a bull got to do what a bull got to do! hahaha (Yep i wonder also what is it that a bull got to do!…. (shit?) LOL!)

  299. #299 by saggi girl on July 31, 2009 - 5:58 pm

    Jess,

    oh, my god, it is so similar.mine did that too, like a baby. sometimes, he will hide in the hall way trying to scare me, if i do not jump, he will ask why i did not jump. they are just funny. do you know what i found in his car last sunday, a stick candy, you know the one the kid was always licking on with the beautiful wrapper, the round shap, it is strawberry flavor, when i found it, he was asking me if i want it, it is very tasty, when you licked down to the end, it has a little strawberry in it, i said no. but he is just funny sometimes, he is 41 already, can you believe it?

    so, we got off the car walking to my friend’s apartment, which is where i am staying now, so i draged his t-shirt, he was like” you fixed me up to see your friend, how is my hair?” sometimes, i know i got a little carried away… yours sounds good too, so he is trying to move close to you, isn’t that a good sign???

  300. #300 by Jess on July 31, 2009 - 6:03 pm

    SweetinChic,

    Something came across my mind and i just had to come back writing you this message.

    In case you decide to tell him what you want and your feeling, just dont say you LOVE him. Taurus is very objective and skeptic, for them LOVE takes time. They will find it hard to be true when someone declare the love to them too easy and too soon (yeah we think 1 year is too long but for them 1 year could be too soon… WTF! lol)

    Sorry if i sound too fussy, but hope all the best for you!

  301. #301 by saggi girl on July 31, 2009 - 6:15 pm

    Jess,

    I read your post one more time, so your taurus did not make it the meeting he asked for in the first place? when will they grow up eventually? first of all, i thought it is the problem of all men regardless of the sign, but right now, i found out it is something about his sign. i saw a lot of posting in diffrent site about how confused they are, everyone was complaining about their disppearing act, so IT IS something about their sign… it is kind of scary, isn’t it? how come we did not hear any successful story here, probably, they won’t come to this site if they are successful, right?

    but sometimes they are just so cute to make you stay..

  302. #302 by Jess on July 31, 2009 - 6:21 pm

    hehe saggi girl, yes I can relate so much your guy being childish and funny with mine. Mine like to scare me when i was trying to park a car in a small space… he just scream with a very a sharp noice to scare me hoping i hit the speed than the brake… crazy!

    Yes its a good sign, if he can actually make it in THIS LIFE!…lol.

    Cheer up everyone!

  303. #303 by Jess on July 31, 2009 - 6:45 pm

    Saggi girl,

    I’m sure there are many successful stories out there and I wish for us all to be one of them! I agree with you that those with a happy ending wouldnt be looking for answer here and there.

    Dont get too scared saggi girl, Just go by the truth and stick to the ground. Something i notice about Taurus from mine, he really did take long time to do things but he will eventually do it. Many people only talk but no action, but when Taurus talk about something they want or plan to do, even they leave it for too long time that people think he just do the good talk, actually they are keeping the plan in mind, gathering information, compare, and the rest of the bull shit process (which we could never understand…) to finally do it when everything is ready.

    I know mine will suggest a meeting to check out apartment again again soon… i admit i was a bit sensitive but dont want to get upset when i know he will come back for a return match. (so i get on here discuss with you girls instead! :-D)

  304. #304 by SweetinChic on July 31, 2009 - 7:30 pm

    Jess –

    MIA is missing in action. lol I just feel that we stretch the length of time that we see each other. I’m so hesitant to say anything b/c so far it seems that he is really getting comfortable with us seeing each other regularly and my gut/intution is tellin me that this episode from this week is a test to see if i can deal with him being a lil distant. Sorta to see if i’ll explode on him like i have in the past.

    I have a sure fire sign that he’ll call today or tomorrow to see what’s up ….however what i was considering to do is NOT answer or respond but that’s risky too. =/

    Oh I’ll never tell him I love him until he says it to me lol

    Saggi –

    lol its so very true b/c the words exclusive is soooooo far out of reach in there minds.

    Overall i guess the main thing is how do I approach this situation to flip it in my favor??

  305. #305 by SweetinChic on July 31, 2009 - 7:32 pm

    Ohhhhh and this is also something on my mind …. we always talk about him getting ready to buy a home …he brings it up on nearly every time we are together.

  306. #306 by saggi girl on July 31, 2009 - 7:46 pm

    hi Jess,

    it is smart to discuss with us instead of blowing off. but i just realized that taurus has a new name from now on , their names are Satan… as they make people suffer…

  307. #307 by taurusgirl on July 31, 2009 - 8:25 pm

    I am a Taurus, I have been on this site before but I will give my story and your guys can tell me what you think.

    I have been dating my Taurus guy for 1year in some months, he told me that he did not want a committed relationship, I was fine with that because I am a full time mom, student and employee, so that was cool. We would hook up once in a while, and it got to the point were he was using me only for SEX, he would call all the time and when I would ask about going out he would sayโ€ it feels like I am in a relationship if we didโ€ so I decided to not pressure him, and only hang out with him when I felt the need to.

    Months went by, we went through all the holidays together and he discussed his financial situation with me, family, just opened up about a lot of things, so one day I asked him if he has been intimate with anyone other than me? He paused than said Yes. So I was pissed, I told him that I would not have stayed around for so long if I thought that you were seeing other people, I mean I went complete off on him. I told him that if he ever sees me any were for him not to say a word to me; I changed my phone number, so that he canโ€™t call me. I have seen him out after the incident happened but I did not speak.

    He played games with me for 1 year, knowing that I would not have stayed if I knew that he was seeing other women, I am a Taurus, I have to be the ONLY ONE! So my question

    Will he care that I have changed my number and have moved on? I only want to know because he hurt me, I can only wonder if he is feeling bad..

  308. #308 by SweetinChic on July 31, 2009 - 8:46 pm

    Taurusgirl –

    I can tell you still care about him b/c otherwise you wouldn’t be concern if he is upset or not. When you went into the relationship were you really fine with it being “open”? Because at some point you have to be honest with yourself and know that he may or may not have intimate relationships outside of the both of you.

    I would ask myself the question – do you want to be with him even after that or have you been able to really move on?? Because if I don’t know one thing about Taurus men is that they stamp something on our souls that just draws us back yearning for more.

    Think about what it is you really want from it and him too …. Good luck miss!

  309. #309 by saggi girl on July 31, 2009 - 9:03 pm

    hi Taurus girl,

    i do not know if he cares or not, but it seems to me that he is not the one you could trust. which is the foundation in the any relationship… and also i do not know how you guys comunicate in the first place even though you are not in a commited relationship… as mine, we are not in a comitted relationship yet, but we discussed a few times, he was telling me to tell him if at some point i want to see someone else, he will do the same… i trust him that he did not see anyone else so far. the girl he was seeing before, he dropped her after he knows me, he was not dating 2 at the same time. i do not think it will work if he sees someone else at the same time he was seeing you. but it really depends on how you communicate, if you never discuss about it, then it was not his fault to see someone else, but if you did and told him that he is not allowed to see anyone else while seeing you, then he is just a jerk. I told mine that if he sees someone else, we are over, and he said” i know.”

    taurus girl, i am sorry to hear that….

  310. #310 by saggi girl on July 31, 2009 - 9:12 pm

    i think i should change myself after i read the note, we are not in a commited relationship even though we do not see anyone else, but i think i treated him like he is the only one while he is not ready to be the only one.

    i think i should stop taking his problem as my own problem as he is not either my boyfriend or my husband, it is not my reponsibility to do it, i should treat him casually too. as in general, we are just casually dating, I should treat him causually..like really is.

    i think causually means just less 50% of the time focus on him but i did 100%. which makes me suffer.I guess they do it less 50% too… that is why we are suffering….. i know it is hard, but i will try…

  311. #311 by lionsroar on July 31, 2009 - 10:37 pm

    Hey ladies..Lionsroar here… It’s been ages I know and my life resembles the ‘crazy train’.. All aboard!! LOL….

    I have the evening off and a bottle of wine and plan on reading the zillion posts I have missed tonight.. Just wanted to give ya’all (is that a real word?) an update… Yepperz…I still have the Bull in my life.. Crazy Train!! haha… Since months ago I kept it to once a week… yep he still doesnt really understand the concept of ‘talking’ on a phone.. he still texts and IM’s.hahah anyway we were basically on a Saturday eve. Schedule Once a Week, a few times we saw each other twice… Well being the gal I am, I continued on my life.
    I do have allot of friends, male and female… so here’s where it gets funny..

    We have some mutual friends, he did not want to tell anyone we were ‘casually dating” Yah that was his words, so it made it difficult when we were at the same place, so I did what I do best, had a good time and chatted lightly with him HA! I also have a male friend who was going through a hard time and was helping him out.. Which I did tell that bull headed SOB..HAHA,

    Anywho a few weeks ago he mentioned that we really dont see each other allot, in the beginning we saw each other more. WTF?? Like 3 times since Feb we saw each other twice in one week..haha.. Anyway I said No its cool, you have a life, I have a life we are busy people..I’m not dating anyone else are you? He said NO.. So I thought we were cool… anyway since then a few times out in front of people that do not know we date..so we were very casual in public and my needy guy friend..here we go; Can you hear the Whistle on the crazy train blowing??? He called last weekend and said he felt we should take a break, what do I think.. I said, “sure”..doesnt matter what I think if thats how you feel and said thanks for your honesty.. Last night I ran into him in ‘public in front of a mutual female friend’.. after she left.. he asked if I wanted to come over, I told him I though I was in a time out!! hahahaha.. he said well you always talk about that guy friend of yours and I thought we were on different pages, I explained I told you I was helping him because he is nothing but a friend and I was letting you know what was going on in my world, If I was dating him I wouldnt have told you. I also said if something bothers you you need to talk to me about it”.. His reply was “Well I’m not really good at that and it was pissing me off”…. then he gave me a kiss.. hahaha So I said Something tells me you are going to be calling timeouts allot with me, he laughed and said probably. Then he called me today and asked me if I wanted to get together this weekend.

    Man they are jealous arent they? He hasnt showed 1 pinch of it since Feb. and all of a sudden Wham, Bam.. like I said…. Trains coming…

    Best to all of you

  312. #312 by taurusgirl on August 1, 2009 - 2:18 am

    We dated before, I would say 15 years ago when I was 21 and he was 31, we had a good relationship, but what he was ready for I wasnโ€™t, I was straight with him and we had fun, but I left him alone back than because it was brought to my attention that he was fooling around on me, so I left him, here it is later in life I ran into him again and we started seeing each other, he explained to me that he was not ready for a relationship, but he would not see anyone other than me. and I brought that to his attention when he told me that he stepped out on me, but only after a friend of mine told me that she saw him at the supermarket with a women, I called his cell phone three times within 15min, he knew that someone saw because I donโ€™t call him like that, although I am a female Taurus the phone thing is correct, I donโ€™t call often unless I want to talk, so he knew that I found out, so he decided to text me and asked meโ€ whatโ€™s upโ€ I didnโ€™t respond, I went to sleep because I was upset.
    The next morning he started calling at 8am, I didnโ€™t answer, I waited for 30 min and called him back, and would you believe that he had the nerve to have an attitude with me when I called him back; he said you called me last night? I than asked him if he is seeing other people, or intimate other than me? So he knows that I would not stand for it.
    And he is crazy because he always put it in my faceโ€ oh I donโ€™t trust youโ€ you are cheating on me, and he then will change it around and act as if he forgot that he said that to me.
    I honestly believe that he has his own insecurity, when he drinks he has another person that comes out, so he starts with his jealousy, only when he is drinking, he constantly brought up my ex husband, and I thought it was strange, but didnโ€™t think much about it.
    But we have, well I thought we had chemistry together, he is just a damn jerk! I normally donโ€™t put my heart out there, but I have asked him about relationships before and he was in a three year relationship and the women left him without an explanation, and this was 4yrs ago, so when we started dating he wasnโ€™t seeing anyone, I would go to his house and stay there all day alone, while he was working, sleep over, all that.
    This guy is 46yrs old. He was nervous when I confronted him, we donโ€™t like to be confronted about anything, so when I started telling him how he disappointed me, he was silent, but then he started acting cocky likeโ€ I told you I didnโ€™t want a relationship and started blaming me for this whole thing.
    I still love him, and I know that it will eventually go away, I hope. But I also want him to feel bad about what happened because he led me on.

  313. #313 by taurusgirl on August 1, 2009 - 2:20 am

    and by the way, when i told him that he stated that he would only see me, he stated ” oh that was last year…

  314. #314 by taurusgirl on August 1, 2009 - 2:26 am

    sweetnchic,

    I have that same affect with men as well, but this guy did me in. I am going to move on, i would not have changed my numbers. but it is hard, Taurus really dont open up and once we do it is a scary when you find out something other than what you expected.

    I will be fine, this only happened three weeks ago, so its still new.. its like dating myself, so i didnt expect him to do that, cause we are faithful, he just didnt want a relationship. And i stuck around thinking that he would, only because he told me that he would not be intimate with anyone other than me.

  315. #315 by Jess on August 1, 2009 - 5:22 am

    Hi Lionsroar,

    Nice to hear from you again! Glad to see you are still on the train having even more fun! just dont disappear for too long and keep us posted, Enjoy! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Hi Taurusgirl,

    Thanks so much for sharing your story, you give a very good pictures of weak side being Taurus: dont like to be confronted about anything… especialy when they are the one who did wrong, they turn thing around throwing shit on the other…

    Its a bit strange though because as far as I know, sensual as Taurus, they are not only after sex without emotional attachment, i mean if they keep seeing the same girl for long time, its not only just for sex even they wouldnt seem to make long term plan or any commitment but they will take and keep ‘thing’ on day by day basis and work from there. (me think)

    Anyway, I really feel bad for your pain from being mistreated by this guy, but Taurus girl, I would say if he cant treat you RIGHT now, he probably doesnt have that respect for you to treat you differently in the future. First, the fact that he told you he is not seeing any others when he actually did it behind your back, shows that he is not trustwrothy, secondly it shows that he is not emotionally available. All in all, being a man at his age, he still cant get his life together to treat a woman right then I dont think he is going to make it in this lifetime.

    He obviously doesnt deserve any look or even a glance back from you. So dont worry if he would feel bad, I’m sure he would atleast feel bad to himself how he takes his own pride.

    Cheer up and move on!

  316. #316 by saggi girl on August 3, 2009 - 12:51 am

    HI, Jess

    i am back here after my taurus left like a few hours ago. remember i said that he did not call for 4 days, i text him on friday morning, he reply” will let me know at the end of the day.” remember that? so, i waiting until 9:50pm, he has not called yet, so i called him as i was really mad. but prepared to stay calm.. he did not answer, but called back a few minutes later, told me that he was still outside and really tired, on the way home. then asked how i was, i want to calm down but i guess nobody can hide who they are eventually, then i said” not good, why you did not call for so long. i know you are busy but why not make time to call, too busy to call?” he was like” you can call me too, you did not call either. i would love to hear from you even though i am busy..” then i was like” well, you are acting so strange, are you seeing someone else, if you do, let me know, you will no longer to hear from me, why i care so much about you, i think i need to change myself not to care about you this much, it seems become a burden to you.” then he was like” baby, you went too far, i did not see anyone, i missed you, even though i did not call, i have been thinking about you, i guess i just got distracted too much, i am sorry, i will be more sensitive, i am sorry.” then i was like” you do not miss me, as if you do, you should have called.” then he was like” cut it out, i said that i was sorry, ok?” i was like” i do not want that happen again, if so, you will no longer to hear from me/” then he was like” stop it, i said that i was sorry, you talked too much, i was on the street right now, people are looking at me, i will call you tomorrow, we will talk more, ok? do not worry, then he gave me kisses good night, then asked if i felt better, i said ok, talk to you tomorrow. then 20 minutes later after he hung up the phone, i was still mad, then i text him a message like” i am still mad at you. i am a very considerate person but it does not mean people could take advantage of that as i have my own rule and limit. so do not push it, just respect that, otherwise, there is no foundation to build anything. especially when people do not deliver what they promised, it bother me a great deal. period.” then next day saturday, he called me as he promised on friday night, left me a voicemail” it is me, i just want to call you to talk more like i said last night, hope you are not upset anymore, forgive me, i will learn from it, we will learn from it, that is it, let it go. called me back, it i do not pick it up cause i was busy, i will call you today, tonight or evening, i will try to call you again, and i do want to see you tomorrow….” then i called him back and did not mention it.. i saw him today and had a lunch together, but like i said that he was kind of broke with his job and probably hang in there for now as this job got so much potential. so i paid 1/3 of the bill, he paid 2/3 of the bill, well, what else i can say, he is broke….

    Jess, we stopped having sex for a few months, so whenever he came, he just lay on the bed and hold me to sleep after meal, it is kind of boring. when i asked him if we will do it, he was like” we will do it, but not right now,.” then i confronted him if he was still attactive to me, he said yes, but how come? we just spent a few hours together, then he left for studying, then i kind of felt bad, called him later, he was in the coffee shop studying, then i said that i was worried as he is no longer that affectionate like before, he kissed me less, he was like” we will have more time together later when his job was getting stable, means started to make money, probaby we will go to see a movie or something, then i was like” no, even when we spent time, you are just not that affectionate anymore, was your heart changed? he was like” no, i think it is just the time of pressue, you worried too much, just enjoy the afternoon, it is beautiful.” Jess, i do not know if i got a problem or not, he also told me that it is very hard to enjoy the time with me as i was always too serious…. kind of hard to relax…

    do you think i have a problem? i just want the assurance, but i know i am not getting it. like today when we had a lunch, i said that my friend he visited the other day want me to start looking another guy, then he was like” do you really want to?’ i said” no, do you want me to?” he was like” no.” then i asked him if he wanted to, he was like” i answered like millions of times already, i did not see anyone else, and also do not want to.: i do not want to talk about it anymore, why we can not relax for at least for a few hours… if you do want to see someone else, please let me know…

    Jess, why he can not say” you are mine, you are not allowed to.? i know it is kind of stupid for expecting that, but it seems that i just can not relax cause i am afraid that i am going to be played by him, what if he chose someone else at the end, what if he is playing with me, what if he is just stringing me along while looking for someone else… too much what if occupied my head…… i am just crazy…

    hope you are doing well…i know you are mature enough not to be crazy like this..

  317. #317 by Jess on August 3, 2009 - 5:13 am

    Saggi girl,

    Astrologically speaking, Taurus is extremely concerned with own stability. Now your Taurus’s security and comfort zone is shaken big time. He will drop everything (including sentimental and sex) to stubbornly determine on working to bring back his secure state. (atleast to be able to pay for the whole meal whenever he goes out with his girl… consider this guy at his age, this must feels bad for him…)

    Besides Astro, its about TIMING which I think is quite important. You guys are at different timing with diffrent issue. Your man is having a difficult time keeping his job, money is tight, and family. He needs time and endurance and moral support to go thru this to carry on his life. At this timing I dont think he is so capable at supporting you emotionally. He is not in his timing to talk about relationship or commitment when he cant take care of you as he should be.

    And you saggi girl, are having an issue with commitment and assurance. As you need it to carry on with him so that you guys can start a normal relationship like others. But again and again, you keep getting frustrated by what it seems to be ignoring and unstable and unfulfilled promises from him. Despite of your attempt to understand to ignore his fault, he keeps failing you. You get tired and your confident is shaken.

    Saggi girl, can you follow? did you see the picture?

    You know him better, so ask yourself even what seems to be careless and ignorance, but is his word trustworthy? if he is a liar? If he told you he doesnt see other girls than you, would you believe that?

    Saggi girl, I would say yes, you have problem and its for you not him to fix it. You need that assurance for love and commitment “TO BE SPOKEN” (that you are mine, that you are not allowed to see others and that i love you, etc.). But should you not look at how they are taken in his action? (even still not good enough) how he is still there with you (while he should be the disappearing Taurus? remember?) the callings, the texts, the apology, etc.

    Saggi girl, so pity too many couples wont make it because of the bad timing where they are having different priority so struggle for the different things. After fight and fight till they cant take it anymore and parted seperate way. But there are some who hang in there and make it thru.

    Saggi girl, as a woman I also need to hear the ‘love’ words from my guy from time to time. But I will tell you something and its also what I do and hold, people at my age we wont say what you want to hear. But when we say those love expressing words becaus we feel it even its that time you dont want to hear. They are not spoken to please you but to express when we really feel.

    As much as I always tell you to be patient and hang on to him, because he sounds to me as a nice guy who is genuine in his expression. But you need to see and decide if its too much for you to bear. He might not be right for you if he cant make you happy.

    When you are not happy with something inside that keeps bother you, you can share it with him (but in very feminine way…lol) but at the end its you who can fix it for yourself.

    Dont overthink or worry too much. Get some sleep, eat some sweet and feel better!

  318. #318 by saggi girl on August 4, 2009 - 1:15 pm

    HI, Jess

    i wanted to reply to you but the internet had been down whole day yesterday. i was always wondering where you live but right now i know the answer, you live inside of me as you know me better than i am and nail the issue just right on….thank you for your understanding and interlligence for thinking of my issue… thanks like a million

    i think what you said is right, i better stop forcing anything he is not ready for, as when i look at the bigger picture you laid out, i can see he IS NOT ready as he can not even take care of himself always wondering if he can pay his next month rent with this job condition, so i think i have 2 options: 1—get out of this hanging-on relationship, forget about him, leave both of us in peace; 2—stay around, support him whenever he needs me, and work through the problem…., work on myself and stop forcing anything he is not ready for, there is always a risk there, right?

    I will think about it, i think he does care about me as much as i can see, and i should trust him that he was not seeing anyone else….stay calm,enjoy what we have….

    do you agree? smart Jess…

  319. #319 by saggi girl on August 4, 2009 - 1:26 pm

    Jess,

    i saw on the other site, a girl just experience another taurus guy, who actualy a con artist that she met on Craiglist, he lied that he went to london to take a new job making 250K per year after 8 months dating, in 7 weeks, he only called once, and emailed twice, he talked about the marriage with her before he left for london, but when she tried to reach him by calling london the company he said that he was working for, she couldn’t reach him, so she emailed him afterwards to complain that she tried to reach him in London by calling the company, he broke up with her through the email… she has been very sad and always on that site to share how he broke her heart, and believe he will return. but it turns out that he never worked in London, and is not he said who he is at all except the birth date and name, he has multiple social security number, and she called PI to investigate the whole thing, It is kind of scary right??????

    how she found out is by typing his last name on Facebook, and his ex wife pop out, he has been leaving message on her wall and told her where he has been every day….. can you believe that? the one who said to get marry with you, and then all of the sudden, you do not even know who he is, I think if she did not tell him that she called london, he might still hang in the game…. the funny part is that this con has the same first name, so i asked her to email me his picture, it turns out not the one i am seeing….. hehehe… everyone, be careful of the people around, if you feel something fishy, let me know, i will email you the picture before we went to far…..

    Scary, scary, i think i need to be careful too… be rational, if i have been very emotional and that is where the fishy part was being ignored….

  320. #320 by cloud9 on August 4, 2009 - 3:09 pm

    hey everyone!!!

    you all have to remember who you are dealing with. the more you try and get the bull to do certain things, the more you are going to push him away!!

    they do things when they are good and ready. the sooner you get this the better it will be for you both. you have to learn how to coax them into doing what you want. its not that hard. taurus men love sweet, feminine women(you may have to tell them off every now and then).

    when a taurus man sees that you are dating more than one man, he is basically watching you to see if you may e the one for him. a taurus man could also be such a good friend that you may even swear its something other than what it is(a friendship).

    i think why my taurus man and i are still together is because he has matured. i could imagine what the others have gone through. when he is mad, there is nothing you can do. he has to run his course. then you can pull his coat tail later and let him know what he may have done wrong.

  321. #321 by Jess on August 5, 2009 - 7:30 am

    Hi saggi girl,

    I agree with you! I think you are very smart girl who is also very emotional…lol.

    You are so funny! how you suspect that con Taurus artist with yours because they have the same first name… hehe. Sorry i laugh but I know i would get scared too… Actually I have couple girls, who are seeing Taurus guys and experience similar problem to us, wrote to my email so we share story and advice to one another. But earlier I was skeptic if it was my Taurus guy in disguise catched me on this site and pretend to write to seek into my mind…

    See how these Taurus guys turn us into… scary scary LOL.

    Hi Cloud9,

    Glad that you keep checking back on us to remind who we are dealing with! You could be right about being ‘mature’ for them to act differently and I think they need to run into the right woman also for them if not completely to stop but slow down their bullshit acting, because they dont seem like to compromise or settle for less…

  322. #322 by saggi girl on August 5, 2009 - 1:22 pm

    HI Jess,

    hehehe… It is funny when you said ” see how these Taurus guys turn us into.”, i thought about the same thing…God must be laughing a lot everyday seeing us or ME creating too much drama…

    He decided to stay with his current job because it got so much potential, i called him last night, he just got off the work by 9:15pm and on the way to the training station, he told me his decision but asked if i support him on this one. i said “Yes.” but the thing is that if he wants to stay with this job, he has to bear the low pay for a short time, his boss told him that he is the top 3 in the firm but making big money takes time.. either he leave, giving up what he has been trying hard or stay and things will get better eventually. but how could he survive to pay the bill????? so he kind of hinted that he will try to avoid needing my help at all, but if things did not work out like he expected, he wants to know if i have his back( you know means financially), at least lend him to pay the rent for next month… i said yes. but do not know if i should do that or not…. i try to seperate this things from other stuff, but a little bit hard….i was thinking if he is a regular friend, i would help without any doubt or holding back, but when it comes to him, i feel a little bit wierd….

    what do you think? Jess

  323. #323 by foxygrl on August 6, 2009 - 8:32 am

    hey girls… just doing an update. remember my story about the party and stuff?!? well he didnt check up on me till 5 DAYS later!!!! ughhh what an asshole! he called me up n i didnt answer the first call. so he left me a message sounding really happy and saying hell try again later and blah blah blah! when he called again i answered and was prepared to tell him how i felt about the party! but he got to it first! he said he was DRUNK! and BLAH BLAH BLAH “me me me!” i didnt even get a chance to speak! then he told me hell call me back! and guess what ladies!?! its DAY 5 AGAIN! and i did not get any calls

    when i spoke with him he i told him i didnt like the way he ignored me and he said sorry “blah blah blah”

    being a PISCES im kinda getting over him. i just cant deal with this BULL crap!

    next time he calls me ill say
    “LISTEN, CAN I SAY SOMTHING?!?” i dont like the way im being treated. im not the type of girl who you call (just because you have nothing better to do) cause IM NOT”

    somthing like that… I just feel that he wont call me anymore. cause this is… day 5 and no calls.

    i just want him to call so i can get this BULL over with and move on.

  324. #324 by lionsroar on August 7, 2009 - 12:21 am

    Hey gals I got this email today and had to cut and paste..yah its about a divorce, but I thought about this site because you know it was written by a woman who loved unconditionally .. kinda sums it up when you give 200% and still dont get your fill…. Whoever wrote this I hope she is healed and happy… anyway one worth sharing to all women.

    How do I feel? How do I explain? The love we shared, Who is to blame?
    I thought I had a beautiful life, with him as my husband and me as his wife.
    Always together, we said we would be, in each others lives, till eternity.

    In front of God we said, “I do”, believing in each other, and a love that was true. It started out, just as it should be, me for him and him for me. I did what I could
    to keep our love strong. Now I ask myself, What the hell went wrong?.

    I didn’t see it coming, but he came to me, he said it was over, he wanted to be
    free. I felt so angry and sad inside. Tears filled my eyes and my heart just died.

    Now in court, I must see, the man I loved but did he ever love me? I still don’t know
    what went wrong, I’m starting all over for my child I must be strong. I know he must be feeling sad, He’s losing the man that he once called Dad.

    To me it’s a shame a judge will decide, who gets what, my hands are tied.

    Although this marriage, I could not save….The fucking he’s about to receive, is for the fucking he gave!!!!!

    Author Unknown

  325. #325 by Jess on August 7, 2009 - 6:05 am

    Hi ladies,

    @ Saggi girl, you might not like my opinion on this one. Personally I dont lend money to anyone but my ‘family’. Its my principle which I after some time will raise it up to explain only to people i regard as my inner circle. I cant say for you because I dont have knowledge for the whole background of yours and his situation. I will tell you this though, dont do thing you dont feel right and comfortable about. Its fine you have given your word to help him, he might just want to test your reaction toward this issue. We know Taurus like to test people.

    @ Foxygrl, I dont know but waiting for him to call so you can move on? do you think by the time he calls, your frustration will either pile up or fade away?

    @ Lionsroar, Thanks for the poem or whatever it is called, beautiful but kinda sad…

    Ok, a short update about my situation, we checked some apartments close to my work last week. Today he will come and try it for couple nights first to see how it works for us if it brings us closer together.

    Girls, I got this feeling that he does this to test to understand his craving feeling for me, if it is because we dont meet so often, or because this feeling is only just with me… (so if we can manage to meet often to his satisfaction, he might finally get bored just like other girls he dated before…)

    Anyone go thru this before? any suggestion or idea would be appreciated.

    Thanks and take care everybody.

  326. #326 by saggi girl on August 8, 2009 - 2:52 pm

    Hi, Jess

    i never went through this before but i think you are too afraid to accept the fact that he might want to get close to you because he feels that way. why not give it a try? i think at least he is willing to try…

  327. #327 by saggi girl on August 10, 2009 - 3:20 am

    hi Jess,

    i haven’t finished my last post to you but was interrupted by something, i finally got back to this site and wanted to finish what i want to say..

    i do not know how you got those feeling about your taurus for wanting to move close to you, you think that he might be testing to see what his feeling is, let’s say it is true, but at least he wants to know his feeling for you but not ingore whatever he has for you, i think at least he wants to figure out what is the next step with you, which means he was starting to take it serious and facing his own feeling. in another way, he likes to stay around you, isn’t that a good foudation for whatever built up later on… i think you are not brave enough and i knew you were hurt by your last relationship, but i believe that you are mature enough to handle and smart enough to figure things out, be brave to face your feeling and fact,but at the same time be cautious with the surrouding….i think you will be fine, i have faith in you…i think your taurus saw you value eventually… think it positive but not be reckless…i think that is what i am going to do if i were you..

    keep us posted, i’d like to hear your positive story…..always..

  328. #328 by Jess on August 10, 2009 - 1:16 pm

    Saggi girl,

    You really read me thru! Thanks so much for being honest what you really think. I appreciate how you really take time giving me this insight.

    The reason I know he wants to test his feeling is because he said it and I recall he said this couple times before how he wonder why he feels this way and if it is because we never meet enough for him to get bored like with the others.. (yes he actaully said it like that… what an ass!)

    Saggi girl, perhaps you are right, I may not have the courage or I dont want to find it to invest myself in this ‘relationship’. I feel as long as I have my feelings all on controlled I’m on the good side. Its all about figuring the other person out then try to outsmart his game.

    These Taurus guys are strange, i think he has this strong feeling for me because I dont play by his game. He always wants thing that he cant have but then lose interest once he already had it…

    I doubt what is going to be after he figures out his real feeling for me. If we spent more time and he starts to get bored, what kind of shit I’m going to be thrown at? if he is going to fade himself away or being honest and tell me right out? And what if he really feels for me, what he is capable of to convince me its real and what he has to offer…

    Something with Aries like myself, once we are in love, we are head over heel! (but turn out most of the time it’s rather head over hell…)

    In normal time, we are the best bullshit detector but love turn us into bullshit lover… hate it so much!

    Really I wish we had some Taurus males here to guide us.

    Thanks again Saggi girl and peace to all.

  329. #329 by saggi girl on August 10, 2009 - 7:42 pm

    hi Jess,

    since he said that, which means he is honest with you about what he wants to do next and why he wants to do it, so right now it is really depend on you, either gamble on it or shy away…but it really depends how you feel, either worth it or not at all. i do not know what you have for each other after dating for a while, do you feel that he is someone you can trust, or just someone that is fun to hang out with, because it really makes big difference when you make decision in regard to getting closer or stay still… if you are satisfied with whatever you had for each other, then you do not need to move forward, but if if if you are interested in taking something to the next level, there is always a risk. like all the marriage, nobody can guarantee the success of it, but people still go for it, got burned for the 1st time, became a little bit cautious, but still go for next one when it is the time, as you can not control the outcome, only God can do it. I will suggest you to go with your heart, be yourself…

    remember, there is always a risk(a risk to lose the job, a risk to lose the house you own, a risk to get hit on the road, a risk to get hurt by someone you love), but people still go for it. sometimes, we learned from the mistake we made and we will be careful of not making the same mistake twice, i think it is just our life experience, no win and no lose, it is just in your fate. the only thing we can to is to follow up heart but at the same time to protect ourselves from the hurt we experience before, but also sometimes, it is easier said than done, so what we need to do right now is to not reduce the chance to regret…regret not taking the job offer, regret not buying that house when the time is right, regret not brave enough to go forward with your heart feeling for someone you genuine love.. but i think in general at the end, there is only one question to ask yourself, will you regret and if that is worth it?

    i hope you can figure things out at the end without regret, and asked youself if you are willing to take the risk and if he is worth it for you to put the heart on the edge…be honest with yourself….

  330. #330 by Jess on August 12, 2009 - 1:47 am

    Hi Saggi girl,

    Thanks a lot! I got your point now that everything is about taking risk and we never know what it lies ahead in the future.

    Saggi girl, you sound as a caring and gentle person. Sometimes I wish I can be such a gentle kind like you…

    Now I kinda know what I’m going to do. Yes you are right I have to ask myself if I will regret it later but for the question if that is worth it… I will it to him to tell me. For me not to regret later, I’m not going to move anything forward with him now. I think 8 months is too soon to take anything seriously, besides we must never forget the beginning bullshit version ;-), i need to feel more genuine sign and see more effort. I cant get swept along by his out of sudden romance desire.

    All the best to everyone who is fighting or hanging on to love or whatever. And thank you so much for the support and advice to seek in here. It might sounds a bit silly but it does help and I truely feel we all giving our best advice and opinion to each other!

    Girls, keep it going!

  331. #331 by saggi girl on August 12, 2009 - 2:29 pm

    HI Jess,

    I am glad that i could be a little help to you….which makes people worth living…happy happy….

  332. #332 by cloud9 on August 13, 2009 - 12:02 am

    Hey all!

    I tell you, I am soooo in love with my taurus man! Its unbelievable. As I write this, I am waiting for him to negociate a deal. I offered to go elsewhere, but he wanted me to be there with him. Its such a great feeling that this once distance man loves being with me. He’s the most perfect man I ever been with. Our chemistry is impeccable!

    He tells me he loves me every now and again. I asked him if my frequent, petting and “I love yous” bother him. He told me that he didn’t need to. be told every day and that he could tell I love him from my actions.

    Ladies, I am here to tell you: don’t let his quietness or calm demeanor fool you. This is just the way tauruses are. He doesn’t talk much, but at times, we talk for hours!

    There were several occasions that he witnessed men trying to come on to me and like most men, he didn’t say anything for awhile, but then he brought it up. He loved the way I handled myself, so I guess he felt good to talk about it, rather than start yelling or blaming me.

    Study your taurus man

    Control your emotions

    And this man will love you!

    This man mentions marriage to me quite often and he knows I will say yes. I have a feeling he will do it in a unique way.

    These guys are highly intelligent guys and they don’t (and won’t) deal with small time things. Its all about the principle with them.

  333. #333 by jena ali on August 13, 2009 - 8:41 am

    Hi Jess!

    I must say you are a very smart lady that you figured out what is the main driving force for a taurus man in a love relationship i think SEX is the 101% driving force for sensual taurus guys.
    You are right 8 months time is too early to decide by the way Jess these guys are like this They want sex badly and they take it for love often and when they get that sensual pleasure they start loosing their interest because they assumed that they got you in and now you are their’s as there property. To deal with these guys never gave your self 100% always try to hide your emotions (difficult though for an Aries) and if you get close to him be very slow as you have planned. i am telling you from my mistakes and the first hand experience of myself as my taurus man was crazy about me up until i gave my self to him after confession of his love for me but when i did that he started loosing interest in me and becoming distant

    I think it it the main natural law of attraction we are only interested in a thing or object when it remain at a distant the moment we get that object we get less and less interested in that so please try to maintain that attraction and love alive i pray for you that you will get your man by your side for the whole life.

    As for me i have made that mistake to be swept away by his love confessions and now what i am alone and sad he never calls and sms me and it is only me that calls him occasionally. I am reduced to the sex part now and you know once a girl gives her self to any body she cannot leave or forget him. any ways i think i will be dead someday by the pain and misery i feel inside. Do not know what to do?

    For me I never had an experience of a Taurus bullshit before. sometimes i feel that it is nearly impossible to let these men open to you and you cant even make friends with them because they don’t let you in behind there mask which is necessary for friendship.

    Love you all & wish you all the success in the world with these guys i am going in sane plz pray for me.

  334. #334 by cloud9 on August 13, 2009 - 10:56 am

    good morning everyone!

    i do have a situation that occured yesterday…

    well, my daughter had been awa for a few days and i told my taurus guy that i have free time. anyhow, we had spent every day together, but he only stayed one night. he was suppose to sleep over last night. heres the scenario:

    after his negotiation deal, i thought we were suppose to g oout with another couple and then call it a night. he then realized his friend(who’s having relationship problems) called him like 6 times. i knew they were suppose to play chess, so i fgured he’d play chess and then we would finish the night off together.

    anyhow, he noticed i was a little bothered, but i was also tired, as well. i told him that it seemed like every now and then, his friend wants to play chess when we are getting ready to do something or are dong something.

    now, he looked like he was upset at the fact that i expressed my feelings to him because he asked. what it was was that he acted as though he didn’t want to go play chess and stay with me.

    i was like NO, i know you want to go play chess with your friend. don’t stay here with me on the account that i want you here. i truly don’t want anyone around me that wants to be somewhere else.

    he seemed a little defensive. i told him to go. he said he would get his things from home and come back after playing chess.

    i woke up at 2am and noticed i got a message. he said he drank too many beers and thought it would be best for him to go home and he would come in the morning. i was seeing red.

    you may think cloud9 should not be seeing red. she should be glad that taurus called her and went home instead of driving tipsy. true. but here’s what gets me:

    he is an adult. he has been drinking beer for years. he knows the amount of beers that would get him a little drunk, so therefore, he obviously was not thinking enough about me to stop at a certain limit and come over to my house. he knew that last night was the last night we could spend together because my daughter is coming home today.

    so, it is almost 7am. i am up, cleaning the house and am pondering as to what to say to him. yes, i am pissed, but am glad that he did not drive all over the city risking his life and everyone else’s.

    true, it could be worse, but i am thinking as to say the right thing, so i can make my point. i beleive i have plenty of time because he probably may come over around 10 or 11.

    so, rather than to blow up, i am going to take the smart approach and let him say what he has to say first, and then i will say what i need to say, based on what he says.

    facial expressions and body language says it all. he pays attention to that, because he does it, too. i will keep you posted.

    let me also remind you that although our relationship is great, these are just some of the annoying situations that can occur. we still have that good repor, but as human beings we tend to do things that are not necessarily the best in any given situation.

  335. #335 by GemWoman on August 13, 2009 - 5:42 pm

    Wow all of this rings true for me as well. I have been ‘dating’ a Taurus guy and his mood swings are really starting to freak me out.

    Add to that, this is a LDR so I never know what is going on with him. He has already visited me once and extended the invite for me to visit him. BUT as soon as I booked the ticket, his mood changed again. I dont know what the hell is going on with this guy.

    I have no patience as a Gemini, but I am about as fickle as they come and this guy is totally different than any other I have ever dated. Cancer, Gemini, Leo, any others I can put my finger on but this guy is something different.

    I get bored easily and if I get the same vibes from him after this trip then I may just have to accept his friendship and realize that nothing more will come of it.

  336. #336 by GemWoman on August 13, 2009 - 5:44 pm

    @Cloud 9 thank you! I will definitely take heed to your words. ๐Ÿ™‚

  337. #337 by Jess on August 13, 2009 - 6:15 pm

    Hi Jena Ali,

    Thank you so much for sharing your experience! In my opinion, it was not a mistake of you for giving in to him after his love confession. But perhaps you are making a mistake now by reduce yourself to just sex and allowing him to keep on mistreating you like this.

    Jena Ali, you said when a girl gives herself to anybody, she can not leave or forget him. This is so not true especially for us Aries, we are stronger and much better than that and you knew it! You are too smart to let this shit happens to you. We Aries can be trapped in our own drama and depression from love sick for a while but not so long ok?

    Dont pray, but play! Life is too precious to waste it with one fcking bull, get out of the useless agony, if you like you can even get a new bull and lets ride!

    For the sex part, I agree that Taurus is all so much for sex and sensual. But I dont think sex is a driving force for them in ‘love&relationship’ I agree they can say it to get sex but not relationship. I know they can wait. They are somewhat perfectionist. To them things are not accidently happend nor forced to, it happend for a reason and/or for a plan! They always want the best even it means they have to wait. And we all know they dont have problem at all with waiting.

    It was not until at our 8th date when we had sex first time. I know he can wait as long as he feels I’m not playing hard to get with him, I keep him wait for a reason and he knew it. I dont know what his driving force to a relationship, I guess I will ever find that out if he ever wants one with me. I take things on reality and at a time as long as he plays it fair. Take as much time as he likes, but for once and all. I put up and work with my patient as much as I can go, if I cant handle anymore then I will tell him, if he can fix, its good, if not then I got to move on. Its that simple. If he will see other girls or sex with, I’m out. A guy got to go not my pride.

  338. #338 by Jess on August 13, 2009 - 6:28 pm

    Hi Cloud9,

    Thanks for sharing. You are a smart girl handling the issue with calm!

    I really cant count on Taurus atleast mine to act like adult or care for my schedule for 2 scenarios: 1) when he is out party or drinking with friends. 2) when he is working!!!!!!

    Arggggggggggg! I cant count enough on how many times he will just keep on and on and onnnnnn enjoy partying or working like mad that it takes up our time supposed to be together, our plan to meet, our schedule, our…, etc. Its vain and too lazy to get mad because he will adorably coming around later with no guilt. So if i did get mad, it turns out i’m the crazy one who gets crazy out of nothing…. (can you believe them!)

  339. #339 by cloud9 on August 14, 2009 - 2:17 am

    you have to understand that the taurus guys mean no harm when they stay away for a long time. this is how they are. right now, mine had a bad situation and we talked about it and now he is on the phone with a friend and i believe he is going to be talking awhile.

    i am getting so used to him. you have to pay them no mind. they are not trying to be malicious when they do these things. its their nature. i can’t even explain it anymore than i’ve tried to make sense.

    my man is upset and i have to let him vent elsewhere. now, when he is done, i am going to give him some of the best sex he’s ever had. thats what he is going to need and appreciate.

    you have to learn how to work your taurus man.

    listen to me and you too will be on your way to the altar!

    oh about last night:

    i think i should have not been mad at him because at least he called me and explained why he didn’t come over. i know i can get so emotional that i want to slap him. being a cancer, its hard to calm your emotions.

    i am so addicted to him its not even funny.

    we are truly in love and we both talk about our problems and we don’t let any issues linger.

  340. #340 by GemWoman on August 14, 2009 - 7:16 pm

    I just need for it all to make sense before my GEMINI craziness takes control and makes me cancel my trip.

  341. #341 by Jess on August 15, 2009 - 2:37 am

    Hi GemWoman,

    Talking about making sense with Taurus? you can just forget that term! LOL. Take advice from Cloud9, I think she is very right.

  342. #342 by cloud9 on August 17, 2009 - 4:44 pm

    ZedOk, so here is how I dealt with my taurus man on a recent dilema:

    We were suppose to meet late(or so, I thought…) I got home around 12ish. I called him, as promised. However, he did not answer his phone. I fell asleep and woke up to the news about a person being shot three times in a cab. Because the news had ot that this happened on my street, I was sooo upset, because its not like him to not respond to my calls late. So, I called and called, in hopes that he would answer, I then began calling hospitals to see if he was there.

    To no avail, no hospital had his name and it was now like 5am. I got up, started cleaning and called him and left a message. He called back 20 mins later.

    I told him why I was upset and he apologized and explained himself. When I told him I thought he was on his way over and he fell alseep. We were going back and forth for understanding .

    Needless to say, he got upset for whatever reason and said he will talk to me later.I gladly hung up with him.

    It appears that he wants the conversations to be one way and I will not allow that. I don’t have to curse him out , but let him know that I am an individual with thoughts and opinions.

    We will most likely see each other later, but I don’t pay him any mind because a taurus is a taurus.

  343. #343 by Jess on August 18, 2009 - 12:34 pm

    Hmmm…. may be I should thanks my T that he NEVER called me so i never have to put up with the not there/not picking up/not returning call/not calling enough/missed call/etc… (pun intended)

    8 months so far, yet I have never seen mine get upset atleast not with me, may be because that is my job! LOL! but I dont get upset for too long because its his job to twist his ass around to get me distracted from what i was upsetting about (to upset about something else instead…lol.)

    This is how I deal with my Taurus:

    I ALWAYS do what i promised, when i told him i will text I always do, and i never missed our schedule to meet. Although I hardly plan or initiate the next meeting but I almost never say No to everytime he asked me out.(except if i already had plan). I always arrive on time even he is often late. And I never complain. I know he notice that in me and he appreciates it (but it doesnt help so much for him to get better…) One time we were talking about something, he suddenly told me out of no where that in the future he will wait for me. I had no idea what he was talking about but I didnt feel like asking. When Taurus throws subtle hint, just play dumb. Dont ask because he cant explain it either. But keep that in mind and you will find it in his action later (later = forever…lol..Joking!)

    Well, i mean i always be myself and do what i always do, no matter what shit he wants to be. (no text, show up late, disappear, cancel date, rude, sharp tongue, etc.) I’m not going to change my reaction up to his action. But when thing getting too much and really bother me, I tell him.

    I used to tell him, after dating for 2 months and he thought it was a joke and funny to send me porn link, that i find it offensive and I’m not up for sex or something fun its not my moral value. He replied that I should have known him better that it was only a joke and he has no interest in my moral value as he found it too uptight and i should find someone else with the same value… I told him its fine but i need to be upfront to tell him what is not ok for me even its ok for him. I’m not the type of girl who will just play along now to say its not ok later. Just because he thinks its a joke doesnt make its alright for me. I guess i earn his respect from that and he started chasing me harder.

    My ‘upset’ reaction is either be quiet or tears run down (in soft and feminine way) its not my personality to act loud when i get upset. My Taurus used to think i was pretending to be cool and keep the temper inside. I even feel he tried to push it to make me burst out my temper. I gave him a glance and said he can keep trying as i want to know also how far I can explode my negative emotion but if i had too much the worst I can ever give is to disappear, because to me when you treat a person like air or to disappear from a person is the worst thing. Well, now he is not getting so much on my nerve again…haha.

    Taurus men! Love them and hate them!

  344. #344 by cloud9 on August 18, 2009 - 6:56 pm

    Jess,

    Its so funny how you talk about your taurus guy. Mine sounds so similiar! Lol. When we had our first argument, I tried talking to him, and he didn’t listen. I ignored him the whole day and he started chasing me harder. They know their stubborness can make them appear to be real jerks. This i s why mine approaches me very slowly the next day. He knows how it made me feel, so he apologizes in his own way.

    We had a disagreement and the next day we were around each other, I hit my knee and says, don’t hurt that knee, I have plans for you. I didn’t respond. I think he wants to reassure me that we are getting married, but doesn’t come out and say it.

    Jess, you know how to handle the taurus! I wish everyone, here could, too.

  345. #345 by GemWoman on August 19, 2009 - 1:28 pm

    Jess, I know I know LOL

    well he is having another swing thingy but I know he has things going on that have NOTHING to do with me. My new motto is

    DONT TAKE IT PERSONAL!

    I think as long as I hold on to that, and he doesnt tell me that it is something that I did or said, then I will be fine.

    I am two days away from this visit and he was happy and planning two days ago but all this other stuff that is going on has him down. I just hope seeing me will help get him out of his funk. I just want to have fun. I will be satisfied being friends if this keeps up. I am set in my ways and adjusting to someone else’s mood, especially with the distance factor weighing heavily, will not work at this point in my life.

  346. #346 by cloud9 on August 20, 2009 - 4:46 pm

    yes, you can’t take it personal with them.

    my taurus has indirectly asked me to marry him and has indicated on many occasions that he plans to marry me. however, he was making a joke and said “when i get married…” and i was like W-T_F? so, i think it is uncomfortable for him to say this to me. all his actions show that he intends to marry me, but he is very weird in his approach to do so.

    ignoring them is one of the best things you can do. if you get into a verbal altercation, they will make sure they win, so you are best to say what you have to say and them let them have the floor, cause they have to have the last say…

    my taurus knows that i am there for him, as he is with me. so, i realize what we have and am glad that we don’t appear to have issues like other women/men, lying, and all the huge things that raise doubt in any relationship.

  347. #347 by Jess on August 22, 2009 - 3:10 am

    Hi Ladies,

    The board has been a little quite here, i guess the bulls must have been on vacation! LOL.

    GemWoman,

    Be careful even you just want to have fun and would be fine with being just friends. I personally dont buy into friends wtih benefit, it would only put my heart and pride at risk.

    Cloud9,

    I can totally relate to the bull fcuking joke! LOL.

  348. #348 by cloud9 on August 22, 2009 - 4:29 pm

    yeah, don’t settle for friends with benefits from ANY man.
    nowadays, its too much of a risk, because so many people have little or no intentions to have a serious relationship.

    i must say, i have learned to control my feelings dealing with taurus. yes, you have a right to feel whatever way you feel, when taurus does “himself” but if you choose to get angry and get upset, you are only hurting you.

    you may think i am going a little overboard with the feelings, but when you think about it, you don’t want anyone controlling your way of thinking. thats why i don’t buy into getting so emotional that i would go off at the slightest thing. its not worth it.

    you want to know something? i would get steve harvey’s book. it is a really good book and it helps you see how men act and behave and how you will look at things differently than you did before. you will begin to minimize your “typical” woman behaviors and be a pro at dealing with men.

    trust me, it works.

  349. #349 by Jess on August 22, 2009 - 5:02 pm

    Hey Cloud9,

    You are so right on! I totally agree with you! especially the controlling of own feelings! Really even though things with me and my Taurus man might not work out at the end, I appreciate and am secretly being thankful to my bull for introducing me to the world of reality, patient and self control!

    Well…it’s always easier said than done especially being emotionally and sensitive as I am… will keep on practicing on it!

  350. #350 by saggi girl on August 24, 2009 - 2:29 pm

    hi Jess,

    it is nice to hear from you, i know it has been very quite this site for a while. My taurus went to see his mother last friday and has not been back yet. one thing i did agree with CLoud9 is not to take things personal. they are just like that.

    My taurus went to see his mother on last friday, and i told him to text me when he gets there, he called me instead around 8pm, but i was out and did not hear it. so he left me a message letting me know that he got there safe and stated that he is going to call me on sunday, but he did not, so i texted him on sunday night around 9:50pm, like” got home safely?”, he did not return until 10:30pm, saying” no, i will come back on tomorrow night. good night with kisses, baby,(smiling face).”
    see, i think he totally forgot that he said that he was going to call on sunday, but i did not take it personal this time as he was spending time with his mother, who has been in hospital for a whole year, and recently got worse, he was telling me that he has to spend time as much as he can with his mother, that is what he told me during the message. i think sometimes, we all got caught up with our emotion, i think it is right that they can not deal with the heavy emotion especially hte negative one, sometimes, they do not even know where you came from.

    so, i think that i am still learning….. we recently had a conversation when he came to help moving into a new place, hi, Jess, i finally moved in with my girlfriend because of the bug problem, i know it is a little crazy, i was asking him why he stays with me: he’s like” i can not promise anything about future right now, but i think we matched up, i mean it is not great as nothing is great, but what we have is really hard to find.” i do not know if it is a good thing to take, well, still learning…..

    i think they want the harmony, peace… even though they are the one breaking the peace, but they do not know it… i think we do need to have our own rule, but sometimes, we need to control our emotion, and deal with it when the situation is positive and both are calm.. like how Cloud9 dealt with his bull when he did not come over while he was drunk.. that is smart..

    share, share… we need more…

  351. #351 by cloud9 on August 24, 2009 - 8:34 pm

    yes, we do need more.

    we can complain all we want, but until we start doing something about these bulls, we are never going to move past the BS.

    they honestly don’t think like most. once they are focused on something, they can’t and won’t be disturbed from it. otherwise, they will be pissed.

    but, they do like it when a woman gets an attitude to let them know they did something wrong. as long as you dn’t make a scene, but let them know in the exact same way they would tell you, they would not have a problem with it.

  352. #352 by GemWoman on August 24, 2009 - 10:00 pm

    Thanks for everyones responses. Fortunately for me my ‘friends with benefits’ days have passed. I am almost 40. Those days are long gone.

    When I say have fun, I truly meant HAVE FUN. Meaning we we are together, going out, hanging out, enjoying his company.

    1300 plus miles wouldnt work with my high drive anyway. If I wanted that I could easily hook up with the local losers.

  353. #353 by sassygal on August 27, 2009 - 5:53 pm

    Hi to all,

    saggi girl,

    Glad to hear from you! Look like you are having your emotion at calm and your situation under control now. I totally agree with you that we need to first have control on our own emotion, and that we dont need to deal with the situation right away but leave it until both get more positive and and calm so that we don’t destroy everything in a blast.

    Keep on good work and keep us posted saggi girl.

    GemWoman,

    You sound like a strong personality. You know what you want and what you are doing, just be careful Taurus men are so charmingggg! Anyway how was your trip? any trick from Taurus to share? lol.

    Take care everyone!

  354. #354 by saggi girl on August 27, 2009 - 7:34 pm

    hi sassy girl,

    who are you?????????? new to here?????? well, welcome..

  355. #355 by Jess on August 28, 2009 - 3:15 am

    LOLLLL!

    Hi Saggi girl, hahaha. Its me. I was on another laptop last night, Sassygal is a new ID name I use to write a blog. I guess this RSS thing will remember you last ID…

  356. #356 by saggi girl on August 28, 2009 - 9:57 pm

    Jess,

    hehehe… it is YOU. Sassy girl….LOL

    how was your guy moving closer stuff? is that going well? i recently found that my taurus was responding to my text very ofen almost every time. As before, he hates text and told me that he’d rather call, so he just call instead of texing. he did not use to responde to my text unless it is very necessary, but right now he responde almost every time i texted him even when he was working. and very sweet tone, something wrong????

  357. #357 by Jess on August 29, 2009 - 3:00 am

    hehehe saggi girl! now you think something might be wrong with your Taurus??!!! Isnt that good sign?! hehe.

    Saggi girl, mine is the same too! looks like we chat and text everday now and we start calling each other ‘sweety’. He starts to tell me his schedule whenever he will be out of town. As he wanted that we spend more time together, He already spent 2 weekend at this service apartment close to me but I cant do this too often. It takes too much energy from me!!! Because I work on Saturday too and it seems like I didnt get to sleep when I’m with him… then I had to rush to work on Saturday morning and rush back to him after work then rush to my house on Sunday because its cleaning day…

    Hey saggi girl, i dont know may be it’s paying off after all the patient we put up with them?! LOL. Let’s hope they keep it this way and getting better.

    Happy weekend!

  358. #358 by SadPisces on August 30, 2009 - 6:40 pm

    I should have read this before getting involved with this man! I feel so silly for studying up on the taurus man and getting the idea in my head that I was really falling for a lover that is capable of a real loving relationship with just one person. What I got is a man that tells me he wishes we were closer to each other, and we are at the same point in our lives where we want to commit, and that we just fit, and when I respond with a caring, agreement of his statement plus a little of what I feel too, I get IGNORED! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I mean he just doesn’t respond at all! He works outdoors (very skilled craftsman) so I know that he has been out of work from the rain for a week now, and still nothing. We talk mostly online and phone because we live far from each other and I am not worried about his talking to someone else, I don’t think with my intuition usually being correct, that he is straying. I just feel like I have to walk on egg shells and completely do every tiny thing right or I have failed and he has shut me out. Pisces, DONT DO IT!!! RUN!!

  359. #359 by Scorpgal on August 31, 2009 - 11:00 am

    I’m a Scorpio woman that has been dealing with a Taurus guy since the beginning of the year and this is the first Taurus guy I have dated and let me tell you…they are very weird indeed! I mean, they tell you how much they are falling for you and they make future plans with you and then the moment you start to tell and show them any kind of emotion, they get VERY distant and start to ignore phone calls, text messages and emails…what is up with that?? He finally reappeared after almost six months and surprised me by coming to a concert(totally unexpected). He even brought up our anniversary and told me that he trusted me. Ummmm….excuse me?!?!? I was offically convinced that this man has some mental issues. He still ignores some of my messages and does not initiate communication with me unless I make the first move. He confuses me soooo much. I just want to know if he is playing games or does he really have feelings for me??

  360. #360 by saggi girl on August 31, 2009 - 2:48 pm

    hi Jess,

    i am really glad to hear from you and also like the fact that you and your taurus are getting closer… as for me,
    i did not have a good weekend as something happened…

    Remember the thing about text that i mentioned in the last post, he was acting very sweet and i got sick during last last weekend, he even told me that if i need him, i could call him, so he will get off the work earlier to take care of me, It is very sweet for him to offer especially he was very busy and we lived kind of far.
    i guess i got a little carried away about this text stuff, we talked on saturday, everything is ok, then he told me that he will call again on sunday and does want to see me on sunday as well. we did not see each other on last last weekend as he went to see his mother, and this weekend he will go again, so he wanted to see me last weekend. He told me that he will be busy with his own business today and he was driving at the moment of speak, so we talked briefly and he hung up the phone. later on, i texted him with unidentified ID like” love you, babe.” i thought it is funny and he does not know who sent it. then 2 hours later, he texted me with a smiling face on the text. so, i texted him back with a question mark to pretend that i do not understand why he sent me this message but i forgot to change back the ID, so it still shows undentified ID. then my phone rang, i did not answer, then i changed back the phone with my ID shown and texted him with a smiling face, then i called him and left him a message asking for a call back. he called back and i was pretending very inocent, he was like” what are you doing?’ i was like” i did not do anything, why?” he was like” why you kept sending me those message while i told you that i am busy.” i think i kind of stupid and embarrased myself too bad, then i kept silence, then he was like” from now on, i have to change it back, i am not going to respond to your messages, you stil can send it as i always love to see it, but do not expect me to reply.” I was like” i just want to let you know how i feel.” then he was like” sweet heart, i am not mad at you, it is sweet, but i can not keep up with those games as i have no time for it. i got to be busy with my day as i got a lot of things to do.’ then i was like” what about that message i sent to you?” then he was like” it is sweet.” then i was like” that’s it? you have nothing to say to me?” he was like” fuck, i got go, i am still gonna call you and see you tomorrow, bye.” then he hung up the phone. one minute later he texted me like” i will tell you when i am ready. do not ask me.”

    we saw each other yesterday, he answered a few phone calls on the way from his mom’s nurse and his sister, we had a good time together, he was kind of money tight right now, so i treated him about the lunch…. on my way back, i mentioned that thing again, he was like: i will tell you when i am ready.” he kept saying that, then i mentioned that he answered this question before by saying he does not love me, if he means it. he was like” i just do not want to be pressured.” then i was like” are you in love with me or not.” he was like” i will say it when i am ready.ok?” so, i was like” so, you do not love me, if you don’t, why you stay with me? because of the help i can offer you and i can treat you the meal?’ he was like” you went too far, it is kind of harsh. i will say it when i am ready.” then he started raising his voice, i was trying to get out the car, he hold me back and trying to give me a kiss, then i was like” no, let me go.” he was like” do not go like that, give me a kiss.” then i insisted going, then i finally got out of the car, he was like” you just go like that, it is too bad.” then i walked away, he drove the car closer to my back and called me name, then i looked back while i ws walking , but i did not stop, then i got into my building. he did not call after that…

    am i wrong????????????????? why he kept telling me” i will tell you when i am ready.” does that mean he does not? if he does not, why he stays with me? because i could offer him help in case????????

    i do not know i am really mad at him, he was explaning to me in the car that he’s sorry that he could not spend much time with me because of his constant traveling to see his mother…. he does not get why i was mad at him, he thought it was because that he can not give me much of his time…. i do not know, jess, i kind of feel that he is closer to me before, but at the back of my head that i was thinking that he can use my help, that is why he is sweet to me, but at the same time, i felt that he was acting a little bit wierd as the attention he gave me is too much, and the way he spoke to me is too sweet, i suspect his intention….

    something funny aside from this is that i found that when he is mad and even though he is yelling, when you changed the topic to something else, like look at that person, he will be like” which one?” it is funny…

  361. #361 by saggi girl on August 31, 2009 - 3:02 pm

    hi Jess,

    called me name Means” called my real name, it is not the cursing name.” hehe, want to clarify..

  362. #362 by Jess on September 1, 2009 - 7:43 am

    Ladies,

    Please, whatever your Taurus ‘TOLD’ you whether how sweet it may sound (how you make them feel like never felt before, how they feel you are meant to be, how they waited for years to always want to be with you, how they wanted to spend more time to know you, how they talk about future/moving in/marriage/kids/etc. etc. etc…) Just ignore it! You need to look into their ‘ACTION’

    Yes, Taurus are direct and honestly tell you what they think and what they like BUT it is what they think and like ‘AT THE MOMENT’. They dont make plan now because they are kind of animal who is not going anywhere and can wait forever if it takes for the good things, the great things, the next to the best thing/even the best thing (well…actuall it means ‘everything’) to just fall right on their laps until they run into THE BEST&PERFECT ONE! then they are going to pursuuuuuuue to the end get it!

    Now you ladies, decide which one you want to be: the good/the great/the next to perfect/or even the best.

    You may think I exaggerate but according to Taurus i know they have definition to what is best&perfect in their own sense. They are not in a hurry to find one because they know nothing best come in rush and the last one standing will find it eventually, meanwhile there are so many beauties in this world along the way for them to enjoy.

  363. #363 by Jess on September 1, 2009 - 8:22 am

    saggi girl my dear,

    You are just being childish (again…LOL.) The ‘i love you’ feeling is not for him to answer, but for him to tell you by his own heart, his own term, his own moment. Yes, when he is ready.

    I know it should not be a problem or any myth to know and to say ‘yes I do love’ to a person you care so much and have a feeling for. But dont you think if he is supposed to say it, he would have said it long time ago (without you even having to ask) BUT then saggi girl, you are going to ask me…’well then it means he never loved me? otherwise it shouldn’t take a person so long time to know if its love or not’. I will tell its not true. Its easier when you are young to tell whether you love a person or not because a young heart is lighter without so much bad experiences without so many bruise not so much life burden.

    I been dating my Taurus guy for 9 months so far, I can’t even tell myself if I ‘love’ him or not. (are you surprised?) I dont know about him and I hope he is not going to ask me that question too soon atleast not in this year because I don’t and am not preparing the answer (luckily he is a Taurus so I can expect he will wait forever to ask me or anything with me at all)

    Eventhough you see that I try to figure him out and take it by psycology+ astrology+ strategy+ etc… LOL. I know I will tell him when I actually feel it, even he might not feel the same because its my own feeling that I want it to grow and mature before I deliver it to the person who i hope worth it at the end.

    Dont get mad at him saggi girl, you are wasiting energy for nothing and try not bring up this question unless you are planning to give him the final shot and leave for good if he still cant tell the love. You can and it’s understandable to doubt if he stays because you pay but its not wise to say it to him because you are hurting his pride. Saggi girl you are not lending hm money yet? right? if not then its good. You will not push him to the edge, if he tried to hold you, let him and give in after his few attempt.

    I’m sorry to tell you that I cant accept if my partner leave the car in the middle of the road like that… (please don’t hate me for i’m too logic sometimes…) I really can’t handle it.

    Oh saggi girl, your Taurus funny thing is exactly the same as mine, and actually he also like to use that trick with me too!

    I hope I didn’t sound harsh on this one. And please keep me posted.

  364. #364 by saggi girl on September 1, 2009 - 2:47 pm

    Jess,

    Actually, i can not lie to you that i did lend him some money when he was really in need, i can not see him suffering….i know he is working hard to make the ends meet, i guess he did not make that well. he has been in his own business for a long time and it did not do well, so he just took this job for doing the commodity broker, but it seems he is having a hard time… i complained about doing that, he said that he will fix his financial problem and take this money issue off the table in our relationship… i do not know, i feel bad and good at the same time, i do not know if you can understand… but that is where i am now.
    i actually feel that we are closer started like a month ago when we have a huge fight, but i soften up and let it go. i text him after the fight like” it is too bad to fight like that, let us cool it off and we can talk later, do you agree?’ he texted me back like” yeah, I agree, we can talk later.” right after that, i do not know, i just feel that he is acting all different, more caring, more patient… it is hard to explain.

    he called me last night, asked me if we are ok. I said yes. then he told me taht he has already bought the ticket to his hometown to see his mother, she might not make it in a few weeks and she is sleeping away according to the nurse. but what suprised me is that he said taht he wants to see me before he go for his trip on this friday, actually we just saw each other 2 days ago,he never did this before, he is normally just went to do his own thing and take care of me after that, like i have to fit into his schedule, otherwise, i can not see him.. but this time is really suprising me, he kept apologizing that he can not spend much time he can because of his mother issue, but he will see me soon… i do not think he will do that before…

    Jess, i do not if it is a good sign or not, but it was too stupid to mix up with the money issue in, hopefully, it will pass soon..

    thanks Jess, big time

  365. #365 by Jess on September 1, 2009 - 4:43 pm

    saggi girl,

    WoW do you think there is such thing as seasonal behaviour for these Taurus men? The reason I asked because you said yours getting closer and sweeter and want to see more, its the same with mine! Mine also asked to meet a day before he had to fly out of town. When he’s back I see him again that same evening and it was only 2 hours after he arrived to the airport. Then 4 days later which is yesterday, we meet again!

    Saggi girl, I understand what said that you feel good and bad at the same time for lending him money… Yes I agree it’s not so smart to mix up money issue because it can jeopardize any relationship but it can also be a prove as a basis of trust and something else if you are able to handle it well. You already given him a shot, so its no use to worry now just try to keep this issue aside not to bring up in every argument. If it was meant to be and if your guy can make it pass through this tough time, Taurus will always remember for the rest of his life.

    Just go and meet him before he fly to his mother. Be easy of letting go of hard feelings and silly arguments (he shall appreciate that) but hold on tight to any good feelings you have for each other.

  366. #366 by saggi girl on September 1, 2009 - 5:57 pm

    HI Jess,

    it is good to hear your advice on this, which actually ease me up a little bit…

    it might be a seasonal behavior of taurus man. LOL, i just like it. i reminded him last night about what we did in the car: he hold me while we were listening to a romantic song.” i said it is romantic, he laughed and said” yeah, it is cute, i miss you.” i just like it when he is all soft and sweet, it is irresistable….

    i will cross my finger and pray that this season will last longer…LOL.

    love you..

  367. #367 by GemWoman on September 1, 2009 - 10:55 pm

    Last Friday I decided to email my Taurus guy my needs and he basically said that he wasnt in a position to meet them. I wont settle soooooooo……….friends it is. No benefits.
    I was a little sad but after we spoke we didnt rule anything out. Just not ‘now’. Me and my patience level will be tested. ๐Ÿ™‚

    My trip was fab, he took me out on a series of ‘dates’ in a short time. It was cool. We had a GREAT time.

    We spoke today (he called me after I left a vmail yesterday. I couldnt bear to call him direct so I cheated and responded via vmail LOL) and I thought that it went well. Like nothing had changed but who knows with this guy. LOL

    ………..and YES I am a strong personality. LOL tough as nails, but a big ole softy when it comes to him.

  368. #368 by cloud9 on September 5, 2009 - 5:03 pm

    hey all.
    my taurus guy and i have been together, going on over a year. it seems like forever! he sent me a text one night, saying ” i love you”

    i was so moved by it.

    what i have learned is that to rarely call them, no matter how much you want to talk to them. i think its too much for them.

    we have both been on vacation for the last few weekes and ahve been seeing each other just about every day. i got so used to him being at my house that i missed him, when he wasn’t there.

    anyhow, with taurus, they take a long time to process information, so when you say something or do something, you have to give them time to digest it. once you understand this, you will get mad alot less. you will also be alot less prone to excessively call them.

    i tell you i read steve harvey’s book and its almost like my bible.

    anyhow, i told my taurus man that i am in full support of him and if he ever feels like no one cares, to think of me. i have always been there for him and he is there for me, now, that i am in a crisis situation.

    finally, i recieved the title of being “his lady” to be honest, i was trying not to get stuck on titles, but i felt good to hear him say that to his friends.

    that took a little over a year. within the last month, he mentioned to me that he was my future husband and asked me if i knew that. i was like WHATTTT???!! i am happy to have heard that, but until i am Mrs. Taurus, i will be comfortable.

    he, now shares his ideas with me and even asks me to read over his writings. i feel honored because this man is a writer.

    he still does his little taurus shindigs, but i address the issue and its over. we don’t have shouting matches(since that one incident) because we talk about things before they get out of hand. sometimes it takes me some time to get what he is saying and some times, it takes time for him to get what i am saying.

    i asked him: how do you feel about me; how do i make you feel?

    his answer was that he is usually at peace with me. he thinks i am funny and very accomodating, but he didn’t have time to finish because i asked him at the wrong time because he had to go somewhere.

    anyhow, remain feminine with these men. they love it.

    i know at times, mine acts like he wants to be with his friends, often. i have accepted this, so as long as it doesn’t intefere with our relationship.

    trust the taurus man. if you place doubt in your mind, its going to take over and cause problems within your relationship. they need to feel free. hell, i need to be free, too!

  369. #369 by Mimi on September 6, 2009 - 1:08 pm

    girls i’ve been reading all of these statements and you have no idea how much our problems are alike!!

    so, i’ve been seeing my taurus man for a year now, he’s a Steward so i hardly ever see him, but we spent valentine’s day together, his bday together, myy bd togetherr and the new year’s eve.
    to him it’s like that is “enough” to show that u’re “the one”..on the valentine’s day he gave me a heart with “only you” written on it..prettyy graphic yet i still wish it was true lol
    anyway, he hates calls, never replies to text msgz, yet once when i felt like i really needed to hear his voice i texted him at midnight saying ” mum just got into a bad accident” and he called right away and asked about her..yea talk about weird behavior!
    i know all of his friends, i make sure i go out with them although he’s not around cause that gives him a security feeling, like ” you fit in ” with his clique.
    when i call him he’s very polite, sometimes he sends me long kisses through the phonee lol but yes he’s a moody person..
    our only problem is we can’t manage to meet often..being a steward makes it harder for me to know when he’s back to the country and when he’s off, but if i call him to ask about it he’ll surely tell me..but well he doesn’t like getting called ALL the time so i do it rarelyy to show him that i can give him his space.
    oncee he told this man we hardlyy know ” here is my wifee” and he held my hand tight, that was likee..shocking to me.
    i really don’t know what to expect with him to be honest, cause when he’s in love with me, he really is, but when he’s away, he’s faar away..but all of his friends say whatever he does he keeps coming back to me, like am “family” to him now or smth.
    so i hope you girls give me some advice about how to make the meetings more frequent and i really need your opinion!
    love you guys and goodluck with you T beast lol

  370. #370 by saggi girl on September 8, 2009 - 2:07 pm

    cloud9,

    i am glad that things are working out for you and sharing with us.

    it is very interesting when you mentioned that taurus does not to take calls. i agree with that as it is like that.

    i rarely called my taurus during over a year and half dating, it normally he calls me. there are some occasion that i called him and he is glad to hear. but i agree not to call them unless they are waiting for you to call when you know. it is hard to explain but it is strange that they are this way…

    Cloud, nice work, keep us posted. i’d like to hear when your are married to him….. at least, we got one fruitful..

  371. #371 by GemWoman on September 8, 2009 - 7:12 pm

    Well as much as I tried to be ‘strong’ (UGH) I did call mine last week and spill my guts. I told him that he is the most fun to be around guy I have met in a long time. I told him that I wont run this time. That I wont use my ‘issues’ to keep him at bay. I also explained that I will stick to the ‘no benefits’ thing but that I dont want to rule out more than friends in the future. that if he has already ‘switched gears’ and moved on thats ok but I needed to let my feelings be known.

    I didnt hear back from him, until about three days later. I got a text, “got your vmail, will call soon.”

    Well soon was five days later. We chatted it up a bit about something re: my visit his way. I was impressed that he wanted to remind me of what I was supposed to do. I went into too much detail about an ex bf and a convo I had with him re: ‘us’. He asked a few more questions and then shut it down, pretty quickly.

    I sent him an email Labor day to say hey and that I hope his holiday was going well. No response.

    I was in a minor accident this morning and I IM’d him to let him know aobu tit (I am fine) He responded and we chatted for about five minutes. I called him at lunch time, no answer. Soooooo I wait………………to see if he will call me this week???? right???? LMAO

    Gemini says LEAVE HIS A$$ alone but reading your posts makes me think that I caused this (by maybe rushing him a bit) and Im going to fix it. I am no pushover but my track record for being patient and giving things time to progress is pretty lousy (ya know that convo with the ex, yeah that was the subject)

    I am going to stand firm but give him time to come around. No date or time frame. I think if I wait (still dating and not really waiting for Hhim) he will be THE one!

  372. #372 by GemWoman on September 8, 2009 - 7:16 pm

    sorry for the typos, rushing at work. ๐Ÿ™‚

  373. #373 by cloud9 on September 9, 2009 - 4:47 pm

    ok, here’s the deal, ladies:

    taurus guys don’t like small talk. mine told me from day one!

    this is why they don’t respond. so, stop driving yourselves crazy! its not you! its them. they do this to EVERYONE.

    i know.

    weird.

    but thats our men!

    i still have the emotional issue, but if you look at what they do, not so much how they do it, you will be fine. mine told me he was going to call me back friday after he is done with his mom at the hospital(her friend is in there). he didn’t call me. i texted him a sexy message. he didn’t get back. i kept thinking and remembering the typical behavior of th taurus. so, right when i was ready to burst. he calls me on sunday. i acted like nothing happened and he did the same.

    i am still like: WTF??!!

    anyhow, he tells me he is playing chess with a friemd of his. i am somewhat annoyed cause this friend is single and i guess he is hanging around, until he gets a woman of is own…

    yeah

    i know.

    he then tells me he will call me the next day to see what i am doing.

    so, then he calls me.

    by then, i am missing him and all that mushy gushy stuff.

    now, part of my problem is that i some times lose control over my emotions. i have to keep busy.

    this man tells me he loves me on the regular. he is attentive to me. what more could i ask for? i am not saying to settle to maltreatment or any type of abuse. i just know that these men are not typical and we need to keep that in mind.
    my man loves is when i am soft and pink. he sees the ultra feminine side of me and he loves the strong portion of me, when i need to do the things i need to do.

    PLEASE… DO NOT WAIT FOR THEM TO CALL. YOU WILL LOSE YOUR MIND. WE’LL ALL BE SITTING IN A MENTAL INSTITUTION. THEY WILL CALL WHEN THEY CAN.

    REMEMBER, THEY MOVE ALOT SLOWER THAN MOST, BUT WHEN THEY FINALLY DELIVER, ITS WORTH IT.

    KEEP BUSY.

    KEEP BUSY.

    AS LONG AS HE KEEPS COMING BACK, YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT.

    PAY MORE ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU ARE DOING.

  374. #374 by Jess on September 10, 2009 - 3:32 am

    Hi everyone,

    My update:

    I have been through so much stress and drama for the past 2 weeks. Start with argument with family which ended up pretty nasty is more than enough to keep me at the bottom of the world…

    Then my Taurus got sick with a strange symptom which I first thought it was nothing more than some kind of infection. I told him to leave it for few days if it didnt get better we see a doctor. So we went for a doctor to get appointment for checking, I didnt join him on his appointment day because I had to work so he only text me after finished that it will take a week to know the test result. That was the only thing he said without mentioning anything more or detail.

    So I didnt suspect a bit but notice he keep making joke about what we should do and where we should go for a trip because he might be dying soon. 2 days before his test result appointment, he told me how the symptom can be indicator to cancer… now I was like WTFF!!! (what the fcuking fcuk!!!) He still make a joke that if it was cancer he will take me for a Carribean trip…..This stressed me all the way, I couldnt sleep staying up searching internet about it so i forgot to ask what time for his appointment. I text him to ask just on a night before it, he didnt reply. So i text again that I want to join or if not possible could he keeps me informed during the day. Again he didnt reply…. Now this is not normal, he always return my text. In the morning I woke up to turn on computer the first thing, he left me offline message saying some cute words but nothing to tell about his appointment at all. I was anxious but i had to go to work. While driving, i saw a guy look so much like him (but for sure it was not him because my house is very far from the city) That got me so scared. It just top up all stress and depression. I feel like every bad feelings attack me to my heart so i got freak out and cry. I arrived to the office and figure out a way to get him to get back to me.

    Anyway at the end of the day we found out it was not cancer but lung infection. I’m so relieved! (but now the question is that what kind of infection in the lung…)

    Really sometimes I feel so much like giving him a lady slap at his face, but many times really feel like presenting the whole art of ass kicking and punching face plus smacking his head as a bonus!!!! Arrrrrgggggggggg!!!

    Ladies, I wonder if any of your bulls got problem with his health?

  375. #375 by H on September 10, 2009 - 1:01 pm

    Seriously, Iโ€™m so glad I found this website. It is really freaky and scary that Taurus guys behave like this because I have been seeing one (nothing official) since May this year. At times I wonder what the hell is wrong with him, hot and cold all the time.

    But I figured itโ€™s my fault as well because I wasnโ€™t too sure he was into me and constantly left him. In his words: โ€œyou are always leaving me/dropping meโ€. Yes, I did it so often, because in May, I was still attached to some other guy (we werenโ€™t doing well, just hanging on for comfort and this Taurus male knows it).

    It was all sweet in the beginning; I saw the sensitive side of him and even noted that when he spoke to me in person and on the phone, his voice changed (something softer). Which I noticed was the same tone as when he spoke to his mom.

    But things are starting to change a lot because of me constantly dropping him in the past, I realised I must have hurt this bull a lot. I recalled sometime in June, he dropped me a message telling me that he was very happy to send me around/pick me up โ€“ all I had to do was call. Now itโ€™s a whole new story.

    He doesnโ€™t reply my sms,IM, calls. Emails are still okay or if I sound desperate enough, heโ€™d reply me, other than that, itโ€™s all silent. He really does speak to me at his own pace, I still hear from him daily, but starting to be twice a day once. What does this mean really? Sigh.

    He did tell me to be more understanding, after me desperately asking him what going on, for he has been very busy with work and family issues (momโ€™s not feeling well).

    Well, Iโ€™m an Aries girl and boy is this a big change for me. Iโ€™m actually very attracted to his stability.

  376. #376 by H on September 10, 2009 - 1:05 pm

    oh, may I add, we are constantly fighting but the last one came and went by sometime in late Aug. Since then, its been good because his been busy.

    He said he can’t promise me anything, but if I had to know, he still misses me and likes me alot. Well, Unless I decide that’s not enough for now. so ya. ๐Ÿ˜

    Rules rules rules.

    These bulls really work damn hard don’t they?

    I just hope its the truth.. because the sudden change of affection is getting very difficult to cope and I have to understand it. sheesh.

  377. #377 by saggi girl on September 10, 2009 - 2:07 pm

    Hi Jess,

    OMG, i am so sorry to hear that. are you ok??? i know it is very hard that everything happened at the same time especially your tarurus situation. thank god, it is not cancer, it is not that bad, right???

    sometimes, i really hate how they take things in a way making people worried but they just did not get it. I remembered one time my taurus did the almost the same thing but not that serious symptom, i was so worried and kept texting and asking how he was, when he did not return the message, i freaked out…. when we finally talked, he was laughing and told me to relax…. i think somethimes, they are testing if you really care or they might enjoyed being worried by the one he loves, even though they told you to relax and not a big deal but deep inside, they are happy as it seems like they are precious to you…

    Jess, do not think too much, try to see the bright side, he is not a cancer patient(LOL)…. right?

    as for my taurus, he is ok but his mom is sleeping away…

  378. #378 by saggi girl on September 10, 2009 - 2:29 pm

    Hi H,

    welcome aboard. now we got another member in our family…

    wow, your post makes me scared and was wondering if we are dealing with the same guy. but i started dating him over a year and half ago, but recently his mom got health issue as well.

    is that a coincident? or they are the same person???? what does he do for a living?? if you do not mind me asking???

  379. #379 by H on September 10, 2009 - 5:47 pm

    Hi Saggi Girl,

    His still pretty much a student, and although this bull is highly secretive, I do trust him for some reason.

    Taurus pple are pretty reliable in this sense ain’t they?

    Oh, when he told me that he could not affirm me with regards to status and that he could not give me what other guys could potential do right now, I got a little cheesed off.

    So I said, ooh, so you want to go dating other girls now eh? If so, I just need to know.

    He got so offended! Its funny. He said something along the lines of…

    Date other girls? No such okay. What do you mean I want to date other girls. No such thing at all.

    Weird weird.

    I don’t think its the same person anw ๐Ÿ™‚

  380. #380 by saggi girl on September 10, 2009 - 7:02 pm

    hi H,

    lOL, sorry for being too cautious, i am released now..Ou, sweating…

    with regard to the status thing, they are always like that. i am saying 100 percent with all taurus, but at least the one we are dealing with on this site, probably we are just the failed one. LOL…

    mine was still not giving me the title but only dated me i believe.. even though i got scared earlier, hehehe…

  381. #381 by GemWoman on September 10, 2009 - 7:02 pm

    LOL probably the BEST quote I have heard all year is….

    saggi girl

    “wow, your post makes me scared and was wondering if we are dealing with the same guy.”

    I have been saying the same thing myself after reading these comments. LMAO

    I tell you what, if this is the same guy (which we pray that none of you/us is actually seeing the same guy) he is a busy one AND keeps us all in a tizzy.

    BUT if this is Taurus male(s) in action, we sure have found one heck of a support system in dealing with them. HA!

    For the record mine is black/in his 40’s.

    I havent heard a word from him the past couple of days. I figure since my accident on Tuesday he should have at least called or responded via IM. NOTHING, now I am all for Taurus male having his ‘ways’ but when selfish and lack of concern start to factor in…..hmmm old Gemini gal steps in and starts telling GemWoman that its not worth it.

    We shall see……

  382. #382 by saggi girl on September 10, 2009 - 7:07 pm

    HI Gemwoman,

    LOL, it does make me scared…

    i agree with you that they are very selfish. but the funny part is that they are criticizing us for being selfish when they are the worst……

    I thought he spoke with you right after the accident for short conversation, right??? if so, they are not gonna call again to reconfirm if you told them that you are ok… sometimes, i think they are like cold-blood animal and hard head bull…

  383. #383 by saggi girl on September 10, 2009 - 7:15 pm

    oh, Gemwoman,

    mine is in his 40’s too…. we are in silence right now for a day as we had a small fight on Tuesday night…. he said that i was immature and selfish. then i was calm and told him” well, i think you are right, i am.. thank you for your comment.” then he told me that he does not want to argue and would like to talk about something else, then i told him” whatever you wanna talk about.” then he asked how my day was and how my parents was doing. i just gave short answer for all the question he asked as i hate when they are judging while they are the one should be judged.. then he said “good night’, i said the same and did not wait for him to give me the kiss as i normally did. then he called back 2 minutes later, but i did not answer as i was still mad. so, he left the kiss in the message like” hi, good night, i just want to kiss you good night. talk to you later, goodbye.” that was one day ago, i haven’t heard since. actually, i texted him some information he needed long time ago, he did not reply yet, i guess he does not want to talk to me, i guess… but i got my own reason to be mad as i hate their harsh judgement… you know they have sharp tongue…

  384. #384 by GemWoman on September 10, 2009 - 7:16 pm

    @Saggi girl…..

    It was a short IM convo and since I wasnt in the office on yesterday (no Instant Messenger, no facebook,etc) I thought FOR SURE he would notice and at least call to say hey are you ok?? Like when we were really ‘into it’ if I wasnt at work by a certain time, he would text something like ‘you working today” now its like NOTHING AT ALL.

    I messed up by stating my ‘needs’ too son but I tried to fix it and I think I have lost him.

    The other side to that coin is that if he doesnt want me after that then he may not be the guy for me after all. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Can’t knock a girl for trying to right her wrongs, huh?

    Cold blooded eh? well I tell you what, if Im being rejected, he hasnt SEEN cold blooded yet. If I ever get a call after being rejected……it wont be pretty. I am a SWEET as pie…….and they dont understand why…..gets em every time LMAO

  385. #385 by saggi girl on September 10, 2009 - 7:43 pm

    Gemwoman,

    you are funny.. so you haven’t talked after the accident, so,you did not tell him that you are ok, did you? I think it really depends on how long you have been seeing each other, if not long enough, he probably won’t be that considerate… you know how they are…mine takes a long while to concern about me….. they are just strange people. sometimes, you think they do not care when they acutally do in their way, but honestly, i do not get their way when they claim they do in their way… it is just BS…

  386. #386 by GemWoman on September 10, 2009 - 7:59 pm

    We ‘met’ in February but didnt actually try to do anything about it until July. I was seeing someone else and kinda forgot about him, BUT after that ended I contacted him. He responded and we were actually getting pretty’close’ until I messed it up and blind sided him with my four page email….sigh………that damned writer in me. Its a blessing and a curse. LMAO

    sooooooooooo that is why Im still feeling weird about not hearing from him. I told him that I was ok, but STILL if it were him in this situation I would have called to at least make sure he was STILL Ok.

    WE will all get through this. I just have to keep busy and focus on other things. I have plenty going on in my life to stay busy but this Taurus guy keeps creeping into my thoughts throughout the day……and night (yes I miss the phone calls before bed, yeah they were regular…..sigh….)

  387. #387 by GemWoman on September 10, 2009 - 9:57 pm

    HA after reading my posts the past month or so I am just as confused as I wanna be.

    This man has my mind scrambled.

    gotta get it together!!!!

  388. #388 by aquariusgirl on September 11, 2009 - 7:07 am

    Hi all,

    I came across this site after some frustrating issues with my Taurus man, and figured it wouldn’t hurt to look up astrological traits. And wow, I’m a believer after reading this.

    Some background? I’m a very easy going girl, I hate drama, don’t like to make waves, and am always trying to please everyone. He and I met at a bar (I know, I know) and hit it off. Spent 2 hours talking and exchanged numbers. He told me that night he’d never met anyone like me before. He waited the full 3 days to call me and ask me out. The third time we hung out he told me all about how he hasn’t had many official girlfriends (a few that only lasted 6 mos or less), but how he just “dated” most girls for 6mos to a year without any commitment. I thought, well I think it’s pretty clear he’s a commitment-phobe, and he’s obviously trying to warn me. We both said we wanted to just take things slow and see how it plays out. We spent a month hanging out together at least 2-3 times a week. We just clicked.

    After the month he asks me if I want to take things to the next level and make things official. Shocked the hell out of me, because even though I was falling for him, I thought he didn’t want that. I even joked around with him about that conversation and said he threw me for a loop. He said he realized after he said all that to me that it may have come off a little weird, but that with most of the girls he dated before they wouldn’t have that talk and 6 months down the road they had a completely different idea of where the relationship was or was headed and it made it awkward. He figured he’d get it out up front.

    Anyways, we’ve been together officially for 3 months now, and almost everything about him is wonderful. He’s introduced me to all his friends, I recently had dinner with him and his parents, we’ve both been to each other’s family functions, we’ve been on a few trips together, he is always talking about future plans or trips he wants to take with me, etc etc. All the signs of a guy who is totally into his woman and in it for the long haul, right?

    The main issue I have with him is the calling thing. A couple months in he starts flaking. We’ll be hanging out and he’ll say “We should hang out Saturday”. I say “Yeah that sounds good”. And then Saturday comes and he either disappears, or after I call him and leave a message asking if he still wants to get together, he’s made other plans. The thing that bothers me is he doesn’t call to say “Hey I know we said we’d hang out, but I’m gonna go do this instead”. I’m fine with that. I’m not fine waiting around for him to get back to me. He’s done this probably 5-6 times already. And he goes through periods of not calling or texting back. A month or so ago I felt like I was the one to always call or text him and maybe I was bugging him (and mind you I would send him maybe 1 text a day about random stuff), so I stopped. It took him 4 days to call. And he never plans weekends or things like that. I work 2 jobs, one full time and one part time on nights and weekends, which always changes around each week. So sometimes my work schedule gets in the way of us hanging out. I am usually always the one to say, hey what are you doing this day, even though I tell him what days I have off. He doesn’t make weekend plans. I feel like he just expects me to be available for him whenever he wants to get together. It seems like he’s doing this more and more.

    I have asked some guy friends their advice about it, and they think it’s super weird. We don’t talk on the phone, really the only communication is to find out when we’re going to see each other.

    So I decided to try an experiment. We’ve been short staffed at my 2nd job so I was scheduled every night during the week. And I decided to book myself solid through the weekend as well. Friday after work I’m seeing a movie with friends, Saturday morning I have a work meeting, Saturday night I have dinner with another friend, Sunday my sister’s baby shower, and Sunday night meet up with another friend to catch up. I figured if he calls with the usual last minute “hey come over lets hang out” I can say “Sorry, I have plans”. Maybe he’ll realize he has to let me know when he wants to see me instead of expecting me to be available. But one thing he did that royally pissed me off was: He sent me a text on Tuesday basically saying he needed some loving and if i was free. I told him no, I had to work, in fact I was working every night through Friday and I was having a brutal week. He said he was bummed and maybe I needed a little TLC too. I told him “Yeah, maybe this weekend, but that’s booking up pretty quick too.” You know what he sent back? “That’s cool. I only need 5 minutes of your time”. I almost threw my phone against the wall!! Granted, I know he was joking around, and he probably thought he was being sexy/cute, but really? I tell him he’s probably not going to see me for a week and he says that’s fine all he needs is a booty call? I responded back to him “…wow… such a romantic… *rolls eyes* i’m really bummed we can’t hang out either”. He responds “Haha you know I’m kidding. This work stuff’s getting in the way of our special time. But we’ll manage”.

    We’ll see how it works out. I really would like this to work out between us. Have any of you tried this approach? Does it work or am I wasting my time, and he won’t take the hint?

    I love the fact that you all share stories and have this whole support group going ๐Ÿ™‚

    Thanks in advance for any advice!

  389. #389 by saggi girl on September 11, 2009 - 2:10 pm

    aquariusgirl,

    when i saw your post, it is like that i saw myself struggling with that sometimes before. but right now, i am ok with him in regard to this going out on weekend issue. but let me assure you that they are like that, it does not surprise me at all. i remembered when i started dating him like for the first 2 months, we were seeing each other at least once a week, but after 2 months, he will start like not sure if he can make it for the next date, i have to mention it a few days before that, then he will be like” i am not sure, i will let you know the day before.” i was trying to hint a few times, it won’t work. as that is who they are, that is how they handle things. and they do not think they are playing game, as like i said that is who they are. one time he cancelled at the last minute, i was really pissed and then i spoke out my thought and hope he can respect my time too. then he did. I think they will appreciate your speaking-out but not in a dramatic way. Do not make it big out of this and just tell him how you think and they will respect it. I think. as mine does improve.

    as for calling and texing, how often you talk to each other? as we normally talk to each other every other day, but sometimes, we did not when he was very busy. but one time, he did not call for 4-5 days, then i started wondering if he was ok. so when he finally called, i went off on him as i was really mad as i was worried. so i told him that i was worried and thought something was wrong. then he applogized and stated that he will be more sensitive next time and did not know that i was worried like that. So, i think, when you were mad that he did not call ofen enough, just let him know that it will worry you in terms of his wellbeing not because of your insecurity.. then he will think you were mad because of the concern toward him. i think he will appreciate it..

    well, i am not an expert to give you any suggestion to follow, it was just my experience on mine. but we had a small fight 2 days ago, he has not called…LOL

  390. #390 by GemWoman on September 11, 2009 - 5:03 pm

    @Saggi girl you ARE an expert LMAO

    If this were any other guy I would SWEAR I was getting played, but with this one and his awful traits Im gonna see what happens. I will not sit by and just wait but I will try, try try(did I say that enough times) to be patient.

    grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

    Too all ladies, hang in there if you must. If you love the guy, then do it, but if you kinda like him, make sure you have options.

    Who knows you may miss out on the RIGHT guy waiting for this guy to act RIGHT.

    Smooches GW

  391. #391 by saggi girl on September 11, 2009 - 6:54 pm

    Gemwoman,

    thank you.. very proud… LOL

    have a nice weekend, girls. wait to see the drama next week..

  392. #392 by GemWoman on September 11, 2009 - 7:21 pm

    Ha! my patience level is ZERO!

    Update, last one.

    Well, after reading through these posts again, and seeing how distant they can be for no reason at all. I couldnt take another day of ‘not knowing’ so I sent another email.

    This one asking if I was being avoided or if he was just busy.

    The response I got was straight and to the point, YES THINGS HAVE CHANGED but not in friendship, we are still cool. BUt another email like this one and that can change, WTF??

    Not this direct but thats the gist of it. Its a no go! shyt!

    Ah well, tis life. You ladies enjoy your Taurus men but after this one I think I will run like the wind if I meet another one. LMAO

  393. #393 by Jess on September 12, 2009 - 5:08 am

    Hi ladies,

    Saggi girl,

    Thank you for concern. I’m ok just very busy and very tired. I should have got used to it because with me things always be coming at a time. About my Taurus, we still dont know the problem since he is too stubborn to make it to see specialized doctor.

    Now we have more choice than cancer, which is tuberculosis… I really admire the calmness and stable in Taurus in the way he handles such a terriying situation. But it could be nothing so until he see a specialist to know know exactly the problem, I will do my best not to be panic and overreact…

    Hi Mimi,

    Your story and situation with your Taurus seems very well and going great! I wouldn’t try to push or pull anything more or less than where it is now. Because it seems that most of the time it’ll be Taurus who need to signal a green light first before thing can be moved forward… (yes it doesn’t sound fair but it is a must that this man has to be ready on his own will/time to really move at all)

    My little trick is: every time you meet, make it so very intense that even you guys ended the night passionately, yet fulfilled! My Taurus told me I make him feel different from other girls he dated. With them he always feel the more they meet the sooner he get bored, but with me the more we meet, the more there is and the more he feels… (not sure i explained it well)

    Anyway, you are doing just fine, so keep it going!

    H, and aquariusgirl,

    Hi and welcome! as long as they keep contact constantly, it’s good sign. Dealing with Taurus, you are dealing with PRESENT! not past nor future. Stick to the present and take thing as it is step by step, simple and easy. Not Try not to jump in a conclusion too soon or make yourself miserable with too much details.

    GemWomen,

    You can’t expect definite answer (or any exactly plan) out of their ass… LOL sorry but that is what I said to mine T. You need more than a patient but strong and positive mind to keep going with the guy. I would tell you not to look for the ‘sign of love’ by expecting the same favor in return (ie. call or text back, speak up feelings, plan for next meetin, etc.) you can forget about that pattern. Think this way if he calls/text/email back it’s good, if not no problem. It doesnt mean it’ll be good as long as he calls/text/email back.

  394. #394 by H on September 12, 2009 - 1:49 pm

    I don’t understand why Taurus guys behave this way and really don’t understand how or why we girls can continue attempting to love one.

    My grandma and mother both married Taurus man. Both don’t seem all that happy in their marriage and thus, I’ve been a little wary of Taurus guys for some reason.

    But this one just made me trace alongside and now, I wonder why the hell I let my guard down. I should have known right from the start, but still did it anw and I know there’s nothing I can do to make him speak to me when he doesn’t want to. Or do I really have to wait for him? Till when?

    Honestly, even if he spoke to me a few days down the road.. it doesn’t mean anything. He comes as he please and go as he likes, what am I to do? Wait?

    Is he keeping a distance a mere sign that he feels afraid from investing too much emotions or is it a sign that says… I’m really not so sure where this is all heading. How does one go from one extremely (showing a lot of love and care) to disappearing entirely without a trace, without saying anything at all?

    This keeping a distance.. is it a test for us to see how long we can hold out for, just because he feels that he is going in to fast, too deep or because we are starting to show our interest? hmm…

    I should have known better somehow.

  395. #395 by Jess on September 12, 2009 - 4:35 pm

    Hi H,

    Regardless of any sign, I hardly find one woman who is truly be happy in marriage life…

    Speaking about Taurus and distance thing… it depends on your definition toward ‘distance’ For me, meeting like once in a week or 2 weeks sounds acceptable if not reasonable. I’m not a big fan of talking on the phone but i need to hear something from my guy everyday either text or email or chat.

    I will say this, it might not be right but it’s what I stand firm for, that you won’t disappear too long from someone’s life if that is someone who you truly care. Don’t get confused with love because love is another story and that takes more than just time. I personally don’t buy ‘fear of commitment’ story, i find it totally bullshit… I mean it’s true and perhaps I’m one who also got this issue. I mean if a guy let this fear take over and lose the chance to have what could be meaningfully last for life, it means he did make a choice, a lousy one. And that makes him a loser. So why bother keeping a loser? or trying to convince a loser to be a winner? is that possible? is that worth it?

    But ladies, before giving up on this, play it nice and fair. Ask yourself are you being realistic and reasonable with the situation? Are you sure you want to conclude a 3 months (or so) romance story as ‘love’? and that 3 months is enough for us to expect a somewhat commitment sign from the other? Thing contrary, despite of this passionate feeing burning inside of you, can you truely believe if a guy confess his love only after few moths? Sorry but I for one am not going to buy into any of these scenes.

    Cheer up everyone!

  396. #396 by Jess on September 13, 2009 - 2:24 pm

    Hi ladies,

    Just today that I have time to stay home relaxing and sleeping all day, I get on here to read a few recent comments again.

    aquariusgirl,

    Your Taurus man is very funny and cute! hahaha (sorry i know it was not funny for you at time but you knew he was joking and i cant help laughing my ass off!) looks like things are going pretty well for you guys though.

    H,

    I’m Aries too. I agree that it seems the reason he can’t promise you anything might because of the way you were taking him for granted in the past. But this can’t be fixed by how much text, words, or explanation. You can’t convince him but show it in time. Try not to text him too often. Do it as in Ping Pong game, text one back as a reply only if he text you first.

  397. #397 by H on September 14, 2009 - 12:33 am

    Hi Jess,

    I actually took in some of the advise here and went through what I did for the past few months. All I can say is, I must have overlooked the fact that they are in fact, very sensitive people.

    Come to think of it, he was already observing me right from the start, and I must have failed it. Thus, explaining why he can’t promise me anything.

    From the way he remembers what I say, to the way he reacts (he remembers and I’m just shock now – to think of it, there were subtle hints that he remembers!), I drew together that he was very attentive in listening to my answers and really, I think I must have blew it all up.

    We are still in constant contact, sometimes daily, sometimes a couple of text per 2 days. I guess its a good sign, from what I see? Feels like he is ‘trying’ again, just feels as if we are back to the point whereby we just met. Slow contact.. hahah.

    Good luck girls, these bulls are really slow but I guess, its just sweet to see how they are willing to drop everything, I mean everything for their family (parents, siblings) without a blink.

  398. #398 by Jess on September 14, 2009 - 2:40 am

    Hi H,

    Yes I totally agree with you! and defenitely confirm about Taurus observe us and remember details! They really do but they pretend to be ignorance and act as if they are reackless and not paying so much attention.

    About sensitive, Oh yes they are! One thing I come to notice with people/or sign who appear to be strong and tough from the outside, actually to protect how soft and weak they are inside… Atleast ARies like me, and I’m pretty sure my Taurus even I realize now he’s sensitive but he can’t beat me for being sensitive and emotional.

    All the best for you and your Taurus. I think once he really let you in, he will be the most person you can really put your faith and trust in!

  399. #399 by saggi girl on September 14, 2009 - 2:40 pm

    Hi, Jess

    i am glad to hear that you are feeling better but you got to be careful as the tubercolosis is a infectious disease. i mean to be careful before he was really confirmed..

    It seems that you are doing good with your taurus. mine is ok too. we saw each other last sunday and everything is ok except one thing when he mentioned that he is really to have sex… we haven’t done it for over 6 months due to his thought about his marriage. he told me the reason we did not do is not because he was not attactive to me is because of his marriage. he said right now the reason is getting distant…he has moved on…. i do not know if it is a good sign… but i really saw a different side of him yesterday, wow, someone told me that taurus loves sex, i did not believe it unitl yesterday, it seems that he has been controlling himself and has been holding it up but right now, he is a little bit… hard to say.

    But, Jess, I know deep inside that he was not really actually enjoy it when we first time did it like over 1 year and half ago as i do not know how to sexually please man( sorry, i am blushing.. now) as i am kind of shy.. so, i told him that i know he did not enjoy that with me, he said he can teach me. then i said not to force me, then he said ” but do not resist.” then i said ” if you do not enjoy that with me, i want you to be happy, so you can find someone else. as i really want you to be happy. i know the sex is playing a big part in a relationship.” then he said” thank you, baby, but i am not going to.” am i too stupid to say that, but i really feel sorry for not making him happy when he finally decided to proceed with me for doing that stuff after over 6 months of holding up… then i felt bad and told him that he might need to find someone else, he told me to stop…it is not that bad, stop alway being negative about everything, we will work it out, he will teach me….

    what do you think? Jess….

  400. #400 by saggi girl on September 14, 2009 - 2:48 pm

    Hi Jess,

    something to add, we are discussing about sex yesterday, it is kind of too open for discussing that with him as we never really discuss about it. I told him that i might need to buy some sexy sleepingwear, as all i have it hello kitty sleeping wear, he was laughing out loud and told me that what i wear is really does not matter, actually hello kitty wear is cute… he said if a person he is not attactive to, even though she is wearing a see through, still not making sense to a guy… is that true??? but i think the sexy wear will turn a man on, right?? it does matter, right??? i am just confused..

  401. #401 by Confused Libra on September 14, 2009 - 6:32 pm

    Wow! How great to read about all your experience dating Taurus men. I spent all day yesterday reading everything and finally just finished it. I wanted to search and know if I am getting confused signals because he is just not into me or because there is something else going on. I’d appreciate everyone’s input.

    Here’s my Taurus story.

    We met in an online community in July where he sent me an email also indicating that he is looking for a long term relationship. We moved rather quickly and exchanged numbers 2 days into email exchange. We have been talking on an average of 3-4 time for the first 3 weeks and on 4th week, every night for a hour or two. Finally after a few weeks, he asked me out so we went hiking together. All the chemistry and connection were there. He kissed me and held my hand and he revealed the whole picture. That he has three children and a wife he is waiting to divorce (due to her sexual orientation). I was shocked but the mental connection we had built prior to our meeting has long planted in my head so it wasn’t easy to let go. Two weeks after our first date, he still didn’t call. So i called him up and invited him out for last minute dinner. As confusion as it was, everything seems to be normal and our interaction seems to be great when we were with each other. We spent hours together that night, he invited himself in when dropped me off, for the first half of the night, we cuddled and slept together. Second half of the night, we became intimate. Well, i am not regretting anything decision we have made together and we have talked about this soon after. We are still interested in seeing each other and learn about each other. Since that, we pretty much see each other once a week and we always have sex. As much I enjoy the intimacy with him, I couldn’t help to wonder if it is just SEX and nothing more. The thing that makes me uncomfortable is that his soon to be divorced wife is living in his guest house in the backyard while he stays with the three children in the main house. Out of the several times visiting him at his house (as he needs to stay in due to the children, so i come visit him after they are in bed), I have met his children’s mother 3 times out of 5. The first encounter was rather uncomfortable for me that i did not expect to meet anyone but to spend time cooking with him. She happened to be home (their children were with relatives), he did not introduce me to her nor did he introduce her to me. I introduced myself to her and invited her to stay for dinner (and I genially mean it). He seem to be a bit preoccupied that night due to the fact that he almost lost a finger at work that day so I’ll give him a pass on that. The second and third time when I came by to visit him and saw the children’s mother, she was on the phone with her new partner in the office and she acknowledged of me being there and I said hi. It does not seem like she cares for him to have me around there nor was he uncomfortable about it so I have no doubt that what he told me about his marriage situation was true. One of these night when I also met the children’s mother, I also met his youngest, who is 3. The introduction was rather weird (In my Taurus’s bed because the child woke up suffering a stomach flu and he was taking care of him, he came out and took my hand asked me to sit with them in bed). He introduced me to his three year old as a friend and was positive and said good things about me to the child. The three of us co-slept for a while. The child cried and asked for his mother, it was rather late so he handed the child to his mother after several attempt to clam him down. The mother went to bed with the child next door to my Taurus. We spent the rest of the night talking, cuddling, sleeping, and some intimate moments till dawn then I heard the child cried (I was under the impression that the mother would take the child to her bed instead of the the child’s bed that is next door to my Taurus date) and I realized that everything we said or did could have be heard.

    According to my date, we are casually dating since he just got out of a relationship and everything is so new to him. I once brought up my concern that I am getting a “Friends with Benefits” feeling as he can’t devote time on the weekend to see me, and can’t really leave the children on the weekday. I always go to his house to see him (not that i have problem with that, but i want to know that he is taking my needs into consideration). He was definite and sure that we are not FWB and that he has feelings for me. He thinks of me when I am not around (Yet, i am not sure why he doesn’t call. He used to all the time). Last week, I told him that I would like to hear from him perhaps every other day or so just so we have a connection going on during the week. That was on Thursday night when we went to bed together. He acknowledged my needs and I must admit that I was disappointed that he didn’t call at all over the weekend since I mentioned on Friday am that I’d like to see him before next week and perhaps we can watch a movie after the children are in bed. I have not heard from him yet and I don’t know what the deal is now.

    Once I expressed that I prefer to date one person at the same and I’d give a block of time to that person until I find out this person is not a long term relationship material. I told him that I understand it takes him time to figure out what he wants and do take as much time as he needs, but not too long (in a playful way). I also told him that I try not to call him before he calls me because he had expressed that certain thoughts can not be rushed and that he appreciates that I give him time to do so. He commended that most girls would keep calling till he gets on the phone V.S i’d call once (and seems like he doesn’t really pick up his phone anymore and he doesn’t call back till he is ready) leave a message and end of the story. There could be a lot of reasons, kids, work, and whatever he is focusing on doing. But I wonder, where is this going? And of course I understand it’s only been 2 months. I do believe we have the mental connection, but perhaps physical connection is taking majority of our interaction now? He commended that it is between a 60-80% physical attraction now depends on the day and we maintain a 20-40% mental attraction. I told him that I’d like to bring that closer to close to 50-50 and that that 20-40% of mental connection will fade away if we don’t communicate on the regular bases. Anyone have similar experience with Taurus man?

    I think I have made myself clear that I am willing to give him time to figure out and make sure everything is in place in his life. However, I am not willing to wait forever so he can continue dating others and shop around. I know I am a darn good woman and there are others on the line waiting to go out with me again. I don’t want to date others now. His children are not an issue and I love children in general, I just can’t be their mother because they already have one. I’d be there for them and support them if they need me. One thing also bugs me is his house is very messy and dis-organized. I doubt I can spend time with him at his own house where there is no room to walk around, dishes uncleaned, and laundries laying around the room. Perhaps that’s why he feels most comfortable in his room and I feel comfortable there too. I continue to show him affection, and i don’t deny his requests when he wants to see me or have sex with me. But i don’t want to be fooled, played and I need more substance to build a soild relationship. Help me please. I am very confused.

  402. #402 by saggi girl on September 14, 2009 - 8:58 pm

    Confused Libra,

    welcome aboard…we got a lot to share.. LOL

    you reminded of myself like over a year and half ago when i was dealing with my taurus. It was such a ride…. confused, want to dump him and want to keep him, he likes me and where is this going? what is going on with his wife? as mine was seperating from his wife for almost 3 years. i was always wondering what i am to him. so, i broke up with him. got back together, then i did again. right now, we are not defining any term of what we have, but he was telling me that what we have is really hard to find and when we saw each other, we are more like a friend that we can trust each other. it has been a long journey, one particular thing i learned during years of dating is that they can not be pushed, no matter what, they only do things on their own term.

    Mine stopped having sex with me over 6 months ago when he needs to figure something out about his marriage,there are some moments we got excited, but then he stopped… he said that we will do it when time is right. i did not understand before but then he told me that he was ready to move on…. so i figured that the drama he gave you has something to do with his marriage as she is always in sight…. so, how long they have been seperating? do you really know? i heard that taurus was not easily to get over his past, they need times, when it is time for them to move on, they will…so, it is hard to say…

    trust is the big issue for them, they need to trust you first before start anything with you….. but trusting a person does take times… so, you are only dating for 2 months, i will say it is too short…. believe me..

    If you really liked this guy, really want to start something in the future, i would say patience, patience, patience…. you have to be ready for the ups and downs.. mine does not have kids, he does take a lot of time to think over his relationship wit his soon-to-be-ex as far as i see…. but also one thing you need to be sure if that he does not date anyone besides you, otherwise, move on…

  403. #403 by Confused Libra on September 14, 2009 - 10:57 pm

    Hi Saggi Girl:

    I think his wife being around really makes me uncomfortable. He has not referred her as “wife” rather “the children’s mother”. She even got condoms for him from Costco. I mean, there must be something seriously wrong in their relationship so after three children, she can seriously not care he is having sex with other women. i understand her sexual preference can not be changed and that my Taurus must be hurt. According to him, it’s been about 2 years since she confessed that she is not into him anymore. It was only last Nov he moved on. One time he mentioned I am the third women he’s had sexual relationship with since that (in the course of last 1.5 year). The last year, she has been in and out of the guest house and the last 3 months she only sleeps in the guest house and that they no longer share a bed together even though she still has some cloth in his bedroom (???? this confuses me a great deal. Either you are out or you are in, not setting boundaries would really hurt either of their potential relationship and eventually will confuse the children more). I do not mind the facts that she is living in the guest house there since they have children together and economy is hard at the moment. However, i do believe there need to be a define schedule for the child care and personal life purposes. How is my Taurus suppose to date others if he is constantly being tied down with the children and household chores? Even though he said he wants to date others, I seriously doubt he has time to do so with his job, his children and he seems to be a very devoted father.

    A few weeks ago, he mentioned that he was thinking a lot about a question i had asked him and that was “whether he can devote the sort of time and emotional energy to establish a strong partnership, of the kind i deserve and the kind he thinks he wants” I think he is still thinking because that he said it clear that he does not like to rush certain thoughts. I have also indicated that I am only willing to come in second next to his children,nothing more and nothing less.

    I am not a typical Libra and I have lots of patient. However, I would hate to devote time and emotion on him knowing that he never has the intention to know me as a whole person. It is perfectly fine if we spend time together and found out we are not right for each other. I have no trust issue and in fact I am very straight forward with him and don’t play games with him. Sure I like to go out and sure I like to socialize with others. My friends continue setting me up with their husbands’ friends and coworkers but I just dont’ feel like dating others now. i am dating him and him alone. I also am not resenting him about the calls or outings and i respect his limitations due to family, work, and children.

    My frustration comes from he was very communicative, and all the sudden nothing? He agrees and acknowledges of what I said and what I am feeling but he is not doing anything different. Should I have try a more direct approach and just ask him to call me and take me out? I certainly noticed the difference in his time planning since his children returned home. The last time we went out doing anything before dark was the two weeks his children were out of town with relative. I am confident that he will not deny my request to want to see him during the week after his children are in bed but has said that he can see me one day on the weekend every 2-3 weeks because he doesnt’ like to be away from his children and he feels guilty when he does. I am not trying to take him away from his children and I am fine with him seeing me just one night a week if that’s all he has (he allows/wants me to stay over till right before the children wake up since her two older children haven’t met me yet). I just need him to talk to me and tell me that we are on the same page. I’ve come to realization that either I need to slow down and follow his lead or we are going no where. Am I dating a typical Taurus? Why is he so passionate and so warm when I am around and doesn’t seem to care when I am not around? I don’t doubt he said he misses me when I am not around . But is it really hard to pick up phone or just email ?

  404. #404 by Jess on September 15, 2009 - 3:01 am

    Hi saggi girl,

    Yes I confirm that Taurus men love sex! I feel like they are created only for this purpose hahaha ok ok I exaggerate it a bit ๐Ÿ˜‰

    saggi girl, I’m glad you are doing well with your Tarus also and things are getting intimate now ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Please dont worry too much about you being inexperience or getting no clue how to please men sexually. Let your man teach you, and yes, dont resist it!

    Remember one thing that Taurus seek and get pleasure not only from getting sex but from pleasing and giving it to his woman! Trust me on this one!!! I confirm again!!! Don’t worry that you are not good at giving him orgasm, the more important is for you to be open minded and let him lead and guide you.

    As for Sexy lingerie, I personally think hello kitty would work just fine! ๐Ÿ˜‰ You might keep sexy wear for special occasion once in a while. As long as you are being open minded, with body feels good smells good, sexy or not sexy wear (or even better not having any wear at all…) is not so important.

    I highly suggest you to listen to your man for this matter and STOP being negative or feel bad or PUSHING him to get pleasure from other women!!! (Oh Nooooooooooo!)

    Let me know (if you dare ;-)) how much you enjoy the heat and fire of passion next time ๐Ÿ˜‰

    PS. Thank you for your concern about my T illness, seems like he is not ill at all… I’ll be careful though.

  405. #405 by Jess on September 15, 2009 - 4:23 am

    Hi Confused Libra,

    I can not say too much about your Taurus because I personally believe having a wife and children make the story different.

    However I think 2 months is too soon to conclude for a definite status. Obviously attraction and passion is there between 2 of you and I say from personal experience with Taurus that they will only see one woman at a time once they have sex with. From your story, my point of view is that you focus too much on his situation and what he can offer. You are being honest and upfront of what you expect. Now you have to give him time and space to decide and manage it on his own. (I know it is so easy just to pick up that damn phone and call) But Taurus won’t do what they are told! I dont know the reason why yours called and talked lot at the begining then changed now because most Taurus I’m awared of, they don’t like talking so much on the phone. Mind you, I never had to worry about the phone thing nor ever been through experience of hot then cold like you guys only because MINE NEVER CALLED!!! (ARggggggg!!!!!) haha… so he basicly saved me from grief of wondering.

    Focus on yourself, trust your instinct and go for what makes you feel good, hold it down what makes you feel bad or awkward. Don’t accept thing now, just so the relationship can keep going, and find that you can accept no more in the future. Taurus is really slow as he will observe and calculate the surroundings until he is really sure. Therefore Taurus can be indecisive at time until he figure out and make decision, so meanwhile input him with beautiful data but never forget to stand firm on your ground too because he will secretly check on you whatever getting thrown at if you are still remaining your own ground!

    Good luck and cheers.

  406. #406 by Confused Libra on September 15, 2009 - 5:21 am

    Hi Jess:

    Very well said. I am not sure if it is his potential I am after. We had some very great email and phone exchanges prior to our first meeting. And even at our first in face meeting, there was a lot of chemistry, a lot of passion, and a lot of communication. I know for sure that he did not tell me anything about his wife, his children and the whole time we were communicating before meeting in person, he never had a chance to tell me about this? I asked him right after he told me that he has three children and I asked how long he had been divorced, that’s when everything came out. He told me that he feels it was respectful to tell me in person. As i recall on our first few email exchanges, I expressed strongly that I’d rather not be involved with someone who is already involved. I don’t know. I am very confused. But I know he is a good guy and I know we are not only thinking alike, we can think together. I wanted to take things slow but sex happened and happened more than once, I am not sure what to do now. I can’t withheld sex now because it already happened but I really want us to do things together. to discover each other, to learn about each other.

    What should i do? if he calls again, asking me to come over? and I know sex will be part of the entertainment. I want to go because I really want to see him and it makes me happy to see him (just not his house though. It depresses me whenever I see his pigsty). I enjoy time with him and I can overlook that. I even want to clean up his house for him but thought i should have his permission or at least have him invite me to do so. I remembered one occasion when I was cooking at his place, I had to clean the kitchen for 30 minutes before I can start anything. There were dishes in the sink, no clean knives, the counter was a mess. I scrubbed it top to bottom and cleaned the clutter off the dining room table so we have room to eat. I even folded his laundry. All for the facts that i can’t stand clutter and the place being messy, well, part of it is because I want to take a load out of his shoulder. But deep inside, I seriously wonder how could he, his children’s mother allow their children to live like that? There was no room to walk around. The children have been home for 3 weeks now and the suitcase is still sitting in the livingroom, as well as the mother’s suitcase from her recent trip over a week ago. There is no room to sit on the couch. I have a feeling he doesn’t like clutter, or mess but he can’t do anything about it? I understand he works, I understand he takes care of the children. But if while his children’s mother are living in the same household, cooks for them, and they still manage to have a messy household, where is hope?

    I understand it’s too early to have a relationship with him. I am a patient person and I am slowing down to find that good pace for both of us. I do not want to rush him but at the same time, I am confused with all the signals he is sending me. He is caring, nice, and warm when we are together and acting indifference while apart. Today I messaged him and asked about the chicken coop he was building with the children over the weekend, he said hi and sorry in a meeting. That was the last i heard form him. Well, i suppose I know what i am getting into. Prepare to hear a lot of venting everyone. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    I truly hate this. I’d like to think being in any sort of relationship I need to be able to communicate with him first about how I feel and to compromise through open communication. He acknowledge my feelings, my needs, but takes no time or effort to compromise and fulfill my needs. I know I am asking too much from him now as he has his plate full. And I am just frustrated with myself.

  407. #407 by Jess on September 15, 2009 - 7:53 am

    Hi Confused Libra,

    Despite being confused, you spot all the odds pretty well (hiding the facts about his wife and kids at the beginning, the messy house, the wife in the same house but backyard, etc.)

    I imaging how you described him, his house, the relationship with the wife and you, I can’t help but think he probably was looking for what he lack in life which is romance, someone to cuddle and talk, and sex. I’m not sure he’s looking for or want someone to share his (messy and unorganized) life right now.

    In my point of view, I understand how you want to spend time and do thing together as to discover and learn about each other but looks like the only thing or mostly you are doing is having intimate course (sorry to be blunt) I understand it’s easier and better to be at his house so that he can be with his children too. However consider from your 2 months ‘relationship’ (?) I dont think it is your concern now and for you to worry about. You might argue it’s your concern of course because you want to be with him. You are his date not his gf, be it. It’s only 2 months but after you seeing his surroundings, you get sympathy and understanding for his situation, you got excuse to make it easy for him but how you gonna know a man effort how much he is willing to work for this.

    Despite 2 months dating + some period of email/phone contact, are you sure you have enough knowledge about this guy to be willing to go thru this at this moment?

    Also please dont think you can’t withhold sex just because it already happened. Unless you want it too, keep having sex while being confused it could lead you to the doubt of being used for sex or being there just to fulfill sexual desire… Next time he calls, tell him you feel it’s better to meet outside for a coffee or dinner or small chat. This gives excuse for not ending up with sex at his house (UNLESS YOU WANT IT TOO) and also to give something for him to work on.

    If you want to learn about him, dont rush it. Tell him what is ok what is not (which you already had) and see his effort. Sometimes you can learn so much about a person by just ‘GIVING IT TIME’ not only by spending time because people tend to be nice and form attachment by spending time, by giving time you go through frustrations, patient then you see how the other handle it.

    Speaking from personal opinion and hope I didnt stir up more confusion because I only mean well.

  408. #408 by saggi girl on September 15, 2009 - 3:56 pm

    hi Jess,

    thanks for your comfort and it does make me feel better.. hehe, you are good at it…

    i want to share with you one thing very funny… my taurus texted me last night like” good night baby with kisses. i will try to call you tomorrow.” i did not respond right away as i was busy at the moment checking something with my girlfriend. then i was thinking to respond later, 10 minutes later, he called me and then i answered the phone, he was like very cautious to find out if i was mad or something like” hi, how are you?'” then i was like” good, baby.” then he was like” really? ok. how come you don’t respond to my text?” then i was like” oh, i was busy, just finished.” the he was like” oh, ok.” when he said that, i can feel that he was release from whatever the reason or doubt he has when he called…

    then he was like telling me what has happened in the office, his boss gave him compliment, so i said” oh, i was realy proud of you.” he was like” thanks.” then i told him that i have been thinking about him all day. he was like” i thought about you too, but not all day, you know.” i said” ok.” the funnist part of the conversation is the end, he told me that the sticky rick snack i let him taste on sunday, it was really delicious, he loves it. so i was like” you really like it? ok, i will buy it for you.” then he was like” really, buy me the whole box?” i said” yeah.” he was really really happy….

    Jess, he is like a kid sometimes, loves to eat delicious snack. one day over, still thinking about it… when he heard that i am going to buy it for him, he was delighted… was your taurus like that? then i thought about the astrology thing, it was true for some part especially about their appetite, they love to eat and lazy… it is so true… hehehe.. just want to share, i thougt it is funny.

  409. #409 by saggi girl on September 15, 2009 - 3:57 pm

    oh, Jess, forgot to tell you that i am glad that your taurus is ok…cheers..

  410. #410 by Jess on September 15, 2009 - 4:44 pm

    Oh saggi girl,

    I can’t get enough talking about food and Taurus! Astrology really got it right! I agree with you when it’s about food or snack they are so much like a kid! they actually get excited about it. I was amazed when I first get to know mine to see how much he can eat! He must finish everything on the table even mine if i can’t finish it. It’s so funny his action when he gets to eat his favourite food, the way he makes noise and the way he describe about each dishes without caring if people is watching or laughing… Is your Taurus like this? Really they are so much into food! They are really all about sensual, anything to do with the 5 sense: look, taste, touch, smell, sound…

    Tomorrow my Taurus will be away for a 2 weeks trip to some islands with his friends. I’ll join them the last week for a few days. And I really get excited this time I don’t know why I just feel it’s gonna be different than other trips we had before. I’m trying and wishing to lose 1-2 kg in 2 weeks… LOL.

    About his health, I still make an appointment with a specialized doctor for him the first week of next month after we back from the trip. I’m not happy until we get final confirmation. It irritates me how he seems to take his health issue for granted and keep making joke (but i managed to keep it cool and pretend like I’m not so interested…) I don’t want him to smell too much caring and worry from me (when actually I was crying over this…hehe… women!)

  411. #411 by saggi girl on September 15, 2009 - 5:12 pm

    hi Jess,

    you crack me up when you mentioned that he even finished your plate. mine does exactly the same thing, oh god, they are so same…. mine even steals my food from my plate sometimes… you are not gonna believe, they are just like a kid, sometimes, i feel that i am his mother in some ways….

    one day, we went to the restaurant, we made 2 orders of the crab legs, when i got mine, he was telling me that i got more legs than him, can you believe it?

    then next time, when we order the same thing, he got the bigger portion, so i was joking that the he got more than i do, the he was like” no, you got the bigger portion last time already.” it was so so so funny..

    Jess, i am happy for your trip and enjoy the best of it… i am glad that you are taking good care of him and yourself, do not forget they are the kids…LOL

  412. #412 by Confused Libra on September 15, 2009 - 5:51 pm

    Hi Jess:

    You are perfectly fine and did not stir up more confusion. Oh, well, it’s already pretty confusing as it is anyway.

    I will tell you what. I know he will call or text when he wants to see me. But somehow, I’d like to see him in my own term like the normal courting and dating relationship. For some reason, I actually feel guilty asking him to go out with me because of his children situation so I end up compromise. I think courtship is about both people put into effort and you make a good point that I need to push and see how much he is willing to give in and how far he’d go to pursue me. I have a strong feeling that either he is not in a place that he is ready (though he claims he is emotionally ready, he is unsure if he has the emotional energy and can devote the sort of time into giving me the relationship I deserve and the one he thinks he wants) or he just doesn’t think I am the one. I also found it hard to believe that he’d continue to want to see me if he doesn’t think I have the potential. He was straightforward and asked how I’d deal with the children situation and if I enjoy being physically intimate. I think these are the two of his concerns. According to him, his ex rarely likes to have sex (yet, how did they get to have three children?) and when they did, she rolls away and does not like to be touched after. I know this Taurus enjoys to be touched very much and he touches me sensually. Every time he opens the door for me at his place, it always starts with a kiss and he takes my hand to walk me into the house. In fact, if i recall correctly, he takes my hand anywhere in the house. When we sat down to read to see photos, he’d touch my arm subtlety (so light and almost feels like an innocent touch, but I know it wasn’t after he repeats a few times). There were certainly tenderness and gentleness, perhaps romance in it. We had a discussion one day about difference of sex and love making and he concludes what we do is a mixture. Love making is delightful and sex is fun too. Well, still confused and I think i need to let my head cool off. Yet, I sent him a postcard just to let him know I thought of him just this morning and last week the children that I work with and I made some home made french bread and I sent him some as well. I think of him when he is not around and probably more than he thinks of me (I think he also said that too when he told me he misses me when I am not around)

    I know and understand how occupied he can become with work and with children. I have witness once that he almost lost a finger at work and that whole night his thought was occupied, he had two nightmares, that was also the night he didn’t want me to stay over after being intimate, he held me and he called right when I got home at 3am and we talked for about an hour).

    I don’t think it is love, as i tend to fall in love slowly but I certainly think there is something about this man that drawn me to him. I need help figuring it out. What is it that I see in him that makes me behave this way? that i can’t wait for his phone call. I know I can’t grasp him too tight or he will fly away, if i stand still, he’ll return when he is ready (that is, if i am the one)

    I think this board gives me the ability to vent and to clear my thoughts when I actually get to think about what others said and look into my own situation. Thanks everyone ๐Ÿ™‚

    Still pretty confused Libra

  413. #413 by Jess on September 16, 2009 - 11:46 am

    Confused Libra,

    Yes, we all want to have a say in the relationship. Well, I’m telling you dating this bull brought me to this site because I can’t find any logic left to explain the weird behavior and twisted pattern of how he handle ‘dating and relationship’ and I was so relieved I found you girls the bull fellow! LOL. I have to tell you almost 10 months with my Taurus so far, most of the time our meeting were on his term. I also learned that he expressed this kind of controlling force in other manners too. I don’t have problem and accept it ok because while he wants to have control on how much and how often for our contact, he always make sure we meet on my convenient time and place.

    There is this saying, that came across my mind keep me thinking about so much lately, that trust your instinct as it never failed you. From my experience when I get lost or confused I will not drop the subject nor moving all forward, I will just wait until i can get in touch with my inner again. When your brain and mind and heart and body all work together in harmony and peace you will see the wisdom and handle things best.

    Seems it’s a long ride ahead so let’s vent and share all we want here ๐Ÿ™‚

    Cheers!

  414. #414 by Confused Libra on September 16, 2009 - 6:08 pm

    Dear Jess:

    I totally agree with you that there is no sense or logic left in my dating relationship with him. I doubt a few times if we are dating as most of the time at his house (besides the several weeks that his children were out of town with relatives) It wasn’t that I am not comfortable being there, I just need to know that there is something else there. And physical intimacy is just a part of it. I feel that everytime we are at his place, we ended up having sex. I have no problem with that when we are in a steady relationship but so far i feel that I am pursuing him and he is just going along the ride.

    I would like to think that his children are very important to him and he certainly will not want to interrupt that. I have not asked him to go out on a week night yet but i’d like to know he is open to take me out elsewhere like a normal courtship. He did say that we’d go hiking or do other things together every other 2-3 weekends so he is not away from his children too much. I can totally understand that and I have no problem. Perhaps when we do get together, we need to stay in the living room (and how do i give him the subtle hint to keep the place clean?)

    Last night he called on his way home (boy, finally since we parted on Friday) and said he was thinking about watching a movie with me a few days ago but he fall asleep when the kids went to bed. He told me that he’d call when the children were in bed last night, guess what, that phone call never came. I was disappointed and I waited till 11pm and went to bed. When i woke up, I was much better. I think i was tired last night but the excitement of able to see him kept me up. I would have called him and left him an angry message if i were a few years younger. But I know it happens and it might just be another case that he falls asleep when the kids are in bed. Sigh

    Confused Libra

  415. #415 by saggi girl on September 16, 2009 - 6:49 pm

    hi confused libra,

    I went through some of the similar things with my taurus before, when they are preoccupied with certain things, or they got their plate full, they are not able to act in a normal way.. i guess his priority is his children right now, but that is understandable… he must be a good father and felt sorry for the kids because of the broken family…

    My taurus went through the same thing with me before, when his going through seperation with his wife and his job was not really making profit and his mom was sick in the hospital, he was acting like that. i was always feeling hurt that why it is always me to wait on him to call or check on me or like going in a circle. he streighted things out with me that he has no time or energy to think about something serious right now as he was not able to afford or ready to do that. so, 2 years of dating was such a long ride, right now, i felt better with our situation as i think he is more ready to do something he wants to do.. we were discussing last sunday in regard to his marriage, i was telling him that even though the marriage failed, she will be still close to his heart , right? then he said” yeah kind of, but got to move on.” then i was like” did you?” he was like” getting to,or i have already as we were a lot closer than before.” i never heard him saying something like this in this kind of tone, i am not saying he is ready for a relationship with me but i just felt little by little he is getting better. when a man felt good about themself, they will feel good about the surroundings, when they feel good about themselves, they will have the energy to deal with the extra..

    so, Libra, don’t be confused. i just do not think he is in a position to do anything serious with you. why don’t you work on yourself to see how you can fit into his current situation, show some understanding if you really want to be with him( really want to be), otherwise, it will be too much work for you, it will come back to haunt you again sooner or later…

    why don’t you try to be friend first? i do not think you need to offer too much sex now, this way you can protect yourself…

  416. #416 by Confused Libra on September 16, 2009 - 9:47 pm

    Dear Saggi girl:

    I am totally with you and I start to understand dating a single father (sort of, even though the wife is still in the picture and live very close by) isn’t easy. I do not have children myself but I have been working with children for the last 10 years. I understand and give great appreciations for single parents particularly. In fact, if a man can’t put his children and their needs first, it is a no brainier to me to not continue dating them. I don’t doubt that I am ready to date single fathers and in fact, he is everything I am looking for in a Life Time Partner. He is trying to do his best for his children and with the change going on at home. I think in a way he is trying to do as much work with the children now as possible so when his children’s mother finally moves away (which he anticipate in the next 6 months or so, she just started working about 4 months ago and should have her medical insurance through new company in about 2 months). He is not so much concerned about his youngest, but his two oldest girls, 7 and 8 have already suspect and asked questions about why their mother is no longer sleeping with their father. I know for the facts that he is trying to be even more involved in the children’s life (he was before according to him but is practicing to be a single father while his children’s mother is around). He honestly said once that he felt physically tired at the end of the day, in particular on the weekends and when the kids are in bed, he is drained physically.

    I am just venting and I have great respect to what he is doing for his children. I don’t mind to have to work around his schedule and I know he is doing his best. He is not ready for anything serious but he gave me a six months timeline to straight out his life. He said he had never thought about it because no one before me had given him something to think about (there was this one email we exchanged after our first date and he revealed he has children and an ex living in his guest house). It took him a whole week to respond that email and he said he was thinking a lot about that email and in particular to the question of whether he is ready/has the ability to devote the time, the emotional energy to give me the kind of relationship I deserve and the kind he wants. My gut feeling tells me that he is putting out all the test he can to find out if I am more than just a potential.

    I remember first time meeting his children’s mother out of surprise. He did not introduce neither one of us and went by doing his own thing (he got hurt at work that day too so was a bit preoccupied as well). I went ahead and introduced myself and invited her to have dinner with us (I had asked him before hand and in private if he is ok with the idea and would it be appropriate , he said he doubt she’ll join but fine with him). When we finally sat down for dinner. I told him it was rather uncomfortable as i did not expect to meet her so soon and unexpectedly. He commended that he thought I handled it quite well with class. Meeting his youngest who is 3 was a the same. I am not sure if he did this purposely or it was coincident but in general, I think i broke the stereotype of how most women would behave and react in this type of situation.

    I think one thing I am really concerned is that the children’s mother is always around when I am there. Either he is really over her or I am a show off to his ex. But it does feel like they are over. She’d stop what she was doing and say hi and go back to the phone (she’s on the phone with her new partner a lot). She has no problem that we cuddled up, watch tv or reading together, or even in his room alone so I suppose this is a good sign as well.

    Again, I am not saying what he is doing for his children is not right. I just have not came across anything like it before. He is the third person that I dated in my entire adulthood. My first last 2 years, my last went on 10 years and became my ex husband. I would not be stress out if i didn’t know he might be the one.

    And you are right, we wanted to start and take it slowly, but somewhat along the way we became intimate, I just don’t know how to take that back. Any tips? I want to know there is more than just SEX but it’s hard to do when we do meet, we are at his place (convience for sex) so I am confused if it is just for SEX or if there is more. He also commended that sometimes it’s a 60% sex with 40% mental attraction and sometimes there is 80% sex with 20% mental attraction. IT will be a long haul.

    Thanks again,
    Confused Libra

  417. #417 by Confused Libra on September 16, 2009 - 10:14 pm

    Saggi Girl:

    To be honest, i don’t think i was offering sex to him. I think it is mutual. He never forced me nor did I come up on him. Just a (sort of stupid too) question:

    What do I do if he initiates sex? since it has already happened, i don’t believe in withhelding it to get what I want is right and I think men have tendency to say or do what they think we women want to hear to get laid. As intelligent as we are all, it is still a million dollar question. What do you say or do to get to to not have sex with me volunteerly, doesn’t hurt him and his ego (particularly his ex partner has a different sexual orientation) and protect myself?

    I have a feeling we are going to be meeting at his place a lot if we plan on seeing each other at all. It took him a whole month to clear off his schedule to see me after a marathon style of phone conversation and email exchange. (also makes me wonder what does his children’s mother do with the children? I mean they have three children, I can understand he spends a lot of time with them, but what about her?) It was an parental instinct on how he reacted to his youngest in the middle of the night (though she was still awake and chatting away on the phone) he was the one that got up to get him, and he was the one that took care of him in the middle of the night (i witness because i was there). In a typical household, mothers take majority of parental responsibilities and in general, when the children cry, the mother will go and get the child (under the assumption both parents are not asleep yet and in their family situation. she was a stay home mother till recently). I work with children and study them if it matters, the only exception i have seem so far is that the mother and child do not have strong bond to start with and the father has a stronger bond with the child; therefore, the child prefer the father more so than the mother unless something triggers the child’s conscious.

    I need to do more observation on him and his children and also their relationship with their mother. He has mentioned more than several times that he feels guilty being away from them as well.

  418. #418 by saggi girl on September 16, 2009 - 11:10 pm

    hi Confused libra,

    i would be very honest with him about the sex issue. i mean i would say it straight forward that i felt complicated to have sex right now, we will do it when the time is right. like how my taurus told me to hold on it as he felt very complicated to do that with me… i think he will respect that unless you really want to do it…( no offense)

    as for children’s mother, i do not think it is your business to get involved or to point finger about what he should do or his wift was supposed to do. either you help or you do not. I am sure that there are so much stress going around your taurus, and i am sure that he knew that his wife was not doing her job enough as a mother. I guess he does not want to create the stress or confilct over who was supposed to take care of them or who should not. it will add more stress into their life, he felt sorry to those kid having to grow up in a broken family, he just wanted to do what he can for the kids to compensate. i think you need to help if you really care or want, otherwise, i do not think it is your position to judge or tell him that his wife was so wrong. i think as a human being, or as a husband or father, that is common sense, he knows it. so like i said: either help to reduce the stress or stay away do nothing…. sorry, does not mean to be harsh, but it is what it is…

    taurus man is family oritened , their priority is always family…. right now, his family is his children…

  419. #419 by Confused Libra on September 17, 2009 - 4:40 am

    Dear Saggi Girl:

    Thanks for the tip on the sex talk. I will make sure we have an open understanding on this one next time when we meet.

    As for the children’s mother and her relationship with mother, I am curious but don’t particularly care since it is non of my business. And you are right, I also feel he is trying to compensate to the children on the partially broken family and trying to spend a lot of time with them when he can.

    I am willing to help and want to help but I think it would be better if the request comes from him. Is there anything I can do to offer him or let him know that I’d like to walk beside him and help in anyway?

    Thanks.

  420. #420 by saggi girl on September 17, 2009 - 1:51 pm

    hi confused libra,

    i think you can just tell him that you are here for him and sorry that he has to go through all of this. if there is anything you can do for him, just let you know…

    i think he will appreciate it…

  421. #421 by Confused Libra on September 17, 2009 - 4:07 pm

    Dear Saggi Girl and Jess:

    My Taurus called last night after I went to bed around 10:30. I got his message about midnight and he sounded very stressed. On the phone, he said that he was very tired today because he didn’t go to bed till 1:30am the night before because his ex and him talked about following divorce and child custody, things regard to the future. I could not help to call him back and he does sound stressful. I made sure he was going to be awake for the next few minutes (we live only 10 minutes apart), drove to his place and gave him a good night kiss with a super big hug. Coincidentally, the card I sent him yesterday arrived today as well. In it, it said: I know I have never been where he is and that I have never walked his shoes, but I would like to walk beside him, and help however I can, always. As we were cuddling on the front porch and talking (he invited me in but I insisted that we stay out). Two of his children woke up, he went to attend to them and asked me to wait because he’d be more stressful if i left when I offered to leave so he can attend to them. I think it must had been over 30 minutes or so, he finally returned and then the youngest woke up again. I told him to go ahead focus on the children and get some good rest tonight and we’ll see each other again.

    I am so glad I was patience waiting for him to call. He has his plate full. I had no idea that he didn’t call the night before when he had promised and then had to deal with some harsh talk. It looks like they have the children’s schedule figured out. He is planning Thanksgiving and Christmas Trip and wondering where I’d be for both holidays. I already have a trip booked to go to Europe but could easily go to Illinois instead, he is going to be visiting his parents in the nearby state so driving up to visit for a day can be arranged if things continuing going well and also depends on if the children and I are being introduced to each other. I think I will make him a peach cobbler today to cheer him up.

  422. #422 by saggi girl on September 17, 2009 - 8:38 pm

    hi Confused libra,

    nice work. keep it up. Patience, patience are always the key to everything… and understand him and demand less when he has already gotten his plate full.. this way he will see you as someone can make him feel good. when he feels good, he will want to be with you more, more and more… then you will get what you wanted… eventually. Hopefully…LOL

  423. #423 by GemWoman on September 18, 2009 - 3:06 pm

    I am still reading these comments. I see so much of my T friend in these posts.

    I cant help but wonder if he will return. I havent heard from him in almost 2 weeks (phone) and a week (via email). I hope he goes on and leaves me alone because I cant take the dissappearing acts.

    I deleted him from my fb friends(couldnt stand to see him online and not be able to send an IM) I deleted him from Yahoo(Im on all day and he hasnt sent a msg either), I took his numbers out of my phone (thank goodness I didnt memorize them) and although I know his email addys I wont send him anything.

    That last email was my cue that he does have a temper and it caught me off guard because up until my email he had been the happy go lucky fun friend to have. Those horns were in full blast and it cut like a knife. I still shed a few tears (yeah ME) when I think about how his words of ‘reversing’ the friendship came through that email.

    He said he would never hurt my feelings but that did. I dont know if he fell back because he knows that it did or that he just doesnt care anymore.

    I wish you all the best of luck. I have googled other sites and hear the same things about them. It will be a tough ride ladies, but stay strong. They may be worth the wait. I just realized that I dont have it in me to feel that way all the time.

  424. #424 by Confused Libra on September 20, 2009 - 2:33 am

    Well, I am back with my updates with the taurus this last week.

    Tuesday he promised he’d call and we’d watch a movie after the kids are gone to bed. The call never came that night. The next night, I was in bed and the phone voicemail system alerted me that I have a new voicemail. I looked and it was him, curious of what he had to say and that he had a rough night talking to his children’s mother who is still living under the same roof with him and the children and that’s why he did not call on Tuesday night as promised. We saw each other on Wednesday and again on Thursday night. Both nights were cut short because his youngest woke up and wanting to be with him. I had no problem with that he had to attend to his child. But I feel that it is not respectful to his children of my presence without proper introduction. Thursday night while he was in the restroom, his youngest came in to his bed while i was in it, grabbed my pillow (fine with me, not even worth mentioning) and layed his body on top of both pillows, made eye contact with me and i smiled at him, rubbed his back for a second. Then the Taurus returned, took him back to his room and did not return for the rest of the night (I suppose he was too tired then). I ended up being in his bed not sleeping for the rest of the night. I finally got up and saw the same pile of laundry laying on the ground of the living room that I had seem last time when seeing him so I started folding them (Don’t know why, it was just natural for me, I dislike clutter, unorganized home, and hate being in a place that’s messy in which his home not only is messy, clutter, and very unorganized). I purposely left his children’s mother’s laundry on the side -unfolded with everything else neatly in its order. I am not oppose to help him with certain household chores but I am not mature enough to handle folding his ex’s underwear.I got home and started thinking about him and his children. His youngest always ended up in bed with him on the second half of the night between 1-2am and he always lets him (despite he does not like the idea of co sharing a bed with his child every night), when I am there, it is of course not appropriate for him to share a bed with us. I feel this is confusing for the child because some days he is allowed to share a bed with his father and some days (especially he had seem me twice before) he can’t be on the same bed with him. I’d like to talk to Taurus about my concern but don’t want to come off as I am giving him parental advice because it is not my business how he wants to raise his children (at this time). I met his children’s mother again on Thursday night when we were having wine and peach cobbler in which I had invited her to share with us. She made an unpleasant commend that there are so many of my dishes laying around in the house (well, there was one topper ware). Not sure what the deal is. I think now I need some down time to think all these over and that my taurus needs to figure out what’s going on with us. I don’t want him to take me for granted. It was two weeks ago that he said we’d do something outside the house every few weeks so I am just going to sit and wait for our next meeting—which I hope he’ll initiate and outside his house and i am going to take a backseat in all these for a couple of weeks and observe how he reacts and deal with this. I don’t mind doing things at his place with him but I also feel that he needs to at least show me that he is interested in knowing me outside physical activities we do together. Being at his home is just too convenience to have sex.

  425. #425 by emma on September 20, 2009 - 6:41 pm

    hey guys ๐Ÿ˜€

    i really enjoyed reading ure posts .. sounds so similar 2 my case !!

    i’ve been thinking .. why don’t u summarize those tips ??!!

    love it all !!

  426. #426 by Confused Libra on September 21, 2009 - 6:34 pm

    Well, these last few days, I think I am progressing with the Taurus. He called on Saturday night (which I missed the call) but didn’t leave a message. Sunday night, he called again and said that “I was thinking that we’d watch a movie together when the children are asleep” —If recall correctly, this is the way he asked me out at first place, there is no–would you, will you. Just plain and simple on how he feels we should do. I got there at 10pm, the children’s mother wasn’t there and the youngest has yet to sleep. He opened the door for me and I waited in living room reading till the child falls asleep a hour later. We started movie and had a great time with it, even though the children’s mother came home right before the child fall asleep and was kind of in and out the house doing some stuff. But the Taurus reassured me that there is nothing to be concerned and that the only relationship they have is coparents. It is not an open relationship that they have and they are not getting back together. We slept till around 4am and the youngest woke up, he was not able to put him back to sleep on his own bed (the child normally sleeps on the Taurus’ bed on the second half of the night) so I decided to get up and leave. He had him in his arms and managed to send me away to front door with a kiss. He also said that he’d take me out on Wednesday (and we will see).

  427. #427 by Confused Libra on September 23, 2009 - 1:50 pm

    Dear All:

    As confused as I am now, it gets more complicated. We had orgionally setup a date to go out tonight. He did not call or email or text to confirm any details. Last night, as I was unable to full asleep due to some work related stress, i gave him a ring. he was in the middle of finishing up work and told me he’d call back in 20-30 minute frame. He did call back, but an whole hour later because he had to take a shower and brush his teeh???
    To make the matter worse, he mentioned nothing about our date tonight so i asked him if he’d pick me up or he’d like to meet somewhere. Then it hits him, he said when he purpose Wednesday date night, he had forgotten that his mother was coming to town for a week visiting some friends and would stay with him on Wednesday and will stay at his brother’s on Thursday. My question is, I am already feeling that I am pursuing him and starts to resent the feeling. It seems like I am putting in more work than him and I am furstrated. I was really looking forward to seeing him tonight. Would this be an excuse that he might have something better to do tonight? I’d like to think not but given he had history not being honest with me (during our initial phone conversation stage), I have doubts althoguh our interaction has been ok so far (less than what I desired to be but I know i can’t rush this man). He did say we can go out either Thursday or Friday night and that he’ll call me today to firm it up.

    Help me please, I am sitting here and just wanna cry.

  428. #428 by GemWoman on September 23, 2009 - 10:04 pm

    @Confused Libra

    Your relationship is a wee bit too complex for me. Too much give give give on your part. So…….I only have this to say.

    โ€œNever allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their optionโ€

  429. #429 by Jess on September 26, 2009 - 2:56 pm

    Confused Libra,

    From what you described about your guy and his house sounds to me like he is lack of order and discipline and sound to me it keeps bothering you. You need to get this over with or get over him. Eventhough my motto when it’s about relationship is ‘compromise’ but that won’t happen until I’m committed. So at the early stage of getting to know each other, if you will take him you need to accept him for what he is now (and be prepared for a few more space when you both become comfortable and start to show a true colour…)

    However, I’m not telling you nor support anyone to put up with all the shit a man is going to throw at you.

    Do not listen to any of us here what we told you is good or bad about a person, you see and decide it for yourself if you can live with that.

    I tell you my Taurus NEVER called me… can you live with that? everybody told me that’s more than odd. I agree but i need to prove it for myself. You said about your Taurus didn’t call back or forgot his mother was coming? Tell me about it! After the 3rd date, my T suddenly told me he need to go upcountry tomorrow because his friend’s house got some leakage problem and he was the only one who got key… I was like WTF! because he NEVER mentioned anything at all about this friend or the damn house before!!! And suddenly he told me those shit like I got the background and he left tomorrow. Oh, except the first few dates, my Taurus make it late for the meeting almost every time…. but I accept it with no problem because I understand him and I saw that he always make sure that I have a nice and safe place to wait or I’m waiting at one of my friends’ place. My Taurus never invited me to his place (even he said I can come but I never asked and I’m not going to) everybody told me that’s red flag, and I agree but I need to prove it. While I never introduce him to any of my family or friends, only told a few best friends that he is a date not a bf. It’s 10 months so far and getting better. And I’m telling you he NEVER disappeared from me (yet). But if one day he choose to do, nothing I can do. And it doesn’t has to be Taurus to be all the disappearing shit. I had a bf who was head over heal with me, we almost get married but one day when he decided to be an ass… Boom! He just went and became the biggest asshole… I tried to do many things to get him back to be human… such a vain, nothing i can do also.

    Don’t stress yourself out, play it by ear and take it by the moment ok?

  430. #430 by Jess on September 26, 2009 - 3:07 pm

    This board is pretty quiet lately. How’s the ride everyone? Anything to share?

    I’m just back from mountain trip with friends and super tired. Instead of losing weight like i planned, I ended up putting 1 more kg… and got some rash on my face… and I’m going to join my Taurus his island trip on Friday.

    I try to keep a bit away from astrology because… Oh Boy I miss my guy! hate it this feeling!

  431. #431 by H on September 27, 2009 - 12:26 am

    Hi Jess,

    Its really funny, my taurus guy does the same thing too. Late for appointments but making sure I’m comfortable somewhere.

    To the others:

    I guess one way to keep yourself from going crazy with this guy is to understand and know that they do things reaaaaaaaalllllyyyy slllllooooowwwwlllyyyy.

    Actions and messages sink into thier minds so slowly, but I feel that it does eventually get to them (just observe his actions and you’ll see it). Its like.. throwing out a lead or message, don’t expect to get a reply or a reaction, they are thinking abt it! Sniffing the air, looking at signs and simply waiting for the right time.

    I really do think so, because it happened a few times.. and it took him a few days or weeks to react to it. To change for the better somehow. It also means that whatever you say, they remember and will action on it later (if your looking for some sort of change). Kinda scary really, because by then, when we have mentioned something and completely forgotten about it, they do remember the whole time, thinking about what to do.

    Say something negative about their character and you’ll surely get an immediate attention just because they don’t think they are like that, they just need time to think about it. Its an innate thing! Just like how some of us love shopping to the max, its the same theory. HAHAHA.

    Best part of it all, they can’t help it! On the positive side, since we know they can’t do things at a quicker pace, it probably means that they have to cater to their practical needs first (daunting issues) and will probably have no time to do other things, this might just yell *loyalty* doesn’t it?

    Old-fashion romance.
    ๐Ÿ™‚

  432. #432 by H on September 27, 2009 - 12:30 am

    One more thing, it is a fact that the longer the relationship or date (unofficial status) is, the better it gets. I don’t think they do fool around due to their practical side, or basically, too much things on hand.

    Oh, I’m an Aries Girl as well, this chap is teaching me a whole lot of practical lessons. Brings in a completely new perspective on things. I might not agree to it at first, but try to look at it from his perspective, you might learn something, I did and still am. I like what I’m learning, gives me a balance to my impulsive side. HAHA.

  433. #433 by Confused Libra on September 28, 2009 - 3:02 am

    It is very much a roller coaster ride. I spoke to him on Tuesday and he said he’d call back on Wednesday to let me know to go out on Thursday or Friday night. The call never came. Today, I called him let him know that I thought of him and that if he will make time to watch the moon with me tonight. I have not heard back from him. I also went out with a friend who is very concerned about my relationship with him and totally told me that he is not into me because he is a guy and speaking from a male perspective. I want to give him the benefit of the doubts and believe that he must have a really good reason not calling. I want to seek to understand him and then seek to be understood. My head hurts all day just by listening to my friend and then did some thinking myself. I know and understand life with three children can be demanding even on the weekends and I am not trying to take him away from his children. I am glad i have a place to vent (here) my frustration.

    Jess:
    I can live with him not calling if he wasn’t a calling type. He did say that he had never talked to someone on the phone so much before when we were on the phone stage and had not met yet. And he has a very old fashion phone that doesn’t even take photos that also tells me that he is not so much into phone communication. It takes him forever to response to a text message (if he ever responses) at work or when he is with his children as he is very devoted with his children and work when he is with both. I do not have problem helping him out with the household chores but i thought the request should come from him. I’ve done a little here and there with folding laundry and picking up a piece or trash here and there and put them in the garbage when I see them and wipe of the kitchen counter and made sure I clean after ourselves when we have a meal, snack, wine together, and to totally transform the place so it’s livable to my standard will take some time as the children will also need to be involved in this process. Yes, honestly speaking, his place bugs me and I am sure it bugs him too. I can’t never imagine someone living like that. I got to thinking today that he has a lot on his shoulder, with a divorce coming up, with three children (and I can clear see that he is a devoting father and committed to his children but i can’t say the same to his children’s mother–but seems like she is out of town or not home a lot for as long as I know him). It is not my business how their relationships with their children are and for what he has shown me non-verbally, I understand he’s got a lot of to go through, a lot of readjustment, and a handful of children, I am just hoping he is not depressed or stressed and willing to give him as much support as I can and as he needs. I consider myself a patience person. I only call because I truly miss him and want him to know that I was thinking about him. I don’t want him to feel that I must be mad at him now because he didn’t call me back when he said he would. I don’t want to assume he is just into me and not given us a fair chance. It’s hard but I am hanging on here.

  434. #434 by Lioness on September 28, 2009 - 3:18 pm

    Hello everyone,
    Man after reading all you guys stories I thought that I was the one going nuts and thought what the heck is wrong with me. My taurus guy and I have never dated. We happen to be neighbors when I first met him I talked to him for an hour or more just getting to know one another. I wasn’t really looking for anything at this point in time and here was an instant attraction I think he was glad to have finally met me as he was so nervous. I never talked to him again until a month later when I found him on myspace and I added him. Ever since then it has been a rollercoaster he would ask about my ex’s and stuff like that. I always had to be the one to message him very rarely did he ever write me. So I gave up on him and was tired of it being a one sided friendship. A month or two later he started to date this girl and he deleted me off of myspace. I asked him why and he said that he was dating someone now and that he was going to be taking some other friends off as well. So I quit talking to him except if I were to see him out I never heard from him either. A month or two goes by and I had heard a rumor about him so I messaged him on yahoo and later messaged me back and told me about the situation he acted so pissy. I told him that he was once my friend and he had responded well I never quit being your friend I am not going to have a bunch of girls on myspace and facebook when I am seeing someone. So I told him he didn’t have to change his life around for a girl. He said by having all those girls online when he is seeing someone causes alot of problems. So then I don’t hear from him and I message him 5 days later asking him how he is and such….. nothing no response at all. So I text him back the next day asked him if he was pissed at me and he said no, not at all says that I never talk to him so he doesn’t say anything. Then I write him a message kinda beating around the bush that I like him and he never writes back. So 4 days later I message him and tell him that I like him his response: I don’t know what to say I am flattered but not sure…. he goes on to tell me that he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings and he doesn’t want anything serious now. So I was gonna let him go after that then he precedes to ask me about how my nite went before… so we chatted it up about that. Then he starts to avoid me or something I don’t know I messaged him 10 days later asking him if he is pissed again and told him flat out if you don’t want to talk to me then I won’t even bother with you. So then of course I get sucked in again writes me back telling me that he has been so busy. Well come to find out this man had been watching me on yahoo in stealth mode. I couldn’t see him on but a mutual friend could see him on and say hey he was on all afternoon. I went invisible one time on him and looked like I signed off well he got off the same time. He would watch me out his window, listen to conversations, he even would bring women over and flaunt them in my face while staring at me the same time. I got so mad at him one time that I wrote him and asked him what the deal is with him not talking to me and told him flat out that I was trying to be his friend and it was too much for him. Well I saw that he went to the bar that nite and in the morning I got sucked in yet again this time he calls me honey and apologizing profusely…… never has called me that before I was astounded. He told me that he doesn’t check his email throughout the day because he was so busy and I was like yeah I know better than that. I wrote him a message asking him what he wants and then 7 hours later I get a message I am sorry but I am already with someone but I am glad to be your friend. This man sits at home all through the week when he gets home from work. I never see any girls coming in except for the one and she was there 3 times and hasn’t been back since. He told our mutual friend that he is moving in 6 months and he was talking to his ex-wife and trying to work it out for his child . He divorced 2 years ago because she cheated on him with his best friend. I don’t know what the hell he is thinking anymore I am beginning to think he doesn’t know what he wants. I wrote him a message 5 days ago and he was online…. Yeah he took me off of stealth mode for some reason and I told him that I was happy for him and that I was just trying to be his friend. He read it and signed off never responded at all. It was the night our mutual friend asked him y he was playing all these games and of course he denied everything wasn’t listening out windows, none of it! So I saw him in person the other day when I was taking out my trash and he was just staring at me and says Hello how are you doing and I am thinking how the hell do you think I am. But of course I was nice to him and asked him how he was. Now I haven’t seen him in 2 days and I haven’t heard from him in 5 days. I have no idea what to do about him any suggestions besides ignoring him???

  435. #435 by Lonelycancer on September 29, 2009 - 2:31 am

    Hi everyone, I’m upset i see no cancers in this, i feel like im the hopeless only cancer left in love and always after the same taurus for many many months now, on and off we’ve been together since june 2008. Recently we got back together, we don’t have a relationship gf/bf status, never have because he has always had a gf when we were off they were on, basically he loves her still and hasn’t gotten over her yet and doesnt think he can get into a relationship yet. well all the times we keep going back to eachother he’s still not ready… now it doesn’t matter i guess cause im moving out of the country. I wish i could just forget him but he’s the first guy i ever loved, and i still would like to spend time with him until i leave, considering we said i love you to eachother. of course i was first, but he said it back so he must mean it right? ha, well that im not sure of. I thought love meant one wanting the other to be as happy as the other is, and spend time together, and talk to each other. the only time i feel he really loves me is when we hook up, the way he looks at me, and the sing he says, always bring me back after him being a complete jerk. He doesnt call when he says he will, he doesn’t text back till hours later and when i call he bearly picks up and last time he didnt even call back, he just texted me…asking what was up?! that was the last of what i put up with. he couldn’t even call me back, so i flipped out on him, nicely. like always cause im always too nice to him, i been putting up with his bullshit for the longest time, i mean since JUNE 2008! he left me every time for her and i was still there waiting for him, when he ended up fighting with her. Ya now it just seems like im a tool, and he jus uses me when he needs me, well yeah maybe it is that way. But if so then why can’t i just let an ass like him go? after he didnt call back n texted me, i decided to be as much as a jerk as he is to me most of the time tho he “loves” me. i know this is super long, but please someone bear with me. anyways, so as i was saying i decided to just stop going after him, and getting so hurt all the time by waiting for him to show a little bit of care, he says he cares about me but he doesn’t show it very much like i said unless we are hooking up. when we are around friends its like as if we were just friends. so after that one night that i called n he didnt answer and texted me back, i said to him to him that i was sick of all his bullshit, sick enough to never talk to him again and be happy. i said this many times thinking to put a little more intrigue in him and make him regret treating me lk shit. but i always came back, so this time i decided to just ignore his texts and let him wonder. He texted me saying he thought i didnt want him to call back?? and i was lk why wouldn’t i? if i called then obviously i wanted to talk to you, i dnt call n text all day it was ONE call. and he said maybe if u werent acting like this i would’ve called u back, so thats when i said i was sick of his bullshit. n stopped texting him back, i turned my phone off for the first time n went to bed, i woke up turned it on scared of him probably bitching at me through texts but he just said, honestly i didnt call because i was doing coke (he sstarted this habit and i been trying to get him off it but its hard) so he said he didnt want to tell me cz he knew it would upset me and he said im srry im hooked on that shit i wish you could understand me, but you know deep down i care about you babe. and i still ignored it, that day went by i didnt txt back to that or call, because i just figured he made that shit up. lk other excuses he has given me, even tho i was feeling guilty of it maybe being true but i still tried my best n ignored him, thinking i deserve better (cz i do) n so another day came n we didnt text or call again, and i woke up the day after that n had 2 missed calls at 2am n a text saying i wish you would pick up but since u dnt fuck it. so i got mad that he had to say that so i said well sorry i was sleeping, i bet if i call back u wnt pick up so ya fuck it. and he didnt answer the text the whole day went by, then another day went by and that night he texted me at 4am saying i wish you wouldnt stop talking to me cause i miss u very much and no matter what i want u to be my friend, i just wish you would call. …….um i seriously didnt know how to react to all this, onlny times he would try to reach me where lk u can see in the early am, which obviously i was asleep. that night i knew i was gonna see him at our friends birthday. so after thinking it through all day on if i should or not text him back, cz the two times he tried reaching me were pathetic were they not? ..am times, and he said he wanted me to b his friend no matter what? wtf does that mean? so confused n still mad a bit, tho i was feeling guilty at the same time for not ever texting or callin back, anyways i was feeling the whole week in between guilt and rightness, i felt guilty at times cz i love him n maybe he was being honest, but then i felt lk i was doing right thing by ignoring him to show him to not fuck with me anymore n that i wasnt gonna put up with his bs anymore. anyways the party that night came, and as soon as i walked in and said hey to one of the ppl there i see him stand up n head straight outside, we didnt say a word to eachother, i was hoping after ignoring his text he’d have the balls to come up to me n try to talk n work things out but no instead i hear frm his friend sayin to another that he (myguy) was planning on hooking up with this girl at the party……….so what am i suppose to feel now? …….i should be even more pissed well at that point i was, we ignored eachother i just went home later on, and that was that, its been two days since then, we still hvnt spoken, i feel sad cz i miss him, i feel some guilt for never texting back but i usually do n its the first time i play hard to get to see if it changes anything, and then i wonder what he feels, i wonder if hes thinking whatever she doesnt give a shit she never texted back or fuck it shes moving anyways, see i’ll never know….and i know how he is, he’s not gonna text me or call ever again unless i do, and i miss him i want to cz i still love him despite all the shit he puts me through, n despite the fact that im moving i still want to b with him till then, i feel lk at least i deserve that after waiting on him for so long, but idk what im expecting for anyone whos reading to say anyways, i can’t say im hopeless cause i actually have hope he’ll wake up one day and realize what he let go….i was always afraid to b the one to walk away cz i knew he wasnt gonna come after me, he was jus gonna let me go just lk he did….but then i think he kind of didnt? since he texted me, n i was the one that didnt asnwer, but i feel lk he should’ve tried harder if he “loves me” lk he says… im sorry im probably not making any sence and now im just rambling my crazy thoughts, i seriously just dont know what to say or do about him anymore, and i know i should probably let it all go… but for some damn reason the love i have for him wont let me ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

  436. #436 by saggi girl on September 29, 2009 - 2:35 pm

    Lonelycancer,

    i do not really know your story but based on what you mentioned here, i think i would leave if he was trying to hook up with another girl and left me for his ex-girl friend a few times as i do not deserve to be a backup for love. my guy has not been offical status with me yet, the only reason that i am still hanging in there is because that i am sure that he did not see anyone else, he told me that he is not going to. this way makes me think that he respects me…..

  437. #437 by Lioness on September 29, 2009 - 3:06 pm

    Lonely Cancer,
    I totally understand what you are going through as I am kinda going through the same thing. I think you should leave your guy alone and let him think maybe talk to him one more time and tell him hey these are the things that I want. If he can’t give you what you want and keeps on running to someone else then you don’t need him anyhow. I was never in a relationship with my guy and I am just ignoring him now because he needs to decide what he wants.

  438. #438 by InloveCancer on September 29, 2009 - 11:31 pm

    Hi guys,

    I’m also a Cancerian girl. I’m suffering in an ocean of sorrow now just because I fell for this Taurus guy. I was so sad, but after reading all these comments, I start to laugh. So the problem wasn’t me, or the situation but it was all about the crazy Taurus guy. I start talking to this Taurus guy for 4 months. Like what you guys have shared. Before telling me that he liked me, he took good care of me. Everyday we talk, chat and text to each other. He even turned his wc for me when we are chating and please me for anything I want him to do. He helped me to study, called and wake me up every morning, texted me goodnite every single night. He was so sweet, friendly, smart. I started falling for him more and more everyday. But he seems never want any further. I don’t see any signal that he will ask me out.

    So one day, I asked him what he really thinks and what he wants for our relationship since I start treating me sweeter everyday, we talked like bf/gf. He called me honey and told me that he missed me alot. But guess wat? This is unbelievable. He said that he really cares and loves me but he is not sure if he want us to be together. He thinks that I deserve a better guy who can take good care of me. He thinks that I won’t be happy to be with him… And finally he confessed that he had 2 gfs before and they only last for 3-4 months. Both of the girls were really hurt. But he said that I’m very important to him because I’m the one that make him feel strongest. Still, he doesn’t want me to get hurt.

    OMG… I was so dissapointed. I asked him so what is everything we had for the whole time? He said he is not sure, but to him those were the most beautiful and happiest time for him. Well, aftet that conversation, I tried to cool down and later I talked very sweet and tried to convince him that everything gonna be fine, but he is not saying anything, he still think it’s better for me if I’m with someone else. The funny thing here is he asked me if he still can take care of me as he did? Talk and be with me like how we used to? I got so mad I said no. But after that I try to calm down again and be nice to him. These days, he is busy with his school so much, he start not text me me alot as before. He doesn’t call me at all. When he is online he talks to me but not alot. When he is no longer call to wake me up in the morning. He text me every morning and night before/after he go to bed.

    I don’t know. Before reading these comments from you guys. I though I would put my pride down abit to show him how much I love and want to be with him. Because he live 2 hours away from me, so I planed to surprise him by driving up there and hang out with him. I also bought him a little gift and I about to mail it out 2morrow. But now, I’m twisted. I don’t know if I should do all that for him or not? if he worth it? if he care and feel for me as much as I do to him?

    I’m a Cancerian girl. I’m very very sensitive and emotional. Things he has said and done hurt me alot. What should I do? I’ve never deal with this kind of man before. With the other guy, at least I can be so straight/play game. But with this one, I don’t know what to do. I just can’t explain why I fell so much for him. Anyone out there could give me advice? Especially for Cancerian like me? Thanks alot and good luck to you all.

  439. #439 by Lioness on September 30, 2009 - 1:27 am

    Inlove Cancer,
    your story is kinda like mine. My taurus guy if I should even call him that likes to play games also…. I felt like he couldn’t be straight with me and he just wanted to play games why I don’t know maybe for his ego, stringing me along and use me as a backpocket girl which I am not gonna do!! I am currently ignoring my taurus he says that he still wants to be my friend but I haven’t seen him in 3 days or he hasn’t messaged me in 11 days I wrote him 6 days ago he read it and never responded back… go figure so I am returning the favor to him and testing him also to see if he truly cares…. if not then he can be with his other sideline girls and whoever! I fell also for him and I don’t even know why it was some kind of connection I guess and I still think about him and get obsessed and I don’t know why…. I never used to do this before. If I were you just back away and see what happens…. Good luck!

  440. #440 by InloveCancer on September 30, 2009 - 2:49 am

    Thanks Lioness. I’ll wait and see what he is going to do next. Two days ago, I asked him if he miss me at all since he doesn’t pay much attention to me. And he said “I miss you alot. I’m sorry that I didn’t talk to you much. I’m getting crazy with all exams that I have to take this week. Give me 2 more days.” Datz wat he said, so I left him alone. I only text him back when he texted me. Tomorrow I will send him the gift. For some reason, right now I feel less mad at him because I realized that how all Taurus are. But only if we can find out what to do with him, then we’ll be fine, which I don’t know how. LOl…. But I’ll try everything, and I’ll tell you guys what works and what doesn’t. Seriously, this Taurus guys love sweet and desert, he loves chocoloate and cakes. He loves girl who know how to dress, how to cook. He loves music, enjoy going to nice restaurant, good wine and food. He loves nature. He is super shy, and barely talk to you first…. Well update with you guys about my Taurus guy later. Thanks for sharing

  441. #441 by Lioness on September 30, 2009 - 1:59 pm

    InloveCancer,
    I am happy for you I mean you gotta do what is best for you!! I think thats why I keep hanging on also because all Taurus men are like that. I came home from taking my son to school and my taurus was sitting in the parking lot he is supposed to be at work but he was just sitting there I pretended like I didn’t see him and walked on!! We’ll see what happens now it seems as soon as I came home he watched me to my door and then left… weird I think but I am gonna keep on ignoring him!! If he wants me he knows where to find me that is my logic on the matter… and please let me know what works!! Thanks

  442. #442 by InloveCancer on September 30, 2009 - 6:01 pm

    Dear Lioness and friends,

    Like I told you guys, I’ll be nice to him now and try not to mention about relationship status. He is still talking to me as bf/gf talk now, callin me baby. But I feel he doesn’t pay that much of attention for me like before. I wonder if itz because he is busy with his school work, or because I used to tell him not to take care of me anymore if he doesnt want anything with me. So I confused myself. BTW, about my plan with this Taurus guy, I think I will stay kool with him for now, and see how his reaction is. I will not bother him much, only text him back when he text me, and call him when he calls me. Then, I’m thinking of drive 2 hrs to his place to talk to him. I will tell him what I think and how I feel, I will reassure to him that I love him and want to be with him. I think I will spend a day hanging out, have fun, have a talk before I leave. Then I’ll tell him I’ll give him space to think about it. After that, I’ll ignore this guy. If he really loves me like he said, he’ll know where to find me, like Lioness said. But if I’m so unlucky, he will just leave me alone, then I guess this guy doesn’t deserve any of my time and love.

    However, do you guys think Taurus man is liar? and like to win girl’s heart?

  443. #443 by Confused Libra on September 30, 2009 - 6:21 pm

    Ok, at least something encouraging happened yesterday.

    I was at work, during down time, the phone rang. It was him, my mysterious Taurus man. Talked for a few minutes and apologized for not calling this whole last week because his mother was visiting, and then he has a cold, blah, blah, blah. I asked if he got my message and he said he’d be sure to check. Made the date with me for Saturday night and said for sure he has nothing going on and will make it happen regardless. I was with a male friend (just friends, he is going through divorce and I am giving him some emotional support) last night around 10pm, he called again and wondered if I’d watch a movie with him. Went to his place, of course the children’s mother was there and friendly, said hi. The youngest woke up 5-6 times during the night and he took care of him like always. He remembered to return a quarter to 7 to wake me up, cuddle with me, and kissed me goodbye before he wakes up the children for school.

    Still pretty confused. Sometimes i hear nothing from him and sometimes I’d hear from him more than once a day……somebody help

  444. #444 by ScorpioZeBest on September 30, 2009 - 6:47 pm

    dear all, if u could please listen to me and gimme some help!!
    i go to college, and this taurus guy came to my college as well last year. he came full of confidence and everything and lots of people started following him and adoring his attitude cuz he was like the ”bad boy” in college.
    being a scorpio ive also got a strong personality and everything so his attitude always made me annoyed, and i always wanted to find a reaosn to be rude to him.
    soon after a few months of college, we started getting into fights. and everyone knew us as the two that hated each other. we kept argueing with each other and swearing and it kept getting worse.

    than after a while, i started actually liking him, and i could tell he liked me too. cuz i always caught him looking at me in the corridors, and everytime he could find a way, he would brush past me or somehow touch me so i knew there was some sort of attraction.

    a month passed and he started being nice to me. we talked abit and i realised deep down hes a sensitve and caring guy. so we talked sometimes, once in a while but that was it.

    then there was 2 weeks left for the summer holidays so i was leaving to my country. i wanted to do something before i left so i got his number from a friend and i texted him. he called me and we talked for 5 mins and he told me to give him a txt whenever im free and that was that.

    after a few days, i gave him a text saying lets meet up. he was like with who and where? and i said alone. he txtd back saying that ok but lets keep it between ourselves and am i coming to ur house? i got abit annoyed there and said to him that i dont want to have sex with him and he got angry too telling me to calm down cuz i said i wanted to hang out. so we decided to meet up fri in a cafe, but he said he’ll let me know.

    thur came and he still hasnt let me know, so i called him on thur and asked him whats the deal? he said he’ll call me 2morrow (as in fri) and lemme know. fri came and he didnt call. i was so hurt. so i called him on fri asking him whats the deal? and he said it was bad timing and he couldnt make it. so i left it.

    then there one day left before i left to my country so i called him, but he was being so nice then. we talked on the fone for half an hour. he wished me a safe flight and said hopefully we can meet up when u come back. a few hours passed and i felt like telling him i like him, just to get it over with. so i txtd him saying i need to tell u something very important. he didnt txt back. i called twice he didnt pick up. so i left

    now two months ago i came back from my country and i added him on facebook so we can talk again. he accepted but he didnt send me a message. i dont know if i should or not!

    pleaasee helpp me! i really really reallyy love this guy. and i know he liked me too alot. but maybe what i did was wrong so he stopped liking me!
    shall i call him or txt him, or send him a message on fb??
    pleasee help!!
    is there any way i can win him back??

    and also to add news, he has a gf. but its his sex budddy. they only are together to have sex and he only calls her when he wants to do it. so i dont find her a problem (just extra info)

    thanks and sorry for the long message. i just had to let it out. and i want an experts answer on this! pleaasse!!

  445. #445 by Lioness on September 30, 2009 - 6:58 pm

    Hey guys,
    Well that is my logic right now is to distance myself to my taurus and give what he gives to me….. If he doesn’t come around anymore then I know that its his loss and that he didn’t care at all. I may message him in a few days and make him sweat a little and ask him if he’s doing ok other than that I am not going to talk to him unless he talks to me! Goodluck guys.

  446. #446 by ScorpioZeBest on September 30, 2009 - 7:02 pm

    thanks lioness!

    but do you think i should message him or call him after this long distance?
    do u think hes already forgotten about me? just ask how is he and everything?

  447. #447 by Lioness on September 30, 2009 - 9:44 pm

    ScorpioZeBest,
    From what I have been reading about Taurus they don’t forget easily. If he were my Taurus I would simply treat him how he treats you! If he doesn’t respond back then don’t respond back to him for awhile meaning a week or so and make him sweat it out and then drop a message on him and see whats up with him or whatever you feel like writing. From what I have read Taurus men hate being blown off they love the attention, and from what I have read from other posts and stuff when you act like you don’t give a shit about them they come a running after you because they love the chase. They don’t like it when you are always there I guess they need their space or something they like you to tell them that you like them but after that back off. So that is what I am doing I am backing way off like I said if my taurus wants me he knows where to find me and if he doesn’t then he wasn’t for me anyways! Goodluck guys!!

  448. #448 by Confused Libra on September 30, 2009 - 10:25 pm

    I am reading this book called ” Make up, dont’ break up”. It talks about distancer (mostly men) and pursuer(mostly women). The only one way to dance with them is to “Reconnect” but not pursue aggressively. Meaning it is ok to let them know that you like them, but just like tango, you have take steps back, let them think, and allow them to come to you. If they don’t, don’t make the assumption that they are not interested, they might just have more concerns that we are not aware of. Make attempts to reconnect so your distance doesn’t become greater and once you reconnect with them, step back and allow them to process the information on their own.

    I think I was practicing this before I read the book and it helps somewhat with my taurus. I did not hear from him for almost a week, but made an attempt to call him and leave him a message. I am sure he knew I called, but after that call on Sunday, i did nothing. I sat tight (though I was tearing myself apart for making that call) and just when i wasn’t expecting, he called and twice in a day.

    I will have to see how long it will take for him to call me again. I think it’s a game of patience.

  449. #449 by Lioness on October 1, 2009 - 12:37 am

    I hope it pays off in the end. I am beginning to think that my taurus is not interested. I have backed off I have went days without speaking to him and he can’t even message me or when I pretended like I didn’t see him today he couldn’t even get out of his vehicle to get me to talk to me. So I guess after all he really didn’t want to be my friend either. I feel so terrible and sad because I really liked him and I thought we connected right off but I guess it was all me. Good luck with your men guys!!

  450. #450 by Confused Libra on October 1, 2009 - 3:37 am

    Lioness:

    Why don’t you reach out to him? I think one of the key things here besides being patience and taking step back is to “reconnect” with him. That’s what this book was trying to say. It doesn’t hurt to say hi, and maybe he is just wondering how come you don’t reach out to him too?

    Tonight, i got a bit of a car problem on the way home. I texted my Taurus (tried calling but the reception was so poor so texted instead) and asked if he can help. He called back in 10 minutes and then again texted 20 minutes later telling me that he is sorry but he is home alone with the children. I could take it personal but I also understand it was dinner time and coming to help me meaning he has to get the children in the car and will interrupt their homework and dinner schedule. Plus, his two older children have not met me yet. it is safe to assume that he knows I can handle it. It’s a small crisis and no big deal. i eventually figured out that i should call roadside assistant. And before they could get there, a nice gentleman stopped to help change the tire so I don’t have to sit on the busy highway waiting for the roadside assistant. What I am trying to say is that there are certain expectations are not “Realistic” and could create difficulties. I am not sure how it will relate to your situation but you have nothing to lose by reaching out to him. When he doesn’t know what you needs or wants, it will be hard for him to do anything (or not do anything)

    Hope this helps.

    Confused Libra

  451. #451 by InloveCancer on October 1, 2009 - 5:33 am

    Lioness, I agree with Confused Libra. You should reach out for him sometime too. Here is what I think. We should be nice and kool to Taurus man, make him feel comfortable to be around us. But at the same time, we have to ignore them sometime, acting like we are busy and has alott going on. I mean, It just has to be push and pull. Today, I was so nice to my Taurus. Since he doesnt call to wake me up in the morning anymore after the conversation we had about our relationship, so I called n woke him up. I told him that itz still early so he can sleep alil bit more but he said he is awake and talk to me. Then I have to go to my class, he said he gonna call me back when he goes to school but he didn’t. Then later he leave me a msg on yahoo messenger saying that he left his phone at home.In the evening, I was busy with my homework so I didn’t chat with him, but I told him to wait for me cuz I’m studying.

    Since, Taurus is patient guy, he like to wait and take time. I think we should let him do that instead we wait for him. So from now on, I’ll tell him that I’ll call him back instead lettin him say that he gonna call me back. I’ll tell him to wait for me instead telling him I’ll wait for him. You know what I mean? Hopefullly it works

    Scorpio, you should try to text or call him and see how he react ๐Ÿ™‚

    And I asked a Taurus guy friend this question, and here is his response. Hope it helps.

    Me: if a Taurus guy starts acting distant to the girl he likes, what is on his mind?
    Tarus guy Answer Number 1: maybe he doesn’t like her anymore
    Tarus guy Answer Number 2: maybe be he wants her to notice him, by acting distant, as a test to see if she is into him or not
    Me: so how does da girl know which reason fr out of these 2?
    Taurus guy: pay more attention to him, talk to him more
    if he still keep a distant, that means he is not interested or trying to play games. But if he like you, and knows that you also into him. He will show. Sometime guys afraid to get turn down. So they don’t show their interest until they know the girl is feeling the same way.

  452. #452 by ScorpioZeBest on October 1, 2009 - 9:41 am

    in love with cancer and confused libra i also completely agree with you. i think we shouldnt all be so negative and think that our taurus guys or men dont like us anymore.
    since taurus dont like change, and they always like to feel safe and seure. maybe they are ignoring to see if you will come back to them. maybe they just want to see if we’re the right ones for them
    and by ignoring them, they might presume that we’re not that into them, and either forget about us or cheat on us.

    but ofcourse if we see tht they’re completely blanking us out for an extremly long time, then we just have to forget about them. theyre not worth our time either.
    ofcourse its hard, but life goes on. and there’s plenty of nice people out there just we dont know it, or dont want to see it.

    Lioness, i dont think your taurus guy doesn’t like you. i mean right now im judging from his point of view and from the way you acted it looked like ur not interested anymore either!! things are not really the way they always seem!
    so stopo sulking and message him and tell him that u miss him or u wanna see him or something. if he doesnt respond back lets say after a few days then yes u shud really forget him. but if he does, then he really does like you! u just need to work for it =] good luck

    & thanks alot everyone for the help!
    inlovecancer ill try that ”re-connect thing” ๐Ÿ˜€

  453. #453 by Lioness on October 1, 2009 - 3:48 pm

    Guys thanks for the advice!! My problem is that he told a mutual friend a week or so ago that he is getting back together with his ex-wife and moving in 6 months. He told me around the same time that he is with someone but yet I never see him with anyone so I don’t know what his deal is. I have told him flat out that I liked him and he told me he was flattered but not sure and he didn’t want to hurt my feelings and so on and when I tried again after he called me honey which he never did before I messaged him and asked him what he wanted he said he was sorry but he was already with someone and he was glad to be my friend. Well after he said that a person gets tired of being rejected and he obviously didn’t like me but still continues to stare at me when I run into him and he also has me on stealth mode still on yahoo and still is trying to listen out his windows when I am outside. So that is what has happened and that is why I am not sure on what to do anymore. I don’t want to come off looking needy and desperate to him because I am not. That is just why I have been distancing myself towards him and not messaging him, only speaking to him when he speaks to me and so on.

  454. #454 by EDD on October 1, 2009 - 4:06 pm

    Hi all,

    I’ve been reading these comments for a while, and it seems like everything said is characteristic to a Taurus Male. I’d like to share my story, and I’d love it if people would give me input or thoughts on what to do.

    I’ve been dating a Taurus male for about a month (Im an Aries female if anyone wants to know). We work together and started off as friends. In fact, at first I wanted nothing to do with him except be friends. We hung out almost every day, and he would do anything for me, although I had no interest besides being friends.

    At the constant pushing of co-workers, I decided that maybe I should give him a chance and look at him in a “boyfriend” sense. When I did, I developed feelings fast. He wasn’t like any other guy I’ve dated, he was sweet and genuine. The last date we went on (movies) he held my hand in public, through the movies and afterward, and even kissed me goodnight. Mind you, I’m used to a guy expecting sex after he takes me out on a date, so I was a little surprised that he was content with just giving me a goodnight peck.

    We continued to hang out, he was very chummy with my friends, and showed affection towards me in front of my friends and his also. It had been over a month when I decided that he did like me and it was okay to be intimate. We had sex and thats when it changed (of course). He went from contacting me everyday to almost disappearing, leaving me confused and hurt.

    I found out a few days later that he told a mutual friend that he just wanted to be my friend, but he wanted to talk to me about it (rare for most guys I’ve dated, I’m used to being screwed over and them leaving it at that, they usually don’t explain their doings). So he came over my apartment to hang out, and told me that he thought we rushed into things (I know Tauruses move slow) and he really still wants to be friends because he thinks I’m a cool chick. The way he said it almost made me think that he does like me, he just thought it was rushed. I told him I agree and that I do want to still hang out and be friends, I kind of made it seem like I didn’t care.

    So my approach will be to treat him as just a friend again, and act like I don’t care. *****But my question is, do Taurus males have a tendency to come back to you once they realize that you’ve moved on??******
    I still have strong feelings for him, and would definetely date him again (at his pace) if he came back. I just want to know if Taurus men are more likely to realize they really do want something once its gone?

    Sorry for the novel above, but I would really appreciate comments or advice, and thanks for reading!!!!!!!!

  455. #455 by saggi girl on October 1, 2009 - 4:07 pm

    hi Lioness,

    if he gave you the clear message that he is getting back with his ex-wife, i do not understand why you still imagine something solely based on his wierd action. I think Taurus guy is very straight forward, if he likes you, he will show you that he is interested, even though he is not in a stage of promising anything for the future, but he will show you that he is interested. mine does it. we communication regularly, we see each other regularly…. i think that is the basic. i won’t live in a dream that i blindly build just because that i guess that sometimes that he acts in a weired way that might show his interest when he sent me the clear message that he is going back to his ex-wife.

    sorry, i might not fully understand your situation, i might be too judgemental to speak up on this issue, but i was just trying to help. my taurus guy told me one time that he went out with a girl when he just got out of a relationship from his marriage, they went out like a few months, then he stopped as he said that he is not attactive to her but can be friend. so, when the girl calls him, he will answer briefly and talked like a friend. but at the same time, he admit that she is an attractive woman. so, i think your taurus might find you attactive, but it does not mean that he wants something with you especailly when he is working on his relationship with his ex–. as far as i know, taurus did not easily get over their past. he told me one time when i question why he is so slow for commitment, he said ” do you know that we are slow for a reason, as if we made a decision, it will be forever. it is very hard for us to change it later.” i guess that is what makes them slow to get over the past…

    sorry, if i said something offensive…

  456. #456 by InloveCancer on October 1, 2009 - 4:11 pm

    Scorpio,

    Wish you luck to reconnect with your Taurus guy. Tell us what happen, okay?

    Lioness,

    Your story is sad. I know how you feel. Well, I think that you really need to leave him alone now. Since he doesn’t know what he wants, and he only hurt your feeling. He might wants to get back to his ex, or if he is seeing someone new. So yea, just live your life, and if he wants you, he’ll do what he suppose to. About my Taurus guy, he is nice to me now, but I don’t know what he is thinks and wants, dat bothers me alot. Now, I try not to feel sad about it, or to push anything. I’m already tired with work and school, I don’t want to be depressed. So I’ll just wait, and I might come to see him in 2 weeks. After that, if he still doesn’t know what he wants, I’ll move on. U know, he is not the only one in the world. It just I accidently fell for this guy too much and itz really out of my control. Now I just do what I can. Love is 2 ways street, if he doesn’t feel the same way, I guess he’ll just lose what he has.

  457. #457 by Lioness on October 1, 2009 - 4:30 pm

    Thanks guys for the advice again guys!!! I wrote him a last message so if he doesn’t respond then I am not going to bother with him anymore. I just simply asked him what was up how was his day going and that I needed directions to somewhere so if he can’t write me back then he is a jerk and I don’t need him anyways! About the ex-wife thing he never actually told me about that he told our mutual friend and she told me. He only told me that he was already with someone but yet I never see him with anyone and he is home most of the time. His ex-wife cheated on him with his best friend a few years ago and they have been divorced now for 2+ years. I have read that tauruses don’t forgive cheaters at all even if there is a child involved. The thing that gets me and why I am so confused is because he told me awhile back his story and that they should have been divorced awhile ago and that she burned him pretty bad so why would a taurus go back if indeed that is true and he wasn’t trying to play games?

  458. #458 by EDD on October 1, 2009 - 5:33 pm

    Hi all,

    Iโ€™ve been reading these comments for a while, and it seems like everything said is characteristic to a Taurus Male. Iโ€™d like to share my story, and Iโ€™d love it if people would give me input or thoughts on what to do.

    Iโ€™ve been dating a Taurus male for about a month (Im an Aries female if anyone wants to know). We work together and started off as friends. In fact, at first I wanted nothing to do with him except be friends. We hung out almost every day, and he would do anything for me, although I had no interest besides being friends.

    At the constant pushing of co-workers, I decided that maybe I should give him a chance and look at him in a โ€œboyfriendโ€ sense. When I did, I developed feelings fast. He wasnโ€™t like any other guy Iโ€™ve dated, he was sweet and genuine. The last date we went on (movies) he held my hand in public, through the movies and afterward, and even kissed me goodnight. Mind you, Iโ€™m used to a guy expecting sex after he takes me out on a date, so I was a little surprised that he was content with just giving me a goodnight peck.

    We continued to hang out, he was very chummy with my friends, and showed affection towards me in front of my friends and his also. It had been over a month when I decided that he did like me and it was okay to be intimate. We had sex and thats when it changed (of course). He went from contacting me everyday to almost disappearing, leaving me confused and hurt.

    I found out a few days later that he told a mutual friend that he just wanted to be my friend, but he wanted to talk to me about it (rare for most guys Iโ€™ve dated, Iโ€™m used to being screwed over and them leaving it at that, they usually donโ€™t explain their doings). So he came over my apartment to hang out, and told me that he thought we rushed into things (I know Tauruses move slow) and he really still wants to be friends because he thinks Iโ€™m a cool chick. The way he said it almost made me think that he does like me, he just thought it was rushed. I told him I agree and that I do want to still hang out and be friends, I kind of made it seem like I didnโ€™t care.

    So my approach will be to treat him as just a friend again, and act like I donโ€™t care. *****But my question is, do Taurus males have a tendency to come back to you once they realize that youโ€™ve moved on??******
    I still have strong feelings for him, and would definetely date him again (at his pace) if he came back. I just want to know if Taurus men are more likely to realize they really do want something once its gone?

    Sorry for the novel above, but I would really appreciate comments or advice, and thanks for reading!!!!!!!!

  459. #459 by Lioness on October 1, 2009 - 6:00 pm

    EDD,
    I wish I had the answers for you as I would like to know also if Taurus men realize they want something once it is gone. I have read though that if a taurus man likes you and you have backed off and have kinda treated him like crap that he will come running and taurus men get what they want because they treat things that they like as possessions and they tend to get jealous easily also. I have also read that some tauruses will have a list of women friends and that is the key some of them are just friends others are potential partners that they want to get to know better. I wrote my taurus guy a bit ago and he actually wrote me back and gave me the directions that I needed I was shocked and suprised and even told me to print out a map on mapquest. Taurus men like to be manly so from what I understand you have to play kinda the damsel in distress and they come running to help. Hope this helps!!

  460. #460 by Lovely Scorpion on October 1, 2009 - 11:05 pm

    Lioness,

    I’m sorry you fell for that T man. My advice…run quickly! I too dated a T Man in a similar situation – his ex-wife cheated on him with his best friend. Girl run – he’s damaged! He gave it all to his ex and she humiliated him. He has unresolved issues that have nothing to do with you and he is not capable of having a relatinship because he has too many issues resulting from that affair. My T Man was sweet and so damn good to me. He was with me everyday as if he couldn’t live without me. He literaly smothered me, but I could sense that he was holding back emotionally. I ended the relationship because romanticaly, he wasn’t the man for me and I thought that we would remain friends. 2 years later and we are still in contact and trust me being his friend is stressful! Can you imagine what it would be like if I was still with him. He has never forgiven me for ending the relationship. And if he could just be honest about that we may be all right But he’s too self absorbed and too proud for that. He was not a good communicator when it came to conversations about our relationship, but he could talk about everything else and knew everything. In fact, he wouldn’t talk about us at all. I was suppose to live in that relationship day-by-day and come what may! Stick around, and you will feel his wrath. Although he’s quick to apologize – he doesn’t mean it. My brother is a Taurus and he has that same bitchass mentality. They (T Man) live in a private world with only themselvs in it – a weird since of reality. I realize now that the sweet man I met was a fraud and I can’t be his friend. Girl, chalk this one up and keep it movin!

  461. #461 by Lioness on October 1, 2009 - 11:18 pm

    Thanks Lovely Scorpion for the advice, I may have to do just that chalk it up and move on! I know how he feels though I was in his same exact position at one time in my life although I was never married to the man. I have been distancing myself away from him and I only talk to him when I have to because I am hoping that he sees the light but unfortunately he probably won’t .

  462. #462 by InloveCancer on October 2, 2009 - 12:50 am

    Lovely Scorpion,

    I totally agree everyword you said about Taurus man. Seriously, I think these guy are the weirdest and most selfish guy I’ve ever met in my life. They really have their own world and only themselves in there. They don’t care about you feel about what they have done to you. For example, they hurt you, they would just say I’m sorry but do nothing about it. They know you are waiting for them, they’ll let you wait endlessly. They can talk about anything everything but not about the relationship between you and them.

    Today, I texted my T-man very long message. I told him that he can’t just throw me to another guy and think I’ll be happier that way. And I’ll give him sometime so he can make up his mind and make the decision about us. Well, he was nice enough texted me back and tell me that he got my msg, give him sometime and he will tell me later. I don’t know how long that later gonna be. Well,, I thought I would give him a chance to think but this guy really got on my nerve. I texted him when I got home, and asked wat he is doing. He didnt answer me back, I thought he was sleeping. When I got on yahoo MSG I didn’t see him online, I check the detector realized he is on invisible mode. I called his phone, he didn’t pick up, that’s not so strange about this T-man, we all know about it. He didn’t talk to me online at all, then 5 mins later, I check detector again he went offline. I know he is not sleeping anymore if he did went to sleep. However, he doesn’t respect me and my feeling.

    I really want to give us a try. I really want to be with him. But guess wat? I don’t think this guy deserve what I’m trying to do. While I’m waiting for him, he might talks to some other girls or do watever. Now he is just online, and guess wat? he said he just got up, I’m tired… Girls… I really don’t know why I’m so unlucky fallin for this type of man. No Man ever done this to me before, if they don’t like me they don’t. If they lie to me, I can tell. But only for Tman I can’t tell nothing… I’m so tired to figure it out… Now he can have all days and nights to live in his world. Ima go away from him.

  463. #463 by Lovely Scorpion on October 2, 2009 - 2:16 am

    Lioness,

    You’re right – he will never see the light. I know it’s hard to let go, but seriously, what reason do you have to hang on? It’s making you miserable.

    InLoveCancer,

    You got the picture and it sounds like you’re sick of his games. Let him enjoy his relationship with his computer.

  464. #464 by Lioness on October 2, 2009 - 2:51 am

    InLoveCancer,
    My Taurus guy is doing the same thing to me also he puts me in stealth mode on yahoo and he watches me online but I can’t see him but he didn’t put our mutual friend in stealth mode so while he would tell me he was so busy at work and not having time to check his messages all the time I knew better and almost called him on it once but I was like whatever! He even signed off as soon as I went invisible on him and our friend saw him go off as soon as I would do that. I would be on late at nite on yahoo and his place is right next to mine and I could see the lights go off in his place as soon as I would sign off also…. I truly don’t get why he does this but maybe your guy is doing the same thing? My guy even watches me out his window and opens up his window when I am outside and listens to me outside! Go figure but yet he tells me he is with someone and he tells our friend he is getting back with his ex and moving in 6 mos ( even though on his facebook page he is meeting with other women). So I don’t understand why they are so sneaky especially if they just want you as their “friend” and don’t want anything to do with you. My taurus stares at me whenever I see him he always says hi to me and today he even gave me the directions I needed within 30 min this is the first time he has messaged me back in like 11 or 12 days. I am just taking the steps back like I said he can admire me from afar and I speak to him when I have to and when it is necessary. Just like Lovely Scorpion said, he can enjoy the company of his computer and the other women that he has lined up!!

  465. #465 by EDD on October 2, 2009 - 4:40 am

    Lioness,

    Thank you for the advice! I am going to act platonic towards him, although I still have strong feelings. I have a feeling this will not be the end of our situation because I still do feel that he has feelings, but is terrified of jumping into something fast, as all Taurus men seem to fear. If he comes back, he does, and I’ll be willing to take it at his own pace. If he doesn’t I guess I’m just happy we can remain friends.

  466. #466 by ScorpioZeBest on October 2, 2009 - 10:28 am

    dear all,
    from all these comments ive been reading ive realised that taurus men are all exactly the same.
    if he doesnt show us any kind of attention then theyre just not that into us.
    BUT i know one thing about taurus men is that they dont like rushing into a relationshIP.
    my friend is also dating a tarus guy but they used to hook for a year before they actually started dating. so maybe u should give ur guys the time to realise ur the one for him. be patient and try ALL thats in ur power.
    but if u still see its not going anywhere then screw it.
    he doesnt deserve u.
    sorry i didnt give much advice hadnt had time to be on as its my weekend and im out most of the time.
    but u girls should do it to. distract urselfs. give it time

    im going to message my taurus on fb after 3months of not talking. lets see how it goes.

    ill read all ur posts and try to give my best advice to all.
    all the best to u! be strong. we’re all on this together

  467. #467 by InloveCancer on October 2, 2009 - 1:18 pm

    Thanks, ScorpioZeBest. Goodluck 2 you 2.

  468. #468 by Lioness on October 2, 2009 - 2:06 pm

    thanks guys for all the updates and advice!!
    I think I am giving up on my taurus guy he doesn’t seem to be interested that is for sure and he stated awhile ago that he just wanted to be friends. I saw that when I was taking my child to school this morning that he was gone so that means that he didn’t come home all night and I am tired of being second best to him. I still don’t understand why he does the things that he does such as keeping me in stealth mode on yahoo and listening out his windows and doing all that stuff. In Love Cancer. where do you find the detector at for the yahoo messenger at?? So I mean there is nothing else that I can do I figure that if he wanted to talk to me he would message me and he never does unless I message him first and then sometimes he still doesn’t respond. Goodluck guys with your men!!

  469. #469 by InloveCancer on October 2, 2009 - 5:16 pm

    Lioness, and friends

    I’m so sorry for you Lioness. Sooner or later I’ll give up on mine too. And like the other girls said, it’s gonna be the last Taurus man I ever deal with. Everynow and then, if I see a Taurus man, I would run as fast and far as I can. Honestly speaking, they are someone nice to be friends with, because they like to take care of you, they are charming, nice and someone that we can talk to. But really, this man is not the one that you can take any serious relationship, because you’ll easily get hurt. After all the sweetie words he said, things he done, all the kisses n hugs he gives you, he can just say “I’m not sure if I want a serious relatopship” or “It’s better if we’re friends”, or he’ll make you wait endlessly. I can wait if I know what is on his mind, I can’t just sit here and guess what he is thinking. By the time he figure it out, I might just wasted half of my life…

    But at this moment, I sure want to see what he meant by telling me to wait, and he gonna tell me later. That’s what keeps me hanging on.

  470. #470 by InloveCancer on October 2, 2009 - 5:17 pm

    BTW, this is the yahoo detector where you can just type his yahoo ID down, enter, and it will tell you if he is online/offline/invisible

    http://www.ydetector.com/

  471. #471 by ScorpioZeBest on October 2, 2009 - 5:46 pm

    Dear lioness,

    if your Taurus man wants to go back with his ex-wife but he still looks at you and talks to you and all that. I think the problem is that he doesnโ€™t really love u, but he doesnโ€™t want to lose you either. He likes the fact that your going to be there. Im sure he does have a strong attraction to you, but not so strong so that he will actually get into a serious relationship with you. Maybe heโ€™s going back to his ex because Taurus guys donโ€™t like change. But if u could change his mind and work it out somehow that would be well. But I doubt you should do that. Honestly he brings you nothing but unhappiness and I donโ€™t think u deserve that. He sees that ur always there for him. Donโ€™t be too easy. Cuz as soon as he realizes uโ€™ll move on with your life, heโ€™ll keep coming to u. I noticed that about taurus guys (from friends) and im sure its true. So maybe u could even hook up with another guy, let him see that u donโ€™t depend on him. Then heโ€™ll realize what hes missing.
    But seriously im sorry for my language but hes a proper dick head. He can go screw himself and his ex-wife. Shes not gonna do him any good, and once he realizes that and comes back to you, just send him packing. You donโ€™t need him. Your strong u can handle it. Ofcourse its going to be hard, but come on he brings u nothing but depression and he hurts your heart. So leave it, if you can.

    Inlove cancer,
    your taurus guy sometimes shows he cares, sometimes doesnโ€™t. he texts whenever he feels like it and does whatever he wants. It cant work that way. Who is he to treat you like that? Just wait for his answer and see how it goes, hopefully itโ€™ll be positive. If he says yes and he agrees then i think you should keep him as u want him. but Youโ€™ll have to make him feel comfortable around u cuz Taurus guys like to feel safe and well. Youโ€™ll also have to show him that he wont be able to live without u. do something that once heโ€™s alone heโ€™ll realize he needs you. But donโ€™t always be there. When your with him be extra nice and sweet and u kno ๐Ÿ˜‰ but donโ€™t always text and call. like for example make sure u’ll always be the one to tell him something like ”ok ill call u at night or ill message u tomorrow. (LET HIM WAIT FOR YOU NOT YOU FOR HIM) and donโ€™t always call. Let him wonder. Let him see whats hes missing. And when you DO talk to him be extra nice again. then dont keep in touch with him again. Drive him crazy! Confuse him โ€“ he deserves it. And later when hes finally gonna be attached to you, relax cuz he wont let go of u anymore. Itโ€™ll be forever! If thatโ€™s wht u want ๐Ÿ™‚
    and if the answer is negative then its his loss for losign such an amazing girl like you!
    Good luck to all!!

  472. #472 by Lioness on October 2, 2009 - 7:35 pm

    Thanks ScorpioZeBest and InLoveCancer,
    I know that my taurus doesn’t love me I am not in love with him I have an attraction towards him and I have feelings and I like him but I don’t Love him that is an awful strong word. I have never slept with him nor kissed him he won’t even let it get that far and I don’t understand why he was so afraid of hurting my feelings. I am a big girl I can handle myself. He knew about my past relationship and how horrible it was I don’t know if he thinks that I am not ready or if I am using him as a rebound or whatever but I am not I sincerely like him. But I cannot stand what he is doing my last relationship was a pisces man he was an alcoholic and we have a child together I was with him for about 6 years about a little over a year ago he committed suicide my pisces guy had cheated on me with other women but I stayed with him and worked it out for our child and when I met my taurus man I told him about it and he was so sympathetic about my situation he had also told me about his ex-wife and his situation and how they were so similar and I told him I wasn’t looking for a relationship at that time. I was stuck in the past for a really long time until I was developing feelings for my taurus guy more and more and was watching him with other flings that he would have and they wouldn’t last. The longest that lasted was 2 months. I finally got the courage to let him know that I liked him and I wrote him that message and things just got weird but he still stares at me their is still that connection there when I see him at least I feel it anyways. I have no idea why a man would open up his windows and try to listen to me outside and watch me out his windows and put me in stealth mode if he did not care and even went to the extreme to bring a woman over to make me jealous. The games he plays! I am really tired of the games and am sick of the nonsense and I know that him and the ex are not going to work out because I was in the same boat as him at one time it will never work. But on the other hand, I am grateful to him for meeting him to help me move on from the past because I could still be sitting in my place thinking about the past and not wanting to put myself out there at all. I think that we should just focus on ourselves for awhile and let those taurus men come to us they have our panties in a twist for sure!!!

  473. #473 by InloveCancer on October 3, 2009 - 4:12 am

    ScorpioZaBest,

    Thanks alot for ur advices. I think you are right. The best way to deal with Taurus is to play the game he likes to play. If he can tell you that he cares and love you then the next min he ignore you and doesn’t show his interest, we can do the same thing.

    Today, he suppose to call and wake me up but he didn’t. At noon, he texted and said that he was overslept, and he said sorry. I didn’t text or call him at all before that. I texted back then tell him itz okay. Then I did wat you told me, I texted and told him that I’ll talk to him later when I’m off work. Before I get off, he texted and said he received my gift that he likes it alot. I guess he was happy receiving it, who doesn’t? So I ignored his text. Instead to call him after work, I waited another 2 hours, and I texted him. Well, he didn’t call or get online to chat 2nite. He said there is a party at his house, and he needs to help around.

    Well, he can always call me, but I couldn’t find a reason why he never call me after that serious conversation we had about our relationship. He only calls in the morning to wake me up, or when I call to wake him up. He would NEVER NEVER NEVER call me during the day animore like he used to do before. I couldn’t find the asnwer for this. This is the most weirdest thing about Taurus man. Is he shy? scared? or wat? There are couple time I called him after that conversation, he didn’t pick up the phone. And after that, he usualy text me back or chat with me online and tells me that he was busy/sleeping earlier. Why didn’t he call me and tell me that? I really want to ask him straight. But you know why I didn’t ask right? He suppose to help me with my exam review, cuz he is super good at it, and that how we started talking to each other. But he doesn’t remember that I have the exam 2morrow. Because if he does, he would tell me to wait for him, or ask me if I’m studying.

    I never seen any guy like that unless they don’t like you. So he is alot different. U know what makes me sad the most? At first, I fell for him foreal. I remember my heart beats so so hard the first time, when he told me he likes me… Everyday I look at his picture and think about him like an angel, like a prince… I even daydream about when we are together. He was like an angel to me. Everything he did was so cute. But now, these feeling I had for him are totaly different. Itz more like I want to win over him… I don’t miss and think of him the way I used to anymore… I can’t explain it, but I know it’s different now.

    If he can be honest and brave enough to tell me what made him become like that, I would stop all these and be honest to him. I will call him when I want to call, text him when I think of him, and do everything for him from the bottom of my heart. But everything I’m doing for him now is more like I’m testing him or to win over him. I feel really sad… I wish I can tell him that.

    I think whenever I decide to let go, I’ll tell him the whole thing that I go through. Then from there, I’ll drop everything off. I’m still thinking about to drive more than 2 hours to see him… I think when I drive over and see him, itz when I truly let him go. But I still don’t know if I should do that or not? I know he will come over on Thanksgiving or whenever he is off from school. Cuz he is working toward doctor degree, I know he is very busy, so he can’t drive over to see me now. So, can you guys tell me if I should drive over to see him? I don’t want to be like so into him or watever. I can’t just deal with him over the phone or text. Well, if he is here, I guess the story would be easier for me. But because I can’t see him, I can’t talk to him face to face, I wouldn’t know what he is really thinking. Please advice me what I should do about it… Thanks alot. I hope u guys have a nice weekend. No matter wat, I think it’s my blessing gettin to know you guys here… I can’t believe we can even find friends this way… lolz

  474. #474 by Lioness on October 3, 2009 - 4:51 am

    InloveCancer,
    You have to do what is in your heart sweetie!! If you think that it is best for you to go over and talk to him face to face then by all means go over there and do it It might do him good to hear what is on your mind anyways men in general are plain dumb and they have to be told something to figure it out so lay it out there for him and see what he says if he doesn’t like what you have to say then you know where you stand or if he starts acting distant again then you know he is thinking and he is scared that is from what I hear the taurus motto! I just found out that my taurus guy is just a straight up player or something I don’t know he told our mutual friend that he is going back to his ex-wife and moving in 6 months and he is probably there now with her!! Plus he left last nite sometime because he wasn’t home at all today and he is talking to his ex-fling who is a coke addict and he said he was through with her! He doesn’t bring any women over here and he has been honest to my friend about his women (he knows that her and I talk all the time and we are really close) and he has told me about how he was with women before so I am just sick of it! I have no idea what his game is with me why he does the things he does esp. like listening out his windows and watching me out them and putting me on stealth mode like I want to talk to him anyways right now!If he didn’t want to talk to me then just say hey I don’t want to talk!!! I have asked him in the past if he didn’t want to talk to me then I was going to part ways with him and he wouldn’t let me walk away… I don’t get that part why all the crazy non-sense? He has his ex-wife and ex-fling already lined up why in the world is he keeping me around for in case it doesn’t work out with either of them?? Because I don’t have a clue anymore… I did get that detector InLoveCancer that is a pretty useful tool!!! I can be supersleuth now..:)

  475. #475 by Virgo sun - Scorpio rising on October 3, 2009 - 12:38 pm

    Hi guys,
    I’ve been following your posts for quite some time and at the same time have also been studying 2 Taurus men up close and personal for 2 1/2 years, both as friends, at work and more…. just wanted to give some input that might help in dealing with and understanding them.

    Once upon a time… lol, I remember when I was a little girl, I had a book that had the ABC’s in it and an animal associate with each letter and a little history with each one, the letter U of course was Unicorn which isn’t so interesting as it reminded me of something it said…… the unicorn ‘historicaly’ is asumed to have been the ‘ox’ or ‘bull’ veiwed from the side in which it would apear to have ‘one’ horn. I researched a few months back sure enough, my memory proved right. So under the assumtion that ‘Taurus’ the bull was the ‘original’ Unicorn, I went in search of what I could find……

    The western image of the Unicorn came from the bible, lol, in the translation from Hebrew into greek the work for ‘wild ox’ got translated into a word aproximating a ‘one horned horse’… anyway here some things I fond interesting and in veiw of the above apply very well to the Taurus creature lol……

    1. They are ‘generally’ shy, gentle, docile and non agressive.
    2. It prefers UNCONFINED spaces for its home, where it can live peacefully away from the negativity they abhor.
    3. They live in small family groups of four or five, an elder, a couple and young…
    4. They mate for life after searching for the one and the will do battle to the death with others for her….
    5. Although there is no general concensus on what they eat it is noted that they are extremely picky and fond of WHAT they eat lol!
    6.

  476. #476 by Virgo sun - Scorpio rising on October 3, 2009 - 1:05 pm

    oops hit the wrong button….will continue….

    6. They mature around 30- 40 years of age for picking a mate….
    7. They take an infinite amount of time to search for their mate! Time is no objective lol.
    8. Those it alows to itself obtain ‘eternal happiness’, eternal being subjective I suppose lol.
    9. They can be EXTREMELY feirce, deadly, elusive and dangerous when hunted, tracked by or for any means of aquisition, they use all of their ‘otherworldy’ senses and tricks to elude capture for they are the last truely ‘wild’ creature myth or perhaps not…….
    10. And last of all TO CATCH A UNICORN…..
    well they say you must be pure in mind, heart, body and spirit…you must be its equal…. hence the myth that the Unicorn will only allow a virgin (virgo? lol) to tame it…

    I believe that the Taurus man is the original wild beast, with all its keen senses, intuition, and sense of self preservation. They will avoid negativity at all cost unless their mate is up to their standards to fight for. They want to live peacefully with a family and are perhaps the one last ‘male type’ to believe in and search for true love, leaving many hostile, agressive and dangerous ones who haven’t found their ideal (beware!). Of course they have no sense of time only that which they ‘sense’ is right wether in search of a mate or the ‘perfect pasture’ lol. Chase them at your own risk, as many of us have found out first hand!, cage them over your dead body, but let them come to you after they determine they can trust you and I think we all know the happy bliss they can bring…. They are not selfish so much as self preserving, they play no games but mearly elusive as is their instinct for survival of their ‘purity’ both of belief and intention……
    Of the two Taurus men I observed, one was bitter, not believing in his own inner beauty, lost twisted and selfish beyond repair, the other caged and unhappy, still bears the optimism and hope, he still searches for his ideal, and treating him as I have observed I’ve watched him learn to trust and though not perfect by any means, his heart is the most beautiful I have ever experienced in any man. I hope this helps if only for a few ironic observations…
    Peace and good luck!

  477. #477 by InloveCancer on October 3, 2009 - 1:35 pm

    Thanks alot for your information, Virgo Sun. Yes, Time and being patient is all about Taurus… And dat’s why it is so annoying. ๐Ÿ™‚

  478. #478 by Lioness on October 3, 2009 - 2:43 pm

    Virgo Sun,
    Thanks for the informatation but I have to say I have encountered a few tauruses that do like to play mind games! Being patient is the key I can do patient if I know that I am going to be getting the man in the end!

  479. #479 by Confused Libra on October 3, 2009 - 4:03 pm

    Is he just not into me?

    I am totally confused. We were going to moon watch tonight and last night, he told me that he had to cancel because a friend is coming to stay with them for the entire weekend and he asked if we can moon watch on Monday instead. This is the third time that he cancels on me and I think I know the difference between patience and being trapped. Unfortunately, I am on the later. I told him I miss him last night, he hugged me with silence. I cried all night and have no idea what I am going to do. He is not calling, he is not texting, he is not emailing, he only calls when he wants to see me and takes forever to return my text if he ever returns. I think even the slowest moving person would have got the idea.

  480. #480 by InloveCancer on October 3, 2009 - 7:11 pm

    Confused Libra,

    I hate when ppl cancel on me many times. Most of the time, when I cancel on someone, either there is something extremely, or I don’t really want to be with them. So you might think about it too. Well, my Taurus man is not here. He didn’t cancel on me… When we just got to know each other, I alway cancel on him… lolz… He told me once that he cancel all the other friends to go with me, and by the end I cancelled him. Oh well…

    For updating, my Taurus man is still texting me. Today, he picked up the phone when I called and tell me that he is driving his mom somewhere. Last night he really forgot about my exam and that he promised to help me reviewing. That made me really sad… Because if you really love someone, you’ll remember all that things… He didn’t ask me what I was doing the whole night. I think this is not about patient. He doesn’t really love me like he said. Tonight, after my exam, I will ask him… Girls, if I can be straight to other guys, I will do the same to this guy. Not because he is Taurus so I have to be patient with him. I’ll treat him just the same way I treat others. If what I do bothers him, Fine, he can get out of my life, don’t sit there and tell me that I’m important to him, that he miss and love me, but he doesn’t do anything to show me it. I’m going to ask him straight. May be after this conversation, he will ignore and hide away for awhile… or change his attitude, but itz better I have to confused myself…

  481. #481 by ScorpioZeBest on October 4, 2009 - 11:32 am

    confused lirba,
    my advice to u is going to be just do the exact same thing hes doing. let him walk in your shoes for once. call him and text him and be like i wanna meey up on thur bla bla, and then when thursday comes dont call or say anything about it. at first he might not even bother but after a while when u keep doing that hes going to wonder what the hell is happening so hes going to ask you why u cancel and stuff. just be casual about it, be like sorry i didnt notice or i had other plans or i forgot, if u wanted to see me badly u can call yourself or plan it. that might wake him up. but if he still keeps on ignoring u, honestly is there a point? hes not worth your time. i know its easy to say to forget about somone than actually to do it. but hey,we can all manage it. it just needs time. my sister was in love with a man for 4years and they never talked or anything. but this year when they finally did talk he finally told her he always loved her too she stopped loving him, just like that. cuz she realised he wasnt a nice person and he was exrtremely selfish. so she forgot about it.
    so dont worry. you will too.

    in love cancer,
    its really good that ur taurus guy is not ignoring your calls or anything ๐Ÿ™‚ but remember i told u not to always give him attention, and when u tell him u’ll call dont always call back or text.
    hmm i dunno. i mean yea its true that when u love someone u remember things. but lots of people forget. not on purpose, it just happens. it happens to me alot also. doesnt mean i dnt like the person or dont care for them or whatever. just i was in my own world. maybe at that moment he was too.
    yes but you are right. ask him. if u havent already?
    tell us how it goes… โค

    about my taurus guy i still havent messaged him on fb, i just dont feel the time is right. i dunno i have this weird feeling. anyway i found out through my friend that now hes trying to get this new girls number from his school (the school i used to go to last year) but apparently he only wants it so he can have sex with her. just like his girlfriend (and hes still with his girlfriend)
    so i dunno. i think my taurus guy just wants to screw every chic he sees.
    cuz when we were talking last year and i told him i wanna meet up, hes like cool. so can i come over? i was like wtf?
    so i think i should just forget him.
    or shall i message him first, see how it goes and if it doesnt work out, then leave it?

  482. #482 by Lioness on October 4, 2009 - 4:19 pm

    Hey guys!!
    I know how you feel ScorpioZeBest, I think that my taurus is playing every woman he sees. I am just so glad that he had enough respect for me to not get involved with me and break my heart! My taurus guy is sometimes seeing his ex-2 month fling who is a coke addict and he is trying to make things work out with his ex-wife for his child so he says. So I am totally backing off and not going to give him the time of day till he gets rid of the women of the past! They are ex’s for a reason you know. Hopefully he doesn’t forget me while he does all of this!

  483. #483 by InloveCancer on October 4, 2009 - 4:42 pm

    Guys,

    Yesterday, I was so depressed… Eventhough he was nice to me yesterday like I told you guys that he texted and answers my calls. But hello, he said he loves me, so this is not the only thing he does for loving someone rite? Picking up my calls… Oh please, this is totally funny. I can’t believe I would be happy enough when the person who loves me just pick up my calls. Itz ridiculous. However, I ignored him. I’m tired of playing “sweety game” with him. Cancerian doesnt’ like gaming, we are direct, and do what our heart says. We can’t go against our motto. So, I didn’t get online at all last nite. I went out to have couple drink with friends. And I didn’t text him like the other nights to asking what he is doing or watever. So he waited until 9:30 and he texted, asking me if I’m online and if I’m still sick. So I told him I’m not online. Then later he texted me couple more asking how I feel, and if I take medicine… Then he tried to call me but I didn’t pick up the phone. I ended up told him that I feel bad… he asked me why. I said because I think he doesn’t feel the same way as I do, and he doesn’t love me like he said. Guess wat? Like 30 mins later he texted me back and said “Try go go home soon, and don’t drink too much”. He doesn’t mention about wat I just texted him. I got really mad so I didn’t text him back until now. Well, I think I’m not going to text, call or chat with him anymore. Like u guys said, if a person truely care and miss you, they know where to find you. Itz true. I’ll wait if he will say anything about us or his feeling for me… If not, then he can just dissapear 4ever.

    I still can’t make up my mind about going to see him… But for now, I’m just going to ignore him first. Yesterday, I just remember there are few friends of mine are also Taurus. And yes some of them are unfaithful. There is one T-guy dated with this girl for 11 years, but during that period of time, he secretly went out with other girls and had sex. So, I’m not sure if other Taurus man is the same or not. But yes, I think they are player, up to this point. May be they like to win people heart, but dun want to have any responsibility about it. Sorry but f**k it. I have to reconsider everything he said and done for me before. Is it because he loves me or just to win my heart. Then now, when he already had it, he just gonna walk away and find another heart to win. Like someone has mentioned earlier, falling in love with a Taurus man is a blessing but also a curse… TRUE…

  484. #484 by Lioness on October 4, 2009 - 10:35 pm

    You go Inlove Cancer because I feel the same way as you do girl!! we leo’s don’t want to wait around foreva either and I am getting tired of this man’s s**t my mom who is a taurus said for me to just forget him and move on because obviously he is not worth my time and wants to play games with his ex’s and he doesn’t know a good thing if it hit him in his face! I just wish that it wasn’t this hard because we had everything in common my child realy liked him and he was so good why am I having such a hard time with this and not being able to move forward??? What is wrong with me? I mean this man obviously does not like me but why does he do the things that he does that is what is holding me back!

    Goodluck Girls!!

  485. #485 by InloveCancer on October 5, 2009 - 1:02 am

    My friends,

    I need an advice now. I ignored him since last nite. He texted me today at 5pm asking how i am doing today, and if I feel better. I didn’t response to him. Should I response anything at all? or just ignore him? Well, he never ignore me for that long before. There 2 types of people, one is if you totally ignore them, they will look for you; another one is the one that will think you don’t want them to bother you, so they are off. I don’t know which one this Taurus man is. So I’m confused. He knew that I was sad because of him. In the last text, I told him that I was sad because I think he doesn’t love me. But he still didn’t mention about it, and keep asking me how I am doing. What should I do? Plz tell me.

  486. #486 by InloveCancer on October 5, 2009 - 1:12 am

    BTW, sorrie I was so impatient, but it feels wrong when I don’t answer him. So I texted back I said: “You don’t have to ignore what I told you last night, and you don’t have to worry for me either”. Is it okay? Lol What should I do next? I’m so lost… just can’t believe it ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  487. #487 by Lioness on October 5, 2009 - 2:49 am

    I know exactly how you feel InLoveCancer, I am doing the same thing I am ignoring my Taurus too…. at least yours is writing you messages though…. But have you ever heard the saying absence makes the heart grow fonder? Maybe in this case that is what the Dr. ordered! Ignore him and talk to him only when necessary I mean if you see him then you have to talk so you aren’t being rude to him but treat him as he is treating you so he can get the message and so you can collect your thoughts also. If he wants you he knows where to find you if he doesn’t think you are that special to him then you know that he was a waste of your time to begin with and he isn’t even worth your friendship. That is what I am beginning to think myself and to learn because if a man who can let a good woman as ourselves there is definately something wrong here! (speaking for myself) I wish that my taurus guy would come around also he is the first guy that I have deeply connected with and I know that there is something there and I don’t know what his problem is! Is it all me am I the crazy one? any suggestions are welcome!

  488. #488 by ScorpioZeBest on October 5, 2009 - 12:32 pm

    dear inlove cancer,
    aww you poor baby, hes giving you such a hard time. you dont deserve it at all. yes i agree with lioness, dont answer him for a looooong time and dont message him unless necessary! because your taurus man will actually miss you! im sure of it!
    seriously from now on, dont call him answer or anything. if he feels like talking he will. and also if you feel impatient switch your fone off or sumthng. or go do something to distract yourself. call a friend, listen to music. anything. just to get yourself off it.
    hun, im trying to think of the best advice to give but honestly im so confused about ur situation i dont really know what to say myself. if my taurus guy was as confusing as urs id completely forget it.

    i finally messaged my taurus guy on facebook yest at 11:00pm saying: heya had a good summer? still in the country?
    and he texted back today at 12:00pm saying:
    (his and my exact words lol) yh i am i got back ages ago tho? lol howz u…

    i didnt answer yet. ill answe tomorrow to keep him waiting.
    dudettes, i realise the thing to do. is not to take everything so seriously. like i was feeling so depressed and everything but now im cool. like he answered. big deal? ok good for him. i really dont care as much anymore. i wouldnt mind keeping in touch with him a few times or seeing him. but im not going to take anything seriously unless he does.
    cuz if i do its going to fuck me up (sorry language)
    so i suggest u guys do the same.
    trust me it helps. like kind of let it go abit. dont hold on so tight. be a bit airy towards ur relationship or whatever u guys wanna call it.

    and lioness, i wish you all the best for your future… its such a shame that your daughter was also fond of him ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
    but seriously if he doesnt give u what u want its not worth your time hun. yeah i know what u mean about being connected to him and all. and no your not going crazy, hes the crazy one over here. not sure of what he wants.
    im really sorry im not giving much good advice but all i can say is that if u can forget it, do it.
    i still thnk your taurus man likes you and is attracted to you and doesnt wanna lose you, but lets say he doesnt like you enough. so try to move on…

  489. #489 by Lioness on October 5, 2009 - 4:04 pm

    Thanks ScorpioZeBest,
    Maybe someday he will see the light until then I am not going to speak to him but I am not going to be rude either…. like if I have to say something to him then I will…. It is a shame that my boy did like him but that is life and I am sure that he will like some others also…. I have watched that movie a few times just not into you or whatever it is and I really need to take notes on that one!! They should make a movie about Taurus men that is for sure! InLoveCancer, you will be fine he just doesn’t know what he wants because as with all Taurus men they are too afraid of change and they go back to what they think is “normal” I think that is what my Taurus guy is trying to do and he will see in time it is not gonna work but I will let him fall flat on his face. Let your Taurus guy miss you for awhile and realize what he has to loose without you talking to him!

  490. #490 by GemWoman on October 5, 2009 - 11:52 pm

    Well I am back, and it looks like these guys are still giving us the blues. I am so mad at them for US! HA!

    We hadnt spoken on the phone since 9/7. I emailed him and he said something that I took wrong and it made me sad. I dont allow anyone to hurt my feelings so I kinda stepped back.

    but GemGIRL (aka troublemaker side of my personality) showed up and…….

    sent my Tguy an email on the night of the 21st, spilled it ALL, didnt hold back one iota of info. Told him I miss him blah blah blah, waited, waited…. on the morning of 23rd I get an email response.

    “I will call you”

    I just got the call Saturday the 3rd NINE days later LOL

    It was pleasant because when he called me I was in a store and couldnt hear him and asked if it would be ok to call back. I was so proud of myself. I was giddy like a school girl, but I waited around 15 minutes and called him back. We chatted for about 30 minutes. Catching up on things. Then he said he was going to watch a game on tv and he would call me back later for some fun on the phone, well he did around 10:30 and I was still out and about. I am sort of glad that I wasnt available for him. Because I may have let my emotions take over and allowed myself back in that place with him.

    I read my 2009 love horoscope yesterday and it was on the money! It said

    “Serious Saturn enters Libra and your 5th House of Romance on October 30, where it remains for a couple of years. Settling down into practical and enduring relationships will become top priority. ”

    source:
    http://horoscopes.aol.com/astrology/gemini-2009-love-horoscope

    so we will see if he comes around 10/30 LOL. I recently moved and I am going to send him an invite to visit. If he comes, wonderful, If not, Im actually ok with it at this point. I will not allow myself to get that wrapped up in him again.

    Good luck ladies. ๐Ÿ™‚

  491. #491 by เนˆjess on October 6, 2009 - 5:21 am

    Hi Laides,

    I’m back!

    WoW! so many more comments from ladies of all signs! LOL.

    Will have to try catching up with new comments while I was away (feel like a homework…LOL.)

    Like I had this strong feeling and was nervious, it turned out as one of the greatest trip for me, so intense and full of so much feelings. I feel we became more attached and fell more for each other. But the most important thing for me is that I got to see his unpleasant side for the first time in 11 months dating him. He expressed his frustration and took it out on me and got me crying again. But it was all sort out when he apologise and explain with lots of kiss… hehe. Even it was all understandable how his frustration came from, i also realized how my overly emotional came from too.

    But now I’m concerned how we are going to weld this gap of me being extremely emotional and him being extremely rational.

    Anyway, even I’m no Taurus expert but I would love to share and give opinion as best as i could.

    Cheers!

  492. #492 by InloveCancer on October 6, 2009 - 6:35 am

    Gemwoman,

    You are really funny. I laugh while reading ur post. Thanks so much for sharing. Ur so good dealing with Taurus man now. Hahahhaha Goodluck on the 30th!!!

    Jess,

    Welcome back!!! U should check on us more… Especially me, I need alot of help… I’m so depressed ๐Ÿ™‚ I think you are in the better situation now, compares to us. Goodluck to you and ur Taurus. At least he explained and comfort you with alot of kisses. I’m jealous.

    Aniways, back to my update. It was the longest day today. This is the first time that he and I don’t contact each other at all within a day. Like I told u guys above, I texted him and said that he doesn’t have to worried about me. Well, you know why I said that rite? He doesn’t mention about his feeling or thought, after I told him that I think he doesn’t love me as he said. But all he did was texting me and ask how I am doing and stuffs. I was so so mad.

    I checked facebook today. I saw he commented his friends that he will come back to town (also where I live) soon. He kindda mention about this to 2,3 friends. I’m not sure if he is saying to me or just to tell his friends. He told them that he will come back soon and they should be ready to hang out with him. I was sad… I mean he must know how sad I’m right now, but he is totally fine. He totally ignored me also. Well, I will not contact him first, unless he looks for me. If not, I’ll try to forget him. May be he just doesn’t really love me, may be he just liked me a little bit, and I pushed him too much… Now he knows I’m not the one so he wanna let me go… Oh well… Time will answer everything, so I guess just give Time some time… I’ll go sleep now… hopefully I can sleep… Sometime during the day, I feel like I was fooled… like I’m stupid or something… I still can’t believe he is doing what he is doing now… I’m so wrong… such a dreamer ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    Bye guys, have a good nite…. Thanks for supporting me ๐Ÿ™‚

  493. #493 by เนˆjess on October 6, 2009 - 8:01 am

    InloveCancer,

    Please try not to stress yourself out and get more sleep. Although we ladies here are dealing with the same sign of guy, TAURUS, but we are of different situation and setting. Mind you, me and my T even get better each day but we NEVER talked on the phone as he never called me even once! and I have never visited his room not even once!, and if that is going to change it’s not coming from me. We used to only text like once a day and meet like once in 2 weeks, now we text and chat everyday and meet once or twice a week and make more trips. It was all from him who ask to chat and meet more. What keeps me stay and put up with this guy until now is my arrogance and his honesty. I mean even I have a feeling for him but if he is not going to call or chase after me, i’m not going to do anything and leave it to him if he is really sincere about getting to know me, he will compromise and stick around.

    I think Taurus are actually quite simple to read but we must never forget that Taurus is a FIXED sign that represents ‘PATIENT’ (as in stubborness) and ‘PRACTICAL’ (as in logic). Ladies, this is very important and give you so much clue. Taurus men are there to please and give pleasure to women, but despite how much romance or passion they keep showering you, they are NOT going to go out of their life or way for you. They are so practical that even you are now become another special person in their lives, they are still going on with their life almost the same way before they met you!!! Because they know things can stop or end anything with any reason (and their experience prove it enough either they get bored fast or girls unstable emotional state) While we ladies start to involved them in our lives, our plan, our decisions… this is when the problem arises.

    InloveCancer, you don’t need to tell him to ignore or not to worry about you because it doesnt matter so much to him (pardon me for i dare to guess). Stay tune on reality and play it by ears, do what you always do, ignore him if what he did make you feel bad but dont let him become a too much a cause or effect for you to do or not to do things in your life.

    Believe me I keep reminding myself the same thing I told you girls to always keep my own feet on the ground to never let this passion and heart beat this Taurus guy made me feel drag me out of the real world if one day he decided to be end it all. But now I really need to get serious sheding off 2 kgs as I might join him another trip in the next 2 weeks.

  494. #494 by Lioness on October 6, 2009 - 5:39 pm

    Hey guys how are you all doing??
    I have a dilemma I think that my taurus guy is pretending to be someone else on yahoo and he is talking to me as another guy who is married with 2 kids he even sent me a pic of himself. There are so many simililarities with this guy that I am talking to on yahoo and my taurus guy that I am trying so hard to trip him up and he is soo good! I even asked him if he had a webcam and he said no so that didn’t work out to well and now he wants to meet me and I don’t know what to do because what if this guy is not my taurus guy??? I really don’t want to break up a marriage but this guy hasn’t even asked me what my name is and we have been talking since august and he lives in the same town right by me and we met in a chat room how odd is that??? I have met one other guy like that and he lived on the other side of town! This guy gets online the same time as my taurus does everyday and I never see my taurus on at the same time as this guy I have been using that detector that InLoveCancer recommended and I am just clueless on what to do!!! I know that taurus guys are sneaky and this guy that is my taurus guy or whoever he is was getting jealous was asking who I was with what I do with my friends and so on…….. Please advise me on what to do next girls!!!

  495. #495 by InloveCancer on October 7, 2009 - 1:51 am

    Thanks Jess,

    Your Taurus truely likes you, so he is still around. I’m not sure about mine. He used to make me think that he really really like me. When he didn’t tell me he likes me yet, he always said thing like “You don’t know how important you are too me.” Every morning he called and ask me what shirt color I wear that day so he’ll wear the same thing. He even turn his wc on when he is studying or in class. He even try all his new clothes in front of the wc for me to see. There are alot and alot more things that this TAurus guy did for me and made me think I’m everything to him. But now, itz totally opposite. When I heard he told his friends that he will be back town soon, I even thought he might just hide for awhile, try to clear his head, and one day he will come back town, call me out and tells me that he loves me… But I think it will be only in my dream… ๐Ÿ™‚ I don’t want to put up the whole beautiful dream and shatter myself in there…

    Lioness,

    About the new guy, it might be ur Taurus man, it might be not. If you want you can give it a try. Well, if he is not the one, then you can tell the other guys that you just wanna be friends than stop talking alot to him. So that you won’t break noone marriage. Itz true that Taurus man is sneaky sometime, mine is not online anymore since then, but he did goes invisible sometime. I don’t know if he wanna check on me or what. However, I don’t know if he create a new yahoo Id or not, if he does, I’ll be really sad. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ Have to admit that I miss him… But not like I can’t go on without him. I’m just too sad thinking he is changed. Aniways, have to get back to my study. I’ll always be around with you guys… Luv

  496. #496 by Lioness on October 7, 2009 - 2:16 am

    Thanks InLoveCancer,
    I will give that a try I have not seen him online since I have talked to him last I think that it is my taurus man for sure he seems to have the same demeanor and there are just too many coincidences! So I am gonna try what you suggested and see where it goes at least I know that he was being sneaky and didn’t want me gone out of his life!!! He also got rid of the ex-gf!! She is off of his facebook page and off of his myspace page I am so happy!

  497. #497 by InloveCancer on October 7, 2009 - 5:18 am

    Wow I’m happy for you too… I have no good news from mine. I was kindda active on my facebook tonite… So he will see me doing alot of things up there… I saw him online on yahoo with status “Genetic =)”. I don’t know if it has to do anything with me but I’m sad… I cried a lil bit tonite… Hope things get better for you Lioness

  498. #498 by Melane' on October 7, 2009 - 6:53 pm

    Greetings & Blessings to all you ladies on this TAURUS blog. I am to adding my experience with my Taurus in hopes of helping and encouraging you. I will begin: First, let me say I am a Sagitarrius.

    I met my Taurus(musician) in 1990, through my brother(also Taurus)& musician. (They are still great friends) My brother introduced us at one of his shows. He was the most beautiful man I have ever laid eyes on, and very charming., and yes arrogant. We spent 5yrs. of being good friends, buddies, confidants is what you might say.(No we never had sex), and if you are wondering, yes I wanted too…but, we had such a lovely friendship there was no way I was going to ruin that., Both of us at the time were in college, had jobs, working , so we were very busy with our own responsibilities, getting our lives in order. These are the facts about my Taurus, in order as best that can be summed up in a blog:

    Taurus can “carry on” w/so many girls/women(play-things) at one time, it is utterly ridiculous, (they can/will keep secrets) but if its a woman they truly care about, whether they are together or not, he will always be coming around in some form of communication, literally “coming around” the corner, and yes lots of times unannounced.

    Taurus wants their woman to have her own life, and not make him the center of your entertainment, and never give too much of yourself and time(in the beginning) don’t be at their beckoning call.

    Never let him know he has you, but at the same time make him feel important. This takes alot of patience, and studying him, but just remember he is studying you…always…they never forget anything you do or say, good or bad. If things start moving to fast, they will back up, they have to be 100% sure you are the one, they have so many to choose from, women literally throw themselves at them…..

    Slowly but Surely=his motto! Eventually they get what they set out to do, even if it takes years…….

    Taurus will avoid flirty, loud, obnoxious, pushy, bossy women! You have to let them “wear the pants” and let them make all the important decisions, they like to feel important. When you are out in public, especially with mutual friends(I say mutual, because his friends are your friends and vice-versa) let your Taurus be the brighter of the two. They are very protective, so don’t worry, he will always be watching out for you, he won’t let anyone hurt you physically or mentally, not even family….Do not take things personally, they are stubborn, they are very direct on how they care and feel. When in love they love with all their hearts and minds. You are theirs and they are yours, literally! Think caveman mentality! LOL

    They like very feminine, fluffy, soft to touch, kittenish, well groomed, bashful, delicate and sweet women. Brush up on your cooking skills, they love to eat good food. So yes you will need to know how to cook, and keep a nice, neat home. They love lots of hugs, kisses, and cuddling. They are very sensual, these men use all their senses, and in the bedroom–very erotic, ravaging, mind-blowing experiences. I must add: No man has ever touched me the way my Taurus does, they make LOVE. They have to be told this on occasion(they want to be the best, and they usually are) especially told this in the beginning.

    You cannot be the nervous type all twitchy, sweaty, fidgity, and insecure, depressed, upset easily and angry at the world, this totally turns them off! You must always remain positive and in control of youself, like a lady!, and remember a lady always knows when to leave, especially if he is in one of those moods…(thats where having your own interests come in) The above mentioned negative traits will “turn him off” in the long run and he will suddenly or eventually be gone for good. Remember: we were “good friends” for 5yrs. and I watched a many girls/women go out of his life, quite quickly. Yes, ladies it is alot of work, but you have my Promise it is positively worth it!

    Taurus likes to do the chasing! They like to be in charge…to call the shots…when he falls for you for good, he can’t keep his hands and eyes off of you, it’s like “YOU ARE THE DISH AND HE IS THE SPOON”

    In 1995, we both finished our studies with respectable careers, and our friendship moved into a beautiful engagement with him doing tons of chasing, wooing and romantic courting. It was wonderful! I’ve never felt so loved, wanted, and needed in all my life.
    We have been married since June 26, 1996, 13yrs. He is a wonderful, devoted husand and father.
    My husband is a Music Teacher, and I am a Registered Nurse.
    We have 2 beautiful, talented children(twins)boy/girl. Life is GREAT!

    Ladies, please believe me when I say Taurus is worth the wait.
    Good luck, and God Bless.

  499. #499 by ScorpioZeBest on October 7, 2009 - 8:55 pm

    MELANE THANKYOUUUUUUU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH FOR YOUR WORDS BABE!! THEY HELPED ALOOOTT!! HAHA I KNNOW I DONT KNOW U BUT I LOVE U LOOOOOOL! THANKUUUUUUUUU!! UVE HELPED SO MANY PPL OUT WITH UR POST!! THANKS BABE!!!

  500. #500 by InloveCancer on October 8, 2009 - 2:07 am

    Datz a beautiful story… Thanks so much, Melane… If I have read these before, then I won’t rush him in anyway. I had him, I had alot of him in the beginning. But I really don’t understand Taurus man at all, that is why we ended up this way. I don’t know if he ever look for me again… I agree with Melane that when you have him chasing you, it’s the best thing in the world. I’ve never feel for anyone the way I feel for him. Everything he has done is so sweet… Thanks for sharing your story… I love it… I think I wont ever forget about what I have learned about these Taurus men… very interesting ๐Ÿ™‚

  501. #501 by InloveCancer on October 8, 2009 - 2:11 am

    BTW Melane, June 26 is also my birthday ๐Ÿ™‚

  502. #502 by InloveCancer on October 8, 2009 - 2:33 am

    Melane,

    Can you suggest me what I should do here on my situation? At beginning he cared for me alot and alot. But after we know each other feelings, he changed… He still cares for me, but not like before anymore. He doesn’t want to be with me because he thinks the other guys are better for me. He said he don’t want me to wait for him because it’s not fair for me… and so on… I don’t know what to do so I just try to keep silent with him. Today, I read his text msg and think about everything he has done and said to me before, I know he did like me alot. Do you think he gonna look for me? Should I wait or give up and forget about him?

  503. #503 by เนˆjess on October 8, 2009 - 3:19 am

    Hi Melene’,

    WoW! Finally someone with a successful story step up and share ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you so much!

    It’s soon going to be 1 year dating my Taurus, yet we never slipped out the ‘i love you’ word. I wish I can be more gentle and more submissivef but my hard personality make it so hard for me to be tamed and I become protective of my own feeling which I can see the same pattern in him.

    Anyway, he managed to get out the softie side of me so much that I cry infront of him for too many times…. Now he say I’m too emotional for every little thing and want to train me to be tough. He just didn’t know I was not like this with others even I’m super sensitive but I hide it well but with him I become helpless and cry too often. He said it’s unbelievable I can be so emotional like this but this is what make me so charming… so i guess he is the one who is strange.. LOL.

  504. #504 by Lioness on October 8, 2009 - 5:07 am

    InLoveCancer,
    I had a bf kinda pisces guy kinda like your guy he wanted me we were together for almost 6 years but he said that he wasn’t good enough for me and really he wasn’t but I still loved him regardless anyhow your guy doesn’t know what he wants right now just back off I know that it is easier said than done and give him his time to be alone and I am sure that he will come around and miss you and come back! That is what mine did……… I am having troubles with my taurus guy I am 90% positive that my taurus guy is my married guy on yahoo messanger we were supposed to meet today and he stood me up I am so mad at him right now and he hasn’t written me or anything when my friend messaged my taurus guy he usually speaks to her he didnt even respond to her so I am positive it was him and I don’t know if it was just a bi-polar day or what his deal is especially when some random guy that I have talked to 11 times is getting jealous asking what I do with my friends, what I did yesterday, If it was a girl or a guy and everything……. why would he do all of this if he had no interest in me at all? I know a guy that I have talked to 11 times would not do this esp when he has not even asked me what my name is he even told me I needed to get out and move around today how the hell does he know what I have been doing???? I am so mad right now I don’t know what to do anymore…..Goodluck Girls!

  505. #505 by saggi girl on October 8, 2009 - 4:23 pm

    Melene,

    Hi, taurus expert, welcome aboard…

  506. #506 by InloveCancer on October 10, 2009 - 11:42 pm

    My T-man and I are still in silent… both of us… I think he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore… But I’ll wait until he is here… If he still don’t call me out or anything then I know the answer ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  507. #507 by Lioness on October 11, 2009 - 9:20 am

    Sorry to hear that InLoveCancer hang in there! My friend went over to my taurus’s house the other day and he had alot to say he brought me up 4 times to her and she never once mentioned me he even was asking her if she had ever dated a neighbor and she told him that she had he asked how it worked out and he was trying to change the subject after she was telling him that she just walked on past without saying a word if she ever saw her ex and that is kinda what I am doing to my taurus and he quickly changed the subject. He even was so paranoid he was whispering in his place to my friend he thought I was sitting outside his door listening and was nervous about my friend being at his place for so long with him he told her well she is gonna wonder where you went and what we are doing up here (my friend came down to my place to hang out and my taurus and I are neighbors) he showed my friend this girl he is apparently dating who is married on facebook. Why he did this I have no idea! I don’t know what to do anymore I feel that he is running away and I am so tired of the lies and the headgames. His alter ego (married guy)on yahoo was supposed to meet me the other day and stood me up I can’t believe he actually did it. I feel like sometimes I am just a game to him other times I feel that maybe he really does like me… so what do you do in a situation like this? I am for sure not gonna be his doormat that is for sure. His deal is that he is keeping our mutual friend at arms length and telling her stuff because he knows she will come and tell me. I have no clue what to do I have been talking to other guys on yahoo I know he is gonna be jealous when he finds out why I don’t know we never dated slept together nothing! He rejected me! I am going nuts trying to figure him out I feel like he has turned his back on me or something until it suits him. Goodluck guys!

  508. #508 by InloveCancer on October 11, 2009 - 4:45 pm

    Lioness,

    It has been a week that my Tman and I kept silent. He doesn’t text/call/chat/email or any anything. I did the same thing, nothing at all. He gives me no sign of wat to do. The only thing make me hang on is waiting for the day that he gonna come back to town; it might be next 2 weeks, or Thanksgiving. I think I’ll just hang on til the end of this year. Because he gonna come back here, since all his friends are here, his brother’s gf is here too, he will come back to visit them like he said on Facebook. If he come bak here and ignore me, the answer is clear. Rite? I’ll just wait.

    About ur Tman, he is really strange, but I think he does care and likes you, since he talks about you and stuffs. Just ignore him, when he can’t hang on nomore, he’ll do something. ๐Ÿ™‚ goodluck

  509. #509 by Lioness on October 11, 2009 - 6:35 pm

    you def. right InLoveCancer,
    your t-man sounds like mine he doesn’t know what he wants and he is too afraid to move forward! He is thinking to far ahead of the what ifs and such so he ignores you except mine is keeping me at arms length with this other name on yahoo and ignoring me on his other name! To think that it is some random man ya know what I mean! Taurus men are strange I am sick of mine lying to me and playing these stupid highschool games but they say that is what their mentality is I guess. My taurus man has figured me all out I think but not sure he just is so guarded and won’t let me in and its tearing me up and he is pushing me away and he is having these meaningless flings that he knows are not gonna go no where. In your case, your taurus is probably doing the same thing you probably got too close and he got scared and ran! They seem to be all the same to me. I mean I have needs too and I am not gonna wait around forever for him for him to think what he wants. Good luck to you InloveCancer I am sure he will realise what a good thing he is missing out on….. have you tried dropping messages in on him like saying hey just making sure you are still around?? Or are you still alive haven’t heard from you? Goodluck!

  510. #510 by InloveCancer on October 12, 2009 - 5:16 am

    Lioness,

    I did wat you told me to. I texted and said “HAven’t hear anything from you lately. Hope everything is fine.” Then he texted me back said he is fine. He said he wanted to text me but he thought I don’t want to talk to him, and asked me how I’m doing but I didn’t answer him right away. Then, he called me on Yahoo. So I told him there is not point for me to bother him if he doesn’t want to be with me, and stuffs. He didn’t talk much. He just says he is the worst guy, I should feel sad because of him, it’s not worth it… Then I said I have to go back to study. He told me to keep myself warm cuz itz getting cold and try not to get sick. So datz our conversation today. I’m sad, really really sad… Does it really like he doesn’t want to be with me at all? It don’t matter how I feel and think, he would never give us a chance? Well, I’m going to wait until he is here and datz it.

  511. #511 by Confused Libra on October 12, 2009 - 9:57 pm

    The last two weeks was very struggle for me and my Taurus. We saw each other last on Friday, second when he needed to reschedule our date to the following Monday and that phone call never came in. He did not call whole week. Last night, i was so stressed out because of a very hard week (not Taurus related), i texted him and asked for advice on a good window repair shop. He called back within minutes and was also trying to get his children ready for bed. 2 hours later, i was having a big headache and wasn’t able to fall sleep. I asked him if it was appropriate to ask him for a hug. He said he will be delighted and the only problem is that he can’t leave the house as his children were there. We sat on the couch for a while and he listened very patiently about the last 2 weeks that we didn’t see each other. I don’t know if i should bring up the facts that it bothers me that he doesn’t call me but he was happy to see me when I was there (I honestly think he got so occupied during the week with kids, work, and many things and doesn’t think it’s necessary to call me). Last night we slept together and his son came to join us in bed in the middle of the night. I thought he was going to take him back to his bed and either sleep with him in his bed or return to bed after he falls back to sleep. Surprisingly, his son slept with us (or perhaps I shall say, I slept with them through the night. He was holding his son with one arm and lightly touching my hand with the other. This morning when we both woke up, he cuddled me in for a quick second and had to catch his son was about to fall off the bed (and it happened last night when i was there too). We said goodbye with kisses and he waved goodbye in bed with his son in his arm. Quite interesting experience for me.

    I am still very confused but I really do think there is more between us.

    ๐Ÿ™‚

  512. #512 by Lioness on October 13, 2009 - 2:36 am

    InLoveCancer,
    I think your guy likes you he is just feeling down you know how they get those mood swings! keep on him but yet give him his distance I would say contact him every 3 days or something like that or whatever you think I mean you know him best! My Taurus I don’t even know what to think about him he is so afraid to let anyone in and I don’t know if I can break through that and I don’t know what is holding him back. He is still talking to me under his alias on yahoo (married guy) so thats a good thing! He gave me the excuse that he was sorry and that he had a bunch of heaters go out when he told me he was just going over to fix a friends furnace??? He cant keep his story straight…its funny to me! Good luck girls!

  513. #513 by Jess on October 13, 2009 - 3:41 pm

    To: Virgo sun – Scorpio rising,

    What a thesis! I applaud you! LOL. You must really work hard in your observation and research! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Anyway very interesting and fun to read. I found they are true in many respects except the ‘docile’ one! LOL. Well I still can not relate Taurus with Unicorn since Unicorn only exist as imaginary creature while Taurus is so…… bull…..hahaha!

    Hope all is well!

  514. #514 by saggi girl on October 13, 2009 - 6:30 pm

    hi girls, i need your opinionโ€ฆ i had a little hard time during these 3 last daysโ€ฆ it confused me a lot and do not know what to doโ€ฆ well, be patient with me as my story might be boring you.. but..

    my taurus went to see his mom (his mom is in hospital due to brain cancer)on friday and he sent me a text message on friday night and stated that he is safe arriving, and said good night with kisses and will call me on saturday, but i did not see it until it was around 10:30pm, but there is an hour difference, so it will be too late for him on 11:30pm, so i did not reply to it as usual. so saturday came and he did not call as he said in the text, so i was little worried, then i texted him on sunday morning, askingโ€ you ok?โ€, he texted me back 10 minutes later likeโ€ yeah, visiting now, i will call you later today, baby, you ok?โ€ then i was pissed off after knowing he is ok but he did not call as he said on saturday which makes me worry, so i texted him back like: do not do that again, thanks.โ€ so he did not reply anymore. then i texed him before i went to bed likeโ€ good night and drive safely if you are coming back tomorrow.โ€ then my phone rang, i did not answer and he left me a message likeโ€ baby, i am driving back tonight, and probably will be very late when i gets back around 1am. i miss youโ€ฆblah blah..โ€ then i called him back, he asked if i was ok, then i said that i thought so. i guess i was acting in a way that he recalled what had happened with my message. then he started getting mad and saidโ€ well, you are ok but i am not ok. what the message aboutโ€ do not do that again.โ€ what you mean my that? you did not even reply to my text on friday when i just arrived, then you are mad because that i did not call you on saturday when i was visiting my sick mom, i was spending time with my family. if i have some update i need to let you know and i will. but you accusing me of not calling you even though i said that i will when you do not even reply to my text message when i told you that i safely arrived.. you are so demanding and selfish. i gave you room and respect you needed when your parents were visiting youโ€ฆ i just do not know what you want from me, and i need you to think about your behaviorโ€ฆโ€ he was really pissed and told me that he can not do that right the moment while he was driving on the late nightโ€ฆ so he said good night and we hung up the phoneโ€ฆ so 25 minutes later, i texted him applogizing and hope him safely trip back to home and a nice day tomorrow as it was a late night and i do not want him to get car accident or something. then he texted me backโ€ ok,you too.โ€
    then he called me last night and just chit chat and asked how my day was, then we are chit chat a little bit. but the thing made me sad was that my girlfriend has been telling me to give up on my taurus, my girlfriend has been constantly asked me to go on a trip with her including christams and thanksgiving, even weekends. so she asked me if i would go, i said that i probably have to spend time with my taurus guy. then she was likeโ€ wow, you are wasting your time with him, he is still married and even though he is sepearting from his wife,. he wonโ€™t get divorce, he is just playing youโ€ฆ he does not have chemistry with you, when his life get stright, he will leave you. blah blah wow, it is kind of making me feel badโ€ฆ. i do not know what my girlfriend intention is, but it does make me wonder about my relationship with him.

    sorry, my story continuesโ€ฆ so after my girlfriend told me what she thought about my relationship, i kind of told my taurus guy that i was in a wierd position since he is still married even though he is seperating, then i said that i felt very bad about the position i am in.. he saidโ€ you know my situation, right?โ€ i saidโ€ yes, i knew but i still felt bad about that when the people around me are all against us.โ€ i also said โ€ i was thinking a lot today, if i need to stay or leave, i was thinking maybe we need to leave each other alone and let you handle your stuff.โ€ then he was likeโ€ no, i am so sorry that you have to go through all of this, i will get my divorce done as soon as possible, as i do not like it at all either. i do not want her and do not want my marriage back. i will do it as soon as possible, but right now i need to cope with my momโ€™s situation as she is dying.. but i will talk to her and get it done as soon as possible. i want to do it too, it is not for you, it is for myself as i do not like it either at all.life is shortโ€ฆ then he comforted me for a while and kept telling me that he will get it done as soon as possible. then he told me that he is going to call me either tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. then i saidโ€ just call me the day after tomorrow.โ€ then he paused and told meโ€ ok, but sent me a text message before you go to bed tomorrow.โ€

    girls, i do not know what to do and i also blurred out what my girl friend said about us that he is playing meโ€ฆ. then he said that i am not playing you, and i cared about you, you know that right?โ€ then i saidโ€ is that wrong for us to be together?โ€ then he was likeโ€ no it is wrong but it is hard. i will get it done as soon as possible.โ€ then he also told me to take it easy and stop worrying too muchโ€ฆ

    i do not know what to doโ€ฆespecially my girlfriendโ€™s comment made on my situationโ€ฆ i got lostโ€ฆ

  515. #515 by InloveCancer on October 13, 2009 - 10:54 pm

    Saggi girl, omg… I read ur story word by word… ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I’m so sorry for your situation. But at least ur Taurus shows he want to be with you. He just need more time. Mine doesn’t even want to be with me :(… I’m studying for my exam now. I promise to come back and give you my opinions. Sorry about that. Just want to tell you dun feel too bad. At least he cares, itz feel better than you are the only one who cares, and he doesn’t AT ALL. Later.

  516. #516 by Lioness on October 14, 2009 - 12:10 am

    I think all Taurus Men are all the Same Ladies! I wish mine would move a little faster I want him so bad and I know he feels the same for me as I feel for him and I want him so bad and I don’t know what to do anymore. He took me off of stealth mode tonight and I just sat there and waited and didn’t say a word to him and he finally messaged me after I wrote him today asking how he was. Maybe that was his plan to get to know me on the other name and now to get rid of it and talk to me on this name I don’t know I haven’t heard from his alter ego…LOL I don’t know what do do anymore he knows me so well and that is scary I let him get to close and I know him too well too but I don’t know what he is gonna do next and that is the problem. I don’t know if he is gonna let me walk, string me along while he has all these other women, keep me on the side, or what??

  517. #517 by เนˆJess on October 14, 2009 - 4:37 am

    saggi girl,

    Not to mention about intenion, your friend probably said that out of anger or disappointment so you should not take it seriously! When somebody gives you opinion regarding your personal life, you must remember it’s YOUR LIFE they are TALKING about.

    When people say things out of anger or frustration, they drop it like a bomb without thinking of consequence so think about it you don’t want to make decision or take any action base on that.

    I’m not in America but I heard getting divorce in America is not a simple and easy process even you don’t have kids together.

    Please try to relax and don’t worry too much like your Taurus said.

  518. #518 by InloveCancer on October 14, 2009 - 7:14 am

    Lioness, ur saying wat my head is saying… Same questions I asked myself… ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  519. #519 by saggi girl on October 14, 2009 - 1:26 pm

    hi Jess,

    thank you so much for your comment and haven’t heard from you for a while, hope everything is well with you… how is your taurus? is he getting better?… yeah, i thought about it yesterday after i post my story here, i was asking myself if i am too pathetic to just listen without processing myself… actually it is kind of dangerous, right?? like you said that i should trust myself… i just found out that i have this weakness, like always blow off to him once someone said something bad about him or our relationship, then i blew it off to him and see how he reacted to get the confirmation. i know it is wrong and pathetic… i should stop it…or i really need to grow up inside…

  520. #520 by saggi girl on October 14, 2009 - 1:27 pm

    Involved cancer,

    thanks for stopping by and reading my story even though you have a test on the way. thanks for the patience… good luck with your test…

  521. #521 by Lioness on October 14, 2009 - 3:19 pm

    InloveCancer,
    you and I kinda have the same situation going on they don’t know what they want my taurus is using the excuse as we are neighbors to get to close yet I think it is a complete cop-out for him and I think he is terrified as I am. I can tell by the way that he writes me that he treats me like a lady he does not cuss, he does not talk dirty none of that and when he is around me he is completely shy and he is so nervous. Now he did all of that on his other name I guess for me to see the true him without me realizing it was really him. I saw him the other day and I could hardly get out of my car my body was shaking so bad! That is what he is doing to me he is driving me insane and I am letting him its like we thrive off of each other and the thrill of the game is that good??? I have no idea what to do anymore he has told me so many stories I know none of them are true but he says that he is kinda with someone he never was getting back with the ex wife. Now it is with the lady before his ex wife that he was dating in high school. It is like he can’t keep his story straight at all he is forgetting what he said before. I don’t know what to do anymore I really want him yet I refuse to be another side job or someones game or doormat. What the scariest part is that him and I think just alike its like a match made in hell if you say! I just wish he would come around I am trying to be patient I know he opened up to me a little yesterday but I want the whole him nothing less!

  522. #522 by Jess on October 14, 2009 - 4:02 pm

    saggi girl,

    My Taurus is getting very sweet to me. Actually there was a bit drama happened with us but the situation actually proved me that he really cares and i confess it made me fall for him deeper! The trip was really amazing and I got to see his sweetness and kind heart as well as his temper and it actually draw us closer. Now he asked me for another trip because his another 2 friends are coming to visit and they are traveling abroad. I’m sad because my parents don’t allow me to go… I had 3-4 trips within the past 2-3 months and they think that was enough. I had to lie them about who I’m traveling with and my parents don’t like this group of friends (because they took me out party a lot…) but i can’t refer to other friends because i refer to them too many times already…

    I feel very sad now because I just sent email to my Taurus telling him my parents don’t want me to go so I think I’m not going. And i guess he is going to feel sad because he already made so much plan and talk so much about where he wanted to show me…

  523. #523 by saggi girl on October 14, 2009 - 4:16 pm

    Jess,

    it is sad that you can not go. that is the disadvange of living with parents, LOL. do you live with them?

    i am glad that things are getting sweet between 2 of you, it looks that we are getting another successful case here very soon……LOL

    it is bad that i have never gone any trip with him due to his current financial situation… hopefully i will be traveling with him soon… very soon.. LOL

    nice to hear from you. try to compensate his sadness by doing something else..wink wink

  524. #524 by Jess on October 14, 2009 - 4:43 pm

    saggi girl,

    Yes I live and work with my parents so that gives then so much force and control over my life… yeah it suck…

    I’m not sure it’s going to be successful case for me because my Taurus told me he only wants me and not wanting to deal with my conservative family. I can understand that because we are also interracial dating so i don’t expect him to understand my culture.

    I really hope you guys can make some trip together even a short one (but dont’push him about this ok? you already know his situation and I don’t want that you take my story and ask him about a trip and ended up with a drama…LOL)

    It’s really hard for me to spend time with him because I can’t spend a night with a guy and when i do i had to lie my parents that i stay with gfs but still i can’t do that too often and without good reason.

    Actually I was really surprised after I told my Taurus so much about my situation and limitations with family, he still wanting to be around and together, because he is totally independent. He told me also he refuse to put up with any kind of shit from anyone even gf’s parents.

    But now I feel so down with the attempt in seeing a guy. I don’t want my family to know because they will expect a successful story and if i failed again they are going to be sad. And I don’t know if I can trust this guy so it’s better keep things to myself. But now really I feel like giving up, if my Taurus is not going to stay around I’ll let go because I’m tired with fighting with family for a guy and keep this hiding and lying…

    This is part of reason i take it easy with my Taurus, I dont push nor pull because I have my own limitations and I know not many guys want to put up with this.

  525. #525 by Confused Libra on October 14, 2009 - 5:50 pm

    Hi All, please help me with this one.

    Last night, we saw each other again. He struggled to put his youngest to sleep and finally was done at 10:30pm (over 1.5 hour). We had setup time to meet just before 10 when he though all his children would be sleeping. When i got there, he was still with his youngest and the child was screaming/crying his head of wanting his father to lay next to him (and that’s the only way he’d fall asleep). The children’s mother opened the door for me and we started talking for the next 45 minutes while i was waiting for him to put his child to sleep. When he came out, he looked exhausted and he gave me a quick pat on the shoulder and walked by his children’s mother to sit down on the couch. She exited the room soon after that. We sat and talked while i rubbed his shoulder and back. He was tender, caring till the middle of the night when his yongest woke up crying, he went to his room and did not return till next morning (so basically i was sleeping on his bed alone) to say good bye to me after a quick minute cuddle. I could not help to feel that he became emotionless when the sunlight comes in even though he was very affectionate. He said he thinks he’ll see me on Saturday (my birthday) and i am really keeping my fingers crossed.

    my questions are:
    1. He asked what we (the kids mom and i) talked about, does it matter? (we talked about their three children, and the two girls i work with, what we do, and such)
    2. I feel a bit weired that he pat me (showing signs of affection) in front of his children’s mother, and she knows we are physically intimate. He said she is happy for him. I have no doubt that there is nothing else between them but I also don’t want to rub it in her face, what can i do?
    3. Should I offer suggestions and help on getting his child to sleep on his own and through the night? I am somewhat of an expert in this area and have helped many parents on getting their children’s healthy sleeping habit on track. I do not want to offtend him/or her by giving him advices without being asked.

  526. #526 by saggi girl on October 14, 2009 - 6:00 pm

    hi jess,

    thanks for warning me not to bother my taurus with your story… actually i thought about doing that… LOL

    Sometimes, it is hard for the interracial dating as i am still trying to adjust the culture difference…

    I am glad that you are so down to earth with your relationship with him, i think he really appreciated it.. one thing is really interesting that you are mentioning that your taurus is not going to take any shit even from girl’s family.. wow, mine is the same.. as one time, i was telling him that my dad knows that i was dating anther race as i am asian, my dad was mad and shocked. as he was thinking American guys are players(sorry no offense to american guy), so he told me that he respects what my dad said, but it is not true. He told me that he does not mind to be introduced to my dad to let him settle down a little bit… i refused to do it….

    hard hard hard…. still trying to adjust. they are so different.. my family is so conservative because of the culture i came from..

    i will learn to settle down like you did in your situation. actually i found something interesting is that you can brag about the good news, it applys to everything. as once you did it, the good will turn into bad… i do not know, it might be kind of superstition, but it happened to me… i guess i believe it.. i won’t share too much with my family unless it is 100% certain…

  527. #527 by เนˆJess on October 15, 2009 - 6:27 am

    Hi Confused Libra,

    I would like to give advice but your situation is somewhat I can’t relate myself into. I mean I really don’t know how I’m going to feel or act when the ex is there, how I’m going to feel watching him taking care of his kids. I mean I always adore people who put their kids first and do everything for their kids but I need to be in that position to say because as long as they are not my own kids, I know I will get emotional/sensitive toward him sometimes.

    Trying to answer your Qs,
    1) Don’t overanalyze things. Because you only stress yourself out for nothing. To me it doesnt give impression of anything bad. I would just tell him what we were talking about.

    2) It’s very nice of him to show affection in front of the ex, and I think he did that on purpose to show you how he doesn’t have problem doing this infront of the ex as to give you confident not to worry about him and ex. My opinion is, not giving back the same kind of affection but giving a subtle hint (like holding his hand a bit tight and giving smile as to show that you appreciate what he did)

    Try to act like an open minded but classy lady infront of him.

    3) Suggesting about a child sleeping habit….. hmmmm I don’t know about your Taurus but from my experience even I try to help or indirectly suggest mine about his work, he is doing it his way. I even noticed instead of asking/getting help from me regarding his work, he prefer to go and ask people from some webboard. That shows me when it’s important subject in his life, may be he doesn’t want to show me he is not the best or may be he doesnt trust anyone enough so he gather every info from all sources he could and decide later for himself.

    This is funny because while he refuse to take advice from people and rather make mistake and learn from his own, he likes to suggest/advice/even indirectly told me what to do…

    So i say when it’s about children (their most valuable in life), Taurus might not appreciate your suggestion as they think they are the best to their kids already. I dont know but that’s just my opinion.

    Hope I helped a bit,

    All the best.

  528. #528 by Jess on October 15, 2009 - 1:31 pm

    saggi girl,

    Wow, me too an asian girl dating my Taurus guy who is French. I don’t know what we are going to be and I’m not going to worry about it now. I will stick to reality and take thing as it comes and I can see my T also do the same. I read what he replied to my bad news yesterday and I can’t help feeling so happy the way he put up with my problem and I feel he is so lovely and caring, so we chat today and I already confirmed to join the trip. So now I only wait to face with parents disappointment and drama next week….

    Wish me luck…

  529. #529 by saggi girl on October 15, 2009 - 2:12 pm

    Jess,

    hahaha… wow, you have to make another white lie to get on the trip with him… i understand you and encourage you to contine to make lies whenever it is necessary. as i lie sometimes too…

    as for the things you told me not to do, but actually i did it last night. sorry, i can not help… but it was ok as i was doing it in a non-threating way.. i kind of mentioned that i wants to get away to take a small vacation, then he was like” yeah, you deserve it. and we both deserve it.” so i was like” you wanna go. sometimes,.” he was like” yeah, that would be nice, not far, but at least we can get away.” see, it seems working…. i do not know when….you know how they are…. slow and stubborn..

    i discussed with him last night about the upcomind holiday, thanksgiving, christmas and new year. he was like” we will spend some holidays together but not all of them, baby. as i have family and i need to visit my mom. maybe, we spend thanksgiving and christmas together, then i will go to visit my family on new year, i do not know yet, but we are sure to spend some holiday together… we can decide later.” i am sure one of these 3 holidays that i will be alone… too bad… why he can not bring me with him on new year… hehehe… too thick skinned… i know i am now…

    Jess, i felt it is so hard to get their heart… i do not know when… i know one day i might lose him, and do not know how i would cope with it…. hard to imagine…

    good to know, we both are asian.. wink wink..

  530. #530 by Lioness on October 15, 2009 - 2:38 pm

    Hello everyone,
    My taurus man is driving me insane! I cannot take it anymore so yesterday I was so fed up with the games I confronted him on what he was doing he played so dumb he was on his married guy screen name at that time. I then told him that I had known it was him for quite some time and then he put on his other name and I thought it was hilarious that he would go to that much trouble to keep me thinking that it was not him well he pissed me off totally he wanted to meet me and do me in a dressing room somewhere yeah I know! I told him flat out I need time and I cannot drop things at the dime I have a kid. If i didnt I would be sitting in a bar all the time partying it up or would be doing it at home! So he up and signs off doesn’t say nothing just up and signs off. I had confronted him about his feelings and all he could say was hmmm and this was getting deep. After he did that I wrote him a message telling him when he decides to make up his mind what he wants he knows where to find me and when he decides to stop playing the games hopefully I will still be around! I was so pissed at the time at everything because I just want him I am tired of the games I just want him to be straight with me that is all. this man is the 2nd man that has ever gotten to me like this ever and I have never even dated him go figure I have just talked to him and I already know him like a book he is so predictable its not even funny. I mean I hope that I just wasn’t a game to him seriously because I sure feel like I was just a big ass joke. Why do taurus men do this what is their game?

  531. #531 by Jess on October 15, 2009 - 3:41 pm

    Hi Lioness,

    Please never ALLOW yourself to be played by any guy.

    What’s the point to wait for him to admit it was him playing as another guy? why bother? So that you can move on? It’s your life, and for you to decide for yourself, not for his action to tell you where you should go, what you should do. Are you telling us that you are waiting if you will move on once he admit it was him playing?

    It’s no use to try figuring out their game because even you can figure it out, it doesn’t matter and it doesn’t mean you win his heart. Why keep dragging this? Why working and waiting so hard when the other didn’t seem to bother. Some mild game of love is understandable but it’s supposed to be 2 ways communication where 2 people who feel the same should find their way to merge somewhere.

    I know it’s hard to break or even stay away from addiction but you think how long you can keep doing this? if he has a heart or feeling for you, he can always find his way to you without any clue or direction.

    Sorry if it sounds harsh but i mean well.

  532. #532 by saggi girl on October 15, 2009 - 3:44 pm

    Lioness,

    actually, i do not like the part that he says tht he want to meet you and do the thing in a dressing room. when you turned down, he signed off and says nothing…

    i think if this is his react, it means only one thing is that he is into sex more than into the communication with you… do you want this???

    sorry for being outspoken, but that is what i thought..

  533. #533 by Lioness on October 15, 2009 - 10:19 pm

    Yes thanks guys I agree with the one personality he was kind of a jerk. But he is a wonderful man when he is himself and when he is being real he treats me like a lady never cusses never talks about sex nothing like that but I am tired of the games and now as I am closing the book on one of his other names I go into a chatroom under an alias and yet he finds me again under another name this time he was but a little more truthful to who he is but not much. I am so tired of the games and don’t know what his deal is I feel like I can’t even get on yahoo and find a guy because it is gonna be him pretending to be someone else. Maybe that was his plan to get me off yahoo looking for other men??? I don’t know but I am so tired of being his game and he pushes it to the limits. I think I am just gonna walk away from it before long. He does love sex I realize that. I think that most taurus men do. But he himself has never crossed that line on the subject. He has always had some other name to do that and he was hiding behind so he didnt have to be himself. I don’t know! Can’t tell you what is going through his mind anymore all I know is I am almost to the point of giving up!

  534. #534 by InloveCancer on October 16, 2009 - 12:28 am

    Hi guys,

    I’m back after crazy days with my exams. I’m sorry was so busy to have any comment or update.

    Lioness, Im so mad for you, but my Taurus man is the same. Everytime I talk serious things about us and how I feel, how I’m pissed off. All he did was just keep silent, and tell me goodnite. That is ridiculous. You know, everynite, he tell me goodnite, but he didnt do or say anything else beside that. I emotionally gave up already. I don’t think about him alot like before anymore, and I try not to contact or say anything to him. Yet, I’m still waiting to see wat he gonna do when he is back to town. Datz is why I’m hangin there.

    I think he doesn’t deserve my love and feelings for him at all. But guys know wat? He keeps calling me baby, I’m so so so so mad. I want to tell him to stop call me baby, but I don’t want to talk about it anymore. So I just tell him goodnite everytime he chat with me. Now he is no longer texting or calling me, not all at. He only chat with me like right before he goes to bed. I really hate him. I’m so tired now with my exams, I just got all done today, now I need to sleep abit. I’ll talk to ya later. BTW I’m Asian too… lolzz

  535. #535 by Lioness on October 16, 2009 - 12:30 am

    Was leaving tonight to go somewhere….. My taurus guy is coming home from work I am out in the parking lot leaving he blocks me in so I can’t get out of the driveway! What is his deal? Then since I cant go forward or I will run into him I stop let him pass and he waves as he is looking at me in his rearview mirror! What is with this the guy never pulls in that side of the parking lot there are 2 exits. I cannot believe he did that I was like wtf I gotta go it was like he was not wanting me to leave but when I came home of course he was gone to the bar it is thursday! He is some piece of work my friends make fun of him saying he has DID or something with all of these personalities that he has on yahoo I mean I am beginning to not keep them all straight. Is he that scared or that insecure? I mean my ex had alot of names on yahoo too that he messed with women with when he was drunk or when he was unhappy he had like 4 or 5 different names running on their and he was a pisces. I feel like just dropping him all together but there is just a strong connection but I don’t want to go through this I want someone who is gonna be there for me and I don’t know if he is that someone anymore.

  536. #536 by Confused Virgo on October 16, 2009 - 3:32 am

    Oh my goodness, it is SUCH a relief to read this!! I have been recently getting to know a Taurus bloke who I really like, and who I believe likes me – but he’s all over the place! One minute he’s calling twice to arrange coffee, the next he’s left the city for 2 weeks and when he gets back, sees me on the street and simply wishes me a good week! Driving me crazy!

    That Katy Perry song Hot N Cold never rang so true. But reading these comments has made me see things in a new light – like maybe that’s just the way he is as opposed to how he feels about me… well maybe not, but hey! He just messaged me for coffee so here’s hoping. I’m just not pushing him at all and letting him take things at his pace. This is really hard as I naturally want to know how he feels etc., but I’m being v disciplined! Y’all would be proud. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  537. #537 by saggi girl on October 16, 2009 - 1:30 pm

    InloveCancer,

    nice to know you are an asian too….dating another cultural taurus?????

    hope you are doing well with your test..

  538. #538 by Lioness on October 16, 2009 - 2:32 pm

    I think we girls are all in the same boat here… as for my taurus man I am totally pissed at him and I don’t even want to see him or talk to his alter ego split personalities on yahoo! He needs his meds for sure or something I just want him to be real with me and obviously I guess I am expecting too much because I am not getting it at all. I don’t know if he is doing this for attention or if I was just a game to him but either way I am sick of it. I refuse to be a sidegirl to anyone or anyones doormat. I wish that he would come around but I am thinking its never gonna happen. So it was just wasted time on one man but lesson learned will never do it again and this time be more guarded with who I let in! I still can’t get over he blocked me in the driveway I think he did it to piss me off but oh well he can get the cold shoulder from me from now on!

  539. #539 by Lioness on October 18, 2009 - 2:30 am

    Whats up guys??? Well I had to start using my old name on yahoo because I am so sick of all the games from my taurus guy. He is trying to spin everything around on my now and make it look like it is all in my head when we talked online. I know that it is him playing games with me. I am sick of the games and everything. I mean come on does he hate me this much or what did I ever do to him to ever deserve this? Why do they act like such jerks?

  540. #540 by Confused Libra on October 20, 2009 - 4:56 pm

    Hi Girls:

    Last week was very much a roller coaster ride with my Taurus. We had saw each other 4 times last week from Sunday to Sunday and I finally built up my courage to talk to him about what was bothering me. He said that he agreed that what we are doing is dangerous (meaning only sees each other once a week and end up having sex) and that we both feel there is more sexual attraction than emotional attraction. I asked if he is willing to work together and bring emotional attraction to good level and he said yes. I asked him what he thinks would be a good way to do so since it’s really hard to leave his children during the week to do anything outside the house with me (it seems like he is caring for his children most of the time, he drops them off and picks them up, she cooks dinner and he takes them for bath and bed). and he might be able to do a couple of hours during the weekend with me and his middle child is having some issues and getting out of hand so he’d like to spend sometime with her to get her back on track. I understand all that and I think it is wonderful that he puts his children first. I also told him that I can not continue to see him if SEX is all there is. He said of course there is more than just sex. I told him that I need more connection during the week and asked him if he is willing to work on it together. He said “I think so”. I told him that i was confused because it’s either i want to work on it or not wanting to work on it. He said yes and that he would like to work on building a relationship together. Even after that talk we had on Saturday night, he still makes no attempt to call me or text me or anything. Last night, it took 3 texts and a voicemail to get him a “thank you, i got it :” text back after dropping off dinner at his place. What is up with this guy? does he just have slower processor.

    I made myself clear that I am looking for someone to grow old with and a life partner. If SEX is all there is, i’d rather cut my lost now and stop investing emotionally and physically because this does not work out for me. I also told him that to feel free and say what he wants and that my word is very important to me, i honor my word and hope that we can work on this together too.

    It’s been a few days, what do i do now? Patience?

  541. #541 by Lioness on October 21, 2009 - 1:29 am

    Confused Libra,
    I would cut your losses esp since this guy is married and he is just using you to fulfill his sex life since he doesn’t have much of one at home it sounds like. Taurus men are good at not responding mine doesn’t respond to me either under his own name on yahoo but he will talk to me under his “other personalities” that he has formed to make me think that I am talking to someone else or that I am simply crazy. I wish that they were different but it seems that Taurus men are very insecure about themselves they may not show it when you talk to them but they put on a good front I have noticed too that they are very good bullshi**ers too! Just be careful and watch yourself and make sure that you are not being used, I wouldn’t allow myself to be anyones side girl for anything but that is me and everyone is different! I hope I am not being harsh but I mean well…..

  542. #542 by Leo on October 22, 2009 - 11:30 pm

    Girls I have to say to all of you that you made my day when I found this site and reading all of your experiences. Please do post as much as you can.

    Lionsroar, being a lion myself I really enjoyed your story especially since I can sense your character is very similar to mine. Please come around again and make an update you kind of disappeared? I must tell you that your taurian is very interested in you it is just that he wants you to make the first move into opening up your heart. I admit it is hard for you to do it since you are very proud and afraid of loosing control. But, in that we are similar to the Tauruses males.

    Unlike all of you, I have been chased by Taurus males all my life. For some strange reason, they are very drawn to me and I have always found them totally uninteresting and unattractive for me and annoying at that. I have one best male friend Taurus (enjoy his friendship-but absolutely nothing more than that) who I sense has strong affection towards me, I have had once another friend Taurus who was head over heels for me and was so determined and stubborn that he will make me his girlfriend he was really trying hard to do that for 3 years constantly every time we were hanging around (we were in a same friendโ€™s company) he would try to kiss me and every time I would rejected him and it became like a usual habit he will try to kiss me, I will deny him and on and on every time we saw each other he was driving me crazy (but from a negative point of view) until he finally realized that nothing will happen between the two of us.

    Once I dated a Taurus but when I met him i hated him so much and couldnโ€™t stand him literally!!! But god damn he was so determined and persistent he will catch me and he decided to turn the whole world in the other direction just to catch me. And I was like in a very difficult period at that time so I opened up my heart to him (but I knew it will be my transitory boyfriend) even though he waned to marry me and see me as a mother who will raise her children on the right path. I escaped from him when I went to another country for indefinite time and he couldnโ€™t impose his subtle control over me any more.

    And now just boom!!!! It is like all the bad karma what I have done to the taurian guys is coming back to me!!!

    Now I am being a single girl and deep inside me a bit disappointed that I cannot find interesting enough person for me (and I was feeling like guys are not that interested in me any more) and then just out of the blue one astonishingly beautiful guy, and sexy and very confident approaches me with a drink and says โ€œyou are so familiar to me from somewhere?โ€ I was like you are so familiar to me too. like I know you but I cannot remember from where and then we started talking about whole our past lives, where we studied where we hanged out and etc trying to find anything in common. (I felt like I know him from our past life but never told him so). We had a great time. Nothing happened and I left home. I didnโ€™t even asked for his name that night out of so much enthusiasm that I met such a guy. Luckily the friends who were with me that night remembered the name of that guy and I quickly found him on myspace. We went out again had a great time and he was showing interest in me very straightforward and was hitting on me all night long and couldnโ€™t take his eyes out of me. All of a sudden a major shift in my life. Lots of men started hitting on me including someone close to him and like all males started behaving like I am the last single girl on this planet earth!!!! Even my old friends started hitting on me saying like “I have no idea what have happened to you but you simply sparkle.” As I am very extroverted person and generous I do not know how to deal with all those males around me and I have to say I AM NOT INTERESTED INTO ANY OF THEM!!! But what is wrong with all those man!?!?!??1?!? Is it possible that love can make such a change in you and so positive change that everybody around can notice?!??!?!

    But all of a sudden when this Taurus guy saw so many males around me he withdraw back and I saw him once more and that night both he and his colleague were hitting on me at the same time it just became too complicated for me that I runned away from both of them. After that nothing, he simply disappeared. I texted him though (he always replies to my messages and ssays lets go out and have fun sometime) and that is it. He stopped writing to me and I havenโ€™t seen him for one month. I think he might feel I am not the right for him (that I am very flirtous-socialable too loud and extrovert and etc) and that is why he withdraw and stopped bothering about me (but it is just so very wrong) I am so lustful about him canโ€™t help myself thinking about him every minute of the day. Girls I think I am stuck and I have taken a very very wrong direction and keep drowning in it.
    HELP!!!!

  543. #543 by Lioness on October 23, 2009 - 2:15 pm

    Leo,
    I feel your pain I am a Lion myself so I know what you are going through!!! I felt like I was going in a wrong direction too but there is just something about the taurus man that gets me! I know that I am drowning face down I am very mad at mine for pretending to be other people and playing games and stringing me along….. then I tried to make him jealous by saying I had a fling and now he has this married woman over at his place and he has been gone all night and all day! It is all out of control but he still gets jealous still was checking up on me through my friend to see where she was be he knows that I ride with her alot…. I wrote mine a message asking him what his angle was and why was he had all of these personalities and stringing me along and told him I had had enough! I have a hard time with my feelings also it was very hard for me to tell him that I liked him in the first place. I am very guarded too I like to drive people away it seems like and I will pick fights and everything to do so! In your case, I see alot of similarities I also have another male friend who is a taurus and I have no interest in him what so ever but I think he is attracted to me also he is also wanting me to do something or whatever but I am not interested….. as for the guy you are interested in I see the same thing with my taurus they are jealous and so they will make themselves feel better in anyway that they can they are like us!!! Like having a one nite stand getting in a relationship that you know isn’t gonna go anywhere and so on to make themselves feel better. Taurus men like the thrill and like the chase and they are very insecure people on the inside they don’t show it on the outside but they are….. They also like to play alot of games, they sit back and watch things too… I was in a chatroom under an alias that mine didn’t know he found me everytime! I have no idea why he plays these games or really what the deal is but it is getting old and I ended it…… Taurus men get really moody too they have these extreme moods where it is like pulling teeth to talk to them or whatever it is almost like bipolar but its not! Just let your Taurus guy that you still care and you want him from time to time and he will come around…… Good luck!

  544. #544 by Confused Libra on October 23, 2009 - 10:01 pm

    Update on My Taurus and I:

    Much confusion laying ahead.

    He took me out on my birthday after I had plan to go to Seattle for a half day trip (knowing he wants to spend time with me that morning). The restaurant of his choice and I ended up waiting for him for 15 minutes at the train station in the dark. It really isn’t much of where we chose to spend time together but I’d like to think that he’d care to ask if i have a preference without me having to ask him if i have a choice. That’s another thing and I don’t think much of it and his personality starts to show.

    We watched a movie this Wednesday night and we discussed some issues after while in bed (and no SEX). I asked him if we’d work together to increase our emotional intimacy as we had briefly discussed during my birthday dinner and how. He said one way is to hold off the sex and he fears that once we withheld the sex, part of the mental attraction will fade away as it seems like to be his strongest attraction to me. He admits that there is a 80/20 attraction for Physical/Mental. At some point during our conversation, I was sad (not upset) and I rolled away crying. He rolled toward me and embrace me with his body. His son woke up so I decided to leave while he attended to him, I think it was around 2am. Then next day, I sent him a text message asking him to call me during his down town at work. I asked him two questions.

    1. base on what he said about his fear of losing mental attraction when sex is being withheld, does this mean SEX is the only thing he is in for?
    2. If it is not the only thing that he is in for, does he have the interest and wellness to see what else is there through active communication?

    His response were the following
    1. Yes and No and there is a 80/20 attraction base on physical and mental
    2. He wants to but not sure if he can. and now he is not sure if he is even ready for a long term relationship.

    My response, it’s YES and NO question, I am confused of his response on question 1 and there is nothing long term if we can’t work together on short term for questions number 2. He said he certainly agrees of my point.

    At the end, i asked him what he thought would be good for both of us. He wants to not see each other for 2 weeks and communicate via phone/email as desired. This lays more confusion and i am not sure if that means I should contacts him or that he will contact me?

    I emailed him and asked him for clear 4 things or me
    1. what are the purpose of our pause period? and what do we want to achieve? If we both want to use this time to build up emotional intimacy, then active communication is needed meaning we’ll need to communicate on a regular bases. If this is not what he has in mind, he’ll need to make it clear.
    2. what happens when one of us have more desire to communicate and the other doesn’t? for example, i initiated more than 90% of the communication in the last month. what happens when there is no response from the other party after several, say three attempts? Do we want the other party to try again in a day or two or do we just let the communication die down?
    3. What does he want us to do after the pause period? Do we try to reconnect with each other even if both of us have no desire to establish communication? or do we want to spend some time together to sort out the possibilities after some alone time to ourselves.
    4. Will he be open to extend the pause period if one of us feel more time is needed if building a solid emotional bond is what we both long for?

    His last question to me over the phone yesterday was:

    How long would I tolerate this situation?(meaning that he is still married to his wife, have children, and hectic schedule, plus his main attraction to me is physical although he is not shy to say that there are more than physical attraction and we thoroughly enjoy each others company)

    I told him that I understand and know his children will always come first, his children’s mother is there to stay in his life forever and because of the history they had together, i will respect whatever choices and agreements he has with her. To answer his question, I told him that I DONT TOLERATE, I will accept and be happy with it for as long as we both have the willingness to work things out together. and I will not Tolerate nor will I accept a relationship built solely on SEX.

    I am anxious to hear about his responses to my 4 questions and the last thing he said after I answered his question on how far i’d go to tolerate our current situation was “REMARKABLE” so i think this is a compliment.

  545. #545 by SCORPIO on October 27, 2009 - 3:25 pm

    I am so confused, I married a Tarus man, have 2 daughters, 2 dogs, and a home,i have been married since 1986, I am working a part time job, my husband is unemployed (machinist). He is very stobborn, dosent want to talk to me, all that we do is fight/argue, he dosent seem to want to find a job, when i say something to him about finding a job he tells me that he is making more than me on unemployment, but i also inform him that his unemployment is going to run out in DEC. then i will be making more than him. I found condoms in his coat pocket that he said he picked up along the road, he watches tv and drinks alot. I want to stay in this marriage because i love him and for my daughters but I getting very frustrated because he will not talk to me.please help me decide what to do.SCORPIO

  546. #546 by saggi girl on October 27, 2009 - 5:55 pm

    Scorpio,

    i am sorry to hear that about your marriage. The funny part is that we have been hoping that we can get someone here who can share their experience about how she got his taurus in marriage. well, it seems that taurus is a trouble in every stages no matter what the relationship status are.

    Based on my limited experience( i am dating a taurus who was seperating from his wife) is that you need to stop treating him nice and then he will feel that he is losing you. that is when he will thinking with a sense.

    Taurus is not going to leave you for another woman if he is already in marriage as they do not like to change. but you need to make him to be in shock that you are going to leave him, then he will start thinking of changing in case he will lose you.

    well, that is the only thing i can think of based on my taurus’s thought as far as i can see. when he mentioned to me about his going-to-be ex wife, what he said makes me think this way…hope it will help.

  547. #547 by lionsroar on October 28, 2009 - 12:52 am

    WOW WOW WOW…. Hello new friends and old! I havent been here in what seems like eternity but like a pair of favorite shoes, everyone is still here and comfortable as hell. Well I’ve been reading over some of the new stuff and re-reading the old. Mine included. How fun! First and foremost anyone messing around with someone married or recently out of at relationship no less than 6 months. Put your hand out and offer friendship and put the other one over your mouth and shut up. Not worth it, dont share yourself with someone that isnt capable of sharing back! Men are like women regardless of a zodiac sign. C’mon girls, if we want it..we get it! If there is a will you better be damn sure we will find a way. Dont sell yourself short. If you died tomorrow do you want this bullshit to be your last thoughs. I certaintly hope the answer is no. A man that does not want to give 100% doesnt. A man that does not want to meet you half way ..doesnt. They do what you let them do. Period. It’s a dance; you move left, they move right. Like children on a tetrer totter; one goes up, the other falls down. Ok So now that I have woke everyone up. All of you need to take a night off.

  548. #548 by lionsroar on October 28, 2009 - 1:08 am

    sorry page 2, in a airport and my netbook BLOWS!… Ok night off.. please for the sake of yourselves. Go shopping, grab a spa day, your favorite food, movie buy some great undergarments.. nothing feels better than new socks, bra’s, underware.. treat yourself. Get bombed, cry, yap on the phone ..whatever. Just lover yourself for the night.. BE SELFISH! If you need a hug, hug yourseelf! Trust me, it works! Ok.. do I still have the bull? Bet your ass and I also still have all my friends and a full social calender. Going on 9 months and I was wishingnot to long ago
    he would say, goodbye. But guess what, the more I would say, “not a problem, maybe another time, no big deal..” blah blah the more he came around. Moral of the story Taurus,Leo, Virgo all of them are like all of us.. THE MORE YOU CANT HAVE SOMETHING TOTALLY..THE MORE YOU CRAVE IT! Bottom line, if your meant to be, you will be! Ladies relax, look in the mirror and be thankful for a healthy mind, body and healthy friendships and relationships.. stay in that place and that is what you will draw into your world. No worries. Your all worth it, dont sell yourself short, be honest to yourself and know there is someone out there for you, the universe just hasnt freed them up yet. Its coming and it’ll be fabulous. For me I have no idea but I know nothing happens on chance and I have grown and learned so much and it will be worth it. But being the Leo I am.. yah those Taurus guys’ silent but deadly, very jealous and just too damn sweet with their steady demeanor. Kinda like Chocolate! hahaha

  549. #549 by lionsroar on October 28, 2009 - 1:26 am

    I’m gonna whip this thing across the airport. erghh… Ok yah I’m yappy tonight 3 glasses of wine and facing a 12 hour flight. yuck-o..have to finish up boarding soon. Anyway, The bull still loves his man-cave, but now ventures out LOTS with me, also.. he’s lost the crap.. perhaps he figured out that a Lion can take a bull down in more ways than one. Also, he has strangely morphed into THE MOST GENEROUS MAN I have even been with. I can no longer even attempt to offer to buy anything. Hey I’m not bitchen, I’m worth it :). Also I have come to realize if I go somewhere with a male friend that he has never been he immediately states he always wanted to go there and perhaps we should. Case and Point I wont get home untill tomorrow from this business trip from hell but when I do I will be greeted by him the day after with a fabulous weekend he has been planning for he and I to go to a place that I just visited with a male friend two weeks ago. Like I said.. like us, breaks every bone in your body to get what you want.. Funniest part I stopped wanting him months ago and now he is showing me the sides of him I thought were there but gave up on because of his aloof style. I’m a leo, I love large, live large and love myself unconditionally. If you do not enhance my life you do not deserve a key to the kingdom but I will give you friendship. If you caught these guys attention back in the beginiing it was because you were your true self. Not obsessing about a relationship. Go back to being you, he’ll pick up the scent or hopefully get the hell out of the way so the right man can! Ok..gotta jet. SO HATE FLYING!!!!! XO

  550. #550 by เนˆJess on October 28, 2009 - 3:07 am

    WoW WoW WoW!!! Looks who is here!

    So glad to hear from you again Lionsroar! ๐Ÿ˜€

    And you are absolutely right again that men are like women regardless of signs! Oh yeah flying suck! I hate it too. 12 hours.. yike! Being impatient like me, anything more than 3 hours is already not acceptable! LOL.

    I’m just back from another trip with my Taurus. Very nice and very tired because we ride around so much with motorcycle to explor the city, never got so much aching in the butt like this before… lol.

    Take care everyone!

  551. #551 by V on October 29, 2009 - 5:14 am

    interesting…! kept an eye on this site for a lil while.

    im also a taurus girl. new to this taurus-taurus relationship thing.. lol. 2months so far.. ( I THINK!) &already ive become nervous and fustrated wit this taurus of mine. first couple weeks went very well… then i had to go long distance.(&why is it we “usually” deal wit taurus men long distAnce?) anyways.. he gave me his word.. he wants a relationship & said he hopes we make it together all the way even for marriage of corse. Now weve sort of lost some communicaiton through telephone/email. i get info on how his phone broke and he had lost my number.. & had asked my cousin for my number….( could be true or it could be a lie) know the easy excuse of “broken phone”. who knows just yet. ive been taken it easy for some time now… but its really gettin to me NNOOOWWW!!
    i wanna know wtf.. should i wait..i know i can wait..i can understand but i dont wanna waste my time “again” like i did wit the last m.f. waited “patiently” until i found out he had gotten engaged to someone else while playing these fuckn games wit others.(was the aries one by the way).

    it can be tricky.. put all your trust in him and who knows wat happens next. i can feel the same way as the taurus man but just because im taurus too deosnt mean we are going to be 100% alike.. yes i have to say, i do get moody &shit.. most of the time i can be good happy nice… but when i have things running through my head about this relationship on how its going to be.. how will it go..am i really happy wit him or am i just being fooled by his attractivness(LoL).
    is it that difficult for him to just let me know wats up and all just so i know hes still there for me..am i right!? oh or maybe we can be a lil too lazy to really reply to our lovers even though we care!>?! idk.
    i can become veryyy bitchy and angry & i wanna see him but i cant.. i wanna do other things too besides just himhimhimm.. idk i get angry cuz i cant do them freely cuz i love him &just thinking of him. so its confusing to why we get very moody &changes. iv notice i usually get like this when i have a fear of loss…of corse im affraid to loose him after ive agreed to stick wit him now&forever.. so to loose will be bad change. &this is it I REALLYYYY do love him..
    i will have faith in him that he will keep his word like i am keepin mine for him. its just that time is too valuable to loose if some deoesnt keep there word and thats the main scarey part were all worried about. patience is good but toooo longgggggg can actually drive me crazyy to wasted time waitin…thinkin about him 24/7.. but no knowing if even thinkin of me damn it!

    omg..they do say taurus have good memory so is it possible for him to forget me! ohhhmyyy huh cuz usually i dont forget….. So he shouldnt also

  552. #552 by saggi girl on October 29, 2009 - 1:52 pm

    Hi V.

    it is funny that you are a taurus dealing with another taurus and got fraustrated with his behavior. did you guy get back on communication again? or you are still waiting for him to call or his phone is still broken? if you have already been back on communication again, let the past go for now… but be cautious and watch his behavior…

    I am sure if a taurus want you, he will find a way to find you. It could be true that he lost your number( but he could email you right?) or it could be just a lie that he met someone else or he got what he wanted( it depends how close you are to him now) or he got scared that he promised something too quick. Mine was talking about moving in with me at the beginning and then he backed off after he visited his father. I think it might just be his excuse to get away from you to simmer on his feeling when you are not around…

    i do not know, it is just my brainstorming…. Hope you are doing ok..

  553. #553 by V on October 30, 2009 - 12:50 am

    hahah yea thx saggi girl. i think it really doesnt matter if your the same sign girls r different from guys and will most likely react wayy different but w/e. the other funny thing is if we just dont give a damn like the guys maybe theyll care more & come closer to us! ??… im gonna have to wait it out a lil longer cuz idk wat to say anymore huhh
    lol i feel i should share a dream i had last night…
    in my dream both me & my taurus were holding eachother sideways just smiling happily at eachother in a small restroom..! (ohh shitt i hope this isnt a bad symbol) like they say our dreams can also be a part of our reality we are livin tryin to tell us something. w/e who knows. =)

  554. #554 by Jena Ali on October 30, 2009 - 12:15 pm

    Jena ali,

    Hi all,

    Wellcome abroad V.
    Saggy girl i am 100% agreed with you about taurus that it might just be his excuse to get away from V to simmer on his feeling when she is not aroundโ€ฆ Mine did that too with me.
    V wait for him to contact first he will! i am sure soon he will start missing something & will turn his bull head to see around. (just sms your concern once and than stay still)

    I can so relate to V’s phone scene its really astonishing that mine told me EXACTLY THE SAME and you know what when i caught his lie by telling him “you could have mailed me and you actually proved by your actions that you are not in love with me as you says”. He replied bluntly that i was trying to create a distance as we are so fast in our relationship and we need to slow down actually he was trying to evaluate his own feelings about me that was it love, simply a crush or something more deep?
    Any way he is still around because of my strategy of being ignorant most of the time or you can say the Push and Pull thing.
    lionsroar is so right as to have your own life just treat him as you treated him when you first met him when the less feelings were involved. Just be casual and don’t worry shift all the hard work to him if he is interested he will come running other wise this relationship will tear you apart and you will lose your confidence in yourself as mine has become a bit shaky now in just 8 months time. I did a terrible mistake of showing my love in return to him that ruined his desire to knock me down or pursue me “MAN LOVES THE GIRL WHO’S LOVE AND AFFECTION WILL BE GIVEN TO HIM AS A TROPHY” this i have come to know after so many mistakes and the damage already done in my relationship with my taurus
    I so truly want yours to be a wonderful one.
    I am so hope less with mine as now i have found out what went wrong but i love him so much I am looking forward to buy that CATCH HIM & KEEP HIM e-book .
    DO ANY ONE HAS IT AND IS IT WORTH BUYING?
    Please advise me on that!!! As i don’t know what to do as he has started to share and talk less and less and is not open emotionally as used to be before. or please advise me how to be connected to him emotionally is this book will really be helpful in this regard? by the way i am also an Asian girl living in Asia & order this book from U.S. is really really expensive for me!!!
    Just don”t Know how to win him back

  555. #555 by saggi girl on October 30, 2009 - 2:15 pm

    Jena Ali,
    glad to know you are an asian too. Are you dating a taurus from a different culture. if so, that would be even tougher…

    I have never read that entire book but glanced a little bit. In general, it was just talking about ” women need to have their own life and always be confident. do not be needy and demanding. and always keep yourself busy. Do not talk a guy into a relationship but creat a atmosphere to draw a guy in.. Emotional talk does not work with a guy if he does not feel the same way as you felt for him, it will scare him away eventually.”

    something is like this throughout the book, but i would think if you need a little bit education, you probably can order the book online… it does help me a little bit when my taurus was dealing with temporary school assignment when we first dated… God, i was like a needy girl, he said ” no guy can deal with this kind of girl.” Actually, we broke up right after that, as i can not control my feeling for him and wanted his attention whenever i felt like it, i was not stable and one minute we were ok and then next minute i called him to find out where we were standing…I was kind of treating him as the center of my life… Since my taurus comes from western culture, they are more independent, which makes me to him as a needy person… he told me that i stressed him out…

    But i adjusted myself after reading a few books, focusing on myself and be happy with myself, then we are closer to each other little by little, i still asked him some emotional questions, but i can see he is ok with it now… and he told me that i changed a lot…

    one thing is important for us to remember is that do not ever lose yourself for a man, you can love him but not lose yourself for him like Lionsroar said that a guy was drawn to you by your identity when he first met you, but if you lost your identity, there is no more reason for them to stay for… as the thing there were drawn into you at the first place was gone..

    Love a person with a respect for yourself…

  556. #556 by Lioness on October 30, 2009 - 9:05 pm

    I totally agree with you Lionsroar….. I think the taurus man likes the domination. They want more of you when they think that you don’t care and they want less of you when they think that you are all over them….. I have began to not give a shit anymore about what my taurus man does and he seems to be coming back for more and more…..

  557. #557 by lionsroar on October 31, 2009 - 1:11 pm

    Lioness (and all) saw my living statue(ha they all seem to be built that way dont they) briefly last night. Yep we will be traveling.. However he appeared to have that sense of power and control is mine attitude. I think because I met so quickly after my trip. Long story short typical, blah blah, yadda, yadda evening. Very nice. Towards the end I mad a comment being funny saying something to the tune of “why is it always your way, selfish man..dont you know Im use to always getting my way”.. Mind you I was smiling and laughing.. WOW..talk about the living statue turning to stone.Damn! he replied “well I’m not your last guy” with a very stern face. I was like, Oh shit!! We werent talking about pasts/partners.. I NEVER DO THAT, I like the past to stay there and I dont want to know his. Unless he was jack the ripper in a past life, I dont care. Anyway god knows I hate to be put in my place or scolded so I smiled and looked at him and said, “hmm… maybe you better start being a little nicer, the other guy is out there, and with that shitty attitude your going to replace him with the new title of MY LAST GUY”.. hahaha.. Cant wait to see how long it take to hear from him now… touche!!! Halloween here in the states, Happy Halloween everyone.. be safe and have a great day. dont forget your mantra’s “I want to be happy, I want to be healthy, I want healthy relationships.. I accept all things and people into my life that are good”….. Peace out.

  558. #558 by Lioness on November 2, 2009 - 3:49 am

    thanks Lionsroar…..
    I am so tired of my taurus mans games I have had quite enough!!! My taurus got so jealous when I told him that I went out and screwed someone else…. We aren’t even together he has god knows how many different personalities on yahoo I told one of his personalities that I screwed someone and he about went unglued I mean he was so jealous he wanted to know why I didnt bring the guy back to my place and everything! He even told me to stop my shit! I told him to stop his and has he done it of course not! I mean he is out having one night stands all the time and he is never home on the weekends I wrote him a message tonite telling him that this was my last attempt for him to be with me otherwise he has got to go! I don’t expect him to do anything he will probably try to talk to me with his personalities but I will get rid of them too…… I have no idea why taurus men are so insecure and why they have to play so many games.. Why everything has to be so hard to be with them…..You have to wait and wait for them but if you are doing the same thing as them they sure don’t like it at all. I am not the one to be controlled and he can have the one night stands for all I care if he doesnt make up his mind…..he is the one losing out that is for sure!

  559. #559 by V on November 6, 2009 - 2:00 am

    yepp time did work..patience… just doing my own thing stayin relaxed happy…..& hes backk! ๐Ÿ™‚ finally heard from him… got all the answers,& its good now.
    g’luck to the rest of you ๐Ÿ˜‰

  560. #560 by teenscorp on November 6, 2009 - 7:16 pm

    I am only 16 and recently got dumped by my Taurus boyfriend, also 16. I know I’m young, but I really loved this boy and I thought he loved me too. We only went out for 5 months, but I really felt like I had found my soul-mate. We had a great summer and then school started and everything started to fall apart. We never had sex, but we did get to second base. Right before school started, my mother got a phone call from his mother saying that she thought the relationship was going too fast (she had read his text messages). Two days later school started. We go to different schools and I was starting a new school. I started telling him about all the new people I was meeting, and yeah I made the mistake of saying that there were a lot of cute guys. I know, I know. What was I thinking. Well, right after that and the phone call from his mother, he started acting weird. He didn’t want to do things anymore; he seemed distant and disinterested in everything I had to say. He told me some of the things I said were ‘irrelevant”. I thought he was just busy with school and soccer and his guy friends. I tried not to be smothering. We saw each other a lot during the summer, so it was becoming frustrating to me not to able to see him. I would see him once about every two to three weeks. In the meantime, I went out with my girl friends. When we did see each other, we had a good time, but he didn’t want to make out or anything. He told me I was obsessesed with him and the idea of sex. This is after he brought up the subject of sex, and I told him I didn’t want to have sex because I was too young and afraid. WTF. Oh, and he also told me that I was obsessed with him. This is the same boy who asked me during the summer what I would say if he asked me to marry him. He told me he thought about us being married and living together when he got older. Everynight he texted me and told me he loved me. So, anyway, one day he texted me and we were talking. I said something and he replied so. I lost it and said “you know when you say that to me, that makes me feel like you don’t like me, you’re not interested in anything I have to say”. I blurted out that maybe we needed a break. He jumped at that, and broke up with me. He said his feelings had changed. He said he was glad he met me, I was a good person and was going to make some other guy really happy. I was devastated. I emailed him 2 days later, to apologize (for what?) and told him that I loved him even though he didn’t love me and I know I can’t change that. I reminded him of all the good times and asked if maybe we could remain friends. I never heard from him. I waited 2 weeks, and couldn’t take it any longer. So I texted him again (on my birthday). I told him that I was going to unfriend him facebook, because it was too hard for me to pretend he was my friend and I didn’t want to see pictures of him and any new girlfriends. I told him I was confused about what happened. I asked him if he got my email and he said he did, but didn’t respond because “it’s not like we’re dating or even communicating with each other.” Then, he said “It’s not like we’re going to get back together anytime soon, and my contacting him wasn’t going to change that.” OMG, then he got so mean. Of course, he denied ever talking about getting married in the future–told me it was all in my head and I twisted what he said. He told me to forget about him, not to text him anymore because he wasnt’ going to respond to me and then he told me “I just realized that I don’t like you at all and I’m not attracted to you in anyway”. He told me to unfriend me or he would delete me as a friend. I told him my friends were right, he is an a__hole. then I went downstairs and unfriended him. It’s been 2 weeks and we haven’t had any contact. I have no intention of contacting him again. but I keep hoping that he will contact me. I don’t know if I would go back to him or not at this point. He hurt me so much. But I do still love him and can’t really believe he meant those things he said to me. I can’t believe he said I was obsessed with sex. A day before he breaks up with me, he asks me when I think I might be ready to have sex! I feel used and lied to. I really wanted to believe him and I really did think we had a future together. I know we’re only 16, but I really thought of him as my best friend and soul mate. I told him things I never told anyone else. I really miss him and wonder if he misses me and thinks at all about me. I guess I need to take his advice and forget him and move on.

  561. #561 by Jess on November 6, 2009 - 7:30 pm

    Ladies,

    Tonight is the first time my Taurus told me he loves me, it was supposed to be the ‘I love you too’ moment for me but I called it over. I couldn’t take it anymore. Its been a while that I feel the more we fall for each other, the more he manipulate me even what I should and should not feel… and it happened again tonight.

    The sad part is I don’t know if I’m sad or not… I know I want to be with him but I can’t lose myself to be with him. Its so extreme feeling that one moment he made me feel the great love, the next minute I feel like suffocating… He is the great guy but he is also the ass…

    I don’t want to feel extremely up and down like this.

    I just parted with him and so tired to write more in details. I need some sleep and hope I realize better tomorrow if i made the right decision.

  562. #562 by Jess on November 6, 2009 - 7:48 pm

    I don’t know I did the right decision. In one way he has been so nice and sweet to me with his strong will I never seen in any guys and the fact that he keeps his promise, he improves and did what he told me since his birthday in May.

    But like a second personality, he always make mean and rude joke, which I’m ok in normal time but when i was in stress or in a bad shape, he still give me the ass joke….. the worse thing is he knew that well but refuse to change because he thinks I’m too sensitive and need help (he think he is the oonly ne who can help) and he thinks his way is the best!

    Oh mind…. i’m giving up but so confused.

  563. #563 by saggi girl on November 13, 2009 - 5:06 pm

    Hi Jess,

    what had happened? you mentioned that he said to you that he loves you, which is a good thing, right? then what is the problem??

    i haven’t been here for a while as i though you were disppeared for good…

    hope you are doing ok…Actually, my taurus and i just became official boyfriend and girlfriend 2 weeks ago. things are better but still have dramas along the way…was there any fatal drama relevant to your decision..

  564. #564 by virgo10 on November 13, 2009 - 10:54 pm

    OKay so my situation with my taurus is messed up… I met him at a club and we danced and ended up passionatly making out. We hit it off from the start and started talking a lot and kept in contact for the next week by texting and having hour long talks on the the phone. He asked me out the following friday and it was the PERFECT date! I was super comfortable with him and we had great chemistry. We ended up making out once again but didn’t get intimate. Ever since then we have been keeping in contact either by texting or calling each other. WE take turns it seems, but sometimes he would take forever and then when it seemed that I had given up on him, he would get in touch with me. So it has been 2 months and I still havn’t seen him, he has asked me out twice but i was busy and then i asked him out twice and he was busy :(. I know this whole situation is messed up but we still talk to each other and text like every week…. I am a patient person but damn he is pushing me to my limits…. I am a virgo and I know we are very compatible with taurus, and I strongly believe it because he is my ideal guy and it scares me because i am falling for him HARD…. I want to wait it out but I want more from him soon. I don’t want to ask him out again because I don’t want him to think I am desperate but I want to know how he feels about me. Should I just give up?? Perhaps he isn’t interested in me, but then why does he keep on calling/texting me if we havn’t seen each other in 2 months?

  565. #565 by HealerGirl on November 16, 2009 - 2:46 pm

    I’m in the process of going through a divorce with a Scorpio…so while I am a very strong, stable woman, I’ve been through years of Scorpio mindgames where every honest piece of information I’ve ever shared with him has been used back against me at some point. (This divorce is being initiated by my ex…haven’t told him but I’m actually quite thrilled he’s finally fallen out of love with me – who wants his sharp version of love anyway?) I’ve learned a lot though through this bad marriage and am not worried about the rebound thing (never have been one of those girls to go into rebound relationships – a guy has to be uniquely special to me or I just don’t bother with him after the first date or two.) So I was in no rush but figured I’d casually date soon and try to build up my rusty dating skills.

    Well recently met a Taurus, very manly guy who swept me off my feet! He was interested in me years ago but being young and me not realizing he was interested (had no idea at all) – nothing ever happened. We got in touch as friends recently but somehow he was honest enough to tell me he hoped for more. We emailed/talked/texted quite a lot for several weeks. We are different personalities but have A LOT of values & interests in common. He is also divorced although his divorce was many years ago (but obviously has that fear of getting hurt again.) He lives out of town though. Finally saw him to see if any chemistry was there and was surprised that it really was! We had 3 amazing dates. (Kissed & cuddled but I wasn’t ready for sex yet.) I did hear from him after the dates then several times – he even called…but he seemed frustrated at the slow progress of my divorce (it’s moving a long…but Scorpios have to try to ‘sting’ you as much as possible during divorce to show they have the advantage and ensure that if there is anything you value, you will not get that in the divorce…sick, right?)

    Then the dreaded “rubber band” or pulling back stage happened with my Taurus guy who has been my rock up until now. (Although I was careful to not talk too much negative talk about the divorce as preferred to focus on all the good that Taurus and I seem to share in common instead.) I am no good at what to do for this stage of no contact!! Drives me crazy! I am keeping very busy and when I reached out it was a short & positive txt….leaving the door open? I know he’s very interested as he’s let me have a glimpse into his heart by mentioning the future and little things he says almost under his breath but I have a quick mind so catch them ( I’m realistic and realize that men are strange creatures so he could change his mind…but so far it seems like I am “measuring up” to his standards of a woman….and so far he is “measuring up” to what I want in a man.) Maybe since he’s been so honest with me so far that he seems to have serious hopes for us…things were moving too fast for him since it seems from what you gals report Taurus prefers to move very slow on commitment?

    I have seen some of that possessive side (just a tad – I like it though so no issue here.) Pretty sure he’d like to bash my ex for his horrible treatment of me so far during the divorce. I know Taurus checks up on my online social networking activity as he was honest and told me – didn’t bother me. My question is, should I go “dark” and not update my social networking site so often or should I continue what I’m doing with being very honest about updating with some of my many activities? (I’m not a wild child – so it’s mostly creative/family/cooking/watching movie type updates.) Or is him knowing exactly what I’ve been up to just going to keep him out of touch even longer? (Normally I would not update but I don’t want Taurus to get even the slightest thought that I would ever go back to my horrible ex!)

    With Taurus and the way he’s treated me, things he’s hinted, way he’s touched me, and even a surprising level of some openness in his interest in me…can I trust that assuming I don’t go full-on crazy-chick with him (and I won’t) he really seems to be seriously into me for the long term even during these times of no contact? (No way am I going to make the mistake of having a “relationship talk” with him at this super early stage of things so appreciate you gal’s support!)

    Men…they are crazy! lol

  566. #566 by Confused Libra on November 16, 2009 - 7:18 pm

    I think we are back to square one. My Taurus and I had a few up and downs since my birthday. Some week we are closer then ever, we’d see each other a few times and sometimes back to once a week. He seems to be getting sick a lot since his children got sick from school. I am not sure how he feels but he does show interest in knowing me outside the norm (when I come to him after children are in bed), we just had our first lunch date last week when I was finally able to get half a day off. It was interrupted when his son came home sick, we managed to have lunch together and I walked them to the park before returning to work. We wanted to take a little break (his suggestion) but never did follow through and ended up seeing each other 3 times that week. For some reason, i feel he is ignoring my calls, text, and email (even though i don’t really call him, text him, or email him, i’d say average once or twice for every other week). do I confront him? i think its important he knows how i feel about it and hoping to work this out together.

  567. #567 by HealerGirl on November 16, 2009 - 8:00 pm

    Libra, I have no idea! Seems like a couple of women further up in the thread have figured out their taurus men…wish they would respond with advice! Generally speaking relationship talk about where it is heading is bad….but maybe setting boundaries for “here is how I will be treated by a guy I date” is okay? If you haven’t read it yet, you might find it helpful to read the “Light his fire” book…from what I’ve learned from you guys about Taurus men – this book is required reading. Won’t stop him being a Taurus but it will help you maybe bring out his best side?

  568. #568 by Jess on November 17, 2009 - 5:20 pm

    Saggi girl,

    Hi, I’m doing ok, but was away for awhile because I was really busy with life and relationship. I was joining 2 trips with my Taurus guy last month, after that we met pretty often and started to plan for the new year and next year trip. Feelings were getting deeper but the deeper he falls for me, that was when I felt the more he impose his principle on me. He started to control me, manipulate me. It got to the point where he even TOLD me what I should and should not feel/say/act. We ended up with drama where he threw me nasty words and I will be crying.

    He gave me excuse that because he cares so much for me and want to help me to be better. Yes he told me he can’t help because he loves me. But I guess it was all too late, my mind did not jump when i heard the ‘I love you’ word, because I was so hurt and was giving up.

    Saggi girl, I told him I had a bad week as I got ill with high fever, even after i recovered from fever, my body still aching and I had pain from period and dental care. I was not in a mood for anything too heavy. He did not respect my feeling, instead he told me my feeling is biased and exaggerated. He listened to my situation and told me what I should feel….(can u believe that?!) Every time when I told him I didn’t want to go out or didn’t want to do something, he ignored and pushed me to do it, he said if he listened to me and fall for my trap like other guys would do, he would not be here with me now.

    How could you be with a person who manipulate and dictate even your own feelings?!

    The saddest part is that, I miss him terribly and realized that I love him but I don’t know I can change for him and I’m sure he can’t. We both are trying to forget each other because we don’t want to end up dragging each other though a mental drama, it’s trauma!

    PS. I just saw you in another Taurus post in sasstrology, I was checking there also from time to time but it was too crowded, my other name is Beauti&theBull ๐Ÿ˜‰

  569. #569 by Jess on November 17, 2009 - 5:34 pm

    Confused Libra, HealerGirl, and all the ladies,

    You girls really need to take time and take it easy with your own feelings and the thought for the bull. It’s good to try to figure him but be careful because you are setting yourself a trap too, because the more you try to observe and learn about him, the more your mind become occupied and obsessed about him.

    With bulls, you need to set yourself close to reality and nature. It means as much as things can be so sweet and getting better, please remember things can turn out the other way any time any reason. I don’t care what Taureans are capable of and have told you, you need to find it in their ACTIONS! Let them talk the plan, the future but don’t take it serious because it’s so typical for Taurus to talk and gather information for future use but the real question is, WHEN is he really going to practice what he was preaching about… They may talk so good that it sounds like the future is near to come but ladies you better hold out and look for the action.

    Remember one thing which i speak from my experience: Yes Taurus treat you like a princess and care for your feelings BUT it’s always them who take the lead, its always them who call the shot: as when to start, when to stop, when to distant when to get back and what we girls can only do is to reciprocate. You may think you have them and the situation under control but it was actually they let you have it that way because they are busy with their things (work and work and work), wait and see when Taurus look up from work and do the move, you will hope they move to your way and not the other way around because when they don’t move you complain but when they move you can’t stop them!

  570. #570 by saggi girl on November 17, 2009 - 6:44 pm

    hi Jess,

    it is good to hear from you but not the part of his manipulation… the sad part is that we all know they have those traits as long as it does not go too far, it will be ok to stay in for now.. but not the manipulation going to extreme.

    i know how you feel…but I think basically it is about trust. You trust him enough to tell him how you feel, and then he should trust you enough to respect your feeling. But it seems that he does not trust you when you said that you are not feeling well, or not in a mood to go somewhere when he wanted to… I think it is called selfishness…

    or another thought just came across, did you make excuse about how you felt before even with a good intention… then he found out… still got carried away… just wondering..

    how old is he? is he still young? as mine is at his earlier 40s and had the marriage before, he did manipulate but not on this part.. when i said that i did not feel good or something, he will respect that or try to comfor me… but he did manipuate on some other things… but i think it is always the rules we set up in the first place… my problem is always about financial help giving him but right now, i was kind of back off as i no longer feel comfortable doing it…

    i think you need to communicate with him about how you feel and what you expected from him….i know it is too hard for them to change as they are the bull, but i think it is always about communication, did you try to talk to him about how you felt in a serious manner..

    good to know your another ID, so i probably will look for you over there too.
    feel better…Jess

  571. #571 by Jess on November 19, 2009 - 12:01 pm

    saggi girl,

    Thank you girl for your concern. My guy is 36 never married. This is the first time ever that we don’t contact for 10 days. I have to admit I can’t function, I keep messing up my own work, catch the wrong number, wrong room and wrong file. I try to focus on logic and see that it’s the best for us to stop now than later because we both are sure the manipulating emo drama will happen in the future. As much as I wish he would want to give it a try again, I also wish he is stubborn and stop contacting me for good. But today I miss him too much so i got online and sent him a message in a joking manner. Out of my surprise, he replied me almost right away. We can’t stop saying how much we miss each other. Out of my very surprise again, the bull told me “I will try to change his behavior, you know it is because I want to be helpful and want to help with your problem but I wont try to help anymore if you don’t like”

    Before we end the chat, he told me to get more sleep and be prepared because next time we meet I’m gonna be very tired because he is super hot now…lol.

    Look like I’m back on the ride again…LOL but this time it’s going to be different.

    Saggi girl, I know now that I love him. For me this feeling almost never happen and once I get to that feeling, it’s a commitment. I will put down my guard and horn for this guy. I’m worried I can’t change because I know how stubborn I can be but once an Aries is truely in love, she will go to the end of the world for her man…

    I guess my romantic story has just begun, will keep you girls update.

    Peace.

  572. #572 by Jess on November 19, 2009 - 12:18 pm

    Oh saggi girl,

    I don’t post in another website so often because the board is quite busy with many comments, moving fast and I can’t keep up…

  573. #573 by piscesgirl on November 19, 2009 - 3:07 pm

    My Gosh, I’m so glad found this website, n seeing the comments, so longggggg i’d been reading it for an hour and 15 minutes i think, and still not finish yet, hahaha..
    But I cant wait to make a comment as well..

    Well, I also have my taurus guy (actually I think I falling in love w/ him, but I didn’t know about his feeling to me), I met him at college, it’s already 5 months we know each others and become good friends – we almost all d time spent together with our other 3 friends (we are group of 5) – but we never ever went out together outside college time.
    Could anyone tell me how we can noticed if taurus guy have crush to us??and not only want to be friends.. because i so confuse with his act, sometimes he can be so caring, n touch me (once, he use his shoulder to touch my shoulder from my back), he also said i’m smart, and we already set up next semester time table – he really want to be in the same class again w/ me 4 all subjects!! but the things is, he never called me, rarely text me, so in other words we only meet when we have class, but mostly of those time we spent it together.
    And today when i wear skirt (usually i always wear pants or jeans), my friend (is his best friend, a guy as well) said that the taurus guy said i’m looking good today.
    And the other things is, i noticed he lil bit change from his act to me, i meant, lately i noticed he acts become more seriously with me, rarely jocking or palyfully, but he can jock and playfully with my other 2 girlfriends (we group of 5 = 2 guy including him and 3 girls including me) like touch their had or pull their bag, but not with me. and lately he also become more serious in conversation topic, but never ever mention about ‘sensitive one: love, or feelings’ such as our study or job (both of as are job hunter), but i also noticed that he more often ask about my opinion in those things and never seen him asked another girl opinion.
    But what annoying me so much is, when we are just alone (only both of us, without our friends) we often feel awkward (or at least me) – we dont have any conversation material (it’s happened 2 days a go, we silent 1000%).and yesterday when he knows that 1 of my girlfriend moving to new place, he become so curious about her, asked me how she move all her stuff, etc.
    Oh, this makes me crazy..
    Btw, FYI, we both are in our middle of 20.

    Thanks for reading..i feel so good can sharing this ^^

  574. #574 by piscesgirl on November 19, 2009 - 3:10 pm

    wow i didnt realized my sharing was soo loonngg until i submit it and see it by myself, hahah

  575. #575 by piscesgirl on November 19, 2009 - 3:17 pm

    just wanna add something,
    is all taurus guy always act like gentleman?
    you know, open the door for you, let you go in first, become a really2 good guy.
    He is da*n good gentleman guy to me..so gentle..
    and his smile..and his eyes..so bright!! so ‘alive’!!

  576. #576 by saggi girl on November 19, 2009 - 6:20 pm

    Jess,

    I am glad that you are back on the ride again…i know what you were saying that you will go to the end of the world for your man if you are in love which is where you are right now..

    i just want to tell you that do not be afraid of being hurt as love itself is hard. I told my guy last weekend that loving someone was not easy, then he agreed with me completely. It is not easy to find someone you love and at the same time, the other person felt about you the same way…You have already gone this far and developed the feeling for each other in a deeper level, why to give up now?? love is always about compromising your need to make the other one happy and at the same time, hold respect for yourself…sometimes, it is hard to say who loves who more or less… it is all because of the decision you made to stay for better or worse..

    The reason i am still with my bull even though he gave me hard time or i went crazy all the time or being oversensitive most of the time is because i love him.. one day i asked my co-worker what is the difference between like and love. She told me that “love” is unconditional… even though he is not charming all the time or got on your nerve or drove you crazy or you just want him to disappear at some moment, but when you calm down, you still want him, you still want to be there for him, that is love..

    My guy has gotten closer to me then before and we finally became official a few weeks ago after 2 years of rough ride, i am happy about it even though we still have problems now and then, we got on each other’s nerve, but we are still together.. who knows what is going to happen in the future, either we ended up getting married or we broke up before that, but i enjoyed being with him, i compromised my need sometimes, and i can see he compromised too to deal with my periodic craziness…or insecurity or being demanding…but at some point, i think i understand him.. his mom passed away a few weeks ago… he does not say much but sometimes he will blurt out that he misses his mom…

    Jess, it is always about work… nobody is perfect match to each other, the thing is that if two people love each other enough wanting to stay together, then they have to work out the difference they carried in this relationship..

    Girl, be brave, enjoy your ride… keep me posted. I’d like it to be a successful story..

  577. #577 by HealerGirl on November 20, 2009 - 1:41 am

    Thanks Jess, SaggiGirl, & PiscesGirl for your input! So I haven’t heard from his since last week. Little friendly Text I sent on Sunday was not returned so I waited more. Maybe I shouldn’t have?…but today I emailed. Friendly update about some stuff in my life and then some honestly about how I’m not looking for anything serious right now (looking back I really think I was rushing things too much… and he knows I’ve just gotten out of a bad relationship.) so his reply was immediate and that he figured I wasn’t interested since he was making all the contact effort (okay…somewhat true as letting him lead but I didn’t think it was that imbalanced.) I told him that just because I’m an oldfashion girl – just the way I am, doesn’t mean lack of interest. He said he needs to know feelings are shared….how was it not mutual? Until he broke off contact with me, he had me pretty well falling hard for him! The time with no contact helped me get my head back on straight and realize that it’s too early to give him my heart yet! I did call him on the phone as maybe he has a point…and we had a partly very nice conversation and partly mundane conversation. (I hate the phone honestly anyway.) I do like this guy and so far he hasn’t done anything that leads me to think he’s a jerk like my ex…but being so new out of this bad relationship – I don’t know anything about dating! My ex messed with my head so much that I’m not sure how to spot a healthy relationship or healthy guy….I’m feeling gun-shy. I really think it would take a miracle for this relationship to work out…I am soooo clueless on what to do! In past relationships I always fell too hard, too soon, too much for those rare ‘special’ guys…I want this to go slow but I guess my version of slow might be his version of I don’t care about him?

  578. #578 by HealerGirl on November 20, 2009 - 1:53 am

    Weird, when I posted it used some cartoon thing last time? Maybe some new thing on the blog? Obviously that is not my photo – wish my hair looked that good lol!

  579. #579 by piscesgirl on November 20, 2009 - 1:25 pm

    I just noticed there are only 2 pisces girl here including me, 1st 1 be4 me already run away (give up)..but i’m still here, just started if i can say,,,wish me luck friends..

    Hey, is taurus guy like organized woman? b’coz my taurus guy (maybe 2-3 months a go) tout that i’m very organized.

    and something funny happend few hours ago. i was text him asked wether he done his test yet, then 10 minutes later he replies, yes he is, but he asked is this (my name) ?
    i was very disappointed he asked like that, he supposed knew it. then i reply, no this is (other girl name, someone who even not exist). then very quick, he replies again asked me am i (our mutual friend) fiend’s. i replies again, just short – nope, why?
    very quick he replies again he really2 couldnt remember,who am i, where we met,in what specific class, he also said this might be sounds bad that he asked this sort of quesions.
    i was very curious at that time is this important, then i replies: yeah its really bad, is this very important 4 u.
    he replies: yes, it is .
    then i admit this is me..
    then he replies again he said that he knew it, he know it was me.
    –> is this has any meaning ??? really need advices here..

    btw if this helps, both of us are asian but from different country and we r currently studying in australia. but be4 he came here, he was lived n worked in the USA for few years.

    really need any comments from you..(please read my 43 post be4 as well) many many many thanks!!
    gud luck 4 all of us ๐Ÿ™‚

  580. #580 by piscesgirl on November 20, 2009 - 1:28 pm

    sorry it’s supposed “my 3 post be4” not 43, LOL!

    again, many many thanks 4 any comments be4.. so glad can found all of u here

  581. #581 by Jess on November 20, 2009 - 2:04 pm

    HealerGirl,

    It’s ok for being clueless for dating and do not know how to spot a healthy/ red flag in relationship. Calm down and take it easy.

    May I share my practice with you, whenever I don’t know what move to take, I will stop and not doing anything until I can see it better or figure it out.

    Oh HealerGirl, don’t tell Taurus you are ‘not looking for something serious’ even you mean it or not, don’t set yourself in a trap. Simply tell him you don’t have any plan or expectation right now about relationship, you just want to take thing as it comes and enjoy the time together.

    And don’t worry about he misunderstood going slow as not caring for him. You better care for yourself first trust me! DO NOT show too much feelings, the facts that you keep in touch and hang out with him is enough for him to figure out that you like him. Taurus men are very smart!

  582. #582 by Jess on November 20, 2009 - 2:17 pm

    Hi piscesgirl,

    Yes, Taurus guy is very organized, at least the one I’m seeing now. Don’t try too hard into interpreting or take it personal whatever the Taurus trick, joking, words, etc. They are odd in their expression, just know that they are interested as long as they still keep contact (but to what level is another question…) and most of the time they are quite direct about what they want, Oh but be careful, they can say one thing now but mean something else in the future, like they can say they don’t want a relationship but sooner or later they start talking about having a baby and every time you meet look like the conversation is revolving around the topic of settling down!!! but don’t let that fool you for one minute and start pouring your heart out because Taurus is so good at talking the talk, you need to see it in their ‘ACTION’ only! Dealing with Taurus you have to stick to ‘this moment’ and ‘reality’ don’t let their charm and sweetness carry you away.

    Good luck to you!

  583. #583 by Ann on November 20, 2009 - 9:34 pm

    Hi you all guys,
    Boo, before finding the website, I thought it is something only happening to me, but now I think I can understand more – the situation “he is a Taurus man”. Yeah, my boyfriend is one of them, and let me tell you – for year and a half, he twisted my life completely.
    At one stage, I thought even he is emotional abusive – these all bi-polar signs you all are talking about …
    Only one difference – it started all good, then it went down, maybe the moment he felt he was already attached.
    But that is also why it is a roller coaster and we hang there. Mine did unbelievable things for me – as we were from different countries, he offered his home to me and we started living together very soon after we met, then he left a splendid position to come to my country and try there. Without knowing the language and no work, thought he was responsible for us – it was a disaster, he felt dependable and that started firing back. I don’t know how you survive the fights with Taurus man, they have so sharp tongue – and the next moment they can be so loving and caring. Completely bi polar. We lived together for 8 months – kind of OK, I was trying to be supportive and to be there for him – until he started to take it for granted.Then he found a job and we changed the city – believe me or not, but I felt into the trap of his temper one night after a fight and now we live separated. (he said “I think you should live alone for a while to learn”, and I just replied – “yes, I think the same”, so the next day I just found my own place – I am this kind of person – when something is said – it must be done). He says he is not with me and he is single, but in every way he acts as I am his girlfriend. And I am starting to lose patience, this man completely played with my mind, I have never been so confused what I want – and I usually know what I want. I moved to my own city as I started to lose patience and tried to start my life again. He done what depends on him to change my mind and convince me to spend time together (2 weeks) a month ago – it was gorgeous. Now he ask me if I would want to try it again …(he puts some conditions, of course “If I eventually find a job in your city, will you be willing to start it again?”). And I only said – I can not answer to a hypothetical question his reply was “very good answer, you are growing up”. What kind of answer is that? I don’t understand anything. And I am not playing any games, I just can not trust fully now, he is the man for me – I feel it, I never felt a men like this. Complex, very sensitive, manly, tender and kind (well, when mad … but you all know what I mean! ๐Ÿ™‚ ) and I do love him, but I don;t know if I can go trough all this again – what if one day he again say “I think you have to live a bit alone”? I am not a Muppet to play with?
    Probably if I have read all your posts before, it would be easier to deal with him. A, and btw, he almost never shares his feeling (except the I care for you, which I see is very common). He says – he is a man of action (and he proved it until now – like leaving everything he had for me), but once we fought, he said something like “I never had feelings for you”, he was extremely mad, but now this is stacked in my mind …
    What should I do? Do you think he really loves me – wanting to move again with me – I know it is a silly question, but if I do, is it the best just to keep less emotional with him? I am caring person and i get very attached and easy going, should I change that for him?
    I am also a Cancer, we are more mother type…
    Sorry about the English , it is just not my native language!

  584. #584 by Scorpio*** on November 21, 2009 - 10:11 am

    Such an interesting thread. I have been reading it all of last night and this morning. Although each story is different there are so many similarities running through them.

    I have been with my Taurus man for 3 months. We met one night through a mutual friend and connected instantly, and have pretty much been together ever since…most of the time, except when he does that weird distant thing! We decided to be in a committed relationship on day 2 (we are both in our 40s) and neither of us had been in a relationship for quite a few years before this. It was all so perfect, and still is most of the time. We spend on average about 5 nights a week together and are very close, but then I’ll go home for a couple of days (we are almost always at his place cos he works and lives on the premises and needs to be there) and I just won’t hear from him. It is almost always me who contacts him first (always by text, he doesn’t do phone calls!!) but he always responds pretty quickly and invites me for dinner, which he either cooks or takes me out. There have been 2 occasions during the 3 months where I decided not to contact him and wait for him to contact me, but he didn’t and on day 3 I gave in and contacted him. This week I haven’t heard from him since Thursday and I am determined to sit it out this time – for 2 reasons. 1) to see how long it takes for him to contact me…if he does at all, and 2)because I need to change this pattern. Of course I’m panicking that his stubbornness will set in and I won’t hear from him at all ever again. I just can’t understand how we can be so close when we are together and then he just doesn’t feel any need to contact me at all when we aren’t. He says he doesn’t like phones and wouldn’t have one at all if it wasn’t a requirement for his job. i don’t need to have long conversations with him daily, just a little text to touch base. I’m a scorpio and I’m really easygoing as long as I don’t feel like I’m being ignored. i know my story sounds ridiculous compared to some of the stuff some of you are dealing with, but I guess I am also feeling he is starting to change and becoming a bit complacent with me – now that he knows he’s got me he doesn’t have to try anymore. And it’s making me wonder if he still likes me, or still likes me as much. I guess we will see what happens over the next couple of days.

    Reading all your comments have made me laugh, cry, get angry, sad, decide to be patient and go at his pace, then the next minute want to break up with him cos I don’t know how I can put up with this behaviour on a long term basis. He knows I love him, because I was silly enough to tell him after after he told me he was falling in love with me. But that was weeks ago and he hasn’t mentioned it since. And now I’m confused. The last time I saw him, when I was leaving he said “see you later” and I didn’t respond immediately. He then shook his head and said “no, its ok”. I texted him later in the day to say that I would come over. he replied that it was fine. Then 10 minutes later sent me a text warning me of floods in his area and that he didn’t recommend travelling there. I agreed that it wasn’t wise to do so and that was the last time I heard from him. Am I just being silly?

  585. #585 by piscesgirl on November 21, 2009 - 10:55 am

    Jess,
    thanks 4 ur advice, yeah i know i should not run to conclusion too quick, but what make i fall to him it was because what he done to me, his actions, coz he is not talkactive guy, when we alone without friends around, both of us can silence from beginning to end!!!! can u imagine…and that’s terrible 4 me coz i afraid he will think that i such a bored girl..oh i dunno, i so confuse now..i made stupid mistake last night by replied his las text messages that he never replied back again.

    anyway i still open to any comments and advice ๐Ÿ™‚

    @ Scorpio***,

    no u not silly, but it’s LOVE that make we sillier and sometimes make we become the most stupid person in d world *believe me, i experience it, and i dont like it 4 sure*

  586. #586 by Scorpio*** on November 21, 2009 - 11:04 am

    Piscesgirl

    Mine does that too sometimes. Freaked me out at first but then he said to me one day that I understand silence. And he meant it as a compliment. It’s just how they are, they like to be quiet at times.

  587. #587 by Scorpio*** on November 21, 2009 - 4:38 pm

    Well, they say you can’t hide anything rom a scorpio. There must have been something setting alarm bells off for me and that’s probably what made me find this site!
    Some instinct told me to have a look at match.com. Lo and behold…there he was, active within 24 hours, with a username that relates directly to something I was helping him to make for his work earlier in the week! What a cheek! I imediately phoned him but he didn’t answer. I know he’s at work and often leaves his phone in the house. So i sent a text quoting just the username and “nice one!” No response as yet. he works till 6. I somehow think he won’t reply at all cos what can he possibly say?
    I guess this is the most sensational way i have ever had a relationship end!

  588. #588 by piscesgirl on November 22, 2009 - 7:51 am

    Scorpio***,

    Woow i have to admit u have very good instinct!!
    I’m so sorry to hear that, leave him rite now!! he doesnt deserve ur love, u deserve to get better man out there..he is sucks, f&*k him!!
    just take the positive thing: ur relationship w/ him is not too deep yet, that’s good rite..be strong!!

  589. #589 by Scorpio*** on November 22, 2009 - 9:41 am

    Thanks piscesgirl. Well, the explanation I got was that he had cancelled his subscription when he met me (he had told me that at the time) but had not yet deleted his profile and that was what he was trying to do. He accused me of jumping to the wrong conclusion (all of this was by text and email as he wouldn’t answer his phone) and that I should have come and spoken to him face to face. What difference would that have made?
    It’s definitely over. I’m just sorry it ended in such an ugly way.

  590. #590 by Scorpio*** on November 22, 2009 - 9:42 am

    Like so many taurus men, he turned out to be an asshole. He just showed his true colours earlier than most!

  591. #591 by piscesgirl on November 22, 2009 - 12:33 pm

    Scorpio***, yeah that’s better that he showed it earlier than later on..

    My friends advice me to tell himtaht i like him, is this gud idea in taurus guy mind?? oh so confuse, i’m so in love w/ him, da*n it!

  592. #592 by Jane on November 23, 2009 - 7:34 pm

    Hi everyone, we ll i am new to this and really can not believe what i am reading!! How can all Taurus men all be so similar!? LOL it is so interesting and quite shocking really to read how many of us going through the same things with are Taurus men! Before i explain a bit about my situation, i would like to thank everyone for their imput because i must admit, if i hadnt found this site when i did, i would be out of my mind by now!!!! lol i met my Taurus 6months ago and the first month was amazing, it was like he couldnt get enough. He never expressed his feelings verbally but constant texts telling me how amazing and sexy i am and how he couldnt wait to see me, very tactile,careing affectionate, it was like he was too good to be true. He often questioned my feelings for him and needed reasurence that i liked him. I told him many times to just give me time, that i like him and he is someone who i know i want to get to know more. After about 6weeks, i was falling for him, that was obvious and i started to reveal to him how i was feeling, i wasnt giving too much away but he new things where changing and i was hooked! That was when it all went wrong, the distant thing started, not so attentive, texts where less and and although he did ring it wasnt that often anyway. I was really upset especially as i gave him the validation he was looking for that i was in this for the long hall. I then became the insecure one, i couldnt understand what was happening. When i would question him on it (something i now realise was mistake num 1) he would act dumb like he didnt know what i was talking about. Anyway cut a very long story short we split up a few times with him begging me not to leave and he then admitted he was distant but said he feeling confused he did want to be with me but asked me to be patient with him. I new he has been very hurt in the past and finds it very difficult to trust which i totally understand but i was feeling confused too! Anyway now we are 6months down the line, still in eachothers life but as FRIENDS!! He said he not ready for a relationship but does not want to lose me, he texts me 2 or 3 times a day always wants to know what i am doing he still disapears at times for only a day or 2 and he’s back. I really dont know what i’m doing though! I feel i am in love with him which i did tell him a while back ( he said he loved me by text after a month!) i do think that was a test though. I have saw him twice in 3months, i am ultra feminine which i know he loves but he keeps me at arms length but with constant contact i just dont get it!! Its like he wants me to wait for him, i do believe he is my soul mate the chemistry between us is electrifying! I am just scared he stringing me along until someone better comes along although he does constantly tell me how amazing i am and he loves how gentle and careing i am, my god if he feels all that then what the hell is he waiting for! Since finding this site i have tried some of the ‘tricks’ that you ladies have learnt through your experience and to my amazment they are working!! LOL I hope you are all well and life treating you kind. Piscesgirl, unless your guy is a committment phobe then i would tell him you like him, just dont say the L word until your sure he’s feeling it. Good luck catchya all soon and thankyou again.

  593. #593 by Scorpio*** on November 23, 2009 - 9:33 pm

    piscesgirl, I would tell him. They like and respond well to compliments, but don’t overdo it. Let him know you like him and then step back. If he likes you too he will do the chasing.

    Hi Jane. Isn’t it just unbelievable! I would never have believed that all the taurus men were so similar if I hadn’t found this site. How it all starts off so wonderfully, then they get distant and the communication becomes less frequent but they don’t want to let you go. And the chemistry is always so strong. I actually went looking at similar sites for other signs to see if it was just that all men were the same, but it is definitely a taurus thing. I suppose there are a couple of success stories in here that make us believe ours will be one too, but I think they are few and far between.
    Mine finally did convince me that he was actually trying to delete his profile and even gave me his details of all the other sites he had been on. He has deleted all of them now but things are far from ok between us. He is still angry with me for a text I sent a couple of weeks ago but I only found this out yesterday. Ok, the text I sent wasn’t the nicest but I certainly don’t think it was bad enough to cause the big freeze. But these men are slow to forgive and hold on to their anger for a long time. We are emailing at the moment, which I think is getting us somewhere, but it’s a slow process, and I may even have lost interest by the time he decides he has forgiven me. We shall see…

  594. #594 by saggi girl on November 23, 2009 - 10:05 pm

    hi ladies,

    you can visit the http://www.sasstrology.com looking for taurus man posting, you will learn a lot from there… enjoy.. we are all there now..

  595. #595 by luvinlife on November 24, 2009 - 3:11 am

    Hi Ladies,

    I have read most of the post and feel I know each and every one of you. I am a saggitarian, and I have been involved with a Taurus since August 2007. I have been through a lot with this man.

    I have lived with him, and we have broken up many times.We were talking marriage and I had him pushing for marriage with me. So much so in fact that he scared me and I backed out! We broke up for 3 months due to his temper and rage. Of course he says it was my fault for leaving! Within a week of me being gone he met a woman and has been seeing her. I came back into his life after 3 months and he said he wasn’t seeing no one but that was a lie. He is still seeing her, but I’m not supposed to know. He seems to get closer to her every time he does something to hurt me or make me mad and I tell him about it. I’m confused as to why he continues on with me. I don’t get much time because most of it he spends with her but I get the” I have to work excuse”. What I have seen in my Taurus is that he is childish and is looking for a mother to do for him but not telling him what to do. He prefers being home watching DVDs or TV versus us going out. He does take me out to go eat lunch but no night dates. Been like that ever since I have been with him. Although other woman he is seeing is going out to places with him.He told me he only truly loved an ex girlfriend and me. He tells me he loves me but he is not in love with me anymore but that he is taking things slow to let things happen naturally between us again. He tells me when I asks in texts mssgs if he sees us being married that thats what he wants. Yet this could just be a lie too. Should I continue to hold on to see what happens since we have so much history, or should I cut my losses and run? Funny how we can look from the outside at someones probs and see the answers but we can’t really see our own!

  596. #596 by piscesgirl on November 24, 2009 - 8:33 am

    Scorpio***,

    thx for ur input, but i concern about 1 thing :
    i just afraid if i tell him n he doesn’t like me then will that change our friendship to awkward??

    thx again

  597. #597 by TruScorpio on November 24, 2009 - 5:02 pm

    So my taurus guy we only been talking for about a month. He is so confusing. He is 29 and me 24 and we talk all the time. He has told me so many thing about his past and the goals he has for the future. He even admitted he canโ€™t believe he is telling so many deep things that he normally doesnโ€™t share with people espcially not this quickly. Me being a scorpio I am usually good a reading people but he giving mixed signs. He had told me I am smart, pretty, and talented. We have alot in common and will talk for hours. We met through mutual friends who really said they have never seen the emotional side of him. I think he keeps it pretty hidden but with me he expresses it freely. He also said when he is not interested in a girl he often keeps the conversation polite and short, which is weird because with me he just keeps going and going. He is also very sweet and funny he has me laughing the majority of the time. He says he only wants to be friends which i guess is my question, I never contact him meaning no calls or text. He always contact me by phone or text, sometimes up to three times a day just see what Iโ€™m doing. Does that sound like friendship???
    I guess Iโ€™m confused but me being a scorpio I love the chase however I do not want to be hurt in the end. Should I keep preceeding how I am or should I just end this.
    P.S. He always finds a way to touch me by hugging or just leaning on me. Iโ€™m so confused and comments are welcome Thanks

  598. #598 by Jess on November 24, 2009 - 7:06 pm

    luvinlife,

    I would not let a guy treat me like that. Taurus is well known in treating women like a princess. They appreciate and get drawn to aggressive yet feminine women who stand up for herself.

    One thing I’m quite certain about men regardless of sign is that once he let you know he is seeing you and other women at the same time (seeing as in having relationship/sex, which is not dating), it means he has no respect for you. If a guy care for you and is looking/expecting/hoping to something meaningful with you, he won’t treat you like that. You are making yourself being easy and convenient for him with your full knowledge. Please never allow any guys to treat you like that.

  599. #599 by Jess on November 24, 2009 - 7:15 pm

    TruScorpio,

    Yes, as long as they keep contact you no matter how often or how much in one day, that is friendship for them unless they announce it to otherwise.

    You may and can believe in what he said, but never fall for it. Taurus is very charming, they got the mouth that melt your heart (and the tongue that melt your body…LOL.) BUT be careful because they keep throwing you hints and sugar but they are not assuming responsible if you happen to fall for them. Remember Taurus is the most sensual people among all signs. Their touch, their words, everything that is sent out from them signal sensual feelings.

    Bottom line is, you can listen even believe to whatever he said but only Look into his ACTION.

    Good luck.

  600. #600 by luvinlife on November 25, 2009 - 2:16 am

    Jess,

    He doesn’t know that I am aware he is seeing the other woman. His female neighbor who is both of our friend let me know that he was still seeing the other woman. The other woman pays for everything from groceries to them going out according to the neighbor. When I am with him he pays for everything. The neighbor says I should bide my time that I have 2 years of history with him. He told me that either Sunday or Monday he is going to see his Mom who lives in another state and he is bringing me with him. So do I bide my time with him, or do I cut him loose?

  601. #601 by InloveCancer on November 25, 2009 - 5:56 am

    Hi guys,

    Hope you guys still remember me ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m sorry that I didn’t update and response to you guys for awhile. I was too busy with schoo, and as you know, I just wanna get over my Taurus man…

    However, I think you guys will interest to know how my story goes after all… so here it is…

    As some of u guys know my story… that Taurus guy and I didn’t contact each other for awhile since he didn’t make commitment. However, after almost 2 months with no contact, he finally went back to town like I told you guys. He called me when he is here and invited me to his brother bday. So I came. You guys wont believe what happened. After eating, we went to the club and when we just got there, he suddenly holds my hand and walk me in… I was so shocked… Gosh Taurus guy is crazy… After leaving me in all sorrow, he just pop up in nowhere and does such thing. So I let my hand off his bc I think itz not rite. He can’t just hold my hand like that. Later we danced and have a good time. That night when he takes me home, he told me that he made mistake, but after the whole time that we didn’t contact, he missed me and he knows how much he loves me. And he asked me if I want to be his gf. I can’t believe it… Itz so crazy… well I didn’t asnwer him… But after that we see each other couple more times. He was so sweet. He asked me to be his gf one more time when we were at the lake. He holds my hands. He calls, text, chat with me alot and everyday…

    Right now, we are together. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m showered by his love and care. I’m so in love with him. Honestly I was so dissappointed at him back then. But he apologized and he shows me how much he cares and wants to be with me. I’m very happy. Everyday, he makes me laugh and feel loved. Seriously, Taurus man is so weird… but sweet. Mine is very sweet. He planed to introduce me with his parents. He said he want to be next to me. He holds me tight when we are together. He said he loves me, miss me and always give me kisses… even on the phone.

    So based on my own experience, give Taurus man his own sweet time to think and figure out wat he wants. ( if you truely love him and don’t mind to wait). He will appear in front of you and tell you everything when it’s right time to him. Once, he knows you are the one, he will do anything to be with you and make you happy. But yea, this type of guy is very patient. Like mine, he always said “not right time yet”… lolz don’t push him too much or he’ll run away. Let him know you are waiting, and he will be there.

    Tomorrow, my Tman gonna come back to town to spend the holiday weekend with me. We planed to spend the whole time together doing things. I’m excited and can’t wait to see him. One more thing, I think wat astrology talked about Tman sexuality is kindda true. We didn’t have sex or anything but I can feel it when he holds and kiss me… ๐Ÿ™‚ Goodluck girls… If ya read my old posts, ya will see how depressed and mad I was toward this T man. But now everything is fine, and he is so worth to wait for… I love my Tman… and I think he feels the same way ๐Ÿ™‚

  602. #602 by Jess on November 25, 2009 - 10:50 am

    luvinlife,

    Oh i see, it must be such a tough situation you are in… don’t know how long you can stay in this unhealthy situation where it could drive you crazy anytime…

    I shouldn’t tell you whether to give it a try or to cut it loose, may be you can wait to see his mom with him and see how he introduce you as and how he treat you when with family?

    Let us know how things go for you. I really wish you the best and things sort out to its best.

  603. #603 by Jess on November 25, 2009 - 10:56 am

    InloveCancer,

    Wow Wow Wow, such a long time haven’t heard from you! Very glad you are back with a great news! I’m really happy for you! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Yeah I can’t understand these men how they could tell you they love you but disappear and back to ask for commitment…

    Actually mine also had a week without contact at all, and this was after he told me he loves me but i couldn’t take it anymore how he control me but those days made me realized also that I love him, so we are back together.

    Anyway InloveCancer, please still come back and post your story if you like.

  604. #604 by piscesgirl on November 25, 2009 - 12:53 pm

    Dear All,

    Wanna ask u something.

    1. Is Taurus guy easily to tell about his private issues such as how much money he had in his saving accounts?

    2. I read many about Taurus guy love to be touched and touching the girl he like. Is that true? And where is the place he like to touch to girl he like? neck or shoulder? or both?

    Thanks girls..anyway..yesterday when we just alone, only 2 of us sitting in front of class, he told me about his saving account’s amount. And today after we got our exam results and class finished, he touched my neck (like tickle and massage in d same time, but very quick, very fast, very suddenly that I’m not aware before), I taught he done that because of my best result in exam n he like happy n proud of me to get very good result.. I’m so happy.. But the things is, 2 days ago, he touched my friend shoulder (both, right n left in d same time), that’s why I asked question number 2..

    Again, thanks 4 any comments and advice, girls..

  605. #605 by Jane on November 25, 2009 - 1:31 pm

    Hi Jess, Inlovecancer, scorpio, truscorpio, luvinlife ,saggi girl and everyone, i have been reading all your posts for a while and have followed all your ups and downs although i only posted in recently as you have probably read. I have been so grateful to you all as it has helped me so much. Please continue you are all an inspiration!

    Jess
    you especially have inspired me with your comments. I have been going crazy not sure about things but yor words always so true, gosh you are an expert on taurus men!! lol i have followed your story and how similar things are to us all. I do thank you so much and i feel so stupid at times. I dont know if my taurus guy wants me or not! He contantly in touch, paying me compliments, sexy, gorgeous, precious babes etc all lovely but as you always say, its in his action before you know for sure. He calls every few weeks too but i have only saw him twice since july. He took me shopping a few weeks back as he new i needed his help, i didnt ask he just offered! I dressed up real nice and flirted with him but he didnt comment but i dont get it coz he always telling me how amazing i am. He says things like questions about how i am always tidy in my house and he likes that. Also he says he could not bare not to have me in his life. He comments on marriage,I said i would invite him for a meal and cook for him he said yes that it would be lovely, havnt done it yet tho. He is so scared of being hurt i know that, i have shown how consistant i am in my approuch. Please help!! I dont know how to be sometimes to convince him of my love. He sends me romantic songs by email too he is not shy but i do know he is so obsessed with work at times that he can forget me. I am sorry to go on and on i am so confused. I hope you are all well and smiling xx

    Inlovecancer
    congratulations!! fantastic news i am so happy to hear good news. Please keep us posted! x

  606. #606 by Jane on November 25, 2009 - 1:40 pm

    Piscesgirl
    Hi, i hope you are ok and i must congratulate you on your exam results well done!
    YES taurus guys love to be touched, anywhere! Also i think maybe he touched other girl to not make his feelings for you obvious, especially if other girl is a friend or class mate. I do know that these guys are very tactile and just love affection from someone close to them and who they care about so just go with it, touch him back he will love it, especially on his neck! Good luck

  607. #607 by Jane on November 25, 2009 - 2:13 pm

    Jess
    you said your guy disapeared for a week after he tell you he loves you, did you text him durung that time? That i think may be my problem coz wen he dissapears after about 3/4 days i want to text coz i dont want him to think i dont care or i dont want to change being consistent that way incase he thinks i’ve backed off. I dont want him to lose trust in me. Is that crazy!? Reading it back it sounds it! lol I just really love him and i feel in my heart he loves me. How did you convince your guy that you are true to him? What signs did you see that he getting closer and falling for you? I hope you dont mind me asking you Jess

  608. #608 by saggi girl on November 25, 2009 - 5:13 pm

    involve cancer girl,

    congratulations…. i am glad that you are back… please continue to share your story with us….as you are the expert now since you are successful with yours…

    congratulations again… to update with you… we became girlfriend and boyfriend like a few weeks ago, but not in a way i wanted as i asked him by text if he was my boyfriend.. as he said ” no” before… you know those going on official thing that we all have been fighting for.. he has been avoiding those talks all along before… , but this time, he did not respond until 4 hours later, he said” yes.” so, that is how we became official… i spoke with him afterwards about my text and i asked him why he did not ask me to be his girlfriend himself if he is very positive about that, he stated ” i think things are good with us and very stable, i just do not want to rush into it.. but since you asked, and i am ready… then i thought why not?”

    i agree with you it is always about the time and patience with them. if they backed off and then let it be… they will come forward when they are ready… but now, my next worry will be when he will get his divorce done… i kind of asked him last weekend, well, not very directly asking but hinted, he did not say anything but smiling at me saying that he was working on it… what was that supposed to mean???

    anyways, that is my update…welcome back, like Jess said earlier in her post: please continue to share..’

  609. #609 by Jane on November 25, 2009 - 7:43 pm

    saggi girl

    Hi, how good it is to hear your update, you sound a little concerned and i can understand it but it sounds like he really wants you to be his girl, i mean a taurus guy would not say that unless he meant it right!! As for his divorce, well these guys as we well know have so much patience that it may not seem like a big deal to him as he knows he is woking on it. I would deffinatly take things as they come for now, you are ‘official’ so you go get him girl! (of course let him set the pace) I feel like i’m still on interview mode with my guy! He text last night to say he going to bed as he had a headache and he said goodnight gorgeous sleep well!!! He does text most mornings and evenings but then things just change, i text him this morning to ask how he was, he text back said he ok, asked how i was and that was that i havnt heard since. Thats what i dont get, he could text 2, 3 times day then nothin!! OMG! Anyway good luck to you and pleez keep us posted

  610. #610 by Jess on November 26, 2009 - 1:01 am

    Hi Jane,

    You said “Thats what i dont get, he could text 2, 3 times day then nothin!! OMG!”……

    Please don’t worry about that, my Taurus guy does EXACTLY the same thing! I got his explanation later that he doesn’t want to appear too much behind me, meaning he doesn’t want to always be the one who keep it going and pushing for my reaction. He knows exactly how his behavior is disturbing but refuse to change but got a nerve to say that although he doesn’t send contact on daily basis, he wants to hear from me everyday…… (can you believe that!…) Don’t take it personal all the odd he did and did not do, give it time and he will gradually and subtly tell you the reason behind it as he opening up more.

    I got to go now, but will be back to share with you about other points.

    Keep it up girl!

  611. #611 by baffledgirl on November 26, 2009 - 7:38 am

    Wow… I’ve been following all of your posts and it took me a while to read them, but I enjoyed reading them cause I found solace in them.
    My situation with my taurus guy…he’s not my boyfriend, he lives 5 hours away from me, and we’re pretty young…19 years old.

    So my story is…
    I never paid attention to this astrology sign at all. We started talking beginning of January 09. I knew he wasn’t into me yet. Our communication wasn’t really active. Around February, we started talking a lot, he texted me every single day/night for two or three weeks. Then all of a sudden…nothing….I was upset but not that much because my feelings for him have not developed yet. March came and we didn’t talk as much, i accepted it and i thought he was probably done with me. April came….and we would still talk for a little bit, but not as much as we did on February. Living far away puts a strain on everything, and i can’t really trust him completely because he has A LOT of girls that seem to like him. He’s VERY charming and very very very good looking. I’m sooo drawn to him, it drives me crazy. So anyway, towards the end of April, he started to talk to me a lot again, we talked every single day and night from April til about last month. The longest we’ve gone without talking was about 3 or 4 days. I was so amazed that he was chasing me and I loved the constant attention. There were times when he would just text me out of nowhere to say “hey baby you just crossed my mind, so i thought i would text you”.

    Ladies…I’m sure you know the feeling of having your taurus guy call you baby and tell you all these wonderful things. Like i said, this guy has so many girls flocking to him. And being so far away from me, I get worried and jealous because i feel like some girl will steal him away from me instantly (I’m a cancer so i’m very sensitive). Anyway, I knew he was into me because he always texted me and he hates talking on the phone but he constantly told me to call him whenever, and even though he hates talking on the phone, he’ll make an exception for me.

    Alright so this is where the drama comes in…
    we’ve been talking for MONTHS, and he always flatters me with compliments. saying i’m beautiful and smart and that i have a good head on my shoulders, etc etc. So that made me feel wonderful, and for some reason….the last couple months, i’ve been feeling INCREDIBLY insecure and thinking to myself that this guy probably has a lot of girls he talks to…So on october, i asked him how he felt about me. He told me liked me and I said i liked him too. I said if i’m just being played with, i need to stop talking to him because its not fair for me and its not nice. He said not at all, we’re both into each other. He doesn’t want to ask me to be his gf because we live so far. He said that thats the thing thats keeping him from asking me to be his gf. He told me that if we were closer, we could give it a shot. I was relieved to know that he liked me and that i’m not just creating deluded thoughts in my head. After that conversation, it seemed as though, something in me changed. I started to want CONSTANT reassurance that he likes me, I would get irritated when he would text me and take forever to respond, I would ask him questions if he still liked me or if he’s into anyone besides me. He said that everything he said to me, he meant it. Like wanting to be my bf if we were closer…

    So lately, i’ve been so insecure and being a cancer, my imagination is wild. I cannot stop making scenarios up in my head that maybe some girl will take him away from me. Although we’re not official (because of the distance) i’m sooo worried that he will just be gone. In a way, i blame myself for allowing myself to be attached to him. I didnt think he would stick around for sooo long, contacting me for months.

    (I’m sorry this is so long!)

    But anyway, like i said, i didn’t really pay attention to this taurus astrology sign until about the beginning of this month. I started to realize that i’m probably smothering him by always telling him to contact me and i’d tell him i’m upset if he doesn’t text me at night. Right now…it feels like he’s changed…he doesn’t text me at night anymore. It hurts me a lot to see how he’s changing, I can’t help but think that he probably found someone else, that’s why hes not pursuing me as much as he used to.
    Before, he would disappear as well but only up to 2 days, but now, the longest time we’ve gone without talking was 5 days. I know this isn’t a lot, but i’m just so used to him contacting me everyday. I’m so sad i feel like he’s lost interest in me. I talked to him on friday online, and i told him, him being absent makes me feel as if he doesn’t like me anymore, and he told me i’m trippin. he told me that its just how it is sometimes. I said yes, i understand. Its just i miss talking to him. Right now, its day 4 of him disappearing again. I’m not contacting him cause i remember that if i continue to smother him and get mad and ask him why he’s not paying attention to me, I KNOW for sure he will think i’m overly clingy and he might get irritated. So, i’ll just let him contact me…if he ever does.

    I’ve read that some of you have asked your taurus guys what they want and they try to avoid it but they don’t let you go. Its like that with him. Sometimes, especially right now, i feel like giving up. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    I like him a lot. He’s so different from guys I know. But i can’t help but think that he’s already pursuing someone else and i’m being up in the back burner…. i hate this a lot ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  612. #612 by InloveCancer on November 26, 2009 - 9:28 am

    Hey baffled girl,

    I’ve just read ur story… Are you a Cancerian too? Well, ur story is somewat like mine. My Taurus guy is 3 hours away and he is young too. You know wat? I think there is a connection between Cancer and Taurus… I’ve never ever feel this way before for any guy. Like other friends here have already known how much I suffer earlier. He drove me crazy with all his nonsense talk and actions. Girl, trust me I know wat you are going through ritenow. But I want to tell you one thing, if you really love him, don’t give up. Taurus guy is worth to wait.

    Girls… I’m very happy tonite. He just came back to town tonite to spend time with me. Guess wat? He bought me nice gifts and made some music CDs. He chose all put all good songs together. He also draw and write on it. Sweet huh? Also, he introduced me to his brother and friends. He treats me so sweet in front of them and make me feel like a luckiest person in the world. One thing about Taurus guy, when he hold, kiss me or touch me, I can feel it very strong and passionate. It feels like he is so in love with me.

    Rightnow, when I think back about everything. I feel like I love him more. I used to get mad at him because he pushed me away and ignored me… but now, I feel like I understand his fears. I think T man afraid to get hurt, and to hurt the person he loves. Like Battfed girl said that her Tman didn’t want to ask her out before he thinks they are far away. Datz true. Tman can love you so much, but they always think about other stuffs beside love. They are not the kind of guy who just fall in love and do watever without thinking of the consequences. When he knows wat he wants, he will act totally different. He will pay all his attention to you and devote himself.

    Btw, my Tman and I had a great night ever. This is one of the best night in my life because I love all those feelings that he brought to me. I don’t know if he is going to change someday, but ritenow he is the best person on earth that ever make me feel so strong and happy. Thanks u guys so much for sharing ur stories and giving advices. I will list out everything I can think of about Tman later. HAppy Thanksgiving everyone ๐Ÿ™‚

  613. #613 by Jess on November 26, 2009 - 12:16 pm

    Hi Piscesgirl,

    To answer your questions based on my experience:

    1. No, Taurus guy don’t easily tell anyone about his private issue. But this is a bit tricky because Taurus don’t think behave like other men so what seem to be private to others may not be to him… But I agree the money issue is private

    2. Oh yes, they love to touch and to be touched. No particular place (even astrology said it’s neck area) It seems to me like Taurus need to always feel his and your skin in touch… Taurus guys I know would not just touch anyone but only his girl, he is private person and doesn’t like to be touched just by any girl also.

  614. #614 by Jess on November 26, 2009 - 1:19 pm

    Jane,

    Please don’t pay too much attention to those sweet words he keep showering you (sexy, gorgeous, cutie, princess, beauty, etc…) How long have you been seeing each other? You said you only seen him twice since July, do you mean you only met him 2 times??

    You have to stop trying to convince him about your love or anything because I’m telling you, Taurus are VERY SMART! They always observe and notice things! The harder you put an effort on him, the looser he feel at ease and lose ambition to court you.

    My simple presumption about Taurus guys is that, Yes they want you as long as they are around and keep throwing sugar and candy… but it’s not enough just to know if they want you or not. The real question is how deep they want you to what level! If you are sure you really want Taurus guy in your life, then you have to wait for them to fall deeper for you first because it’s not easy for Taurus to fall. They will hold it because smartass like them, they knew very well if they ever fall, they fall real hard and they are not leaving: that means if they let themselves falling in love with you they know exactly they are the one to get hurt because no matter what you do to them, they are not leaving… So they need to assure they pick the right and the best one!

    Oh, when he talked about stuff like marriage, kids, PLAY DEAF! LOL. hahaha sorry but I mean it I personally believe Taurus say it on purpose! You must not forget 1) Taurus men are family type of men, they want family with kids. They mention about that stuff to you to see your attitude how it gets along with theirs 2) Taurus are open minded, they are open to ALL POSSIBILITY but choose to best one. So they talk about future, it means they see it’s possible with you (but keep in mind they might also mention it to others too) and they also observe your respond on this subject (remember many women are already throwing themselves o them, and if they talked about marriage many women got carried away and start to stick herself tight for him…)

    You need not to take it personal either when Taurus apply his twisted bullshit disappearing act on you, same thing about marriage/kids talk, you also don’t take it personal and got carried away big time!

    You can talk about it no problem but in general manner, general opinion. Appear like you don’t get any clue. Try Try and try and try hard to resist his charm! LOL.

    I can’t tell you enough how many times my guy talk to me about those stuff, then he told me he wants his daughter to look like me, now he even mention he wanted to take a chance when we sex by leaving inside and see if i get pregnant… How I react? I play deaf! LOL. No, seriously I simply told him I’m not going to have kid by accident because one day I can fully told my kid, he or she is born out of love and intention. That shut him up!

    Jane, don’t put yourself on a commitment for a guy that you are going to be true to him. Most women (including myself) fall harder and suffer badly when fail, so my way is to always let the guy move 1 step forward, then I reciprocate, step by step this way. So I assure myself I’m always 1 step behind so the duty is on him if he wanted to leave us, he suffer first then i suffer one step behind… LOL. Until he fall deeper for you, that is when you can go head over heel

    Let me repeat you again that it’s always the ACTION that says for both. You wouldn’t believe how much sugar, shit and bullshit my guy been giving me all this year

    Next week, and we are 1 year together. I’m going to keep it this way until I’m sure he is falling in too deep…

    If you want to know what signs he shows that I say he is falling for me, please give me email and I write you personally because it’s quite personal and i feel a bit shy to public it LOL!

  615. #615 by baffledgirl on November 26, 2009 - 7:22 pm

    InLoveCancer,

    Hey girl ๐Ÿ™‚
    Yeah I’m a cancer too. Yup we’re both 19. You totally nailed it when you said there’s just a connection between cancer and taurus. Ughh he’s so opposite of me, I’m like a really really good girl and he’s a bad boy but he’s sooo sweet. I love it. I’m drawn to it.

    Right now, I’m sad because I honestly can’t help but think that he has forgotten about me ๐Ÿ˜ฆ Its day 5 today of us not talking… He used to NEVER let this happen, like 5 days without talking. Like I said, the most we’ve gone without talking was 3 or 4 days. It really sucks how he’s soo good looking, i’m just insecure that he probably met another girl and is wooing her instead of me ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    I’m trying to keep myself preoccupied, but I can’t stop thinking about him. I miss talking to him soo much ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    I don’t know what to do…I don’t want to confront him because I know its gonna push him away cause he probably thinks that its getting serious even though we’re not official bf and gf…

    I’m just really sad that he can’t even put the effort to talk to me like he used to. Its impossible to not have 10 seconds to shoot someone a text saying goodnight or whatever :/

    Anyway, happy thanksgiving ladies.
    enjoy it.

  616. #616 by luvinlife on November 26, 2009 - 9:46 pm

    Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

  617. #617 by Jane on November 26, 2009 - 10:42 pm

    Jess

    Thankyou for your response to me, we met in May i am a virgo by the way, and for 2months it was sooo great he just couldnt get enough of me! lol ,he kept asking how i feel about him, i tell him to not rush and my feelings are there for him (how mad me telling him not to rush!!) He said he love me by text, i was shocked and didnt respond. Then i met all his family, it was lovely. We spent 1 night only together we didnt have sex as i was not ready and he respected that but our night was lovely together. This all happened in 2months.After this my feelings got strong for him and i told him i was falling in love with him after few more weeks, he said he was shocked to hear that. Then he started the distance thing!! He has been very hurt in the past and says often that he could not bare me to not be in his life but he then gradually got distant, i questioned him on it and he got worse!(i know that was a mistake to question him) He asked that we be friends and see how it goes but since then i have only saw him twice once in july and once 3weeks ago! He usually contacts daily and every now and again 2or3 days distant,CRAZY! i understand what you say is right but i am not sure what you mean when you say to be ‘behind him’ do you mean let him always make moves? i just not sure when he goes ‘distant’ should i text after a day or so to just say ‘hi’ or somthing coz i dont want him to think i have backed off or not consistant with him? I text him yday morning to ask how his headache was ( i know he loves i care) he text back then i text tonight just said hi hope you had good day, he never responded! i feel stupid when he does that. When i said to you how can i prove my love for him, i meant in action not words coz i realise not to be verbl that way until he shows more ( i am learning from you!!) Jess your guy told you that he not in contact with you daily but he wants to hear from you daily, do you do that? Also Jess when i asked you for the signs of him falling for you, i am sorry it personal to you, i just mean how long where you together before he show you and did he just pay more attention to you etc? I really do value your opinion and all the girls here have very valid points to make also. I am learning and i am calming down in my frustration since i found this sit so thankyou. Also please forgive me for going on and on!! Do you think he is stringing me along? I know its not for sex as we havnt had sex, I just wish i new something from him to keep me going! I know he is worh it. I told him that no guy has touched or kissed me since him and he replied ‘thats just common sense!!lol OMG! this was talking on the fone.Your relationship is moving forward and its all because of his feelings for you Jess and you have learnt very well how to ‘BE’ with your guy, well done and i thankyou so much, keep up the good work you sound like such a lovely careing person xx

  618. #618 by Jess on November 26, 2009 - 11:36 pm

    Hi baffledgirl,

    As far as I know, Taurus is not into long distance thing and hardly engage in one. YOur guy probably decided to give it a try to come back with fully charge on you in April. I assume that’s why he keep constant contact and make exception with the phone call with you.

    I think your guy pull back the contact on purpose. Baffledgirl, constant text and call should not compensate security, I mean he probably feel that without his usual constant contact and you get insecure and upset, this could be a bad sign (in the future). We all know how girls can create drama and end things out of insecurity and jealousy…

    I also think you should not keep asking him about his feelings for you as to reassure the relationship and to calm yourself down, that is not only signal needy but to make him feel you can’t be on your own without his assurance and that you second doubted his word (when telling you he only with you).

    I guess he probably continue this trend for a while, to see how it goes. So please relax and try to calm down, don’t think too much. You can text him a little msg even he doesn’t text first but don’t get emotional when you dont get respond right away.

    As long as your guy is still around, it should be fine. But if it really bother you much, talk to him but make it soft.

  619. #619 by piscesgirl on November 26, 2009 - 11:40 pm

    Jess

    Thanks 4 ur answer.. May i know ur email address? would like to know what signs that u can say he is fall to u..

    So, makes me wondering what does he means by doing that (touched) to me and my friend.

  620. #620 by baffledgirl on November 27, 2009 - 1:13 am

    Jess,

    Yeah he told me it would be perfect if we were in the same area. He said he’s not one to jump into relationships, but he would definitely ask me to be his gf if we had that opportunity because he said i’m the “best girl” for him.
    I realized that lately, me asking him questions about his feelings for me probably freaked him out a little. But i have DEFINITELY toned it down! I used to never ask for his reassurance before, but like I said, for some reason, after he told me his true feelings for me, that’s when it seemed as if a switch in me went off and I felt compelled to always ask for reassurance. So I have stopped! ๐Ÿ™‚ Im not asking him if he really likes me or if he’s still interested in me. I know that the harder I try to keep asking him for reassurance, he’s going to see that I’m clingy and needy and annoying. So I’ve stopped doing that.

    But like I said, I’m just very sad that he hasn’t contacted me in 5 days… ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
    I know some of you have gone longer without talking to your guy, but him being so far away, communication to me is extra important. But I’m not texting him because I want him to come to me. I don’t want to show him that I’m just waiting around for him, even though I am. :/
    Darn taurus and their charm! I just can’t seem to let him go.

    I’m giving him his space by not texting him or anything. I want to go back to my old self, the one who never asked for constant reassurance. Last friday (online), i told him that him disappearing without any contact at all made me think that he’s trying to hint to me that he doesn’t like me anymore. And he told me that i’m definitely trippin. Its like, I give him opportunities to tell me that he doesn’t like me anymore, but he doesn’t seem to want tolet me go. But lately the lack of communication between us is getting to me, because like I said, he was soooo attentive to me prior to this month. But I’m just going to take it easy and let him come to me, and if he doesn’t then…I guess I have my answer.

    Thanks Jess for your advice. <3.
    I feel like I've known you ladies for a long time! Just cause we're all dealing with these taurus guys.

  621. #621 by piscesgirl on November 27, 2009 - 11:51 am

    Update, i thinking about give up him.
    I don’t want get hurt and break our friendship.

    So this is the story:
    Three days ago, My friends and I (all together 3 girls) planning movie night next week and when we talked about it it, he was around, so I invited him without any intention (or maybe I dont realized I have any intention behind my invitation). I get shock when he said yes and very enthusiasm about it. He even talked about it and asked about our plan the next day after my invitation.

    then this happen:
    Yesterday I found a good seminar that will be held a day before movie night. so I taught maybe my friends include him will be interested about the topic, so I text him and invited him. 2 hours later, he replied, asked me more info about the seminar and asked me who will go with me to there. I replied, looks like I’m go alone. then he asked me the time. i text him back. and he said he need to check his schedule first (his work schedule), and asked me again about movie night.
    until now, he hang me about will he come to the seminar!! i just text him tell him that i put his name already but if he dont want to come that just fine. –> I become emotional. He seems very interested about movie night(where we will go out in the groups) but not for the seminar (even though 1st time he looks like not reject it directly, he said he need to chek his schedule first, but look, he hang me, this is friday night already and i need to make a confirmation about his attendance). oh this drive me crazy..i taught he is mature enough..but maybe i just jump in to conclusion too fast that i taught he maybe likes me, how silly i am..now, i think he maybe likes my friend , not me. (read my post before about he touched my friend shoulder).

    Love is blind, make me sillier and become stupid person in d world. i need to stop it before it become deeper n deeper.
    Thanks girls for reading my stories, for ur advice n any comments, and all about..

  622. #622 by Jane on November 27, 2009 - 2:54 pm

    Hi Inlovecancer and Baffledgirl
    i think taurus guys struggle with the long distance thing as they have problems with trust and their feelings so as jess said they pull back contact on purpose especially if they think you depend on it, this kind of thing does frighten taurus men, i learnt this too and it is hard, coz we start to get feelings and they get scared, pull away and we get insecure!! so i do understand what you say. I am still trying to figure things out!

    Baffled girl
    one thing i will say is i have never asked my taurus guy what he feels for me, that may be because of how he constantly told me in first few months and i think i wouldn ask now prob coz fear of rejection even tho i know he really is into me i know he wont handle that so yes please try and not do that, he will then not recognise this and it may draw him closer to wanting to get nearer.
    Inlovecancer this is so hard for you and i understand how frustrating it is but try to just give him space, its hard i do struggle with that. Its hard to know how long to leave it before saying ‘hi’ i hope you are ok, please keep us posted and good luck! God knows we need it!! xx

  623. #623 by Jess on November 27, 2009 - 3:30 pm

    piscesgirl,

    If I was not wrong, you are quite a young girl? Taurus men has a heart and act like a child. Don’t waste your energy expecting him to act like mature adult.

    Let me tell you what my Taurus put me thru, there were many times he was the one who asked to meet but told me to wait for him at my friend’s place and he sms when he arrive, or sometimes I was having dinner with friends and he told me he try to catch up with me…… Now you can guess right? Yes, he couldn’t make it.! the worse is that he would also said he will try but will sms latest 8 pm. so i know if he was coming or not, again that never happen too, he sms about 10 pm….. and never apologise for latest sms. Of course I got sensitive not to mention disappointed but I never complained or create a drama. Because I always think we are just dating and I want to see how this man treat me. It was to my surprise because no guys ever treated me like this (not one time but few times) If it was other guys I would think he was not into me by taking me for granted but not this Taurus guy, he still sticking around and got the nerve to keep asking me out.

    Piscesgirl, what about taking it easy and don’t rush into any conclusion about this guy? take time and let him show you instead. Trust me Taurus guy can’t stay away too long from the object of his attraction!

    Piscesgirl, I guess you must still be a student? so young! I’m not sure its good for me to share with you the personal details of my intimate story LOL.

  624. #624 by Jess on November 27, 2009 - 4:27 pm

    Jane,

    Don’t worry about your questions, they are fine. I first met my guy back in early December last year. We only met once in 2 weeks just for dinner, until on our 7th date, Valentines day which was our first trip and first sex… LOL.

    (Warning: especially to baffledgirl since you are only 19, and piscesgirl who is still a student ๐Ÿ˜‰ as I don’t want to mislead anyone about this, so please don’t apply my experience on this one to yourself…) I have to say after our intimate course, I feel he started to be more attentive asking to meet more often, making plan for trip and whenever his bestfriends coming from abroad to visit, he will ask me to join. I take this as a good sign because Taurus is very private people who only got a few but best friends, so asking me to join him and his best friends means something.

    Something else is, at the beginning we would only contact by sms like once a day, until after his Birthday in May when I told him I wanted to be friends because I have learned that I can’t change him as he can’t change me and I’m not happy with so little contact we have and I see this is just not going to work out and I don’t want to get hurt in the future. He didn’t agree or refuse, only asked me how much contact I want, I told him would be nice to have at least once a day. The next day he asked to add my MSN which I was very surprised because he said he doesnt chat and from that day on we have contact everyday, I will receive either his sms or offline message or we chat. So this is another point that Taurus move slow but once move at all they are steady, from his birthday on he keeps his constant contact everyday.

    Another thing is Taurus is very sensual, they are so much into food and sex. What they said about Taurus and the touch is true, my guy have to walk hand in hand with me all the time, when we sit at restaurant or coffee shop he insist we sit on the same side of table or same chair if possible… and he always give me the last spoon of every dishes. He told me he will only eat at the restaurant when we are out together, other than that he just buy easy food to go. Sex- it’s all about satisfying me, before during or after sex…!

    During these period, my guy will keep saying he doesnt know what it is with him to feel like this for me, he said he lost interest and libido with other women but me only… and he keep giving a clue that what he was afraid might happen with me…

    During July, he suggest he wanted to try renting an apartment service room close to my place so it’s easier for us to meet often so we checked a few and try having him come to sleep on weekend. One time during our very intense sex he slipped out ‘i love you’ word but we just act like nothing happen.

    Things keeps getting better and more intense then he invited me on abroad trip with him, talking about europe trip together next year. I start to notice it was him who always initiate and push it with me (now it looks like he is not slow but on the go), same time I start to feel he control me more and more. I didn’t realize the manipulative side because he was getting sweeter until I couldnt take anymore and blow it all up last time we met.

    Hmmm sorry I didn’t mean the post is getting this long….

    Oh, to answer you, no i don’t send him contact everyday as he asked me to do. You must remember whatever Taurus guy told you, he says it as he feels it FOR THAT MOMENT! I’m not going to act on his every move (otherwise I’ll be dancing around….) Taurus guy one minute can be super sweet, next minute appear insensitive. So you girls have to stand firm on your own basic ground, you will not let them move you around by acting according to what they say.

  625. #625 by saggi girl on November 27, 2009 - 5:12 pm

    Jane,

    I would think you just let it be..it seems to me that your guy is interested in you totally, but taurus, they won’t jump into a relationship right away… i remembered my guy told me one time after 2 years of dating, right before he accepted me as his girlfriend that he is very careful with the girl he was picking, he wanted to make sure that he made the right decision, he does not want to make another mistake, as it is really hard for him to deal with.. he said that is why he is very hard to deal with at the beginning of the dating… he makes it harder to take his time to make sure that he is doing the right thing… they are not gonna jump into the relationship based on the feeling and the passion as it will go away with time eventually… he wants to make sure that you would get along even when the passion faded away…

    so, do not rush him as it won’t help at all… they will only do it when they wants to do it or the are ready to do it… it takes me 2 years… i can not believe that i got so much patience with it and actually part of it is because that i came to this site, and Jess helped me a lot with my problem…she listens, gives me suggestions… it helps me a lot to pass the waiting period.. right now, i still have problems but it is in a different area about his marital status.. i even talked to him again about it last night when we spent time on Thanksgiving.. he told me that his wife lost her green card and just paid to replace it not long ago. as soon as she got her green card, he will talk to her about it and will file for divorce… he told me that he will let me know when he took the action…

    I don’t know if he tells the truth or not, as i really do not know if the green card matters with the divorce or not, or just his excuse to hold onto it…but i can not do anything about it now…but i told him last night that if he wants to go back with his wife, at least i deserved the truth, if they are really still loving each other , i will disppear the next second.. but do not string me along with this whole” BS”, he told me that it is not gonna happen like that… i do not know… i guess i need to focus on myself and distance from it…i do not know if i need to ask why the green card matters with the divorce.. but i am afraid to ask as he’s gonna blow off… he has been avoid talking about her or any of this divorce thing.. i guess he told me what he can tell me, and i am not be able to crack more information if he does not want me to know…

    so, Jane, patience, patience, it is always about patience. but one thing you need to make sure that he does not see anyone else besides you… it is very important…i won’t mind waiting him to commit or gave him time to process the whole dating intimacy but if he is seeing someone else at the same time seeing me, i would drop him right away… because it is about the respect..i do not accept the open relationship……especially if he told you that he was seeing someone else at the same time..

    good luck.. happy thanksgiving

  626. #626 by saggi girl on November 27, 2009 - 5:28 pm

    Jess,

    long time no chat… it seems that you are doing great so far..thanks for sharing with us.. especially the sex part.. but my story is far different from you… it is always about satisfying him( sex part)…we do not do the sex part that often… most of the time, i felt like that we are the buddy… question for you, who normally initiate the sex?? hope you do not mind me asking… LOL

    my story is also different for other parts too, sorry, it is true… sometimes, he raised his voice on me when i do not listen to him… for example on yesterday when we cooked the thanksgiving meal together, he told me what to do ( as it is kind of new to me) and also asked me to follow on the instruction on the box, i did not pay enough attention to what it says, then i did in a wrong way… he raised his voice on me… i am getting fraustrated about this whole temper issue.. i know they are short tempered sometimes, but it is getting tiresome for me…

    i want to stop the drama…but it seems that we kept bumping each other’s head…it is so difficult..

  627. #627 by baffledgirl on November 27, 2009 - 7:43 pm

    Jane,

    Yeah ever since he told me his real feelings for me, I couldn’t stop asking for reassurance. Then that’s when the contact started to lessen and I started to look at this taurus astrology sign and here I am, I found you guys.
    Yup today is day 6 of us not talking… ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I’m sad, this is the longest we’ve gone without communicating. But I will not text him or anything.
    I gently confronted him online about three weeks ago about his lack of communication lately and he said he doesn’t have to text me all the time. I said yeah i understand that. And he was taking a long time to reply to my IM, like…at least 15 minutes, so i got mad but didn’t blow up on him, i just told him i’m gonna go and i signed off. He then texted me right away and acted like nothing happened. Then last friday online, i told him i’m not used to him not contacting me a lot….and he said sometimes that’s how it is and he said sorry for acting like he’s distant. And now its day 6. But i will be strong and not let this get to me. Its so hard ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
    Its like, I just want to ask him straight up what he wants from me. He knows im sensitive but if he rejected me and told me that he’s no longer interested, then fine, i’ll move on. But I can’t figure him out cause he’s not telling me straight up that he doesn’t like me anymore. He just disappears. Im so confused! This is the FIRST time i’ve ever dealt with a taurus and let alone a guy like this! I’ve never felt these feelings for any guy. I just want to know if he likes me or not, if not then okay…he will never hear from me again, but the yo-yo-ing of stringing me along and such, its driving me crazy.
    I don’t know WHY its so hard for me to let him go. Other guys I’ve dealt with, I just dropped them. But I cant seem to drop him easily.

  628. #628 by saggi girl on November 27, 2009 - 8:33 pm

    baffledgirl,

    same as me… it is hard to drop him.. actually i dropped him before but i picked up again..i am not trying to scare you… you just started journey… so many dramas will come… so you’d better prepare for it if you want to stay..

    They do not contact you very often especially when you just started dating..mine takes over a month to ask me out( he asked my phone number on the street).. can you believe it.. during this month, we just talked over the phone, not much. I never called him during that month even though i want to…then he normally called me to say good night…i think at the beginning, you have to keep it light… that is my experience…as i went through that before.. i suffered.. i learned…showing him that you are interested but sit back.. do not make it like that he owes you call or text anything as he does not… i was acting like what you are doing now, then he told me that he can not deal with it..

    right now, we are ok with communication, he normally calls everyother day, if we dont talk, we will text each other for good night…

    do not act like that,,, keep it light… he is just the guy you are interested, you are the same to him…nothing is more now..otherwise, you will drive yourself crazy,,

  629. #629 by Jane on November 27, 2009 - 9:27 pm

    Jess
    Thankyou for your imput to me, i do appreciarte it. Of course your 1year anniversary is coming up for you both, how wonderful, i bet you never thought you wud make it this far with all the taurus fun and games!! I am happy for you Jess you really have studied your taurus well! You say that once you became more intimate your guy became more attentive, maybe that is what hasnt helped me then as we did spend the nite together back in june but we didnt have sex as i wasnt ready, he was very respectful of that and we did get real close and do other things if you know what i mean! lol I just wanted to wait and he respected that. We have been on and off that much (wish i had met you guys sooner!) that it just hasnt been an oppertunity for us to be intimate and now that we are just ‘friends’ well who knows if we’ll get another chance!

    Well update is, after i text yday morning to see how his headache was, he text back and i text in evening and he didnt reply well he text me this morning and appologised for not replying ( he has appologised the last twice he done that, he never used to appologise, he just wouldnt mention it so thats different!!) I text him this afternoon to ask how his day was as he in a different job for few weeks and hates it so i thought he appreciate my concern for him, he did, he text back and said he nearly finished for the day and it been hectic, i text and said ‘oh babe sorry your day been crazy bet you be glad to finish you have a good evening’ he asked how i was and when i told him i havnt been too well, just full of cold and cant warm up, he replied straight back with concern and then text later asking how am feeling!! So confusing as to what he REALLY feels for me, if anything at all! you are right with ACTION and i wont forget that.You so right when you say ‘how deep they want you is what matters’ I was wondering to ask you Jess if this is your first taurus guy? Did you know how different taurus is in their way before you came here? Catch you soon and thankyou again xx

    Saggi girl
    Thankyou for your response to me, i value your opinion you are right that they are slow, like snails for sure!! I do realise how they need to be sure, i understand that and i hear what you say that i should just let it be for now and see how things go. I hope i can get patience like you did coz i am not the best patient person!I must keep learning fast lol. Your situation must be so frustrating for you at times as he sounds like he really in to you yet you understandably have doubts to his truth. I think taurus sloooow pace here will not help so is it any wonder how patient you have learnt to be, so its good that it will help you whilst you wait this out and stand by this guy as he sorts his ‘other’ life out to free himself for you I dont know about the green card situation or if he telling you the truth but i guess that at the moment you have no reason to doubt him. Focussing on ‘you’ as you said will no doubt be good for you and it will help keep your heart safe and you can every so often call him on it, i hear taurus guys dont like confrontation but if you need to voice something, say it, in your ladylike manner no yelling then give him time to think about what you have said and to come back to you on it. This is also good for you with the ‘Drama’ you talking about him raising his voice too much, tell him in a calm manner how it upsets you when he talks that way, let him respond to you.They deal that way better! As you said to me patience! patience! patience! Good luck to you, look forward to hearing how things are going. Take care xx

    Hope everyone is well and looking after themselves! xx

  630. #630 by Jane on November 27, 2009 - 9:53 pm

    Baffledgirl
    Hi, my situation was a little different to yours in the beginning as for the first two months he was all over me like he couldnt get enough, text calls meeting up. Always telling me how amazing i am etc then i fell for him told him and he went distant on me!!

    What i have learnt from these lovely ladies on here is if they dont contact or text you back, DONT REACT! thats important just act like it not bother you, just reply like an hour or so later as if nothings happened and he more likely to respond to you, sounds mad but it does work and it gives him time to think about you. I feel like you sometimes and i get unsure and frustrated as to whether to text him or not but i dont react to him not contacting me, i used to and it was pointed out to me, taurus guys think you trying to control them when you do that. So consentrate on you, its hard, i am working on it to! They wont change for anyone and find it so hard to show feelings and all the time he is watching your reaction to him, they are so confusing and just dont get how odd they are but hey we love them dont we!! Much to our dismay! lol! Take care, chill sit back, its a long ride! xx

  631. #631 by baffledgirl on November 27, 2009 - 10:11 pm

    Jane,
    I’m upset right now….
    He hasn’t talked to me in SIX days, and I JUST checked myspace and he posted bulletins last night. There’s absolutely no way he couldn’t send me a text to say hi. I’m so upset ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I definitely feel like he no longer likes me…. ๐Ÿ˜ฅ
    But I’m going to cotinue to not contact him. He’s not going to get a mad reaction from me or anything. I cannot believe he went from communicating with me EVERY SINGLE DAY for 6 months and then now, its like, its so easy for him to forget about me ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    I’m hurt. I can’t believe him.

  632. #632 by Jane on November 27, 2009 - 10:12 pm

    Saggi girl
    I meant to say, i dont know for sure if my taurus is seeing anyone else, his work committments and rigid day to day routine tells me he isnt with anyone else, i hope i am right, but i am unable to even ask him as we are ‘friends’ so what right have i got!!? He did say bout a month ago when i asked him if he moving on he said no he isnt moving on and he is single until he ready!! He did become more attentive in contact after that, flirting in text for about two weeks then just regular contact again. Dont know what he meant by that! Just hope he not stringing me along!

  633. #633 by baffledgirl on November 27, 2009 - 10:19 pm

    Saggi girl,

    yeah you’re right…he doesn’t owe me anything. But i just cannot comprehend as to HOW he could keep in contact with me for 6 months and now, he acts as if he’s no longer interested in me.
    I’m upset right now because i feel like he doesn’t care about me anymore. I just want to talk to him about how i feel but i kow for sure he is going to think i’m being overdramatic. So for now, i’ll just keep doing what im doing and just not contact him. Its just so hard for me to accept how he used to contact me every single day for six months and now….barely anything.

    It was only last month when he told me he liked me. I don’t understand how he can lose his feelings for me in ONE month when he’s been pursuing me for a long time….

  634. #634 by Jane on November 27, 2009 - 10:27 pm

    Baffledgirl
    I am so sorry you so upset, they just dont get how they hurt us so much. Be strong sweetie, if you feel in your heart you want to text him or other way contact, then you have to follow your heart but remember, calm no anger or concern. You may want to sound upbeat, ‘hi, just saying hello and hope all is well’ that way you are giving a subtle message that you thinkin of him but not asking for a reply, he more likely to reply if he think you dont expect it. Follow your heart, if you can wait longer then do that but no point suffering, just be feminine in your approuch, ladylike. Good luck, i am off to bed i will check in tomoro. Take care xx

  635. #635 by baffledgirl on November 27, 2009 - 10:43 pm

    Jane,

    I think i’ll continue to be silent. If he wants to talk to me, he should contact me. Its unfair how he’s always on my mind and I used to be on a lot, but him not talking to me for six days….just makes me think he doesn’t like me anymore. Im disappointed in him. What I dont understand is how you could forget about a person you ‘supposedly’ like and have been talking to for six months straight….

    Idk if this is a test, to see if i can be on my own and not bother him about him not contacting me. Or if he truly forgot about me….

  636. #636 by piscesgirl on November 28, 2009 - 8:20 am

    Jess, Jane, Baffledgirl, saggigirl
    thanks 4 sharing and advice,

    oooh i’m not too young anymore, i’m 25 and the taurus guy 26. yes, we both student, met at college.
    Ok, I think I just will see what will happen on movie day next tuesday..

    jess n Jane,share to me, pls..LOL, *wink wink*

  637. #637 by Jess on November 28, 2009 - 9:19 am

    Saggi girl,

    Hi, so nice to see you on this board again! I’m really glad you find me as a friend and being helpful for you! Know what, you did the same for me too! really happy you still being around here!

    About your guy raise up voice on you and told you what to do… EXACTLY THE SAME i got from mine…. This is one of the drama we had during 2 of our trips. You would not believe how mean he can be, he raised his voice in front of the hotel staffs just because he was not happy the way i talked to the staff, he said I was too nice and too polite!!!!!!! GEEEEEEZ! can you believe that?! He said I’m being too nice, people mistake it as being stupid and it’s why i will have people trying to fool me. Ok, his reason is right but he raised his voice in front of other people and keep continue preaching me for some more… Other time, during our bike trip, I went to ask some guys for direction but took too long time (some difficulty to understand the language and the guys were trying to draw me a map) when i went back to my guy, he raised his voice how i gone for HOUR just to ask for direction… and we ended up going the wrong way then he raised his voice preaching me again that those guys just fool me because i was too nice, next time if anyone can’t help answer a simple question of Yes or NO, it means they are stupid and just leave don’t waste time with stupid people…

    Saggi girl, do you see how mean and rude my guy is…

    The sex thing, every time it will be him who initiate. We don’t do it often only when we are on trip or when he came to stay at a place close to me. Taurus is really sensual he will try to get me in the mood, sometimes i didn’t feel like and try to can resist but he wll ‘force’ it and keep arousing my feeling till i give in…
    May be you are still shy with your guy in bed, so he doesn’t feel like exploring you too much as it might make you feel uncomfy and get a bad idea that he’s obsessed about sex. Me and my guy is really very open mind couple. We talked about our fantasy, we talked about how and how much we want it. As long as my guy doesn’t start his porn joke, I feel comfortable talking to him about my desire. Saggi girl, take my advice on this one, it’s ok you feel shy to talk about it with your man, just be open mind and try little by little talking about it with him (doesnt matter you will be brushing while speaking…lol.)

    Oh saggi girl, I really hope this will not happen to you, but if your bull is similar to mine, sooner he might start applying his manipulating technique on you… Try not to blow it up like I did LOL.

  638. #638 by Jess on November 28, 2009 - 9:37 am

    Hi Jane,

    Right, I never expected it would have been this long with this Taurus man, if you read up to my very first post when I first got here… I really really appreciate and feel thankful for all the girls here who share their stories and help each other to understand, to be calm, to support thru our bull battle…LOL.

    Anyway your situation look positive if you ask me, don’t worry about the intimate thing. Believe me Taurus can wait! as much as he wants to get it, he also want to wait for you to want it too!

    My guy is a second Taurus I date. The first Taurus guy I dated only 3-4 months until I figured out I never have felt and would never will feel for him more than a friend. He was really hurt because he told me I’m the second girl he really feel love. The guy respect me by not bothering me but still keep asking from time to time if i can give chance, but not until he got a new girlfriend, that is when I never heard from him again. The 2 Taurus guys are similar in some ways that both are honest and only see one girl at a time, both don’t like talking on the phone, they are blunt and very stubborn and both made a great lover in bed LOL.

  639. #639 by Jane on November 28, 2009 - 2:33 pm

    Jess
    Thankyou, the only reason i am worried about not yet having sex with him is i know they love it and i dont want him to look else where! I guess you are right tho that he would wait if it me he wants. He did respect me about it. Also when saggi girl said to me to make sure he never see anyone else at the same time as me, she’s right that i should know that but we are just ‘friends’ right now and i cant ask him coz really as ‘friends’ its not my business! It is worrying me tho, do you think i should ask him!? He has said he is single until he ready to move forward, although acts like we are together! You are with 2nd taurus guy! Glutton for punishment eh! lol! Well at least you knew a little of what to expect and got a head start!!! What you saying about when you asking for directions, how jealous he got with you! They can blow up with the least thing and need reasurence!lol I have read every post on here and yes your right it is just great how everyone helps eachother with these bulls, god knows we deffo need eachothers support! I am glad i am here and met you all, thanx again x

    Baffled girl
    You know in your heart if you doin the right thing, you say 6months solid contact, this guy may just need space to figure what he wants for you both, he may be a jerk and moved on also but if he has done that then its good you know that now before you get too deep with him. Please try and be patient, few more days and see how you feel. These guys are complicated to say the least and cant be treated like other men! keep us posted x

  640. #640 by Jane on November 28, 2009 - 5:10 pm

    Hi Everyone,
    I hope you are all ok, well i know what i am about to say you will wonder what all the fuss is about concidering how these bulls behave but after his ever so attentive texts to me yesterday as i was not too well, asking how i was ect, i text him 12.30pm today ( he usually texts me every morning) but he didnt today. I know it seems really small but this is not like him, yes he has disappeared before for day or so and even not replied to my text that i sent in the evenin (would reply next day) but during the day he ALWAYS replies to me. Sorry if i sound crazy as it has only been 5hours! lol well this is how he’s got me, CRAZY!! dont get me wrong i havnt been focus on this all day but i have been on and off waiting for a reply! i am even now worried is he ok! I have never needed to send another text before and i certainly do not want to come across needy but should i just wait for him to contact me!? Please let me know if any of you sweet ladies have text or not text in this position? If someone else was asking me this i would say DONT TEXT HIM and wait for him but this is new to me and i wonder is it a test from him because i have only recently started to ignore his delay to me where i used to ask him about it coz it would upset me, so maybe he seeing if i act the same!! Cunning bulls they dont miss anything lol

  641. #641 by Jane on November 28, 2009 - 5:40 pm

    Hi All
    Well i had to come straight back and tell you, I am sure you will all condem me as having no hope! lol Well he just text and acted like i text 5mins ago not 5hours ago! lol He explained how he has been in to town looking around and how cold it is etc! I have told him how excited i am bout xmas so he said ‘hey babe only little over 3weeks to go and santa be here!! lol well ladies i feel like a fool but if i cant be a fool around you wonderful people then where can i be!!?? lol I must admit tho i do still struggle with the text or not text situation! I dont even know if we will see eachother over xmas. Maybe i should suggest something and rattle his feathers! lol I know one thing we will all have degrees in ‘THE WAYS AND HOWS OF THE TAURUS MALE!!!

  642. #642 by Confused Libra on November 28, 2009 - 5:51 pm

    Well, Happy Thanksgiving weekend to all.
    If it makes anyone of you feel not left alone or better. My taurus and I have not talked, texted, or see each other since this Monday.We left our text conversation with me asking when he was leaving for Thanksgiving vacation with his children (and the children’s mother) to be with their cousins (from mother’s side) and when he was returning. I heard nothing so a few hours later, I texted him and asked if it was a hard question or he prefers not to say and that I feel very uncomfortable being left with all the wonders. I ; however, do not have the desire to be rejected again by calling, texting, or emailing. He works at his own time and if he feels like talking to me, there is nothing out there to stop him. I have come to realize that he is the sand in my palm, if i stand still, i have a chance to keep him. Just this last week we have talked about seeing each other 2-3 times a week after the children are in bed is his comfort zone and I think that’s his max tolerance being a father who holds a fulltime job to have other times to himself for work, for fun, and just be alone. He also happens to be an introvert that makes things more difficult. I am hurt that he doesn’t even think of calling or texting in the last few days particularly Thursday being Thanksgiving day. Sigh.

  643. #643 by baffledgirl on November 28, 2009 - 7:16 pm

    Confused Libra,

    I know what you mean. My taurus and I haven’t talked in a WEEK. This is soooo odd for both of us because he usually doesn’t allow this to happen. Longest time we’ve gone without talking was 3-4 days. I really do NOT know what is going on….I dont want to ask him for more reassurance because its going to just make him think I really am getting ‘too serious’ cause we’re not official bf/gf. Like you, I don’t understand why our taurus guys can’t send a quick 5 second text. There are 24 hours in a day….but not 5 seconds to spare.. :/
    I just wish my taurus guy would tell me if he’s over me so i could have a definite answer and move on. But he’s not letting me go which confuses me even more.

  644. #644 by Jess on November 29, 2009 - 2:17 am

    Jane,

    LOL. Stop being paranoid and analyze his every move! Don’t worry about him testing you or not. Think of a child, Taurus is a actually simple guy just the little problem is that they only think and act and say WHATEVER THEY WANT AND ONLY ACCORDING TO THEIR OWN DESIRE….LOL.

    Oh, you might want to start in advance getting used to him not texting in the moring (as usual), and if he did please don’t panic or take it as a bad sign. Focus on a big picture instead.

  645. #645 by Jess on November 29, 2009 - 2:34 am

    Confused Libra,

    Is your situation getting better? Your guy start taking you out more than spending time at his place?
    Anyway when you ask him by text and get no reply, you may want to leave it may be for a day until you follow another one (if it’s not urgent issue) but try not to write in a nagging tone or pressing for response. That smell problem for him and Taurus doesn’t like to confront the problem during the moment of heat, they will wait (aka disappear) until you calm down or until you give in because you want so much to hear from him that you know you rather not bringing up that issue.

  646. #646 by Jess on November 29, 2009 - 2:40 am

    baffledgirl,

    There is no use and no need to try figuring out why he didn’t text you. Please remember this is not going to be his game as long as you are not playing along. I mean do not reciprocate to this! It’s not the competition who is the toughest and who will give in and text first. If you miss him too much or wonder why he did that, then text him BUT IN A NICE FEMININE MANNER (i mean no sulking picking kind of words) pretend like nothing happen, just ask innocent but also remember he might not reply right away.

  647. #647 by Jess on November 29, 2009 - 2:48 am

    Ladies,

    Check out this site. I’m sure some guys are aware of it but please read it with cautions! I mean in relationship it could be a little motivation to apply mild psychology or little game BUT it’s also a two-edged sword especially with Taurus men because they are actually simple and straight forward kind of guy and do not tolerate drama/game from girls

    So this is just for us to learn to understand more and hope that it helps us in working on patient.

    http://www.theyhatethegame.com/she-isnt-returning-your-calls/

  648. #648 by piscesgirl on November 29, 2009 - 8:21 am

    Well girls, from all ur post, I become curious what actually attract Taurus guy? what they first time see in woman?

    I know it’s like stupid questions.just curious

  649. #649 by Jane on November 29, 2009 - 9:06 am

    Jess
    LOL you are so right i do get paranoid at times! Virgo you see and quit the perfectionist and having things right!!! lol I must chill! What on earth would us ladies do without you here, you are so helpful to us all i hope you know that, actually i know you know that as it helps you to as you are here of course lol I wonder when you say ‘get used to him not texting in morning like usual’ I always thought taurus do every thing ‘routine’ so do you think when they do this they do it so they dont appear too keen or something or is it more to do with stubborness and doing how they like!!?
    We where texting last night and he told me he spends xmas day alone, he made a joke that he’ll have a mince pie with a candle on top! ohh well i felt upset at that to think of him alone so i text and said he was welcome to spend it with us if he would like as my ‘friend and guest’ i dont know if i done right thing, (pressure and all that)i told him to think about it anyway and not answer yet. Some how i dont think he will tho. I said it would be nice to see him before xmas for a coffee or maybe i could cook him a meal, he text right back and said ‘yes a meal will be wonderful’!! (i havnt cooked for him before!) So watch this space!!!lol

    Jess i hope things are going well for you at the moment. Have you both made any sweet plans for ‘Anniversary’ As this is your 2nd xmas together will you spend it with eachother?
    It is interesting how you say in earlier post how you approuched your guy about ‘little contact’ and that you can only be friends coz you need more contact, he asked you how much you need (he listened and acted on your request) He must have realised he not want to lose you and he prob realise it not unreasonable that you asked that You have had contact daily since then!! That is an interesting thing to me lol
    Thank you for the site info i will try it out!! x

  650. #650 by Jane on November 29, 2009 - 10:46 am

    piscesgirl

    Hi your question is not stupid at all. For me and my guy when we first met he was like a deer caught in the headlights! lol (we have sinse joked about it) what i mean is he told me i very different to any girl he been with before and he thought i out of his league, of course i put him straight on that and we had a lovely first evening. He has told me that his attraction to me was he thought i very calm in my manner (god help me if he saw this site!lol) also how feminine and ladylike i appear also he say sexy and good looking, this of course what he said but in general it seems taurus men like what they see, it is about visual and one i hear often is THE FIVE SENSES!! they are attracted through eyes so look good, nose so smell good ears so sound good and taste coz they love their food so good if you can cook!!lol as i said in my above post, i am planning to cook him ameal for 1st time and a way to their heart is apparently through their stomach!! so hears hoping! hope that helps x

  651. #651 by Rubina on November 29, 2009 - 12:27 pm

    Hello, wow great to come across this website. I’m involved with an Taurus 2.

    Okay, this is the story. Me Aquarius (24 jan), he Taurus (24 apr).
    We met 2 months ago. We clicked right from the start/ great chemistry. He tells me right from the start that having a relationship can be quite hard with him because he travels for work. Mostly one week home. And one week out of the country. He loves his job but is looking for someone who can live with his lifestyle.
    I’m okay with that, because I kinda need my space myself. So it doesn’t bother me at all. Buttt it does confuses things now for me. We kissed on first date and he made immediatly plans to see me a few day’s later. He kept in contact every day, he came on a bit strong but I liked him so it didn’t matter.
    Second date, was nice again, had dinner, watched a movie, great easy talks, fun and some more kisses
    Since that date he kept in contact quite regular. Mostly him initiating it. But it took him 2 weeks to make plans with to see me again. So I’m getting a bit anxioust if he’s into me or not.
    The 3th date was perfect: he cooked a great meal for me.. He made quite some trouble to impress me. I felt even a bit intimidated because I’m an awfull cook. Anyway, I slept over at his place and we had sex. The next morning we had breakfast together but I felt somewhat I and he needed space so I left at noon. He send me a message to thank me for nice time. And then I didn’t hear from him for 2 day’s … I kept busy with other things but I felt kinda I lost him already. But then again, he started conversations again, he opens up about him, his life and past relationships.
    But again … had to wait a long time again for date 4. That was last wednesday. He would be a week in town, which is about an hour drive of my hometown. But he came to see me. We had a great evening, all went very well, great talks and fun together but also deep conversations.
    He slept over and at one point a brought up the discussion of safe sex … he kinda freaked out about that. That this was going to fast for him. For me that was quite strange because we were actually having sex already (safe though).
    We both opened up, he told me a bit about his fears and I did a bit about my fears. But at one point I did say (may’be a bit to soon):
    Sometime’s I have feeling that my feelings for you are stronger. He replies: I think you just run a bit faster then me.
    Look I realy like you, hope this will last a bit longer. He hugs and kisses me and I ask him:
    “How do you see that?. He say’s he enjoys spending time with me but lives in the present. I say: “well okay, but you have to understand, I’m okay with only seeing you once in two/ three weeks due to longdistance but in this case… I only want to be with someone who realy likes to be with me, so if you are not, I don’t want to waste my time and you can just tell me and I’ll be okay. You will tell me right?
    He replied: Yes, but don’t worry!!

    After that convo he kept in almost daily contact, either text or phone or messenger, but not as frequent anymore. There are day’s when I don’t hear from him at all.
    It bugs me that he doesn’t make plans. I’m so not sure where I stand with him. Any opinions?
    Did I scare him away with my convo?

  652. #652 by piscesgirl on November 29, 2009 - 1:21 pm

    Welcome to d club Rubina,
    hahaha
    WOW u r lucky , dated him already n quite fast run, at least he cooked 4 u already. Maybe u scared him because u running too fast, but you know as all of girls in this web talked about, give ur Tman times, well actually I’m not on position that can give u any good advice, b’coz I even not dated wif my guy yet, but I’ve learnt many things about Tguy from this web, many girls here very helpfull.

    Rubina, just give ur guy a month times, i know that’s too long but just be patient, that’s also what i’m going to do to my guy, if he in to me in this 30 days of time he must be contact me.

    Jane,
    WOW thanks u so much 4 sharing..then the next question would be, what will make they wanna keep their woman? i mean, if first they see woman from outside (physicall) only, then what would make them consider to keep them or let them go? hahaha..i’m so curious girl huh..

  653. #653 by Jess on November 29, 2009 - 1:50 pm

    Hi Jane,

    We don’t really have or celebrate anniversary. I don’t think he ever remember that. It was more co-incident. We have not met for almost a month now. Remember after I asked to break up with him early this month and we did not talk at all for 10 days but during those period i guess both of us realized just how much we still want each other…

    I admit I’m a bit excited to see him next time (it will be on Friday) I have to tell you girls, every time I meet my guy it feels like the first date for us (i thought i was the only one who feel that, but later on he told me this feeling which i was delighted as it was the same i feel but i didn’t tell him i feel the same too) See, i can’t keep away from web board about Taurus…LOL.

    Last Xmas we didn’t do anything too special, just went out for a dinner, a long talk during a long walk, that was all. We didn’t even have gift for each other. Something we have in common and i really like it is that, both of us are not a big fan for festivals and seasonal holidays. We don’t treat it as too special. We like to have holidays when others are working LOL.

    I’ll cross my fingers for your first time cooking for your guy ๐Ÿ˜‰ LOL. Don’t worry too much Jane, it’s the intention that matters.

    Piscesgirl,

    Astrology says what attract Taurus guy in general is the feminine like. Its true. Now it depends on each Taurus also. I can only speak for mine. I asked him this Q too and he told me first he gets attracted to the way i look which he finds it different than others that as I look very sensual but the same time aggressive (I don’t think I look feminine because I wear jeans most of the time…)

    What i find it add and funny is that, normally when we meet I’ll be out with jeans and tank top but now that i want to look feminine for him so i started to wear more dress and skirt , his reaction changed very obviously! He can’t keep his eyes away from my body and it was like the first thing we should do is to have sex! LOL.

    Oh oh oh! almost forgot this one. I’m not sure how it works with other Taurus men, but mine is a big fan with high heel shoes!

  654. #654 by qnzlibra on November 29, 2009 - 6:28 pm

    since I have dealing with my bull(2 months), I have been trying to figure him outโ€ฆAt the begining, he asked what i wanted and I told him i would like a friendโ€ฆand a relationship eventually if it grows to that, but i like to take it slow and see what happens. He told me he wanted a f buddy, but everything he wanted, including that was what i wantedโ€ฆbut he called it a f buddy.true to form, he disappears(no longer than a day..day and a half), doesnโ€™t keep all dates, and goes at his own pace. Has opened up to me about his family and medical issues with him. he always wants to know what I am doing and if i will be going out but doesnโ€™t ask to see me if i say im not doing anythingโ€ฆI have met his daughter which is his world and he loves my son to death. My girlfriend overheard him tell his friends that iโ€™m his girl and wouldnโ€™t let any guys talk to me at the club. but he never asked me to be his gf or how he feels about meโ€ฆone night he promised me we would go to the movies but he went mia and later said due to an emergency he had we didnโ€™t and because he promised, i got really upset and told him that while understood his scheduele, i wanted someone who would spend some time with me and since he didnโ€™t care i would stop caringโ€ฆamongist other thingsโ€ฆthat wasnโ€™t the first time he broke a date. Of course he didnโ€™t respond so sunday we didnโ€™t go to the movies either. The next evening he called asking about โ€œthose crazy msgs.โ€should i ask him if we should be openly dating, and see what he says, or should i go with the flow?

  655. #655 by Jane on November 29, 2009 - 8:04 pm

    Piscesgirl

    Hi, when you say see a girl from outside (physically) Do you mean from a distance like across a room? If so, then its like i said before, its all in the vision at first, i dont mean stunningly beautiful or anything, remember the 5 senses!! Thats what they base their attraction on If you mean meet a taurus and have sex like first night well taurus guys love sex as we know but someone they want long term with then they prepared to wait for it if you know what i mean!

    My guy is very tactile most of them are and in the begining he would ask subtle questions like, how many guys i had had sex with and if i had ever had a one night stand, i new he was delighted by my answer and very glad to hear that i had very few sexual partners and had never had a one night stand. You see, he was checking me out to see what kinda girl i am, i did not realise this at the time of course but my guy did alot of ‘snooping’ if you like in the begining i mean he still does it now! lol So, to answer your question, they do all these things whilst they make up their mind about you. This is what i know to be true in my guy any way. Try not to worry and be yourself, thats the most important thing. As you will know from my posts i am still stressing over this and that! lol But hey we love these bull men thats why we here afterall!!! x

  656. #656 by baffledgirl on November 29, 2009 - 8:08 pm

    Oh my goodness…
    Its been a week and one day ( i know i know, i’m keeping track :/ ) since i’ve spoken to my taurus man. This is driving me crazy. I just want to ask him if he has lost interest in me, so i can move on for myself, but if he’s still interested in me, and i asked him that question, i know for damn sure he will think i’m being dramatic. I’m not sure if I can keep up with this anymore…From this whole experience, I’ve gained patience, but I feel like my patience is slowly running out. Its affecting me more than its affecting him…
    I have no idea what to do ladies. I guess I’ll just wait for him to contact me on his own.

  657. #657 by Jane on November 29, 2009 - 8:28 pm

    Jess

    Hi so those 10 days of no contact gave you both time to take stock, miss eachother and help you put in perspective what you both wanted eh, so it worked well. Those 10 days must have been a nightmare!!lol but all good and it was funny to hear how when you meet him how you feel like its the first time, like first date coz i feel exactly the same ( dont know if he does he never said!) but i get like pre date nerves and everything its so good (god i love him!!)
    Oh, to update you. you where right when you said get used to it in advance, him not texting everymorning as usual, and now today i havnt heard from him at all! lol Think i may have freaked him inviting him for xmas!! OMG!

    So next fri big day for you and your taurus, I hope it goes well for you Jess and i will look forward to hearing how it went. Good luck to you, i mean i will check in with you before that. Thankyou for your well wishes, i to hope my meal plan goes well!! Keep you all posted! x Happy days!

  658. #658 by virgo10 on November 29, 2009 - 8:40 pm

    baffledgirl,
    I totally understand how you feel, I think if you really want to you should just call him. I know its hard but you dont want to regret not calling him. These taurus guys are SMART, they act dumb but in fact I think they are just testing us….

    I find is so interesting and funny lol that we all have similar experiences with our taurus guys. Yes they are seriously messed up but man there is something about them that drives us CRAZY, hence the reason we have all joined this forum.

    I think a lot of them are just talkers, they are so SLICK and think we will fall for it, I have thats for sure but now i am hesitant to believe him. They talk the talk but can’t walk the walk, I called it out on my guy, he kinda just brushed it off but its the truth. Another thing is that these guys are seriously arrogant, which for me is fine because I like it lol but they are quite selfish and can be inconsiderate…. but the positives make up for it. these guys are so PASSIONATE, I love it lol

    i havnt seen my taurus in like almost 3 months, he cancelled out last time we were supposed to see each other. He texted me, saying “I know I look bad. Oh well. Time will tell. You must be impressed with what you saw bc you still want more.” How messed up is that? He obviously knows i like him but yet continues to play mind games with me, i dont know…. all i know is that Time will telll…..

  659. #659 by Jane on November 29, 2009 - 8:49 pm

    Baffledgirl

    Oh baffled girl you sound so troubled, i hope you are ok. My god these men really put us through our paces for sure! You have more parience than me, my guy never did more than 2,3days max but i know i would have got in touch by now, even just to check in.
    You are putting yourself through this torture, and its not good for you, Its like we said isnt it you could text a sweet, feminine text like hi just saying hello hope all is well, you see that way you may get some clarity, as Jess said tho you my not get a reply but at least baffled girl you would be doing something coz you dont feel good right now. You would have to give him time to reply and if he doesnt you will at least have an idea and you could then just call him on it, but most important FEMININE APPROUCH! Its the only way to get his attention, be strong. He may be thinking you have disappeared and his response will confirm for you x

  660. #660 by baffledgirl on November 29, 2009 - 11:02 pm

    Virgo10

    oh my…that was pretty arrogant (what your guy said). But yeah ughh i know! There’s something about them! It just bothers me so much how my guy was soo consistent on contacting me and now, nothing! I have no idea if this is a test, i really don’t know. I’ve asked him before if he meant everything he told me, and he said yes and that it doesn’t make sense to him why i think he’s just playing me. But look at him now, totally disappeared. But i see his stupid bulletin posts on myspace. I just want the old him back…. The one who wooed me and gave me lots of attention through contact. Since he’s far from me, his contact means a lot to me…

  661. #661 by baffledgirl on November 29, 2009 - 11:09 pm

    Jane

    Yeah I’m pretty troubled right now. I just feel so stressed out. I can’t stop thinking about this. In a way, I want to text him, but like…the only reason why i’m not is because I want him to do it on his own when HE wants to. Before it used to be him who kept constant contact. I would text him cute feminine things and he loved them. But now that he’s disappeared, I feel like, if i send him a text he’ll just see that i’m clingy. Its like the roles have switched, now I’m the one who tries to keep things alive. I’m not even sure if this guy is still into me. He likes me even though I’m far from him because i’m super different from the girls he’s used to. He’s such a bad boy and I’m a total good girl lol. He loves my innocence. But I have no idea if he’s still into me or not.
    Oh and trust me this one week of no contact is taking its toll on me. It used to be 1 or 2 says that he’ll only disappear. 3 days was max. But now its like 8 days! its insane. He’s puttting me through a very rocky rollercoaster. I noticed the more i try to talk about how i feel about him not contacting me, the more he pulls away. I’m so distressed about this!

  662. #662 by piscesgirl on November 30, 2009 - 12:11 am

    Jess,
    thanks 4 ur comment, yeah i also remember when i first time use skirt to school, our mutual friend said that my guy said i look good that day, but the things is, why he didn’t said it by hisself? or maybe our mutual friend just lying to me and make joke wif me. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    Jane,
    no i meant physicall look is not look from the distance, but see our physicall look to know that he in or not in to us. yeah u rite, I won’t worry too much anymore, btw what u mean with feminime approach? can u explain little bit? lol..

    baffled girl,
    yes just wait n let him take the first initiative to contact you..

    virgo10,
    Wow, your guy sounds like my guy, very arrogant!! and you know what, my guy nver even asked me about what i’m like, what my interest, what my favorite food, or sort of things like that., if he talked, it must be talked about himself!! what the hell..

  663. #663 by piscesgirl on November 30, 2009 - 12:15 am

    baffledgirl,
    evenmore i want to say give him 30 days of time, lol but it’s true, give him 1 month times, then we’ll know if he still in to you or not..

  664. #664 by baffledgirl on November 30, 2009 - 12:24 am

    Piscesgirl

    Yeah a month will be my limit. Oh I hope to God he won’t let 30 days pass! Even three weeks is enough for me to take a hint that he’s no longer into me. If a guy was into a girl, he wouldn’t let three weeks pass without even a simple text. it is just unrealistic to not have 5 seconds to say hello. But….I guess we shall see. Please cross your fingers for me!! I really want my ‘relationship’ with him to continue and see if there will be a future for us in the future. I really like this guy. But if he just played with my feelings, I would be incredibly disappointed in him.

  665. #665 by piscesgirl on November 30, 2009 - 10:36 am

    Update,
    he just not in to me anymore, finally i went to the seminar by myself, he even doesn’t text me to say he won’t come or whatever, he just hang me like that.what the shits!!
    n tomorow we supposed to have movie day wif my friends (if he come along will be 4 of us) if he come along. well..we’ll see what will happen tomorow..i prepare myself that he wont come with us..whatever, this guy make me sick by his act.

    baffled girl,
    good luck 4 u girl, cheers up n dont thinking of him too much – i promise myself about that too or we will end up as crazy..even though we like our guy so much, but they are treat us like a shit! da*n! Let cross fingers together..

  666. #666 by saggi girl on November 30, 2009 - 4:44 pm

    Jess,

    i am glad that you are going to see him this friday… the first time after the breaking-up drama. LOL.. good luck to you..

    about the yelling part where it happened on thanksgiving on last thursday..i walked him out unhappily..he gave me a hug and kissed good night… then he said” thanks for the dinner and the drama.” i was acting cold and then i walked back to my home without waiting on him backing up his car and wave at him as i did in usual.. he did not call me on friday night. then i missed him and then saturday came, he called in the afternoon.. telling me that he needs to do some work and in the suburban area and will visit a friend later.. as he has not been their home for a long time..then he told me that he wants to see me on sunday… but told me that he does not expect drama..as he was tired of it.. then i was like: i want to be in peace but do not want to be yelled at… that’s all.. you need to protect me…” then he was like” Jesus, you are being protected.” then i was like” yeah being protected by being yelled at.” then he was like” god, stop it…” then i was like” i will see you tomorrow.”

    then he called me on sunday morning and told me that he will stop by at 2pm..i told him that i want to see a movie.. he was like” ok, if you want to as i was not feeling very well. but i can go if you want to.” then he finally came… i made spagetti(maybe wrong spelling) noodle, some vegetables.. we had fun together… then he was like” what i am going to do with you, my crazy girlfriend.” then i was like” let me tell you a secret how to get along with me.” he was like” ok, what is that?” then i was like” well, i believe everything could be discussed but do not yell at me.. i never yelled at you even though sometimes you got on my nerve, did something stupid, i could be mad but never yelled at you as i felt that i was not being loved if you yelled at me for whatever the reason is..” then he was laughing out loud and stated that i was too funny the way i said it( means my facial expression).. he did not say anything just stated that it was too hard for him not to yell when i was being crazy or something..

    then he was telling me that the little girl from the family he visited asked him a question: what kind of fruit he thought she is?” then he told her that she is more like a Galapeno… then i was like” baby, so what kind of fruit you think i am.” then he was like” i do not know, i never thought about it.” then i was like” think about it now, i gave you 3 minutes.” then a few minutes later, he was like” you are like a coconut.. hard to deal with and tough outside but all good inside.. not too sweet, milky and nutritious… it is very good..” then i was like” well, i am not that ugly or that hard.” then he was like” yeah, right, not that hard, but it just how i felt about you… well, maybe like a Honeydew melon.. you know, not too sweet…’

    i think it is very funny for his comment..i also told him that i felt very bad when i fight with him and sometimes i will never want to talk to him, but i did miss him if we did not talk during the fight… but he was like” well, i won’t be crazy like that, i will just treat it as a fight… fight is a fight, that’s it…”

    then he stayed until 8pm, i walked him out… I have to say it was a good day…

  667. #667 by saggi girl on November 30, 2009 - 5:25 pm

    battledgirl,

    i am sorry to hear that your guy has not called yet but i really do not know the whole story why he stopped.. what is the scenario right before he stopped. did you guys fight or anything? what was the last conversation about? then i can help to relate…

    my guy dated a girl before, he told me that things did not work out.. then he lost interest and stopped calling… then that is the end of it.. but if you guy are getting along well and no fight right before that, it will be a different case…my guy disappeared on me for a few days when everything has been normal.. that is before we became girlfriend/boyfriend thing..then i texted him to call me, then he did but i blew off on him after i heard his innocent voice or attitude, i really wanted to slap him( i am not kidding).. then i was like” well, i worried about you a lot as it was very usual for you not to contact me not that long…if you do not want to talk to me, you can simply text to me, at least, this way i know you are ok….” then he apologized for that but he also said to me that i can contact him if i wanted to, but i did not do that either… then i told him that i was talking about him at the moment… after i hung it up and texted him another message saying” right it right, wrong is wrong, no excuse was needed.. sometimes, being nice and patient to someone does not mean they are weak, they can be stepped on… if you meant to call when you said it, then do it, otherwise, do not even bother to give out promise that you will call, as if you do not, i will start worry your wellbeing, which seems dramatic to you, but if you took that way, it is too bad…”

    well, that is how i did like a half year ago.. then next morning he called as he said and never disappear again..

    I think you need to analyze the situation, if you guys are on a fight, then it does not matter who contact who… but he just disappeared like that out of blue, you need to either confront him , be assertive to what you need; or wait it out to see if he is going to even contact again… but give youself a limit about how long you can wait.. but if i were you, i will call to check on him to see what is going on… he might think you are not interested either… i would start a call or text him like” haven’t heard from you for a while, hope you are doing well.” or something like that..

    because if two people are dating, communication is the key.. do not guess around what he might think, you know what you think… i just do not like to play with the game..

  668. #668 by saggi girl on November 30, 2009 - 5:28 pm

    Jane,

    cooking is very important… if you are a good cook, you can win some points… so, be prepared to cook a nice meal…

    keep me posted…

  669. #669 by baffledgirl on November 30, 2009 - 10:07 pm

    Saggi girl

    The thing is, me and him aren’t even dating. We talk like we are, but we’re not cause like i said we live about 5 hours away. And no we didn’t have a fight before he disappeared on me. I did confront him though about him not contacting me as much as he used to. And he gave me the excuse that sometimes he’s just busy and that when he has free time, that’s when he will contact me. I said, i’m not trying to bitch at him or nag him but i’m just not used to him not contacting me for more than 2-3 days. He said he was sorry if lately it seems like he has been distant from me. So I thought everything was clear. And then that night, he didnt text me. So we talked online the following day. I confronted him but i did it calmly. Things ended well, he told me again that if he doesnt contact me its just how it is from time to time. And he told me to contact him (and like you, i dont want to do that). That was the last time we talked. We were fine. No fights. Now, I have no idea what’s going on with him. Its like he completely forgot about me. I don’t understand how he couldve lost interest in such a short period of time. It was just in October when he told me that he liked me. I dont understand why the sudden of no contact. Day 9 today. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
    Definitely the longest time we’ve gone without talking. I told myself, he has been persistent in contacting me for the last 6 months…9 days is nothing compared to the 6 months that he has contacted me. But still, i can’t help but be sad about this. I know that some of you have suggested to send him a quick text, I want to do that, but I also don’t. I want him to do it cause he wants to. I have no idea what to do anymore. I feel like temporarily giving up, until he comes back to me.

  670. #670 by baffledgirl on November 30, 2009 - 10:23 pm

    piscesgirl,

    wow…he just stood you up?! that’s so mean ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
    i cannot believe these guys. Its like, when they know they have you, it seems as if they’re done wooing you and they treat you like shit. Whats the point of wooing if theyre going to back off when they have you….

    i just honestly cannot believe my taurus guy. i didn’t think he would pull this kind of act. i had doubts about him and he told me that i always doubt him but after i asked if hes been truthful about his feelings for me the whole time that we’ve talked he said yes he’s been truthful. So i stopped doubting him and then all of a sudden hes been like this……

  671. #671 by funnydove on December 1, 2009 - 3:19 am

    Hi all,

    I couldn’t stop crying…I cannot understand my taurus guy. He action so strange. He has a work trip for 8 days. I try to call to him but his mobile is always out of sevices. Yesterday is the day he came back. I called to him when he went to airport to come back and he explain that his phone was run out of battery last week. I wonder if the phone out of battery why he could receive my phone yesterday before coming home.

    I just honestly cannot believe him anymore. I look forward to his phonecall, his tmg…however nothing happened. I am the person who always call, text, arange dating…If he does not love me, why he treat me so special? Everytime I beside him, I feel I am the happiest women, I am his darling, his princess… After that, there is nothing. I felt that I have no place in his heart.

    We will have a small party with friends this weekend (the mutual friends), and they ask me to invite him to this party. Should I call to him only to report about this?

    Please give me some advices. :((:((:((

  672. #672 by funnydove on December 1, 2009 - 10:59 am

    Hi all,

    Can you believe I read all your post? It is exactly my experience. I can’t find any word to express how lucky i am when I found this site. I’m so sorry because my E is not good in writing.

    I hope I can get your advices to pass these terrible days.

  673. #673 by piscesgirl on December 1, 2009 - 12:58 pm

    baffledgirl n all girls
    ok, so we went out to movie today, he came along, i couldn’t believed it!!he hang me yesterday and didn’t showed up but he come 4 today!!what he try to tell actually?that he in to my friend not to me?
    this morning my friend ask me to call him to know if come or not then i give my phone to my friend ask her to talk herself with him, after he answer the phone, my friend give the phone to me, so i perforce talk to him, and i can feel that he like excited when answer my phone from his voice.
    but overall, today movie agendum just so-so nothing special happened, except that my girlfriends make fun of me to be with him, so they make it like accidentally let me sit besides him. but this guy doesnt know anything or he doesnt care about it.
    1 of my girlfriend said about that day when i first time used skirt to college, she said that our mutual friend (a guy) tell that my taurus guy said i look good that day (i have posted about this before), and i remember that friend say it so loud, so i think almost 1 class include our lecturer heard about that. oh now also hate that guy!!

    oh i can’t think anything rite now, today is our last day meet together, all my girlfriends in our group will back to their country 4 holiday so there wont be any group hangout during holiday (we will have 2 months holiday!!)..will he call me during holiday?? only God know!! if he dont call me during holiday, then i can say he is not in 2 me. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  674. #674 by piscesgirl on December 1, 2009 - 1:11 pm

    funnydove,

    yeah u can use that party to see his act n to know is he in o u or not.or maybe ask ur mutual friend that held the party to invite him by themselves (so u no need to invite him, it’s not ur party anyway)

  675. #675 by Jane on December 1, 2009 - 5:47 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi, thankyou for you comments to me,they much appreciated. I love to cook, i dont know if i am good at it but i love the preperation, the presentation of the food and basically i love playing the hostess! lol So i hope it goes down well with my guy! I am not sure when it is but yes i will keep you posted.
    Oh i have a question to you, because me and my guy are now ‘friends’ and not as a romantic couple, do you think it would be inappropriate to have candles soft music and really dress up!!? I know taurus love all the feminine stuff and if we where together he would most definatly love it but i am worried i will come across to much for him!! When i last saw him 3weeks ago ,he took me to buy something that i needed his help with, i really dressed up, and i felt good and he didnt comment, i was upset about that i didnt say anything to him but realised that he probably wanted to keep his feelings hidden as we ‘friends’ What do you think? Oh by the way you are so funny! lol i was reading your post about you and your guy asking what fruit you may be, he was trying to be all clever and nice and it was like ‘hey, i am not hard on the outside’!! i thought you where so right when you explained to him how to get along with you with out yelling, it sounds like he got the message! A fight is a fight and he will leave it like that!! (he said) Well he had better right! LOL
    You are handling your bull very well! x

  676. #676 by Jane on December 1, 2009 - 6:08 pm

    Piscesgirl

    Hi, when i said to you ‘feminine approach’ i mean, ladylike in your manner, no shouting, always calm and sweet. Of course there are times i am sure that you just want to ‘go mental’ as these bulls do try are patience, but i have learnt that they respond much better to a ‘low tone’ approuch as they do not like drama or crazy displays of emotion these men as you well know are very controlled with their own emotions and like the same in their women. I find it hard sometimes coz i can be emotional and get upset but also recently and through these wonderful ladies on here have learnt to say what you need to say, get your point across and leave it at that, let him take in what you say and think about it. It really does work!! x

  677. #677 by Jane on December 1, 2009 - 6:33 pm

    Baffledgirl

    Hi, i am wondering how things are for you? Reading your last post and you said that your last contact with him was you explaining that you dont like the ‘no contact for days’ he said sometimes it the way it is but he said a very vital thing to you….he said YOU CAN CONTACT HIM!!! I am now thinking that he may be seeing how into him you are especially as you said you dont like so distant contact. You have 2 choices, you swollow your pride and send a ‘casual’ text or you do nothing! At least with the first choice you know where you stand, You must think about how upset you are feeling, you deserve to know where you stand with him or move on. Just remember you wont know for sure how or what he is feeling about it until you ask him!! Remember he’s the one ‘stubborn as the bull!!! I know what i would be doing.Good luck wth wotever you decide x

  678. #678 by Jane on December 1, 2009 - 6:44 pm

    Funnydove

    Hi, i would do what piscesgirl said and get someone else to invite him, afterall its not your party so then he wont know for sure if you know he going or not! then you go along and see how he responds to you, without knowing to much detail of your story, i would say that for now. Good luck to you. These guys have very strange ways!! x

  679. #679 by baffledgirl on December 1, 2009 - 7:38 pm

    Jane

    I know about the two choices…I dont want to swallow my pride lol, because he already knows that I’m really into him. In fact, i think the reason why he’s backed off, is probably because he sees that i’m probably more into him than he is to me. I really don’t know if hes going to contact me. Today is day 10! OMG i cant believe its been TEN days since we last talked…. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
    But I think i’m just gonna temporarily give up on him. Im so tired of stressing over this and wondering if he has a new girl. I just dont understand where I went wrong.
    How could you chase someone for 6 months and then just totally disappear…I dont understand it.
    Jane, I want to thank you for understanding what I’m trying to say and to everyone else too! All your advices are much appreciated! Thank you.

  680. #680 by Jane on December 1, 2009 - 8:38 pm

    Baffledgirl

    Hi, i understand what you are saying thats what i mean tho, he knows you really into him so maybe he testing you to see how much by seeing if you contact him!! The thing is, you know him, you have an idea of how he is likely to operate its just i know how insecure these guys can be and have to really be sure of someones care for them before they will reveal anything. I must appologise to you as i hope you dont think i was telling you what you should do, im just giving you my opinion in my experience. I know that you know that. This is so tough for you and we all share our stories, give eachother advice, tips support on here thats what makes this site so great but each of us when it really comes down to it have to do what is right for ourselves, which is what you are doing now. Just remember i for one am here should you need to ‘offload’ as am sure all the other ladies are too. keep your chin up! What is meant to be is meant to be! Its his loss if he doesnt contact you x

  681. #681 by saggi girl on December 1, 2009 - 9:39 pm

    baffledgirl,

    so, it is the day 10th since the last time he contacted you.. and everything was find back then…It is very strange.. are you sure that he is doing ok… what if he was not well… you know what i mean?

    probably, he is also testing you to see how much you are interested… since you have already gone this far,, just wait and see how it turned out… i would say one month is the limit.. i remembered my guy was fighting with me and did not contact me for 21 days… can you believe it??? just wait and see…

  682. #682 by baffledgirl on December 1, 2009 - 9:52 pm

    Jane!

    Aww you are really so sweet! I feel like I’ve known you for a long time lol. Thank you so much for being patient with me when I’m always complaining about my guy. Its just, yeah i have no one else to talk to about this taurus thing! I have you ladies and I’m very thankful!! ๐Ÿ™‚ I read from pervious posts some of you are asian, as am i! lol. My taurus is white lol.

    Anyway, Jane…I totally appreciate your kind words and relating your situation with me. I appreciate you taking the time to explain things to me. This guy is just driving me crazy. And I’m a stubborn cancer, so a huge part of me does not want to swallow my pride and contact him. The last couple times we talked, I was always talking about how he never contacts me anymore. So hopefully my silence will show him that i’m not clingy and dependent. And that it doesnt bother me, although it reaaaally does!

  683. #683 by baffledgirl on December 1, 2009 - 9:55 pm

    Saggi girl

    oh my gosh! 21 days?! Wow!! That must have been REALLLY difficult! I cannot believe I freaked out before when he didn’t contact me for 2 days. Now, we’re going on our 10th day ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
    Yup, we didn’t have a fight. I’m pretty sure he’s well cause he has been posting bulletins on myspace. I definitely think I will just wait for him to do the contacting. I really miss the old him. He can be the sweetest guy EVER. One time, he made a list of things he loves about me. Idk whats wrong with him right now :/

  684. #684 by Confused Libra on December 1, 2009 - 10:00 pm

    I can’t help to feel hurt and rejected. It’s been more than a week since we last spoke to each other. Yesterday, i sent him an invite to have lunch through google’s calendar after finding out I have a day off this Friday (and we don’t normally get to do lunch with my work nature), he has not replied. Last night, I tried calling him knowing his children were in bed, left a message as he did not pick up the phone. Is he just ignoring me? it would be such an coincident since he didn’t pick up last call, and the one before, and the one before and he never returns my phone call. He calls when he wants, and sees me when i initiates (most of the time). What is up with this man??????

  685. #685 by Jane on December 1, 2009 - 10:50 pm

    Baffledgirl

    Hey, you are welcome and your right, its like we have known eachother for ages! lol, you dont have to thank me, that is what we are all here for our very own support group on the pain in the arse ways of the taurus man!! LOL

    Yes you are a stubborn cancer lol but i do admire you, i dont think i would have lasted this long! i must admit tho, my guy is deffinatly teaching me patience for sure and i never had any to begin with lol!!!!
    I do hope you are right and your silence lets this guy wonder where you are and i supose the truth of the matter is, if this guy really truly wants something with you, if he’s ready and he has took this time to work on himself (something i know these guys have to do when they’re unsure) then he will for sure return and as i said before it is his damn loss if he doesnt!! You just protect your heart whilst your waiting this out and we are all here for you to offload too x

  686. #686 by baffledgirl on December 1, 2009 - 11:09 pm

    Jane

    Yup, it will be his loss for sure. Its weird cause I’ve given him opportunities before to tell me if he wasn’t interested in me anymore. He just tells me i’m trippin. So its like, he doesnt want to let me go! But he’s just leaving me hanging and I am very very impatient! I agree with you that our taurus guys are teaching us patience! Trust me he has definitely taught me patience. There were times before when i let my cancerian insecurity/clinginess get to me lol. Like he would text me and i would reply and he would reply like after 30 minutes, and to me that was unacceptable lol, so i would text him and be like “baby youre taking sooo long!!!” haha! He would be like “i’m sorry i got caught up, whats up beautiful” but ughhh now, just pure silence. i’m just going to wait it out. I’ll set him free for now and if he doesn’t come back then its definitely his loss. He told me before i am different from all the girls he knows back from where he is. This one time he texted me out of nowhere telling me that he thinks i am such an amazing young lady. So sweet. I’m feeling soo nostalgic right now ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I just really miss him. But I guess the good thing from this, is that, i’m more patient and less clingy.

  687. #687 by funnydove on December 2, 2009 - 3:59 am

    Thanks all,

    Iโ€™m sure this taurus man is into me. We know each other for 3 month in an class. He show me how much he cares for me that everyone in the class can realize (not only me). Then he quit this class because he was so busy at work. After that he always chat with me when I finished the class at 9pm. Sometime I was invisible, then available at 12 pm, he seems immediately give me a msg. When I ask him: โ€œOh, why are you online such lateโ€. He said so sweet: โ€œIm wait to see youโ€. And every words made my heart smeltโ€ฆ

    When I knew for sure he likes me, I give him an opportunity by msg: โ€œIt is lovely and sunshine day. I would like to go out. My friend recommend me an intersting film in cinema.โ€ Then he showed he was excited, he picked me up and we had a wonderful day with each other (from 3 pm to 11pm). Hes so sweet, manly that no one never ever treat me like that.

    We keep contact with each otherโ€ฆWe had some sweet days among the class ( we often go out 1 time per week). The last meeting with our class, he take a lot of pics of me. Im for sure he only focus on take pics of me (I pretend I donโ€™t know he take pics). Then, I chose the nicest pic, write a poem for this and send to himโ€ฆHe definitely know I had special feeling with himโ€ฆ

    However, I realize I always the person who call, text firstโ€ฆSometimes, he didnโ€™t reply me. I give him an email to show my feeling that how important to connect with someoneโ€ฆHe thanks to me because I shared my emotion. Thatโ€™s all.

    Nothingโ€™s change. I still call, text, take care him, worry about him, and show how much I โ€œloveโ€ him. He made me crazy, stupid.

    I am all wrong when I let him know exactly my feeling, exactly I love him? I feel that he want to escape from me when he didnโ€™t contact to me. When I read your story I know I should be patient, wait for his call, wait for something from himโ€ฆI could not deny that it hurts me a lot, it made me stressed.

    How should I do if he is going to the party? Ignore him?

    Thanks to listen to me. (I try my best to write in English).

  688. #688 by piscesgirl on December 2, 2009 - 8:59 am

    funnydove,

    oh how lucky u r..seems little bit similar with my case..
    well, i would like to suggest u to ugnore him in the party,let him approach u, not vice versa.
    i done that at movie day with him n my girlfriends..

  689. #689 by Jane on December 2, 2009 - 9:33 am

    Funnydove

    Hi, you say you feel this guy is in to you and reading your posts it might be that you have been giving him too much care/emotion these guys can be scared off if they feel you coming on too strong too soon so yes i would go the party, be polite, smile and enjoy yourself and let him see that and see what he does. What i will say tho, dont be too much flirty or over other guys to make him jealous as this will just turn him off you and make him not trust you, yes of course talk to other people and have fun, maybe you could flirt with him and let him see how much fun you are!! Good luck keep us posted x

  690. #690 by Jane on December 2, 2009 - 10:05 am

    Baffledgirl

    Hi, how funny you say when he would text you after 30 mins or so after you text him and you would be like ‘where is he’!!! I WAS EXACTLY THE SAME!! LOL I never understood why he would take forever to reply! My god i soon had to get over that. I have learnt so much from everyone here and it has been an absolute god send that i found it when i did coz i would most certainly have lost my mind by now!! x

  691. #691 by Jane on December 2, 2009 - 10:54 am

    Hi all

    I just want to share something with you, i am learning very quickly how to respond ‘correctly’ to my guy when he texts ect, you know controlling emotion, not falling for his ‘words’ (it is hard) sometimes tho i am struggling when he says something like when he flirts with me. This am he texts me goodmorning as he does, we sent a few texts and he had a blow out 2 nights ago in his car thank god he was only going 30mph and he skidded on black ice, anyway i have shown (in texts) my concern and care for him last few days and i know from his responses that he has loved it, well in texts this am i told him i am full of cold and my nose looks like Rudolf!!
    He text back and said ‘ah baby poor you, do you need a kiss and cuddle’ well i hear that and want to shout ‘YES I DO!!!! of course i dont but i replied ‘well looking and sounding as i do , assuming thats an offer, you would run the other way, hee,hee’ He didnt reply!

    So i got paranoid then and thought ‘my god he may think i believe he wants to kiss me, basically i was concerned that he may think i want him to act on what he said (of course i do) but dont want him to know that as it will freak him out(you know all words no action!)

    so…. yes i text again and said ‘hi honeyI know you are just having a joke with me in your last text so dont worry i am not taking it seriously’ he didnt respond, I didnt expect him to but i know he will be ‘thinking’ about what i said.

    As i said, because over the past few weeks i have become less angry by his lack of actions, calmer and more in control with my motions that i want to keep it that way and want to continue at ‘his pace’ that way i know he more likely to come to me! Am i being over dramatic here lol?

  692. #692 by piscesgirl on December 2, 2009 - 10:56 am

    btw, is taurus guy dont like watch scary movie and enjoy watch romance movie especally if the movie had sex inside? just curious, becaus of what i seen on my guy at movie day, haha

  693. #693 by baffledgirl on December 2, 2009 - 8:06 pm

    Jane

    Yeah! It drove me nuts when he would do that. Like he would initiate texts and I’d reply and he’ll take forever to reply! But I stopped texting him ‘youre taking so long’ texts lol.

  694. #694 by baffledgirl on December 2, 2009 - 8:09 pm

    Hi all,

    This is now day 11. I have not heard from my taurus guy AT ALL. WTF! I’m very very close to giving up on him. I’m hurt by his decision of not communicating with me. 11 days is ridiculous. Its nearly impossible to not have seconds to spare to say hello by text. I’m starting to think that this guy has a new girl or something, if he does, I have lost my respect for him cause he cant even tell me the truth. I hope I;m wrong and that he just needed time to evaluate things. But at this point, i really have no idea where we sand.

  695. #695 by baffledgirl on December 2, 2009 - 8:09 pm

    where we stand*

  696. #696 by saggi girl on December 2, 2009 - 9:25 pm

    hi Baffledgirl

    too early to think that he got someone else or he was no longer interested. when it comes to nealy one month or over, it is when to think that way… that is what i think…

  697. #697 by piscesgirl on December 2, 2009 - 10:57 pm

    baffledgirl,

    yeah i taught u’ll wait until a month..just wait..and see..

  698. #698 by baffledgirl on December 2, 2009 - 11:25 pm

    saggi girl and pisces girl

    yeah i’ll wait for a month.
    i’m really really hoping it wont get to that point.
    :[

  699. #699 by funnydove on December 3, 2009 - 2:50 am

    Hi Baffledgirl,

    The most important thing you should do now is that forget him. Sometimes I imagined my guy had a trip to Mar and I can not contact him. I also knew that it is too difficult, many times I nearly pick my cellphone to call him…But I knew it will be better if I wait, see what he will do.

    The taurus man have strong mind, incredible patience so he can find many things to fill up the space of you in him. However, Im sure, everytime he always miss you. My guy always act as he ignore me, however I realize he almost remember everyword I said.

    He done a puzzle mind with you. And you should patience. No one will win in this game. You give yoursefl a period of time to wait for him. At the end, if he will even didn’t call you, text you…and you have enough time to found exactly your feeling, if you can not live without him, the only thing you should do is that call him, keep your voice polite, don’t mind anything about time, show him as you so busy and now you have time to call him (everything he do cannot bother you. Let he know you act different other girls who will be angry, lost control hersefl. This make him be attracted and curious about you)…You will see his attitude, if he also wait you, miss you, he will show you how happy he is when you call him. Then he will treat you like a queen instead of say sorry to you. Trust me.

    My guy told me that he always look for my calls. When I ask why he said that: “it is my secret”. Don’t mind about the strange action of your bull.

    One thing I should know is that trust my taurus. Let’s he thought that I fall in his trap, I can not live without him. He is the king, the center of my universe. It is exactly what the taurus want.

    You should wait for a month or a priod time you could standwith. Then pick your phone to find the answer.

    We are intelligent women so let our guys think that we fall in their trap like a lamb.

    Best wish to all of you.

  700. #700 by baffledgirl on December 3, 2009 - 4:43 am

    Funnydove

    That was very helpful and beautiful. Thank you for your kinds words <3.
    I am sad that my guy is not contacting me but I am being more patient. I'm not even going on myspace so I wouldnt have to see him online. It is helping a lot. Right now, I am doing what you and the other ladies are saying, just waiting for my taurus guy to contact me.
    I hope he does miss me and he thinks about me. Maybe he's testing me to see if I'm going to act mad at him. The last couple times we talked it was me confronting him about his lack of communication. So maybe he is testing me? or maybe he has a new girl? I dont know. Time will tell…. Im just a very impatient cancer and sensitive, its hurting me to think that maybe he has someone else and hes not talking to me to not hurt me.
    He told me before i'm a special girl and he loves how i am because i am different from girls he knows, but i guess he doesnt care about me anymore.
    But anyway, thank you funnydove, you are a great girl.

  701. #701 by funnydove on December 3, 2009 - 7:14 am

    Hi baffledgirl,

    I am even deleted his contact from my YM, so I can sign in my account and not worry about he online or not online. I am also deleted his phone’s number so everytime I want to call him I need to press many buttons, it useful when give me time to calm down and think…

    As far as I know about my guy is that he feel weak, feel stupid, feel shy when he let someone know exactly his feeling. Even he cannot understand his action. One of my friend said that: when sth is not normal, it means special. If he didn’t miss you, he didn’t love you, why he act so strange. Like me, when I love someone, I feel if I take care them, they may know about my feeling, just make me shy and didn’t do that. And, you should know your bulls feel “terrible” and “confusing” thousand times as normal we are.

    Pls, calm down, try something you like and have no time to do it before. Forget your bull (you should do for the rest of your life ;))). I thought that except us, noone can withstand our bulls, so they’re always belong to us.

    Hug all my friends.

  702. #702 by baffledgirl on December 3, 2009 - 8:17 pm

    funnydove and everyone else!

    UPDATE:

    OMG ladies! my taurus FINALLY contacted me lastnight!! I’m so happy. He told me the reason why he didnt contact me for 10 days…its because he was testing me!! Some of you were right! He was waiting for me to contact him. He told me that he was waiting to see if i would contact him while we didnt talk! I had NO idea he was into this testing game. I honestly didnt think he wanted to know if i was into him beause i thought it was REALLY clear that im very into him. He told me he finally gave up waiting thats why he contacted me first. He seemed so excited when i replied to his text last night. We didnt talk that long it was very late. around 3am. But i am so happy he didnt talk to me cause of this reason and not because there is another girl or he lost interest in me.
    Ladies, i want to thank you so much for helping me keep my head at a sane level! I would have gone nuts without all of you!

  703. #703 by saggi girl on December 3, 2009 - 8:37 pm

    baffledgirl,

    hehehehe… congratulations… keep it up with the good work…

  704. #704 by baffledgirl on December 3, 2009 - 9:28 pm

    saggi girl

    thank you. i’m just happy he didnt let it get to 30 days. but i’m not going get my hopes up too much! we all know these taurus men can be hot and cold.

  705. #705 by Jane on December 3, 2009 - 11:03 pm

    Baffledgirl

    OMG OMG!!! Hey i am soooo pleased to hear that, that is so good. So yes, he was waiting for you!! How cunning are these guys eh, see he has do do these things to see how much you care, he must have known you into him as he wouldnt have contacted if he thought you would reject him. So baffled girl ( no longer baffled!!lol) Well for now anyway! lol Take things slow, see what he comes up with and enjoy my dear! BRILLIANT!! Keep ua all posted. So happy for you. Good luck x

  706. #706 by piscesgirl on December 4, 2009 - 1:45 am

    I have to congratz u baffledgirl..
    happy 4 u..
    pls cross ur finger 4 me..it’s my turn now to wait my guy initiate contact.it’s almost 3 days since he last time we met at cinema..i’ll wait 4 a month..i don’t want to be the first who initiate contact, it’s always me, now i want to stop it.

  707. #707 by baffledgirl on December 4, 2009 - 2:27 am

    JANE!

    I am so happy right now!!!! ๐Ÿ˜€ Hes paying attention to me again! Last night we texted only a little bit cause it was late. I told him i would text him and i texted him late afternoon. Just to show i still care but im not too too eager! The silence worked! I cannot believe he was testing me im shocked because i seriously didnt think he was trying to figure out if i would contact him. i thought he just forgot about me or was trying to purposely ignore me cause he likes someone else. i guess not ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ dont you love it when your taurus calls you baby?! i have such a weakness for it. when i replied to him last night, he was probably surprised i replied because he probably thought i was mad at him because i wasnt contacting him, when i replied he was so excited, he was like “how are you baby! :)” let’s hope this continues….i dont want to get my hopes up too much. I will keep you all updated! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Piscesgirl
    I am definitely crossing my fingers for you! Yes, do not contact him. If i learned anything from the 10 days that my taurus and i didnt talk….it is that, if he truly cares for you, no matter how much he doesnt want to contact you cause he wants you to initiate, he wont be able to take it, and he will eventually contact you. Like my taurus. He told me he was waiting for me to contact him but since i wasnt, he gave up waiting so he just decided to contact me instead. Im hoping your taurus will do the same, and will realize that he misses you and cares for you. Im so relieved right now, because honestly, i thought my taurus lost all my feelings for me. But like all the other ladies said, if your taurus likes you and cares about you, he will eventually contact you. 3 days is nothing compared to my 10 days! and mind you that i am a VERY vERY VERY VERY impatient cancer! If i can do it, and wait, you can too. Good luck sweetie! Keep us posted!

  708. #708 by InloveCancer on December 4, 2009 - 2:48 am

    Congrat to baffled girl!!!
    I’m back again guys… Since the day he came back to see me, I was with Taurus man for almost a month. Let’s me share with you guys my experience.

    On Thanksgiving we spent 5 days together most of the time from morning til late night. Taurus might be considered as shy guy in the beginning, but when it comes to kissing and making out, he is totally a different person. He is like a Bull that fire you up. He won’t let you breath while kissing… His sexual is a lil stronger to handle, compared to my ex Scopion, which also a very sexual sign.

    Anyways, dat was lil some sexual experience to share with ya girls. ๐Ÿ™‚ Now I’ll talk about emotional state and how he is in relationship. Rightnow, we are not official yet, because I told him to give me sometime. I really want to know how much he really love me, guys. I’m afraid to get hurt to you know? (Cancer protective side) The time we spent together are blessed. We had alot of fun, kissing, hugging and good conversations. I don’t know if he feel the same way or not, but I feel so happy being with him. I like the way he smile, the way he takes care of me and talks to me. However, there are times, he brings up the weird side of him. Like there are times that I don’t see his call or text for hours as he promised to call/text back. I wonder where he is and what he is doing. Someitme, I couldn’t wait so I call him, and he said he is doing nothing. He said he miss me and stuffs. I don’t understand why he didn’t text or call me back. I never have this problem with other guys before. I found it so annoying sometimes. I want to tell him, but I don’t want to be so needy. I really need to know why he does that. For example, today he said he gonna call/text me when he gets home. I texted and told him I was out to study at the tea house. After that I see no text or call fr him for 3 hours. I wonder what he is doing cuz he suppose to be home already. So I called and he picked up. He said he is at home and doing nothing. I asked him why he said that he gonna call when he gets home but he didnt. Taurus man said he just got home. It doesn’t sound like that to me. Anyways, there are times, his action makes me think that he might be talking with other girls or watever. I don’t know.

    He told me alot about how he feels for me. He said there are other girls like him but he only has feeling for me. He said he loves me more everyday and that he want to be closer to me. He said he loves me alot and told me to trust him. He said no matter what, I have to believe his love for me. I do and I want to, but there are times, he makes me confused and lost. Last night, I told him don’t put stonewall or become distant to me no matter what, because I will feel hurt, and he promised.

    Once again, I will wait. I hope our relationship gets better and he will understand how I feel and what I want from him. I’m Cancerian… Itz hard for me to say everything out… I need a guy who willing to break the shell and tell me I’ll be safe with him. Now, we have exams going on and we both exhausted with all these studying. When the semester is over, we will spend more time together and I’ll try my best to get inside his mind hahahahha… I’m so scared sometimes. I afraid that he runs away one day and leave me lost n confused. He did that once, and I really can’t take another one. He said he won’t make that mistake again and I hope he means it. BTW, gotta go back to my study. Thanks you girls for being with me on this love battle ๐Ÿ™‚ Without you guys, I don’t know who to share all these matters.

    Goodluck to all of us…

  709. #709 by virgo10 on December 4, 2009 - 2:56 am

    thats awesome baffledgirl, you must feel so relieved and happy!! now just take it slow and enjoy your time with him, because like you said these guys are hot and cold which suckssssssss

    so i’m testing out my taurus to see if he actually cares about me. we were supposed to go out on wednesday, (i havnt seen him for almost 3 months!!) and he texts me the following day saying he was sick…. what a coincidence. I was so angry because its not the first time this has happened, everytime we were supposed to meet up there was always an excuse. I told myself this would be the last time, bc im sick of this crap. I didnt text him back because I’m mad lol and I’m going to wait to see what happens next. my mind is telling me to forget this guy because he is just playing games with me but my heart is telling me to hold on to him because he’s my perfect guy….. i don’t know maybe its wishful thinking that he will call back but if he does i know its bc he cares about me and if not then it wasnt meant to be. we shall see what happens. my friends tell me to leave him but i know you guys all understand because we are all head over heels over these taurus dudes…..

  710. #710 by kmkakk on December 4, 2009 - 4:37 am

    Ok so I am so confused right now! I met a Taurus man through online dating, He messaged me first. We clicked almost instantly! We have been talking through emails for about 3 weeks, we had our first phone convo 5 nights ago and we talked for hours ๐Ÿ™‚ He asked me about a week ago if i wanted to hang out so we could get to know eachother more, We made plans to go to the movies tomorrow(friday) night. Well I have not heard a thing from him since monday night!!! I tried calling him tonight to see if the plans were still on but he never answered!! I’m very upset because we really clicked! I’m a pisces by the way.

    ANY ADVICE??? Thanks!

  711. #711 by baffledgirl on December 4, 2009 - 5:09 am

    virgo10

    yeah. my friends tell me to give up on my taurus guy as well. And as much as i just want to quit sometimes, i just cant! i have no idea why. its like, he can hurt me instantly because we live far from each other and he might meet another girl, but for some reason, i just cant drop him. i met a guy while ive been talking to my taurus guy, i started to like the other guy just a little bit. Then he did something that pissed me off and i instantly dropped him. But with my taurus guy, no matter how sad i get when he doesnt contact me, i always give him chances.
    like you, im always telling myself that if he doesnt contact me then i guess he doesnt care about me, but trust me, give it some time, dont contact him for a while, until hes ready to talk to you and when he does contact you, you will see that he really cares for you. just patience. ๐Ÿ™‚

  712. #712 by piscesgirl on December 4, 2009 - 7:35 am

    baffledgirl,

    i very scared he will keep not contact me until a month, especially after this afternoon. well, i went out to town wif my girlfriend (she is the 1 who my guy touch the shoulder), and we pass by his store (he work in that store) and we see inside and see him and we smile to him. he saw us pass by and pass a smile to us as well. then i taught he might be will call me after he finished work , i dreamt about it that he will call me after he finish his work and as where r we or sort of things, but the truth is NO CALL, NO TEXT, NO ANYTHING!! oh i so sad, maybe he not in to me? what shall i do if he never contact me at all? i feel like wanna cry as loud as possible now :((

  713. #713 by baffledgirl on December 4, 2009 - 7:47 am

    piscesgirl

    aww sweetie, just wait it out. i know its hard…but give him 30 days. if he doesnt, then i guess it will be time to move on. we dont want to waste anymore time being sad over a person who doesnt like us. so just wait for 30 days, and if he doesnt contact you then move on for yourself and find a good guy who will pay much more attention to you.

  714. #714 by Jane on December 4, 2009 - 12:05 pm

    Baffledgirl

    Hi, how exciting things are looking for you,i am so happy for you. Just remember how these guys do things and you will be fine. I have learnt so much to take a step back, look at a situation before i react or get upset about something.

    I have realised how taurus men like to hear what you say, think about it then respond or show action when they good and ready! I too am learning patience, it is hard i am a virgo and i have never had patience!!lol Its teaching me well!
    Yes i do love when my guy calls me ‘baby’ i go weak at the knees hee,hee he has a lovely way with words but for me at the moment thats all it is ‘words’ i havnt saw him for 4weeks he texts daily and 2/3 times day sometimes . Iam cooking a meal for us for the first time next week!! I hope that moves things forward for us!!I know he is really into me, he is just so gaurded and scared to be hurt, wish he new i would NEVER hurt him. I hope in time he will. Look forward to hearing your update baffled girl!! x

  715. #715 by Jane on December 4, 2009 - 2:55 pm

    Virgo 10

    Hi, as you have probably read all these posts you will notice how one way or another each one of us have been tested by our taurus men. It is what they do, now while i agree they are pretty straight forward they also have to be so sure before acting on anything!!
    Now when he text you to say he wasnt well, you should have replied and said, that you sorry to hear he not too good and hope he better soon(something like that anyway) you could have even said you would text him in a few days to see how he was and for him not to worry as you could rearange getting together when he feels better. you see that way, you let him know you care how he is and that you will check in with him in couple of days. It sounds like (and prob does to him too) that you straight away disbelieved him by not replying. You dont know that for sure and your guy may think your only concern was that he wasnt going to see you. Do you understand what i mean? These guys are sensitive, and he may well have been testing you to see how you respond.

    Dont get me wrong here, a while back i would have reacted just like you and its this site and these wonderful ladies that has helped me study my guy and the way taurus behave and it has been an absolute god send to me!I have my ups and downs still!!
    Maybe read over all the posts(if you havnt already) Its amazing the pattern between us all and our men!! Dont worry, just do what i have learnt to do and take a step back to look at it before you react, it does help. Good luck and keep us posted x

  716. #716 by saggi girl on December 4, 2009 - 3:00 pm

    kmkakk,

    do not contact him to confirm the date…let him do all of that at the beginning… do not make it too excited to see him…have it light, otherwise, he will lose the interest..

  717. #717 by virgo10 on December 4, 2009 - 3:02 pm

    Jane,

    i hear what you are saying about testing me, and perhaps i should respond back just to prove him wrong but i mean this is the THIRD time he has done this… like the first couple of times it was okay but the third time? what a coincidence lol

    I want to believe him but I feel that if I respond back he will think I am a push over and that he has me in the palm of his hands. I see everyone’s perspective, as you know we are fellow virgos and we analyze everything to the coree, I just don’t want to get hurt.

    I just want this whole testing crap to be over with, like he is 28 years old and I am 23, he should know what he wants and stop playing games….

  718. #718 by kmkakk on December 4, 2009 - 3:20 pm

    Its now 10:16am so i’m assuming I have been ditched :[
    He knows I have a son and its hard to find a babysitter and I already arranged it all for tonight, Should I cancel my sitter or will it be one of those last minute phone call things? I really like him but I don’t have time for games, It was his idea to go out not mine. I’m thinking of emailing him telling him that I dont have time for games, will that do damage?

    and thanks for the reply saggi girl!

  719. #719 by virgo10 on December 4, 2009 - 3:54 pm

    okay an update…..

    Jane i took your advice and I texted him back…. i asked him when he had sent his text bc to tell you th truth my phone has been acting weird so i could have recieved his text earlier on then when i actually got it lol i told him i hope he feels better… he responded less than a minute later…. lol this guy is KILLING me… he responded he does feel better it was a mild flu…. lol i want to believe him but i’m hesitating a lot…. we shall see what happens

    i hope i did the right thing….. i just dont want to get my hopes up and thats exactly what im going to do!

  720. #720 by kmkakk on December 4, 2009 - 4:00 pm

    I was also thinking of deleting him off of my friends list on myspace, Should I? I mean part of my wants to never speak to him again but another part telling me to hold on because he’s something special…I’m so confused…

  721. #721 by Jane on December 4, 2009 - 4:18 pm

    Virgo 10

    Hi, I didnt realise he had done this 3 times!! How cheeky! The good thing here tho is he replied to you in less than a minute!! He must have been waiting for your text! Also, if he wasnt interested he would not have text you back and thats a fact! lol So i would say from what i have learnt, these guys like to lead the way, make the plans, etc so let him, you can have your say but now he knows you showed concern/interest in him, let him make the next move, its a pain at times coz they soooo slow but as i have said you will get PATIENCE being with this guy. Until it proves otherwise, i would believe he has been unwell and go from there. Good luck x

  722. #722 by Jane on December 4, 2009 - 4:37 pm

    Kmkakk

    Hi, like saggi girl said, let him do the contacting, they like to lead, be in charge (or at least feel like they are! lol) He knows you have a son and would therefore no you have to organise a babysitter so if he had the cheek to expect you to be available tonight without hearing from him then he’s an inconciderate jerk!

    You have alredy made a call to him and he didnt answer so i would leave it to him, he will know by your call that your interested. It is so hard i know coz these guys at times just dont seem to realise the hurt and confusion they cause. Hang in there and wait it out! Good luck x

  723. #723 by kmkakk on December 4, 2009 - 4:57 pm

    Its sooo hard to wait cause i’m so impatient :] But something is telling me its worth it. But I just can’t see myself talking to him anymore if he ditches me tonight, I’m not sure weather to start doing my hair and get my outfit ready, or to just forget it. we were suppose to meet around 7:45ish for a movie, He doesn’t get out of work until about 5:30.

    Its wierd cause when we first started talking and we went almost a whole day without talking, he had told me that he missed me. of course i would never let him know that I missed him too..lol

    So should I start getting ready?(I have A LOT of hair so it takes me forever to do) or just forget it?

    At about what time do I know we arent going out tonight?

    Thanks for everyones help!

  724. #724 by saggi girl on December 4, 2009 - 5:43 pm

    hi Kmkakk,

    if i were you, i would have been pissed too. If you really wanted to give him the chance or give yourself a chance to go out, Just text him in general like ” hi, i just wanted to confirm if we are still on tonight. As if so, i need to make some arrangement at home.”

    Do not make it very desperate… Just show your courtsey and politeness.. that is all… If he is a good guy, he would appreciate that…

    something i need to let you know based on my experiece is that you need to set up some rules at the begining before you got too deep with him, otherwise, you will be totally controlled by him. I know they love to control. but you need to let him know at the begining what you expected or what you did not.. remember, it is not all about showing your interest or your best side, it is also about showing your personality and preference.. what you like and what you do not… it is all about getting to know each other..

    i also would suggest you to let him know if you finally went on a date with him tonight that you would appreciate a man to give enough notice or follow up on previous promise instead of leaving it hanging.. as you took things serious whenever there is an arrangement made… as you would do the same… it is called courtesy.. that is all… then you can move on from this discussion…be firm and do not make drama out of it…

    i did this with my taurus when we first started dating… sometimes, he did not call as he promised.. first time, i let it go , 2nd time, i let it go, 3rd time, i called and told him that there are something bothering me that he needs to know, but it is not a big deal… then he was like” what is it.” i was like” well, you know, sometimes you do not call when you said you will, it is not a big deal but i prefer you said what you meant and really follow on it… if you do not, i would worry something happened with your wellbeing. that is who i am….” then he was like: ok, it is fair and i can do that. thanks..”

    you really need to let him know what you think especially at the early stage when people are getting to know each other… if he really cares or really interested… he would consider…otherwise, he will be jerk… and you can save your time and move on..

  725. #725 by Jane on December 4, 2009 - 5:58 pm

    Kmkakk

    Hi, well if it was me i would assume we wernt meeting tonight and i would be pretty annoyed if he thought otherwise, he should have been in touch with you to arrange/confirm otherwise he be taking you for granted and thats not good. If lets say he did show up, what reason does he have to assume you be sitting there ready and waiting!!? Imagine how you will feel if you get all dressed up and he doesnt show! That would be awful. It is of course up to you, you have to go with what you think is best but think of ‘you’ and what you need to be ok thats important. If he interested he will be in touch when he is good and ready!! Chin up

  726. #726 by kmkakk on December 4, 2009 - 6:19 pm

    I’m thinking of just calling him, I would text him but he doesn’t have texting on his phone, If he doesn’t answer then I guess we arent going, and I definitly won’t give him another chance unless he’s got a good excuse..lol..I was thinking of sending an email too but he hasn’t signed on his myspace in 3 days…so i’m not sure.

  727. #727 by Jane on December 4, 2009 - 6:49 pm

    Kmkakk

    Hi, If you are asking for advice then i would say dont call him, you have done that already and he didnt answer, what if he doesnt answer again!!? Your choice of course just think it thru and think of how you will feel afterwards. Just remember that if you guys hit it off on the phone as well as you say you did and he feels the same then he will contact you!!

  728. #728 by saggi girl on December 4, 2009 - 6:55 pm

    hi Kmkakk,

    a question for you: did you leave a message with him about what is the call about? if so, do not call again…

  729. #729 by kmkakk on December 4, 2009 - 7:05 pm

    I never left a message on his voicemail last night, I got nervous and only let it ring 3 times..lol..I was just gonna call today and be like “I was just wondering if we were still on for tonight, I hadn’t heard anything from you so i wanted to make sure” If he doesnt answer should I leave a message? or just not call period…I’m starting to think I shouldnt call at all.

  730. #730 by saggi girl on December 4, 2009 - 7:38 pm

    hi,

    If you did not leave a message, and then you can call either leave a message or speak to him like that…to check if you are still on tonight… if he does not answer, then leave a message… if he does not call back and then you know he did that on purpose, and you can delete him out of your memory… as that is me… i do not want to leave myself in dark…

    i always wanted to make sure that i did my part instead of guessing around. this way, i won’t regret later..

  731. #731 by baffledgirl on December 4, 2009 - 9:10 pm

    Jane!

    I definitely hope things will work out in your favor! Yes i know what you mean when you say that taurus guys are scared of being hurt. Mine told me before he doesnt want to be ‘done wrong’ by a girl. I made sure he knew that i wouldnt do that to him. We talked last night. Just texting, because we’re not really into talking on the phone. (But when we do talk on the phone i melt a little cause his voice is sooooooo sexy and manly hehe) We talked for hours and i got another reassurance from him that he does like me ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m so happy to know that because now that ive gone 10 days without talking to him, from now on, i’m more patient and i will stop freaking out if he doesnt contact me for 2 or 3 days. THe 10 day break we had DEFINITELY helped! It was such a horrible experience for me because it hurt me, i thought he had forgotten about me and had moved on, but he was just testing me. If a guy didnt care about you, i highly doubt he would try to test you, right? Anyway, he is back to the old him and i hope hope hope this continues. I guess before, i got sucked in into always wanting to talk to him that i was always available. I guess i have to play a little and make this guy miss me from time to time. Please keep me updated about your situation! <3.

  732. #732 by Jane on December 4, 2009 - 10:01 pm

    Baffledgirl

    Hi and thankyou i hope so too, . I have been checking in to see if you posted your update!
    lol so glad all back on track for you
    Me and my guy hardly talk on the phone, when we do it is he who calls me, dont think he likes the phone much!! Like you, i love hearing my guys voice!!! Wow soooo sexy! so low and deep Grrrr! hee,hee is it any wonder these guys drive us crazy! I havnt heard from my guy today, i am ok with that (never used to be lol)

    He upset with his work situation at the moment and when that happens he retreats a bit, i just give him his space, he usually texts me next day, so i hope he does, i just love hearing from him and having conversations even by text. You are right it is good to let them miss us from time to time, yes if they didnt care they wouldnt do that testing they like to do, its only to give themselves validation, i’m ok with that, like am sure you are now too!

    I notice when i have said nice things to him that i know he likes, i may not hear from him, its like he needs to think about it or something,he says the sweetest things to me and just melts my heart, i am still waiting for it in his ACTION tho! God i love him! Keep me posted baffledgirl, I am excited for you, you go girl lol x

  733. #733 by baffledgirl on December 4, 2009 - 11:15 pm

    Jane

    Oh my goodness you are so right! I LOVE talking to my taurus through text too! Like, once we talked from 2 to 7am! haha crazy i know. But I just loooove talking to him. He says the sweetest things like your taurus! They really do say things that make us melt. Like last night, mine gave me the reassurance that he does like me and thinks im sexy! haha. I cant get enough of him! And yes! it is the same with my taurus, he doesnt like talking on the phone, but he once told me he will always make the exceptions for me. Ive only called him twice on my own haha. Im such a stubborn cancer lol. But the rest he called me on his own. In october, i called my guy at 230am cause i had a bad dream and he totally answered! His voice was sooo sexy he sounded all sleepy haha but he still picked up! 230am!! lol. But anyway, I havent heard from my taurus guy too Its 3pm right now, but i am not freaking out or upset! Honestly, i cannot believe those 10 days of us not contacting helped soo much. I feel like im so much stronger emotionally. And yes definitely let them miss us and wonder about us! Im so happy i found this website! i was hesitant to post here at the beginning because i dint know if i was going to be accepted but im definitely thankful for you ladies! ๐Ÿ™‚ Jane keep me updated! It seems like your taurus guy and my taurus guy are so alike.

  734. #734 by kmkakk on December 5, 2009 - 3:51 am

    Well I decided after all not to call him, I just put on my PJ’s and turned on lifetime…lmao…He never called or anything, so if he calls me again i’m going to tell him that I dont have time for games and if he wants to talk to me, he’s gonna have to actually talk to me..lol..From what I have read on this page Taurus men are known for there lack of communication :]…It’s odd really, cause when i like someone I wanna talk to them all the time..haha…

  735. #735 by baffledgirl on December 5, 2009 - 8:34 am

    Kmkakk

    Yeah taurus men are weird when it comes to communication. THey will chase you and contact all the time at the beginning, but once you show you have feelings, the contact will lessen. Yup you did the right thing by not contacting him. And yes, when he contacts you, confront him and tell him youre not into playing games. But dont act too too bothered about his behavior. Act like, it did affect you a little, but if hes going to continue his behavior, you will not put up with it.

  736. #736 by baffledgirl on December 5, 2009 - 8:39 am

    Just another update:

    My taurus is back to contacting me daily…for now.
    I’m definitely hoping this will continue. I think i will put some effort too, by initiating contact at times. I think thats what he wants thats why he did the whole no contact for 10 days. So i will initiate from time to time. But so far so good ladies…he’s back to paying attention to me. We didnt talk that long today, but he did text me before going to bed. That makes me feel good because hes thinking about me.

  737. #737 by Jane on December 5, 2009 - 9:12 am

    Baffledgirl

    Hi, bless you,you sound so excited! lol You are so right those ten days have made a huge difference to you emotionally and thats good coz as we both know the journey with these wonderful species of taurus LOL will have us on our toes many more times!!

    I was laughing so loud when you said you called him once at 2.30 am and he asleep!! Well, i did the excact thing only it very late evening he answered all sleepy and gruff sexy voice!! ha,ha how funny!!
    In the begining he would call often and quite random but looking back he did that so much coz he insecure, he would tell me ‘you so gorgeous’ ‘bet all the guys after you’ LOL think he thought i was going to go off with someone else i put him straight and told him i am not interested in anyone else and reasured him best i could thats why the random calls at all different strange times he was testing me! Of course he got his validation and all was well after that (well until i was the insecure one!)

    Well baffledgirl by the time you read this i am hoping you will have heard from your guy and have a plan with him that you can tell me! It is 9am i havnt heard from my guy yet, it has been a long time since he has left it more than one day so we’ll see. Oh happy days!

  738. #738 by piscesgirl on December 5, 2009 - 10:38 am

    hi girls,

    we all always said do not contact our guy first and let them initiate, just curious what will happen actually if we make an initiate first? i miss him so bad, but i also feel insecure, i not know 4 sure if he in to me or not..and i think he maybe feel the same and think the same way and maybe also waiting 4 my initate contact?? oh geezz this is crazy isn’t it.

  739. #739 by Jess on December 5, 2009 - 11:24 am

    Hi ladies,

    Just a quick hello and update that I’m going to meet my Taurus guy on Sunday instead of Friday. I’m so so excited and nervious! Why? Because it’s really a bad timing. First, I got very exhausted with so much work during the past week, now my face got so terrible like never before!!! red rash and acne…. last but not least my period is coming very soon, and that means PMS symptoms. Last month when i last saw my guy i was on PMS also and that was when i was nasty and blow it out on him…

    He text me last night that he will try to shut up so this coming Sunday is not our last date…so I text back that i promise to be super nice this time to make up what i did last time.

    Will try to read back to the above comments later, hope everyone is doing fine!

  740. #740 by Jane on December 5, 2009 - 6:24 pm

    Jess

    Hi, nice to see you back wondered where you had got to! So Sunday the big day eh, hope it goes well for you. Well at least you have both acknowledged last time and promised to be nice to eachother, that sort of prepares things to start off on the right foot at least! lol

    Piscesgirl

    Ahh it is so horrible when you are left wondering and waiting like this. These guys just dont have a clue!! You have to do what is right for you, If you feel you really want to text him then do that, he may be waiting for you, these guys do strange things!! Just be very calm and ladylike and casual in your manner. There is no harm in that. Hope it goes well for you wotever you decide x

  741. #741 by Jane on December 5, 2009 - 7:44 pm

    Hi ladies ‘HELP PLEASE!!

    I have had a horrible day, i hadnt heard from my guy since Thur afternoon, yes i no its only Saturday but he hasnt left it more than a day for such a long time and i must admit it didnt feel good!! He has been having work problems which i already know about and i know how these taurus men can hide away when they have troubles, but i dont know what it is but i just sense he is not feeling good and i am sure you have all felt this way with your guys, you just want to be there for them dont you?

    Anyway, i text him this afternoon, just saying hi hows your weekend going, he text back a minute later saying he off work and chillin and he asked how i was. I replied and I text him again this evening to ask him what day he would like to come for the meal we had planned, again he text straight back and said this Saturday 12th and he thanked me. Well as you can imagine i am all excited at this pont i replied saying great look forward to it etc THIS IS WHERE IT WENT DOWN HILL!!!
    He text back 20mins later and said ‘you are an angel and one of my best friends’
    Oh my god i am so gutted, he is obviously making a statement here, he is making sure i know we are only ‘friends’ I just felt sick coz things have been ‘warming up between us’ slowly and now its like we gone backwards!!
    I text back (all ladylike of course) and said ‘hey, your my close friend too and it sounds like you making a statement, no need honey we are friends thats all and enjoy eachothers company and have lovely food together thats all we are, its nice is it not? HE DIDNT REPLY!! I felt i needed to agree with him coz he seems to be worried that i have different idea (of course i do) I hoped this meal would do the trick and bring us closer!! I dont know what to do ?? I feel like my heart is ripped out coz i feel foolish. Please anyone advise what i should do now??

    He flirty all the time and very loving, certainly not how ‘friends’ would be with eachother, i have said this to him before in the past and he still just carries on the same! I feel so confused now,I new something is on his mind with not hearing from him,its like he just is so guarded. It feels like i did the right thing texting my reply, maybe he doesnt see me in his future, Why then doesnt he let me go? He says he couldnt be without me!!.what do you all think about this?? Afterall i know you will all understand. Thankyou xx

  742. #742 by baffledgirl on December 5, 2009 - 10:43 pm

    Jane

    oh my god….i would have been so crushed if my taurus guy said that after all the things he told me. I could only imagine how you would feel because you have actually hung out and stuff with your taurus guy. Jane…I think you should have a talk with him. Your response seemed like you were accepting that he only sees you as one of his ‘best friends’. Please talk to him and ask him if he sees himself being with you in the future. If not, i think its time for you to leave him because if he doesnt ssee you in his future, then why bother? I’m so sorry sweetie that this had to happen to you. My taurus said something similar like that to me before when we just first started talking. I developed feelings for him first, and he could tell that i was starting to like him, he told me “it would be great if you lived closer because i would love to get to know you better and develop a good level of friendship” That crusehd me sooo badly but that was when we first started talking though… Now he doesnt say things like that, so i have no idea what’s going on with yours. I definitely think you should have a talk with him. Dont be scared that thats going to scare him off. You deserve to know if he sees you in his future. If he doesnt, then i guess moving on would be the best choice. Dont torture yourself liking someone and making soemone like you if they only want a friendship and cant give you want you want. Its unfair, i know. But honey, by having a straight talk with him, you will know what he wants from you. Please update me. I wish you the best. Good luck.

  743. #743 by Jane on December 5, 2009 - 11:11 pm

    Baffledgirl

    Thank you so much for your response to me. I have tears rolling down my face reading what you said. You are so right. I will update you in the morning as i cant speak now. I have emailed him. Oh god this is horrible. Thank you i appreciate all you said my friend xx

  744. #744 by Jess on December 5, 2009 - 11:25 pm

    Jane,

    I personally think it’s too early to confront him about that as it’s gonna be ‘status’ talk, Taurus don’t talk nor give you a definite status until they are certain.

    You are definitely the nervious kind (I can tell because I’m too and I see the reflection in you…lol.) My advice is not to take his ‘WORD’ too serious, remember he can say one thing (now) but ACT the other thing (later). Most of the time Taurus mean say thing honest and mean it what they said EXCEPT the subjective issues such as relationship/feelings/romance/etc etc. (do you get my idea?) anything objective they mean as they say because they are the master of being objective and practical, while anything at heart or subjective matter, they say one thing now and act the other becaue they don’t know yet what they feel or want.

    My another advice i may give, next time if your guy text anything which you see or think it otherwise like this time, and it hurts your feeling or make you feel sad, do it the Taurus way: DON’T REPLY! the silent gives you time to think what you should say, and give you power to see how the other interpret/react to your silent mode, but if you feel a need to reply at all, do it in a joking way but do not say anything as to confirm same agreement, then act as if nothing happened next time you meet, it always works!

    By the way, don’t worry about the ‘friend’ status your guy hinting you. I got this before, mine told me at the very first couple months that he is not interested in relationship as he is not ready in this point of his life. Another time he asked me in text if he can think of me as a friend which i reply ” of course and thinking is free anyway so feel free to think of me as anything as you like ;-)”

    Taurus put their heart on guard from getting hurt and that’s one way to do (even it means to hurt yours first…), just look in their action. I didn’t see what my guy acts/treat me look anything close to ‘friend’ at all, the longer we are together the more he feels for me and i never heard him saying anything about ‘us being friends’ again.

    Relax and carry on your course ๐Ÿ˜‰

  745. #745 by Jane on December 6, 2009 - 9:42 am

    Jess, Baffledgirl

    Thankyou both so very much for your wonderful words to me, i understand what you say and it does makes sense to me.
    I emailed him last nite just basically explaining that i felt he sent me a ‘statment’ reminding me we are friends and that he didnt need to do that as i know we are friends i also said that while we text eachother like we are a couple i relise it is just his way and i dont look into it as i understand he doesnt want anything else. I complimented him on his lovely caring nature and that i do value him and our friendship. I said i fully understand he has priorities at the moment and things he unsettled about and that i fully support him in that.

    My whole email was very long and i basically sent it as i wanted to tell him i am ok with everything (i mean being friends for now) but i have to protect me ladies and i dont want to be rejected by him, i am happy doing things his way also indont want him to feel uneasy either. I hope i have done the right thing emailing him coz Jess what you say about not taking things seriously has given me hope, but i just thought if he realises i agree with everything at the moment then he may relax and just enjoy things. That is really all i have wanted to do anyway,I really do want to be his friend and then see where it goes, i just wish i new it would go somewhere eventually!!.

    I have totally been at his pace thats why i was upset with what he said, it felt like he just ‘putting me in my place’ Well he has said he wants to come for a meal on Saturday so i will do that. I am very aware of controlling my emotions, it is hard tho!! I just dont know if i should carry on the way we where, what i mean is we text eachother like we a couple, I told him in email that i used to get mixed signals from him but now i dont, thats not true, he still confuses me!
    I pointed out to him that i wouldnt text anyother friend the way i text him and most certainly not a ‘man’!! I said that coz sometimes i think he tests me and thinks if i text him that way then whoelsedo i text that way!! Oh MY GOD !! such hard work these guys are, I love him and i am trying so hard to control everything,always concern for him. When will it be my turn!!? Oh i also said in email that i never want him out of my life (he said that to me) and that i dont want to be on my own forever either, He knows that we cant stay friends if either of us meets someone else, He knows i dont want to meet anyone else.

    So, the bottom line is my dear friends is i am going to carry on for now (well i will see how he responds to email!!OMG!) i hope he believes what i have said,relaxes and just get back to taking things slow, i am up for that lol

    I am sorry to go on so much here, i really dont know what i would do without your help, thankyou it means so much.
    I realise i sound like i am all over the place! I do panic and anylise everything!! My email really wasnt like that, i hope it goes ok.

    I hope you are both doing ok, I know Jess your big night is tonight and i wish you luck. You too baffled girl hope things going well for you. Thankyou both xx

  746. #746 by Jane on December 6, 2009 - 11:04 am

    I just would like to share something with you all that may explain alittle of where my thoughts on my taurus have developed from!!
    Well he has emailed me in the past few weeks, two romantic songs which both contain words suggesting i ‘stick by him’ ‘wait for him’ his love/care for me as a special woman!! etc etc (powerful words)

    Also he sent me a peom via text saying…’to love the people who care for you, forget those who dont, life is too short to wake in the morning with regrets, believe everything happens for a reason, if you get a chance take it, if it changes your life let it nobody said life was easy they just promised it would be worth it!!!

    That is part of what he sent to me so is it any wonder i am confused as i am!!
    I was so touched by those words, i believe this guy is for me and in my heart i believe he feels it too!! Hope i am right! x

  747. #747 by Jane on December 6, 2009 - 5:24 pm

    hi Ladies

    UPDATE: Well i hadnt heard from mu taurus all day or a reply to my email to him then just 30mins ago he rang me!!! Must admit, wasnt expecting him to do that you know with these guys and how they bury their heads and avoid confrontation. So, he never mentioned my email and i didnt mention it either! lol My god crazy!!

    I just hope he has read it coz he said he has been in work since early a.m He just made small talk telling me stuff about his family, he asked how i was and what i had been doing with my day but i noticed something… he sounded really happy! Upbeat, we chatted for only 10 mins as he in work and he asked me if everything still ok for Saturday, he sounded kinda nervous saying it too!!! I dont want to build my hopes up just yet, so i am calming myself down!! God he sounded soooo sexy on the phone LOL.

    He thanked me as he went of the phone and we both said we would be in touch, i think he thanked me and sounded so happy as he probably feeling relieved that i have said i am happy with the friends thing!!(which i am for now) OH GOD!! i am just going with it for now, keeping to my word and see how things go so the call has to be a good thing right!!???
    Hope you all ok and you all happy, i take it you are as this board quiet today and only me here! lol

  748. #748 by baffledgirl on December 6, 2009 - 9:49 pm

    Jane

    I definitely think he read your email hence the unexpected phone call! I noticed with my guy, if i sound like i’m about to give up and just cut off communication, he contacts me right away and acts as if nothing happened and will ask if everything is ‘chill’ with me. I do think that your taurus probably didnt mean that all he wants from you is a friendship. I think he meant what he said in a good way as in, he sees you as a best friend who could potentially capture his heart in the future. Like i said, my taurus told me before as well that he wanted to develop a ‘good level of friendship’ of me. Like i said, that crushed me and i took it the wrong way that he only and strictly sees me as a friend. But lo and behold months later, we are still talking and he has confessed to me that he likes me. He is still around even though im far from him he continues to talk to me and keep me around. The thing i like about my taurus is that, if i have something to say, i do get nervous to confront him, but when i do, he doesnt just stop replying to me. He responds to what i say and my concerns. But anyway, i guess just wait to see how things are. And i understand how you say you and your guy talk like a couple, because me and mine talk like a couple as well! I would never talk to guys like how i talk to my guy. I wouldnt text other guys “hi baby!” lol unless their name is baby which is unlikely haha. But anyway. I’m also going to update you on my situation. Yesterday, i took the initiative to text my guy so i did and he texted back after 20 min saying he just woke up. We just said hi and goodnight. Why do i feel like hes gonna disappear again soon.. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ Idk. Things the past couple of days have been great. But i’m either taking things too personally by him being so brief with me last night, or i should just take my mind off of things for now. I took the initiative to contact him yesterday so i’ll wait for him to contact me this time. Anyway, i’m hoping he will! I know he likes me but when hes so sweet and attentive and then the next day really brief with me, it makes me think otherwise. Is it just my canceriance sensitivity? my guy told me the other night that sometimes he feels like i have doubts.

  749. #749 by Jane on December 6, 2009 - 10:53 pm

    Baffledgirl

    Hi and once again thankyou so much for your help and advice, so helpful to me. I do hope your right and he does see me as more than ‘friends’ eventually coz that is all i want,just to know we will get there in the end!!
    I do remember you saying your guy said that to you in the begining so that gives me hope coz look at you now!!! lol Hey, i want to say to you that at times when he texts and you expect it to be a certain way, i totally understand what you mean,i have felt exactly the same and been so deflated but what i remember is these guys, when they have things on their mind, are moody, upset or sometimes for any reason at all they act different, it has said before how they are quite simple really and not that complicated and easy to read when you know how!!

    We are still learning how! lol They are so deep so yes, dont get upset when he acts indifferent i know how it can make you feel insecure coz i have felt it. You say you keep feeling he going to disapear again, well that my dear is a natural feeling after his recent history but remember it is not personal, its just his way. You did the right thing initiating to him today, he knows you care and what i have learnt too is i mostly text with a ‘closed’ text, what i mean is i word it so i am not expecting a reply, that way i am not disappointed when i dont get one and he knows he is not expected to reply( of course i always want him too)!!! He texts more now.

    You are sensitive and i think that is a nice quality to have at times, i am sensitive too and taurus is for sure. Your guy must sense your insecurity/reluctance if he feeling you have doubts, It is bound to be a bit unsettling for you both at the moment being so far away. Any plans to meet? Is he still in touch daily?

  750. #750 by baffledgirl on December 7, 2009 - 12:00 am

    Jane

    I just want to say you are such an easy person to talk to! I feel like you really understand what i’m trying to say! haha. I’m so glad we met here haha. But anyway, yeah my guy does say he feels i doubt him. What do you think he means by that? Before he said he feels like i’m unsure sometimes if hes telling the truth. But i mean, yeah i just have to make sure that my feelings aren’t being played with. But i have told him to stop thinkinng i’m doubting him. I’ve told him that about 3 or 4 times. Our meeting isn’t for sure yet because i’m so busy with school and everything else. He told me our distance is the only thing stopping him. He does contact me daily, but today i have not heard from him. It is almost 4pm. I’m keeping my cool. I already expected him to not contact me cause of how indifferent he was last night. So i’ll keep my silence ๐Ÿ™‚ I initiated last night so its his turn and that should show him that im making more effort into contacting him.
    Jane do you have any messengers? because i want to tell you more things but i’m paranoid that my guy might come across this site accidentally and read the things i’m saying lol! oh my goodness that would be horrid!! haha. I have yahoo messenger and msn messenger.

  751. #751 by saggi girl on December 7, 2009 - 3:29 pm

    hi Jess,

    i was wondering how it goes with your guy last night.. the big reunion..

    i got trouble…my head was messed up last night after i saw my taurus..God, why getting along with him is that hard? his temper…his ridiculous arrogance… his unreaonable behavior… it is just too much for me to handle..

    hope you have some patience for my story, it might be long.. i will try to make it short… but it seems hard when i am emotional like right now.

    my guy picked me up yesterday afternoon like 3pm..as i want to see a movie as i have been telling him about the movie 2012.. then he was like, well, let us see a movie so we can get it out of the way. otherwise, you will keep complain..
    then i called him around 3 to see where he was, he said that he was still on the way and be here in 10 minutes and told me to get ready, so we can go right away.
    he called around 3:12 and told me that he is downstairs.. so i went downstairs 5 minuts later as i need to put on my coat, scarf and shoes and then lock the door and take the elevator… i was so excited to see him, when i jumped into his car, he was like” what were you doing, why it takes so long…i thought you were ready when i called you..” then i was like” Jesus, it was only 5 minutes.” then he was like” answer the question, what were you doing?” his voice is getting louder when he asked me to answer the question for the 2nd time.. then i pissed off…i was like” well, i need to put on my shoes… scarf and jacket… and lock my door and take the elevator dowm..” then he was like” it takes 10 minutes?” then i was pulling my phone out of my pocket and said” look, you call me 3:12, right now it 3:17… it is 5 minutes,or even less.” God, i really hated his attitude.. then i refused to talk to him as i was really pissed.. what is the big deal… he was late all the time, i neven question him why… as i more focus on the fact that we were together..
    then he was telling me that he still does not feel good from his sickness, and still recover… then i was thinking” WTF,if you are not feeling well, do not come to see me..if you do, then enjoy it, do not give me the shit..” then he was trying to reach my hand while driving.. then i refused… then he was like” well, i was not angry at you at all, i was just curious what you were doing… i was thinking that you might have a fight with roomate or he gave you the trouble.. but you just refused to answer my question.” then i was like” it is not i do not want to answer, it is more that it is not worthy to ask this question.’ then he blow off like” you do not talk to me like that.. whom you think you are to tell me things like that…you always ask me questions all the time… why i can not ask this simple question.. it is just a question… you do not have the right to talk to me like that.” i really wanted to jump off the car.. as i can not take it.. he was like a psycho.. what is the big deal, why he asked this question when it shouldn’t be asked in the first place. but he was thinking that he just asked this question because of out of curiosity.. he was thinking that i had fight with my roomate.. I think it is just a bullshit…. so we went to the restauruant, he paid the bill and i paid the tip.. he was trying to find some topic to talk with me.. but i do not want to.. i was on my phone checking the internet, then he was like” whom you are talking with?’ then i was like” nobody and just check my email.” then he asked how my work week will be, if there is any event going on next week, i know he was trying to chit chat.. but i was still mad as i think he picked the fight… it really killed the good time that we are supposed to have.. then he asked him what i want for my birthday.. i was like” peace.’ after that, we gave each other attitude… he was telling me that he won’t be ok until i apologized for what i said to him that i do not think it is worth to ask that question… I still do not understand why he was so pissed when i said that…
    then we went back to the car, we tried to understand each other, but we both failed… he thought that it is just a question and he was not complaning, but i don’t think he should ask this question, as it only shows that he was complaning.. and he was late all the time but i never question as it is not worth it.. then we decided that we are not going to apologize to each other and then we are gonna drop it… after i said that i am going to drop it.. i also told him not to speak “f” word again as he said twice today, then he refused to admit that he said twice.. then he said 3rd time, then he looked at me and said” well, i said 3 times so far.” then he was like” you just said that you are going to drop it. then you mentioned it again.. i do not want to talk about it… then he lost control and was yelling and pat his own leg like” do not push it.. do not.. you just push it ..push it… .’ wow, he was like a psycho.. i really wanted to tell him that he needs to see a doc.. but i did not… as i do not want to push further since he was already that crazy..

    so i told him that i do not want to see the movie anymore, i wanna go home… then he was silent for a minute.. then drove me home, but when it reached the crossing road, then he asked me again” home or movie?” then i was like” home.” then he was like” you said you gonna drop it.” then it was almost home, then he asked me again” are you sure that you wanna go home?” then i was like” yeah.”
    so i got off the car and did not say anything to him, he was like” be careful.’ i slam the door and left..

    God, am i wrong? or he is a psycho… when he was acting all psycho.. i can not deal with it.. i think it might be the case that we are not compatible..

  752. #752 by Jane on December 7, 2009 - 8:39 pm

    Baffledgirl

    Hi and what a lovely thing you said, i feel the same too!! lol it is good to chat to someone going thru same thing and who understands!! Yes i am glad we met on here too. You could give me your email if thats what you mean? I could email you and arrange msn?
    Well, i think your guy saying to you that you doubt him is him probably sensing the uncertainty, what i mean by that is, his long abscence without contact, his long distance from you and as you said to me you feel at times like he is going to go/disapear again so he probably feels it too, the distance thing coz it would be hard on anyone, especially when two people are just starting out together.

    I think the more you both in touch with eachother and chatting as well both of you will relax a little and i think you should try to meet up asap coz that will help very much with any worries from either of you. It is good he in contact with you daily at least then you know he is thinking about you!! lol I would deffinatly say keep the flow of contact moving all the time coz long distance can be difficult as i said. Hey its all looking good so far, chill and enjoy!!

    Well i will update you my situation!!! As i told you he rang me yesterday 4.30pm and as he in work till 10pm i text him at 8pm (as i usually do at some point when he on late shift) Just said hi, hope you ok your shift nearlly done etc…. Any way he would always reply to me at some point that evening or at the very latest next morning, he didnt. Even this morning he didnt and i havnt heard from him at all today!! I am thinking ‘did he not see email until today’ or now that we established ‘FRIENDS’ is he backing off!!

    Oh god, i dont know these guys drive us around the bend!! lol I am not freaking out,not yet anyway! The only reason i text last night was to ‘carry on as normal’ i didnt want him to think i was going to be different after email, i am wishing i hadnt text him last night now!
    God i do over anylise things and i must keep reminding myself how these guys are!!
    Oh i nearly forgot!!!! one thing i said to him in email when i said i am happy to be friends for now, i also said i dont want to ‘move on’ and i ‘dont want any other man’ WHY DID I SAY THAT!!! I mean he knows i am really in to him but i think by saying that he now knows ‘i am not going anywhere and i am just going to wait for him! If he slow in action now my god that will make him stop altogether!!!!!
    Oh happy days!!

  753. #753 by baffledgirl on December 7, 2009 - 8:40 pm

    Saggi girl

    I’m not sure that if i were in your positition, I would continue to see this guy. But that is just what I feel from what you described. He seems like he has a temper problem and for me, i would not put up with it cause i am sensitive AND who does HE think he is yelling at you like that? What do you think you will do now….?

  754. #754 by Jane on December 7, 2009 - 8:47 pm

    Jess

    Hi, hope your meeting with your guy went well.
    Hope you have got lots of good stuff to tell us, give us all hope!!Looking forward to hearing all about it Jess.

  755. #755 by saggi girl on December 7, 2009 - 9:13 pm

    baffledgirl,

    i do not know at this point..i might need to leave or talk to him about it.. but i think talking to him about those problems will be in vain.. as he is not gonna change for who he is at this age.. i can not change or accept what i can not accept.. i told him last time when he raised his voice on me that i do not like it.. he was telling me that he will be careful…but still… when he is angry, he is angry, there is no way to control it…i don’t know what to do.. actually, after the drama, i texted him that it was too hard for me to deal with his personality… he is too strong for me… i felt hurt… and we might need to think if we are compatible or not. then he texted me back saying” take it easy… have a good night..”

    it is just very frustrated for all this happened last night, my roomate told me to leave him..

  756. #756 by Jane on December 7, 2009 - 9:19 pm

    Saggi girl

    That sounds so awful, are you ok? It sounds very scary too and you must not put up with that behaviour from anyone. I actually feel quite worried for you. A disagreement, argument few raised voices is one thing but this sounds alot more than that.
    If he feels you are going to just put up with it or forgive him each time, believe me it will get worse. If i was you i would calmly chat with him on the phone, tell how you feel disrespected by him (thats how i would feel) explain how his outburst made you feel and even tho he said he not too well, does that then mean that each time he not feeling himself you have to prepare for that!!? I know its hard coz you like him and your trying to understand, maybe tell him that.

    Think of you and what you want, he will respect you more for standing up for yourself. Take care and please think about it. Keep me posted and remember we are all here if you need help, advice ,support.

  757. #757 by saggi girl on December 7, 2009 - 10:18 pm

    Jane,

    thanks for your concern.. at this point, i think i should just ignore his phone call for now… i don’t know how long it will be… but it is something i want to do now.. something happened like this before when he got fraustrated with his work and his patience level is low…i was silent and refused to talk to him…but he apologized for it.. i know he is a reasonable person, when he thought he did wrong, he was always apologizing… but when he was angry or grumpy.. he will be like that again… i think he got a problem taking out on people when he was not happy..i don’t know.. i guess i need to clear my head to figure out what i wanted…if i am ready for a long run with him like that..

  758. #758 by Jess on December 8, 2009 - 12:06 pm

    saggi girl,

    You actually understand his behavior and how he take it out irrationally. I’m going through the same problem and had blown out emotional arguments a few times.

    I will tell you this, he seems to know he was wrong but he was not the kind of guy who can SAY sorry so easy like many of us but when he tried to hold your hand and explained some bullshit reason, that was his way to say sorry… (yeah bull(shit) way!) and when you stroke his ego by telling him his question is not worth asking since the first place… he blow it out on you. Saggi girl, ask yourself if you think this is major issue for you and if you can put up with this in the future. (sorry but I’m sure there is more in the future) A good male friend once told me, if you love a guy and really want to be with him, don’t try to understand him, but try to forgive and forget his stupidity.

    I myself am much less than being perfect (you must not believe how twisted I can be…hehe) but I never wanted nor wish to tolerate any men who can not respect me. Now I’m facing this dilemma. This bull guy I’m dating can put up with my sicko and handle, satisfy me the way other men can not, BUT he doesn’t hold in the concept of ‘respectful’. We both said to each other that we are trying to change for each other (but I’m sure we can not change…) At this point, I already made up my mind to stick with him and give my best shot.

    It’s been a year for me dating this guy, there are things he said that hurt my feelings to tears but there are also things he did that impressed me to tears too. There are times that we ignore each other but none of those time he ever disappear from me. There are some personal things he did that made say to myself that I want to accept him like when he accept me for what I am, and want to forgive him like when he forgive me when I made silly mistake… these things that keep reappearing in my thought every time i got upset about him.

    So saggi girl, I’m truly sorry for this emotional drama he did that hurt you. (yes it was him who is being emotional this time!!) It’s all up to you, but if you are not giving up on him yet, leave it a few days for him to realize the damage he caused and when he tried to contact, talk to him when both of you are in good mood.

    Make peace and make love! LOL.

  759. #759 by Jess on December 8, 2009 - 12:27 pm

    Ok, update my story a bit LOL.

    It was such a hectic Sunday for me, I had appointment all day long from the morning. My love coming back from another town and told me he will arrive latest at 9 pm. but I didn’t get to see him until it was 10.30…

    We first got something to eat but I was more than being exhausted when we met so it was like my body is there but my soul has been lost somewhere because I was not able to focus on anything he said, I didn’t care about food or anything at all, I was just sitting there and try not to look like dead…

    Then we tried to find a nice hotel close to my place but they are all full… (because it was a long holiday here) We tried 3 places and started to get hopeless. He said he believe in destiny and he started to feel something doesn’t want us to be together…

    We finally got a room but it was only 6 hours and I had to go to work… He was so nice to give me double orgasm! lolololol….. He didn’t finish for himself but told me to sleep right away, he said it feels good to sleep after orgasm. Then he started to work on his computer. I was looking at him a bit… he start talking about the work he was doing at the moment, and I started to fall asleep, then he joined me on the bed and we both fall asleep. It was so cute but so funny because the room we got is twin bed and we both sleep together on this one very small bed. I woke up to see that and feel funny, i left him to sleep more and left for work to find out that my period was coming couple hours later…

    Ladies now you can imagine how super exhausted I was going thru a long night with double O and period on top…

    It was one of a good night though ๐Ÿ˜‰

  760. #760 by saggi girl on December 8, 2009 - 3:12 pm

    Hi Jess,

    it was so funny of your double O and P on top… LOL

    I am glad that you spent a great time with him and i am so jelous of yourDouble O..LOL

    yeah, i understand your point……either drop him if i can not put up with it as it surely will be more in the future or forgive and forget the stupidity if i want to be with him… but it was just so hard to handle at the moment when it happened.. i told him once that the problem between us is that he wants to control me and i do not like to be controlled. but he said it was another way around….. anyway, he is just a hard one to deal with..

    actually, i texted him on that night like” i guess making ourselves to be understood is hard.. no matter what it is.. i would like to leave it behind, would you? i do not want to go to bed being mad at each other as life is too short and it was also no worth it…do you agree?’ then he texted me like” agree… have a good night and be safe tomorrow.” we are in peach now and he called me last night to say good night…

    Jess, it seems that i have to be clear about what i really wanted..Loving someone is really not easy…i guess i have to swallow a lot of selfness in order to be with him.. God, it won’t be a easy road..

    I am glad that you are doing great …Thank you, you are just magic and was always making me feel calm and good..

  761. #761 by saggi girl on December 8, 2009 - 3:13 pm

    Hi Jess,

    it was so funny of your double O and P on top… LOL

    I am glad that you spent a great time with him and i am so jelous of yourDouble O..LOL

    yeah, i understand your point……either drop him if i can not put up with it as it surely will be more in the future or forgive and forget the stupidity if i want to be with him… but it was just so hard to handle at the moment when it happened.. i told him once that the problem between us is that he wants to control me and i do not like to be controlled. but he said it was another way around….. anyway, he is just a hard one to deal with..

    actually, i texted him on that night like” i guess making ourselves to be understood is hard.. no matter what it is.. i would like to leave it behind, would you? i do not want to go to bed being mad at each other as life is too short and it was also no worth it…do you agree?’ then he texted me like” agree… have a good night and be safe tomorrow.” we are in peach now and he called me last night to say good night…

    Jess, it seems that i have to be clear about what i really wanted..Loving someone is really not easy…i guess i have to swallow a lot of selfness in order to be with him.. God, it won’t be a easy road..

    I am glad that you are doing great …Thank you, you are just magic and was always making me feel calm and good..

    but i am still jealous of your O.. LOL

  762. #762 by saggi girl on December 8, 2009 - 3:14 pm

    ops…sorry .. i accidently posted twice..

  763. #763 by virgo10 on December 8, 2009 - 7:10 pm

    jess
    sounds like you had an amazing night! arn’t we luckyyy, but i must admit i am jealous lol but at least one of us is getting some from these taurus dudes lol

    saggi girl,
    looks like you went through a rough time with your guy, but luckily you managed to save it, i see a pattern with these guys but its weird. i thought taurus dont like confrontation, but you clearly called it out on him and he was fine with it…so i dont understand. are you suppose to initiate the talk?? but won’t this scare them off??

    i want to tell my guy how i feel but i am so scared of rejection and scaring him off. i am a virgo and i read that a virgo-taurus relationship is very slow to start because neither one wants to initiate it bc we are both afraid of rejection….we are both alike which is awesome but then again nothing gets done… not sure what to dooo lol he’s killing meee

  764. #764 by baffledgirl on December 8, 2009 - 8:11 pm

    virgo10

    i too, am scared of scaring my taurus guy away BUT i STILL tell him things like my feelings for him and if i have questions that are bothering me, i ask him. Last week we talked and we ended up talking about our feelings, i forgot how we ended up talking about that, but we did. So we talked and then i told him things and then i tried to end that topic, saying that im gonna stop talking about our feelings and such because it might scare him off. He said the things i say dont scare him off, and he likes that i tell him whats going on in my mind. Not sure if he meant that or if he was just pretending lol. But i’m glad though, my taurus has not been rude to me, when i have something to say, he doesnt reject what i say. He listens and gives me a response. Its weird because i used to be scared of telling him my feelings, like you have no idea how nervous i would get if i wanted to bring something up, even if its just over text or online. But talking to him and liking him and dealing with him, i’m gaining patience and i’m more assertive. But when i’m assertive, i’m not rude. I bring things up nicely and slowly lol. I’m very afraid of rejection as well, i’m a cancer! so i’m uber sensitive. But he KNOWS i’m sensitive, i love how he recognizes that trait of mine and tries to work with it. But anyway, its good to hear from you! Hope things are well.

    UPDATE:
    My taurus and i have been talking, but yesterday, i did not hear from him. I’m not freaking out or mad. I am simply calm. Surprisingly ๐Ÿ™‚ One day is nothing to the 10 days he made me wait (even though he was technically waiting for me to contact him). I have not heard from him yet, its 12pm right now. So we’ll see if he contacts me tonight, if he doesn’t then….i guess he doesnt. Keeping my cool.

  765. #765 by saggi girl on December 8, 2009 - 9:15 pm

    virgo 10,

    with my taurus guy, when i talked to him in a nonthreating manner, he will be ok with it even talking about the feeling that he has for me or i have for him… he told me once that the reassurance that girl needed from their boyfriend was ok as soon as it was not being asked all the time…i think taurus was ok with confrontation as long as it was necessary even though they do not like it.. but if it was inevitable, he still has to deal with it.. likewise with us..

    even now, sometimes i am still concerning how he reacted to my confrontation.. what if he left me.? but i think we still need to deal with what we have to deal with even though at the back of our head that we are afraid of the consequences.. but we can not change who we are… when we blew off. we pissed off, we yell, we scream..whatever, i guess it just came out in a way we can not control at the moment.. but i believe that every incident happening will have some results either in a positive or negative way… when it was ended with a negative outcome, then it was too bad, but it will happen sooner or later, the relationship can not be always sunny or sweet… but when two people still want to give it a try and stick together, then it might make the relationship stronger.. he knows what you don’t like or you know what he does not like.. of course we can not change who we are but at least we know where it comes from when it comes to the confrontation..

    I will keep my finger crossed and hopefully i will be ok when the next drama lands..

  766. #766 by virgo10 on December 9, 2009 - 12:56 am

    i hear what you guys are saying and perhaps i should get the confidence to ask him but one side of me feels that i have no right in asking him… my situation is beyond messed up lol i’ve only seen him twice in 4 months and yet there is such a strong attraction….we have been meaning to meet up but I cancelled twice and him well 3 times saying he was sick and the other times something came up.. but yet we’ve kept in touch either by texting or he usually calls me which is weird bc i thought taurus guys dont like to talk on the phone… and then he sends me msgs like talking about the future of how we are going to hook up and how he loves my voice lol i tell him he’s all talk but i must admit perhaps i get my hopes up but i dont show it to him… lol

    my one friend says i have no right asking him where we stand because ive only seen him twice, which is true! i know he feels bad because i heard it in his voice but i didnt call it out on him, i just played it like nothing happened.

    i’ve been reading more of the previous comments and i know 4 months is nothing in comparison to what other ppl have been through, but its kinda weird that i havnt seen him as much…the last time i saw him it was perfect, and he kept on saying how alike we were and how i was just like him, and we ended up making out and it was so passionate. he knows that i dont do one night stands and neither does he so that makes me feel better but hes a very good looking guy whos well off so i know that there are other girls after him…i just hope im not getting played and i just hope hes not lying to me…my aunt is a taurus and she is a pathological liar, and its just weird that he has gotten sick 3 times in the past 4 months, like i want to believe him but my mind is saying WTF lol

  767. #767 by baffledgirl on December 9, 2009 - 3:15 am

    Virgo10

    I know what you mean. My taurus and i are 5 hours away, so we dont get to see each other. But we keep in touch by texting, online, and sometimes calling. He doesnt like to talk on the phone either! But all the calls between us, he made almost all of them. He told me to call him whenever, but i get nervous lol and him not liking talking on the phone makes me more apprehensive but as i’ve said on other posts, i had this compulsion to call my guy at 230am lol and so i did and he picked up. But anyway, yeah my taurus and i arent dating, he told me the distance is the problem. But even though him and i aren’t dating, i understand that i have no right to ask him how he feels about me either, BUT because our relationship is like fiends but more than friends but not yet dating lol, ive asked him how he felt about me and i even went as far asking if he has no feelings for me then i should go ahead and leave him alone, but he has told me he feels the same as me. But like i said, my taurus is a bit different from the taurus’ of the other lovely ladies on here. Mine doesnt mind me asking questions about where he stands, but i do noticed that when i kept asking him before, it probably overwhelmed him a little. So i’m not really sure how yours is. If he gets freaked out easily or not.

  768. #768 by scorpio07 on December 9, 2009 - 3:19 am

    hi everybody i have been dating my taurus man for about two months and he is the best thing that never happen to me so far and i hope it stays like that .im 18 and he is 19 yes i know we are young lol but yeah we acyually met on myspace crazy i know lol and stated talking the day i sent him him a friend request we started talking for few weeks then decided to meet .the day we met he introduce me to his mom and she loved me right away which is surprising to him because she doesnt like no body but any who i though he was the most handsome person i have never seen nd i was attracted to him right away and since then we been going good .from wat i have read so far i fonud it very interesting ,and if you guys dont mind i would to have your advice on how i could help keep our relationship the same .when he made me met his mom does that mean that he is serious bout me and that he really loves me like he said he did please respond i really want to know how i should handle him when he start showing me those taurean men attitude because i really love him and im ready to do anything to satisfy him and i wouldnt want to see him go

  769. #769 by Jane on December 9, 2009 - 3:52 pm

    Jess

    hey sounds like you had a fabulous time with your guy, in more ways than one may i add!! LOL So you both more than made up for lost time eh! So happy for you that everything went so well.
    He sounds sooo conciderate of you too, how sweet. I have the ‘big meal’ we planned this Saturday!! Looking forward to it although feel bit nervous especially that we are ‘friends status’ and recently confirmed!! God i only heard from him this a.m from the email i sent him Saturday night, i honestly was begining to think i had freaked him out, even though he did ring me the next day after i sent it!

    Jess, could i ask you, how do you think i should be with him when we have our meal!? i mean should i be a little flirty with him, dress up and make a fuss over him!!?? I know you have a year long experience with your guy and i imagine you have been through this many times! lol

    I am worried you see that now i have agreed we are ‘friends’ he may think i didnt mean it if i then flirt with him! As you can tell i am a worrier and i wanted this to be positive for us as i have never cooked for him before.
    Do you have any tips Jess that you think i should know!?

    I was wondering also how you left things with your guy, what i mean is, did you make further plans coz i know these guys dont like to decide stuff there and then and they like to think about stuff so thinking i should avoid making further plans with him , i am thinking ahead i know! havnt even got Saturday here yet( i know it may be different for you and your taurus as you been together nearly year)
    I want to thank you for your input you make sense in all you say and your help truly is invalueable its great you are a year down the line with one of these fabulous taurus men, i hope get there eventually!!

    Saggi girl

    Hi, you are right loving someone really isnt easy but, you sound like you are trying your best to give him your attention to understand him and telling him also how you dont like control and what it is you want. You may be just the lady to make this guy see sense and realise what he could lose if he doesnt wise up. He sounds like he cares for you and it maybe just that no-one has cared enough before to take the time to help him work through this coz afterall if he wants you in his life then he must respect and care for you as you deserve! Maybe in his past people have either left him or just put up with it therefore he may never have had to deal with anything before until now, you a woman standing up for herself. He will respect that. In the ladylike way you do it of course lol Just take it slow Saggi girl you like him and he likes you and hopefully your patience with him will prove a big thing. I wish you the very best.

    Virgo 10

    Hi, i am a virgo too and have been with my guy for 7 months, well i say that but we have been in contact pretty much daily for 7months except for 2weeks when we split few months back and the odd day here and there. Well we are now ‘friends’ as he not ready for relatinship!! (if you have read my earlier posts you will have known already)

    Anyway my point to you is i told my guy that i loved him few months ago and my timeing was all wrong as we going through an up and down period, anyway we talked about it. (he said he loved me by tect before that!!) It has been said on here by some of these ladies (and they are right) to not give to much to taurus in the way of feelings in the begining stages until they express some to you as they get scared off.

    I think thats why me and my guy are now ‘friends’ he could not handle it also he has to be sure, he tests me all the time and the mad thing is i know this guy is really in to me but he typical taurus, will do what he wants to do when he wants to do it!! This site has given me so much insight into these guys and the wonderful ladies here have been amazing in their help and advice, i now feel like i am getting somewhere!! It is hard but i love it lol I love him!! Just do what i did and watch him, study him, learn how he is and life will get a bit easier!! Good luck. Oh i have only saw my guy twice since july!!

  770. #770 by virgo10 on December 9, 2009 - 5:27 pm

    wow Jane… you’ve only saw him twice since July?? you indeed have the patience of a saint!!! it kills me how similiar all these guys are!! so you definitely understand where I am coming from…I guess I just have to wait it out because as he has told me, TIME WILL TELL lol

    what i dont understand is that he’s the one that keeps asking me out and then he’s the one that cancels out… i read in the previous posts that these taurus dudes just talk but eventually will follow through with their actions, is that true??

  771. #771 by saggi girl on December 9, 2009 - 6:13 pm

    Jane,

    thanks for your word..

    i want to give you my opinion if you allow me..LOL

    looking at your story, it sounds similar to mine.. well, of course, almost all of the problems are similar here.. actually, my situation was even harder than yours as mine was seperating from his wife when we started dating.. he never gave me a definite term about who we are to each other..we are seeing each other more often at the beginning.. but after I wanted to define the term and he slowed down and sometimes making excuse of not seeing me… either he was sick or he has to do the laundry..and the list can go on and on..

    sometimes, i got fraustrated and wanted to quit on him.. then i tried but it just seems that he was always back even we stopped talking to each other the longest for 3 weeks.. but when he came back.. i made sure that i did not ask for the confirmation about where we were to each other or where is this leading to right away… i guess the reason he came back is because he is attracted to me for some reason… but he was just not ready for the serious relationship at that moment.. he told me that he could have lied to me that he was ready for a relationship and gave me all the title that i wanted to just shut me up but he said that he just want to be honest.. the reason i let things be the way it was is just becuase i made sure that he did not see anyone else and i believed it.. if he did see someone else at the same time seeing me , then i would take it in a different way..

    Jane, i think you just need to analyze your situation to see if he is seeing someone else or not… if he is not, then i think it would be ok.. he is attracted to you and stays with you and did not see anyone else… it is just the matter of the time for him to get ready… so what you need is to have the patience…

    after 2 years, we are finally being official…but it was a long ride… you are just dating him for 7 months and it was just too earlier to define on terms.. if he has a history in his relationship and it will take even longer..

    you need to make sure that you are always dressing your best and be considerate and nice.. showed him that you would be there for him whenever he wanted you… sometimes, they are doing the testing… as deep inside, they are like a fragile little boy and was afraid to be hurt..even fragile then us.. i think..

    good luck with your upcoming date and keep us posted..

  772. #772 by saggi girl on December 9, 2009 - 6:20 pm

    oh, Jane, i might mistaken your story.. since we have to many bull-lover here.. if you just saw him twice after july, then you can just relax and make it fun to be with.. dress in a very feminie way but not too much makeups, i know mine hates makeup.. as i did not wear makeup at all.. LOL, and then enjoy the time being together…but depend your move on his move..since you haven’t seen each for that long..

  773. #773 by baffledgirl on December 9, 2009 - 8:44 pm

    Wow…my taurus guy is really pissing me off. As a ot of you know, we started talking again, and now he has disappeared again. If he doesn’t contact me today, ti will be the 3rd day that we didnt talk. I texted him 30 minutes ago, no reply. Not sure if hes taking a nap or is purposely ignoring me. I DONT UNDERSTAND this!!! Things were going great, WTF??? ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I’m starting to get hurt by this, especially cause i initiated contact and hes not even replying to my text. I feel like a fool.

  774. #774 by virgo10 on December 9, 2009 - 9:26 pm

    baffled girl!
    i know what you mean… my guy has done that too me too and im like WTF? this one time i texted him on friday night and heard nothing and then i was an idiot and texted him sunday night, hoping he would text back and he didnt until monday saying he was sorry but he was busy…kill yourself.. they dont like to make things into a big deal but to us its MAJOR lol so perhaps once again hes testing you… just be patient, do something don’t wait for him. but i know its hard because its like we are under some sort of spell and we’re like possessed or something…. right now I am playing the waiting game tooo hopefully it wont be that longggg, BE STRONGGG ๐Ÿ™‚

  775. #775 by baffledgirl on December 9, 2009 - 9:28 pm

    Stil no reply after an hour. Im not freaking out, but its not like him to NOT reply at all. I saw he was on myspace before i texted him. Things were just going smoothly, i dont understand the sudden distant. I’m back to square one….i’m back to stressed out and sad.
    ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  776. #776 by Jane on December 9, 2009 - 9:43 pm

    Virgo 10

    Hi, yes i am learning patience now but it has not been easy and still isnt at times, i am not the most patient person!! This situation is really teaching me tho!

    It maybe that your taurus keeps asking you out to see how willing you are, its like he could be testing to see if you say yes!! Then when you do he gets all them ‘feelings’ these guys get that can freak them out!! HARD WORK!! But we love them! lol

    I have learnt through being on here that taurus are very good with ‘words’ but it is their ‘action’ that you must pay attention too, they very good at telling you how wonderful,sexy, gorgeous you are lol! They so good at it and of course we love it!!! So like you i am waiting for him to follow through on his words with action. He has followed through a few times tho. Also what i have learnt is when you say something to him or ask him something, give him time to think about it, he needs time to digest what you say,prossess it before he gives you anything back, i used to find that so hard when i didnt understand! lol

    Also always be calm in your manor, ladylike coz these guys do not like drama and us ladies can be emotional at times LOL they struggle with that too!! These taurus guys are so addictive and i am soooo glad i found this site!I have and still do all the little tricks and tips these ladies on here share and believe me they are true and they work! Good luck and keep me posted.

    Saggi girl

    Hi saggi girl, your opinion is always welcomed, thankyou
    I remember your earlier posts when your guy was leaving his wife and how very difficult things where for you as you did not know for sure how things where going to go. Yes you are right i see the similarities too. Yes i got very frustrated too in the begining and wanted to quit so many times, i spent more times crying than not, the longest we didnt contact was 2weeks and i missed him so much!

    If it wasnt for finding this site and understanding the ways of the taurus!! lol I dont think i would have stuck it out and thats not coz of not wanting too, it is because here and thanks to you and the others i have gained some understanding and thank god for that!!
    I used to take everything personal, not realising it just his way!
    I understand what you say about him seeing anyone else, believe me if i thought that for one minute he would be history!! I really believe he is in to me and not seeing anyone else, it has crossed my mind before, then i watched his way, lifestyle and routine and now really feel he faithful to me. I am happy in that knowledge. I can only take his word, i hope i am right!

    I am getting better with patience, he has bad history with relationships and been so hurt, very hard for him to trust so i know how gentle and patient i need to be, and i will, i am. It took you 2 years you say!! Wow i didnt ralise that Saggi girl, i must have misread! You have come so far and how good is that. These outbursts of shouting and temper from him is this new to you after all this time? Or os something troubling him? I do hope you both manage to work that out after coming so far.

    It is not so much ‘status’ i want right now but i would like to at least to know that we will get there in the end and that he sees me in his future, thats all i want for now but as we ‘friends’ i cant ask him that. I will dress up, and i take you advice and wait for his move always, thankyou i appreciate you saying all you said. You help so much.I will keep you posted.

  777. #777 by saggi girl on December 9, 2009 - 10:07 pm

    baffledgirl,

    if you freaked out like this every time he’s not calling you, how would you manage to take the long ride with him.. sorry for being too outspoken as i was in your position before… i know all my worries was a wasting of my energy…it turns out that he was just busy or wants to be alone at the moment.. who not?

    i think you need to take it easy and give him some space.. do not take it too personal, baffledgirl… well, i think you are a little bit clingy.. if a guy was not calling me for one day or two, i will be ok..

    do not hate me…LOL, i am just speaking my mind..

  778. #778 by Jane on December 9, 2009 - 10:08 pm

    Baffledgirl

    Sorry to hear your feeling upset, i know how hard this is for you especially as you have already gone thru this with him and i know he has been asking you if you ‘doubt him’, so yes WTF!!! Your right but calm down and dont jump to conclusions yet, there may be an explanation. Hey, he may be testing your ‘doubt’ seeing as he was thinking that. These guys are complicated!! Hang on in there. Let him come to you coz he will remember everything you have said and may just be thinking things through, you know how long these guys take to do anything!!

  779. #779 by Jane on December 9, 2009 - 10:13 pm

    Saggi girl you are right!! Baffled girl is early days like me and still learning!! lol!! You are spot on!! your a star!

  780. #780 by saggi girl on December 9, 2009 - 10:15 pm

    Jane,

    i am glad that i can do a little help in your situation and glad that we can learn from each other and sharing ideas from different perspective..

    that is why we are all here…to comfort each other to take the long ride…

  781. #781 by baffledgirl on December 9, 2009 - 10:33 pm

    Just found out some things right now. I’m extremley hurt and feel very resentful. I think its time for me to move on and just leave this guy alone. He doesnt deserve me at all.

  782. #782 by baffledgirl on December 9, 2009 - 10:39 pm

    I cant believe this guy. After all the good things he told me, he said he meant everything, but i found out some very hurtful things. im so hurt my him. I cant believe a person could be so shady. Idk what im gona do. I think i’ll give it some time and then decide wehther its best for me to just leave him alone or stick around a little. i have no idea. i just need time to think.

  783. #783 by saggi girl on December 9, 2009 - 10:50 pm

    Baffledgirl,

    what is going on??? you ok?? sorry that you felt hurt for whatever the reason is…

  784. #784 by piscesgirl on December 10, 2009 - 12:51 am

    baffledgirl,

    hey u seems not in good condition, something went wrong?
    if u can’t handle this guy in ur early relationship, just leave him and move on, honey. that’s what i do. my guy never contact me again since last time we met in cinema, it’s already 9 days, but i stop thinking about it, and move on, life’s must goes on, beib..
    cheers up!!

  785. #785 by baffledgirl on December 10, 2009 - 1:18 am

    Yeah my taurus is shady. Hes a big big flirt. I confroted him today, i didnt care if it wouldve freaked him out whatsoever, i deserve to know if im being played, and yet again, he said no hes not playing with me, he likes me, blah blah blah. i’m sick of it, i feel like hes incredibly selfish, he wants me for himself but its okay for him to flirt with other girls. right now, i’m not gonna talk to him because i just need my space. Hurts me to think that all along hes been flirting with other girls. It may not be something serious, but it hurts ME. At this point, i want to give up on him. I like him a lot, i trusted his words, and he had the audacity to tell me that i always doubt him. But how could i NOT doubt him if hes flirting with girls. I cant believe him, he KNOWS if i walk away he’s losing a good girl. I just need time to think about whether its worth it leaving him right now. We’re not bf and gf, and i understand hes not committed to me, but i would appreciate him not treating me like he wants to be with me and saying wonderful things and then flirt with other girls. Like, thats just really inconsiderate and hurtful. I cant believe him, after all the good things he has told me, hes gonna go do this to me. He knows hes at fault and i dont deserve to have been treated like this because this whole time we’ve talked, he was my main guy that i talked to. I have tears rolling down my face cause im devastated that he could do this to me when he knew damn well that i didnt deserve to be treated like this. Its a shame i let my guard down and actually fell for his words. I believe he meant the things he said, but what im most disappointed in, is him being shady and just inconsiderate. I contacted him today, i said that if he cant reciprocate the feelings that i have for him then i must go away for good. He reassured me that his feelings for me are still present, but i cant help but not completely believe him. After that, i didnt reply to him. Im hurt and angry and disappointed.

  786. #786 by virgo10 on December 10, 2009 - 1:49 am

    i’m sorry this is very random but i have to add it because i think it suits all of us and can be our anthem:

    BAD ROMANCE by lady gaga

    you and me could write a bad romanceee,
    caught in a bad romance!!!!!!

    baffled girl,
    just think about it and give yourself time, its all up to you now, if you think he is worth it then give it time, if not move on to the next guy! its ultimately his loss if he loses you, not yours ๐Ÿ™‚

    these guys don’t know how much we like them, like seriously we have joined this blog to discuss our problems with complete strangers and learn from each other, thats dedication… i would never do this for another guy…NEVER!!! i hope all our problems work out and we are just HAPPY ๐Ÿ™‚

  787. #787 by baffledgirl on December 10, 2009 - 2:21 am

    virgo10

    Yeah I wish i was happy. things were going well but i guess i’ve been misled.

  788. #788 by piscesgirl on December 10, 2009 - 11:58 am

    virgo10

    u bet! LOL !! i even sign up in another astrological web and made consultation to completely taurus guy stranger, OMG!! but now i stop it, or i will be end up crazy.. lol
    love not only make us happy but make us insane isnt it, da*n it, lol

  789. #789 by Jess on December 10, 2009 - 12:04 pm

    Jane,

    Please don’t strain or sadden yourself with the bullshit ‘friendship status’ the bull babbling about LOL. They always put it that way at the beginning as one of their self protection.

    Also I need to be upfront that what I did might not work with other bulls, so please adapt it to your situation. I don’t flirt with him (not until the past few months). I was always rather nervous (and am still a bit now) but he always manage to provoke me somehow, either initiated some debatable subjects or did or said something that i couldn’t help but return back the same favor…

    I’m not worried as I’m sure you will dress up nice and smell nice, so I may suggest you to smile a lot (if you cant think of anything to say or didn’t know how to react when being shy or anything, just SMILE!

    As a matter of fact I have to say I think the conversation is the key. It doesnt mean you have to be talkative or fluent or giving smart opinion, but you will feel it when both of you are having a conversation in a compatible degree. Don’t agree with him in everything (as to get away from hard topic or to please him), but provide reason when you see it otherwise (doesn’t matter the reason is good enough, oh and don’t get upset if he try to convince you to see it his way…hehe)

    Bottom line is, be yourself and smile (in any case when don’t know what to do…LOL.)

    Oh your Q about how i left thing with future plan? I never left anything…LOL. You are right they don’t like to decide it right there (and even they do, they change it later to suit them best…) I mean at the end of each date, I will say smth like… “Ok i have to go home, thank you for dinner (as they are always his treat) please take care and please keep in touch’…. and spend some more time on the kiss and hugs. This whole process of saying good bye will keep repeat and take another 10-20 mins to last… because he will drag it and try not to let you go… And the reason i don’t make plan at the beginning is because I wanted to leave all the action on him, I want to see how he wants and will manage this ‘relationship’ with me. And the reason for me not making any plan after we are closer is because he is the kind of guy who never make plan, so i don’t want to disappoint myself by making plan for him to ruin it… funny but true you will see how the bull is a control freak and how you need to safe yourself from disappointment by leaving it to him: his plan, his time, his way…

    Sorry for such a long reply! LoL. I feel it already that things are going to be just fine for you. Keep us posted!

  790. #790 by Jess on December 10, 2009 - 12:16 pm

    baffledgirl,

    What kind of flirting he did? I’ll tell you at least my guy flirts! Not just flirt but gossip about girls body to me…

    They like to flirt. Taurus are very sensual and full of hormone… they need to release it hahaha. You have to allow them space for this side of their nature. Taurus men appreciate beautiful things including beautiful women. For them women are there for them to protect, to appreciate, to look at, smell at… that’s why they treat their gf like their belonging and will do everything in their power to protect, to appreciate their woman, but then it’s any other women, sometimes they can’t help but feel an urge to flirt. Many women find it disrespectful. Relate the bull with the force of nature, they can hardly resist it, so as long as it’s not out of the line and being harmless, I’m ok.

  791. #791 by saggi girl on December 10, 2009 - 3:53 pm

    yeah, it really depends on the type of flirt he did… i will tell you that my guy did not flirt in front of me but he looked at the pretty girls whenever they are passing by.. but he won’t allow me to look at the guys.. i was not very comfortable at the beginning… but right now, i even discussed with him about the pretty girls we saw together.. i guess it is just human’s nature and want to appreciate the beauty.. as long as he does not go out of the line, i am fine with it.. like Jess mentioned ” being harmless”..

  792. #792 by baffledgirl on December 10, 2009 - 4:16 pm

    Jess, Saggi girl.

    Yeah hes just flirting with some chick from myspace. I understand hes good looking so hes tempted to like flirt back with girls, and i understand that, but i just feel like a total joke to him. I feel like i’m just being played with. Like i said, i talked to him yesterday and i asked him if hes no longer interested in me, then he should let me know asap so i could go away. I said it seems like he likes other people so if thats the case then theres no point of me being in his life. He replied saying that i’m buggin out. Then i said if he doesnt feel the same about me like he did before then just tell me, and if the truth is that he doesnt feel the same then thats fine i’m just gonna go away and im not gonna stay around. He replied saying im a great girl and that he does like me. But WHY is he being like this….its like, i feel disrespected and a joke to him. If you truly liked someone, you wouldnt do something that i’ll find out about or read and know that i’ll be upset over it. I’m hurt. Like i said, i’m a cancer and this is like hurting me pretty bad. At this point, i’m not sure if i want to continue, i like him a lot but hes making me look and feel like a joke. ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

  793. #793 by saggi girl on December 10, 2009 - 5:27 pm

    i think right now it really depends on what kind of person you are and how much you can bear.. something does not bother me might be bothering you.. i know cancer woman are very sensitive and very soft hearted…when they love someone, they give it all… but when they are being hurt or felt being betrayed, they are going to go away no matter how hurt they are…

    how old is your taurus? is he very young?

  794. #794 by baffledgirl on December 10, 2009 - 7:34 pm

    Saggi girl.

    Yeah like i know he does like me because he loves how i am but it hurts me to know that it cant be just ME. Other girls have to be there. I feel soo hurt right now, i know it might not be a huge huge deal, but i feel like everything he said lost all their significance and values because hes saying one thing and doing another. And yes cancer women, when we get really hurt, no matter how much we like a person, we will go away and probably abandon the person. Right now im sooo close from telling him that im done but i still like him a lot.I just want to see how things will go. But, i feel like a fool and my feelings dont matter. But anyway, we’re both 19.

  795. #795 by saggi girl on December 10, 2009 - 9:28 pm

    yeah, i see.. well, you just need to do what your heart told you to do… sometimes, follow your instinct for decision… you both are very young..especially for a guy.. as they are mature slower than the girl for the same age…

    do not jump into conclusion too early and let it cool off for now.

  796. #796 by baffledgirl on December 10, 2009 - 9:45 pm

    saggi girl

    yeah, i’m just gonna be silent for a while. like i want him to contact me to show he cares, but right now i just feel like retrieving to my shell because im just really hurt. i feel played. and yes, i’ll just let things cool off for now.

  797. #797 by virgo10 on December 11, 2009 - 12:22 am

    okay, so i know these taurus men are all good looking and charming consequently a lot of girls will be after them…. i know they have loyal traits but how about if you’re just seeing each other? is it possible that they could be seeing other girls too?? or they solely one woman men even in the beginning stages??

    sometimes i just feel like my guy is keeping me by his side and waiting to see what else is out there just in case, you know leaving his options open.

  798. #798 by baffledgirl on December 11, 2009 - 12:42 am

    virgo10

    thats exactly how i feel. its like, my taurus guy likes me and tells me im the best but he flirts with other girls. and it HURTS me badly cause i too feel like hes keeping me by his side. sucks he has so much girls after him, i feel like i have to compete but i dont like that, he either likes me or he doesnt. when i mentioned yesterday that im gonna leave for good if he doesnt like me, he said no he does like me. its like he doesnt want to let me go, but his actions are hurting me.

  799. #799 by Jane on December 11, 2009 - 8:53 pm

    Jess

    Hi and thankyou once again Jess for your kind words. You always manage to say the right thing and just help so much!

    I relate very well to what you said about you dont flirt too much with your guy although he manages at some point to stir up something and pravoke you in to returning the favour! lol Well, yes excactly the same as me, i feel nervous when he flirts and yet he always manages to get me to respond to him, something i may think i wont do, BUT I DO IT ANYWAY!! LOL

    Also something that bothers me a little is he will ask me something like, ‘how would i cheer him up if he sad’ or if he came home from work tired, how would i make him feel better and wake him up’!! Well you can imagine the type of things i reply to him!! He always said he love my response as it kept him guessing and he likes it coz it me. Hee, hee, but if i ask him similar things he wont answer me!!!! I never ask him to reveal how he feels about me so I dont get why he does that, its like i say all the sexy, turn on things to him but he wont say them to me!! DONT GET IT! Has anything like that happened to you Jess, in the begining stages or even now?

    Thankyou Jess i will take your advice and as i am aware how these guys operate i wont suggest meeting up or making a plan, i know my guy just does not like that, as you say, his time and his way! You are right also when you say you dont want to get disappointed by making a plan and he ruin it, that has happened to me so many times thats why like you, i leave it to him, thank you for sharing with me how you leave things with him, i will just follow his lead and see how we go. So he’ll be here tomoro, i text him last night to ask if all still ok with the plan! He text less than a min later and said yes, baby i am looking forward to it!! SO WATCH THIS SPACE!!! WISH ME LUCK!! LOL

  800. #800 by virgo10 on December 11, 2009 - 10:13 pm

    JANE!

    Good luck tomorrow!! How exciting!! lol i’m so excited and happy for you! I’m sure it will be PERFECT, remember the way to the taurus heart is through their stomach ๐Ÿ™‚ oh and dont forget a massage lol

    see what i dont understand about these guys is that they make the plans but yet they are the ones to cancel out as well, they are always in power or they like to be…. thats something that really irritates me because its inconsiderate

    and yeah i’ve also gotten the friends talk, he was like what kind of friend are you and he kept repeating it lol just in case i didnt get the point the first time lol

    my taurus guy has yet to respond to me, its been 4 days, i am fine with it but i must admit i want to text him but perhaps i will wait till next week, hopefully he texts before. i just dont want him to think im desperate or clingy if i text him first but then i dont want him to think im over him, its a catch 22!!!!!

    good luck Jane and keep us posted!!!!

  801. #801 by Jane on December 11, 2009 - 11:25 pm

    Virgo 10

    Hi and thankyou for your good luck wishes, i do hope it goes well too!! I am soooo nervous! lol I hope you are right and it is PERFECT!! He most certainly loves his food so hopfully it will lead me to this mans heart eventually!!

    To answer your earlier question, if taurus is into you then they dont tend to stray, what i have heard on this site and others too is because of their strange and unique ways(why we love them!!) they can make you feel like they seeing someone else , i suppose some are cheaters but you have to study him, watch his pattern, they are not as complicated when you learn, i am still learning and its fun!! Just hope its worth it and we all get our TAURUS in the end!

    Yes these guys are the ones to make and break plans, nightmare, but they just have to be in control or at least think they are! If you can try and wait it out , it is hard i struggle at times coz i know how much these taurus need their space (i need space too) but sometimes its nice to check in with ‘Hi’ every now and again.Try not to worry to much i have learnt if they in to you, they will return, just in their own time and when they are ready!!
    Good luck to you.

  802. #802 by baffledgirl on December 12, 2009 - 12:39 am

    Jane (and everyone else)

    yeah you got it right when yuo said that these guys make you feel as if they’re seeing someone else. hence the reason why i asked him a couple days ago if hes seeing or likes someone else. But like i said, he said my assumption is wrong. i just cant help but feel like he is replacing me with someone else. my cancerian intuition and woman intuition is in high gears right now. like i said, i saw him flirting with a girl on myspace it just sucks to have to find out things like that. hurts. i havent spoken to him, i think he knows im upset with him. but im not sure whats in store these next couple days. he couldnt have picked a worse timing to do what he did. im *trying* to study for my final exams but i find myself crying randomly while studying because i just feel played. although he reassured me that im a great girl and that he likes me, i believe it, but his actions dont go with what he says. i just really need some support right now because i have no idea if we will last. it really hurts me to think that he could throw away all the times he spent like getting to know me. i dont want to jump to conclusions and but i hope im only overreacting and that he may be flirting with other girls, but in the end, im the one he likes most.

  803. #803 by Jane on December 13, 2009 - 12:08 am

    Hi Everyone

    Well me and my guy had wonderful dinner together. You are not going to believe what happened and i am soooo gutted!!

    Well when he arrived he looked so lovely, dressed up i thought wow, he has really made an effort and i did too!

    I commented on how nice he looked, he didnt say anything to me, We hugged and chatted oh forget to say he text before he came and appologised saying he going to be half hour late!!!
    We had dinner and he said how lovely the food was i even had him changing light bulbs for me as i couldnt reach lol

    He told me befor we ate that he going out with friends later, just few drinks, God, he never usually goes out and i thought so thats why he dressed up, its not for me!
    we started talking about ‘us’ well he started it and he firstly told me about his ex being back in touch recently (she had text him when we together one time that i know of) This is the girl who broke his heart and has basically ‘closed him down’ Anyway (please bare with me i have tears rolling down my face!) He said they where texting and she asked him if he seeing anyone, he said no ,she said she was but would he like to meet as friends, so they did i felt like i was going to be sick there and then, anyway they met, she stressed ‘friends only’ he said of course dont want any thing else.Few drinks and went home ,they went there seperate ways and she text when he got home and asked him why he didnt kiss her, he said to me that he couldnt believe she said that, then he said next day she text and said to him ‘dont contact me again’ He was laughing at this pont and said to me that it was her who contacted him first!! He said he has no feelings for her wotsoever. I am thinking he with her tonight, or is that what he wants me to think!!??
    OH MY GOD THIS IS HORRIBLE!
    I just dont know why he told me all that, did i really need to know!!?
    I kept thinking why didnt he tell me at the time, we talked about ‘us’ and how ‘full on’ he was in the begining and then did a 360 on me, he agreed and said he thought he wanted a relationship, thought he was ready’ (he not now). Why all the compliments, constant texts, asking where i am what i’m doing, and why the hell did he come tonight!! Dont get it.
    I really believed this guy was just scared and does want me in his future, how wrong i was!

    I suggested i need to think about moving on coz he basically told me he wants no relationship with me, he never said it but just felt like it. I then said how i could not be friends with him and meet someone else, it would feel like i was cheating on him,and i said also no guy would put up with me being friends with an ex! He said I COULDNT BELIEVE THIS…..’you wouldnt have to tell him’ I couldnt believe he said that, was it a test to see how i would respond!? Well my response was, ‘ i would have to tell him coz i wouldnt lie to him about anyone i would have to tell him we had dated’!! He didnt answer.He even mentioned a male friend i have and that i see him( i know he hates that)

    I just dont know what to do now, my friend thinks i should just call it a day, or stay friends with him and date other people, it is him who talked like we both going to be with other people!He musnt care for me like i honestly believed. I love him he knows it and he keeping me dangling, thats how i think now.
    Hope you all ok xx

  804. #804 by Jess on December 13, 2009 - 3:06 am

    Jane,

    First, wipe away those tears and calm down and please try not to get overwhelmed by those bullshit actions. I just finish reading your post and had to write you this, I’m sorry to say that none of those things he did or told you would make me feel sad or bad at all! If astrology got it right with Taurus men that they all share it more or less the same trait/same behavior, I kinda understand his way a bit because I have gone thru A LOT of things my guy did and said that hurts me, disappointe me, provoke me and many more. I’ll write you another one soon to explain from my experience with mine.

    Can you tell me a few things, how old is he may I know? Is he a kind of sarcastic people or like to make bad joke? Have you ever met any of his friends?

  805. #805 by baffledgirl on December 13, 2009 - 7:02 am

    Jane.

    OMG. That’s horrible. I can tell you right now, i’m very upset with my guy as well. i’m feeling soo played. i hate this so much. i have tears rolling down my face as well. i dont understand HOW on earth these guys could go 360 on us, its so unfair. im so sad. I hope things go well for us.

  806. #806 by Jane on December 13, 2009 - 10:10 am

    Jess

    Thankyou, i am so devestated. He plays little jokes and teases me in a playful way like how i say things coz we speak different, alittle. I have never met friends and he never mentions any just people from work and he just says ‘the guys; But he never does socialising, its never been his thing in all the time i’ve known him then last night all of a sudden he dressed up and going out!! I have met all his family, at a family gathering in the first month i new him, havnt seen anyone since. He is 44 years old.His last relationship lasted 3months and broke his heart, he told me he fell deep for her, my god he doesnt feel it for me. i have been here 7months and been loyal to him and he is giving me nothing,. I dont think he would care if i walked away (well i think he’d care a little) He would miss me feeding his ego!I feel so hurt.

    As i woke this morning there was a text from him thanking for a wonderful meal and that i am lovely and precious to him! How can he say that now, is that to keep me there still!!?

    I havnt replied, i dont know what to say. I dont know if i should tell him how hurt i feel. I know we are ‘friends but i feel like he has cheated on me especially as he telling me now(why now)?? and i am saying i cant move on coz i would feel disloyal to him! I feel like an idiot. Please tell me what you advise, is this all a game or is he playing me, testing me!!??
    I said to him, ‘you will know in your heart when you meet the right one coz you will be ready’ (me testing him) He agreed and said ‘Yeah i will’!!!!
    Thankyou Jess i appreciate your words so much. Everyone is so understanding.

  807. #807 by Jess on December 13, 2009 - 12:47 pm

    Jane,

    First of all, don’t worry about him dressing up nice not because he’s seeing you but he’s going out. You can’t put it that way. Take me for instance, I don’t normally go out so much so when I do I will make a whole day plan (or long night plan). If I knew I was going for a dinner party, I will try to arrange appointment with people or friends who always want to see me and I often end up meeting 2-3 groups of friends the same night! hahaha.

    Secondly, he told you about this ex who asked to keep in touch but went off on him when he didn’t kiss her. Jane, I’m sorry but I don’t see anything wrong of him from telling you this?! I would rather take it as a good sign. Its not often that men, especially Taurus would tell you about his past or his pain. Everybody has the past and you said his last ex is the one who broke his heart so bad. You should embrace his story with patient. I can’t say but may be it’s not something he goes on and tell just anyone about. I can’t tell you how many times I told my guy about my ex who broke my heart and wanting to get back. I told him and cried like mad… So he understands where I’m coming from.

    About him telling you that you can date other guys but not having to tell them about him. That makes sense (sorry I may sound insensitive but it’s true). Jane, remember one thing, Taurus is very practical sign (yeah I hate that sometimes) and your guy is not young one anymore that means he has been thru a lot enough to tell about life and reality. You can’t expect your ‘POTENTIAL DATE’ to be loyal, to set his heart and mind only on you. My guy told me before that he can be so much in love but something force him to protect himself and because he knows too much that relationship can stop anytime for any reason.

    Jane, I don’t think he’s playing game with you. I think he’s just being realistic and protecting himself. He likes you but is not working hard toward a relationship with you yet, instead letting it happens if it will happen. I say this because I have my venus in Taurus (Not sure you understand this but I just found out about it lately reading astrology) Venus reflects the way I love and I love like Taurus. I mean it’s easy to tell if I’m interested/attracted to you because I will stick around. But I won’t express my feelings nor work hard for a relationship with you, not until my feelings grow to the point that I realize it’s love. Jane, it took me 10 months to realize that I love my Taurus guy. It’s the perhaps the same for him because I first heard him saying love (more like slipping) was just couple months ago. Can you believe it’s been a year and we NEVER said ‘i love you’ to each other yet…

    Jane, you know my guy said to me many times something like ‘can you introduce me to your friend?’ or ‘when you have a bf, would you do this do that?’ ‘when you will move to your own place that is when you have a husband, oh i feel like losing you soon…” and many more… See how our conversation has always been interesting, provocative, hurtful, meaningful…. hahaha. But do you want to mind so much the conversation than the action? Wu get along very well with our conversation and we learned about each other so much from it, now I’m trying not to be emotional and blow off when he’s being nasty…. Really I don’t know what’s wrong with my guy when things are getting too sweet he just had to add some shit to stir up the some drama!

    Sorry for going off…, anyway when your guy said one thing but act the other, like when he said of not wanting relationship but stick around, or when telling you to go on date but getting upset. (warning: some bad guys can also use this trick as to get sex by telling you of not wanting a relationship as in just wanting sex, so you need give it time and see the real him). This is why I keep saying about looking into action. Although Taurus is well known about being straight forward but I believe when it’s a matter of heart, they hide it well and acting like a child.

    Jane, I’m not sure I make sense here, because i just woke up but still feel tired LOL. I try to organize my thought but i know i sound like a mess…. Anyway this whole concept can not be applied to every Taurus men and I can’t say that yours is worth waiting, it’s all up to you. But if you stay, try not telling him too much about how you feel. Don’t tell him how you are loyal to him. They are too smart and they will figure this out in no time.

  808. #808 by baffledgirl on December 13, 2009 - 5:33 pm

    Jane

    Wow i read your post, I feel EXACTLY the same way as you, especially when you said even though you are friends, you feel cheated on. Thats EXACTLY what i said to myself! My and my taurus arent dating, but after finding out about the girl hes been talking to, i feel sooo cheated and betrayed ๐Ÿ˜ฆ i know if i walked away, once he realizes he doesnt have a good girl anymore, i know hes going to regret it.

    Just an UPDATE:

    Ladies……I don’t think I can do it anymore. Last night i started really thinking…And im not happy anymore. Its like, we’re not committed to each other because we’re not dating, but, i feel like im into him more than he is into me. 3 days ago, we talked, i told him im going to go away if he doesnt care about me anymore or likes me. He was saying things like im a great girl and that he likes me, i guess that’s to keep me around, but i can’t stick around if hes going to continue talking to that girl. Theres no way im gonna stay while he pursues someone else. I think ive made up my mind….I think im going to give up on him. Im just waiting for him to contact me and when he does, i think thats when im gonna femininely tell him that i’m walking away. I just feel sad that he threw away the last 8 months that he spent pursuing me. Im just really unhappy. I like him a lot, but i feel like im losing him. So im gonna leave before i get left. It sucks,why is leaving a taurus such a hard thing to do?? Ive never had problems dropping guys, but my goodness, this taurus is hard to drop. But i think it would be best for me…Im truly saddened, but i guess we’re not meant to be. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  809. #809 by baffledgirl on December 13, 2009 - 5:44 pm

    Jess

    I read your reply to Jane. I really like how you explained that taurus guys say one thing and act another. Thats how my guy is…Espeically when you said that theyre not going to set their heart on you and just you. Thats how he is right now, I had him for the last 8 months. I knew i was the number one girl, thats why i didnt care that much about his flirting with other girls. i figured that was harmless flirting. but now, i just feel like im being replaced by the girl hes talking to. WHY is he keeping me around when it looks like hes pursuing her already? My taurus guy has said i love you to me but in cutesy ways. All the times he said them, he mentioned them first, not me. I just cant understand how hes trying to pursue another girl and still keeping me around…Do you think my decision of walking away will be best? Also, do you know how taurus guys act, feel, or think, once they lose someone they like/love? I know you said you love like a taurus,so im wondering how you would go about when someone you like/love decides to walk away from you to protect themselves even though they still like/love you. Sorry for all the qustions, its just, im really thinking of walking away from my taurus guy…

  810. #810 by Jane on December 13, 2009 - 6:42 pm

    Jess

    Thankyou so much. My concern is that he has told me all his past hurt before, i have been a good and understanding ear to him, so i feel hurt that because i know all this pain she did to him then why did he go and meet her!!??
    I am hurt that he only telling me now, and then i think why he telling me now!!? I know he cares for me, i know he is scared and i respect that but i am scared to, what if he is using me? I feel i want to tell him that i dont feel he should have met with her and not told me, Do you think i should? Then i think if he was seeing her or anything like that then i am sure he would not be so open to tell me. I feel confused. H e sent me lovely text this morning and i havnt replied, I feel like i cant just ignore all this although if it is right to do that then i will. I dont want him to think i dont care that he met her.

    I keep thinking if he encouraging me to move on then he musnt care? I dont know what you mean when you say they practical?!! Also when you said your last two lines what did you mean? Thankyou so much, i am thinking of calling him, he will be wondering why i havnt text him back.Dont know tho.
    I am actually thinking he didnt go out last night, i feel he wanted me to think that, he can be very childish. I know you have said before how it too early for status talk, i agree but i just wish i new if he sees me in his future, or if he is thinking he wants me to wait for him. I cant help but think, if i was the one for him then he would be ready rather than risk losing me to someone else!! My head is in a spin!!
    Thankyou Jess

  811. #811 by Jane on December 13, 2009 - 7:04 pm

    Jess

    sorry just wanted to add that you say pay attention to action not words, thats why i am upset, this girl crushed him and yet he went to meet her, he cant see me very much and i have never hurt him, but he make time for her!! Do you see what i mean?? I think he knows by his text he sent this morning that alot was said last night and he letting me know i am precious to him, that was what he said, oh and how lovely i am!!
    I wish he would show action with that!!

  812. #812 by Jane on December 13, 2009 - 7:13 pm

    Baffledgirl

    I am really sorry you are going through all this hurt too.

    I am not ignoring you, i just feel messed up at the moment and would like to be clearer to respond to you, i will do that later. Hope you are ok.

  813. #813 by baffledgirl on December 13, 2009 - 8:08 pm

    Jane

    Its no problem at at all. Yes I feel messed up as well. We are going through the same things…I just feel like I should probably move on, I just feel very hurt from him. Its amazing how these guys can reel us in and then turn 360 on us. I hope youre okay as well. Right now im super hurt mayve its best if i go away for good. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ It hurts me a lot. Keep us updated. We can get through this.

  814. #814 by virgo10 on December 13, 2009 - 11:38 pm

    Jane,
    I’m really sorry to hear what happened to you, i dont understand these guys, seriously. But you must also remember not to analyze so much, i know its hard because we are virgos but these guys seem to be rather complicated or at least try to be….

    I think I am about to give up on my taurus too… I mean I dont want to but I can’t excuse everything he does just because he is a taurus, perhaps the truth is that he’s just not that into me…. we will see what happens, but i am done chasing him. i don’t want to give up on him but i have to be realistic

  815. #815 by baffledgirl on December 14, 2009 - 8:45 am

    virgo10

    i definitely understand when you said you dont want to give up on him but you have be realistic. thats exactly how im feeling right now. i like my taurus but im so tired of the constant hot and cold. im about 90% sure im going to give up on him. its sad to have to end things, but its like, i have to do whats gonna be good for me.

  816. #816 by Jess on December 14, 2009 - 11:38 am

    baffledgirl,

    I can’t say if you should give up on him or not but if anything to do with being Taurus at all, I can tell you to expect such hot and cold treatment from them may be for the rest of your relationship…

    How do you know he replace you by other girl? From my experience so far if they are interested in you, they are not going to pursue any other, BUT that doesn’t mean they will stop working on their charm… and that doesn’t mean their focus is on you only. They will continue their life exactly like when they have not met you yet. Do you understand that Taurus won’t change their goal/focus/routine/habit just because someone or something is up or down. At this stage even they are wooing you, they are not setting you as their priority. They will chase you until they are sure they got you (and they know they will) then they will start to relax and treat back to their lazy ass habit… But you can rest assure that when their mind are free from work, the first thought of a woman will be you.

    Taurus get attracted to beautiful things easily, they are falling for nice thing, food, smell, sensual touching feelings. So it seems like they are playing women and are flirting, but they can’t help. But we must not mistake it with love, they will woo, pursue, chase you, feed you sweet words, but that is not love until they actually declare it to you. Taurus takes time with love, they don’t set their mind to love you, they will continue keeping in touch with you and let things/feelings appear to their face how they actually feel for you. So THEY WON’T WORK HARD ON YOU NOR THE RELATINSHIP UNTIL THEY REALIZE THEY ARE IN LOVE WITH YOU. And if they fall in love with you, you will know it because they will tell you with everything, by words, by actions. And that is how I love.

    What would I do if a person I love walk away from me? I first need to realize that person is the one I love otherwise I don’t really mind so much they want to leave or not… but once I realized it, I do everything in my power to keep him/her, I can’t afford losing the love I found so if I ever lose it, it took me like forever to love again. Taurus don’t fall in love easy but when they do they fall hard and deep.

  817. #817 by Jess on December 14, 2009 - 12:03 pm

    Jane,

    You said ‘………this girl crushed him and yet he went to meet her, he cant see me very much and i have never hurt him, but he make time for her!!’ Jane, I understand that would hurt your feeling to hear but try not to get upset with him for that because I think its irrelevant. Remember he told you his past and even how much you comfort him and suggest him, doesn’t mean he should follow and should tell you before meeting her. Your Q of why he went to meet her but choose to tell you now, I see it as making no point here. It doesn’t mean he like you more or less, or he wants her back again. It’s his business of people in his life who is come and gone and back and the memories they bring with them.

    But he choose to tell you, as the way he share story with you, I don’t think you should tell him about his business if he should or should not meet her. If you don’t want to know about her when he start telling you about it, you can cut the conversation short and just change the topic to something else, he will get it.

    I’m not sure I make sense to you and I didn’t mean to sound insensitive (sorry if I did) but I don’t see how he did to hurt you? I mean it’s understandable what he did and it makes sense. I suggest you to calm down and step back a bit to look from the outside.

    Oh when I said they are practical, I mean they are very realistic and being objective. It’s like you can talk any theory but Taurus only interested in what is practical, while you were talking analyzing the problems how it happens, They only interested in finding solutions. That’s why astrology said they go for materialistic than idealistic. They are all about what they can SEE, TOUCH, TASTE, SMELL, HEAR.

    Anyway Jane, I think you care too much for him, like you don’t want him to feel bad if you don’t reply his text. You don’t want to do thing that you know he would not like it. But you know you must think and care for your own feelings first.

  818. #818 by Jess on December 14, 2009 - 12:50 pm

    I feel like having fever now… sorry girls if i sound jaded or strange today, I have not been feeling well the past week and now it starts to show: soar throat, sneezing and headache, got to get some medicine and get some rest now.

    Take care everyone and please don’t think too much.

  819. #819 by leo5 on December 14, 2009 - 2:12 pm

    i’ve been reading these posts…i dated a taurus man for 4 mo. i’m a leo woman. i was the one who initiated the relationship. after the first time we hung out, he came on pretty strong, we became exclusive almost immediately…after a few weeks he told me he was in love w me. i didn’t say it back since i was hesitant to become involved w someone. i have a few trust issues…i thought about it for about a week & decided i felt the same for him & told him. we had a “discussion” or two when he had done something i didn’t like. i was under the impression that i was communicating. he never mentioned anything i was doing that upset him, yes, i asked. so, things continue on…him telling me that i’m “part of the family”, talking kids in the future (we’re both in our 30’s), telling me how great he thinks i am, meeting many family members. at this point, i’m all in this venture. now, i’m in love and when i go there, it’s for keeps. then one night about a month ago, we have a minor squabble & he says to me-i need to be alone right now, i love you but not in love w you anymore, i’m scared, my head’s mixed up, i’m not attracted to you anymore, scared of my temper & many other confusing things and BAM. it’s over. he walked out on me. i asked him why he lied about all the love shit and was told he meant everything he said when it was said. i asked him if we could work things out and was told that he didn’t see himself changing his mind about this right now. WTF!?!?! haven’t heard from him in 3 wks & will NOT call him. i have NEVER been more confused in my life…..what gives with the taurus man?????

  820. #820 by baffledgirl on December 14, 2009 - 8:17 pm

    Jess

    THank you so much for your response and answering my questions. Yeah i was SO close from contacting him and completely breaking it off with him telling him that im done with everything. I just feel like hes replacing me because i can see on his myspace bulletins talking about the girl hes talking to. I got upset at him and told him that thats why i want to know if he likes me or not, and when i checked my myspace the next day, i saw he deleted the bulletin about her. I havent talked to him in 4 days. Right now, as much as i loved your response and understand that taurus wont make you their #1 priority, i think it would be best for me to temporarily give up. Im just gonna walk away UNTIL he realizes that he lost me. And if my feelings are still present by the time he realizes he messed it up, then maybe i will give him another chance. Right now, i dont want to be around while he pursues another girl. Its such a low blow to my dignity. Its like, he likes her but he doesn want to let me go because he knows im the best girl for him, its just the distance that stops us. He told me before im the best for him but that was a couple months ago. I think he thinks that im always going to be around no mater how much he has messed up. He knows he has me and my feelings are genuine for him thats why hes slacking off on wooing me. But yeah, ive given it a lot of thought, and i think it would be best for my own personal happiness to walk away. Im not going to try to sound boastful or conceited but he knows im the best, because he even said so himself that im intelligent and beautiful and im going far in life. I hope he realizes he messed up and hopefully when he realizes this, it will not be too late. As a cancer, when we love, we REALLY love. When things shift, we try to cling, cling, cling even when we’re hurt, then when things continue to stay the same and not get better, sometimes, its like, we wake up one day and tell ourselves we’re done and we need to abandon the person. Im over the cling stage, im now towards the abandonment stage. Im hurt by him and i like him but i think in order for him to realize that im really the one he likes, i need to be gone and not be always around when its conveniet for him. Ill keep posting things on here and see where this goes. I have NEVER been in this situation. Ive always been able to drop guys quickly. But with a taurus, wow, its really hard.

  821. #821 by Jane on December 14, 2009 - 9:07 pm

    Jess

    Hi Jess,well first things first,i am so sorry you are not feeling too well, and there you are helping all us damsals in distress!! You really are very special and your taurus guy very lucky to have you, especially as you understand him so well. I appreciate your help very much.

    I took everything on board what you said to me in your posts and as i read it i sense how calm it makes me and i see it and begin to understand it differently!!
    I overanylise EVERYTHING!! I know i shouldnt, but i do.
    I know these guys are different in the way they do things and i know in my heart i want to fully understand for the both of us.

    So, when i said yday that i hadnt replied to his text, well last night i typed a very long email (not to send just to release out of my head lol) then having thought all about the situation and how my guy is and how i am begining to understand him (now that i found this site with you and the other ladies!)i text him this a.m i apologised for not replying to him(he will do that to me so it felt right to do that) and i said my reason was i spent time thinking about all he said to me as it very important to me that i understood him and i said i hoped he was ok.
    He text me back a message saying ‘he is fine and i dont need to worry’ then he sent (10mins later) another text saying how special and precious i am to him and then said some really nice things about what he thinks of me, i was really pleased that i text him.

    Jess what iwant to say is your perspective on things in invaluable to me, yes of course not all guys are the same and anything you say i adapt to my guy and how he is with me but being here is helping me to understand the guy i believe is my soul mate (dramatic but true lol) before if this situation had arisen i would have handled things differently am sure with little understanding of these taurus men! I would take things personal and i always remember on here said many times that a taurus would not stick around if he not interested and i remember you saying, he just needs time to figure what plan he sees with you!!

    I do wonder tho how he can fall in love with me when we see very little of eachother? How is he likely to realise his feelings by phone and text contact!? Or is that type of contact likely to change when he realises he wants more?

    So once again thankyou, its a slow prossess but i am learning!! Its like a full time job! LOL. I do feel insecure at times and you are right i do have to look after me first. Thankyou my friend (i hope for your speedy recovery and you feel much better soon take care Jess

  822. #822 by Jane on December 14, 2009 - 9:53 pm

    Baffledgirl

    Hi i hope you are ok, i must admit you sound ‘calm’ in your post and i am guessing with all the hurt you have been feeling you have took hold of yourself ,realised your worth and what you feel you need to do for now. Whatever happens from now, you are being strong (i know you may not feel very strong inside) But you are doing what you see right for you. You said yourself, this guy knows your worth he said it to you, therefore if he wants you before it too late then he can contact you when he sees himself. I related to what you said with how you love deep, and clingy I love deep once i get the ‘green light’ i dont so much get clingy but ‘cling on’ to what i want. That is why my situation was a shock to me at first when my guy backed off coz he gave me ‘green light’ then turned it to ‘red light very quickly! I am wanting to understand and overlook things as i am getting to understand better. You just like us all have to do what our heart is telling us! Take care and keep us posted Baffledgirl

  823. #823 by virgo10 on December 15, 2009 - 12:31 am

    Jane,
    you raise a good point of how he can like you if he hardly sees you, is it all through text and calling?? i thought if you really like the person you want to in fact see more of them not the opposite…. how has your relationship with your taurus worked? do you guys text/talk to each other every day?? who is the one who initiates it first?
    i said i was going to wait to contact my taurus but i caved in on saturday and it just felt like i was pulling teeth, perhaps he was having a bad day but i got the feeling he didnt want to talk to me. so now im just seeing if he contacts me sometime this week… if not i will move on but i mean we’ve been talking for 3 months, is it possible that hes no longer interested and has moved on?? ughhh its really frusturating. he even told me in the beginning that if he’s not interested in a girl he will tell her in the beginning that its not going to work, so i can expect him to be straight honest with me right??? but like you i overanalyze and on saturday it was just like WTF…..

    jess, hope you get better!! you have to because you are the taurus guru for all of us!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  824. #824 by baffledgirl on December 15, 2009 - 12:37 am

    Jane

    Yes i’m calm. However, when i first started seeing the myspace bulletins i was absolutely crushed. I felt so betrayed and cheated on even though we arent together). Yes he knows my worth, he has mentioned thats what he loves about me the most, the way i am cause im a driven young lady, going in the right direction. I agree with that because i am like that. I think he did meant everything he told me but the distance is what hinders our relationship and all the girls who get attracted to him. Im just devastated that hes slipping away from me, however, as mentioned, he knows im a good girl and he likes me but unfortunately not enough to be committed to only me. I understand in a way, but i just wish he would tell me straight up what he wants to happen between us instead of just leaving me hanging. Right now, i dont even expect any contact from him. But i think the next time he contacts me, i might tell him im going to go away for good. Maybe we will we cross each other’s paths in the future. But who knows. Right now im having a hard time deciding whether i should just cut commincations off without explaining things because he is crushing on someone else. Or if i should tell him my feelings and then just cut off communication.
    It really sucks how these guys are very hot and cold.

  825. #825 by Jess on December 15, 2009 - 4:11 pm

    Jane, baffledgirl, virgo10,

    Thank you very much for your concern, turn out I catch a cold with sore throat and runny nose but no fever now.

    I’m no guru but I believe it’s all about attitude. You need to set your mind on yourself, focus on yourself first that YOU want to be happy. Your happiness is not depend on any guy regardless of sign. These Taurus men came along to make your life become colorful not meaningful, therefore you do your best and if they don’t appreciate it, never mind them.

    Believe me, I’m not in any better situation than any of you. I still NEVER talked on the phone with him and NEVER have visited his place even once! There are red flags in my relationship too. But I take time and enjoy thing as it comes. There are too many times he did or said thing that hurt me, I try to be realistic but if it’s too much I told him and see his reaction, many times his reaction was even worse and blame it on me but he never leave my side and stick around, so that must mean something.

    Ladies, the power is within you, use it wise. You can love and care for any guys but never more than you do to yourself.

    Happy December!

  826. #826 by baffledgirl on December 15, 2009 - 8:51 pm

    Jess

    You are amazing! I love what you said. You are absolutely right. To be honest, I feel like I’ve been a pushover with my taurus. Always giving him chances every time he lets me down. But my new found confidence in myself to focus on myself is making me stronger.

    UPDATE:
    My taurus contacted me last night through texting and i didn’t text him back because i wasnt ready to talk to him yet. Then this morning at 7am he texted me again. I decided to text him back about 2 or 3 hours later. We had small talk, i was being brief because i didnt feel like being sweet. Usually i call him by cute or sweet names like baby or babe or sweetheart, but i just called him by his name. he was being sweet to me. Im not falling for his words too much though like before. I am ABSOLUTELY confused, why is he posting bulletins about that girl on myspace, and STILL keeps in touch with me? i havent been making any effort at all to initiate any contact with him. And as i mentioned, i ignored his text last night and he knows something is up because i ALWAYS reply to him. But last night, i did not. Probably why he texted me this at 7am. And WOW, as i type what i’m typing, i just received another text from him….Why is it hes doing that…posting bulletins about that girl and still keeping in touch with me?? My plan before was to wait for him to contact me and when he does, i would tell him about me wanting to walk away. But like i said, i havent brought that subject up because im trying to see WHY hes holding onto me when hes posting bulletins about that one girl. Its like, now that im being distant, hes coming back…
    I would to hear you ladies’ opinions, especially you Jess.

  827. #827 by baffledgirl on December 15, 2009 - 8:57 pm

    P.S.

    I forgot to mention, when we were texting back and forth earlier this morning, he was telling me he likes how i have a good head on my shoulders because we were talking about my school and such, and then i asked what makes him like hat trait, he said because he wants a good thing like that and he likes having someone be there for him who has that trait. Not sure if thats an important info, but i just feel like thats why he likes me but the posting of those bulletins just shattered me and my trust for him….

  828. #828 by saggi girl on December 15, 2009 - 9:25 pm

    Jane,

    i am sorry that there were some dramas going on that day… but i am not surprised as it was always some dramas whenever we were with the bull… as they are the pain in the ass…LOL

    i agree with Jess.. think about what you wanted for yourself… you love this man.. don’t you? then go get him.. no matter what it takes.. i went through a lot with my bull.. but i kept telling myself that i love him and i want him and i want to get him.. as long as i know he is truthful with me and telling me the truth.. then i will do my part to get him…even swallow some bitterness on my own.. as i am doing this for myself not for him.. as i want him..
    something bad about our situation is that inevitably we all have past…. we are more easily to let things go than the bull are willing to do… as they do not love easily but when they do, it is forever.. that is what my bull told me long time ago even when we started dating..

    i still can sense his regret for his past from my bull sometimes when we talked over our past, i think the good thing is that he shared his thought with me instead of bottling up on his own. i don’t think that it is a bad thing that he shared with you about his ex that he reconnected recently.. what if he did not tell you, you would not have known either.. believe me, if they want to hide, there is no way you are going to find out..

    as for he is not ready for a relationship… I think it is the truth.. you can not force him into something that he is not ready for… i did once with my bull after i broke up with him and dated on a undefined term for a year… then i asked if we could be back together… he kind of hesitant but said nothing.. then i took it as a yes… then we stayed together for a day but he was doing a lot of thinking and sometimes he was jus staring at me or staring at the ceiling… then at the end of the day.. he told me that he was not ready for a relationship… then he backed off… i was so miserable on that day when he told me all of that..i felt like that i was a fool.. got dumped without any respect…so i told him that i am going to leave as i can not take it.. then he left my apartment and called me an hour later and cried over the phone asking me if i wanna go for a walk as he is still in my neighbourhood… well, the story is on and on… but my point is that if you really love him.. give him the time that he needed to get ready for a relationship… right now, he told me that he was ready… and no longer backed off..

    i think if he stays with you, it means that he likes you.. but it does not mean he is ready for a commitment… it really depends on you to stay or not.. as i tried to leave but it is so hard and i dated someone else during our break.. but it just seems that he was always in my heart… and i always forgave him when he hurts me..

    right now, we are still having problems here and there but we are stronger.. he told me that he just took the fight as a fight as all the couples fight, he does not think very bad of me or want to leave because of the fight… i think we are stronger.. and i learned to be patient.

    jane, give him some time and give yourself some time.

  829. #829 by Jane on December 15, 2009 - 10:34 pm

    Virgo10

    Hi, yes i am wondering that still! In the 7months i have known him we speak on the phone more than most on here from what i can gather hearing peoples stories. In the begining it would be him calling me 2/3 times a day sometimes, then it slowed down to maybe every other day, usually him tho. But since we have been ‘friends’ i have called him twice i think and one of those times he didnt answer!! Now i leave it to him. When we talk on the phone we can chat for hour or more sometimes less but he not a big fan of the phone.

    What i have realised is, let him lead, initiate, he likes to be in control thats why sometimes they dont answer they dont want to be seen as overinterested! Yes i know its mad, but true. I have learnt not to over react anymore like if he didnt answer i dont mention it and neither does he, it works coz he in touch more, before i would question him, why didnt you answer? and take it personal and its only through being on here and listening to all these ladies stories that i am learning ‘how to be’ with these guys and that is not personal, just their way (and they wont change for anyone!!)

    I thought like you and still do to a point that if you like someone then you want to spend as much time as poss with that person but as Jess has said to me in earlier posts and i am realising, it is different for taurus, they are practical and to them they have to ‘feel it’ to know when they want to persue you until then they just carry on same way,same routine (which they love!) as before until they ready. I guess thats why i am wondering how he can fall in love if we dont see eachother much!! He is in touch mostly everyday by text or at least everyother day, never leaves it more than 2 days (unless something happens that he needs to anylise/think about things) i know when he needs that space and i respect that and then it may be 3 days! Its like i said, these guys are like full time job! LOL

    I am less upset coz i am learning to understand. I mean yes, i still have questions and at times feel insecure (as my recent posts prove) but i feel like i am getting closer to him coz i am feeling better inside me also.

    It is hard so i understand you overanylising things, i am an expert at overanylising everything! lol But you may like to do what i have done, if you really think this guy is worth it then, study him coz he will be studying you and testing you (my guy does) Always be yourself, no point otherwise.You have contacted him now so leave it to him, he will know if he was off with you and he will know that you sensed it so let him come to you, it is hard but as he sees you respecting his need for space if you are on his mind then he will be back, just in his own time. I am learning patience believe me!!LOL We are all here supporting eachother and sharing our experiences. Good luck and keep us posted.

  830. #830 by Jane on December 16, 2009 - 12:17 am

    Saggi girl

    Hi i have missed you!!!, i wondered where you where even tho it only a few days! lol
    I hope you are ok.

    Yes you are right i do love him, i am and will do whatever it takes for me to do all i can to get him eventually!! You are right that your bull and mine share their experience with us, i am grateful about that and i agree now that i have listened to Jess and now you that the main thing is he is ‘sharing with me’ he didnt have to and i would not have known, very true. Thankyou for pointing that out!! LOL ( imean that)I am at times insecure, vulnerable and do overanylise and a big thing for me and me being VIRGO is i am a perfectionist! Saggi girl you are right also when you say i cant force a relationship with him, but neither would i ever want to do that. I do wonder tho (virgo 10 also) how can he fall in love with me when we hardly see eachother!!? What do you think about that? I am happy to keep going as i am and at his pace but as i leave all initiation up to him, i will still be here aged 65 wondering when he going to fall for me! LOL (well i hope thats not true!!!)

    What do you mean you dated on a undifined term?
    I understand things must happen naturally for anything to work and as you say, he is always in your heart, you have had some tough times and i have learnt so much from your experience and i thankyou for your advice to give eachother time, you are right and i am trying my best to do that and what is real nice to hear is ,by your last comments, you are both (like any couple would) you have problems, but you are both aware of them, learning about how eachother deals with it and ‘sees’ eachother along the way, that has got to be a good thing saggi girl eh!! Thankyou i am glad you are back!

  831. #831 by Jess on December 16, 2009 - 12:30 am

    leo5,

    Hi, that must be terrible what you are going through now! I can’t imagine how Taurus guy can tell you love and invite you in his family and friends within 4 months then break it off… There must be something going on with him now, that sounds confused of his action. Are you sure he was not involved with other girl before you get together or you were not there as rebound girl when you met him? He mentioned something about temper…. may be he has issue about it? 3 weeks no news from him at all???!!! That was terrible! during the 3 weeks you didn’t try to contact him? May be you want to try giving him a call or a text to see if something was wrong.

    Hope everything will be alright with you.

  832. #832 by Jane on December 16, 2009 - 1:19 am

    jess

    Here you are unaware of how valuable your input is!! Yes you are right you are here same as us, you are learning and going through stuff just the same as we are, you explain things very well and there is a genuine care that is noted especially by me anyway. You have a unique way of explaining things,straight and honest and your experience very well,that is true and i am sure everyone here agrees with me.
    I certainly look forward to what you have to say ( i hope you dont feel pressured to respond Jess, ever )
    You are very practical too in the way you explain your stuff, but you genuinly care for how people are dealing with things and i know we all do that and we are all here to support eachother and everyones indervidual experience is a benefit to us all i am sure.
    I am glad your fever has gone and you are on the mend! Thanks Jess

  833. #833 by Jane on December 16, 2009 - 1:31 am

    Jess

    i like that you do not gloss over your situation and you very honest, it stands out ,thankyou

    Oh i was wondering does anyone have trouble writing these posts!!?? It takes me nearly an hour to print 20lines!!!!! What am i doing wrong!!! OOOPS!!

  834. #834 by Jane on December 16, 2009 - 9:34 am

    Leo5

    I was sorry to read your post and hear what this guy has put you through, it doesnt make sense why he would do that! He sounds very mixed up. I do hope you are ok as from what you said it took alot for you to trust him and believe him and it seems when you returned feelings to him he does a 360!! I mean these guys are just so famous for doing that! Its like they like to test the water and check things out with at times disregaurd for anyone else.

    I agree with Jess that maybe something is going on with him, would you not concider calling him!? Or a message as you dont know for sure if anything is wrong, he may just appreciate the contact from you.
    I realise you probably feeling angry and hurt but as it stands you in limbo not knowing anything. Of course you know him and you have to do what is right for you. I wish you luck in what you decide. Keep us posted

  835. #835 by saggi girl on December 16, 2009 - 4:12 pm

    HI Jane,

    yeah, i am back…

    I am glad that hear that you are ok.. i am the same… over analyzing things… deeply thinking about what he said, which sometimes means nothing…. i guess it is because we cared too much…

    to answer your questions:

    undefined term: that is a long story.. but i will make it short.. we talked over the phone for a month before he finally asked me out on a date ( actually he got my phone number while i was walking on the street…but took a month for him to ask me out.. can you believe it?), then we went for a few dates.. at the begining it is kind of going out more frequently than later.. he kissed me on the second date but i never slept with him until i asked him to define the term..( i know it is kind of manipulating..LOL).. then he did…so i slept with him. but the next day.. he asked if we are boyfriend and girlfriend as i did not answer him on the night when i slept with him.. then i was like” yeah.” then he asked me why i did not answer him when he wanted to define the term.. i was like” of course i answered… as i slept with you… that is the answer. i won’t do that if you are not my boyfriend.. .” then he was like” Ok…”. but i can tell when he asked me to be his girlfriend… it is kind of a pressure from me and he wants to sleep with me.. LOL… he was not voluntarily to do that… so i do not think his emotion level was up for that yet.. but for some reason he defined the term and also at the same time asked if i will be ok if things did not work out.. but i broke up with him 2 months later.. as i did not get what i thought the boyfriend was supposed to give..as i wanted more and more but he was ready to give.. then i created a lot of drama.. if he did not call, i got mad; if he was late, i got mad; if he did not pay for the bill, i got mad; if he turned his phone off, i got mad.. if he said something insensitive..i got mad..the list can go on and on…i always told him that i wanted out.. but he always forgave me for saying that..so there is a time after the i said the same thing, he told me that he was tired and felt drained..and said that if i decided to go seperate way.. make sure that I meant it and then we made sure that we are not gonna be back together again…
    so when i said one more time ( actually i texted him to break up with him as i got emotional and missed him so much after a day spending time together)..he asked if i could be friend with him..i said” no.” then he said that he could give me a few days to consider to be friend and he said that he just wanted to be friend… that is it..( but actually i regret it after i broke up with him as i did not mean it.. that is always my problem. i was too emotional). so i finally told him that i do not want to be friend as i still have feeling for him.. then he said that he will respect that if i meant it to be this way.. but told me that he will email me or text me his new phone number if he ever changed it in the future. and wished me luck.. that was very painful for me as i bite my own tongue..if you know what i meant by this.. so i asked him if we could meet for the last time to break up in person( i know it is crazy and immature).. but he told me that it will be more pain for nothing…

    then we went our seperate ways after that.. he never called after that.. that was the longest week that we did not talk to each other… then i went out dating some other guys trying to forget him but i failed.. and i also knew that he is not gonna take me back and call me anymore like he did before.. but i missed him too much.. then i finally called him and he answered.. he sounds very calm over the phone.. so the conversation was just on a polite level.. he told me that he was doing ok and was glad that i was doing fine too.. but i teased him a little bit over the phone and we agreed to stay in touch as a friend, only as a friend..
    a few days after… that was valentines’ day.. i did not call him as i know we are just friend..but he called me during the night and left me a message that he was thinking about me and wanted to wish me a happy valentines’ day..then i called him back and told him that i went out with my girlfriend to celebrate but i lied as i do not want him to pity me..
    then he called me again at night after a few days and asked if i wanted to meet as he was in my neighbourhood.. then i met him at the bar we normally went to.. that was the first time seeing him after the break up… during the dinner, he was asking me if i was seeing someone else..and teased me who is the one that i dumped him for.. then he touched my face when i was eating my food.. then we left and he was driving me home…. then he kept asking me why i broke up with him… then i told him that i lost myself when i was with him…it was painful.. then he was like” ok.. could you sit on my lap.” then i did and he looked at me and kissed me… he looked confused and asked if i could care about him but at the same time hold myself together.? then i asked him what he meant by that.. he said” nothing.” then he asked if he could call during the weekend but he never did..
    after that, we actually still go out and the contact was back in route little by little… but never define what we are to each other.. we are just dating on a friend level.. that is what i meant on undefined term.. as i do not know what i was to him..i asked to get back together but he refused to as he said that he only wants to get back together when things are stable..
    Jane, I know that is a long story…..but my point is to tell you not to be too emotional when you deals with the bull..my story proves that..i almost lost him forever if i continued to be intensively emotional like i did before…I think that if you want to be with him in a long run.. you have to be less emotional…
    to answer you another question: we do not see each other very often.. we normally see each other once a week.. but before we sometimes see each other every other week..it is normally i asked to see him.. he will be like” i am not sure.. i will see.” but right now, we are on a routine to see each other every weekend.. if he can not see me on sunday, he will make sure that he sees me on saturday… i think with bull, they are more eager to see you at the beginning as the strong physical attraction level.. but when things cool off a little bit. they are more focus on how you two getting along… if you are getting along very well.. he will want to be around you more… but it seems to me that the bull is not like some other guys from other signs.. as i asked how often he saw his wife when they were dating.. he told me that they only see each other during the weekend… i guess that might be their ways of doing things.. it might not be that they are not interested in seeing you…

    sorry for this long story… well, got a little bit carried away… LOL

  836. #836 by Ariesgal on December 17, 2009 - 5:16 am

    Hello all!!

    Just want to start off by saying that I am really thankful for staying up this late hour and reading through all your different experiences with the Taurus man/ with men in general.

    I have been trawling through different sites for days to try and figure out this Taurus man that I am currently interested in. I’ve usually been attracted to the more extroverted Aquarius or Sag or Libra so this is a new experience for me.

    I am really attracted to a guy in work who I have recently started “talking” to. As many of you ladies have pointed out, Taureans move slowly. I noticed this guy from the moment I started working in my current job but in the beginning only saw him as that good looking guy behind the bar, as I was preoccuppied with a disastrous relationship I was having with a Saggitarian.

    End of September start of October, I notice that he was noticing me. Just the typical kind of things like smiling at me, staring, saying hello etc etc etc. Thats literally all its been since then till about three weeks ago, when after a while of me approaching him, he starts talking to me. Since then it’s been pretty nice, with him approaching me and me seeing more of his playful side. I’ve even been promised a gift back from his trip home to Slovakia. I have been really get that gut instinct that I’m on the right track with this guy.

    He’s typically what you have all been describing your guys to be. He’s very shy, quiet, a man of few words and is very modest. When he’s larking about with his mates and joking he is definitely put on this show of being cocky but you can see its all in jest. He’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever been in contact with. Very striking, lively eyes which seems to be characterisitc to a Taurus. But I can already sense his moody disposition. Some day he’ll be fairly open and the next he’ll not meet your eye and just kind of saunter off and do whatever he’s doing without as much as a gruff. I’ve found it kind of endearing and just let it go.

    Very mysterious with lots of women interested in him. He’s very unassuming about the whole thing which just adds to the attraction.

    My strategey so far has been to let him come to me. I know he was involved with a girl in work who chased him (I witnesed an occassion where she was outrageously flirty with him). I’ve just gotten out of a tumultous relationship so the last thing I want is to start chasing up another guy/ relationship but I am getting slightly impaitient with how slow this guy moves. I can’t help it, I’m an Aries! But my gut tells me he’s interested in me. I can see it in his eyes and just kind of feel it.

    At the moment, it’s a bit at a stand still. Someone in work, who I has asked for information on his relationship status teased him about catching us talking in the break room the other day and man, did he clam up on me. Today in work, he was annoyed about something that wasn’t done right and he just “bulled” around the place and he didn’t even look at me. I, being a typical Aries, took offence and I know made it quite obvious that I wasn’t very impressed.

    So this, dear ladies, is the point I’m getting to. Why I am thankful that I found you. I, initially, took his cold shoulder personally, and stomped off when I tried to talk to him but your advice, I think, is the thing I knew deep down. THe next move. Give the guy a wide berth. Back off( as we’re doing nothing but flirting) and see if he comes back. Act like I haven’t taken his actions-which are not premeditated to hurt anyone- personally and remain laxy daisy. I’ve been pretty laid back or should I say preoccuppied up till now with Sag, so I know that this Taurus guy is now getting my full attention. But the key, it seems, it reign my Arian ways in a little and try and keep a cool head. Never easy but it’s a mistake I’ve made time and time again and for some reason, even after only a short time of getting to know this guy, I know that if I can reign myself in and just see what the story is, that it will all pay off (if its meant to work).

    I’ve sought advice from a Taurus male friend of mine and he seems to be giving similar advice as Cloud 9 for example. He said that he would be moritifed if he was questioned by an outside party about his interest in a female. Something to do with people starting to notice his feelings(which seems to be a hard pill for Taureans to swallow).

    My grandad was a Taurus and although he could be cantankarous in his moments, he was/ still is one of my favourite people in the whole entire world. He was love to me.

    Like a friend of mine said to me ‘Well hunny, it seems, with this guy, it’s all about the waiting game” but she was quick to follow that it could be worth the wait because he’s just lovely. Evryone adores him.

    anyways sorry for rambling on but I just want to say thanks and I’ll update if anything does come about( or if I do get a surprise from Slovakia!)

  837. #837 by virgo10 on December 18, 2009 - 3:25 am

    hey ariesgal,

    welcome to the club!! i’m sure you have caught up with everything that the taurus entails….goodluck!!!!!!!! lol i hope you get a gift from him, we all know they love to give presents….

    so my situation hasn’t improved much lol i still havnt heard from him…its been 5 days which is cool, im keeping busy but part of me is wondering if he will ever get in touch with me, i dont want to send him a text as i initiated the last one….this has been the longest that we havnt spoken, but i will still be patient but i cant stop thinking about him….i’ve been seeing him for 3 months, is it possible for him just to forget about me just like that????

    have an awesome weekend everyoneeeeeee ๐Ÿ™‚

  838. #838 by Jane on December 18, 2009 - 10:58 am

    Saggi girl

    Hi and a BIG thankyou for your wonderful response to me.
    I was interested to hear how you spoke for a month on the phone first before he asked you out!!! I take it he very shy! Er actually, i dont think he shy especially as he got your number as you walked on the street! Hee hee!

    It sounds like for the first month, chatting on the phone,getting to know eachother that way was important to him first, at the time it must of seemed like’my god is this guy ever going to make a move’!!! LOL (there was the start of the BULL pace!!) Its intresting too how the back and forth with words like ‘what is this? ‘are we dating’? kinda status talk makes me think about my situation coz looking back mine was very different! We basically talked one day, met few days later 1st date was a disaster!!) He pleaded with me to see him again coz i was just put off! I wondered why he wanted to meet again coz i thought he would feel the same,anyway cut along story short, 2nd date was FANTASTIC! LOL and so romantic.
    When you say in the begining how mad about things you got , i did exactly the same, got mad everytime, i broke up with him twice, emotional drama ect! the first time he begged me not to, i layed some ground rules down!!(dont know how i thought i would get away with that LOL) anyway back and forth then the second time we went 2weeks without any contact(the longest we have ever gone) I contacted him first! Missed him so much and he was so glad to hear from me. It is so true what you say about not too emotional, i too nearly lost him for my emotional outbursts, i am an emotional person and i have learnt it ok wih him to be emotional in a controlled ladylike way without the drama!!!

    Looking back now i realise why he wanted us to be friends coz he probably saw me as unstable, wanting him not wanting him!just had no clue about his behaviour and took everything so personal ,hence the ‘outbursts!
    My guy must be doing what your guy did, ‘waiting for the stability’ i do get that.
    So now you see eachother every week, Are you still dating as friends? Or has he gave you ‘Girlfriend ‘ status back! (what are these guys like!!)

    What i have noticed and i hope i am feeling this right, since our meal , i have felt closer to him, sounds crazy as i havnt saw him but by text, he seems different somhow. I have just he text me this am to say he off today and that he wanted to let me know and told me what he is going to be doing, i text him back with lovely words as i do and as he does, he likes that, then i text and said it would be nice to meet before the new year if our crazy busy scheduals allow it, he text and said he would love to and to leave it with him!! So i am now hoping that happens, He texts back within minutes or he has been since last week, yes i do anylise and might just be coincidence and wishful thinking on my part!!
    So Saggi girl you have well and truly experienced an up and down experience with your bull, so like Jess you are understanding him very well(that earns points too) It has only been 7months for me but do feel things slowly changing! Just hope we get there in the end!
    I must apologise now to you for my post being soooo long, i got carried away too!! Thanks Saggi girl really do value your imput.

    QUESTION: It has just taken me 3hours 10minutes to print that! I type fast but it prints one letter every 2seconds!! OMG! What am idoing wrong!? Any ideas!?

  839. #839 by Jess on December 18, 2009 - 1:31 pm

    Jane,

    Thank you so much for such a lovely and encouraging words of you!!! I have been really sick this week and not able to catch up with the rest of you, but hope everyone is doing alright. Tomorrow my Tguy is coming from business trip and we will be spending weekend together at some nice hotel suite (according to him…) I feel bummer again as it always happens to be a bad timing for me! I really hope it’s not going to be a rush this time and really really hope that we can have more time to just sit and talk, lay down and sleep as I really need to rest now…crazy December!

    Oh Jane, I have no problem loading or typing the page, everything works just fine (but yeah the page getting longer and longer and i hope the blog owner wouldn’t mind…)

  840. #840 by Jess on December 18, 2009 - 1:40 pm

    baffledgirl,

    Please try not to over analyze his move too much, really if you need to figure out why he post that bulletins about that girl and still keeping in touch with you, then you probably are not able to handle him in the future. I sometimes saw my guy post some comments in a girl’s blog and end the comment with kiss or calling the girl cutie… It used to bother me before but the more time you take to get to know him, you will learn that none of those things mean anything meaningful at all. I can’t say for sure about your guy because both of you are still very young and I know regardless of signs, boys in their teenage tend to do silly things without using so much thought…

    Yes, I think your new approach is good, don’t show him too much attention (or at least pretend not to) and let him work a bit on you.

  841. #841 by Jess on December 18, 2009 - 1:43 pm

    @ Ariesgal, welcome aboard! I’m Aries too ๐Ÿ˜‰

    @ saggi girl, are you in love??!!! you sound more than just getting a bit carried away! hahaha!

    Happy weekend everyone!

  842. #842 by saggi girl on December 18, 2009 - 3:31 pm

    hi Jane,

    i have no problem printing the word on the page… I guess it has something to do with the computer.

    To answer your question: no, we are no longer dating as a unofficial couple. we are an official couple now. he gave the title back to me like 2 months ago with me asking. LOL… i am so thick skinned sometimes. It started with my text asking him if he is my boyfriend now, when I felt that he is ready for some weird reason.. it might be my instinct.. my text was like” hi, baby, i was just wondering if you are my boyfriend.?” then he did not answer me back until 4 hours later.. his text was like” baby, it was just a busy and crazy day for me today… to answer your question” yes. i am.” good night with kisses… i will talk to you tomorrow.” well, it is just like that…then next day, we had a talk about that text, he was telling me that i am his girlfriend now and i told him that he was no longer allowed to look at the other girls… then he was like” wow, you are just so quick with the entitlement.. well, i still can look, right? but i won’t do anything stupid.. it was just a look..i know i am in a relationship now and know what i need to do” and then a few days later… i asked him why he did not initiate it if he was ready.. then he was like” well, i did not see a rush for that as things has been good… but if you wanted.. and i was ready.. then why not?” then we played with this a little bit by me requsting him to ask me again out of his mouth.. then he asked… It is finally official…LOL

    Jane, i know they are confusing… but once they are close to make commitment, you can feel it by how much effort they are putting in to stabilize the relationship.. well, my guy is still cheap..he will never change that, i guess., LOL. but recently his financial situation is a little bit better, then i forced him to pay for the bill sometimes, then he was teasing me that he felt like that he was making up for the past…i think things look good in your story… at some point, i think our story does look similar.

    good luck.. Jane..tomorrow is my birthday… will be a year YOUNGER…

    His dad and his aunt/uncle are visiting him during the weekend but arriving on a seperate day.. it was the first time gathering after his mom passed away a month ago.. i am happy for him.. he will meet me earlier during the day for my birthday… and then catch up with his family later… they will only stay for a day…i will see what kind of gift he will give for my birthday… will keep you posted…LOL

  843. #843 by saggi girl on December 18, 2009 - 3:40 pm

    Jess,
    nice to hear from you again…Hehehe… i am in love?? hehe…kind of both.. glad that you will meet with your bull soon.. enjoy enjoy…you know that i am jealous with your Double O..

    we will be staying at hotel during the christmas too…

  844. #844 by Jane on December 18, 2009 - 4:56 pm

    Jess

    Ahh sorry to hear you have been so unwell, you have a wonderful weekend to look forward to with your bull so i am sure that will cheer you up!! Plenty of DOUBLE O’s !!! LOL have a great time, look forward to hearing your next post. Have fun!!

    Saggi girl

    Hey HAPPY BIRTHDAY for tomorrow maybe your gift will DOUBLE O’s too LOL LOL!! I will remember that what you say about as they get closer to comittment they do everything to stabilise the relationship, i mean my guy is waaaay off that yet but good to know. I hope you enjoy your weekend too ,enjoy your time with your bull (my turn to be jealous of you and Jess!! So glad you now ‘OFFICIAL’!! phew!! lol its all good, look forward to hearing your next post too! Enjoy and have fun.

    Oh I must have problems with my computer!! Never mind, Thanks Ladies

    Ariesgal

    Welcome to you, hope all is well and you are ready for the crazy world of taurus!! lol Everyone here is great i am sure like me, you will find it sooo helpful. Look forward to hearing your update!

  845. #845 by baffledgirl on December 18, 2009 - 10:45 pm

    Jess,

    Yes those myspace things really annoy me about the girl he was posting about. It hurt me very bad because I felt like everything he told me were just flushed away. Now, my new approach is to not read the bulletins he posts or go on myspace too much. He has been texting me a lot lately, because i stopped paying attention to him. About 3 days ago he texted me saying hello at 10pm, i ignored it because i wasnt ready to talk to him yet. Then at 7am he texted me and i didnt text him back til about 3 hours. We talked a bit and my answers were brief and cold/distant. He noticed and told me i’m being short with him. We talked sent a couple more texts and then i told him i had to go. The following day, he texted me very late at 3am. I didnt reply because i was too tired, so i texted him the following morning and i said i was sleeping when he texted at 3am. We talked for a bit and then i decided not to be so cold /distant towards him to show him that its not that im not interested anymore, its just something is up. I told him that i know he sensed i was being cold and he said he did notice and that he just decided to not mind it because we all go through those days. He seemed very enthused to talk to me, i told him i really missed him and he was like “I know i miss you too!”
    I’m wondering what this all means, him posting those things on myspace but hes not going away. Like i said, he said that he admires how im doing really well in school and that i have my life together, and he’s been putting the effort to contact me…not sure what to think of it all because i want to make the same effort, talking to him, but i just cant get out of my head the things he posted on myspace. it hurt me and i’m probably just letting my cancerian sensitivity get to me, but, im trying to just realize that even though he seems like hes into that girl, he continues to talk to me, and when i act distant and cold, he tries to hold on tighter by texting me more. Like if i ignore his text, he texts again, not right away, but at some point he tries again…

    Jess i appreciate your words. I find solace in them and they calm me down when i think irrationally. I was so ready to break things off with him when i read the bulletins on myspace, but when i saw that he tried to contact me again when i ignored his first text, it kind of showed me he does care and probably doesnt want to let me go, right?

  846. #846 by scorpio11 on December 19, 2009 - 3:41 am

    hi everybody i read all your commets and i find very interesting and shocking because they are so true ima scorpio and been dating mih tarus guy for three months now .sometimes i feel like he is not intrested in me anymore because he could pass more then a day without even textin me or talk to me and the next day he will be like he baby i miss you like nothing happen and whenever i text him he take more then an hour to text back and he say that he loves me all the time .wat kind of boyfriend will pass more then a day without talking to their lovers .and yall are so right whenever we together its awesome he treats me like a queen and he is so affectionnate in public to me and i love that lol .should i believe him when he say that he loves me ? if he does really why passing weeks without calling me or anything? is it the tureans way of showing their love ? if it is its really harsh and painfull

  847. #847 by Sara_Taurus on December 21, 2009 - 6:27 am

    Hello to All

    I live in Dubai

    i ve been reading ur comments for 3 weeks now and guess how I found this link!! bc I’m kind VERY interested in Taurus guy ๐Ÿ™‚

    Danm how they are cold & hot ate the same time.. met him thru friends and he asked for my #, have left my friend’s place and he called me 3 times right away when I was in taxi but didn’t hear my cell.. I wasn’t that into him I must say but he called me once and we talked for like 3 hrs and then when I just liked him sooo much…

    facts..
    – he called me and talked for 3-4 hrs and 4get abt me for 1 week
    – was in Singapore for 7 days he was sms’ing me like 20 times per day.. when I came back to Dubai he simply didnt sms or called me to say welcome back till after 1 week I ve sent him very casual sms then he called and stayed for 3 hrs talking to me saying when we can meet and I miss u and ur voice!! wtf
    – he fixed date to have dinner and after cine.. supposed to be on Sat.. day has come and he didnt show up.. I sms him saying: r we still on?? and he replied back by saying: sorry I totally 4got and am in the stadium watching a soccer game!!! I replied after 3 hrs: No worries.. Enjoy the game!!
    didnt hear from him yet

    p.s. when he called after I sms him after Singapore he goes like: Are u mad bc I didnt call earlier?? I said of course no.. u must be very busy!!!

    I am Very Taurus girl but with this guy am kind of losing it a bit!!

    am not going to sms or call he gets back but what I am gonna say!!

    what do u think folks?

    Sara

  848. #848 by virgo10 on December 21, 2009 - 8:49 pm

    hey Sara!
    welcome lol i’m sure you have noticed a pattern with these guys… my guy did the same of setting up dates and then he cancels out by saying hes either sick or something came up…they like to feel in control of everything!

    so i thought i was going to be patient and wait it out, i havnt spoken to my guy in a week but i texted him saturday night at 3am just to see if he would respond back, and he did saying lets meet up, can you say booty call?? i was tempted but i didnt respond, not even 5 min later he calls me..we talked for a bit and then he told me he would call me back which i knew he wasnt bc he always says that and never does, but he did, i answered but he didnt respond so i just hung up. the next morning he texts me and says that its a good thing we didnt meet or talk to each other bc he would have tried or said some inappropriate things ๐Ÿ™‚ i didnt respond and 2 hours later he called me, he gets so impatient if i dont respond right away and he always calls, meanwhile he always does that to me but i dont call.. so im assuming this is good right??? we spoke and it was a good convo like it was normally but i dont want to get me hopes up…. lol

    how is everyones situation going?

  849. #849 by scorpio11 on December 22, 2009 - 2:01 am

    hi virgo ,
    omg when they stop callin you for a week or so does this that they are not interested in you anymore or they just forgot bout you?

  850. #850 by Sara_Taurus on December 22, 2009 - 4:35 am

    Thx Virgo for the charing..

    I should give u tips since am Taurus but am struggling with this guy.. guess am not going to text or call till I hear from him and will be very calm while talking..

    feeling like we talking abt the same guy in here.. lool

    cheers

  851. #851 by Jess on December 23, 2009 - 3:49 pm

    Hi Ladies,

    How is everyone doing? I’m much much better now with the flu. My update: I had such a eromantic night with my Tguy. You girls must not believe how our meeting is almost never planned which I become used to it now. We only agreed to spend time on the past weekend so i was supposed to meet him after finish work on Saturday but he never said what time exactly but I can guess it might be late because he was coming back from trip with his friends so i get myself ready since 6 pm and text to ask, he told me we will meet around 10 pm. So I was hanging out at a friend’s place but he didn’t make it until 15 minutes to midnight!!! Did I get and act upset? We ended up at this river view hotel, check in at midnight and went out to this 24 hrs super market, bought some food and snack and stuff and back to enjoy ourselves in the room until afternoon the next day. We checked out then moved for a picnic in the park and went for a little shopping before parted.

    The next day he text me that he think we can not meet anymore because sex is too good with me!!! LOL.

    Happy holidays everyone.

  852. #852 by Jess on December 23, 2009 - 3:53 pm

    Re read again I forgot to put there: no I didn’t get nor act upset at all and I can see that he appreciate it and was aware how I was waiting long time without giving him hard time.

  853. #853 by saggi girl on December 23, 2009 - 5:10 pm

    Jess.. i am glad that you enjoyed your time with your bull.. how could you be so considerate.. i guess you are meant to be.. as you were not upset at all… i posted a message at the other site.. the one you knew… wanted to get your advice…as you are a really calm and smart person.. sorry for all the drama i created… it seems that i drained the people around me.. thanks

  854. #854 by Jess on December 23, 2009 - 8:07 pm

    saggi girl,

    I went to read, and so sorry how things went so wrong on your birthday.

    I agree that your reaction was childish and overreacted but I understand you that you were expecting with this birthday of you to be a wonderful time. Saggi girl, I think the reason he gave you that gift card for the bookstore is because he knows you like to go there (as I remember, in your previous post long time ago, that you guys hang out there or he went to see you there) and the other reason is that, it was not expensive so he can afford another gift for you on Christmas (since you guys have planned for 2 nights in hotel which it sounds more special in my idea than spending time on your birthday right?) and for Americans, i guess Christmas is very important and meaningful festival.

    Now that he still gives you good night kiss and talk to you, its a good sign but I think you should not mistake it as you have paid your deed (by saying sorry) and expect thing to be normal right away. YOu must understand you hurt not just his feelings but his pride. Give him some TIME and SPACE by not pushing things to his face and expect him to be normal right away. Do not mention about it again. It’s easier for Taurus to put thing behind (ie like when they have fight with you or when they realize they make mistake or fail on mission) by not talking about it again (as to emphasize their failure of not being able to please you) Next time you talk to him or seeing him or text him, try to make him smile or laugh or make some joke (not anything relating to this situation). It always work with mine. I will make a joke of myself and he will see my attempt of trying to make him laugh, but keep in mind it doesn’t make thing ok in just a few days but it will finally!

    Don’t worry saggi girl, you guys will pass this through. Make up and make it best memory on Christmas night instead.

    Happy belated birthday and hug you, saggi girl.

  855. #855 by Jess on December 23, 2009 - 8:15 pm

    Oh saggi girl, don’t buy him too expensive thing for Christmas gift ok? because if your gift is more valuable in term of price than his to you, that might not look and feel good. If you can, buy something he can use everyday (I gave electric shaver to my guy on his birthday and he loves it and now he use it every time he shave), and if you like may be make something (a dish of food or cake or card for example).

  856. #856 by saggi girl on December 23, 2009 - 9:09 pm

    Jess,

    thank you..thank you.. thank you.. thank you.. i want to write a million of times…well, it is still not enough.. you make me calm.. it really does.. i know that i overacted over this and hurted his pride and feeling.. right now.. he wanted to split the bill with me for everything that i pay from now on.. it is kind of weird for me now, as it was not like that before as his financial is in poor situation. i told him last night when he asked to tell him how much i booked for the hotel so he can split the cost with me… then i was like” it is ok.. why all of the sudden you are like this now.” then he was like” well, it is not fair for you to pay for the hotel. i want to share the bill….if it was not like that in the past, then it will be the way now..” and he told me that he does not want the expensive gift at all, if i do get him one expensive gift, then i have to return it.. actually.. i did not get it until you mentioned it… right now.. i see … it is so considerate of you to understand how he feel.. how come i was lacking of the senses that you can feel for him..

    as for the gift you recommended.. OMG, actually i got the electric shaver yesterday… and plan to give to him on christmas.. i guess that i still have to pay what i have done.. till he is finally over it..

    thanks, Jess…like a million of times again.. happy Christmas..Hugs..

  857. #857 by Jane on December 23, 2009 - 10:26 pm

    Jess
    Hi Jess, hey hey hey how wonderful!! Sounds like you guys had a great time together, soooo happy for you. How good you where being quiet about how late he arrived! Impressive but yor so right these guys soooo appreciate less drama! lol It really does sound so romantic and the picinic to!! Ah i feel all mushy!! LOL!!

    I have been looking forward to hearing how things went, and hey is last comment…Sex too good!! lol GO GIRL!!

    Jess if you dont mind i would like to tell you my update…
    Well me and my guy have been in constant contact (text) since our meal together, and he visited me again and left few hours ago, i gave him christmas card last time and he brought me a card and a gift, i gave him a gift too. I hear what you say to saggi girl about not buying too expensive giftIf he not done same or if his less price, for me i dont care bout how much something costs or anything, it is the thought that counts but i do realise what you say and i got him 3 really sentimental gifts that will mean something to him that i have known about him since i have known him, do you think coz he got me one gift he will feel bad!!? I do hope not!
    He brought up again the ‘friends/relationship’ situation!! He was saying how close he feels we have become since being friends and that we have daily contact too, i was glad to hear him say that and he also said (coz i mentioned her name) that he has no feelings wotsoever for his ex and he doesnt want me to think he does. He said how he has this great girl in front of him and yet he doesnt feel ready! I said i understand and hear what he says and agree but have to say being friends with him is my priority for now (dont want him feel presure) But if i thought we where working towards something eventually then that would be different.. I hope he is feeling different towards me, do you think it sounds positive? Thanks Happy holidays to you Jess x

    Saggi girl

    I am sorry to hear how things not work out well for you birthday, I know i dont know full stoory but reading what you and Jess saying it sounds with book token that he may have just wanted to make sure you got exactly what you wanted, Sorry i know i dont know situation, hope you ok and happy holidays to you Saggi girl x

    Happy holidays everyone!! x

  858. #858 by Jess on December 24, 2009 - 12:10 am

    saggi girl,

    You know you are so welcome!

    I guess age and experience have a lot to do with the person I am today. I have to make commitment to myself to be more calm and considerate as I was not like this in the past and hurt people I love and care for.

    Oh saggi girl, forgot to mention, please don’t feel bad that he reduce to only 1 night stay at hotel. I would guess it’s nothing to do with the birthday thing but the main reason is to reduce the cost (for himself).

    Try to relax and don’t worry too much saggi girl, you are still a young girl, and sometimes can’t handle intense emotions but you will learn and become a nice woman soon I’m sure!

  859. #859 by Jess on December 24, 2009 - 12:38 am

    Hi Jane,

    I’m glad to hear your situation is going well!

    I agree with you that the thought that counts not the value of the gift but I have reasons for not buying/giving gift to guy more expensive than he would give me, I know men would say whatever they like but they secretly counts and notice what they and we can give. (let’s be realistic, men’s role is the provider and see how men in today world struggle for money and status and get the top women), another reason is quite personal, I will never love nor give any men, whatsoever (love, stuff) more than he can give me, it’s for me to protect my heart and pride and I feel safe. But Of course I give my all but it’s just the presentation that I want to show them (don’t want them to feel too important…)

    Jane, now you see how your guy bring up the issue about relationship/friendship. Try to observe I’m sure he will keep bringing up until it’s only the issue of ‘relationship’ with no talking about friendship any longer.

    Your answer is fine Jane, just may be you can just acknowledge his comment by not telling exactly what you feel and waht you want NOW? I mean I always wait and lead him to reveal to me what he wants first before I told him what I want and I didn’t say exactly either relationship nor friendship as I don’t want to miss a chance for both nor set myself a trap for any of that. Just sharing with you ok? don’t have to listen to me because until now I still have not talked to my Tguy if we are bf/gf or what…LOL.

  860. #860 by Jane on December 27, 2009 - 6:53 pm

    Hi Everyone

    Well happy holidays to you all i hope everyone is well and happy.
    I thought i would just check in and give you all my update!!

    As you will no doubt remember me and my taurus have been getting closer since we had our first meal together, so much so that he commented how he feeling it too!!
    Anyway christmas day morning he text me early to wish me a happy christmas etc, i did the same and i thanked him for my wonderful gift that he bought for me, i was so happy. He said he opens his presents later with all his family. So later he text me this amazing message saying how truly impressed he was with my gifts, you see, my gifts to him where very much about ‘him’ and what he is about. He was so overwhelmed by it and i do believe it has in some way helped move things forward for us both! (i am hoping anyway)

    He seems different,he truly does and i am sure he was feeling it before my gifts but he was really moved and stunned that i new these things about him he kept saying ‘you are so observant, so clever to know that he even said his own mother wouldnt know that about him!! lol He then said ‘i love you’ Oh i am not getting to excited yet as this was in text! We met yesterday, he asked me to meet him for coffee before he had to go and meet with family.
    He was soooo attentive to me, asking me so many family questions and we where locked in eye contact it was great.
    He text me later that afternoon when he with family and said how good it was to see me again, i of course felt the same, but what has happpened now is he has gone ‘quiet’ on me!! You know that taurus ‘pulling back’ thing! I text him last nite he didnt reply, text him this am, he replieid few hours later, this is where i realise he needs his space, time to reflect, get control its so strange, just as things move i can almost see the panic!! I am ok with it, i feel our connection and i know he does too i respect that he has to sort things out in his own head coz i know deep down he does not feel ready… Anyway ladies just wanted to let you know where i am up to. I do truly love him i just hope we make it!!

    Hope you all ok xx

  861. #861 by saggi girl on December 28, 2009 - 3:04 pm

    hi all,
    Happy new yearโ€ฆ
    just gave you some updates.. it was good..hehehe.. no negativity this time.. he bought me a very nice gift even though he was still mad at me.. i got a nice sweater and a pair of nice pants..it was wrapped nicely..but when he handed me the gift.. i can still see the madness in his eye.. then i open it up..and very happy.. it was a very very nice gift.. he has a really good taste.. then he told me that he shopped in the mall..and guessed my size of my pants and the sweater.. when he came out of the store and he asked a ladyโ€™s advice over the gift he bought for me.. he told me that the lady told him โ€œyou girlfriend will say you did a good job.โ€ i tried it on and the size is perfectโ€ฆ hehehehe..

    we checked out next day and then went to see the movie but it was too earlier.. so we bought the ticket and stayed in the bookstore to study together which waiting on the movie.. it feels nice to study with himโ€ฆ.

    The next holiday will be new year eve.. i am looking forward to it.. so, everyone, how is your holiday????

    Jess,

    how is your holiday??? looking forward to hearing from you…

  862. #862 by saggi girl on December 28, 2009 - 5:10 pm

    Jess and girls,
    I need your opinion…
    my taurus boyfriend and i went to see the movie after the christmas day.. while we were waiting in line for the movie( it has been an hour waiting) we were kind of randomly chat with each other to pass the waiting.. there are 2 girls standing kind of behind but a little bit close to next to him.. so, when we talked, i would look back to talk to him.. then he made some comments over the waiting issue for this movie.. one of the 2 girls jumped in the conversation with him about the comments he made.. then the conversation started from there. they seemed nice girls..one of the girls with her boyfriend who went to buy the popcorn for her while she was talking to my boyfriend.. then i kind of turned back to join in the conversation… we were just normally talking about the random stuff but the conversation is fun..so her boyfriend came back and joined the conversation. so my boyfriend introduced himself and me and they did the same.. so one of the girls who does not have boyfriend recommended that we should sit together.. my boyfriend agreed.. so we went in and all sit together.. then my boyfriend went to buy popcorn and pop but came back with 2 pops.. he bought extra for those 2 girls and her boyfriend.. so the movie contines… 3 hours later , movied was ended.. so her boyfriend asked my boyfriend if he enjoyed the movie.. my boyfriend said yes.. then the girl who has the boyfriend asked if i enjoyed too.. but i did not pay attention as i sit further away from her.. then my boyfriend poked me and asked if i enjoyed it.. then i said “yes.” they seem nice people.. then i heard my boyfriend suggested if we could hang out together for movie sometime in the future… then the boyfriend said” yeah, it is a good idea”. then my boyfriend asked for the phone number.. but i did not know what happend why the girl who has the boyfriend ended up giving my boyfriend her phone number… then he called her number in order to show his number. they did that in front of me and her boyfriend…i was so pissed..then he told them that we were going to see another movie and will call them later.. so we parted our way from them for another movie.. so i asked him why he asked for that girl’s phone number. he told me that i complained in the morning to him that i did not get introduced to his friend( actually his old friend was from his marriage but the marriage was ended. so his life was totally changed), so he told me that he wanted to make new friends so we can hang out with them sometimes, they seems very nice people and the conversation engaged in very well.. they are connections.. so i told him that he can go out with the girl.. he said that he was not going out with the girls.that is not his intention… he just wanted to make some new friends for both of us.. then i asked why he got the girls phone number..he told me that he just asked the guy if we can hang out together some time in the future, and they all agreed , then the girl gave out the phone number, and her boyfriend is ok with it.. then he also said that we can hang out with them sometimes, if we do not like it, then we will not go anymore.. but they seem nice people. then i told him that i appreciated he was making effort to make new friends for both of us, but next time i preferred to be asked as i was part of it.. then he said that he will and he won’t call them before he talked to me about it… but i still feel weird.. that he has her number and he is going to call her to arrange the hangout for us… so i confonted that he might be interested in her.. then he pissed and tell me to calm down..he told me that i should trust him.. he also said that if he really want to do something , he won’t do it in front of her boyfriend and me.. he just want to make new friend for both of us… he will ask me first next time.. he told me to stop the drama.. stop getting jealous over nothing even though it is cute sometimes.. then i let it go but still thinking it is something i need to worry about.. don’t you think???

  863. #863 by Jane on December 28, 2009 - 8:25 pm

    saggi girl

    Hi to you and first of all happy holidays to you.

    I must admit reading your post i would be pissed too!! I think i say that though if it was me coz i know my thought would be exactly the same and i would be thinking why didnt my boyfriend say to the girl ‘hey thanks for that but i’ll take his number instead may be better(meaning her boyfriend and said in jokey way!) I do supose though your guy sees it as totally innocent on his part and it does sound that way. I am sure your guy would not have liked it the other way around and i would point that out(in your very ladylike way!!lol)

    Saggi girl whilst i am with you on this, your guy is very upfront with you saying he would not do it in front of you if he had anything like that in mind so you have to take his word on that but as i say i would let him know how you feel,leave it and do like he said make plans with these people together and after he consults you first. You have been with him for long enough to feel if you trust him, i am sure you do and yes we all get jealous at times(taurus love it when we do!) Chin up and see how things go, keep us posted.

    Hey your guy did really well choosing the gifts for you too, the shop attendant was right and how sweet he checked with her for advice!! Ahh cute!!!!
    I am sure most guys would find that difficult to do.

  864. #864 by saggi girl on December 28, 2009 - 9:08 pm

    Hi Jane,
    thanks for your comments.. I was really pissed and almost to the point of leaving him when i saw him doing that… was i invisible to be asked? he told me that they were not only talking to him but also wanted to talk to me too but i was so cold to them.. then i was like” well, i was not really chatty with strangers.. as i do not know them at all..why would I?” then he was like” well, i understand you were kind of shy when strangers were around you. i know you are like that.” but i do not think i would make friend with somebody i met in the movie theatre for 20 minutes based on some random stuff we talked about. he was telling me that it will be good if we hang out with friends, which will be making it more interesting as i was complaining earlier in the morning for not having his friend to hang out with.. but… at the some point i was appreciating his effort to do that…but at the same time that i feel weird for him doing that… i asked him how he would feel if i gave a guy phone number in front of him even though it is for other intentions.. he told me that he would feel the same… so he told me that next time, he will ask me first instead… i will trust him on this one.. but still feeling a little weird.. as i used to think that he was very traditional and knows the boundary that he was supposed to have when dealing with other girls.. i know that i was not really engaged in their conversation and was very shy of responding to strangers especially face to face.. but that is who i am, which does not mean that he can do that for us by assuming that i was too shy to initiate… well, i think i will go and see what will happen… i just do not think the girl should give the phone number to a guy even in front of her boyfriend… as if i was the guy, i will be pissed… as i wouldn’t give a guy phone number for whatever the reason is in front of my boyfriend without asking him first.. it is called respect.. i also felt that there are so many ways to get a phone number, he could have said to the girl like you suggested or let me to have the phone number or gave my phone number out….. so many ways..

    yeah, he did a good job on my gift.. i felt good until the movie event came out..

  865. #865 by saggi girl on December 29, 2009 - 6:16 pm

    oh, god, i still feel awful for what he did… right now, i requested her phone number from him.. i do not know if i went too far.. as my gut feeling does not let it go at all… i do not know what to believe… but what he did was really out of his way for making friend.. which makes me think it is fishy…

  866. #866 by baffledgirl on December 30, 2009 - 3:36 am

    Ive ended things with my taurus just today. I approached it nicely and calmly and femininely. Its true that he has his eye on a local girl, he said he doesnt want me to go because he knows im the best girl, but its just the distance thats affecting him. He said truthfully if distance wasnt an issuee he would absolutely make me his because he loves so many things about me. I said that i believe the things he says and that for now my decision is to walk away because i cant be just friends with him. He said he will definitely contact me in the future. Right now, i’m of course sad but at the same time, i do realize that the distance is whats keeping us apart. I’m setting him free and if he comes back to me,, which in my heart, i know he will, then by that time, i’ll make the decision whether or not to let him back in my life.

  867. #867 by Jane on December 30, 2009 - 10:58 am

    Saggi girl

    I do totally understand why you feel like you do and i suppose if it was me i would feel as you do. What i will say is this is playing on your mind so for that reason i would say if you cant just let it lay then discuss it with him and calmly tell him how insecure it making you feel that way he hears your feelings and you give him time to do something about it.

    Did he respond to you asking for her number?

    Do not worry, as you said your gut feeling wont let this go and if you didnt say something this would just eat you up . I know i would not like it either, as i said before he does seem honest with you but you where there and it seems odd that the two guys wouldnt exchange numbers instead and i guess your suspision is understandable but he is your guy and you must trust him too. I am sure he will understand your concern as he would not like it if the guy gave you his number!!
    Try not to worry Saggi girl, hopefully it will just blow over

  868. #868 by Jane on December 30, 2009 - 11:20 am

    baffledgirl

    Really sorry things have not worked out well for you but it sounds as though you are doing the respect and correct thing for yourself and that has to be a good thing, you are important and you matter so as you say this guy wants you then he’ll be back!!

    Good luck to you, will miss you here, you may be back sooner than you think!
    Happy 2010 baffledgirl and best wishes to you keep us posted.

  869. #869 by Jane on December 30, 2009 - 11:27 am

    Happy 2010 everyone!! Wish all you wonderful ladies love and happiness for the coming year! All the very best xx

  870. #870 by saggi girl on December 30, 2009 - 3:00 pm

    hi Jane,

    actually we talked last night planing to spend new year eve together. he told me that he deleted her phone number 2 days ago right after i told him how i felt. he asked me why i changed my mind 2 days later asking for her phone number saying that she is nice and wanted to contact her…he said” well, i thought about it, then i felt that i am not going to call them to arrange a meeting. we did that in open when we exchanged the phone number and you are part of it, but if you do not feel comfortable, i do not give a shit.. .” then I was like” well, i did make a mistake too. i should get her phone number instead of my boyfriend.” he was like” oh, yeah.” i will leave this behind and he knows how i felt. he showed me that he cares, then i will leave it behind..

    But i also told him that i carried over some negative stuff from the past into the present.. as my ex cheated.. so i have trust issue.. hope he will be patient with it.. he said that he understands..

    i think that i learned something from this incident is that if i doubted something, i should remain trust until it proves guilty.. otherwise, i will be setting up myself for unhappiness..
    Thanks, Jane, for your kind word.. happy new year to you too.

  871. #871 by Jane on December 30, 2009 - 6:36 pm

    saggi girl

    Hey saggi girl, there you go, he did the right thing there, he had your feelings all along! I am happy for you. Hey, us women really jump to conclusions too quick!! lol. The good thing here also is he realised by himself and did the right thing towards you,his girl, that proves a whole lot!!

    you where right to feel like you did and i am sure your guy would have felt the same if it other way which may be what made him delete her number but who cares its done and thats the main thing eh!
    Trust is hard when you have been hurt and i am sure your guy understands.

    Me and my guy are getting so much closer, it feels different. I dont know if i will see him tomoro, i am hoping i do. I have just text and asked him to come for a meal, i felt a bit deflated coz he text back and said he let me know in the morning but said yes baby it sounds like a good plan!! Dont know why he cant let me know now!! I think too much too lol
    Anyway saggi girl have a great new years eve with your guy, put that little incident behind you and start the new year positive for you both. All the very best to you both.
    I hope we both have something nice to report in our next update!!!

  872. #872 by saggi girl on December 30, 2009 - 7:37 pm

    hi Jane,

    do not worry about why he can not tell you now. my guy did the same before… exactly the same. it seems that they can not make up their mind over everything… it really pissed me off when he did that.. but let me tell you.. do not take it personal.. that is who they are.. . like last time when we stayed at hotel, we cut the stay to one night as he was mad at me over my reaction to the birthday gift.. then we enjoyed for that night. so i suggested to stay another night, he agreed. but next morning when he woke up, he changed his mind… it really pissed me off…but i let it go.. as they can not make up their mind.. but if you changed your mind too often like they do, they will be angry.. see, aha..it is not fair..

    hope you will have a peaceful and nice new year.. hopefully we only carry over the positive aspect..

    looking forward to your next update!!! good one!!!

  873. #873 by baffledgirl on December 30, 2009 - 9:42 pm

    Jane

    Yup things didnt work out at the moment because we both agreed that the distance kills the opportunity for our relationship to blossom. I said to contact me in the future and he said he promises to contact me. Im not altogether deleting him in my life because i do love him but right now, the best move for me is to get on with my life first and when i move near him, we can continue where we left off. He told me if i were closer, he would absolutely choose me over any other girl because in his eyes im the whole package. He said he wants me so badly but the distance is killing him. I understand, although i am a bit hurt that i have to walk away, i think it will benefit us in the future. He is going to miss me and realize no other girl can compare to me and he even said so himself im the best girl for him but our circumstances prevent us from being together officially. I’m setting him free for now and i know he will come back to me because he promised.

  874. #874 by saggi girl on December 30, 2009 - 10:29 pm

    baffledgirl,

    hope you will feel better in the upcoming year.. i know it is hard to make a decision like this especially when you love him.. well, you will never know how future lead your life into.. Just do whatever you need to do now.. when it is the time for you to be together.. i mean really to be together.. then it will be the day.. be strong…

    happy new year to you.

  875. #875 by Confused Libra on December 31, 2009 - 1:30 am

    Need some advice here girls.

    I have been dating this single father with a hectic life for 6 months now. Last time we saw each other he sort of told me that he doesn’t feel the desire to want to see me. Since then, I have not spoke to him as I indicated clearly that I want to be with someone who wants to be with me. When he asked to call me in a week (and he asked me to give him a week so we’d be on break since our last break didn’t work out as we had agreed and we ended up seeing each other more). He tried calling once 2 weeks after that when i was at work but did not leave a message so I did not call him back (well, if i did, i had nothing to say to him then). He called again last night and I happened to pick up the phone. We talked for about 1.5 hrs. I knew this was hard for him as he isn’t a very chatty person. He brought up a lot of things that we did together and said two things : He misses our connection, and that he thought of me a lot in the last few weeks. It was three and half weeks later since we had any sort of communication. He did not ask me out or anything since we are both visiting our folks out of town but he indicates that he’d like to see me soon and that he’d call me sooner than a month (since it had been almost 4 weeks from our last communication, i made a joke that i’d talk to him in a month).

    My questions and I know this is stupid to ask

    1. Why did he call again just when i was getting over him, or at least I think i am trying?
    2. He did say that he doesn’t feel the desire to want to see me two weeks after Thanksgiving break (which we had no communication) and that he likes me very much as a friend. Now he is back, did not mention anything about not calling, and I am under the impression that he doesn’t think anything is wrong with that either. This is; however, the first time he expressed that he thought of me a lot and that he misses our connection, he had never said anything like it before while we were together. What gives? If he doesn’t feel the desire to want to see me or talk to me, why all the sudden he is interested in talking again and gave me a run down of his life (with me asking)
    3. What do I do when he calls again? I don’t want to get hurt and i want to take things slow this time. If he wants to talk, he’ll need to call because i can’t bare to be rejected again by the same person for months. I think we are in a weird pattern that he’d ask for space, i would agree on it and he calls and returns again. It is not that i don’t care. It is because i care so i want to give him the space to think and find out what he wants. Meanwhile, i can’t stop my life just for him. I don’t want to do this any more. The leaving and coming, the hot and cold, and the uncertainty. Last time when we parted after agreeing to give him another week to call and sort things out, i was heartbroken because he did not call when he said he would and that he mentioned that he would keep his eyes open for that feeling that he is looking for (meaning dating others). I wished him luck and that was the last thing i said to him. Exactly two weeks later from the day we last talked about giving him space, he called and left no message, a week and half later after that, he called again and acted like nothing was wrong. I deliberately told him that he crossed the line and that is “Toleration” for me. I will give him space as I always have but I am not willing to be his backup plan and I am sort of feeling that way now. Maybe it’s just my own insecurity.

    thanks for help everyone.

  876. #876 by Ariesgal on January 1, 2010 - 9:15 pm

    Helllo ladies!

    So my Taurus man has returned! I was so excited to see him and got a lovely big smile from him when I got into work last night. No present though. He was sick all over the Christmas there but he assured me that I was still get a present.

    Ugh, I know I’m going to have to either have the paitience of a saint and let him come to me or just throw all my toys out of the pram and ask him out. I don’t think I can hold out much longer. Its been nearly two months of the same nonsense!!

    Any advice??? Please put me out of my misery….

    Ariesgal a.k.a FRUTRATION CENTRAL!

  877. #877 by Mia on January 1, 2010 - 11:21 pm

    Happy New Year all you beautiful ladies!

    I’ve been reading this post as all of you trying to make sense of our taurus guys. Ariesgal, Confused Libra, stay happy happy, busy, busy, and confident like you already are! Remember, it isn’t about trying to get and keep a taurus man, you waste more of your precious energy that way. When you switch your focus from getting him and keeping him to focusing on your personal goals and passions for yourself, remaining upbeat and happy with yourself, that is when he will naturally come to you.

    My taurus guy has been dating me for 7 months now, but he is still acting like a friend with benefits. I have NEVER had a guy do this without feelings involved. I’m crazy over him, but find when I act nice but busy he calls often, and texts to do things often.

    However, HE STOOD ME UP LAST NITE, New Yrs Eve. He wanted to get a room and celebrate, a few weeks ago… I was laying back to let him plan everything. Well, he called 2 days ago and asked me to help as they were all selling out. I did, one thing I SHOULD not have done. I’m a Virgo/Libra cusp and am always wanting to “help” and volunteered to find a room, I did, he said he would pay as I could not afford 1/2. This is huge for him, as we always split the tab when camping.

    Well, he asked me to confirm reservation, I did. He called me the night before, the morning of, “yesterday”, but hardly mentioned going out??? Then he texted me to move picking me up until later, and when later came, he was MIA.

    The hotel called me to confirm, and I texted him telling him I was going to have to cancel or confirm. He texted back staying “still tied up” I texted back to please take a moment to give me a call and that I did not have the money for this. They would not cancel. I was stuck for the money. I called and left a message that they would not cancel, here’s the number, and that I can’t afford to get stuck with this.

    I texted him a few moments later, Don’t worry about calling me back, I’ve gone to a party. I do not know you, this isn’t the “x” I know. I’m done.

    Haven’t heard a peep from him.

    At first he did this in the relationship, then he grew closer, and veeeeeeeeeeeeery slowly he has becoming more attached to me.

    Last weekend (Christmas) he did not give me a present, but we played pool, went back to my house and he kissed me full on the lips when leaving. This coming from the guy that would just walk away when leaving without a goodbye. He also called me with a nick name (just once) two weeks ago.

    The ONLY explanation I can think of is that he is scared to have feelings for me. I’ve been around his friends and family.

    I can understand him standing me up if I was rude or we had an arguement but to the contrary, he was calling me, texting me again and again as to what time to leave???

    I do know him enough to know this is how he handles things he doesn’t want to follow through with. Usually he will ask what I’m going to wear, blah blah, nothing, so that should have been a huge clue for me. Next time I WILL NEVER SECURE a room for ANY guy.

    But what I learned is how strong I am. I have NOT SHED one tear (yet) and determined with all my might, not to.

    The healthy thing for me to do is to go on and not go back to him unless he has a huge apology. I soooooo want to be with him, but I can’t be a pushover. I can’t be used or manipulated in a relationship.

    Although I’m giving some healthy advice, I could use some info you may have to help me know he will be back and that he is just getting scared of his feelings.

    Remaining, “calm” (trying to smile) and ‘patient’ but determined believing he will come back,

    Mia

    P.S. What is unbelievable, is I was thinking any day now, he will reveal that he has feelings for me… BUT never that he would just drop me… I’m floored, crushed… I was shocked though that he wanted to spend New Yrs with me, that was a huge sign he is (was) getting closer… hmmmmmmmm..

  878. #878 by Lionsroar on January 2, 2010 - 3:08 pm

    HELLO FABULOUS LADIES AND HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL:
    Been ages thought I’d update.. On 10 months with the bull, yah he’s still around and now he’s grown on me and I have actually stopped dating around.. Ok here goes in the beginning, they are totally aloof, afraid and dont like to leave the comfort of their surrounding. They prefer you chase them. Which I didnt, so he had to step out of his box. He still does not like talking on the phone. However he is up to daily texts, sometimes 4 or 5. Stupid shit like ‘doing laundry again’..rarely anything to do with ‘us’. Ha ha… However I can tell you, you will know when you are getting closer… Pay attention to their actions, not their words.. I love candles..he always has the candles lit when I come over. I like a different soda then he does, he always keeps mine stocked in the fridge. He totally suprised me at Christmas buying items I mentioned in the past.. Yes HE REALLY DOES LISTEN. Whenever we go anywhere it is always, ‘Where do you want to go?” It is not about him anymore. Oh yah he’s still selfish in his own way. WAY WAY JEALOUS… I was with the girls the other day and said I was stopping for 1 beer, I got a text 2 hours into it stating ‘I thought you were only stopping for 1″.. The only way he could have known I was there was because he drove throught the damn parking lot looking. Yah they Check up on you and are Sneaky..that’s the whole not trusting you completely thing they do… Anywho.. All I can tell you is really be yourself. The few times he got jealous upset, I just say OK and hang up assuming we are done. He always texts/calls the next day asking if we can talk and it’s always the same story, “I misunderstood you and I’m sorry”… Yah they are sweet hearts and I have to say I am just now looking forward to having a relationship with him. For Christmas he went to his house he actually went out and bought a tree, put up small decorations, cooked, wine a fire, candles the entire big bang.. I have noticed that they really do love to please the ones they care about and go out of thier way to do so… you just have to pay attention to notice that they are doing it for you.. Thats really how they show they care the rest falls into place. Take care and if it is not healthy for you, get out of it or at least step back and look at them as a friend and move forward that way… friends.. If they’re meant to be with you, they will be. Oh yah and a tip even though they dont like to be the center of attention deep down they do…and they love compliments and talking.. you just have to do that in private where they are comfortable then they are like sitting with your girlfriends..they never shut up…. HAPPY 2010!

  879. #879 by virgo10 on January 2, 2010 - 5:40 pm

    Hey lionsroar. nice to have you back.
    Thats awesome that you and your taurus have been together that long. Is it now official? You say they like to be chased… but how do you demonstrate it without looking too desperate or impatient?? How long were you chasing him for?? Did you have the relationship status talk with him or did he?

    Sorry for all the questions lol

    Happy new year everyone!

  880. #880 by LIONSROAR on January 2, 2010 - 6:54 pm

    Virgo10

    Very good questions, funny thing is it is the reverse of what you stated, asked. The ‘chase’ is NOT chasing them at all, it is just being friends. Woman can judge and decide at warp speed if we want to see someone again/become friends, etc.. Men… ahh no way, they dont process squat..haha. It’s a matter of being yourself, plain and simple. Honestly you have to like them and they have to like you for your authentic self. I replied only when he contacted..on occasion if I had a question or felt like contacting, if he didnt reply I just let it go. Yah sounds wierd but that is how they chase. Funny thing is we became very good friends through these months and it just evolved. “The talk”?? Never had one, one day he just started saying everything in terms of ‘we’, ‘want to stay home’, ‘are we doing anything’.. Before it was “I’, “MY house”, “If I or You are available”..hahaha that’s what I mean I realized half way through he WAS showing me he was getting closer by the way he talked and things he did(keeping the stuff I like at his house, etc).. So I never and he never needed to have the talk. It’s just how these folks operate..slow and steady. Concentrate on being friends that’s the part we fall in love with, let him show you he can be a best friend and show him you can be a good buddy too. Best of Luck… They really are very simple guys deep down.. And dont forget when you have him alone alittle compliment here and there goes A MILLION MILES with these guys.. easy stuff; “that sweater looks good on you”, they really are way more sensitive then they show the world.. I know hard to get close to someone who shows the world they want to be alone, but like I said..slow and steady because they dont want to be alone but they are afraid to get to close and loose anything ..Thats the selfishness in them…

  881. #881 by virgo10 on January 2, 2010 - 9:15 pm

    thanks for your advice, its really helpful and its making sense but damn, these guys are like turtles. I’m a patient person but theres only so much. How long were you guys friends for?? Did you see him often within that time period?
    WE text here and there, but I feel like I’m the one thats always initiating it… I don’t do it every day rather its like a weekly basis lol I need to stop, but id he doesn’t text back he calls me, all the times we’ve talked its him who’s initaited it…

    by the way what is your zodiac sign? Leo? sorry I’m obviously a virgo and analyze EVERYTHING lol

  882. #882 by LIONSROAR on January 2, 2010 - 10:21 pm

    Virgo10
    Good thing I’m home today, looks like I can help someone out after all.. hahaha We were casual indirect friends for about a year prior to dating. When I saw him it would be in a group situation..we never chatted one on one, it was a hey, hi, how are you.. Honestly never even thought he was interested in me at all. Nothing more than casual friends. He initiated the first in counter, it was very akward, we chatted once afterwards and I blew it off like it was nothing. He asked me out after that but I was busy and then we didnt see each other for a few weeks, it was sparse all spring and summer in between travel and life. He only texted me once a week and that would be only to ask if I wanted to do something on the weekend. The weekend would be one night and one night only..we saw each other 2 or 3 times a month usually only on the weekend. Fall he invited me to go with him with friends, from that point on it seemed we just kinda morphed into a couple. I’m not sure how it happened myself. I am a Leo and I fit the description to the bill…which obviously doesnt go well with Taurus.. I’m out there, loud and proud.. He’s silent, behind the scenes guy..hahaha… He still gets mad although he doesnt say it I can Feel/Know it.. Anytime I have to cancel not seeing him (even If I am ill or my son or something with family) I know it … because he reverts back to his old way of not replying to a text or message for hours or a day..hahahhaha… You’ll know when he starts falling they suddenly reply to texts / calls within minutes.. But bruise their ego and they go back to ground zero.. But if you ignore them and just before yourself they are fine.. Honestly thats what they want to do..be left alone and brude. Then they miss you. haha told you they are the reverse. He likes you texting him once a week or he wouldnt call. Mine only calls if he thinks I am in some type of distress. Knight in shining armor ..lol.. I would keep being who you are… If you are curious how he feels, if you usually text on a certain night, switch it around or dont text for a few extra days. $20.00 he’ll ask you where you were or what happened.. Then you’ll know he looks forward to your texts and is becoming accustomed to you being in his life, because they do keep track of thier friends/loves and have to know everything!!!! I wouldnt pull back, I’d switch it up and stop trying… be friends first. Because honestly friends check up on friends and we pay attention to what is going on in each others lives. And you want him to be your friend, friendships last lifetimes..dates do not.

  883. #883 by virgo10 on January 3, 2010 - 12:42 am

    lionsroar.
    SO thanks a lot for your advice. I read your previous posts and you have drastically changed with your taurus guy, its pretty funny your comments.
    I will stop trying with this guy, and I understand that we should be friends first but its been 4 months lol and by the way i’ve only seen him twice!! kill myself? i think so. I’ve tried to pull away several times but I can’t, either he just comes back or its me. He’s asked me out but he has cancelled out on me saying he was “sick” or something came up, this has happened like 3 times… he has gotten sick twice in these 4 months…something isn’t right.. I didn’t say anything just said he was all talk, but he keeps mentioning that he wants to go for dinner again. I’m not sure what to say, obviously I want to but I don’t want to get stood up again. I casually joke around with him saying that he will see me ten years from now or something exaggerated and he just brushes it off or that he just talks the talk and can’t walk the walk. He is all talk so I’m hesistant to believe him and his words. I hate that I can still like this guy lol. I must admit I fell hard for this guy in the beginning, and I think he did for me too. He kept on saying that I was exactly like him and how it felt like he knew me all his life. We have awesome chemistry thats why I want to keep him around, I’m optimistic but I have to be realistic as well.

  884. #884 by Mia on January 3, 2010 - 9:12 am

    Hi Ladies!

    I’m still hanging in there and reading the great advice from Lionsroar, definitely you must think “friends” that is what helps to “ground” you and not take things personally.

    I started out and am still acting as a friend, even though our relationship started as friends, but he got physical with me very very fast and even up to now we are still intimate, we do have an intense passion that is very mutual. The more I try to slow it down, the more he wants me, so think that is helping so I can try to slow us down… but I’m scared it may be over now…

    Virgo10, hang in there, I’m a virgo/libra cusp and boy do I analyze!!! I think lionsroar is right about changing up your pattern and let him miss you a bit, he will come back around.

    It helps me to read Lionsroar’s post in that they like to “brude” by themselves. I think my taurus is “bruding with his tail between his legs” because this time, he was very much in the wrong and knows it…

    My taurus as I said in my post above, left me hanging on New Years Eve night, no excuse I know. But I seriously think he was helping a friend and let the time go before he decided he just was too tired to go, too proud to admit to me, too embarrassed, and just became MIA.

    I say that because the past two to three weeks he has been calling me constantly, texting me, and we’ve been doing things together.. think if I had turned him down last weekend, I would have balanced it as Lionsroar says, I rarely turn him down and that has been my problem!

    Earlier last week, he was sooooo wanting to play racketball with me, then he was still texting me about it, but 10 minutes before we were to meet he called that he just isn’t motivated. I can tell you that Lionsroar is right in that when they have something pre-occupying their minds they keep to themselves. He was worrying over a ski trip he was trying to put together with our church singles group, wanting me to go so bad, but I was telling him I could not afford it this year, then he called (the morning of New Yrs Eve! the day we were to go out…) to tell me he had met with the single’s group counselor at church who was putting together a ski-trip/mission trip and he was very excited and called to share the info with me (hoping I think that I could see about going…) but did not mention going out that night…

    I really think they have one track minds and have to “solve” their current issues before jumping to another subject.

    And I know he did NOT mean for me to get stuck with any money for the room thinking that I could cancel no problem… Just think he is a bit haphardzoud and slightly careless with some decisions and never meant to truly hurt me… and I do know taurus’ as my last guy of 2 years was a taurus, they are very particular with their money and spending… my current guy has never bought a present or token or anything for me…. we were just now to the point of him taking me to play pool, not dinner… and we’ve been together for 7 months… I’m still just his “friend…”

    He still has not called or texted, and I kind of ended it with the last text saying I can’t believe he would ask me out with no intention of going, saying this isn’t the “m” I know… I’m done.

    Lionsroar, Virgo10, I think you made a great point, and I’m going to have to force myself to move away from him. If he reeally had true feelings for me he would start doing things for me… he used to be soooooooooo helpful, wanting to wash my truck for me, now he was at the point of asking me out of “dates” yes he said it was a date… we would go out, he would be very intimate and now actually kissing me on the lips when he left my house, but don’t remember him “offering” to help me with anything… just texting each day asking that I’m doing….

    and now, he is completely gone.

    But you would be very proud to know that my HUGE step in a healthy way was NOT to keep texting and calling him when this happened. I only left one message on his cell and the text, so he knows I don’t do drama, I haven’t shed one tear, whew that was hard… but I miss him terribly…. I’m hopeful he will miss me. Once they establish a physical connectioin I heard it is hard to give up, and they grow closer? this has been very true in my case.. he is waaaay closer to me than he was and we’ve been together now for about 7 months.

    Any encouraging words I’d very much appreciate!

    Happy New Year to all you beautiful ladies!!!!

    Mia ~

  885. #885 by Jane on January 3, 2010 - 1:22 pm

    Hi virgo10,mia and welcome back lionsroar!!!

    Happy new year to everyone, hope its a good one!!

    Its so interesting hearing all your updates and dramas with these wonderful taurus men!
    Yes lionsroar as virgo10 said things have changed for you since you last here! I am glad things looking up.
    I havnt been here that long but boy have i come along way! Well it feels like i have anyway. The wonderful ladies here have helped so much in me gaining understanding and PATIENCE!!! We all help eachother and so good to share our stories.

    Virgo10, if you have read my posts you will know how me and my guy started out, so what i will say to you is YES, friends is deffinatly the way forward, me and my guy are now getting closer,slowly but surely, on his terms of course, i am understanding him, I am soooo much calmer, very ladylike and sweet he is loving it and so am i!!lol He is in touch 2/3xday and has even been calling more!!lol
    ‘where have you been? What are you doing? Where are you going?!!! He taking interest in me and asking questions about my family too.

    Over christmas and with especially his gifts from me, they really overwhelmed him, (his gift to me was wonderful too)my gifts represented him and he said his own mother doesnt even know him that well!! i think he was pleasantly suprised and he is realising ‘i get him’ i am not going anywhere, i am consistent in my approach and studying him like he studying me! I dont take anything personal anymore like him not replying etc (very rare now)i realise its how he is I feel him moving towards me and its great!

    He is opening up to me too, talking about his past, what he wants for future in terms of security, he wants a relationship(i hope with me) but he has other stuff to sort and i am aware of that and told him i understand and i am here for him.
    He came around new years eve we had a lovely meal together, he was seeing family after me for a short time as he up for work very early next day anyway, we chatted had a good laugh together and as he was leaving he realised he had a text of his family asking him to bring me along if i would like!!!
    He prev told me his family know i am still in his life.
    Well i was an idiot! He asked me to go with him,I said NO!!!! Dont know why, i was taken by suprise i think and not expecting it also i was thinking of him as he had to be up early.
    Anyway i was delighted that 1.His family new he was with me! 2.He read the text out to me(if he didnt want me to go he could have made sumthing up!). He text me later, and next morning said he wished i had of been there with him!! I realise i made a mistake there, it was a good oppertunity for me to be with him, see his family again and i blew it but hey just hope i get another chance!!
    I love this guy so much, hope we make it!!

    Mia, hang on in there, give him space you are right he needs at times to miss you while at the same time know you are there.
    Patience is such a hard thing to master believe me!! I am a virgo and really at times struggle with it. TIP…Study him!! Be calm and dont react It really does help and it will bring him closer. Vent your frustrations here like i do!! Like we all do!!!Good luck, keep us posted xx

  886. #886 by Jane on January 3, 2010 - 1:30 pm

    Saggi girl, Jess

    Hey where are you!!??
    I am hoping you had a great time with your bulls that you have been way to busy to post here!! LOL Hope you both doing well xx

  887. #887 by Taurus on January 3, 2010 - 1:47 pm

    dude(s) im a taurus (man) im not gay i just like to read this stuff cose itsssss sosssss kwllll rite?…….

    i have a feeling i will be better than these taurus

    excepts i wont be rude or …….yer ok wat ever….
    but i would buy gifts….

    loads…..
    and…loads………
    like so many gifts that are so kwl….

  888. #888 by Jane on January 3, 2010 - 3:39 pm

    Taurus
    Hey welcome taurus guy!! How interesting!!

    So you have read these posts i take it?? What advice would you give then? Can you explain some of taurus behaviour from your point of view?
    I have one more question if thats ok. What is your behaviour when you realise you have met the ‘one’? I know you taurus dont like to give too much away! lol Good to have a guy on board, maybe we can help you from a girl point of view!! lol

  889. #889 by Bella on January 3, 2010 - 8:22 pm

    Just ended a relationship with a Taurus man. Biggest player of the zodiac.

  890. #890 by Mia on January 4, 2010 - 1:46 am

    Hi Jane! Thank you! I’m hanging in there, yes, I have been very good to not “react”, he does know me as pretty calm, laid back… actually when he called to cancel the racketball that day, I told him I couldn’t get motivated either, lol.

    I left my cell at home and was out all aft today and now I see there was A MISSED CALL FROM HIM!!! I am soooo excited! ๐Ÿ™‚

    I think he already knows that I’ve proved him a great supportive friend, always there for him like you say and postive, encouraging with him. and even my text telling him I’m done was more of “this is not the m i know” … meaning he must know I still like him (luv him, sh, just don’t let him know this… ๐Ÿ™‚ respect him, just was not happy with his behavior…

    sometimes i think he doesn’t realize that his actions send me messages… like he’s oblivious to it…

    Jane, Lionsroar, Virgo10, Saggi girl, Jess (and taurus guy that isn’t ‘gay’ :)…. i truly think that tauruses or guys in general do not equate, not showing up for dates, cancelling last minute, not replying to texts, or calls have anything to do with disrespect… I just think they didn’t have anything to add at the time, or they really were sick, pre-occupied and it had/has nothing to do with you… guys are very practical…

    I used to say (at the beginning of our relationship), “I emailed you but you may not have gotten it?” He would say, “I got it.” and that is all he would say… man of very few words.

    and yes, he usually will text back within 60 seconds! which is very sweet… but sometimes it will be “k” and that’s all, lol…

    Jane, I think you are doing great with your guy now that you are ‘calm’ ๐Ÿ™‚ can’t you tell now when you are more laid back, relaxed like our beautiful Lionsroar, he comes around and look at how fast he’s forthcoming with you now?! that is very sweet… he seems very nice and he is very crazy about you!

    I think his behavior is very much like your guy when he thinks your the “one”… I think the taurus guy is veeery protective of whom they will invite to be around their family. I was nicely surprised when my guy has brought me around his parents and his brother’s family… (we went to my family land to chop down Christmas trees, he met my family too… but we were just “friends” or at least that is the way i of course view us… ๐Ÿ™‚

    I learned reeeal fast not to treat him as if I liked him like a relationship, because his behavior would confuse me… like Lionsroar, we’d be intimate but he would act like I was an acquaintance in our friend circle…. I was floored, but from that point, I just thought, hm, we do NOT have a relationship, so I will view him only as a friend. Since that time, my feelings do not get hurt, and this allows me to keep to myself and he does all the text initiating, and calling… I just answer back nonchalantly…

    Thanks all and Virgo10, you stay gorgeous as you are, happy and busy… when you start feeling that resentment that you are giving more than he is reciprocating, you STOP. and keep that ball in his court, yes he will start initiating with you and the focus will shift to him wanting you MORE than you wanting him…. that is when you will feel better about yourself, i assure you he appreciates you and will be more attracted to you when he realizes you like him as a friend, but not too much more… that naturally balances the relationship:)

    I at first was disappointed that he didn’t mention Christmas to me, no Merry Christmas, nothing… just what are you doing? lol and we went out the day after Christmas to play pool… not a biggee…. he hasn’t given me a gift at all… whereas my other taurus was giving me gifts the very first time he laid eyes on me… lol… so they are different. This one is at a different stage in his life and my other guy was more ready to settle down…

    Thanks again Jane! and I’m hopeful the missed call is a sign he is going to come around!!!

    Mia

    P.S.
    Lionsroar, Jane, please give me some healthy advice as to respond to him. I have a tendency to forgive too quickly, before giving it a day or two before I respond to him…

    the only time I was really mad at him, I allowed a day or two go by while he was scared of loosing me, he kept texting, “i take it your mad, i’m sorry.” where as when i give in too soon, he doesn’t apologize and treats me with less respect… if that makes sense…

    I know I need to realize when I expect others to treat me with respect that sends a strong message “i respect myself” which exudes confidence, independence, and yes forgiveness when appropriate, allowing him to be human (as would I want for me too) in my forgiveness, and we all make mistakes and do things we don’t really mean…

  891. #891 by baffledgirl on January 4, 2010 - 4:36 am

    Ladies

    I’m back ๐Ÿ™‚ Just last week or so, I ended things with my taurus. However, i guess when a taurus really likes you/wants you, they do whatever to hold on to you. When i ended things with him, i said i couldnt offer him my friendship at all because i was too hurt that while he likes me he likes someone else. He said hes sad about my decision but he understands. We talked for hours online and he tells me he want me really badly but the distance is just killing him. He said he would absolutely give us a chance if distance was not a problem. After a day or two, we kept doing the no talking. But then he tells me that things are over between him and the new girl. Ever since then hes been so attentive and sweet and said i love you to me. I know he really likes me and ive given him another chance. I think my decision to be more assertive and tell him that im not gonna tolerate him seeing someone else even though we’re not officially dating and we’re far from each other, gave him a wake up call that im not going to stick around. I itold hiim straight up i like him and everything but my friendship will not be offered because i cant accept him seeing someone else. He told me that i am the best girl and that no other girl can compare to me. I think thats why after just a couple days of me doing no communication, he wanted me back because he probably thinks that hes truly missing out on a good girl.

    If i learned anything from this, it is that if a taurus really likes you, he wont let you go. He’ll try to win you back.

    Hopefully hings will cotninue to go well with us.

  892. #892 by Jane on January 4, 2010 - 11:58 am

    Mia
    Hi and thankyou Mia. I think that is the key when you said ‘supportive friend’ it is certaianly what is working with my guy at the moment..Yes i am calm and soooo ladylike/feminine to him face to face/text/phone but boy there are times i want to scream!!!!
    I just really love him and sometimes his snails pace kills me! lol
    What is getting to me at the moment is all over christmas and new year, he full on with texts/calls ect even opening up to me and we have been getting soooo much closer even he said it to me,then yday morning sent his usual ‘good morning’ text i replied and he had problems in work, well you see that is when things can alter, i didnt hear from him again until this a.m,lovely text,lots of kisses! I understand when these guys have things on their mind they retreat but at times it stuns me coz we so close then its like he just forgets me!!

    I am reading things well and recognise when it happens but it still affects me. Dont get me wrong i know he needs his space and i respect that and dont expect constant contact but just as i feel we moving to next level, he pulls back!! God i sound dramatic!!
    Sometimes i wonder should i text should i not!! I know he appreciates me telling him i think about him especially when he going through stuff its just me being over sensitive at times and OMG a very analytical virgo!!!
    I hope you are right that he crazy about me!!

    Mia you are right when you say they not replying to texts etc is not them being disrespectful, my guy has never not turned up for a date or never cancelled but what he does do EVERYTIME we arrange to meet, we say a time and about an hour or half hour before we are to meet, he texts and changes the time!!! Yes, thats right, oh only to about 10/15 mins later but he is so hell bent on being in control that i realise that that is why he does it!!LOL

    Oh in the begining it would bug me but once i understood him, its fine and i DONT REACT!!LOL i have never said anything to him about it. It is funny though that he does this. So when you say you forgive too easily, i think if something bothers you, then you say it, nice and calm in your feminine way, and thats it,leave it at that! Dont expect a response, he will hear what you say and then you give him time to show you that he has heard you!

    I know my guy does not like dramatic scnes and he also needs time to think things through, he would not like for me to ‘sulk’ or ‘ignore him’ if he upset me and i think at times these guys although they know they’re ‘weird’ lol they just carry on regardless and mean no harm thats why things need pointing out to them (if need be)!!! lol

  893. #893 by Jane on January 4, 2010 - 12:18 pm

    Baffledgirl

    HEY WELCOME BACK!!!
    so you are back sooner than expected! Sounds like your guy has realised what he was losing eh! I am so happy for you, hope things going well.
    Keep us posted baffled girl, good luck!!

  894. #894 by saggi girl on January 4, 2010 - 3:35 pm

    hi Jane,

    you are right, i was very busy with my bull on new year eve and the new year day as he got drunk on new year eve and did something very stupid.. he became lusty and stared at some teenage girls who are wild-dancing with their boyfriend. He was staring at them and seems really enjoyed it.. and kept telling me that he will just want to look but not gonna do anything about it.. he kept telling me that.. that is when i know he was drunk.. he threw up after i came back from bathroom.. i do not know your bull.. but my bull is like to stare at some pretty girls whenever they are happen to be in the sight.. he told me that has been his problem in the past and even his ex-wife complained about it… i was so hurt on that night and told him that i was losing my trust for him…then he beg me to give him another chance and prove it to me that he can be trusted. i told him that it was very disrespectful staring at other girls in front of me.. he said that he did not know he was that bad.. he said that it is the time to break that habbit..then i asked him why he wants to be with me if he wanted to stare at other girls… he said it is because that he loves me.. but what a bullshit.. how could you love someone but stare at some pretty girls..

    he told me that he felt disgusted about himself for being drunk..being stupid like that.. he promised to me that he will never get drunk again.. he said that it was the 2nd time he got drunk in his life, the first time was back in high school.. he said that he was very stupid when he got drunk..he asked me to give him a chance… but i was really hurt.. and i told him that it might be good that i will go find someone who loves me and he could find some hot-chic that he can enjoy staring at.. then he told me that i love you.. do you even think that is possible..? then i throw some baby stuff and i told him that i want to have baby as my biological clock was ticking.. he told me that he was not ready for that deep level of the commitment.. we are boyfriend and girlfriend for only 2 months.. then i was like” how long i have to wait around..5 years?” then he was like” no, it won’t be that long.. give me 6 months.. then we will talk about it then.. if i was still not ready, then you can leave me.”
    i don’t know at this point.. but i do need to have time to rebuild the trust toward him…

    Aside from my anger.. funny thing that i would like to share with you: he was drunk and i was pretty mad.. he ws trying to reach my hand after 3 hours of half-consious status.. i refused to give her my hand.. then he said” baby, please, i am sorry, could you take care of me?” then i was like: “how?” then he was like” use your finger to comb my hair, would you?” can you believe it.. he was acting like a baby.. ( honestly it was kind of cute as he was a big guy)..

    aha…

  895. #895 by Jane on January 4, 2010 - 8:48 pm

    Sagg girl
    hey its great you are back!!

    I will first of all say that having read your post, i can fully understand your reaction. Believe me i would have reacted EXACTLY the same.

    The main point which i think upset you most which would have upset me too is that he did this in front of you, most guys do this away from their ladies its how they are as long as they dont touch! but i have to say saggi girl, i like his response to you!! I know i dont know him, you can judge his sincerity for yourself but this guy sounds soooo sorry for his behaviour, oh i like your reaction too as you are not letting him off the hook!! Of course he needs to realise that you are not putting up with that. Thats what i do think tho, that he realises that. He told you this has been his problem before with ex wife and to be honest he sounds ashamed by it and he did say he felt disgusted!!??

    I really do think looking at the bigger picture that this will be ok. I guess for you, as you have recently been dealing with the ‘other’ incident that happened so your lack of trust is i think understandable and now he knows how you feel, let him make it up to you!! HEE HEE!

    The baby situation, , i understand you have to think about ‘you’ and your biological clock of course is a concern for you but him saying give him 6months sounds reasonable especially as you have just said this to him. Some guys may run a mile, tell you to get lost, no chance or just keep you wondering, your guy is asking for time to get his head around it which sounds to me like a positive thing (for any man,especially dealing with a bull!!) Hey he could walk away now knowing your wishes but he isnt doing that,that says alot doesnt it!?

    6months isnt long and i am sure you will both bring it up again along the way.
    Sorry Saggi girl if you think i am taking his side, i am just visualising both sides and i think you have both handled eachother very well!!

    Yes i do think he loves you, he sounds very aware he hurt you, of course you know him and you have to feel and do what is right for you. Just remember your reaction is well justifide and your taurus more than knows it, his reaction tells you that.
    Glad you are back, hope you are ok keep us posted

  896. #896 by saggi girl on January 4, 2010 - 10:41 pm

    hi Jane,

    thanks for your understanding toward my situation as i was really hurt and cried next day when we woke up at hotel on new year day.. my problem is that i love him but i do not trust.. i told him that..he said that he will prove to me that he can be trusted again..i guess that i was not very secure when i was with him especially when he stared at other girls.. i do not know if you felt the same way..

    as for the baby talking.. i guess i got carried away with my hurt and anger toward him.. he was a little bit shock at the begining when i throw out things like that.. then he told me that he was not ready for that deep level of that commitment and we are boyfriend and girlfriend for now.. he will change his behavior to be a good boyfriend but not gonna change his thought on this baby issue when he was not ready.. then he said to give him 6 months to think it over.. if he is still not ready by then, then i can leave him.. as i was telling him that i will leave him for now… i do not know if that is a good thing or not.. what if he is negative after 6 months..then it means that i have to say goodbye to him.. i don’t know how i would feel by then….

  897. #897 by saggi girl on January 4, 2010 - 10:56 pm

    jane,

    i am glad that you are closer to your man.. he sounds decent and family oriented.. i am surprised that his family knows you and he even wanted to invite you to his family.. that means a lot for them.. as they are very secretive.. so keep it up.. Jane.. you are doing good..

    i am so proud of you.. very calm.. not like me with too much drama..

    happy new year to you and your bull..

  898. #898 by baffledgirl on January 4, 2010 - 11:15 pm

    Jane

    Thank you ๐Ÿ™‚ I thought i wasn’t going to be back here anytime soon. He’s been making the effort to keep talking to me everyday/night. He told me that he wants to be the best man that he can be to me and that he wants to be a man who can take care of me and stuff. Ahhh so sweet. Do you think he truly means all those things? I sure hope does.

  899. #899 by virgo10 on January 5, 2010 - 2:54 pm

    baffled girl! nice to have you back!! wow, looks like your taurus dude does indeed really like you, thats great news!!

    Thanks to everyones advice, I’ll try to keep busy and change my routine, I guess us virgos are very routine minded as well. I’ll let him miss me and hopefully he will get in contact lol I’m also kinda seeing this other cancer guy to keep me busy but I can’t stop thinking of taurus. Funny thing is that I was looking for zodiac info on cancer males and there isn’t as much info in comparison to the the taurus male, I guess these guys are indeed really messed up ๐Ÿ™‚

    have a good week everyone!

  900. #900 by Jane on January 5, 2010 - 3:12 pm

    Saggi girl

    I understand you feeling hurt and upset, as i said you had every right to feel that way and i know you love him. Trust is hard when you have been hurt, and yes your guy needs to earn that. No i cant say i have experienced my guy looking at other women,i am sure he does when i am not there!! I know it would not be acceptable in front of me or if he ever took it behond that!!

    So dont worry, You guys have been through alot together already in the time you have been with him and this is just a natural progression in your relationship, he knows you want him to at least be thinking of having a baby so if i was you, and to take pressure from him(you know what these guys are like!!) I would just tell him thats all you want right now is for him to think about it,your relationship and future and maybe you will leave the thought with him and maybe check in with him in a month or so unless he would like to discuss before!
    Its basically to keep the subject in the background but not gone!! Its important to you and if he loves you like it very much appears to me he does then he at least owes you ‘his thought on it’. You may find once he realises you thinking of him too,he will come around to idea.

    Saggi girl you can during this time show your guy ALL the reasons why having a baby/future with you is a good thing!!LOL I mean you could play this to your advantage and be the sweet,lovely, beautiful, wonderful girlfriend that you are and that he would be an absolute fool to not want all them things with you!! Get it!!??

    Thankyou for your lovely words saggi girl, yes my guy is very much family orientated and i first met is WHOLE family, yes the lot!! lol back in June so i was delighted that they aware i still in his life.
    Yes i am calm around him for sure but my god you should see me when i am not around him LOL!!! I get so emotional too believe me, he just doesnt know it!! I control it well!

    I’ll share this example with you, and this just got me so upset, What do you think!? For the last few days i have been feeling down, oh January blues and just reality of where my life is at the moment, just feeling sorry for myself i think!! lol Anyway i told him yday by text after he asked me how i was i thought, stuff these bulls and their (dont give me any drama crap!!)

    I just calmly said oh just feeling down in the dumps, nothing major ect… he text back ‘are you ok baby wots up’ well i kept it sweet and just said oh things on my mind weighing heavy you know how i think alot!! WELL, that was it, that was all i got, he never text again or rang then this a.m he text me his usual lovely good morning message and also told me how he couldnt get to work coz of snow he didnt even ask how i feeling concidering this is the very first time in 8months that he has heard that from me, yet i am always there for him!! I would have text him right back and said ‘i am there for you’ or dont worry baby’,It was all i wanted words of comfort to show he cared,was that too much too ask!!??
    Oh i didnt react and he doesnt know how how i feel about it!! I just miss him when i dont see him, wish i new if he was missing me!!
    I feel we have gotten so close recently, then all of a sudden it sloooows right down again!!

  901. #901 by Jane on January 5, 2010 - 3:18 pm

    Saggi girl

    OOps, happy new year to you and your bull too!! Hope its a good one!!

  902. #902 by Jane on January 5, 2010 - 4:02 pm

    Baffled girl

    Hi i am so happy for you that things seem to be on the ‘up’ for you and your taurus. If i where you i would just go with the flow, enjoy, let him lead and see how you feel. Dont look too much into what he does or if he means what he says, or is he being truthful. Its early days and you dont want to frighten him off,this guy got back in touch with you so that has to mean something eh! Be patient!!

    Relax, chill out and enjoy. Dont be too serious and have fun, you will soon know why this guy came back and what his intentions are, he is making an effort so in the meantime you be sure to let him know it was worth his while coming back and just what he has missed while away!! Good luck baffled girl dont forget to keep us posted.

  903. #903 by saggi girl on January 5, 2010 - 4:51 pm

    hi Jane,

    they are a piece of work.. that is one thing i am sure of.. it happened to me before when i was feeling down., my bull basically did the same..
    that is what i thought: when you sent the text message for the first time..he was concerned and asked if you were ok… then you texted him saying that you were fine but just some stuff on your mind… so he finds out you were ok and just think too much, nothing major.. then he thougth you were ok.. Jane, man and woman are different, i read a book and it was talking about the different between woman and man, it cracks me up: it was basically the difference of communcation style between 2 women and a couple.. the girl was talking to her girlfriend about runing into somebody at work wearing the same cloth she was wearing..she was not happy and complained to her girlfriend why the other girl at work buys the same cloth she bought the day before and went to buy for the same one… the conversation was on and on… her girlfriend she was complaning to feel for her and trying to comfort her like” jesus, i can believe she did that.. why does she do that, isn’t she insane…blah blah blah.. this conversation goes on for like 45 minutes” but when it comes to her complaining to her boyfriend about the same thing, he just said to her” oh, do not wear it anymore.” then he no longer listens..

    Jane, did you see the difference? The book says that man were built to fix the problem… not sharing your emotion… so based on your case.. he asked if you were ok.. mean physically.. when he found out that you were ok and nothing major…then he thought you were ok.. man took the face value for whatever you said…so, i wouldn’t worry.. as he concerned and asked if you were ok… that one should count.. so, that is why it says to share your emotions with your girlfriend through talking but not with your guy..only comes to him when there is a problem for him to fix for you..

    same as you, i always tell my guy that i will be there for him.. always.. but he did not tell me in exact the same way.. i remembered one time before we became official when i asked him to text me something to cheer me up as i was down, he basically did the similiar stuff… i think sometimes we got carried away with our emotion even after the incident. but i think man in general does not make that way, if they think you are ok, then it is done..
    do not take it personal, i like how your bull reacted to you.. he texted you and asked if you were ok.. it shows he cares.. do not get your emotion get in the way.. you are fine..

    do not turn into ME.. as my guy calls me” drama queen.” i know he hates it.. relax and continue to be calm.. you are doing good.

    keep me posted… i will do like you said to be sweet to him to make the baby issue work…LOL

  904. #904 by Jane on January 5, 2010 - 6:54 pm

    Saggi girl

    Oh saggi girl i dont feel so calm at he moment!! lol
    He has been so attentive past few weeks, replying to texts within minutes, (a sign he falling for me right!?)

    What is wrong with me i feel like i am losing it!! lol Yes i have been so calm especially to him,I usually do handle it very well i just miss him and want to see him, Oh god what do i sound like!! I really think since xmas especially,everything has been amazing, he seems to be fine without any plan to see eachother tho, so he musnt be missing me!!??

    I have experienced the last few weeks the part of him that i have been waiting for so i think thats why i am saying and feeling this right now.He seems out of reach even tho he texts 3/4/5 times day!!
    Do i sound over dramatic!!?? lol I just love him so much and want things to keep progressing as they where/are!!
    Of course i dont want to push things either and yes your right men most definatly do not think like women do!!! I do see the difference in your explanation and i guess your right with how practical they are in a problem situation!!
    Thanks saggi girl you are just great

  905. #905 by Mia on January 5, 2010 - 7:52 pm

    HI Everyone!

    On lunchbreak, no time to read all posts. Jane, Saggi girl, Virgo10, Baffledgirl, great to hear from you!

    I’m hanging in there!

    We are soooo not on the level of you guys, but he was moving sooooooooooo much closer, kissing me on the lips before and after a few dates, yes we were intimate, but he wasn’t affectionate… he was moving much closer, always texting within the minute! calling several times a day… i think he sabatoged it because he was feeling too close to me.. i don’t know.

    i had a missed call from him Sunday. that was it.

    he is probably busy at work and as you guys say when they are in their element, they forget about you.

    yes Jane, he used to stand me up a few times last June, but since then, he was fine… until New Years Eve…

    But I did like Baffledgirl I ended it, of course that was a huge… standing you up for New Years? geez.

    but I do feel very strong, very happy with my choice and even though my friend said never let him back.

    I’m not sure he’s been this close to any woman in a long time… so maybe he’s been hurt in the past and is afraid? oh well, the healthy thing for me to do is to respect and love myself and know I don’t want to be around someone who disrespects me. I didn’t even plan the date! My problem was he asked me to help him secure the room I did which was stupid, because he didn’t show and I had to pay for the room. Money I do not have… it’s bad.

    Well, I learned.

    I’m very happy and excited for your guys being into you beautiful gals! Saggigirl, I would have to think twice about a guy staring at other gals in front of me…. unbelievable. I only read from the post way above, but keep speaking your mind and know he would hate to see you do the same thing! geez.

    Keep strong and healthy!!!!! I’m learning to always love yourself first!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Love and peace to you, bye for now:)
    Mia ~

  906. #906 by saggi girl on January 5, 2010 - 8:37 pm

    mia,

    what is wrong with him for not responding on new year eve especially he knows that you booked the hotel for both of you and waited to be confirmed.. i would want to know his explanation for it..i would have been pissed too..

    i agreed with you that we need to learn to always love ourselves first and keep strong and healthy. As at the end of the day, that is the only thing matters..

    well, i learned from my guy too..i had a lot of dramas recently including birthday gift, movie theater phone number and this staring act.. it seems every time we had drama going on, it will be the time to move forward a little bit..we learned from each other and knows what to expect and what not to expect..he told me it has been his habit for looking at other beautiful girls even when he was married to his wife.. but i told him how i felt and he told me that man and woman are different, even though he loves a woman but he will enjoy looking at other pretty girls.. but since it has been bothering me that much, he willl break it.. i will see.. i mean that i understand appreciating beauty is human nature that no one can beat that.. but it has to be up to a limit.. i do not mind him glancing but not staring at them.. i know he means nothing, but it was annoying…it really destroys the trust i had for him..

    i am rebuilding the trust now…

  907. #907 by baffledgirl on January 5, 2010 - 10:35 pm

    Jane

    Thank you for your kind words! Yes i definitely am just enjoying the ride all these sweet things hes telling me are so wonderful. He came back after me threatning to leave him alone for good. No communication for only a day or two and he came back. Must mean something huh….lol. I will definitely keep alll you wonderful ladies updated and i hope things are going well with all of you ๐Ÿ™‚

  908. #908 by Mia on January 6, 2010 - 4:47 am

    Hi all:)

    Saggi girl, thank you for your encouragement. Yes, he kept saying for the last two weeks, he wanted to get a hotel room for New Yrs. He had been so attentive, even taking me to a church service. that was huge, because none of our friends at church even know we like each other, hang out or have a few dates. but the church service was later than he usually goes… but still I was floored and so excited that night.

    everything was perfect… we were slowly moving closer from 7 months, met his family, friends, etc.

    hm. since you gals are so good with a taurus behavior maybe you can help me… okay, saggi girl, and jane, virgo10 and baffledgirl…. me being a libra/virgo cusp i’m pretty much laid back, was more dramatic at the beginning of relationship, but natually calmed down when i changed my perspective from thinking “girlfriend” dating / to just taking him with more of a grain of salt… “friend” happy / and hanging out:)

    see if you can figure out his actions / why and if you think he will come back:) remember too, that his parents are crazy about me as I am them… they both gave me some beautiful flower seeds, the dad veggies from his garden last summer, and last summer, i was out with m looking at trucks and that same day, i traded in my suv and bought a truck just like his…. no, not to be like him, i’ve always wanted a truck because i love gardening, mulch, moving antiques, etc. so it worked out beautifully… m was / is so proud of my truck too and was telling me where to get it serviced, etc. and was even going to go with me to get the oil changed, but then never talked about it…. hm… not a biggee, but i’m observing him….

    also when i met his brother and family, his brother was all excited and so sweet telling us we should all go out to eat, etc. and after that day, m never brought it up again… hm.. not a biggee, but i’m observing him (sweetly from afar:)

    even though christmas came and went, he was contacting me all throughout, but never mentioned christmas, no gift and we went to play pool the saturday night after christmas… went back to my house, okay was intimate, but that is when he was the most affectionate i have ever seen him… kissing me full on the lips! and oh i forgot! the sunday before christmas he came over that afternoon and we napped together with him spooning me! that was so sweet…

    we also played wii until really late last saturday night too, and i accidentally left my purse in his truck… when he came back sunday morning on way to church, i was cooking breakfast (for a change) pancaked, eggs, bacon…. he called from outside my home for me to come get my purse, and i asked he come in and bring it to me… he did… asked if he wanted anything to eat before he left for church… he said no thanks, asked isn’t bacon bad for you? lol so taurusy don’t you think, ha… i just said if you eat it too much yes but i haven’t had it for probably close to a year! lol…

    but instead of kissing or hugging me good bye, he grinned and did a smalll sid punch on my arm and left…

    last monday, i said i’m going to play racketball if you want to come as you said you wanted to do last week…. he texted, “I do want to play racketball today. when are you going?” i said in just a few minutes. never heard back from him, so i texted, i’m going to play racketball and work out… never heard from him but seems he called monday night.. but remember all this while he kept texitng about wanting to do the hotel rm for new years…

    tuesday he said again he wanted to play racketball, then 10 minutes before we were to play, called and siad he wasn’t motivated… i laughed and siad i’m really not either… and that is when he asked me to set up the room stuff….

    i told him sorry i really can’t afford to pay half, he said, oh no, i was going to pay for the room! i was thinking, wow, he is coming around….

    when i told him i secured one for 209.00 he was fine with it…

    then he called tuesday night and wednesday night to ask if i wanted to go skiing… only one oterh gal from church wanted to go… at first i was jealous until i remembered who she was… when i asked him who, he said some older lady at church… i think she may be around my age! isn’t that hilarious…. but she is really sweet…. anyway the point is i didn’t feel threatened… just telling him, sorry i can’t afford it… when i did text him thinnking maybe if i knew more details… text him asking for more details, and get a call from the lady saying m asked her to call me with details… he has done this to me many times, think it is just a taurus wanting to help… just was taken the first time he did this… don’t you think he would have text back, “i’m having blah call you about trip:)” but nothing….

    then he called me New Years Even morning telling me he was meeting with th singles guy from church and said nothing about going out??? i said we’re still on for 3? he said yes, and then hung up…

    he was so insistant in leaving at 3 pm that day to go celebrate New Years….

    well I texted him about 2:45 pm asking he pick me up at 3:15 iif he didn’t mind…

    he text back a few minutes later (that is unusual for him usually he will text within the minute!) anyways, he said, that’s fine…

    then he texted a few minutes later… “I wont’ be ready until 5 is that ok?” I replied “Oh yes, that’s fine!” then a few minutes later, he texted, “wanna just make it 6?” (to pick me up at 6 pm when he sooooooooooooo wantd to go at 3 pm…)

    6:45 pm came and got a call from the hotel to confirm… I told them I would call them back.

    I texted him and said this: “Please let me know if you still want to go as the hotel is calling me to confirm or cancel. Thx.”

    he did text within the minute! just this: “still tied up”

    that was it gals.

    I was floored. that was his “message” he would not show…. i just know him…

    the hotel WOULD NOT CANCEL… i didn’t have the money for this…

    here was my text:

    “cancelling” that was before i called the hotel… then they would not cancel…. i texted him once again to ask him to please take a moment to call me as the hotel will NOT cancel and I cannot afford to pay this…

    nothing.

    then i called his cell. of course it rang, of course he looked at number and clicked off, and it went to voice mail…. unbelievable. i wasn’t mad, just “mildly irritated and very much NOT TAKING IT PERSONALLY.” i told him please give me a call or just call hotel, heres the number xxx-xxx-xxxx because they will not cancel, i can’t afford it.

    nothing.

    one hour later, here is my text: (i’m viewing my texts now… oh you would not believe all the texts about wanting to go, about what time to go? asking me again and again…. for… well.. nothing…. geez.

    here was my last text:
    “Don’t worry about calling me back. I’ve gone to a party. I will never know why u would take advantage of me by asking me out when you had no intention of going and having me secure a room for XXX.XX knwing i could not afford it when u wanted to go elsewhere sticking me for this. i do not know u. this is not the m i know. i’m done.”

    nothing back from him.

    except thought he might be coming around when i noticed a missed call from him sunday (this past sunday) but nothing from that.

    maybe he met a gal and just had to be with her? i just donh’t think so???

    otherwise, he was with his good friend the night before and i will bet he could have been helping him (doing fix up stuff ) he is always helping him with his roof, or hot water heater, anything… he could have volunteered… but seems he would say that he was helping him? got too tired to go… too scared to tell me?

    because he hasn’t texted me letting me know this, i can only assume he met someone and is gone for good…. oh well…

    still doesn’t matter, all i know is like saggi girl says, if i can’t trust that he will plan a date, but NOT SHOW for a date, then freaking DON’T ASK ME OUT ON A DATE!

    i so don’t want to be with anyone that does not want to be with me.

    Saggi girl, talk about trust… you are right about the movie phone number, the staring, you keep observing… i want things to work out, but you can easily find a guy that ONLY HAS EYES FOR YOU!!! sorry, i know you want him so badly like i do! and i should want a guy that “can’t wait to be with me!”

    Virgo10, i was in a relationship for 5 years with a cancer… they are not like a taurus…

    thanks for your support and cheerfulness, this blog is becoming my ROCK and you gals ROCK!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    thanks and sorry so long!

    i will break up the posts next time!
    mia ~
    remember, don’t panic:) remain calm cool and collected, blessings and peace to all of you beautiful gals!

  909. #909 by Jane on January 6, 2010 - 11:24 am

    Mia

    Hi, i hope you are ok. my god these guys are such hard work at times and do not get how messed up they act!!!

    First reading your post and especially the first portion of it it sounded to me like this may be going toooo fast for him!! I mean, it all sounds so beautiful, meeting his friends family brother etc, the flower seeds and they really like you and all. I mean lets be honest these guys would not have you in that situation at all if they wernt serious about you right!!?
    When you explain all the different things,church,truck,bacon and eggs,spooning!! lol all these things are what helps build the relationship and bring you close and it seems this guy is, initiating,liking it,stepping back.coming back for more it just sounds like whilst he has loved/enjoyed all these things between you both,he is scared also and trying to slow it down and prob frightened of how he feels about you!!
    My guy pulls back when he getting close,i sense it and its hard but god that ‘patient’ word is begining to bug me!! lol

    Of course i dont know your bull,but it appears too obvious that he is into you so what else could it be!!??

    Then reading the second portion of your post sounds again same thing except he has took it a step further,let you down and led you to believe everything is fine and dandy!! OMG!! No communication that suggests he doesnt want this room,he had every oppertunity to change things and didnt, yes he may have been with someone else (something you need to know) but it doest point to that it sounds more like ‘a taurus having a tantrum’!! You know,i dont want to go so i am going to act like an idiot!! selfish!!
    and at your expence!! (they just dont get it)

    I think for now, as hard as it is you have to wait it out and let him contact you just remember all taurus ways, doing things their way, on their terms, being in control,self centered(at times) selfish, stubborn….and the list goes on!!
    There is no excuse for his behavior new years and you have every right to be upset/angry and he knows it. I hope things work out ok, your story is so lovely before this.

    Chin up Mia

  910. #910 by Jane on January 6, 2010 - 11:35 am

    Mia

    You said such a lovely thing that we should love ourselves first!! So true, afterall if we dont love ourselves how can we expect someone else to love us!! True!! Thankyou

  911. #911 by Ariesgal on January 7, 2010 - 12:07 am

    Hello girls!

    My update is as follows….

    I had my friend over tonight-whose also a mutual friend of my Taurus guy- and he’s telling me that Taurus guy definitely knows I’m interested but won’t say anymore BUT from the vibe of the conversation, I feel, that its time to pack up and ship out. His friend was saying that he doesn’t really understand what Taurus is about when it comes to women.

    I thought that I was getting the right vibes from this guy. I thought I’d read the signs right but I don’t know. Still no present either.

    Hmmmm quite dissappointed and baffled. You know when you get the feeling that you’ve got it right?

    May he remain a mystery. My attitude toward him is that if he wants me then he knows where I am. Suggestions that ask me to make a move are out the window. My new years resolution was to look out for number 1 and that is what I intend to do!

  912. #912 by Mia on January 7, 2010 - 9:19 am

    Hi you beautiful gals:)

    Jane, thank you much! that gives me soooo much encouragement!!!! My friend from wk thought it sounded like he was with a gal perhaps…

    but I am like you, I DO think it was one of his selfish tantrums… honey I know that all too well… I do know him (and probably like other taurus guys) he will want to do something sooooooooo bad, then at the last minute, he decides he is too tired, too lazy, fell asleep, whatever… he will not follow through, he will not call, nothing… I know he has done this plenty of times with his friends, and with me… (in the beginning he did this… the first 2 mths, but for at least 4 or 5 months now, he has been very consistant, because again, he has felt “0” pressure from me, like I’ve earned his trust.) I can’t tell you how proud I feel that this is a break through. if nothing else, perhaps i may in some small way have helped him in developing some consistency towards trust and relationships even if we do not stay together, as much as i want it to work…. i value his heart, his precious soul and will always wish good things for him. that is more important.

    I think it could be two fold like you said… it could be that he really was wanting to go the night before… but he could have stayed up late and lazed the day away and then said oh he won’t be ready til 5 then 6…. and could have been just hanging out… or snoozing… and too embarrassed because he had no excuse and i’m sitting here thinking he is out with another gal… lol… but you are right…. his behavior would NOT have been that way if it was a gal… not unless he met her a couple hrs before we were to go???

    the last two weeks he was calling me and texting me more than ever, and making plans, and wanting me to go skiing, wanting me to go two other places in the next couple months, wanting to play racketball, go out for new years, kissing me on lips being more affectionate… the more he did this, the more i took it in stride, calm, sweet… and not acting overly interested, just nice and supportive, friendly, taking it slow, letting him lead… the relationship was naturally balancing… we were enjoying ourselves and he has NEVER felt pressure from me… to the contrary i have been the one to tell him, date others, date whomever you want i want to be your friend first… (i said all that at the very beginning of the relationship… )

    I HAVE NOTICED TONIGHT SOMETHING & SOLVED ONE BEHAVIOR MYSTERY THAT is becoming VERY APPARENT… whenever he asks me to take care of details for our plans, he stands me up ultimately…. yes this is true! one time he had me make plans for a camping trip, he was working late (even though again THE TRIP WAS HIS IDEA! and he wanted to go up days early… but had me arrange the plans, insisted on my driving up by myself he would meet me later…. and never showed that night! luckily i had my own tent, and the guy that worked there helped me as NO ONE ELSE camped that night. i was by myself! (the guy that worked there was in a cabin, we know them and he was nice to stay there to make sure i was ok) i was livid. that was early in our relationship and he knew i was so mad but even so, he was criticizing me! like using projection to get us arguing from him being late to me defending what he said about me… lol, unbelievable. oh and all summer, he made sure we split the camp costs, (it costs 7.00 for one night, but with food, firewood it was more, oh but he made sure we split it, but sometimes would pick up the tab on the way back for supper) i will never forget he showed up at 2:30 am the next nite… but when i saw his truck driving up, it felt like my husband coming home… it felt so right. i guess i feel… well… when i saw his truck driving up i will never forget my tummy turning, and i felt so in love with him, it was like my baby coming home. i wanted him sooooooooo badly. but of course, i acted non-chalant, and we both grinned underneath where neither of us could see, we’re both too proud to admit we like / love each other…

    so see? this time, last minute he still didn’t make the hotel plans, then the morning of asked me to do it and he would pay when we got there…. that should have been a sign that he wouldn’t follow through…

    and YES JANE… I do believe it was his way of saying I don’t like the way I’m feeling here, backing off… remember, we were both off last week at the same time… he kept texting and calling each day, but never made plans, except racketball and both times, cancelled on me… so we didn’t see each other all week…. it will be 13 days tomorrow (thursday…)

    do you see? i’m learning about the taurus subconscious or guys in general. if me (us girls) don’t slow down and start seeing him every other weekend…. or not accepting every third date whatever, then the guy will naturally do this…. even when consciously they want to see you…. when the time comes just before they will see you, they will bail.

    I do know him. I know him not to have any reason to be mean-spirited with me… not that what he did is excusable, acceptable at all, i truly do not think he meant to disrespect me and think he can’t help it.

    i also think he has been hurt, and doesn’t like feeling vulnerable. because his whole intimate style has softened with me these past weeks. i feel his heart softening for me, we are becoming a bit more genuine with each other…

    thanks Jane and all, I’m not calling, texting, nothing… of course, the ball is in his court. I do feel good. Because this is the first time, I’ve ever taken action for his or any other of my past relationships’ actions. it was the healthy thing to do! nothing works better to get a guys attention than a strong healthy dose of self respect from a confident, happy, contented beautiful gal who’s not afraid to walk away if a guy stands her up with no explanation (even if there was not ill will intent)… really I’m learning and using this to learn how to act in a healthy relationship on my part… i have a tendency to not allow myself to get mad, stand up for myself and / or to move back when i get criticized from a relationship. this time, i remained calm, but told him i’m done. sure i want him back badly. but more importantly i need to follow through with bad consequences come from bad disrespectful behavior from my guy. that was the healthiest solution. and letting God take care of the rest.

    Aries girl, you need to not necessarily let the friend of the taurus guy know you are interested per say… i might want to go back to him and say, you’re not sure if you are interested or not.. that will peak his interest in you…

    you gals will laugh so hard when you hear this… but another NEW MOTTO for me is this: “Mia, you’re not a wet slimy fish on his doorstep.” (don’t become that fish, you’re not a fish!)

    That means the best way to peak a guys interest in you, is to INCREASE his attraction to you… guys want what is seemingly out of their reach. don’t let him know you are his completely… he doesn’t want a slimy fish at his doorstep. he wants to fish for hours in the hot sun, days turn into weeks, on that lake, weekend after weekend, taking 3 seasons but FINALLY catching that 25 pound bass!!!!! GOT ‘EM!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Aries girl, if this is the same as a guy at your work seeing about a present for you? if I read your earlier posts???? then go back to work, smile, be very busy but very happy, smile at him, remember don’t act like you want to date him, don’t act emotional like you are flirty and want to date him, no, only act like a friend, no more than you liking the friend of that “nerd” that works close by too:)

    THAT is what will peak his interest…

    he will wonder?

    he will wonder about you what is occupying your days and nights and weekends… he will see you nonchalently into your work, laughing with your co-workers, he will wonder if you are on dates on the weekends…

    all of the sudden, one day, he will startle you, he will stand in front of your with the present… you will have “forgotten” about the present, and say “oh yeah, i had forgotten about that. i was just teasing, didn’t mean for you to get me a gift! but that’s sweet, thanks.” don’t mention you any date. don’t also say, i had forgotten you said you wnated to set up a date… don’t mention that at all.

    if you act this way, just friendly not initiating anything, just smile and do your work…. he will come to you!

    remember, the guy (taurus or not) should be the one doing most of the work in the relationship. if you allow this, not calling, texting much, two things will happen.

    1. suddenly, it will be him wanting you now, NOT you wanting him. ah ha!
    2. and more IMPORTANTLY, you my dear, will feel sooooooooo much better about yourself. you will feel so loved, respected, moreso from YOU than the guy… and your relationship will most likely LAST. the odds are, the more energy someone puts into the relationship is the one that wants it to work MORE. You want the guy to want this to work more than you do. nothing feels better than having a guy want you soooooooooo much! you can finally relax and not have to work for love.

    because yes Aries girl, Jane, this year, our new year’s resolution is to improve YOURSELF, by putting all the energy of love you have for him, back into YOURSELF. make those goals, career, new friendships, new business, new PASSIONS that will be EVEN more exciting than that date with him! believe it or not, this is what will send his attraction level soaring for you. when you find things to do that excite you just as much as seeing him, he loves hearing this about you!

    Keep being your beautiful selves!

    Have a “Carpe Diem” week!!!

    sweet calm, smile, beautiful genuineness and help others this week,

    mia~

    i’m not giving up! will NEVER, and am very hopeful, positive i will share good news soon… hopefully he is wondering and distance, absence does make that heart grow fonder… ๐Ÿ™‚

  913. #913 by Jess on January 7, 2010 - 11:18 am

    Hi Ladies!

    I’m back from the past couple crazy weeks!!! I’m ok now but I had been way tooo busy and so so so tired that I don’t really feel I had holidays… I mean I need one now!!!

    I’m not sure I can catch up with all the above comments…LOL!, but seems like you girls are still hanging tight with the ride?!

  914. #914 by saggi girl on January 7, 2010 - 2:46 pm

    Jess,

    finally, finally,, you are back… we missed you a lot..especially me…you know, the one who needs the help the most..

    happy new year..

  915. #915 by virgo10 on January 7, 2010 - 3:29 pm

    Mia!

    I love how positive and optimistic you are. I am also in the same boat as you waiting to see if my taurus dude will get in contact with me, its been a week, and considering that I’m relatively okay. If we are meant to be, he will get in touch with me, if not then I must move on. But you are right that we have to have guys that put more effort than us into a relationship. It can’t be just us. I am willing to meet him half way but he has to put a lot of effort in order for our relationship to prosper. We shall see what happens…

    Good luck everyone.

  916. #916 by saggi girl on January 7, 2010 - 4:43 pm

    hi ladies,

    i know it is hard to deal with them as they are a really piece of works.. one thing i know is that they do not like dramatic woman( drama queen), but they admire the women who would stand up for thenselves when they were being mistreated.. it is ok to blow off when you feel like it is necessary to do that.. it is always getting to know what is acceptable and what is not from both side.

    i have been through so many dramas with my bull.. he showed me his dark side and i showed him mine..i was really crazy and imature before..well, still am up today..we fighted over a lot of things, sometimes i was wrong and sometimes he was wrong. I showed him what i can take and what i can not. He showed me the same.. I know it is hard for a bull to change himself for you based on what the astrology said about them.. but i would think that they will compromise if they still want to be with you.. as they love peace and security.. so it is always meeting half way from both side to be peaceful with each other.
    up today, we still fight. Like he told me last night..it is not perfect but we have a lot of good things together.. he loves me even though i drive him crazy.. i felt the same way about him.. but honestly i have to say, i compromised more than him, i guess, as i want to be with him. i was doing this for myself not for him…

    i see a big difference right now between when we first dated and when he became my boyfriend now. Before, it was always like me making the plan and told him that i wanted to see him for the upcoming weekend. He would see me but sometimes he would say” i will see, i will try.. not sure, i will let you know in the morning.” but right now, it became rountines.. he never says” i will try, i will see, or not sure.” we just see each other every weekend.
    so, do not take it personal for sometimes they say something in that tone.. but when it comes to something that went out of line.. ladies, do not be afraid to express yourself, and let him know your rule. but i am not saying in a dramatic way but in a assertive way.. i am still learning to be assertive.

    good luck to everyone.. hopefully we can see more positive post in the new year.. i will pray more positive post from me at least.

  917. #917 by saggi girl on January 7, 2010 - 5:01 pm

    Mia,

    i agree with Jane after reading your story, it was a really sweet story especially when he was doing sweet things with you like napping with you in the afternoon…

    i do not know what is wrong with your guy, is he that busy for not be able to make it to the gathering with you when he is the one initiated all of those and not be able to inform you when he can not make it.. For the new year eve event.. i am with you that he was wrong. At least, he should act like a adult with courtersy when he can not make it.. it seems the bull we are with are either having problem in some areas or having problem in other areas.. mine never stood me up for the whole course, but his unsured tone pissed me off in the past.. there are a few times, he did not call when he said that he will, then i told him how i felt, right now, if he can not call , he will text me to let me know..
    Mia, that is how i see it everytime an incident occurred, i would see it as a way of knowing each other. If we both still want to be with each other, we better compromise either from his side or from my side.. otherwise, both parted their way…
    Mia, wait and see.. if he comes around, let him know you will not accept this behavior for standing you up.. if he still wants to be with you, he’d better act like an adult showing some respect to call ahead of the time..
    good luck with you…

  918. #918 by Mia on January 8, 2010 - 1:23 am

    Thank you Saggi girl, yes I agree! he was in contact with me the last few times he did stand me up, he was apologetic the next day, but this time, just nothing… unbelievable.

    Virgo10 hang in there. I’m dying inside too and it hasn’t even been a week…. but will be a week tomorrow with him standing me up. Stay strong and beautiful, with your determined positive outlook and goals for yourself:)

    So good to have you back Jess!!!! You Rock!

    Until next time, I’m going to work out now! part of my New Yrs resolution, to get strong, healthy and beautiful inside and out, mind body and soul…

    remember what this is all about… again, we are so much in love and crazy for our stubborn bulls, but we are all truly working on our weaknesses… whatever rubs us the wrong way (which may be different for all of us) is the very thing we need to work on to make us healthier… i see my bull relationship as well, a gunea pig on how i should act, behave and stay worthy to myself and respectful for myself so that in turn, my bulll and all my relationships will be healthier.

    Saggi girl… you see i think he is facing the need to stop standing people up and i am facing the need to stop letting him run all over me without me getting angry and going back each time.

    thanks all,
    mia

  919. #919 by LIONSROAR on January 8, 2010 - 1:40 am

    Hey Ladies,

    Sorry just got back in town. Anyway just got done reading a few posts… took me a little while but I FOUND IT! Here is the word you are looking for and one facet of the personality that you are dealing with. Seems to be a common thread; more common in the Bull….For many the man you are dealing with is what as known as Ambivalent.. We woman secretly call it male stupidity and a holy royal pain in the ass.. taking care of newborns is easier and they cant talk!! hahaha Anyway read it, bet almost all of u will say, “Son of a Bit## that’s him”!!! And in the same breath dealing with them morphs you into an Ambivalent person too..haha

    Ambivalence is a state of having simultaneous, conflicting feelings toward a person or thing.[1] Stated another way, ambivalence is the experience of having thoughts and emotions of both positive and negative valence toward someone or something. A common example of ambivalence is the feeling of both love and hate for a person. The term also refers to situations where “mixed feelings” of a more general sort are experienced, or where a person experiences uncertainty or indecisiveness concerning something. The expressions “cold feet” and “sitting on the fence” are often used to describe the feeling of ambivalence.

  920. #920 by Mia on January 8, 2010 - 5:08 am

    Lionsroar,

    Yes, yes and yes. I’ve been reading this book “dont call that man” by rhonda findling. that helps and actually re-read some of it last night.

    I do think unfortunately that i’m dealing with an ambivilent man that is emotionally unavailable to some degree and emotionally immature.

    here’s her explanation: he backs away abruptly when you’ve had a very fun, romantic special time with him, just when he moves closer, he does something to sabotage it, or just goes MIA. the women are constantly analyzing wondering what they did wrong. YOU DID Nothing Wrong, but be your genuine self and love him. but they seem to make you crazy sending double messages, leaving you feeling rejected, abandoned, and despite being laid back, you now feel panicky, clinging to him more… in an unhealthy way. his behavior is totally illogical and confusing and you may yourself crying often, so mad you just want to shake him (when you find him, ha!) wondering how anyone could do that to someone else. he is totally self absorbed, sometimes incapable of being sensitive to your needs, almost like no conscious, narcissistic…

    Signs of an ambivalent man:

    All you gorgeous ladies, and YOU ARE! go through the list below and see if any part of this relates to your situation with your ornery stubborn, handsome taurus that you love and so want love returned….

    he tells you he loves you, then starts a relationship with another woman (or is still married, or is living with another woman, or is separated like in Saggi girl’s case?)
    ( i hope not. in my case, unless he just met someone an hour before we were supposed to go out New Yrs… ? but never has told me he loves me, think he was moving very close to loving me so maybe he sabotaged us making me drop him with my “I’m done.”)

    he tells you he misses you, wants to be with you , but doesn’t make time to see you
    ( he wanted to make plans with me, did make plans with me, was making time to see me! except for last week… he said he wanted to play racketball but would cancel last minute twice last week, then the big one, planning New Yrs eve, texting me constantly about it, on phone with me about hotel rooms, then just standing me up… this is so beginning to look like he was falling for me, and did not want to go there (ultimately risking hurt he couldn’t handle if he were to proclaim his love for me and yrs down the road him thinking i may leave him …. or find someone else… this is common i think with guys… )

    – he acts sexually entralled with you, then seems distant and business like the next time you speak with him
    ( ohhhhhhhhhh yes, he used to act like i was just an acquantance at church, i was floored the first time, thinking oh we are a couple, and were / are outside of church, but he acted like he barely knew who i was at church, just passing me without a “hi” hardly… that’s just not right… but 2 weeks ago, a miracle happened when he took me to a church service, one our friends are not normally at, but hey it was babysteps)

    I’ll do more in my next post…

    Mia ~

    thanks Lionsroar, you are on to what I’ve been thinking with this… actually with all my last 3 relationships in the past 7 years…

    I’m going to try and see if this blog accepts HTML
    here

  921. #921 by Mia on January 8, 2010 - 6:11 am

    from my post above…
    More Signs of an ambivalent man:

    He doesn’t call when he says he will
    He is involved with another woman (or women) but says he wants a relationship with only you
    He cancels dates or is consistently late
    He stands you up
    You have an intense conversation where you feel really connected, then he acts cold to you the next time you speak
    He disappears from your life for weeks at a time

    He may be terrified of feeling needy. If he starts to fall in love and feel dependent, he leaves so he does not have to feel the panic and shame of his own vulnerability and neediness. He may have been abused in some way as a child. He may see you as all good or all bad, cutting you off if he perceives you’ve done anything “wrong.” You MY NEVER EVEN NOW what you did. (chances are you DID NOTHING wrong!)

    now if any of this rings true for you, read what you can do to get your sanity back and love him too.

    Work on your own problem of why you are staying with a man who drives you crazy and makes you feel insecure.

    Set limits. For yourself… and For him on his behavior… AH! She says, “You won’t tolerate his standing you up.” Stand by your word! (not “your man” ha) if he leaves and never comes back when you set limits, then he may disappear. This is not a big loss. Either way YOU WIN… (i wrote that!)

    You Win both ways!!!
    – if you set limits of behavior he is doing that is not acceptable (like standing me up)… as very well, he can call me on any behavior I do that is not tolerable to him…. he will either conform because he does love you and wants to respect
    you (you win, he wins – healthy relationship)

    OR he walks away (you win here too – healthy relationship for YOU) waaaay better to be in a healthy relationship alone, than in a toxic relationship with a guy that will destroy your self esteem, worth, respect for yourself… it may even send you going for a therapist for yrs to undo what he did to you…
    then she/he will write a book! ha… just like this one….

    Rhonda Findling’s “Don’t Call that Man”

    but don’t give him ultimatums, you don’t want to have to manipulate any man to be with you… you want a man that wants to be with you, can’t wait to be with you, and his words match his actions.

    Signs of a Healthy man (no ambivalence)

    – He invests time and energy in your relationship.
    – He calls when he says he will.
    – He is not trying to exploit and use you in any way.
    – He is considerate of your feelings.
    – He displays compassion.
    – He is able to listen when you speak. He pays attention to you.
    – He does not make you feel like you’re going crazy.

    A man that is not ambivalent makes you feel more secure in the relationship which results in this…

    You will know when you are in a healthy relationship…. this one is from me, not Rhonda Findling…. just from my experience with guys…

    Signs you are in a healthy relationship…

    – You will feel secure.
    – You will not feel the urge to call him (because he will call you consistently, you will feel sated, loved)
    – You will not feel the urge to get reassurance from him, no urge to text him to ensure he is “still” there…
    – You will not have the feeling that you’re not sure he will ever call you back like you feel he comes and goes, hot and cold…
    – You will not find yourself sometimes crying, frustrated, mad, at him and mostly at yourself for allowing someone else to have a hold on your emotions this way.
    – You will find yourself so happy, feeling light, feeling so loved

    You will also find yourself not having to concentrate so much on that part of your life, he will run this, and you’ll find just the opposite, he will be trying to pull you away from your girlfriends, from your weekly game of cards, games, wii with your friends, and your life will have passions that are just as important to you as he is…

    Your life will be so balanced, you will be so happy, feeling blessed beyond belief from God…

    I would love to feel this way with my guy, but in all honesty, at this point, I am just to the point of hoping he will come back to me…. this is beginning to feel like a broken record…

    Love and Peace to you and I’m still wanting to believe my absence will make that rubber band (my stubborn, somewhat ambivelant taurus) to spring back to me with more love than ever…

    Good luck to all of you, wishing lots of love with your taurus guys….

    I’m keeping my fingers crossed!

    Mia
    P.S. I’m beginning to think it may be over though… Please give me some advice here (Jane, Virgo10, Jess, Saggi girl, LIONSROAR, Baffledgirl)…. One of his best friends called me last night and tonight. I didn’t know who he was until he left a message tonight…. I called him because thought something was wrong with my taurus guy (like an accident or something) nope. he was wanting to ask me out because he heard that m and I were off now… ( I think m told him we are no longer a couple… ) I’m only assuming, I do not know for sure…

    i just said my life is busy now, but maybe later I may call him up… (like for a date. he has been wanting to date me, but of course I only want m.) i’m not attracted to m’s friend although he is a perfect gentleman….

    HOWEVER, I think because I never was saying no to m, always was available to him, not much ever cancelling or declining his few dates he did ask me on… ) that helped to kill his attraction for me…

    please let me know…

    i don’t want to date him (his friend) or anyone, just want him to want to be with me again…

    a little sad tonight… ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    but I will never give up:)

    Mia

  922. #922 by Jess on January 8, 2010 - 2:39 pm

    ++ Hey Lionsroar! Glad to see you around!

    ++ Hi Mia, welcome to the bullfighter club ๐Ÿ˜‰ I’m not sure but will try to read up to your previous posts…

    ++ Hi Saggi girl, looks like you are on a positive side now ๐Ÿ˜‰ don’t worry we all need help and help each other from time to time!

    Gosh I feel like dead, I don’t know what planet or anything to do with being Aries or any astrological thing that put me so much burden now and my health keep cracking me up!

  923. #923 by saggi girl on January 8, 2010 - 3:06 pm

    hi Mia,

    Reading book to educate yourself is good and knowing some signs which might reflect some negativities in your relationship is good too. But do not apply everything in your case, that is my thought. Everyone was dealing with their life in a different way which depends on how they brought up along the way. My guy grew up in a broken family and his parents divorced when he was nine. I can sense that he wants to be loved but at the same time, he is not very trusting people. it took a very long time for him to trust me…

    A few times in the past, my guy did not call when he said he will..but when i talked to him about it, he changed and being considerate to text me to let me know…i think it really depends on how he behaved in the past and how people really took it from him.. it might be ok when he dated his wife for him to behave this way but it is not ok for me.. then he changed.
    I think in general, you should watch if he compromise or changed when he knew some of his behavior bothered you or hurted you… if he refused to change or ignored it, then it was not a good sign as he does not consider your feeling.. i used to read a lot of book to educate myself, then it drives me crazy as i applied everything in my case, it turns out not even close to what he thinks..

    My guy likes when woman stands up for herself even though it drives him crazy.. he said to me a few times that i drove him crazy and he never deals with a woman like this before.. but he was learning.. he said that he knew me completely now. we are not perfect for each other, but chose to stay together.. i do not know where our future are gonna lead into, but we chose to stay together for now..

    Do not jump into conclusion based on one of his behaviors fit the description, you need to open up your own eye to watch and see how much he will do for you to accomodate you..

    As for dating another guy, i wouldn’t do that if i still want my bull especially when they are friends… but at this point, you wouldn’t think about him coming back to my life until both of you straighten out the rules and watch how he behaved afterwards.

    Do not feel sad..it will be ok. clear your head and stay away from those books as it will drive you even crazier..

  924. #924 by saggi girl on January 8, 2010 - 3:17 pm

    Mia,

    You Win both ways!!!
    โ€“ if you set limits of behavior he is doing that is not acceptable (like standing me up)โ€ฆ as very well, he can call me on any behavior I do that is not tolerable to himโ€ฆ. he will either conform because he does love you and wants to respect
    you (you win, he wins โ€“ healthy relationship)

    OR he walks away (you win here too โ€“ healthy relationship for YOU) waaaay better to be in a healthy relationship alone, than in a toxic relationship with a guy that will destroy your self esteem, worth, respect for yourselfโ€ฆ it may even send you going for a therapist for yrs to undo what he did to youโ€ฆ
    then she/he will write a book! haโ€ฆ just like this oneโ€ฆ.

    I like this… yeah, set limits of behavior..if he comform, it means he cares about you enough to change himself or accomodate you… that is the essense..

  925. #925 by virgo10 on January 8, 2010 - 3:34 pm

    Mia.

    You make some great points with regards to your post. I get where you’re coming from. Although my taurus and I are not at the same level as the rest of you guys, in terms of loving each other lol, he has stood me up several times. Cancelling last minute saying he was sick, had to work late, or something came up. I was very feminine about it and handled it as if it were nothing. So he still keeps bringing up the idea of us going out, but I don’t want to get my hopes high and ultimately get stood up again. What should I say, that way he gets the point not to stand me up without sounding demanding or jinxing it…. I know taurus men don’t like to be reminded about the past but I’m very hesistant to believe him when he’s stood me up several times…. I just don’t want to get me hopes up and be dissappointed again.

  926. #926 by saggi girl on January 8, 2010 - 3:35 pm

    Jess,

    i can not say that i am on the positive side with my relationship, but we are closer. that is how i felt: everytime, after some of the incidents occurd, we will become closer if we chose to stay together afterwards..

  927. #927 by AriesGal on January 9, 2010 - 3:59 am

    Hey Mia,

    Thanks so much for your advice.Its been taken on board though sadly, developements have occurred.

    The other day I walked into the local coffee shop and saw my Taurus man having coffee with a lady. He didn’t see me but I got what I needed and ran away as quick as possible. Trying not to jump to conclusions, I let it go.

    Tonight though, I was on Facebook and was spying on his page and spotted that he had a new friend. Curious I clicked on the name, and it was the profile of the girl he was having coffee with . To my horror, her friends were leaving her messages of congratulations for getting a date with him.

    I’m really disappointed. I know it’s only a first date but I recognise her from the nightclub and reckon she gave him her number. So tonight I tried to back off. I smiled but I didn’t really make much conversation. However, he kept looking at me, smiling at me etc….

    My head hurts.

  928. #928 by Mia on January 9, 2010 - 10:23 am

    Sad news on my end too … it’s over!

    yup, i told myself i wouldn’t cry… i’m crying. i am telling you as i sit here and all of us on here, the beautiful women we are with these idiots (sorry, mine is NO LONGER mine, idiot is very much a compliment at this point…)

    This is especially directed towards my fellow gorgeous gals – AriesGal, Saggi girl, Virgo10…

    It was a week today and tonight about 4:50 pm I got online to see if he had messaged me in my email account. he had on Dec. 30 just a few “hi’s”

    I wrote something so he would see it for when he came back online…

    I wrote: “I want to believe you would never intentionally hurt me.” “I was at work Sunday when you called and had left my cell at home.” (I found I had a missed call from him Sunday at 3:45 pm)

    He suddenly gets online… it showed he was typing, then stopped, then he got offline… then back online… then typing again… you would NOT BELIEVE what he TYPED TO ME!!!!

    “the call was a mistake, sorry.”

    that felt worse than a slap in the face. it stung and i felt as if he had ripped my heart out with no remorse whatsoever.

    Like he had dialed the wrong number!!!!! HE NEVER MEANT TO CALL MY NUMBER PERIOD.

    I asked to call him as I had to tell him something… His friend had called me last night, left a message …. I was scared something was wrong with him, I called him to find out. Well, his friend just wanted to shoot the breeze with me and said since M and I are off now, he would love to take me out to eat.

    that meant that m told him he is no longer interested in me, we’re done.

    he asked me over the phone why didn’t i call his friend back? i said why would i want to do that? he just stumbled… he was totally indifferent to me ….

    i suggested he was with another girl, he must have met her an hour before he was to meet me for New yrs or he had been dating her and who knows else allllllllllllllllll along…. ? he never said anything, that meant he did, played me, he was probably with her then… unbelievable.

    I told him, you know what m? you should know me by now i always wanted you to date as many gals as you wanted date, date date because i would never want a guy that wasnt sure about me… i said, maybe lets just sever this, i need to get out there and be dating anyway… he didn’t like this… he just stammered saying he couldn’t talk now, later… i said bye.

    he has moved on. he just did to me what he did to the last gal… and to the girl before that, always using them, dumping them overlapping to always have “back up” i was his backup this entire time. i have NEVER had a guy treat me this way…

    we were friends on facebook) months ago… then he changed his account (during the months i was with him) and I found out later while helping him with something on his facebook, HE NEVER ADDED me… he had added EVERYONE of his friends over to his new account but me! I was shocked and said, I can’t believe this… he acted like it was nothing and said, just send me an invite… I’m thinking “hell no” if you want me to be your friend you send me the invite…

    it was a couple months later when he was on local news, he wanted me to see the link and said go in and click me… i added you as my friend… i did and I posted a comment a very nice one under his manager’s comment..

    tonight I go into my facebook haven’t been there in awhile… HE was not in my list of friends… POOF, gone!

    I put his name in the search and he had changed his security so now he put on there, only shares info with certain people… like he blocked me! and then i could see all our mutual friends at church… but he used to have almost 70, now I could only see he had about 35…. and I couldn’t view all his friends. I was FLOORED.

    we had NOT ARGUED, everything was going fine! we were closer than ever…. and moving …

    I knew at that moment and now that I need to delete him frm this messenger… I need to do this NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

    This guy has been a pesky little nuisance that has sucked me dry emotionally, raped me emotionally, financially, and I will win.

    I also saw he made a new connection with another gal when i went on our church connection group. this was at 3:15 am with a gal that is 6 yrs younger than him… i am 10 yrs older than him. i know that is a shock, but i look a lot younger, and he smokes, isn’t in the best of shape, i don’t smoke, and work out religiously… i’m so not trying to be vain here…

    the point i need to make withmyself is that this has to be about my EGO.

    He is very good looking, he is so rugged, and he dressed like I’ve always wanted a guy to dress… my ex didn’t have that quality, but he was cocky, don’t think he liked women that much because he always had issues with females like the servers at the restaurants, his co-worker…

    I need to take a stand for my sanity.
    I’m deleting his messenger.. i’m deleting messenger, i only had it to speak with him….

    oh and don’t you think if he always wanted to do cam to cam with me that he probably was already doing this all along with other ladies…. ? i am sooooooooooooo stupid, head in clouds denial to think this guy was genuine….

    I just deleted with a SMILE!!!

    I clicked on his profile again and see his new connection’s name…. I came very close to one last message before I deleted to be in his message line sitting there when he clicks on with this:
    ____________________
    “since you and “xxxx” are now connected, you can roll me off your blacklist of victims you crush, abuse and use as back ups, dates to stand up, until you tire of them… sorry i’m not your cheap thrill anymore….

    oh a few last words… (…. remember when you told me that I’m the type of person that always has to have the last word…?)

    here some last words as not to disappoint you…

    Fuck Off AssHole

    Put that in your pipe and smoke it… speaking of which you smoke, tsk a very bad habit… i was never serious with you because I can PROMISE you I would never be with a smoker as my dad died at 62 of smoking…

    oh and also remember how you said I’m the type of person that “sugar coats” ? hm…. that’s an easy one…. I’m naturally sweet…
    _________________

    I didn’t say anything, just deleted… I would have like to have written all that above…

    AriesGirl, please do NOT stay with this guy, i would have died if i had seen my taurus out with another… and i would have walked out with a beautiful smile on my face… good riddence.

    you, saggi girl and me deserve a guy that ONLY has eyes for us…

    saggi girl my guy did that a few times… flirting in front of me kind of… making a comment about a beautiful girl’s shoes she was wearing…

    so ultimately this guy was just killing my precious ego… that bites. i would not have wanted him truly in the long run…

    singing “I will Survive… ” oh now go, walk out the door!!!

    i’m glad i did not put those comments on his message …

    he will see me as a beautiful girl that entered our relationship with class and exited softly, silently with this message (and noted he never responded…

    “wishing you the best.”
    “nite.”

  929. #929 by Jane on January 9, 2010 - 12:53 pm

    Hi everyone

    I have been unwell last couple of days,Sore throat and high temp!! YUK!! Missed you guys and OMG i have missed so much going on here!

    Ladies, reading and catching up on your posts, everyone sounds ‘low’ not a good start for the new year!! Whats happening to us all!!??

    Mia

    So sorry for you, my god i cant believe his behaviour towards you, where did it come from, no signs before!! Awful. You are so beautiful in your attitude and you post reads so lovely. Yes of course you are hurting, how dare he do this to you, so unbelievable!!
    You are so strong and you attitude is amazing and will keep you moving forward. This guy is a fool and going on his behaviour towards you, you may have had a narrow escape!! He is going to miss you, realise what he has lost and it will be too late! ‘HIS LOSS’ you just remember that. Good luck to you, you never know you may be back here!! Will miss you Mia, take care

    Saggi girl

    You are so right, setting limits to behaviour,if he conforms then it shows he cares!1 True. You sound alittle ‘deflated’ how are things with you? I know you have had alot going on last few weeks,good to hear you feel you and your bull getting closer… Things behind you,yes!?

    Virgo 10

    Hang in there! I understand your concern on trusting him especially as he has stood you up ect in the past, these guys act sooo weird at times, its been over a week, you waited this long!! Let him come to you. God they are hard work!!
    Chin up,keep us posted.

    AriesGal

    Oh that must have been horrible for you seeing him with another girl! Omg, what are you going to do!? Is that a daft question!? I mean have you had contact? Message? Hope you are ok

  930. #930 by Jane on January 9, 2010 - 4:09 pm

    Hi Ladies

    Can anyone pleez advice me on this, or relate to it? I would just like to know what you think and how you would be in same situation.

    Ok,well you all know my update, everything is going well and has been for a good few weeks,since before xmas.

    We have had alot of snow and over last 4/5days or so we have been so attentive to eachother and i have been expressing to him my concern as he has to travel far to work ect in bad weather conditions.
    So this is my situation now, as we are ‘FRIENDS’ i have found the last few days soooo difficult,i realised that while i can show some concern as his ‘friend’ i have been texting like we ‘a couple’ I mean, ‘let me know you got to work safe’ ‘let me know you get home safe’ how was this how was that ect ect!!
    The good thing (coz wot taurus are like!!)is he has been responding to me straight away and letting me know these things, i know by his replies that he has appreciated me asking and being concerned about him. One day he didnt respond when i asked if he got home ok (he had been having trouble with car ect) I was worried sick about him (omg get a grip) I was thinking all kinds of horrible things coz weather so bad.
    I text him again hour or so later telling him i am worried and that i realise i cant expect him to keep letting me know! He didnt text but called me instead!! ‘Baby i am fine,sorry i didnt text you'(how sweet he was) We chatted for over half hour about this and that he asking about me,family ect,taking an interest, it was lovely. He never comented on my concern for him although i could tell in his voice he so appreciates it!!

    I feel like i am giving him too much tho!?
    I am very consistant which i know is good but i feel he becoming complacent,almost taking me for granted in a way!?

    He knows he has me!!

    I keep thinking this guy is not going to move towards changing our ‘friends status’ while i am being as i am with him?

    I dont want to rush him i just want to stop the break in consistancy. I love the way we are with eachother, i just want to keep it moving as i felt it was.

    Ladies, what do you think!? He knows how i feel about him, he reveals very little to me! How can i be less ‘attentive’ to him without pulling away? I want him to know i am there but i want him to work harder for us, i know he wants it like i do. I dont know how to do that?? The more i am there as i am he is not going to try!? Right!?

    Ladies i do value your opinion , here with you ladies is where i get ’emotional’ and at times ‘crazy’ and of course he has no clue!!lol Hope you all doing ok.
    Keep smiling!!

  931. #931 by Mia on January 9, 2010 - 4:41 pm

    Hi Jane!
    Thanks for your support, I just wrote a long post myself to answer you and let you know he just texted me!!

    I will read your post now.

    Please help me with your “opinion” on my post too and I will try to help you as I read your post!!!! I so value your helpful advice!!!!

    Isn’t it funny? if my friend was going through what I’m going through, the advice i would give her is to drop this guy like a hot potato and don’t think twice!!!! geez…

    Here I am hanging on to him when he just wanted me for one thing I think! ugh!

    You hang in there reading yours now!

    Posting mine now too!
    Thanks!!!!! Yes YOU KEEP SMILING!!!!!!!! NO MATTER WHAT!

    Stay as beautiful as you are Jane!!!

    Mia ~

  932. #932 by Mia on January 9, 2010 - 4:42 pm

    Jane, so sorry about you being sick and hope you feel better.

    I have some news to tell this morning.

    I need your expertise to know if I have any hope whatsoever…

    I just can’t turn off love. My “off switch” is stuck, seems to have a short in it or something… lollllllllllllll…. hey you have to keep your humor about this!

    Fact is Love isn’t Logical…

    I love him dearly. I’m still wild for him.

    He just sent me a text!

    Please help me on how to respond… or what he is trying to do…

    I did delete him from my messenger when i was still up at 4 am crying and posting this last post.

    HE JUST TEXTED ME!

    Here is his text:
    “Why did you think that I was hurt or something was wrong with me when “x” called you? Don’t you think if I was hurt or something was wrong with me “x” would have told me? Did you call “x” back?”

    I’m not sure what he meant by “dont u think if i was hurt or something was wrong with me “x” would have told me?” maybe he meant “x” would have told him that he gave me a call???

    I think he is trying to leave me on a clear conscious and he is pushing me to date his friend????? so he won’t feel bad meeting this girl and wanting her now???

    i see he added her connection december 25 at 3 am??? on messenger… and from that profile i investigated, yes gals we have to investigate that is good for our protection i’m realizing…

    but I AM THE ONLY one that i can see on that profile that he has a connection with (or at least until i deleted it…)

    and his other post is there from MAY 2009…. he gave me a nickname and said he “wanted me!!!!!!!” that was when we first met… I think he was smitten with me the very first time he saw me…

    WhAt Do i Do, oh puleeze give me advice that will INCREASE his attraction…

    i do NOT WANT TO APPEAR AS THAT WET SLIMY FISH on his doorstep.

    I think “0” CONTACT.

    I can’t tell you how miserable it feels when u feel rejected AND YOU WERE THE LAST ONE TEXTING the guy!!!!!!!!!!! like he put that ball back in my court…

    with me NOT texting back feels like now I HAVE THE CONTROL BACK WITH ME.

    he obviously cares i guess or at least to clear his conscious.

    i’m not leaving here yet if I still have one inkling of a chance here.

    please help me to respond or not respond?

    1. Do I NOT respond to him on text, just forget about him in my head for awhile. (that is what i feel my heart doing to get him back…. )

    2. I could respond, but his text is showing he still wants NOTHING to do with me… his text is showing he just is concerned with me and his friend?

    (but why would he want me to be with his friend if he has moved on and is into some other girl now? he would be fine seeing me dating his friend??? eghads, how terrible…. )

    3. If I did respond, THE ONLY RESPONSE WOULD BE similar to Gayle Nicole’s “get that man back 911” telling him to let him know basically I feel nothing and moved on, please don’t text me anymore? that seems like it would NOT draw him closer???

    really she is very good…

    she says the reverse psychology is what DRAWS HIM BACK, HIS ATTRACTION LEVEL BACK…. i appeared friendly with him always, but he did know I liked him of course… now he obviously has moved on… without telling me, just dropping me…

    soooooooooo…. Gayle Nicole would say for me to tell him something like this…

    “yes, i called “x” back and he said since we are “off” now he would like to take me to dinner sometime… i told him i’ll check and maybe get back with him. actually i’m happy things didn’t work out New Yrs because i’ve been trying to find a way to let you know i’ve been dating again. there is one in particular, just not sure about him yet. i wish you well. “mia”

    Jane, Saggi girl, Virgo10, Jess, AriesGirl:

    I think if I responded like that, it would DRIVE HIM NUTS!

    He wouldn’t think I’m a passive wet fish….

    You only would use this if you think he is gone …

    Mine gave me NO EXPLANATION… and from that text, he has moved on…. he did not ask how i was… he did not ask what i was doing… he only wants to know if i called his friend back and that he is fine, not hurt… i think all this to clear his conscious that he is done with me, over. I do not think he has any attraction since this new girl… and I’m not sure I did anything to drive him away except “let him get in my drawers” and i should have turned him down more… other than that i just think he got what he wanted and moved on….

    please give me your advise…

    I’m thinking two things will get him…

    1. ‘0″ contact. NO response and DON’T call his friend. JUST slide out of his life. and REALLY start dating… (guess through eHarmony? Match? geez… i know i know i need to do this and should have all along! that WILL INCREASE my taurus interest if I DO DATE! and i will force myself to do this.

    (no, he never flat out told me we would exclusive. he just said in the very beginning he only dates one girl at a time. that is why i think he dropped me like a wet fish new yrs and is alllllll over this new gal.)

    2. the Nicole Gayle “get that man back 911” post:
    “yes, i called “x” back and he said since u and i are “off” now he would like to take me to dinner sometime… i told him i’ll check and maybe get back with him. actually i’m happy things didn’t work out New Yrs because i’ve been trying to find a way to let you know i’ve been dating again. i wish you well. “mia”

    You see, my response, or perhaps better, no response is to show him i am no longer interested in him…

    if he is showing no interest in me, i need to pull back and show even MORE that i am no longer interested in him.

    Ladies, I feel much better since he texted me. that is why i think my BEST response is NO RESPONSE…

    let him squirm wondering if i called back his friend….

    let him go.

    and live my response.

    get my cute butt out there and sign up with eHarmony (i signed on for free and I have had ecommunication requests!)

    still hanging in there, but now concentrating on myself…

    i am very close to really calling back his friend and just going out. he is more mature and he is very much a gentleman when i was attracted to “m” who i allowed to treat me badly… emotionally immature and i was and have been waiting for him to mature….

    but the tiny problem is i am not attracted to his friend, but realize i don’t have to be to just go out once…

    please let me know what you think… i think “0” response for now… just let him run through this gal like water just like he did to me…

    i am DETERMINED TO MAKE THIS A BEAUTIFUL DAY FOR
    MOI !!!!!!

    I’m going to choir and church for the first time since getting back into choir! and i am teaching the kids sunday school class tomorrow at church, those sweet kids are my sanity!!! and HE WILL see me singing in the choir tomorrow with a BEAUTIFUL CONFIDENT SMILE on my face!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    “calm, cool and collected… ahhhhhh smile”

    thanks for being YOU all my sweet gals here!!!

    mia ~

    thanks for your support!!!

    please know i’m also thinking of all your situations and wishing well for all, but mostly for YOU AND your happiness NO MATTER what guy you are “into” I want you to get ANY man you wish and want to see you with so much gorgeous self confidence you are shooing away the guys like flies! lol ๐Ÿ™‚

    my motto is also, “wanting my guy (whether it is this stubborn taurus or any guy i have not met yet) to know i’m so busy he will have to tackle me if he wants me, i simply smile and say, “take a number please:)”

    it’s been over an hour now and no more texts from him. i so don’t feel the urge to text him …. just to leave him hanging like he did me time and time…

  933. #933 by Mia on January 9, 2010 - 5:35 pm

    Jane, I just wrote you some advice that may help your state of mind about to post now…

    I put my phone on vibrate!

    HE CALLED ME AND NOW IS MAD BECAUSE I WON’T ANSWER HIM.

    he keeps asking me again and again if I called back his friend??????????????????????

    again. he wants to know to see if he is asking me out?????

    I tell him the truth???? that i did call him back????

    I am going to respond… but in a happy positive way!

    using this:

    http://ezinearticles.com/?When-You-Pull-Away,-Hell-Come-Closer&id=1622593

    please gals should i respond today, or let another day go by….

    he did with me??? in a way i want to leave him hanging ignoring him like he did me…

    he just keeps texting thinking i may go out with his friend… hmmmmmmm… smile

  934. #934 by Jane on January 9, 2010 - 6:38 pm

    Mia

    Thankyou for your lovely words
    Wow, you see he text you!!
    So this is my thought…

    He absolutly must care for you to text you about this, why else would he bother if he had moved on!!?? I think he still likes you for sure,why would he care if you went out with anyone else or not!!?
    Whilst i agree with you about maybe not rushing to respond to him, there is a ‘cockyness’ about you here lol(i hope i dont offend you) I mean you said at begining of post how you cant turn off your feelings and you want him!! True!? lol I dont think you should play hard to get,he be likely to walk away.I think he is just typical taurus in ‘backing up’ when his feelings kick in!! Remember these guys do what they want to do when they want to do it!!

    Yes you must keep a beautiful confident smile on your face,show him how strong and determined you are be good for him to see that,its good to let him see what he pushed away too but i would be careful not to give him the impression YOU have moved on by going out with his friend,it will be hard for him to want to be with you after that, you must decide what you want and go for it. Like saggi girl said, you tell him how you expect and deserve things to be,he of course needs to hear from you that his behaviour was so wrong if he conforms then he will be showing respect to you and that he cares and most importantly that you wont except anything less!! Good luck, keep us posted

  935. #935 by Jane on January 9, 2010 - 7:03 pm

    Mia

    You must do what is right for you, yes keep it lady like of course. If you wait another day who are you doing that for!? Is it for a game coz he did it to you!!?? Do you want this sorted now today!!?? That is your question to decide. You know the answer! Yes,i am sure you do!?

  936. #936 by virgo10 on January 10, 2010 - 12:59 am

    Mia,

    these guys I tell you, they kill me.
    Once they are about to lose something is when they panic and need to get a hold of you. My guy has done the same thing, first he sends a text when he knows he’s let me down saying sorry or excusing his actions and if i don’t respond within an hour or two they panic and call. But I would neverrr do that…
    I think you should call him back and just straight tell him everything on your mind, in a ladylike way. Obviously he is getting jealous, and I hope you don’t date his friend, taurus are very loyal and it would be wierd if you started dating his friend. Perhaps this is another test, we all know how messed up these guys are. Just be honest and straightforward with him, you be the bigger person and get the issue on the table.

    Good luck!!!

  937. #937 by virgo10 on January 10, 2010 - 1:00 am

    Mia,

    these guys I tell you, they kill me.
    Once they are about to lose something is when they panic and need to get a hold of you. My guy has done the same thing, first he sends a text when he knows he’s let me down saying sorry or excusing his actions and if i don’t respond within an hour or two they panic and call. But I would neverrr do that…
    I think you should call him back and just straight tell him everything on your mind, in a ladylike way. Obviously he is getting jealous, and I hope you don’t date his friend, taurus are very loyal and it would be wierd if you started dating his friend. Perhaps this is another test, we all know how messed up these guys are. Just be honest and straightforward with him, you be the bigger person and get the issue on the table.

  938. #938 by AriesGal on January 10, 2010 - 1:23 am

    Wow, lots of drama.

    Ok Mia, its a tricky situaiton about the whole texting situation. It could mean that he cares about you still BUT lt us not foget the ego that a man carries around with him. I’ve been here. I’ve gone out with a guy for a while, it ends and he continues to ask about the new potentials who start asking me out. Well this happened with the last guy more so than others as we were in the same friends group. Your man is all in a tizz now because theres another male around who sees how awesome you are. I suggest you have zero contact with your Taurus man. Keep the mystery alive for him. Don’t do it as a ploy to win him but a showcase tat demonstrates that you don’t need him and his games!

    I’m ok about my current situation. What I did was the folowing. I thought about it and took it as a first date that shouldn’t be worth getting stressed over. He’s mine in my heart but not in practice because I’ve been shying away from being more upfront and asking him out like my gut has been telling me for the past few months. This girl swooped in but it doesn’t mean she’s gonna win him. So what I did was email him telling him that I’d been meaning to ask him out for coffee or a drink for these past few months as it’s clear that I’m interested in him and gave him my number. Bold, nonsensical but can’t belive I’ve been wasting so much time out of fear from the past relationship. If the past few months were right in my estimation then I shouldn’t have anything to worry about. If nothing happened then I know that the move was made and that it wasn’t supposed to be. When it’s supposed to happen, it’s never too late… right?

  939. #939 by Mia on January 10, 2010 - 5:12 am

    My drama continues:) I think I did something that made my attraction sky rocket for him will post this next… Thanks Jane, Saggi Girl, Virgo10 and Aries girl!!!

    Aries girl, NOPE nothing is EVER too late! I think he (taurus) appreciates bold moves but in a non-chalent no biggee kind of way… if you were “ho-hum” about the email you sent you were fine… I’m not sure if you flat out told him you were interested… i probably would not, however, if by chance you did state you were interested in him.. I would be very happy when he sees me… stay very focused on ur work (you work with him right?) and don’t mention your email… if your paths happen to cross AND ALLOW THIS… do not deliberately drop a pencil in front of him or anything… lol… if he smiles and says “hello” DO NOT MENTION your email to him…

    That way he can tell it isn’t a big deal to you either way… guess what will happen? you will see a call from him.

    and if you ever do… PLEASE PLEASE my dear Aries girl DO NOT pick up the first time… you want to see a missed call from him on your cell.

    and BE PATIENT !!!

    I can promise you I thought I would DIE if I knew my taurus was interested in another girl, well guess what, I didn’t DIE!

    As a matter of fact, I found strength, gumption I never knew I had! making me MORE DETERMINED to not give up!

    so please be patient, allow this guy to date her or anyone else, while you are working on your sleep! (i need to get to bed here) working on your goals! (have a 5 yr plan, a 1 yr plan, a daily plan where you plan each day setting tiny goals and accomplishing them.)

    Think of something you’ve been wanting to do…. a fun thing… and go for it. learning an instrument, join a bowling league (really it is fun! i did this), make jewelry (this is my current passion!), play the piano, anything!

    Then when your cell rings the 2nd time, pick up… smile as you talk! (you will already I know) but don’t sound too overly eager to hear from him…

    if he suggests going out for coffee, whatever, you let him know what day works best for you, or if you’re busy you can say, “I’m busy this weekend, but am available the next if that works for you?” something like that…

    I’ve learned two things, the slower you go in a relationship, the more successful it is… I needed to go waaay slower, I was allowing “warp speed” with my guy, that was killing it slowly, I said yes way too much…

    and always try be one step behind him… if he pulls back, you pull back more… you want to stay just out of his reach… that is what balances it, remember he really does want to do all the work.

    and lastly, keep a well rounded life with balance because if you do, then you have EVERYTHING you need so much so that he feels “0” pressure. I’m learning to vent through this and you gals, keeping my emotions, anxiety, impatience with him in check.

    Taurus and any man want to have the pleasure of doing the work. John Gray, Venus and Mars dating book is good. He says that the guy will start to loose respect for the gal and that the guy wants for the opportunity to court you… that is what keeps him happy, your support, admiration, appreciation, not mothering or nurturing, or giving advice, fixing him.

    I learned this the hard way, when my guy was looking for a boat, I looked up all this research and gave it to him, I brought extra blankets, pillows camping in case he didn’t have them… always accomodating.. I thought he would like this. I got “0” response from him and it killed his attraction for me…

    He even told me “Yes Mother” sarcasticly, he said I was way too accomodating and remember we were not “technically” a couple or dating… just two people camping well, to me it was FWB. argh. never do that again…

    Good luck to you and you can do this.

    I will tell you in my next post that all isnt’ lost yet… ๐Ÿ™‚

    Mia ~

  940. #940 by Mia on January 10, 2010 - 5:44 am

    I did call him!

    I had my phone on vibrate, so while I posted the above this morning, he had called me on my cell and then the phone was ringing… I ran downstairs(caller ID) yup it was him!!!! lol

    I DID NOT ANSWER then…. that is when I looked at my cell and saw his missed call… and 2 texts and a missed call!

    “well did you?”

    “did you call “x” back?”

    now remember I had already told him I called him back last night when I asked to call him. he was soooo agitated last night, argumenative…. because remember i did things wrong!

    I got on messenger and then I said, “I know you didn’t intentionally mean to hurt me.” and then telling him about the missed call… that is when he said the call was a mistake… now I know it was not!

    I should not have texted him, argh! then I ask to call him? am I an idiot? er… yup. I should have stood my ground … he stood me up and I am texting him???? you see I am just as sick here… that screamed oh please do not leave me… it killed his respect and attraction… he refused to talk about the night he stood me up… refused to talk about whether it was because of a girl, he DID NOT deny it, he finally kind of halfway admit it just to get to my story of his friend calling me and me thinking something was wrong with him….

    Ah ha! Ah ha! I just NOW realized!!! I am beginning to think that he was thinking me telling him I thought that there was something wrong with him was a lie… Like I made it up just to have an excuse to call his friend back. unbelievable.

    because of the text first thing this morning asking why I would think he was hurt? maybe he is thinking she really is ligit. maybe I can be trusted.. maybe I am too good to be true, that I encourage him to date? testing me to see if I am trustworthy… by not calling or accepting dates from his friend?

    I sent him a text before I called him:
    “Yes I called him. Very busy day. Hope all is well with you… told him working on several cool projects, will be busy the next few weeks, wishing you the best as i will be out of touch. peace to you always, ‘mia'”

    he texted back:
    when did you call “x” ?
    another text:
    busy (like what is the busy crap, i’m guessing, I think he hates the “chit chat” crap… and if he isn’t interested, he doesn’t respect me, anything about “me” means “0” to him…

    then he tried calling me… next text:
    Call me

    in next post…. so sorry for the long posts!

  941. #941 by Mia on January 10, 2010 - 7:13 am

    then…

    I did indeed call him and he did not pick up. I hung up.

    Then he called me back! the call works better when he calls me because… He sets the tone and that helps… he leads…

    he said “hey” and said, “hey” he asked what I was doing!!!

    I said I was taking “r” to the airport (my daughter) going back to calif. he said she is leaving for good? I said yes, we’re not too happy about it, but it is what she wants to do… he just sighed a sweet emphathetic sigh kind of… then he immediately said, you lied, you said you didn’t call him back… I stopped him right then and there!

    I said, uh uh, what is this with “x”??? what is with you???? yes we argue, yes he cuts off my sentences with I’m not going there with you… I said, “listen m, what is with this you act like you like me, ask me out, use me for “s”, stand me up, pawn me out to your friend??? are you kiddin me? well he kept interupting me raising his voice, i am raising my voice… telling him

    I WAS LIVID…. saying listen to me, “i never asked for any of this, you ask me out, we date, i’m thinking all is well and good, you stand me up, meet someone else, you spend new years with some gal AND NOW YOU WANT ME TO GO OUT WITH YOUR FRIEND???” like are you kidding me???

    why on earth do you want me to go out with your friend???

    he said, you can do what you want, it’s none of my business, i don’t care whether you go out with him or not…

    I’m like “why on earth do you freaking date me, act like you like me, use me… what happened ?????

    he never would admit to another girl “but did NOT DENY IT…

    he just yelled, we’re done okay, stop, we’re just friends i’m done, we argued too much we argue too much… that is his line…

    hm…. we hadn’t had any arguments, only the night early december when he asked me out, wanted to go to a movie… then texted me asking what I’m doing at about 5:30 pm this night and asked if I wanted to play pool with him and his friend, yes the same friend….

    my problem was, DON’T ASK ME OUT to a movie, then dont’ confirm date, but wait until almost 6 pm to ask what I am doing? and if I want to go “meet” up with him and his friend for pool ???? he did this lots.

    I was frantically getting the house ready for him to see the cool christmas lites, well he called and hung up on me got angry because I said, it doesn’t appear he really wanted to go on a date??? when you want me to play pool with you and a friend? he got angry at me! at me??? ask me out, that implies coming to pick me up then go out, no i do not meet dates halfway….

    when i was firm he got angry and said ‘YOU believe what you want, i don’t care, i’m hanging up!!!! ” click. I was so mad, hurt, and determined… i wound up going to play pool myself and they were there! I played with them, and he spoke to me “as a friend” but he stayed distant all week.

    when I was firm today, standing firm, telling him DO NOT ASK ME OUT DATE ME, USE ME FOR :”S: ACT LIKE YOU LIKE ME, THEN STAND ME UP AND PAWN ME OUT TO YOUR FRIEND… I was not screaming, just firm like him, we were both talking at once… he said, i’m done it’s over! I said fine! he said bye and i did too… just as eager to slam down the phone as him…. it was not pretty!

    he texted immediately! “Please do not call me and I will not call you.”

    that sealed it for me. he was telling me “go away!”

    here is what I wrote: Appreciate that. we did argue too much ur right, i agree. wishing you the best m. ur a great guy. so “x” wants to go out with me. that’s nice. I won’t contact u and u don’t contact me. Thank u. “mia”

    20 minutes later he texts back! Then why are you still texting me

    then another text: (another glaring observation here… normally his spelling is terrible! no i was thinking he was dyslexic, really i think he may have that… but today his spelling was perfect. hm, can’t figure that out…)

    here is what he texted: A prime example of you. Always getting the last word. Somehow you have it in your heart that you have to get the last word in I don’t know why but you do”

    hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…. notice he said “heart” not head… and why did he say the last sentence in present tense??? subconsciously doesn’t want to totally loose me? and this is one of his longest texts to me…

    most are very indifferent with one letter like “k” or “yeah”

    this is a good sign… anger. if he was totally indifferent to me, he would not have been texting, calling so much from when i first started yesterday at 5:30… hm…

    when I got that text! I was still so livid. I was mad at him.

    I suddenly had the urge to tell him to “f#$# off” and tell him good riddance because standing me up is a DEAL BREAKER…

    the cool thing was in that moment I HAD NOTHING TO LOOSE! WE WERE OVER. so I wasn’t afraid he would leave me!! so I could allow my anger to show to him.

    I suddenly remembered how turned on my other friend (who likes me but I told him I just like him as a friend… but he is the coolest friend (another chapter)) when I would pretend and say something mean, angry feisty he loved it, it was like I had spunk.

    So I texted:
    Smartass

    lol… It was clear, short (he loved short and to the point) concise, he KNOWS HE IS… and when we were last camping this summer he got mad because I was making a comment from him getting mad at me or something… he said this in front of “s” and “s” our friends that run the campsite…. he said, “Listen M. in this relationship there is room for only one Smartass.” inscinuating himself…. with a grin…

    so I am thinking that blew him away since I’m always too syrupy sweet … I allowed my true self to come out… and it felt so good, because calling him / it like it is means from now on, I’m not taking NOR buying, NOR eating ‘xhit” for when someone stands me up! no brainer. nope.

    i think with my last “word” my attraction went way up in his eyes, and I think he suddenly had some respect for me… like wow, she isn’t acting like a pushover anymore…. she isn’t begging for me to take her back? she didn’t say she wanted to date my friend? she for the first time suggested i may have a girl on the side, or many??? and not only does she not care, she is just as eager to end this too???

    I think he may have grinned or busted out laughing when he saw my “last word”

    then I was afraid he would call me very bad names, or scream LEAVE ME ALONE, or nothing….

    He did text again!!!! here is his text:
    last word

    I laughed sooooooooooooo hard!!!!!!!!!!!! lollllllllll

    now do you see why I am crazy in love with my “smartass” ??

    he will see me smiling and very confident in the church choir tomorrow….

    I’m letting him go totally. and now it is time to work on feisty “mia” who is cutting all contact with him… letting go and allowing pain, grief, tears, angst, rage because i did not ask for him to come into my life, he just appeared, i was totally smitten from the first time i saw him.

    in the moment i first met him within a church meeting i quietly, ever so slightly, looked up and whispered, ‘thank you God.’

    he was the most handsome man i’d ever seen.

    and here is our style: i found this out on the web:
    I think one of the ways that guys do show us they like us is… to be mean to us.. you know like they did in grade school. I have a guy right now that is sooooo arguemenative with me, just for no reason. Just to argue… He comes over to me at work and picks at me, for no reason. He is always looking at me. I will look at him, he will look at me, then smile. He is just one of those guys that is just like a little kid. PICK and be MEAN. Several people have said if they didn’t know better they would swear we were married!!! We fight like an old married couple. He says I frusterate him, and vise versa. Its crazy! But I know he likes me. He just can’t admit it. Some guys are that way, you know if he likes you if he throws rocks at you… LOL or pulls your hair, LOL anyway. Thats just one way to tell…

    when I splashed water on him in our canoe, he said, that does it missy, and pushed me out…. he of course told me he was not trying to hurt me..

    and he kept on and on about something and the people near us kept saying, ‘you both act like you like this, you both act like your married!’

    nite all and keeping up positive thoughts for you…

    from now on, i’m allowing anger and will respect myself for what i will or will not stand for … i will allow consequences for behavior iinstead of being passive and walking on eggshells so he or anyone else will never abandon me…

    feeling empowered and smiling….

    remember to stay calm, cool and collected… confident and smile! i think all our taurus guys are head over heels in love but too afraid to admit it…

    mia

    jane, i so appreciate your post, that made me feel 100% better!!! bless you… Aries girl, Virgo10, thank you so much for your encouraging words!!! all your comments are my comfort, my hope…

  942. #942 by Lionsroar on January 10, 2010 - 3:07 pm

    Mia

    Wow welcome to the Crazy Train and sister you have the speedy pass working, no standing in light..right on the ride. hahaha….. I just finished reading what has happened in your world..All these little tests of life. I’d give you a A+.

    Couple of things I’ve learned in over 40 years of living. First and foremost.. try, try, try not to react. The first 24 – 48 hours everyone is operating on pure emotion. It’s a verbal/texting/calling dance.. they move left, you move right, they move left, you move right… You are doing the right thing… STEP OUT OF IT. Step away, give yourself that cool down period to align yourself. And I mean ALL of yourself; your divine spirit, ego, heart, thoughts, mind and soul. Usually after 2 days when you look back on a situation it looks totally different. “look at it from a different perspective, and it becomes different”.. Also it’s choice time. Do you want to be right? or do you want to be happy?. I know Both!! hahaha. But really think about the questions.. For you being right I would guess is how you want to be treated because if you are not being treated well you’ll never be happy. Also my dear follow YOUR HEART. Am I talking about that cute bull that you thanked god for? No I am talking about YOU. You MUST LOVE AND RESPECT YOURSELF. You need to follow your heart as it pertains to you first and formost. You sound strong and I know that this makes your heart hurt and it ‘feels’ like real pain. But honestly it is not, it is ’emotional’ pain. It is thoughts that creep into your mind, it is your ego that is thought-hurt. Step back and realize you have your health, your church, your job and you are perfect just as god intended you to be. What you desire in life will come to you, it’s just on Gods time.. be patient, maybe this guy was suppose to do this so that you come in contact with who you are meant to be with. Maybe he is the one.. Just breath sister. And always, always sleep on it. Do what your doing get on the web, call a friend anything but do not react. You may or may not remeber what a person said or did while being on this eart but you will ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW THEY MADE YOU FEEL. *Go through your lessons in life allowing everyone to remember you for being the wonderful person you are for making everyone find something good in them and special, even if they dont do the same for you. Dont play verbal judo. Best to you (and everyone)

  943. #943 by Mia on January 10, 2010 - 7:46 pm

    Lionsroar,

    I’m starting to read your post, and my tears are overwhelming my eyes, my flood of emotions is like a river I’ve been through sooooooooo much the past few weeks, and …

    just need to grieve.

    i want to write this and post before i read your post and so appreciate you and giving all of you hugs now!!!

    here is what i’m feeling now after yesterday…

    1.) sadness (in the true sense of the word)
    2.) so much hurt, soooooo much pain in my heart, it aches so… crying…
    3.) and a HUGE HUGE feeling of CONFUSION as to his total 180 behavior change…
    4.) ANGER – as to why he felt he could not communicate with me.
    5.) and now I feel GUILT AND REMORSE – that perhaps I allowed myself to send him a message of distrust from me when I did not give him the benefit of the doubt…

    but in my eyes, when I think about how many times I “nicely” but firmly communicated through texts and calling him within the hours he did not show, I HAVE TO give myself credit that indeed I did give him the benefit of the doubt.
    – he ONLY said he wouldn’t be ready until 5… then “wanna just make it 6?”

    ( I COULD KICK MYSELF when I think how logical and naive I was NOT to read anything into those two texts… I’M AN IDIOT here… I should have told HIM sorry, something has come up and I will not be able to make it… )

    Lionsroar and All,

    What I need to learn here is I DO NOT KNOW WHEN I am being disrespected. I GIVE THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT too much to recognize people who disrespect or use me. My problem is I think EVERYONE has good intentions. I HAD NO REASON to believe he did NOT have good intentions for me… ?????

    but now I know…

    Also, I need to learn NEVER to take ANY responsibility for my date, no responsibility for meeting him halfway, none for time, if he asks for changing within a reasonable amount of time, or to “wait” on him without explanation DURING the time I AM WAITING…. and no responsibility for planning, calling around, securing dates, rooms, with my money. If he chooses to ask me to do any of this, that is my sign, he isn’t serious about this relationship, or he is just emotionally unavailable during this time in his life, or he has serious trust issues. All of which I will learn to bow out BEFORE I get emotionally attached to this person.

    okay, I’m learning… and I do (did) sense a great distrust in “m” for people in general, and for women in general too… I felt he must have been burned, hurt, cheated on, used or something.

    I do remember him telling us over July 4 (yes I was with him that day too) that he was a handful at home as a child, he like accidently set a bed on fire in his home… he was wild! I imagine somewhat of a rebel kid with ADHD… and I still think he may have had or still has Dyslexia… He also is a bit haphazard… he would borrow my fishing pole and it got hung on a branch, or somehow it sunk in river while we were canoeing… then he broke the line off the one I was using… then he borrowed another I bought for $30 (I even took out insurance on it! and he never gave it back… I think he either broke it or lost it … kept saying he’d see about it or buy me one… never did… he won’t play tennis with me because he says he can’t keep the ball in the lines, so he is just a bit uncoordinated… again all this points to dyslexia I think… but he could climb up a 30 foot tree and swing down into the river!!!

    sooooo endearing to me, but yet as much as I was there for him, so supportive, encouraging friend, he just couldn’t relax into my trust as much as to hold my hand… one time I was massaging his back, i loved massaging his back, i smoothed over his arms to his hands and he grabbed them and squeezed them… it was a touching moment… fleeting but touching…

    i so love him. he has a part of my heart but his heart is so hardened, disillusioned, non-trusting even of me…

    now I am beginning to think he thought I was in contact with his friend or something…. because his friend must have asked him if we were on or off… he did that to me I said I don’t know… he asked “do you want to be on?” like dating m… I said “yes”

    but m (my taurus who’s gone now… hopefully will miss me and come back) he used to tell me to stop Assuming… never assume something unless you know it for a fact. he was right. I make assumptions off people’s behavior… so I assume because he did not show New Yrs, ESPECIALLY NO EXPLANATION, OR CONTACT, that he did not want to go out with me???? sorry, but DUH.. ??? how can he say not to assume??

    I SOOOOOOOOOO want to ask him why???

    reading your text now… Thank you dearly Lionsroar… I so appreciate you and everyone here. You guys have become my ROCK.

    mia ~

    the GREAT thing is I did go to church today and I was so happy and singing, laughing praising so blessed and grateful, and if he was there, he saw I didn’t seem to have a care in the world… I did feel so happy, empowered, beautiful and my genuine self today at church. And how ironic to sing the songs:

    – “I’m Still Standing!”
    – “You (Jesus) will be my first Love be my first Love!”

    Lionsroar,

    The way I think is if he wanted to do it he would do it. So if he is going to NOT give me an explanation on his own for why he didn’t show for New Yrs, why the heck should I have to lower myself to insult my and his intelligence by asking him why he didn’t show???

    Do you think he was too proud to say he could not afford it afterall??

    That just won’t fly with me now that I see he connected with some gal December 25 at 3 am… it kills me to think there was a female involved here…

    not after 7 months, and not after the miracles I was witnessing in his behavior, becoming more respectful, asking me more questions about family, more romantic type affection, inviting me to the horse races in February, skiing trips, etc. RIGHT UP through the very day and even the day of within hours of our date… no arguing! he was being very sweet and genuine… i could feel his respect.

    personality disorder? bi-polar??? hm…

  944. #944 by Lionsroar on January 10, 2010 - 8:15 pm

    Mia,
    No I do not think he was too proud. I think he just changed his mind and/or something came up. He was rude. Regardless! Your description of him (fishing pole, etc) shows that perhaps he hasnt learned the value of treating people how you like to be treated. I’m reading childhood issues. Perhaps he’s accustomed to ‘getting what he wants, how he likes to be treated’ and doesnt feel he needs to pay that same respect forward. For every action there is a reaction! You are right to feel the way you do. And good for you for feeling it all. It shows the depths you are able to feel and care. He does not ‘feel’ at the same depth you do. He might be right about reading to much into things.. assuming. You may have read more into him than he knows how to give. Opposites attract and there is no greater feeling in the world for a woman when the people she loves ‘grow and flourish’ infront of our eyes. You are a good people.. and it does say in the bible, “the good suffer the most”. You need to step away from this for a little while..take a bath, do your nails, garden, have coffee, get bombed..something but put this on hold. Remember how good you felt at church singing. Why dont you stop talking about him and start talking to yourself and God. It is amazing what answers we recv’e when we quite our minds and just listen to what comes into our minds. This relationship might have come to be more for his benefit than yours.. Perhaps he met you and you have to go through this painful experience with him right now in order for him to grow. You can handle this and you can do this. The answers will come you will know what to do, when to do it and how to go about it.. Trust yourself. Back away, give it sometime. If you are suppose to be with him, you will be. Nothing and no one will be able to stop it. But it takes two. It is up to him now to come to you with an apology for his actions and disrespect to you and the friendship/relationship you two have. Then it is up to you to find forgiveness and set it up on equal terms. I’m sending you hugs and kisses. You are not alone, not now, not yesterday, not tomorrow, not ever. There’s a world of people that love your spirit and recognize how wonderful you are and we haven’t even had the honor of meeting you face to face. You are perfect and you are right where god intended you to be right at this moment.. please have faith in yourself. We all do… Like I said crazy train.. all aboard!! Just remember even the crazy train stops to refuel.. thank godess for that, because that’s when you get to jump off.!!

  945. #945 by Mia on January 10, 2010 - 10:36 pm

    Lionsroar,

    That was a beautiful post, thank you!!! and I will follow this… okay, i do need to remember not to react…

    allow space, breathe… doing those things now…

    and you already know I’m eyeing my cell for any indications he will ever communicate with me today, within the hr, the next hr, tomorrow, or I will die if he goes for days, weeks? ohhhhhhhhhh I am pitiful here aren’t I ??? thinking I cannot handle it emotionally to go weeks, perhaps months, or never again… I can’t handle days much less hrs, to fathom him NEVER communicating or coming back..

    I do know God has a perfect plan yes, comforted by that. I do know that he came into my life for me to work on facing my fears of abandonment, trust… to start holding him accountable in that i am willing to walk away and drop you out of my life if you stand me up, i did but it doesn’t feel so good.

    what is more sobering than you can imagine is that THIS IS THE FIRST TIME EVER he did not apologize nor give any explanation for his actions. that screams there is someone else, especially when he was so eager for me to call his friend because his friend wants to ask me out… that tells me he feels NOTHING and probably never felt anything at all for me…

    but evenso, it makes me want to again NEVER date, never allow my heart to be tainted yet again…. i can’t keep this up emotionally with getting burned by love…

    And oh how I do want him happy even moreso want him to feel a contentment of love in his heart, it kills me to think this would come from another woman, but if i lift my spirit above this earth and as in being an angel from God of course I want for his precious soul’s peace, pure love and his angst, his distrust, his somewhat tainted or tortured soul against humanity annointed with all the love of others that surround his world.

    He is so precious to me…

    I think I have this yearning in me for everyone’s contentment, happiness and love… that is also part of my addiction, co-dependency… because as you can see i allow this to creep into my own emotional health and self worth. In some ways I feel above it all, like it is part of my spiritual responsibility from why I came to earth.. know that sounds silly, but I do feel I was born to somehow be an angel of love to children (i have a kindred spirit towards children) and to m, who came into my life as a distrusting soul who probably just wanted me for physical only, but who I wanted much more, wanting to pour my love into his precious heart and also wanted to be his friend, someone he could confide in, listen to…. to mend all his childhood damaged distrusting heart… sometimes i ache for him, i do understand him moreso than others around me, and it kills me that he shut me out of his life. i reveled in his aura if that makes any kind of sense.

    If absence makes the heart grow fonder, then I’m hopeful he may grow to miss me in his life.

    Lionsroar??? everyone! Do I date? I don’t want to now, but feel it may balance my attention off him so I won’t obsess over him and it will naturally balance if he wanted to come back and date me again? yes i know he may never come back…

    but this does not make sense…. i thought a taurus goes out as friends, but dates exclusively (one gal at a time) and will take it to the next level if he feels it, otherwise, he will bail and move on… and once that happens, there is NO TURNING back. ???

    my last taurus guy (my last relationship) knew IMMEDIATELY when he laid eyes on me i was the one for him. m did too, but his was physical… only that they were at different points in their life… he owned a home, m had to live with parents now not sure why? my last relationship guy was emotionally available, more mature… m is not on either i think…

    that lasted 2 yrs, and the one before 5. i do remember telling m this to let him know that i don’t just jump in a relationship or “bed” for that matter with anyone… i take it seriously and he is the first and only guy i have ever felt any inclination to being with. that was also because I was starting to feel very used and resentful about the “s” or intimate part of us…

    at first i thought i had blown it telling him that, but i think another part of him respected me for it… ?

    ohhhhhhhhh WAIT !!!!!

    heeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyy, I just thought of something!!

    I’m sifting through “The Rules II”

    when a man is in love observe him around the holidays… your birthday, nothing! but i was so obvious, i was pitiful, sending a message, so i really don’t blame him on this…

    christmas, he was all over communicating and going out with me around the holidays! asking what i was doing for christmas… nope never a card or gift or even merry christmas but we went out that weekend…. and he was very attentive, talking about wanting to go hunting with my brother and cousin perhaps and asking me about it…

    and i didn’t even consider New Years being a big deal…. but wow! it was…

    hello?

    he is falling in love with me! i think… ? perhaps? he has been trying to fight this all along… ?

    geez.

    guys want to do ANYTHING but fall in love! they will run so far away from love… they will cliing to their single friends, cringe when their friends marry…

    guys drop you from their life just before they feel the need to commit… or distance from you???

    he blocked me or deleted me from facebook… that crushed me, but i had NO DESIRE to see his facebook page he has a lot of “gal” friends and I did not like looking through there… but still that hurt. maybe he didn’t want to see my page? because of the guys? even his ex (the gal he broke up with about the time he met me… ) because that could be just him breaking off and going to another gal .. i hope not.. but even his ex is still on there ??? she is with another guy now. she is cool i know her.

    then he changed his facebook profile to only certain people can view… argh. so i did the same…. in case he ever goes to mine.

    you see? why can’t i ask him? again… if he hasn’t declared us as a couple, that question really has no merit… ? but i so want to ask why would he delete me from facebook this was after New Yrs… hm, he said he was not mad at me before New Yrs to cause him to not show, but how could he possibly be mad at me for him not showing up? my reaction?

    this is classic! they will do something out of the ordinary to sabotage it! so you will be forced to break up with them…

    and for m it couldn’t be any better see???

    he not only sabotaged it but now his friend sees it and he is making a move on me, so m is frantic asking me if i have contacted his friend to test me… hmmmmmmm…

    of course i won’t go out with his friend…. my heart is attached to m like a magnet, i couldn’t think of dating him or anyone else…. right now.

    hm.

    he wasn’t sensitive and does not communicate well so a more mature communicative man would have said i need to back off and need space… he is a baby in someways, too stubborn and awkward, and doesn’t feel secure enough to have the confidence of communicating so this is his way, his passive way…

    this is a common cycle in the relationship…. okay!

    just before New Years Eve too, you see? he didn’t acknowledge my birthday (sept)

    got closer at thanksgiving remember he met my family we chopped down the christmas trees! and christmas he was close, okay he bought me lingerie, but it wasn’t presented as a christmas gift we went in store and he paid… lolllllllll…. it was very nice!

    i didn’t tell you that and he has bought lingerie two other times i think…

    then willing to pay such a huge tab for the hotel room new years??? wow… okay, connecting with that gal on messenger, okay? see? denial… makes sense, not only backing off from me, let’s meet a gal, or two…. hm…

    and he would not have been so communicative yesterday if he didn’t still feel things for me… ?

    this is the stage where the guy naturally goes back to his cave to get into his distractions, sports, dating other women perhaps to shake off feelings he has for me… that way he can know for sure whether he misses me or not…

    oh my, then if he does, he may declare “love” for me? hm, but at this point I should be dating, for he would not want another guy to snag me… okay…

    either way it is good for him and good for me!

    part of me thinks my theory may be off the mark. he was distancing himself from me the week of new years. we were both off that week and he never once made plans to be with me… the entire week…

    sometimes i think (write) through my problems to help me understand them in how to steer my energy in solving the problem. i’m very logic minded. my moon is aries, his saggitarius, and it says we’re trine? so think this is good.. ? not sure the meaning of trine…

    Sending hugs to all of you and I like Lionsroar’s trying not to react discipline. don’t panic. remain calm, cool and collected…

    Mia ~

    okay I’m panicking now. what if (i know those are bad for you) but what if he’s been seeing a new gal new yrs and all this past weekend? oh i’m about to hyperventilate… lol, really, oh geez. what if he NEVER saw me as serious material because we had s right off the bat, he was well very smitten with me and still was very much so physically even the weekend before new yrs probably the most passionate, even getting emotional yet… that was when i was trying to slow him down (but with the new lingerie) and kind of teasing him to slow down, ever so slightly moving my face as him not to kiss my lips which he did full mouth which blew me away, he had never let himself loose himself emotionally like that kissing me full on the lips, always avoiding the lips… then kissing my neck lots (yup two hickeys) oh my… how can he just drop that… we are like magnets in that way, i have NEVER been attracted to ANYONE in my life! like him…. and I KNOW it is for him we have a HUGE magnetic intense wild passion for each other… i do know that dept is very good…

  946. #946 by Mia on January 10, 2010 - 11:13 pm

    Lionsroar,

    okay already, you are right. the last novel, i mean post sorry!

    will be my last for awhile.

    i’m just crying so hard reading your sweet post.

    it kills me and i can’t tell you how much i pray to be spock… lol feeling no emotion.

    but it kills me that ANYONE any human being could possibly do to me, lead me on for their own selfish “cheap thrill” for 7 months stringing me along, being hot cold, unbelievable.

    yes, i can’t believe anyone could ever possibly do this to another… i could not have thought this up….

    i was telling a friend and she said for me to stop laying on the train tracks for him to keep running over me… he gave you his answer when he didn’t show and with no explanation.

    that means he’s through with you, done. he got what he wanted, and view him as the jerk he is, take off your blinders.

    i must take my heart out of this and think with my head.

    okay, i will force myself to not think about him. erase him from my mind and move on…

    we did make plans with the gals in choir to have a share group, and i spoke about playing games at my home, or having a bowling night or something with the choir… love my choir folks yup they are like family!

    love my kids, teaching sunday school, so i’m planning different crafty fun stuff to do with them…. they were sad to leave today because we were doing a fun paper craft we used to do as kids…

    i can tell you i will NEVER EVER let one man so much as touch me EVER again unless I KNOW FOR A FACT he is serious and we’ve been together for a very very long time before that…

    i feel robbed, sorry but raped too. raped emotionally is even worse, it kills me… but he will NEVER take my spirit.

    i have bible study at my home in 2 weeks. should i cancel and never go again so i wont’ have to see him. i really can’t handle it.

    each time we had bible study at my home, he treated me like he BARELY knew me in front of everyone…. no one has a clue that we have dated and that is the way he wanted it. he would walk the other way and sit on the far side just to not sit by me at church and pass me like i barely existed…. it was so strange… this did change two weeks ago when he took me to church, but i really think he deliberately waited to go to the later service so none of our church group friends would be there…. that is when we you know and he spooned me we napped, it was very nice though….

    okay i’m done.

    thanks all and i just need to take it one day at a time.

    and call and cancel bible study at my home. i just don’t think i can handle being anywhere in the vicinity of him.

    sending hugs and kisses to you too Lionsroar and thank you for helping me! God bless all…

    mia…

  947. #947 by Lionsroar on January 11, 2010 - 12:06 am

    Mia,
    No canceling bible sudy!! You open your heart and home to friends and God FOR A REASON, THAT IS WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE.. THAT IS WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY AND OTHERS ARE HAPPY BEING AND DOING THAT WITH YOU! STOP IT!!!! Pull yourself up! Enough is enough…. that you did Pre- him! That is what you KEEP!! What you shred is “my space, cards, letters, photos and text.. etc”… Not the people and things that you love. Even an atheist will yell “god help me” in his final moment. *Yah I grew up military, Dad was a minister. HA!
    If he comes to worship then let him worship in your home. You are the bigger person I know it hurts and I know its worse with betrayel in your mind. But your life goes on with him or without him. What is the difference if you start next week or next month. Nothing! Be who you are, if you are hurt and sad tell your friends its a difficult time. Do NOT be afraid to show sadness when he looks at you. Its his judgement day NOT yours. Be true to yourself and love yourself first. Change for NO ONE.. Do not trade in who you are or hide yourself ever. That is our greatest gift you know: we are all authentic, different and unique. I do not think for one minute as your friend put it he got what he wanted. If that was the case he would have moved on by the second/third encounter. His interest was as piqued as yours. Say a thank you for the times you shared and START LOVING YOURSELF AND STOP OBSESSING. If he is with someone else, so be it. You couldnt have stopped it if you had a vision. If he’s playing games, he’ll have to grow up. Much worse things could be happening in your life right now… 9 months ago you were just fine. Remember!! You’ve been through more and you always land on your feet. Think of all the trials your parents/grandparent/friends and family have been through….. Now look in the mirror and and laugh at yourself.. I wish you had a little Leo in you.. we really love ourselves first and foremost!! Get some sleep, tomorrow is a new day and the day after that and that… Dont keep your head down in life or you will never see who is looking at you or what sign the divine spirit is showing… You’re okay your just in Oh My God that Fucker Dumped Me Shock… We’ve been there.. he’ll remember you always …they always do. xo

  948. #948 by AriesGal on January 11, 2010 - 12:40 am

    Once again, thank you for the sound advice!

    So what happened was that he emailed me and said that he really really appreciated my asking him out for coffee but that he just met somenone. He said that he’s been wary about getting into things with people. He did say that he would still like to have coffee with me. So, hmm, I’ll just have to see what hapens with him and this girl.

    My response was to tell him that I was disappointed to have not asked him sooner. That I found him to be worth a risk of asking eventhough I had been extremely wary of asking anyone out after Mr Sag breaking my heart and for the fact that we work together. Told him to keep me in mind anyways. I’m not gonna give up but I was going to speak up. Just this once in the privacy of email. I’m gonna take your advice and be all smiles when I say hello but just focus on my work otherwise.

    Definitely don’t be a pushover Mia! I laughed when I read that you called him a smartass. Go girl! Men respect feistiness! Zero contact, zero toleranc to when he acts up.

    Oh Taurus man… thats all I got

  949. #949 by virgo10 on January 11, 2010 - 1:09 am

    Mia
    I hope you’re doing better. As lionsroar stated you are just in that phase of shock but you will get over it, just give it some time and sleep it off. And lionsroar is right, you shouldn’t cancel your bible studies class, don’t change your life for him. On the contrary do it because thats what is least expected, do it for yourself. You are worth it!!!!

    Well, my situation has changed… after not initiating any contact with my taurus he finally texted me after 9 days lol (no i wasn’t counting lol) We started getting into this talk through text of how he wanted a massage but i said how about we go out first and then talk about a massage first. Just to recap I havn’t seen this guy in 4 months, he stated he can’t resist me, and I said obviosly you can if its been this long lol then he told me truthfully that the reason we havn’t seen each other is because he thought we would do something we might regret and he likes to take things SLOW (obviously) but the combination of us is wild, and then he states dont tell me u didnt think about it lol. which is true but i told him i take things slow as well and that im not that easy, that he will have to work for it. but then he totally contradicted himself stating he knows but he doesnt have time to wait for me either. i’m like WTF?? I then told him I’m a patient person but he is testing my limits, and then hes like what are you going to do, I said I dont know, time will tell…. then he called me and we spoke and he was very honest with me and so was I. SO obviously we have a very strong attraction which is true but I don’t know how to overcome this, like I want to believe him but sometimes, well most of the time he confuses me way too much. I know taurus guys are very sensual and very sexual but we havn’t even had sex and he’s making it into such a big deal, like is that the only thing he’s thinking about? But if so, then wouldn’t he want to see more of me?? WE’ve just been talking for these past 4 months and we live in the same city… lol
    any advice would be helpfull
    p.s I’m not promisicious and he knows this but those two times that we saw each other, it was very intense and passionate, he knows this and so do I… he’s not very good at resisting temptations, just like a child that is the taurus man

  950. #950 by Mia on January 11, 2010 - 2:26 am

    hey all,

    thank you for your posts!!!! I haven’t read them yet, see something about obsessing…

    yup, i know i am driving not only me but you guys curazy! lollllllll

    but listen… then i’ll shush…

    listen, he did not break this off. i did.

    he said i’ll call you back.

    then when he had asked me to call him and I did, he didn’t answer i hung up. he called back immediately…

    this was yesterday …

    when i picked up, his voice was very sweet and soft, “hey.” just like always! mine was ‘hey’ he did ask what i was doing. he did ask about my daughter going back to California and was sympathetic with me as he knows i will be missing her…

    he only rushed me when i broached the subject he did not want to talk about.

    okay i know already about respect.

    i know my taurus guy by now… he was lazy all that week, we did make plans to play racketball and both times, he got lazy, i was too… i really think he was helping his friend out that day and went out to eat and just hung out at home, too embarrassed to let me know….

    i went OVERBOARD instead of letting it go… he didn’t know i would be stuck with the bill and truly i don’t think he thought too much about it… i don’t think taurus are all sentimental over holidays… my last taurus left my home at 8 or 9 pm last new yrs to go on to bed instead of stay up….

    he only said all that lets just be friends to pacify me cuz i kept bringing up dating and relationship crap, fix get off the phone.

    i’m telling you i just don’t think m volunteered to tell his friend to go date me… i think his friend went up to him to ask if we’re still dating and that put distrust in m … like what is going on….

    alright, i’m done… haaaa sigh…

    i think we’re going to be okay… i will choose positive.

    and from now on if he comes back, er i mean when he comes back, I’m going to tell him this:

    Ain’t no more sugary sweet sugar coated Me no more… (he said i always tend to sugar coat things and get the last word in…)

    nope! that is the one part about me that walked on eggshells.

    no more!

    if you act like a smartass, i’ll call it as i see it.

    i do not do half way relationships, if you want one, you will have to let me know. no more friends going out with benefits.

  951. #951 by Mia on January 11, 2010 - 2:33 am

    OMG OMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

    SHIT

    HE IS TELLING ME HIS FRIEND WANTS TO TAKE ME FOR THE WEEKEND WITH HIM THIS WEEKEND.

    SORRY BUT I WANT TO SAY

    FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    OMG

    OMG

    HE IS A FUCKING LOOSER!

    SHIT, I’M LOOSING IT…

    WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?????????????????

    PLEASE HELP SOMEONE…

    HE HAS NO DECENCY!

    HE IS SHIT…

    PLEASE IF ANYONE IS ON….

    HOW can he possibly mean this?????? i’m dying…

    i’m crushed…

    please how do i respond? how on earth could he be doing this????? i want to rip his heart out like he ripped mine out.

    how in sensitve can you be????? oh my god, so sorry i’m crying so hard….

    what do i do?

    how can he dispose?

    is this a test?????

    what is he doing?????

    he is asking me if i want to go to hot spring this weekend his friend want me to be his date there… like he will take another girl in front of meeeeeeeeeeeeeee OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
    WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

    do you think he still likes me and is testing me?????

    what a fucking jerk…

  952. #952 by Mia on January 11, 2010 - 2:52 am

    m JUST TEXT ME NOW:

    “x” wants to take you away for the weekend… like he would be there too….

    i must remain calm

    i will remain calm….

    what the hell is wrong this this guy?????????

    how dare he date me for 7 months, then tell me his friend wants to date me and am i interested….

    are you fucking kidding me?

    now excuse me?

    if a taurus is in love with you he would not ask you to go out with his friend????

    what the hell?

    I am in shock….

    i am in shock. i need some major advice…

    please tell me what you would do???

    what if the guy you are in love with, acted interested, even kissing you on the lips like we are a couple the last time you were together wanting to take me places, now is asking me to date his friend…

    HERE IS what I want to answer:

    “Excuse me… I must have misunderstood, I could have sworn you were asking me out for the last 7 months, and the last few dates were wonderful unless you did a great acting job?”

    “Sorry I have no desire to go out with “o” as I’ve become attached to a smartass named “m”

    “Please let the party you are currently dating know when you decide NOT to date me anymore before ASKING your friends to start ASKING ME OUT.”

  953. #953 by Mia on January 11, 2010 - 5:15 am

    okay
    am calm now…. breathe…

    i answered when he called…
    you would be sooooooooooooooo proud of me!!!

    we ended on a good note.

    he started asking me if I wanted to go for the weekend with “x”…

    I said calmly, “m”, “we have been going out for the past 7 months, he interrupted me… “let’s not go there, we argue mia… we argued too much….”

    do you see, we argue because he interrupts and starts argueing with me!!!! lolllllllllllllllll… again, we were still talking to each other even now like we’re married…

    he said we didn’t talk for a week because I got mad then he got mad… hm… that was because he asked me out, then called and asked if i wanted to play pool with him and “x” his friend at 5:30 pm he had said we were still going to the movie just later… but you see i would have met him and i don’t meet for dates, i expect my date to pick me up….

    bottom line, he is not out on his own (lives with parents for now) so that is huge that he isn’t ready for commitment because he has to get his house in order… be on his own… also, he was just not emotionally ready nor available and still emotionally immature because again when you have some of the universe against you, your other parts, work, relationships will suffer and fail eventually.

    i did say i had developed feelings for him over the 7 months and I just can’t turn that off so easily… in that I’m sorry I just can’t go out with your friend now…

    i kept repeating you met someone, this is about another woman…He kept interrupting to not go there… he I think was trying to be respectful to me…

    But again he was emotionally immature he didn’t like having to tell me this, wanted to get this over quickly but was trying to be respectful… Lionsroar you would be proud I remained as calm as possible… I slowed down the tempo, and I asked very nicely, “M” took a breathe… “please bare with me this is very important to me before we move on here… may i ask you a question please?” he was like sure… “You must have met another woman, there has to be another woman here somewhere??? you met someone?”

    he sighed and started talking, like okay I will have to explain this to you… like he was trying to explain an oil change to me… that ironically is what I love about him, i know how can i still love him, but you can’t turn off love… and i am glad he didn’t put emotion in it… i like his matter of factness because i can handle this better… remember he doesn’t act like he has fallen in love with the woman.. only this…

    he said, “i ran into an old friend the other day and i hadn’t seen her in a long time..” he stopped… I said, “so you want to end us, and pursue her now?” matter of factly of course, like I’m reiterating how much oil to use for the oil change… geez.

    he said, “yes, we just argue too much.”

    I asked, “did you go to “x” and tell him you’re finished with me and say here’s “m”? he said no no…

    he said that “x” came to him and asked if we were still on, or maybe I’m thinking he MIGHT HAVE BEEN WITH HER and “x” new yrs??? i can’t think that now… i have to stay calm.

    anyway he said to ‘x’ that I’m very sweet, nice, but that we argue too much and it’s just not going to work out…

    and that is when “x” asked if he minded if he were to pursue me…

    “m” said that’s fine, I’m thinking “hm… ouch” as he is telling me this…

    there you have it ladies… cut and dry.

    i never admitted “love” of course, just that, yes you are a smartass, don’t get your ego inflated here but i kind of had feelings for you and that i liked you alot and you can’t turn that off.

    he was so practical that is what i loved about him, he wasn’t all mushy about talking to this woman, so of course i told him i wished him well with her…

    and i came sooooooooooooooooo close to asking for him to keep open the possibility of coming back to me, BUT I DID NOT!!!!!!!!!! that would have killed whatever attraction he could have in the future with me!!!

    I know you are thinking, “mia, kick his ass to the curb and don’t look back.” what a insensitive commitmentphobic, narcissistic, emotionally abusive, immature, unavailable borderline psycho neurotic, borderline personality disorder, bi-polar, bastard. I know… but again I can’t turn off my love for him like that…. this was 7 freaking months… I’m trying to act calm as my heart is being crushed like a 15 ton hummer being crumpled like an ordinary envelope by a 100 ton crane…

    sooooooooooooo… i thought this up as quickly as it came into my creative little gorgeous mind,

    I said, “well to be perfectly honest with you, a few guys from my past have been coming around and have asked me out but I did not know what to do because i wanted to be respectful of our relationship… so now i shall pursue going out with a few of them… and now since you met her and want to pursue her, i can go out on some dates..”

    he said that sounds great and he wanted me to do that…

    he did say he was very sorry about new yrs somehting came up but never told me what? hm, but it is okay, he did say he would call the card company for me to take it off

    and then because i’m thinking oh i have to ask all this stuff before he hangs up because he was an intrigrent part of my truck. our trucks identical. he handled the purchase of my truck. it is exactly like his. he even took off all the stuff on the side just like his… people thought we were married when we bought it… i’m like crying now… oh geez. this is killing me trying to be so above this. so strong… i am determined i will be BETTER for this.

    i think i was selfish. he should have NEVER picked me.

    this gal has young boys. he needs to be a father…

    i’m an idiot thinking we could have made it… yes i know some folks do, but he needed to experience having kids of his own, i still can’t blame me. i didn’t start this, he pursued me! i never asked him to come into my life. i NEVER flirted with this man.

    I WAS ONLY his friend. that is all i ever wanted from him was his friendship.

    i feel like he used me up and tossed me out with the laundry at this very moment.

    i am sure i will feel a flood of emotions overwhelmingly here in the next few hours, days and this SUCKS.

    i would NEVER WISH what I am feeling now on ANYONE in A MILLION YEARS.

    this HEARTBREAK is becomming all too familiar a friend to me.

    the ache i am feeling now is like a rotted black hole, like someone has ripped my heart out that already has been ripped to shreds twice in the past 3 years….

    one from a 5 YEAR RELATIONSHIP… the other from a 2 year relationship… then met him 3 months after my heart WAS RIPPED OUT STOMPED ON from 3 months before…

    and my divorce before all this….

    thanks for all your support. i’m not leaving yet…

    and who knows he may try to get back…

    i knew if i ever wanted a chance to keep something open with him, i wanted to end it the HEALTHY way!!! and I did beautifully!!!

    I was sounding very happy for him and I was bubbly… wishing him the very best and he did me too…

    i can’t force love… and you can tell by now i love people and even with the heartache of the two other guys i ended those on a postive note too! wishing them both well.. the 5 year guy is still a friend and wants me back… lol…. but no….

    funny guys have really been coming out of the word work here lately too…

    and i had signed on to the free part of eHarmony months ago just about the time he started to like me… remember we were still only friends status… although we were just about to the couple stage before he pulled this plug…

    i think this was a combination of me giving in too much, not holding out for the emotional connection first! and also his living with the parents and that part of his life not settled yet… and his emotional immaturity, he is commitment issues, being burned i think .. he told me he was with a gal that he caught her with her ex of 9 years and they got married… the gal he was with before me was acting way too emotional, like where are we in this, and clingy, and nurturing controlling telling him he needs to sleep when to leave bible study… this is when she saw me as a threat… he was sitting next to me that night and he offered to take me home because i had rode my bike and it was dark… he was sooooooooo smitten with me! geez…

    well, enough. i’m going on eharmony to date and i’ll keep you posted.

    i’m curious to see if he will come back…. hmmmmmmm….

    smile…

    sending tons of hugs to you beautiful strong ladies! i NEED to stay around STRONG SUPPORTIVE women!

    I may not leave yet!

    Lots of love to you all !!!!!

    God bless you,
    mia ~
    Would it not be ironic, if in the end, i meet the guy of my dreams and he dates her and she becomes a chronic nag, clingy whiner, drag and he comes flying back to me… and I loose all my love from him to the man who treats me like a queen and never lets me go from the moment he lays eyes on me! wow… hmmmm…. we shall see…

  954. #954 by Jess on January 11, 2010 - 11:13 am

    Mia,

    Oh boy!, to be honest I am not able to finish reading all your posts, it’s way too long… sorry. I can just tell how overwhelm and frustrated you are with your Taurus guy but I also think it would be nice (to the blog owner and the readers) if you can try to keep your post shorter. It actually reflects your personality and the way you handle matters in life and I honestly think to put up with Taurus you better keep it short nice and simple, and to the point.

    Cheers with my best intention!

  955. #955 by Scorplady on January 11, 2010 - 1:51 pm

    Hello ladies!

    I was involved off and on with a taurus guy for the past year and let me tell you, HE IS NOT WORTH all the tears, heartache, sleepness nights, stress or anxiety that you all put YOURSELVES through. You CANNOT blame your taurus man or any other man for how he treats you because you are allowing it to happen. YOU are the only one who has full control over you life and who you choose to deal with or entertain.

    This may sting a little but maybe ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’. Please do yourself a favor and sit back and stop everything that you are doing to try and get that taurus man where you want him and ask yourself, “If I have self-love and self-respect, why would I be doing this to myself?” Let him GO!!! If he comes back to you CORRECT, then, he will be yours.

    All of you ladies, deserve a man who will treat you like gold and the Queen’s that you are. If you truly love yourself, you would put all the back and forth to an end and start living your life and being happy. Never sacrifice YOUR happiness for ANYONE!

    I know some of you don’t want to hear this but if I help just one on you ladies, I’m happy.

    Take care ladies! Live and enjoy your life and don’t waste unnecessary time…take it from one woman who knows. ๐Ÿ™‚

  956. #956 by saggi girl on January 11, 2010 - 4:08 pm

    MIa,

    sorry to hear what had happened… i guess it is the time to move on.. it no longer matters why he did this and what his intention was in the first place.. when a guy tells me to date someone else, i will move on especially he admits that he is going to pursue another woman. Things are not going to be good if there is another woman in the picture…

    best luck to you and take care

  957. #957 by saggi girl on January 11, 2010 - 4:34 pm

    HI Jane,

    I am ok and thanks for your concern. but i did have a fight with him yesterday when i saw him.. he was only be able to spend 4 hours with me but did not let me know earlier… when i confronted him.. he said that he can not deal with me complaning all the time. and he also said that it seems he never met my expectation no matter what he does.. but it was not true. I do not think he understands me and i just wanted to spend more time with him. It seems that he needs to get something done, when i asked him what he needs to get done..he raised his voice on me saying that he does not need to report in detail what he needs to do.. then i told him that it was not working out between me and him, then he said that we will talk about that later but at the moment he needs to do and he needs to disconnect from all of this.. then i got out of the car and slam the door very loud..

    i do not know what is on his mind and he sent me a text message saying good night with kisses.. i did not return that message.. do not know what to do to handle it.. but i do think that it was not working..
    we are in a committed relationship but it seems that his inability of sharing information about what it is that you are doing leaves me suspicious….

    As for the advice for you.. i guess you can have the talk with him and see where it is going.. i do not think you need to be afraid of talking with him about the direction..and let him know that you are serious about the relationship with him but wants to know how he thinks…..it is not you want to rush him into something he was not ready for but wants to know if he sees someone else at the same time….

    Jane, do not be afraid as i did the same in the past.. like did a lot of times as i wanted to make sure what i am to him.. i do not want to date someone who also dates someone else.. he got my full attention and commitment but at the same time, he was not able to keep it up with me b giving his time or attention to another woman.. and at the same time, letthing me know that he dates someone else at the same time shows his respect.. then i needs to figure out what i need to do to respect myself..

    good luck with your move and keep me posted

  958. #958 by Mia on January 11, 2010 - 6:33 pm

    Hi you beautiful gals, thanks much for telling me to pull myself together! i am i am!!! i stayed up until 5:30 and wrote him a long note, NO I DIDN’T SEND IT.. i was good… just that little text i tell about below….

    i cried sooooooo hard though… oh i feel like i was grieving…. but the sad thing is i know he feels nothing… it’s okay… yeah he is an idiot and oblivious… but know he feels nothing for me so he doesn’t care what i text… words mean nothing to guys only killing attraction when the attraction is gone like for me… the best i could ever do to get it back is to FORGET he ever existed… really no, NO CONTACT… that is the healthy thing!!!! give him time to miss me… if he comes back great… if not God will take care of me… ๐Ÿ™‚ then yes send me some LEO… actually I need to date a Leo, Gemini, or Aquarius… or maybe a saggitarius… i haven’t tried those yet… and they are supposed to be good for me i think… ha… or maybe a libra…

    I feel very good today. i cried and did much thinking! bottom line, he wasn’t hard to figure out…

    he is still adorable, a pain in the ass… but he told me something similiar to your situation Saggi girl…

    we argue too much… i think taurus gets these misconceptions in their head when that wasn’t our intention and we think just the opposite..

    his idea / perception of us arguing to much was me being me! me not necessarily agreeing with all he said and giving my opinion, me being my feisty self like you Saggi girl… so don’t give up being you!

    you listen to him.. you agree with him if you want him to stay.. even though he is totally illogical and doesn’t get it… you are right from what i’m reading… have to go in to work now but …

    you did NOT complain too much just as I did NOT argue with him…

    You were confronting him, making him accountable for his part of relationship, ignoring your concerns and twisting them into (you complain too much) means he isn’t emotionally mature to consider your feelings…

    my last taurus was older and he was better on this but still had some of what our taurus men have..

    they will learn… you are the best thing that has ever happened to your taurus, as are you Jane and me and all here.

    they have to go on out there and either find someone that is on a more submissive maturity plane than them to justify their way of life which is what taurus wants to do… you see?

    he isn’t ready to hear the truth… he isn’t ready to be a grown up and have an equal reciprical, respectful relationship and until he grows up and matures some, he may never..

    you can just say, you know, i agree, i’ve been thinking i have some goals I need to accomplish and really need to be working on those…

    I’m sorry you perceived me as complaining and you’re right I will work on that part of me (don’t worry you are fine, just let the bull think he is right… if you really love him… smile)

    now say I never wanted to be selfish with your time, and guess I was wrapped in my busy world I just was trying to balance our time together…

    I do think it is best if we take a breather, and I appreciate and want the best for you always…

    Please wait a while before contacting me and I will respect your time too…

    then you have just increased his respect and attraction for you right then and there…

    you just became a beautiful healthy Saggi girl that you ALREADY ARE!!!

    and guess what? i don’t know how it is with you… but i would consider dating a bit… it will help to balance you.

    i needed to do this all along….

    i’ll let you know my story… we ended on a good note as above and i was like asking him, okay i’m going to go to other location and ask for “x” when i get my oil changed.. and he said yes it is time now to get your oil changed…

    then i did write him one more text wishing him the best, telling how adorable he is to me, he will always be my friend, that he finds happiness much love and to his precious parents, brother, sister and family. God bless him and keep him… and that I will now have to find a new camping, canoe, fishing buddy:)

    guess what his response was…

    once again, you got to get the last word in

    in a way unbelievable…

    but in a comical way, i would swear he is still thinking… geez, i’m just dating someone else, what is the big deal.

    why does she always have to have the last word, that is driving him crazy, lollllllll… but i still think it proves he cared more than I thought..

    i still to the day believe that he was on the verge of falling for me and will never be fully satisfied until he matures emotionally….

    i am very stable, my own home, great job, we were soooo capatible in the physical department, and were really getting along fine and he would NOT have held me, kissed me embraced me when leaving walking me to my truck enthralled with me physically… ohhhhhhhhhh did he love my cute tights and he loved my textured tights ….

    anyway… he wont’ know any of this until he moves away…

    she has young sweet boys but i’m not sure it will work out…

    all i know is that if i go back to being my cute outgoing self that i had in the beginning that soooooooooo attracted him to me, then i will be more true to myself anyway… i lost myself in him…

    now i am veeeeeery excited about yes OPENING MY HOME FOR BIBLE STUDY LIONESS… and i’m in that gym daily…. my weight fortunately is great, i am more fit than i have ever been, we had sooooooooooo much fun camping! canoeing fishing… we shared very much the same interests!

    i am not a quitter… my only problem with him is that i love to compete… i got so good at pool i was beating him some, at wii that i was beating him some, at racketball that i was winning there too… i feel in some ways i made him feel emasculated… and he felt in competition with me…

    see, how he thought i was competing for the last word… and i can remember saying something like mine is better than yours… that pissed him off and he said well, my xxx is bigger and better than yours, so there… why do you always have to be in competition with me??? that is so childish.

    he would say stuff like that to me…

    so keep being yourself

    stay in control and always no matter what position yourself one step back…

    just like when he said after i made him admit there was another woman, he said he wanted to start dating her… that is why he knew his friend wanted to go out with me, and he was trying to “help” his friend and i guess wanted me to go out with him because he feels nothing for me now…

    but knowing that can change… and knowing i am in this to be HEALTHIER!!!

    i thought quickly and pulled myself back even further than him…. yes not necessarily competition this is to increase his attraction for me, but more importantly this is for my own health… this is the healthiest thing you can do when a guy wants to call it quits or needs space…

    i said that i had been holding back because a few guys from my past were starting to ask me out and i didn’t know what to do to be respectful of our relationship,…. oh he was thrilled and said then go for it…

    as far as his friend i think this was healthy too… i siad that i grew to like him alot and that i just can’t turn off my feelings for him… so as nice as his friend is i just can’t go out with him now, would he please tell him… he said sure… (and of course said, “s” wants to take you out but i don’t care a hill of beans whether you go or not, just giving you the info…

    hmmmmmmmmmm… he doesn’t care a hill of beans…. that may be what he thinks, but i think even if he doesn’t feel much for me (not that i believe that when he was showing more affection for me… more respect for me… hmmm..)

    even if he has absolutely no feelings for me anymore whatsoever… i still believe it would drive him nuts seeing me in the arms of one of his best friends… nope i would not do this!

    the only thing i know i did wrong was this which i could kick myself ….

    it was the truth but not the healthy thing to do because you can’t force a guy to feel even suggest a guy to feel… he did it to you so he doesn’t put ANYONE in the opposite shoes…. meaning before i tell m how i feel, how would i feel … that is called compassion, empathy… he doesn’t know this… i love him, but he is ignorant to this because of his insecurities, his ego…

    i said: please try to put yourself in my place here…

    i have grown to like you and i can’t turn off my feeling for you like a switch…

    if i was dating you for 7 months and you grew to really get attached to me, your feelings grew towards me, and i came to you and said, listen “m” (he is an “m” too:) … i met a guy from my past and well, I really want to pursue this relationship, and actually my friend “x” who we hang out with some well she really likes you and wants to go to “x” this weekend with you… she has been wanting to ask you out for awhile….

    now ….

    tell me how you would feel..

    he said:
    i’d say go for it…

    not sure if he understood, but i can only take that as he WOULD certainly drop me, and go out with the girl…

    I said fine…

    I DON’T BELIEVE THAT FOR ONE MOMENT… but I’m thinking he is logical… duh…

    he is breaking up with me, everything he has done has no logic to it, so why on earth could i think he would be mature to see this, when well.. HE DID IT… duh… i’m an idiot lollllllllllll

    i’ll give him 5 years…

    but I guarantee you, she will be a typical gal i think that will be immature for him and she has her mind on her small children, and i know him… he will not have the patience to deal with all that…

    he couldn’t even deal with my puppy… lollllllllll… and she is sweet…

    my kids are older and he did get along with my sweet 15 year old… who is sweet nice and quiet…

    oh well…

    I am going to make this a great day! i’m working on me! my finances, my career! my new business ventures that i’m going to do! and i am going to work on getting up my server stuff and going to see about opening up our blog for just us like a shared server thingee….

    i know i can work that up for us and am going to see about it.

    i think the world of you beautiful gals, need to go to work now and wishing you peace and love…

    now make this a super day!!!!

    mia ~

    yes lionsroar i will open my home to the bible study and game night and movie night that i stopped because i could not handle him coming over and treating me as a friend yes but we just were not a couple yet and i was pushing it in my head.. if i had stopped the s and said lets back off now and just be friends.. smile… we may still be together today…

    i will do that from now on!

    he will probably come next week and see a beautiful gorgeous mia so happy and full of life! and i will treat him so nicely and wishing him the best and sharing and being me!!!

    thanks all and tootles for now:)

    i will get on tonight and virgo10 you hang in there aries girl jane you too.. will read more tonight and take care all…

    oh i am going to the womens study tonight too, see how now i feel more like me!!! not waiting on his texts, and now it will be the energy for me.. guys waiting to get in my schedule not me dropping from everything and waiting for him to come to me… geez! smile…

  959. #959 by Jane on January 11, 2010 - 11:54 pm

    Saggi girl

    My dear saggi girl, please do not feel down. It seems to me that you and your lovely bull have hit a ‘blip’ a ‘small hurdle’ thats all!! Ok, this is what i think reading your post…

    You and him have been through some little ups and downs lately leaving you insecure which loud and clear explains your reaction to him as you left the car! Yes!?
    What i mean, you wanted more time with him, (understandable) and also your feeling insecure with him,he senses how you feel by your reaction, he responds with ‘fed up with you complaining’!! (he struggling to deal with it,bulls hate change!! yes!!) (him insecure)

    Him saying ‘i do not meet your expectation’ to me that is him realising he has disappointed you and his defence is to attack which is why the ‘verbals!!! Do you see what i am saying!!?? This is just what i am thinking!! When you said ‘things are not working out’ Did you realise his response to you??
    I like what he said and it means alot…he said ‘we will talk about that later!! He tried to divert!! What does that say to you??? It says to me…
    He is being calm and rational!! lol Sorry,i mean he is being TAURUS’ You are being ’emotional/vulnerable woman! (understandable)He knows things are not feeling right with you,he knows he has contributed to that,(stubborn taurus wont say that) instead he blows up with the verbals (his defence to attack) GET IT!! Sorry do i make sense!?

    Saggi girl,you have every right to feel as you do, the big thing here (which i learnt from my past) COMMUNICATION!! SO important,lose that and lose everything. Talk to him, you will sort this because you love him.

    Thankyou for you response to me, with so much going on for you, i do appreciate your imput to me so much. I will keep you posted. I am off to bed ! Dont worry.
    Remember,just a ‘blip’ Chin up.

  960. #960 by Mia on January 12, 2010 - 4:44 am

    Jane, you are so right.

    I apologize when i read my stuff, i am like so embarrassed, i would have me committed if i were stumbling here. lol it was disrespectful to this site.. so sorry…

    i feel better, am forgetting this jerk. and know IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ME… that is what made me feel so hurt, knowing I may have been flawed that it didn’t make sense to love someone who wanted you, then run away… Following Scorpiolady’s advice above thank you… as well as Virgo10, yours! Jess, Saggi girl, yes! Lionsroar, Ariesgirl and all…

    we love ourselves and know it is far better to live alone than live around a person that abuses you. he can’t abuse nor hurt you without your consent.

    you absolutely do deserve to communicate ANYTHING you are feeling in the relationship. and yes to check to see if you are on the same page… communication is vital. non communication is still a choice, so either way you are adding or toxifying your relationship.

    if you avoided communication like me, you are agreeing to the mistreatment. mine couldn’t communicate, my only option was to choose not to participate in any part of his behavior.

    i’m doing that now and my sanity is slowly returning…

    Thanks all and much sleep needed:)
    Mia~

  961. #961 by virgo10 on January 12, 2010 - 2:14 pm

    Hey everyone,

    SO i just have a question regarding taurus and sex. Perhaps someone who has actually been intimate with their taurus can help me. My taurus guy all of a sudden has been hinting at the idea that we both want each other, of course I won’t admit directly to it. But he can’t stop talking about it. I of course want it but its not only about the sex, I want a relationship, I’m not sure if he just wants sex. I know they are not good at communicating, so does the next stage of sex basically mean to them the beginning of a relationship? Would they become committed? I know I need to talk to him about it, its just confusing me and I would like some insight on this. I just dont want him to get the wrong impression of me that all I want is sex, I want a relationship with him!!!

    Thanks and have a good week everyone!

  962. #962 by saggi girl on January 12, 2010 - 3:28 pm

    hi Jane,

    thanks for your understanding and comforting words.. it means a lot to me at this moment.. i know it seems that we always have to deal with something when it moves forward..

    since i did not return his text message on that night, he did not call last night and i did not call him either.. i guess we are having a cold war now.. i understand that i need to communicate with him but what piss me most is his attitute for not willing to tell me what he was going to catch up after the meeting on that day.. his inability of this makes me suspicious.. i admit that i am insecure, and he knows that i am insecure, but he still chooses to leave me insecure by not sharing the information with me.. which leads me think if he catchs up with another girl after me or not.. as he needs to leave by 4 pm…

    i did not call him and do not want to call him. If he does want to reach me, he knows where to find me, right??

  963. #963 by Mia on January 13, 2010 - 8:47 am

    Hi Everyone,

    Jess, I think it was you that wrote the note about me needing not to go bezerk on this blog using much space, thank u and i respect that and sorry again.

    AriesGirl, I hope all is good with you. You keep that beautiful smile on your face while your working and one day out of the blue your taurus friend will come to YOU, not the other way around and ask you for coffee! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Jane, hope you are well and on good communication with your guy feeling free to speak your mind… otherwise, keep observing and u’ll know what level you are on.

    Saggi girl, i so know the frustration you’re feeling with your guy. I went through some of this with my 2 yr taurus guy and oh boy did my feistiness ever drive that man up the wall, lol. it is not good for you to assume he is going to be with another girl while not with you. Remember what you guys told me? He could be testing you.

    Next time you are around him, I want you to be so nice, smile, calm, cool and collected. and be into some hobby or thing you got going on for the moment. That will show him that you are not obsessing over whether he is with a gal or not. And as much as it bothers you, I can assure you, NO OTHER GAL is better for him in your eyes, so he will see this first hand if he were to ever do that… see? and guess what that does? that only reinforces that he wants to be with you! he will be turned off by her and he will say, wow, she doesn’t compare to my saggi girl, she is too superficial, phony… Remember I you are reacting to his energy. It needs to be him going nuts over your energy, like where is my saggi girl, what is she up to? why is she so into that book, or into her career so much?

    when you give him 0 pressure, no jealousy or questions about his time when not with you, that actually draws him back to you quicker, and he starts to trust you. when he is closer to you, that instills more trust in you. insecurity for both is replaced with trust.

    Virgo10, as for intimacy, I would probably wait until you go on physical dates for awhile… when YOU feel (from him and his actions) his messages (not by email, or mouth) then you will sense the right time or if u see this is leading somewhere.

    Emotional intimacy needs to come before physical intimacy. I would be feeling better now if that had happened. i could kick myself for that.

    Lionsroar, God and Goddess bless you for you and all of your posts. I re-read them and yes, I think the best text I ever sent him was short and straight to the point: Smartass

    Love and Hugs to all,
    Mia ~

    Wishing all well:)
    Mia ~

  964. #964 by Jane on January 13, 2010 - 1:47 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi saggi girl,yes you are right he does know how to reach you, you sound so angry with him and i guess you needing some honest attention from him right now. I fully understand you and is so easy to comment on these things,on this site ect when things are not happening to us personally!! I mean i can comment on you, you can comment on me, So that in turn gives each of us a clearer perspective on eachothers stories but when it happening to us, it is so much harder to see.

    Saggi girl , i have followed and read your posts for past few months you have been so close to your guy,in love with him and you been together for so long ,how great is that, so this is ok, just some little insecurities have creeped into your relationship recently for you both and thats ok to solve and part of growth,understanding and continued learning about eachother which of course is what relationships are all about,yes!!?
    It will strengthern the relationship too i am sure.

    These guys test our patients to the limits!!! you both feeling some tension as your reactions to eachother say that! Do you see!? I of course dont know your guy but i wouldnt say he would have/is sticking around if he up to anything. Your gut feeling will guide you. Thats just my veiw. Like i said i think you have hit a ‘little blip’ and that is all.
    Saggi girl, this may help as it helps me at times…think about this being someone elses story/situation, What would you be saying to them? What would you be advising?What would you think? How would you be thinking they should deal with it?
    Just remember how these bulls of ours deal with things. Be calm, i am sure he will listen with full attention then. Dont come from a place of attack,he will withdraw,maybe here him first,pay attention. He then sees you listening to him and that inturn helps him do the same.Follow your heart and do what is right for you. You will be fine i am sure.

    A quick update on my situation. Well we have been having some bad weather, snow ect so we havnt seen eachother since new years eve!!!God i miss him so much. we in touch 3/4 times day still, he texts every morning and through the day I deffinatly feel things getting closer between us but supose i need to see him to feel it for sure. We havnt made any plans as yet so just have to wait!! I am getting good at that!! LOL
    So as for me checking ‘status’ and where he sees me ect, well again i will just have to wait!!!

    Happy days!!

  965. #965 by saggi girl on January 13, 2010 - 2:47 pm

    hi Jane,

    i so admire of your patience, with that type of patience in hand, i am sure you will make it with your bull eventually. My biggest chanllege with my bull is my patience. we fight like a million of times over my impatience and his slow moving..i do not have patience.. not at all.. sometimes, i thought he might be the wrong person for me as it so challenge my patience which i do not have…i am like: if i want anything, i want it now..” that is also something i have been dealing with through the entire course of dating.. he kept telling me that i need to be patient…

    to update with you: he did not call last night.. but i called him instead as he needs to be in court on Thursday.. last time, his lawyer did not show up as he forgot to call.. so he wasted a day.. I was struggling last night if i need to call, i was like back and forth but then i decided to call as his court issue coming up and thought i need to put things down temporarily when there is something big on the side..i called him like 10pm, but he did not answer the phone.. so i did not leave a message, instead, i texted him” just wanted to remind you to call your lawyer. good night.” then he texted me back a few minutes later like” thanks, i will. good night with kisses.”

    i guess i put my pride down this time for him.. as i think when something more important comes up, i need to put a relatively less important things behind( actually it is important for me)..

    i don’t really like who i am now,, i am a very proud person and never wanted to make the move first when there is a fight.. but it seems i did a few times…really hated what i am becoming into..

    Jane, i like you idea of being someone else and respond from that person’s perspective..

  966. #966 by saggi girl on January 13, 2010 - 2:55 pm

    mia,

    thanks for your advice and hope you are doing well.

    it is true that the guy should chase after us but when it comes to taurus.. i do not know why we have to use a lot of energy trying to figure out them..

    i will listen to you for how i should act when i am with him next time.. it sounds a good idea, hopefully i could turn this thing around..

    thanks again.

  967. #967 by Jane on January 13, 2010 - 5:32 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hey, believe me saggi girl, i struggle with patience CONSTANTLY!! really i do. I have never been a patient person either just like you. I laughed reading what you said coz i to want everything in a hurry!! lol I just dont show him that!! I think thats what is helping me coz i supose because of that, it is on some level ‘slowing me down’ to his speed!!! Oh goodness!! lol

    I think you calling him(even tho he didnt answer!) (i hate it when they do that) and then you text, he text back, well he will see from that you care, yes you swollowed your pride (more than stubborn bulls do!!) you thought about him first. You new he had something important coming up, and there you where, that counts for alot eh!!??

    The other thing saggi girl that we hear over and over how ‘bulls’ have something on their mind (him with court) they dont seem to be able to focus on anything else!! Sad but true indeed! OMG!! So that is maybe how you can turn this, put things aside until he has dealt this with you by his side (in person and spirit) He will notice so much how whilst you upset, you where able to put it aside and wait to face him with it later!! You do deserve for him to hear you, keep hold of that thought.

  968. #968 by Jane on January 13, 2010 - 8:25 pm

    Saggi girl and all you ladies

    OMG!!! i just had to give you my update!!!

    Me and my taurus texting back and forth earlier, flirting a little…! Anyway he started getting all serious in text saying how romantic i am ect, so then after a while he sent me a text saying ‘Do you want a kiss’!!! i was thinking oh god how should i respond, is he playing around/joking ect so i just thought what the hell so i text and said ‘yes i would like a kiss’!!!

    Then i panicked thinking oh he just flirting so i sent another text saying ‘oh i get it you going to send me a kiss? he text and said ….this is where i thought OMG!!

    He said ‘when i next see you, i am going to kiss you like i want to and we will enjoy it!! LOL LOL Oh well i went weak at the knees!! lol REMEMBER LADIES!!! WE ARE FRIENDS!!!! What does this mean!!?? What is he thinking!!??Yes i must calm down as its WORDS not ACTION!! I know, i think he means it!! Am i getting carried away here!!

    Well he just rang me, we where on phone for an hour!! Things have deffinatly changed!! I am so excited!!
    He repeated all he said by text and then said ‘you dont believe me do you!? You will have to wait and see!! This is big for him, i just feel it.
    He had better not do a 360 on me now!!

  969. #969 by Mia on January 14, 2010 - 2:41 am

    Hi Ladies!

    Excellent Jane! I’m so proud for you! You are doing very well! I like Saggi girl am thinking how sweet, positive and patient you are!!! And even though you say you are sooo not patient, you have held back even when uncomfortable and let him pace this and now look at how far you have come! Relish and enjoy your sweet guy!!!

    Saggi girl, you are so like me! I was not patient and that is what killed his attraction unfortunately. But you are doing great! I agree with Jane, that was good about calling him, he didn’t pick up, not leaving a message but a gentle text for the court date. That showed you were respectful, you care and he so appreciates that. You see? he responds and sends you kisses, genuine appreciation for you.

    you also act the way i act with my taurus guy (if he ever returns, don’t worry, i’m not waiting with bated breath) but what i did love about us what i wasn’t that needy girl that was a pushover. i was like you, very matter of fact and to the point. i like(d) his rough, gruff self and time will only tell if he misses me. oh i’m going to get out there and date not that i want to but it is best for me. very busy at work and my perspective has changed to do just what Jane says!

    The advice / suggestions we’re offering to each other is not the way i was handling my own situation. had i done the things i’m telling you, then i’d still be with my guy! lol

    Saggi girl, you talk about pride, when u fight and again it is a balance. i kept my problems to myself and he used to tell me i was just like him, but to talk & to allow others to help you. when we fought, he would text, i take it you are mad. i’m sorry. that was so sweet. and another time, i admitted i was really mad at me not him that i was sorry. we had a good balance.

    i’m soooooo happy for you Jane! and I love seeing the “kisses” on ur texts from him Saggi girl!

    we were just to the point of him hugging me, kissing me on lips when he parted our dates, and i realize now because of MY IMPATIENCE, i forced the issue from New Yrs when he never truly stood me up, but did contact me that nite.

    don’t worry i’m not wanting him back if it isn’t God’s plan, i’m just recognizing that instead of me pulling back and being PATIENT, i inadvertently pushed him to this point.

    i also remember telling his friend once when he asked if i wanted us to be “on” again, little did i know that he was only asking that because he liked me and wanted to pursue me. me like an idiot told him the truth and said, ‘yeah’ (meaning i was wanting us to be “on” again….)

    bible study is a wk from tomorrow. have a feeling he will show. we shall see. i will be courteous but not overly excited to see him, my posture will be that of one that has absolutely no interest in him whatsoever. i’m happy and have moved on:)
    will be my mood:)

    Peace to all you beautiful gals,
    Mia~

  970. #970 by saggi girl on January 14, 2010 - 3:22 pm

    hi Jane,

    so so so happy for you. i know you will make it with your guy.. what a great improvement on your side.. so jane, continue to be patient..continue…you will get what you wanted..
    i took back what i said in my last post that you need to do the “status talk”, do not do it until you felt that he was more sure about you.. not when he starts getting closer.. otherwise, you will scare him off.. give it a time.. let him start attaching to you.. one thing i know about taurus guy is that they are slow to attach and also slow to detach.. so, Jane, continue to be wonderful and be patient and sweet..if you got impatient and confused.. come here to talk..

    update with you: he called me last night as during the day i texted him something about my work…he gave me some advice through the text and told me that he will call in the night..

    so it was the first time we ever spoke after the fight on sunday.. he was kind of cold over the phone and just simply talk about business( his court and my job), then i made noise of laugh.. then he was like” what, what that noise about? is somthing wrong again??” then i was like” well, nothing, i am just laughing.” then he was like” why?” i was like” well, nothing, i just missed you, do you?” then he sighed and said” yeah, i do, but we need to talk.. but not tonight.. we will talk it later, do you have anything to say?” then i was like” why you talk like that? why you made it so serious. i wanted to cool off for 2 days then i thought abuot your case coming up, then i told myself to deal with that later, then i texted you” he was like” it is serious.. yeah, i really appreciated and i know that. you made it very obvious that way. that is why i texted you back and even offered you the advice about your work…i do miss you but it just too much for me, it is just getting troublesome. you turned me into cold.” then i was like” can i say something really quick?’ he was like” ok, be quick.” then i told him that the reason i was really mad at him is because he was too short with our date and makes me feel like that he was doing that out of the responsibility.” then he was like” no, i came to see you is because i want to see you and spend some time with you, it was not out of responsility, but you made it into an responsibility that i have to stay long enough when i have something else to do…then i tried to cheer you up but you were not helping the situation and made it even worse.. it is getting troublesome.'” then i was like” well, i was in that mood and it is hard to get out of it.’ then he was like” you were always like that, you need to control yourself..i do miss you but it is too much for me. we can talk about this later but not tonight.. i will call you or text you tomorrow as soon as i got out of the court and let you know how it goes.. we can also talk tomorrow night as i do not need to work…we will talk tomorrow for sure.” then i was like” well, ok, good luck tomorrow.” then we ended the conversation without giving each other kisses like we normally did when we were good… well, i ended the call first when he was still on the phone…i don’t know what he was waiting.. after he said good night.’ but still on the phone.. then i was thinking ” no kiss, fine, it will be too weird to give each other that at the moment..” then i said ” good night’ and hang it up..

    i don’t know what he wants to talk about.. no idea.. but i will be calm..and i have to..

  971. #971 by saggi girl on January 14, 2010 - 3:40 pm

    hi Mia,

    thanks for your word and it seems that you are doing ok.. yeah, i am learning a lot from this relationship..learning to control my emotion and learning to be patient..

    i updated my situation in Jane’s post..hopefully it was nothing bad..

  972. #972 by Mia on January 14, 2010 - 10:22 pm

    Saggi girl,

    Oh I’m sending you lots of love and hugs, I hope it is nothing bad too.

    Need to get back to work, just came on for a second here…

    But whatever happens you will be fine. You can get through anything, whether this is a bump in your relationship, or whatever he tells you…

    I never thought I could handle what I’m going through.

    I still can’t turn off my feelings and not sure he really had developed any feelings for me.

    But I’m moving on regardless and am going to better myself with or without him.

    Hang in there. We are here for you.

    You haven done nothing wrong, this is on him, okay?

    Sending hugs!
    Mia ~
    Remember to wait on him to call you. No, I don’t mean wait… I mean you allow him to call you… ๐Ÿ™‚ He knows you are thinking of him and his court date. Please try to not dwell on it too much as I’m trying very very very hard not to think of my guy that left me.

  973. #973 by Jane on January 14, 2010 - 11:05 pm

    Saggi girl
    Thankyou for your responce to me yes i will do everything to make this work. Things have changed soooo much!! Text me today and he called again tonight for over half hour!! WEIRD!!! He never does that!! As he going off the phone he said ‘text you in the morning when i get to work’!!So far so good i am hoping so xx

    So saggi girl, how are you feeling with things?? There is such a difference in your post and i hear you so low, but do you know what shouts out to me loud!!?? Do you remember you said to me a while back that ‘you love him Jane then go get him, whatever it takes’!! Do you remember saggi girl!!?? Well right back at ya!! I am saying it to you. So we need a plan of action…!!!

    He replied to your text with advice and then called you in the night! He cares and wanted to help, just like you showed your support to him when he had his court issue. I think it sounds like you both felt a little uneasy about giving ‘kisses’ over the phone, you both upset with eachother, if he did send you kisses you may be saying ‘omg how cheeky that he thought sending a kiss would fix things’!! lol maybe!? You are sooo like me and READ IN TO EVERYTHING!!! lol

    Saggi girl i am thinking he wants to talk about how things are between you, he knows you have been upset, he prob upset too. The thing here is these guys dont like ‘the talk’ they really dont so for him to be textin/ calling saying he wants to talk really is i think a good sign and you must go for it!! Be that calm ,confident sexy feminine beautiful women he fell for! Dont let him get away!!!

  974. #974 by Jane on January 14, 2010 - 11:25 pm

    Mia

    Hi Mia

    I just read your post to saggi girl, what lovely words. I notice you said you have to get back to work so as i am about to ‘drop’ SOOOO tired i will respond to you in the morning. Thankyou, you are so sweet…
    Keep strong!!

  975. #975 by Mia on January 15, 2010 - 3:24 am

    Jane, Saggi girl,

    Jane is exactly right, be that calm, confident, smiling sexy feminine beautiful woman he fell for and that you already are! That actually helps give me confidence too, thanks Jane.

    Jane so happy for you! I was reading how he texts, calls and tells you he will text in the morning, soooo sweet! just relax and relish how precious he is… that really reminds me of my situation, it was so wierd the 2 weeks before New Yrs, he was texting and calling every single day, making plans, and spoke with me longer than 20 minutes on the phone! lol he also had just started hugging and kissing me on the lips and spooning me, playing wii and laughing it was so sweet, he took me to church, i was shocked, and it was very nice.

    i truly do not think he meant to hurt me, he never said a cross word to me even now, nor i him. i think he ran into this gal from his past and wanted to see what would happen, and i can understand that when i think about it. and since i saw him connect with her on the messenger, i do know he was telling the truth, so i know i did nothing wrong on my part.

    Saggi girl, Jane IS right. I do remember I HAD to have a plan of action to keep “my future door” open for him and I was prepared when he called me last. it was so sweet because when he called (for the last time) we greeted like we normally do & he asked about me and what I was doing, very sweet. my plan was to be positive NO MATTER what, and NO MATTER what he told me i would be calm, and confident. i was. i even slowed him down. he did not want to tell me there was another woman, i already knew… so i calmly said, “there just has to be another woman in here somewhere?” (for him not showing up New Yrs)

    then he told me. told me that he ran into a gal from his past. i said, “and u want to pursue her?” he said, “yes”.

    then i had to stop in mid-sentence as i found myself telling him to leave the door open for us but that would have sounded needy, desperate… i immediately thought of my plan! something to let him know i was 2 steps back remember??? (always give the guy you want the impression you don’t like him as much as he likes you, staying 2 steps back. that draws him into you, they want what is hard to catch… u know… acting nice, but not overboard. and when they leave u, not grovelling..

    here was my plan and here is what i told him
    (these 2 things i told him JUST raised his interest in me, and it magically left that door open, and my demeanor, calm, confident wishing him well, of course i was crushed and hurt, but didn’t let him know this) (i sobbed my heart out after the call, it was tragic)

    but i said to him very calmly, “m”, “it’s weird you say that for there have been a couple guys from my past that have come in contact with me that asked me out, but i didn’t gp out of respect for you and our relationship, but since u ran into a woman in your past, and want to pursue her, i can see about dating again sometime soon.”
    “as for going out with your friend, i just can’t because after 7 months of dating you, i kind of developed some feelings for you, and i just can’t turn them off so easily yet. please tell him i just can’t, i would appreciate it.”

    that’s it. nope, he did not recipricate, he just said he would tell his friend. nope, he did not wish me well too. he did tell me to get the oil changed in my truck though, and where to go to get it done. lol.

    it wasn’t pleasant, but i knew it was the healthy thing to do.

    Jane, i am trying very hard to keep strong, but it’s been kind of a sad day, just thinking about it too much. i’ll get some sleep.

    Sending special hugs to our sweet Saggi girl… you are stronger than me, both of you! i am learning from both of you too.
    Thank you,
    Take care and sending you both hugs!
    Mia ~

  976. #976 by Jane on January 15, 2010 - 10:21 am

    Mia

    Hi and thankyou i want to say how i do admire how strong you are and have been over this. He really has lost a good woman and his loss it really is!!

    I know you have been really upset inside Mia and rightly so, but you have kept it together and been calm feminine and all those wonderful things you are (especially to his face lol) we all know how important this is dealing with these bulls they hate drama!! Oh never mind the drama they give us!! lol

    Your right you have left the door open, he may be back when his ego calms down by then he may be lucky and you still there, he also may be unlucky as some deserving guy could have stepped into his shoes!!

    You carry on Mia, be strong let him see you in church or bible meetings and see you shine right there in front of him!! Keep smiling

  977. #977 by saggi girl on January 15, 2010 - 2:59 pm

    hi Mia,

    thank you for your response and i so admire of your being strong… we do need to have some plans to catch those bulls…i think right now, you need to step back like you said, go to church and shine right in front of him( like Jane said), pretended nothing happened between you and him.. be sweet and calm..

    one thing i learned from those bulls and also saw the discussion from another site wrote by a girl who married taurus, she stated that it was not easy to deal with them, when they say they love you, they mean it. but they can not deal with emotion, especially from other people. she also said that we need to pay attention to what they said and watch his action but keep emotion in purse..
    one thing draw them in is the confidence… they love confident woman..

    so, it seems like that they love a woman with those qualities: calm, keep their emotion on track, patient and self-confident.. let ‘s be that type of woman… i believe we can do it.. Jane, Mia and me…LOL
    I liked your response to him, so far you did a great job as you did not show desperate side to him and i know it will turn them off if you do…even though we do sometimes, but just do not show it to them…

  978. #978 by saggi girl on January 15, 2010 - 3:18 pm

    HI Jane,

    thanks for your words…and i do understand what you meant..i learned something everytime when we had a fight.. i do need to control my emotion, if i was not happy and i just need to tell him in a assertive way instead of being emotional and drag in into a huge drama( like slam the door or crying).. i guess he hated it..

    he called me last night and i was kind of nervous actually during the day as i do not know what he is going to talk about..but when i answered the phone, he sounds ok and a little bit positive.. he did not mention about the problem between us.. just told me what happened with his case and he wanted to work at his current job for another 2 years to accumulate enough experience before moving on to another company that can offer better.. then he teased me a little bit.. and asked how my day was… then he told me that he will see me during the weekend…then i said” good, so we will enjoy each other.’ then he said” yeah, we will see.” then i was like” baby, i guarantee you that we will enjoy.” he was like” yeah? you guarantee? hopefully.” then he told me that he will go having a drink with his coworker after work today and will call me on saturday…” then i told him that i will text him before i go to bed tonight.. then he gave me the kisses over the phone and i gave it back to him.. then i said” baby, i am sorry.” then he was like” it’s ok, just do not talk about it anymore..”

    Jesus, I guess we are ok now..but i learned from it.. i need to control my emotion..gave him the space he needed to do his own thing.. but i guess he got how i felt too on that night when we did the talk for the first time after the incident..as i told him that i just feel like that he came to see me out of responsibility.. but he told me that i need to tell him instead of being emotional.. wearing a long face and refuse to hold his hand like a baby girl..

    I guess we are ok now..thanks for you and Mia’s support. it means a lot to me..

  979. #979 by Jane on January 15, 2010 - 10:09 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi well hey saggi girl,Yes you do seem to be ok now!! lol These men are so funny!! Funny strange not funny ha,ha!! LOL Your conversation with him sounded so sweet,he really does not want drama from you,saying ‘dont talk about it anymore’ It sounds like he wants to put it behind you both. Its nice to that he teasing and being playful with you, he trying to keep it ‘light’, and no ‘tension’

    I would like to share this with you. One thing i have learnt with taurus is they really do take on board what you say i mean he may not respond but he will be anylising everything you have said and done!! REALLY!!
    Your guy has probably done that too.

    My guy does it, i have over the last few months really studied him and watched how he responds to things, he always asks questions in such a way that there is almost like a ‘2nd meaning to them!! Like he is waiting to see if i answer ‘correctly’!!
    I know that this is his way of ‘checking me out’!!
    He called me again tonight!!! 45mins on phone, thats 3 nights in a row and texts too!!! OMG!! This is all so new!!! Loving it!! LOL

    So saggi girl, yes calm down (difficult i know!) control thos emotions (come here to vent frustrations!) And give you guy what you promised… You gaurenteed him a good time!! Go for it!!

  980. #980 by Jane on January 15, 2010 - 11:05 pm

    Mia

    Hi Mia

    Thankyou for your encouraging words, you are so lovely. Yes i am enjoying things at the moment. Things still very ‘SLOW!! LOL but hey moving never the less!!
    I havnt saw him yet so still waiting for that ‘KISS’ he promised!!!!

    I realise how hard it is to be/remain strong, yes i do understand that. Mia you are doing absolutly everything so right, you are loving your self,respecting yourself and doing all you can for ‘you’ to continue, get through this, one way or another you my dear are ‘shining’ Your work is done!! Its up to him now. The door is open for ‘him’ or some lucky ‘someone’ to walk through!! Thats for sure!!

  981. #981 by Mia on January 16, 2010 - 2:48 am

    Dearest Jane, Saggi girl,
    Ah, you both are too adorable, thank you so very much for your kind words. It helps me more than you can ever know.

    and uh, like “hello, i know…” on what you say Jane about them (taurus men:) remembering what we say and though they do not say a thing about it, they do remember what we say!!! and yes! they ask us questions to “test” us to see what our answer will be and if we pass the test! lol… my guy, did that at the very end remember? he was going nuts asking me if i called his friend…. he did this for 2 days straight until I finally gave him his answer. i just don’t think he would have cared if he didn’t still have feelings for me.

    and i think he has the answer now, (no contact with his friend, no contact with ‘m’, no desire to go with his friend) the one that makes him beam and knows that i’m still ‘mia’ to him, no matter what happens to me, i’m stable, & still true to him & myself, believe in him even now when he chooses to replace my company, i haven’t changed my opinion or demeanor in regards to him. my wish is for his happiness, peace and salvation, and allow God’s plan (even though God knows i would have wished for him to have found he loves me, so he could have allowed my love to soothe his precious soul that i feel is so badly damaged now, so distrusting of love. oh how i deeply love him.)

    but have found God’s grace though my pain. and I am only bettering myself and am learning that letting go of what you can not control, relaxing into it though painful, is not only freeing but it something of a beautiful blessing. It is so utterly empowering to know i no longer am scared or feel anxiety about whether he comes back or not. That I realize is the very place I needed to be in order to experience selfless humility and beautiful grace. this is the closest i have felt to unconditional love. love with 0 conditions. to me. to my precious soul “m”. to everyone around me. (don’t laugh but kind of like the Whovilles who still gather together and sing around that tree without a care in the world when they got robbed of all their material possessions from the Grinch. that isn’t what love is about. and in my case, even when a precious human being is taken from my midst, whom i love dearly but needs much growth for himself & for me too as you see, i release in my mind, let go and allow all that happens to me to show the more i release what controls me unto God, the far greater my blessing in return.

    Relax and enjoy your precious men AND YOURSELVES this weekend. PAMPER yourself and keep smiling as i am too:) thank you soooooo very much! am so happy for you both!

    Sending love and hugs xox,
    Mia ~

  982. #982 by virgo10 on January 18, 2010 - 1:54 am

    hey everyone,

    so i just need some advice.

    i think I might have just ended things with my taurus and I am sad and disappointed at the same time. once again he cancelled out on, this being like the 6th time saying he had a headache. i told him not to bother with me and that i was stupid for believing in him. he told me he would make a believer out of me and i told him i had already given him too many chances and that he obviously didn’t care. i ended it by saying karma is a bitch. i dont think i should have said that… now im biting my tongue NOT to respond back saying that i didnt mean it… i really, really like this guy and i hope he likes me too, but i think i just killed it…i’m hoping if hes still interested he will get in touch with me…but if not??

    any advice would be helpful. thanks.

  983. #983 by Mia on January 18, 2010 - 4:40 am

    Hi Virgo10, Jane, Saggi girl, Everyone:)

    Virgo10, first of all, sweet hugs to you for feeling so bad, ohhhh I sooooo know the feeling. secondly, please know you are so beautiful, ANY man would be only so lucky to share the delightful company as yourself! You already know this, I know you do… but we just wanted our “smartaxx” Taurus men to acknowledge this. Somehow, they have it that we’re too predictable, too available, and in some cases, we aren’t even doing anything, “0” pressure and they run scared…. that was just about my case. I had two slip ups, but was always saying yes to “dates”, rarely making myself unavailable, and 1 + 1 = 2 …..

    1 (me not backing off more and into my own stuff, geez!) + 1 (him running into a woman from his past; if it were to happen guess now is best for him to figure out things) = ditching me by standing me up, although don’t think he set this up this way… I think he meant to ‘date’ me and her at the same time because I was the one that had to “lure” this info out…

    Yup, I saw he had connected with someone Christmas Day at 3 am (on messenger, must have been the woman)

    The weird thing was I did always tell him he could date whomever, I never want a guy that doesn’t want me or is unsure of me. He just said we “argue” too much. we had one argument 1 month ago, we’ve been fine, just an excuse. We were MORE than fine, he was getting closer to me emotionally.

    Virgo10, Jane, & Saggi girl – after our last date where we stayed up til 1:30 am playing wii, much fun, he stepped right up to me kissed me full on lips to tell me good bye, yes like a couple. and even now, our last texts from january 11, 1:51 am, i told him i’m happy for him, god bless him & will have to get a new camping buddy (yes we LOVED camping, canoeing, pool, racketball & were planning horseback riding before he met this girl) my text must have awoken him, but he still didn’t get mad! he just was saying to me, “once again you have to get the last word in…” lollllllllll he is still adorable to me even in his last text, ah bittersweet.

    It isn’t over for you and well, hope it isn’t for me either.

    Virgo10, urs was similar to mine, i also said “don’t bother” when he said “still tied up” on new yrs when he asked me out. I so wanted to say I was stupid for believing in him, but instead i wanted to convey i will never give up believing in him (in that to be true to himself in keeping commitments, not just to me you see) i said, “this is not the ‘m’ i know.”

    u told him ‘karma is a bitch.’ when we first were together i said, ‘love sucks.’ i know i know I have been biting my tongue to say i didn’t mean to be so friendly when i was so mad and hurt “wishing him well, happiness…” i wanted to whoop his axx so mad at him. but i let his last text (last word) “once again, you have to get the last word in” be the last text.

    i will let you know if he comes to bible study at my home this thursday… hmmmm… i will be confident, smiling and will appear i have moved on, it’s done… if he shows up, he will be curious about me. if he does not, he will be scared to face me i think… i plan on starting to date soon too:) so i am fine with or without him and actually living it whether i feel it or not:)

    Virgo10, honey, you WILL fine with or without him.

    I knooooooooow you reeeeeeeeeeally like him, i have fallen for my guy too but as hard as it is, you and i need to start our plan called stop thinking about that guy plan. you are beautiful and above this and so am i.

    he has to contact YOU. and with mine, i will not answer his call, i will not answer his text, he will reeeeeaaaaallly have to work if he wants me back. YOU too. i’m learning to respect myself and ur guy and mine need to know we may be already taken by the time they get around to us, otherwise, they will have to work, the more work, the more respect for YOU.

  984. #984 by Jess on January 18, 2010 - 11:06 am

    Virgo10,

    Your guy is taking you for granted. He might has good reasons for standing you up (headache or whatever) but if he is taking you serious he would not keep messing up for 6 times but make sure the next time he ask to meet he must definitely make it no matter what. However you can not do anything on his part to make him change or improve but you can do on your part by not letting anyone treating you like this over and over.
    My advice is keep your pride and show him you got a backbone. Ignore his call or text, reply with short and unemotional message if necessary. No need to force yourself to shut the door for him, keep it open but let him know he can not just enter that door with asstitude. Next time he ask to meet, turn it down BUT WITH REASON (just make up anything) because the best way to handle Taurus is to counter back with reason. Keep doing this until he can see his genuine improvement. Oh and don’t worry that he’ll be gone and give up on you. Taurus never give up IF YOU MEAN SOMETHING TO THHEM!

  985. #985 by virgo10 on January 18, 2010 - 3:00 pm

    thanks guys for your advice but its over.

    i cracked down and texted him saying i didnt really mean the karma thing and that i just dont understand him. he texted back saying he believes in karma and that the only reason he kept on cancelling was bc he didnt think he could do anything with me bc of family issues. his parents want an indian girl for him, and I am not indian. this frusturates me bc if he knew why didnt he tell me? then he states if we can still be friends? i’m like no. he was just very selfish and played with my feelings. he obviously didnt feel the same way about me as I did, so he didnt even try. i know family is important so hes not going to fight it. so theres nothing i can do, it just sucks, we were not meant to be, i just wish i would’ve known sooner bc i fell hard for him.

    good luck to everyone else. i know these guys are special so i wont give up on taurus guys in general, perhaps theres one out there ๐Ÿ™‚

  986. #986 by Jess on January 18, 2010 - 3:35 pm

    virgo10,

    Ooch the culture! I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you. I have an Indian friend who keep dating hot girls but will only looking for Indian wife, he explained me how hard girls from other culture can fit in and get along. It’s quite strict to only marry within the same culture for them.

  987. #987 by virgo10 on January 18, 2010 - 3:54 pm

    jess,

    yeah i know… lol i didnt know their parents are so old school. the thing is I’m latin, so i have my own culture as well and we live in a very multicultural city, i am very tolerant person and welcome different cultural traditions. i just dont understand this mentality, it sucks… i don’t understand why he can’t give us a chance, will his parents automatically hate me without giving me a chance?? i dont know… i’m heart broken… and to top it off he keeps texting me ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  988. #988 by Jane on January 18, 2010 - 9:19 pm

    Virgo 10

    So sorry to hear what has been happening to you. yes he should have been up front with you. I know it may not feel like it now but better now than getting further hurt down the line. Be strong you know you will get through this.

    I hope you are ok, his loss eh virgo 10!! Someone elses gain…

    Jess

    Hi there Jess, lovely that you are back!! How are things with you and your lovely Taurus!!?

    I guess you may have read my update!! Oh yes things looking good so far except he hasnt initiated contact for 3days, not like him at all, especially since we got sooo close and he says he wants to kiss me!! I text twice over week end, he replied yes, but i feel he backing up or maybe just ‘THINKING!!! As these guys do so much lol. I hope so. Am i THINKING to much!!!? LOL
    GREAT you are back Jess i hope you are well and happy….

  989. #989 by Mia on January 19, 2010 - 1:42 am

    Hey Jess, Virgo10, Jane, Saggi girl, everyone,

    What is up with these taurus guys? unbelievable. Sooooo sorry Virgo10, I so don’t want you hurting anymore with him still texting you… I know it is so hard, if you do text him back, I’d go with Jess’ advice with non-emotional short text back. I need to heed that advice myself for I am way too gullible and can’t tell when a guy doesn’t take me seriously as with my taurus that just left me.

    Jess, I would always give my taurus guy a reason if I could not go out and he would too, HOWEVER, I noticed early in the relationship when he stood me up a couple times, he did NOT offer a reason. It is like he went from distrusting, bad behavior, disrespectful… to trusting, good behavior, respectful towards me as our relationship went on (7 mo, however he never declared love to me, just that he had feelings for me). Up until HOURS before he was to take me out New Yrs… only a text “still tied up” (meaning I guess he was with the woman he now is pursuing? i am now suspecting he asked and met her the very same day, new yrs eve and just decided to stay with her) but he offered NO explanation as to why he stood me up… NO reason…. hm.

    my question is… if a taurus guy likes to have a reason you can’t go out…. Do they normally give you a reason why they cannot go out if they cancel ? that is a sign they are serious with you?

    my guy sure backtracked, or maybe he just gets too close and wants out. he went from another relationship of 2 mo. to be with me, me 7 mo. now off to another gal… hm.

    Jane, you hang in there, you keep up that beautiful attitude even with him not texting for 3 days…

    i do need all the help i can get. i’m reading an online book about not calling or initiating texts, emails, calls, and rarely calling back to help protect yourself from guys.

    jess i need some of that backbone to check guys assitude at the door before i EVER allow another taurus or any man back into my life. so tired of getting burned and want to recognize signs for next time.

    hope all is well with you and so glad you are back!

  990. #990 by Lionsroar on January 19, 2010 - 2:09 am

    Hi Ladies,
    Sorry to hear some of these update. Stay busy, no texting, no calling, no stalking and above all no being RUDE. Keep your integrity. The thing about these men and all others, they like the chase and want what they cant have. Do NOT be mean. My motto is: I can never have enough friends… even the shitheads that slighted me.. I can work around that! If you are meant to be with someone you are, sometimes you are not and actually they came into your life to help you. You dont know how until later down the road Sometimes relationships help you to find strength in yourself, break unhealthy habits, teach us to be alone, learn to love yourself, and sometimes give you strength and say YES to things you may never have done. Every interation is a spring board in your soul.. They are gifts .. even the bad ones you want to so badly give back.. LOL. Just remember while you are learning to be strong on your own you are learning to BE ON YOUR OWN and you are a stronger wiser woman this time around. So if he doesnt call, come back.. who gives a whoop? You’re ahead of the game because you have already eliminated daily/weekly contact..That’s 75% of the battle. They were not there a year ago and YOU WERE JUST FINE!!

    Last thing… always walk and go out with your head up.. you never know who is looking at you. It might be him or it might be the one you were suppose to meet but couldnt until you went through a lesson or two.

    Best to all..xo

  991. #991 by Mia on January 19, 2010 - 8:57 am

    Lionsroar,

    Thank you! I’m learning that some women (like me) do not know or live the concept that a man wants what he can’t have…

    So if that is the case, the longer and harder it takes to catch u (never fully getting u:), the more he will love and respect, the easier, faster it takes, the less respect, and may not love at all, and loose interest all together. some women like u naturally are tough cookies & stay so busy with ur lives, the men have to squeeze into ur schedule… as it should be. And my schedule should be packed, if not, then that is my problem, stop dropping my life for a guy. (the guys i don’t like, avoid, are the ones who still pay attention to me)

    well guess who just sent me a text??? hm….

    ‘m’ is asking “if it will be a problem for him to come to my house for bible study this thursday nite?”

    It is working!

    I agreed with break up. was happy for him. NO contact.

    now he is initiating!!!

    now what?

    please tell me? do i answer his text???

    xoxox to all.

  992. #992 by Jess on January 19, 2010 - 11:02 am

    Hi Jane and the ladies,

    I’m fine just being very busy trying to pursue my career. There is something up about the business opportunity and I really want to start building up something for myself this year.

    Thanks for asking, things with me and my sweet bull is going great. He told me again in text on New Year day that he really loves me. I didn’t reply back until after few hours because I didn’t know what to say so I said something else instead…

    I’m not sure how long things will keep going great like this because he is going back to his hometown in Europe in a few months and stay for 2 months. After he’s back again he will move to stay at another city which is like 2 hours away from me by car. I don’t believe nor want to work hard for long distant relationship. We have not talked seriously about it yet and I’ll leave it to him.

  993. #993 by Jess on January 19, 2010 - 11:14 am

    Mia,

    Leave it a day and reply his text tomorrow, telling him something like: it’s not so convenient to have him around on Thursday night because you are not sure you are going out.

    Remember keep it short and simple and unemotional. Do not try to complain or put in emotion saying how he can not treat you like this… Yes we said it among us girls how we will not let a guy walk all over us but we don’t say it right out to a guy because they interpret it as ‘we care’ and ‘drama’

    I’m sure your refusal will disappoint him but at the same time it becomes a new target set for him to accomplish!

    Do not always be there for his demand. We may not be able to beat them when it comes to patient nor stubborness but we can incite them to have it our way… sometimes…lol.

  994. #994 by Jess on January 19, 2010 - 11:19 am

    Oh Mia, if after you reply his text and he text something back (ie. asking why or what you are doing on Thursday night, or saying something), do not answer anything back again. You are allowed to send him only 1 text just to reply his first text! (in case you are so tempted and get soft wanting to reply him, wait another day to reply ok?) LOL sorry for being manipulating!

  995. #995 by Jess on January 19, 2010 - 11:41 am

    Hi again Jane,

    I guess my mind is too messed up or being occupied with many subjects… To be honest I didn’t and couldn’t follow all the comments but see from your tone that your situation is going well. I recall when you said your guy told you he will kiss you next time and got you all up and intrigued but then he get a bit relaxed and quiet, its so typical Taurus at least with mine that he always exaggerate his feelings in text and say something prior to our trip like he was going to prepare something special for me or that missing me too much he will lock us in room and have sex all the trip… Got me so excited and nervious. You have to not putting too much weight when he said something because they act out of impulse also I mean he will say what he think or feel at the moment but next moment is another story lol. Try to relax about him not so attentive, i guess its the same with most of the guys when they start to feel that they have our heart…

  996. #996 by Lionsroar on January 19, 2010 - 1:44 pm

    Mia,
    Absolutly reply.. short and sweet! Be true to yourself and who you are. Remember try to keep all communication down to two sentances.. SO make them count.

    good luck

  997. #997 by scorpiogirlx on January 19, 2010 - 1:54 pm

    hi, just thought i’d add something about my experience with a taurus man.
    i met him on a nigh out with my friends and he told me he really liked me… we swapped numbers and we were texting for a few days and i asked him to meet up with me.
    we went out to the cinema and it was great. he text me as soon as i got home and told me that he had a great time with me. we were texting eachother for a few weeks and he asked me out again for a drink that also went well. he was texting me everyday for another couple of weeks then all of a sudden he stops. i left it for about a week to text him again and he ignored me. i really liked him and wanted to be with him and i would text him every so often asking how he was etc and i got nothing…then one day he actually told me to stop texting him. i was really upset. . . a few months later and ive seen him out. i just ignored him and didnt look at him but my friends said that he kept looking at me… im really confused i had stopped thinking about him for a few months and now that i know he was looking at me, i feel that he might still like me and now i cant stop thinking about him..:(
    what do you all think?

  998. #998 by Mia on January 19, 2010 - 6:37 pm

    Jess, Lionsroar, Jane, and ladies,

    Excellent advice Jess and Lionsroar, just what I needed to hear.

    Jess, you are so strong and it is hard with your current situation, but you are concentrating on your career which sounds great. and I would feel the same way about my guy if he was far away from me and having to spend time away from me… and then choosing to be in another city or wherever he settles, you are thinking very clearly. For ur health I would not choose a long distance relationship, even 2 hours unless HE made a huge effort. Did that, it took my esteem & heart. So glad you did not say “i love you” back knowing the circumstances and know that had to be very very hard, BUT you drew him closer mentally by changing subject. Know ur in my thoughts. U are in control and ball in his court, i admire you (and Lionsroar) very much!

    Okay Jess, only one text allowed from me, got it, that is the basic rule stuff I need to hear! He was texting me to ask if it was okay for him to come to my house for bible study since I am having it at my home this Thursday. He was trying to be courteous, and yes i think he is also trying to feel me out to see if i am available for him to sneak back into my life.

    I have not texted him back. He sent this last night at 11:12 pm.

    My response, yes short and sweet, a bit of apathy too, just as you both said Jess / Lionsroar. I’m happy busy.

    I will reply something like this: “it’s fine. no problem.”

    I know that does not sound overly enthusiastic, but that is me, it’s a nice calm response.

    I can tell you what I WON’T be from now on, I won’t be too sugary, cheerleadery, sweet, with tons of thank yous. that was me trying to win him and now it will be HIM trying to win me.

    My message to him / body language isn’t really different, remember I basically treated him as a friend, the problem was I allowed him to get intimate with me with basically no strings attached, it became kind of like FWB. That screwed up my mind to resent his behavior, i lost control, gave him the power, he naturally mistreated me, disrespected me.

    Lionsroar, Jess, if he tried to subtly get back in, then asks me out??? at that time, I will say this, “I would only go out with you as a friend, not a date, because you were right, we argue too much and it wouldn’t work out, besides I was NOT ready for a relationship and I just want to keep things light and have fun enjoying company of my friends.” something like that…

    My calendar will be filled up with mundane things that are super!!! Friday nite cleaning, wahoo, Saturday, lunch with Mom, play games with Vaden (my son) Saturday nite…

    That way I AM IN CONTROL and getting my life, career (yes working on this too!) home, and finances organized! bettering myself (exercising too!)

    Scorpiogirlx, always remember to let the guy do ALL the work. Sorry to hear your story, but you were naturally repelling him with your attention. Your basic rule, ESPECIALLY if you like a guy, let him do the staring, let him do the texting, contacting you, do not initiate anything. and do NOT respond back so quickly. Do just THE OPPOSITE of what you want to do, and you will be surprised at how many guys will suddenly want to be with you. I was just like you, now with tons of reading, experiencing each guy I ‘practice’ on the healthy way not just to get the guy but FOR YOUR emotional health. You GAIN esteem for yourself, confidence doing this & u get the guy too. Research and read as much as you can and you can avoid much heartache in future.

    Remember sweet Scorpiogirlx, your LIFE IS COMPLETE NOW. without ANY guy, remember, you don’t even need a guy, hee hee:)

    the guy that is starting to chase me again now that i am so smitten with “m” (wahoo!) was FIRST ATTRACTED TO ME because WHY??? well, I got out there and was ALWAYS biking with my friends each weekend, camping with my friends, tennis, fishing, involved in church, volunteering, doing fun fun things! he kept saying, “I wanna go!” he did this all the time! He wanted to go so bad! I was so happy, cheerful, and would keep him on my email list of friends, and i was complete. BUT i naturally pulled him off the list so he would start being curious… i need to get Back TO ME now, like I was when he first met me:)

    Lionsroar, Jess??? one quick question and ur opinion please…

    I have made it clear with him that there are a few guys that have asked me out (ok, not really) but when I finally got him to admit he ran into a girl from his past (yes, i found this when i pulled up his messenger profile, so I KNEW ALREADY there was a gal, of course I DID NOT LET HIM KNOW THIS, smile) I casually & calmly asked if there might be a gal, he admitted that he ran into this gal. In order for me to control conversation, I asked, “and you want to pursue her” he said yes.

    that is when I told him that actually a couple guys from my past had come around and asked me out… BUT out of respect for him I did not go… now I can since you want to pursue her. I ended it there because he was asking me if I WANTED TO GO OUT WITH HIS BEST FRIEND? no really, his friend has mentioned TO ME that he wanted to take me out (because he could see “m” mistreating me… remember we did things together like play pool with me and his friend and “m” at times…

    I can tell you that was a test, I passed, because I told him I still had feelings for him that I just can’t turn off right now. I can’t date your friend I said.

    okay, my question: What do I say IF HE ASKS ME consistently on Friday nights what I’m doing AND what do I say IF HE ASKS ME if I am DATING OTHER GUYS, or if I’ve gone out with the guys that asked me???

    I will be going out with my girlfriends but guess I am VERY CLOSE to signing up for a date site and just going out a few times… I THINK I need to get out there anyway???

    Please tell me your thoughts. MUCH APPRECIATED.
    xoxoxxo to all.

  999. #999 by Lionsroar on January 19, 2010 - 8:32 pm

    Mia;

    One word learn to us it.. “buddies”.. that is a nice broad term that can apply to male as well as female friends..

    Hell you could actually be online on this site Saturday night.. You’re reply to him if he questioned what you did.. or any other man for that matter should be.. “Oh I was hanging out with some buddies. I’m, sorry U caught me in the middle of something, I’ll chat with you later. Bye “..

    And dont call back later… Later does not mean 5 minutes, 1 hour, that day or even the same month.. it means “later”..

    Short, sweet not lying just not telling everything and using very creative language. let his mind play the devil for a while… hahahaha

    I love to use words… And yes Less is more..and if you are busy, busy or he calls and you say I’m sorry I cant talk right now I have company and hang up.. He’ll flip. hahaha (yah I did that once..)

    You do not owe him indepth descriptions or explanations..

    Yep.. love my buddies… ‘later’ ๐Ÿ™‚

    *see how easy that sentance was..
    xo

  1000. #1000 by Mia on January 20, 2010 - 6:18 am

    Lionsroar,
    hm… actually i used the term ‘buddies’ in my last text to him (b4 today:) I said, “p.s. now i’m going to have to find a new fishing, canoeing buddy:)”

    but i am afraid i wasn’t so short with my texts… i was sweet and informative, but this was different because i was not talking about the relationship…

    let me explain & u can tell me how i did please…

    i did reply: “it’s fine. no problem”
    within 1 minute his reply: “i won’t be going thursday.”

    i felt sorry for him, yup, know i should not, but he took from my message i was mad at him. i do know him and i do know this is how he replies when he feels rejected by me and sorry for himself. yes i know let him… but my message was short, just not sweet, so i texted him again 2 hrs later telling him i was getting my son tested at dr and that i’ve been busy with it, that it was thoughtful to ask me and i appreciate it. that i’m happy if he would like to come, that he should know he is welcome and i understand either way. wished him well.

    then nothing from him so that was fine. i know him and knew he read it i didn’t need to hear back from him and was/am not ready for conversation….

    was busy at work saw my cell light up at 4:30 pm it was him calling me! i had another number call 2 minutes after that text above, i know it was him… i did not answer, really was busy at work too… he left a message!

    i listened about 30 minutes later and it was very sweet. he said, hate to bother you just wanted to ask you what kind of testing for “v” and how it went. to give him a call back if i can thanking me too.

    it was so sweet, very thoughtful.

    so i may have broken a rule… i texted him again. was NOT ABOUT TO CALL him back, i do not feel like talking to him yet and i’m learning less is best with communication like texting, calling, etc.

    i texted: that i got his message, thanks, explained the tests he took and that i have been going from school to school to obtain records… said in a hurry to wrap up at work, to work out, then choir, that i’d talk2 him later, feel free to come thursday:) (the smile face does not make a smile face like here of course….)

    the message conveyed to him, giving him facts as he was asking about my son, and giving him the message he is welcome for bible study, steering that i will see him later in week, to let him know i appreciate his thoughtfulness and inquiry, here’s what happened with “v” testing, see you and done with a smile.

    now i’m satisfied that he is satisfied so no texting nor calls….

    this should work until thursday rolls around, i’m going to be cleaning and won’t have time,plus i don’t want much communication now… just a tiny bit….

    thanks lionsroar and until he asks me to message with him online, i broke off the connection…

    xoxoxoxoxo ok, short and sweet from now on… i know i was too wordy and explained too much, but i’m my genuine self, i will try to be short and sweet from now on… xoxox

    yes, i see how easy yours is, you are better at this than moi… i’ll do better next time, lol ๐Ÿ™‚

  1001. #1001 by Mia on January 22, 2010 - 4:27 am

    Ladies, Lionsroar, Jane,
    Not so good. His behavior tonight shows me he will not change, unbelievable. Unless he is testing me, he is soooooooooooo NOT into me at all. I’m resolving in my head to so move on from this guy. It hurts. Actually it is excruciating, but NO matter what I WILL and CAN do this. I need ur hugs please, ur great advice.

    he texted me last nite asking if i was up, how am i? i texted back later this afternoon, ‘i’m very good, hope he is well.’

    then he shows up at my house for bible study, speaks to others, just says hi to me like not a biggee. sits next to the gal he keeps as his ‘buddy’ and they whisper back n forth the entire nite, this used to happen at the other times in bible study, after he left the other gal for me. it was nauseating.

    they are all friends and they try to get ‘m’ to do things, he does and after study, he walked past me not looking at me saying bye and spoke to this gal and another for awhile, got in his truck (he parked in my driveway, the others on the street) and left.

    the other guys at study so helpful, laughing with me, maybe he felt threatened? i don’t know.

    if he was making me jealous, he was. one time i said, why don’t you just date her? he said, no she’s ugly.. he once told me she asked if they were dating (he would pick her up to go to bible study but not me?) and he said no just friends.

    she is safe. AND SHE was initiating just as much as him.

    you see when we were dating, he had them as “separate” friends from me. they at one time were trying to “set him up with her” but he told me he had no interest in her only as a friend.

    he could see guys laughing with me, helping me move chairs, (he did not, oh but used to help me, talk to me in the group, be4 we were in an intimate relationship, hm) especially the leader who is awesome and stayed til the end. no i am not interested, but “m” is either insecure to compete? or he is totally not into me or JUST FOR ONE THING… hm…

    i was so observant of him “flirting” around me with her and a few others kind of, he never would join the conversation with me and debbie for instance, but as soon as i stopped, and turned to someone, he was standing nearby and started talking to debbie. what gives?

    too long here, this is killing me. what i am learning here is ONE: I will NEVER be intimate with any man again unless I have his heart. TWO: I need to DATE, DATE to take my MIND off this man! he is killing me here.

    wait. i keep forgetting to allow 24 hrs to feel. just observe his behavior STOP putting my emotion to it. but he came, sat next to her and whispered the entire nite and left speaking with her before getting into truck and leaving. not once one word of how are you to me. there ya go.

    lionsroar, jess and all, tell me not to cry. these stupid hormones.

    mia

  1002. #1002 by Jane on January 22, 2010 - 1:07 pm

    Mia

    Hi Mia, BIG HUGS to you my dear. My goodness what is your guy doing!!?? He sounds like he doesnt know what he wants!!! On some level he sounds like he is moving on too but then … the texts to you!!! What is that about???

    The thing to look at here too Mia is he may have been texting you to make things easier for himself to come to bible study.He may think you moved on!! He may as you said feel threatened by you being friendly with other guys, he may just be playing you, he may really like you and is confused!!! My god the list is endless!! So what should you do!? If anything!? Well it sounds to me like you really like this guy,yes!?
    You could maybe ask him to meet for a coffee? Something small/little like that,gesture that is ‘friendly’ That way you get his reaction and you know where you stand with him My dear i think you need to know so you can move on if neccessary, you deserve that. remember though if you do that,Keep it light,let him lead!! You can gage by his behaviour how things are.Your job is to get him to meet thats all!

    Remember,calm,feminine and beautiful as you are, keep shining Mia, you are doing great. I do hope things work out well for you.

    To update you my situation…
    Well i still havnt saw him since new years eve!! Bad weather ect) He has been working solid, and he gets so engrossed at times that he kinda forgets everything else!! Including me!! (feels like that)

    Anyway,he is off work tomoro,me too. I havnt heard from him yet today but i am hoping he suggests we meet, afterall it was him who said he wants to ‘kiss me’ like he’s wanted too the next time we meet!! So i dont want to arrange. Last week or so he has been full on in texts then disapears for day or two!! Hasnt done that for a while So i was not expecting it!!

    I have been feeling a little ‘pushed aside’ ‘neglected’and he knows coz i dropped it (very feminine like!) into a text, casual. He of course hasnt commented on it and neither have i. Its been nearly 9months since we met!! I am close to needing something from him to know where this is going!! We have overall been so much closer so i dont want to blow it either.I am patient, but its being tested all the time!

    Mia,Saggi girl, Jess and Lionsroar, I hope you are all ok and making it count!!. Keep smiling xx

  1003. #1003 by lionsroar on January 22, 2010 - 1:52 pm

    Mia,

    NO CRYING..Put on your big girl panties and suck it up sister… hahahaha. Your emotions are intesified and you are over analyzing.. and yah know what if he was into that girl he would have dated her BEFORE you…

    Breath sister.. make some plans for the weekend. And give yourself a BIG BIG HUG! You did very well, you did not make a scene infront of the group of one to one with him.. I personally have failed that several times :)..

    You are perfect and right where you are suppose to be right now as god intended!!

    Love yourself first and keep your head up and stop obsessing!

    xo

  1004. #1004 by Mia on January 23, 2010 - 4:52 am

    celestialblue@hotmail.com (Mia’s email:))
    Ah my beautiful sweet gals, you help me so much more than you can ever ever know.

    Jane, Lionsroar, thank you! Your hugs, your encouragement and telling me I am bigger than this, pull myself up and tough it up, yeah, I do know that. As you can tell by now, I so want to go into behavior psychology, lol.. sometimes i think he is a mysogist (sp?) narcissist or something, like he loves/ hates me… lol

    OH but AFTER ALL THIS, I sooooooo feel for him because I know where he works, and when i was looking him up on the directory, he wasn’t there?? He had to have lost his job or he would be in the system, i’m shocked that he never confided in me when we were so close just a couple weeks ago. it is like his brain snapped, he is like dr. jekyl and mr. hyde, but guess i can understand he would not want to tell me he got fired… ? I can’t call him to find out? I certainly won’t call his friend? I’m stuck. Truly it does not matter, if he wanted to tell me anything about his job he would. BUT i’m wondering if all this happened about the same time the facebook thing happened. I got on and he wasn’t my friend anymore? what the heck, again who cares? but the person ur dating suddenly deleting them without telling them to just continue dating, that is deceitful intent, uh uh that is not right (normal?) anyway I noticed from his page, he has a privacy setting now & he had cleared out about 1/3 of his total friends. his manager, a woman, was a friend on his facebook, because i remembered this from awhile back, hm. could this deleting half friend including me had been because he got fired or something… ? ok, i know Lionsroar I will stop.

    Yes u would be very proud, I was totally “mia” at bible study, thoroughly enjoyed it despite him, and spoke up for group discussion determined NOT to let him so much as phase me. even throwing him a “non plaused” look (like Jim in The Office when he looks at the camera) when his whispering got so freaking loud… i did this quickly, but non-chalently turning back to the speaker. and funny thing, when i did that, i did not hear him whisper after that! lol it was quite empowering actually, like maybe i finally gained some respect back from him with my silent, stern message “look” like enough already please. and i really don’t have a problem with the “gal” of course, i am healthy enough to not have resentment towards her, but it was disrespectful of her too, showing her desperation in wanting his attention…

    Lionsroar! Ah ur right, he could have EASILY dated her before going after me… he knew her BEFORE me, and went after me the day he met me, geez. he was playing her against me the entire time, and once, last story i promise here…. we 3 went camping when no one else could go. he asked if i was okay with it, i relunctantly said ok, that was when he gave his wallet to her instead of me for her to ride with him on the 4 wheeler right in front of me, so i had to ride with the guy that works there. i’m so gullible i thought it was because he did not want her to feel uncomfortable since i knew the guy that works there. it was to make me jealous. but ironically he was trying to get “frisky” with me the entire weekend.

    Jane, about asking him for coffee… my stubborn ego tells me if he is man enough, he knows where to find me. in the meantime i’m going to date so he can smell competition and i’m going to start singing, “it’s raining men, hallelujah!” wink

    and don’t u dare let insecurity creep in with ur guy, if he doesn’t contact u, u get busier than him, don’t let that phase you… 9 months, hm, he sounds more genuine than my guy, but he still is pretty slow. unless he has told you verbally he wants you and him to date exclusively… ? i would highly consider going out on a date or two. if you were close, i’d grab you and we’d go out with a couple of guys:)

    yes i have plans this weekend, so that is good, i do feel right and strong thanks lionsroar…

    please do write if you’d like my email at the top. i am going to see about putting up a blog type like this on the server i’m paying for… if any of you are interested, i’ll talk about it soon.

    loving self yes, god bless you for your precious positive thoughts. you both made my week!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxo mia

  1005. #1005 by Jane on January 24, 2010 - 11:56 am

    Hi Ladies hope you all ok

    Mia,Saggi girl, Jess Lionsroar
    I need your help pleeeez!!!

    I think PMT is overtaking me!! lol

    This is my situation…
    I havnt saw my guy since new year,thats fine as there hasnt been an oppertunity to meet.
    I havnt heard from him much this past week, he appologised mid week for lack of contact but he has been really stressed with work so i do understand. I told him few weeks back that i would support him with this so he knows that.
    Heres the thing tho, he has been off work all weekend and not asked me to meet with him, i feel disappointed,i know he is tired but surely he should be wanting to see me!!? Maybe he is testing my support!
    It seems to me (PMT maybe taking over lol) that since he said last week that he wants to kiss me next time we meet, he has withdrawn from me. I am even thinking is there someone else!! Paranoia i have never thought this before!!

    Since xmas we have been so much closer, he pointed that out. He has hinted relationship stuff to me a few times also(everything is WORDS still no ACTION!!!)I feel i want to ask him these things that i am feeling but i dont want to scare him off!! OMG!! I support him, i need his support too. I am missing him.I dont know what to do here!!?? Am i oversensitive? We have known eachother 9months and ‘friends status’ for past 5months, do you think i could ask ‘Do you see me in your future???? If i new this i would relax and just continue happily as it is, at his pace. I am feeling insecure and i dont want to blow this.

    Ladies please advise me what you think i would be so grateful. Thankyou

  1006. #1006 by Jess on January 24, 2010 - 2:08 pm

    Jane,

    Since this whole time after New Year, have you suggested to meet? or just wait for him to initiate it?

    I know from my guy now that he did it on purpose when he ‘disappear’ from me. He didn’t do it before but after he realized he has feelings for me and I did not show enough the same level, he apply it to me! like where he doesn’t keep in touch for 2 days. He wanted me to taste the taste of missing someone and finally give in and say it. I don’t like that approach so I told him one night that he can keep doing it and make sure to disappear long enough so he can be sure i let him disappear from me forever! He said I was too brave to say that to him and of course he knows the limit to it, it has to be done at the right amount so that it works! (there you see he spew his secret)

    Jane, I can relate very well how that ‘i want to kiss you next time’ msg would make to you. Jane, do not get too carried away when he did such magic. I mean I been there before and learnt that when Taurus miss you, you will be sure to know it because they will make you know it! They would blatantly say things till you blush and you started to build up dreams and looking forward to future. They will do things that you would say it must be love! Too many times my guy would miss me so much and said things what he will do for/to me when we meet next time that excite me and so looking forward to it, but when we actually meet… he just be so happy that I’m there then he just relax and enjoy his joint and sleep…

    If it was me, not until I heard my guy saying he loves me, I would not ask him Q if he sees me in the future. Despite the magic vs bullshit he keep doing to me, i take it as a good sign because as long as he keep doing that to me it means I’m in his circle, you got it? They already show it in action that they include you. Taurus although has no problem to be straight forward but when it’s a matter of heart they protect it to the max.

    Now that he gives me his heart, I never have to ask about future because he is already planned about it because now he asked me to work with him and he said that’s is not a choice it’s a decision (yes his not mine…) He told me one day our passion will be fading and I might not enjoy sex with him anymore so the only way to keep us together is by work so that we have business together… I admire his practical thought but I’m still considering if it’s going to jeopardize our relationship or not because I know how stubborn and strong head I am and I know for sure that is his way to manipulate me…

    Thank you for taking patient reading my post, I can only relate my situation to reply you that way you see it better. Jane, don’t wait for him to ask you out every time. If you miss him, tell him in text but make it classy not desperate or needy.

    PS: I can see it’s about 3 weeks for you having not seeing your guy, it’s about the right amount my guy like to keep me missing him. I mean the maximum that we have not meet is 3 weeks (except that one time that I broke him off and we have not contacted at all for 10 days) So may be you can wait a bit couple more days I guess he will suggest something.

  1007. #1007 by Jane on January 24, 2010 - 4:02 pm

    Jess

    THANKYOU!!!

    I am crying reading what you responded to me!! You help me so much. No, i have not suggested we meet coz its me that usually does mostly. I wanted him too.

    The only reason i hold back telling him anything is coz we ‘FRIENDS’!!! I dont want to scare him! lol He text few minutes ago and said he been on long walk in the country, didnt take me with him though!!. I do understand you Jess. I wish i could give you a hug Hee Hee. He said he will call later so i will tell him i am missing him. jess so glad your back, are things good for you? You been so busy with career? Your taurus!?

    Jess, i hope my guy act like yours and his ‘disappear’ is coz he getting feelings for me!! Do you think that may be true!? What are other signs Jess?
    I have noticed how he still calls me ‘pet names’ but has recently also been using my first name alot!! Didnt used to do that! lol Hope thats not a bad sign!! lol Since xmas he has responded to my texts, instantly, except this past week when he ‘disappeared’ instead!!!

    Thankyou Jess for taking the time

  1008. #1008 by Jane on January 24, 2010 - 5:41 pm

    Jess

    OMG i realised your guy going back to hometown soon!!!

    What will you both do? How do you feel about it? Hope you ok Jess

  1009. #1009 by Jess on January 24, 2010 - 7:08 pm

    Hi Jane,

    I’m glad you feel better now, and I’m quite sure your guy is going to suggest about meeting up soon ๐Ÿ˜‰

    I’m ok but seem like the last year is bad year for my health as i keep getting ill and minor accident over and over. Yes I have been super busy the last couple months with my job. Things with my guy is going great, we have been together pretty often on weekend trip. Yes, he is going back to his hometown soon. He asked me to take vacation and join him for 2 weeks but I told him I’m not sure I can and also I don’t want to save the money for investment. He said I don’t have to decide now but if i think its possible to join he can send me ticket, but I don’t feel right to take his offer.

    I still don’t know what we are going to do when he is back and be moving to a new city, I have been there with him to check for his new place couple times and no way I can make it during the week except for the weekend. But now my parents start to suspect I’m seeing a guy because I go home late and have been away for weekend trip too often, I can’t imagine how I’m going to be when he moves already and I’m not ready to let my family know about him.

    But anyway I know it’ll be ok if he really loves me as he said he will work on this with me, otherwise even I’ll be very sad but I guess I’ll be for the best for me.

  1010. #1010 by Jess on January 24, 2010 - 7:13 pm

    Typo: I was saying I want to save money for investment. LOL.

    Take care everyone!

  1011. #1011 by Mia on January 25, 2010 - 12:35 am

    Hi Jane, Jess, and all the rest of you beautiful gals,

    Jane,
    Ur situation was the same as mine to a certain extent. Just when he got very close emotionally, showing me more affection I think that scared him off, because his feelings got too close for comfort. I think I am about the longest he has held a relationship 7 mo. and we became more than friends and intimate pretty quickly which I so would not do over.

    My problem was thinking the guy knows what he is doing, they don’t, lol. They can be fickle as you see.

    So please try to do what I’m doing, you take that energy back that you are giving to him mentally. Remember, YOU are in control here.

    I agree with Jess 100%. Do not initiate anything. If it were me, I would not even let him know I’m missing him, sorry… if he was to say it first, I might let the conversation go on and maybe decide to say it lastly, like “Well, I might just be missing you a little, but have been so busy with this new ‘thing!’ (you know, your passion,hobby that is way more important than him, smile:))

    If you are just friends and not going out? then I might be going out with gals and perhaps a date or two.

    I’m learning the hard way to let him do all the work. Let him come to you. Let him initiate. Let him miss you. Let him say “i love you” first, until then, he may just have to squeeze himself into your busy life… in a nice way of course….

    You see, he is expecting you to be like all the rest of the gals in his life. He is expecting you are missing him, and may be expecting you to worry about him whatever….

    Now you say what if he has a gal? you should not let that worry you! You already know YOU are better… that is his problem.

    If he has disappeared for more than 3 days, 4 days, whatever and just texted you today…. then I would not reply until tomorrow sometime…

    you see, you will KNOW when the energy has shifted back to where YOU are letting him be uncomfortable…

    From what I have read, you should not only match but double your text back from the number of days of his disappearing.

    If he doesn’t reply or text you for 2 days, then next time he texts, you don’t reply for 2 days or 4 days.

    I know that sounds soooo harsh, not even sure I can do that myself, BUT he treats you with respect you see…

    Just remember how this feels.. doesn’t feel too good when he just suddenly disappears…. ? if you are friends, I would totally shift this and start dating casually, don’t tell him, you don’t owe him anything unless you are dating exclusively.

    You need balance! And to feel like Jane again, not worrying or letting your existence and happiness depend upon whether he texts you again… you know what I mean.

    I haven’t heard from mine anymore, but in my eyes, I’m moving on and it feels great. It is up to ME whether I choose for him to be in my life again or not. And it just confirms that it’s me not him. He has NOT made you feel this way, you have.

    Jess, you are doing great and I’d allow him the effort of seeing you, coming to you not the other way around if you can… You’re so strong and you are making sound decisions, great big hugs to you!

    Hugs to you Beautiful Jane! You are so lovely and sweet!!!

    Hang in there, stay just as busy as him! and remember if he says he has been so busy, you say, wow, i have been very busy too! He already knows you support him, just RELAX and let him work to get to you!

    I would even say, whenever he suggests to see you, you can’t but you can the weekend after that…

    If he knows YOU are NOT anxious to see him, to hear from him, HE WILL start chasing YOU and you’ll be fighting his kisses off… smile:)

    LOTS of Love and Hugs to you both and all you precious gals,

    Mia ~
    p.s. my ex (be4 my last guy “b” was at church and saw me! lol he hesititated to watch me as i walked by out of the corner of my eye, i just smiled looking straight ahead acting as if i did not see him, it was nice:)

    http://christiansinglez.wordpress.com/2006/06/10/10-signs-a-man-is-not-ready-to-commit/

  1012. #1012 by saggi girl on January 25, 2010 - 4:03 pm

    hi Jane,

    sorry that i missed out all the post as i was on a business trip for a week and was under a lot of pressure during the trip and only slept 3 hours except the last day of the trip.. i am glad that i came back to my city…

    It seems that you lost patience for a little bit for not be able to meet him for 3 weeks long.. i know how it feels.. as i was in your situation before..it used to be me making plan at the begining and he would be uncertain of either meeting with me or not.. and let me know a few hours ahead..you are not going to believe that was happening even after a year of dating.. so you have seen each other for 9 months. it is nothing comparing with my time.. hehehe.

    well, i would suggest you to let him know that you want to meet him.. i mean by hinting.. that was what i did when i wanted to see him or lost patience..i do not think that you need to wait for him to initiate as you have been seeing each other for 9 months, it was not like that you are just started dating..let him know that you want to meet him is not showing your desperate act but telling him your need..either he satisfys it or not.. but if you do not let him know.. probably he would think it was ok not to see you for that long……i know things are causual right now.. but do not make it that you are ok with causual.. i did not mean to do the relationship talk but you need to show him your need…and needed to be satisfied.. i know they can not be pushed and they are taking their sweet time to enjoy or decide but i’d think that you need to let him know your need…especially a little time would be necessary…

    update about myself:

    he picked me up at the airport on saturday and we went for lunch and movie.. but i was too tired and felt into sleep in his arm during the movie..but it seems that he enjoyed it…

  1013. #1013 by Mia on January 26, 2010 - 1:38 am

    I agree with Saggi girl as now I know more about our taurus men.

    Hi Saggi girl, Jane, Jess and ladies,

    First off, I’m so happy to hear ur back safe and sound from ur trip Saggi girl:) that is very sweet, ur guy picking u up from airport and falling asleep in his arm, yes I know he did enjoy that and am sure he missed you so! very sweet.

    Jane, I do take back all the initiating part as now I know they feel special and appreciate you letting them know your needs or just a simple ‘ been missin’ ya, hope all is well ‘ it is your confidence that exudes and I can see that from Saggi girl, Jess, Lionsroar and YOU:)

    Saggi girl, Jane, my situation is very similar to yours as I would find myself planning stuff too at his request & then him calling last minute yeah or neah.

    Stay positive:) and I wouldn’t read more into it when it was nothing really, so your situation may not be a big deal, maybe he is/was just too busy. Saggi girl is right, being honest & genuine is best and I’m sure he can’t wait to see you again.

    I have some good news:
    I had to go to what I thought was the same building where my guy works, and when I looked him up, sure enough he was in that location. I emailed him out of the blue and he seemed happy that I was going out his way, said I was not bothering him, & told me where he was.

    When in the building I heard my name from behind me and there he was, grinning, it was so cool. I just smiled and he walked me to where I needed to go. I wanted to see his office, but he had to take papers somewhere, when he finished he texted me and said, “u still here, back in my office now.” I had already left but told him I would have liked to seen his work manual stuff (related to work).

    I emailed him letting him know that they guy at the camping place we went to last yr was inquiring about how we were doing. We hung out with him, because we went so often.
    He emailed me saying to give him his number & that he does want to camp, canoe & fish this next year and asked me what month the camp opens that we went to last year… I replied that I want to go back too.

    So Saggi girl is so right!

    I did initiate, but not desperate. It was well kind of like karma only in that it was very unusual almost virtually no odds that I would have to go to his building, so God is answering a few prayers… I was very non-chalent, just as a friend, and he I think so appreciated the gesture of me looking him up I think (he just grinned, we both were, but trying not to make a big deal, hee, hee) and is now telling me he wants us to go camping again this summer, very cool.

    Saggi girl, you will have to keep me grounded here & I think if I just relax, still go out on a few dates really to get my mind off him, and pretend in my mind, he is nerdy or a married man (lol), then I won’t give him any inkling that I’m smitten, but just a friend so I won’t scare him off, smile.

    I get the sense the other gal didn’t last long, but i can’t be certain. But it doesn’t matter. In my eyes, I do need to go through motions of moving on, it is healthy for me and just see what happens with him.

    Saggi girl, Jane, or anyone reading:)
    One last question(s): What if out of the blue he asks me to do something ? how will i know this is just for friends? or a date? should I tell him, as friends only i will go out? since “he’s right” we argue too much? or just don’t define it?

    but friends only implies i pay and meet him half way, eeghads, no…

    ur thoughts? thanks all and sending hugs!
    miz ~

  1014. #1014 by saggi girl on January 26, 2010 - 5:36 pm

    Mia,

    do not worry about the other gal, i do not think he falls for her that deep yet. one thing my guy told me that they do not love easily and it takes a lot for them to finally love you…I mean LOVE you… so do not worry about her, she is not an issue at all. you need to be yourself and confident.. keep things light for now.. but it was good that you reconnected with him again on a friendly level and for now you need to keep it that way… do not show him your emotion even though it was hard sometimes, but keep it light until he initiated something. keep it open for friendship at present, which is not a bad thing at all.. you do not need to tell him that you are friend but do it as what a normal friend would do..

    hugs and kisses…

  1015. #1015 by Jane on January 27, 2010 - 3:03 pm

    Jess, Saggi girl, Mia

    Thankyou you wonderful ladies for your imput and support.

    Jess
    I am so happy to hear you and your guy are doing so well. A difficult passed year for you as you say and now he will be away for a while. Jess, he sounds sooo sweet to offer you a ticket to visit, i think you should go and take his lovely offer. He thinking of himself aswell as you!!!…. Of course he wants to see his girl! lol You will look forward to that i am sure. I understand your difficulty with your parents and that must be so hard for you. He responded so well to you with that too giving you his support.

    I hope Jess when the time is right your parents give you their blessing, for now sweet Jess, enjoy the wonderful relationship you have i am sure you guys will make it and be very happy. Keep smiling and thankyou.

    Saggi girl
    so happy for you too Saggi girl, you and your guy close again. How sweet lunch a movie and sleep in his arms!! AHH, so lovely, i am jealous!! lol You have had a busy time too i see.
    Saggi girl keep up the good work. You and your guy have come so far and you have so much knowledge about these bull men that drive us crazy!! Big thankyou to you Saggi girl

    Mia
    Hey glad to read how you still shining bright!! Hee,hee. You are being yourself, calm and beautiful, he can see you and there you are reconecting with him, nice and slowly and not too hasty or desperate. Thats it Mia, let him see the woman he has let go of,see what he is missing. I agree with Saggi girl do not worry about the other girl, she is right coz these guys as we well know take forever to ‘connect’ with anyone, she isnt a threat. I hope things work out well for you.Thankyou

    My update…

    Well as i said in Jess previous earlier post, my guy did ring me Sunday night as promised. We on phone chatting for over hour and half!! WOW!! It was so good to. he still has not said about us meeting up!! I dont want to initiate as…
    1. He said he wants to kiss me next time we meet. 2. He said ‘leave it with me’ (meaning him) i assume to arrange. 3. It is mostly me who initiates. He has been so lovely texts 3/4 times aday, telling me how i am in his head all day long and that i must not forget it!! lol I just need to see him!

    Ladies, i took your advice and told him i have been missing him, i told him on the phone and i could hear the delight in his voice at hearing that from me, he didnt say he missed me LOL!! i didnt expect him to say it, god i know that would be too much information if he let that slip!! LOL

    What i know is i must remember how these guys deal with things/issues. He goes in to his shell at times,withdraws. I take it personal, i shouldnt, i know its just how he is. I find it hard when he does that coz i am missing him and i am a ‘fixer’ and a ‘talker’ and always want to help, i am learning tho to respect his way.

    I said a while back…..’How is he ever going to fall for me if we dont see eachother’!!!? Well i am realising with these guys its of course important but not vital in their process as they observe and learn you even from a distance. I am learning him very much too!! I am consistant and always honest and its bringing me closer to him all the time. I feel it. I love him and i do feel he is warming up to it day by day!!!
    Of course i come here to rant and rave when i am losing patience and insecurities creep in!! You are all amazing, i am so glad i found you all. Hope you are all ok. catchya soon…

  1016. #1016 by saggi girl on January 27, 2010 - 4:30 pm

    Hi Jane,

    it is good to hear from ya..it has been a long time.. i am glad that you are working on your way up to his heart and it seems that you handled very well so far and knowing what you want and how to get it..

    well, i am not an expert when it comes to deal with those bulls.. as mine just kept getting on my nerve..and i do not how to deal with it when it comes down to disagreement.. i can not always give in to his side..

    i had a fight with him yesterday.. as on saturday when he picked me up and he told me that he was thinking of converting to Judiasm.. which is not something that i know of.. so he asked if i was ok with it.. then i told him that it is ok as long as he was happy about it as it was really personal thing.. but he said ” yeah, but i want both of us to be happy. it is a personal thing.” then he told me the rule to follow once he converted.. something like not be able to eat pork or lobster.. then i told him that i heard that being in Judiasm was not allowed to marry with non-jews. then he was like” no, it is not necessarily. Catholic was supposed to marry with catholic, and you are not catholic either.” then i let it go… we had a nice time together on saturday…

    then yesterday i checked on line in regard to this judism thing. it was cleared stated on someone’s comment that Judiasm was not allowed to be in a relationship before marriage with non-jews. then i immediatly texted him in the afternoon about what i saw and stated that it seems that we have to break up in order for him to be accepted.. and asked if he knows it.. then he did not responde to this message like 3 hours.. then i texted him again when i was on my way home like around 6 o’clok, asked him if he could responde to my last message when he gets change as it confused me now. then he texted back” let me work and i will call you later.”
    last night, he called and sounded cold.. and did not mention the message and told me that he just wanted to say good night.. then he said” you need to settle down in general, you are just crazy… why you are being so pushy., saw something on line and texted me that when i was busy with work.. then you texted me again a few hours later to ask for response.. couldn’t wait for night to talk about it? you are so pushy, i told you that i do not like it, but you kept doing that over and over again.. well, i did not know about the rule like that. if we broke up, it will be for something else but not because the rule says that i need to.. i did not know rules like that at all.. then he started judging me for being pushy again.. blah blah.. he is getting tired and had enough, i need to control myself.” then i told him” well, i can control myself…but you need to change your comment about me as it was disrespectful..” he said” he will not if i kept doing that.” then we hung it up.. i texted him again after that” you considered everything i have done as being pushy. i also had enought of your disrespecful comment. as i would not say that to you no matter what..

    he did not responde..i was getting frautrated… who is wrong here?? me???

  1017. #1017 by Jane on January 27, 2010 - 9:01 pm

    Saggi girl

    That sounds so upsetting for you, yes him too. I think you and your guy jump easy to judge eachother! What i mean is, i agree with you when at the begining i read how you showed interest and concern to him about his idea, you even said how it a ‘personal’ thing, that showed respect to him.
    I dont know much about Judism either but it was real nice how you both spoke to eachother about it so wher i think he is unfair to you (suppose this is where bull temper flares up)!! Is his reaction to you on the phone. You conciderate of him and he was of you earlier so i dont get it!!

    I do think his attitude was more to do with you texting him twice and not about his idea of Judism, you know how patient these guys are are he pointed out that he thinks you impatient and called you crazy. I think his temper just got the better of him.
    Saggi girl, he is your guy and he well knows (coz he knows you) that you are going to have some level of being curious about this,I know for sure i would have done the same as you and checked it out!! I would think it a good thing!! lol Remember what these bulls are like, their ways,he just wants to be in control,sort things and not have you (acting crazy!!!) as he put it, worrying or concern.

    I dont think you have done anything wrong Saggi girl, i just think he saw your text as jumping to conclusion, overreacting, drama!!lol I would leave it to him. The good thing here is he wants to include you, for both your happiness. You both jump at eachother too quick!! Be calm (difficult as it is i know!!) Let him sort it. and take care of things. It will make him happy and you will feel better secure with him, yes!!? I hope you ok and i make sense and not mix up with my waffle!!.

  1018. #1018 by Mia on January 28, 2010 - 6:52 am

    Hey Saggi girl, Jane,

    Yes sweet Saggi girl, you are like me! Jane you are too! Yes I would have done the same thing, but it is huge that he went to you asking YOUR opinion before he even considers Judiasm, that is him thinking serious future commitment with you in his picture.

    I think he was frustrated two fold. First, I think he wants to feel your trust and think he wanted you to understand that the reason he was asking your opinion is that he has intentions of possibly marrying you:) and when he saw your text, he may have felt you did not trust him or that he had not checked out all the facts before coming to you. but you remind me of me, as i would have checked it out too…

    remember, it isn’t what you communicate but how… maybe you could text him next time asking him if he has a moment that night to talk and you need his “advice” (clarity)… then when he calls, you can nicely discuss without putting him on the defensive and you feeling like your pulling teeth from him while getting a mental beating of disrespect from him…

    i know, it isn’t fair! yes i do know he can dish it but not take it! both my taurus’ were/are like that. my ex and my current ‘friend’ ๐Ÿ™‚ i was a spitfire with my ex, and i was like you firing away at him and boy did he spit back at my fire! lol… but loved me and wanted to marry me just like yours i know…

    i can remember telling myself, when i wanted to contact him, i would wait one day, that way i could let it rest on my mind and he wouldn’t feel so “attacked” even though i did not feel i was attacking him…

    You are so smart Saggi girl, know he thinks the world of you, values your opinion and I know he respects you down deep. remember, our taurus’ speak without thinking sometimes and regret it later:) You were honest and if you dig deeper, you were frightened when reading that about marrying the same, and that you needed reassurance and understanding from him. sweet hugs to you!!! you are my mentor:)

    Jane, very good about your sweet shy guy! ๐Ÿ™‚ great that you did not mention when he may come to see you… and the ego stroke from you mentioning you miss him did rock his world, just remember balance is your key… does he live very far from you? if it makes you feel better, my ex taurus and i were conversing via email for like a month or two before he ever asked me to meet with him, or even call him (he gave me his number which was very gentlemanly ๐Ÿ™‚
    I thought, geez, he is never going to suggest meeting… lol. I was like you, I just kept nice, consistent until i gained more of his trust. you are doing great! hang in there, we’re with you!
    sweet hugs to you too!!!

    My update: He emailed me yesterday asking if I had been to a particular place! I think he wants to take me there… hee, hee. but for many reasons don’t think it would be a good idea, not yet. don’t you think i should not go on a trip with him unless we get way serious and he pays. i just can’t do this friend thingee me paying half for everything and being intimate when he hasn’t given me any romantic anything, just friend stuff only.

    i was not so quick to answer him, and then two hrs later, my wk phone rings and i just thought it might be my manager … he says, “hey” I thought hm, wierd for my manager but okay, “hey” i said back… he said, “Hate to bother you but if you go online you can get a coupon for your oil change,” telling me the instructions… i thought wow how sweet!

    can you believe he remembered when i casually mentioned i still had not gotten my oil change yet when meeting him the other day… wow.

    today i did get the oil change and sent him a quick email letting him know i used coupon and thanks again. he replied “you’re welcome” and went on to let me know info on a sports college bball team stats…. again, this was important to me as he knows i like college sports so he was / is reaching out to me. i replied with a confident one word funny that made him laugh i’m sure… it was light, funny and his response “perfect” … becuz the perfect response to my funny would be NO response… because it spoke for itself, and very funny! he had no response, he is a sweety… his timing now and respect for me are showing. very cool:)

    Saggi girl, Jane, tremendous thank you to you and your support, advice is priceless to me!! sweet hugs and lots of love to you both! talk soon! mia~

    i’m hanging in there and being myself, happy and confident and content…

  1019. #1019 by Jess on January 28, 2010 - 12:09 pm

    Saggi girl,

    One of my girlfriends who is a Jewish (she is Caucasian), dating her black boyfriend for 2 years now and they have plan to get married. I don’t know so much about Jewish and the culture but she told me before usually they get married within the same religion but she doesnt care and her mother accept it ok. Only one thing is that they guy will have to change religion to hers, which he accepts it too. I also know many people who according to their religion are not allowed to drink alcohol but they drink like water, etc.

    I would say at this point, its too early for you to express negative opnion on him about that, why don’t you try talking to him to test how he react to the information you just found out? Taurus men admire women with knowledge especially when they can continue the conversation over a particular subject with reason and explanation. Not only that you can see in real if he knew about it but you also get scored in his eyes that you care about him so you look up for more info and you even earn credit of being knowledgable lady! Yes, to me its a bit pushy of you to demand the answer from him right away. Besides you should assumed that your bf didn’t know about it (why would he want to change to be Jewish if he was being aware)

    Calm down saggi girl, no need to get frustrated. It’s not a big deal and I don’t think it’s easy for Taurus men to just change their religion (or anything at all since they are so set in the way of everything!!!), not so soon at least you can expect it in a long longgggggggggggggg future if he ever changed at all…according to Taurus!!! hahaha!

  1020. #1020 by Mia on January 28, 2010 - 7:08 pm

    I agree with Jess, yes Saggi girl, whatever you make a big deal out of will become a big deal. He’s already thinking of you, respects your opinion, you are learning more about it… and yes as Jess says, NOTHING would keep a Taurus man away from you if he truly wants you, not religion, not family, nothing…

    Relax, learn more and talk about it. Jess is right, when he sees that you are picking up knowledge for a subject that is important to him, it shows you care. When you come across as patient, calm, understanding and supportive, you will feel so much more yourself (you already have these qualities) he so admires that in you. Trust, let go, and don’t worry about the future with him, let him be worrying about holding on to a future with you:) Keep focused on your goals… he is sharing something important with you, now you can share something important with him, one of your goals in life, whatever you are working towards…

    One question please:

    “M” asked me today if I would go on a trip with him in April… I do want to go. He is paying for this.

    Should I go? I so want to, but I want to continue to position my relationship with him in a positive way that will bring him closer romantically, more of an emotional connection…

    I think since he is asking me this far in advance shows something.

    He is already telling me this morning if the weather gets bad tomorrow to be careful when driving…

    Sweet Jess, Saggi girl, Jane and any other sweet gals,
    please give me your wise, advice for my answer to my taurus guy whom I’m smitten with..

    Please also remember, I do intend to go on some dates here… I think it is best if I’m dating to balance my emotions towards him, and know I DO NOT INTEND to be intimate with him UNTIL he wants to ask me for exclusivity, remember I’m just his “friend” now…

    Thanks all and for now, I’m telling him I’m checking the dates and will let him know…

    Thank you and so value your advice,
    Mia ~
    I want him to miss me, want to be with me, he is showing this now, and wanting to be light, fun & happy around him. This trip could be a way to have a nice fun weekend with him:)
    Jess, hope all is well with you! and yes I would take him up on the ticket and you enjoy yourself! any advice for me is helpful on how to handle him asking me for the weekend trip in April… ๐Ÿ™‚

  1021. #1021 by Mia on January 29, 2010 - 7:09 am

    Hi Jess, Jane, Saggi girl, everyone,

    We are back on now. Yup. This time, it is his energy yearning for me, and me being more reserved in a nice way of course.

    He was trying to persuade me to get back on messenger. I said, no, i can’t as i was respectful in disconnecting to allow him to date the gal friend he ran in to.

    He said that was a big mistake. She was into drugs. He was sorry he hurt me. He was asking me out for the weekend. We are going out this next Saturday night.

    I said we never communicated and thought we were friends, not dating… he said we were dating and he wants to date me now too.

    he did the kiss sign and asked if that was okay to kiss me… so sweet.

    he also said he was turned on by seeing me and my smile the other day at his work… he was getting very fresh with me, very fresh and i said, we have to go slow… if we are that fresh, then i would have to be exclusive with him. he said he does only want to date me, wants exclusivity.

    i said i did not want to pressure him, but if we are ever going to be that ‘fresh’ (intimate) again, for sure we would have to be exclusive. i said, if so, u would need to take my hand and ask me for exclusivity… he said he is respectful of that and does want to do that.

    he was pouring himself on me and so didn’t want to me to leave, he said he so loves talking with me (messenging) doing things with me …

    it’s wierd, because now i have some nice guy at work that is emailing me, very sweet… he is almost asking me out… and others too…

    so now i’m thinking maybe i should think about it…

    i don’t want it to be so easy for him to get me back, you know, i think i will let him know i will think about it and decide in a few weeks… that we need to start very slow and i told him i was basically starting over with him.

    the energy here has totally changed, now it is him who is courting me, he even wants to take me to eat before we play pool saturday, that is huge for him. he has never taken me to eat dinner out. just once.

    will keep u posted….

    u know, the first time i met him in person, i looked up and whispered softly, “Thank you God.” tonight I’m looking up and whispering softly, “Thank you God.”

  1022. #1022 by Jess on January 29, 2010 - 3:26 pm

    Wow Mia,

    Now your guy is turning upside down! and you are back in the game again! LOL. Well may be you don’t have to answer now if you will join a trip with him in April or not, instead telling him that ‘we will see’ that way so he put more effort and you can also see how he treat you during the meantime.

  1023. #1023 by Mia on January 29, 2010 - 11:11 pm

    Jess,
    Yes I am very happy and just think the world of him but also need to realize what is a healthy relationship.

    I so want this to work, and know the slower we go, the better the chances.

    He has commitment issues as you can see, and think it until he deals with the reality of his behaviors, not following through on commitments, even to self, mistrust and living conditions beyond his control, he will never know the connection of why he has severed ties with certain people and with relationships.

    I am going to do all I can to earn his trust, be there for him as I always have, but he has to know this… He has to know that until he understands communication is vital, we will fail. If he can agree to be willing to talk about the relationship on a regular basis, his needs, his expectations, we will have a chance, and we both will be better for it. He also needs to know, hey, I don’t like talking about it either, I hate it, but if we do not communicate his feelings and mine, then it WILL create distrust, dishonesty and our relationship WILL fail.

    I’m reading Venus & Mars in Dating and learning more of things I have done wrong.

    Thanks Jess and I appreciate your support as I so want for you and all of us here to learn healthy relationship behaviors & patterns that encourage our guys to treat us with respect & dignity, loving us as we so love & respect their precious souls.

    Please give me more tips on our taurus men… how do i encourage more affection, pulling more emotion from him and less of him wanting me for one thing, you know…

    I think I need to act and dress more feminine in front of him, I was portraying myself as one of the guys, buddies going to play pool with him and friend, I need to be less competitive with him and encourage more things to do like a dinner, a movie, “date” like things…. ?

    Thanks! xoxoox Mia~

  1024. #1024 by funnydove on January 30, 2010 - 7:09 am

    Hi Jess and everyone,

    Long time no see all of you, hope you are doing ok. Please give me some advice to pass this terrible priod.

    Last week, I and my taurus had an argument ๐Ÿ˜ฆ That was such a cold day, I went to my office and forgetted my coat. I called for him to ask if he could bring a warm coat for me. Could you believe, he was like that “I never share my coat with others, you could go out and by a new one for you. Please understand me, it is my characteristic”. I was like a kind of very angry and text to him: “You are so selfish that I could not imagine.”

    I went home, cold, angry that caused a heavy bad cold and high fever. I called him, he didn’t answer, then I text: “I have a bad cold now. It seems your fault.”

    From that day to now, we dont see and talk with each other any word (no text, no email, no call).

    Today is my birthday, I invite him and every friend in my group (that including me and him) to the party by a general text for everybody. He didn’t text back to confirm. When I call him, he didn’t answer.

    I dont know how he treat me like that? What can I do to improve my situation? ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  1025. #1025 by Mia on January 30, 2010 - 5:13 pm

    funnydove,
    so sorry but please for your own sake, do not ever put yourself in the position of allowing him to disrespect you.

    asking him to do something for you is generally not good when he is upset. it was more than the coat, you wanted his comfort, he reassurance and you were more upset with that on top of thinking he doesn’t care about your comfort and is so selfish he has to make “digs” tell you he never shares.

    Happy Birthday!!!!! you need to NOT allow him to put a dent on your precious day! my situation is similar to yours, i invited friends to hang out and play games on my birthday but did not invite him because he never gave me the time of day and knew when my birthday was. it was mentally excruciating like what you are going through.

    so for today! FORGET HIM or PRETEND TO FORGET HIM ๐Ÿ™‚ and enjoy your friends.

    the only way to learn in relationships is to experience them, through that hurt and pain, but you will be fine!!!

    i’m learning that when you do things counter intuitive he comes around. Ignoring him will show him you do not revolve your life on his actions. the ball is in his court, wipe your tears from your sweet beautiful face and ENJOY your birthday around those that love and support you!!!!!!!!!!

    i’m in the same boat here, my guy just now came back around…

    BUT we have a date tonight and i have not heard from him.

    what to do? hm. if he does not contact me within 3 hrs of going out, then i’m making other plans and will enjoy my nite!

    hard yes, it is so hard, but it is the right thing to do ….

    It is called respecting and loving yourself first which is what you and i need to learn. please read all you can on healthy relationships, these authors are good, tina jones, nicole gayle, gillian reynolds, why men love bitches (great book)….

    ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY Funny Dove:) and sweet kisses and hugs for you!!

    Enjoy your day Jess, Jane, Saggi girl, and all you beautiful gals!!!!
    Mia ~
    xoxoxoxooxox

  1026. #1026 by Jess on January 30, 2010 - 5:16 pm

    funnydove,

    Hi and Happy Birthday to You!

    Are you in a bf/gf or exclusive relationship? How long have you been dating him? From what I experience I can say that Taurus men preserve their privacy and can be that very personal to their belongings. I know they have no problem being blunt in turning down when people try to share or they feel being invaded without their invitation, except people they regard as family, best friends, girlfriend that they WILL AND HAVE TO share everything with! (they will also require you to do the same!) They are a man of extreme: all or nothing! So they will either share all or not any at all with you depends on your position in their life.

    Don’t take it personal, or you will only get upset. Simply tell him (if possible with reason) your opinion to his rejection. Yes I agree that it is not nice and selfish of him to treat you like that, but unless you are his girlfriend, they will keep treating everybody this same nasty behavior with no guilt or shame… Think about it if Taurus guy is for you, they are blunt and rude and rough just like a bull!

    Try to stay calm and relax, stop contacting him for now and let him get back to you.

  1027. #1027 by funnydove on January 30, 2010 - 6:00 pm

    Jess, Mia and all you wonderful gals,

    Thanks for your kind advices. I had a unforgetable birthday with my friends as we came to a small restaurant which had playing guitar, violon and some traditional instruments.

    To answer your questions, Jess:
    1, We are not yet bf/gf, but I know he care for me or have special feeling with me. He said that more than three time.
    2, We are dating for 5 month (exactly nearly dating because we were not be together a lot, we never ever kiss or had sex yet ๐Ÿ˜‰ Maybe it depend on the culture, if a girl had sex before getting married, it is called bad, and if your husband find out you had sex with other guy before him, he would treat you very bad, call it your fault and sometime remind you about that when you and him in argument, so we must me make sure when we want a exclusive relationship with someone either women or man).

    Update my situation: I called him again to confirm if he can join with us. He picked up and said with normal and sexy voice like that: “I could join with you and friends tonight because I would to prepare a lot of for my 2 weeks work trip abroad. I will try my best to arrange time to celebrate with you”. Both of us not mention about the past.

    After the party, I called him again, he didn’t pick up, so I leave a msg: “Our friends wish you have a good trip. Good night to you.” After 30 minutes he call me back, tell me about his plan, his private work, how busy he is…I feel we are back to normal now. I didn’t understand him, he like hot and cold, treat people like bullshit, like he didn’t care about the world outside his own bull world.

    It is so difficult to me to deal with him. I even didn’t know where I am in his world, but a deep feeling inside me know that he is the one for me.

    Thanks all of you again, I follow this site everyday, but my English is not good enough to answer or give you advice frequently. If I found myself have the same answer with other girl, I would say nothing. If I have some ideas, I would try my best to share this with you in my terrible English.

    I can’t find any word to say how lucky I am to have all of you girls here to truly listen and deeply understand me. Keep in touch and hope everything will be worth at the end.

  1028. #1028 by Mia on January 30, 2010 - 7:41 pm

    Hi Jess, funnydove and all,

    wow, good to know more about taurus Jess, my situation is very similar to funnydove.

    i am figuring out that my guy wants me to be in his world but is still hanging on to distrust of gals that he is doing the very thing to make me distrust him. it is like an unconscious projection type behavior.

    it is getting late in day and he still has not contacted me.

    we are supposed to go out tonite.

    i think he is adhd, forgetful, bad time management (because i have all these too) HOWEVER,

    i WILL NOT SIT HERE and let him stand me up again….

    i am going to text him now and let him know i can’t go out tonight. i have much to do and bad weather, etc.

    i want to back off BEFORE he backs off. i am trying to earn his trust at the same time i am trying to circumvent any disrespect.

    if you reward good behavior, and have circumstances for bad behavior, then i am letting him know his behavior (even no contact is a behavior) has consequences.

    so in essence, if he does not contact me at all 5 hrs before the date, i break date.

    this is NOT like him, but remember, i just now allowed him back into my life. he is still not sure, and i should have not let him back in so quickly… we were in contact last nite when his power went out. he was appreciative of my help.

    you see, i am trying to keep my feelings nice for him, it is TOO EARLY to make issues with him, or fight, I refuse.

    so i’ll let you know how it goes. it may even relieve him for me to break off tonight, he may even have some respect for me… ? we’ll see…

    funnydove, you are doing great, and jess is one of the best mentors here!!! thanks much and …

    KEEP SMILING!!!!!!!!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚ You all are the BEST !!!! ๐Ÿ™‚
    mia ~ xoxoxoxoxo

  1029. #1029 by Jess on January 31, 2010 - 1:05 am

    Mia,

    “……….i am going to text him now and let him know i canโ€™t go out tonight. i have much to do and bad weather, etc.”

    Mia, DON’T DO THAT. Because you are just giving him an excuse to not feeling bad for standing you up this time and make it easier for him to do it again next time! If this date is not going to happen because of him let it be his whole fault.

  1030. #1030 by Mia on January 31, 2010 - 3:54 am

    jess, I know I know! I messed up! ah geez.

    i texted, “since i haven’t heard from you, you must be busy like me. something has come up and i can’t go out, sorry telling you this so late in day. Mia”

    he said he called my home this morning and no one answered & that the roads are not bad.

    Jess, i may be an idiot, but i know him and i have seen a side of him that calls my home, my cell, texting all at once trying to get me! so that is a lame excuse, it has “i do not want to go out with you” written allll over it, but the roads are not bad sounds like he still may have wanted to go out? but NEVER mentioned it NOT ONCE. it is like he was behaving as if he NEVER ASKED me out. (but remember, i had said he must “take my hand and ask for me to date him exclusively” the next time if he wants me to be exclusive. oh when we were texting Thursday, he was yes yes fine, i will do that. hm. this probably scared him! geez, lol )

    wish i had read ur post, i was just feeling bad, i could not take that stupid hurt again. well, i’m still hurting…

    i need instructions!~ yes, i did text him & called him & let him off the hook acting like i was really too busy to go. so sad. but he was nice and talkative on the phone, so relaxed.

    it was one of the first conversations he opened up and was talking and laughing in a very nice genuine way. it was a nice side to him that i bring out. i seem to bring about trust and safeness to him and spoke to him like a friend.

    i just left it that if he wanted to play a couple games of pool, call me, but otherwise, i’m busy getting stuff done around here. yup, i know, no mystery, too available… argh!

    I found this online about standing you up on dates:
    ‘Get your hair done, because if he doesn’t call you, you can go out for a night on the town and maybe meet someone else.
    He should call you at least 3 hours before the date. If he calls you at 2 hours and 59 mins. before the date, or later, tell him, “Oops, I figured we weren’t going since I hadn’t heard from you. I made other plans. How about Sunday?”
    That’ll show him that you’re not waiting around for him and that if he doesn’t follow through with his effort, you have no problem dropping him like a hot potato. It’ll also show him that you have a life of your own and if he wants to be in it, he better not play mind games and try to make you wait for him.
    Whatever you do, DON’T text or call him. He asked for the date, he needs to follow up.’

    jess, what would u do? i really like him…

    he has to live with his parents but has not told me why. he is highly attracted to me in an intimate way, but has not been romantic or any emotional connection yet. just treats me like a friend that cares except when he tells me he is hot for me, getting frisky… he treats me like an aquaintance at church, similar to the behavior of an ambivilent man.

    i don’t want to date others, but think this will scare him to think he can possibly loose me, i won’t tell him, just need to join eharmony or match and get a date in before i commit to another date with him.

    last question: what do i do when he asks me out again?

    ( i am thinking that he will contact me tomorrow or monday saying sorry about the weekend & i was busy anyway, do you want to go out next weekend?)

    ( i will not reply to any of his texts after 8 pm ? he sometimes texts me late, like a booty call kind of thing only with the messenger thingee & it always winds up with him getting very frisky with me…)

    Jess, and others. What is my diagnosis? smile
    “Typical nice girl, too available, too accomodating, no threat of any other guys in the picture…”

    so my homework: (3 things?)
    1. Do not respond the first time he contacts me? whether text, email, call ? wait for the 2nd contact?
    2. Do not be available the next time he wishes to take me out. Whatever the date, I can’t but maybe the next weekend?
    3. Date. Go out on at least one date before i see him next?
    (argh. i’m going to have to push myself to get on a site and go for it:)

  1031. #1031 by Jess on January 31, 2010 - 5:56 am

    Mia,

    It’s ok you text and now you had him on the phone having a nice conversation so don’t feel bad anymore.

    What you found online about standing up on date sounds good but I know for sure it’s not for me.
    – First off if I dress up nice and get my hair done for him, I did it just for him and if he stood me up I don’t think I would still have a mind to be out and enjoy
    – He should at least call 3 hours before: I know again for sure this doesn’t work with my guy. I won’t conclude all Taurus men are like this but my man he NEVER MAKE PLAN! Mia, you would not believe it that sometimes supposed if we have talked a week ahead about meeting up on the coming Friday, not until it’s 1 or 2 hour AFTER I finish working that he text to confirm time and place… so now that I know his habit and we talked about and he admit and said he wants that i have place to hang out whenever we agree to meet. So I always secure myself by hanging at a friend’s place waiting for him, that way if he’s late I won’t feel lonely and he won’t feel pressure to make it on time.

    Mia, Taurus guys are not playing game. From experience with my guy, he is just like that and even now that he loves me he still is like that and instead of feeling hurt or making drama, I talked to him and we work on SOLUTION. Remember Taurus only interested in finding solutions, they are not going to waste time feeling sorry over what went wrong and if you don’t point it out to him how his behavior FAIL to satisfy you he will never know and never picked up his fault (and remember that Taurus hate when they fail! so learn to make use of their weakness)

    last question: what do i do when he asks me out again?
    Well since you already had a nice and long conversation over the phone, so no need to be cold but be nice in your reply by waiting a day to reply it something like ‘Yes! would love to! so let’s see if WE can make it’ (I put capital word for ‘WE’ so it will be on his duty if he pursue you hard to be out ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

    Ladies, study your bull first and you’ll learn that a gentle tap at the right place will get him to move and get thing to your way! First stop worry about them being disappeared (that is next to NEVER!) and don’t take it to yourself an feel hurt when they exhibit any bullshit actions, they are just like that.

    I try to stick around but I might be slow now but I really hope you ladies love and take care of yourself first before any bulls.

    Cheers.

  1032. #1032 by Jane on January 31, 2010 - 4:28 pm

    Hi Ladies

    Wow so much going on feel like i have been gone for ever! lol

    Jess

    I firstly want to say to you that i know you dont think this but you truly are a n inspiration to us here in our quest of these bull men!! You are a very special lady.
    What i have learnt from you especially Jess is to study these men if you truly want them in your life, its the only way to understand their way of being and to keep yourself sane!! LOL
    I have been doing excactly that and we are getting so close. he came to see me yesterday, first time since new year. NO we did not have that kiss! We did though have a lovely time together.
    When he left i text him to say how nice it was to see him blah blah blah, he text back and mentioned again our ‘friendship’!!!!
    So i replied and said i value our friendship too and because he feels the need to remind me of it, i realise we will never have anything more blah blah
    he text and said ‘how do you know i dont want more’!? Anyway cut a long story short……

    He text told me he loves me,his feelings are growing for me and to please be patient with him and there will be a pot of gold at he end of our rainbow!!
    Notice he said ‘OUR’ rainbow!!! Hee, Hee
    It was all i have wanted to hear from him, that he sees me in his future. I told him that and that I love him too and that i am here with him and understand he needs time.

    I am so happy , i feel my consistansy and patient (although crazy at times!!) has paid of, he is feeling it and its all i can ask.
    yes its still early days but i feel i have moved furter towards ‘relationship’ status and i am happy about that.

    I hope you are all ok, happy birthday Funnydove, Mia WOW its all happening for you too. Catch you all soon
    Jess is right, study your guy and a gentle tap in the right place gets him moving!! Its worked for me, Mia i will respond to you asap good luck with your guy!!

  1033. #1033 by funnydove on January 31, 2010 - 4:41 pm

    Hi every girls here,

    I’m now in the beginning of relationship with my Taurus, please give me some tips to gets him moving close to me.

    Now, he is in 2 weeks trip and everything I should do is wait for him contact back to me?

    I feel that he never contact to me again if I let the ball in his side. I am a person always contact first, so I mean I scared of lossing him.

    At the first time, he care for me a lot that I couldn’t breath, and now is nothing because I show him I almost “smelt” before him.

    Pls, let me know what I should do ( feel he far from me forever :().

  1034. #1034 by Jess on January 31, 2010 - 6:20 pm

    Hi Jane,

    I was reading your comments with big smile, to know your appreciation to my contribution and to know it inspires and helps, thank you Jane! and of course after I read your update with your guy, I’m really happy for you!!! Every Taurus men are different but within more or less the same content.

    I’m still studying mine too, and yesterday it was THE FIRST TIME EVER after dating for 1.1 year now, that my guy called me on the phone!!! OMG OMG OMG!!!! After dinner we parted without a kiss because my friends were there so we felt embarrass to give each other a kiss. Few mins later I just felt missing him so i text him asking if he was not in a cab yet can he come back to pick me up? then out of my surprised, he ring me! He talked to me like I’m a little girl asked if I’m ok said he already in a cap and miss me telling to go home fast and send text when i got home safe.

    Thinking back it’s hard to believe that he never ever called before and I bet you girls would find it hard to believe also that I never had problem with that nor ever give him a hard time about it. After he explained his reason yeah it I understand and accept it even though all my friends can’t accept that, but I know him so I’m surprised he can appear such an ass in other’s point of view. But I’m also determine I’m not going to call him first but look forward to a day he will call me. I keep study him and I see more and more how he started from little to break his rules and routine for me.

    Ladies you can do it too and will see just how simple Taurus men are, but they are really very stubborn and slow so you gonna need more than patient and understanding, you need to know THE RIGHT WAY to shake him first because Taurus men are slow to even realize his own feelings you can’t just expect them to know it right away. You need to shake their heart make it fragile make them experience that shaky feeling they never experience for long time…once they realize that feeling in them the rest they will figure out in no time.

  1035. #1035 by Jess on January 31, 2010 - 6:25 pm

    LOL! I re-read my post and saw that I made a lot of mistake and typo:

    I’m NOT surprised he can appear such an ass in others’ point of view.

    Take care everyone!

  1036. #1036 by Jess on January 31, 2010 - 6:33 pm

    funnydove,

    You don’t have to wait for him to contact first. You can send him small message to remind him about you (which he would like it) BUT just remember that you must not feel bad or sad if you don’t get his reply (which is according to taurus men it’s most likely to be like that…) 2 weeks is not long, if he reply your message it’s good if not, don’t take it as he doesn’t care or doesn’t like you anymore but take this opportunity to practice your patient and how to go on with your own business without missing him too much.

  1037. #1037 by Lionsroar on January 31, 2010 - 8:10 pm

    Mia (and all ๐Ÿ™‚ )
    First I gotta say love this site, get more out of trading insights here than months of paid for therapy I tell yah…

    Any way Mia I’m going on 1 year with my Bull. If you look back over my posts.. I went through almost what you did. Last minute date invites, no follow ups after the date. Sometime a great lead up to the date then blah… Anyway if you also look back.. I kept my self busy and did NOT play his games… I kinda trained him indirectly without knowing it. I couldnt handle the one sided conversations or the last minute cancels/invites. For godess sakes I am a Leo.. Jesus everyone knows we wait for no one and think we are the shit!! hahaha.. And I’ll tell yah most of its true..LOL…

    Anyway I did do the last minute invite once and regretted it big time. I think I may have written on here about it. But I also told myself NO more. We were friends first… it went very slow. Actually half way through the dance I didnt want him anymore.. some reason he stepped it up a notch and I started seeing all these great sides to this man.. than I was curious and I started to check out this prey a little more.hahaha Now we are an official couple. I did stop dating around.. but NOT UNTIL HE BROUGHT UP THE COMMITMENT TALK. I was only intimate with him through the whole time but I never told him that. He has crazy mental Taurus male meltdowns over the weirdest shit.. I just let him be. He still will go hours or sometimes the next morning before replying to a text. So everytime he does that I give it to him right back. I do text him, because he already knows my patterns but I give him short one or two word replies. So not like me, I am such a yapper.. He gets th picture. Do not trade yourself down, stay who you are.. you are ready for a relationship it is up to him to see if he can make that ‘bank shot’ or if he ‘scratches’…. hahaha

    If you usually reply right away give it some time but do reply, if you really want to see him tell him your busy if he does the last minute shit.. but suggest another time and tell him to ‘call you to remind you’. Puts the ‘we’ factor in there. I have to say it was along year but so far this guy is paying off 1000%.. HOWEVER THEY ARE JEALOUS…OMG. Thought it was kinda nice at first even cute to have a grown man obsess over me… sometimes though I think if anything breaks us it will be that. *Yah he’s got past trust issues..but I already told him, I’m not her and do not plan on paying the price for her mistakes.. what happened in your past with others belongs to you and them..dont make me part of your past*…. So far it seems to have worked. Good luck. And remember be true to who you are first, love yourself first and do not give up more than you can emotionally afford to loose.

  1038. #1038 by saggi girl on February 1, 2010 - 3:04 pm

    Jess,

    thanks for your great input and has been helping all of us. but unfortunately i do not have good news for you at this moment. we had a rough time yesterday.. at the begining is ok but i told him that i felt that i was not important to him. then he told me that he was not in that stage in regard to his career to give as much time as i needed but he did his best. but my roomate’s new boyfriend was so sweet and came to visit her even during the week and cook for her. it seems he gave her a lot of attentions.. then i complained to him about how he treated me, at the begining he said the way i was complaining is cute.. but he did his best to give me his time..he said that he stays in touch during the week either call or text, and spend time on sunday even though a few hours but that is the best he can do.. then i told him that it is very hard for me when i wanted to spend more time with him..then i said that i wanted to give up a few times but i chose to stay because i love him.. then i asked him if he thought about giving up on this relationship, he said” a couple of times but he is still here spending time with me.” then i asked him why, he was laughing and a little bit shy, then he told me” i do love you, i do, but this is the best i can do.. i guess your roomate and her guy were in a solid stage with their career but i am not.. then i said” i was solid with my career.” then he paused and said” i am working on it and will be soon.” then i asked him what he likes about me, then he said” a lot of things..like you are sweet, good heart and you are caring and compassioate.. i like your hair, your eye and the way you kisses me.. you are pretty. well, a lot of things.. well, that’s it.. ok? let’s go and see a movie( as we are staying in the car at the parking lot at the movie theater)..

    But Jess, even though he said all of this, but i just felt like that i was the last thing on his list for him to think about.. he always mentioned about his career and how stressful it is… then he also said” i do love you, but i wanted you to be happy too, it seems you are miserable with me. if you are not happy, i won’t be happy either. i just wanted to enjoy the time and relationship… i think we need to figure things out.. i want you to understand me but i do not want you to be miserable too…”

    then we are done with the movie, on the way home, i told him again that what i needed.. then the conversation got carried away.. then he said” why everytime at the end of the date, i have to talk and complain about it?” then i said” as he never changed..” then he was like” well, i got your point and we are not going to talk about this right now, like we know how to solve this problem, we will discuss about it later to see how we work it out, as it is obviously both of us are not happy, if we can not figure things out, then it will be really really bad.” then i started mentioning that he is still married and told me a few times that he will get it done but it seems nothing has been done yet.” then he was like” well, i told you that i will get it done this year, i was being hold up because of her lost green card..” then i confronted him and told him that i do not want to deal with a married man, he needs to deal with his marriage first, then if he still wants me after that, he can come to find me. then i also said to him that i felt that i was not part of his life and i knew nothing about him except that we were spending time during the weekend, i never visited his place…he just wanted to hold on his marriage because he still wanted to be with her.” then he was silent and said” well, you were wrong, i assure you that it was not because that i want to be with her, so i did not take action…it was because of her lost green card…” then i said” i can not deal with it.” then he said” could you say something else before you go like that?” then i was like” what do you want me to say?” then he was like” i do not know, but could you add something?” then he asked me if i could give him a hug or kiss before i go, then i did and left for home..

    after i got home, i texted him like” i always tell myself to be patient and to support you unconditionally. and i believe that love will conquer it all. but i guess i forgot that one sided love will be a dead alley. i am not crazy wanting to make you miserable but i have needs to be valued too.I think you are really to let me into your world but i was like an open book to you. and sorry for forcing you to be my boyfriend when you are ready to be one.. thanks for spending time with me today..

    then he did not respond… i do not know what to do now.. what do you think??? am i too crazy?

  1039. #1039 by Confused libra on February 1, 2010 - 5:33 pm

    I need some serious help from all. My Taurus and I and only saw each other once since the beginning of December last year. He said he wasn’t feeling for me and wants to date around and then called a twice, finally we spoe on the phone and he said he thought of me and about our connection a lot, then nothing for another week. And he called again, we met and I have not heard from him for another three weeks. We are not long distant, we live less than 2 miles away if that much. I think I need to move on but I would very much like to have an open talk with him about it. Help! Please girls.

  1040. #1040 by Mia on February 2, 2010 - 3:11 am

    Hi Jess and everyone!
    Just a quick response to Jess & will read ur others, thank you!

    Okay, that so helps thank you Jess!

    I DO WANT to be myself yes and I’ doing that and we are better for it.

    Yes I do love texting and speaking with him on the phone!

    and MOSTLY I just can’t keep feeling bad anymore, you are right. He knows me as me! and he would not be with me still if he did not like me. And I’m realizing he does not play games.

    Hey, maybe he wasn’t planning on a NO SHOW for New Years, BUT he did connect with the gal (his friend) on the messenger…

    I did not let him know I saw it but asked him about his behavior telling him there must be another woman in here somewhere? that is when he admitted it… that he ran into his friend and wanted to pursue her…. Jess, it seems he was going to do this while being with me… he so apologized for this telling me he is sorry for any hurt he cause me…

    yes, I’ve learned from what happened yesterday that he definitely wants me to reply to his texts if he tries to contact me, and if he calls, and i miss it, to go on and call him back. he thinks i have been avoiding him, i’ll explain on my next post.

    you’re right, if he asks me to be exclusive, i need to seriously consider not dating others and just date him. when a guy wants to be exclusive with you, he is serious i suppose.

    he is just very slow to show his emotions! and i know he wants to do things with me and definitely enjoys “intimacy”, but my problem is he has not exhibited ANY emotional attachment with me, only friendship and some possessiveness…

    i’m not sure i want to approach the exclusivity subject again… but here comes Valentine’s Day, oh geez.

    i am expecting NOTHING, no acknowledgement of the holiday and I’m telling you I just can’t see being ‘exclusive’ with a guy that does not acknowledge holidays with me… that is NOT my idea of an exclusive relationship….

    is exclusive Boyfriend/Girlfriend? holidays? but not love yet?

    I’m confused…

    just what does being exclusive mean? we date only each other, no one else… no boyfriend/girlfriend, no love, no cards or any token of affection???? only acting platonic except for sex? he hasn’t even held my hand or taken me out to dinner???

    on the good side, he called my work to give me a coupon for my oil change… was asking how my truck did in the bad weather… ?

    bottomline: he is still unsure of me. he wanted to be “exclusive” the other night so he can still be “intimate” with me… and i do think some companionship too, he likes doing things with me too…

    Thanks and will post what happened yesterday in a bit.
    Mia ~

  1041. #1041 by Mia on February 2, 2010 - 3:21 am

    sorry forgot this…

    Jess, yes he is usually last minute! when he asks a week ahead or two days ahead, he can let something else come up and be late, or very last minute, just like your guy!

    so i’ve learned that i can’t depend upon him until last minute, or he will just not show… i will have to deal with him on this as it comes about…

  1042. #1042 by Mia on February 2, 2010 - 9:30 am

    Hey Jess, Jane, Lionsroar, Saggi girl, FunnyDove, and gals!

    I’m reading more and have not gotten to all yet, but SO appreciate all of you!!!

    FunnyDove, Yes Jess is right! I am realizing that they so do appreciate your attention to them, a compliment here or a small text to just touch base kind of… and yes they may not reply! Mine doesn’t, but I can ASSURE you they read it and so appreciate it! My guy will use my last text to send me his and the subject may have nothing to do with what I wrote! lol

    Jane, Excellent news! You are doing splendidly!
    Jess, awesome about the phone call !!!! yup, you don’t have to explain, I so know that that is so not unusual for a taurus. I did not have this blog with my last taurus and he NEVER sent texts, or emails… only would call me, lol…

    Well, excellent news on my front! He showed signs of missing me! possessiveness! He texted me at 2 am the other day and then yesterday, he called but did not leave a message. I was gone to church, then gone all day, then a church service and a bible study.. and early evening, I got a text from him saying, “why do you keep avoiding me? I have called you and texted you and you do not reply?” I replied, “I am not avoiding you, I welcome your calls and texts.” I told him I had already planned to contact him (text) to see how he was when I got home.

    I found myself reassuring him in a kind, gentle way. It seemed to help him especially when I asked if I may call him. He said call if you’d like… I did and when I explained the reason he apologized, it was nice.

    But I am learning what he likes. He likes for me to acknowledge his texts and calls…. replying to his text, and calling him back when he calls even if I just leave a message returning his call… I know they say never call a man… and I rarely call him, but it would be to return his call if I miss it…

    He wanted to work out with me today, but never got back with me so I did not contact him.
    And NOW since I’m learning more about him, I knew he would let me know the next day or later… so I worked out and just forgot about him…

    Well sure enough, he texted me tonight and asked if I wanted or could play racketball tomorrow… I said, yes that would work out good…

    so it is working very slowly ๐Ÿ™‚

    will read the rest of posts tomorrow…

    God bless and hugs and kisses
    Mia ~

  1043. #1043 by Mia on February 2, 2010 - 9:52 am

    Lionsroar,
    Yup, sounds just like my guy, except for his past ex and trust, that was exactly like my last taurus guy and yes that is how we broke up. i was out one night and he showed up at my home and broke it off because i did not inform him that i was going out after work… i think there was more, but i got over it …

    and now i am very much in love with my guy now, he is too adorable, and i always thought i was more needy than him, it seems just the opposite now… like you, i am acting more non-chalent and he is becoming “pouty”…

    oh he replies to my texts within the minute each time which is great. but sometimes he does not, but i am perfectly fine, no anxiety… i don’t care really because i don’t take it personally, just go on about my busy day…

    no i don’t reply to his within a minute! lol… i will wait but not too long, because he does not like that… he at least is to the point in our relationship that he does care, can’t you see? because it was that he was totally aloof, now i guess he is starting to have feelings…

    Big hugs to you Lionsroar! I am hanging in there, so happy for you and your sweet Taurus too!

    Confused Libra, you may want to ask the others, but when my guy was distancing himself from me and going out with another gal, he stated we argue too much… of course we didn’t, he wanted an excuse.. so i agreed and agreed he should pursue the gal and good luck to him. you see, as much as i want him, and that pained me, i never want a guy that doesn’t want me… i know i’m insecure but at least i have that sane idea that is very healthy. besides, if you want them to come back, agree with him… then yes, mentally move on, he will be back… and if he does, you can casually say, oh i thought you didn’t have feelings for me anymore… ? then you just smile and in your mind, you know you can live without him just as much with him… he will come back …

    Saggigirl, will read yours tomorrow and hang in there, you are so incredibly smart !!! … great to hear from all !!!
    Mia ~

  1044. #1044 by Jess on February 2, 2010 - 11:40 am

    saggi girl,

    I’m not surprised he didn’t respond to your text, I would do the same too… Sorry saggi girl but really you need to grow up a bit. When you are not being sensitive you sound so sweet, mature, reliable and impressive, can you be like that also even when you get sensitive too?

    saggi girl, your guy from what I read has always been the same for you: financially tight, not enough time for you to spend together, but despite of those problems he has he still tried to spend time with you, call and text you, give you support when you are in need hasn’t he? I can understand how seeing sweet couples where the guy treat his bf like a princess can make you feel a bit jealous and want your guy to do the same but saggi girl you know you can’t compare those actions to love. Sweet is good, cute is good but there must be more it that.

    It seems to me you have not been happy nor get satisfied with the person and status he is. It’s not your fault saggi girl, but you need to think about it a guy like him with the career and status that limite ability to provide you what you want in life/relationship, and you still can’t accept him so far, may be you need to think if he’s really for you. I mean he sounds to me as a nice and genuine guy but he can’t give you the life you want or sweet treat you the way you like.

    It seems you need constant attention and reassurance for love from him (words, actions, ) whenever something is up (like the issue of him changing religion that might conflict the marriage) then you need to ask him for assurance right away. Think about it saggi girl, I don’t know if I can can handle if my gf had to give me drama every time something is up or feel a need to pop up the issue about love at the end of every happy date. And finally turn a happy day into a dull moment of cold war in the heart…

    Sorry for being harsh but i really put my mind into telling you those truth. I don’t want that your relationship is broken because of a series of tiresomeness, if it will be broken at all (which I hope not and it would rather not!) it should be out of your decision that the guy is not good for you and that you deserve better.

    Hug you saggi girl.

  1045. #1045 by saggi girl on February 2, 2010 - 3:15 pm

    jess,

    thank you for your thought, i do not know what to do now. he did not call me last night neither texted.. i do not want to withdraw my text as it was too late.. if you were me, what should you do now?? i do not want to initiate the contact as it shows my dramas.. as it has already too much drama..

  1046. #1046 by Jess on February 2, 2010 - 6:19 pm

    saggi girl,

    If I was in your situation, I would try to rest my mind and body and wait for him to get back to me. If I still don’t hear anything from him, I might text him a simple good night message (as a clue for him to know I’m calm now), he probably is waiting for your emotion to calm down a bit to contact you. But I guess he probably text you tonight. (from what I read up until now he seems like a kind person and he understands your way saggi girl so please don’t worry too much)

    Please try to relax and pamper yourself whatever that get you in a good balance again (ice cream, shopping, warm aroma bathing, etc.) It’s important for us ladies to take care of our mind and mental health so we don’t get too much caught up with negative emotion.

    Cheer up.

  1047. #1047 by saggi girl on February 2, 2010 - 7:58 pm

    Jess,

    thank you so much with your magic power over me. and i am calm now. I really hope that i can be like you some day.. i am at my 30s and do not know why i am so not grown up..i am tired of myself too sometimes..

    thanks for your comfort and i feel better now.. sorry at the same time for the dramas i brought to this site.. probably cause you headache.

  1048. #1048 by Jess on February 2, 2010 - 11:08 pm

    saggi girl,

    We all are here for each other, you are only bringing love and sharing to this site and never feel sorry for it. I’m glad if it helps a bit for you to feel better or even just to get it off your chest.

    I really hope you get well soon and come back as the cheerful one you always are.

  1049. #1049 by saggi girl on February 3, 2010 - 2:36 pm

    Jess,

    you are so right.. he texted me last night but a very simple greeting not like he normally texted me before when we were ok, he just like” good night and hope you are day was good.” then i texted him back almost the same messages.. but i guess he was still upset about me based on the content of the message he sent to me..

    your first comment really hit me that you so know me especially when you said that i was always looking for reassurance when there is a conflict.. i do not know why? i told him that i do not feel secure with him whenever there is an conflict, i automaticlly assume it was working against me, then i look for answer from him.. about the religion conversion, we discussed last time when we saw each other, i asked him if he asked people if that is true or not, then he told me that he has not decided yet.. and he did not ask. then i was like” wow, so you will go for that even after what i told you?” then he was like” you need to calm down, don’t you think i deserve the right to go through all of the things before i ask them, just because of something you heard of or somebody said it, then i have to drop it like that? i think i have the right to learn what i need to learn, i will ask when i went that far, as i do not know if i will really go for it or not so far..” i guess i was too sensitive..

    Jess, you are right. i was so sensitive because of my insecurity. i need to relax…
    thank you so much, Jess. i know you are doing great with your bull now. Congratulations..

  1050. #1050 by Tari on February 4, 2010 - 4:39 am

    I have actually been feeling a little heart broken over the Taurus guy I met. We met on campus that’s how we started talking. The first time he asked me to his house to hang out. Since then we hung out about 3-4 times over a five month period, we talked on the phone a lot though, sometimes all night. I kinda grew to like him and he is quite attractive physically.
    We didn’t see each other as much because every time I spend time with him and we grew closer and he would talk about us being in relationship he would withdraw after that and I would not hear from him for weeks. I would ignore him too when he did that.
    He also called last minute to plan something and he never took me out on date or anything. We also never had a sexual relationship and neither did we ever make out. We had a big fall out when he asked me to go to his house and I did, I got there and he didn’t open the door when I knocked, I called him and he didn’t answer his phone. I got really pissed with him. He called me later that night and told me he gives me credit for coming, I felt like I was being graded or something. He claimed he didn’t answer his phone or the door because he fell asleep.
    After that things went down hill. I told him I was done and didn’t like the pain he caused me so I would not contact him and he should do the same. This happened in July 2009. He called me and told me my txt message was B.S. and I was being a bitch, and there was a lot happening with his family life and they were more important than me and a whole lot of stuff. I cut my phone off and did not hear from him for about 5 months.
    On new years he texted me saying happy new year. I didnt even know it was him because I had deleted his number from my phone. I asked who this was and he replied saying its me. I didnt reply back so he called and I picked up the phone, I regret doing that now, should have ignored him but for some reason Im smitten by him.He aplodgised and siad he would make it up to me for yelling at me like that and it would never happen again. He graduated so he moved to a town two hours away. He wanted to arrange for me to go see him and he would take me out and treat me to a fabulous week end. I refused and told him Im not about to start this whole going to him thing just so that its convenient for him. He was hurt but said he would come to me. He wanted to come last week and I told him to come this week because I was busy and had many classes and stuff going on, I would not really have time for him.
    I think he got hurt by that and I txted him but he only replied one of my 6 txts. I left him alone to get over it. He also said the reason he came back to me was he wanted to go to graduate school with a stable relationship going on. He said he only enters into relationships with women he sees as wifey material and I guess he sees that in me but the silence kills me. Im a libra and I want attention, if I dont get enough, I get depressed.

    I think I could love him but my sister totally dislikes him and my friends too, They all think he is too full of himself and thinks he is all that. I know a different side of him though. He can also say very insensitive things which are quite mean unnecessarily.

    Im tired of the games though, I just want an exclusive relationship.

  1051. #1051 by Mia on February 4, 2010 - 6:57 am

    Hi Tari, Saggi girl, Jess, Jane, Lionsroar and everyone!

    Hmmmm… these taurus guys sure do remind me of MY guy too! it is soooo eeiry almost funny! lol… Tari, my guy is very similiar to yours! but we have been intimate and he tells me ( by messenging when he is frisky… ) that he wants to be in an exclusive relationship with me… so other than the intimacy, my guy is alot like yours. and I can remember going to see him once and the same thing happened, he didn’t come to the door! lol… i think he came out just as i was leaving or something… but he had fallen asleep or something, too funny… so really i know it sounds weird but he is ligit.

    I feel like i’m walking a tightrope! hm, that is a song isn’t it?

    Tari, I think i am more a libra – virgo cusp… my bd is sept 25 and yes i do love the attention and do get depressed if i don’t get just a bit, lol.. he is texing or emailing at work for one reason or another, he finds reasons to contact me, so sweet. but my problem is he takes me for granted a little if i respond too much, but if i back off, he gets mad and possessive. so i’m learning! lol

    he texted me late tonight asking if i am up…

    Jess, i know that can be fine sometimes, but not all the time, i’m trying to respond only half the time because most everytime he texts me at night it winds up in the ‘frisky’ area… and i don’t like him thinking he can just have that side of me without more emotion yet…

    he did ask my opinion today!!! he asked about something to buy for when we go camping… but remember when we go, we half all costs, so i can tell you he is still in the Friends stage, yes i guess FWB, almost to the point of courting me, but not yet.

    jess he has already asked me to go camping first of april, and still says ‘ i am welcome to go if i want ‘ to the weekend get away that i told you about and you said, just tell him, ‘we’ll see…’ he is going to go with his friend i think the one that wanted to ask me out…

    the weekends are back to back now…. so maybe i should just go camping and not the other.. but if we go camping WE GO IN ONE vehicle. he stalled on me last time, i went on up camping and he never showed the first night I was by myself, argh. and i have to remember we split all costs, and he acts like he doesn’t know me in front of people at our church, no one has any inkling we are linked… that gets my goat, but he is unsure, but moving closer…. so just need to change my mindset.

    Tari, I want an exclusive relationship with mine too, but i can tell you i’m just like you, and only want it from a guy that really wants one with me.. you stay independent, happy and please try to give him the benefit of the doubt. remember, he does not have a bearing on your emotional health or happiness. keep on your goals, stay busy and treat him nicely as a friend. don’t worry about rushing into a relationship. remember the slower you go, the better it will work out.

    Saggi girl, I hate conflict too! and i always need reassurance too. you were so like me in my last relationship, i learned and have learned to let go.

    i am like Jess in that your guy seems so precious to you, but you can’t see from our perspective. when i started reading about your roommates boyfriend, i laughed because that is so easy to do!!! are you kidding me? lol i can’t IMAGINE my “smartass” cooking a meal for me and being all sappy on me. ha! but i’m like you, i would have gone up to my roommates’ boyfriend and said, “ohhhh you are too adorable for making dinner for your sweetie.. i hate you!” lolllll… of course it makes you think of how terrible your guy is! but he is not!

    put yourself in his shoes and i can guarantee you, your guy, my guy, Tari’s guy are to the contrary feeling like they so don’t want to be failures in our eyes, but have issues and those issues will always come before the relationship. they can’t focus on you until they solve them.

    try this and i am too: no matter what happens, try to stay calm, cool, collected, in control, happy and supportive to him. wait for him to initiate, keep conversations, texts to the point and not too lengthy…

    and USE THIS place for your guy issues, we are here to support you!!! keep patient and pamper yourself:)

    Jess is our beautiful taurus-guy-o-meter and has the best advice and intuition, i am so learning from her and everyone.

    Hugs to all!! Mia ~

  1052. #1052 by Jess on February 4, 2010 - 11:34 am

    Mia,

    LOL, thank you for your compliment! but really I’m still learning about my Taurus guy and working on patient too (remember I’m Aries, the most impatient sign!!!) I had and still have my ups and downs with him. I’m quite a realistic person (that is why I relate fast and well to Taurus I think) and knowing that thing can just end any day for any reasons, so I tried to not take it personal whenever the bull gone bad… Now he has become a special person in my life who I think a future with, yet I want that my first priority is ME. I put my mind and thought into my career and my family before him, which I think he (and other Taurus men) think and do the same too.

    Mia, the reason i told you to reply him ‘WE’ll see’ whenever he asked you to join a trip because it works with mine.

    It’s what I called ‘countermeasure’ tactic in which I let the bull give me the answer to his own questions. For example when he asked me to join a trip (which I of course really wanted to go) but I want to see how much he really want to have me there, so i reply it that way then I wait but get ready just in case because I know bull’s nature he will do and confirm thing the last minute, and it works every time! because when the date is closer he will at least 2 times mention about the trip again and every time he mentions it I can see in the way he talked he picture me in that trip already! (Oh please Oh I really hope my guy never find out this site otherwise I’m so dead!)

    Sometimes I’m stuck in dilemma where I don’t know if I should say YES or NO to him. In stead of answering him, I give him my situation which will complicate his plan. But I know I risk it because if I didn’t mean so much to him, he will just drop me and go ahead with his plan but if I do mean so much he will go out of his way and adjust the plan so that I can fit in.

    But DON”T DO IT IF you only start dating him because he would not care you are in or out, but do it when you can feel he starts to feel for you. Taurus like to act opposite to his heart where his heart is actually very sensitive and kind but his act is bullshit and arrogant! Seduce him, lure him, get him to act out of the heart!

    Now my Taurus is very busy (well he is normally busy but specially more during this period) and worse because he gone crazy with his new gadget he just bought so not contact me 2 days! then last night he text me to apologies and said ‘……but my new gadget is soooo sexy!!! Good night my sweetheart2’

    See… now I become number 2 ….

  1053. #1053 by ms pisces on February 5, 2010 - 1:57 am

    Been reading through all the post and surprised because I thought mine was the only one. I’ve been dating a guy I met at work for 10 months now. He’s an extremist. He’s either the sweetest thing ever or mean as hell. Nothing in between. He’s only mean when we get into a discussion. He says communication is key but when it’s my turn to talk he either ignores me, talks over me, or just walks out that room. That burns me because I think it’s so disrespectful but his thing is whatever I have to say is not important. Wow!

    Also, he never keeps promises when it comes to time whether its coming over, going out, or just calling me back. When I mention it he just says I’m not appreciating all the time we do spend together, just focusing on the bad. The only other problem I have is his friends. When he goes out with his friends (male and female) I’m not invited. His thing is they are so immature and unpleasant to be around but my thing is why does he like hanging out with them so much. I moved to a new city for my job so I don’t have any friends here which of course isn’t his fault. Although he even tells me that he wants to marry me and when he does we have to move because he has too many distractions here (friends and baby mama). He says i’ll never get the attention I deserve while he’s here but my thing is if you’re aware of this, why do we have to move to fix it. He controls his actions. Yea he only hangs out with them maybe 2 weekends out of a month but he always cancels plans with me to do it. We’ll plan something and since all of his friends plans are last minute I get dumped for them and I get to hear the you don’t appreciate the time we do spend together speech.

    Maybe I’m just overreacting. Plz tell me if I am. He spends the night with me about 3 times a week and calls me like every other day. And we eat lunch together everyday. (That’s the only time we see each other at work) Pisces can be known for being clingy and oversensitive. I love him and besides the few discussions we have, his friends, and time, everything else is perfect. Are these 3 things that can be handled because I just don’t know how and am think about giving up even though it would hurt me. I think I’m really emotional with him too because I am 25 but I lost my virginity to him about 4 months ago(no pressure at all from him). He can be so sweet. He surprises me with gifts whenever he works overtime, he cooks for me, takes care of me when I’m sick, goes off on anybody that tries to mess with me(very protective), shares his feelings and secrets with me, and takes me out of town when he feels like we need to get away and just enjoy each other. He has a great sense of humor, my family loves him, and I trust him with my life. We also have a lot of the same interest and passions. He’s very clean and even though I hear taurus are cheap if he has money he gets spoils me even if he only ends up with 20 dollars to last him till the next paycheck. I don’t encourage it but he says you have to live life and be happy.

    I’d rather stay, I just need some advice cuz at times he seems sooo insensitive. I’m never thought he’s cheated on me because he’s almost always with me. The other week when it snowed and everyone was advised to stay he took his chances and drove over so I wouldn’t be by myself. Now hes out of towns with his friends in a chalet in gatlinburg which of course I don’t like. His best friend rents a chalet up there every year for his birthday. He told me I couldnt go but as soon as he comes back he planned a trip for just the two of us to go to Phoeniz Arizona for a week. I’m bored outta my mind anbd just trying to stay calm cuz if I make him mad while he”s out of town I know he’ll threaten to cancel our trip. And of course he’s not calling me. Just send me a random text message today saying we grocery shopping for superbowll party. Umm ok? I haven’t called him cuz he’ll accuse me of trying to demand his time instead of being patient. That really hurts me when he says that. He’s 30, he has a 6 yr old he gets every other weekend that really like me so that’s no prob.

    Guess that’s enough info for now. Sigh

  1054. #1054 by LibranYas on February 5, 2010 - 5:11 am

    I too am irrevocably in love with a Taurus man…we met 5 months ago, he started talking to me at a party (to which I had traveled to quite a distance with a friend) and I was instantly taken by his charm and wit however it was me who initiated the exchange of contact details (which is a first for me! – I am a Libran after all!!).

    A few days later I took the initiative and called him, he was great, and we got on like a house on fire and ended up speaking for 4 hours straight. The next night the same thing happened, we spoke for the entire night and it was him that called me! This continued for a few weeks and a few days before I was going away on a 3 week holiday to the other side of the world, he shockingly said, he wanted to see me immediately, within the next few hours. I couldnโ€™t as I had plans at the moment, which I donโ€™t think he liked however he understood. I went on my holiday and he called me while I was there everyday (at his expense) we spoke like we had known each other for years. When I got back we continued speaking every moment we had spare, hours on end and finally we agreed to meet up. We had dinner and naturally ended up in bed, he was so passionate, telling me over and over how beautiful I was, however refrained from having sex!??? WTF this man is so passionate and we can kiss for hours on end however I just didnโ€™t understand why he didnโ€™t want sex, despite coming close on many occasions??? So I questioned him, and he said if we were to have sex, there would be no going back for him cuz he would fall in love with me and at this point in his career he simply cant allow that! this left me so confused.?

    Anyway we see each other every week and talk everyday on the telephone, via text and email and he tells me all the time how much he wants me ect ect but every time I bring up the subjects of feeling he shuts down, but when we are together intimately he says things like how he doesnโ€™t want to fall for me. Its too late for me, Iโ€™ve already told him I am in love with him.

    Now I am ready to walk away, I find it so incredibly frustrating as to how he can care about me, be so possessive over me, call me everyday (repeatedly until I answer my phone) and not be in love? I questioned him about how he can be so controlled and he says its quite easy as he doesnโ€™t ever ask himself what he is feeling for me therefore he doesnโ€™t know what he feels. I understand and accept this and im willing to walk away and let him go on with this career ect, but each time I try, he wont let me – Iโ€™ve tried to put an end to seeing him, but he calls me and we soon fall back into the same routine.

    We have had many arguments and let me say – bulls are excellent at arguments! he remembers every painstaking detail of everything i have ever said to him! this guy leaves me absolutely speechless with every aspect of him. I have never met a man like him and desperately want to be with him aaarrgh lol needless to say this has become a soap opera nightmare. Any advice would be great.

  1055. #1055 by Mia on February 5, 2010 - 5:44 am

    Hi Jess and everyone,
    That is too funny about his gadget! and you are sweetheart2! ha! you should have responded, ‘goodnite sweet boyfriend3… oops or is this boyfriend4? oh well, goodnite handsome;)’ lol, but i realize, not so funny with him, they can do this to you, but not too funny when you do it to them… hee, hee.

    Nope, i am definitely not feeling his feelings yet, so i have given him indications on “we’ll see” for the trips… but i can tell u i am feeling more relaxed and that helps. we seem to be at a good balance now.

    i am reading the mars/venus on a date about the stages of the relationship and it is super. it is keeping me grounded. it says to sometimes ask him to fix a thing or two… that that increases his attraction and makes him feel special and needed. so i used that to reply to his late message from last nite… i texted him asking if he could fix the truck part that he helped me with a couple months ago… he said “yeah” then asking me if i was at bible study (nah, i replied, taking “j” home from my moms) then he asked what i was doing this weekend;) i kind of think that reassures him that i am not going out on dates other than him? i replied that i had stuff to do around the house and that i was going to clean out the truck… blah, boring…

    he did not reply, which i am actually enjoying… the last few times i have texted him anything other than no response would be a turn off to me, lol… now i am actually increasing my attraction to him precisely becuz he chooses not to reply… which is perfect because my text/emails sometimes ‘speak for themselves’ i just think, ah sweet! my precious taurus…

    oops! i spoke too soon, i hear my cell buzzing, lol… ah… let me check… it is late and i hope it is not him… breathe mia… smile… ahhhhh nice! it was not him. you see i am beginning to see this as a sign of respect. very much like your counter measure which is great. i am training him subtlely, like tonite texting him at a reasonable evening hour:)

    uh, yes! about acting cool, aloof, arrogant when they are sweet babies inside their heart… ah i love it…

    but how do i act seductive alluring? i do want to increase his attraction, but do not want to come across that i am pushy, flirty, geez ๐Ÿ™‚

    thanks jess and everyone! enjoy! mia ~

  1056. #1056 by Mia on February 5, 2010 - 6:26 am

    Hi ms pisces,

    now, scroll back up and pretend one of your best girlfriends wrote that… you said you moved, and don’t have many friends, pretend i wrote it…

    sounds to me that you are letting your taurus disrespect you… please do not think ill of me, but it isn’t his fault necessarily… by your own choices, actions, behaviors and perception, you have my beautiful gal brought about your own misery here. i have so been there, done that… not exactly your situation but i have felt that subservient, resentful role that seems to give up all my control, esteem and worth to a guy that seems to flit along his own merry way while you sit waiting on him…

    hm, no, no no, smile. 2 things come to mind here.
    1. Change your perspective. I am finding a common thread here. usually when we women allow ourselves to be intimate with our guy too soon, we attach alllllllll these unspoken rules, when these rules are broken in our minds, then we punish the guy emotionally, become resentful and overall, place way more emphasis on the relationship than he does.

    – Drop all bad feelings you have towards him (if you can try… okay pretend you hit him over the head with a frying pan, now you’re cool ๐Ÿ˜‰ now place all that energy on you and release all the negative feelings, let it go..

    – Step back and start concentrating more on yourself. Set a couple small goals to go out and get involved… church? gym? taking a class? this way you will meet more people… when you focus on yourself, the angst you have for him will start to melt away… you know why? because you are gaining back your confidence! wahoo! you ROCK!

    now when he comes back, you are more concentrated on your new stuff! and allow in your mind him getting away with his friends, don’t judge his friends if you can help it… keep all negative thoughts away…. agree that it is great for him to get away and also spend time with his sweet son… because when you start letting go and agreeing with him, being happy for him, then he will start treating you better, more respectful and i assure you, you will feel better about yourself and the way he treats you!

    you are way more ahead then me! lol.. your guys does many things for you, how sweet.

    it took me many years to learn this, but in my case, we were intimate too soon and now i want to hold back and get back into myself (maybe even a few dates) so he will get more of an emotional connection with me…

    good luck!
    xoxox mia~

  1057. #1057 by Mia on February 5, 2010 - 6:54 am

    Hi Libran Yas,

    Sounds like i have been once myself, think all women go through this experience you are having…. i am a libra (perhaps libra-virgo cusp) so i do understand your logic and initiative, however, i let my guy come to me… i was just there and think when he saw me that was it…. lol but your guy says more what is on his mind than mine! he is right, taurus guys are especially not in tune with their feelings…

    again, i could say the same as ms pisces reply, let go, let him control the relationship for now.. don’t mention it, but get busy with yourself… you may be already doing this, but scatter your time, being available some of the time, that way you are establishing yourself as an equal.

    i’m reading “mars and venus on a date” by john gray, ph.d. and it is very helpful…

    sorry one last thing… usually when relationships get off to a very fast start, they fizzle, try to keep it steady, slow, calm, into your goals, work, etc. when he sees the pressure being taken off him and on your constructive goals being enacted by you, he will gain more respect of you.
    hugs to you!
    mia

  1058. #1058 by ms pisces on February 5, 2010 - 9:31 pm

    Mia,

    I really appreciate your comments. I agree, I’m too available. I don’t look too much into finding hobbies etc. cuz I never want to be busy when he actually wants to hang out. But, obviously that’s not working in my favor. I do find myself being resentful over things that aren’t really that big of a deal. Pretend to hit over the head with a frying plan lol, I like :-). I know my confidence isn’t where I want it to be which I’m sure is part of my problem. I will try my hardest to not judge his friends because I don’t even know them. We just have so many negative discussions about them. Unspoken rules that are broken in our minds causing us to punish emotionally, that is deep if I must say so myself. He actually called me last night (still out of town with friends) for about 15 minutes to see how I was doing which I appreciate because I didn’t expect it. Thanks for being so positive. I expect most people to just advise me to break up. Will keep you posted.

  1059. #1059 by Mia on February 6, 2010 - 8:52 am

    hey ms pisces, jess, saggi girl, everyone,

    yes ms pisces, everyone that knew (knows my story wanted me to break up too, but i can’t do what i don’t feel & just don’t have any desire to do that, not yet)

    very sweet! see? he called you and you weren’t expecting it! it will help you to train your sweet brain to not have any expectations or unspoken rules of the relationship.

    guess what? hmmm, well, he asked me out tonight and i accepted, geez. you say you are too available, well honey that was not so smart of me, but he came over here… i’ll write more about it tomorrow..

    i am dozing off so sleepy… lol

    but we’re so crazy, we had a wrestling match, lol, he picked me up! lol geez! then he squeezed my ribs, well, his back hurts now and my ribs are killing me! lol

    sending hugs to all of you!

    it was a very nice night, we were frisky but he was respectful in that area too… again he ended the night with kissing and hugging me…

    nite!
    mia

  1060. #1060 by Mia on February 7, 2010 - 5:48 am

    Hey all:)

    Jess, and anyone else, I have a question for you! Please help, here is what happened and my question…

    I’m afraid in some ways I am like ms pisces, well, he texted Friday nite to do something I did… we were to play pool (cuz i wanted to go) but we stayed here at my house and watched T.V. & wrestled, yeah, lol, it was fun! (i wrote that on my last post)…

    anyway, we ended on a positive note. I didn’t think I would hear from him anymore this weekend. Well, he called me about 3:30 Saturday afternoon! we were talking about our trucks and he said he was still going to bass pro to get a fryer for when we go camping… he called later when he was actually going to bass pro (and he had texted me but i didn’t see it until later, that was nice) anyway, i said i might come to bass pro, he kept saying it is really cold outside (usually when he says that it means he is encouraging me not to come, I think…) anyways, I did go, but when I texted him he said he had already gone, and sorry he thought i might come but that i wasn’t sure…

    i know him and from that it means he didn’t really want me to come and meet him, since he never texted me or called me to let me know he was there… no biggee, i wasn’t upset.

    i texted him to see if he thought it would be safe for me to play pool by myself, he said yes. so i did, cuz i wanted to practice, it was fun. on the way there, his other friend “b” called me and left a message! not the one where we broke up, that he said wanted to go out with me “o”, this is the other one that hangs around with “m” too. he, “b” “o”and “m” are all friends. the message he “b” left was that he and “o” were hanging out and wanted me to call him back. I would not normally call him back, and i didn’t, but went on to play pool. they are nice, but I feel that is a very uncool if I want to be with “m”… I want him to get the “message” that I don’t go calling his friends, etc.

    while there, there was a older gentleman that said, here use my extra pool stick, he insisted and looked harmless, so i did. i texted “m” and told him that i was being cautious but wanted to let him know a man there insisted i use his pool stick. he texted back “be careful” … well honey, from “m” that was huge! I texted back, “i will, thx”

    the man wound up playing pool with me and teaching me, it was cool. then, while we were playing, my cell rang and it was “m” ! he said, ‘why didn’t you call “b” back? he wants to give you one of his puppies.’ he sounded agitated. (i’m thinking he was jealous?) I just said i’ll talk to you later, i’m playing pool now… we hung up.

    well, honey, he just texted me now! he texted, “u home?” oh my! that means he cares to text to make sure i made it home since i was out playing pool by myself…

    at first my question was that maybe i was being too available to him, now he is jealous and mad at me?

    But he just texted me to ensure I got home okay, and also he just texted me again now! to tell me he put the thingee together to go camping that he wants to go with me to try it out… guess he is liking me? i texted him that I am glad he found it and nite. he just texted me once more now and asked more directly if i wanted to go camping, i replied, yes i do want to go camping… lol.. ah sweet.

    So I’m answering my own question and learning here… Ms Pisces, you hang in there, you are fine. Just try to remember to resist that feeling that says you need your guy and put that concentration in things you enjoy by yourself, your goals, that way when you do talk with your guy, you can share your excitement with him:)

    Every taurus guy is just a bit different, but I’m finding that the rules to relationships don’t necessarily apply because I’m finding with my guy that when you go on and do stuff with him spur of the moment, it actually shows them that you care, and that is a good thing as long as you aren’t all mushy over him. He can see that I’m more interested in the “stuff” we do more than focusing on “him” & all those mush emotions, lol…. and that is precisely what is causing him to become more emotional over me. I’m being very laid back, and into “me” and my focus I’m realizing is not so much into “catching him” it is almost like I’ve given up the part of me that says I can’t live without him. He can sense this because I’m not as “eager” over him as I used to be, and I’m sooooooo allowing him to initiate…

    But more importantly, I feel confident, in control and my decisions are more on me and my life instead of oh I hope I get to have “m” in my life. And it feels good not to have that needy feeling over him, as if I have released that, like I really don’t care anymore, you know what I mean… and because of this switch in my head, he can sense it I guess, and now he wants me more.

    the reason i love this place is that i have been striving to be around strong, cool, independent women along with trying to figure out my taurus guy. got the best of both worlds thanks to you beautiful gals!!!

    Love & Hugs!!! Mia ~
    xoxoxo

  1061. #1061 by ms pisces on February 7, 2010 - 6:29 am

    Mia,

    Glad to hear there’s much communication between the two of you lately. Gives me hope :-). Him wanting you to text when you get home is a sign that he does care for you. And him wanting to do things with you he’s interested in is a big plus. Totally letting you into his bubble because it’s usually hard for taurus men to trust. The only time I know my taurus guy is gonna answer the phone is when he knows i’m out by myself and he insist he get a call when I’m home. Then he sits by the phone lol. I’m trying to make it through these next couple of days. It’s the longest I’ve ever been away from him and no call since thursday. I actually called fri night and another guy answered the phone so that worried me a lil cuz he doesn’t give his phone to anybody and he hasn’t replied to a text since thurs. Guess I’ll just have to wait til Monday to see whats up. My fear is instead of welcoming him back I start to complain about him not communicating w me everyday while out of town like I said he would. I gotta pretend to beat em up in my head before time so I can let it go. Cuz regardless, arguing about that wont change the situation. Its so much easier to focus on the negative vs the positive. All i’m feeling right now though is that I miss my baby and I hope he’s ok. Will definately update after the weekend.

  1062. #1062 by funnydove on February 7, 2010 - 2:07 pm

    Hi Jess and all girls here,

    Thanks a lot for your advices. I did give him a msg to remind him about me. Absoluttely I didn’t received anything from him. Today is the seventh day, and Im still waiting for some news from him. I feel I could not stand with him any more. He didn’t contact me for 7 days and guest that he will didn’t contact me on the left of his business trip.
    I dont know what I should do now, maybe he forget me forever?

  1063. #1063 by Jane on February 7, 2010 - 5:44 pm

    Hi Jess, Mia, Saggi girl and all you ladies

    I FEEL SO CONFUSED!!!

    Well ladies i need your help, We have met and spent time together the last2 week ends. Last night i cooked us a lovely meal. He has been sending me such lovely romantic poetry all week, told me he loves me, to be patient with him and we will have a pot of gold at the end of our rainbow!! So as you can imagine it has all felt so good. Getting closer, he even said that he felt it too.

    Last night we sat opposite eachother across a table, we where talking about him, his ways, past relationships, he really opened up to me.He also said how i may meet another guy,someone at work or when i am out and not with him, i said so may he meet someone too! We both felt insecure.I told him i am not interested in anyone else (Should i not have said that!!??) Its true though!
    I felt he needed my reasurance, i needed his too and I reached for his hand and asked him to hold mine, my hand ‘cuped’ his, his stayed ‘open’ he only cuped mine once i asked him again!! I felt so hurt but said nothing.

    He looked so uncomfortable, i dont understand!!??
    He left soon after (was with me nearly 4hours) He gave me a long hug and a quick kiss on the lips as he left (first kiss in 6months)

    He text me when he got home, thanked me for lovely meal, told me how fabulous and wonderful i am and then said ‘i am very fond of you’ What on earth is that!!!?? ‘fond of me’ Is that it??? I felt gutted.
    I feel at times that we get close, he feels something, tells me his feelings then sees me face to face and ‘cools’ it down. I have really felt we had moved a tiny step forward, i was happy with that now i feel we have stepped backwards!!!
    I text him back and said him saying he is fond of me tells me alot and he was unable to even hold my hand blah blah blah!
    he text me back and said “not holding my hand didnt mean anything and that words he speaks from the heart means more than any tactile gesture”.

    I didnt respond until this a.m i said to him that i felt hurt, i have embraced all he has said to me and it felt natural to hold his hand, i then said i feel his actions dont match his words blah, blah.

    He has now just text and asked me to resend the text as some was missing!!! (8hours later)!!

    PLEASE ladies share me your expertese!! I love this guy, just when i feel i am getting somewhere slowly, he pulls on the breaks!!!
    How do you think i should deal with this!!??

  1064. #1064 by Mia on February 7, 2010 - 6:58 pm

    Hey Jane! Ms Pisces! I need HELP now too, geez! lol

    I am about to read your posts:)

    My question is this…

    I see where my guy is STILL CONNECTED just as I suspected to the gal he left me for… he said she was bad news, blah blah…

    Now remember my guy is not very tech minded and like all guys i think he forgot, HOWEVER, he deleted my connection when he added hers! he deleted my facebook friendship with him and has everyone else but mine, geez!

    Our last date… getogether at my home, he got very frisky and was respectful when i said, we must stop and go slow, we are not yet exclusive, we can’t do this… he just said, okay, and pulled back… normally he would say, but i do want to be exclusive…. he did not.

    My question is…

    Do I just wade this out and let it go and when he specifically tells me we are exclusive then ask him about his connections????

    I can tell you he will not. I can tell you unless I bring up the subject he will avoid it and we again will go into this partial, vague relationship that was disastrous and made me feel terrible as you can see from the above.

    I am scared because today I may go with our church group to a charity that he told me about… if I see that he picks up the other friend gal at church and I see him hanging out with her and avoiding me, it is OVER. I WILL NOT DO THIS AGAIN.

    Sorry, but I usually avoid, avoid church things he is at with me because he treats me like he barely knows me and chums it up with another gal who he says is just his friend. I do NOT want a two faced guy and have anxiety about this.

    He has made me feel like his cheap thrill (pardon my language) “mistress” on the side and acts like he barely knows me in public around the church people. It is sickening, even if he needs time to decide whether he wants to date me, I can’t be treated this way, and won’t.

    okay I’m done. Now I need your insights too as I read your posts.

    I think the world of him I do, but he needs to get real and at the risk of loosing him I shall talk with him about this, or I can just not go today and not deal with it.

    But as for now, he is loosing me bigtime BECAUSE HE IS ACTING LIKE HE WANTS TO DATE ME, contacting me but is connected out there with some gal, and it is nauseating that I CAN’T TALK to him about this…. ???

    I started an email to ask him saying nonchalently that I thought we were connected but now see that I don’t have his connection and see that you “m” have a connection perhaps with your friend you ran into?’ see that puts him on the defensive and looks like i’m snooping…. ?

    Any help appreciated…

    Thanks,
    Mia ~ xoxox

  1065. #1065 by Mia on February 7, 2010 - 7:33 pm

    Ms Pisces,
    I’m re-reading ur 1st post, and want to address one thing at a time… he ignores u, talks over u, walks out when arguing. are these arguments started with him having issues with u? or u having issues with him? bcuz sometimes u can be putting him in the defensive, that is when he feels attacked & will not listen to u, not that that is right… regardless, remain silent, don’t speak, just let him ramble, walking out and choose not to participate when he gets like that. if he gets mad at u, u just say, when u are calm i will be happy to talk about it, and walk out of room. if he insists, u start quietly, calmly reiterating what is trying to say, like “i understand u feel this way… and here is the way i feel, even though i know u don’t intentionally do it to hurt me…” try to find something to agree with him about.

    okay, promises… do not listen to any of them since u know they won’t happen. that is nothing new for a taurus guy I think… when my guy states something like, sorry we’ll do it tomorrow, i know it won’t happen. i don’t expect it. so i just go on my merry way, swallow my tears & go on. i pretend in my mind, he is mental & just can’t help it, lol… he was to wkout with me on two days last week, did he? nope. did i go on and wkout anyway? ABSOLUTELY! were there very cute guys smiling at me when wking out? ah YES, smile… YOU my dear are a catch! live like you are one:) live like u have no expectations of this guy, release him, take his word, his arguing with a grain of salt.

    his friends? try never to comment anymore about his friends, from now on, ur attitude is his friends are great if he chooses to be around them and like them. u just smile & go on out with ur friends, don’t announce it, just do it. no friends? join a church, join a gym, take a class, get involved in charity work…

    From ur posts, i see two things… ur almost living together if he stays there 3 nites per wk, and he keeps u hidden from his friends. hm, ur relationship sounds like u get the raw end here. one of my values is i could never live with a guy, sorry, no offense. i find guys will be more respectful and take u more seriously if u don’t settle for living together or seeing him more than 3 times per week for dates. I would also start cutting him off a tiny bit at a time and if he dumps u for his friends, next time he wants to be with u, guess what? u are out with ur friends, ur mom anyone the next weekend, becuz u planned it the weekend he dumped u. don’t call him, don’t text him, while he is gone, and puleeze do NOT ask to go with him.

    do not think of questioning his lack of communication while he was out with his friends, u see, when u DO JUST THE OPPOSITE, he will freak out. he will think, geez I haven’t contactec her and she isn’t even skipping a beat? she is acting so happy? what gives????????? you just smile and give him a peck and say, hope you had a great time honey! and go on!

    You can do this ms pisces! you are soooo strong and beautiful and you have all your happiness within yourself!

    Mia xoxoxox

  1066. #1066 by Mia on February 7, 2010 - 7:48 pm

    Hi funnydove,

    He has not forgotten about u. U sent him a message, let it go now. He will be more likely to contact u when u just leave him be, no more messaging, just smile and know that absence for a taurus and any guy will be like a rubberband springing back stronger than ever for you.

    if you two were very close & he has not told u he is breaking it off, chances are that he just is concentrating on what he has before him and he is thinking of u all the time in between even though he is not contacting u.

    i can remember every encounter i had with my guy even to this day, there is a part of me that says, “mia, go on with the possibility he may never contact u again. just live as u would without him and if he comes back, enjoy it.”

    stay busy & if it makes u feel better, journal what u are feeling or talk with ur friends, then go on & live, the ball is in his court and he is the one that needs to think he may have already lost you, smile… ๐Ÿ™‚
    sending hugs! mia ~

  1067. #1067 by Mia on February 7, 2010 - 8:48 pm

    ah Jane! Sweet Precious Jane!

    Giving you a huge hug now and clasping both ur sweet hands now, ah so soft, you must tell me ur lotion brand, tee hee!!

    I think u may need to remember something i am learning that is very very hard to do but will make u feel muuuuch better allllll the time in ur relationship…

    Stay and always stay at LEAST one step back overall, HOWEVER when u make a gesture or say anything that initiates, DO NOT EXPECT IT to be reciprocal. but you learned and it doesn’t feel good i know..

    Remember our taurus will not be forced into any gesture, or words, or actions they don’t think on on their own. I have learned VERY MUCH like u with the guy I am seeing now. even worse, they are more stubborn if u do it first or ask them, nope, they just dig their heels in… geez, are they inhuman? no decency? no conscious? no compassion? yup, I so know.

    now i have gotten over my fit venting from above, it does no good for me to give him power by allowing his actions on that stupid connection messenger to control my emotions, uh uh, no way, no how baby!

    U my dearest Jane need to think the same way. U already know U are a catch!

    I think u will feel much better when u see this from a differing perspective. U are doing what I was doing, what ms pisces is doing and sweet funnydove, geez. we are all allowing our guys inaction, lack of passion for us, to give us doubt about ourselves at the mercy of whether they like us and will be with us. hm. who has the power? uh, they do? yes. because we are happy when they are moving towards us, and insecure about ourselves when they move away… why because we have invested all our being in those idiots that can’t see past what they are going to eat for lunch the next day. geez.

    From ur post, U are giving too much from what I can tell. U are insecure because he is sending u mixed messages, sending u poetry, romantic…

    Did he just start talking about his past and talk about his ex girlfriends to you? I’m not sure I want to know about my guys ex girlfriends, lol, so sorry… do not mean to be insensitive.

    Was his talking about you meeting some other guy like from scared he was going to loose you? that doesn’t sound right?

    normally a guy will snatch u up so no other guy can get u…. and if he is unsure, he won’t go telling u he is scared to loose to another guy? hm.

    I know it hurts so badly, but as you can see it only hurts u worse when u tell him how badly it hurt when he did not hold your hand. u were searching for an answer to comfort u and usually this will make u feel WORSE not better… the tactile comment was well, pardon my poetry, “tactile tactless!”

    Actions do speak louder than words, he knows this already.

    Jane, sweet beautiful classy precious Jane, you are too adorable to allow this guy as much as you adore and love him hurt u.

    Please release and let go and well, get mad if it makes u stop feeling sorry for yourself, to the contrary, he needs to get the message that u are taking tiny steps away from him…

    It took me sooooooooo long to get to where I am, but because I have released my guy, & concentrating on Mia, Mia, Mee a, he doesn’t own my emotions, HE is now holding us up. I am doing NOTHING to hold us up. He has the message now that he initiates, I respond, yeah or neah. done.

    He just now texted me and called me asking me if I was going to the charity event at church! He told me the details, I said, great, thx, and hung up. In my mind, the guy is just my friend. Until HE not me, until HE takes action to make me his, I’m anyone’s to my own choosing, and it feels great! Until u have a ring on ur finger or he is claiming u, u go on and do ur own thing, do not let him dangle u… U are the mouse, his cat claws play with u BUT WILL never really catch u;)

    Stay just out of his reach and allow him to do ALL the work. So sorry Jane no more giving, no more cooking for him, I’m sorry, just let him prove more to u, ur insecurity is telling me volumes. In the book I’m reading, it says, unless he has claimed you EXCLUSIVELY, u are very serious boyfriend, girlfriend, he has to do ALL the work. U do not appreciate what u do not work for. Hey I’m accepting last minute dates, that is bad too. I did Friday and yup, he is better, like way better, but I’m still too available for him.

    Relax Jane, let him lead from now on. Just drop all your “doing” for him, he can row that boat on his own if he wants u… You are precious, so adorable, i am surprised u don’t have men lined up at your door! Step back, and let him be the first for emotions, actions, calling, etc.

    Smile, you can and he will come back. They all do after the pattern u are describing. Remember, rubberband… especially after that much emotion you both shared…

    Mia xoxoxoxox

  1068. #1068 by Jess on February 8, 2010 - 12:32 pm

    Jane,

    “………..he really opened up to me.He also said how i may meet another guy,someone at work or when i am out and not with him, …………I told him i am not interested in anyone else (Should i not have said that!!??) Its true though,….”

    Jane, next time when he raise up topic like this again, just tell him not to worry because if you did you will be honest and tell him. (in my opinion that is the most honest and reliable one can ever give!) Don’t assure him anything because Taurus is too practical to just believe in your answer or feel secure just because you tell him there is nobody else. They know too well thing can get sour and stop anytime or any reasons. But the reason they bring the subject up to you just to see how you reply so they observe it. The best reply you think should make him feel well and secure, on the opposite it makes him think more and hard. Now he might treat back to his own cave to think to ponder to whatever, let him. That is normal. Don’t worry don’t get confused and don’t think too much, really trust me, he will be back. There is no need to worry or feel bad if the response is not what you expect (you will be surprised because most of the time responses i got from my TAURUS are out of any expectation, or imagination!) Now I get used to it and I know his way so i just let him react whatever he like as long as he comes back to me.

    Believe me he will bring up this subject many times and even how much you keep repeating the same answer to assure him, it doesn’t make so much different your answer is not what they expected to hear or what they will believe, they will only believe/trust it when they decide to do! Sorry may be this applied only to my Taurus because i got this same shit over and over that now it becomes something fun to talk about.

    My guy asked me that same thing many times but using terms like: your new bf, your future husband, your new white ass, your new sex fantasy…. You see if i get caught in his bullshit i become crazy by now…

    Jane, try not to over react and observe his reaction, you are sure to see more of the ‘bull drama’ they like to throw at us from time to time and we react it so serious while they go about their business as usual… Jane, keep it entertained. I don’t know why they like to do this, some said it’s their mind game, some said they like to test us, some said because of their insecurity, and some said because they are just an ass… (that last one was me said…)

    I talked from my experience with my guy, may be it doesn’t apply to yours or other Taurus but it doesnt hurt to give it a try.

  1069. #1069 by Jess on February 8, 2010 - 12:40 pm

    funnydove,

    Don’t count the day waiting for his reply especially if he is during BUSINESS trip! When seeing him again in person, bring this to him with reasons telling him how it’s understandable for you to not hearing news from him at all for 2-3 days but a week you think it’s not reasonable for people who care for each other, ask him if he agree. (throw at Taurus a set of logic and reasonable questions, they like it)

  1070. #1070 by saggi girl on February 8, 2010 - 4:58 pm

    Jane and Jess

    Jane, it was nice to hear from you again as you have been quite for a while.

    LOL, it was funny that you described how you got hurt by how he was not able to hold you hand tightly..I SAW myself. hehehe. Jane, no worry, i was there before..It was just their way of handling things.. you haven’t kissed yet before that day, of course, he might need a little time to be THAT close to you. And also, everyone is different as mine holds my hand on the first date and kissed me on the 2nd date but it took him almost 2 months to finally asked me on a date( remember, he stopped me asking for direction and asked my phone number while i was walking on a street), can you believe it? i think for taurus guy, they are strange in certain ways, sometimes, no logic mindset could really apply to them.
    your guy sounds decent to me..i think taurus guy are tough outside especially when it comes to fight or debate over something they believed in, but when it comes to affection, they are shy. that is how i observed. NO WORRY as long as he stays with you and continue to see you and respect you. so, just relax. we woman tends to analyze everything they say, so we can get a clue about what their feeling are for us, but sometimes, if we analyze everything they say, it will cause headache or sometimes cause drama when we misinterpreted.( like i always do that. LOL)..

    Jane, continue to be a sweet jane, like Jess said to be relax and not over analyze about what they said..

    update about me:

    i saw mine yesterday, we spent a few hours together. he told me about the Jewdism thing, he has been very busy during the weekend for services. he has not decided if he wanted to converted to conservative one or Orthedox(might be wrong spelling), Orthedox has stricter rules, he still learns about it, he told me that he might go for orthedox, and if he wants to change to conservative one, he can go for conservative one without going through the conversion again. then i said” well, good for you.” then i kept silence for a while while we are dinning at the restaurant. then he said” so, what’s on your mind? tell me, please.” then i was like” nothing.” then he was like” come on, tell me, what is on your mind?” then i was like” well, i am not selfish, but i need to know how it’s gonna affect me as i think i have the right to know.’ then he was like” of course, i asked Ralbi( might be wrong spelling again) if i could date a non-jew, i even told him about you.. he knows you are an asian.. Ralbi told me that i could date a non-jew but they are forbidding from jumping from one girl to the next….”. then he said” i told him that it was ok as i was not like that anyways.” then i was like” what about marriage.” then he was like” it might not allow for marrying non-jew, but we are not there yet.. i do not want to based the current-moment decision on some future uncertain issue..if we decided to get marry, you can convert or i changed to conservative one.. well, in general, i just wanted to let you know that i am not going to based relationship decision on the religion, i am not going to let the religion to control how i am going to live on my personal life.. do you understand? Either we made it or not, it should be because of us.. not because of the religion…Ok?'” Then we discussed a little bit, i asked a few more questions, he was telling me that he has not made the decision yet between Orthdox or Conservative one.. but if he goes for Orthdox is just becuase he can always changes to conservative one if rules conflict with his life..

    something funny is that he put on the key chain that i bought for him during my business trip a few weeks agowith my name on it, he was kind of hesitating to put it on at the begining, then the next week, i saw him and asked to check his key chain, he was like” wow, i know i am going to be in trouble, this morning, i was telling myself that she is going to check it , shit, i haven’t put it on yet..” then he was like” i am going to put it on when i get home.” that was from last week when we were fighting..
    so this week, i thougt he might not gonna put it on as we were not communicating well due to the drama, but when i saw him yesterday, that key chain was on.. it was so funny. i was laughing.. i know he was not that kind of the guy fond of those romatic stuff( like a teenager lovey-dovey stuff), then i asked him when he put it on, then he looked at me and said” i did not remember.” it was so funny, he was mad at me but still put it on.. but the funnier thing is that i took the key chain( with his name on it)off after the fight, i throwed to the drawer. then i told him yesterday that i took it off and i might need to put it back on, then he was laughing and said” well, i might need to take it off.” then i was like” no, i will put it back on.’

    Jane and Jess, i felt like that if i do not constantly think about where the relationship is going.. does he really love me? looking for the signs that he does love me.. and analyze what he said..and then think deep…then it was so much fun.. that is how i feel..

    but i am still a drama queen.. he was assured that i am yesterday.

  1071. #1071 by Mia on February 9, 2010 - 5:21 am

    Jess, Saggi girl, Jane and all,

    Saggi girl, your guy is very much considering u in his important decision, that is very sweet and the key rings stuff is hilarious and very sweet! i so wish my guy was that close to me as you and jess are with yours. there is something i don’t understand…

    What does it mean when he tells me about a charity church event, texts me just before asking if i am coming and when i get there, the other gal shows up and he seems to stand by her from time to time, talk with her & did not once talk with me. But the other guys that came were talking with me, not flirty but just conversing.

    This was the same gal that he conversed with at my home for bible study.

    Jess, I think you are right… I think she’s a buffer for his insecurity. She is the one I said he should date a long time ago. He said, no she’s ugly… (lol, i don’t think he meant it in a bad way) but you see she is safe. he doesn’t have any guy friends from church he feels close to, he can’t be with me because he likes me and is unsure, so with her he feels safe? but does it in front of me to show me she’s safe? or to test me? or both?

    The charity event is because he didn’t want to be there by himself (all of the others that were there are in a different group from church)… but this is one of the first times he has ever shown interest and quite insistant that i come along…

    He did stay in very close proximity with me when I was outside with the guys & playing with a dog afterwards at the superbowl party. but i left before he and the gal left. we were all in our 3 separate cars. (he called my cell earlier saying me and her should have riden with him, what does that mean? he seems to always put her in the equation when we are around church people or events) she was the one that went camping with us last yr and he asked her to ride on the back of his atv not me, it was crushing last yr.

    I texted him today that i was going to dr. to get my ribs checked out because we were wrestling and he accidentally squeezed me with his legs so hard, i bruised my ribs, lol, geez. he did text me to let him know i was ok…. and then later asked what dr. said.

    is the other gal a test ? i knew this would happen, as soon as i saw her drive up i thought, oh geez, here we go again… and it was crushing to see him walk over to her converse with her then get in his truck to go to charity event… and not speak with me at all but in “private” he calls me on way to charity event, you see, why? that is why i hate being around him at church because i feel like his mistress or something…

    the sad thing is i can guarantee you valentine’s day will come and go, and you gorgeous gals are way further than me and will be getting such sweet nothings from ur tauruses. u have ur emotional, romantic connections & mine is still connected i see with the gal he met too. he either forgot, or he is still in contact with her, i’m trying not to be sad… thanks
    mia ~

  1072. #1072 by ms pisces on February 9, 2010 - 5:22 am

    Mia,

    I would have to say I always start the arguments because I would start complaining about him not keeping his word on something. He’d be like there’s no point in having this conversation because it’s in the past. Moving forward, I guess if I don’t expect anything there’ s nothing to argue about. He’s so easygoing and acts like he doesn’t care about anything. I’m not there yet. Haven’t seen him but he’s finally back now so I’m happy. He called me earlier today, had a nice conversation, and then he said he was gonna take some meds and go to bed because he was coming down with something. Limiting his time over is a good idea. I guess he’ll miss me more. And the longer he’s over i don’t want him to leave. He usually stays 2 or3 consecutive days(never just 1 nite). N then he’ll go home like 4 days. That’s about it. Thanks for the support!

  1073. #1073 by Jess on February 9, 2010 - 10:33 am

    Mia,

    I can’t say about the other girl but do you think she is ugly? because I know Taurus men only date pretty girls, and by pretty I don’t mean just normal pretty, they only court and date beautiful girls!!! (ie we are all beautiful hehehe)

    Anyway Mia, I really don’t like how he treat you indifferently when in public I do recall Lionsroar did go through something like this before, so may be if Lionsror did read this post may be she can shed some light?

    Don’t feel sad Mia, Valentines is just another day, at least my guy didn’t mention nor give any important about it. He told me he will be out of town for business this week, said he will try to come back so we meet on Saturday but to be honest I don’t count so much on that because I know most of the time he said that he will be late…

    I think may be you want to step back and treat him as just a friend? don’t give him more attention nor feelings than just a friend until he can show that he is ready to treat you special than ever.

    Hugs.

  1074. #1074 by ms pisces on February 9, 2010 - 1:14 pm

    Mia,

    Not too sure what to say about the church thing. Him not speaking to you much in public is very normal but talking to the same girl, idk. Now, they are natural flirts so they should talk to everyone but they’re not big on making you jealous intentionally because they’re so jealous and they’d hate it if you did it to them. My guy was very limited with me in public and I felt like he was ashamed of me. Then he’d be all over me when we got home which confused me. His thing was as long as we know what we have that’s all that matters. Like he doesn’t want anyone on the outside to know anything about his life. (very secretive) I think they spend so much time thinking about their reputation they don’t want to be criticized about anything so they don’t share. He even says sometimes he has two lives but that he want’s to marry me and merge them to one. Again, confusing. He even said to me one day the reason I can’t go around some of his friends is because they’re going to talk about me because they talk about everyone and then he’d have to go off so that’s his way of keeping peace. Ummm ok. Hang in there. Communication is they’re way of showing interest because they can cut all ties just like that if they want to and not even take a second look. So, as long as he keeps coming back to you in communication, I’d say that’s a positive.

  1075. #1075 by Lionsroar on February 9, 2010 - 1:43 pm

    Mia,

    Hey there just read up on posts. YES YES YES…. My Taurus did the same thing! He had ‘female’ friends.. which no biggie in my book Godess knows I have more male friends than needed. (Which by the way many months into it he had a melt down over because he felt threatened)..

    Anyway he would turn it ‘off’ out in public.. actually before we dated he was more friendly and interacted with me much better when out in group functions. After we were ‘casually dating and intimate’.. he’d keep me in eyeshot but always hovered more closely by another gal or two.

    My take on it.. He didnt have a clue what to do, say or handle the situation so he did what he does best.. NOTHING! He’d just observe. And yah on more occasions than one I’d give him something to watch! ha.. That’s the bitc# in me :)… And like you I would get a text later that night or the next am. Again they like to keep tabs on someone they are involved with. Funny I found out later, much later that this/these female friends he didnt text/talk to weekly or see all the time. Which I thought was odd because I keep in touch with everyone..haha.

    He’s on the fence and doesnt know what the hell to do.. keep being who you are and dont let it bother you. He’s calling you, he’s interested in you. Stay busy, dont include him in everything, keep your life!.

    He’ll have a melt down one day and rat his self out! They are diehard romantics at heart and love to cuddle, eat and just be in the moment. The hard part is they really dont know how to get there and they panic when they feel like they are opening up emotionally … totally afraid of getting burned thats why they are so strong, stolic and quick to bail out first. They see themselves as a Mans – Man! hahaha

    They are very sweet once they stop the bullshit and games. Just dont play the game if he’s the one he’ll make damn sure he is the only one in your life!

    Look at me I didnt really even want him last year and now we are a couple… Crazy stuff!!!

  1076. #1076 by saggi girl on February 9, 2010 - 4:18 pm

    Mia,

    I don’t know why he reacted like that in public.. i can’t say for your guy as i guess taurus guys are different even though they do have majority traits in common and also i never experienced the scenario like this. As we do not meet in a group and we just go out ourselves.

    But if that was me, i would be not happy personally. but do not take my point on this as i was a drama queen and a little bit possessive. but if Lionsroar said that it was fine, then it might be fine.

    same question for you, do you think that gal is ugly? as i agreed with Jess that they won’t date ugly gal.. so if she is ugly, you do not need to worry about it at all.. I know my guy only date attactive one..

  1077. #1077 by Mia on February 10, 2010 - 6:03 am

    Hi all,
    Thank u soooooo very much for ur support! yes he is texting me about twice per day asking to see how i feel, which is so not him (my rib bruising). he has never cared too much before… he even volunteered to tell me where he is tonight. he had told me a week ago that he had gotten an invite from a casino for a tournament. he shared with me tonight that the t. was cancelled but the casino is making up for it

    and well, the gal is well, she is very nice, I hate to use the word ugly, but no she is rather plain. that is comforting what u say they only date very beautiful women (thanku for the compliment jess, i know u are gorgeous as all of u are), and actually, i have seen him on 2 occasions in my presence gloat over two very gorgeous gals, yeah it was nauseating, lol, and i felt i was going to have to put his tongue back into his mouth. but that was last summer, haven’t seen him “flirt” like that since and no this is totally different from the way he treats the gal. and it wasn’t eye googling, but still i could tell u know..

    and the charity event and superbowl party were great for my ego (a long time coming, i never go out around guys) as there were lots of guys and they kept talking to me, smiling, introducing themselves and teasing me, it was nice, but i did not flirt, just conversing here and there, not a biggee, i was not interested in any of them, but i am beginning to think it might have been a good thing for “m” to be around those guys being so nice talking with me? ( I was conversing with the ladies too, and playing with the sweet children & dog:)

    Lioness, yes, yes and yes. about being around the mutual friends, with the gal & gals, hm, i’m glad to hear he probably doesn’t text her, and it really sounds right.

    Oh YES! I do remember Lioness, when he very first met me, he was sooo talkative with me but I think he was kind of smitten with me at first site, well, i just know he was because i remember it very well. oh he pulled up a chair smack dab for me to sit in inbetween him and the gal he was “with” at the time! at church, i was taken aback at how brash and bold he was trying to find each and every opportunity to be near me, with me for some reason. it was very sweet.

    oh yes, I still treat him as a friend. a nice, supportive, happy, positive friend. I am doing things on the side for my own self, hanging out with my friends, choir, women’s group, etc.

    Yes ms pisces, he will still act very much like only a friend, acquaintence when out, but can’t keep him off me at times when we are alone! lol….

    thank u all, i’ll let u know how it goes…
    mia ~ sweet hugs!

  1078. #1078 by Tari on February 10, 2010 - 11:54 pm

    Hie Mia and everyone.

    Its nice to have some sort of support group on dealing with these Taurus`s.
    Its funny Mia because I am a Libra born on the 26th and you on the 25th, funny we both had to fall all over these Taurus guys.

    My Taurus is born on the 20th of April. I still haven’t heard from him in like two weeks. I even asked him what was up and no reply. Every time we start getting close and I fell like we have made baby steps he withdraws and disappears fro weeks on end. My Taurus is 26 years, does this have a bearing on his behavior. I am 24 years. Does age have anything to do with it???

    I am busy with school and all so I don’t dwell on him much. I also haven’t been in intimate rlnship with him expect a little cuddling and hugging and flirting and it makes me glad because had I given myself intimately to him I would probably hurt more and be jealous.

    The last time we talked I told him that he should get his act together because if I met someone else I like with their staff together I will give
    them a chance.

    Do you guys think its a great idea to just ignore him when he does call?? I’m thinking of giving him right back what he gives me, does this wake these Taurus man up?

    My thought is Taurus man are insecure and every time they start feeling something they get scared. Thats what I get from reading all these ladies posts. My Taurus once told me that I’m pretty cool for a pretty girl but he said he would give it a year to really believe this is me and I’m not being pretentious. It sounded like insecurity to me though

    Let me know your thoughts ladies because I’m so new to the Taurus male. If mine doesn’t contact me by valentines I will ignore him forever.

  1079. #1079 by Lionsroar on February 11, 2010 - 12:37 am

    Tari,

    Rude is Rude! Age has nothing to do with one have the decency to reply to a message …even if the reply is late.

    I’ve said it 10000000 times, “You can never have enough friends”. Treat him as he is ‘showing’ you he wishes to be treated. Nothing more than a ‘casual’ friend. Dont burn bridges, dont say things in haste. Life is so much nicer when you run into people that have came in and out of your life later down the road and you can look them in the eye and say Hello and not Hate or have the desire to hide!

    Never ever let anyone mistake your kindness for stupidity.

    Balls in his court.. if you ever feel like picking up a game of one on one with him so be it. But dont waste time, energy or love on someone that is not appreciative (like not returning a call when a question of concern was posed).

    I think you’ll get a better return on your studies.. invest in yourself!

    ps he me off with the “we’ll see in a year! Who in the hell does he think he is.. are we talking a money market or a relationship!!” Geeze Men are not from Mars.. they are just plain fricken Goofy.. And mine is in his 40’s.. still a head case in my book… hahaha

    Good luck in school!!

  1080. #1080 by Mia on February 11, 2010 - 4:34 am

    Tari,
    I agree with Lionsroar, she is awesome here as Jess, Jane, Saggi girl and every one else! Yes our BDs are so close!cool.

    I just looked up a Taurus weakness, rude is one of them, lol. insensitive at times, don’t think they realize this, know Lionroar can relate too as they are not known for being very reciprical too.

    Remember: Seek first to understand, then to be heard. That way u will not set urself up for hurt. Whenever he does something seemingly unacceptable, such as when u went to his home, he didn’t answer (remember that happend to me too!) contact him asking if everything is okay, then no more contact until or unless u hear from him.

    There were plenty of times I never thought I would hear from mine again, but I DID NOT contact him. It was his “loss” if he never contacted me again, when he did, I never said, “what’s up with no contact?” I just met him where he was at… If he said, “Hey how are u?” I would recipricate. I did not question because he was nothing more than a “friend” in my eyes. Now if he asks u out, then u have every right to ‘seek first’ like answering, “I may like to go out with u, is everything okay, you’ve been alittle distant lately?” something like that…

    You see, either way you are not hurt when you seek first to understand. It doesn’t matter whether he contacts you again, because if he does not, it’s his loss, if he does, he may just be smart after all:)

    Mia ~

  1081. #1081 by Capricorn lady on February 11, 2010 - 8:09 pm

    Hello all ladies …

    Yes another one joining the force here hahaha….

    I.m sort of with my taurus man for about 4 months and you all know what i mean with sort of ..

    But i know how he feels without saying anything sounds trange but true i,m a person who reads between the lines so this may have giving me a head start with becomming closer to his heart than i might have thougt before ..

    Mine does text me more ofthen than most of yours do also because we are having sex and became friends at the same time i,m very relaxed by nature (thankgod for that )
    And from the beginning on i told him that he might win my heart but that i,m the one who is not ready for a relationship yet (i am but he does not know that weeeha one point for me )
    thankgod i did that cause our friendship is defelloping very nicely ..

    And last week i text him a little less than in the beginning but stil very nicely and suddenly he started texting me he misses me ..

    So sweet ladies mind if i join the club here cause i know this will take a long time before he will actualy fall deeply for me and i still kinda need some people who know what i,m talking about cause as laid back as i am it,s still hard not texting him AAAAAHHHH (sorry gues you catch my drift hahhahaha )

    But one thing is or sure we must al be very beautifull;)

    Taurus men fall for natural beaty

    love from a capi

  1082. #1082 by Jane on February 11, 2010 - 9:49 pm

    Hi you wonderful ladies, THANKYOU so much for all your support, i really do not know what i would do with out you all!!
    Finding you all on this site has been an absolute godsend!

    (also i must tell you i have difficulty writing a post, dont know why but it takes about 3hours to type 20lines!! I am a fast typer too!! Dont get it!!)

    Mia

    Thankyou for your lovely hug and for holding my hand!! (more than my bull would do!) LOL It was very sweet of you. You have a huge heart Mia, you really are precious. Your guy is a fool behond means!! I realise what you say that these guys do nothing unless they want to do it!! my god i learnt that lol I do find it difficult to be ‘one step behind’ though, i am very upfront, forward with my feelings. Too much really! I am at times too honest too and give too much but its who i am so i have problem with that.
    To answer you, to get on subject of his past girlfriends we sorta talked about eachothers personality, how we both are. It was me really who was ‘delving’ hee,hee.

    Mia, what did you mean when you said it doesnt sound right that he saying i may meet someone else, i took it that he needed reasurance and i did too suppose. He does send mixed messages at times like saying he wants to kiss me then cant even hold my hand!! We have discussed a few things, he wants me he tells me (not in so many words!) He asking i be patient. I know in my heart this guy is really in to me. He has told me that this year his finances will be sorted, and then he will be clearer about things.I know he worried about that.Taurus with issues i know just ‘freeze’ in other areas until feel stable.

    Mia, your guy ‘she is buffer for his insecurity’!!! Sounds about right, testing your reaction too. These guys are for sure all about security feeling comfortable . Never mind how you feel though!! Selfish too!! lol
    Mia, have you asked him about this girl? I mean who she is to him? Even ‘hey introduce me to your friend’!!! I just mean coz it sounds like you feel he into her, teasing you with her, he may not even like her, it may just be that buffer!!! Lol I think you have amazing patience just like Taurus!! Also a very special quality about you, when you write your posts you explain things and you seem to have a flock of people around you, you are the honey and people are the bee!! Hee, hee. Very enlightening indeed.
    I think Valentines day will come and go for me too!! My guy is working on the 14th!! lol never mind. Mia he texting you twice day to say hi, see how you are, counts for something!? I remember way back in earlier posts, learning Taurus men do not stick around if they not interested, they have a plan, they just have to get off their crazy ass’s and figure out what!!! lol
    Keep shining Mia x

    Saggi girl

    Thankyou to you Saggi girl. I remember how your guy took 2 months to ask you out!! SLOW!! LOl for sure!. What really strikes me with your situation, from all the ladies here is you have been through ups and downs with your bull for alot longer than most of us and he still there by your side!! Yes there are times he freaks at โ€˜saggi girlsโ€™ drama hee hee!! But hey, he gets you.
    I like that you understood my โ€˜dramaโ€™ with the โ€˜not holding my hand thingโ€™!!!! My god that did upset me. Saggi girl he has told me it was not that he didnโ€™t want to hold my hand,far from it he said but that โ€˜he out of practiceโ€™ he thinks!! Oh well, I had to go with that explanation.

    In the first 5 months we together (before friends) we had many passionate kissing going on! Lol In past 2weeks he has said in text, โ€œI want to kiss youโ€ and โ€œbe prepared to be kissedโ€ Goodness, it didnโ€™t happen except a quick kiss on the lips!
    You are so right us ladies do over anylise things, me more than most I think, it does not get me anywhere so I must control that. Well its Valentines day coming up, nothing from him as yet,suppose I cant expect him to want to do something unless we official!!! Saggi girl thankyou for your lovely coments to me and for taking the time to respond, it really does help me so much. You are so wonderful.
    Oh Saggi girl I laughed so much your key ring story. How funny your Taurus guy kept key ring on and you in a huff took yours off!! That is Saggi girl OH I LAUGH SO MUCH!!! Lol

    Sweet Saggi girl, there you are telling me I must not โ€˜anyliseโ€™ so much and there you are doing the very same, so you right it deffinatly a woman thing!!
    As I said at beginning of post, I do not think you have anything to worry about that โ€˜does he love meโ€™ I would say YES he does. Two years together I would say this guy is in for the long hall!! My turn to say to you- Do not anylise so much!!! Got that Saggi girl hee hee. You are doing real good he confide in you about his religion status, he thinking of you too. Like you would say to meโ€ฆ..Relax, you are doing fine!

    Jess

    Thank you to you Jess, you really are like a guiding light with your encouraging
    words to me. I understand what you say about not giving him too much information,
    and that I shouldnโ€™t assure him of anything, I do find that difficult but even more than
    that, if I say to him now after all this time โ€˜of course I will be honest and tell you if I
    meet someone elseโ€™ I feel that he will see that as a change in me and maybe would not
    trust me. I guess I am too honest at times. I know these Taurus are smart and I realise
    that me telling him that I want him and only him may make him think more but Jess
    by that do you think he is likely to doubt me anyway!!?

    You are right too that he will only truly trust when he is ready to, thatโ€™s why I always
    Be exactly who I am, be consistent, of course only if I am happy with it to. I think my
    biggest insecurity with my bull is coz we โ€˜friendsโ€™ it gives me little room to try
    different things or approaches with him, I feel limited with what I can ask of him or
    expect of him. Thatโ€™s why it felt so good โ€˜making that step forwardโ€™ recently with him
    even though we have stepped back a little, or rather he has slowed it down again!!!
    Retreated back to his cave as you very well put it!! LOL He has not left, still there
    Texting 2/3 times day, but Jess what is funny, well typical Taurus. Last few days
    Since Monday, text me every a.m then not another word until next a.m!!! I was
    Thinking why this may be and he has just text tonight and said how work not
    good, some stresses and issues, I realised then and there, that is why he been so
    โ€˜quietโ€™!!! Should have known.
    I believe with my guy its his insecurity why he behaves/tests reaction this way. I will
    try Jess not to think too much, I know you are right, I am like Saggi girl and think
    waaaay too much!!

    I should take note to what you said in Miaโ€™s postโ€ฆ.treat him as a friend, not too much
    feelings until he treats me as the special one!!
    Wow he is so addictive lol and I know he wants me as much as I want him, which
    makes my situation all the more harder for me!!
    I said to him I will be โ€˜patientโ€™ as he requested, so that is what I will do, goodness
    Its hard. Thank god I have you and these wonderful ladies here!!! 3 CHEERS!!!
    I do hope Jess all is well with you and your guy, with his pending trip ectโ€ฆ..x

  1083. #1083 by Mia on February 12, 2010 - 5:02 am

    Hi Jane! so good to hear from you, you are a breath of fresh air!!!

    Welcome Capricorn lady, u are already doing great. Mine too is verrrrrry sexual with me! and i am just as crazy for him as he is me. but in my head i still treat him as a friend, uh, except for this weekend may be a turning point? i’ll explain below.

    I am sorry don’t have time to read all ur post Jane, but thank you dearly for your kind words! so sweet. no, u are so right, ur guy is just insecure and so endearing, you both are too adorable Jane, i think you make a perfectly delightful couple! i can already see that you are a perfect match.

    my guy has been texting me much! and none yesterday but tonight came on very very very strong! we just got off message and he was humbled i think that i invited him to come over with my friends this weekend. i didn’t want to pressure him, don’t think he will, but it doesn’t matter, i invited him and i soooo wasn’t needy about it.

    he already asked me for saturday and i said yes. geez, jane u are so sweet to say i have much patience, but i need to turn him down and just can’t…. we have had very much passion for each other last weekend and this. he keeps asking how i am and feels guilty for injuring me last weekend. i have NEVER seen this side of him.

    i did not want to but had to ask him tonight if he is dating other gals. he said no. i knew he wasn’t and i know he knows that i am not dating anyone but was trying to get a feel if it bothers him, or if he would rather me not date anyone but him. doesn’t matter because that is not important i am realzing to my taurus. he i think is the kind that is so subtle, yes we date, don’t talk about it, yes we are sexual, and boy is he ever into me, oh my! i am letting myself go with him but trying not too much in that way, but am thinking we are well maybe headed towards the boyfriend girlfriend thingee soon.

    he is wanting to take me to a movie, and already is talking about getting frisky in the movie! geez!

    have a question, i think i may know the answer to… the only way to gauge his emotional self is how my radar picks up on how genuine he is to me? well, he sent me two emails from work one was a very funny video, so sweet, the other was an upcoming event i may like (he did not ask me to go with him, but still it is huge that he did this) then he asked how i am feeling? he has texted me over and again and today sent an email that he feels bad to hurting me and that he is sorry ( i am on NSAIDS for bruised ribcage from when we wrestled, he is so strong! lol i’m fine but just a little pain well, it was sharp but now going away, he did not mean it! we were only playing around, we’re like kids! lol )

    he says he wants me to go wild with passion with him this weekend asking me what i’m going to wear… oh my, i am crazy for him.. he has never said that before. i can feel him moving very very close now. he did tell me to drop it after he said i was the only one he was dating, so i said, dropping it and that i don’t like talking about it either! geez, lol… when he was asking me to get sexual with him, i am thinking like, i don’t want him to think i am a sleeze, but i do also want him to know i do not intend to get too sexual with him if he is still wanting to date others and would think he would want me to not date others, but i can tell that is not his style, he is just like go with the flow and we just know… (we seem to have this understanding knowing and when i look up our birthcharts it says the same thing and that we have much much passion for each other, boy do we! lol )

    so i just have to go with my heart sweet jane and all my beautiful gals here. my heart says love this guy with gusto (but i am still holding back just a bit… ) but this is me for the most part and all of u say, no matter how many ebooks i read, to be myself! and i am a very passionate person like jane… yup jane i am a hopeless romantic, but what i love about my guy is that he isn’t, i love that he is cut and dry, passionate intimacy for me and we have fun together.

    yes jane he was testing me, i think he does want me more now that he did see the guys smiling at me, hee hee, but u know me by now i so was not flirting with them, i talk to them like normal, i have a brother and grew up with guys around me, not a biggee. so maybe that is why he is thinking to heck with it, and perhaps snatching me up for himself… well pretty soon maybe.

    yes Jane as i read your last post, treat him only as special as he treats you. you can, you’re doing beautifully and he is just being cautious because he must have been hurt in the past like mine. mine has been veerrrrry cautious and i was so confused.

    it is soooooo funny jane! you are soooo right! I can assure you he wants you just as much as you want him! that is what i have been feeling alll along with my guy! i feel my guy has been head over heels deeply passionately in love with me since the first time he laid eyes on me, and i know i have! lol too funny!

    sending sweet hugs to you and everyone here. God (Goddess, as Lionsroar says) bless you all and much love to you!
    Mia ~
    (reading another part of your post Jane, yes, try to think of his retreating back into his cave as him building up missing you! he is you know… he can understand how strong his feelings are for you, so in my book and in the book i read john gray, “cave away!” it only builds stronger feelings for you until he can’t stand it and misses you terribly, Jane, you have that beautiful effect on your guy!)

  1084. #1084 by Capricorn lady on February 12, 2010 - 9:22 am

    Dear Mia ,,

    I found a piece of that on line ;

    When a man is upset or stressed, he will automatically stop talking and go to his โ€œcave.โ€ No one else is allowed in that cave, not even his best friends. This does not mean that there is a problem in the relationship; it simply means that he has a problem he is trying to solve and he isnโ€™t ready to talk about it, or ask for help. In fact, asking for help is the last thing a man in his cave would do because he is in there trying to solve the problem on his own. Remember, male self-esteem is based in part on his ability to solve problems, and accomplish the things necessary to be a good man, good husband, and/or good father. Once he has enough time to either come to a solution, or he realizes that he needs assistance, he will come out.

    Well that,s mt taurus now i gues this is the first time i haven,t heard him for over 3 days ..
    Afther the text that he missed me i text him back that he knows where i life and a extra sweet little kiss for him..
    Than afther that he text me to please come over his place on saturday (please he added )

    Monday was the last text that he is very happy that we will be together again on saturday (with just the two of us words)
    I text him back that i will cuddle him very sweet when i see him ..And that was it (the caving in started i,m holding on and not texting him )
    We usualy text eachother every other day some times 2 days in between this is the longest so far i haven,t heard from him but reading your posts thats nothing compared to some of you here ..

    So i,m very happy to see him on saturday and holding on strong here not texting him ..

    Keeping busy busy busy

    Gosh i love this man sooooooooooooo much

    peace and love
    Capi

  1085. #1085 by Jane on February 12, 2010 - 4:30 pm

    Mia

    Hi and thank you for your response to me Mia, you say such sweet things and yes I think we make a delightful couple too!! Hee hee.

    So Mia, your guy is coming on strong hey, great!! I think it real nice you invited him over, you are keeping it casual, friendly and with other people there too. You say he has asked you to meet with him Saturday and you are going to turn him down, WHY!!? Mia, you said you had much passion with him last week end, why not again this week end? It sounds to me like you are protecting yourself, of course not a bad thing but hey be careful you donโ€™t give this guy the hot and cold treatment (only they allowed to do that!! LOL

    Mia you said also that you asking eachother if you dating anyone else and that you trying to get a feel if it bothers him, believe me it will bother him! He may not say that to you but be sure he will be watching and checking every response you make to him. Remember these guys are all about โ€˜securityโ€™ if he sees you dating others he will not trust you, he has to feel you in to him only, yes selfish I know, but he will be scoping you out to check how loyal you are. Smart woman like you can do that whilst remaining independent from him, it will bring him closer. You are right with not โ€˜givingโ€™ too much, I need to learn that but remember with all the crazy antics of bull men for them to see you as permanent fixture in their life you have to tick their boxes ofโ€ฆ.loyalty, honesty, consistency, stability to mention but a few and of course the big one โ€˜femininityโ€™!!! lol Yes โ€˜their boxesโ€™ never mind us fabulous ladies have boxes of our own!

    You said it yourself Mia, that your guy is passionately in love with you and has been since he set eyes on you, so it seems he is holding back coz he just not quite sure yet, just like mine, he is getting there though!! Goodness at this rate we will be old and grey by the time they do!!! Lol

    Hey Mia, thanks for the tip โ€˜John Grayโ€™ โ€˜cave awayโ€™ How insightful and so so true.
    Capricorn lady said how they retreat in to their โ€˜caveโ€™ and under no circumstances can be disturbed. It is just how they are, how they deal with things.
    My guy all week has text me every morning and then nothing more, he usually texts 2/3 times day. I realised last night when he texts to tell me problems he having in work that that is the reason he went quiet, โ€˜CAVE TIMEโ€™ lol its so true.

  1086. #1086 by Lioness on February 13, 2010 - 7:30 pm

    Hey all haven’t been on here in awhile. I was just wondering for all you who have caught yourselves a Taurus man what kind of tests did they put you through and how long has it taken him to be aware that he wants to be with you? My taurus man I havent talked to in awhile. However, he still gets on yahoo pretending to be someone else when I catch him up he gets angry and gets off. He is currently seeing someone else right at this time apparently our mutual friend asked him why he was seeing her he said it was to make me ticked off. Everytime he talks to our mutual friend he asks about me I guess to see if I still talk to her and so on since he found out that I did the next words out of his mouth to her was he wanted our mutual friend to meet his new gf and go on a double date. Interesting huh!!! What I don’t understand is why pretend to be other people on yahoo try to make me jealous with some girl that everyone says they don’t picture him being with oh and she is a Gemini. Then he goes on to say he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings???? I am way past lost here… I have no idea what to make of all of this at all and if everything with him is just a lie. But I have noticed if you don’t contact the Taurus Man he will come after you so that is what I do let him come to me. lol

  1087. #1087 by Mia on February 13, 2010 - 8:28 pm

    Hi Jane, Lionsroar, Capi and everyone!

    I have a problem and need encouragement, but first want to know how you all are getting along:)

    Jane, hang in there, problems with work. You are like me, you adore affection from him I do too… It does hurt when he did not take your hand, so missy I am going to get on to you like I would my best friend. Please don’t set urself up for hurt by reaching out to him first. I so did that in the past and it hurt deeply when not returned.

    So this time, yes I am being protective, cautious, but maybe too happy and supportive of him. Cuz yes Jane I did accept for this weekend! and he hasn’t contacted me yet for tonight.

    argh! sorry abit sad, if he does not show, I will not know what to do… we are supposed to go to a movie, our first. he hasn’t taken me out too much at all. just pool really.

    Capi, hang in there you’re great. Let him cave and miss you more. very sweet about him wanting you for Saturday and same as mine, haven’t heard a word yet.

    I will keep my chin up and stay busy and have a fun day and night regardless of whether I hear from him!

    okay, so i’m really sad ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I can pretend and I refuse to let this man, okay this highly attractive man whom i am crazy for, make me feel bad for myself.

    But I can tell you gals this for sure, I may be naive, and think I am, but I think he knows not what he does to me when he caves on a date, and I will allow him the benefit of the doubt but i ain’t stupid… This is a pattern with him, and I am NOT going to contact him asking if he is still going to take me out.

    Will keep you posted, and Jane! that is what I have been wanting to hear! I do not want to date anyone else, and have a feeling if I did, he would run. I would never want to betray him, and since he does not want to talk about it, I won’t date others for sure, BUT I do not want him to take me for granted either. Again, I think he has problems and I am going to allow that even though he does not bring it up.

    He has not established any emotional connection but think he may be slowly getting there, my problem is how much do I allow him intimacy with me with not asking how my day was… he just says “u ok?” that is it.

    If he is a no show, please give me advise…

    Thank you and hugs,
    Mia ~
    Lionsroar, u hang in there! I thought u were a couple now? I’ll bet u he gave u every indication and now bailed? remember mine dated someone else but I calmly approached him on it to get it out of him and was happy for him, that way he knew he could come back to me, because i didn’t seem mad, BUT I let him know there was someone that wished to date me, so now that works well;) i can still assure u, i don’t want a guy that does not want me, but i’m learning sometimes it appears as if i do not respect myself, because i am too available for him! geez, so i’m learning with my guy that the “actions” i send him is what he understands, not words. (from “why men love bitches” i stay nice, if he disrespects me by not showing for this date tonight, i stay nice still, but he will not have another date with me any time soon. “actions” & why stay nice? becuz he has to know that he does not control my happiness, if he bails on a date? it is his loss. i’m just as happy pampering myself, (ok, maybe not, but don’t let him get the impression that he is that important, plus it takes pressure off him and he will wonder, gain more respect for you, and will be more attracted to u, and courting you, that is what i am after. love & hugs to u!!! mia ~ )

  1088. #1088 by Mia on February 13, 2010 - 8:33 pm

    Mia,

    Just as I posted this, he just now texted me.

    I’m learning to relax, and sink into his ways. smile.

    he says ‘hey u’ to me… i say it back, but would rather him say, ‘hey sweetie’

    he only has given me affectionados two times in 8 months. i’m just ‘hey u’ …

    again, i think i need to learn to be just a tad more unavailable so he will miss me and know he wants me more in a loving kind of way?

    I do love ‘hey u’ lol, but hopefully when he sees he wants me in a romantic way, he will call me sweet names like sweetie too once in a while…

    sending hugs to all, mia ~

  1089. #1089 by Mia on February 13, 2010 - 8:34 pm

    why did i address mia ??? geez. i need to eat! lol… sorry and meant to address my last post to all you beautiful gals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    xoxoxoxo

    mia ~

  1090. #1090 by Lionsroar on February 14, 2010 - 5:19 am

    Hi Ladies…

    had a chuckle it seems there are two of us Leos on here me and Lioness.. Apparently everyone addressed Lioness as me.

    Lioness I dont know what to tell you, mine NEVER dated anyone else. I was the one doing it. Honestly if you’re a Leo I’m suprised you didnt say screw this and do the same. Regardless of what your heart felt..hahaha…

    Any man that is dating someone else or blowing you off INSTANTLY BECOMES CASUAL FRIEND STATUS! Period. Do not let anyone treat you second or play games. Men/Taurus goof balls included are like all the rest of us.. if you want it you want it and you go after it. Those are games, control checks.. total bullshit. Dont play it ..walk away GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT AND THEY INSTANTLY DO NOT WANT IT! haha

    Well update on me “Lionsroar” still going strong just have a crazy fabulous night.. fire, wine, candels, he cooked a fabulous meal, bought me a beautiful high-end suprise gift and chocolate covered fruit. I swear to goodness I almost told him I loved him tonight. Of course I didnt.. I know a year later to most that would seem long enough. However he has not said it and honestly I view myself as an awesome gift and am very picky at this stage/age in life of who I give it to!

    Mia for what it is worth I still do not get called sweet names, there is no honey, baby, beautiful etc. and I cant stand how he says good night , “see ya”. Mentioned it once and now I realized I’ll just pick battles that mean something. As you can tell by the night I just had he like all Taurus men when they fall in love with you SHOW it. They are not one for words at all.

    Hang in there girls above all… put yourself first until they start putting you first, keep your lives and until it is mutual acknowledged, they are really close friends you are dating with the possiblity of more. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Best to you all and you are ALL PERFECT AND RIGHT WHERE GOD INTENDED YOU TO BE.

  1091. #1091 by Mia on February 14, 2010 - 8:25 am

    Lionsroar, Lioness, and all,

    Sorry it was me! lol I got confused, sorry… yes Lioness, about dating others, casual friend status…

    and thank goodness mine did not blow me off tonight, but I need some direction please..

    This is the second time my guy has done this. He asks me out, says we are going2go to a movie, winds up at my house before, we get very intimate, then he stays and we hang out, and do not go out at all… last time we were to play pool, tonight a movie, did not go out at all. we watched T.V. but we did have fun. I do so enjoy being with him, just wish he would be honest and say, let us just hang out at your house?

    he came over at 7 and stayed to 5 hrs, so I guess if he only wanted me for one thing he would not stay. But he never wants to eat?

    This was Valentine’s weekend and nothing, it’s okay, but no compliment, no cuddling, no card, no gift of any kind, he has never given me any gift, nor taken me out???

    It does seem like I’m getting nothing but the pleasure of his time and he gets “some” like a “booty call” with a little T.V. and he still isn’t asking about me? but even so, he was carressing, loving and did kiss me on the mouth way more than he normally does, so i do think he is moving closer.

    Also, he was texting someone when he first got to my house, can’t remember but before or after we were intimate, he was talking to someone on the phone telling them to call some guy…. i think it was a guy friend, because he told them oh he wasn’t doing anything, just hanging out, then he was laughing, then said oh just by myself, then laughter again, then he said, okay i’m at ‘mia’s’ saying my name, then laughing again, like cut it out… like the guy was ragging him about being with me? … lol… that is a good thing. like the guy was ragging him for liking me… or ‘getting some’ whatever…. i was not offended it was a call that made me think the guy was teasing him like you like mia, everyone knows it, and my guy was just laughing like stop teasing me… it was nice and made me feel like my guy is crazy about me.

    no i did not question who the caller was, i just smiled and went along with our night. but something happened. i got a text from someone wishing me a happy valentine’s day, from a number i do not know…. he started playing a game on my phone and said, you got a message…. i said, oh yeah i do not know who that is… i went into the kitchen to get some water, and when i came back is when he started saying i had a message and i told him i do not know who that is, he said, just call the number, i said, no, i do not want to, i do not know who it is nor do i care…

    he didn’t seem too upset, maybe it was the guy he was talking to? anyway, his phone died just before he left my house, when he did leave, he kissed me and hugged me for longer than usual, it was very sweet. he was saying he had a good time, i said i did too. so sweet.

    but when he left, i noticed that he had replied to the message!!! oh geez. he said hey, what are u doing…. to the person that left me the happy valentine’s message…. i died! i called him, and it went to voice mail because his cell phone had died, i left a message teasing but telling him i could not believe he left a message with the person that texted me. i told him i do not know who it is, and i am going to get him next time i see him for doing it!! geez, lol

    overall, i can’t complain, it was a nice night and i will continue to be patient.

    Lionsroar, your post is very comforting to me. I’m hopeful that my guy will be romantic some day… maybe i should slowly move away, not be so available….

    hugs to all, and any advice always welcome ๐Ÿ™‚
    mia xoxoxo
    another plus was i have a son and a daughter that do not live with me, they are older and out of the house, my son called last time my guy was over and he spoke with him through me asking questions so that was cool. tonight my daughter called and i told her in front of my guy that my guy was here and we may go to a movie…. he, i think liked that, and did ask how she was when i got off the phone… so i think he does like me for more than intimacy, and maybe there is a chance he may move towards an emotional, romantic relationship with me someday…

  1092. #1092 by Mia on February 14, 2010 - 8:37 am

    Hey ladies,

    I know why my guy texted to the person that texted me happy valentine’s day… because he was possessive and was trying to get a response to see who this was… hmmmm… (referring to my last post)

    sorry it is very late and i’m half asleep but just now realized it… maybe that shows he does care and wants to know who would send me a happy valentine’s day text when he himself did not acknowledge valentine’s day… i know it is tomorrow but tonight, nothing and i would be extremely surprised if he even acknowledged the holiday.

    excellent lionsroar with your guy, sorry, i meant to tell you how happy i am for you! that is very very sweet and romantic with your guy.. funny about see ya… yup, now that makes me feel alittle better… lol.

    mia ~ xoxoxoox

  1093. #1093 by Jane on February 14, 2010 - 10:42 am

    Hi Ladies, Happy Valentines Day to you all and wish you love and happiness now and always.
    Oh of course I do hope your bull men come forward with wonderful surprises for you lovely ladies!!!

    As for me, goodness I was lucky to get a text!!
    Yes a text!!?
    As I said in previous post, my guy has been quiet all week really, distant than normal text every a.m and thatโ€™s all, he has had a stressful week at work to which I have offered my support, he is very grateful of that and told me so. I have stood back and gave him his space โ€˜cave timeโ€™ lol.

    Heres the thing, I text him yesterday morning, just hi hope you ok, thinking of you ect ect, no questions so he wouldnโ€™t feel he had to reply. He did reply a sweet message and asked me how I was, so yes I replied back.
    Then during the afternoon I sent him a little text, told him one of the things I had been doing (as he knows about it) I knew he would like to hear hat, I asked him how his day was going, he didnโ€™t reply, I know when he has things on his mind he does this, I do understand but he ladies, goodness a lil text was all I wanted!! He shuts me out completely and I think the reason it affects me when he does it is I have no warning! He just gets in that โ€˜caveโ€™ and ans switches radar off!! I find it rude, ignorant. If he said to me โ€˜listen I need some โ€˜meโ€™ time โ€˜caveโ€™ time โ€˜quietโ€™ time I would know to give him that coz I respect he needs that.
    So here I am sat outside this cave waiting for him to emerge!! Heaven forbid I need him in the meantime, tough!

    He text me this a.m wishing me a happy valentines day, I could tell by the message that he wanted to say what he wanted and that was it, short and sweet. He always text me in the morning with questions, even if it โ€˜how are youโ€™? or โ€˜what you up toโ€™? I just wish he didnโ€™t let all this how heโ€™s feeling affect his way with me, God I sound needy now!! Lol I really donโ€™t feel needy just โ€˜shut outโ€™. I realise these Taurus dudes have to do this and sort things alone at times, my only wish is he would tell me that, that way I would still feel in the loop!

    I text him back wishing him happy valentines day and asked him โ€˜if he is ok as he sounds far awayโ€™
    He didnโ€™t reply!!

  1094. #1094 by Lionsroar on February 14, 2010 - 1:03 pm

    HAPPY VALENTINES DAY LADIES!d

    Mia,
    I would bet $20.00 your guy wrote or memorized down the number that the Happy Valentines Day text came from and I guarente he went home a Googled it to try and see who it is from. Even if he didnt show it..that really pissed him off. I know because my guy is the same way and YES THEY ARE JEALOUS AND POSESSIVE. I get comments regarding male friends of mine even business associates in regards to when I met them with “Arent they married, doesnt their spouse mind?” Of course I say no but I want to to say everyone is fine with it But You! I can tell he does not like it.

    The hanging at home thing.. that’s a standard a huge trait of these guys. Cave dwellers..yours or theirs, they dont mind. I would make damn sure the next time he comes over and your suppose to go somewhere I’d have my shoes on and purse in hand saying ‘lets go…I’m starving for some popcorn, a beer.. whatever give him a quick hug and peck and GET THAT DATE”. HAHAHA

    Remember that is all my guy did last year this time.. and even when we went out we had straight to the cave..hahaha OH YAH AND YES THEY DO WANT LOVIN TOO.. Do not think for one second they do not!!. That is very important to them.

    Like my evening yesterday..which was our Valentines Day since I have other obligations today. I did have a choice to try a new restaurant or let him try out his culinary skills.. I knew deep down he wanted this evening to be in the cave. haha so I said sure. Besides the night before he took me out
    to this great restaurant that we’d been trying to get in.

    They want to go very very slow.. they are emotionally void verbally and they like their one on one time with the gal of choice..it is like a never ending observation with them. Trust me I did it.. then one day you wake up and bam they just morph and you become a couple and everything becomes we, instead of back to my house it becomes do you want to go home.. etc etc.. you have to keep your ears open. Yah mine still goes mia on occasion, still sends stupid ass texts like, “I hate doing dishes”.. I am still the one to start the conversations with how was your day and most of the time he doesnt ask me about mine so I just tell him. hahahaha Yah I’m the chatter box always he only is when it is just he and I alone.

    LIke I said last night he blew me away. When they start up they are excellent gift givers..the items are definetly well thought of, personal gifts that you will love. They pay more attention that you realise. My friend is married to a Taurus..she laughs when we talk on occasion about my guy..She always says God Sister its like you’re living my life 15 years ago.. run for the hills. hahahaha Apparently they are all very similar.

    I think deep down all your men have feelings for you that is why they are still around and pop in and out of your life. They really have no clue how to get from point A to point B and they are so cautious!!

    Be friends for first, with benefits if you like (I did!) But keep your life, keep in touch with them on your terms and above all keep your eyes open and observe them.. because that is what they are doing. Telling you they are the most simple creatures I have even been involved with. I refere to him as that Puppy from hell.. cute get it home; doesnt listen, not good at potty training, tears up everything in site, still adorable so you cant flip on it then when you are ready to take it to the pound.. Poof they become your best friend and the adorable doggie you knew they’d be thats why you picked it and brought it home in the first place.

    hahahahahaha

  1095. #1095 by lola on February 14, 2010 - 1:49 pm

    hi everyone!

    i read through all ur posts and i ve realized all taurus men are brothers lool.

    lionsroar i know what you mean with “see ya” mine says “take care” with a hug or a hug and two kisses on the cheeks
    ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
    yes we ve been dating for a year and a half, with ups and downs like all of you experienced, everytime we got closer he pulled back etc.. one day he s into you then he gets scared the day after and he denies whatever he said the day before.

    recently i decided to give him all the time he wants, he s slowly realizing im not like before anymore: i talk to him on the phone but i dont ask him to see him, i let him know i go out ( but enough to suspect about who with, even if i just go out with the girls), etc.

    he finally invited me out a few days ago, after a while we havent seen each other, then he asked me if i wanted to go back home or stay over his, i said i didnt want to go back home cuz too cold n scared after watching a scary movie, so i agreed to stay at his. this time though i asked for a t-shirt to wear to sleep , you know what i mean, and he said yeah later. basically he tried so hard the whole night to have a body contact, both cinema and home, holding my hand at the cinema, trying to kiss me at home, but i didnt want to, etc. so he said come on i know you missed me and i missed you too( HE NEVER SAID THESE WORDS BEFORE), then he said come on it s st valentines week end this week, and i said it means nothing for us( cuz we re not boyfriend and girlfriend, that s what he said last year, and that s why i said that now)anyway he finally convinced me and we went on…. you know what i mean……..

    the day after he was, for the first time all sweet and happy when he woke me up to go, cuz he had to go to work, and before leaving the house he, for the first time iniziated a hug before going…….

    we walked to his work place, which is near where i live too, and i was really curious this time what he had to do to say bye…… and he hugged me and kissed me on the cheeks( like friends) and he said take care(whhhaaaattttttttt?).
    of course i went without showing any disappointment, just ating cool.
    i thought just wait maybe he didnt know what to think about me and he s still in progress of getting better with his behaviour.

    it s been about 3 days when we last saw each other, of course i didnt expect any contact but hoping for st valentine’s day. today is st valentines day : it s 2 pm no contact.

    i guess he still has to figure out and taking decisions here about us as a couple , and he cant tell me happy st valentines day if he hasnt decided yet. i have no intention to call either, and i hope he ll start to think that if he doesnt want to celebrate it there is someone else who wants to do it ……..

    basically if it was last year i would have made the contact in a way or an other, but my behaviour this time towards him is totally different.
    what do you guys think??

  1096. #1096 by Lioness on February 14, 2010 - 8:03 pm

    Hey girls Happy Valentines to all!!
    Mia and Lionsroar I think you are both right I am just going to end any romance that we share since he has someone and I am just going to tell him we are just casual friends because of this. What I have learned is too kill a taurus man with kindness for some reason it makes them uneasy and they tend to share more. I have also learned that if you do them wrong they will get back at you harder and it is an on going cycle. My taurus man says he has feelings for me but who knows if I can believe it or not I feel like he is setting me up for a fall and I dont trust him that much it is just me with everyone I dont trust easily. I feel tho as if he is putting me through these tests that I have to pass or something its like an interview for a job and he does it so well he will say something to see your reaction and see if that is what kind of quality he is looking for. With him I have taken everything w a grain of salt and I dont really take anything to heart and I look at everything as a test. He is sneaky one too he has done background checks on my family and everything else even is starting to get closer to my best friend. I really dont know what to think he is an odd one that is for sure I have read that alot of them are Bi-polar so maybe that is the case? Mia I have learned that you cant be all over the taurus man for some reason they like to chase you have to initiate things but if they feel that you are gone and you dont contact them at all they will be contacting you for sure. If you contact them they sometimes respond when they wish and sometimes they dont at all. It irritates them too when they havent heard from you because they dont have you in the palm of their hand. I have noticed that when I was gone and he drew me back in he didnt like it one bit even stated he missed me and he was glad I was his again. again the possession thing they treat the things they care about or whatever as possessions and they are always lurking around somewhere close even if you dont know it to make sure everything is going as planned and his treasure is still going to be there. Goodluck all dealing with your taurus men girls they charming for sure but mind boggling as well.

  1097. #1097 by Jane on February 14, 2010 - 9:51 pm

    Lioness

    Hi lioness, happy Valentines Day to you.
    I guess like me you have spent it alone!! My god these guys are hard work for sure!
    Mine did text me back this morning, said he was going for a walk around town and may be buy some things. I thought yea great, you cant spend any time with me though!! It is real difficult for me to expect or ask anything of him as we โ€˜friendsโ€™ but I must admit, today I have felt so disappointed that he could not even suggest we meet for coffee or anything.

    I am trying like I said I would to be patient, its so hard. I even bought him a Valentine gift, just a small thing and a card, nothing over the top as we โ€˜friendsโ€™ LOL Goodness!!! Didnโ€™t get to give him it and I didnโ€™t even figure in his mind.

    The thing thatโ€™s eating away at me at the moment (I think PMT creeping in again here! Lol) is I text him to ask how his day went and he called me, saying he was still in town, my thought well all shops closed 2/3 hours ago and he was getting a train with hour and half travel, so I am now thinking has he been on a date!
    I cant believe that entered my head, its just coz its Valentines day, we friends, I cant ask him to spend time with me and anyway I would like him to initiate for a change!!
    I am feeling so low right now, yes I am putting too much in to this, I am worried if I โ€˜pull backโ€™ he will see that as โ€˜changeโ€™ in me and not trust me!!?
    I feel like an idiot!!

    Lioness you are so right how they test ou, interview mode is how I feel most of he time, I feel fine for most of the time about him/us/me then I feel the insecurity creep in as it is now and the emotional me comes out! Of course he has no clue, goodness that would freak him out altogether.
    Maybe I could try not contacting him at all unless he contacts me! What do you think!? That will be so hard for me. I realise how they like to chase and come after you. I think he knows he โ€˜has meโ€™ and apart from his lovely texts to me he is not trying at all. Its like he asked me to be patient with him, no be a good little girl and wait!!! Always on his terms.
    You are right also when you say they respond as they wish, this past week he has gone back to his old ways of taking for ever to respond and even once or twice ignored my text completely, thatโ€™s not like him.
    Thank god I have you wonderful people to rant this too!!! Thank you x

  1098. #1098 by Lioness on February 14, 2010 - 11:02 pm

    Hi Jane!!!
    Your story is so familiar are you sure we aren’t talking about the same Taurus man LOL. Mine does the exact same thing he left me a msg. this morning telling me happy valentines day and asked me how I was. I mean seriously he acts like he is in some safe zone or something and doesn’t want to move at all. Yes it is hard to ignore them it really is I have tried it but you know what Jane it gets easier it really does esp. when you see they are out doing things and they could be with you that is not putting you first at all. They also like the push and pull thing when you get too close for comfort with them they push you away when they decide they need you and miss you they some how pull you right back in. Mine always is trying to one up me trying to make me jealous or whatever to get me to go to him and I won’t do it he has a girlfriend he ended up getting her apparently to make me mad that is what he told our mutual friend. He was also mad that I wasn’t talking to him anymore and it made him act out he says one thing and really means another like take for instance he wanted me to get off of his ass and find someone else but when my friend was going to set me up with someone he got really angry. He also got really angry when my friends bf was talking to me and flirting w me before they got together he said to my friend well he picked the right one and after that he looked up this guy found out what he looked like and did a background check on him. I have no idea what for he has a girlfriend like I said I am not sure if he is just hiding behind her so he doesnt have to feel anything or what the deal is anymore. He is also trying to test me by taking his new gf to go on a double date w my best friend and her man. I think it is funny in itself how he tries to get one on me you know. It is kind of thrilling tho in a way lol. I have noticed tho if a taurus man really wants to be with you he will find away so give him his space and let him come to you!!

  1099. #1099 by Mia on February 15, 2010 - 3:34 am

    Lionsroar! That is too hilarious. Love ur post!

    Jane, Hey at least your guy even acknowledged Valentine’s Day! That was very sweet! My guy and I had a very nice time last nite, but he NEVER mentioned Valentine’s Day! And guess what? I CERTAINLY WAS NOT! hee, hee. yup, sometimes we are two peas in a pod.

    Oh yes about the text Lionsroar, i got another today, and it is one of my girlfriends! he knows her! and he is still keeping us secret from church friends, but for his actions he has a consequence, good or bad, doesn’t matter. so i told her that he was over at my house hanging out and we were figuring something out with my phone and he questioned me about it and i was trying to figure out who it was, so he texted that when i went to get something in the kitchen without me knowing it. so if he doesn’t something i won’t cover for him at my expense. and if he is ashamed of me, then he should not be with me, well, you know what i mean, i honor his privacy and have learned not to have an issue with it but i DO HAVE issues still with our bible study. the guy that runs it asked if i am going this next thursday and i can’t say i will go.

    it is getting too nauseating to be there when he is there and watching him avoiding me like he doesn’t hardly know me, talking with that gal the whole time. Jane, i do know the gal, have nothing against her, it is him that is leading her on… she can’t help it…

    i texted him earlier that i am going to get him for what he did, just teasing him and then telling him the identity of my mystery happy valentine’s day message was… he said he got a new phone like mine and that was earlier today, and nothing since, so no. no valentine’s day wishes, i know him and he will be “dam###” if a holiday will dictate when he sends affections or greetings to me. He did not let my birthday, nor Christmas dictate this either… hm, that is all i can figure …

    and that i need to slow him down, get a bit busier so he will know i am not available for indiffenently. Thanks Jane and Lionsroar, you both have answered HUGE questions and I knew the answers but your validation is priceless! Jane on dating others, for my guy no, he is learning to trust me, and me him for that matter… & Lionsroar on the intimacy, yes, he just about attacked me last night, and i him, we so have that part of us down pat:) but remember no affection, like he sat on the other end of couch, really… no hand holding, no cuddling, nothing. but a nice kiss on my cheek and a nice hug when he left. (he was very passionate with kissing while, you know… but after it was like no physical proximity….

    I am funny though, so don’t think this odd Lionsroar, I really do value our time together moreso than a movie and we can eat at my house, if he would, he does not want to …. but relish the time we do have, we play wii and watch T.V. it is very nice… will be nicer when he holds my hand and we’re a couple.

    Lastly, Lionsroar, i do understand the morphing thingee, and yes for one step forward, we go back. I notice this with all guys and almost dread our dates, because when we are on a date and we are intimate and spend much time together, i know the next few days will be very very little contact. it is the Cave thing…. yup, maybe you may not notice this but i do…

    but he did say in a text last week “we” for the first time!!!!!! he said he got the camping cooking thing for when “we” go camping… and he was even going to pick me up to go and get it. he has NEVER offered to do this. I almost did not catch it! I caught the “we” but he casually mentioned it on my cell message he left last week. he is starting to morph hopefully Lionsroar! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Happy Valentine’s Day!
    Mia
    P.S. I was brave but had to send a short email to him just now to let him know he is not connected with me anymore on this message thingee, and i did tell him when i click on his picture i can see he is still connected to the gal and deleted me from facebook. i so did not want to tell him, but felt it needed to be said. i said i would graciously bow out for him to pursue her again, but if this is a misunderstanding we can talk about it later. and i was very nice about it and first spoke of how much i enjoyed out time together. remember it is very odd for me to initiate anything, but i felt i needed to get this out. hopefully he won’t get upset and well he should not because i don’t think i did anything wrong, just asserting myself in a way that hopefully will not make him feel too defensive…

  1100. #1100 by Capricorn lady on February 15, 2010 - 4:07 pm

    Hello sweet ladies ..

    Wow where to begin well i was my my sweet guy from saturday till sunday noon ….

    We had marvelous sex it,s getting better every time ..
    He loved my smell loves the way i have sex with him ..
    Loves to hear my uppinion on things and even says he repects some thing i did in the past wich he says is very difficulf for a lot of women ,he thinks i,m a good mother ..

    Her talks to me about his parents and work also the bad parts ..And he has manny times talked about having a child of his own so did he satuday night …When i talked to him about that he said ye i,m getting a little older and i think i might just settle down afther this year if i can find someone who i think is worth it ..(so i said he will not talking about myself ofcourse)

    And was extremly tender to him and felt he was feeling loved …

    But at the same he was first suposse to pick me up (than calles that he could not drive cause he had a few beers)
    So i went with the bus and wated 30 minutes for him at his door (he was to late not his style but he was )

    I was not angry i just called him up to see if he was ok nd if nothing went wrong ,,he claimded that he thought it was 10 o,clock but i said no its 10,30 now (he did say sorry tho )

    I am very relaxed toward him always, never angry and sometimes i tease him and give him a hug he does hug me to sometimes …

    We are old schoolfriens and this fyday we are having dinner with a few he asked if he could pick me up to go there (so sweet)

    But i,m still not sure if he whants me for his girlfriend ore if he is realy waiting for the right one because we are seing eachther to have sex but i do know that the first time he saw me again afther 30 years of school he was flabergasted when he laid eyes on me and also very nervous ..

    Still he said to me in the beginning don,t fall in love with me cause cause it can realy hurt when you are not loved back but that is 4 moths ago and he put me on his calender (birthday even got me a present and he got me a little thing from rome where he went to in december )

    Gosh so confussed don,t know right now ..
    My heart cries out PICK ME I LOVE YOU ..
    But my mind is stronger and stays calm and relaxed ..

    waahhhh getting crazy here ..

    love and piece

    capi

  1101. #1101 by Mia on February 15, 2010 - 7:44 pm

    Capi, skimmed through some of ur post, remember a fine balance, keep listening to ur mind even though in ur heart you love him. same here probably for all the ladies here:)

    well, Lionsroar, i nicely confronted mine in an email last night about seeing him connected to some gal and about facebook. he called me! last night! and said he did not delete me from anything, he has no idea who that gal is… but it doesn’t matter. what matters is he called and he also replied to my email that he did not delete me. yup that is all, he is my sweet man or very few words, or letters for that matter.. ha!

    yes he is soooooooooo like my lil puppy, inadvertently destroys his toys… yup, i’ve loaned him my fishing poles and he accidentally broke them or whatever .. when he “teasingly” pushed me out of the canoe last year, he accidentally broke my sunglasses! lol, ah! that man!

    anyways, as it turns out when i clicked on that gal that he is connected to, i am now connected to her! but she is cool because i see some cute lil avatars she made… so if you can’t beat em join em, maybe she could be a cool online friend, even he was flirting with her or however it came about… geez.

    bottomline if i don’t trust him, i do not need to be with him. if i have an issue or misunderstanding from now on, i will go to him in person or call like he did me!

    he called late last night as soon as he read the email.

    that shows he cares about me. he replied to email too.

    AND he left a message in my email on the message thingee, and said his sweet “hi” he did it last night to prove we are still connected… ah so sweet.

    the only issue i now have, okay, just one more …

    Lionsroar, Jess, Jane and all u beautiful ladies…

    We again have bible study this Thursday nite. I will absolutely throw up in his lap and in the gals lap if he sits by her, talks with her, buddys up with her and ignores me after being with me for 5 hours Friday nite, deeply passionately intimate! and behaving as if we are so totally a couple pretty much! definitely dating seriously here… geez…

    do i tell him i just don’t date someone and then see him buddy up with another gal right in front of me, remember this is the gal he picked up for bible study last year and i was shocked. no he does not like her, and i have NOT brought this subject up, I’m trying very hard to keep things very positive since he got back with me… and don’t want to confront him any time soon since i confronted him last night on the email connections and facebook stuff..

    my battle was picked for this month! lol… i’m done for abit, but sooooo need advice on whether i can go to bible study and just pretend he doesn’t exist in the same room as me. that is usually what i do. i treat him with no more importance thatn he treats me! i keep trying to remember one step back but realize with our taurus men appreciate a tiny step forward from us and then let him pick up the slack and initiate from that point:)

    Thanks and sending tons of love and peace like sweet Capi!

    Mia ~

  1102. #1102 by Capricorn lady on February 15, 2010 - 8:05 pm

    Thank you Mia ..

    Gosh it,s very hard on you to the ignoring thing ..
    This is the first time sinds we have been togther that we go out in public i,m realy wondering how he is going to act infront of our old classmates no one knows anything just that we will be ariving togteher but we are not official yet so i can,t just say acros the table ;, yeah we are just having sex haha SORRY…(little joke )

    But Mia comming there with a nother girl and ignoring you WOW you are a strong woman deep respect for you ..

    All these taurus men have the most strong women here i,ll tell you that ..
    We are strong, wise, and fight for the true love we feel, so when they realize that (witch unfortunantly might take even 2 years for some of us i gues )
    We will be given heaven on earth ..Cause that is what a tearus husband can be for a good woman once they make up their mind ..

    We are worth it yeah ..

    Sorry just needed to get that out some times just wondering when they finaly see it !!!!!

    But what i do know is that my guy was already heartbroken 2 times first with his wife who cheated on him and later on with a nother girlfriend who did not whant him anymore because he was moving to fast ..

    So i,m up for a long fight to win his heart over cause he was hurt very bad ..Thats why i,m so tender with him and letting him know i,m there for the long term ..

    we are both 36 years old this may he will turn 37 (and i know he does not like it and whants to settle down )
    He is a big child who needs a safe home (me haha)

    I love this man ..Soo deeply

    Ok keeping strong

    love and peace for all of you strong ladies here
    We,ll make it

  1103. #1103 by Lionsroar on February 15, 2010 - 11:42 pm

    Mia

    If it was me on Thursday if he was playing the same game of cat and mouse I would walk up to both of them and say ‘hi how have you been?’ to her. After her reply I would look at him and say something personal in reference to your evening last Friday night that was funny/cute…

    Something like.. “Well you look like you’ve healed nicely since last Friday when I kicked your butt o the Wii at my house.. ready for a re match champ.”… you know where I am going with that..

    Basically it does 2 things.. first of all lets the girl know about you and him if she doesnt. If she does and she makes mention of knowing whatever you throw out there double blessing.. you know he is telling her about you two.

    Secondly it calls him off the fence and forces him to acknowledge a friendship infront of this woman. See what he says, watch his reaction. He’ll probably be relieved. I’d hang around and chat a few more minutes then excuse myself and go about mingling around the room. If he wants to chat after that let him approach you. He probably wont, he’ll probably text you later. hahaha

    But hey that is what I would do and have done when needed. No sense in punishing yourself there is no rule that states you are not allowed to let people know you spend time.. at what level is up to you. It is true what they save if someone hides your relationship then you shouldnt be in one with that person.

    For every action there is a reaction and my dear you are allowed to react how ever you damn well please.

    Keep those beautiful heads up ladies.

  1104. #1104 by Lioness on February 16, 2010 - 3:01 am

    Mia,
    It for sure sounds like you have your hands full. But I would say give him a taste of his own medicine. whatever he does to you do it back to him he will dislike it very much because he is not in control of you. If my taurus man were wanting me to go out with his friend I would simply tell him no I have someone else in mind I don’t need your friend. He sounds like he is just keeping you in his backpocket for when things go wrong with other girls he knows you are there waiting on him. I am beginning to resent mine very much so for doing the almost same thing he is with someone else to piss me off but yet still wants to talk to me under different names when he gets confronted with things he gets pissed and then he feels bad afterwards and comes back every single time. Mine says he has feelings for me but I don’t believe him and he knows it. I was always afraid he was setting me up for a big fall and I wasn’t willing to take that gamble with him. From what I have been reading some men don’t want you to be with other men and they keep you at arms length but still try to keep close to you but also date other women because they know you are the one and they arent ready yet. The funny thing is with these men they play dumb so well and act like they dont have a clue what they are doing or what is going on when confronted on things or they will turn it around on you to make it look like you are crazy. Goodluck ladies dealing w these men!!!!

  1105. #1105 by Mia on February 16, 2010 - 5:53 am

    Hey Lionsroar, Capi, sweet Lioness who needs to hang tough!

    Jane, Jess, Saggi girl and the rest of all our gorgeous gals…

    Thanks much for your encouragement, advice and support. You will never know how invaluable you all have become to me. Yes as Lionsroar says this is better than therapy. My wish for this year has been to find some beautiful strong gals so I can be mentored and learn the very best, healthiest way to relish my relationships effortlessly, not just with “m” but with my family, work friends and all I come into contact with. Because if I do, then my taurus shall become a ‘healthy’ magnet to me as I already am a magnet to him in my heart.

    Capi, thank u for ur compliment, it flatters me that u see me as strong, wow, u are strong too i can tell. and I can see that I think my guy has been thru much hurt too or he wouldn’t act the way he does. i have been slowly trying to gain his trust in me like u, rarely if ever angered by him, even if he is late, or whatever the reason may be, i seek first to understand these days & i like u & the others here think my guy is terribly endearing underneath his gruff, cool exterior that i’m wild about. u’ll do fine in public, just be urself, yeah it would be very tempting to say something to ur classmates about u having a very intimate relationship, but think I would just go with the flow this first time and just observe him, and wear your beautiful gorgeous smile all night. remember if ur taurus mingles a bit without u, u do that too. sometimes i read a taurus will mingle without u then come back to u. if he does this, show him how secure (u already are i know!) u are by mingling a bit urself and that way he is like (wow, she is a keeper, i can talk over here without her & she looks so happy, she is all mine… ๐Ÿ™‚ good luck!

    Lioness, i so know where u are coming from as i was so there with my guy. it is disheartening i know. but even though u may not believe as i did not at 1st like u, when my guy told me he had feelings for me, then eventually i caught him when he hooked up with some other gal, then dating his friend thingee… as it turns out he does have very strong feelings for me. i stuck it out and yes i gave him a dose of his meds by letting him know (calmly, firm but nice) that since he was pursueing another relationship then i would be free to date a few guys that have cropped up from my past as well, that it should work nicely. i ended it with him, wished him well. done. it did not last long, i had a feeling he would be back. now it was a huge mistake he said… if ur guy is blatently dating another gal for any reason doesn’t matter, u wish him well, and no contact from u to him. u see u have the upper hand here because he had date date date anyone, ah but those dates are not u. he now misses u. u see either way u win. and remember u are happy! (ok, just pretend, u can!)

    Lionsroar, thank u for ur great advice! i’m holding off for now, and may not go but i know this gal, and she went camping with us last summer. she rode with me and yes it was a terrible trip, becuz “m” had us both where he wanted, ha! she rode with me, and i even told her that she may not know it but “m” and i are dating… she didn’t have a clue she said, i told her how his behavior confused me. i don’t know her too well, but she is a bit immature in her thinking, i mean she is a typical woman (not like us all knowing wise women… u know what i mean, regarding relationship stuff) and i have a feeling she may have told him, geez, oh well. i do remember “m” started becoming buddy buddy with her, and two other friends all the sudden last year while he was with me “on the side”…

    i told “m” they were trying to set him up with her because “m” was shocked once when they invited him and the gal for the weekend somewhere on the exact weekend we were to go camping. at first he did not believe me thinking i was invited to, but then he realized when i told him, no i did not get an invite, that he admitted that may be true, but said absolutely he does not want to go out with her, she’s “ugly” …. hmmmmmm…. (that made me feel a tad better, but still it crushed my ego, i was expecting him to say, ‘i can’t go out with her, she’s “ugly” and u’re the only one i wish to date.’
    yeah, wishful thinking…

    if he was not moving towards me, i would definitely take on your advice Lionsroar, i always do greet her and greet “m” like i always do, and just go on. we’ll see and i’ll keep u posted.

    i texted him on cell when we were getting some snow, he texted me “just be careful” and that he is headed home from work. THAT IS HUGE for him. he has only told me to be careful when driving once before. u see, he is now coming along….

    i read that it could take as long as a year for him to think of u as the one, like u Lionsroar I think… so i have a feeling i won’t have to worry much longer about the church / bible study / gal thingee.

    And remember, I let another gal from church know that he was at my home and sent her texts (to find out who, when she wished me a happy valentines, he did not acknowledge the day, oh well.) That was the first for me. She texted me last Friday while he was here and he saw it, wondered if it came from a guy I am sure…

    Love and Peace,
    Mia ~
    Lionsroar yes about every action he does, has a consequence. so for each time i see him with that gal right up under my nose, i’m nice, calm, but he does not get the pleasure of seeing me for awhile. he keeps bring up my friend that liked me so much he had to not see me anymore…. and “m” HJIMSELF told me that i should not keep doing things with a guy that i don’t have feelings for becuz he may get the wrong idea… u may not remember me telling u this, but he did, isnt’ that interesting… i could tellll him the same about this gal… we’ll see…

  1106. #1106 by Tari on February 16, 2010 - 7:59 am

    Hie Ladies

    I finally got the time to read all your posts today.

    Lioness
    I do support you on giving the taurus man a taste of his own medicine. My taurus called me last night around 2am to wish me a valentines. I didnt pick up the phone coz he has the nasty habit of wanting to call me in the middle of the night showing his usual selfishness.

    My phone has a caller tune called prince charming which t-mobile send me on valentines day. When he called me before I didn’t have caller tune on my phones but last night when he heard the prince charming song I assume he thought it was some sort of cute present from a guy. He left a message saying oh Tari I didn’t know a sweet girl like you gets up to stuff like that, here I am wanting to wish you a happy valentines but I guess you already have a lot of stuff going on. (implying I might be getting together with other guys). After the call he texted me and asked me what was up with me?

    This is coming from a guy who has been ignoring me for the past week and a half and called to wish me happy valentines at 2am. Can you guys believe it.

    I managed to return his txt around 4pm today and he didn’t reply and I’m like here we go again. Its like I’m dealing with an adolescent guy. I had classes and was too busy to reply earlier. I tried calling him around 8pm today and he didn’t pick up the phone but in the message he asked me to call him back.

    Guys this guy has been ignoring me for a week and I don’t pick up his phone because I would rather speak and what does he do, he crawls right back where he has been hiding before. I am getting annoyed with him. I feel like telling him off.

    Anyways I gotta go to bed and sleep this off. This guy makes me tired and I feel like giving up on him seriously. I will keep him around maybe till something more worthy comes along.

    Good night ladies and do keep your heads high. Be patient.

    Mia

    My heart knows exactly what you are feeling. I wish you the best with your Taurus. My only advice to all the lovely ladies here is to keep other dating options open too in case you meet that special person. Thats what I plan on doing.

  1107. #1107 by Lioness on February 16, 2010 - 3:45 pm

    Mia and Tari,
    thank you so much for the words of wisdom Tari all these men are about is games they are something else I went through the same thing with mine when him and I would talk as ourselves he wouldnt respond sometimes and sometimes he would in his own sweet time. I will try and tough it out. I have told him exactly that the problem is that he wont talk to me as himself. He hides behind yahoo names pretending to be other people and then he gets ticked off when I confront him on it and turns it back around on me to make it look like I am crazy. I have just learned to go with the flow. I haven’t actually talked to him since October as himself I talk to his aliases everyday. He himself always asks about me though my best friend when he talks to her sometimes. I have no idea what to think and why these men go to such lengths to play games. They for sure dont like it being done to them though they get pissy and act like a child. After we got into an argument I wasnt going to speak to him again but he keeps on making up different names to try to talk to me……. I know its him because for one when our mutual friend talks to him and she is like a sister to him he is honest with her sometimes about who he is and lets on that it is him but still wont say and any other man wouldnt get so angry being caught up and its all the same with him he types the same way uses the same expressions and its like you have to coax him to talk to you otherwise he wont talk that much. He keeps on bringing up on his one name well at least we could act like a married couple for one day I was like wtf and I went off on him telling him we are nothing like a married couple because all of this is online and he got kind of ticked about that. He has also been asking our friend like awhile back well tell her to wait for me and asks questions like if I want anymore kids and he is telling me he has no money. I know that these taurus men always put money together with something but for real why does it matter you obviously have the money to date someone else. That is what irritates me the most how they like to play headgames and you dont know what is real or not. Sometimes I feel like I am just a game to him and that he really doesnt have feelings and I am just there for him when he gets bored. I dont know whether to stay put and deal with this or move on for real my heartaches terribly I feel so deeply for him unlike any other its like the moment I met him he was so familiar and it was strange. He always used to stare at me before we met he even did it somewhat afterwards flirting w his eyes and it gave me chills down my spine the way he used to look at me. He thinks I have other men on the side for some reason as well and he goes on about that all the time because I get on yahoo and talk to other men he is like well why dont you just go into a chatroom and find someone. I mean seriously is that what this is all about double standards for real you got yourself a girlfriend and you are getting pissy with me because I do what I do…… it doesnt make any sense. I flat out called him a player and he goes on about how he has been honest with me and how is he playing me if he has told me everything……wtf for some reason though like you said Mia he keeps on coming back. I am just not happy about this because it has been going on for so long I met him last april or so and I told him I liked him in august and since then this is what has happened I dont even talk to the real him anymore I got ticked off one day and I was tired of all the games I told him not to look at me contact me nothing he could have what he wanted and I said goodluck to ya ever since then I have not heard from him exept from aliases on yahoo. Not sure what to do anymore but goodluck with your men ladies!!!!!!!!!!!!

  1108. #1108 by Jane on February 16, 2010 - 8:59 pm

    Mia, lioness, Tari, Lionsroar

    Hello to you all, I realise you all have so much going on with your guys and it isnโ€™t like me at all to read your posts and not respond so I ask you bare with me, I know we all in this together.

    I donโ€™t know what you ladies will think of this, you may think I am making a mountain out of nothing but believe me something just isnโ€™t right!!

    As I said in my last post, Valentines day was a washout for me. I think I expected a little more than I got!! I know I wasnโ€™t the only disappointed lady here, I couldnโ€™t complain as we โ€˜friends!!!!!
    Anyway Valentines evening I text him, asked how is day went ect, he called me few minutes later and said he been โ€˜strandedโ€™ as trains delayed (this was 3hours after shops would have closed) so my mind now thinking things it shouldnโ€™t seeing as he said he going shopping!!! (was he on a date?) I never thought that before.
    I must admit I seemed โ€˜offโ€™ with him on the phone and cut him short saying โ€˜ok, let you go and get your trainโ€™. I could tell by his voice he was not expecting that from me. Ladies, I was just so fed up, he had made no effort to spend any time with me the whole weekend and I was now thinking is there someone else!!??
    So this is where I am up to, it is now Tuesday evening and I havenโ€™t heard from him since!! I text him this afternoon just, hi how are you, donโ€™t know if anything wrong but been thinking of you and hope you okโ€™. He never replied!!!!!!!

    Ladies of course I have had similar experience before with him, BUT NOT LIKE THIS!!! This is truly different. In the beginning he has delayed contact by a day or two but not now he has not done this, I am worried for a few reasons:
    At this stage he hasnโ€™t usually ignored me,
    He has been distant most of last week, text 1xday not usual 2/3xday (work issues mostly) I just supported him and he was glad of that.
    Has he met someone else?
    Why is he avoiding me/ignoring me?
    Maybe his feelings are deepening for me and he is trying to sort things for himself?
    Since xmas and up until last week we where becoming soooo close, connected.
    I just donโ€™t know what to think. I have been thinking, ok so maybe he just slowing things down ect, thatโ€™s all well and good but he NEVER ignores a text unless late at night and he been asleep. Something isnโ€™t right??? I know all of us ladies experience the crazy antics of the bull in very similar ways, he has changed towards me this past week and I feel so confused to what is happening and I need your help. PLEASE!

    Please donโ€™t think I am over exaggerating here, I donโ€™t want to make a drama out of nothing coz I am well aware of the Taurus crazy ways believe me and I know deep in my heart something isnโ€™t right and I donโ€™t know what to do!!????

    I suppose there is not much I can do as I text this afternoon and he hasnโ€™t responded.
    This is upsetting me so much coz he hasnโ€™t done this since the very early stages when we just met. Please tell me what you ladies think. My friend tells me she thinks he is stringing me along and has no intentions of committing to me, I am not sure I believe that, I know him, his vulnerability and caution and I also know that I am the best thing to ever happen to him, I am real, genuine he hasnโ€™t had that before. I know in my heart he feels it too, BUT the truth is he has been real hurt and because of that fear is taking over. If that is the case then I am lost coz it has to be his choice right!!??

    I am sorry that went on a bit, I just know (as crazy as it sounds) that you wonderful woman, understand, you get it and in a bizarre way I have got kinda close to you all!! Just getting sentimental there!!!

    Thank you x

  1109. #1109 by saggi girl on February 16, 2010 - 9:03 pm

    hi ladies,

    belated happy valentines’ day to you all..i have been busy to find a place to move into temporarily before i buy my own place..it has been hard with signing a temporary lease..

    haven’t been able to catch up the post.. but will do. i feel all of the drama you all are going through and sometimes i am still experiencing that. I saw mine on valentines’s day and had a lunch together.. i got him a card and he got me some chocolate.. but not much.

    we had a little drama on that day because he does not like the way i was checking apartment through online.. he was yelling at me like a monster for putting myself in danger through some unreliable online posting.. he told me that he does not feel sorry for yelling at me as if something i did wrong by any chance, i could have 2nd chance but something was not gonna give me 2nd chance if i was not careful enough… i cried hard as he was really angry.. then he went with me to check the place that i decided to move into after 2 weeks hunting.. then he went in and interviewed everyone in the family even including like” what time you guys go to bed, was it quite after 10pm? she needs to sleep after 10pm.. blah blah..( i wanna rent a room out of that family),.. i felt so embarrasing standing by his side, then he asked the owner who else lives here, they said that there is a guy who just recently moved in, then he said that he needs to talk to him.. then the owner called him out.. he asked a few questions like” what do you do for a living?” ” how long you stay here and why you stay that short time?” then they chat a little bit, then he told the guy ” well, i just want to make sure that my girlfriend was safe living here…blah blah..” then we left, he told me that i shouldn’t live here as it was not worth the money that i am going to pay for a room and he does not trust the people in the house..he can not believe that i want to live there.. i need to grow up and be responsible for myself… you know, when they are mad, they are mean.. then he was mad and yelling at me again for being picked up by a stranger guy to check his apartment that he posted online.. I cried again…God, that day was full of drama..

    then we went back to my place, he asked me to buy newspaper to check the classified and call leasing agency for help… but i still can feel that he was angry at me for not being careful.. then i cried again.. he hold me and apologized for being hard on me.. then he told me that he will go home to pick up something and will come back in an hour to stay with me for over night to make sure that i will be ok…

    well, next day.. he left for work and told me to contact leasing agency. he said that he does not care if i need to spend a few hundred dollars more but safety is the priority.

    I think he does care but when he yelled at me like a monster, i got lost.. then he told me that he would not be yelling at me like that if he does not care…well, that is my dramatic valentines’ day.. i almost cried my eye out.. sometimes, i felt that he was like my dad..

  1110. #1110 by Jane on February 16, 2010 - 10:06 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hey great you are back!!! I was wandering where you had got too!!!! Lol

    You and your bull make me laugh!! (even though donโ€™t feel like laughing right now!)

    You both sound like you both been married 50 years!! LOl you are both so great!1

    Saggi girl, I realise you both have had your fair share of ups and downs like couples do, but hey, you clash, you meet, you unite, you respect, you come together and I love hearing how things are for you both, you give me inspiration, you and jess have history and its โ€˜realโ€™.
    I am glad you are back!
    You do sound like you have been real busy, exciting to, oh except when Taurus got on one Hee hee, I know what you mean bout sounding like your dad!! Goodness!! He sooooo overprotective, hey and you wouldnโ€™t have it any other way right!!?? Lol

    Saggi girl, I realise how upset you where but I think your guy so so cute looking out for you like that, interviewing everyone, checking them out!! He making sure his girl is going to be safe there without him!!! Wow I am impressed!! Yes, he did go about it the wrong way, I agree, but hey, the intention was there right!!??

    Saggi girl, please give me you idea on my situation, I feel so low, confused and really donโ€™t know what to do right now.
    So crazy!!!!!

    Hey, so glad you are back x

  1111. #1111 by Lioness on February 16, 2010 - 10:16 pm

    Hi girls!!!
    Jane well I think you should leave him one more message asking telling him that you are concerned about him and that he hasnt gotten back with you and you would like to know what is going on….. If he doesnt respond then let him be I know it will be hard but if he likes you that much as you say he does then he will come back I am thinking that maybe you got to close to him and he is giving you a little push back. Just keep at it and don’t give up on him. Saggi girl that is just the taurus trait he is being overly protective of his goods lol Am sorry that he was that harsh about it maybe you can talk to him about it and tell him that hey I know you are concerned about my wellbeing but you dont have to scream and yell at me to get your point across.Tell him you are a lady and you deserve to be treated like that and not someone screaming like a wildman. It is nice though that he is that protective of you I think that is good and at least you know he cares alot about you and to see about your safety. My taurus man is busy pretending to be someone else and I think the guilt is getting to him he says he likes me alot and the more I tell about myself the more he likes me. He was also going on about how women are so much better than flirting than men and he is trying to be cautious because he doesnt want to drive me away by coming on too strong or not enough he is doing such a great job too knows how to make me feel comfortable and at ease and we seem to share everything in common from thoughts to music we like. He also likes the women to be feminine wearing nail polish and doing their hair and makeup and his favorite is a red dress or a black one lol these men love beauty and I love it it makes me want to dress up just for him!!!! They also like strong willed and independent women and one that says what is on their minds they find it sexy and attractive. He sure knows how to keep this lion tamed that is for sure I dont know how he does it but I like it…… and I like that he doesnt take any of my crap and dishes it right back I find it very thrilling and it makes me like him even more. These men are definite keepers if you stumble across the right one they are for sure worth waiting for.

  1112. #1112 by saggi girl on February 16, 2010 - 10:45 pm

    hi Jane,

    i read your story and sorry to hear there are some dramas going on recently.

    i think that your situation was like mine before after a year dating when he refused to give me the title as his girlfriend.. he always tells me that he was not ready for a relationship.. so we were just dating like a couple but without title attached, which was just like your situation. but i demanded like i have the title. so, we spent all the holiday together with my demand, i do not care if he thinks that i over demanded his time, he could say “no” but does not hurt to ask for his time when it comes to holiday. sometimes, he would say” oh, i got to do something, or i am not sure if i will have time.” but i would think like” if you wanted to date me, then you have to give me the time.” Jane, do not fall into the trap like” oh, we are just friend, i can not demand his time to be with me as we are just friend… do not ever think like that. you talked like a couple and were together like a couple, then you were a couple but it was just not being titled yet.”
    it was just a simple math: if you want to spend time with him, asked him if he can do it. i used to be always mentioning holidays to him even a long time before, then he was like” well, it was too early to mention that….” then i was like” i know, i was just like to think ahead about the holidays.. i think we should do something about it..” sometimes, you need to be thick skinned when it comes to something you need…

    If i were you, i would ask him how he spent his valentines day, what did he do? well, ask in a casual way.. then if he did not say anything specifically, then you can say like” well, i got you a small gift and thought we would spend time together, well, i guess i have to save it for next year., Laugh..” then wait and see how he responds…

    Jane, it was so normal how he responds..FOR SURE, it happened to me before.. they are just strange and insensitive sometimes…mine did not responde to all my texts unless it is important..it still pissed me off..

    Going forward, just be firm and demand the time for date.. i read a post long time ago when i was going crazy looking for answer, a lady who married to a taurus said that she was always making sure that she was polite and dressed nicely when going on a date with his taurus, then after a date, she will asked for another one… another one after another one in a feminie and polite way.. until the date becomes routine..

    sometimes, we do need to initiate the romance.. do not be shy..Jane, you can do it.. do not over analyze his act and just ask him.. they are very straightforward, if he knows you care, he will let you know.. but do not act dramatic..

    Hugs and kisses to you..

  1113. #1113 by Jane on February 16, 2010 - 10:59 pm

    Lioness and Saggi girl

    Thank you so much for your response to me, I have so many tears running down my face as I read the lovely words you say to me.
    I have not ever felt this low with him, I do not understand how he ignores me this way and not before. This is new.
    My eyes are stinging with all the upset, I will respond to you in the morning.
    Thank you I mean that from my heart. Big hugs too. xx

  1114. #1114 by Lioness on February 17, 2010 - 12:35 am

    Jane
    It will get better for you and he will come around I am most positive. I know exactly how you feel I felt like crying the other day and I just couldnt get the tears to come out on Valentines Day the thought of him spending with another girl who I know in my heart will not work out. I just have these strong feelings and I know where you are you are hurt with him doing these things to you as in ignoring you and so on. But I am most positive you will reap the rewards sooner than you think I think that he is just trying to get some time to himself to sort things out and a life with you that is how most taurus men are they put money with everything and he is probably wanting to get everything in order you never know. Goodluck!!!!

  1115. #1115 by Jess on February 17, 2010 - 12:59 am

    Jane,

    Saggi girl is so right! Please try not to take it to yourself their insensitivity and ignorance. I do recall also how my guy used to text me something like that sort of ‘I’m out walking bla bla bla’ and I thought to myself if you are that available why not asking to meet up with me…

    Taurus men are not big fan of special seasons. Not at all! Valentines to them is perhaps nothing more than just another day. Jane, the pattern of him texting/calling everyday is not typical Taurus thing and I believe it will calm down once he feels your are settled (ie you getting less text/call or longer to get response).

    Oh and saggi girl is absolutely right about NEVER buy that ‘we are just friend’ line. It’s just there for them to fool themselves and to guard over their heart in case thing don’t work out so they can again fool/convince themselves they don’t get hurt.

    Get rest, sleep more and try to freshen up yourself with any therapy that works with you (mine is shopping…LOL)

    Saggi girl,

    Your drama is funny this time! lol. (sorry for laughing) I’m sure it was not funny at all for you that moment and I feel for you and totally relate it well. I recall myself couple times crying like mad when he yelled at me like monster…hehe (hell i even think to myself how on earth he can turn into such a monster and i must call it over because he is too scary!!!)

    I’m running late to work now, got to run and will come back to catch up with the rest later.

    Everyone, please take care.

  1116. #1116 by Mia on February 17, 2010 - 4:21 am

    Tari,
    Ur guy is doing what my taurus would do too if we were back on that level, we already went through that level. lol. if you can try to understand just a bit, it is kind of endearing. he is way more crazy for you than you can begin to realize.

    if you like him at all and wish he would start coming around more and taking u more serious, when it feels he is not, please stick with it and try to answer his phone calls (except at 2 am), texts, etc

    he truly likes you but thinks you may have some guys on the side since he heard you prince charming tone thingee. oh he is trying so hard in his insecure way to feel u out because he is crazy for you it seems to me.

    if u want a chance with him, swallow ur anger at him, know it is so hard, smile, be happy send him happy thoughts and reassure him that it wasn’t another guy. sounds like he already knows what a catch you are or he would not be pursuing you.

    mine did that exact thing early on. but i figured he would not keep coming around after telling me to call him, then not picking up, but then he appears out of his foxhole to initiate. it was like he was testing me to check to see if i was still interested in him. sounds like he is doing this to you.

    now he is showing signs he is very into me, it is very nice and refreshing. i almost did not hold out, but my guy i knew would come around after a while, he did and in my case, he is so worth it. he’s adorable and i’m crazy for him. (he doesn’t iknow this, ha, but my actions tell him, i’m liking him just a bit, smile ๐Ÿ™‚

  1117. #1117 by Mia on February 17, 2010 - 4:52 am

    Lioness,
    Read both ur posts. Before I read ur last one, i was going to tell u to hang in there, becuz i can so tell ur guy seems crazy for u. now from reading ur second post, u just confirmed it. remember, those alias’ u talk to knowing it’s him, well he knows you know it’s him too, lol. and i can tell u it sounds much like mine now and my last taurus guy. ironically, i met and fell for the taurus guy i have now! lol (long story about the break up, but i’m very happy with my taurus now…)

    hang in there, mine very much likes when i dress up for him. yes about the hair, nail polish etc. and we have a lot of the same interests too.

    remember, taurus guys’ perceptions are very different from ours, or mine is… so was my last taurus. what they think are silly and are not a big deal, we do take serious and they are a big deal. i don’t think he thinks it is a big deal about the alias thingee and i also think he may find it intriging that you know he knows, and he is doing it because it is another fun way to get to know you, another way to stay connected to you but behind a shell, because him thinking you are dating others makes him feel he can’t make you as happy as the others, especially now you see from ur mutual friend he is low on finances now. and he is dating a gal that he is not serious with, because he is saving up on the side and buying more time to be with the one he is now finding he really wants to be with. i know, money doesn’t mean much to me, it’s time with the person. but guys and especially taurus’ want to provide for the woman they take seriously.

    remember mine has not bought me one gift or been romantic with me at all, yes very much intimate, and even went out valentines’ day weekend but he did not acknowledge the holiday, still has hardly spent a dime on me, we staying at my house… lol, but he’s worth it. hang in there Lioness!!! you’re doing fine… smile and remember what u perceive as games, he does not at all, even the aliases, deep down he only wants to be with you, but wants and it’s very hard for them to communicate, so they retreat. smile, be happy, observe and know he really adores and respects you beneath what u see on the outside.

  1118. #1118 by Mia on February 17, 2010 - 5:39 am

    Saggi girl,
    Hang in there! Mine did the same thing just barely a month after I met him. He wanted to take me to the truck lot to look at trucks and I bought a model just like his. i was already in the market for another SUV, but always did want a truck. He became a monster yelling at the sales guy over one quarter! lol, i was embarrassed, and he went on and on and on and on… he was in their face, making sure i got the absolute best deal and to throw in a complimentary oil change for me and for him since he is a great customer and bought his truck from there. lol…

    and my last taurus practically tossed me out of his home, yelling at me like a monster too. I was like Jess, I could not believe he, the man that loved me could have such hatred and venom screaming at me, it was terrible. i was crying uncontrollably in front of him, i was deeply hurt emotionally by him.

    but that guy lasted over 14 months later, we dated for 2 yrs and oh he knew i was the one the second i met him, he showered me with romance, flowers, candies, etc. we were to be married. (again long story)…

    and even my guy now, when we went camping last summer, we would banter back and forth, and everyone around seriously thought we were married! lol, they said we sound like an old married couple, lol too hilarious.

    my guy would have done the exact same thing, he would have scolded me for looking up online, and would have ‘interrogated” the family to ensure for safety reasons, etc.

    that is his way of showing how much he cares and loves you so….

    xoxoxo
    mia~

  1119. #1119 by Mia on February 17, 2010 - 6:13 am

    Jane,

    i think once you sit back and let it go, he will be back. he already knows how you feel about him.

    and don’t you let your beautiful mind run away with negative thoughts. so what if he is dating someone else, remember, mine did that… that did not last too long…. one week! please as much as it hurts, don’t u let rule your emotional health, you already said, you are the best thing that has ever happened to him as you understand his past hurts and you are there for him. he will miss you, but allow him time to miss you without much contact… because the more he is removed from u, the more he has time to miss you in his mind and that is when his attraction for you goes up and he builds up missing you more than ever and comes back more romantic than ever.

    in his mind, you may not be friends, you may be way more, but in my case and for me, i am just now maybe considering us a bit more than friends. but i still treat him as a friend only until he makes a move to be romantic with me, a gift, something where he “gestures” we are a couple.

    remember, cave away because you win both ways! when he comes out, you will have to peel him off u, he will want you in the worst way… lol and even if he is hiding out in his cave working on his job stuff (which takes precedence so he can look towards the future to provide for you…) or even dating someone else ( i do not think he is… ) then he will miss you more than ever, and if it is a date, then he is finding out more than ever that you are the one indeed! because she isn’t anything near, she does not compare on any level with what he has in you, a drop dead gorgeous, simply luchious, most beautiful gal he has ever laid eyes on and may even not feel obligated in some way to even be with such a beautiful woman…

    ah, you need to relax and take comfort in that if you get busy, happy happy busy, and the next time he calls, pick up non-chalently and just say hi and let him do the explaining talking whatever…. then you can tell him what fun things you’ve been working on, and when he says he misses you, then you say, I may have been missing you just a bit too… ๐Ÿ˜‰

    when you stay very calm, and busy, like a beautiful calm, happy busy gal, then he will say to himself, “wow, she is so sweet to miss me, but not putting a bunch of pressure on me, wow, she is a dream girl, i want her more than ever now….”

    when you have a calm, happy,inviting, supportive demeanor which you already have, it sends him a message that your the woman of his dreams because you don’t freak if he goes a few days without contacting him.

    jess is right, he will slow down and he will think you hung the moon if you can go a few days without freaking out when he doesn’t message you. yes jess is also right about the holdiays… as i said in one of my posts above, for my guy, so calendar date will dictate when he sends flowers or candy to the one he loves. as a matter of fact, he won’t even go there, just because of that… saggi girl, you may be right about your guy, but my guy does just the opposite when i ask him or have demanded time, whatever… he does the exact opposite being highly oppositional and i also notice that looses a bit of respect from me… otherwise, when i keep to myself, he doesn’t see pressure and he initiates more.

    your cycle i’m noticing is setting urself up for hurt. i so went through that. with each text he did not reply to, my resentment, anger and hurt built up, so what did i do? i sent another, then he did not reply, and it became a cycle?

    did i feel better each time i sent a text? nope. did i loose respect for myself, yes. it made me feel needy and i am soooo not a needy person. so i stopped the cycle and slowly the balance shifted and now he initiates the contact and it is more often because i don’t text him first. yup and from reading in my book, the guy wants to do for you, initiate and he wants you to do as little work as possible…. i know it is so hard when you want to cook for them, see how they are doing, etc. and i used to try to stay one step ahead by wanting to do all these things, but guys seem to loose interest when you do that… so with this relationship i am in, i stopped, those things only brought me resentment. and it smothered him, like a mama, too nurturing, he wants to do most all the work and when you become official boyfriend / girlfriend, you can slowly do more things for him….

    much love and hugs jane!!! xoxoxo
    mia~

  1120. #1120 by Capricorn lady on February 17, 2010 - 10:24 am

    Well what Mia said is kinda right ..

    When i started not texting him back afther he texted an awnser to mine (i usuly text him back as last)

    He started to text me the day afther instead of nothing ..
    And i awserd short but sweet afther i wated one our t text him back and afther that he texted the first time he missed me the day afther ..

    So i,m slowly changing the way i text him and wil see what happens this is now day 3 of me not texting him again ..

    So i,ll keep you updated ..
    O yes forgot to say that he did text me sunday to say thank you for the good time and the sweet present and he called me sweetheart ..

    I replied your welcome you deserve it all it came right from my heart and thats it so it,s his turn again ..

    love and peace ..

    keep it up ..

    Mia knows what she is saiyng so lets see what happens with mine ..

  1121. #1121 by Capricorn lady on February 17, 2010 - 12:39 pm

    This article is called ;Win the heart of the Taurus ..

    The earthy Taurus guy has a settled nature, and often is a man of few words. He takes everything in, though it may take awhile. His rhythm may seem slow, and he’s resistant to changing his mind or his routine. Once he’s fixed on you, he’s going to embed you in his world. He’ll likely be a loyal mate who has security on his mind. He makes an ideal provider, cuddly father and sensual lover. He’s definitely marriage material.

    A key to making this work is understanding that he’s not going to change….the fix is in. He’s a fixed sign that has a stubborn streak about his likes and dislikes. If you’re restless and an excitement junkie, he’s an immovable force that has no spontaneity. If you’re in the market for a steady guy to share life’s sensual pleasures with, he’s your man.

    In some ways, he’s the true caveman guy who needs his creature comforts, gadgets and guilty pleasures. He’s a Man’s Man who enjoys being outdoors, even if its just hanging on the porch of the sport’s bar with the fellas.

    Taurus is Venus ruled, and this is a man soothed by beauty. He may have gifts working with his hands as a craftsman or his voice, like Taurean Bono Vox (“good voice.”) He tends to go for the natural and feminine. Curves are a plus, as are showing them off with cottony or tactile fabrics that are organic to the touch. Some languid moves, like the long slow hair flip, catch his eye. He’s got a heightened animal instinct, and will respond to subtle body language. He’ll appreciate rhythmic sashaying, or seductive dining. And all this can go on without having to say a word.

    You’ve probably heard that Taurus has a refined palate. If you’re trying to impress a Taurus guy, cook him an artful meal. That means taking the time to sautee the onions first, then the green peppers…timing everything to enhance the flavors. And show that you value quality by spending a little extra on the wine. Make it a long multi-course taste extravaganza that he won’t soon forget.

    Show the Taurus man that you’re a lover of earthly pleasures. Be sure to have something aromatic on the stove or in the oven when he swings by. Learn the art of partner massage, and give him lots of hugs and reassuring back rubs.

    The Taurus man is known as a simple guy. He’ll recoil from having “the talk” about where you stand and what he’s feeling. You can decipher how it’s going by how much he’s integrating you into his life. If he didn’t think you were worthy, he probably wouldn’t bother.

    It’s also crucial to be straightforward, and resist playing mind games. Sometimes it’s tempting to generate interest by making the guy jealous, but it’ll backfire with him. If he suspects he’s being played, you’ll see the rage of the Bull…then he’ll be gone. The bottom line is to avoid trying to jar him awake with drama. He’s best suited to someone that accepts and appreciates his calm, steady ways. Like all guys, he wants to be loved for who he is. If you’re able to go with the mellow flow, and share life’s simple pleasures with a steadfast mate, he’s the one for you.
    ————————————————————————-

    Well this is realy my guy with al his ways ..

    love and peace

  1122. #1122 by Jess on February 17, 2010 - 2:22 pm

    Mia you are right, I read your posts and seem like you really read Taurus guy! The ‘we are friend’ status is a bit tricky when you get involved with Taurus guys because they will never make it clear to you either you are friends or what. So we feel like being played and being abused of for sex… The way I look at it is that they will never jumped in any conclusion with you until they are really sure, but by the time they are sure you don’t need it status anymore because all the time the action have said and proved it all.

    Though I know my Taurus guy is not making any big plan about us in the future but just taking it day by day. But I really do hope he is set with me (meaning he is content to me with no interest in exploring other options and keep on his life with me in it) because now he (forcefully) involves me in many areas of his life including work.

    Jane, Mia is right about the painful cycle where you keep constant contact by text/phone with Taurus guy but when he started to withdraw or slow down you become trapped and needy, so when you not getting what you always have, you feel hurt and text him more, but he didn’t reply everytime… then you doubt something is wrong. Don’t fall in that cycle, you need to balance and take control of the contact pattern you can handle.

    I also agree with Mia about demanding Taurus for time or anything. With my guy I never demanded BUT I let him know what I like and want and let him do the demanding. So most of the time he will be the one who ask to meet, ask for a trip, ask me to join him and his friends.

    I don’t want to demand but let him lead so he feels like he takes charge, as a man. Besides i would only get disappointed if i do the asking… because it either Taurus way or no way. Another reason is that, by not demanding you keep him in wonder how much you are into him. They are so used to have women around and wanting to spend time with him. My guy said many times something like ‘oh you never ask me out unless i ask first?’ ‘you really don’t want to see me more than once a week?’ I gave him nice and sweet reply but keep the pattern the same, if the pattern will ever changed (us seeing each other more often or being more involved) it will be initiated by HIM! Of course I want more but this is Taurus the bull we are talking about, so I need to have him confess it out his love/need/desire to move anything forward with me because I know that is from his heart and is the SURE thing!

  1123. #1123 by Jess on February 17, 2010 - 2:36 pm

    I re-read my post and hope I make sense. Jane and the ladies who are having a hard time with Taurus guys now please try to sit back a bit and relax a bit. Don’t set yourself a trap and be influenced by every moves Taurus make. They are naturally fix having their OWN WAY to life.

    I need to get some sleep soon, I’m so running out of energy!

  1124. #1124 by Jane on February 17, 2010 - 3:24 pm

    Hey ladies, hope you all ok

    Thank you all so much for your support, it means so much to me.
    There are times when I feel like I am going mad, or want to shout from the roof tops!!
    I come here instead and find you all here with your unconditional support; we all connected by the same thing!! TAURUS MEN!! GRRRR! Lol

    To update you:

    Well Lioness I took your advice and text him this a.m, I just said hi, are you ok, I am worried about you and donโ€™t understand why you are ignoring me blah blah.
    He text back straight away and said โ€˜I would never ignore you in a million yearsโ€™!
    I text back and said โ€˜but you have ignored me and I donโ€™t think it is fare, I am glad you are ok but could you tell me if something is wrong?
    He text and said, โ€˜I have not ignored you, I have not heard from you for a couple of days, I was giving you spaceโ€™ then he told me about news he had with work and other things ect. I reminded him I text yesterday and he didnโ€™t answer!! He apologised and said he didnโ€™t recall getting a text!!?? Yeah right, he recalled for sure!! MY GOD how ironic, he was giving ME space!!! Lol Also I realise that we both waiting for the other to get in touch!!! LOL How funny!! Sounds like we both feeling insecure.

    Ladies, what am I like!!????? Donโ€™t answer that! Lol This guy has me going crazy for nothing; I need to get a grip!! Lol Something has deffinatly seemed different, I have felt it.
    Anyway we text some more, I told him I have missed him and that he has seemed so far away for past week and I have respected his space and then Saggi girl I took your advice, TOOK THE BULL BY THOSE HORNS OF HIS! Hee, hee
    I told him I want to see him, I want us to spend time together, I have felt out the loop and it is horrible.
    He text and said for the first time everโ€ฆโ€ฆI have missed you too!!! OMG!!! Loving it, it was great to hear that from him, Jess and Saggi girl I think you are right about the โ€˜friendsโ€™ thing/status being bullshit and I realise as things settle between us both and he gets comfortable his crazy on off contact will change again LOL (oh boy!)

    He also text and said โ€˜yes we can spend lots of time together that will be good and he said โ€˜I am looking forward to it alreadyโ€™. Maybe I will reap the rewards sooner than I think as you said Lioness, maybe he getting things in order. I hope you are right.
    We are seeing each other Saturday and we both said we canโ€™t wait!!!

    I know these Taurus guys have their own โ€˜bullโ€™ issues and I think on some level, insecurities too. Mine for sure is very insecure (me too at times) and its so true how they test you all the time.
    I am hoping that this situation with my guy turns out to be a positive influence over us both, brings us closer with honesty and understanding of how we feel. I have not wanted to push things, I think now I have the go ahead to โ€˜pushโ€™ alittle!

    Lioness, Saggi girl, Mia, Jess, Capricorn lady, Tari and Lionsroar your imput, support and words of wisdom go a long long way!! Thank you xxx

  1125. #1125 by saggi girl on February 17, 2010 - 3:38 pm

    Jane,

    I agree with Jess and Mia in certain ways especially that you need to sit back and relax a bit especially right now..

    Comparing with my past, you are way much better than what i went through before…but one thing i am sure is that they will not in touch with you if he does not think of you as the potential, but the thing is that they will not clarify until they are ready or they are sure…

    I have a lot of ups and downs with my bull, everyone here especially Jess knows my story when my bull told me that he did not love me when i pushed for answera year ago..then i did not contact him for over 3 weeks and i thought it was over for both of us…and was already started meeting with another guy to distract myself from the pain…nothing is worse than the guy you loved and stayed with for a year told you that he did not love you… but what happened after that? 3 weeks without any contact from my part… as i have my own dignity and i respect myself… then he contacted me and asked why i did not call him… ( could you believe it? how insentive he is to ask this question after he hurted me with his do-not-love-you answer.)…then we saw each other again and i did not ask that question again but when he left , i was washing the cup in the kitchen, then he walked into the kitchen and hold me from the back tightly like a baby for a few minutes and told me that he missed me a lot seriously..actually i got goose bump when he did that.. as it really surprised me on that day.

    Jane, i think they have a soft heart even though they yelled like a monster sometimes up to a point that you wanted to slap his face( i wanted to do it for a few times), but i guess they have a strange way to suck us back into their arm.. I know my guy was not playing a game with me and i am for sure now. he was still not much volunteerily saying” i love you”, but when i ask, he will say it.. i think they are not good at expressing their feeling, well, i think it might be a thing for man in general, and they are the extremes.

    I guess i am just a drama queen, and i always asked if he dated another girl before he gave me the title.. then he told me that he will let me know if he dated someone else and expect the same from me if i dated someone else… one time after a short break for 2 weeks with out contact, we were back to talk and he said” there are so many beautiful girls out there, but when you talked to them, they just do not have the things you are looking for.” then i asked if i have things he was looking for, then he said” of course, that is why we are still talking after too many dramas you gave me..” Jane, could you get a point out of this… he was still interested in you, otherwise, he will be gone long time ago…it was not hard for them to find a woman because of their crazy bull charm, LOL

    hang in there, Jane..do not send message or initiate any contact for now until he comes back to you… you will be ok…patience.. patience… as for demanding time with your bull that i suggested, it might not work with your bull but it does work with my bull.. as i was thick skinned.. LOL

    hugs.. no tears on your beautiful face..

  1126. #1126 by Jane on February 17, 2010 - 3:42 pm

    Jess

    Hi Jess, I have just read your post, I do understand what you say and you do make sense. I will say though where it is difficult for me where the โ€˜contact thingโ€™ is an issue, is coz we not โ€˜officialโ€™ yet, I want him to know my interest but I donโ€™t want to always be the one to initiate. In the whole 9months (if I recall correct!) he has only ever initiated 1 time to meet!! So if I left it to him it would never happen!!

    I think it may be to do with his insecurity, fear of rejection, testing if I into him, who knows.
    Jess, how can I get him to initiate then, all by himself? What should I be doing so he leads things coz I know its how they like it. I feel my guy likes me to initiate as that way he knows I wnt to see him coz this a.m in text I asked we spend more time together and this Saturday too, he jumped at it like he waiting for me to ask/say it!!

    Bless you jess, you must get some sleep x

  1127. #1127 by Jane on February 17, 2010 - 3:46 pm

    Jess

    Just to add, in 9months he has never said โ€˜noโ€™ to meeting up, he has never cancelled or not turned up. He has been late every time though!! Lol

    So its not that he doesnโ€™t want to meet, he just doesnโ€™t initiate!! Fixed for sure!!

  1128. #1128 by saggi girl on February 17, 2010 - 3:51 pm

    Jane,

    hahahahaha… my heart was dancing.. so happy for you..

    When you want to see him and tell him, that is my way of doing things. i was just not good at hiding my feelings and do not know how to play hard to get. in order to move things forward, one person has to take the lead.. if he is too slow, then you take the lead. i am not saying to rush into anything seriously before they are ready, that part can not be pushed, my history proved it.. hehehe, but you need to spend time together in order to move things forward… do not need to be shy about.

    Glad that you are ok.

  1129. #1129 by Jane on February 17, 2010 - 4:02 pm

    Saggi girl

    Saggi girl, you are so special, so straight with what you say and I really relate to you.
    I remember your earlier posts very well and I remember the โ€˜dramaโ€™ you talk about!!
    That is why I say a few times, you and your bull been through ups and downs as couples do and he gets you, he still there. You are right and deep down I do believe he sees me in his future otherwise he wouldnโ€™t be here. I get insecure as I am still learning the โ€˜bullโ€™ ways.
    I am a โ€˜fixerโ€™ what I mean is someone upset; down ect I want to sort it out at any cost!! Doesnโ€™t bode well with a Taurus as they like to fix things for themselves! My guy knows this about me though and I always just tell him I am there if he needs me rather than wade in with both feet!!
    Thank you Saggi girl, I value your support so much. I take it you read my update, I think our posts overlapped. It is feeling good right now. I hope it continues. Big hugs to you xx

  1130. #1130 by Jess on February 17, 2010 - 4:09 pm

    Jane!

    Glad you are back with a cheerful spirit!

    Now this is a bit funny and is opposite to mine that your case you always the one who initiate while he NEVER said no or cancel or stood you up! LOL. Jane, I NEVER said no (only 1 or 2 times when I really can’t) to my guy either and Jane you can tell right? that it is becauseause I really want to be with him to see his face that I don’t want to miss any chance that he ask me out. My respond say it all… same with your guy i guess.

    Jane if it doesn’t bother you so much and is good that way then perhaps keep it that way? ๐Ÿ˜‰ You can turn this so that the ball is in your hand because if in the future you stop or wait it long to initiate thing, then he knows something is up ๐Ÿ˜‰ We are here to seek advice and support each other but we know have our own way to dealing with Taurus men. You know best what work with your guy.

    Look like I’m staying up late to work tonight… I will check back with you ladies tomorrow then.

    Take care everyone.

  1131. #1131 by Jane on February 17, 2010 - 4:12 pm

    Saggi girl

    Oh how funny!!! Thank you, you are so sweet My heart is dancing too!! Hee hee!!!
    Yes I am like you, if I wan to see him I have to tell him coz he sure aint doing it!1 So when I read your post saying that I thought, right thatโ€™s what I must try! He seems to have gone for it for now although it hasnโ€™t happened yet so I will let you know!!

    He agreed we spend more time and to see eachother Saturday. Guess what he added to the end of thatโ€ฆโ€ฆ I will have to let you know about what time though!!! Lol He has to have his control in there somewhere!! Goodness!!!
    Thank you again my sweet Saggi girl x

  1132. #1132 by Jess on February 17, 2010 - 4:17 pm

    saggi girl!

    you are our little drama queen ๐Ÿ˜‰ LOL! I remember your dramaS in the past (my favorite is the cockroach episode hehe!)

    I for one enjoy and feel for your drama even some of them I don’t agree with you but it makes me see that your guy must be sincere and taking you serious to be putting up with fluctuated (lovely) female hormone over and over (hehehe sorry for the joke…)

    Please excuse my humor, blame it all on Taurus guy!

  1133. #1133 by Jane on February 17, 2010 - 4:23 pm

    Jess

    Thank you Jess, I feel ok with it although would be nice to hear him ask me to meet sometimes but for now I will do it and see how that goes, I hear what you say about keeping ball in my court too! Like the sound of that!! Makes sense.

    If he ever changes his way and cancel, let me down ect then I will for sure tell him the reason I initiate but for now I will enjoy this as it is as you say, I want to see him, be with him see his face, just like you Jess and seems he wanting the same tooโ€ฆ.
    Catch up with you soon Jess as you really must get your sleep.
    Sweet dreams Jess x

  1134. #1134 by saggi girl on February 17, 2010 - 4:26 pm

    Jess,

    hehehehe… sorry for the drama.. i never thought that i was a drama queen until i met this bull….

    yeah, blame it all on taurus guy…

    I am glad that we have each others here… sweet dreams..

  1135. #1135 by saggi girl on February 17, 2010 - 4:27 pm

    Jane,

    you are welcome.. keep us posted… we are all here..

  1136. #1136 by Tari on February 17, 2010 - 9:52 pm

    Mia

    Hie, you are so sweet, thanks for the advice. I try to be patient but he does behave likea child. I am happy to see you are making some progress with your Taurus. Its nice to know someone is getting something out of them, it gives me hope.

    Lioness
    The Taurus man does keep coming back nomatter waht. Sometimes you feel like he is gone for good but eventually he comes back pretendng like he was never gone in the first place. I think for them it may be loyalty or something. I do worry though if they will ever get to that point of committing.

    Jane
    I totally understand what you are ging through Jane. When I started with my Taurus last year I would get sick to my stomach when he would suddenly go cold on me thinking I have lost him and maybe he is not that in to me.But he would eventually come back. I was reading another site and there was a taurus guy on there dating a libra l;ady and he said the reason they disappear is because they are mad but if you text them they may not txt back but they like it.
    I always give my taurus his space, I take it all in good stride and eventually he comes back acting guilty and stuff. I think you just ignore them right back when they do this, its hard but its the only solution for your sanity.
    I dont think its what you think is going on and if it is, you cant show him weakness. Sometimes when you show guys too much weakness they kinda take advantage of it. Just chill out and do your thing.

    I know I cant reply to all ladies on here like Lionsroar, Jesse, Saggi girl but reading your posts is enough support for me with this Taurus guy.

    Take care ladies

  1137. #1137 by Lioness on February 17, 2010 - 11:23 pm

    Sorry girls I haven’t been on that much today my uncle had a massive stroke and is in ICU on life support and they are going to unhook him tonight. Thank you Mia for your kind words because sometimes I think my taurus man doesn’t even care and it is all a game I just try to hang on to some shred of hope. I am glad Jane that things are somewhat going ok and that he was just giving you some space. Mine seems to think I have men on the side. I try to reassure him that I don’t have a boyfriend but he makes hints like well what would your boyfriend think of this and so on. But who knows he isn’t there for me when I need him the most and I can’t handle this alias stuff I need someone real and not with someone am so ready to throw in the towel and say hell with it all. I wish you girls the best with your men will check back in tomorrow or later on tonight!!!

  1138. #1138 by Lionsroar on February 17, 2010 - 11:39 pm

    Hey gals knew he wouldnt let me or you guys down.

    Yepperz.. its that time again. Now why in godess sakes would I think everything should be okay now..right? I mean please.

    Yah bad dog no biscuit! better yet BAD BULL STAY IN YOUR PASTURE AND PLAY BY YOURSELF.

    So there was an event many of us were invited to. Many were asking if I’d attend. I did the respectful thing you do when you are in a relationship.. I asked him what his plans were that evening..are we doing anything? Before I could tell him it was because I wanted to know do I RSVP ‘we’ or not..

    I got it.. Oh yes I did, what a silly little cub I’ve been.. I mean honestly girls I should have known this was coming. Why wouldnt it? Everything has been perfect. Yah Well dont poke sticks at fu##### LION!

    His reply, ‘I’m going to a show and dinner with ..blah, blah blah.” Okay I knew every blah blah blah and many of them our couples. ‘Really, I dont think you mentioned that to me’ I said in such a soothing voice.

    His reply. Can you hear it? Come on Girls listen really hard. No? Nothing? Wow Great BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT I HEARD TO…. HE DID NOT REPLY. WENT INTO SILENT MODE! HA

    So he ignored it and asked me why I wanted to know. Wow daffy girl I am .. why would I ask him about weekend plans.. So here is what I replied. Can you hear it? No? Really? Good because that is what he got silence.

    hours later I got a text where he suggested to let him no if I attend maybe he will show later if he is done with his plans at a decent hour.. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!! REALLY?.. My reply, still very sweet.. ‘oh no, much to far of a drive at that hour of the night’. hahaha

    hadnt heard a peep out of him for a day, then he ran into me (i know he went looking for me) at a place we go to.. he hung around and heard me telling one of our friend I joined them last night because my plans cancelled. The bull hung around until the end.. I gave him a hug and friend peck on the cheek and said good night. He yelled after me to call, I looked back and said not going home meeting a buddy. Which I was.

    Yep havent heard a word from him since. Is he having a melt down? I’m sure.. trashing the pasture.. you betcha!

    Too bad, he did not ask me if we had anything to do before he made plans, then he didnt invite me..and his last ditch was to say I’ll catch up maybe later. *And he’s doing that because he’s so jealous and has zero trust. Not cool..So because of his actions I had a re action and treated me as he showed he wants to be treated and did not respect his position in my life by inviting him to dinner or telling him I’d be joining a male friend.

    Bulls shouldnt play with Lions..hahahahah

    So… see you’re all perfect they’re nuts.. mine went back 6 months with the whole no communication, we’re not a couple stance he took. Out of nowhere. I think its what they have to do.. Its very liberating though, keeps me grounded and allows me the same luxury to hit the reset button. Problem is I’M WAY BETTER AT THIS THAN HE IS.

    Hope my story makes you guys feel better. And no worries I’m good with it. I’m sure he’ll show up that night and cut his evening short now after the fact.. Pitty is he’ll be wasting his time. Because I’ve made plans to be on the other side of town that evening.

    Love this game.. you move left, I move right.. Careful who you ask to dance with… They might have more moves than you..Silly little bull.
    hahaha

  1139. #1139 by Mia on February 18, 2010 - 2:59 am

    Jess, Capi,
    Yes, and thanks for letting me know my experiences are true with how you find yourself feeling with ur taurus guys too.

    Thanks Capi for your article! yes, very true, I so love the subtle, quiet way my guy fixates on me, his eyes are my heaven, he needs not say a word, his eyes and his actions when he envelopes me in his fiery passion blankets me and my soul & I feel he can equally feel the depth of my passion towards him as well. However, as Jess notes, he still will not feel the total depth of my entire passion I have for him. We haven’t even skimmed the surface, smile…

    If we ever get to boyfriend/girlfriend, he will feel more from me… if we get engaged, ooh la la will he ever get more of Mia’s wild rage of passion for him, and if we’re ever married, the heaven’s will open and you will have to peel my guy off the ceiling, I will have him panting for more, yes, that way I will hopefully never feel too cheated by my taurus or any guy that comes into my life as we go through the stages of love…

    Jess, I am so happy to have you acknowledge what I have been wrestling with all along…. at first yes I thought, “Does he think I’m some kind of cheap thrill. Use me as a friend, have his wild way with me and then become distant, but slowly peek his head out only to repeat this cycle?” Then I started feeling him eeeeever so slowly (especially after I relaxed, probably when I found you awesome guys!) ever so slowly I felt him moving towards me, and now after “reading” him so well, I do know him. After some “analysing” some of his behavior and reading his birthcharts, I’m like “ah ha!” now I know why he does that, wow, it’s the opposite of what I thought, and I was like Sally Field, “He really does like me!! He likes meeee!!!!” ha! so I relaxed and hung in there, but now resisting just a tad on the intimacy telling him we need to slow down… the slower we go, the more successful the relationship.

    so honey, i’m raring back on the reins, or trying to … I so want us to work out and now really appreciate him taking time to consider us as a couple or not. it is a new found respect for him, really. good for him. and it only helps the relationship, in the long run, because some gals may loose patience, if so, then truly they were not the right one for him anyway…

    will read more posts…. I stopped and posted this shortly after reading like two posts.

    Love to all and can’t wait to read about how everyone is doing.
    Jane, hope you’re hanging in there and will read about you shortly!

    xoxoxox mia ~
    (hey, i’ve only heard from mine once since Sunday, but i’m fine, he did text me last night from being online but by the time i responded, he had gotten off, i sensed it and wished him a great nite. and yesterday could see his sweet lil “hey” that i’ve missed on the messenger thingee… i responded when i got online tonight, “hi” that’s all, hee, hee, very short and sweet. he has been very quiet today, but it’s ok. i am not going to bible study tomorrow nite, okay so partly becuz i am still not ready to see him as he treats me in front of everyone. but he will have his truck and i will have mine saturday helping someone move, so here we go again… he will be very cut and dry and gruff, and probably head out without telling me bye or anything, but again, i don’t go out of my way to talk to him, i mirror him naturally, we are both like that. that is one thing i think he loves about me and quite frankly me about him, ha!)

  1140. #1140 by Mia on February 18, 2010 - 3:47 am

    Jess, and all our beautiful gals,
    Sorry I’m going slow here, just read the last of your post, yes yes and yes, you are so right. If we subtly reveal what we like, or in my case, i suggest things to do and he picks, and i’m like, cool choice, sounds great to me, then he feels in charge.

    i’m also finding when he’s happy, I’m happiest, ha. referring to this past Friday nite, when he kind of gets “mildly” animated when talking or does this cute sputtering thingee with his mouth, he’s in a good mood when he does that… lol…i think he is catching on to me and my laid back attitude, not making a big deal if we don’t do what we planned and yet i’m still supportive of him when we talk and even get excited for him when he tells me little things like he and his friend have a trip planned for las vegas, and i told him, cool, i hope you have a blast and know u’ll win when ur there! that shows him i am not expecting him to ask me and i’m very happy for him when he goes out with his friend (yup the friend that wants to date me, but now that he knows i ONLY want to date him and he can trust i was not conversing with him on the side or anything… i now think he is flattered that his friend was interested in me, all his friends and family like me that is very sweet, they are all super…)

    last Friday, he gets over to my house, we start watching T.V. whatever (yeah with him on opposite end of couch before we’re intimate, then back on his side no contact after we’re intimate, ha! lol) but think he appreciates me when i go with the flow. he can change his mind about going out and think he likes settling in at my house. i told him i’m happy just to rent a movie sometime and i can whip up some supper sometime… i’m trying not to make a big deal of it.

    and yes to what u say about by the time you want to talk about where you stand in relationship, of which they recoil of course, so I am NOT going to put myself in that position anymore, I’m done with it. and it only demeans me and makes me look like I’m beholding to him or something like i’m sitting around waiting on him deciding what our status is??? geez, uhhhhh… no? lol… , so no more, to the contrary, he should be the one to wonder whether me… us gals really want to be with them… yup.

    but if you relax, and be into yourself… and hold out, just going with the flow, being busy in your life and not be so “wild” for him, he loves that about us gals!!! we don’t give a hoot about his looks, [ok so maybe a little, ha] we like them for who they are on the inside, their hearts… not what car they drive, how much money they have, how gorgeously handsome they are.. (remember, he has to peel the gals off him, those taurus men, geez, but don’t you gorgeous ladies forget we are beeeutiful too and don’t think for one minute they aren’t thinking we are getting the male attention to their female attention, yessiree, smile… only today i got compliments from some of the guys i work with, ur hair is so blonde today, ‘it was because i wore all black as my top and parted my hair from the side, hee, hee, but nice compliement, my reply: “i washed it.” lol and another guy walked past me and said, “ummm black. u look great in black.” i just smile and say, thank you. i have 3 guys at work that are my ‘buddies’ that give me those compliments, ah, there married, not a biggee, but they are very sweet!

    k need to get some supper here, will read your posts Jane, Saggi girl, Lionsroar, Lioness! Love to you all !!!!
    Mia ~ xooxoxoxo
    All of you are the very best!!!!! No matter how you are feeling, please know each and every one of you are such a treasure even if your stubborn man can’t see that, we see your true beauty here and you are needed just as much as you come for support, you are needed here, we share in our sadness just as much as our happiness… love to u!

    ah, well whatdaya know he’s texing me!

  1141. #1141 by Lioness on February 18, 2010 - 5:39 am

    hello ladies,,
    These taurus men are something else!!! I just wanted someone to talk to me to be there for me and my taurus man couldn’t even do that for me too busy somewhere else or with his gf I have pretty much given up and figured all of this was just to mess with my head and just to play some games I am sure he had the gf in on it as well one never knows. I just know he doesnt have the courage or the manhood to talk to me as himself and that is what kills me the most and how he has to pretend to be other people interested in me. I havent heard from 2 of his aliases since the day before valentines day and he has just limited it down to one that I know of but still keeps the others online. I have no idea what to do anymore I feel like why should I continue the only time he really talks to me is when he is at work and then I know he is alone and he can talk I dont know I still dont trust him fully I feel like he is going to pull the rug out from under neath me at any time and he really doesnt mean what he says because it is yahoo and it is make believe. I wish you all goodluck and happiness will check back later!!!

  1142. #1142 by sadgebabe44 on February 18, 2010 - 7:58 am

    Hello Everyone!

    Just came across this blog and wanted to drop a little note…. after going through most of the comments here LOL :-). I think it’s great that there’s a blog like this to vent one’s frustrations and happy moments with a Taurean partner.

    Anyway, I’ve been interested in (my first) Taurean guy for over 2 months now and we met online; we also live in different States. We’ve been talking all the time on phone, texting sometimes and always chatting on Facebook for this period and we’ve arranged that I’ll go visit him in his State of residence in about 3 weeks. He calls me every night before he goes to sleep (sometimes in the day time duting the weekend) and we chat on Facebook at least every other day, if not everyday…. sometimes he surprises me with a call from work.

    I especially take an interest in Saggigirl’s relationship, because like her I’m also a Sagittarian who fancies a Taurean guy. I won’t go too deeply into things as it’s way too early now, but I was glad to see another Sag fem/Taurus male relationship so I just wanted to say hello to this ‘forum’ lol. It was only about a month ago that I began doing researches on SF/TM relationships and most compatibility reports aren’t looking too good. I’m just very fascinated by the male Taurus at this point that I think I’m losing my mind LOL. I may be back later to continue my posts as I embark on my journey with this Taurean. He is one VERY interesting creature, I tell you!

  1143. #1143 by Mia on February 18, 2010 - 8:16 am

    Jane,
    Good for you! u and Saggi girl know what works for your guys, but I still say that you Jane and you sweet Saggi girl can ever so softly let go and be with him, be supportive, and just rest it for a bit, he will start doing more initiating without you having to have that feeling of control that if you do not do anything, he will melt out of your life.

    i so used to be that way, especially at first, I would say, you may not have received my email but I wrote you to tell you blah blah… if i did write him it would be pretty direct about some point he needed to know, whatever.. you know friends! he would reply, oh i got it. each time… he would never reply, but when i would casually mention it in another email, he would say, i got it. lol…

    and i can assure you when i stopped i thought for sure he would melt away, but it was killing my confidence when i kept grasping on intiating all the time. now ever so slowly like jess is explaining too, the balance has shifted to him with the full brunt of the relationship. and when he could not catch me the other night, when i replied 10 minutes later he was offline, BUT i did not text his cell to say sorry i missed you LIKE I USED TO DO! because even though i would not admit it, i would miss him so badly, i would try to catch him on his cell text and say sorry i miss you, blah blah, he would sometimes reply like what you say, “oh i would never avoid you!” but then he went from that to nothing, cuz i did keep on, and it was killing me inside.

    i felt so insecure when i did that. i felt like he had all the power and that he would never reply and felt he was gone for sure, then he would come back, lol… so now, i got tired of that feeling, and i like gave up in my head, i let him go totally remember? especially when he started to date the gal? hm, i wonder why? in my case i KNOW i wasn’t helping him by initiating all the time, so when i let go of him, i let go, my control, my neediness all that insecure crap melted from me, and i found i did not need that control anymore. if he wants me, he knows where to find me, i’m done here.

    ever since then, i’ve relinquished my needy control and just let him initiate while i do my own things, my own goals, and i have much i’m very excited about with my hobbies! i am so happy doing those things on the side and lo and behold he not only came back, he is happier, and feels more calm around me, becuz he gets “0” pressure from me. or i try to put “0” pressure on him, and in my head i do still treat him as a friend….

    when i pulled back just a bit into myself, is when he is pushing in more and now he is the one that is pushing for more in our relationship, not i !! do you see the shift change here?

    he is happy, and i can tell you my self esteem is way better, i feel really good, and Jane I do feel people gravitating towards me, maybe because I love people and wish the very best for them. and he knows that i think the world of him (as a friend) and think the world of him no matter what the status if of our relationship.

    maybe he feels that no matter what I still support him, not “if you don’t wanna be with me, i hate you. but if you choose me, i will be so happy and not hate you.” lol, you see? i want the best for him regardless, of course i want the best for meself too! ๐Ÿ˜› ๐Ÿ™‚

    Relax, enjoy your time with ur taurus guy.

    The main point I would love for us all to get from these postings is that we relax in love, we love ourselves so much that we behave as if our taurus guys would treat us as queens, but, BUT remember a very important point i have learned the hard way…. to love is to give love, but respectfully, so when you give your love respectfully without asking for anything in return then that is when you start observing your guy coming around you more, NOT because YOU asked, oh no, it is because he likes being around your spirit. Because you are parallel to him, not because your smothering him with your love, to the contrary, you need to be the one peeling him off you, saying thank you to his sweet comments… but this will come when you have “0” resentment, “0” hurt… you may think you have “0” hurt and resentment from what you think your guy is doing to you… but really this has nothing to do with him, but has everything to do with what you “expect” of him…

    took me a very long time to get to this point. in the past i would have been so hurt by him not acknowledging Valentines’ Day, but either I’m really an idiot and sick, ha! or I know him totally. And I think the later is true now. And I can guarantee he senses this in me, knows this in me, and respects it in me, or he would have been long gone.

    he just asked me out tonight for the weekend, since he did not catch me last night, smile…. i did not contact him at all today. i acted happy but i wasn’t falling over myself for him, hee hee… he asked about saturday, and i said, sure, we’ll think of something to do… not a biggee, in my attitude… then i got off first, another thingee for your self esteem, said well need to get some sleep here…

    oh he asked if i was going tomorrow night to bible study!!! i said, no can’t go this week… hmmmmm… you see, he keeps trying to find ways to see me and it’s nice. we are both helping a friend from church move this weekend and he also asked me out for this weekend, he wanted to see about the 3 ways he could see me… so that is very nice….

    Jane, Saggi girl, love you both so much and I know both of you are so not drama queens, i had the attitude of both of you with my last taurus and i was either like jane, screaming inside for my guy to come around, or i was like saggi girl, he drove me to such drama!!! i allowed him to push my buttons and i was pushy and i pushed the relationship so much! it was killing me inside, both ways, it was not healthy for me, i was creating my own bi-polar, manic depressed symptoms, ha! keep finding things that you love to do like a hobby that excites you almost as much as being with him! mini little goals that you accomplish! you can and just go a couple days without initiating anything… i promise if you drop the ball, they WILL pick it up! because YOU are a catch!!!! a dream come true for your taurus guys!!!! xoxox

  1144. #1144 by Capricorn lady on February 18, 2010 - 9:04 am

    Well ok i,ve got a little update here to ..

    Yesterday he text me that he has found my sock with the words; hurray and a little kiss from him …

    (yeah i lost my sock a long time ago there when we where having some sexual fun at his place hahaha)

    So i texted back; yeeeeeey now i,m going to hang out my flag and have a party kiss back to you …

    Afther a while he text back ;Ha you,re funny

    And thats it, i did not text back again let him cave weeeeeha

    Gosh i,m getting good at this (tapping myself on my back hahahaha)

    I,m actualy having fun with the knowledge that he is thinking of me being sweet,funny ,easy going and smart in his eyes and one big point for me i,m very patient always have been (not that i don,t crave for him don,t get me wrong )

    But hey i, know how he feels i feel it from him so that makes me at ease ..

    Little trick for the ladies look for the twinkle in his eyes when he looks at you smiling, if you see the twinkle you know you have him …..

    Mia ….Thanks again for the wise words you are a very wise lady ..

    love and peace

  1145. #1145 by Mia on February 18, 2010 - 9:25 am

    Lioness, Tari, Capi and Lionsroar!!

    Hello to you!!!! and welcome Sadgebabe44!!!! Ur in a great place for support, and welcome ur input too!!!

    Capi, see? you are doing beautifully! short sweet and funny! excellent. sometimes if he texts me like Ur funny. or glad ur feeling better… i might text back ONLY a smiley face Only! ๐Ÿ™‚ yeah i used to do a wink but even now with us so close, i want to still keep my power, so no more winks! lol that is for him to do… i know it seems so elementary, what is the harm, well in psychology, there are huge differentiations between how ur psychie interprets ur messages to ur guy. believe it or not, if i were to wink, i would expect a little wink back. so a smiley face is less flirty which makes it less needy… and i only do that very rarely. mainly i do exactly as you did Capi! you know that song, “I got the Power.” you know, it’s gettin, it’s gettin, it’s gettin kind of heavy… has a cool rap beat and i use it to exercise! wahoo! i think Snap sings it, it is on Xm 90s, it is like one of my many theme songs! lol

    Lioness, hang in there! hm, I’m not so sure you should keep talking to his aliases… especially if it makes you feel bad. I would text him directly and let him know the truth. if it were me, i might send him an email directly to his address he uses for real, not an alias, or better yet call him leave a message. if your relationship is distant, then maybe just an email. i might let him know the reason u were talking to the aliases is because you felt it was the only way to reach him, and then tell him u would rather talk to the real guy and if he ever wants to be genuine with you, you would be welcome to that. i would wish him well with his relationship he is pursuing now (in those words!) he needs to hear that from you. he needs to hear the message you are sending him is that (he chooses to pursue a relationship) he needs to hear from you that you are happy for him and want the best for him. i know it sounds counter intuitive! but really do you want someone to be with you because you beg them? ah geez, you are too gorgeous & beautiful to take any man like that.

    i know it is crushing, but i could have told u that he might not be supportive as you with with your Uncle’s health problems. Please know not to take it personally, he is just very insecure and deep down he doesn’t wish ill will towards you. just use your friends (i might not be so chummy now with the mutual friend, he gets some power2 his ego with her) just mysteriously go away from him for abit. He will find a way to show up in your life, and when he sees you aren’t “biting” he will be WAY MORE attracted to you I think… ๐Ÿ™‚

    Tari, oh yes, they do act like babies! ha! absolutely! mine enjoys his telling me how to do things, laughing at me despite and last weekend got a kick out of me, giving him this non-plused stare like “anything you want to add smartass?” he just grinned, then laughed when i acted like i was going to swat his bottom, moved and laughed as we were playing wii. they are incourageable, know it, and love it, ha. hey i was like you on the commitment part, but am holding it out as i read on a post somewhere else from a taurus guy himself that a smart taurus guy will wait at LEAST a year if not more to decide whether they want to be committed to the woman of their particular interest and that the longer they are with one woman, the more sure they are becoming of a commitment, because they know right off the bat most times and won’t stay long to someone they do not consider being serious with.

    Lionsroar! Ah, I think his foot was half-way in or out and as seemingly innocent as your request was for the what plans do you have…. it pushed him away. Honey I have so been there!!!! I did something VERY much like you, and if I hadn’t then he would have come around much sooner and I think your guy was behaving like mine…

    Guess what? I think that he did NOT have plans without you UNTIL you asked what his plans were??? hmmmmmmmmm… remember when I went to my guy first after he DITCHED me! ? geez was i insecure and an idiot??? uh yes indeed at the time! ah poor pitiful mia was that day… i initiated! okay? see? i initiated !! did it make me feel better? Heck no! did it make him feel closer to me? HECK NO! did it drive him further away?? yes! lol he even made it worse! and knew he did by not only NOT replying but replying with just the opposite of anything NICE. he was OPPOSING. i said, “know u didn’t mean it, and sorry i missed you call.” you know what he texted??? he was BRUTAL TO ME… he texted, “oh that call was a mistake.” and he immediately got off line. it felt like he slapped me and hung up on me. it was tortuous. was the call a mistake? of course not!

    did you guy reeeally have plans??? i will bet you he didn’t i will bet you that he made them right after he told you what he was going to do…

    was he going out with your friends? he didn’t say he was taking a date and it wasn’t you did he???? geez.

    remember Lionsroar, you are way more secure than he, so try not to react with much vengence, remember, Taurus guys will be way too quick with the tongue saying things they so don’t mean!

    I might hang tight and let it go and see what happens, i dont’ know if i would be too quick to go out with your friends just yet when you know he may just pop by or whatever you said… i am not saying give in to him, i just mean i am seeing this in your relationship with him…

    i see that you have a similar problem as me with your circle of friends being the same (mine with church) that is way hard. but at this point and even when you thought you were a couple, or you were a definite couple! ๐Ÿ™‚ let him think of whatever the relationship is, but you still think as friends and let him roll with it. do things with your galfriends, but not sure i would do lots with your guy friends right under his nose, you are so like me in a way, i’m a very competitive person…

    i was dating a guy once and i saw him on match.com, i was astounded, mortified, and then within one minute i said, “hmph! well buddy wanna play hard ball, two can play at this game, i’m joining this right now!” lolllllllllllll i did !!! lol i even replied as a mystery person to him!!! lol that is how i met my last taurus guy! and ironically i owe it to the guy i saw on match to the taurus guy i am with now!!! lol, long story will tell you sometime!

    Lionsroar, I KNOW he is wild for you and i can tell that you have the esteem he is pining for in a relationship, and think the same for mine. i go very easy on mine now so he can learn to trust me, i almost feel stronger emotionally than him in an odd way. i can definitely see you are the stronger one emotionally with your guy too. hey i am the one that picked up and tossed the “sweet cute” snake out of our canoe last yr, remember? he bailed and swam to shore, i had to row backwards to pick him up! lol i was going to be da—ed if i was going to let a snake ruin my canoe trip! lol

    Settle your sweet gorgeous leo self down a bit and just wade this out, let him make the next move and don’t make plans just yet, but learn from it. if you get invited to an event next time that all your friends are involved in, you decide for you don’t wait on him, pretend you are not a couple, and just RSVP that you are going by yourself. yes by yourself, no date, that way he can see your independent, your still kind of showing you like him, but that you don’t let partial relationships hold you up… I’m telling you, if you had not asked him, he would have told you, not asked, but told you in a non-chalent way, like after we go to the event maybe we can do this… blah blah… then you would have known you’re going…

    Remember, stop reacting, smile. did you really want to go out with ur friends as you say now you have plans? or was it because he told you oh he is going out with Blah blah… ? see? you are allowing him to control your actions in a way… sorry you know i am not trying to tell you what to do, just to think about it, that you are so strong, in your mind, you can make anything even something mundane as painting your toenails be you “spitefulness” in a plan that is of wayyyyyy more importance than him! yup, nothing wins out over your gorgeous beautiful red lucious toenails that will have him swooning over you as you push him away. smile.

    xoxoxo to all, mia ~

  1146. #1146 by Jane on February 18, 2010 - 9:40 am

    Mia

    Thank you Mia, you are amazing and so great with words and how you explain your experiences. I like what you say about โ€˜initiatingโ€™ that is what bothers me at the moment. Like you say, give him ideas of what you like then when he suggests โ€˜hey, great sounds goodโ€™ he then thinks it his idea!! LOL how funny. I will try that. You are doing so well with your guy, its as you said you have turned it around. I wish I could do that at times, I am so emotional (oh not to him!) and take everything to heart and look for hidden meaning behind everything! Goodness, it is tiring doing that but it is who I am, very analytical, sometimes works well sometimes not so!

    Mia my guy is so insecure, looks for reassurance, validation all the time, oh he doesnโ€™t say it I just know from observing him. I know him really well, he has a big heart with a brick wall around it, I have noticed a few bricks are missing so its coming down really slowly and that is fine, fine because I feel it.
    I do need to relax a bit, you are right. I do know how special I am and that he is lucky to have me! Lol I feel lucky to have him too!
    I am very fast learning him, his ways his moods its me and my insecurity that sometimes clouds my view an distorts my vision and its then thank god you beautiful Mia and the lovely ladies here help me regain my sight!! Thank you

    Its like you said, drop the ball and let him pick it up!! Good point xx

    Lionsroar

    Hey thank you for sharing your experience with your Taurus, how rude and cheeky he is and how well you handled it and gave him bt of his own medicine!! Lol Bet he didnโ€™t like that! I agree he sounds like he just had to come looking for you, oh heโ€™l be all cool like he doesnโ€™t really care! Yeah right!! His actions say different.
    Lionsroar you have his cards marked and predict his move so well and hey you are right bulls should not mess with lions, the lion will surley win hands down!! Hee,hee

    Loiness

    My dear lioness I do hope you are ok. So sorry to hear about your uncle, so upsetting for you.

    Your Taurus guy does not deserve you the way he behaves, I do not understand the โ€˜aliasesโ€™ why on earth does he do that!!?? He is either VERY insecure or just playing around. I would not be able to deal with that.
    If I where you I would get hold of him by those horns of his and call him on it once and for all. He has to trust you and he making it difficult for you to trust him.
    Big hugs to you sweet lioness I know things are difficult for you at the moment. I do hope you are ok xx

  1147. #1147 by Lioness on February 18, 2010 - 3:21 pm

    Thankyou Jane and Mia and to the other girls!!!
    I have called my taurus man out many of times on his aliases believe me he just keeps at it and gets ticked and turns it back around like I am crazy. When I confront him on his regular name that is him he doesn’t respond he ignores me and I don’t even hear from him. So go figure? Part of me thinks that if it was really a game why put all of the energy into it because this has been going on since August 2009 and he started it right after I told him I liked him. I mean why even ask about me to my friend which your right Mia I am not telling our mutual friend anything about him anymore even though she is pretty much my best friend I am having some other major issues with her as well and am beginning not to trust her that much anymore. And Jane you are most definately right these aliases make it hard to trust him because they are stories but when I first met him he was so nervous around me I mean he was shaking. But with him talking to him on his own name he would only talk to me for like 20 min and have to go but when he pretends to be someone else we could talk for hours so my guess is that it is the insecurity thing but am just not positive. I know tauruses and leos are very stubborn and I had already went to him once and told him that I liked him and he shut me down and blah blah blah about how he had a girl and he really never did but he would always make sure to hurry up and get a female friend and she would be gone by the weekend if I didnt act like I cared. But with this one he has now she is a Gemini and I am so confused he tells my friend that he gets with her to make me mad but you know is that really the case or is it to just keep me hanging on you know esp when he makes a point to tell her things because he knows our friend has a big mouth and tells everything she knows. So we shall see……. Goodluck ladies!!

  1148. #1148 by saggi girl on February 18, 2010 - 3:24 pm

    loiness,

    i am sorry to hear about your uncle, and hope you will be ok..

    something that i felt wrong here is that you are being emotional with an “aliases’, not a real man. did you ever go out? or just playing talking game on line with his invisible/fake figure…i do not think you need to ever get headache over this little jerk.. that is my thought. sorry for being to outspoken as that is who i am.. i can not hold a thought of playing a game with someone who did not even dare to show his true face or identity. i do not care if he is insecure or something else, the thing is that you need to date a real human but not a fake image that you have to guess… we are too old for that..i am ok with the ups and downs in the relationship as long as i am dealing with a real human who was not afraid of disclosing his true identity. i told my guy on valentines’ day like ” when you are in a relationship, you are in it for the good and the bad. if you can not handle the bad or you are ready for the bad, then you do not deserve the good.” that is my sense.. my problem is that i was so emotional when it comes to something that did not go my way.. and i think i need to learn from it.. back off a little bit, like my guy said to me that i need to calm down in general..

    Loiness, i might be wrong in your case.. and maybe your taurus guy is a good guy, but i am just so upset for how he reacts and plays the “F” game… it was so imature. if he can not even ask for a real date with you, then you do not need to waste any second on him.. time is too precious to figure out whom you are talking with online….

    Move on…Loiness. Unless he was able to date you in person..

    Hugs and kisses to you. we are all here..

  1149. #1149 by Jane on February 18, 2010 - 6:11 pm

    Lioness

    Hi lioness, I have just read your and saggi girls post and a word that jumps out to me, and saggi girl said it too is โ€˜IMATUREโ€™ this guy would have me feeling strange about him, I am sorry to sound blunt to you but lioness you deserve better than he is treating you. If I was in that situation I would tell him what it is I would like (not in demanding way) and expect then pass that to him and let him in his time respond to you, whatever it is he says you would have to be prepared to maybe not like his answer and if that the case then you better out of it.

    What you have at the moment is superficial and not real how can you base or build up anything on what he is giving you or what he is about.
    Lioness of course you must do what you feel is right for yourself and look after yourself in the process.
    Remember how beautiful you are, this guy is getting the real you and you deserve the same. Good luck to you sweetie, keep us posted. I do hope he switches this around!!

  1150. #1150 by Lioness on February 18, 2010 - 7:32 pm

    saggi girl and jane thankyou,
    I have beginning to feel the same way for along time now. But believe it or not the taurus man I speak of is a neighbor of mine and it seems that he can be most comfortable talking to me with these aliases. I have about given up for sure esp. since he has this whole gf thing going on now. It is for sure wearing on my nerves I have also told the aliases I have welcomed him to talk to me as himself but that would have to admit that he was indeed the one on an alias and that is unlikely to never happen. This man used to look into my eyes and stare into my very soul and it gave me the chills for real. I hardly ever run into him anymore and like I said havent spoken to him himself since around October but for some reason he still asks about me and so on go figure…….. I have about given up on him but another part of me tells me he does these things out of spite to make me angry so I will go confront him face to face because I think that is what he wants and I refuse to do so. Leos and Taurus have that stubborness in common and I refuse to budge anymore he is going to have to meet somewhere halfway or something. Other than that thankyou girls for the great advice!

  1151. #1151 by Lioness on February 19, 2010 - 12:57 am

    Girls I found this posting a 25 yr old taurus man had answered to a question about trust issues on taurus men I thought this may help some of you girls!!! I can also relate to the whole move one step forward two (or four) steps back. lol. i’ve found that personally, i judge my next move based on how the girl is acting. so if she seems out of character, for whatever reason, i back off and just keep things where they are for the time being. usually time being is long enough for me to figure out if her change in behavior was temporary or permanent; probably at least a week. so heavy mood swings would be an almost impossible situation for anythign to happen. i tend to watch more how someone does things and not what they actually do. if they do things differently, and not what i would interpret as a good different, then i slow things down. it’s a long process this way, but to me it’s worth it. it’s not playing games like some would like to believe. far from it. but it’s the way i go through life. sounds like your guy takes a similar path. you just have to realize this and if you think he’s worth it, you have to learn that he watches your reactions closely (because of the trust issue) and the steadier you are the closer he will get. and a little bit of coaxing doesnt hurt either. ๐Ÿ™‚

  1152. #1152 by funnydove on February 19, 2010 - 3:23 am

    Hi all of you sweetie girls here

    I might say goodbye to all my dear sisters here because I feel my Taurus man far from me forever. Mine came back from 2 weeks business trip a day before Valentine Day. We did phone to each other, absolutely I am the person to intimate these calls. He didn’t show any emotion to me, even never say Happy Valentine Day.
    It is the time to move on…I could not stand with the hurt feeling deeply in my heart.
    Mine grown up in a rich family, and me live in the poor one. Do you think this cause a big gap between us? My head want to broken…I couldnt find any reason to answer my situation. A man who takes care me disappear for no reason…no contact for may be 1 month or more…

    Thank you for give me warm hugs….

  1153. #1153 by Mia on February 19, 2010 - 6:14 am

    Hi sweet ones,
    funnydove so good to hear from you will read all posts just a moment. quick update here:

    i looked up our compatibility charts and for the most part we are trine, we have an understanding and all knowing, and i already could tell we do, we have a strong bond sexually, didn’t have to read that one either, hee hee. we love entertaining others and open our hearts and home to others it says, favorable union. it did say something about how venus is more in love and that neptune may be unfaithful, but would lie to protect the feelings of venus, venus doesn’t understand, blah, blah…

    now that said, do you know when i read that taurus was the most faithful of signs, i was even more attracted to my guy, and i so do not take my guy for someone cunning and deceitful at all. so when i read that part above it is bothersome… actually the first time i read it i thought, “oh how sweet, he is more in love with me and oh no, i would NEVER be unfaithful. ever, and (i am divorced) that was never an issue, i was totally trusting and had no reason to distrust as my ex. (emotional abuse) but then i looked and from the chart I am Venus!!! geez!!!! are you kiddin’ me? lol

    but there were very strong positives in the chart that said our relationship goes beyond physical, we have a genuine love of our spirits and we have a deep friendship that slowly moves towards love…. said it doesn’t set well with his part but mine does… hey! that is kind of where we are at… he is pushy physical, and i am trying to slow that part down… and the slower we go, the better chance we will have a lasting union.

    he sent me two emails this morning, so sweet. one is pictures of the scenery where he and his friend are going when they go to vegas. i was very happy for him and wished him a fun relaxing time… he did not reply, remember i did not expect it… and he sent another that was very interesting.

    he also texted me tonight asking about our friend that will be moving saturday, we are helping her move… he did go to bible study and was texting me from bible study, geez. lol. but remember only as a friend. it’s wierd. he never mentioned anything personal. it was like we were just friends, nothing more…

    he never mentioned going out.

    and now he is questioning my judgement.

    this friend is the same one he calls a ‘b’ but is willing to help her, she has been a good friend of mine. becuz she is in dire straits but has not accepted any job help, holding out for a perfect job not to demean herself, she has chosen her circumstances of which me and my guy agree. he knows i have a heart for her but ironically the gal he used to date is putting her up in her home, but i told him one of our church singles leader called me and asked for help. i have been contacted our women’s ministry contact, our care services minister for her to get help, to me more healthy than just putting her up in a home… she needs job placement help, etc. i could put her in my home, but i have put one of my son’s friends, and others, but that is called enabling, and i’ve been there, done that. one month, becomes two, becomes… i came from an alcoholic family and i’m very co-dependent, too nice and have boundary issues… yup, u might not know it because I’m healthier!!!!

    my point is i texted him the details of the move, and told him i felt bad, but i’m giving her tough love as she give me. i said ‘ur sweet’ nite… and her tough love for me was for my angst against him, when he was standing me up, using me for s** i thought, she was telling me to dump him, my tough love for her is getting her to the right source so she can get a nice job, have a nice place to live, not enable her by living with someone, sorry you know what i mean, no band-aids, she made the choices unfortunately and refused my help with job stuff and lots others, and my guy knows this! we were just talking about it tonight!!!… do you know what he texted back… he said, “is that the right thing to do, giving her tough love?”

    i was so mad. i told him on the phone i just couldn’t offer my home to her, as i have my 15 yr old, and dog and problems of my own…

    i am not sure what he meant? he said he could give money in the background so she wouldn’t know who gave it. he has a kind heart, but he doesn’t know i already suggested that idea to the church… you see? he doesn’t know me.

    i think when i mentioned tough love, he thinks the worst, he doesn’t understand the true meaning is not to turn ur back on someone. i did text him that. tough love to me means you are not going to enable a person to keep making the same choices to keep themselves down. the answer here is not to open my home or have him make me feel guilty for not doing that, yet his ex is… i still don’t think that is what he meant. tough love is about giving healthy choices to the one you love, so you can fix the root of the problem not put a band-aid on it.

    sorry, here i avoid conflict and here we both are going to use our trucks to help her move her stuff into storage, and he is questioning me on tough love? is he opening up his home to her? so sorry, he likes to start fights with me? i know he does, but geez.

    oh wait, remember i told you he lives with his parents, surely he knows that is different and he isn’t comparing that…. for that matter she has a brother here and another in another city she can live with… do you see… no offense to her but if it were me, i would do anything rather than live with someone…. also she wasn’t going to live there because she would not be able to take her cat and the friend opening up her home is allergic to cats, so she said something about living in her car… geez… she has a church of more than 100 on staff, and because my guy says, but mia, she is too proud to ask for help… come on… i have hit rock bottom, he has too…

    heaven help me if this stupid incident were to break us up. i would know he is shallow. to the contrary, he should have a healthy respect for my differing opinion and me his (when i can understand what he meant by the text…)

    well, if anyone wants to take a stab at my guy’s text or what message he is trying to send me have at it…

    remember, it was very very late and i texted him a book yup defending myself to his callous comment. but decided to take it easy and just replied, “i know not what u mean? tough love does not mean turning your back on your friend.” meaning it does not mean turning against someone… ? he is almost too logical sometimes and tough love is like the parody of words, meaning it isn’t the definition you would think.. ?

    thank you and sending huge hugs to all you beautiful gals…
    mia ~
    oh and our chart also said he loves to strike up arguments to keep things heated and lively sometimes with his sweetie, yup, we bantered back and forth all last year when we camped, he said i went on and on, honey he did, geez. the people we were with said we sounded like a married couple. lol
    xoxoxoxo

  1154. #1154 by Capricorn lady on February 19, 2010 - 7:02 am

    Well ladies i have some very bad news ..

    Yesterday i heard that my mother will just have a few months left to live ..
    She has cancer and there is nothing they can do anymore .

    So i,m a little flabergasted right now as i am a only child and already no dad anymore (thankgod i have some family left )But not direct …

    My taurus called me yesterday to say how late he was picking me up and i told him ..He did not know what to say at first but he did say that when ever i need him to call him ..

    And lateron i called him again because i forgot the time he was picking me up and he said it again with the words (i know how you are because you just move on and you are to hard on yourself so call me anytime you need me i realy mean it ,you know what i mean )

    Well that gave me such a great support wich i did not expect from him in this early stage ..

    Right now i,m so glad i have you sweet ladies here cause it gives me something to focus on ..

    And i realy don,t want to lose my sweetheart especialy in time of need like this but i will have to be carefull with how i handle him wich is going to be twice as hard now ..

    love and peace

    capi

  1155. #1155 by Mia on February 19, 2010 - 9:45 am

    capi,
    oh so terribly sorry. i lost my Dad to cancer i feel for u sooo sorry. that is nice that your guy said that early on, he cares so for you. we are here for you supporting you, holding your hand, hugging you, it is so terribly emotional… no words can begin to describe your pain i know…. u just don’t know how you get through it but you do… i would call your guy from time to time for support if you need it, he seems pretty concerned and genuine with you…. my prayers and thoughts are with you capi to soothe the pain of what your Mom may go through and to soothe the emotions of what you will be feeling… sending you peace, lots of faith, and warm hugs…

    funnydove,
    i am so sorry, please don’t leave us totally, we will miss you! those mean taurus men! hey, mine was doing so great, er, well for him, he was sending me two word texts, for him that is good. u online? or hey u? lol but mine never acknowledged valentine’s day… and we he came to my home the night before just hanging out. he has never acknowledged us any more than friends, but he hugged me before he left the last two times, this is after hm, 8 months….

    so you are not so far removed from yours as you think you are…

    just tonight mine called me and was asking me about a friend move we are helping with, and i did not go to bible study because like you it is killing my heart to see him in public not acknowledging me hardly at all… and he just said, bye tonight, like i’m a handyman or something… oh he did say, have your phone on saturday in case i need to know the address of where we are going… then he made a callous remark to me, but he probably did not think it was callous…

    sending u a great big hug funnydove.

    jane, thank u for your compliments, you are so sweet, as are you saggi girl, and sweet lioness, thank u for sharing the comments of the 25 yr old taurus guy that does help.

    as u see i am insecure tonight because i am so tired…. i texted him and accidentally sent a long text i saved as a draft to that tough love text … oh geez. oh well. i will just drop it with him.

    also i just now did the chat thingee that he will see next time he gets online in his email… told him i couldn’t sleep my tummy hurts probably from the meds (from when i hurt my ribs when we were wrestling) i told him that i hope he didnt think i was rushing off last night when we were on messenger, that i do love talking with him but knew it was late and he needed to go to work early.

    i am looking for a healthy balance so i can still gain his interest but not be so plain and predicatible he looses his interest .. lol

    i’ll let u know about the weekend… and yes jane, yours just has a different personality, so feel your guy out.

    i made a huge stride tonight, i had signed on to the two sample match date sites (from last summer, they were free) but i can tell you, eeghads, lol, oh my, the pickings are like… well, let’s just say each time i looked over a few pages before i closed my free accounts, i was like, ohhhh how i love my sweetie… i only signed up for the free accounts when i was pretty sure i was going to get very hurt by him…

    so my faith will grow from a mustard seed, nothing shall be impossible and i put my faith and trust into my sweetie…
    we’ll see.

    lioness, u wish your guy well and not sure i would talk to the aliases…. just say nicely you wil be glad to speak with him directly. done. and wish him welll in his pursuit of the gal… he will keep coming around and your healthiness may rub off on him like mine did… oh he started showing up for dates and on time, and he changed as a result of my actions not his….

    about to fall asleep here… sending much love, mia

  1156. #1156 by Jane on February 19, 2010 - 2:27 pm

    Capricorn lady

    How can I tell you how very sorry I am to hear you very sad and awful news. This is really a very tough time for you in every aspect. I do relate very well to how you will be feeling, I lost my mum to cancer too, so terrible.

    My dear Capricorn lady, how sweet your guy offering his support that is real comforting to know and be sure to know also that I will support you here if that helps in any way. It sounds like your guy understands your difficult time and offering his hand to you, take it capi lady, and donโ€™t be afraid, I am glad he has said that to you he sounds like a real nice guy and just what you need right now.
    Take each day as it comes, be strong and even though I cant physically be there with you, I will be praying for you, wishing you strength and courage with what lays ahead. We are all your friends here. God bless you I am sending you a heartfelt hug.
    You are in my thoughts xx

  1157. #1157 by Lioness on February 19, 2010 - 3:25 pm

    Hello Girls!!!
    Capi I am sorry to hear about your mom that is so hard to deal and cope with and it looks like you have a good Taurus man who is gonna be there for you. Mia thankyou for the advice I will try and see what happens sometime it is easier said than done because if I tell one alias we are done talking he forms another and it goes on down the line. My taurus is a leo rising so maybe that is why he does the yahoo thing loves a good story and loves a dramatic time and that is probably why we were instantly attracted to each other am not sure. But the bottom line is we are 2 stubborn people who are unwilling to give into each other and hide out behind yahoo or behind other people because we are afraid to hurt the other because we are so much alike. That is what I have come to the conclusion about because Taurus men dont waste time for nothing and I think I make mine feel insecure and that is why he does the yahoo thing to try to get to know me subtely without me knowing it is him but I have caught on and most girls wouldnt.

  1158. #1158 by Mia on February 19, 2010 - 4:47 pm

    Lioness,
    Yup, you are so right, mine is leo rising too (i think) and he has sent text messages from my phone to my friends responding for me (this last time to find out who the person was, and i didn’t realize it until he left my home, geez! lol)

    oh yes, he is hiding behind the aliases as another form of
    communication because he likes you.

    sometimes i have accidentally made my guy feel insecure when i did not mean to.

    yeah i am like u, in that i would have caught on too and i am still with him as most girls would not but i can see thru him much of the time and read him and understand him. that helps and that is why they feel ‘safe’ with us becuz they are learning to trust us. is it me or is there a lot of unspoken knowing between our guys. after me making an idiot of myself accidentally sending the long text, he did not reply. i actually respect that and i think or i’m learning that when he does not reply, it isn’t because he does not value or respect me, he will use it for the next inquiry of me or whatever…

    i left him a small email be4 leaving work yesterday at telling him it is awesome that he gets to work so early (he gets off early and avoids morning traffic), he replied very early this morning from work, “i guess, ‘m’ ” short and sweet, that is my guy, lol. so maybe that is to let me know he does not have angst against my defensive reply about the gal moving.

    Jane, and all u sweet gals,
    U hang in there and give us an update soon! saggi girl, jess, and lionsroar too… remember, ur feeling do not lie, so when u feel confident, ur attraction from him goes up for u, when u feel not so confident, resentful, insecure, needy, then it is a sign that u are giving just a bit too much & need to put that energy back into urselves. remember he still wants to do all the work really… i keep forgetting that and can be too accomodating. a fine line between accomodating and being stable & supportive to gain his trust…
    I feel the need to back off from him, as i am not sure and he is going back to his asking me out, but not following up at all. it is unusual for him not to ask me out for friday, tonight, i noticed he did ask me out but for tomorrow, saturday… hm, i do have plenty to do.

    but feeling the insecurities starting to creep back in, so i need to relax and let him go again! yup! calm, cool and collected, i do better when he is pulling info from me instead of me offering… smile.

    Capi we are here for you… sending all sweet hugs, mia xoxo

  1159. #1159 by saggi girl on February 19, 2010 - 4:51 pm

    Capricorn lady,

    i am so sorry to hear that and can relate very well how you feel. i lost my aunt 2 years ago and i couldn’t sleep during the night and at the same time i have to be acting strong for my mom.. i took 2 weeks off and traveling oversea to show my support to my mom.. it is hard and i know it.

    Things are easier said than done especially coming to these moment… we can be here to comfort you verbally, but mentally and physically you have to be strong on your own.. It is very nice of your taurus to offer his support and do not be too hard on yourself. When you feel like a company or comfort, let him know…do not be afraid.

    My taurus lost his mom like 3 months ago, he did not talk much about it but one night he called me in a very lower voice and said that he missed her a lot.. i do not know if he cried or not as he never showed that side to me.. but i can feel it was hard…

    sweetie, give yourself time and do not be too hard on yourself..
    you are in my prayer… hugs to you.

  1160. #1160 by Lioness on February 20, 2010 - 6:49 am

    hello girls,
    I am so mad right now I cant even think straight after talking to my taurus guy for about 4 hours today under his alias I told him I was going to meet our mutual friend for lunch and she was having some problems. Well around 9pm this evening she calls me telling me my taurus guy had been talking to her for 45 min about her man issues and things he was concerned since I had told him this earlier what was going on and then he lets on like he didnt know but gives the same joke about her man as he did me. Anyways, he tells her that he is going to be moving within the next month in with this girl that supposedly is a serious relationship but as under his alias he protrays to be a single guy who just broke up w his gf. Anyways he subtely hints to me that pretty much the relationship he is in is for sex and that is how they only get along him and this new girl. I mean I dont even care about that I am not with him but when he goes on and tells me he is genuine about how much he likes me when I dont believe him I am getting kind of ticked because it is like he is trying to test me and try to push me to go to him to make a move and I refuse to. I told his one alias tonight that I had gotten a call from a friend of mine and she told me some things and he wanted to know what and I said it doesnt matter I dont care anyways. He got kind of pissy and said oh ok. I don’t get the deal with him is he that insecure? He made up some stories awhile back saying he was moving to his home town within 6 months to be close to this married woman who was leaving her husband for him well the truth is he was never even dating a married woman. It is like he is testing me or thriving off drama or my reactions and when I didnt give him one he got ticked. Thanks mia for being so understanding I am not sure what it is about these taurus leo rising men they are a piece of work almost certifiable for sure. But goodluck ladies and Capi things will get better for you!!!!

  1161. #1161 by Capricorn lady on February 20, 2010 - 9:22 am

    Thank you sweet ladies for being here for me …

    That realy means alot to me ..

    Even my taurus is here for me much more than i expected yesterday he called me right before we where going out to ask me how i was ..

    and when we went out to eat with our fiends he and another friend picked me up i was sitting next to him in the van and he just kissed me on the lips to say hi .
    That was the first time in public ..

    Than lateron 3 of us went outside for a smoke and he told me where our girlfriend from school stood there to that he felt realy bad about what is happening to me and that he realy at home dealing with it ..

    Afther that the same girl asked each and everyone of us if we all where married and went from left to right so he was awnsering before i was and he said i,m single with commitment fear than when it was my turn i just said single with 2 kids ..

    But there was no pretending that we did not know eachother very well he even asked me infront of everybody how much weekends he has worked so i told him ..

    So he made it no secret that we where seing eachthother very much and know alot about eachother but the most importand thing to me was the awnser that he was single with commitmentfear that was the point for me when i knew he loves me ..He did not whant to hurt me but also did not whant to lose me by saing only single like i was not importand i know he said that for me wich was very brave in my eyes ..

    and afther we where dropped of each at our own place i knew he would texed me something and he did he texted me sweet dreams sweetheart (he knew i was very tired and needed my sleep)

    And he tried to sit close to me all evening also so atleast i know i,m in his heart more so than i expected in such a short time ..

    And to be honest i realy need him to cause right now i,m living in a very bad situation and the worst is yet to come ..

    So sweet girls thank you so much for your love and support it realy means a lot to me ..

    love and peace

    capi

  1162. #1162 by Jane on February 20, 2010 - 10:42 am

    Hello to you all

    Hi and yes hanging in here, well my guy been so lovely all week texts ect, I have been supporting him with his work situation via texts, he has continually thanked me all week saying it helps him through his day so I really know he appreciates it.

    He is going on holiday next week for a week, a trip that has been planned for a while and he has time off work when he returns and I do too so he has said he would like us to spend time together and said that would be good!
    I do feel we are getting closer but I must admit I still do feel the โ€˜slowing things downโ€™ thing these guys do, its like open slightly with feelings, pull back, give a bit more, slow it down!!! Goodness wish he would just let it go for gods sake!!! Lol

    Him telling me he missing me I know was big or him, I do realise that.
    We are getting together today, I am cooking for us, which I know he loves and I am cooking one of his favourite meals too, he has told me during the week that he cant wait to see me and that he looking forward to it already.

    Tell me ladies please if you can relate or understand thisโ€ฆ..

    I text him this morning โ€˜good morning ectโ€ฆwe text each other that every morning (usually him texts me) but what I have noticed last month or so, not every time but when itโ€™s the week end he can take hours to reply, it has been 2 hours now!!! The thing is I have explained to him before that I would like to know as soon as he able to tell me, time we are meeting so I can plan meal and my day ect, he knows this and I also explained at the time that it is not to know โ€˜his moveโ€™ but solely for me to plan what I need to do, now again he hasnโ€™t replied knowing we seeing each other later. Itโ€™s like his need for โ€˜controlโ€™ takes over!!
    I donโ€™t know whether I should bring this up to him!? What do you think!?
    When I text 2 hours ago I never mentioned meeting up coz I was waiting for his reply and then was going to ask that! Stress or what!!!!!

    Mia, thanks for the tipโ€ฆconfidence raisers his attraction!! I have noticed that.
    You make me laugh when you said, โ€˜he said bye like I am a handy man or something!! Lol Mia, you have your guy so sussed its so funny!!
    You seem to anticipate his move very well, I am starting to realise this pattern in my guy too!! Unlike you though, I donโ€™t work him as well as you do your guy, I am too reveiling of me I think, I need to be a bit more mysterious, I just donโ€™t know how!! Maybe you could teach me LOL.

    Any way ladies I do hope you are all good, enjoy your week end. I will keep you posted how my day with my guy goes, assuming he gets back to me!!!

  1163. #1163 by Jane on February 20, 2010 - 11:45 am

    Hi, little update!….
    Well he didnโ€™t text me back, I got impatient and text him, very calm just hi, how are you what time can you make it today? Now the thing is here is not so much I am impatient its i am the type of person that likes to know what is happening with plan, especially as I am cooking and like to get all beautiful and dressed up for him before he arrives!! Lol

    He text back (never mentioned he ignored earlier text!) said he had to go into town so what im best for me.
    I have learnt that it doesnโ€™t matter what time I suggest coz he will change it anyway!! I said 4 or 5 is fine with me, I explained again my reason for wanting a time so I can be ready. He said ok 5 is good. So ladies watch this space, I bet you all the tea in china that he texts me half hour before to say he running late and be bout half hour later!!! He does that EVERY time and I never comment, just โ€˜ok honey just see you when you get hereโ€™ Oh how sweet I am lol

    Hope you all ok and having a jolly good week endโ€ฆ.x

  1164. #1164 by Mia on February 21, 2010 - 7:26 am

    Hey Everyone!

    Lioness, hm, ur guy is really trying on so many levels to intimidate you…. that is the message i’m getting, and thinking u need to lay back before interacting with him, and when u do, don’t make it a big deal… u are soooo like me, getting so mad at him and underneath he is so amused that he can get a rise out of u.. know that is coming from his leo rising and try not to allow it to get to u too much, back off a bit, and try not to offer too much info, like telling him u were going out with the mutual gal friend of urs, bcuz obviously he took it and ran.

    i can assure u i am dealing with mine and that mutual gal friend we have, i am starting to feel sorry for her, because he is still communicating with her and doing things with her on the side, & sending her the message i was sending another guy friend when i did not mean to, like asking him to do things with me but just as friends. he liked me for more & finally told me he loves me and can’t see me anymore since i can”t return his feelings, oh i felt terrible, but i understood, so now he is gone, like “m” needs to do with the gal. she is wondering i’m sure what message he is trying to send i’m sure… if he isn’t going to start dating her. i learned that tonite & i am beyond anger now. i’m almost to the point of telling him i can’t date him anymore becuz i would never want to get in the way of his relationship with her, have at it, just leave me be and please pursue a relationship with her, bcuz u are with her, seek out her company, etc.

    we helped our friend move all day and afterwards all went to eat.. “m” was talking about getting his cover for his phone (last sunday afternoon) and the “gal mutual friend” corrected his story, he said oh yeah that’s right then we looked at another phone cover and i got that one… then we went to autozone and got her battery blah blah..

    i was floored. just last saturday i was peeling the guy off me as he (we) couldn’t help ourselves and he went totally all the way with me, we were wild for each other and he left my home after midnight… yet the next day, he picks her up after church and runs his errands and hers with him??? are you freaking kidding me? am i an idiot? is my thinking totally screwed or is it supposed to be hunky dory that this guy keeps texting me, finding ways to be near me, asking me out, spending 5 to 6 hours at a time at my home, each saturday or friday night, having mind blowing s** with me, respectfully kissing me and hugging me (no not getting personal or romantic like ur guys, he doesn’t compliment me much, and doesn’t say sweetie, honey, nothing and well, doesn’t say anything… not even i had a nice time in text, he may verbally, but he is very much treating me like a friend, and for the times we are having you know… s**, he is very quiet, then he changed back to being a friend…

    Saggi girl hope all is well with ur guy! Capi, ur guy sounds wonderful, he is so romantic already kissing u in public, wow, and calling you sweetheart… i can’t imagine my guy so much as brushing up against me in line at a restaurant somewhere, etc. lol

    Jane, excellent… but yes, i see u are going thru what i already went thru, drove me up the wall until i figured it out. i know it is annoying when he does not mention plans as ur plans move closer to the time he is coming… do not text him, coax him for a plan, a time he is coming, just go on and start making ur meal, have it ready for ur time frame in ur head… maybe 6? that way you will be eating at 6 whether he is there or not… see? u have accomplished three things!!! one. u are not dependent upon him for an answer, he is not the invisible elephant in the room & u won’t have angst with him, becuz he will NOT control ur time. u are sending him a message that if he wants to eat with u, be with u, he will have to confirm the plans ASK what time is good for u, or know u will eat regardless of him:) in a very nice way of course, not a biggee in ur mind… two. u take pressure off him. remember, two steps back, that way when u allow him to initiate, even last Thursday when he asks u out for Saturday, do not bring it up again… allow him to initiate contacting u… no texting first, he will confirm eventually, if not again, u allow for his mistakes, i know u are living with the fear that u would die and feel so forsaken by him if he just forgets about u, or doesn’t mention ur date … (remember a Taurus man ‘ i read this somewhere’ can be very sponteneous and will normally wait up until that last 30 minutes before date to contact u.. mine does this all the time, and then sometimes, just asks me what i am doing… ? lol & ur reply shant be, oh i’m getting ready for our date! nope, reply simply oh i’m cooking, etc. ๐Ÿ˜‰ he will come around… three. it will ensure success for ur relationship becuz by doing this you are naturally keeping the balance as it should be, he is pulling info from u, and also ur natually a bit mysterious…not to mention ur his attraction for you goes up !!

    very tired here gals,

    over all a super weekend with my guy!!! i can’t complain, he found a way to be with me last night asking if i wanted company if he could come over to my home after i helped my friend wrap stuff for her move… we were very intimate and it was heaven, played wii, but still his side of couch afterwards, no affection even now… not even a hug when he left, we weint to the local grocery at midnight to get boxes for move and when i couldn’t recall seeing a tape gun at her house for the move, he got all mad and said he hates when i do that, all wishy washy… so i just walked over and said, well, let me hug you before u go… i did, then texted him when i got home saying that his hugs are very important to me… ( in a nice way )

    and tonight we spent entire day together moving gal, with our friends and of course the other gal that too…

    but he found yet another way to be with me after we all ate, he was telling me to park close to him so no one would steal trailor and all day today, i saved him kind of… chairs he stacked were falling on his back and i hopped up on table to hold the chairs to keep them from falling… i did a lot of stuff naturally, even parking my truck near his traillor for the restaurant we left to go to the next one…

    And lastly he asked to use my 4 wheel drive at his home to put the trailor back, i did and his Dad invited me inside their home, and “m”, his Mom and me sat in a computer room and just talked with each other for a good while… she is very nice… and his dad is so precious, both his parents are so thoughtful and kind to me…

    so thinking he would not do this if he did not like me…

    he did not hug me when i got back to my truck to leave, i was fine with it bcuz of being at his parents house u know (he is living w/ them 4now, out of respect 4him, i’ve not asked him about this:) he called me on my way home and asked me to look for a phone thingee he may have left at my home, (you see he found like 7 things to find reason for contacting me being with me for the past two nights and days here! and even tomorrow! we are going to bring her T.V. back to my home and he volunteered to do this…

    All day today during the move, i did tiny things for him and all… like getting drinks for all at store and getting rope, and some candy and peanuts to tide us over since we didn’t have time to eat. put a snickers in his truck and a sucker he likes both, and didn’t tell him, he asked and then thanked me after consuming the candy he was so hungry! lol.. i didn’t make a big deal about it, oh just, u needed some protein to hold u over…. (peanuts and carbs, quick energy:)

    OHHHHHH, and just as i was ‘cussing’ him out in my mind as I followed him back to his house tonight, I was mentally telling myself to tell him I was NOT going to date him anymore since i just don’t date a guy that picks up another gal on the side and does things with her, contact her, calling her, blah, blah… can you imagine??? dating a guy, even if he is not sure yet, I know he isn’t “doing it’ with her, BUT can you imagine, the guy you date is sitting with you and your friends and another gal is answer for him in a experience or errands that they did together by themselves??? uh huh, NOPE, i was crushed yet again my heart sank, as i had to hold my composure, thinking HELL NO, will not do this… I won’t tell the guy what to do, BUT I CAN REMOVE myself from a situation THAT allows me to put up with behavior that I WOULD FIND distasteful, lack of dating ettiquette, and almost disrespectful to him or any guy i would date…

    but i prayed in my head about it and got the feeling to let it go, I did, i’m numbed and Jane, I don’t need to feel the need to initiate ‘SQUAT’ now, in my mind, I’m like repelled by him, like I so freaking release you and will NEVER treat you as i like you for more than a friend, in my mind you date her, i respect her and will move far away from you, leave me be and go on to her, i don’t play that way, date her, leave me be, and (what do you want from me??? s**??? I’m done here. WILL NEVER be with a guy that doesn’t know he wants to be with me… please go on to her, and leave me out of this… I am thinking all this…)

    AND WOULDN’T YOU KNOW IT, he calls me on way home asking me to text him when i get home to look for his phone thingee… i couldn’t find it said i would keep looking tomorrow and then (since i got rope for our move today…) he texted now i will have rope to tie you up with! now… hmmmmmmmmmm getting frisky with me eh??? lol.. i texted back something like yeah right you naughty man… ๐Ÿ˜‰ but u will have to catch me first, ๐Ÿ˜‰ he texted back… mmmmm … i did too… then i was genuine thanking him today for helping with move, he is a Godsend and his parents are precious, so enjoyed their company…

    So I continue to pray about the other gal thingee…

    how does she fit into all this??? and what is the motive for his actions on involving this gal into his life???

    Thanks all will let u know how it goes…

    mia ~~
    Jane, yes I’ll tell u why the texting is becoming longer from his replies, for my case, it is because i intiated and i notice, each time i initiate, and each time we are intimate, he slides away abit, so in my head i am still in the mode of he is only a friend, and i choose not to feel resentment, so i don’t text him unless he texts me first, ah, my control is coming back now, and now more self assured! ๐Ÿ™‚ oh yes about the 5 time, him calling and pushing it later! yup, mine still does this too…. BUT in my case i notice when he initiates, he may ask 7 pm? and he sticks with it.. ๐Ÿ™‚

  1165. #1165 by Jane on February 21, 2010 - 9:19 am

    Mia

    Sweet Mia, thank you for your response to me. I will get to that in a minute.

    Mia you are just so so lovely and your guy is doing what so many ladies here in previous posts have said โ€˜he has not made up his mind yetโ€™!! Cheeky I know but how many times have you read/heard how these guys dance about with different women flirting ect, and they love the attention even if they have someone special in mind.

    You and your guy seem to have a special bond between you so I donโ€™t know why he still acting all โ€˜machoโ€™ lol like trying to make you jealous.
    Like you said, finding ways to be near you, asking you out, you where peeling him off you last week!!!!
    Mia, I would have to know where I stood if I was you, everything you describe sounds so good between you (remember โ€˜spooningโ€™) ahhh so sweet!
    I mean if his relationship with this girl is purely โ€˜friendsโ€™ then of course no problem but its like by doing as he does, he sees you ok with it he carry on. I know you say she mutual friend but it is clearly upsetting you coz you see what is happening but Mia you really like this guy so I wouldnโ€™t give him your blessing to go ahead and date her, why not tell him how you feel!!?? The reason I say that to you that way is I see you as stubborn as Taurus sometimes!! Lol (I donโ€™t mean to offend) what have you got to lose by telling him what you want!!??
    Mia, you know very well what Taurus like, you sending him to her will result in him thinking you have no interest in wanting him. From what you describe, you have him already โ€˜hookedโ€™ on you; he is waiting to be reeled in!! Donโ€™t let her have him!! Why should you!!???

    Mia, as for me well I laughed so hard when I read you post coz goodness me how true!! Lol
    Well he didnโ€™t text me half hour before to say he be late (like I thought he would!) He just turned up 10 mins late, so I didnโ€™t mind that, then I realised that our last meal together 2 weeks ago he did same thing, although apologised for being late last time but not this time!! Lol So maybe this is a change, both times know just 10 mins late and you are right coz both those times I have told him to decide time, knowing if I do he changes it anyway!! I am catching on!!!

    Anyway, meal was lovely (even tho say so myself!! Lol) he loved it. I had got some photos and sentimental items I have to show him, I even showed him a beautiful flower that he picked for me June 09, I had pressed it dry in a book, he looked shocked that I had kept it. It was so lovely. I felt like crying coz I could feel his eyes all over me and me over him but we donโ€™t get that close!! Itโ€™s so hard to be patient when you got this sexy guy in front of you!! LOL
    After the meal we went to sit on settee and since we been โ€˜friendsโ€™ I have sat on other settee across from him and I always notice him staring at me. This time I thought โ€˜stuff itโ€™ and I said โ€˜oh it doesnโ€™t feel right you over there and me over here, Iโ€™ll sit next to youโ€™! Well I tapped him on the arm (coz I was embarrasses saying it) then sat on opposite end of settee so wasnโ€™t even close to him anyway!!!!! WHAT WAS THE POINT IN THAT!!!! LOL I am an idiot!!!
    Mia, thing is tho what is going through my mind, how can he sit so close to me and not want to touch me!!! I feel his eyes all over me and he fancies me like mad!! Lol
    We hugged and kissed on โ€˜cheeksโ€™ and quick peck on lips, when he hugs me its like he doesnโ€™t want to let go.
    It was funny coz as he was leaving he was goofing around outside and I was laughing and I called him back saying โ€˜I want another hugโ€™ He flew in to my arms and I didnโ€™t want to let go!!! OMG I love him so bad!!!
    Thank you Mia, your words are a great support. I do hope you are ok, its like I said, you shine so bright that this guy is drawn to you, donโ€™t let him get awayโ€ฆ.. big hugs

  1166. #1166 by Lioness on February 21, 2010 - 7:32 pm

    Mia,
    Thanks for the words of wisdom as always am starting to get that same feeling about him trying to intimidate me but I cant understand why someone would do such a thing when they are with someone going to be moving in with them it doesn’t make any sense to me at all…… I don’t like being toyed with I dont take it lightly at all and sometimes I just feel like a game to him and such a fool sometimes for even doing this. The situation is definitely starting to become tacky and dis tasteless to me and I am coming to a point where I am going to stop talking to all these personalities for good and he fails to realize that. I have noticed that he got kind of pissy with me the last time I talked to him.I told him that my friend had called me up telling me all about the conversation they had he wanted to know what stuff she told me and I simply replied oh nothing am not really concerned about any of it. He goes oh ok and then goes on to later say that he was in a mood to have sex and I said well go it then. That set a damper on the mood he didnt have really much to say after I told him to get at it with his girl and said no one was there. I was like yeah ok in the back of my head I feel so bad for this woman too how he is playing right behind her back but passes it off as nothing and he is faithful to her because he hasn’t actually had sex with anyone. OMG it makes me want to puke and I don’t know why I put up with these shenanigans. Mia you are so right we are both in the same boat and I am more drawn to your story because they are so similar. Jane I hope that everything is going to be alright for you and your man at least he is wanting to come visit you and have dates with you rather than cowering back into a corner and not responding to you or not wanting to be with you. But Goodluck Ladies!!!!

  1167. #1167 by Jane on February 21, 2010 - 8:56 pm

    Lioness

    Hi to you, I do hope you are ok, lioness just read your post and I too can see how it driving you crazy putting up with this guys shenanigans as you said, he is a nightmare! Sorry to be so blunt but hey, who does he think he is!!?? Well actually I donโ€™t think he knows with all these aliases he got!! Lioness what keeps sticking out for me is how would this guy treat you if he was with you? He doesnโ€™t seem to be able to be honest with himself let alone you.

    You deserve so much better than he is giving you right now.
    Do you know what you are going to do here and how much longer you going to go with this? Lioness I know itโ€™s so easy for me or anyone else here to have an opinion on this, but this is you and not us, you feel what you feel and know how far you want to take this, I do have concern for you though coz I really do not understand in the least what this guy is doing!! I fully understand him feeling unsure or scared; protecting himself but goodness what does he think you going to do here!!?? Hiding behind these masks are just alienating him from reality and thatโ€™s what concerns me for you my dear.
    Lioness, maybe you could just tell him straight how you want it or play him at his game and see how he likes that, like you have someone interested in you, someone prepared to be โ€˜himselfโ€™ someone who actually thinks you are worth the effort and hey I may just give it a go as I am single after all! See how he likes the sound of that. He is sounding so childish with his โ€˜I feel like having sexโ€™ no-one in their right mind would have sex with him the way he is behaving.

    Lioness, please forgive me being so blunt, I hope my opinion does not offend you, I have concern and after all we all here for the same reason โ€˜bull menโ€™ lol
    I do hope your guy sees for himself what he is doing coz he will be alone forever if he doesnโ€™t. Remember your worth and how amazing you are, if he doesnโ€™t see it then its his loss x

  1168. #1168 by Lioness on February 21, 2010 - 9:09 pm

    Jane,
    thankyou for your good advice. I have actually tried the getting him at his own game before pretending to say that I was with someone else and I had a casual thing and so on he got so mad and so jealous this was back in october. I saw him out and he looked at me said hello and I could see the hurt in his eyes when he looked at me and he looked at me with disgust and him being mad and so on but on the outside he tryed to be nice to me and such. I have thought about telling him that I no longer wish to talk to him because I dont see this going anywhere and I feel that I am lowering my standards with him doing the online thing and I feel like telling him I only see him as a friend and nothing more I dont want to hurt him though or drive him away even further than what he is so am not sure whether I should do this or not . None of it is true I do see myself with him but I somehow want to get to his heart and make him realize that he is missing out on something right in front of his face. I am hurt that he is telling my friend that he is going to give up his place and move in with this girl in a month why a month why not just do it now hes never home and probably with her anyways. I dont understand it I feel like he is intimidated by me because I have heard that he thinks I am hot also he is so nervous around me and hardly speaks to me as himself. What I dont understand is that he has asked about me to his girlfriends cousin and I have no idea why…. why would someone do all of this? That is what is bothering me especially the masks of him being someone else and so on! And also when he is in a relationship with someone else!

  1169. #1169 by Mia on February 21, 2010 - 9:20 pm

    Jane, Lioness,

    In a hurry here! Okay read part of your post Jane,

    because I am about done with this… ahhhhhhhhhh….

    he yet found another way to be with me this past Friday nite! yup, he asked if i wanted company, yup we were well pretty intimate.. this time i just didn’t want to peel him off, lol… and alllllll day Saturday we helped the friend move and the gal was there… but yesterday after we all went to eat, the gal was finishing his sentence for him! because come to find out when he was talking with everyone, he was with HER when he got his cell phone cover!!! He called me to let me know he got it later and all about it whatever. I was TRYING TO hold my composure, but was FLOORED! he is sooooooooo close to boyfriend/girlfriend here! I can’t tell you he is sooooo acting like we are boyfriend / girlfriend pretty much, so it is killing me why he seeks a relationship with her!

    And today! just now! wouldn’t you know her car wouldn’t start and I was going home to get my jumper cables, (knew “m” wouldn’t have them, he didn’t) but saw a guy and asked him, he helped! that was cool… but “m” was like all in her car helping her, and snapping at all my suggestions! like i’m a idiot of course… lol I ever asked her if I could jiggle her keys, happens to me all the time (keys getting stuck) oh she quickly said, “no” like she is all adoring “m” helping her! I treat her like a friend, really have no reason to blame her, but she definitely flirts in her own way cuz if it WERE ME, honey i would have asked a girlfriend to take me home, she happily gets in his truck and he “is the hero” driving her home while the tow truck is behind them. yet just minutes before he gives me a swift swat on the bottom while I’m helping our friend move! unbelievable… and then when he and his friend (the friend came of his that was wanting to ask me out… ) they were carrying her large T.V. down her apt stairs and I was worried for them, asking them to let me go in front to help guide them… “m” snapped at me again and “his friend” was getting on to “m” telling him to be quiet for snapping at me, while “m” was telling “his friend” ‘ i know but she’s making all these faces, and so worried about us, she drives me nuts… ” lolllllllllllll yup like we’re a married couple… this while the gal was going down the steps too! lol..

    but listen to this! who was it that saved his butt yesterday when chairs were falling on him… yup, me! I jumped up there and took the load off… and we got the chairs back.. and who was it who ran up the stairs to help him and another guy from church guide the huge armoir down the steps while this “gal pal” of his sits passively watching! you see…. she just sat there all day and I’m the one going to get rope, and drinks and even now my friend is going to live with me for awhile….

    when “m” heard from me that i am going to let her live with me temporarily I think his attraction for me soared, cuz he would do the same… we both enjoy helping others….

    but lastly, he YET FOUND ANOTHER way yesterday to be with me… he went OUT OF HIS WAY to have me park next to his trailor so no one would steal it… i was already following him to ensure nothing fell out… our unspoken communication which i know he appreciates we think alike… when he asked me if I had done this and that… to cover bases when people move, I said yes, where alot of gals wouldn’t think that way…

    oh now he is texting me, see ? finding another way… he I will bet is going to go help me help her… I will calm down.

    You gals probably just saved my relationship! lollllll

    I love him sooooo… even though he confuses the heck out of me!!! geez! i so know he loves me too…. geez… lol

    Yes Jane, i think he has a respect for me that i’m not jealous. cuz i’m like so not… as i said, he can have her is my attittude, just leave me out of it and he should know i don’t want any guy that does not want me…

    and oh is he in the best mood this weekend we both are! and last night he was texitng me telling me he is going to have to tie me with a rope! like sexy talk…. and i did tell him how handsome, smart, intelligent and strong he was Friday nite… he was so smitten i think… lol, he is too adorable and he knows i know that he feels the same, he just too proud to admit it, he grins, swats me on the butt, and loved me speaking with his mom last night… yup his dad invited me in their home, cuz he “needed” to borrow my 4wheel drive for the trailor and me and his mom and him spoke for a long time, his parents are precious…

    okay…sorry so long, i feel better now… need to get back to my friend who’s moving..
    will let you know… thank you all you are precious to me!!!!

    Sweet hugs and lots of love and will read your posts soon. hope all is well with your sweet incoragible taurus men! geez! lol smile… xoxoxooxo mia ~

  1170. #1170 by Lioness on February 22, 2010 - 12:24 am

    Mia,
    so glad things are starting to look up for you. You remind me of myself because that is the way I feel as well if a man wants someone else have at it let me alone and be with her! I told my t-man on his alias that I wished him all the best and hoped everything was going well for him and am happy he has someone! He took a few minutes to respond back and he said thanks. I feel like I can get to him by just being sweet as pie and not giving a shit what he does or who with and just support his idea on things. Like the old saying you can catch more flys with honey than salt! So I am going to be the bestest friend he ever had lol and wish him well in all he does because he deserves it!!!!!

  1171. #1171 by Mia on February 22, 2010 - 6:36 am

    Hey all,

    well i was calm, until I left you guys and went back to her apt to finish moving and he came back with the gal and his friend to “help”…

    Jane, did just read ur post and that is very sweet about ur guy. He definitely is into u, and oh sweetie how i know about the arms length on the couch, opposite ends! yes! uh, hm just Friday nite at my house? yup. oh but in my case it was after got very intimate… he wanted me to dress up so i had a cute black/green print dress, hose and heels and something sexy underneath… took him 1 minute before he grabbed me kissing me soooo deeply, oh i was melting into him… that is something about us, we melt into each other…

    Jane, ur guy picked a flower for you ? oh wow, ur waaay farther ahead than me!!! you say but mine is intimate with me? are u kidding me? i would much rather him have an emotional connection with me like yours, because that is ur base for the relationship. not sex. it is harder to go from sex to emotional… but I am not beating myself up, i HAVE NEVER come on to him. He has always from the very beginning… even now, I don’t throw myself at him. I just sat next to him and he was like a wild animal, but each time he is getting more of an emotional connection because he is ACTUALLY kissing me, where as before he never kissed me, never hugged me … now he kisses me deeply.

    Jane, u hang in there it is so hard i know. the problem i find is when they come on strong we are happy and attracted to them, but then the moment we gain interest they retreat, or in MY CASE go to another gal.

    Lioness, yes to urs, and yup, i so agree with u. i so hope things work out for you. u do sound like me, in that he knows he has you so he doesn’t change. i have the same effect on my guy, but in my case, it is like when he starts to have feelings for me, he calls up the other gal and does stuff with her.

    I JUST NOW realize his pattern and it’s killing me here.

    He texted me asking if we are still at the apt. so guess he cared about me and the gal i’m moving, but i think he poured more into her move because i was involved and she will be living with me for a few weeks…

    I have to post once more, needing ur advice so much, think i am going to HAVE TO confront him…

  1172. #1172 by Jane on February 22, 2010 - 7:52 am

    Lioness

    Oh sweet lioness, my goodness this guy is just so testing you!!
    You are SOOOO right with what you said about being his friend, nothing else. That way you protect you from this crazy โ€˜aliasโ€™ stuff and you let him โ€˜really see youโ€™ for who you are, sweet, caring, feminine which these guys just love!!

    Your guy for sure I would say has been very hurt in his past, he testing you all the time with hisโ€ฆโ€™I feel like having sexโ€™ โ€˜I am moving in with her in a monthโ€™. He wanting reaction all the time, he very insecure.
    So lioness if you really want to stick around and see how things go, then I would say that is your best way for him to notice you, being his โ€˜friendโ€™ goodness me I should know!!! Lol
    9 months and we have been โ€˜friendsโ€™ since around last August, we are getting closer day by day as he gets to know and trust me, bit by bit he letting his guard down. I notice it and feel it from him. These guys take forever, they will not rush for anything, so if you really want this then stick it out. I would say be careful and protect your heart though, especially with how he is at the moment and how he has these โ€˜aliasesโ€™ he not being himself. It may take him seeing you โ€˜consistentโ€™ in your approach before he will give that up. I know thatโ€™s how my guy is.
    They check you out at every opportunity, just be yourself lioness, if he likes what he sees he will not let you go. I do hope things work out for youโ€ฆ.x

  1173. #1173 by Mia on February 22, 2010 - 9:56 am

    Jane,
    I just read your post to Lioness and it gives me some hope but i still need ur advice please…

    okay. my mind and heart are telling me that i should wade mine out too.

    yours from last August, mine from last June!

    i did call him tonight to confront him. Luckily the call failed, was it a sign to hold off… yes indeed i feel. wait 24 hours when you are calm… but he texted back telling me he is sorry he missed my call. then he called me back all within 10 minutes. that is good yes?

    he said he was resting, he offered me to go to the walgreens by him when i said i needed a walgreens 24/7 for my son’s prescription and then i just told him about the move and her living with me, and started crying after he started telling me i may have bitten off more than i can chew (yet he i think was proud that i offered my home to her, i know he was because i could not turn my back on my friend… ) but i asked him to be more positive, and apologized for crying saying i was just tired and needed sleep after long weekend move… he i think could not handle my words breaking up into a cry and just said, ‘okie dokie’ and hung up. i texted him telling him i was sorry for crying and felt like an idiot, that i can’t handle people who cry in front of me… wishg him a nice sleep. no reply.

    he spent practically the entire day with the gal pal, he spent an hour calling for wrecker service for her, scouring her car, helping her, making sure she was okay, talking with her, totally avoiding me, then leaving with her in his truck, DID NOT TELL ME SQUAT what he was doing, but must have taken her to the car place, then they went to eat with them and his friend, then back to help my friend move, then they all left without ONE WORD TO ME… they were laughing, it was nauseating…

    i acted friendly to them but was busy cleaning away…
    now remember this is the guy that just had mind blowing s** two nights ago and spend over 2 hours at his parent’s house last nite… today I practically did not exist …

    today shocks me. yesterday shocks me, she is “correcting” him like they are a couple yesterday, he was telling the whole group the places they went to they went here and there… yes, my “m” and the gal pal, LAST SUNDAY.. i had NO IDEA he was calling her up on the side while dating me taking her places! I am beyond floored.

    please give me advice?

    he himself told me this: When u spend time with someone, they might get the wrong impression and think u may have feelings for them?

    i want to ask him: why do you wish to date me when you are actively seeking out the company of another woman on a regular basis?

    if you wish to date me and after all these months you say you only date one gal at a time and you are only dating me, please don’t go out with other girls, sorry, i don’t have a problem if you take the gal pal home when her car is broken, i do have a problem with you spending the entire afternoon with her and i do have a problem when i hear her correcting your ‘stories’ when now i see that you spent last Sunday with her…

    my point is, i don’t date a guy for more than 7 months, or be intimate with him if i do not consider it a possible serious relationship. you can be with whomever you wish, but please do not seek out the company of female companionship while you are dating me, if you want to continue spending one on one time with the gal pal, then i will not stand in your way. and not sure what it means when you say you are dating only me?…

    thanks Jane and everyone!
    sorry it is very late and i’m an emotional wreck…

    sending love but these are sad hugs… ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
    love, mia ~ xoxox
    sorry i don’t mean to be a downer and i pray all are in great shape with their sweet taurus guys…

  1174. #1174 by Jane on February 22, 2010 - 2:55 pm

    Mia

    Oh sweet Mia, do not cry, although yes your tears are fuled by over emotion and lack of sleep!!
    I will first of all say this to you, me and my Taurus first met back in May last year, we in a on/off relationship until August and he switched it to โ€˜friendsโ€™ and we been in that mode since, although since xmas it S L O W L Y heading in right direction and towards relationship. All his doing and pace!!

    So back to you, this is clearly not working for you as it is, you said in earlier post that you not jealous of this woman and him, you clearly are and quite rightly so, I know I would be. You are so right, here you both are having โ€˜mind blowing sexโ€™ as you call it (lol how goods that) and he all over this girl and her to him too, right there in front of you. Yes they sound like friends but I know just like you, the closeness, her finishing his sentences, correcting him ect is down right nauseating. Mia, what screams out here is first of all 1. Does this girl know what you have with him? After all she may see him as available, which if thatโ€™s the case then you need to know where you stand with him coz my dear Mia you donโ€™t want to be FWB girl!! I know you donโ€™t want that.
    2. What is he telling her about you? (if at all) 3. What does he THINK you want? He may think you happy with things as they are. That is the question you need to answer to yourself!!??

    Mia if you are thinking of throwing the towel in anyway, then you have nothing to lose by talking to him about this. What is your alternative? I would not recommend you say anything to her as your issue is with him.
    I imagine that this guy could well be keeping his options open coz he thinks you donโ€™t want more or he testing your reaction on how he is around her, if he thinks you ok with it, what message are you giving him? Taurus likes to see a bit of jealousy now and then as it tells them you care.
    Of course you need to protect โ€˜youโ€™ here, of course that is paramount and you must do what you feel is right for you.
    It seems you need to know what this guys intentions are before you go any further.
    Mia, I have responded to based on this being me and how I know I would feel, so of course you adapt my thought to how you feel inside yourself.

    Chin up sweet Mia, my guess is you really like this guy and you are feeling vulnerable to reveal your feelings to him, understandable but hey you know just like I do wait for Taurus and you be waiting eternity, he needs a โ€˜littleโ€™ nudge in right direction and you may need to give him that.
    Bottom line is it has got to be better than carrying on with it the way it is!! Right!!??

  1175. #1175 by Lioness on February 22, 2010 - 3:03 pm

    Jane and Mia,
    thanks for your advice yes I do as well believe this man is trying any way he can to test me out and sometimes to see what I feel about things I can tell he is doing it he will act like he forgot something about me and then as me again to see about an answer well my thing is it is yahoo he is doing this on he hasnt been real truthful with me and plays these games so sometimes I may say a little white lie now and then but feel bad for doing so. Yes, my taurus man was hurt very badly his ex wife of like 17 years cheated on him with a friend. Ever since then I have only known him to have within the year I have known him about 1 serious relationship that lasted about 4 months. Apparently that is how long him and this girl have been dating for now is that long as well and he is ready to give up his place and move in. The thing I dont understand about it why wait a month to move in what is going to happen for sure if you were so in love and wanted to be with someone wouldnt you just start packing your things and move? and have the apartment bare possibly till you give your notice? It doesnt make alot of sense to me at all. But I do notice a difference about how this man talks to me he is more gentleman like and hardly ever swears say anything out of line if he does he apologizes. He is always liking the beauty such as painted nails what color, wearing dresses with heels doing my hair and makeup and wearing perfume. I dont get it at all with these creatures always testing you always working behind the scenes so you won’t know anything is up. From what I have read if a taurus man did not like you he wouldnt bother with you at all he wouldn’t talk to you at all would avoid you and etc. Mia sorry to hear what you are going through I know exactly how you are feeling mine wants to talk to me for 3 hours at a time and such or at least an hour if he is busy or tired or whatever and then goes to god knows where and is with that girl and I am just like whatever but like you I always wonder if things are really just a show anymore because if you are with someone and esp. some taurus men why are you going to be talking seriously to another girl for hours on end? Mia I have also read that he needs rope as well so when he is going out with this girl tell him ok hope you have fun and call me whenever! That means you are so sure of yourself (even tho you dont act like it lol) and you are trusting him to do whatever. From what I gathered from my taurus he finds it sexy that some women are confident and independant. He doesnt like clingyness and he for sure doesnt like emotional wrecks. They do like however for smart women to pretend to be dumb and do the whole damsel in distress thing like asking about cars if you need one and you dont know anything about them. Also, if you have something wrong in your house or apt. that you need fixed right away and the list goes on. They like to help people and they also like to feel needed and loved. I want to so badly tell him how I really feel but feel that he is just going to run with it and use it against me somehow but it really is starting to eat me up inside and I cant help it anymore. Mia from what I hear taurus men sometimes fail to realize what they have in front of them till much later on maybe you need to step back out of the pic for awhile tell him you just want to be friends and nothing more and dont contact him see if he comes to you if he does you are weighing on his mind and he does like you. I think he is doing the push and pull thing with you as well when you get too close he starts working behind the scenes with another woman so it makes him not so available and he hides behind her so he doesnt have to feel anything and all he gets is a fun time in return. It wont last long I am telling you if he werent interested in you and wanted to be with that girl why even bother continue to talk to you then he wouldnt taurus men do things for their own benefit its all about them. So I wish you ladies a good day and goodluck!

  1176. #1176 by saggi girl on February 22, 2010 - 3:29 pm

    hi ladies,

    i am sorry that i do not have good news to bring into this site today as i broke up with my taurus last night and felt awful..

    things have been ups and down along the way as you all know with my taurus. most recently, we have been fighting a lot over small things and i just felt like that he can not be there in a way that i wanted him to be.. i have been disppointment over a lot of things and i knew like he said that he did his best…

    that is what happened:

    on friday night, he texted me ” baby, good night with kisses and will talk to you tomorrow and hope your day was good.” then i texted him back wishing him the same..
    then i went out on saturday to check the apartment and in the afternoon, he texted me like” hi, baby, busy day and hope your day is good.” then i texted him back telling him that what i have been doing whole day…and i cancelled one application on a apartment and found another one..” then he did not respond and i did not expect for him to respond.. then when it was 9pm, then i called him and he did not answer the phone.. then it reached 10pm, then i thought it was too late for him to call to chat as he stated in the message that he will talk to me today( from the message on friday night). then i texted him to say good night.. but he did not reply, then i thought that was so unusual of him for not replying as he normally does.. then i waited until 11pm, then i texted him” are you ok?” he was still not replying, then i started worrying if he was ok.. then i called him twice again and texted him another message asking if he was ok…he did not reply until 11:45pm” baby, i was ok and do not worry. good night with kisses. and see you tomorrow.” then i called him right away, he did not answer, then i texted him like” i am glad that you are ok, i am going to sleep now.. i might need to do something tomorrow and do not know if i can see you.. tired. with kisses..”

    next day( on sunday), he called me in the morning and was cold on the phone, i can tell..then he said” what was wrong with you last night.. you lost control and you really needed to settle down… i can deal with that in the future.. i went out with a friend, actually a guy from work called me and we went for a couple of beer and talk about the change at work… .” then i was like” you said you are going to call me.” then he said” i did not say that.” then i was like” you texted me on friday night said that you will talk to me on saturday.” then he was like” well, i texted you earlier in the afternoon and let you know that i was busy and ok… why you texted me 4 times and 3 calls during the night? if you do that again, then i will shut off my phone. sometimes, life changes.. i did not call you but i texted you in the afternoon.. then i was like” you should have known me better that i will worry if you dont call as you promised.. ” then he was like” i do not want to talk about it. then i finally texted you last night.. then you called me again and texted me saying that you do not want to see me today, fine. i got something to do too… i can not see you today either..” then i was like” fine, bye.”

    then i called him back as i was so mad that he was accusing me of being lost control and being crazy.. he did not answer and then i texted him again wanting to talk, then he did not answer either, then i called again( i know i was doing too much of those but i was really mad).. then he texted me back in 45 minutes like” be careful, get your day going..we will talk later. do not call me until tonight as i will be busy too. i can’t deal with this now.”

    then he called me during the night at 8:15pm, was basically asking me how my day was.. how was my apartment hunting.. then we both kept silence..then he said” well, i guess maybe we can talk next time.. i do not know what to say.” then i was like” maybe, i can say something, can you listen?” then he was like” ok, brifely.” then i was like” i don’t know why we fighted a lot recently.” then he was like” i know why.” then i was like” what is it?” then he was like” things got out of control, and imbalanced. you felt like that you are not being treated fairly..” then i was like” what you think?” then he was like” i did my best. i think it is true that you care about me more than i care about you. i do love you but i can not love you more… i don’t know what to do..it was obviously you are not happy.” then i was like” are you happy?” then he was like” not now but i do not know what to do.’ then i was like” maybe, we should take a break.” then he was like” i do not know…maybe, yeah, i think it is a good idea..we take a break for a while” then i was like: yeah, we should.” then he was like” we will stay in touch during the week, maybe call for a couple of times to make sure both of us are safe..do not rush into any decisions as we do not want to make wrong decisions..” then i was like” how about we don’t contact each other for a few months.. if we still wanted to be each other, then we..” then he was mad” what? a few months? are you kidding me? if you do not want to talk to me for a few months, why don’t we end now? you are pushing me away from you by doing that..if you want to end it, just end it. so, i will pull you out of my heart and pull you out of my life.. i won’t even think about it. you talk to someone else, i talk to someone else, we both move on..” then i was like” do you want to end it?” then he was like” i told you that i wanted to take a break for a while…” then he was like” you just can not make up your mind what you do…i told you not to call me like that again and you did again this morning.. like you can even find a place to stay but jumping around at the wrong places.. then i was mad and told him to stop attacking me.. you can not judge relationship and involved other matter in it.. i just want to make sure that i have a nice place to stay.. then we both raised our voice, then he said” i do not want to listen..you know what, let us take a break.” then i was like” yeah, you know what, let us end it now. good luck.” then he did not say anything and hung it up…

    ladies, i dont know what to do.. i am so hurt.. and did not sleep well last night.. i think he put me into a situation that he wants to stay in touch but did not want to do more to make me happy( like he said that i felt being treated unfaily, but he said that he did his best and did not know what to do?” then what is the point to stay in touch if we can not solve the problem… somebody shed some light on my situation? please… thanks

  1177. #1177 by Jane on February 22, 2010 - 4:14 pm

    Lioness

    Hi, your guy has been through a lot of heartache, these guys along with all the usual Taurus traits (many of them!!) have a very hard time trusting people anyway but when wounded too well they are much harder to get over things than any average guy.

    I think what I have noticed with Taurus also is us ladies may have hurt, trust issues from our past also and these guys in there selfishness will not for one minute consider that, it is about purely them and them only until they start having feelings for you and they then soften there approach. Their fear takes over, not that they would admit it like!!
    Your guy is not behaving typical Taurus talking to you the way he does and saying he moving in with other girl. If he that serious about her then he would not be talking to you that way.
    Maybe, sit back and observe him, learn him and study him for a while and see how things go. He sounds very confused to me. Think of what you need lioness, you are important here x

  1178. #1178 by Jane on February 22, 2010 - 4:41 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hey, I have missed you but was not expecting your return this way.
    I am so sorry to hear what has been happening for you and your guy.
    I canโ€™t help but think you both just got in a โ€˜rutโ€™ for a while and maybe you both right with โ€˜taking a breakโ€™.
    I am not a fan of โ€˜taking a breakโ€™ as for me I would much rather face it head on, but you and your guy have been together so long and both have a lot to lose with each other and should not just toss this away.
    It may be what you both need at the moment. Saggi girl it will give you both time to think over what you both want and need and also really importantly give you time to miss each other and to both calm down.
    It will give you both a clearer perspective, you owe each other and the relationship that much.

    Please donโ€™t be upset (easier said than done) you are clearly angry and upset with him you say โ€˜he want to stay in touch but not do more to make me happyโ€™ Saggi girl you are both responsible here, you both not making each other happy here at the moment and you both say things you donโ€™t mean in spare of the moment.
    It is sounding like he is not meeting your expectations Saggi girl!?
    Like he disappoints you!? He sounds like he realises that when he say โ€˜I do my bestโ€™ Maybe he not feeling he good enough for you and it spilling over to frustration on both yours and his part making you both fight a lot recently.

    He was mad at your suggestion at no contact for a few months, he does not sound like he wants to break up to me and you sound like you just want a little bit more from him. Saggi girl I would say you and your guy can both come through this fine if you both do the most important thingโ€ฆ.. Honest Communication!! REALLY!! I mean you each in turn listen to the others needs, I mean REALLY listen and here what the other is saying without interruption. This of course can only happen if you both want it to continue. You both need to reavaluate the relationship and your needs coz you both deserve to be heard and be happy. Saggi girl, please keep me posted I really do hope with all my heart you can both come back from this. We are all here for support.
    Hey, remember nice and calm!! No drama, just focus on what you need and deserve. Good luck sweet saggi girl BIG BIG HUGS to you xx

  1179. #1179 by Mia on February 22, 2010 - 5:01 pm

    Sweet gals, Jane, Lioness, Saggi girl, and all,

    First, our taurus men are idiots!!! as I’m reading about their commitment issues, phobia-commitment issues, insecure, insecure which weighs their own self esteem, well, ladies, we shant let them pull down OURs in the process now shall we? geez. one of us has to be the sane one! is it him or is it me?? lol, yup, HIM !!!!

    Saggi girl, NOOOOOOO!!!!! I’m reading yours now not finished, i feel terrible for you, my heart is aching for you now. ohhhhh it blows my situation out of the water and makes mine seem so tiny, like i haven’t as issue, ohhhhhhh holding and hugging you now… i am sick for you… and really sick as i called in today, sorry, lol, i don’t mean to joke but need to get some rest from emotions and my friend move.

    Saggi, please stay with us for a while if u feel u can. U are precious to us and we want for ur emotional self first and foremost not just because of ur relationship, this site is about the well being of urselves too, and how we can help each other gain insight as to how to build up ourselves with or without a guy in my book!

    Sending sweet loving hugs to you Saggi girl…
    will finish reading ur post now and please know we are here for you. xoxoxoxxo

  1180. #1180 by saggi girl on February 22, 2010 - 5:40 pm

    Jane,

    thanks for your comfort and i am so hurting now.. i am at work but can not concentrate on it…oh, god, it was so hard..

    i do not know what to think now..i am angry and upset and hurt… all kind of combination emotion. am glad that you guys are here..

    i almost sent him a text this morning and actually i woke up very earlier like 4 am,, did not have a good sleep.. i wrote what i wanted to send but saved it without sending it.. i do not know and just felt like that i wasted my 2 years of time thinking things will work out in the future..

    he was just too selfish or maybe he does not care how i felt… i think i do need to disappear for now from him.. this way he won’t think less or short of me…

    i think he was not ready to break up with me totally but what is the point of staying in touch but without changing everything from his side…
    let me share with you about the text that i almost sent out this morning:” i am sorry for whatever it is that i put you through recently. i know that things are lost in balance and you did try your best to make me happy. thank you for that. honestly i was just so afraid to see our relationship to fall apart after 2 and half years together especially that we never left each other’s side when something important happened in our lives. it means a lot to me and i believe you feel the same. i don’t know what else to say but i guess i didn’t do well when i tried to hold things together. i got scared and thought that you wanted to leave me after you thought of converting to judiams and hate to admit my insecurity to all those changes. but i think instead, i showed it to you trying to get reassurance to ease up. sorry for that again. i agree that we need to take a break for a while and figure things out and stay in touch and also learn to appreciate more than to hurt the other person. ending a relationship is a big decison and let’s not make it now. do you agree?”

    well, i did not send it.. i wrote this when i was vulnerable this morning…

  1181. #1181 by saggi girl on February 22, 2010 - 5:41 pm

    Mia,

    thank you to… i know you are good at analyzing stuff.. could you shed some light on it??? i know i should calm down but my hurt took it over my calm nature now…

  1182. #1182 by Jane on February 22, 2010 - 6:06 pm

    Saggi girl

    God bless you and your Taurus right now.
    I thought your text was very โ€˜movingโ€™ and โ€˜sensitiveโ€™ Saggi girl and said from the heart; maybe I am not the right person to ask advice about your text coz I would send it! The reason I would send it is I would want him to know what I am feeling, that I am thinking of him too and that I do not want to give up, certainly not yet. As I said, he sounds like he feels he not good enough for you and may just appreciate what you have to say. The only part of it I may consider with you is the โ€˜apologyโ€™ of you not holding things together, yes I agree you have your part to play in this but it most certainly is not all your fault, you both responsible for holding relationship together and you both responsible now for where it is going. You could apologise for your part in it all, that way you leave it open for him to recognise his part without you saying it to him or criticizing him.

    Think things through Saggi girl, donโ€™t rush in to anything that you may regret later after all this is your future here and you have both come along way together.
    At least if you both try and it doesnโ€™t work out you can walk away knowing you did all you could, that way no regrets. Keep strong, think about what you really want and see can you both meet half wayโ€ฆ..

  1183. #1183 by Mia on February 22, 2010 - 6:24 pm

    Saggi, ah but i have been through this before and i blew it…

    but not with my guy now! i nailed it!!! yup.

    do not send note.

    do not send your note yet!!!

    will send you another now..

    you must REMAIN POSITIVE… please keep those sweet thoughts on your guy, will write you in a minute…

  1184. #1184 by Mia on February 22, 2010 - 6:34 pm

    oh wow!!!

    ladies, Saggi, jane,

    i am crying now it is sweet

    my guy just sent me a message an hour ago and here is what it said, “Mia” , “how are you doing? “m”

    he remembered me crying so emotional last night and is so sweet. you see??? i swallowed my stuff about “the gal pal” and remember he hasn’t given me ANY INDICATION that he does not want me in his life.

    i don’t care about her and i do trust him, so i so feel the need to let this go… remember until WE ARE BOYFRIEND / GIRLFRIEND i really don’t have the right, that one guideline i just remembered may have saved me cuz i am telling u gals this relationship won’t end for me not doing my part learning the healthiest way … yup.

    now saggi,

    wait 24 hours, then wait another 24 hours, remember and i do NOT HAVE TO TELL YOU, you know this… when u are silent men feel the empty space you left, they miss you…

    one more that i already started writing…

    but when you do communicate with him you will agree with him!!! you will agree that a little break may be okay but you say this, “you are right, communicating throughout week sounds good” something like that… do not say to check on each other, DO NOT SOUND too nurturing now… you will tell him the truth, short and sweet, about u felt u were slowly loosing him since he told you he is thinking of judiasm, which you totally support him on, yup, he will so respect you for that you know…

    I’ll send the other…

    blessings to you!!!

    Saggi, he hasn’t left you!!! i can feel you will get back together very shortly but you will have to relax and allow him to communicate with you when you do get back…

    here is my next one…

    mia xooxo

  1185. #1185 by Mia on February 22, 2010 - 7:13 pm

    Here is the one i was writing earlier:
    Saggi girl, Jane is right, and I can pretty much tell from ur post that he will be back to you real soon. He i can tell is crazy for you. i see it as a communication issue and i am finding u may have some angst/resentment that here you are apt hunting, he knows this and no support, maybe in ur mind u are wishing he would have called u during work and asked to meet u, be with u, talk with you, just support ur odeal of apt hunting.. yes i know he was with u “interogating” the landlords? lol, but i just feel u are tired now and reeeeeeallly need his support… it is typical, us women really don’t know why we are upset but suddenly it is locked in stone if they say they will call and they don’t that is one HUGE strike agains them on our emotional notebook…

    now with the guy, it is ONE HUGE strike against us if we attempt to hold them to their promise, the 3 calls, the 3 texts, and us gals just get more mad as we give our power to the guys and finally they fly off the handle (Taurus especially) “threatening” us they will shut off the phone if we ever do that again! and we are thinking, “are you kidding me? how dare you think that! a tiny call speaks volumes but they have not a clue how to understand how ONE tiny gesture can make our day…

    i soooo know Saggi. but u gain ur power back, u already are doing waaaaaaaaaaaay better than i would in that situation. u are so strong!!!

    I just did some research here and I’m finding a pattern here…

    it seems he seeks time with her when he is UPSET with me or when he thinks i am upset with him…. hmmmm… yup, he was snapping at me yesterday when i tried to help with the gal pal’s car, when i was worrying for the safety of them with lifting things… yet, he does these things despite me, yesterday in front of my face, and Saturday nite he was uncomfortable eating, would not share a booth with me, cuz that would make it look like we are too close, and the gal pal gave me a funny look when i said jokingly, “ah u have to take up both seats in the booth eh? geez’ they pulled another table up so i had a chair beside him…

    My guy did text me when he got his new phone. i do remember him calling me up when he got his new cover for the phone… hm.. i just don’t think he would have done either of those if he was serious about seeking time with the gal pal.

    and i can remember OVERHEARING him telling the gal pal he had me park up close to him so no one would steal the trailor, AH HA! you see!!! she was “inquiring” what took him so long to go into the restaurant, and DID HE ask her to park close to him??? HA! there ya go! lol…

    Saggi, here is my new part of this post, you PAMPER yourself now… wait about 3 days, then contact him, don’t write a journal to him…

    short and sweet.

    if you want him back you need to agree that he is right on everything, like he is right you did over react with all the calls and messaging and that you’re glad he went out for beers with his co-worker to get stuff off their chest about work crap. speak on your insecurity about his religion denomination choice but you thank him for considering his questions to his religious mentors or whomever they are about if his future and how the choice would affect marriage… please take particular note of each word and context i am using here… your word choices are highly important. you want to sound generic about his marriage, don’t personalize this to say, you and me getting married, i want you back, please don’t break up, oh that is a HUGE MISTAKE…

    you want this note short simple with respectful gestures to his time (apologizing for your text but felt the need to let him know you respectfully agree with him)

    you end the note sending him nice thoughts and you also address the “weaknesses” he sees in you like, you are right, i do tend to over-react when i am stressed, then give him some tiny goal in this area that you have accomplished like, I’m reading this cool book about stress and anxiety which we all get from time to time, and i’ve already tried 3 things and they work. I feel more calm have already narrowed to 3 choices in the apt. (then that is all… you see? you have left him with info that you have already started accomplishing the very thing that angst him of you… which is to not continually contact him when things are not going your way, but NEXT time when he says how is your day going…. you just simple text, “very well, thank you hope ur day is going great too!”

    do NOT give him particulars on your apt hunting next time, wait until he asks you… he needs to pull info from you, not you giving it to him and then holding him to every word, it constricts him and when he feels space and love and happiness and you getting your goals done! within your set time frames for yourself, you are the woman of his dreams!!! especially when you go the rest of the day and the next without hearing from him at all and your last text was wishing him well… once you reply to him, no more until he contact you again..

    you can do this Saggi! i so wished we all lived close to call each other up when we get the urge to hold them “accountable” so we could all do lunch and vent and our guys would be alll over us, !!!! ha!

    wishing you well Saggi girl you can do this… breathe, you are gorgeous, he is NOT going to give you up !!! he will contact you but you wait at least 3 days, give him space now and both of you are silently communicating now with your space! HE IS THINKING OF YOU NOW probably every moment of the day, but guess you would laugh if i said he was balling like a girl each night, hee hee, yup we want our guys sensitive but we don’t want them that mushy! geez! we also don’t want them begging and crying to take them back, eeghads… so you are the same, we are not wet fish on his doorstep, he has to catch us!!!

    you will be fine Saggi, but you eat ice cream, you get some zzzzzzzzzzz ‘s like i need to do now… i need a nap… you need your omega 3s for depression… flax seeds! lots of protein and YOU MUST think POSITIVE and try very hard to learn a new hobby now, or pick up something you haven’t done before.

    i felt really back with my guy and just saw a note come in from work that a huge problem had been solved at work that I was ultimately responsible for!!! yup! talk about boosting your self esteem and confidence! you need to do this Saggi, do something to make you feel good about yourself, i know you can!!!!

    hugs and lots lots of sweet love for you precious Saggi and Jane, Lioness, Lionsroar, Jess, Capi and everyone… mia xoxoxo

  1186. #1186 by Lioness on February 22, 2010 - 7:54 pm

    Hello girls,
    Saggi so sorry to hear what is going on maybe some space will help you guys figure out what is going on. Jane thanks for the advice am not sure what to do from here he is not talking to me today I think I ticked him off last night and I see a pattern with him as well he will talk to me for hours then go cold and I wont hear from him for awhile. Not sure guess it is the push and pull thing and I have about given up on him to begin with. Mia I am sure everthing will work out for you your man sounds alot like mine and when things get out of control with you two he goes to another woman and hides behind her. I am a strong person anyways but I cant deal with how they want to be aloof all the time and mysterious I need someone right when I need them and he doesnt do that for me and probably never will.
    I am just going to sit back from now on and not do anything anymore esp when he wants to talk about sex I am just going to cut that conversation off. He got mad at me last night because I had lied to him about being with others and really wasnt I wanted to see his reaction awhile ago with that and he got jealous and ticked off he has never confronted me on it but when he asked me how long it has been since I have had some and I told him I dont even want to discuss it he got cold and short right quick.

  1187. #1187 by Jane on February 22, 2010 - 9:29 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi Saggi girl, I have just read Miaโ€™s post to you and whilst she is right and I do understand her โ€˜tacticsโ€™ to deal with this. I do think it is a bit different for you than it would be for Mia or for me for that matter, you see you have been in a relationship/commitment with your guy for 2 and half years therefore the way you deal with this should be different.

    This of course is just my view, and what I think. I mean not giving him too much information with regard to apartment search, holding back on info with your feelings ect is ok if you not in established relationship but you and your guy are, thatโ€™s why I think you both past all that stuff of point scoring!! If you know what I mean? Mia has a point with the โ€˜spaceโ€™ thing though and allowing him to feel that and miss you. I do agree that he be thinking about you right now, that is a cert.
    I have been following your posts for a long time and really do feel your problem between eachother at the moment is โ€˜communicationโ€™ and that is all, you both donโ€™t hear eachother and get lost in the upset and anger that comes from the frustration. I do think you will both be fine and will sort things in no time at allโ€ฆ.Keep smiling Saggi girl

  1188. #1188 by saggi girl on February 22, 2010 - 10:56 pm

    Jane and Mia

    thank you so much for your support and give me a should to cry on.. i really hope we live closely to one another, so we can hang out to give each other’s support…

    you are so wonderful for supporting me and i will check back with your posts when i felt a little better later…but it seems that i am not a great person to give suggestion as i failed my relationship…

    i know, i think i do need to give him the space for a few days.. then i might contact him or not.. i will see how i feel by then.. but i did tell him at the end of conversation that i ended the relationship.. and do not know how he will take it.. i think he won’t call me anymore.. as he was a very pride person..

    thanks again and hope you are all well.

  1189. #1189 by saggi girl on February 22, 2010 - 10:57 pm

    oh, i mean shoulder.. not should.. sorry..

  1190. #1190 by Jess on February 23, 2010 - 12:57 am

    saggi girl,

    Jane really give you the best advice which fit best on your situation and I specially agree with her on this one ………..’HONEST COMMUNICATION’,!! REALLY!! I mean you each in turn listen to the others needs, I mean REALLY listen and here what the other is saying without interruption.

    May I add though that I also agree with your guy that you obviously are not happy with him. I doubt if you get back together again but the issue of unsatisfied need is still there how long it would last until the next time you can’t take it anymore and you know saggi girl it’s next to impossible to get Taurus to CHANGE…

    Sometimes you seek equality and balance in the relationship but in reality even in real world there is always one who always give/love/ more than the other. And in the relationship area, most of the time its the women who tolerate more and when something need to be changed, again its the ladies who change to their men for the relationship to work out. Don’t ask me why because I can’t go in details discussing about psychology and how women vs men brain function but there is a trend calling for women to rather be dependent and alone than to put up with such shit. And the trend is still the trend while the real word also keep chasing besides you.

    Its you who know best your inside, you and your man’s attitude and personality. You know what works for you and what does not. You know what bring happiness to you and what does not.

    Now you are hurt and very tired but please NO NEED to be in a rush to fix thing for being afraid of losing him, or to cut him him lose for being afraid of losing self respect and sanity. Take all the time you need and think what is best for YOU. Contact him or Cut him just when you are ready, nothing is too late, even so its always better late than sorry.

    Take care of yourself and your soul saggi girl, and good luck on your decision. Remember you always have our support here!

  1191. #1191 by Capricorn lady on February 23, 2010 - 8:38 am

    Well little update here on my side ..

    My mother is going very fast feeling sick ..
    I did not contact my taurus sinds fryday ..He text me yesterday with some good news about the weather i was not able to text him back so last night i called him he did not awnser but called me back a little later ..

    We talked about a few things his mother survived canser but he knew how it felt the care of losing her mad him crazy ..

    I Said i,ll be fine i,m a tuff girl but he knows better …
    So around midnight i text him that;

    Yes ofcourse i,m dying inside ,but i have two kids so i have to watch my steps ..And thanks for being there for me ,i might not show it all the time but i do love you very much so thanks for being there for me sweet kiss …

    Stupid i know telling him that i love him but now that my mother is dying i felt like telling him,it was something i needed to do …And he did respond to me this morning by saying it,s not nothing and if i had any sleep last night ..

    So no caving away WOW ..

    I never expected him to be there as much as this for me .
    Especialy not caving away afther i tell him i love him ..

    I text him back asking him how he slept and he told me he had a nightmare but afther 2 coffee he felt better again and he is at work now …

    So thats it for now getting of very tired

    love and peace

    capi

  1192. #1192 by Jane on February 23, 2010 - 2:10 pm

    Capricorn lady

    Hi and god bless you capi, you are being so strong even though yes a very very difficult time and you have your children to consider too.

    It is not stupid you told your guy you love him, you reaching out to him, he is there for you and that is fine. Yes he has taken what you said and not retreated to โ€˜caveโ€™ so he accepted from you, he understands so do not worry.

    Continue and manage day by day, that is all you an do, I am so sorry for you, such an awful situation to be dealing with, I feel your pain as I went through same.
    Remember we are all here, take care of yourself too. God bless you and your family and god bless you โ€˜mumโ€™ too.

  1193. #1193 by saggi girl on February 23, 2010 - 2:27 pm

    Jess,

    good to hear from you..as i always needed you when i was in trouble.. sorry for being always in trouble.

    i still do not know what to do here and thought he might find somebody else or he might be with somebody else on that night when he did not return my message..i don’t know. but at the same time, i would think it might not be true. if he has someone else, why he still wanted to see me next day too… i got lost.

    honestly, i love him and still and also admit that i love him more than he loved me.. i am ok with it. but the thing is that i felt that he just does whatever he wanted but i can not do it. like he can yell, but if i yell, he will think it is too much for him to handle, it is not good for him..i can tell that this relationship is always about him. sometimes, i felt like that relationship means to me is that stay in contact during the week either call or text, we do not talk a lot now. he will call me every other day but was very short conversation, and will text when the day was not talking. then we see each other on sundays… but i did not see any progress for our relationship..and i felt that we can only talk positive, when it comes to share some negative stuff or need his help, he always let me down as everything has always him first then me…if i want him to do something, he has to check himself first, and then consider me.. was that love? if i love someone, i will help no matter what, i can put my thing down first and go help no matter what. but i am not getting any like that from him.. sometimes, i think he is just selfish..

    i do not know if this time he will call me or not.. maybe he won’t.. but what you said was right is i am still not happy even though he came back as he has already told me that he does not know what to do even though he knows that i am not happy and felt being treated unfairly.. only thing he can say is that he did his best.. is that the only solution he gives…if he does want this relationship to work, why he can not do something about it.. as i would like to try.. so i think he was hinting that he can not give me what i want and he does not care as he did his best..

    i don’t kow Jess. i almost texted him last night but i did not do it… i don’t know what you would do if you were me having a situation like this.. i know i should not have asked around and should make decision on my own.. but i really lost.. even question if he loves me at all.

  1194. #1194 by Jess on February 23, 2010 - 4:11 pm

    saggi girl,

    I try to be around this site but I can’t follow every posts anymore.

    saggi girl, what is your definition of ‘relationship’? You have a picture of how ‘a relationship’ supposed to be, of what a caring lovers supposed to do. so when it’s out of your definition you think he doesnt love you.

    You said if he wants the relationship to work, why he not do something about it? Saggi girl, he always try to make peace with you and always stick with you, isn’t that what he has been trying to keep it going so that it works? because it is to me.

    And what kind of progress you expect from this relationship when you can’t even make it stable through a whole month? when some minor thing is up you have a way to blow it bigger. If you want to make it work, stop that. And stop raising up the ‘taking a break’ line if that is not what you really want. I understand you were overwhelmed with emotion and sensitivity but challenging a bull or a man that way is not getting you anywhere farther.

    When something bother you, open up with him as adult even he can or can not fix it for you but at least let him hear your honest feelings (not the emotional feelings) When something is bad you stay and stick to it and fix it. Taking a break is when you consider you might not work out and want time alone from each other (and you know that is more a breaking up line than a fixing line)

    Try not to mix up the idea of him having someone else that night into this equation, your problem is your unsatisfied need/attention seeking/love assurance. You got more than enough problem to deal with at the moment, do not add up crazy idea to mess with your own security. In my opinion I don’t think he has someone else because a person who got someone else wouldn’t have a mind to deal with you like this. He would split his mind to enjoy time with the other than being there putting up with insecurity…

    saggi girl, when you don’t know what to do, then don’t do anything! (e.g. if you should text him or not) Until you know that you really want to do, then do it. Seriously take time and get sleep until you feel yourself together, ask yourself if that is what you really want ‘taking a break’? or you just raised it up out of anger, if you want to mend thing and get back together when he text you, (which i think he would text you something like: hi, how do you feel, you feel better?) then only reply that you are fine but you miss him… and let the loving heart of both of you take care the rest.

  1195. #1195 by saggi girl on February 23, 2010 - 4:53 pm

    Jess,

    thanks for responding to me again and i am really mad at myself for no knowing what i wanted. Honestly, i really wanted to make it work with him as this is the first time i got so strong feeling about a person. I am at my late 30’s and wanted to have kid and family, i had a marriage before but it did not work out as i got marry for a wrong reason, my ex husgand treated me very well but i do not have love for him.. so i divorced him.. then i told myself that i will not get marry again until i want to get marry because of love.. i never did anything or compromised anything for a guy in my previous relationship even in my marriage, it was always my way…. if things did not get my way, i will blow off or threatening to leave them.. it always works.. until with this taurus guy. I do not know if it because of his unwilingness to go my way trigger my feeling for him or not, honestly i never loved a person like this before.. so i am struggling inside when i want to be myself in the old way but can not due to being afraid of losing him.. i have been struggling like this since begining when i first dated him.. i do not know if it is something wrong with me..

    my fear is that i constantly bring out the marriage issue and kid is because i kept thinking what if he was not serious with me and what if he left me, what if i have to wait for a few years for him when it was too late to have child.. then i am gonna be on my own..old along me… but he was so slow.. i know he cares about me. so, if i followed my heart, then i will stay with him; but if i followed my head and counted all the worries, then i want to find someone else.. but it was just so strange that i just can not leave whenever i initiate this thought of leaving.. my mom and my sister have been pressing me to leave and find a guy who can give me family and kids.. but whenver i thought about doing that, i thought about him.. i don’t know if you will understand me or not..

    that is why i constantly worry and sometimes i talk to him about it. he says that he does not know and he did not even think about marriage yet as he was not ready for that yet as his job was still not stable….and right now he was thinking of converting to another religion. that makes me think that he was just too focus on his own issue and i am just filling into his crack…then i got scared.. i think that is the reason that i have been making drama all along.. as i was struggling inside to look for assurance from any sign he gives me to signify that he will be with me in the future..i don’t know if he sensed it or not..

    that is why he was afraid to see my on sunday as he was afraid that we are going to fight again. on valentines day, as soon as i hop into his car, he asked me” are we going to have a fight today and then ended up your talking to me in the car? if it will be like that, then let us end the day now.” when he said that, it trigers my anger at the same time.. so it goes to bad circle.. he said to end the relationship when we ended up fighting on valenties day, and then later he took it back when i explained to him that i was very vulerable yesterday because it was a holiday for my country, i ended up looking for apartment on my own and spent time with nobody, then he said” sorry, that he did not know that was a holiday for me..” then he said that he did not mean to break up with me and was just a bad reaction..

    i don’t know Jess… i guess i got lost about what i wanted to do.. one side of me, wanted to make it work and stick with him.. but the ohter side of me was afraid that he is going to leave me whenever, then i thought to myself, why not leave him now? and find another one who can give me promise…

    it was just my brainstorming…too long,, sorry

  1196. #1196 by Jane on February 23, 2010 - 9:01 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hey, I do hope you are doing ok saggi girl and still thinking about your situation.

    Jess say to you like I did, when you have a problem, stick with him talk to him like adult even if he cant fix it, at least you telling him, I say similarโ€ฆhonest communication blah blah. It is the only way saggi girl to move forward. You can do this, you know you can but first you have to be clear with what it is you want.

    I agree with jess that your guy does not have someone else, I mean if he did he would have โ€˜runโ€™ when he has had chance from situations you both been in before. Donโ€™t think that way Saggi girl you will drive yourself crazy and at the moment you have enough issue happening so focus on that.

    Saggi girl, what jess said to you is same reason I said what I said to you about your situation different as you been together, committed 2 and half years so you both face this like adults, when you both calm and respectful to each other

    Remember how special you are saggi girl, this guy loves you, you love him you both just need to get back to โ€˜basicsโ€™ meaning back to the beginning with each others feelings and needsโ€ฆI wish you both all the very best. You will be just fine

    Well I am still in limbo mode with my guy, yes we deffo getting closer, I really feel that, him telling me โ€˜I miss you tooโ€™ via text, very new for him and we been spending most Saturdays together. He still physically keeping me at arms length!! Kiss on cheek, and quick one on lips along with hugs so I suppose it is progress really. I just want more from him, even more time.
    He going away for a week next week and off work for 2 weeks and said โ€˜yes be good to spend lots of time togetherโ€™ (I said โ€˜timeโ€™ he said โ€˜lotsโ€™)
    Then this evening he text me to ask me about something he new was worrying me, so I thought stuff it I am going to ring him, I did, he answered!!!! WOW!!
    It was lovely, anyway half hour later, about to hang up and I said I would change my week off work to the same week he off if he would like so we could spend that time we said together!! Well his voice just โ€˜dippedโ€™!! I could tell I had touched a nerve or caught him off guard or something I donโ€™t know but he hesitantly said โ€˜yeah could doโ€™ My god I felt like saying โ€˜donโ€™t force yourselfโ€™!!
    I gave a little nervous laugh, said โ€˜oh see what happensโ€™ and made my excuses to get off the phone coz I thought I was going to cry! (I waited until got off phone and did cry) I donโ€™t get why he was so hesitant. Its times like this I feel like he stringing me along. Oh so fed up!!

    Love to you all, hope you all ok. Keep us posted saggi girl.
    Jess, you such a busy bee!! Miss you not being around. Hope you and your bull well xx

  1197. #1197 by Jess on February 23, 2010 - 9:08 pm

    saggi girl,

    Believe it or not I understand you. And actually you seem to know exactly WHAT YOU WANT that’s why you try to push thing to it. Consider all the condition you have mentioned thats why you seem to focus on the ‘progress’ of the relationship which is the marriage at the end and when the whole thing seems not leading to marriage you think the guy doesn’t love you otherwise he should ‘try’ and ‘work’ harder so that the relationship is progressing to marriage at last.

    Saggi girl, your guy perhaps not seeing it the way you do but it doesnt mean he doesnt love you. Men will not settle and move to the next step if he can’t secure the position he is at (financially, emotionally), while women seek the next step as a way to secure her positon. (ie. engaged or giving rings as a sign the guy is serious)

    I always hear story like this, its a classic equation of mis concept where a man wants to get married when he is happy (when all concern is solved to be with the person he loves), a woman wants to get married when she is not happy (to solve her concern she must be with person she loves)

    saggi girl, instead of pushing him to get what you want, why not making him wanting you so much that he push himself to get for you what you want? when you obviously show the guy how desperate you need attention/assurance and followed by threatening to leave, that is a bad reinforcement and you must have seen or read this sabotage pattern how it finally destroy the relationship

    Instead you can play it with men insecurity and instinct to conquer by being his dream girl and make him want to have you no matter what (that perhaps explain why many guys end up propose and jump to the marriage with the wrong girl to divorce later)

    Ok I may sound too complicate but my point is to show you how you and your guy look at and work on this relationship different ways, but both of you do LOVE each other.

  1198. #1198 by Jess on February 23, 2010 - 9:12 pm

    sorry i got to run so i had to submit my post in a rush, try to be calm and rest saggi girl. Really resting is very important to us because our emotion need to be strong before we can think of anything.

    Will check back with you later,
    Hugs.

  1199. #1199 by saggi girl on February 23, 2010 - 10:05 pm

    hi Jane,

    thanks for your insight and i am trying to clear my head and get myself together even though it is hard… i want to talk to him again if either he calls me or i call him to talk like adult when i calm down in the near future… like you said that 2 and half years are not very short period to just drop like that.. it is hard to pull him out of my heart like he said that he would…

    regarding to your situation, i would say it is normal.. as in the past, whenever i wanted to make some plan for both of us was like pulling a teeth out of him.. it confused me a lot by the time thinking that he does not want to spend time with me… i have to admit that they are not the normal guys showing their feeling on their face, so it makes hard to figure out their true intention.

    We have been together for 2 and half years, we just had the understanding that we were seeing each other on every sundays( it was fixed), he does not have to call or i do not have to ask, as it will be in the schedule.. but it takes 2 and half years..sometimes, i still think that he does not want to squeez sometime for me..i would think that if you have time to go to the bookstore to study, why not to come to see me? but i guess for them is different…

    I have a guy friend who was interested in me most recently, I called him yesterday to talk about my moving by the end of the month, he immediately asked me if i need help…then i thought about my taurus, he will never volunteer to do that, he will probably do it when you ask him and he will say” i think it will be ok, but not sure, i will let you know later..” i guess guys are different, it is easy to deal with a guy with their answer for you right away like my guy friend… i don’t know what attracts us into their game, sometimes, i think it might be their unwillingness to come close to us makes us wanting to chanllenge…??? so, jane, do not take it personal…that is who they are… they are just like that, they do not give answer right away, they think about everything before they answer…

    so, you will be ok… but you have to be strong.

  1200. #1200 by Jane on February 23, 2010 - 10:27 pm

    Jess

    Hey jess how true your words ring in my ears as you say how a guy will struggle to move to next step if he cant secure the position he is at (financial or emotional) you see Jess reading that and I know how my guy said to me recently โ€˜please be patient with me and we will have a pot of gold at the end of our rainbowโ€™ That is what he said a few weeks back, he does have job insecurities at the moment so I understand his behaviour and women seek to move to next step to help them feel better, I agree as I read that and hear that too. I need to pay attention to it more!!
    I am feeling insecure at the moment, wondering if he does really want me eventually or just keeping me in background until someone better comes along.

    I am always consistent in my approach, I have NEVER changed how I am/behave and I know he observe and appreciate that also I am there for him and support his concerns with work issues even his issues with relationship fear!

    We are coming up to 10 months together and โ€˜friendsโ€™ for past 6 months, I cant help but wonder how long I should give this, I love him but cant wait forever, I donโ€™t ever want to pressure him I love what we have but Jess as you have said to me in the past these guys are so practical and they have to realise they love you before working hard for relationship, I sometimes think what will it take for him to realise he loves me!? Whilst he knows I am happily going along with everything (which I am to a point) he less likely to change it and that is what I am worried about coz we know these guys hate change!! He initiates most of contact we have, I do text him too but as for meeting up, it is me who asks him, he never asks me and I think we would never meet if I didnโ€™t initiate it. I have asked him that it would be nice to see him before he goes away, he agreed but I bet you he waits for me to arrange!!
    Thank you Jess your input to saggi girl has helped me too.

  1201. #1201 by Jane on February 23, 2010 - 10:53 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hey thank you sagi girl especially that you have much upset at the moment. I appreciate you advice to me. Yes I imagine you are trying to clear your head, such an emotional time for you. I donโ€™t think it matters who contacts who first in your situation, either way you both owe each other and the relationship some positive attention, you both deserve that with the distance you have come together. It will work out I am sure. Hold your head high, and believe in what you deserve.

    Reading what you say to met is funny in a kind of way coz as I read what you say and Jess and everyone, it makes sense and I see it right there and then, but when things floating around in my head it a whole different story!! Lol I am sure you relate to that too saggi girl!

    I realise what you say how they need to โ€˜thinkโ€™ about things before they answer but my god he said via text โ€˜yes lets spend lots of time togetherโ€™ so I thought it be ok to mention it!!! Goodness so complexed these bull men!!! LOL He has hinted in the past that he wants me to initiate, I think reason for that is it gives him validation that I want to be with him, I want that too.

    Saggi girl when you say how you seeing each other every Sunday became fixed like schedule, well that is how we have become recently on Saturdays. You are right they do not show feelings on their face and are most deffinatly not like other guys thatโ€™s for sure!!!!
    Be strong too saggi girl and thank you x

  1202. #1202 by Mia on February 24, 2010 - 5:13 am

    Ah so nice to see your posts Jess! I know u will help ‘Saggi! You’re the best:)

    Hello to all, Jane, Jess, Capi, sweet sweet Saggi, Lioness, Capi, Lionsroar & all…

    Saggi, can’t wait to read ur latest and hope u are feeling better, sweet hugs to you!!!!

    Lioness,
    Thanks for your comforting words, I am way better and my sweet guy did finally contact me. yup, u can always tell from the tone of my posts and as to how I refer to my incouragable man as to how it is going.

    Yes he is like yours because I wrote below that he wrote me and contacts me yesterday, today nothing… it is fine, but whenever we spend time together he always leaves for a bit, gets more distant. it is normal for guys to do this, but with taurus it is way more noticable!

    remember, even though it is not fair the taurus guys do not like it when we are not truthful to them… just be careful ๐Ÿ™‚ you could probably have not said you’ve been with other guys but just let it be unspoken… and how long has it been since u had some… hmmmm. and this guy is with another gal? hmmmm… i’m not sure i would have answered at all, i would have been very calm and assuring of myself and kept it low key, mysterious… ” hm, sir, that is getting a bit personal don’t u think? besides ur taken now and i make it a habit not to get in the way of guys pursuits ๐Ÿ˜‰ ” that way you’re nice, mysterious and quiet, and remember Lioness, keep ur interactions with him pretty short and sweet… if you want this guy, u need to keep things as positive on ur end as possible, you are not an easy catch and he needs to think he is “stealing” you away from something you really need to be doing… like “well, i have enjoyed speaking with u, need to get some sleep now, thank u and enjoy ur day tomorrow…. ” or to that effect. keeping conversations very light… remember he is with some other gal, do you like that he is? okay… then if u keep it balanced on ur end, you will feel in control & he will be the one wondering about u, showering u with attention….

    Here is the latest from my guy, it is very nice…
    my guy emailed me from work Monday to see how I specifially was doing, since he heard me breaking up emotionally (yup, I cried but was trying so hard to hold back my tears, it was an emotional weekend, i was tired) but it spoke volumes that he addressed me by name, then said “morning” then asked how i was and he signed it “m” very gentlemanly and respectful, so sweet. He also called me last night. I did not see it until later and saw that he called. I had answered his email, then I texted him when I saw his call. I said something like “sorry i missed ur call. hope u had a good day” he replied immediately, “ok sorry to bother u”

    ah, i don’t know why he thinks my texts sound cold, i do not think that, but his reply sounds insecure, so i answered, “ur not bothering me, i welcome all forms of communication from u.” he asked how it was with our first nite with our friend here. i said it went fine, said i was cooking. then texted him something like this: “please know i enjoy time spent with u and welcome ur checking on us to see how we are doing, it helps me and also to know that i may can ask u if i ever need help around the house if that is okay” he replied again quickly, “yeah” ( lol ) i thought oh no, i turned him off… now he thinks i just need him for a handyman, using him as “mister fix it” lol…

    I thought oh well, I’ll give him a quick call and I called him, realizing since he called me earlier from his home number, I should have too… but called on his cell, apparently if he is sleeping, it is harder to use the cell… because it took him awhile to pick up and he sounded asleep!! it was still early, but I felt bad (see girls? we should rarely call our guys, oh well… ) I said, “hey m, so sorry to disturb u, just wanted to tell u it is very hard for me to ask u to fix things for me, and did not mean that but may call u for if i need advise on fixing something like when i get a new ceiling fan in my room. thank u for calling and checking on us, we are doing good. wishing u a good nite and talk to you later, nite…

    he was like, groggy but very sweet voice, he was like, oh it’s okay, ur welcome, okay nite. (sweeter than i have heard in a while.. he has only spoken in this voice to me once when he left a message on my cell the very FIRST message on my cell and it was the most romantic one he has ever given to me wish I could have saved it!)

    Love to all and will read to catch up!
    Mia ~ xoxoxxoox

  1203. #1203 by Mia on February 24, 2010 - 9:15 am

    Hi Jane, Saggi and Jess,

    Jane,
    So sorry about ur suggestions spending time 2gether leading to his hesitation, you are so sweet and adorable and I’ve been there.. I let myself go like that in another relationship and was so bewildered when my guy behaved just the opposite of what I suggested… the relationship slowly went downhill and I became more miserable as I behaved in ways I thought was right because it was my true feelings so how could i go wrong. In actuality, I did not realize that all the self help I was reading online was indeed right…

    so sorry falling asleep now… lol, argh…

    will catch up soon and saggi i did not get a chance to write you, but you hang in there and rest like jess says, rest will help ur mind get a clear prospective, with a more balanced outlook, perception that won’t leave you feeling so vulnerable. remember relationships are not built on fear, but a natural love and compassion and encouragement, happiness you wish for your partner. when you start to feel pressure, stress that you have a time clock ticking for marriage, kids, it becomes your only goal of focus, so your focus is centered subconsciously on marriage, so all his flaws become magnified.. taurus men take lots of patience, and from what i have read, if the relationship is not progressing and u are feeling resentful, you may try pulling back… just relax, rest, let him come u.. u can be strong… let the new guy come to u too…
    falling asleep too many times here, lol
    mia xoxoxoxo

  1204. #1204 by Jane on February 24, 2010 - 9:17 am

    Saggi girl, jess, Mia

    Oh my god well after me saying in my last post that my guy acting bit strange when I mentioned us spending time together before and after his trip (remember he agreed we spend โ€˜lotsโ€™ of time) Well last night he said he going to bed after we had spoke on the phone then now this a.m he sent me his lovely good morning texts as he does then 20 minutes later sent another saying he been invited by his friend to go away to stay with him few days before his trip (this Monday!!)

    I text him back and said โ€˜why didnโ€™t you mention it last night talking to me on the phone coz you must have known then, I then asked him โ€˜what about meโ€™? and that I wont see him for 2 weeks, I also asked him is this all because I mentioned about us spending time together and does he not care about that!?

    My usual response to something ever like that would be, โ€˜whatever have a nice timeโ€™ because I would not want the guy to think I was bothered!
    Truth is I love this guy and I am bothered and part of me feels that why he doing it to , to test my reaction.

    He just text me back and said that there was a possibility that this be happening and he didnโ€™t mention it incase it didnโ€™t happen, he then apologised saying he been inconciderate to me but he trying to please so mny people!!! (obviously not me!) He then said we can meet up over the weekend!! Oh god I feel like he so willing to put others before me, I am already feeling like โ€˜he keeping me in backgroundโ€™

    I donโ€™t know how to respond to him!? I feel like screaming DONโ€™T GO SEE ME INSTEAD!!!!! Remember this guy couldnโ€™t hold my hand 2wks ago, just about quick kisses me on the lips!!

    Please tell me truly what you think!!??
    One of my male friends asked me โ€˜do you think he has someone else!? I donโ€™t know what to think, do you think I should ask him that!?
    He makes real positive steps towards me, then seems to make sure to sabotage positive feelings/ideas I may get from it. I mention we spend some time together after he gets back and he conveniently decides to go away few days before so he wont have to see me at all!!
    Thatโ€™s how I feel anyway. Be honest ladies, am I being over sensitive here or overreacting, the bottom line here also is โ€˜his controlโ€™ I suggest spending time together its like he says โ€˜Iโ€™ll decide when not youโ€™!!!!!!

    Mia, how sweet you are but hey remember how Taurus guys love being the โ€˜manโ€™ and you asking him to fix things for you will draw him to you more! I know what you mean that you donโ€™t want him to think he only โ€˜handymanโ€™ to you, I am sure he doesnโ€™t think that at all. You are noticing his sweet voice getting all tender with you again, bless and real sweet. Mia are you feeling better about things?

    Saggi girl hope you doing ok, every hour feels like 10 hours when going through such emotion, its horrible. I do hope you are ok, remember we are all here for you.

  1205. #1205 by Jess on February 24, 2010 - 11:15 am

    Jane,

    My guy did the same thing about the unplanned thingy too while putting me on hold until last minute. He sometimes tell me just 2 days before he’s flying out (and I was thinking the same as you do that he must have known it before but why never mentioned until last minute…) He also didn’t tell me exactly when he’s coming back unless I ask (and yes i get tired of having to ask every time) It’s always about his own business in his own way his own time on his own decision, just a matter of when and where and how much he wants to get me involved…

    That sounds bad and so unfair I know… but what I don’t know is why am I still holding on to him…

    I have days (especially during those days of every months lol!) that I feel emotional but I think I know him. Though I can’t say 100% sure but I don’t think my guy is having someone else because I know I’m not the only one who get treated like this but his best friends even his mother.

    I know how you feel Jane, I just don’t know how to comfort you. I don’t want to tell you to hold on and stick to him or to move on cause it’s wasting time since he is not going to change. You know best the combination that works for you.

    Cheer up Jane!

    Mia,

    I’m glad to read how your guy is showing progress and positive sign for relationship. You are very tolerate person I must say! I really wish I only hear good news from you from now on ๐Ÿ˜‰

  1206. #1206 by Jess on February 24, 2010 - 11:20 am

    lionness and Capricorn lady,

    I’m sorry for the situation with your family. I wish you girls get all the strength and support to go thru life during the hard time.

  1207. #1207 by Jane on February 24, 2010 - 11:55 am

    Jess
    Hi and thank you for your response to me.
    I realise how self cantered these guys can be but I have no status at all with him at the moment yet everything about our relationship screams out we are together so I feel very much pushed aside from him and not even considered at all!!

    I know you have had the same so understand, I am just struggling with best way to handle it!??
    I donโ€™t want to be hasty but Jess if I could have your opinion on this I would be very grateful, thank you.

    I have drafted a message to said, something like thisโ€ฆ.โ€™ I realise how you been having such stressful time and looking forward to your break away and you deserve that, I just donโ€™t understand why your plan is not to spend time with me before you go but you chose other people instead, blah blah, I feel hurt that you havnt thought about me, you say you pleasing people but where am I in your priority in pleasing people, I wonder if you do want us together, what do you want from me? Jess I was going to send that what do you think!!?? I donโ€™t want to be hasty!

  1208. #1208 by Jess on February 24, 2010 - 12:42 pm

    Jane,

    I can’t tell about your guy, but I know mine it would not do any good sending those messages. I mean dealing with these guy, at least with my guy, it’s the best to talk to him in person. These Taurus guys can be a coward by avoiding confrontation (I think part of it because they look at our confrontation as drama) I’m not sure if it would help you feel better to sent those message because if he didn’t reply you gonna get frustrated more, or if he reply in short but avoid the subject you get frustrated anyway… Your guy might look at your message as emotional since he thought he already apologize so it should take care everything…

    Again, if your guy are looking for a breaking away from stress, I’m not sure he think spending time with you would do, or having crazy time with friends serve it better? (no offense Jane but being with you I’m sure it’s a sweet little romance time but having fun with friends is a way to go if one seek to release stress…)

    I would suggest if you feel a need to send something just so he knows you are hurt, make it short (may be with some dried humor something like… incredible how you forget about me but thank you for still having the weekend catching up left with me!!!– well hahaha that is usually my style to put emotional message in a joking tone to ease the tense but he will get it)

    Well Jane, that was what I will say but this is how I and my guy interact. We both sort of having sharp tongue even to each other… and we like to make joke and sarcastic to spice/ease the heat of the conversation. I think you can send text to let him know you hurt because if you hold it now you have to wait another 2 weeks for him to come back and by that time your mental health might be in danger LOL and when he is back you wouldn’t bother raising it up again. Oh Jane if he tried to arrange to meet you on weekend, accept it ok? so you can talk about it to him too.

  1209. #1209 by saggi girl on February 24, 2010 - 2:22 pm

    hi Jess,

    thank you for your input for calming us down in a very powerful way…you do not know how powerful your thought and your word is… i felt really grateful that i can meet you here.. i guess other people feel the same.. especially when you have your own ups and downs.. thank you, truly for that.

    i just wanted to let you know that i texted him this morning on my way to work, i wanted to hold it from sending but i finally hit the sent button, my message is like this” in my heart, you are like a family to me already. hope you are doing well. be careful of the snow and stay warm.” he replied right away but very short like” you too. have a good day.”

    well, that is my status.. i do not know what he is thinking.. but at this point, i just wanted him to know that i thought about him.. that is all.. i will not call or text him again until he contacted me…i just wanted to break the ice from the tension.. what do you think? do you think i did all right???

    But, Jess, i thought about what you have said…i think i need to figure out what i am going to do next, if i want to stay with him… then the problem was still there and he is not going to change the way he is… i am still not gonna happy.. so at this point, i do not want to think either going back or going apart… i just want to decide something when i am ready…

  1210. #1210 by saggi girl on February 24, 2010 - 2:47 pm

    Jane,

    i read your story and thanks for your concern about me especially when you need support from us..i think we can figure thing out together, especially when jess is here…she is the best

    in regard to your situation, my guy did the same for so many times in the past, i was like you. sometimes, i wanted to crack his head open to see what is in there, and it must have a lot of bull-shit in there..sorry.

    let me tell you my story for one incident: one time, that is like a year ago, we were planing to see each other on sunday, but he said that he will let me know in the morning which will be before 12pm as i need to cook.. then i waited and waited until 12:30, he did not call, then i called him but he did not answer. then i called twice, he was still not answering.. then he finally called me back at 1:45pm and telling me that he was not coming to see me as he needs to do something.. then i was like what you were doing earlier,, then he was like” my car stuck in the snow for 2 days, and i was clearing the snow and ice cube out of my car when you called .. i was cold and tired… having been doing that for 2 hours.. then i was like” why don’t you tell me before you clear the snow.. or just answer the phone when i called.. can’t you do that? you just do not care…blah blah..” then he got defensive saying” i think i told you that i have something to do for today..” then i said” yeah, you said that, but then i told you to stay in and see each other next week, but you said you will see and call in the morning.” then he was like” i am sorry to give you wrong impression.. i was busy with digging my car.. i am tired and cold now..i can deal with your accusation. what you mean that i do not care, of course, i do, then blah blah, i need to go..”

    see, if you were me, what you would think. I was almost like” FXXX you.”, but i hold it back.. i dont know what they are thinking.. he was still doing that sometimes, like my last birthday, his uncle came to visit him on the day of my birthday after his mother passed away, he came to pick me up for lunch but being short with me… then left and spent time with his uncle… i was hurt too. then i asked him” what i am to you?” then he was like” you are like my family, but i have some other responsibility too..i want to spend time with them too.” i don’t know, sometimes, i got confused and lost how they show they care.. as they always got pissed off when you accused them not caring… but how???

    sorry for rambling.. but just want to let you know not to take it personal.. like Jess said, not to send your text.. wait until you see him to discuss. take the date and discuss with him in a feminine way.. i know it is easier said than done, as i would have done the same( text in a harsh way) but i know it is not good to send a text like that… so, right now, whenever i wanted to send someting harsh to vent, i normally distract myself for doing something else, like watch TV or talk to friend or anything will distract me… try it. jane..

  1211. #1211 by Jane on February 24, 2010 - 3:31 pm

    Jess, Saggi girl

    Thank you both for your advice, I donโ€™t know what I would do without you, reading it what you had to say I felt much calmer. You both right with it not likely to get me anywhere sending such a text any way and jess yes I will prob feel worse if is response is not how I want it so I will take your advice. Keep it sweet and ladylike and maybe just let him know I am disappointed.

    I realise he wanting to de stress and chilling with friends is good for him, I feel he just avoiding me to stop him getting close to me and that is why I am upset. Yes freeing up stress with friends I understand. I just wish I knew it was that and not an escape from me!!
    Jess, saggi girl, you both have prevented me making a huge mistake, although my text was not โ€˜attacking himโ€™ he would see it as drama, you are right and maybe I will get chance to see him week end to talk a little further.
    Its been nearly 10 months, I donโ€™t want to pressure him but I am feeling I want โ€˜somethingโ€™ to know its me he wants, I am feeling insecure I know, I know how guarded he is but he asking me to be patient is fine as long as I know we be together in the end. Do you think it wrong of me to expect anything like that from him? I just want his actions to match his beautiful words. I sometimes feel I am being strung along and I am scared he will hurt me. I love him and he knows it. I believe in my heart he cares deeply for me, but what if that is as good as it gets!?
    Do I say anything to him to gain some security for me with this?

  1212. #1212 by saggi girl on February 24, 2010 - 3:55 pm

    Jane,

    In regard to string along, i have such questions in my head everyday..especially no progess coming forward. but i asked him once if he strings me along, he said that he did not. and he stated that nobody wanted to waste their time on someone, he knows that woman has biological clock issue but for man it is the same but in a different way.. he said that he won’t waste his time on someone he was not interested. like a girl he was talking before he met me, he told me that he did not think it will work out, then he no longer called her and did not see a reason to see her anymore… i think they are slow to move forward, but when it comes to drop something they are not interested, they are quick…

  1213. #1213 by Lioness on February 24, 2010 - 7:43 pm

    Saggi,
    I hear ya I feel like I have been strung along all this time with the taurus guy I talk to he says to me how can I play you if you know everything and I have been honest about it. I was like whatever in my head sometimes I dont know whether he is keeping me as a fall back girl when the one he is with doesnt work out. I still dont understand why he bothers to play all of these games with me it doesnt make any sense. He has also stopped talking to me as much as he used to I talked to him for about 3 hours on Friday and then all of a sudden doesnt speak to me anymore hardly maybe for a few min but thats it. I dont understand what is going on is he slowly stopping communication so he doesnt have to deal with me anymore or what is the problem? He also told me on an alias that things werent the way that they looked. I have no idea what that is supposed to mean am not really sure about that one but I dont get it with him and trying to make me jealous and try to intimidate me by bluffing on something. Not sure what to do anymore. I feel like I am just separated from my future with him and dont know what to do anymore or if anything will ever happen……..

  1214. #1214 by Jane on February 24, 2010 - 7:46 pm

    Jess, Saggi girl

    Thank you again for your wonderful help to me.
    Well I did send a short text just saying that โ€˜I understand his stresses and that he needs his break to relax but I am disappointed that we wont see each other for a long time but yes I would like to see him at the week endโ€™ blah blah that was pretty much it. He text me back and said โ€˜we will princess we willโ€™

    I am happy that we will see eachother but I am getting fed up with everything always on his terms, I am fed up being โ€˜little miss patientโ€™ and getting nothing in return. He can be so self centered, self involved that he just texts me and thinks that is enough, I want more. He surely must know by know if he wants me, trusts me, sees me as girlfriend material!!??

    Things have been progressively getting better between us since xmas, getting closer verbally and I suppose on some level physically to with hugs and kisses, then as I said in previous posts he couldnโ€™t even hold my hand and then just last Saturday couldnโ€™t take his eyes off me then sat next to me on the settee and he didnโ€™t even touch me, I wanted to touch him so bad, even just hold his hand, but no!!! I donโ€™t get it.
    He asking me to be patient, am I unreasonable to expect โ€˜touchโ€™ from him??

    Please advise me what you think, I am sorry to go on and on like this, it is just I need help with how I should approach this when I see him, I donโ€™t want to scare him off but I want to point out that I am needing a little more than I am getting whilst I am being โ€˜patientโ€™. What do you think? What would you do if it was you?
    Please forgive me I am sorry to still be stressing here with this!!

    Saggi girl I do hope you are ok, I know you have a lot on your mind. Jess, saggi girl is right, you really are the best, thank you xx

  1215. #1215 by saggi girl on February 24, 2010 - 8:20 pm

    jane,

    there is no way but to wait.. that was happened to me.. i think my progress was based on the on and off pattern with us.. which caused by his slow movement. then i lost patience, i blow off, then he stop contact, i did not initate either, but what i can see is every time we are back in touch, he is moving a little forward.. like last time when i forced him to express his feeling either he loved me or not, then he said he did not, then we stopped communication for 3 weeks, when he contacted me again, i can see he is different.. but he won’t say anything about his feeling until when he left and hold me from the back and laid his head on my shoulder said he missed me a lot, seriously. i think sometimes, they lost contact with their true feelings but when you disappeared for a while, then they know how much they missed you. i don’t know if it really correlated…

    Jane, i understand your fraustration, that is why i told myself in the past to start looking for someone else, but it just did not work out.. right now, i was stuck with him.. i know in my head that he is not going to give me what i needed in the near future due to his current situation…but my heart just does not allow me to move on.. i tried but it failed..
    actually, i texted him this morning on the way to work, i was trying to hold it but finally hit the sent button, i just told him like” in my heart, you are like a family to me already. hope you are feeling better. be careful of the snow and be safe.” he replied immediately like” you too. have a good day.” see, it was just simple like that.. i do not know if this is a good sign or not.. but anyway, i let him know that i leave the door open and not going to call him or text him again.. as i need to figure out the next step that i am going to do to make sure that i will be happy no matter what situation is gonna be…

    Jane, i am sorry that you have to go through this.. sometimes, i was asking myself why we have to meet those bulls..is that our luck or disaster??? even my bull admit that he was not an average man.. and he is difficult..

  1216. #1216 by saggi girl on February 24, 2010 - 8:53 pm

    Jane,

    a question for you? how old is your bull??

  1217. #1217 by Jane on February 24, 2010 - 9:19 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi, bless you and thank you.
    I think I understand what you mean by โ€˜just have to waitโ€™ but when you say things changed for you like progressed further once you disappear from him for a while, do you think that is what I need to do?? I mean hold back? Or tell him I need more and that to help him figure it out I will leave??

    I remember when you asked your guy for his feelings and he wouldnโ€™t tell you he loved you, and also how he missed you. I remember how upset you where and frustrated too. He had told me once only last week in text โ€˜miss you tooโ€™ that is my only positive word from him on feelings for me!! I was so delighted to read that. Another reason why him now not choosing to spend time with me hurts!!
    I keep thinking what Jess often said that โ€˜he must realise he loves you first before working hard for relationshipโ€™ I wonder if I need to walk away for him to do that, coz at this rate his snails pace we may never get there!!!
    Saggi girl, believe me, I would never hurt him, I love him like I have never loved someone before, I just feel at the moment that it is always about him with no concideration for me and how I may be feeling, like he doesnโ€™t care. I just want to have something, anything to tell me he does want me.
    What you said earlier was helpful how your guy told you he not stringing you along as what would be the point, so I get that and hope that right of my guy too!!

    Saggi girl, your text to your guy was real sweet, nice for him I am sure to hear from you, he responded short and sweet but yes I see what you mean as you say all those lovely things and he โ€˜quickโ€™ and to the point with response!! I get what you mean and that it is just their way!! GODNESS ME!!!!

    Thank you for your always wonderful help, I really do value all you say saggi girl.You and your guy quiet with eachother at the moment which I think be helpful for you each to gather thoughts before you meetโ€ฆ

  1218. #1218 by Jane on February 24, 2010 - 9:23 pm

    Saggi girl

    He is 44!!!

  1219. #1219 by saggi girl on February 24, 2010 - 10:06 pm

    Jane,

    my guy in his 40s too and i was alway wondering why he is still having financial issue at this age as a man.. that is also the part that my family was not really fond of it.. my mom always tells me that love will turn to sour if the husband can not provide…it might be true.

    i have to tell you it was not a easy journey with them, not at all.. i was always wondering how their wife survived during the dating stage.. Mine told me that his ex wife sometimes asked him questions like” do you love me?'” when they were dating as i guess he barely shows it too.. but i think they are loyal if they truly love you.. as my bull told me when he was dating his wife by the time, there is another lady who was kind of cute and was interested in him, and he met her during a trip to his home town. then they exchanged the phone number and she started calling him. then he explained to her that he was dating someone.. then the lady was really pissed off his misleading.. He told me that he had a very strong feeling for his wife by the time, that is why he was being attempted at all…

    Jane, i do not know what to say at this point and do not know it was really worth it to wait or be patient with them.. it is true that it is alway about them.. their time, their like or dislike, their space.. you are not gonna believe, he picked the movie when we were in the movie theatre.. sometimes, he will ask which one i want to see, when i recommend one, he deny it.. see it was always about them…

  1220. #1220 by Jane on February 24, 2010 - 10:46 pm

    Saggi girl

    I know I go on and on as I am worried, but I understand this is my puzzle!!
    I know for the moment anyway I am going to just wait it out. I will see what the weekend brings and then I will see how things go when he back from his trip. My guy was married and badly hurt with that and next relationship too. Also he has financial worry too and I know it affects him a lot in his mind.

    It is interesting how you say how he was in initial stages when dating his wife coz my guy โ€˜jumped inโ€™ real quick with his marriage and he said next relationship he did same and it lasted 4months!!! So can you understand why I feel insecure with things coz he certainly has not jumped into anything with me!!! First 2months maybe full on but that was it!!! I am well and truly at arms length.
    Maybe it coz he making sure this time it is right! Lol well you never know I guess.

    Hey, when you say about cinema too, picking movie even about him. Saggi girl my guy does not take me anywhere, first few months he did since we โ€˜friendsโ€™ we have been nowhere except ameal at my house that I cook for us, oh we went to a cafรฉ once or twice but that is it! How bad is that!!?? I hear how these bulls love to buy you things and spoil you!!?? Absolutely not my bull. To be honest saggi girl I really truly do not care about the buying things. I just want us to spend time together, then I know he will have such an amazing time (coz he does when we do!) over and over that he will not want to leave!! LOL You are right this is so frustrating and I know they find it hard to express how they feel tht is why I am looking into his action so much and right now it seems his action is taking him to spend time without me,which would be just fine if I felt alittle bit more secure with him. I am quite simple to please and ask very little so I donโ€™t think I am being unreasonable.

    Saggi girl, once again thank you for you input to me. I have took on board all you have said, you make real sense and I will see how things go. I really want to stick with this through and through. I just wish he could see that and offer me a tiny bit more to keep me going!! Hugs to you x

  1221. #1221 by Confused Libra on February 24, 2010 - 10:58 pm

    Sometimes being patience and nice in a relationship is just not enough. You’ve got to have the right person to receprocate your love. After being my Taurus for 9 months and getthing hurt number of times, I said goodbye. It was hard and was a long process. I am starting to ignore his calls, texts, and emails. I want to move on. I just so know that if I response to him, we’ll get back together and it would still pretty much like a sexual relationship that wasn’t going anywhere. That is not what i want in a healthy relationship. He is just not ready for any romantic relationship. I gave myself A+ for sticking at it for so long and did my best.

    Good luck to all you ladies out there.

  1222. #1222 by Jess on February 25, 2010 - 12:41 am

    Saggi girl,

    You did good!!! and it’s positive how he reply you right away even with a short text. I believe he is still afraid of getting all back with you because he doesn’t want to go through the breaking up scence again.

    I recalled time when I broke it off with my guy (remember when we lost contact for 10 days) and it was me who gave up first and contact him after a week telling him that I ended up thinking of him everyday and ask him to meet, he didn’t respond until 3 days after telling me how he miss me like he never miss anyone before and just thinking of never seeing me again is the worst feeling he has in years… BUT even how much he wanted to see and kiss me, he rather hurt one big last time to make sure that moment will never happen to us again (when i blow up and broke it off on his face) because it hurts and feels bad when things that been going good suddenly broken apart in front of him…

    I guess you get the idea how your guy must feel now and I’m telling you nothing much you can do to make him believe you it will never happened again, because my guy said when we get back together that he is sure it will happen again but he is back i guess because he couldnt tolerate the feeling of losing me… the trick about Taurus guys is playing with their 5 sense! Remember even how strong they are, they always surrender to the senses that they love to touch and they always have to come back for more! If you read from other sources you will see how Taurus always give in to lust and beauty/eyes candy/touching/huggings/etc…

    Give him time saggi girl, I’m pretty sure he’ll come around but then its up to you how you can manage so that this cycle will not repeat again at least not too soon and too often…

    Cheer up!

  1223. #1223 by Jess on February 25, 2010 - 12:59 am

    Jane,

    I have to confirm these Taurus men are REALLY slow! But it doesnt mean that they don’t realize that they are falling for you. I think they know it as soon as any other guys in any zodiac do BUT what slow about them is the way they approach you because they are too objective and skeptic. They need to know exactly that the feeling they have with you are true and it happens because of you not because of circumstances (e.g. loneliness, sex appeal, thrill, etc…) and also they are VERY protective to their own heart, I believe it’s big for Taurus to give out their heart to someone. They can flirt and falling for girls as easy as falling for any beauty objects but falling in love is something they consciously may be working hard to force themselves not to… But trust me Taurus doesn’t wear a heart of stone, they just create a stone wall to protect it because actually they have a heart of a baby.

    One more thing, but please please I dont mean to mislead you about this ok? I really think sex is very important to Taurus guys. They need to get intimate mentally and physically to feel they own/feel/their women perfectly. Taurus can’t love a woman if they just involve with her either by sex or other connection. They need to have everything with their women!

    I recalled also at the begining of dating mine, he likes to seduce me by his ‘innocent’ ‘unintentionally’ action like accidentally touch me here and there, its his ambition to make me to want him! He said it couple times he wants to make me to want him so bad that i beg…. (lol that is crazy but so sexy) I think your guy is now setting you a trap by seducing you to want him…

    I understand also how you get fed up with having things his way, but I tell you that is the only way if you want to be with Taurus guys. They like to control and have things going on their pace… But they will allow you and your opinion to play a part in it, you will get it later Jane. You will so get it that you give in and allow yourself to stay, like I do….unfair yes but i can’t explain why i totally fall for his charm…

    Cheer up too!

  1224. #1224 by Jess on February 25, 2010 - 1:05 am

    Confused Libra,

    I’m so sorry for what you have to go through. Taurus tend to abuse and take advantage when you are too kind and too available. I don’t know enough to say about his intention but I remember your story and how you give your 100% to him so I agree he has not been fair nor treating you well enough! Be strong and don’t give in to him!

  1225. #1225 by Lioness on February 25, 2010 - 2:04 am

    hello girls,
    right now I am soo pissed off because that taurus that I have been speaking of is probably really going to move in with this girl…. what I dont get is why go to all the extremes to mess with my head using all of these aliases and then tell me that he really likes me and that is genuine like I really believe him. Was I just online entertainment for like 8 months or so I mean for real why do these people do this because I dont ever want to find another one. Then he goes on to tell me that he doesnt want to hurt my feelings that is what I dont understand or then tells me that appearances is not what it looks like…… I dont get it at all……. he uses my friend to mess with my head as well and I finally told her to tell him the next time that they speak to tell him we dont talk anymore and we got in a huge fight. right now my head is not right I am hurt and I feel that he had this new gf of his in on it as well and that is what I am really ticked off about why do all of this and take the time and energy to mess with someone when you dont like them? Any suggestions????? Thanks girls and have a good night!!

  1226. #1226 by Mia on February 25, 2010 - 7:23 am

    Hello everyone! I’m gone for just a few days ( think it was one:) and everyone is back! confused libra, and others, so happy to see you here but have not read past Jane’s post under mine.

    will start there then read all, so enjoy seeing everyone so helpful to each other, u guys are the very best!

    saggi quick hug as i haven’t checked on your updates will read in a bit. sending you tons of love and sweet hugs!!!

    Jane!

    Yes I do think you are being just a bit too sensitive here and over-reacting just a touch. I so know your frustration. NO, I do not think he has another gal friend, relax, he likes you very much.

    You so did what I did!!! lolllllll If it makes you feel any better, I got off the same week my guy did too over our holidays here… he knew this, and well, he never initiated seeing each other each and every day… he called a few times, but that was it…. so don’t feel bad… you are so beautiful and strong!

    let it go, wish him a fun time! when you relax and sink into fun things YOU will be doing, he will feel no pressure… because remember what you said… let him enjoy being the one to initiate.

    you are so precious, i’m not sure you want to sound too eager, as he knows you enjoy being around him and like him.. so think of this scenerio… you’re talking with him on the phone… you are telling him about something cool you are working on…
    he thinks it is neat, blah, blah…. you get off the phone and he thinks out and comes up with this cool idea! “Jane is so sweet i would love to find some time to see her… oh yeah, she mentioned she is off this week too! when i get back from my trip with my friend i can’t wait to surprise her to do something fun!”

    I know I sound cheesy! lol, but you get the idea.. guys work backwards…. if you suggest them to call, they won’t. if you suggest you get off the same week, you’ll never see them that week. i have seen that many a time with my guy… so i stopped. yup. i relinquished my dropping suggestions. i respond, but i rarely initiate. did not hear from my guy yesterday, so i’m busy too… (no was really busy but had a great day… ) did not hear from him today… so i’m busy today too… i’m not mad at him at all… i knew he might contact me sometime this week… well, he texted me tonight and we spoke online, we’re cool now! he is so sweet. you would be so proud of me Jane!

    but i will tell you mine when i know YOU are okay!

    Just relax, and do not mention anymore about you wanting to get with him, he knows this and he wants to get together with you too, you must trust that he will make time for you.

    you must trust that he wants you to be happy for him when he tells you things he is excited about. i know it crushed you. but when you let it go and i just don’t think he meant to be insensitive to you. think about pouring yourself into accomplishing some cool things you were wanting to do and start them, it will build your awesome confidence, when your guy knows he is not the center of your world, it will pull him back in like a magnet. when your guy feels no pressure, no suggestion, nothing from your end other than you staying busy and happy and welcome to his contacts, he will be initiating, practice it sweet Jane… every time he is away, he is missing YOU! so did you know that if he takes the trip with his friend, he will spring back to you with even more gusto!

    xoxoxoxo mia~

  1227. #1227 by Mia on February 25, 2010 - 7:36 am

    Jane, Jess, Saggi and all,

    Thank you so much for your sweet messages to me!

    I am way better and I asked him about what was bothering me like you said, being truthful! we are better and i’ll tell you in a bit, i want to see how everyone is doing first. i’m skimming and see something about Jane’s guy going away for awhile? hm, and see he is 44… i am older than mine! i hate to say by 10 yrs but yes. hey, i didn’t ask for him to come to me! lol… he of course knows the age difference, i am not too keen on it, but i guess in the long run, if women outlive men, then we’re good, ha, lol.

    I meant to add Jane, you were right…. tonight i told him i have a few things to fix around the house, like exchanging the door hardware out for my front door and painting my shudders… he said sure he would be happy to help! you were right, he likes it. i do know he also enjoys playing the role of the take charge man and the feeling of “hey see what i did for you” like i’m so proud, aren’t u? …

    k, going to read more now of your story Jane… and others…
    xoxox mia ~

  1228. #1228 by Lioness on February 25, 2010 - 8:07 am

    Hello everyone,
    I just wanted your opinion on things with the taurus man. My taurus makes talks to me everyday but with different personalities on yahoo. I have also learned from my friend that he is going to be moving in with this girlfriend of his but he told my friend awhile back when he was drunk that he was with this woman to make me mad he has also told her to have me wait for him and this was like a month ago. What do you think would happen if I totally cut off all contact with him and not speak to him at all. I dont ever see him anymore I just want him to realize that he is making a big mistake w this person he is with and he needs to see what is going on in front of him. I have known him for almost a year and I dont want to be used as his fall back girl as well. I never initiate contact with him he always contacts me but it is all done with him pretending to be someone else so I dont know that it is him. I told him back in november or october to leave me alone dont look at me or speak to me anymore and he can have at with whatever woman he wants. He is still trying to talk to me everyday with these stupid personalities when I have confronted him about it numerous times all I get is a run around about how its not him or he just gets mad or he will just quickly stop talking. He has told me that he likes me and can talk to me for hours on end. I even told him tonight that I didnt think he cared and he is like I care more than you know trust me. I have a hard time believing any of it since he does have someone and I feel like he is just using my friend to get even with me or make me jealous somehow I told her to tell him we dont talk anymore so he can no longer do that. I just wanted to know what you girls would think would happen if I did infact cut off all contact with him and just go on about my life do you think he would come after me more or just let me be and get on with his own life? Thanks girls and have a good day!!!

  1229. #1229 by Mia on February 25, 2010 - 8:40 am

    Saggi girl,
    (yes jess does create a strong, beautiful calm spirit here, it is like our rock. our anchor. thank you jess, you are irreplacable, our beautiful gem here, thank you for your calm, your gentle guidance, love to you! xoxox )

    See? what did i tell you? I’m just reading the post when you sent the short text…. yes it was perfect, beautiful. you spoke from your heart, short and sweet, and caring for his safety, nothing else, it could not have been more perfect. and you see you got the sweet reply from him, he really loves you, I already know that.

    remember you do not have to decide the future with him just yet. no you can’t change him. but guess what? each and every day we are only getting wiser, and more mature & u learn as we grow older to live life with less self, more giving and that true joy comes from relishing in the happiness of others, not ourselves. i take that over my age ANY DAY! yup. i’m really 90 you could not tell could you? flying around in my truck helping my friend move from 9 am – 9 pm for two days, 3 flights of stairs! lollllllllllllllll !!!!!!!!!!! okay so thankfully i’m not 90 yet, but when i am i’ll be starting my 3rd career! when i decide what to do! wahoo! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    the more u allow to let go, let God, ur feeling of control of others actions to accomodate you will melt away. you will find it means nothing to you. you know why? because you my dear are self sufficient, God will provide your every need so everything that comes from your guy will be a gift. imagine he was in a terrible accident, now how important is it now that he didn’t call you all day and was out with a friend? see, when u start peeling back those layers and think simple, life is short, then there is no doubt you want to be with him, you will have conflict of course. but you learn from him, he learns from you.

    think of it this way, instead of saying oh i just don’t think we could ever work even if we did get back together… did you ever think that by chance could have been sent into your life as a catalyst (or angel, i like to think we are all angels:) to help you work out a few things in your spirit, heart and mind that perhaps you could work on to morphe into an even more beautiful spirit for God that created this gorgeous Saggi that now is slowing starting to perceive all things with calm & temperment as gentile as the Dalai Lama or Mother Theresa… lol, I know this is off the scale, BUT as we grow older we learn to give to others what we wish for ourselves.

    Remember the very gentle push / pull cycle of sweet couples. if you are happy in your own right and are patient enough (you are) to relax and stop holding your guy accountable to every tiny thing he says, not questioning him, just be. just be with him, enjoy him, relish the present with him. you don’t have to question him at all really, you know what i mean, it breeds my insecurity when i do, i choose my esteem. besides, when i do not question him, he i think feels a silent respect coming from me, i know he does and this is attracting him to me as a healthy mature woman who is secure and happy with herself… if you know and trust him (pretend to until you feel it ๐Ÿ™‚ , he will come to you every time. and if he does act mean know he is tired as you are too, and remove yourself from him. that is your choice without saying one word. actions create more respect than your words. and then he starts learning from you.

    my motto these days is something like, “13, single and free, no boys allowed… ” lol when i put my mindset in the simple way i thought at 13, my cares were not boys and relationships, ugh! it was reading, coloring, fun stuff! in your mind, your guy is you friend always, or at least first. so let go of him and set him free (even when married) in your mind, that way he will chase you and want what you have… your beautiful happiness, peace and sweet love to share with all:)

    mia ~ xoxoxo

  1230. #1230 by Mia on February 25, 2010 - 10:11 am

    Lioness,

    hmmmm… if the guy was telling me he was moving in with a gal, saying stuff like i care more than you can ever know…

    here is what i probably would do..

    1. my relationship with him would change. lioness, even if he were to not move in and declare his undying love to me, my relationship with him would change on my part. you see, i see you as questioning him on your insecurities just to get some type of nod from him that he wants you. oh sweet lioness, no wonder you are feeling so low. each time you do this you are feeling poorly about yourself, you are much stronger than this. stop questioning him from now on, he will pine for you, not the other way around (pine away here for him, but no more in front of him, you respect yourself first young beautiful sweetie) that is it for number 1. no questions to him unless it’s how is your day?

    2. if he has told you point blank he is moving in with a woman, i would kindly excuse myself from the relationship by all means. and you say this man lives next door to you?

    3. i would say something like: “hi alias 1 (or 2, or 4 whichever one your speaking with:p i really have enjoyed our conversations and being with you, think you are very cool and nice. I’m happy you have found a the woman you’ve been looking for and wishing you much happiness as you continue your pursuit of this woman. I personally would never live with a guy as I would rather wait and spoil my man slowly, relishing our precious time together and allowing my strong man to take charge in the relationship. I believe in old fashioned chivilry;) and believe the slower you go, the more successful the relationship to build trust with each other. Please know out of respect for you and your girlfriend, I humbly bow myself out of this picture. To be honest, I was beginning to develop some feelings for you, had much fun in our talks, but now that you are moving along with your plans to seal a commitment with the woman you are seeking, I will now open myself up to the a guy that has been expressing some interest in going out. There are a couple of them actually and may also see about a dating site, but I had been hesitant to see if you may have asked me first. Thank you, bless you and wishing you very best. Lioness.
    (some of those are keywords, fun, represents light, airy and no pressure, guys love that… ๐Ÿ™‚

    hmmmmm. something to that effect is what i might do…

    sending you sweet hugs Lioness and you pick yourself up and remember, you are always nice, but firm, you are a lady, no, you are a princess:) and in that you are softly melting from picture, he will be back. You have done two things. You have shown him, he has no hold on your life, you are strong independent, have your goals, values, your modesty, your class and you never put yourself in a triangle of a relationship but you seek not just any man so your guys that will be lining up will have a narrow window, but that gorgeous handsome man may just be the one above. if you do something like the above, he will sorely miss you and i am pretty sure if this happens it will be very short lived… she is so not you. she will nag, nit pick, be controlling it will drive him mad, you will start to look like that princess and he will HATE to think his princess is going to be with other guys!!!! that someone may just snatch you up! no! try to remain invisible for awhile and just see…

    good luck to you!!! hugs to you!!! mia ~

  1231. #1231 by Mia on February 25, 2010 - 11:27 am

    last one, so need some sleep here:)

    tonight (earlier) when my guy texted me when can he see me next, i asked well, depends because i see that you are spending time with “s”and didn’t realize how much until last saturday, wondering why you would contact her and ask her to go places with you, and then not just take her home from tow truck but you and your friend take her out to eat… (i was helping my friend move in the pouring down rain while they were eating…)

    he said no no no no i had it all wrong. and i said, she was finishing sentences for you… he said this gals, here is his explanation of the gal pal…

    he said last wed. when 2 other of his friends (oh this is the couple getting to get married that was SETTING HIM up with the gal pal! ) okay they all 4 were together, you see he puts himself right there with her, are you kidding me??? are you kidding me? anyways they noticed she had a missing front light so of course he drove her to get a new one and put it in for her oh and would she mind riding him oh i mean riding with him, (remember she is ugly he says… and yes she would NOT be his type if looks are concerned… i don’t mean it in a bad way, she is a nice person i do like her, i wasn’t mad at her… heck she can’t help it, if a cute guy offers to fix things for you take you places? come on? geez) then he said, SHE DID NOT GO WITH ME TO GET THE PHONE COVER (not in caps) and his friend paid 60.00 of his money NOT “m” for her tow truck… ( that was added info, i had no idea anybody paid for her, i already knew he would not pay for her, heck he hasn’t paid for me yet and it’s been hm, 8 months? lol… and he didn’t pay for even part of her tow truck, and yes so him which i’m very glad of course…. if he had paid for ANY i would say bye bye! )

    then he said drop it, you had it all wrong, no…

    i said i’m done.

    i said my point is this:
    Do not take her places. Do not call her up and take her places.

    I said this:

    I’ve said all along you can date anyone you wish. I have never held you back. I’m happy for you, date whomever. But if you date, then leave me out of it. If you call a gal take her places, don’t date me.

    You don’t call up a girl and take her places.
    I don’t call up a guy and take him places.

    You date me.
    I date you.

    We don’t date others for now.

    ( earlier he said, you straight? I said yes)
    so after i wrote that above I said, You straight? he said yes with a kiss smiley face icon… lol ah…. i told him you are sweet and incourageable!

    but even though it looks like i took charge and had some gumption, oh honey, he was so take charge letting me have it exactly as it happened. he was like you get your story straight before putting words in my mouth. don’t put words in my mouth. cuz i was like you spend that much time with her, she has feelings, and i know she likes you! geez.

    he was sooooo agitated he kept trying to spell truck about 7 times before he got it right just that one word he was typing over again until it was spelled right. i knew that was a very good sign because i read when they get agitated they really like you…

    ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and one more thing i had to get off my chest that was bothering me!! REMEMBER i would not go to bible study class because i could NOT STAND him talking with ‘s’ the whole time and would act like i was not there???

    well honey i took care of that too… i said nicely, at the next bible study, would you please talk with me? i notice you seem to talk with others but not talk with me so much…

    he said, sure i will talk with you…

    (hmmmmm, normally he would say, what? and think that is prepostuous, so now he knows what he does now doesn’t he???? hm… he was speaking with “s” the ENTIRE time at my home.. it was nauseating… and every bible study he winds up sitting next to her (or i bet it could be her sitting next to him)…

    oh and get this!!!! I DID NOT EVEN mention this but just mentioned i see he they are doing things together a lot lately, and he said, “i was driving separately” “you were driving separately” “she was driving separately” the day of the charity event… that day they were together the entire day, geez… how come they were both working the same station? hm… get out. he knows what he is doing, and/or he can see what she is doing if he isn’t initiated what is she is doing and he isn’t pushing her back.

    so there, my message was, you want her fine but i’m done. not mad, just don’t do “you (m) date me (mia), i flirt, go places with her, fix her broken light, car, fingernail, broken hair follicle, broken sentences, with her (s) or any gal game no more.

    then he asked what I wanted to do saturday cuz he asked if i am free the weekend… i said, hm don’t know you haven’t asked me out yet? then he said, are you free saturday? would you like to go out saturday nite?

    lol, he is too precious, so adorable. i said yes that would be nice. we may go to a movie, we were frisky and i said don’t be surprised if i might put my hand on your leg please? he said, i want you to do it without me asking…

    then i was like, okay, then will you take my hand without asking first? he said yes…

    cool. ๐Ÿ™‚

    he is also in the process of joining the church and said his first class is this saturday night…

    now, funny thing, the two people (couple that was setting him up with “s”) just joined this past sunday, but “s” said oh i am waiting… can you ever imagine why??? hmmmmmmmm….

    you know why???? i can’t believe this!!!!

    do you see what i am finding here… jess, jane, am i an idiot??? breathe mia… apparently they all did the class together wanting “m” to do it with them… he did not, but will do this one oh and “s” will wait and stand next to him when joining so they can join the church the same day, this is TOO NAUSEATING!!!!

    also i remember when we the 60s sponsored something at church, i got there and the couple, and “s” were all wearing the same shirt… “m” didn’t show! they were soooooo disappointed because he had a shirt too! do you see????

    do you see how they allllllll sit together, go together, do things together…

    i’m working myself up here and i’m about done with him again.

    so help me jane, jess, saggi, lioness, if i see him congregating with them again, i will say i am done with you.

    they make a foursome you see… double date crap…

    he keeps saying she is only a friend.

    my point is this, don’t date me if you will not acknowledge me in public.

    if you DO NOT want to talk with me, include me in your couple and “s” don’t be with me… you know what i mean… don’t continue to do something that you know is appearing to “date me secretly being with me just hours before” and then don’t even look up at me at church the next day and talk with them “pal sy” up to them choosing to sit with them that is why i don’t come to bible study that is why i do not sit near their section at church anymore….

    sorry this was a huge milestone tonight and i will keep you posted but again i am soooooooooo tempted to say wow, what a cool coincidence it is that you and your close friend there, “o”, “r” and “s” all took classes together. I just realized now that “s” must be waiting for you to join the church so you can join on the same day. weeee!!!! maybe you two can go to lunch afterwards and celebrate!!!! whoop ti do!

    you see?????? you see????? everytime i think he is over this crap, one more thing pops up. here it is i just now figured out….

    any suggestions on this? i am reeeeeeeeeally wanting to nip this sh** in the bud… maybe i need to get a new set of friends at church, pal around with them, perhaps it is a nice cool couple and a very handsome guy! yeah! hm.. and i can say something like, oh I got a new mp3 player! cool huh? and he will see the same one with the couple and the handsome guy… the handsome guy will pass me and say, hey, mia! i think i have your mp3 player and you have mine! i will laugh and say, ah! we must have gotten them mixed up last night! oh well, thank you and see you tomorrow!!!

    ‘m’ would say, wtf…. what last nite?? i say oh after bible study i was on my way home but they asked if i could follow them out to blah blah for the handsome guy to get blah blah…. and well, the handsome guy insisted i ride with him and we all went to the mall to get the handsome guy’s shirt, and he bought us all mp3 players! isn’t this the coolest!

    well, gotta get some sleep, handsome guy is asking if he can pick me up to help him with the new introducing classes for church, he’s just a friend but needs help…

    know you understand “m’ as “s” is a dear friend to you and you so enjoy helping her out….

    nite and got to get some sleep here… hugs to you and i will observe m’ and let you know how it goes:)

    Mia ~

    think it will be curious whenever he gets to the point of showing his affection in public and heaven forbid what it would feel like for him to claim us as a couple in front of all the church friends…

    at first i was not mad at “s” … well, now i am clearly CLEARLY MAD at her, she is becoming very blatent, and what kills me is that is SO NOT MY STYLE. I DON’T CARE IF IT IS BRAD PITT, i do not flaunt, flirt, sit around just so i can sit with him, if a guy wants me let him come to me NOT ME TO HIM. so i am MAD AT ‘M’ to playing into her, her playing into him…

    and how is it they are all buddy buddy anyway…

    you see “o” was MY FRIEND!!!! yessire, and “m” was likeing me last summer and “o” was in my circle of friends to do stuff that i head up… well “r” starts at our church, they start dating and “s” becomes buddy buddy with “r” … “o” asked “r” out and they date oh and he knew immediately and everyone knew he claimed her, he is very respectful of her really, he puts his arm around her, holds her hand is very sweet…

    but what kills me is “m” he dates me moves closer to me, but starts doing things with them??? they all would go camping and ask “m” to go… he would call “o” and do favors for him and then they would all do favors for “s” so he would call her and get buddy buddy, some of the people at church thought they were dating… and i talked with him last summer about this ‘s” issue and he even admitted she asked him if they were dating!!!!! this was about 1 month after I told her “m” and i were dating … and she said wow i would have never known it…

    unbelievable … at this point i’m like he is not worth it if this continues… he will loose me for sure…

    xoxoxoxo mia~

    last post for a few days sorry for so many

  1232. #1232 by Lioness on February 25, 2010 - 2:57 pm

    Mia,
    I feel so bad for you but I know exactly what you are going through he tells you everything you want to hear. Taurus men are famous for saying well she is just a friend, when the truth of the matter is that he is interested in her and he is probably sleeping with her. Taurus men like to have their fall back women when something goes wrong with what they have. Tell him you are happy for him and his new found friends and tell him that you are seeking a normal relationship somewhere else without all of the drama that goes with it. Such as him saying he wants you tells you how he feels and then he is hanging out with some other chick. My taurus man never had the balls to tell me what was really going on he makes up stories or he just dismisses it. The only truth I ever got was when he went through my friend to tell her things and that is how I knew. I have pretty much given up on mine when he has this girl around him 24/7 and he lies to me and makes up stories. He even went to the extreme and told me I am not stalking you I dont mean any harm wtf seriously? Then in the next breath it is I dont want to hurt your feelings. I dont get it at all but I am about sick of this and ready to find someone normal and let him mess up his life w this woman because I can already see it happening they have already had problems and supposedly have only been together for 4 months so that is not a good sign there at all. People dont change they may do it for a month or so to make things work out for a little longer but it usually never works out in the long run. Mia let him have at it you are so much better than that and you deserve no drama, happiness, and not having to compete for his attention because that is what he wants to boost his ego trip. Dont even get mad at him when you finally are done with him. Tell him flat out that you wish him all the best and you have simply had enough and are just tired of the push and pull thing and you are out to find someone who doesnt do any of that because you deserve better!!! xoxoxoxo Lioness

  1233. #1233 by Lioness on February 25, 2010 - 5:18 pm

    well girls,
    this is the beginning of day one for me that I have cut all contact with my taurus. I am stepping out of the equation since he has told my friend that he is moving in w this woman. I told him yesterday on his alias that I did care for him and sometimes it may not show because I hide things. After my conversation with him he tells me he will talk to me tomorrow. Well I am not going to be there for you to talk to anymore because I dont know if I am being used for some fall back girl or I am just online entertainment anymore to him so that is the reason I am going and he can deal with my disappearance this time. I plan to not be here tommorrow and find something to do so I wont be at home as well. I have decided to let him go and he can have at what he wants I know deep down in my heart that its not going to work out anyways he is too stubborn gets too jealous and likes stability and not always being on the go which is the total opposite of this girl that he is seeing so I will gladly let him have at it and he can realize he made a big mistake for letting me walk especially when he had the nerve to tell me that if a man wanted to be with a woman that bad he would so I have already gotten my answer he didnt want to be with me so I am gone for good. I will check back later hope everyone is doing well!!!!

  1234. #1234 by lola on February 25, 2010 - 5:24 pm

    hello everybody. i read a few recent posts and i have to tell you that my taurus after a year and a half seems finally to start falling. he s been pushing and pulling for the last 6 7 months, and just recently we stayed apart for 4 weeks, which never happened before.we max did 3 weeks. this last time he invited me out and when we went back to his he said for the first time he missed me when we were being intimate. i dont wanna think he just said it to have me fisicaly that night( cuz i said there was no way we could get intimate that night ). h then was more sweet n caring than ever , even the day after he hugged me before we separated, normally he doesnt, and avoid fisical contact.

    since then he tried to avoid texting me back , just picked up the phone once, saying at the end “call me”. so i called him a few more times, but he didnt answer. so i texted him to say to contact me back when he has time, but he didnt. so i tried to call one more time, cuz he normally respond even later or day after to call or text, but he didnt pick up the phone, so i left a message on his voicemail saying , that the fact he didnt even respond at all to my texts and calls doesnt make me think something happened to him, but he just makes me think after all this time of hanging out together and seeing each other, and him saying he cares a lot and missed me, that he doesnt want me to bother him. so i said also dont worry i won’t.

    now what do you girls think that he just doesnt care anymore, his fear of commitment drives him even to do that, or he s so confused and doesnt understand his feelings and scared about them that he just doesnt know what to do or how to cope with them? or do you think that will lead him to take a decision of more commitment when he returns to me.

    cuz we always came back and started to see each other again after all these times he took a break and pulled back.
    i guess now it was time to put the relationship to the next level and he felt the same too and got scared to rush or do anything. but this silence and not answering my calls really makes me more confused.

    girls please, especially jane or saggi ( i think you re the experts here) how do you see all this?

    oh my guy is nearly 30 this year and he always said ” i always said i will settle when im 30″, maybe it is time………..?

    thank you so much and hope to keep you posted soon.xx

  1235. #1235 by saggi girl on February 25, 2010 - 8:57 pm

    Jess,

    thanks for your understanding for my situation and i did feel a little bit released for sending that message out.. he did not call me or text me last night as i expected, but as you said, i will give him time and space he needs. Hopefully, he will forgive me..

    I will use the break-time to think about what and how i would do it if he does come back.. i do not want to repeat the same crazy cycle again but it does take two people to tangle.. but i will make sure that i appreciated more than to complain..

    One thing about me is that sometimes, i was listening to his saying but not really listening.. i guess that is something him and i both need to improve if we still have the chance to be together..

    thank you again. Jess. hope we all can make something at the end..

  1236. #1236 by Mia on February 25, 2010 - 9:07 pm

    Lola,
    Jane, Saggi, Jess too are all great experts here. ur guy will come back, just sounds like the push/pull cycle. my guy did the exact same thing as yours with the physical contact! he is starting to fall too… if you mean falling for you after all this time, moving up? yes… mine hugged me and kissed me too for the first time over the holidays, but yes they move up then back two steps, but until he is calling you his girlfriend, showering you with gifts, i would just still let go and treat him as a friend.

    i see you are doing fine, but i’m not sure i would tell him how you feel so much about your texts and calls. i would probably only call him once, text him once but not mention anything just hey hope you are doing great… then just pretend you may never hear from him again… that is what i did and with that i never got myself into a spot where i would be too hurt.

    even when he is intimate with you, hugging you, don’t expect this comes with a new level, you just smile and take it as a grain of salt, because when you mentally calculate him as more than a friend, your expectations of how he should behave towards you will always spell commitment! and he is not ready yet, just testing waters with you… be very patient he will come back… stay busy and happy! you are doing fine, but no contact you have left the ball in his court, he likes picking it up! and will develop a healthy respect for you when you can keep the relationship as positive as you can, even in your angst for now:) my thingee is if we are not yet “boyfriend / girlfriend” then i keep most things positive swallow my hurt and keep going… it only spells more hurt for you when you say, oh you said you would call, or your repeated texts, calls, that kind of pushes him away and he will relate to you as a negative that you may “get on to him” where as you want to give him the impression of he is welcome anytime without you questioning him…. just smiling and enjoying your time with him… let go and be happy he will be back!!!

    Lioness, we are fine now. I so appreciate your comments! yes I do agree but now we are farther and he is ligit now. I can tell you he has no true interest in her and i KNOW he is not sleeping with her she is not very pretty, i don’t mean this in a bad way at all… but i can tell you by her actions HE IS NOT SLEEPING with her! she is very much well conservative she probably would not let him get past first base, i do trust him… i will let you know how it goes… i know him and he is bringing me around his parents.

    i’m going by my intuition this entire time and it has not proved me wrong yet. but it does feel very good to be genuine with him:)

    love and kisses and hugs to all, Lioness, you stay strong, you are beautiful:)

    mia ~ xoxoxoxo

  1237. #1237 by saggi girl on February 25, 2010 - 9:38 pm

    Mia,

    thanks for your encouraging spirit… you are wonderful.

  1238. #1238 by saggi girl on February 25, 2010 - 10:02 pm

    Jane,

    do not feel bad that he did not bring you to the public area most recently as we did not go to movie theater very often when we see each other. Before i moved in to stay with my friend temporarily, he used to hang out at my place with mine cooking for him.. sometimes, he will ask me if he needs to bring anything.. but i know his situation, so i normally say no.. they do love home made meal.. i did well on that part…

    As for gift, he does not buy me much as he is cheap..LOL. my first gift is a T-shirt he bought for me when he travels to see his dad in new york after 2 months dating..he said that he bought in the airport.. i wear that as my sleeping wear now.. some other gifts are like winter boots, key chain, mug, water pitcher, pants/ sweater(this is my christmas gift for this past christmas after i cried over his cheap birthday gift which is a gift card), he does not buy me any expensive gift, the most expensive gift is the winter boots, that is my first birthday gift.. i do not think he loves me by the time when he gave me that gift.. so from my point of view, the gift does not say anything about their affection.. i do not think it correlated with their love for you..

    Hang in there, but sometimes, like i said that you have to request something like time to spend together, otherwise, it will be too slow moving..i suffered from that a lot.. so you are no different.. it was true that if they were hurt before, they will make sure that they will not get hurt again.. i guess if they get hurt, their scar was deeper than most other signs.. I guess.

    One thing i agree with Jess is that they do not love easily.. they can flirt with pretty girls or fall for them.. but they do not love easily.. my guy told me the same thing.. i remembered we were having lunch together one time, i asked how many woman he has loved in his life.. he refused to answer, then when the atmosphere got right.. then he told me that it has been 3 times, one is his first lover at college.. another one is his wife..then when i asked him who is the 3rd one, he pinched my arm and did not say anything.. then he said” you should have known that i did not love easily..” i do not know how their system works.. but i guess that is how they love.. and their love build on the trust.. they do not trust easily.

    Jane, when you feel bad, come to this site to vent, share, like i did in the past. Jess knows all of my drams, and she never gives up on me and always help.. so, do not afraid.. as we will always share… either good or bad..

  1239. #1239 by Lioness on February 25, 2010 - 10:24 pm

    Mia,
    Am so glad things are starting to look up for you!!!! I was laughing at your post when you said this girl was not even pretty lol I feel the same way about mine how he found this not so good looking woman that looks like she could be his son and he is in his 30’s lol You would think that he could have picked someone more prettier to make me jealous…lol I just cant stand this push and pull thing at all it makes my nerves go all wrong…… I figured I would give him a taste of his own medicine by doing the same thing back to him….. Jane just hang in there things always turn out the same your guy is totally into you and everyone can see that he is just a taurus and that is his problem so just hang in there and keep on what you are doing!!!! xoxox Lioness

  1240. #1240 by ms pisces on February 26, 2010 - 5:23 am

    hey girls,

    Haven’t posted in a few weeks. The week of Valentine’s Day my Taurus actually surprised me and took us on a four day cruise. Told me the night before to pack. It was amazing and we’ve already booked another cruise for July. We needed that alone time away from friends and other drama. When we got back he took me to Jareds and told me to pick out rings that I like. So things seem to be looking great for the moment.

  1241. #1241 by Mia on February 26, 2010 - 10:00 am

    ms pisces,
    That is such a beautiful story, your guy surprising you on Valentine’s Day with a 4 day cruise only to have had another booked for July and now ‘ he should have taken her to Jared’s ‘ he did… so precious and sweet…

    2 comments:
    1. i hate u !!!! lol, just teasing of course, remember we are never jealous of our sweet gals, teeth clenching on pillow here….

    2. are you sure of this guys’ birthday? i think you may are supposed to be on the other one… like libra??? ๐Ÿ˜‰

    nah very very happy for you!!!
    thank you Lioness and Saggi!

    very very tired…

    xoxoxoxoxoo
    mia~ i keep falling asleep… zzzzzzzzzzz nite!

    oh doing very well, i am learning so much about meself.. great book call make up don’t break up… i think i am a distancer and he is a distancer… will talk more soon

  1242. #1242 by Jane on February 26, 2010 - 10:09 am

    Saggi girl

    Thank you, what would I do without you!!!????
    I do mean that, I feel like a am going insane sometimes!! Only sometimes!! Lol

    I wish you , Jess and Mia lived nearby, I could invite you all for nice coffee and a meal ( I cook good!!) And there we would spill our gutts on these Taurus men that drive us mad!! HEE HEE!!!

    When I read what you ladies say it feels clear and I calm down, you are right Saggi girl.
    With my situation now I am feeling quiet low coz since he told me he going away for few days to stay with friend before he flys on holiday next week, oh yes remember I took yours and Jessโ€™s advice to send โ€˜sweetโ€™ and to the point message not my โ€˜dramaโ€™ one!! Which I did he responded โ€˜we will princess, we willโ€™. Meaning spend time together before he goes.
    So, yesterday morning hadnโ€™t heard from him by late morning so I text โ€˜hi how is your day going blah blahโ€™ he replied asking how mine was as he new it my first back at work from a few days break and he was making โ€˜funโ€™ of me in text (my accent different to his) and he does it so well!!
    I instantly wanted him near me as I love it when he does that (so jess may be right with the setting a trap for me to want him)
    Any way I text back and this is where I think I may have MESSED UP!!!!! In a kinda way.
    I text saying something likeโ€ฆ. โ€˜Oh you are so funny, give me a hug right now please! I think of you and just want you so badโ€™ then I said something like โ€˜oh I was just having a moment with you thereโ€™!! blah blah. Anyway hw didnโ€™t reply and that was ok as didnโ€™t think he would to that!! Lol
    So about 3hours later when he new I would be home from work he replied of course he didnโ€™t mention what I said โ€˜hi honey I just got home, one more day to go!! (he counting down his break away!) he then asked how my day was.
    I didnโ€™t text him back but thought oh stuff it I will call him instead!!! I never call him as you well know these guys just donโ€™t do phones!!! Well how true that is as he didnโ€™t answer!!!!! He didnโ€™t text, neither did I, then now this a.m and I havnt heard again!!

    What I am thinking is he in โ€˜holidayโ€™ mode all excited ect and I suppose I am not his priority, I agree I am being a little over sensitive here but Saggi girl, we have 2 days left to see eachother before he goes away, I made contact with him yesterday first after he upset me with his plans day before and now since he would have had โ€˜missed callโ€™ from me yesterday he hant even bothered to make contact!! Tough if I needed him for anything coz he hasnโ€™t even checked if I am ok!!??

    I am feeling I donโ€™t want to contact him, and that he should be thinking about our weekend together that he said we would have, what if he doesnโ€™t make contact!!?? I am feeling vulnerable at the moments with him and all his lovely plans and I really jus want to sit back and see how much he wants to see me before he goes, how much do I matter to him!!??
    I would usually text him if I donโ€™t here and he always, well mostly replies and part of me feels I should coz he going away but that would just be my fear factor kicking in, in case he goes with out seeing me!! Suppose if he does that I will know for sure how much I mean to him then!!!
    Knowing how Taurus are/behave do you think I am right to sit back and wait for him to make plan with me?? Usually whenever we arrange to meet it is me who makes plan. Like you said saggi girl, that is needed or it would never happen!!
    Saggi girl, about the gift thing what made me say that is I feel like I am at times โ€˜givingโ€™ too much to the relationship with nothing in return and you read everywhere how Taurus buy there desired woman gifts to show affection, well my guy as bought me nothing at all, oh well he bought me a meal once and on 2/3 separate occasions he has bought me coffee!! Itโ€™s the thought saggi, that means more to me but I am more than happy to cook for him especially as I know he loves my cooking but he never โ€˜makes a returned offerโ€™ of anything like โ€˜a movieโ€™ or to take me anywhere, we donโ€™t go nywhere except my house when we meet or cafรฉ for coffee!! I just feel taken for granted sometimes and it would not matter to me how small his gesture as I am vey sentimental and anything would do, I am that simple!!

    I do hope you are ok, sorry for my long winded post, the week end approaching and I am feeling worried!! I know your mind is full saggi girl, I hope to that you and your guy meet asap to get cards on the table!! Hugs to you x

  1243. #1243 by Jane on February 26, 2010 - 10:30 am

    Mia

    Sweet Mia, you are so amazing and I would like to get your guy by the throat and give him a good shake!!! (oh in a nice way of course that did sound aggressive!! LOL)
    Mia, he has no idea of how amazing you are, either that or he wearing โ€˜blinkersโ€™ at the moment!!
    What is wrong with these men!? Do they need a bolt of lightning before they move!

    Mia, this must be driving you crazy!! The t shirt thing and I am trying to understand your story (bless you mia I get lost sometimes trying to follow!) Why are they behaving that way!? Its like his life with you is in another dimension to his life with them!! What is that about and why!? Why do they and him seem to exclude you or make out you not there, well you are there and its about time they new it donโ€™t you think!!!!! What is he doing!!!???

    This foursome, double date crap and should you say I am done!?
    I would have to speak to him alone and call him on it!? They should know about you, if they donโ€™t then why!? He cant continue to have his cake and it Mia, you deserve to be there, its like 2 separate lives and yet the funny thing (serious funny) is that you all know each other and attend same church!!
    Mia I totally admire your composure, I bet at times you have steam coming out of our ears!!!
    Bless you Mia, your mind full too and you are here helping us with your wisdom, thank you.
    I would be having a nice ladylike sweet chat the next time you meet him alone, you deserve to know what is going on in this circleโ€ฆโ€ฆsweet dreams Mia and hugs to you

  1244. #1244 by Jane on February 26, 2010 - 11:00 am

    Lola

    Hi to you lola,

    Well your story matches pretty much everyoneโ€™s here at sometime or another, these guys are famous for this push/pull crap!!
    You say after a year and a half he finally falling, well the behaviour is classic with โ€˜disappearingโ€™ when feelings creep in thatโ€™s for sure!

    Lola if you read my recent posts you will know how I nearly sent my guy โ€˜dramaโ€™ text yes you know how these guys hate drama yet frustrate us to the brink of wanting to shake them to the core!! Lol well thanks to jess and saggi girl, I didnโ€™t send my โ€˜dramaโ€™ text as I realised they both right it wont get me anywhere, he wouldnโ€™t respond I would end up feeling worse, soi sent sweet text an got sweet reply!! Do you see how you have to treat him!? Like a child! With kid gloves!! Its true itโ€™s the only way for him to โ€˜hear youโ€™ so it brings me to your voicemail you left him, although it wasnt as bad as what I was sending mine, your voicemail of โ€ฆyou saying about after all this time together ect, telling you he misses you, telling you not to bother him not to worry coz you wont, he will see that as โ€˜dramaโ€™ and you attacking him! He will realise he has upset you an retreat raher than face the music!! These guys do not face the music, no matter what that music is, he just wont do it!!
    Donโ€™t forget lola, he will have missed calls from you an unanswered texts before you sent voicemail an its all too much for him, believe me I know!
    You have been with him a year and a half so know very well that these guys do what they want o do when hey wan o do it an not before!! SOOOO FRUSTRATING!!!!

    You may be right, you know him and all this โ€˜pulling backโ€™ may be because he โ€˜fallingโ€™ they are strange I am learning that fast.
    Mia is right that donโ€™t mention your calls and texts when he contacts you, you act like it didnโ€™t happen coz he will have moved on from that and wonder why you still holding it, itโ€™s how they are! Stubborn and self centred but we love them eh!! Lol
    What I have learnt with the help of the wonderful ladies here is, if he upset you, say what you need to say in a feminine ladylike way and then forget it. He will then hear you, be sure of that and he more likely to do something about it.
    Saying this to you and my goodness I struggle to do it myself sometimes!! Lol I need to take my own advice.
    I am sure he will be in touch with you, he just wont do it if he thinks you are angry or upset with him!! Complicated Taurus!!!!!

  1245. #1245 by Jane on February 26, 2010 - 11:12 am

    Ms Pisces

    Hey fantastic!!! You have him!! How lovely and hereโ€™s me lucky if I get โ€˜coffeeโ€™ LOL!
    I am so happy for you, so come on ms pisces we need to know your tricks!!?? How did you master the ever complicated world of TAURUS MEN!!!!
    Great news!!! x

  1246. #1246 by Jane on February 26, 2010 - 11:40 am

    Jess

    Thank you for your post to me, I actually agree about the sex thing that does change things, you didnโ€™t mislead me, I am glad you said it as I needed to remember that, you said that to me along time ago. I remember you said too how although Taurus love sex, they happy to wait for it also with right woman so I hope that still stands for me.
    When you say they have to be connected to a woman on all levels to love them, I hear what you say, it makes perfect sense but how do I get to that as we โ€˜friendsโ€™ do you think because of his respect he would wait for me to initiate it!? To give him the go ahead!?

    Jess as I said in post above I think you right about him starting to seduce me into wanting him!! I just thought it should be him to make the move!??? He does know how I feel about him so I am sure he would know that I am ready to move things forward. He did say about a month ago when we talked about him being ready and he asked me to be patient with him he said โ€˜I will just know when time is rightโ€™ not sure exactly what he meant by that as it could cover a few things couldnโ€™t it?? I thought at the time that it was about him being ready for relationship. I remember though when you say, they talk bullshit about โ€˜being friendsโ€™ it just protection so on that basis maybe he waiting for green light from me, what do you think jess!?

    Jess one more thing when you said how it is always their way, yes I do know that and deep down I accept that, I just vent it out here!! I know that wont change, I go that, but you say how thy let you have opinion on things. Yes I get that too but Jess I struggle with best way to get him to do something? I know they need some coaxing not pushing or they wont budge an example I would like to ask you about is thisโ€ฆ
    Take foe instance this week end, I would like to see him Saturday and Sunday as we wont see each other for 2weeks but he probably wont even think of that! I am no sure how I can get that idea to him in a way that he either jumps at it or thinks it his idea!! Lol I donโ€™t care which it is but Jess any ideas!!?? Maybe what would you do? I do struggle with that side of things, I tend to just say โ€˜maybe we could do this or maybe thatโ€™ but he still doesnโ€™t take the bait!! Goodness me, hard work! Lol
    Thank you x

  1247. #1247 by Jane on February 26, 2010 - 12:14 pm

    Ladies

    Just looking over my posts to you and noticed on a few the writing/text has printed funny in some bits!! OOPS! No idea what happened there just incase you all think your eyes need glasses!! Lolโ€ฆ.

  1248. #1248 by lola on February 26, 2010 - 1:25 pm

    hi girls.

    thank u jane and mia for giving me hints. yes i agree with u. i was just worried about the fact that for the first time he didnt reply even after days. but i wont try to call him this time even after a month. i normally iniciate after 3 weeks the contact again not mentioning anything that happened before as u said, and he sounds really happy all the times i do iniciate it, cuz he s too proud i think to do it in the first place.

    im feeling really like he decided to run away from me cuz he s realizing he s falling in love and he doesnt want to be hurt again like in the past. but i ve never done anything to hurt him, maybe he s done it many times, but we re still here.

    about the gifts he always buy me dinners, drinks, cinema etc. when we go out, but he never bought me any gift, none for xmas or birthdays, i did.and he was happy to receive gifts(selfish) . he shouldnt accept any gift if he has no intention to give any. i guess he didnt cuz we re not boyfriend and girlfriend and he doesnt want to let me understand through the gifts we are that close……whatever…

    i think also he s afraid that i can take advantage of him if he buys me gifts, like his previous girlfriend. but he knows im far different from that manipulative b……ch……..

    well if he doesnt call me by 4 weeks , i guess i just waisted my time for such a long period and i won’t date a taurus again and will behave totally differnt with other guys in case i start dating someone again.

    xxx to u girls, and fingers crossed for your ones. i think u guys r doing great and it is a much easier situaton than mine, so be happy!

  1249. #1249 by saggi girl on February 26, 2010 - 2:32 pm

    Ms Pisces,

    congratulations!!! at least there is one getting what she wants at the end.. you won the batter… you are the winner.. are we gonna be invited to your wedding??? LOL

  1250. #1250 by saggi girl on February 26, 2010 - 3:26 pm

    Hi Jess and Jane,

    my update… i was kind of stupid last night and did not wait for his contact, but i called him first around 9:35pm, and he did not answer, then he called him again around 10:pm and left him a message wishing him a good night and told him my niece was sick and he can either call me back or not, as it was nothing important.. then 20 minutes later, he texted me back like” got home late.. long day. got your message and hope your niece is ok. be safe tomorrow and talk to you later.”

    ah, that is it.. i do not think he wants to talk to me at all.. probably, he has already moved on..i initiate twice from my side, i can not do it again.. i do not know what he was thinking…Jess, i know, he needs time.. but obviously he does not want to talk to me for sure.. probably, he felt bothered by me.. i am a little bit disappointed..

  1251. #1251 by Jane on February 26, 2010 - 3:53 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi to you, having read that you called him messaged him I have to say my first reaction to that was positive as he did respond to you, I am sure if he had moved on he would not have bothered responding to you at all!!

    Also I think that when he said to you, โ€˜long day, got home late, hope your niece ok, talk laterโ€™ Saggi call, come on now you do know that he obviously cared enough to txt you, why bother otherwise!!? He also said talk later in other words, โ€˜sorry didnโ€™t answer your callโ€™!!! That is what I think. My guy would do EXACTLY the same, if he was all those things your guy said, that is how he would respond. I do think that was ok what he said.
    Saggi girl like I said to you before, all these things ok to respond to when it not happening to us, like me to you now but when it directly effects us we donโ€™t see things as clear, do you see??
    Just think how I said to you in the past, all you just said, if it was me saying that same exact thing, what advise would you say to me!!?? That is how it can help give you perspective on things. I need to remember that for myself!!!

    Still have not heard from my guy since yesterday when I called and he didnโ€™t answer!!!

  1252. #1252 by Lioness on February 26, 2010 - 4:00 pm

    Jane and lola,
    Just hang in their I am sure your man will come around. You are exactly right about the friends thing it is pretty much a front so they can keep close to you and find out what they need to know. I have always found that taurus men always work behind the scenes somehow they are very sneaky and they like to watch what is going on before they get involved and you may not be able to do so. Mine did a background check on all of my family, he is constantly operating behind the scenes doing stuff like watching, pretending to be someone else to find out the information he needs before he gets involved. Mine is with someone else and I dont get that at all why go to all of the trouble at all when you are with someone???? Sometimes you feel like they are gone for good and you felt like you wasted so much time with them because when you get too close to them they push you away being not responding to texts, not even talking to you for few days to weeks, and etc. From what I have found they want you when they need you then you must be there or they get ticked off. Its just part of the self centerdness. Some of them also dont like it when you do the same things to them as what they do to you they meaning not texting back and etc. They like to control and possess everything and if that means playing mind games with your head then they will as long as they have some control over you. They are very insecure people and they have to test you out over and over again and it may not seem like they are doing it but they are. I hope everything is going well with everyone and just hang in there if it was meant to be then it is if not then you know where you stand right!!!! Mia thanks for the advice and just hang in there with yours he reminds me of mine and he is probably just testing you out to see what you would do about this situation he is in with the girl and the other couple. Maybe you should act like you dont care and tell him you trust him and let him do what he wants he is going to anyways regardless… Goodluck ladies!!! xoxo Lioness

  1253. #1253 by saggi girl on February 26, 2010 - 5:26 pm

    Jane,

    thanks for your comfort and i do hope that i can calm down..

    i will keep you posted if there are more into my situation.. i am moving into a new place this sunday.. so i will be busy packing this saturday.. got a lot to do.. hope you will have a nice weekend.

  1254. #1254 by Jane on February 26, 2010 - 6:11 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hey they say moving is one of the most stressful things in life to do (that of course is along with being with a Taurus!!! Lol)

    So saggi girl, you will be very busy and possibly stressed also so yes, calm down, concentrate on all you need to do and yes keep me posted with your Taurus, I hope you do get positive developments during the week end, you get to see him or a least talk things over.
    Best of luck with moving Saggi girl, I hope you will be happy there.
    I amsure your guy will want to see how things are for you in your new placeโ€ฆ..!!!

  1255. #1255 by Jane on February 26, 2010 - 9:51 pm

    Hi ladies

    Hope you all ok here.
    Well once again I lost patience and having not heard from him since yesterday when I rang him and he didnโ€™t answer I thought it best to leave him with his sorting out as he got to get things ready for his trip, so havenโ€™t wanted to bother him.

    So tonight I thought I would send him a short text to say hello and I just asked how his last day in work went.
    I sent text nearly 2hours ago, I honestly thought he would text back otherwise I would not have bothered him as I know he would be busy, obviously too busy even for me!

    I was adamant this afternoon that I was going to wait for him to contact me to arrange us meeting over the week end; I guess I wanted to see how important it is to him to see me before he goes then I thought oh what harm would a little text do!? He probably appreciate the sentiment, how wrong I was.
    I am really hurt and disappointed because he being so stubborn that he probably putting me in background, but ladies if I am honest I really thought he thought more of me than toโ€ฆ 1. Ignore my call yesterday 2. Ignore my text tonight!!! Especially as we wont see each other for 2 weeks.
    I have no idea why he is doing this at all; he probably got his โ€˜controlโ€™ head on and making me wait until he good and ready!!!

  1256. #1256 by Lioness on February 26, 2010 - 10:18 pm

    Jane,
    I feel bad for you just try to hang in there or let him go!!! I am really angry as I right this I was getting ready to leave my place and found out the Taurus I speak of is moving out!!! I am so hurt and I feel so used and like I never mattered at all to him. He had the nerve to write me on his alias around noon and to tell me hi… wtf seriously you have moved in with your gf and you still want to contact me and play head games. I havent responded nor do I intend to speak to him again…. I just dont understand why he had to play headgames with me for going on 7 months and why on earth waste the time…. was it just an ego boost or what? I dont get it anymore at all and how he could hate me that much to do that sort of thing…… best of luck you guys with these men you will def. need it………..Lioness

  1257. #1257 by Mia on February 27, 2010 - 6:26 am

    Jane,
    I need to catch up a bit here. Is it me? or do our emotions run so very low, for his distance or something he did to hurt us, then only 5 minutes passes just after contact with him and all is abit better, our emotions run way back up to high and so in love, what a sweetie… he knew i was mad and he apologized, tell ya lata…

    but just read the first part about wishing we lived close, yes! and are you kidding me? are you kidding me? you cook great…. okay, let me give you my email, celestialblue@hotmail.com and you give me your address, i’m there! lolllllllllll…

    really for you or any of our precious gals here, please email me! it is not totally out of the question for us to think we could visit one of these days!

    at the very least, we could get some book and be reading it together and discuss the stuff that pertains to us… like the self help books on how to be stronger and healthier to make realtionships work!

    going to read more posts, thank you sweet jane!!!

    i do feel much better from him and from you!

    mia xoxoxo

  1258. #1258 by Lioness on February 27, 2010 - 8:09 am

    Mia,
    I totally agree with you I wasnt sure that I would be back on here or not. After watching my taurus guy move out and into some other womans home I was going to cut off all contact with him. I got on invisible and had all kinds of messages all day today from his various different personalities. I finally talked to one and was completly messing with him and told him I got us a love plant and it reminded me of our love. I was really hoping for the effect to make him think I was crazy and for him to leave me alone. He asked me if I loved him I told him yes at that time I was just kidding because I thought to myself no one messes with my head and gets away with it! I was quite suprised when he turns back around and he says I am in love with you too….. I for real thought he was just playing me at my own game. He had to go saying he was at his friends but still talking to me aka he was at his new girls house and gonna talk to me! He came back later and he was asking me about any dates I had. I told him I didnt want to discuss it he is like I can take it I know you really dont like me and that is what he said to me. I told him I never said that and that I thought he hated me for doing what he was doing….. he came back and said I am in love with you…. I said to him how can you say that to me when you dont even mean it….. he got mad at me he said I said what I felt I dont care if you believe me or not…….. apparently he says he was taking his time with me I asked him about the I dont want to hurt your feelings bit I told him that I thought it was a nice way of putting I am not interested….. I asked him flat out why he just couldnt tell me that he wasnt he said I didnt mean it like that I meant it the other way which I guess is that he just didnt want to hurt me and he didnt want to get hurt as well. I told him about how I have tried to push him away on purpose avoid him fight my feelings for him and I couldnt do it he said that is what he was doing as well. I think he knew that I was looking at other men and talking to them and he wanted to explore his options as well meaning the taking the time with me……. he said that he wanted some time away with a heavy heart and to take time. I told him that I knew he was taking his time that I didnt care he could explore his options and I wasnt going to stand in his way just wish you the best is what I told him…. He said we get really close and act like a married couple and he reminisces on that for some reason…….. he said we always care about others and he liked that….. My problem is I am just so confused I dont want to set myself up for a fall with him he is with someone telling me all of this on some alias name I guess he thinks that may make it better for himself and to her he can pass it off as a game when he knows and I know its him……I dont know if I can trust him but I dont know why he would say that he loves me and not mean it. He also had issues about us living so close together as well. when him and I first met he would always smile give me that look they do and that is all I could think of…… he knew that I was going to be mad tonight and thats why he wanted to comfort me I guess is all I can think of I feel somewhat better but not really because I dont know if this is real or not….. It would explain alot of things and why he asks about me to my friend, why he does the crazy background checks, why he is asking about me to his gf’s cousin, why he told my friend to wait for him, and said that he was with that girl just to make me mad, and etc etc. I am just so confused I dont want to be held at the realm of a player or someone who has no intentions of ever getting with me……or better yet being used as a back up girl…… Why are these men so comfortable? How they can do something and then play on your emotions afterwards to make you feel better… I need to get some sleep I feel somewhat better but I also feel weary as well….. xoxo girls Lioness

  1259. #1259 by Mia on February 27, 2010 - 8:23 pm

    Hi All,

    Pleeeease forgive me as I have a problem that is urgent and weighing on my heart, i have been crying so…

    Lioness,
    I read your last post as it relates to EXACTLY what i am going through RIGHT NOW, LIKE I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH HIM…

    Lioness, it is UNCANNY how our guys are rubber stampes with the exact same heart and behaviors to match.

    Please give me encouragement and please pray for my situation as i so pray for all you.

    First i must say Lioness, Just Reading Ur Last Post, shows me that MINE I think is in love with me… but THEIR behavior is THE EXACT OPPOSITE. You say he said he loves you, a huge milestone, you have to feel relieved on that, and I think it is true and true for mine & hopefully he will say that to me someday.

    I read that taurus will not tell you anything that is untrue when it comes to matters of the heart. and they also say to you, “I don’t care what you think, I don’t say anything I don’t mean” meaning you questioned his saying he loves you. Mine has done that exact thing too… When I asked if he really wanted to date me… or something… he gave me the answer I so longed for, but I said his actions didn’t match, he said “I don’t care what you think, I don’t say anything I don’t mean and I’m not a person that sticks around, I would not be asking you out if I didn’t want to date you.”

    I think we all are as abnormal or really pyschic because no other ‘normal’ woman would stay.

    the other uncanny thing is how he said “we care about others and he likes that” mine I think loves that about me. he sees that in me.

    Please listen and yes, tell me everything is fine:

    We were to go out tonight after his class at church, we were thinking a drive in movie.

    now back up two nights, I texted him something about what I’m wearing that day… he didn’t text me back. not too much a biggee, but still is a tiny bit unusual, just means for me to pull back even more.. or let it go. i let it go. i texted him last night about something important to me, a bit of info and to say a small prayer, he usually responds gently (i rarely do this) but again no response. still he didn’t have to respond, but again this goes back to if this is what i want the rest of my life, no response to something important to me? do they change when they declare their love? hm, just observing here.

    then later because it was unusual from the night before and last night, i just text once more… “Hope u ok” he texts immediately, “i fine” that tickled me so. i just texted back, “okay, u sweet. enjoy ur nite!” his text comforts me, just does. so i was cool after that. about 30 minutes later (last night) he texts, “what u doing” I text, “i finiishing eating” he texts “what u going to do” “just chilling, no plans:)” then next one i text “we watching the same show you like, my friend had it on, hope you have a good nite.” that was all from me, he texted if i had my son at the same time i texted he is welcome to come over if he likes. and he said “k” to both. but I now realize he said “k” cuz i said yes i have my son but not next friday. i asked again if he was coming, and he did not respond.

    NOW just 20 minutes LATER I get an email from him to the entire singles group to go bowling saturday nite. yes that is when he was supposed to take ME OUT. I was SHOCKED. It stung so badly like a dagger in my heart. I was questioning his sanity, but MINE even moreso. I’m like, uh uh, nope you DO NOT DO THIS TO ME. sorry gals but talk about INSENSITIVE. he WAS JUST TALKING TO ME!

    I texted him 2 MINUTES after he sent the note. “u online?” he texted immediately back, “no u?” I’m like WHAT?????? I text, “oh would like to get online with u and talk abit” he texted “in a min” (that means nope) (remember they can’t say no if they like you)

    so I called him! yup! I knew he probably wouldn’t answer he runs away like a scared timid deer when i contact him too much at a time… he didn’t answer. i hung up.

    5 MINUTES LATER, he calls me back. hmmmm. okay, i still have some working room with him… I ask if he is having a good nite, he is driving i could tell… I said, “I just got the note about bowling? how did that come about? i thought we were going out?” he said, “oh it’s okay, i don’t have to go, we can go to drive-in” I said, oh no, just please tell me how it came about? where are you? he said he and his friend had been playing pool. that he had spoken to “l” and last night (he muddered) i said hm, i don’t know who she is? he said oh she is a friend i talk to her quite often, i’m like okay? last night was there something at church or something? he was vague, and wanted me to drop it. i said oh yes i remember her, she is nice, i think bowling is great, i’m not mad just want you to be honest with me. he said it is at 8 pm.

    well, i got online late last night he saw me! he asked if i was mad? aha! you see, he does care. i said yes abit, just be honest and i don’t get mad. i was very leary and said how can you send it if you were at home.. he said he sent the bowling message from his blackberry. we were frisky online and then he wants to do something with me after bowling tonight.

    today, i get another message from the guy in another group, he was showing our group that he had fwded “m” info about bowling, “m” must have called him. IT SAID TO LOOK FOR “m” “l” and “S” there… YUP, THE GAL that he keeps hanging around. THERE YOU GO. he contacted her last night, I KNOW HE DID CALLL HER…

    So i had to nip this in the bud gals, i can’t rest.

    just moments ago I call him, HE ANSWERED. I can’t believe it. i asked how his day is… he was out driving again… i said oh we are suposed to look for you, blah and “the gal friend” when we come tonight??? he just shrugged and said oh i don’t know who will be there… I falt out said, “m” calmly, do YOU have FEELINGS for her???? he said, “no i do not have feelings for her.” I said, “so you want to date me and you are genuine about dating me? right?” he didn’t answer. I said, “right?” he said, “right.” I said, “m” if we were at different churches EVERYTHING would be fine…. your behavior is totally justified if we were not at the same church. So i said actually i am very excited about going and it will be fun. my friend here who lives with me is so excited. thanks for that great idea! he said it was “l” idea, not his… I also asked him again, you were really playing pool with “o” last nite? he said yes. when we got off phone we were nice to each other and he was soft with me (for him that was soft)

    (My true thought is it doesn’t bother me if he is friends with “s” and “l” that is fine as long as I know he doesn’t want to date them. I do know both and they are not pretty. so sorry I don’t mean that in an ugly way, I’m saying that well, us gals here are gorgeous, very sexy and get attention from lots of guys, i know so cuz you say taurus ONLY goes out with knock out gorgeous girls and the ones he hangs out with are just the opposite, and that is a sigh of relief for me… so i think he may have called them last night been with them somehow i don’t care and am tired of this)

    My final stupid question to him was are you picking up “s” to go bowling, he said no.

    I cried after I got off phone. Bottomline: I love him and like you Lioness I just can’t leave him now. I think he is crazy in love with me but acts like I’m just an acquantance at church.

    I suspect he will bowl with “s” and not me and my friend I’m sure! he will be with her all night, laugihng with her while me and my friend will bowl, it will be once again excruciating to my heart and I might not can stomach being with him afterwards if he is like that…

    And he may not want to do anything since i called him today. that may have set us way back, but I don’t care, I have to start standing up for myself here.

    this is killing me…

    I just don’t know how much longer i can hold on here…. if this was my girlfriend telling me this, i would say, honey, forget him, you are way too gorgeous and smart to be with a guy you have to ask him if he has feelings for you…

    i just need your encouragement…

    Lioness I won’t give up if you won’t give up!

    We Can!!!!!!!!!!!! We are so beautiful gals, we have the sweetest hearts and our guys have to know this…

    Today I am going to go about my day as if he doesn’t exist. I will pretend I do not know who he is…

    Please say HUGE PRAYERS for me tonight, it will be so hard to see him there with her… she will be talking to him all night long.

    i may text him to please talk with me tonight as when he is with her he seems to forget i exist.

    i won’t but i have to be strong.

    I have noticed one thing that is huge and not sure i can stomach it much longer. he is private, and secret. my other taurus was not, he told me what he was doing. this was does not share with me. my friend says he is just using me for sex, that otherwise he would show others at church we are dating… she says to move away from him.

    enjoy your day all,
    mia xoxoxoxo
    feeling sad:(

  1260. #1260 by Lioness on February 28, 2010 - 1:28 am

    Mia,
    I read your post and I feel as if we are sisters in love with 2 alike taurus men. I saw mine today when I was leaving he was at his apt. packing up things w his new found girl omg she looks like his mother and she has the rattiest long mousy brown hair she has nothing on me at all!!!! I ran into him and I didnt look at him I was dressed in high heel boots and looked real good w my hair all done and my makeup all on and I didnt even look at him. I pretended he didnt even exist to me at all. I could feel him watching me too and my son told me that he was staring at me……. My heart breaks because he is moving in with this woman and I know deep down in my heart it is not going to work out….. He is more of a homebody and she apparently likes to be on the go constantly and they were already having problems early on from what he told a friend of mine. I cannot believe he is doing this. I have thought long and hard all day today and it pained me to see him and him doing this. Anytime before he always was worried about money with me said he had none and then would ask various questions to my friend like if I wanted more children which I dont if I had a step child it would be fine but I dont. He didnt want anymore either. I dont know if this man is trying to play a game with my head by moving in w this person meanwhile getting on aliases declaring his undying love……. how twisted is he for real I feel like telling him tonight if I speak to him that I love you but I have to let you go and explore other options just like you…… I cant sit around here and wait for you to make up your mind when you already did with someone else and I wish you all the best! That is so what I want to write him. I feel like he loves me and other times I feel like it is a lie and he never cared at all. Mia, you have to get to the point of whether or not you want to deal with him and his tests and if you want to continue on. Since he is hanging with other chicks maybe you should start hanging with some guy friends and see how he likes that….. I hear that taurus men love women who play hard to get and they want what they cannot have it makes them work harder to acquire what they want. If they are really into you they won’t let you wander they will sit back and watch or they will join in somehow they are never gone for good. I read this one compatibility for the Leo and the Taurus and at the end of it said that we both dislike change even if he hated me he could never get over it and would still think about me. I thought that was funny when a friend of mine and I were reading compatibility matches. I have also have been going to facade.com and they do free tarot card readings on relationships they are so true when it comes out I couldnt believe it when I found it one day just to have some fun entertainment. But as for your Taurus man Mia you have to decide what you want in life do you still want the hot and cold and him doing his own thing with women and you wondering what that is all about. Maybe you should just keep it friendly with him and keep your other options open I know it will be hard believe me I am trying to do this myself but seeing where he is moving in with someone and she is helping him pack his things well I dont know what else I can do I feel like the 3rd wheel in a love triangle and I cant be 2nd choice to anyone especially when he says he loves me probably as a last resort to keep me from going. It seems he does things he know is going to tick me off and then when I dont talk to him for over a day he goes insane with the messages on different names to make it look like more than one person. I hadnt talked to one of his personalities since 2/13 and he wants to contact me yesterday because fear I guess kicked in and then confess how inlove he is. I do question him because I dont know what to believe anymore or what to feel I feel like a doll pulled at all ends and I am so tired of it. I never felt so used and felt like such a fool yesterday when I saw him moving but then I had the relief of him telling me he loves me and I was like wtf. I think to be honest he is inlove with 2 women and he is having a hard time with that. But in the back of his mind he thinks its ok because he plays it like it is someone else talking to me so he wont be found out. I feel so low right now I dont even know what to do…… Mia I wouldnt even text him let him come to you everytime I know that will be hard but I was the same way as you I would msg him on his own name and most of the time he wouldnt even respond unless I got pissed at him asking him what his deal was it finally got to the point where I told him if he didnt want to talk to me then plz tell me so and I wont bother you anymore he quickly came back and told me how sorry he was and called me honey and told me he doesnt check his name hardly anymore. That was a lie because he had checked his name. I found out he had me in stealth mode to keep an eye on me my friend had his name on her list as well. One day I tested him out I signed in and talked to her and then went invisible a few secs later he signed off. Then I turned it back on normal after he signed on and a few minutes later he popped back on. This was probably the end of september he was doing this. I notice that he keeps doing it and stays invisible and watches. I have no idea what his problem is. He wanted to know about any dates I had had and I flat out told him I didnt want to discuss it with him and he got kind of mad about that. Saying well I know that you dont like me and blah blah blah. If he could only open his eyes some he could see what he is doing and what he wanted was there right there all the time in front of him. Mia, just take a day to think and write down the pros and cons of this man and why you want to be with him. See where you come out with him. I feel like it is all us girls and we put up with this one sided crap because of our love and you are exactly right mia most girls would have gave it up long ago and said see ya with these men. It just shows how much more we are to them and they probably cant see it at all. My taurus man had the nerve last week that greed always wins I am thinking that is why he is with this woman. She has her own home has a decent job and etc. I wasnt any of that and just now getting my life back together because of past events. Well I will check back later to see whats going on have a good night ladies!!!! xoxo Lioness

  1261. #1261 by Mia on February 28, 2010 - 1:35 am

    okay, wish me luck.

    i will read your posts as soon as i can.

    thanks for your support. my sweet friend here and i are going bowling. remember this was the night we were going to go out and he “changed his mind” without keeping me in mind.

    Jess, you would have told me NOT to contact him.

    But I will be stronger next time. I called him earlier, he picked up so it isn’t a total loss. i have to change his perception of me here.

    From this moment on… yup, from this moment on I am going on my “make that taurus man fall head over heels in love with me”

    what is my aim here? to fall for me…. and to WANT to be seen as his girl. my friend said he deliberately did not want me in a booth with him at the restaurant last week. she said it was a statement.

    he says he has no feelings for this girl, yet here she is doing stuff with him and him with her tonight at bowling. sigh.

    here is my plan… i’m going to go and have a great time, i will only treat him as a friend, in my mind i am releasing him once again. even though i held him to dating me exclusively, i felt like i was giving him an ultimatum, i dont’ like that. i never want to force a guy, BUT i don’t want to sit back passively giving him sex on the side and allowing him to treat my as if i do not exist in front of our chruch friends.

    i am way stronger than this and so are you girls.

    if he asks me out afterwards, my other friend said to tell him i have plans, if he asks furhter change the subject and tell him you have plans and good nite. she also said be busy for awhile.

    she said, don’t go out with him for awhile… just say your busy and maybe another time…

    if he misses me, he will be around, if he only wanted me for sex then i will find out.

    i have to find out cuz this is a friends with benefits even though i don’t want to admit it, just cuz of the way i allow him to treat me in public but not taking me out, and being around that girl all the time, they at chruch think he is dating her i think….

    i’m going to get stronger for this… well, need to go get dolled up to look like a knock out tonight!!!! wahoo! wish me luck..
    sending all of you precious ladies my hugs!!! xoxoxox

    oh and my frined also said i acted gtoo much like a guy as i was lifting furniture while moving and i needed to allow the guys to do it… geez, i need to learn how to act like a lady:)

    i am going to look soooooooooo hot tonight though!!!!! yeah!

    lata and lots of love xoxoxox mia

  1262. #1262 by Lioness on February 28, 2010 - 7:11 am

    Mia,
    you make that man want you more than ever!!! I would suggest flirting with a few men where he can listen it may do him some good. I wouldnt be so readily available for him either. My taurus guy is such a sweet talker I just sit here and laugh about it he can be soo sweet he stayed up with me all night. Just talking about anything, he even told me the next time I got my nails done to send the bill to him I was like oh wow in my head I told him I couldnt do that to him and he is asking me if I have always been that dependant and I said yes. I also asked him if he thought I should let the man take the lead and he said well that is something to think about I said I could do that. He then tells me well what if I told you I wasnt going to let you go that easily I was like wow…….He then asks me later what size of a bed I wanted if queen was good or larger. I couldnt believe what I was hearing I dont understand what is going on at all he is moving in with some girl unless she is just a friends with benefits person and they are just fronting a relationship while he saves money. I just dont see him giving up his apt and then moving in with someone already established with a house and etc. I would think it would make his ego drop some because it is not his and she could kick him out at anytime……. So I am not sure what is going on here I dont think it is a game he is playing to mess with my head I talked to the man for 4 hours online and he didnt want to go………am just not sure what to make of all of this at all……. or what to do anymore…. have a good nite girls will chat later

  1263. #1263 by Mia on February 28, 2010 - 9:07 am

    Lioness,
    I just wrote a long note to you and it is gone! ah!

    let me try to paraphrase here;) I said what you already said above. yes i do think he loves you. and i was thinking all along, this girl has no beauty, probably no brains, doesn’t touch you and has no class… so it doesn’t add up. no i do not think FWB, nope, i think it may be financial and he is too embarrassed to tell you. that is okay if you feel it. only you can. my guy and i have a mutual deep respect and i can feel it from him because i have never questioned him as he lives with his parents. I trust him and it does not matter to me… so only you can let your heart guide you and know it may not be what you think it is, especially with taurus, it may be something else too. remember they love helping others, maybe somehow this will benefit her? but it does not look like he wants her intimately…. she isn’t a relative of his is she? do you know her?

    the reason is, my guy wasn’t trying to break my date with him! you see??? I figured it out! I had had a sneaky suspension that my stubborn taurus told his friend (the one that wanted to ask me out…) that it would be a cool idea to set him up with “s” … the one gal that my guy is around… remember he took her home and “m” friend paid for her tow.. i can see right smack dab through my guy!

    I was like… hm…. where are you? last night when he called me back. he had been playing pool with “o” his friend… he normally will play pool with him on Friday nites. and i know my guy was thinking, hey set him up with that gal, because even his friend was joking around with me once to see if i could set him up with one of my friends… and he also asked me out over the holidays when “m” and i were on the offs (lasted a week) anyways, “m” must have been talking with this lady friend at church (no Lioness, she is harmless! she is precious and well, let’s just say once when my guy described her since i could not remember her at the time, he called her an old lady… lollllllllll… she is very nice but a little frumpy, and i think she is my age… lol, i look pretty young for my age, thankfully and I KNOW I ACT young for my age!! proud of it ๐Ÿ™‚

    the pieces of my puzzle gelled when i received an email today from the guy in the 70s group FWD a note to us that he had sent word out that some folks were going bowling tonight and said to look for “m” and the gal pal, and the sweet “old lady” one. that is when i got mad and sad, even called my guy up asking if he reeeeally has feeelings for her? he again said no. sooooo I got to thinking… hmmmm.. then i thought hmmmm… if “o” is there tonight i will know my guy arranged all this spur of the moment to set his friend up with the gal pal i keep talking about and again she is not pretty and is a bit frumpy too, she is totally not my guys type, so that again makes me feel good, i don’t think my guy has cheated like that at all… i don’t see those behaviors anymore… we have great s** intimacy, that isn’t our problem…

    so guess what??? the time came and i was so made up and very cute looking so hot:) that when i got there and was paying and getting water, guys were turning there heads, but i was smiled and looked straight ahead… it felt sooooooooo good ๐Ÿ˜‰ anyways i saw “o”! i was like, yup, my suspitions were right all along… and my guy was adamant that i come too. that was a sure sign that he so wanted me there… very sweet. right at 8 pm he was like texting me, “u coming” i was feeling hot, frisky, sexy, and very sure of myself, and texted, “hey u. i’m coming now” then he called me! and asked if i was coming telling me that they had an hour wait… i said call another place and he said can’t told everyone to meet here.. i said, okay, i’m on my way, we’ll figure it out… (see? when we talk i am confident assured, it’s great)

    but the gal pal never showed up. and only two others showed up, they left and “m”s friend left too! his plan backfired … but “m” was nice and we all enjoyed bowling. “L” was there (the “older lady”) and my friend, we got a lane and it was great. i was cheering the friend on and my friend and acting nice and sitting in the farther chair, very subtle hints and he then started to sit closer to me… you see? it was working…. when i didn’t cling, which i dont’ anyway…. also, he was talking to me! yup he paid for my friend! that was sweet cuz she is living with me, she is really a blessing, and he said he didn’t get a chance to go to his class, he was busy, he felt bad about it, I was encouraging him saying ah, it’s okay, he said he would make the next class… i said, sure! and I told him I loved his brown shirt (it was beautiful and he looks soooooooo handsome he has the BEST taste, he is the VERY FIRST guy i have EVER dated that dresses the way I want my guy to dress, it is a miracle… i am in heaven… ) I put my arm on upper back and gave him a nice firm pat while complimenting him, but really my heart poured out for him cuz he felt guilty i could tell for missing the class… and he did great in bowling making strike after strike and intermittently sitting next to me talking to me some… and even pinched my butt when we left and grinned! i also felt him stare at me! i was smiling and so happy all the time, it was fun! i think he thinks i am such a trouper for coming despite the circumstances, i told my friend a normal girl would not have some to bowling. but i told him i would go, and i keep my word. you see, i think it is important to keep your word, being consistent.

    that is where my guy has problems. i just want to hold him so, he could not keep his word with our date. when he gets a plan he runs with it without thinking, right then and there. i know he was playing pool and he thought, hey let’s go bowling and he was oblivious to our date, he was not thinking and maybe was thinking i could go with the flow.

    (remember his intentions were not to break our date, it was to set his friend up with the gal pal and to go bowling as the plan this was “L” idea he said…. and again he was helping someone, and told me on the phone it may help with my friend too. and it did, she loved it. it worked out for the best and he paid for her… )

    he could not keep his work with the class today at church. he so doesn’t realize he has adhd, if he could ever see about it, he would have way more self esteem cuz he would finally know it isn’t his fault. he can’t help it i do not think.

    he asked what i was doing after bowling while there i said go home. then i said maybe we could all go to my house and play wii… then after bowling we walked out my truck was two parking spaces from him… we were talking and he was asking me questions as we walked to the trucks, and i answered and was being nice and was kind of waiting but he didn’t say anything so I got in the truck and said, it was fun, and then about about 3 seconds shut my door, like oh welll… he is not going to say anything more. so i pulled out slowly and started home. he texted me, “why you rush off?” i texted, “i did not rush off, i was waiting and you did not say anything?” he said “yes you did” i texted ” i would have loved to talk with you but you didn’t say anything more? where are you?” he said on highway… then said, “it’s okay” i texted “i was looking forward to our date tonight, but it was your choice, not mine to cancel to go bowling instead without telling me. of course, i am going to think you do not want to go out with me, i can take a hint. i did have a fun time.”

    then he texted, “why do you have to keep bringing that up?”

    that was endearing to me, don’t ask why… so as my heart melted for him i texted, “it’s okay, i’m done. why are there so many cops out here i have passed 3 on way home. you will have to teach me how you make the strikes. that was excellent. truly “my friend’s name” had a great time. that was very kind of you to pay for her. get some good sleep. me too. nite, mia”

    that quieted him, and it was a beautiful karma I felt between us … i felt relief a strong sense of love, my worry, guilt about us lifted. it was beautiful.

    then after i got home, i had another text for him… it said, “you online, i am sorry.”

    you see? he does things that have nothing to do with me, and spur of the moment, because taurus will act bfore thinking, this was for his friend, his intentions are so good, but because he can’t tell me why he really did it… i take it personality, when it had nothing to do with me, but i read him out… now i don’t feel so bad cuz i know the real reason.

    he is coming around gals, slowly but surely. he sees my genuiness and knows i am a good person… and i didn’t act too smitten with him tonight, i was smiling and a bit suave to him… and it was attracting to him…

    falling asleep here… love and kisses and much calmer now… thankyou
    love to all xoxoxox mia ~

  1264. #1264 by Jane on February 28, 2010 - 9:29 am

    Mia

    Hi, well I do hope your night went as planned!!
    I bet you where knock out and you had him drooling over you!! Lol

    I do think you did the right think checking out โ€˜dating youโ€™ coz you really cant continue this friends with benefits thing, you worth so much more AND he knows it!
    I laughed Mia when you said โ€˜I need to learn to act like a ladyโ€™, you are a lady remember that when you all dressed up and flirting with him, he wont be able to resist you!!
    I realise by the time you read this, you will have had your evening, so I do hope it is good news and your have something real positive to tell us!!

    Loiness

    You must protect your heart, I know you really like this guy, but whether he is moving in with this girl as โ€˜friendsโ€™ for financial reasons or not, you donโ€™t know that, maybe you could push, rather โ€˜nudgeโ€™ (we know you cant push a Taurus)!! Him to ask what exactly he means by saying all these things to you!? I would be asking him โ€˜you have just moved in with this girl, do you have no respect for her talking to me the way you doโ€™!? That way, you let him know if other way around you would not pyt up with it and you also say you have too much respect for yourself to allow him to continue this way> Sorry but I really could not have this with a guy already with someone. He may then give you the answer you looking for that this is a โ€˜financial arrangementโ€™ may even be a relative!!! How good would that be!!
    You lioness just like Mia, deserve so much more.

    My update:

    Canโ€™t really call it an update!!
    I am so upset, my guy goes away tomorrow and he has made no attempt to see me before he goes. I really cant believe it. He text me yesterday morning, just small talk oh and telling me how veryโ€™ busyโ€™ his day is going to be with all he needs to do before his holiday!!! So that was me well and truly told that he has no plan to see me!!
    I didnโ€™t mention us meeting then as I didnโ€™t see the point, I felt his โ€˜hintโ€™ was enough!
    He knew it was unreasonable by his texts to me, he was all sweet asking if we had picked my sisters wedding dress ect, he new I was out with her making arrangements for her wedding, oh and he said few weeks ago that he would like to come with my as my partner!!
    He put lots of โ€˜xโ€™ on his texts, no big thing I just noticed it. I was out last night with family and my plan was to ask him if he would like to come with me, I didnโ€™t get that chance to even ask. The point is I know he would have come if I asked, but he is going away for 2weeks, he has already said we will spend time together this week end!! I thought he would ask me and anyway he made it clear he busy!!! Does he not know how long a week end is!!!!!!!

    So ladies it is now Sunday, no word from him since yesterday afternoon, I cant believe it! Do I mean so little to him!!??

    If I asked him to meet I know he would say โ€˜yesโ€™ but ladies, it is always me who arranges with him, initiates, I wanted to see how important seeing me meant to him!!!
    Obviously not important enough.

    I am now thinking I need your help, I donโ€™t really know best way to deal with this!!??
    At the moment all the thought of โ€˜NO DRAMAโ€™ goes out the window!!
    I want him to know how hurt and crushed I am feeling, remembering though that he going on holiday, I donโ€™t want to hurt him by making upset but WHAT ABOUT ME!!!!??? It seems he does not care about me. I am so gutted, how can I stay knowing this guy didnโ€™t even want to spend any time with me before he went away!!

    I do think he is waiting for me to ask him!!! I want him to be the man and ask me, goodness he takes control any other time, what the difference!!!!?????

    HELP!!!!!! xx

  1265. #1265 by Lionsroar on February 28, 2010 - 1:56 pm

    Well HELLO you wonderfully, sweet ladies. I’ve been reading over some of what I missed the last week. Godess I’m so sorry. I must say you are stronger women than I. No way in hell I could deal with some of you women are. You are tough, tough gals!

    For what it is worth.. here is my update.. remember a week ago he made plans without me, so I made plans without him.. It was my what I like to call the “dance”. haha.. As promised I was no where to be found past Friday night. Yep he didnt like it one bit.. he actually called me first thing in the morning. One thing led to another and we had what I will officially call our first ‘real relationship fight’. He said. ‘blah, blah, blah…’ I didnt invite you because I thought you wouldnt want to come.’ He said ‘you went out after I ran into you and didnt invite me’ ‘were you trying to make me jealous’ ‘did you have a date’ and you act this way and that way around everyone else.. more blah blah… Yah it was TRUTH time.. he was giving me a pretty decent lashing. The I got PISSED and said “Enough… you do not and will never decide if I want to do something or not, I am 40 plus years old I am capable of accepting or declining an invite.. ask me dont assume’.. I then said here’s the deal.. Your JEALOUS and very insecure… I am not your EX.. Stop it! Then I laid it out.. I told him.. You say you want this or that, then you act a different way and you do TOTALLY the Opposite! I told him I treat you exactly how you treat me. Obviously if you feel not calling, inviting, etc.. is okay to do to me, that is how you must want me to treat you and it must be fine or else you wouldnt do it. He then asked if we were going out that night and I said ‘hell no, I dont know if I want to scream or throw this phone’ I told him I’ll talk to him later.. He said he is sorry the call didnt turn out as he planned. I told him its probably best it did. He sent me a Text Sunday and Monday.. I replied with small answers.. ‘ok thanks, in the middle of something talk to you later’.. Finally on Thursday I cooled off enough to meet. We talked and talked, he acknowledged his actions and that 95% of it is his fault. We set up some ground rules… lets see if he can do it. haha.. He did not like me not returning calls and turning down his offer for an evening. He said he kept imaging me out with someone else… hahaha…. Long story short he is taking me on Vacation next month. SWEET! He is a sweet heart but I’m telling you HE’S NUTS! I swear they are all Bi-Polar…. lovable but goofy. And yah he just learned the hard way.. dont poke sticks at a LION… WE BITE!

  1266. #1266 by Jess on February 28, 2010 - 3:21 pm

    Ladies,

    I have not made any significant update for quite a while now, so please excuse me today for having to release it before reading and replying to you older posts…

    I actually just came back for an impulsive 2 days trip at the beach with my Taurus man. For the record it was him who did initiate it (yeah who knows Taurus can be impulsive too! LOL.) It was such an unbelievable night because after dinner and some wine, it was not much to be drunk but enough for us to feel fun… We were sitting and talking about almost every sexy girls who walked by…LOL! then we moved to this disco where its famous among teenagers LOL! We both are in our 30s and I swear we are perhaps a very few of the oldest people there… it was the techno music and we were dancing like pro hahahaha! what is crazy is that we were dancing until 5 in the morning!!! So we moved back to our hotel starting to make out… he suddenly start telling me how sexy and how much he always wanted to show off me to everyone. I was on top of him listening to his compliment and that was when he told me to the face that he loves me!!! he didn’t say it once but keep saying it 3 times in a roll then saying he couldn’t keep it anymore and doesn’t care what going to happen he had to tell me. Then asked me what I think??!!! I was so overwhelmed but i couldn’t say any word so he had to say again ‘ok you don’t have to love me but you have to know that I love you!’ and repeat asking me again what I feel about him telling this. Finally I burst out into tears (Yes i was still on top of him LOLLL!!!) I was crying and holding him saying I feel scared, he comfort me and said ‘it’s ok I’m scared too but I knew this long time ago that I love you’ Then I told him I don’t believe he really love me it was because I’m different that others he used to date so he took me as a challenge that he has to win. So we went on discussing about my wonder and how i feel. I told him I don’t know if that was love because it was like i had enough from men in the past that I don’t know anymore what love got to feel like and I was too cautious not allow myself to fall for anyone… He continued to analyze me and said ‘Sweety I’m sorry but even you don’t want it but you just don’t know yourself that you are falling in love with me, but you don’t need to know it know because you will know it soon”

    Then we carried on our love scence…LOL! After finish, we asked me to be his girlfriend!!!! So ladies, finally I have a boyfriend of my own! ๐Ÿ™‚ LOOLL!!! Then he start talking again about how he wants a daughter with me and his plan to inject me his sperm any day.. I had to be serious tellin him thatI don’t want to get pregnant by accident or without my knowledge!

    Gosh I’m still soooo thrilled and so intense but super tired like dead! He is leaving to Europe in 3 weeks, he asked me to join him which I very much wanted to but doubted if I could.

    Oh I wish I really really wish I can finally and spontaneously say it back to him that ‘I love you’ someday very soon. Because I’m not going to push myself anything to return the love word just because he said it first.

    Ladies, let me take some rest and breath a bit then I will catch up with you soon.

    Happy Sunday!

  1267. #1267 by Jane on February 28, 2010 - 4:16 pm

    Jess

    Ohh jess, so very happy for you and I speak from the heart when I say, you so deserve your Taurus mans love, you have took all this time to understand him and his crazy ways and he knows that. He has a woman who โ€˜gets himโ€™ and by all accounts it is very rare for a Taurus to have that!!
    I have learnt so much from your way of understanding, it has helped and worked too so very well, I do not understand what is happening to me now!!
    I think for some unknown reason he has gone off me or just pushed me aside because he is going away, how very selfish of him.
    Oh he said he busy yesterday with stuff to sort out for trip and now today when it pretty much too late to do anything, I text him, said how I thought we would be spending some time together and that I feel disregarded by him and that he should be honest. He text back saying โ€˜I have been busy sorting my stuff for trip, (he said we would see eachother) I thought you where busy anyway(he had no reason to think that!) I am not ignoring you far from it, why do you have to make a mountain out of a mole hill, OH MY GOD!!! I can not believe he serious!! He doesnโ€™t want to see me and just hasnโ€™t got the guts to say it. I feel so hurt.

    Jess I am sorry to be a โ€˜downerโ€™ with you having such wonderful news, I wish I could give you a great big hug, I would love for my efforts with Taurus to pay off in the end, somehow I donโ€™t see it.
    Jess I know you have concern with regard to your family and your Taurus, but sweet Jess, you can love him still, that will perhaps further down the line give you strength to face any dilemma. Hey for now, ENJOY!!! So happy for you xx

  1268. #1268 by Jess on February 28, 2010 - 5:46 pm

    Jane,

    I was thinking of way to show you so you can reap my story and experience with yours but I guess i should just tell you my story and let you do the relating part.

    Would you be surprised if I told you I didn’t get to spend time with my guy not on his Birthday, not even on New Year Eve this year and also last year?! Last year is understandable because it was only 1 month. But this year even he told me before that his best friend’s parents are coming from abroad to celebrate and he is invited and he couldn’t say no because he already avoided them couple times so this time it will be rude and there was no excuse. I’m fine with that and totally understand but Even so, he should have just told right out that he can’t spend NYE with me so I can have other plan with my family and friends, he didn’t say anything until I had to asked him on that NYE day and he told me actually a few hours before New Year!!! Jane, how do you think I would feel? I have so many ways to feel bad with him e.g. he should be concerned of how difficult for me to escape from family to see him, but if I keep thinking bad of him and sorry for myself we are not going to work out.

    Jane, of course I got very sensitive and felt sad but I didn’t complain it to him. I replied in a short message (short but a bit sarcastic…) that: Oh Ok, and thank you that at least you let me know few hours before New Year ๐Ÿ˜‰ (I always try to put the winking face or some smiley face to ease the heat of my message but I’m sure he can pick up my emotion)

    he text me 2 hours after New Year asking to meet me fast the next day, how can I just do that? didn’t he think it’s NYE and I should have plan with either family or best friends????!!! So I didn’t reply then he text again that he wised to be with me now…! I didn’t reply because I still felt hurt then he followed by another text that he really loves me! Now that ticked me so I replied in short that how I was so looking forward to spend NYE with him but being let down and how I’m so giving up on him. He didn’t reply this text but the next day he sent another text saying how happy he is that I still wanted to see him the next day (yes it’s his style to just make up and assume my decision for me…) So I simply replied that I’m sorry I can’t meet. Now he got the idea that I got hurt BUT he didn’t text more to make peace but leave me alone for 2 days then text again telling me another make up bullshit style that somebody told him I’m going to visit the beach (he was there during that time) and so he hoped we can meet because he miss me. Now I gave in and replied back to confirm the plan.

    My point is, you tell him how you feel in a short and feminine way and followed by a confirmed action such as withdraw your contact with him for couple days. You don’t tell him how you assumed he would do if he cares for you like he said because to him he take your message in a negative tone like you are telling him what to do. He will give you time to feel bad and bounce back then he will approach again, now you put thing behind and carry on with him like nothing happened, don’t worry that he didn’t get it that he hurts your feeling. He sure did but his way to cope the issue is to distant and pretend nothing happened.

    At the end of the day, to spend time together on special holiday season though nice and sweet but is not important at all (especially to Taurus men) compare to the big picture of us having each other. I know very well how much you want to be important for him and how much you want to spend time with him when possible but for them, as long as you are ‘together’ you are not going to worry just about not able to meet next weekend or next 2 weeks because you know you will meet anyway and you won’t miss a chance to meet more in the future for sure! But believe me, wait until you got their heart completely they might suffocate you…

    Jane I agree it’s you who know your guy best and even we are all dealing with Taurus but they are actually different individual and my approach might not work with yours but Jane, although it’s very nice to assure a guy for your love and loyal to him and that you are and will always there for him, but Jane, do you really think by doing that would give you the advantage? Yes he will feel good that you are into him but do you think it would put you in a more ‘secure’ position? Be a thrill, be a challenge, make him feel you are the best prize he ever have.

    Jane, do not worry. When Taurus went off on you, try not to take it personal. I agree his text sounds a bit harsh but I had worse… (many times LOL, ask saggi she had worse also LOL!) Let him have his 2 or 3 weeks break, he will get back to you for sure! When Taurus set his interest/aim on something or someone, he won’t change! I observe and found it true in almost everything he does!

    Today before I and my guy parted, we had a mission almost impossible because of his stubbornness he had to get some work done with my help and because he was very tired (from not enough sleep and too much dancing/drinking/sexing/etc.) he obviously get too easily irritated and upset by hotel staffs then waitress. I was all days listening to his strong and aggressive complaint/opinion how stupid and lame people can be… He also made a very strong comment about my family how stupid and conservative they are… (which I agree with him but can you imagine how much patient I had to have on this one) I was there all day listening with smile and helping him till the end. Before we parted, he said ‘sweety thank you very much for having patient with me’

    Don’t feel bad Jane, it’ll be ok! Cheer up!

    PS> Yes I should start reading up posts before mine to catch up with everyone but I obviously read the post after mine LOL!

  1269. #1269 by Jess on February 28, 2010 - 5:50 pm

    Again, Jane sorry I tried to be organized with my thought but my post sounds soo messy!!! I guess I was too tired and got hypnotized by Mia with her super longest ever posts! ๐Ÿ˜‰ hahaha! Joking a bit but true! LOL!

  1270. #1270 by Jess on February 28, 2010 - 5:59 pm

    Jane,

    I mean work more on yourself about the attitude and expectation you have with this guy. I know you state many times that it’s now friend status but you know it’s more to come so its’s not just about assessing Taurus but about assessing yourself how you want to and will deal with him and how you handle yourself if a) A CHALLENGED RELATIONSHIP if it works b) DISAPPOINTMENT AND BROKEN HEART if it’s not.

    I check myself from time to time, either A or B I’m ok.

    sorry for being all over the board. I should stop and get some rest, I feel my thought getting scattered around…

  1271. #1271 by Capricorn lady on February 28, 2010 - 6:06 pm

    First of all sweet ladies thanks for the support from you ..

    Right now i realy don,t have much to say eccept that i just came home from my taurus i know he realy feels bad for me cause he said a few times that he can,t get me and my mom out of his mind (he never met my mother, so he does not know her )

    And he texting me a bit more like; sweet dreams darling; at bed time ..

    And i do feel his kisses are more intens ..
    Last night when he came during sex he could not stop kissing me very sweet and long while he was still on top of me
    ..Usuly men stop kissing afther they come ..

    He was in very bad pain also his back is hurting very much and when we said goodbye he said sorry that i,m not as much fun as normaly and we kissed 3 times before leaving and very long to …

    I so hope he whants me forever ..
    I realy need him in my life i love him dearly and with my mom dying i realy need his love ..

    He does think i,m very strong about this all ,i just hope that his kisses are not just to help me get trought this but that it is real love ..

    Sorry you all my life right now is a bit of a blur ..

    And it,s sometimes very hard to stay grounded when i usualy always am …

    peace and love

    capi

  1272. #1272 by Lioness on February 28, 2010 - 6:13 pm

    Thanks Mia and Jane for the advice,
    Jane I have asked him about him moving in w someone on his aliases he pretends on one that he is not with anyone and the other one he says he is married but has a girlfriend and says I am first in his heart. He even gets mad at me when I tell him to work things out w these people or do something about it I told him on his one name he wanted his cake and eat it too. He replies back saying you know everything I have been honest with you if I wanted my cake and eat it too I wouldnt have told you any of it……….. He has put a picture of him and her on facebook did that in january and then has been in a relationship w her since december. She is not very good looking at all even friends he knows said that they didnt see him with her and wasnt his type. So who knows. I dont think this girl is a relative either girls he wouldnt put he was in a relationship with a someone if she was a relative. I dont know what I am being used for an ego boost or what anymore or if he really does love me he is just pretending to be another person in saying so. I told you that I couldnt even look at him when I saw him and then later on when I get on he asks me what I have been doing well I figured if he wants to play the game so will I…. I told him I hadnt left the place all day had sat at home and made a potroast and baked cookies all day. He knew I was lying but then it would catch him up as well to who I was really talking to and then he could hide out. He said he was working all day long yeah working on moving your apt. But things began to come clear for me when he said something along the lines of when I talked to you last week you said this was chat and it goes no further…… I think I really messed up with him because when I said that to him later on that night he calls up my friend and tells her he was going to move. I dont know what to do anymore for sure. Dont understand how he can talk to me for 4 hours without her knowing it if they are living together you know sometimes I think that she is in on it too and they are just messing w me but not sure……. I do know for one thing they are crazy and bi-polar for sure. xoxo Lioness

  1273. #1273 by Jane on February 28, 2010 - 7:07 pm

    Jess

    Ohh Jess, how so wonderful you are and I thank you so very much for taking the time to write your post to me, I really mean that. Saggi girl is so right, you have this โ€˜knackโ€™ โ€˜abilityโ€™ to just say the right and calming thing.
    You see Jess it is you who I have learnt all my โ€˜observingโ€™ โ€˜learningโ€™ Taurus from coz I swear to god we would not have made it this far, I am truly learning him, I really am and I know it is vital if I want a future with him! I do tho as you well know (like now) have wobbly moments with him.

    I am very sensitive and take everything to heart but my biggest fault, which actually works well occasionally, is I โ€˜overanalyze everythingโ€™!!!!!
    Hearing all you said really puts a better picture on things, as it helps to hear your experiences and Taurus for sure have so many ways/things/traits the same!!

    I will just update youโ€ฆ. After the โ€˜mountain out of mole hill textโ€™ he sent me, well I text back saying โ€˜ it is not my style to make a mountain out of a mole hill, (lol well sometimes!!) and you had no reason to think me busy as our past week texts to each other will confirm that, my priority was to see you, you just didnโ€™t do the sameโ€™ I then wished him a safe and happy holiday, see very lady like but wanted him to know I was upset.
    He took a while then text me back saying that he thinks there has been a misunderstanding and that he was not expecting to hear from me (that part is such bull shit!!) as he thought I busy and said he was going to text me โ€˜goodnightโ€™ later!!! OMG!!! He then said how he did not want to go away with us falling out and that he truly sorry if he upset me. Jess, that meant a lot to me that he said that, a few months ago he wouldnโ€™t have said anything at all and just ignored my text!!

    So with my heart now melting for him again!! Lol I text him saying something like โ€˜I know you wouldnโ€™t upset me on purpose, you get so wrapped up in things that you forget me and thatโ€™s what hurts me, I agreed to him, well ok maybe misunderstanding today (although donโ€™t really think that!) I said I know you have been busy and are excited for your trip, you know I understand that and that I just wanted to hug and kiss him before he went. I thanked him for his text (apologising to me) and wished him all the best for his trip, to have a safe journey and not to forget me too much!!
    He repliedโ€ฆ โ€˜I could never forget you my princess and thank you for understandingโ€™

    So jess, are you proud of me!!?? I think I eventually handled that well! I feel more positive, yes I am disappointed that he didnโ€™t make time for me, I am learning how to handle him as you say I have to learn how to handle โ€˜meโ€™ too!!
    I love him and you are right, I must make him work for me, want me I just struggle with how to do that!! I am going to miss him so bad while he away and be so tempted to want to text him to say โ€˜hiโ€™, that will be hard.
    I really do thank you for your input to me, it is working as I do take on board all you say. Once again Jess, so happy โ€˜boyfriend and girlfriendโ€™ status at last for you!! YIPPEE!! Another wedding on the horizon!!
    A few family hurdles and you will be just fine I am sure, your love for each other will see you through.
    Oh Jess by the way, I really think your bull and mine are related!!! LOL So the same in his ways and reactions to things!! Thank you once again Jess.

  1274. #1274 by ms pisces on February 28, 2010 - 10:05 pm

    Saggi girl, Jane , all other ladies

    Thanks for the congrats! almost there lol. Once they’re married divorce is out of the question. At that point they take the time to figure it out. I know it sounds weird but my taurus told me one time that he wasn’t really going to care about my feelings until I became his wife, until we were 1. They feel like now you are in control of your feelings and if u feel bad u have the power to change it. It shouldn’t matter what he does. My best piece of advise for dealing with a taurus is to be patient and to not take anything personal. We don’t always put them in their fucked up attitudes but if we are around or trying to communicate with them at the time we take the hit. When you see signs that they are in a cave, RUN! If they really care about you then when they come out of that cave you are the first person they contact which is a really good things. Sometimes they just go in a cave when they just need to figure something out in their life and they want to be figure it out completely before they head to you so they can focus all of their energy and thoughts on you. It sucks to have to wait but its worth it. Right now my mans a little irritable but at the end of the day he tells me he loves me. I know to back up right now and put his needs first and he needs for me to not get an attitude just because he has one. But continue to be happy. His daughters mother just found out he has moved on and is getting married and now she says he can never see his child again because of that. And he’s not trying to go to court now so for the moment he’s acting like he’s ok but he’s not. Point is, you never know what they’re going through because they don’t express their feeling like us so if you make up in your mind you want him, take the good with the bad and know that if you get the ring, you will be his queen forever.

  1275. #1275 by Mia on February 28, 2010 - 10:10 pm

    All,

    I am done.

    Today was my last straw.

    I cannot continue to be with a guy that does not acknowledge my presence in public, it is nauseating, beyond that crying so hard.

    I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE been ASSOCIATED WITH ANY MAN that said he wanted to date me, and is seeing me for almost a year now that still totally ignores me in public.

    Today a few of us went to eat just now after church. he was there. he barely looked at me, he stayred up at the front of group with everyone else AFTER HE LOOKED BACK AND SAW ME. He flirted heavily with a new gal at church. no she isn’t pretty, but she is cute, she is overweight, very nice, but he was comsumed in conversation with her the entire time.

    I could even handle that BUT I CANNOT HANDLE THIS.

    HE TOLD HER OH HE GOES CAMPING ALL THE TIME. HE SAID, “I AM GOING CAMPING IN APRIL IF YOU WANNA COME.” YES I HAVE A TENT, BLAH BLAH…. HE WAS LOUD AND I HEARD EVERY WORD.

    I wanted to scream YOU F##### IDIOT, YOU HAVE BEEN WITH ME THE ENTIRE TIME YOU HAVE CAMPED. i was in shock FOR THE LAST TIME GIRLS.

    he could have said, yeah we all go camping…. that would have been fine but ” I ”

    He WILL NEVER HAVE THE PLEASURE OF BEING IN MY COMPANY AGAIN.

    i FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT. I FEEL SO CHEAP AS TO LET HIM TOUCH ME. HE SICKENS ME.

    I have never seen someone so deceitful in my life.

    I had to leave before everyone else.

    Girls I’m done here.

    I am trying so hard not to come to irrational decisions.

    Taurus or no taurus, I have never IN MY LIFE HAD A GUY want to date me, but not acknowledge me as his date in public, church or no church.

    I will NEVER ALLOW MYSELF TO STOOP TO THIS LEVEL OF SOMEONE DISRESPECTING ME.

    I will read your posts to catch up.

    And all I can say is this…

    Jess, Lionsroar,
    You seem to be our tough love advisors here…

    Please give it to me straight…

    This man is emotionally immature, he is the worst commitmentphobic, ambilvilent man i have ever met in my life.

    Here is what I plan to do and I NEED YOU TO TELL ME IF YOU AGREE… CUZ if he truly misses me and finds he loves me he will be back, otherwise I will know it was only for s##!!!

    I plan to disconnect from this man ENTIRELY. I plan to cut my messenger from him.

    I so want to tell him that I have never been with any man that said he wanted to date me but refuse to acknowledge that fact in public. And I want to say, “I can ASSURE YOU I agree with your behavior because I would NEVER want a guy that is ashamed of me, and I would never want to be with a guy that is deceitful, and lacks genuiness as you do, I would only date someone that thought the world of me, so the feeling is more than mutual here.”

    it’s wierd cuz he was PUBLIC in his dating with the last girl and i know he slept with her! and did when they went camping with us the first time! I am not trying to be cocky, but I am prettier but more importantly I care more for people than she did, she made fun of his friends, my heart is bigger and true and yet he was openly dating her!!! that makes me feel worse, it is tragic, crying here…

    I told HIM AT THE BEGINNING, I CAN’T DO THIS AGAIN I CAN’T GET HURT AGAIN, and he was the one that told me, well, guess you will have to be a nun, cuz you have to risk hurt by loving someone. HE SAID THIS. and yet i am hurt and he is all hunky dorey.

    He normally texts me to eat with them, he did not. It is weird, he broke our date last night to do the bowling thing. Maybe because I went anyway he has “0” respect for me. I have totally “0” respect for him now after today.

    We were going to play softball together, camp together, and he still may think we are but I am bowing out.

    Do I change churches? Somebody please help.

    I DO NOT WANT TO JOIN A DATING SITE, but something tells me that is the best thing to do… especially if i want him to love me on an emotional level… but I see that will be impossible after I have given him all this time, and see the way he was gushing over this girl, and at the same time his gal pal was next to her, I was on the far end far away from their conversation… he was laughing and throwing things at them, he did tease me once, but that was it.

    He probably is mad cuz again i left early and he thinks I rushed off last night too… (that was i think cuz he wanted s## from me) he has NOT contacted me today.

    i treated him just like a friend today.

    I want to rid this man from my soul now. My esteem is screaming out for love and I am ignoring my own self, I am soooooo above this.

    I thought I could read your posts, I can’t.

    I am so sorry, but i just can’t read your good fortunes now as My Heart has Shattered into a MILLION pieces, and I’m crying soooooooooo… how could a human being do this to another…

    here is my info: celestialblue@hotmail.com

    I will have to move away from here and I wish you all the best.

    Mia ~ xoxoxoxo

    Please forgive me, I love you all so very much, but my emotions are raw and it hurts so very badly…

    Jess, Lionsroar, what do I tell him???? please help me… he is so obvlious i will bet he doesn’t think anything is wrong… i think he thinks, oh i can ignore you, flirt, treat you with disrespect and know you will come back to me if i want you, if not i will toss you aside and move to another girl, my “i am sorry” only meant i want s@@ and want to keep you where i want you??? i do not understand, he is a joke, and i have been an idiot here i feel like a tramp, i do not want a guy to EVER TOUCH me again. i feel like trash. i am so sorry… this hurts so deeeeeeeply… so sad ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    Lionsroar, please tell me to pull myself up. i did handle myself very well despite, i was talking to her too! it was and i was talking with the gal pal too and really i was fine as long as i didn’t have to think of “m” in any other way… but because she likes camping he ran with it… because she has a snake and he hates snakes, he was intriqued by her… gal pal was next to “m” friend and they are almost like a couple now, very sweet… and “M” PRESENTS HIMSELF AS A FUN SINGLE GUY totally separate from me.

    I want to start dating sooooooooo badly to let him see he can’t have me that easy….

    My friend is telling me DON’T TELL HIM ANYTHING…. just say no thanks i have plans each time he wants to do something??? maybe another time?

    is this nothing more than him taking me for granted? or am I seeing that this guy just isn’t ready for a relationship, has no desire to be in one, wants to just flirt and be free???

    My friend also says I need to move on as this man is NOT EMOTIONALLY ready for a relationship and I’m only setting myself up for hurt…

    I will read your posts, I must… please help!!!!!

    Mia ~ xoxoxo

    Jess, Jane, Lionsroar, Saggi, Lioness, Capi and all… “i CAN DO ANYTHING I PUT MY MIND TO AND I CAN BE STRONG HERE. I KNOW I CAN SURVIVE WITHOUT THIS MAN, I HAVE TO TELL MYSELF THIS. I love him soooooooooo much, I am crazy in love with him and it is killing me…

    but if a man wants what he can’t have….

    I shall NO LONGER BE AVAILABLE to this man…

    ever…

    ( i need to make a pact with myself, that this man would have to be on bended knee to want me back..)

    ( his behavior is worse now that I put down boundaries in our dating… i should have predicted… )

    he probably asked the new gal to do stuff this afternoon and is moving onto her just as fast as he moved to me and now it appears from me…

    he would have contacted me by now… since i left the restaurant, i’m sure he and his friend “o” and gal pal and this new gal are all doing something right now!!! I KNOW HIM and I KNOW they are.. He even told gal pal all about what he did yesterday, and he never tells me anything what he did, he has NEVER asked about me, my life, nothing… what a fool am i??? the only thing he asks is what am i wearing… what will i wear and what kind of hose??

    i’m done. so sorry.

  1276. #1276 by Mia on February 28, 2010 - 11:00 pm

    Hey all,
    I am calming down as my adrenaline is getting to a better level… breathe mia…. sigh…

    i have to go to a bible study in a bit, and suppose i should not let my “death” get in my way. I can hear Lionsroar and Jess saying, “Get yourself together, and you go proudly to everything, do not let this man get to you. Do not give him the power.”

    Jane, read your earlier post, so sweet thank you.

    Oh yes, I held my composure last night and today as well. I was very happy and talking about lots of things and asking “m” to repeat things as I could not hear him and he only did maybe once on my end, argh! he infuriates me. i mean i am done here. but yes, you would have never thought anything was wrong.

    I realize I CANNOT talk with him at all.

    Remember, we truly had no “relationship” so I can’t say anything about it… i can’t begin to define what he never once acknowledged. Unless it comes from him, I can’t do a thing. The relationship is defined by the man.

    The ONLY thing i can do is to remain true to myself and no contact with this man. The last text he sent was last night, “u online i am sorry” that was at midnite. (each time we go online it is more of a booty call, so no more, i must refuse to go there with him ever again.)

    i just realized something else, i do believe at one time, he was as chummy to me as he was to the gal pal… now i am trying to figure out when it shifted… from me to her… we used to go everywhere together, every weekend, all weekend, now he never tells me anything… he is totally gone emotionally now…

    it is as if our relationship has become only about s## now, what a fool i have been i did not realize this….

    need to pour myself into more self help books, nicole gayle is a good one.. looks like i’m starting over again here…

    one thing is for sure, i WILL THRIVE from this. oh yes. i will BE BETTER for it, i refuse otherwise!!!!! I will be better, “m” will be better if we work out, if we don’t i will be better, and he will suffer from his own lies, disingeniune self, and false pretenses he lives under, right up underneath my nose… i sooooo wanted to shout, as he was telling the girl he was gushing over, “i am going camping in April if you want to go… ” you see he asked me to go camping… that we were going to get a group. because he did not acknowledge me as i am sitting there talking with them, i wanted to shout, YOU DO NOT GO CAMPING, YOU HAVE NEVER GONE CAMPING, WE HAVE. I AM THE ONE WHO CALLS TO ARRANGE YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!! sorry…

    he even stated to me not two weeks ago, “i bought a stove for us when we camp!!!” can you believe that??? now it is like i do not exist???? !!!!!!! when i am less than 1 foot from him listening to his lies his total disrespect, he disgusts me, he cheapens me.

    please give me direction someone, i so want to him to see me dating others in front of his face. i want him to want me and can’t have me… i am so hurt now. it is killing me….

  1277. #1277 by Lioness on February 28, 2010 - 11:33 pm

    Mia,
    I feel so bad for you I am going through the same thing almost as you my taurus cant even talk to me as himself he has to hide behind some other name pretending to be someone else meanwhile living the good life w the new live in gf…. talk about cheap and used there ya go!!!! I know you are hurting and maybe it is just best to let him go for awhile and see what happens I am planning on doing the same thing so sick of the lies the games and etc. I couldnt even look at him when I saw him yesterday he just made me sick by moving in with someone else. I know how you feel girl just hang in there and be strong and keep your options open and the next good guy that comes along go out with him. I know you love your taurus guy but it seems like he doesnt want to settle at all and maybe when you are out doing your thing with someone else then maybe he will realize what is gone after he lost it. My taurus man already knows I am not going to go after him he already told me that he had to come to me well I think it is just words he is not going to do anything just empty promises just to get some ego gratification for himself. He wanted to write me to tell me hello when I finally get on yahoo about 40 min later he wont respond back even tho he is mobile. I have simply had enough of this mess and I am getting out myself while I still can…….. xoxo Lioness

  1278. #1278 by Mia on March 1, 2010 - 12:27 am

    hey all,
    i just spoke with my friend and she doesn’t see a problem!!! she was sitting right next to “m”…

    isnt’ that hilarious.

    she thinks he acted fine, and i acted fine.

    we both acted like friends talking together…

    geez…

    what? you think i am just jealous because he was giving the new girl and the gal pal the attention and not me??? uh yeah?

    what? he knew what he was doing and he got to me? see I’m a blithering poor woah is me crybaby? yeah, BUT i have done nothing rash!

    his last text was “u online i am sorry” and it truly did melt my heart… because he saw the sincerity in my message about not a big deal and i forgave him about the bowling thing, and told him how kind he was to pay for my friend. i think he also was glad i rushed off ultimately, as i think he only wanted me to get in his truck so he could be “frisky” with me, yup he will see from now on i am going to avoid that s## part cuz i need to feel more respect from him now.

    now is the time for TRUE DATE, not come over and have s## date and then treat me nothing more than a friend in public.

    please forgive all my texts but have a question for you Jess, lionsroar and jane, saggi girl, lioness and all…

    … i see now that this is WAY MORE than to choose to treat me nothing more than a friend in public and in front of church friends… this is I CHOOSE NOT TO ASSOCIATE or be PHYSICALLY NEAR you in public, i choose to NOT SIT NEAR YOU AND NOT SPEAK TO YOU, but speak to the latest single girl learning allllllllll about her and flirting with her and his gal pal too, RIGHT UP IN FRONT OF MY NOSE, BEING LOUD ABOUT IT as he did today. he was brash and loud!!!! even flirty with the server…

    oh everyone thinks he is too adorable, and he eats it up. it is sickening… it turns me off. my attraction for him is so low now…

    Ms Pisces, thank you for the advice, but he knows i am there for him good and/or bad, but still he chooses to not acknowledge his love for me, he is blatently fighting it, by blatently sitting next to available girls and flirting with them setting up trips like camping… but remember i just confronted him last this past week, for calling and picking up girls going places with them, he does this with a gal pal and i said if you want to date me do not do that i wont’ either… hm…

    i just realized this is the first weekend in a while that he deliberately sabatoged our date. blatently. i need to not be available to him. and don’t you think he knows i am mad at him for how he behaved today? but i do not need to let on that?

    Jess, i see you calming Jane down, I so wish you could help me but my problem is all of your taurus guys are not putting other girls in front of you like mine is. he is no way near commiting himself to me, and i truly would think he would disagree if someone asked him if he was dating me…. i KNOW he would say he is totally unattached and would not claim dating me, or seeing me at all… i think he is totally ashamed of me, it seems, but why?

    how can i attract him again… i have not heard from him at all…

    and he is moving into a friend mode with me… and i guess he always has… come to think of it, he has NEVER stated me as any more of a friend… but when we message, he is like kissing me… smooching me, frisky… and when we are together i can’t get him off me, he is all over me.. he is using me for almost a year now?

    I will leave now with this…

    I read somewhere that if YOU WANT YOUR TAURUS man to start feeling for you, to INTERACT with others around him… that he needs to watch how you interact as “friends” with him even if you have a ss##ual relationship “privately” from others… this is true??

    Thank you, sending hugs and needing advice, i need to back off… ? i certainly think I want to NOT go out with him next weekend if he asked… I have to start turning him down some!

    Jess, is he gone? i so love him and i so do not want to date others… (this man in choir held my waist today and told me how gorgeous i am… and ‘m” knows him! he would die if he knew… “m” says he is crazy… i think he is jealous of any guy around me so that is why he says that. also some of the gals in choir said i look like a model and wish they had my legs… wow, that is so sweet… you see i wanted to look great today and wore a cute pink plaid skirt and black turtleneck with black tights and black mary jane heels today at church… so other than when i am not around him they lift me up… he ignores me…

    please please forgive my long posts here, i am soooo like jane as i do take him personally and i over analyze, but i am missing him and want him to move towards me not away… please help jess…

    sorry and help!
    mia xoxoxo
    jane very happy for you too and jess!!!!

  1279. #1279 by Jess on March 1, 2010 - 12:58 am

    Mia,

    A quick hello and message for you because I have to leave to work in few mins!

    – Just go out date others if you feel like! (it helps to bring back your morale when you have men showing you attention and affection) BUT do not do let him know especially NOT doing it on his face!

    What do you mean your friend said he acted fine? you mean your friend finds it harmless what he did and how speak to the girl? I can’t say if you are over analyze or just being jealous but I know Taurus men can and like to flirt (harmlessly) to girls around. They do and look at it as something naturally, like beauty is there to be looked at and appreciate and it’s ok and harmless as long as it’s just talking to girls or telling them how beautiful they are. (i repeat it’s according to them not to me! LOL.! because I sometimes don’t like it and can be jealous too!)

    Mia, you need to calm down first and get some rest because you seem not in the position to make a good decision now BUT you are sure having to talk to him about this his manner in treating you.

    Please stop crying, we will help you think and assess your situation, there are many caring people here at least to cheer you up. Now do whatever that make you feel good but you need to sleep and let your body and mind at ease and at peace.

    I’ll get back to you again soon because i need to run now, geez i must be getting old because just one night dancing like crazy and now i feel like cripple already! LOL!

  1280. #1280 by Jess on March 1, 2010 - 1:02 am

    Lioness,

    You saw him moving in with someone! Let go of him girl, do not waste any more time wondering how and why he did communicate with you all these time. Stop talking to him on line or off line. It’s gonna be hard but try slowly get rid of him in your mind and thought.

    Take care and pamper yourself with whatever make you feel good.

  1281. #1281 by LIONSROAR on March 1, 2010 - 1:37 am

    Mia,

    Dear sweet Mia…Sister put on your big girl panties. You’ve had other relationships.. stop and really think about this.. did you let any of those guys pull half of this shit? Answer is most likely no.. you see the older we get the less we tend to ‘fight’.. we pick and choose our battles.. If you started with the first man in your life and recall what they did that made you say.. enough is enough.. and then look at the one after that, and so on.. pretty sure you will see each guy gets to pull a little more crap than needed. Is it desperation? NO. It is maturity.. it is the realization of what is not a big deal and what is. Not being acknowledged and booty calls IS A BIG DEAL! YOU ARE A GIFT AND SO IS YOUR BODY, MIND, FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE.. It is a priceless gift it belongs to those in your life that are special. Think Gucci or Prada!!You mentioned in posts back that you had a child/children grown and out of the house. What would you tell your son or daughter if they called you crying there eyes out, their emotional pain and feeling of being used and betrayed feeling real???? Stop yourself and answer that. Would you tell your children to accept that and pull up there boot straps? I certainly hope the answer is NO. You are not dependent on this man for finances, you do not have children together, he is not your upcoming kidney donor and he really hasnt taken you anywhere and swept you off your feet. He has been companionship, a romp in the bed to help you remember what it feels like to be a beautiful woman. I do not need to answer any of your questions you have answered them all. You want validation for your actions because you dont like to loose. Perhaps you are looking at this wrong.. Perhaps you helped him, went deeper into yourself and it is time for you to say goodbye on an intimate level so that you are open for someone who is as ready you for an ADULT relationship.. hence; You Win. He feels it is okay to be this way that is why he treats you this way. Its not okay and when he calls you tell him.. thanks had a good time, but I’ve outgrown this, I’ve shared way to much to be a ghost when the public is around. Sorry My Dear but I happen to Love Myself way to much for this shit.. no hard feelings, good luck camping and with the new girl.. And keep going. DO NOT CHANGE CHURCHES.. For godsake you werent married for 15 yrs.. you were casually dating. Just stay the hell away from both of them. You owe no one an explanation. I think its too soon to date, sorry but you wont appreciate a nice guy if he dragged you to heaven right now. Take a few weeks off, cry and heal.. but ignore him. IF YOU ARE THAT DAMN IMPORTANT HE WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE! They are no different then us..if we want it we usually get it.. If he doesnt… GOOD, Means you dont have to waste anymore precious time waiting onthe right one. xoxox

    Lioness…. PLEASE YOU ARE A LEO!You know who you are, you know your worth.. everyone notices you, you are the go to person, you love like no one else..and hate like hell to be burned and let someone in to do it.. Well you did.. it happens..Now be that LIONESS AND TEACH THAT ASSHOLE YOU DONT POKE STICKS AT A LION IN THE CAGE… CAUSE GUESS WHAT … HE’S MOVING IN WITH SOMEONE ELSE, HE JUST OPENED YOUR CAGE DOOR MY PRETTY..BITE BABY!

  1282. #1282 by Lioness on March 1, 2010 - 2:27 am

    Thankyou Lionsroar and Jess,
    you are exactly right Lionsroar I couldnt have put it better myself!!! you gave me much encouragement no one messes with my head and gets away with it for sure the cage door is open…… He will regret ever messing with me at all…. and I hope he and the new person can drown in their misery because that is where it is going to go and I will set back and enjoy the show lmao!!!!! Thanks girls for being here and listening. xoxo Lioness

  1283. #1283 by Confused Libra on March 1, 2010 - 3:03 am

    Something I read from the book a while ago and all of yours and mine of course reminded me ” There is true happiness in relationship and if we are not happy, if we have to work VERY HARD and ALONE, it is perhaps not meant to be to start with”

    I got to think, is it because something that’s out of our reach? and something/someone that we cant’ have that’s making it/him/her much more valuable to us?

    I struggled in the last 8 months and finally said goodbye to my Taurus knowing that I was not going to be able to change him (even though that was not my intention to want to change him but I subconsciously wanted him to change/his mind and want to be with me. I came to a realization that even though he’s got everything i am looking for in a long term partner, he is “NOT ready and available for RELATIONSHIP.”

    Few weeks after I said good bye to him, of course he starts calling/texting again, knowing I won’t settle for a SEX-ONLY relationship. I know i need something positive and made myself available to date other man. I don’t jump at the gun the moment I got his text and deleted his number off my phone (well, the number is still fresh so I remember it by heart). Surprisingly, I have had the famous “TALK” with two of the men that i met in the last 4 weeks. Both want to date exclusively one after 2 dates and the other after 4 dates. They have been calling, texting and words matches with their actions. Most importantly, they all want to have children, available/ready to date and relationship oriented. (v.s my taurus never wanted to talk about commitment and cant’ even commit a date a week away)

    I don’t know what I will do yet but one of the man I am currently seeing now seems very promising and we both enjoy each other’s company. We’ll see how it goes.

  1284. #1284 by Lioness on March 1, 2010 - 6:24 am

    Thanks for sharing that confused Libra, I hope you find some happiness with some other man who can give you what you want. Thats what I am gonna start looking for myself someone who can be there for me and etc. I deserve so much better than having to deal with mind games, trying to be put in this love triangle and him to deny to me that it was really him on yahoo. I feel like such a fool and I feel like it has been a waste of time. He gets mad at me because I dont listen to him well I dont listen to anyone. He says that I couldnt trust him even if I wanted to…… I ask him how I can trust someone that tells nothing but lies to me. But its ok I told him I forgave him long ago and I bid him farewell I said sometimes we have to let someone go because of love and if they come back you know it was meant to be….. I wished him all the best and of course he comes back saying that I have someone else in my head its always the same with him. The stories never change and how he denys things are the same as well. So it is now over and he can deal with what he has going on……… I hope everything works out with you girls and your taurus men!!!! xoxo Lioness

  1285. #1285 by Mia on March 1, 2010 - 9:05 am

    Jess, Lionsroar,

    Thank u. Ur help is invaluable. I am not sure how much you realize how your validation and loving support soothes and calms me. It is beyond priceless, and i … emotional here, yeah crying stupid hormones… but truly i love you both so dearly, all of you here. you have no idea how much you have helped my life.

    I have two glaring perceptions that are so sobering here!

    1. he obviously wants our relationship secret, but wants me for s&& and some companionship, plus he sends me some FWDs from work. BUT he does NOT converse with me on email, text in any form other than strictly friends and I would not even go that far, it is very short and impersonal. there is NO INDICATION on any level that we are dating at all. i am trying to remember exactly what he said when he wanted so badly to get back with me after the gal thing over the holidays. What I DID NOT TELL YOU, is that the girl that i saw on his connect messenger thingee… SHE WAS NOT the girl he was seeing! meaning there were two??? he said he didn’t know who she was… and he is still connected to her in messenger..

    oh shi#. oh shi#. omg the other night about 11:30 i got online, he was there, he wanted to chat with me, he cam to camed me i was conversing and he kept typing but i didn’t see anything typed on my screen… he kept looking and what appeared to be typing… i finally said, are you talking to someone else? then he got back with me but never acknowledged it … that is when he got frisky… or maybe already was… i’m like what if he cams to cams other gals… OR THE ONE THAT I SEE THE CONNECTION TO… he could be like doing dirty things, AND I KNOW HIM HE WOULD NOT BE ON THAT LATE normally unless there was a reason… i have suspected that for awhile but ESPECIALLY after he connected with her at 3 am christmas night. I hate to be this sobering but I have to admit I’ve put these pieces together before and he well, he is very interested in himself in that way… to show me and well… when he first camed to camed me that was the first thing i thought of and was so scared if he ever did that with anyone else…

    remember, he is very sexual with me, he has not taken me out for months, the last few times have been at my home and he will attack me when i go into the den (i wasn’t ready so had the door open and he came on inside my home) then i come downstairs and he is in the den watching t.v. i sit next to him, he ravishes me i melt into him, we have wild fiery passion, then no cuddling… he sits back on one side of couch and me on the other, watch more t.v. then wii… then he does a quick peck on cheek, quick hug and leaves. but remember as boring as this sounds, i love it. really just wish he would cuddle, but sometime i will rub his neck or massage his back… i do like doing that… and we have so much fun playing the wii… he will stay for like 5 hours, so if it were just sex don’t you think he would just leave?

    2. the worst is that today is the FIRST time his friend has ever seen me out in public where WE WERE NOT A COUPLE… yes whenever “m” has talked with “o” we were on a date and he would say he is with me… i’m crying now… because it CONFIRMS to his friend THAT WE ARE NOT A COUPLE… don’t you see??? i am so sorry… IT CONFIRMS TO ME TOO…

    I CONFIRMS TO ME THAT he is choosing to present himself as single and available to all that see him…

    this is a farse. i’m done. ( i wrote this one last.. the below was me writing my thoughts… )

    ___________________________________

    it isn’t so much me dealing with how to get my taurus guy to move into an emotional attachment with me, yes i do want to at least see what that feels like with him… what is more important to me and for me to learn what is normal, what is healthy, i’m an idiot and do not know. i just know that his behavior today hurts. i felt like his shunned little sister… i don’t want that to sound gross… but maybe he could tell i was vying for his attention, and even though i was perfectly normal, and we conversed, it was only through my questions, not him talking to me directly. the only thing he asked me was about softball. other than that, he was talking to the new gal, and his gal pal, but now i think he wants his gal pal to be with his friend that was there too, “o”… he is the guy that wanted to date me, lol. no, he is very nice, (but i am not interested in him, i love smarta%%, geez) he is the guy that spoke with me once about “m”s behavior! didn’t i tell you that he and another of “m”s friends (he really likes me too) they spoke with me one night when we all were trying to figure out “m”s behavior cuz he will set up things to do with them to and not show.. they said all he knows is superficial relationships and he is so insecure, a little spoiled growing up, and does not follow through on any commitment, that they hold him accountable. I told them both, “m” could NOT HAVE better wiser friends.

    Lionsroar, Jess and all,
    the new gal i can remember him mentioning lately, his gal pal, both are NOT HIS TYPE… the new gal is plump, cute in the face, and the gal pal, i do believe him when he says he has no feelings for… she is not his type either, she is a bit frumpy, i don’t mean it in a bad way…. you see i am artsy, and i am very particular over my clothes and my hair and my make up and my perfume, for instance i ripped off and on outfits before going out the door this morning to church, lol, know you can relate.

    so i guess i wouldn’t call it so much as flirting as if talking with them but this time, I DIDN’T SIT BACK AND SULK, i was very active in conversation with the new girl and the gal pal, i don’t think he noticed.

    and if you had been there you probably would have said he was fine. and he definitely didn’t ignore me. it appeared as if he was talking to me and them at times but what killed me was he was telling them stuff he didn’t tell me, heeeeeeyyyy wait a minute !!!!

    do you think that this was a test? not a deliberate test but a subconscious one… to see how i get along in public with him, but as now he sees i will put up with it, it is fine with me that he can deliberately seek being around his friends and i just happened to come with my friend… unbelievable. i don’t even think he thought i was coming… he did not text me to say come join them, nothing, he had no intention of wanting me there… ( he did NOT CARE… he is not into me bottomline) nah i guess not. he just was probably sending me a message, that i see you in private only. i treat you like a friend but because i can have my way with you and you allow me to have my way with you, then all the girls that i enjoy being around (even though they may be ugly, i can still immerse in conversation over choosing conversation with you)

    i truly do not think it is all he is just not that into you.

    i think he enjoys my company immensely, we so enjoy camping together, but i just think he is soooo not ready for anything other than being single for now.

    if i am to protect myself here then I WOULD NEVER forgive myself if i were to continue having passionate intimacy with him hoping he would grow emotional with me, and then him dumping me for someone else… that would be a nightmare, so in all honesty, i just can’t do that even though i am freaking wild over him.

    since i am a woman of class here, yup ๐Ÿ˜‰ and as of now with him, i have left it with his apology to me, i am just going to have to subtly start saying i am busy the night he asks me out…

    jess, lionsroar, going to bed now…

    i am too tired to decide anything, i love this asshole.

    can’t i just back off some, and stay quiet for awhile…. and observe him, not giving him sex but steering him in a respectful manner with me? i want to become suddenly NOT SO AVAILABLE…. and i am not sure how much more irresistable i can become, lol… i primp so!

    but jess, i can feel a few guys that are in my choir getting close and one may just ask me out…. i can’t imagine what i would do if someone asked me out? should i not tell ‘m’ if that were to happen? i don’t want to be deceitful, but i’m afraid if i am so accountable to him, he will disrespect me even more… i felt soooo disrespected today…

    this guy was acting so differently you see, his gal pal and the new gal are on a higher respect plane than me… the other gal last night are on a lower respect attracted plane… that is my take on the way he acts towards others…

    i’m done. he sucks i know.

    i’m averaging about 3 hours sleep per night. i’m exhausted much of the time… i may have to call into work tomorrow… i’m getting chronic back pain too…

    jess, lionsroar, i just can’t drop this man… but i don’t want to stay this way and have him drop me first.

    is there a way i can say i need some time to take a break for a month, i want a reason that would make him pine for me, maybe what gets the guy is when he feels he is about to loose you???

    and he used to spend entire weekends doing things for me, about the truck, being with me, taking me to play pool, taking me to hang out with friends, to now coming over to my house one night per week, and this past weekend nothing…

    it’s like he is totally loosing interest… i feel him about to go, especially when he told the new girl HE camps and that is a lie. he camps with me, he DESCRIBED HIS TENT TO HER! OUR TENT. OUR TENT!!!!!! he hasn’t gone camping without me any last summer!!!!!!!!!!!! just one month ago, he texted, “i bought a stove for when we go camping!” un fu##belevable… he sickens me…

    it does not matter, what matters is the fact that he didn’t text me this afternoon about going camping with her and everyone… normally he would. he has done a sudden turn here.

    okay i’m going to bed now…

    mia
    thank you so much, love to you… jess lionsroar… please i just can’t totally break it off i don’t think… it is sad when i want advice to pull him in…

    i think he thinks i’m now making demands on “relationship” meaning i said referring to him picking up with all the gal pal right in front of my nose last weekend, meaning if he wants to spend afternoons being with another girl, helping her with her car, taking her to eat with his friend (he has never NEVER done that with me) then DO NOT DATE ME. otherwise, i don’t call up guys and do things with them, you don’t call up gals and do things with them… i date you, you date me, we date only each other for now…

    that is when he did a 180… and sabotoges our “date” we had made for last night… but think he was highly disappointed when i just left the parking lot last night, think he was wanting me to have s&& with him, then he wanted to get online with me last night, think it was to have s%%… i did not do either of those… so today he could have been highly perturbed with me… hmmmmmm…

    hmmmmmmmmmmmm….

  1286. #1286 by Jess on March 1, 2010 - 10:33 am

    Mia,

    I totally agree with Lionsroar. Personally I don’t like telling other people how and what to do with their own business, my basic assumption is that if they don’t and can’t love and appreciate themselves enough to know their self worth and pull themselves out of any shit and push themselves to get what they deserve, it’s none and not in my power to help them. But I guess you can’t come over to kick my ass here anyway if i said this.

    Taurus or any men, when they really like a woman they like to show off their women to the world! There is no such thing as secret relationship when a guy really like a girl. He will be treating you as nice and well in public as in private NOW! not in the next few weeks, nor the next months. What kind of man who have sex with you but treat you as stranger when out in public. He has not taken you out for month you said that!!! It has nothing to do with him feeling ashame of you but he feel ashame of the ‘relationship’ he has with you! So tell me if you still like to love someone who doesn’t give you love nor respect not even true friendship???!!!

    NOw you think about it and decide for yourself how you want to do with this thing you have with him.

    Rest and feel better soon.

  1287. #1287 by Mia on March 1, 2010 - 7:57 pm

    yeah, ur right Jess. he just fwded me some stuff from work.

    my instinct tells me though, that he isn’t necessarily ashamed of the relationship, but he is more not reading for a commitment, as he can’t commit to ANYTHING. he id not even go the the church class he signed up for? see? people start taking that person with a grain of salt, when they say they are going to do something, you know it is now true. and in his case 9 times out of 10 he does not do it.

    he only wants me around when he is using me. and today he FWDed me a note from work as he knows i like that stuff… so i thought oh well. then he sent another wanting someone’s email address. he always treats me very formal when he knows he has done something wrong…

    he said, mia, hello, may i have blah bllah email address.

    i’m at home today need to get rest.

    ignore? ignore it. he can get it elsewhere, he will nothing from me from now on… ?

    yup i am an idiot. and need to be told the simpliest things. yup i am highly completitve as lionsroar’s says and i think i am in shock that a guy would treat me this way, but he was with another girl when he met me, why would i want that…

    he has no desire to be in a relationship now. and ironically don’t think i am either… i’m done.

    no contact? none at all? okay… please help me through out i can do this… thank you, mia xoxoxoxoxox

  1288. #1288 by saggi girl on March 1, 2010 - 11:59 pm

    Jess,

    oh, my god, congratulations.. i know you will make it. Hugs and kisses.. Congratulations again.

    I have just done with my moving officially yesterday with the help of my taurus.. hehehe.. we are back together again..He told me that he was happy to see me again.. then he said” God, too many dramas…”.

    Actually, he called me on friday night( if you read my previouls note that i called him first after the text on Thursday).. then i told him that i missed him, then he was silent on the phone for a while, then i asked him if he missed me too, then he sighed and said” yes, I did. but it was just too much fightings and I was tired”.. then he was also like:” you were mad all the time, if i didn’t call you back, you were mad, if i dropped you off earlier, you were mad..if……blah blah). then i was like: i was just not secure and thought you were with someone else.” then he was like” that is bull-shit, if i went out with someone else, i would have let you know.” then i was like” you are still my boyfriend, right? so if you meet someone else behind my back, you are cheating.”. then he was jokingly said that i broke up with him and i was no longer his girlfriend, then we were joking back and forth. then he was like” alright, we were not broken up but we both need to calm down.” then i was like” you love me right?'” then he was like” i told you already.” then he asked me if i need help for moving.. then i said” i do.” then he was like” ok, i will be there on sunday.. and tomorrow i will be busy..but i will either call or text you, ok? if i do not call, do not freak out. Ok?” It was a nice conversation and he was very sweet on the phone.. then he came on sunday but a little bit late.. he helped me handling some issue with the moving company.. as there was a little trouble.. then he called the company and i was trying to argue with them on my own, but he told me to be quiet and he will handle it..
    oh, God, those bulls are really good at arguing.. and in order to save the time for moving, so i will get charged lower, he helped to carry some stuffs to the 4th floor..at the end, i was still mad at the movers, when they tried to talk to me, i was a little bit argumentative to make my point to them.. then my bull was sitting on my bed and watching me talking. he smiled and then he said to the movers:” well, she will be ok..thanks for your guys hard work.. drive safely… she will cool off in a couple of days.. i know that.. ” then he tipped the mover and they left..

    well, we are ok now.. he left in the evening.. and we texted for good night on that day.

    I am ok now and i learned a lot this time.. as i realized how it felt like when i almost lost him.. thank you, Jess..

    oh, something worths to mention is that” i asked him if i did not contact him, if he will contact me since i broke up with him..” then he was like” i just wanted some time off… i won’t call you right away.. but i will later.” then i was like” how long? like a month?” then he was like” no, it won’t be that long.”

    something funny is that he was not that mad at me as i expected.. i was in his car and saw the key ring i gave to him with my name on was still there, then i was like” hi, my name is still there.. so if someone sitting in your car and asked you who this is, what you are gonna say?” then he was like” my baby.”

  1289. #1289 by saggi girl on March 2, 2010 - 12:18 am

    Jane,

    i just briefly read your post and it seemed that you did not get chance to see your bull.. i am sorry about that. i know it is hard and especially when they let us down..

    i was so familiar with this act as my bull did that before.. cancelled the date a few hours before.. well, you know my drama with him, right?? so, do not feel too bad.. as you can see, Jess had the same dramas too.

    communication is very important and you did well on your text. so, he responded and considered your feeling.. so, that is a very good progress, isn’t it? Jane, keep that in mind that you need to communicate about your feeling but do not make drama out of it.. i am trying to be less dramatic now.. like my bull was late on sunday. then when he walked in and said to me” sorry for being late.. almost right on time, right??” if it was before, i will be pissed and take it personal that he does not take me serious..” but i just laugh it off and get the day going.. i think i need to be less emotional..

    I told my bull yesterday after he complimented me for making good decision about new place that i chose, that i thank him for calming me down. and be patient with my dramas.. then he told me like” life was a lot easier when you can calm down to make decisions..” it is so true.. we need to calm down and less emotional to them and not take everything they did personal..

  1290. #1290 by Mia on March 2, 2010 - 1:34 am

    saggi, jess, jane, lionsroar,

    i erased my post after reading the one saggi posted for jane. i too get way too overly emotional.

    my bull called me and we talked it out, he is still on the bowling issue and apologized for like the 4th time and told me it was a mistake on his part, we should have gone to the drive in like he promised. but said i get too emotional and he says he gets aggravated when he asks a simple question and i talk my way around a mountain instead of yes, no or here is your info.

    jess says they like solutions, no drama. i think i am getting emotional cuz i see him telling those gals things he never told me and i do not realize it is okay and that he does like me in a different way than them, there is no reason for me to be jealous, i just like attention from him, guess i get jealous.

    i too will calm down and not take everything he does personal.

    i am soooooooooo happy for you Saggi !!! Jane, your guy will miss you even more! I do know that. Jess, i am so happy for your milestone, I already knew he loves you deeply as with Saggi’s guy and I know the same is true for you too Jane! I can feel that for sure. Lionsroar, for you too!

    peace to you,
    mia ~ xoxoxoxox

  1291. #1291 by Lioness on March 2, 2010 - 3:17 am

    Mia,
    I know what you mean with the being emotional. I try not to be but what I get irritated at is lies. Then I get ticked off and I blow everything out of proportion. My taurus I think plays these games because it is a fun way to get to know me and since he is sooo insecure he has to pretend to be someone else. I have figured that if he didnt care about me in some way or was just stringing me along why do it when he has a live in girlfriend? I would think he would be more respectable to her if he was really in love with her. I think he would shut down all communication to me and not even bother. I had every intention of not getting back on yahoo last night because I was so fed up and angry. I had a feeling he couldnt let me go so when I started to ignore him I had messages from him all day long…… It doesnt bother me that he is with someone I just wish he would be honest with me. I think to be honest about it they are more friends than anything anyways and he just moved in to help her out probably and save some money. He kept on telling me and my friend that he had none and was concerned about that he was also mad that I cut off all contact with him and got angry when a friend of mine was trying to set me up with someone and he was with that girl. when I asked him about her back in october he said she didnt mean anything to him and last month he told my friend he could drop her at any time. I saw him once at my friends house driving in the car with her why on earth if you were so interested in her would you start staring at me and wave??? It doesnt make any sense to me I think all of this is is just a bunch of tests to put me through to see if I would stick around for him. especially when he is telling my friend last month for me to wait on him….. The whole situation just doesnt add up. I think as a Leo I make him feel insecure about himself and etc. I remember when I first met him and started talking to him he was so nervous around me he was shaking. Whenever he had a problem in his life he came to me himself and talked about it. I felt like I was his mother or something and the little kid was telling me what he did wrong. He always talks to me differently too never cusses hardly always polite and gentleman like. He also said when he takes me on a date we are going to the movies and we arent sleeping together on the first date…. I am thinking to myself what exactly are you doing here because I dont understand it at all he is crazy that is for sure!!!!! But he also cares about me to get mad at my friend for her lying to me and he goes along with what I say for some reason whenever he talks to her. I think talking to her himself makes him feel closer to me because the last time they talked I got a message from him on an alias saying he was thinking about me. I am so confused I feel like going out and dating others till he makes up his mind!!!! Goodluck to you all will check back later… Lioness

    Mia am glad you are trying to talk it out with him hopefully he will be able to see that you are the one for him!!!
    Jane am so sorry that your man took off without seeing you but you know how they are they are all about themselves and sometimes they dont recognize others emotions and such unless you spell it out to them.
    Saggi I am glad your man has helped you with moving and are getting back on track with him yes I agree the taurus man does know how to argue they will spin it around and make you look crazy in the end……. Most of the time that I have found out that they dont like to argue if they know your pissed about something they just sit back and let you vent and will give you overnight or until the next day to cool off…. Its so funny how these men are and they feel like what doesnt drive you apart will make you closer go figure…. Also saggi those men are so patient if you broke up with them they will wait for you to come back mine even told me that himself that he would wait for me to make up my mind. Meanwhile he does his own thing while he waits….

  1292. #1292 by Jess on March 2, 2010 - 1:52 pm

    saggi girl,

    Thank you and I’m so happy for you too that your relationship is ok once again! LOL! It sounds great the way you and your guy had a conversation in a calm relaxing and joking tone… You sound calm and that I’m sure you learned something this time. I wish you from now only a happy life ahead with your guy.

    Now my bf (hehe this is a bit ticklish when I said that!) is on a business trip again… He is very unusual this time, he text me when he was on the way to airport, text again when he was about to take off, and again when he landed safe. I was too busy to reply until I got home and I also found his offline msg wishing me a nice week and he will try to connect during the time I usually connect….. Wow that is strange!!! He never gave many reports in a roll like this! I’ll will not take this serious because we all know these men will be back to his bull style soon…

    I started already to miss him so much weeks ahead before his long trip in Europe. This is going to be hard for me.

    Something came across my mind, feelings are like a dam, you keep storing it inside wait until it can’t be retain so you can’t keep it anymore but pouring it out. I’m happy the feelings we been keeping it inside for all these time are good feelings. Ladies, what I’m trying to say is that I’m sure all the good feelings you been making and giving to your Taurus guys are not in vain. They notice it, they just don’t say it but storing it inside till one day they surrender to you.

  1293. #1293 by saggi girl on March 2, 2010 - 3:59 pm

    Jess,

    hehehe…you boyfriend…hehehe…i felt a little ticklish too..LOL

    i am so glad of way your relationship going and how it ended up.. you are the winner.. keep it up with the good work and share with us more..so i can learn more from you..

    yeah, they are like that. they play hot and cold at the begining and seemed very selfish and it was always about them.. i am sure they will continue to be that way.. but they will add you into their routine if they decided you are the one….

  1294. #1294 by Jane on March 2, 2010 - 8:28 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi saggi girl, thank you, yes I didnโ€™t get ti see him before he left, he did talk the sweet bullshit via text about misunderstanding blah blah!!! He also apologised for upsetting me, thanked me for understanding and when I wished him happy holidays and not to forget me too much (hee,hee) he was very sweet with text back โ€˜ I could never forget you my princess and thank you for understandingโ€™ Oh such sweet talkers these Taurus guys for sure!!

    This may sound crazy saggi and may be you can relate/understand thisโ€ฆโ€ฆ
    All the texts before he went, sweet caring and recognising my feelings plus the one where he said โ€˜no need to make a mountain out of a mole hillโ€™!! lol I actually find all of that โ€˜progressโ€™ in my relationship with him because a few months back he wouldnโ€™t not even respond to me or even care to consider my feelings (shame he didnโ€™t consider them enough to see me like!! LOL) also I am feeling (hoping too) that telling me off with the โ€˜mountain/molehillโ€™ thing tells me he feeling more comfortable with me! He would never have done that before. Do you think I am right with that!? Did you notice anything like that with your guy in early stages!?

    Saggi girl yes I do remember your drama, Jessโ€™s too!!
    You are so right how everything about them, which brings me to ask you thisโ€ฆ.
    I havnโ€™t heard from him since Sunday afternoon and although I donโ€™t really expect too, I am thinking it would be upsetting for me if I donโ€™t hear from him the whole time he away (do you think I am wrong to expect that he text me!?) I am just thinking as he knows how upset I was before he went, then he should at leas make contact to me. Then I think would he want to hear from me!?
    I donโ€™t want to intrude on his holiday, I just have never been in this situation before with a guy so not sure really if I should text or not!!! Part of me wants to create space for him to miss me, what do you think Saggi??

    Thank you Saggi girl, yes I think him considering my feelings is progress, fingers x it continues, I am missing him all ready!!! Usually hear from him every day, so this feels odd.

    Hey, how great you and your guy getting cozy again, SOOOOO SWEET and it real cute how he complimented you on your choice of place to live (hope you happy there) you are doing great sggi, all this recent experience with him, your feelings ect has given you and him some much clearer perspective and wow its having a โ€˜calmโ€™ affect on you, you go girl!! He loves you, that is obvious for sure!!! Thank you again

  1295. #1295 by Jane on March 2, 2010 - 8:52 pm

    Mia

    Oh sweet Mia, bless you, you have been having such a tough time is it any wonder your emotions are all over the place!?
    I know you really love this guy and you are hanging in there with your commitment to him but as jess said, he should not be ignoring you in public, and who does he think he is!!!??? Does he not realise yet how gorgeous you are, he has โ€˜blinkersโ€™ on for sure!!
    Mia, do not cry, so difficult when you feel like banging your head against the wall. I must be honest with you about thisโ€ฆ. I struggle to read your post because your intense story/situation and you say it how it is that I get lost and mixed up when I am reading it! Sorry, I am understanding you most of what you explain.

    What I have come to understand very well from you Mia is you are so intelligent, you understand so well and have very important and vital imput to us all, but look at you, what you deserve, what you want and what you need. I would not be having sex with this guy anymore until โ€˜YOUโ€™ have something more from him that you can rely on, I mean when you look back on your very early posts and how things where between you both, so encouraging and so very lovely, you know this guy well. He must appreciate you, you deserve that so much Mia, I hope you are ok. Thank you for you response to me, I know you upset at the moment. Big hugs to you xx

  1296. #1296 by saggi girl on March 2, 2010 - 8:54 pm

    hi Jane,

    i would suggest that you do not contact him and only responde when he contacts you. as i remembered mine at the begining when he went to see his dad.. he told me that he will not talk to me during the trip as he wants to enjoy the time with his dad.. would expect me to enjoy mine too.. but he will contact me briefly during the trip.. so he just texted me briefly that he missed me on the last day..but that was only 3 days away trip… but i did not do it well on that one as i did not text him back, then i found out next day when he called me in the airport that he was very disppointed that i did not responde and asked me what had happened??? he thought that was a very nice gesture from him to text me like that but i did not reply. so from that experience, i would say” responde but not text him initially”.
    He also made comment about the girl he used to date and everything was great until he went away with his trip, that girl lost control and constantly calling and crying because he was away..he said that he ended that relationship right after the trip as he thought that she was scary and crazy, actually he told me about this incident with this girl right before his trip to see his dad, i did not know if he was doing that on purpose to let me know what he expected, and i was glad that i was not acting that crazy.. as i was not deeply in love with him yet at the begining.. i probably would be crazy right now..LOL

    Jane. give him space he needed.. go on your day. He would think you are a very indepent woman, which is some quality that taurus guy would like to see…

    One more thing that i want to tell you: do not treat him as the center of your life, as i did that at the begining, then we broke up after 2 months of dating… then i realized it and adjusted myself… then he told me after we reconnected that no guy can handle a girl like that, a girl needs to have her own life too…

    Jane, you are doing well so far.. come to this site to vent or talk whatever will help you to pass the time while he was away..
    I know, my guy and i are ok now.. and i learned to love him in a right way. I was not happy when i was with him, then i realized that Iwas even more miserable when I was not with him. i need to make myself happy by being less dramatic and more in a calm manner..

    Hugs and kisses to you, Jane

  1297. #1297 by saggi girl on March 2, 2010 - 8:59 pm

    hi Jane,

    i fogot to responde to your first question in regard to the little progress along the way.. Yes, i do see progress along your way.. that is the way to have a clue with them.. mine does not like to text at all…so whenever i texted him, he would not responde unless that is the urgent.. but now, he texted me and he knows that i like texting..i think the way of figuring them out is to see if they consider your feeling in a little way.. but do not expect to see big move with them.. you know they are the bull..LOL

  1298. #1298 by Jane on March 2, 2010 - 9:04 pm

    Jess

    Jess, oh so funny you say you feel โ€˜ticklishโ€™ saying โ€˜boyfriendโ€™ LOL ah sweet Jess, it is just so fantastic.

    Hey he reports and connects with you on his trip, oh you are so important to him now you see!!! Hee hee how great, I am so excited for you jess. I feel so sad for you too that you must miss him bad when he goes on his trip. You say this one is a long one!! Bless you. Jess i imagine tho that now you have โ€˜girlfriendโ€™ status, you feel a whole lot different with him, like its real!! ( you know what I mean!!)

    Well done Jess, your perseverance and patients has most definitely paid off and you so deserve it!!
    I hope we make it too! Wow I am trying so hardโ€ฆ..

  1299. #1299 by saggi girl on March 2, 2010 - 9:30 pm

    Mia,

    sorry about your drama, i was so busy with my moving so i did not read entirely about your story as it was too long when i have the time pressure.. but today i finally got the time read it and wanted to tell you some my thoughts..

    i would suggest that you stop Sxxing with him as he does not deserve that..as a woman, i know i love my guy, but when i have a doubt about the guy’s intention, i would back off and won’t give it all.. i think that is the way to respect yourself.. and he was a nice guy, he would respect that too..

    Mia, i know you love him with all your heart and you need to make sure that he appreciated your love before you continue to give..i am sorry to be a little bit harsh but i was just trying to make a point here..

    I do not understand and appreciate this whole secret relationship thing. I did not mean to rush him or get a title thing from his family. but he was dating you but why acting like not??? so he can have more open relationship whenever he needed???

    stop giving him the things you considered love.. as love needs to be two sided.. i do not mind being patient with their-heart-giving-whole-slow-process as long as he respects me. I think that is the base for a relationship to grow..

    Mia, you are wonderful and beautiful. you deserve better..
    hugs and kisses to all too. Feel better.

  1300. #1300 by Jane on March 2, 2010 - 9:33 pm

    Saggi girl

    You are my saviour!! Lol Thank you, I am missing him and tempting to text. Then read your response and it made so much sense about let him enjoy his trip, he will after all be focussing on that!! Also, valid point what you say about let him see how independent I am, they like that I know, you are right. I suppose he more likely to miss me that way!
    Hey, yes I agree I must not make him centre of my life, I do at times do that, I mean I am thinking of him all the time, whats he doing? Hows he feeling? Is he missing me?!!!! Yes I must stop that. To be honest saggi I was mostly thinking of making contact so he would know I was thinking of him, its crazy coz I always worry because of his insecurity that he will doubt or not trust me so I always want to make sure he doesnโ€™t forget and sees me consistant, I guess that is me in my insecurities!! I hope he having nice time (not too nice!!) But I hear what you say, leave him to have his trip and he knows very well I wish him all those things anyway! Oh role on 2weeks time!!

    Hearing your experience helps so much, its like I said to you a while back, when its someone else saying it back you see things a lot clearer!
    Thank you so much, I will take your advice saggi girl it will be better to do that. If he makes contact I will respond, I mean he away for 2 weeks almost so I will be disappointed if he does not think of me to text in all that time!

    Yes you are doing well now with your guy and saggi girl it is crazy how we have to go through stuff (bull or no bull) to change perspective and gain us better insite to how we feel and what we want, which you have done coz you do sound so much more content. So happy for you too just like Jess. I wonder which one of you will get married first!! HEE HEE!!!!!
    Thanks again saggi girl, I am noticing he considering my feelings more, I am watching him like a hawk for clues!!
    I have so much work to do (study) that I am going to use the time he away to concentrate on that, I have let it down a little and must focus on it and now perfect opportunity, keep my mind occupied!! Oh you can be certain I will be here with my story of how much I am missing him!!
    Keep up the good work saggi girl, I value your input so much too, thank you xx

  1301. #1301 by Mia on March 3, 2010 - 5:42 am

    Lioness,
    Thank you for your kind words. i do hope things get better with your taurus. I could not fathom mine living with someone, I would die and I just don’t think I could be with him. Ur case is different and I’m so saad for you. I do know that with the taurus appearances can be deceiving.

    I think it would be nice if you could speak with him face to face.
    Wishing you the best and we are here for you.
    Mia xoxoxxoxo

  1302. #1302 by Mia on March 3, 2010 - 5:54 am

    Jess,

    How powerful your words, sent chills down my spine and touched my heart deeply.

    i love your profoundness (is that a word?)…

    to know that our taurus men never overlook all of our many acts of kindness, love, support in all the good we store up in them and for them one day to all come back to them and they surrender their love to us… so touching, thank you.

    I’m so sorry about your guy leaving on the business trip for so long… I know you will miss him and know he will sorely miss you too.

    That is so sweet him texting and messaging before and after plane landed… I hope he stays in communication thoughout his trip and have a feeling he will … that is sweet that you may now call him your bf !!!

    Sending you sweet hugs!
    Mia ~ xoxoxox

  1303. #1303 by Mia on March 3, 2010 - 6:42 am

    Jane,
    Sweet hugs to you and thank you for your sweet words, they comfort me. Your guy is going to be missing you sooooo much!!!!

    Jane, Jess, Saggi and Lioness
    We are so much better now.

    What Jess said is right. My taurus has been mentally collecting all my kind words and gestures to him and today he had this turning point.

    I gave him an email address he wanted and he replied to it. I saw the email fade in then out at work and it said something like I’ve been thinking these past few weeks… my first thought was, “oh no, he is breaking up with me by email?” lollllllll…

    but sweet gals, it was one of the most endearing emails, NO it WAS the most precious endearing emails he has EVER sent to me. He thanked me for the email address, and said that the church sermans have touched him and now he realizes he has not been a very nice person and wanting to right his wrongs to all the people around him that he has mistreated or been unkind to….

    I was so very touched that he shared with me. I wrote him back telling him how much I support him and am always here for him. I told him he is a nice person or I would not be with him, that it is his behavior that has been touched upon through church.

    so in that I poured out part of my deep feelings towards him and told him he has a kind heart and spirit…

    we also teased each other about whooping each other’s butt and that he is going to have to give me a spankin’… when do i want it? i said well, you may be the gentleman and ask me out for this weekend if you like… and that I hope he has not gotten the impression that I do friends with benefits and that I hope he wants to keep learning more about me through our proper dates and that I’m am not just about “s” … (something to that effect) he agreed with me…

    so we may do the drive in movie this weekend and he ALSO
    wanted to see me so badly tonight. So, he met me at a store to help me after I got off work, then we took my truck, he drove, to 2 other stores to get things for when we camp this summer. yeah we were frisky in the truck, but it was good.

    i feel calm like saggi now.

    I am sorry I never wanted you to think we NEVER went out in public as a couple… oh yes, I never had a problem with that. We do go out places, and no he is not ashamed of me:) the only thing I was referring to was when we are both doing church stuff with our church friends.
    when we bcome bf / gf… which I think will be very subtle, i think that will take care of itself.

    Today was a milestone. He opened up his feelings to me, a first. I shared my deep feelings for him so that reiterates, I am not cheap but take his relationship with me very very seriously. And from my other message I “nicely” and very politely made if clear that I am not about FWB. and I should know this as he spends many hours with me without “s” and we do many things together… we are both planning camping and he even asked about just going this weekend. I said stop tempting me you. lol.

    when we were talking about which weekends we would be going camping & he again mentioned another event that he wants me to go to in April … we’ll see…

    he hugged me and smiled after we parted and I am getting less passive (defensive mode) and am reaching out to him as he is me… I kissed him on his sweet neck and hugged him back. I so love encouraging him and did so tonight when he spoke on something… it touched my heart so i put my arm around him and rubbed and patted his back, i do that sometimes, again it is going into his emotional bank like jess says and he remembers every tiny kind gesture towards him.

    Saggi please forgive me, I am now at your posts, but am falling asleep here. need some zzzzzzzzzzzz… ๐Ÿ˜‰

    giving all hugs mia xoxoxox

  1304. #1304 by Jane on March 3, 2010 - 7:29 am

    Mia

    Hey things sounding much more positive!! This guy is seeing you for โ€˜youโ€™ as you said all your sweetness and caring ways toward him, they do not forget. He sounds like he has done what he said and had a real good think of how he is and his behaviour towards peopleโ€ฆYOU! Great, I hope this is a turning point too!

  1305. #1305 by Jess on March 3, 2010 - 11:45 am

    Mia,

    I got to be honest your posts really hypnotize me!!! May be it’s too much details so lose the essence of the whole story. I get lost between your story… so he did take you out in public?! Anyway your last update sounds great! I just really hope that he treat you nice as you deserve it! about the other typical bull symptoms, we all are here for each other to help!

    Peace.

  1306. #1306 by saggi girl on March 3, 2010 - 2:37 pm

    mia,

    Glad that you are happy now as your story really confused me..

    anyways, enjoy your bull…LOL

  1307. #1307 by Jess on March 3, 2010 - 3:35 pm

    Anyone got the same problem like me? It’s getting sooo slow to load for every comment submitting… may be the comment getting way too long now.

    Anyone think we should be moving to a new page/web/blog?

  1308. #1308 by saggi girl on March 3, 2010 - 4:03 pm

    Jess,

    i am ok.. it is a little slow but not tooooo slow as you experienced…

    well, but if you think that we should move to a new page.. i am ok with it too..

    nice to hear from you. Jess

  1309. #1309 by TattooGirl on March 3, 2010 - 4:44 pm

    hi girls
    im so glad i found this website . i must add that i somehow feel connected to you all.

    yes im also in love with a taurus. im a scorpio. my story is i met Guy X through family . at first i wasnt into him cos i thought he was just after sex. im looking for something stable , something called love. after a few months i decided to give him a chance , not sure what i was thinking but anyway lol. im not ashmed to say that we had sex on our first date. wow it was pure magic ! and then sex all the time which i loved …hello i am a scorpio after all. things were great for a few weeks . he took me home to meet his mother and kids (we both divorced) , everybody liked me .

    we had a fall out about three weeks ago . ive been emailing and smsing this guy telling him how much i missed him . no reply . u know i really think that we could be good together but im at the stage now where im not going to run after him. i cant believe that this guy can be so insensitive!!!! why are taurus men like that ????

    some inputs please girls
    take care

  1310. #1310 by Jane on March 3, 2010 - 4:49 pm

    Jess

    Hi, yes I am like saggi a little slow to post but nothing major but happy to move if it helps. I am not a modern tech fan so you wizz kids will have to tell me what I need to do if we move!! Lol donโ€™t laugh!! Hee hee Hope you all ok xx

  1311. #1311 by saggi girl on March 3, 2010 - 4:52 pm

    tatto girl,

    welcome to this site..LOL

    how long you have been seeing each other? why he disappeared? what did you do? were you in fight? how long has he been disappearing?

  1312. #1312 by Jess on March 3, 2010 - 5:03 pm

    Saggi girl,

    Perhaps my period is coming soon, I feel up and down and so mess up in my head keep thinking about my Taurus guy is leaving soon. Today I also think about us here that I want us to keep supporting each other for long long time even any of us might give up and see someone new although not Taurus but we can still help each other, so may be this blog might be too long and not fast enough. I still think that if some day one or all of us will get married, we should let us know. And I think again what if my guy ever find out about this blog (my guy works so much about online business… it’s easy if he ever followed a bit he will figure out it’s about us..) so i don’t know how to delete some of the posts if i ever wanted that.

    You see how much going on in my brain today not to mention about my work and other stuff that going thru my head right now.

    He also text me today suggesting we should spend every weekend together but I can’t do that, its hard already i have to make up excuse to my parents for staying out every 2 weekend… I have not replied him yet and I don’t know how to say. I also don’t know how to make more excuse because I also want to keep my chance in case I can go and join him in Europe for a week or 2….

    Feeing like this I’m pretty sure my period is coming in a day or 2…

  1313. #1313 by Jess on March 3, 2010 - 5:16 pm

    Hi Jane, saggi girl,

    I love so much when we all can chill a bit and relax here talking about Taurus in general and not always about our tragic hahaha! I so remember when i first found this blog, and start converse with saggi…

    Jane: Keep busy and wait, I’m SUPER sure when he is back it’s going to be hot!!! We were there before! You have us as back up!

    You know I live in Asia but i dont want to expose the country here… ok I admit I’m too skeptic if my guy catch you some day but hey you never underestimate Taurus men! Anyway I have hope I can meet you girls in person I dont know we can even make our little Taurus wife club…hahahaha Oh yeah I’m soooo out of my mind today!!!

  1314. #1314 by saggi girl on March 3, 2010 - 5:45 pm

    Jess,

    you are so funny.. i am sure that your period is coming..LOL

    of course, i love to stay as long as i can on this site like how much i want to stay with my taurus.. i think it is not easy to find someone you can talk with without being judged in nowdays. i find the comfort and caring here. It would be really interesting if we can meet someday, actually i came from asia and will be visiting my home country in this July, and do not know how far you are away from me.. LOL

    why you can not spend everyweekend with your taurus? does your family approve of interracial relationship? was that the problem? i think you should let your family know that you are dating… as i informed my family of my status with my taurus, my family does not like it at all and has been trying to talk me into something else… but i was so stubborn sometimes.

    Jess, it would be nice to stay weekend with your taurus especially he is your boyfriend now. you know when you are in a relationship, you need to spend time regularly together, it will be included in routine.. that is the difference between casually dating and serious dating..
    do not worry that your guy will find out this site…was that your real name you used on this site? if so, change to a different name…well, i worried sometimes too as i made a lot of bad comment about my guy especially i mentioned his cheapness..let us cross the finger they will not..

    have a good rest and get ready for your period…LOL

  1315. #1315 by Jane on March 3, 2010 - 5:55 pm

    Jess

    HEE HEE how funny, well I have just read your post and I am laughing and crying at the same time!!! WHY!!!??? Well, earlier when you said about blog slow and should we move I thoughtโ€ฆ.โ€™ah we all like โ€˜sistersโ€™ here, we must stick together somehow!!โ€™ Then now I read your post!! Jess yes, how great โ€˜lil wifey clubโ€™ LOL I do feel real close to you ladies, I mean I do not discuss my situation with many people like here, just two close friends only guy and a girl too.

    You ladies have sooooo helped me keep sane!!! Lol
    I agree that it would be good if we had something quicker to be in touch!! Also yes how good it feels to just chill and talk random about our guys!! Bless us fabulous woman!!

    Jess I am keeping busy, goodness it is hard, he comes back from 4day trip Thursday night and then away again for a week Friday morning, so I am taking saggi advice and not contact him and wait for him, I must say thogh I be disappointed if he makes no contact the whole time especially as he knows I was upset not seeing him before he went. I miss him so much.

    Jess, so your guy has not left for his trip yet? How long is he going? Bless you it will be hard for you, good job we have each other here!!
    Jess when you have said in the past about your parents and having to โ€˜slip awayโ€™ without them asking too many questions, jess I wonder if you parents have some idea anyway, more than you realise, meaning it may not be such a shock that they hear you have a โ€˜boyfriendโ€™ (thatโ€™s what he is now!!!)
    I realise as I remember you saying it is more to do with culture that worries you, sorry if I have that wrong. Jess you and your guy even though you have โ€˜hurdles to climbโ€™ How close you are, I know how difficult it is for you and I suppose at times you wish it accepted and just out in the open. Your guy understands very well, he will support you fully I am sure.

    Goodness, I too wish I could delete some posts coz I am in big trouble if he ever finds this!!! OH NO!! That would be so bad!! lol

  1316. #1316 by Jane on March 3, 2010 - 6:05 pm

    TatooGirl

    Hey tattoo girl welcome,
    My questions are same as saggi girls really, what happened!?

    These guys are strange to say the least!! I take it you have read our posts to know what we been going through!
    We all here to help, so I do hope you ok

  1317. #1317 by Mia on March 4, 2010 - 1:47 am

    Hey guys! Sweet Saggi, Jane, Jess, and welcom TatooGirl,

    I may have an answer to the blog download. I have server access and actually do websites. I should be able to create our blog and give you the link if you’d like! We can think about it, just let me know.

    Things are way better now that I am understanding my guy more.

    The night we went bowling, he was texting to make sure I was coming to bowl. I assured him I would come with my friend. She had a fun time.

    You’d be soooo proud of me as I would sit in a chair away from him, next thing you know, he would sit next to me… I see he is very competitive and I was one point ahead of him, and another girl that was there, said, “Mia, “m” is not liking you are ahead by a point! lol” He just grinned and was so excited when he made the next strike! lol… I just smiled.

    Ironically that night he got three strikes in a row and later I did too! he even pinched me on the rear before we left and he got upset with me for not staying and talking to him… hm, smile.

    Yes Saggi, about your guy getting upset if you do not text him back. I like you allow him to initiate and he accuses me of avoiding him if I do not text or call him back within a certain frame of time. I do think this is endearing, and am aware of it now.

    Last night he was teasing me about me getting a spanking or something and asked when I wanted it…

    I may have said in my earlier post that I expect him to be the perfect gentleman he is and to ask me out on a date… that he knows i am not about FWB ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Oh he responded immediately “sounds good” that my sweet dear ladies is his way of saying “i get it and i’m not about FWB” that was comforting and I knew it all along, but we all know how we can get insecure with our guys…

    he soooooo wanted to see me last night so we met at a store since he and i both needed to go on errands. he helped me, then he wanted to drive my truck on another few errands we did and some of it was getting stuff for when we go camping… yeah we got frisky and saggi I am going to and actually have been holding back some in that department. and now know he does enjoy my company just as much…

    i’m finding my guy is a bit different from some of you, as we both love teasing (he was tickling me last night) and we both are competitive, then our passions run hot like when we wrestle, we both play it cool and suave but we have this wild hot passion that melts us, it’s endearing…

    but i am finding i just tease him back… and am like, “whatever” and he loves that… when i appear calm, non-chalent, but attentive to him, he seems to like that.

    when he thinks i am too “lovey” then he backs off… so i’m learning to give him short answers like he likes, that are not too emotional… besides yesterday, I told him he has a kind heart, he knows i’m always here for him, and i enjoy his company… in other words, in some ways he now knows i do like him alot, but i don’t think i have run him off at all, i think he down deep is loving that and we are on the same page, he just likes to be suave about it you know…

    remember, we are not yet boyfriend / girlfriend, so quite naturally he is not going to “claim” me yet in front of our church friends. we do go out in public, but if we were at different churches, he would not be to the point yet of inviting me to go to church with him you see… now you may understand what i was trying to say… that is why i am not liking going to the same church…

    however, i am learning this. if i do go to church events where he is there? i WILL sit on the opposite side of him, I WILL continue to be nice to him but he will have to come after me, not me him.

    i just am very uncomfortable and am wanting to get on with allowing him to realize his commitment to me as a boyfriend before i immerse myself at the church events.

    3 questions please:
    i’m noticing he is not affectionate unless we are “you know” but he did put his arm around my shoulder and barely leaned in to say goodbye last night… i gave him a quick kiss on the neck and just equaled his hug… but it kinda hurts that he won’t hold my hand, or put his arm around me, i mean NO affection. i think he is unsure and just tickles me and teases me… that is like the stage he is in… ? i do remember he wanted me to reach out to him “sexually” in the movie when we go without his initiating … that is when i said, I wish him to reach out and grab my hand or leg WITHOUT me initating, he said he would, i said i would… hmmmm. what does this mean? i do think he is equating sex with love though… but i need to keep it to “dating” and less “s^^” stuff for him to be more emotional with me… maybe i should go on a trip!! lol

    I should allow him to be the planner of dates… he is already asking me to call the movie theatre to check on times… this should be in his court? i just say oh i did not have time yet? hmmmm…

    the other question is when we camp, he likes for me to send out the email that asks people to come with us camping, now remember we are not a “couple” yet, so he is nice to me, but like when we rode the motorcycles it hurt me deeply when he asked another gal to ride behind him on it…

    i will be yet again highly uncomfortable when we go camping again this year when others from church go with us… he presents us as friends… yet the lady that runs the campground and our friends that work there know us as the couple we are because we love going camping just the two of us too.

    And I DO KNOW that this year, I WILL NOT TAKE separate trucks to camp. IF HE DOES NOT WANT ME TO RIDE IN HIS TRUCK, or for us to BOTH take my truck, then I WILL nicely refuse and say i am busy after all and can’t make it…

    you see, like saggi says, i HAVE to protect my heart here and he can’t take my s** and my heart ANYMORE… so I will nicely back off and ALLOW him to do all the work UNTIL he decides he loves me, or at least claims me as his girlfriend. Otherwise, some guy may sweep me off my feet while he is still deciding.

    it feels like he is riding a fence. he always asks what i’m doing so he can tell no guy has me, and he does expect my commitment to our dating exclusively, but he isn’t willing to completely claim me yet… and it is frustrating sometimes, but i act like i am not ready either… smile…

    mia xoxooxox
    wishing all the best and sending my love and hugs! jane, stay busy and calm with your studies, let him miss you! you are doing great!!! jess, know you are missing your guy too, he will miss you sorely. my guy is going on a trip with his friend and i’m very happy for him (or at least telling him i’m so happy for him and he will have so much fun!!!! smile )

  1318. #1318 by Mia on March 4, 2010 - 2:05 am

    TatooGirl,
    I’m learning the hard way you can’t let them know you like or miss them more than they do you… every time i iniatiate my emotional side to him he runs. you may be moving too fast for him…

    remember, the one thing a taurus man does have that is more healthy than any other side is that he moves very slowly. but the slower you go in a relationship, the more successful that relationship will be.

    i too had s** the first date, and it wasn’t even a date! geez! lol, but we are still together for 9 months now… and we are still not boyfriend / girlfriend, but we are dating exclusively.

    U Take Care too! Mia xoxox

  1319. #1319 by Lioness on March 4, 2010 - 2:52 am

    Mia,
    Am happy you are standing your ground with your taurus sometimes its what you have to do I learned long ago not to contact my taurus and just respond when I wanted to when he contacted me he likes the chase of doing so and when you are contacting him he gets bored I think. I have started to talk to mine again he is down to 2 aliases I think thats a good sign lol slowly dropping them lol His one he told me that he has been thinking about me alot even had a dream about me. He just saw me as going hot and cold on him and he wasnt sure he said everytime I ran he would chase me lol He told me to stop putting up brick walls around my heart and to let him in. He also said to me that if I continued to do so I could miss out on a good thing. He is soo afraid he is going to loose me for some reason. Ever since he moved he has been more clingy and always staying up msging me until I go to bed. On his one name he tells me how in love he is with me and he gets angry if I start to talk about men in general and I was just simply being nice and letting him know whats up in my life. I have noticed he is starting to get more possessive and he told me that he thinks about me all the time. Go figure especially when he is living with someone. I think he is just taking it slow and making sure that everything will be fine he also told me that if he had me there would be no other girls I was it for him and he called me his prize. The funny thing is when I told him that it may be time for me to stop running he told me well then you will have to chase me and if you catch me you get a prize lol So into himself I called him a lady killer and I said no wonder all of these women are after you I told him how funny I thought it was that he could drop them in a second and not think twice. He said to me well you would be suprised as there arent many women flocking to me. Also he said that he doesnt just use a woman and drop her I thought that was considerate. I told him I thought it was thrilling that he did talk to other women and flirted with them and I liked it…. He lets me do my own thing and I let him do his he told me he would put no pressure on him and I told him I would do the same for him. He liked that idea. He loves to talk to me for hours as well he remembers everything I say to him and has it all down. I love this man dearly like no other and I need him as well and I hope one day his heart and mind will be made up and he will stop the games and come running.
    Jess am so glad things are working out for you and you are so right about the online thing I always worry that my taurus man will find out as well they are just so sneaky and always working behind the scenes.
    Jane hang in there your man will come to his senses when he comes back remember absence makes the heart grow fonder and taurus men just dont walk away from a good thing because they never give up and they are soo stubborn.
    Saggi am glad things are going back on track for you your taurus man is in love with you I am most sure of it!!!
    Mia keep up the good work your taurus man will be come around when you least expect it am glad everything is somewhat working out for you and him just try to be patient and only talk to him when he talks to you!!!!
    Tattoo Girl welcome to the site and maybe you should back off some of your taurus man and not contact him maybe then he may realize what a good thing he has with you and come around. I know you feel bad for getting into an argument but if he really cares about you he will come around!

  1320. #1320 by Lioness on March 4, 2010 - 6:42 am

    OMG girls I dont know if I can do this online thing with him anymore its getting too deep for me anymore and all I can think of is that he is living with a woman and talks to me all day long and all night….. You girls are soooo right too these Taurus men dont know the meaning of the word no at all…… He wanted me to send all the pics I had of myself to him and I kept telling him no he has some…. he goes on about how much it hurt him because I wouldnt send them soo selfish…… I dont know what to do about him anymore I dont contact him at all he contacts me everytime I try to distance myself from him he thinks I am not interested and I have 1 foot out the door already….. I dont know what to do anymore I feel like I am in a lost situation and the games are never going to end with him! when I ignored him the other day when I saw him and didnt look at him nor speak to him he tried to bring it up on his alias saying you gonna ignore me again I was thinking to myself wtf but you want to pretend to be some guy named Dave. Seriously girls I dont know how much I can take of this anymore these tests or whatever he is doing IDK. I love this man dearly and I dont know what to do he tells me he loves me everyday and all of this but I dont know what to believe and if its real or not………… I need some sleep will check back later on Goodluck girls and thanks for being here ……………….xoxoxo Lioness

  1321. #1321 by saggi girl on March 4, 2010 - 3:19 pm

    lioness,

    i would suggest that you told him straightly that you do not have time for online chatting.. if he loves you as he claimed, he should at least have the gut to show you but not lure you with his meaningless word but at the same time lives with another woman. I think what he did was cheating if the woman he lives with is his girlfriend…

    sorry about your situation, stop playing the online game with him and go find a real man to spend the real time with but not to spend your time to chat with an unindentified man who lives with another woman…

    if you really want him.. really want him. tell him straight that he needs to leave his girlfriend and started dating you.. but not hide behind bush to play hide and seek.. we are too old for that and it is also not healthy..

    Lioness, you deserve so much better than this.. sorry for my honesty, i can not say the word that i do not mean when it comes to opinion.. i can comfort you with sweet word to make you stay or make you see the gold at the end of the rainbow.. but i just wanted to be sincere to you as a friend.. as we are all here for the honest opinion.

    hugs..

  1322. #1322 by saggi girl on March 4, 2010 - 3:51 pm

    Mia,

    it was so funny you mentioned that he wanted you to initiate affectionate gesture in the movie theatre… It was so cute..mine was just normally put his hand on my leg or look at me with hand open asking for my hand… but sometimes, it was just so hot as my hand got sweaty after holding for a while.. so i normally pull my hand out after a while…

    I think taurus was not affectionate with their word but sometimes was affectionate with their hand. LOL. i do not know if all the taurus are same in regard to the giving affection. but mine likes to hold my hand when we are walking together in public or periodically kissed me either on my cheek or on my lip, or put his arm around me when we were walking.. wow.. too mucn information i gave out..LOL

    Hope it will help.. but as i said that men are different.. you got to watch and find out how he showed his affection.. but one thing for sure is that you can not figure out too much from his word.. as they barely express their feeling especially at the begining..

  1323. #1323 by Jess on March 4, 2010 - 4:31 pm

    Saggi girl,

    My family is very conservative to the extent that we are not allowed to stay a night with boyfriend before marriage… (eventhough I’m in my 30s now….) They also don’t like me to do interacial date especially with Caucasian because they think those men take Asian women for granted. I also dont want my family to know about me dating a guy especially I get a boyfriend otherwise it will be very hard for me to make a trip because they will suspect me making a trip with boyfriend…

    Yes, it is a tough environment for me with so much pressure and depress, it takes an open minded and understandable guy to accept me but my bf know how much I’m so different from my family and will go against them (within a decent boundary) to be with him.

    Saggi girl, let’s keep in touch and when you will go back to your home town let me know, as I often travel around Southeast Asia may be we can arrange to meet!

    I’m having a hard time thinking of excuse to make for this weekend but I’m more inclined not to stay night with him because I want to make another weekend trip before he left to Europe.

    Jane,

    I don’t think my parents would get an idea of me being on a trip with a guy at least they convince themselves not go that far… I’m very stubborn and quite an extreme person and my parents know that very well, they think of me as a party girl because I go out a lot and rarely stay home. It’s against my nature, I’m so restless and too energetic and I need to keep moving to release my energy all the time…. so they think I have busy life with friends and fun and party LOL!

    My guy is now on his business trip for a week and coming back Saturday. But he will be leaving again to his hometown in Europe last week of this month and travel around there for 3 months… it’s going to be hard for me for sure and I’m making plan to see if i can join him like 2 weeks to come back together. I dont know I need to see again.

    Jane, don’t worry. We all know how you feel if you don’t hear from him during his trip. I can’t really explain you these men logic. I’m sure you gonna miss him so bad and feel disappointed if you don’t hear from him. But be prepare for the worse if you don’t hear from him even after he is back from the whole trip!!! Because I gone thru that before!!!! A combination of missing him + disappointed + unstable + flucutaed hormone make me wanted to shout at him a$$hole@$*+%$#!!!!!!! when I knew he got back like a few days already!!!!

    But let’s hope your guy break these bullshit pattern! But if he also fall into this case…. try to calm down and come here to vent with us instead ok?! LOL!

    Will write to the rest of you later, i need to finish some work now.
    Peace n Love!

  1324. #1324 by Jane on March 4, 2010 - 5:20 pm

    Jess

    Hi Jess, yes of course I remember you saying about your guy going away for 3months!! Yes that will be so hard, I remember you saying too how he was going to pay for you to join him, I hope you do that Jess, you must you go out of your mind if you donโ€™t!! Oh and here is me complaining about 2weeks!!
    My guy back tonight then off again in the morning, I donโ€™t expect to see him before he goes again but I will be so disappointed if he doesnโ€™t even text me tonight or in the morning!! I know I must remain calm and not take it personal.

    Hey funny thing is Jess, if all this other way around he for sure would expect daily reports from me I am sure!!! Lol

    I do hope you are ok, so your guy back Saturday until end of month then the 3 months begin!! Bless you both coz of course it be hard on him too.
    I understand about your family situation, respect and all that goes with it. It is such a difficult situation for you and I guess you have to just take things as they come jess.
    Hey I want to come and meet with you and saggi too if you meet in the summer!!!!!!! Oh how great that would be!! Well we must stay in touch I know that for sure!!

    Thank you Jess, I am worried about my guy not making any contact, oh I am busy with my study and work so thatโ€™s ok, but I think it makes me question his feelings for me but I know you are right when you say how their โ€˜logicโ€™ works different!! That is for sure!!!

  1325. #1325 by Jane on March 4, 2010 - 6:06 pm

    Mia

    Hi Mia, well its so funny Taurus guys and affection!!!

    In the very beginning my guy constantly wanted affection, I mean he just had to touch me no matter what!!! He would be driving and every so often put his hand on my knee and I would place mine on his, then he would have to change gear and take his hand away and then put it back!! Lol Ah so funny yet so cute when I think back to that!!

    Then the other week you remember he couldnโ€™t hold my hand sitting across from me at my table!!! He said he not tactile!!! (BULLSHIT!!!) I know he is, then he changed that statement to โ€˜I guess I am outa practiceโ€™!! I think at that time he knew if he held my hand it could lead to other things or even just more of the same and as he keeps sayingโ€ฆ.he not ready!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRR!!!

    Mia, sounds like he at least making plans now with you, hey you just make sure he knows you angle and what you want!!
    Keep up the good workโ€ฆ.x

  1326. #1326 by saggi girl on March 4, 2010 - 6:06 pm

    Jane,

    do not worry too much if he will contact you or not immediately… some part of me for sure that he will contact you as soon as he comes back tonight.. we will see..

    it will be great if we all can meet together in summer and really hope we can let the taurus meet together too… well, it will be a day dream.. i know for sure.LOL

    we will stay in touch…so,Jane, are you in asia too?

  1327. #1327 by saggi girl on March 4, 2010 - 6:11 pm

    hi Jess,

    3 months of apart.. that is too long.. you need to join him in the trip for sure…too long, tooo long.

    you just became boyfriend and girlfriend and you need to go for honeymoon to celebrate for this small success..LOL

    but i also understand that your family situation, sometimes, we do need to make lie to get our way as parents are too protective of us, and sometimes, we feel like being chocked..we need to breath.

    Jess, you are smart, so do whatever you need to do to make it work..you can do it.

  1328. #1328 by Jane on March 4, 2010 - 6:17 pm

    Hey ladies

    I tell you something these Taurus guys got a lot to answer for!!! Since my guy went on trip, well I have eaten, chocolate, cake, biscuits, sweets oh you name it I have eaten it!!!! He will come back and wonโ€™t know who the hell I am!!! Talks about comfort eat!!! AAGHHH!! Scary!!

    Well I havnt been that bad really, but I have noticed a difference coz I donโ€™t usually do that kinda thing!! I do thing my period on its way too!! Oh boy, need to get my exercise regime back on track!!!
    LOL!!

  1329. #1329 by Jane on March 4, 2010 - 6:40 pm

    Saggi girl

    Oh my goodness saggi no I am not in Asia and I am wishing very much that I was!!! How great that would be!! Imagine we all met, oh how funny, if our bulls with us how on earth would we explain how we know eachother!!! LOL LOL!!! I am laughing so much!!!

  1330. #1330 by Jane on March 4, 2010 - 6:44 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hey you never know he may contact tonight, I hope maybe you have a sixth sense here!!! Lol I do hope you are right!!! I will let you know!

    I cant stop thinking of how it would be if we all met, how amazing that would be! Oh well you never know how things can happen!

  1331. #1331 by saggi girl on March 4, 2010 - 6:50 pm

    Jane,

    “Imagine we all met, oh how funny, if our bulls with us how on earth would we explain how we know eachother!!! “” that was really really funny… I laughed out loud in the office and my coworker thought i got a problem with my head.. well, whatever, who cares??

  1332. #1332 by Jess on March 4, 2010 - 7:24 pm

    Saggi girl,

    “it will be great if we all can meet together in summer and really hope we can let the taurus meet together too……”

    WOW you are a step ahead already! That was really beyond any of my imagination!!! LOL!! so wild saggi girl! I’m too scare to think of that picture! LOL! Really doubt we can EVER moved our Taurus to do that?! But for sure they must never know about this website and how we discussed it behind their back hehehe!

    Jane,

    Double Wow if you can join!!! It must be soooo funny and so much fun for sure! Let’s keep our little plan up! (yeah include our bulls wify club hehehe!!!)

    I doubt what planet on earth make us so much fun and crazy like this! May be both you and saggi are having your period soon also…. hehe.

  1333. #1333 by saggi girl on March 4, 2010 - 7:54 pm

    Jess,

    hehehe…little bull wify club, that is the ultimate goal.. well, we are working towards that goal along with the drama, tears and crazines along the way…we are the bull fighters.LOL

  1334. #1334 by Jane on March 4, 2010 - 9:04 pm

    Saggi girl, Jess

    LOL LOL oh I am laughing out loud too saggi!! I am imagining us meeting and introducing eachother!! OMG HOW FUNNY!! I would just love to see our bulls faces!! They would be shocked but hey Jess, for sure they can NEVER find out about this site!! That would be it coz there would be no more WIFEY CLUB!!!! Hee hee.

    Well ladies I must tell you I am having a weak moment! I am so tempted to text him coz I think really deep down I thought as he be back now, tht he would have text me to see how I was before his flight in the morning!?
    I keep remembering that it best to leave him to contact then I think how insecure he is and that he may be waiting or me to contact!! Oh saggi jess, I am being crazy I know! Sorry to go on here Jess especially as you have such a long trip ahea of you that you have to deal with.
    He must not have even given me a thought, he in holiday mode and thatโ€™s that!!!! OH BOY!!!

  1335. #1335 by Mia on March 5, 2010 - 3:48 am

    Lioness,
    Thank you for your kind words! You, Saggi, Jane, Jess comfort me more than you can ever know!!!!!

    I do agree with Saggi, it is killing you I know, and I do not know how I could hold up… soooo sorry for you and it is easier said than done… I totally agree with Saggi’s ‘stand up for yourself’ premise, but do understand when push comes to shove, you can “nicely” pull back…

    I finally could NOT stand it anymore with my bull… remember I just could not stomach anymore with him and this gal pal and I finally had to say to myself I will have to risk loosing him because no matter how a taurus acts, my values are you don’t go and ask another gal out and pick her up and go somewhere just the two of you even if you are just friends if you are asking to exclusively date me… just as I would not do that to you… it can be misconstrued and I wasn’t trying to change him. I was telling him I bow out and you go on…

    he explained himself and I finally said (we were messaging) whether this was the right thing or not ladies, I finally said, if you wish to date me, then I date you, you date me, i don’t ask a guy to go places with me and pick him up, you don’t ask a gal to go places and pick her up, we are exclusive for now … he was fine with it.

    now, bible study was tonight. he did not ask me if i was going. my friend is there and she called me trying to find the place, i asked if she saw his truck there, she said yes. i did text him earlier tonight telling him about a sport team i’m getting together and he wishes to be on… he did not text me back. quite unusual for him. but we have been texting today about this same subject and he has been extremely attentive texting me as usual within ONE minute. yup. at least i have that down, geez. except for the last one.

    please give me faith and hope girls as i am so afraid he is there sitting next to his gal pal again talking with her all night long… i could ask my friend when she gets back but i don’t EVEN want to know. even after i told him my feelings, this past sunday i told you he was teasing her throwing his straw paper that came off his straw from his drink, and conversing with the new gal the whole time too… again, i’m like i’m done with this. it is killing me here when he is dating me, and he cannot CANNOT single me out and tell me how nice it is to see me, or ask me to be in conversation with them… i got up and left early at that restaurant sunday…

    then last night, we spend all night together on errands. geez. and he was sooooo frisky with me..

    on the affection thingee… he kept his hands to himself until we were frisky then he ran his hand along my back…. but that was it.. it’s okay, he just hasn’t felt too much emotion for me yet.

    i am so going to back off s**ally with him… that is the only way i am afraid i can get to his heart.

    i am so afraid i am going to loose him and scared i have blown it with allowing him to be so se***al with me….

    i found this:
    http://ezinearticles.com/?Make-Him-Explode-With-Desire-For-You&id=2185938

    she is great. but she also says to keep him at arms length in the se* department and you will have his heart… i so don’t want to blow it with him… i love him dearly as you do your sweet taurus (stubborn ๐Ÿ™‚ men… ๐Ÿ™‚

    mia xoxoxo

  1336. #1336 by Lioness on March 5, 2010 - 6:15 am

    Thankyou Mia and Saggi for giving me the good advice,
    Mia am so sorry that things are looking down hopefully they will get better. My taurus I have gathered only talks to me because he is missing the emotional part of the relationship with her. So he comes to me for that he was getting too close again and I told him I needed something real and not this internet thing going on so after tonight I am done with yahoo…. I did talk to my taurus man all day today on 2 aliases one for around 3 1.2 hours and the other one throughout the day and he wouldnt let me go much longer than an hour to not talk to him. After I told his one personality I need something real he said he respects that and will go along w whatever I decide. He then wrote I am sorry on his status on yahoo. I feel like he may really love me but I need to walk away I am not going to be the woman he runs to when him and his new live in will break up because it is inevitable esp if he is coming to me for emotional things. His last gf he got serious w he was w her for about 4 months she was a taurus herself and he cut contact with me totally took me off his myspace page and everything just so she wouldnt get jealous. Their relationship didnt last long but he seemed like he was more into her than this one. Even tho he is living with her. So I am stopping all communication am hoping he will see what he is missing out on and etc. He told me today that we are friends with the possibility for more and that if we never did get together he was glad I came into his life. He started going on about trust issues as well so am not sure what all of that is about. I know he is big on that he also started calling himself my man lol. This really is tearing me up because I love to talk to him and he makes me feel so much better but I cant do the online thing anymore and stare at a computer anymore I need something real. Heres to wishful thinking that he will come around he also thanked me for being so patient with him and said he was lucky I still talked to him. So we shall see am not sure if I should leave him a msg or just cut all communication yet he thought today I was trying to get rid of him and not interested in him at all……… but thanks girls for being here x0x0 lioness

  1337. #1337 by Mia on March 5, 2010 - 6:43 am

    Lioness, I see your post, oh things are actually very well with us!!! i know i seem down, just can get frustrated and as a whole i am so wanting us to work out… but overall, oh we are super! i so can’t complain. hey he is with me and wants to date me. so i’m very very blessed:) you hang in there. you do what your instinct tells you. but remember you are so not his leftovers. you are a princess! i am trying to tell myself that too!

    from now on lioness, u need to tell urself that u will only entertain the thought of a man pursuing you that is NOT attached to anyone, someone that is available to dating. i know that is hard, but that is how you earn respect for yourself. you are so gorgeous ANY man should be priviledged in order to date you! i am having to learn step by step how to do this myself so my guy will start to treat me as a princess (soon) or at least in a respectful manner;) but it starts and ends with you and your principles for yourself.

    here is my last note for the night i was writing.. all in all, we are doing very well… we just tease each other! lol… but i want to keep in my mind, i am blessed with him in my life, but am equally blessed if he goes out of my life. with that attitude, my happiness is within my spirit and guys are looking for this goldmine of a gal, but more importantly, i (us gals) need to remember that he is my friend, and if he wants more than friendship, he needs (and wants!) to do 100% of the work, that is the guy for you! just bite your tongue, hold off helping ur guy, smile and allow him to do for you ๐Ÿ™‚
    ____________________________

    Hey gals,

    I am noticing one thing… It seems that all of your taurus men have indeed established an emotional connection to you, meaning that they have indicated their falling for you by their words of affection to you and their actions. Saggi, you say not to go by their words but their actions. Mine called me “sweetie” just once in nine months. that was before we were intimate.

    he has only emailed or called me on a “friend” type basis to gather info from me, and i am noticing that each time he is with me, there is s** involved somehow…

    in other words, i feel for sure that he has no desire to take me out to “please” me, you know to a restaurant, to make sure i have a good time, to court me. i do not feel that at all. i just feel he thinks of me as a friend, that he can hang out with and get s**. I can tell him I’m not about that day and nite, but unless I gently encourage him to date me properly I shall loose him and feel I have already lost his respect in many ways…

    he did not text me back, yes i am disappointed, but now I am thinking he may be perturbed that I did not get an email out about the sports team to a group earlier in day… hm, that could be it. sometimes when he gets ‘bothered’ at what i do or don’t do to his taste, he will not respond. i know he probably wanted me to get the email out sooner, but i was busy at work and could not, oh well, i will not jump to conclusions.

    Jane, hang in there and it DOES NOT MATTER whether he contacts you or not, YOU HAVE US and know he is an idiot if he does not!!!!!!!!!! smile… okay, so a cute idiot but we have to think like this!!!!

    i have to think like this! Jess, Saggi, Jane, i am wanting MINE to like me way more than i like him! it is bad cuz I LOVE him and I’m not sure he is halfway liking me, lol… i so do not want to loose him and i want to be doing all i can on my end to instill an emotional connection from him.

    From everything i have read, i need to cut way back on the s** department, i am just scared if i start to back off, he will leave me. they say if they love you in the long run, they will not back off if you refrain or cut back with s**. they even say to just steer it completely to dating, and not accepting all dates but to tell him you are totally busy on some weekends. that way he can grow to miss you and grow to miss your closeness and have a chance to long for you. when they long for you, the emotional attachment gets stronger.

    so Jane, and Jess, that is actually great for you. I know it is killing you! and Jess you do need to go to yours, and for sure stay in regular contact with him those 3 months and seeing him sometime (s) within that period. So sorry for your family situation. i had that problem 2 ex-guys ago… it was very stressful, and i am sending you soft hugs for all the stress you must be under, we are here for you.

    Saggi, Jane, Jess, it would be cool to see you guys. i may be getting over to asia perhaps but not in the near future:) between there and the states perhaps we could see about this sometime! so cool.

    I feel a bit sad:( and guilty too .. as i am upset and kind of shocked over him not texting me back just to let me know he got it, just is not like him.. especially when it was a fact type message, to the point, not hey how are ya… hm. my friend told me that the gal pal was not there at the bible study… and even more reason to give me a quick text back…

    my guilt comes from me acting sad over this text when jane, you are waiting to hear from urs and jess, you wont see yours for awhile, so sorry… i need to be saying, ‘forget him, he needs to be pulling from me and i am too accomodating here. with my texts, my availability, my thoughts yesterday about how i will always be there for him, blah blah… you see, my problem is i am letting him know how i feel about him before he is letting me know how he feels about me. this is a relationship killer… the other is the s** part.. odds are very much against me, now that we have been intimate without him establishing an emotional connection with me first, i am terrified on that too…

    i may get that ebook, yup, it costs, stop laughing i hear you saggi, jess and jane! lollllllllllll… really it has so much truth! lol, okay so i do go for the ebooks, but most are really insightful… and i am not naturally strong and smart with my taurus like you are and want to learn as much as possible so i can have my guy drooling for me (er, well, you know what i mean, lol) and i so want him to fall in love with me…

    lastly, i think i did tell you my last guy was a taurus and he was toward the end of taurus and he was love struck from the first time he laid eyes on me…. he took me the very same day and got me chocolates, held my hand, was courting me, very affectionate and complimentary and we were intimate the first date, he was precious, and still was very much a gentleman for two years… so they are very different… so now i am finally over him, and the one i am with now is a guy that i am floored is attracted to me, he is gorgeous and i have always wanted a guy that dresses like him, he’s so perfect, i am so smitten, yet he treats me no more than just a friend in most ways. i know he must have commitment issues but is telling me this is not FWB, but it still appears that way to me…
    except for when we do things like errands, and the night he took me to church and to an event, we were intimate but that was over 5 hours before church and the event, if he was just FWB, he would not have gone to the trouble i don’t think…

    tomorrow we are “supposed” to go out… again jess, when we first met, he would have already confirmed, but now he is to the point where he will contact me just one hour before we are to go out by asking me what i am doing…. yup… he does that. we plan for a movie, then he tends to forget what the date is and will ask sometimes about the time we would be going out “what am i doing?” like i have forgotten we were to go out? hm? i normally just play along and then he will ask if i want to do something… lol, geez. otherwise, he may not contact me at all. if he does not, again, it will be hard for me to want to go out with him again… i knew i should not have gone out with him last night. we met for running errands together, and that probably spoiled me getting to go with him tomorrow nite… ? i will let you know how it goes…

    thanks for your hugs and support always. saggi, jess, jane, lioness all of you are precious and i am just tired… need some zzzz

    mia xoxoxo

    sending happy thoughts despite to all you beautiful precious gals… jane, remember, he likes you way more than you like him! smile… okay, you can be like me and pretend! i am going to try to act this way, so if that is the case, he is thinking of you constantly! (i hope mine is too!) but we can do this! i won’t contact mine again until he contacts me, we will do this together:) in the long run i have to establish these things that kill me now but ultimately draw him helplessly in love as with yours too!

  1338. #1338 by Lioness on March 5, 2010 - 7:06 am

    Thankyou Mia for your kind words, and I never was intending to get with him anyways when he had a girlfriend. I am not like that and that is why I am distancing myself now I dont want to be the fall back girl and am definately going to be the other woman or keep hearing these stories he makes up I dont need it anymore and he can have at it with this lady and her kids. I know deep in my heart he is making a mistake and its not going to work out between them at all. Especially when he thinks of me and dreams of me and is coming to me to talk to I dont go to him usually unless I think of him and that was 1st time I did that in months. one of his names says he loves me the other one tells me he wants to be friends with the options of more and then he goes on to say I am so full of it sometimes. Well we shall see what happens am hoping he will think of me enough to do something about his situation which I know he probably wont and it is just wishful thinking! Goodnight ladies need to go lay down am getting a migraine! Lioness

  1339. #1339 by Jane on March 5, 2010 - 7:37 am

    Mia

    Hi Mia, I do hope you are feeling better, bless you I think like Lioness I was thinking reading your post that things had gone bad between you and your guy!! I think sometimes I get mixed up in your flow, but I follow best I can ok!!?

    Mia, I laughed when you said โ€˜ebookโ€™ I have never read it but I am reading a book at the moment that has stated something very interesting!!!
    I donโ€™t know if you do this at all with your guy but I certainly do with mine!!!!!

    Basically about women in relationships and how we behave with our men and its all about are need to be loved ext (bit extreme but true in places!)
    โ€˜filling in emotional blanks in relationshipsโ€™ it explains how it so easy for women to plan dates, lets go here lets go there, so, When can we meet? Where should we go?
    When your next off work lets go here, even initiating kisses, cuddles sex, whatever. These are tiny examples of us โ€˜filling in the gapsโ€™ by doing that we prevent the guy โ€˜playing his part in the relationshipโ€™ he becomes ascent and we running things alone!! Sound familiar???? Does to me!!
    Picture thisโ€ฆโ€ฆYou are in a rowing boat with your guy, you in front, him behind, rowing across a lake, all of a sudden your arms start to ache and you need a rest so you decide to stop, you turn around only to find your guy not even there, or he asleep and all this time you have been rowing alone!!!! โ€˜filling in the blanksโ€™ of the relationship. The guy is only absent coz we do that much that he has no part to play anymore. It goes on to say that by โ€˜refusing to rowโ€™ you not only allow the guy a heathier place in the relationship, you feel happier and it becomes more evenly balanced.
    Guys love it at first, sitting back doing nothing and we love it at first too coz we get results, thatโ€™s until resentment sets in and changes things.
    There are risks involved by โ€˜stop rowingโ€™ coz 1 of 2 things will happen, either the guy will sit up take notice and get himself more actively involved by asking you out, initiating ect or the relationship will break down coz he didnโ€™t want to โ€˜row with you anywayโ€™.
    So Mia, I know I have done that many times thinking if I donโ€™t we will never go anywhere,do anything, plan things ect. We need to step back and give him a chance to do some rowing for a change!!!
    I must admit, I am feeling really hurt that I havnt had a text off my guy, nothing which to me makes it harder to contact when he returns. I would not be surprised if he thinking, โ€˜she hasnโ€™t even text meโ€™!!! Typical!!!

    Mia, be strong and yes you must stop the sxx with him you say you worried he will leave you, would you really want him anyway if he only wants you for sxx!!!???
    No, you wouldnโ€™t, you deserve more from him and you know it, so go and get it!!!

  1340. #1340 by Mia on March 5, 2010 - 11:15 am

    Lioness, thanks and oh yes I knew you are not that kind of gal, i was referring to your messaging with him. i just don’t like seeing you hurt. get some rest!! i need to too!

    Jane! Jane!

    oh yes, we are good! lol, i don’t want anyone to get the impression we are not on good terms, yes we are doing fine for now! oh very fine, but i guess i am feeling alittle sad because i gave into him yesterday. Yup, I was “rowing that boat” yesterday and I was feeling bad when he shared his feelings with me and instead of just listening and that is all…. i did something stupid and offered my support by telling him that he may have a few issues with trust and i do too… and that he may be going through some hard times… something like that. and that i am too… i like to make people feel better and that is so bad of me with him… he was nice about it though, cuz normally he would get mad at me, he just wrote back and said, he is not going thru hard times, has no trust issues, not that…

    then i felt bad and i tried to make up for it… this is a good thing jane… ๐Ÿ˜‰ i texted him and said something like, okay already, geez, i guess you can spank me for not just listening to you when u shared with me, i am going to just listen to you from now on, and not offer anything but my support for you… so whatever, u. (lol, we tease each other you know) he said, when? when do you want your spanking? i just teased, you are not serious are you? geez. lol.. and then that is when we met last night and he helped me with some tech stuff i needed and we went and got some camping stuff for when we go camping… this was his idea to meet, not mine.. he just said when are you going to go to the store, i said i am on my way, he said i will meet you there. i said thanks for your help… then he got frisky with me…

    so i don’t want you to think he is ONLY about s** and no other part of relationship, i am just saying we have companionship, we soooo enjoy each other immensely, just watching T.V. together (but he is on far end of couch, lol) and we have a wii game we play together now and it’s like our game which is cool… so we do spend a lot of time with no s** but when we have the s** it is with such passion, and he is kissing so full mouth now which means it is getting more emotional to him.. but i guess i am ready for him to stop treating me like “buddy friend sexy buddy” and to start treating me in a more caring way. i don’t think he is going to be the type to “wine and dine” me, that isn’t him, but i can tell when he is stumbling over himself to get to me like before we had s** at the beginning, sooooo attentive to me, vs acting like he has me in his back pocket and feeling him slacking because i am no more of a challenge to him… i just wish he did not know exactly how i feel, but i am pretty non-chalent with him Jane. my problem is i need to start giving the rest of my life equal and a bit more emphasis than him ๐Ÿ˜‰

    i do know the book you speak of and of course i have it! lol, i love it… it is about getting the love you deserve and to stop rowing the boat and stop filling in the emotional blanks, oh yes, i know! you see, i think we do that more with guys we are totally smitten with vs the guys that have come into our lives that we were like “ah u are nice” (with those guys that was my ex taurus and ex husband, they just about liked me more than i liked them… you see that is the perfect balance naturally) with my guy from 5 years and this one now, i am more smitten with him than he is with me, so yup, my aura is filling in the emotional gaps even though i would say ‘no’… again, my barometer is that i am liking him more than he is me. i am not initiating so much but i am a bit too receptive and available.

    the reason i think stuff about the s** is i realize i am sending him a message, “you do not have to work too hard to get intimate with me, you don’t have to take me out, spend money on me, spend time with me, even act like you like me more than a friend and i will be totally vulnerable to you in a s**ual way.” that is the message i am sending to him? oh my, i am an idiot… i need to slow way down, but yes i am afraid jane,

    ahhhhh!!!! i just realized something here…

    remember when i told you that i also liked my 5 yr guy more? guess what? he was very s**ual with me too, and although we did other things, i was way too available, even moreso just like the book you are reading… and he slowly faded away just like the book, it was excruciating. i feel this one going exactly that direction if i do not make it more of a challenge for him to vie for my time, companionship, and attention.

    i am just afraid of loosing him like i was so afraid of loosing my 5 year guy. when it did happen with the 5 year guy, i got what i was afraid of… i was concentrating on it so much that i eventually got what i was afraid of… i will start to pull back and tell him i need to go slow…

    i read tonight, men want to fight to break through to you to convince you he is the man for you. We need to set the pace. The guy really wants to see that we do not give in so easy and that he may have to move mountains to get to us…

    Remember when you see the man that proudly says, “Why i had to ask ‘ethel’ 50 times to marry me before she finally said ‘yes’ ” … lolllllllllllll you get what i mean. i need to be more feisty and not so agreeable and available…

    please help me with ideas jane! know you are upset about him not texting. and i do know how it feels with every passing moment you are fuming and you are thinking by the time he does send a note, you don’t even want to answer.. that if he had just caught me early in his trip, that would have made all the difference. and i would not have so much resentment built up for you now… now i am not so much wanting you to have a great trip. but try to sound very happy for him when you do hear from him…. if he know his going away bothers you much:)
    mia xoxoxoxo

    hugs for you jane!!!!!!!!

  1341. #1341 by Jess on March 5, 2010 - 11:42 am

    Mia,

    You know exactly what you have to do (stop having sex completely with him that is!!!), you just need to get that courage to do so…

    You have our support here and we pray for you to be strong and able to resist him for your own good Mia.

  1342. #1342 by Jane on March 5, 2010 - 3:09 pm

    Mia

    Hi Mia, YES YES you must stop the sex, you want this guy to prove he wants โ€˜youโ€™, all of you and the best way to know that for sure is, withhold sex, see how he is with you. Of course the risk is he may walk away but would you really want a guy who did that!!??

    From all you say about who he is, then I would not think he would walk away and that he would respect you enough to know where you coming from with this and why you feel you needing to do it.

    You want him to see all the other wonderful things about you. You said your relationship is more than sex, then if that is true (only you know that) then fear on your part should not come in to it coz you would feel in your heart it wont make a difference and that you trust your instinct.
    Bottom line is, if he walks away Mia coz you withhold sex, then he just does not deserve you. Deep down you know that!

    As for ideas well, you donโ€™t wont to be doing too much โ€˜rowingโ€™ on your own so suggest to him you meet, go somewhere, do something and when he says where and do what ? You could replyโ€ฆ Hey honey, why donโ€™t you surprise me that would be lovelyโ€™.
    Then you give him the message that you trust him to make the plan (Taurus and control!)and you are giving him a chance to โ€˜do some rowingโ€™!!! You will then know that he investing his time in you.

    I would say because your relationship has involved sex with him then it may be a good idea to talk to him about why you doing things a little different coz he may just think something wrong and you gone off him or something, explain you just shifting the balance a little (Donโ€™t say like that coz he wont know what you mean!!) and get to know eachother properly. Oh of course donโ€™t be to graphic in you explanation coz he wont have a single clue what you going on about!!! Lol keep it simple. You will sort it for sure!!

    I am feeling ok really about my guy not texting, well disappointed yes, but I am realising how โ€˜one tracked mindedโ€™ these guys can be, oh yeah he probably thinking about me but wont see the point in texting me, after all he on holiday so will not seem relevant to him. As this is the first time I have been in this position and especially even with him that I wasnโ€™t sure how to be or how he would be, as saggi and jess said I am better waiting for him to contact me, I guess he more likely to be thinking of me if I am not in touch!! Ohh I miss him so much!!!

    Chin up Mia, you know your โ€˜worthโ€™, just be a 100% he knows it too that way you will feel better. Good luck x

  1343. #1343 by Mia on March 5, 2010 - 4:16 pm

    Jess! Jane!

    He has already asked me out for tonight BUT I do want to go…

    I have a feeling you will tell me NO!

    He is asking me out to a casino for a free nite there…

    he has a free nite and since he works close he does not want to drive back to pick me up, i can understand that… he is saying i can meet him at his work and we go from there.

    i said i am not sure… ( he asked me to call him when i had a free moment and i did and he needs my answer soon)

    he said he WILL NOT go if i do not go with him. HE SAYS HE DOES NOT want to go by himself…

    hm… yes you know s** will be involved, and truly i do want to go… maybe i can go this once last time with him and then slowly let go of the s** to see his true intentions…

    please let me know your thoughts, we do have a great time together and he isn’t like a s** machine, lol, it is that we go and have a good time and do not get back to the room until late….

    i really do want to go….

    what are your thoughts. mine is to go this once and then i will start my holding back s** plan and start to steer him into more of a gentleman with me… if he finds he truly does love my company without the s** too, then we may have something… i think he does… but until i back off i know he will never truly see me as a woman he wants to be serious with?

    but i do want to go…
    thank you!
    mia xoxoxox

  1344. #1344 by Jess on March 5, 2010 - 4:40 pm

    เน‰hahaha Mia oh Mia!!!

    What can I say ?!!

    You already decided for yourself and even try to convince us all to your way and approve it! LOL. I’m not sure whether I should give you a blessing or a curse on this one!!! LOL (pun intended)

    Now I’m worried about you Mia, as you really are so much into him, if you can withdraw anything at all from him…. Really Mia, whatever you decide I wish you strength and you know you always have our support here.

    Jane,

    It’s ok that you feel disappointed just be careful disappointment can pile up and lead to drama. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Talk about disappointment, my guy said before he left for a business trip this time that he will TRY to connect during the time that he knew I always connect but text him if i need him in urgent. Well he has been gone for almost a week and is coming back tomorrow but I can’t see at anywhere any day of how he ‘TRY’ to connect…. except leaving a message here and there…you tell me about disappointment! LOL.!

  1345. #1345 by saggi girl on March 5, 2010 - 5:00 pm

    Mia,

    you are so something.. well, if you really want to go, then just go, but be careful of not being hurt. take care of yourself..

    with blessing…

  1346. #1346 by Mia on March 5, 2010 - 5:08 pm

    yeah jane, jess,

    i got to think here.

    this man can’t ask me out to eat but can ask me out to a free room at a casino… hm.

    i went with him before and it was fun, but during the night, after s** he rolls over and goes to sleep, yup, “0” cuddling … no spooning, maybe tonight i have no idea… sometimes he surprises me with his feelings, because just 1 month ago, he was telling me to be careful in snow, that is so unlike him.

    i told him, i did think we had spoke about the drive in movie, and he said he just got this in the mail yesterday. he called last night, it was probably late when he called and he was anxious about hearing from me this morning, but again asking me to go halfway, i have trained him i will go more than halfway for a relationship with him. part of this is taurus i know how perfectly practical they are…

    this is good through this month but he wants to go on and use it i do understand that it is going to get very busy next couple weeks if we do the softball, don’t have a problem with the timing as this came up.

    he gets a free room, free meal, free vouchers to gamble and a gorgeous beautiful gal to enjoy this with with free s**!!! wow!

    what do i get? hm, i get to meet him halfway, ask off from work, pay for myself to gamble… free s** with probably no cuddling afterwards… hmmmm.. lol

    i know i know… but i still want to go… i will think on it. he needs an answer soon.. thanks mia xoxoxox

  1347. #1347 by saggi girl on March 5, 2010 - 5:09 pm

    i think something is wrong with me..i used to be a very independent minded person and always makes my own decision when it comes to something that i like or dislike.. but last night.. i told my guy i ordered the cable for my own place that i just recently moved into.. then he said” why you do that?” then i was like” well, i wanted to watch TV..you know there are so many drama channels..” then he was like” i know that. but you are going to have a test coming up in a few months. you were so into these TV programs when you stayed with your roomate, who has cable program. i remembered that you said that your roomate reminded you not to watch too much TV when you should be concentrating on your exam.. but you can not resist.. well, you failed the test last time.. you are taking one more time in a few months.. but you ordered the cable.. watching TV is just wasting time and you should study and read.. then you can learn a lot from it but not TV..” then he also said” i am not trying to make you listen to me, as it is your place.. but i do not think it is a smart decision..”

    well, i was so disappointed as i was so excited to tell him last night when he called.. and thought he likes to watch the history channel too….but but.. sigh.. ah.

    I told him that i am going to cancel it before it will be installed tomorrow.. then i woke up this morning and cancel the order.. i felt a little bad about myself now.. whatever he said affected my decision..

    did i lose myself????

  1348. #1348 by Jane on March 5, 2010 - 5:16 pm

    Mia

    Bless you Mia, I am with jess on this one!!!

    Nothing more to say as you decided already!!??? Lol
    The thing is you will in the end do what you feel you must do, Hey just thinkingโ€ฆmaybe it you who the sex machine!!!! LOL Not Taurus!! How funny!!!!

    I laugh when you say โ€˜maybe just this one last timeโ€™ before withdrawing from him, you are so cute!!
    Like jess said Mia you must decide this for yourself and if you in two minds then just see how he is, just donโ€™t attempt to withhold and then let him have it coz he will just not take you seriously when you do mean it!! It is difficult when you feel about him as you do to then try and change things, especially when you loving all the sexing up you both do!!
    Take care of โ€˜youโ€™ Mia, enjoy your evening with your Taurus!

    Jess

    Hi yes I realise how things can build up in a disappointed head!! Lol
    I โ€˜thinkโ€™ I am starting to feel ok with it, I would just like to check my reason for that though with you Jess, you see what I am thinking is, (I said it above too) he will be thinking I am sure that as he on holiday he may not see the need to be in touch with me, meaning what would the point be!!?? (you know how practical/logical these guys are) here is me wishing he send me a nice little โ€˜hey babes how you doingโ€™ and he so far away maybe he doesnโ€™t want to know how I am doing coz he cant do anything about it anyway!! Jess maybe I am just trying to make myself feel better here!!??

    You say your guy, left a message here and there, but not connect with you. I am not sure what you mean? Is it he left messages but has not spoke to you verbally?
    Will you be seeing him tomorrow and does he contact you when he first gets back? I know you said it was 2 days a time ago before he contact when he got back!! But hey Jess, you his lady now, girlfriend!!!! Lol That I am sure will make all the difference to him.

  1349. #1349 by Jane on March 5, 2010 - 5:33 pm

    Saggi girl

    Ah how sweet you are, I donโ€™t mean to make fun but I laughed a little at what you said because I thought it was going to be a big DRAMA thing you did!!!
    Hey it sounds very much that your Taurus is just looking out or you (Mr Practical!) and reminding you how engrossed in tv you got last time before exam!! He did say he wasnโ€™t trying to make you listen to him so it probably be he wants you do do well in your exam and not have too many distractions.

    You being so excited to tell him about it is probably why you feel โ€˜you lost yourselfโ€™ coz you took his advice and listened to him, maybe deep down you know he is right on this one!!!
    Could you get cable when your exam over!!??? Something to look forward to and you can catch up on channels you like then!! Saggi girl you are so funny when you say that way hee hee
    I understand though why you would feel that way and I donโ€™t think you lost yourself just because you took his advise, that is just my view of course!

  1350. #1350 by TattooGirl on March 5, 2010 - 5:57 pm

    hi girls
    wow it takes so long to scroll to the bottom of the page just to reply lol.

    guy x and i have known each other for about 8 months but started seeing each other im early jan this year. ok so i got upset with him cos he is so cold . i want a guy to meet me on an emotional level and he doesnt . yes im still a sucker for punsihment , i still like him.

    anyway we spoke like night – he says that he wants me but is too afraid to get hurt . i understand where hes coming from but hello who on earth is he going to know if this will work out or not if hes not willing to take the risk and gives us a chance. while i was telling him how i feel he was nothing but cold towards me and got upset when i said that he has faults as well . im a scorpio , we damn direct hey . so he said goodbye . i was so so upset with him i sent him a text saying that im walking away so i had enough .

    i truly have had enough .as much as i like this guy i also love myself and im not going to compromise my feelings at all. we havent spoken today , yes i miss him but u know what he doesnt deserve my love .

    did you guys find another site where u chat as this one is a bit slow ?

    hope u girls enjoy the weekend . i will be working so wont be on much .

    take care

  1351. #1351 by saggi girl on March 5, 2010 - 6:15 pm

    Jane,

    thanks for your words, i am glad that you did not feel that i lost myself for cancelling right away after he did not approve of what i was doing…

    He was sick since Monday, so we did not talk much on the phone last night..i told him that i missed him and he said he did too..but the conversation was very short for only like 10 minutes.. actually i felt into sleep already and then was waken up by his call..

    he said that he was very tired and worked his ass off…wanted to go to sleep.. but he sounds not very patient with me last night.. especially when i mentioned this cable thing, it sounds to me that he thinks that i did not make a right decision..then he told me that he will see me this weekend…

    I don’t know, it seems that he was supervising me all the time..it makes me nervous..

  1352. #1352 by Mia on March 5, 2010 - 6:45 pm

    okay, truth comes out gals,

    i just get this email about it being a beautiful day from the new gal at church…

    she is saying, lets all take a beautiful walk tomorrow for hiking and walking about the park. if you are interested then call “m” and yup it is my guy…

    so she was NOT at bible study last night… do you see? i just asked my guy if he would pitch with me this weekend, and he said yeah but we still don’t know if we have enough to make a team. my heat is out and he didn’t ask nothing about it.

    i am about to cry… but not until i call him.

    yeah jane, it is not about the s**, as you can see with me it is that i am wanting his affection so bad that when he touches me i liken it to affection it is sad i know.

    i am going to call him.

    i do not want to scare him away, but i may, so i may be done here.

    i do NOT LIKEN when a guy uses me, and i actually have NEVER had a guy take advantage of me, my body, nothing so you see this is totally foreign to me.

    he is beginning to truly hurt me, and i don’t realize how my emotions are running until this happens. the email killed me.

    it is killing me here. i am going to ask him why he wanted to get back with me at christmas.. i so want to ask him why he considers us exclusive? this is not my idea of exclusive, by asking me out, then getting with single women and church and hooking up with them in any way shape or form and totally separating me from this…

    you see jane, i do see and i do not want to admit it.

    if he truly wanted to be with me, he would want to be with me hiking he would want to get with me to send out the email, he would not be so eager to go out after church to eat without me then when he sees i show up avoid me and flirt with the other two gals in front of my face.

    this is becoming a joke and i feel like a fool. i am almost insulted, no i am.

    i am calling him now.

    mia xoxox

    so sorry i can’t wrap my heart around your other posts. saggi he loves taking care of you. consider it a honor i promise, my last guy was like that he isn’t insulting you about the cable. he loves you i so wish my guy had the character of your guys.

    thanks xoxoxox

  1353. #1353 by Jane on March 5, 2010 - 7:00 pm

    TatooGirl

    Hi, it sounds like you really like this guy and you must know this for him to tell you he likes you and open up to you like that I would be a lot for him to do, especially being a Taurus!!
    They have to be 100% sure about you before they โ€˜reallyโ€™ open up. You say you wont him more on emotional level; let me tell you after only 9months you are asking a lot!!
    They are sooooo slow, cautious, especially when it comes to relationships. If you have read all our posts here you will know PATIENCE that is the only way, he has to see you consistent in your approach, he has to trust you too, oh yes, its all about them!!

    I have been here with my frustrations many times like we all have, if you really want to be with him, you have to study him like he study you, get to really know him you will then feel better as you understand him more. Good luck, we are all here for eachother, they really test your patience for sure!!!!

  1354. #1354 by FullC on March 5, 2010 - 7:04 pm

    Hi all.. I’ve been following this blog for about 4 months now and finally decided to join in.
    Everyones experience, advice, and support to eachother is such motivation I really try to apply it to myself but it hasn’t been going too well…
    I met my bull 7 months ago. Like most of you, it was steamy for the first few weeks, then the dissapearence startes. After I backed off he called me 3 weekends in a row and I thought I was finally seeing results. Then Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and Valentine’s came and went. It was always me texting/calling to meet up. He is a workaholic and saw eachother once a week if I was lucky.
    When we are together, its so much fun and I feel he’s totally into me, but after he leaves, its like I dont exist.
    He recently quit his job and is waiting to get his greencard to open his buisness, but its not going smoothly and he mentioned might leave the US.
    I dont want to stress him out even more so I stopped calling. Its been 6 weeka since I last saw him and 3 weeks since I last texted him. On the last text he said he misses me and wants to see me, but I was so tired of the FWB status I replied “haha Ill see u soon. enjoy ur time off now”.. trying to imply I’m not gonna give in to the FWB when HE wants it. His reply was Thank U. That was it and its been 3 weeks since.
    A guy had commented on his FB this
    morning asking to hang out before he leaves the US.. My guess is that he’s not getting his greencard so he’s going back home but I dunno if he’s leavibg for good.
    Im head over heels for this guy and I dont want FWB status w him anymore so I am giving up on him. I just wanted some input from u ladies.

    Why does it hurt so much if it wasn’t meant to be??!

    Thanks for reading. ps im typjng this on my phone so its really tiring to type too much in detail.

  1355. #1355 by Mia on March 5, 2010 - 7:52 pm

    Hey all,
    We did talk it out, he did accuse me of being jealous. I was trying to tell him that my problem isn’t jealousy but my problem is when i can define with boundaries what things are then i understand. He said he did call her and it ain’t a big deal. (she is new, he would have asked for her number you see.. but he does not consider this a big deal. ) I told him i like her! i am not jealous but i had to re- establish just what we are… we broke up then you wanted to get back with me, we are dating again. he interrupts saying i’m jealous and it takes me forever to get with him on things, that i have to know waaaay too many details, research, blah, he is like get it done. he said he could not call me cuz i was at work…

    my question to him was this: how did it come about in his head to call her when he decides he wants to go to walk tomorrow at the park? i said i could have posted it for him, or if you are dating me, i guess i would assume you may want to call me and say, hey mia, i am wanting to go for a hike tomorrow and i am going to ask “o” to post a note for the whole group to come along… just want to give you a heads up.

    but no, i see it from her.

    i know i am smothering him. he is totally free but what I told him was i get the feeling you do not want me associated with you at all when around church folks… he said that is not true and he has told me before… hm.

    he even got so upset he said, “let us just go back to friends.” i was like no, meaning you can’t just take easy way out here. i am not doing this. my thing is we have come too far, to just drop this.

    i softened him up and called him back and spoke about the sports team and you see i am trying my best to be “nice” again and steer it back to happy mia… i need to get going here to get ready if i go with him. he wants to leave out very early from the place tomorrow.

    i do want him. he is a very very cut and dry person. he says i am a very jealous person and he does not like that. (this is coming from a man that will break a date and then i see a post to that singles group that he is on a list with a girl to do something the same nite… he apologized but he is running from me and i am so trying to hold back from him.. his behavior is confusing to me.. )

    i will let go.

    i will just treat him as only a friend now.

    if he wants me in that way i will slow it way down…

    i will try not to do so much with him and allow him his own space.

    i love him so much.

    i know he does and think he is torn, but you see i can’t even talk with him about the relationship without him getting all bothered, so i drop it. done. he will do what he wants as he wishes, and his perceptions of us are more impersonal in some ways, so i need to take it as he gives it.

    letting go now.

    please pray that he will keep me for now… i so want to be iwth him. thanks love and peace… mia xoxoxxo

  1356. #1356 by Jess on March 5, 2010 - 8:20 pm

    Jane,

    wow I love your logic and I think you are right! and it doesn’t matter if its true or you are just making yourself feel better, the point is you feel better so it’s great! And you can may be verify this by making a casual talk asking his opinion on this logic later when you are with him to check how he think (but not making him know you refer to him).

    Jane sorry to confuse you, when I said ‘connect’ I mean chat on line. But leaving message here and there is like leaving offline msg, texting.

    Saggi girl,

    Oh saggi girl I got a hiccup reading your situation because my guy is exactly the same!!! and to specific, my guy always give example using the word ‘you fail’ to make his statement more powerful. I hate it when he did that because it works most of the time!!!

    Saggi girl you are not losing yourself to let him influence your decision may be because you also know that he is right but be careful you might want that cable again! (I know I would… LOL)

    Oh saggi girl, I notice that these (Taurus) men when they are tired or under pressure they get more irritated/serious than necessary even to small issue or unimportant things (like your cable for example) and could say something mean without meaning anything. Are your guy the same? because this happened couple times with mine that got me felt bad but i tried to understand that he was in a bad shape. So we can be aware of this so we dont take it personal next time when a bull gone bad! hahaha what a word!

  1357. #1357 by Jess on March 5, 2010 - 8:40 pm

    Jane,

    Forget to reply you, yes I will be seeing him tomorrow because he suggested it after the first day he left (and I knew that when he suggest the idea it means he already decided… it was just his way trying to be nice to cover his manipulative side…) I tell you Jane, becoming his gf doesnt come with so much privilege LOL! Because he still do things on his own term even though I can see he try to be more concern about me but Jane Taurus is a fix sign, he will always be going on about his own business having me or not. The thing is him not contacting me right away when he is back from trip is his natural bullshit nature LOL. He didn’t do it on purpose to play game or make me feel bad. I just forget it hoping that he be more caring about my feeling because now because I’m his gf. I just know that once he give me the title nothing is going to change so much but one thing for sure is that he already decided and you know what it means when Taurus make a decision (it takes hell and forever for them to change)

    Or may be same as you that I’m just trying to make myself feel good?!!! LOL!

  1358. #1358 by Jess on March 5, 2010 - 9:00 pm

    FullC,

    I’m so sorry for your pain but your guy’s situation is not looking good for a relationship at all. Being insecure especially it’s about job/financially is huge issue for Taurus men, I don’t think they would have a mind to see about relationship even just romance area.

    I don’t think he just ignore you to be mean but he just don’t see a way to keep things going with you in any form of status especially when he is leaving the country soon…

    Cheer up and be strong.

  1359. #1359 by Jess on March 5, 2010 - 9:10 pm

    TattooGirl,

    I believe Taurus men are very protective to their own heart. I agree with you that everybody afraid to get hurt but without risk you won’t get anywhere with anyone but Taurus men is not going to take a high way and risk their heart out, instead they will stubbornly fixing their way and wait for the one who got all the patient and understanding mind to be with him. I guess that is why so many women complain how Taurus guys are playing game and taking women for granted. I dated my guy for a year before I heard him saying ‘ I love you’ for the first time and just recently that he asked me to be his gf. Even after a year of constant dating and feelings he still said he is scared!!! But I truly believe him because I’m scared too and am still.

    About the website where you can chat about this, check out sasstrology.com there are many forums there.

  1360. #1360 by Jane on March 5, 2010 - 9:20 pm

    Jess

    Hi jess, hey good point you make there, that when with him maybe casually check his logic out!! Of course not letting him know it he I am checking about!! I will keep that in mind!! Of course assuming he gets in touch when he is back!!!!!!!

    Lol jess I laugh when you say he already suggest meeting you the day that he left, meaning he already decided!!! Like a Taurus would have it any other way!!! Hee,hee

    You know exactly how your guy is going to be its so funny the way you say that, and yet its so true and I guess a very good thing coz that way you always know what to expect!! Or not expect!

    I agree with the โ€˜fixedโ€™ part, oh yes so fixed, like โ€˜stuck in mudโ€™!!!! lol
    I realise what you say too about he still go on his same business regardless if with you are not but as you now โ€˜girlfriendโ€™ to him your feelings more in his mind and he considerate of you so much more, yes?? Oh for sure it will be his way or no way, they just made with that โ€˜I am the man and it my job to shelter youโ€™. Its kinda sweet really its just when they go over the top and the bullshit creeps in, oh boy they can drive us crazy!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRR!!

    Thank you Jess, I do feel better, you guys help so much, so glad we all here. I may be feeling a little different as the week goes on and may get a little โ€˜wobblyโ€™ lol I have a little concern at the minute that I will be expecting him to be in touch asap when he back, he may have different idea!!
    Jess have a wonderful time tomorrow with your boyfriend!! Hee hee (how great!)
    I am sure he will be so happy to see you.
    Oh Jess one last questionโ€ฆ.. Would you mention to your guy when you see him about his lack of contact, or say nothing as to him it is โ€˜pastโ€™!!?? I am guessing that is how Taurus will think!!??
    I am just thinking ahead my approach lol

  1361. #1361 by saggi girl on March 5, 2010 - 9:50 pm

    Jess,

    It is true that my guy always easily got irritate over small things, sometimes, i think he is the one with full of dramas.. not me, especially when he was under pressure and was not in good shape.. i totally agree with you. what a journey..

    I know, deeply i know he is right on this but I just do not like whom i am becoming to…i hate to admit when he is right..LOL

    So happy for you.. Jess. Have fun tomorrow. I am going to do laundry and shop for my kitchen ware.. as right now. i have only 2 spoons and 2 bowls.. no fork, no knife and no Chopstick..i miss my chopstick.. i can live without fork but my bull can not. he tried to use chopstick one time especially he is lefthanded.. it was so funny when he did that..

    I have to admit.. they are cute..hehehehe..

  1362. #1362 by Mia on March 6, 2010 - 4:37 am

    Ah Saggi, Jess, Jane,

    So sweet. Saggi, yes, i do think our taurus men can be overly dramatic too sometimes, when they have their mind fixed on something that is beneficial for us.

    Jess, do have fun with your guy, Relish him!!! so sweet.

    Jane, ah sweet Jane, sending you sweet hugs, soooo sorry and i so hope you hear from him soon! but come here and vent whenever you need too!

    FullC, wishing you the best luck and all are here for you.
    TatooGirl, and Jess, this helps me too because i have been with my guy about 9 months.

    he called, it didn’t work out going, he got very angry at my “jealous” episode and i at first told him i wasnt’, but later i sent him two heartfelt messages on his phone and he called after i sent each one.

    remember i had no sleep at all, still dont and i just had to pay a huge amount as my heater went out. he is so precious to me. so sorry for my stupid anxiety attack. i am learning that i need to sleep on things first.

    sending you all my hugs… xoxoxoxxo

    mia

  1363. #1363 by Mia on March 6, 2010 - 6:43 pm

    Jane, Jess, Saggi, Lioness and all our beautiful women here,

    I have been doing some thinking and I can’t just let my guy go yet, but am trying to determine if his behaviors are associated with a typical taurus guy… or if he is telling me he is NOT fwb and just acting as my friend but wants s** from me too…

    When I backed off and just treated him as a friend, he was coming around contacting me often, etc.

    I do know that when I communicate straight with him, he doesn’t run away. Even yesterday when I asked him why he would contact another gal (the new one) to post something to the church group about going to the park today, he still contacted but he was highly annoyed and told me i am a jealous person.

    i guess i think if a guy tells you he wants to date you and only you, then if u do go to same church, he would tell me about wanting to get the group together to go to the park?? he would want to include me? but this is not the case with him.

    he says things he does not mean as he got flustered and said, lets just go back to being friends… but then an hour later, he is texting me asking me what i am going to wear when we go out last night… but when it fell through cuz i had to get my heater fixed, he just said, we will do it another time.

    he is still mad i know, but he called last night and i explained i was upset with my heat going out, and the bill is high. he then asked what was wrong with heat, did i get another assessment from another company, you know how taurus guys are… lol.

    Everyone here has someone in a situation similar to another.

    Lionsroar is the one that has a similar situation as we both share in the same friends. Her guy did almost the exact same as mine is before they became a couple.

    I did tell him I thought it would be fun to go to park and i would love to hike today. i don’t want him to think i am chasing him either! but thinking my friend and me may go to park cuz no one NO ONE responded to his email. he is so sweet, and i want to show up for support, i can’t tell you what a difference it made last week when my friend and i showed up for bowling last week, he appreciated it. so i will be his friend today, and if i am happy in my own right, hopefully he won’t think i am chasing.

    i do value him and i do value his friendship. his signals are more than FWB as he would not make future plans nor have me around his family if he wasn’t serious. he also would not want to do mundane things with me, like we did lots of shopping the other day, so we do enjoy each other’s company, fishing together, etc.

    sending much peace and love to you..

    mia xoxoxox

    jane, you hang in there! vent here and i can feel your frustration, please do not cry or feel hurt. i so wish i was closer to where you live, i would grab you up today and we would have a blast!!! and jess and saggi, lioness Too!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚
    for the new ones, welcome and vent all you wish here, it is a comforting place for your frustration with our stubborn guys;)

  1364. #1364 by Jane on March 6, 2010 - 8:32 pm

    Mia

    Hi Mia, well I have to say all the things you and your Taurus do together does not just sound like FWB!
    As you say mundane things! I know Taurus do sweet little things like that to show affection in some way, you know more action than words.
    I know last year me and my guy where in touch daily but hadnโ€™t saw each other in 3months!!!!! Yes thatโ€™s right 3months!!! Donโ€™t know how I did that back then, and even now saying it to you it sounds crazy!! Lol

    Anyway he offered to take me to buy something that I needed his advice and expertise on as he knew what he was talking about and I had no clue, so he picked me up, took me to buy it, looked for ages around various shops and even said โ€˜we can go other places or I could bring you back another dayโ€™!! I was delighted on his efforts to help me. When I think back though that was the start of the โ€˜very slowโ€™ changes between me and him, you know the moving snail pace forward!
    So Mia these guys really do like doing things for/with the one they care about.
    This guy maybe just in his own sweet way getting to know you, observe you, check you out. Mia I remember a while ago you saying something likeโ€ฆโ€™I must dress more like a ladyโ€™! do you remember that!? (not that I am saying you not now! Lol) But it made me think of a way you can continue to catch his eye, in a different wayโ€ฆ.Dress up!!! Strutt your stuff for him, not on a date (coz that may lead to sex!!!) When you out doing these mundane things you say you doing with him!! Hee hee, oh he will just love it, be watching you and good thing for you is you will be saying โ€˜catchya soon sweetieโ€™ as you leave eachother, you see, no sexing it up for him and he leaves with that vision of you instead!!! Lol

    I am not doing so good today, feel bit low, missing him so bad. So disappointed I havnt heard from him although I really do believe that yes he be thinking of me but being typical Taurus will not see the purpose of texting me whilst he so far away!! He wont see the point. I keep telling myself that and then get a weak moment and think he may be thinking I should be in touch with him as it him who is away!! OH goodness I do not know!! It is just the longest 2weeks ever!!

    Hope you are ok Mia, big hugs

  1365. #1365 by Jane on March 6, 2010 - 8:38 pm

    Mia

    Sweet Mia, thank you for your lovely words, they help so muchโ€ฆx

  1366. #1366 by Jane on March 6, 2010 - 8:48 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hey saggi, happy shopping!! I was laughing a sweet laughโ€ฆ. 2spoons, 2bowls 0 fork I miss my chop stick!! Bless you, I am guessing you now have your kitchen ware, great. Hey maybe we could all come over for a scrumptious saggi girl meal!! MMMM!!! LOL
    It is so great getting all you need for a new place but my goodness can be a task too! So many boxes!!! Lol
    Well I hope you have you big strong Taurus to help you hee, hee x

  1367. #1367 by Mia on March 7, 2010 - 1:09 am

    Jane,
    I have not had time to read your message.

    He just let me have it.

    I asked for a couple gals phone numbers and he asks why?

    he calls me and then tells me I am wishy washy. he said he will not be at church service then tells me i am a nosey person to ask why he won’t be at church… i said, i’m sorry, i am not a nosey person, i thought we had more of a relationship but sorry to get so personal, it is none of my businesss…

    i called him back cuz i am reading his text and it says why do want their number? i called him back to say, if i am nosey, then why are you asking me why i want their numbers???

    he got REALLY MAD and said, WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING FIRE WITH FIRE.

    he said, “YOU ARE A NOSEY PERSON, AND YOU JUST ABOUT DID ME IN FRIDAY MORNING when you got jealous. YOU ARE A VERY JEALOUS PERSON.”

    i am like crying…

    he just said, oh well, here we go again… i said, sorry to bother you, bye, i am like crying …

    i want to be sooooooooooo faaaaaaaaaaar away from him now.

    he said he will help me with my truck tomorrow, but he says he should not have done it to his car, he was badgering me do you want help or not with your truck… i said, I DON’T WANT TO DISRUPT YOUR TIME… he said, puleeze… do you or not? i said i do, i want the best for my truck, or i’ll go pay to have it done. he said don’t pay…

    he is so mad at me, and i so want to move away from him…

    he may never ask me out again, right now, i am in this abandonment mode with him. until he can be nice, i never want to be around him… i feel so sad, when i should be fighting mad at him, but if i was he would break up, like one more iron on that fire and he is already out the door.

    thank you for your help, i will feel better soon to be more helpful here.

    i do not know what to do here. i AM NOT NOSEY. I AM FAR FROM BEING A NOSEY PERSON. I AM NOT JEALOUS. I AM NOT A JEALOUS PERSON. AND I AM NOT WISHY WASHY. I JUST SAID I VALUE HIS OPINION AND I had already done what i thought best. what is with him, like he is picking fights.

    i will feel better soon…

    love to all,
    mia xoxoxoxoxox

  1368. #1368 by Mia on March 7, 2010 - 2:54 am

    Jane!

    oh sweet sweet beautiful Jane….

    yes I think so too!

    and he just called me AGAIN! he does keep calling me, this last time, he was calm and calling me from his home number.

    He was nice to me. He was much softer tone too…

    I think he in his “bullish” way was giving me the message that he was too hard on me and said when you get all the money for the team, call me and i will play.

    he hates it when i do not have FACTS. he ONLY wants the FACTS. not what i am going to do… but geez, i just said, okay, NO … we DO NOT HAVE A TEAM. cuz i don’t have all their money which i am collecting tomorrow… i have a plan i work my plan.

    bottomline…

    i love him dearly. i would NEVER in a million years want him to think me nosey! or jealous! or a bother to him in any way shape or form. my answer. is to do what you are doing. leave him alone. i can’t keep saying i am sorry. i say that too much too him, i just can’t apologize my dignity and self worth away to him… besides, i want him to think me beautiful and independent.

    i am used to his behavior though, my last guy did the same thing, they drill you but i think my problem is if i stand up for myself and disagree, then it adds fuel to the fire with him and he gets even more mad to that point of breaking up words… i do not want him that rialed up, it isn’t worth it, you can’t argue with him… my grandaddy was like that too, i bet he was a taurus! lol, he would argue with the wall, but the kindest heart on earth, so is “m”… he is so precious. so i just agree… and say, you can think me “nosey” if that is what you think, but i was like crying at that point, because i was trying to get the sport team stuff done and he was calling me and attacking me for asking him why he would not be at church, but i will NEVER ask him another question.

    yes jane! he does take me places to help me, or we meet after work, he did this LOTS at the beginning, we would spend hours going to different places, comparing prices and sometimes, not buying anything, cuz price too high or something, lol. but i am very patient in that way with him and respect his judgement.

    oh i do dress like a lady, in skirts, or very nice slacks for work with the white blouses, very feminine, and heels, he loves the way i dress… and oh yes, i was being vigilent on our date nights to push him away gently when he was getting frisky saying we said we would go slower now… i need to start doing that again… to gently steer us from s** … i do not want to take me for granted in that way.

    i am trying so hard not to text him that i am sorry and to thank him in advance for his help with my truck tomorrow. but jane, usually when i ask for his help he sometimes says sure, but today it was like he was giving me an excuse telling me he thinks he may not should have done the thing to his truck, but it is up to me whether i want him to help me or not… that tells me he is still mad at me from the jealous episode and so really in truly i want the best for my truck, i said, it’s okay, i can just take it somewhere, he said don’t pay to have this done i said i will do it. i said well, i would rather go on and have it done please. he said fine. tomorrow he can do it…

    so we shall see.

    oh and yes i DO know what it feels like at first when you did not see him for 3 months!!!! i knew mine for about 2 months before he came on to me!!!! then it was after that when he started wanting to ask me out… and my last taurus i NEVER thought he would ask me out, we emailed for almost 2 months, maybe 2 1 /2 months! lol, i was like you… but i hung in there…

    please know that i am in worse shape than you, but i am hoping that his anger towards me is actually a good sign… i am hoping that that means he cares. i did go for the walk today at the park and there was the gal pal and the bowling lady, but they are nice, and we did fine, the new gal was not there. afterwards i had to walk back almost a mile to my truck cuz i had to park far away. i texted him saying “guess i could have asked u for a ride back to my truck, it’s okay.” he texted back, “sure i am sorry i wasn’t thinking ” i said, it’s okay, i am walking along the side of road and it is not quite a mile, i should be back to my truck in about 12 minutes.’

    but what kills me is I KNOW he would have given the gal pal a ride back WITHOUT her even asking just like he could not wait to give her a ride when her car broke down a couple weeks ago…

    it is almost as if he treats the one he is dating WORSE than his gal friends. i know this is true with me and i just can’t figure it out… is it because he is still unsure and he does not want me to think that he cares too much so he deliberately avoids helping me in front of others???

    thanks for your kind words jane. i am not going to text him anymore. i have done my damage, and i went through many a days with my last guy early like this where i thought i had lost him… i can remember one thing i did he was livid, and took him weeks to get over, but he felt bad and came back so lovingly.

    lastly i have a question and scenerio i need you to ponder… you, jane or saggi or jess ๐Ÿ™‚ anyone…

    i think he has a bit of angst becuz i have taken this role upon myself to start this sports team cuz i want to play. we need equal guys and girls. so i have been in contact with many guys on this. they are emailing and calling me. he knows this. do you think in some way HE is JEALOUS ? because i am having to arrange meetings with them to collect the money for this team… he says oh you love it, you love the drama. i am like NO THIS has become a nightmare and i just was doing it so i can play. i am washing my hands of this when we get the team, i want no part of this. but that is just words to him. when i do turn this over, i am done with it and maybe just maybe he will see i am ligit. i know i need not prove nothing to him. i allow him to push my buttons and feel similar to saggi and the cable t.v. thingee.

    saggi, i know u felt frustrated, cuz that was like him questioning your judgement when he meant the best for you. my guy did EXACTLY the same thing, questioning the way i am handling this sports team. geez. i’m like, if you are not doing it, then please leave me be ๐Ÿ™‚ but i would not dare tell him this, he would have attacked me more… smile.

    i will hang in there and leave him be… i will find a very pretty outfit to wear to church tomorrow in case i see him.

    from now on i WILL NEVER question him cuz i NEVER wish him to think i am in his business. i feel terrible, but need to just let it go… smile.

    any advice on how i can let him know i am NOT dramatic, how to calm down and NOT cause any waves but to act in a way that will draw him in appreciated ….

    nite all, and sending hugs and love…

    thank u soooooooooo much for all ur support.
    mia
    xoxoxooxxoxo

    jane, u are adorable! u hang in there and u are soooo like me in thinking oh he is waiting for me to text him perhaps! i say, to hold back if you can and KNOW he is coming back to love you MORE THAN EVER!!!!!!! he misses you soooo much! i do know that! he adores you.

    saggi, i do hope your guy is helping you with your move, i already knew he loved you deeply and u would get back together quickly. my guy lasted one week before he wanted to get back with me it was so sweet. i hope i haven’t blown it with him.

    jess. you MUST be with your guy during this long trip. it will be good for you and him. we are so here for you and your situation reminds me of the indian soccer player girl movie that was in love with the american… did you see that? oh it was soooo good. it is very similar, and had a happy ending just like yours will be!!! you have our total support and love always.

    lioness, you hang in there too!!! you are precious and we are here for you….

    love and kisses xooxo

  1369. #1369 by Jane on March 7, 2010 - 12:58 pm

    Mia

    Hi Mia, first of all, hold your head up, no more crying and truly think about this!

    You said that when you back off a little and treat this guy like a โ€˜friendโ€™ he contacts you more!? So, thatโ€™s the first thing you must do.
    He must respect you and know that you are not going to be his part time girl.

    It does sound like he taking you for granted here a little, knowing you will be there when he wants you to be ( I do that too and never say no to him!)

    By doing that (as hard as it is) you teach him he must work for you (I should take my own advice! Lol) you are not available at the drop of a hat to him! You deserve more.

    It is so true Taurus can possess a temper and fly off the handle at times and when he lost it with you and said you jealous about him contacting other girl, he sounds like he felt โ€˜corneredโ€™ in to explaining himself but Mia whether you jealous or not is irrelevant, he should not be freely arranging things with other woman or at least be involving you.

    The only thing here though Mia that springs to mind, that possibly lets him off the hook a little is as you both involved with church, same friends, acquaintances it is part of the whole gathering thing that you would all be in touch with each other, not sure I explained that very well!! You both involved with large groups of people for bible study ect and the team thing you doing. So it natural that you both be talking/in touch with so many people. Oh I would say he may be put out a little that you organising that team thing. Taurus donโ€™t always like attention given to someone else, especially if that someone else is someone they care about!

    I will share this with you, when me and my guy first got together I had a female friend around for a drink and a meal, he did not know anything about it and called me while she was there, I took the call into another room and when I told him I had company, he came out with this bullshit about, โ€˜wellโ€™why is she there!?Tell her to go,What time did she arrive? !!!????? It was crazy, he clearly did not like that I was spending time with someone else (female or not!!!) When I told him I was not going to tell her to go and that she would not be there much longer anyway, he seemed fine! Strange!
    What I am saying to you is, Jealousy is a Taurus thing and he accusing you of it takes the spotlight off him!

    The thing is, you know him, you know if he shows jealousy or not and a little is fine. You know what is acceptable and what isnโ€™t Mia.
    Your guy sounds like he likes to keep you โ€˜awayโ€™ from the โ€˜group thingโ€™ not involve you so much.
    Mia, you are clearly upset here, it is not feeling right for you so it is time to alter things from your end and see how he reacts! (just my view of course)
    You say you want him to know you are not dramatic and calm down, well you are already doing it by back off, (let him do some rowing! Remember!?) Donโ€™t react to him, remember bulls hate drama, keep your cool, all sweet and ladylike, make him want you for all the right reasons! YES!??? If you sit back and observe him for a while, check him out it may help you understand his โ€˜wayโ€™ better. He will wonder why you โ€˜quietโ€™ all of a sudden, draw him to you. You will feel better within yourself and be able to see more clearly this guys intentions towards you. You are beautiful Mia, you for sure do not need me to tell you that!!

    Thank you for your encouraging words to me, I am ok. Just miss him so bad and hope he away thinking of me too!! 6days to go!!!! lol

  1370. #1370 by Jess on March 7, 2010 - 4:07 pm

    Jane,

    I was giggling when reading the line about your Taurus bullshit wanting to get rid of your friend…. hehe it’s so typical Taurus, rude and rude and not give a damn what people might think for him to say such thing!!! hehe!

    No I did not and have no intention to say to him about his lack of contact because it didn’t bother me and his contact here and there (text/off line chat message) is good enough for me.

    Mia,

    Stop that FWB thingy with him. I can see how much you love him dearly but Mia Taurus will not and perhaps never will respect or appreciate a woman he can walk all over with. You will not make a serious relationship the kind of girlfriend type if you are involved with him as FWB. I’m sorry to say it but that is my observation.

    “………….but i think my problem is if i stand up for myself and disagree, then it adds fuel to the fire with him and he gets even more mad to that point of breaking up wordsโ€ฆ i do not want him that rialed up, it isnโ€™t worth it, you canโ€™t argue with himโ€ฆ”

    I’m sorry Mia but in my opinion this is so wrong and so unacceptable. If a guy love you they won’t break up with you because you stand up for yourself. Look at saggi girl, how many times she did more than standing up for herself even make a drama out of nothing sometimes (LOL. sorry Saggi girl i can’t help teasing you a bit…) her guy still works hard to put up with her and stay.

    I can only see it takes a lot of strength and courage from you to broke this off (to stop the friend with benefit thing) because it’s the only way to right out the wrong and start it all over.

    May all the strength and courage comes to you!

  1371. #1371 by Jane on March 7, 2010 - 5:48 pm

    Jess

    Hi Jess, oh for sure you know the Taurus bullshit I refer too!! Lol!!!!!

    We just have to grin a sweet grin when we think of their crazy ways! But we love them dearly!!! Hee Hee

    Jess, while I have been going crazy missing my bull (thank god I have been busy with study too!!!)
    I have been thinking about โ€˜meโ€™ and how I am in this relationship with him. I love him so much but feel I do give much more than I get. I realise my โ€˜friendโ€™ status may have a lot to do with that and hopefully will change โ€˜a littleโ€™ as we progress but I am so patient with him as I well know itโ€™s the only way and I will stay that way but what I mean by โ€˜give too muchโ€™ is I initiate everything and base my decisions towards him on how โ€˜heโ€™ will be, like put him before myself. Not always but I notice I do it. I know that is not good.
    I basically do not want him to take me for granted; I want him to show me he wants to see me instead of just agreeing to me asking. Do you see what I mean jess?

    Last weekend not seeing him before he went really upset me, oh I am not going to mention that to him as its past now but it showed me how self involved he can be and not give me a thought. He is very aware of how upset I was so thatโ€™s enough for me that he knows that so now I want to just โ€˜sit backโ€™ a little, let him come to me, that will help me feel more secure in the knowledge that he does truly see me in his future at some point coz, yeah these guys donโ€™t stick around if they got no plan!!
    I just hope I figure in it with him.
    I think me not making contact while he away may give him some food for thought and think about โ€˜usโ€™ for when he gets back, I am hoping he is missing me too, I know you have been through this many times with your guy and his trips away but I have not, so this is my first taste of it that is why I have struggled with โ€˜should I text? Is he expecting me to text? Why hasnโ€™t he text me? Like I said I do believe it be far from his mind to be in touch as he wont see the point as he far away!!
    I do hope things work out between us, I know he wont change his ways and I am not trying to change him I just am always (like us all here) trying to understand him so I can accommodate us both!!

    Jess I hope your weekend is going well and you and your bull got together after his trip. I realise the next few weeks will be precious to you both before he has to leave again. Hugs to you Jess x

  1372. #1372 by Jess on March 7, 2010 - 6:47 pm

    Jane,

    so funny how nice you use the word ‘self involved’ instead of self centered or even selfish! LOL. I think they are selfish but I hate it that I understand this too well because I’m self centered as typical Aries.

    I get your point about wanting him to want and initiate thing instead of just agreeing with you but are you willing to do some experiment on this? do you know it takes a lot more than patient and calmness and there is no guarantee for a positive feedback. It’s just another fun idea to torture yourself to get to know your guy hahaha!

    You may suggest meeting up then let him do the asking out job but you know this gonna take long time (may be 2 or 3 weeks) during the long perios you will go thru your own mental fight in which a lot of Q pop out in your head like: how he can go for weeks without wanting to see me while I was desperately missing him so much here! and then your patient level drop as your missing level goes up then you start to get more anxious and start creating drama in our mind, if you give in at this stage you will carry all your frustration and put it out on him and make a big drama….

    So you see how this could lead. BUT if you have all this deliberately planned and pursue it with calm and understanding I think you can make it.

    First of all you NEED to understand that they are not ignoring you on purpose but by NATURE! and that is so much different. I believe when your guy didn’t plan to see you before he left, it was not about priority but about HIM. He does thing that fit him best at the moment. He doesn’t take time to consider which is appropriate which is not , and of course not taking into consideration how his action would make you feel bad because according to him it’s not a big issue to feel too bad about. (yeah selfish bull bastard!)

    Now that you understand his bullshit nature, you know it’s most likely you to initiate for thing to happen then do it Jane, but change the style by ‘suggest’ the idea instead (this way so he knows you wants to see him) and let the asking out to him. Give it a week for him to start missing you while you are waiting somewhat patiently hehe. Meanwhile work on your charm carry on your normal contact (text, phone, whatever but act more on defense role) Yes Taurus is very strong with the most patient to wait for thing to happen but he is the one who need a real physical contact to go on (face to face) while us girl may be contented only if a guy constantly text or call but Taurus doesn’t give so much important to those kind of contact than real one. (i think this is why they are notorious for not calling/texting) So my point is he will be dying to see you for sure but he can endure longer time until he feels that need.

    I notice this trait in my guy not only about seeing me but almost everything he do. Like eating, he doesn’t mean to wait or torture himself but he can goes about all day until he was really hungry like dead to eat, even so when the food is served he can even talk for half an hour more to start his food…. or sleeping, his eyes was about to close but he can go on with his work until his energy meter is in a danger zone…. and he didn’t even notice that. It was like almost the last drop of life for him to move!!! He is too natural in everything he does even though that are so bad or damage his health, same thing with relationship, he can be soooo naaaatural that it is about damage his girl’s mind… LOL! he didn’t even realitze it until a big drama is thrown on the face and he act surprise, oh what’s going on? can’t we talk like human?!!! hahaha! Human your bull a$$!

    Jane you see my point? (I’m sorry I’m good at making a short explanation)

    Use your charm Jane in drawing him to you. Dyring the time you are waiting and miss his contact, you need to do what get you to carry on peacefully even it includes sending him text. Do it. But keep in mind that he might not reply or reply late so don’t feel bad if that happens. Usually us ladies do things with a certain expectation. Well what a sure expectation you can make is that: he is not going to reply or reply late! that kind of expectation never fail you! LOL!

    Jane, I’m sorry I said too much that my thought got messed up and I lose my point and could not finish what I wanted to tell you…. (typical Aries…) So can you do your own finishing? hahaha! I’m sure you can make a good one!

    But Jane, don’t take my idea too seriously because I’m a bit extremist and I get satisfaction from torturing myself sometiems LOL!

  1373. #1373 by Jess on March 7, 2010 - 6:52 pm

    I was saying I am NOT good at making a short explanation.

  1374. #1374 by Mia on March 7, 2010 - 9:10 pm

    Jane, Jess,

    Thanks. Thanks Jane, yes, my ‘Jealousy’ is about a guy that says he wants to date only me… and then calls other gals to set up things to do with with other church people, but FAILS to tell ME the one he is dating??? I get an email from HER saying to contact “m” for going to the park??? uh uh. nope. if a guy has NO INTENTION of me being with him to ask me ahead of time or even tell me he is thinking about doing this and i am welcome to come too… then NOPE. i CHOOSE NOT to have ANYTHING to do with you… so sorry, i am venting here. he hurts me more than you can know. even now! he is with his gal pal and they all went to eat. he did not call me but called me only to say, let me know when you get enough people for team, i said, bye. he could care less about me jane. or he is ACTING like he could care less. and his actions are all about i treat alll women at church with respect BUT you mia.

    I made sure I stayed away from him at church today. i did not sit with the “group”. afterwards, i had to go to another area for sign ups for the team thing. he was no where to be found. i got a text from him, “call me” then i had a missed call from him. i finally called him and hearing all this noise in background with his gal pals’ voice calling him. they had all gone out to eat, he of course does not invite me. he just says did you get all the people with thier money, interrogating me, i have had it. i was short curt to him. he said call me when you get your people and maybe i will play too.

    i said, i already know this bye “m” bye… trying to get off as fast as possible. i SHOULD HAVE SAID, if you want to play you will need to call me before the deadline, it isn’t up to me to call you… i probably should not even have called him back?

    you see, i am a reliable person, true to my word, he is not. he was supposed to help me with truck today, no mention of it, he will not.

    my friend came home and said they all went out to eat and asked if i am going to park with them again today? i said i knew nothing about it. so you see… he DOES NOT want me anywhere near him while he pals it up with his gal pal from church. i felt like a 3rd wheel to them yesterday, they were nicely chatting and each time i said something he was curt with me and she practically was too…

    funny thing how he would have suggested taking her to her car, probably even took her yesterday i do not know…

    he is trying to keep me from the church group. he doesn’t give a crap about me and i refuse to be with a guy that is disrespectful to me. i want to be NO WHERE around him right now. he has pushed me away and i gladly move away from him.

    maybe he is afraid some guy will come along and ask me out. i am afraid of this too as there are some guys in the singles groups that i will be around more with this team.

    do you think he is pushing me away as he didn’t want me around all the new guys signing up to be on the team… ?

    i do not want to loose him. but jess is right that if he wishes to take me on a proper date then he can nicely ask….

    if he is mad at me, i know he is still livid with me, then he will get over it.

    i do understand him wanting his autonomy, if he sees me as liking me ??? not wanting to be around the church folks, so that is why Jane i can’t stomach being around him like that. he can be sexy wild for me the night before and then totally ignore me while he is chatting it up with his gal pal and all the other gals everywhere. it is more than hurtful, it is not right.

    jane, i just want to back off and observe him. jess, i am almost but not quite to the point of saying, let’s just be friends, and not date anymore… i am terrified he will never want me again…

    i do not think breaking it totally off is good. with each break up it more than toxifies a relationship, so it may be better for me to slow it way down… on my end.. just be a friend to him.. but act respectable and if he wishes to ask me out… good, if not i am not a sleaze, a tease, or a who** to him… sorry.. i do think he knows that like jane said… i do think he cares way more for me or he would not constantly find ways to be with me.. and remember he will answer my text within one minute usually and calling me all day yesterday… guys just don’t want to be anywhere near you texting, calling or otherwise if they don’t like you…

    i just think jane is right, he wants to keep me separate, which in a small way i understand he wants his autonomy just as if we were at different churches so that is fine. i should not get offended when he goes to the park with everyone and does not want to invite me… but he treats me terribly when i am there…. i should NOT have gone to park yesterday. that was a big mistake…

    but again, everytime i see him at ANY church ANYTHING he is with that gal pal.. he must call her constantly. it kills me and i cant’ bring it up anymore or he WILL break up with me. i say, it’s okay, just be with her, i’ll bow out… he is like no, she is only a friend. well, in my world i would never want to be with a guy that has a gal as his best friend. i have NEVER had that happen to me … my last taurus was always VERY CONSIDERATE of my feelings, he was not that self absorbed or too selfish… he would remember things about me and do them, he would consider my feelings too…

    the guy i am with now is almost becoming a joke to me. i was around some very nice men this morning at the singles class, i normally teach the kids, but may go here more, cuz those guys are very nice and respectable to me.

    lastly, jess, it is almost as if he hates me cuz and the gal pal is “safe” to him since he doesn’t feel anything towards her, even though he says she is ugly, she isn’t like me. she is always quiet and in the background. i am smiling and engaging to people, and maybe he hates me ? i don’t know. i love him so much but must steer this relationship back so i don’t hate him anymore.

    i need to concentrate on forgetting him. that is correct. in my mind i want him NOT TO exist. that way no expectations of him. and concentrate on things that make me happy not bring me down feeling bad about myself. so sorry, but ”scr** him” yup.

    forget him. if he wants to play on the team, he knows where to find me.

    thanks all, and i will stand up for myself. i don’t ever want him touching me again… using me how dare he… so sorry… if he can’t ask me out to a restaurant to want to learn more about me, “scr** him” i am not a cheap thrill… so sorry …

    thank you all.
    mia xoxoxoxo’
    ironically there was a dog yesterday at the park … “m” was there petting her… i asked her name her name was “mia” … ๐Ÿ˜‰
    jane, hang in there, do not call, do not initiate. i am learning too… he was supposed to fix my truck today… am i going to call or text him on it.. “he** NO!!!!!” he WILL NOT BE HEARING FROM ME at all… not today, not tomorrow.. he MUST initiate first…. you can do anything!! you can you are gorgeous and he and MY GUY needs to feel that they can LOOSE us at any given moment. jess, if a guy were to ask me out what do i do??? i tell him? i don’t tell him? it is crazy, how can a guy say you are exclusive and then pal it up with his church gals friends behind my back, taking them places i will bet… then call you and say hm, wanna do something? NO NO NO NO… that is not a guy that is smitten on you, that is a guy USING you becuz you allow it … i am so realizing this. every time he calls me, he acts like a friend, if not more like someone trying to bully me, NOT anything like a guy that wants to date me! not at all… what kills me is he can call me to ask me something platonic, like the team then hang up when we have a date that night! or the next day! and NEVER MENTION it… then he either makes other plans through church! doesn’t show, or shows up, i never know.
    last week when he said, “what are you doing?” i SHOULD HAVE SAID, “I am getting ready for our date to the drive in.” i am serious. because he SHOULD BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE for him ASKING ME OUT. i am not an idiot here. so sorry … i will be more than genuine with him from now on and he will get an genuine answer from me next time instead of, “don’t have any plans yet….” when we BOTH know he DID ask me out…
    i just did not want to embarrass myself… nor take one thing from him. i want to be far in the background and passively slide out of the life of someone that truly never wants me, my time, my company, any of me…

    jess, lastly sorry… what do you think would happen if i called him and said, sorry i cant’ go out with you anymore. i’m done. do you think he would get ticked off and never have anything to do with me again? or do you think he would say, hey now she knows i treat her like sh** and she ain’t taking it no more, i have respect and like her more… ? geez.

    we were fine when i was not questioning anything from him. he was moving closer to me when i kept church separate, however the gal pal thing was killing me and still is.. it just is not right to do someone that way.. and yet he only chooses to have me around his parents…. ? hm…

    i think over alll he is scared and undecided about me and he still wants me to prove my worth to him. i think he is terribly scared at the team thing cuz he knows those guys will be around me… and he can’t stand it. oh i do know this. he gets sooooo riled when i am around other men and they are paying attention to me. he either stands close, or can’t stand it and leaves… i am soooo hurt and soooo wish we were at different churches.

    jess, one last question, you too jane… what if i were to say no more se*? or say let us slow way down or even start over.. ? i just think if i say ANYTHING MORE about the relationship at this point it will be bad.

    actions speak louder than words, and guys respond more to our actions not words! my no contact will get to him… and he will see this… thanks again and sending love.. xoxoxox

  1375. #1375 by Jane on March 7, 2010 - 9:56 pm

    Jess

    Hi to you jess, your point got to me real good!! I think the โ€˜not ignoring me on purpose but by natureโ€™ part stood out a lot because hearing you say that I must remember it, to stop myself going crazy. I think in future I must just react (if I do react) in a cute calm feminine way, get my point across and leave it with him, like I did last week end, that is what I am learning to do, wow it works much better too, not only for my sanity but for his โ€˜safetyโ€™ so I donโ€™t bash him over the head!!! LOL LOL

    Yes I am willing to experiment jess, or as you say torture my self whichever it may be!! Lol Yes I see there is no guarantee with this but good that it will further my understanding of my guy!
    So, I will try that, ask him about meeting up, letting him know it be good to see him, and then WAIT!!! Goodness I will turn grey hair for sure waiting but what the hell if it helps turn things a bit more even balance then it worth a shot right!!??
    Yes pursue it with calm and understanding, I can do that!! Lol

    I agree with you Taurus need the physical, to connect which brings me to say thisโ€ฆ.I am not totally sure of this as I am still observing him on it(if you know what I mean!?) but I am starting to wonder at least when my guy โ€˜keeps distanceโ€™ from me (verbal,physical,text,phone) especially more noticeable since xmas as we have got closer, he slowing things down, he wants it all I know he does, his need for control and fear of another failed relationship keeps him at arms length while he keeps โ€˜observing meโ€™ โ€˜checking me outโ€™ I know he is doing it, I am ok with that I know it is his way.
    Jess I laughed, โ€˜he so natural in everything he does even in relationshipโ€™โ€ฆ. I get your point as I see they so fixed. earth type, hard to move that they miss things sometimes until something falls and hits them in their face and the act โ€˜hey,what was that!?, what was that all about!? LOL

    I will soooo try and use my charm (I will have to find it as it that long since I used it!! Lol) I love him so this will be really worth a go.
    If my guy returns from his trip, he may do what your guy did in the past and wait a few days before he gets in touch!! Do you think it be better if I wait for him rather than send a text to him say, day after he gets back?? I donโ€™t want to play games with him; you know โ€˜tit for tatโ€™ like who should text first!!! Lol

    Thank you Jess for you help, I appreciate your input so much, hopefully I can follow in your footsteps and get the โ€˜girlfriendโ€™ status from my gorgeous bull one of these fine days!! I havnt forgotten about our lil Taurus wifey club!!! HEE HEE

    Posts so slow!!!

  1376. #1376 by Jane on March 7, 2010 - 10:34 pm

    Mia

    Mia you are so lovely and this guy does not deserve you, he is playing with your feelings at the moments and you have to take back โ€˜your powerโ€™.

    I know you are frightened of losing him but Mia at the moment accepting things as they are is not working for you and by being his โ€˜friendโ€™ and not giving him sex, well if that causes him to leave you then my dear Mia you would not want him anyway, you know you wouldnโ€™t, you are better than that and if he too stupid to see it then you may just have to point it out to him by โ€˜pulling backโ€™

    He is not giving you the respect you deserve at the moment, as jess said to you by not being FWB girl it is the only way you can turn this around, so as painful as it is for you right now it seems that is your choice Mia, keep it as it is, do nothing, say nothing OR โ€˜step backโ€™ it is the only way for you to really know if this guy wants you for more than FWB. He will respect you for it even if he walks away because he will see you have respect for yourself and also more likely to realise what a mistake he made by treating you this way.
    You have to take your responsibility in this too Mia, I know you love him and this is so hard but he is not going to change things if he thinks you quite happy to continue as it is, you clearly are not. Donโ€™t lose yourself; think about your autonomy not his.

    You deserve full respect from him, turn this around now Mia, donโ€™t waste anymore tears trying to make โ€˜doโ€™ You are a special woman, let him REALLY see that for himself before someone else snaps you up!!

    Hugs to you x

  1377. #1377 by Mia on March 7, 2010 - 11:38 pm

    Jane,
    Yup, I agree. You are Jess are right. Here is my instinct. I see he was texting me last night on the messenger thingee asking if i was online…

    here was my reply… my message speaks i am about respect, accountability and letting him know i like him “respect” as he does with me when i show him this side to me.

    i did not tell you last night when he called i was my genuine self and talking about my large bill and hoping i didn’t get ‘snoped?’ you know duped by the heater guys. his voice then matched mine, and became very soft and genuine assuring me that i probably didn’t get duped, he was trying to cheer me up. i did not tell you that… it was his sincerity coming out.

    i answered his message today from last night, that we can do the truck another time, we have all summer. (this is to his avoidance today when he said he would fix my truck today, but remember! i asked him. usually when it is his idea, he will, if i ask him, he will not do it… he isn’t there yet, so i need to back off now, signals… )

    i also said this, “please know i hate this team stuff you say i love and i will never do it again, it is not worth it. please do not mention it anymore & know i want u to have ur space as i feel i have crossed into ur path and backing off. ur a sweet guy.” something like that.

    my thing is this. i am going about this all wrong. he obviously is going to keep me separate from church so my thing now is please “m” leave me alone at church, you know you can’t beat em join em. in my mind i do not want him around when i am at church just as he does.

    the only thing he has really done wrong by me is that he likes hanging out at my house instead of a date … forget the church thing, if we were going out and weren’t at the same church, he hasn’t done anything wrong really.

    i keep my life separate now and stay busy busy. smile, nice to him, let him pull from me, no more info. less words used, but very nice to him.

    jane, you are like me so sweet and supportive … i know it is hard, just try to less initiate and slowly let him initiate. i find it is hard for me to get mad at my guy. but what i am learning is that each time i feel disrespected, i let go, and he won’t have me so compliant next time he asks me out. i need to start nicely turning him down… he just text me earlier wanting me to give team info to his gal pal, to call her… i did, don’t have anything against the gal pal, just his behavior with her… ๐Ÿ˜‰

    xoxoxox mia xoxoxo
    jane, you are doing so good… i feel sooooo bad for you though… i so know that terrible feeling, he loves you so, he doesn’t mean it like jess says, he thinks things are fine like mine does.. he will come back like nothing is wrong and is missin you too.. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  1378. #1378 by Mia on March 7, 2010 - 11:42 pm

    jess,
    thank you sooooo much. you are so precious.

    yes i am taking back my power… just like the song, ‘i got the power;)’

    i need to do things that gain my self esteem and being around other guys will be helping me like the team sport, smile. i be myself, nice and friendly and NEVER chase.

    i was starting to chase because he would ask me out then not follow through. then say he is sorry… so i need to tell him i am not available next weekend if he asks…

    ๐Ÿ˜‰ i do want him back like he was when i was leaving him waaaay alone… he was texting calling, blah blah it was nice…. he was respectful i need to get that back ๐Ÿ™‚
    sending you tons of hugs and love jess thank you…. mia xoxoxoxox

  1379. #1379 by funnydove on March 8, 2010 - 3:26 am

    Hi all you girls,

    F***king to this bi-polar bullshit, I’m come back to all of you after a long time decided to move on (maybe I’m addicted to this bullshit smell…LOL).
    Jess,
    So proud of you with such lovely “girlfriend” title, this encourage me to walk in the way that like the sunshine to my “dark” hopeless.
    Jane, Saggi girl, Mia
    Hope all of you doing ok. Im a little bit confused to get through your situations because of missing a lot information. However, give to all bull-involved girls best wishes and warm hugs to cheer up.
    To update my situation: I made a bit drama when I found that he didn’t reply me yesterday on purpose. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ We our class including him made a plan to go to a movie so I and a girl friend in the class both call him to confirm if he can join with us. He didn’t reply to both of us but then this friend said to me that he did call back to her (not me) and say that he had some works to do. So I was like so jealous because he didn’t reply me but reply her. I was in bad mood so texted to him before go to bed like that: “I incidentally know you didn’t reply to me on purpose (not by you were so busy to forget or you missed your mobile). I know you have reasons to do that as well. I guess that I could understand a little bit. I’m sorry to have a straight talk but I need to be respected.”
    He didn’t reply.
    Maybe I was wrong. Do you experience sth like that, give me your advices pls.
    Thanks.

  1380. #1380 by Mia on March 8, 2010 - 6:22 am

    Hey funnydove,
    Sooooo happy you like the smell, oops!!!!!!! lolllllllll i so bad…

    nope, truly only sweet smells here! i wear “happy” by clinique, so i do think positive;) it does smell great too.

    oh yes, that is nothing about the non reply and to the other friend. are u kidding me? he knows, he is testing u. if you take the bait, he will take longer to respond to u. if u do not respond, act like it is no big deal, don’t mention it, let it go, u passed!

    been there and my dear DOING THAT as we speak!!! yup. i have great news to u, Jane, Jess, Saggi, Lioness!
    my guy and i just got offline from messaging with me. he was very respectful. yup. he did not DID NOT get se**ual …. hm, that is good. yes.

    it is like the first time in a very long time that he has not been se*ual with me…

    funnydove, it is okay, u already wrote that. i think jess said it right one time in that sometimes it is easy for us gals to hold guys to some imaginable expectation when they become involved with us. i know i do too, when he is actually just a step outside of being my friend… like sometimes he acts like my boyfriend, then others it is if we are friends or even an acquaintance! lol geez. so in my eyes, unless he says he loves me or i have a ring on my finger, then in my head i say, no expectations, he is free to do whatever he wishes, even though it does not appear “couth”… it is hurtful i know. but i truly don’t think they mean it against us.

    i think they do it so in their mind they can say, “see i am not attached to her, so i nothing in the universe says i have to go through her, this one here is much ‘safer’ for now and wont’ give me any flack, or whatever” oh funnydove that has happened to me so many times, and even today i think. i think my guy was with the gal pal i think most of the day and tonight… long story but i do know that i did not mention it and because of my attitude, he is drawing much closer…

    wishing u well, not sure on ur particulars, but do feel for u as i so know how that feels and it rips ur heart out.. happy ur back and next time that happens, you turn the other way, and you stay oh so happy… he will stop … ๐Ÿ˜‰ cuz he sees that he can’t get a rise out of you anymore.. u are fine with it… when i am like that, he comes back and has respect for me…. very similar to what just happend to me tonight.

    hugs and love to u … mia xoxoxoxo

  1381. #1381 by Mia on March 8, 2010 - 6:59 am

    jane, jess,

    my guy kept texting me all nite almost obssessed with the gal pal being on the team, “can she play?” and this morning he was like call her and let her know the details. i did. i left a message ( on her home phone and cell, she didn’t’ answer) and said would be great for her to play and that we need her! for her to call me:)” and then tonight he texted me “call her.” I was like, are you kidding me? what is his deal? i can’t tell u how many sentences i had to erase like, “sure u and ‘c’ are welcome to play… just with u both would have come to the welcome desk at church like i told the group by email of where the details were, they were too busy going out to eat after church, smile.

    then i actually did call her again tonight and guess who i thought i heard in background. yup. i was shocked and trying to control myself. but it goes to show u, it does not matter what i think, he will do it, and now i KNOW if it matters to the gal, he will do just the opposite… like please don’t hang around her, he will hang around her…

    anyways, when he got online i was very nice (and shocked that he asked me, but sweet jane,jess, he has been calling me and texting me all day long about this or that…) even texting me what am i doing when i think he was with her .. i do think she is only a friend. i do not think he likes her, she is nice, but she is plain (not trying to be mean at all) as i said i like her and may even invite her and the other friend over to play games one night, we do that sometimes… she lives by herself, i have my son here and my friend living with me… so he can hang out with her after they ate, and i may be wrong, he may not have been with her at all… it doesn’t matter cuz in my head it didn’t matter, when i got that attitude, i can relax and remain calm….

    so i did call her and i texted him saying ‘ i called her again and think she is interested in playing! ” i think if he was with her when i called he then felt guilty… also i think he felt bad cuz he asked where i went after church. i said i just went home and ate some soup. see? he went out and the gal pal and everyone and they ate out while i was stuck at church “manning” my booth for the sports team.

    he was telling me how he is going to walk again tomorrow nite, thnk they went to walk again today but he did not invite me. but i found it curious that he asked if i was at church..

    and jane! oh i wore the cutest outfit… brown skirt with creme fishnet stockings and very cute brown pumps… and he didn’t even see meeeeee !!! i should have sat near them … i thought he saw me!!! i overheard one of my sweet friends in choir today say, ah look at “mia’s” legs, she looks like a model, her legs go on and on… lol, wow, that was a very special complement. i only mention that to give u an idea on how cute the outfit was but how i so wished “m” had seen it… when i described what i was wearing he did not say the usual, ‘mmm’ he said ‘cool’… you see? that is respectable i guess… i am learning too here… and i also noticed he did not give me kissey face avatars… only the tip of the hat one… hmmm.. that is good too…

    he also told me when his parents birthday is, asked when my court dates are ( i am working jury duty ) and he set our camping trip. he is telling me like are you going to be good if we camp? you won’t argue about “blah” … lol i said i promise… not a peep from me… when he said, you won’t argue about “blah” i said, what’s “blah” meaning it is already out of my head… lol

    thank u for your encouragement.. he sees me as sweet to him, supportive of him, that i am excited for the gal pal to play with us, that i am working on church stuff cuz i have the determination in forming a team cuz i want to play on the team, teaching the kids, in the choir, he sees my dedication in church, then going home and eating by myself while he goes out with gal pal who i like, but she doesn’t do anything, just attends …. nothing wrong with it, but i think he sees me in a respectable manner…

    he also sees i am NOT chasing him as i did NOT sit with the singles group today but sat by myself …. he was disappointed i think while texting me tonight to know i was at church but did not sit with the singles group… hm…

    i said get some good sleep and he said u too… then he popped offline, for his abrupt selt that is a great sign to even say “u too” at the end. i said sweet dreams. i have never said that, geez, he clicked off and did not return it, not a biggee.. it was very nice chat. our first one in wow, i’m not sure but feel it was the first one that he were not se**ual since the very begining last year!

    please keep me ur thoughts as i do you too…

    wishing u both well… jane sending you great big hugs. u are doing great!!! jess, thank u so much for ur advice, wishing u well too…. big hugs for you

    mia xoxoxoxo

  1382. #1382 by saggi girl on March 8, 2010 - 3:32 pm

    Jess,

    i think i am in trouble again… not that kind of drama but it is not something that i want to hear from my bull… i want to share with you if you do not mind of listening..
    my bull came to see me yesterday… i cook us a nice meal and we enjoyed it together. then when he is full and he was kind of pointing his finger of how i should arrange my room.. we were teasing back and forth a little and then i cleaned the dishes.. then we took a nap together for about an hour and half… he was just basically spooning me while we were taking nap together.. then we woke up and i asked if he wants tea, he said that he did… and then he said that it was a nice nap.. he likes it.. then he was still lying on my bed and i was basically sitting in front of him on the bed randomly chit chat things..he was teasing me that i and my girlfriend were both crazy, that is why we got along so well… i kind of talked to him about my childhood and my parents were so strict with us.. i did more of the housework than my sister did… then he was making comment that it was not fair…then i said that i was not secure in general especially in a relationship..
    then he gave me suggestions about me making decision for my personal thing, and i need to calm down when to make decision… then i asked him to give me some suggestion about me and my parents as they stopped talking to me for a week already.. then he asked me why. then i said it was because of him.. he was still married and my parents want me to settle down.. as i am getting older, but i chose to stay with you when you can not promise me with the future..
    then he was silent for a few minutes..you know how they are when it comes to answer.. then he said” i don’t think my marriage status has anything to do with this, i can guarantee you that we are over.. her exsitence should not be in the picture of threatening you as she was not a threat to our relationship at all..you should not worry about that, we will get it done by summer.. as i do not give any thought on this marriage at all.. but i still care about her and wanted her to be safe and ok..other than that, nothing else.. and we are probably in contact for the rest of our lives.. but she was not a threat at all..i am really sure, you do not need to give too much thought about it..not at all. ” then he also said” i think the problem here is that i was not ready to settle down…I do love you but i can not promise you anything now when i am not ready to give…i do not want to hurt you at all. so i will suggest that you be careful with me.” then i was like” well, how? we are in a relationship now.. how could i be careful.. distance myself from you? how? if i distance myself from you.. then how we are gonna carry on this relationship?” then he was like” right. i do not know..”

    then i asked him if he wants to see someone else, then he was like” i do not want to.” then i asked him why. he paused and said” because i considered that i am with you… we are together..” then he said ” i love you for sure but i am unsure that i want to spend the rest of my life with you…you want me to give you my word on that.. i can not do it now.. it is a really big decision. i love you and i love myself too. if i give you my word that i am not sure of.. it won’t be genuine.” then he also said” i also do not want you to wait for me forever….i know i am kind of difficult.” then he counted his finger. then i asked him what he was doing, he said” nothing.. but do you want to give me a deadline? like 6 months? if i am still not unsure… then you can leave me..” then i was like” i know the answer already.” he was like” what is the answer?” i was like” you do not want to be with me?” then he was like” how do you know? how could you be so sure? if i already knew that i do not want to be with you, we won’t be together now.” then i was like” if you love me like you said, why you are still unsure that if you want to be with me for the rest of your life? if i love someone, i will want to spend rest of my life with this person…” then he was like” no, i do not think these 2 things should go together, i am sure that i love you but i am not sure that i want to spend the rest of my life with you.. that is a huge decision. once the decison was made, no going back, i can not give you the promise if i am not sure i can keep it.. i want to be sure too as i want myself to be happy too.” then he touched my face and said” i do not like to talk something like this, you know me. but i cared about you too much and i want you to know..”

    then he also said” i want you to be secure right now…even things are like this between us.. i want you to be secure..you think too much and analyze every details..and at the same time, you need to be secure in general. you can not depend on me to give you security because of my word…you need to be secure with yourself. It does not mean that you need to see someone else, or i need to see someone else.. either we work it out or we did not in the future. i want you to be secure with yourself..”
    then he teased me a little bit at the end.. I walked him out and we kissed good night.. he told me to text him before i go to bed.. but i did not. instead, he texted me saying” good night baby with kisses. thanks for the dinner and have a nice day tomorrow.”
    oh, he also mentioned that he wants me to figure out my feeling for him if it was genuine or just because of the uncertainty he gave me increases my attraction towards him. as i totally have my husband in hand but i do not cherish…but that i love him this deeply might be have something to do with this uncertainty.. then he said” you need to be careful, it might be the reason.”

    Jess, i do not know what to do.. my mind was messed up.. how come he states that he loves you for sure but unsure if he wants to spend the rest of life with you?? what do you think?

  1383. #1383 by Jess on March 8, 2010 - 4:36 pm

    saggi girl,

    Calm down a bit. I see how you must feel sad and insecure because of this BUT I agree with him. I’m sorry but what your guy told you is the truth and very objective (perhaps too objective to tell it right out and I’m sure not every women can take this with understanding) I’m sure even if it was me being told on my face my spirit would be down also.

    But saggi girl, don’t forget that Taurus can be TOO OBJECTIVE sometimes. They are too objective that it blinds their heart for too many times and I think that’s why Taurus take longer time than other sign in falling in love. They busy focusing too much on reality/reason/sensible/logic everything but what their heart is calling for and until they can’t fight it anymore.

    No need to feel sad saggi girl, he is actually showing you a way to get him for good. Now that you know his way of thinking about settling down, (which is: only love is not enough) what he think about love vs marriage. You can work on a way to make him feel he can’t live without you.

    saggi girl, the night that my guy told me he loves me and asked me to be his gf, I told him I was scared. He said he is too (i pick up on this one that even I show him constantly for a year that I’m into him he still have this fear feeling!) and he also said “do not scared or worry too much, just because I love you doesn’t mean I want to marry you”. Saggi girl, honestly I didn’t feel bad at all and I actually agree with him. But you know saggi girl, I’ll make him wanting to marry me! hahaha! I know I can work on my charm and as you see Taurus is so direct (they even told you even what you don’t want to hear with no sugar coating) so it’s like they been giving us trick and tip on what the think and I will use the truth he told me to work on him!

    So don’t feel bad saggi girl, I know you feel sensitive now but try ok? try look at this from the other point of view and please please DO NOT let your sensitivity go down too low that it becomes drama….LOL. Saggi girl, surprise him ok? he must think you must get emotional and act different next time so surprise him! And let’s work on our Taurus together! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Cheer up!

  1384. #1384 by saggi girl on March 8, 2010 - 6:17 pm

    hi Jess,

    thanks for your quick response and i was like waiting for you all the way…
    i understand what you are saying.. but it was so hurtful when he said that to my face. why he does not tell me right now he does not want to be with me in the future. Why tells me that he loves me but at the same time that he does not want to marry you or at least give you word that he is sure of you in his future. i do not know what area he was so unsure of me.. and i do not know how to work it out to make him to be sure of me..

    I was feeling so hurt inside now and sometimes i felt that he was playing a game with me.. especially when he said that he wants me to give him a deadline for 6 months.. how could you be so sure what you want with me within 6 months when we have spent 2 years together.. then i told him that i already knew that he does not want to be with me.. then he questioned that if he already knew he does not want to be with me now, he should have gone already.. why he confuses me?? if he does not want to be with me, why not say it? why set up 6 months deadline to play with? buy him more time to see someone else?? or buy him more time to ease the transition for breakup?

    sorry, jess, i was just so mad now..felt like that i was being played and he does not love me as he said that he does..

  1385. #1385 by Jane on March 8, 2010 - 7:55 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi saggi girl, hey read your post and I would feel just the very same as you and be asking all same questions you do, Does he really love me? How can he say 6months deadline? Surely he should know now if he wants me forever or not?!!!!

    I understand your feelings completely, BUT, oh yes there is a โ€˜butโ€™ here!! Saggi its like I said to you awhile ago, it is so different and easy to give opinion/advice when it not directly happening to you! Right!? So while I know for sure if this was me I would be saying what you say word for word, what advise would you be saying to me!? You may see different if you picture someone else to help you see understanding saggi and hereโ€™s the โ€˜butโ€™ I was talking aboutโ€ฆ.. Jess has a valid point for sure!!! When we look at these Taurus guys and their behaviour, the practical, objective way they do stuff is it really any wonder he responded to you the way he did. We know when its stuff to do with their โ€˜heartโ€™ they oh so very protective and guarded, anything else they tell you straight!!
    You know that already saggi donโ€™t you?

    Another good point there from Jess is you can turn this around to make him never be able to visualise his life without you! YES YOU CAN DO THAT!!!
    He said it to you, โ€˜if he didnโ€™t love you or want to be with you he would have already leftโ€™. I think once your guy new how your family feel about things he felt obliged to โ€˜let you off the hookโ€™ (if you know what I mean) Give you the option to leave but hey what is very interesting to me saggi is, he said 6months!! So he does not want you to leave, do you see that. He is just clearly letting you know that at this very moment he not ready for marriage, he not saying never.
    Saggi girl, as Jess said get that charm of yours fired up and let this Taurus dude have it!!! Lol

    You know it will be worth it in the end!! Goodness we know getting these bulls is not an easy task!! PHEW!!!

  1386. #1386 by saggi girl on March 8, 2010 - 8:26 pm

    Jane,

    thanks for your encouraging word.. it means a lot to me especially at this moment….

    sometimes, i would think that he has no intention to have a real relationship with me since the begining but for some reason he hangs in there with me… i do not know what you would do if you were me.. will you hang in there for a long time to wait…especially after he told you that he was not sure of you in the future.. then i was like if you are sure of me in your future, why you stay with me?? why not break up with me? after 2 years, you still tell me that you are not sure of me.. what a BS.

    sorry, i was just being mad at myself for being a fool like that. he shows me that he cares about me but right now i doubted if it was ever existed. sorry, i was not very clearhead now. still mad at what he told me… i was stubborn sometimes too with my own thought.. i can not get pass it.

  1387. #1387 by Jane on March 8, 2010 - 9:10 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hey you have every right to feel hurt and angry as you do saggi, especially after 2 years together.
    When you feel a little calmer the whole picture will be a little easier for you to see I am sure. You know when we take a look at Taurus men , I mean they really are not like the usual kind of men!! They really are different, suppose thatโ€™s what draws us in to them! So my point is (which you already know!) Your guy would not have stayed 2 years if he had no real intention, he would have his pick of woman, he pick โ€˜youโ€™. Oh he not going to be verbal and tell you it, no, that would make him like all other guys! No these guys do things waaaay different!!! As we well know!! lol

    I honestly think your guy was thinking of you when he carried on his chat about deadline/6months because of your family pressure, all he said before yes he thinking of himself with the โ€˜not ready stuffโ€™. He being honest with you and it such a good thing saggi that he able to discuss that way with you. Oh they can be so blunt and not care we hurt by those bullshit way they express themselves! They mean no harm really..!

    What would I do if I where you!!?? I would feel exactly the same as you do, really I would, I am not going to lie to you, then I would look at the advice and inner thought you and jess would give me, calm myself down and figure out my way to make sure this guy wants me sooner than he thinks!!!
    He shows you he cares about you and you know it. Saggi girl I actually believe these Taurus guys (your especially after 2years) know now that you figure in his future, he just not ready, therefore doesnโ€™t see the point to tell you anything yet as their practical objective side of their nature kicks in and prevents them doing so.

    Saggi girl, it will be ok for sure, he loves you, you love him, relax take it day by day, you can get past this and show your bull!!
    We all here to help, donโ€™t forget that x

  1388. #1388 by saggi girl on March 8, 2010 - 10:15 pm

    Jane,

    i really hope that we are the neighbours or friends that we can see in person..It will be great that we offer each other advice like this. thank you, Jane. you are my rock and i feel a little bit better… as i got myself dizzy by thinking this whole thing over and over again.. my very close coworker told me that my bull does not want to get married. period. He failed the first one and does not want to get marry again. he just wanted to stay with me but no intention with any commitment attached.. my head was spinning around with those words.. i even called for dating services that i signed up for a year ago to activate the referral for me..i do not know what to do for now.. what you are saying makes sense to me.

    I guess i might need to see someone else and to get myself ready for the heart broken in 6 months… I need to prepare for that as a smooth transition for myself.. so when he broke up with me in 6 months, i won’t be too devastated. do you think so???
    It was just too much for me to handle and i have to pretend that i was happy to be with him when i prepared myself to be heartbroken on the side. Oh, Lord…..
    i do not even know how to face him again when we see each other during the weekend or when he calls me tomorrow..
    thanks Jane…i really hope you are here physically with me, so we can cheer each other up.. or encourage each other to step forward either with bull or without.

  1389. #1389 by Lioness on March 8, 2010 - 11:10 pm

    Hello Girls,
    Jane and Saggi am reading your posts am sorry Saggi to hear what is going on…… I dont know what it is with some of these Taurus men and 6 months and the time seems to be up! Mine was telling me he was thinking about leaving this woman in May which I don;t understand at all I guess it would be 6 months for him and the time is up not sure……. I am totally acting like a friend to him and it is getting him so upset and it really is bothering him that I am treating him as such…. I told him I was gracefully bowing out and he can have this woman and the family…… He wasnt too happy about it he thought I threw him away but he still keeps on coming back. I talked to him for 7 hours on Saturday I dont know what is going on with him at all….. I noticed on his FB page that he had a pic of him and his gf together now it is just him for some reason lol I know that he is unhappy in his situation but he made his choice and I am looking for other opportunities elsewhere. He still cant be himself with me he has to hide behind a name and he knows that I know its him and he keeps at it…….. Another thing is he gets so mad when he thinks he is being played or he feels like he is a joke to me but yet he can do the same to me and I told him this….. Things are starting to come together I think he hates the friends thing, he hates that I talk to other men he sits back and watches my every move it is funny to me because I am starting to lose interest because of this whole charade……… A friend of mine told me that men get with other women to test out the woman they are truly interested in they want to make sure she will stick around and not leave. I am somewhat happy to hear that as I figured that is what he was doing all along……Thats why he told a friend of mine to wait on him so its beginning to all fit together……… I think that he liked this woman thought it was love but in reality it was lust all along I think he moved in with her to make me mad and also to test me out. I think he also was trying to save up some money as well and he could do this with a roomate. So I am just sitting back and going w the flow he thinks I will go off on him because of his situation I have before because I wanted to be with him and he is w that woman……. Now I really could care less and I am just being non chalant to him and acting like I really dont care about things……….. Saggi Jane is right these taurus men dont invest in women for that long for no reason he loves you I am sure of it……Have you ever thought he could be testing out your co-workers motives to see if she could be trusted??? He tells her things to see if she would go back and tell you? My taurus man did that to my friend he even went to the extremes of asking her out to see what kind of friend she was to me…… Thats how they work things I have noticed….Mia I am so proud of you keep up the good work with your taurus it sounds to me like he is definately coming around! Mine just txt me on his alias the friends thing is eating him up he is getting so jealous he told me to have a good time tonight with my bf or friend I dont even have one lmao The jealousy is just coming through and I am loving it lol….I asked him why he had to be like this he says he was teasing his friend so I told him well there is nothing wrong w that and have a great time w the family you make a great suburban dad!!! LOL I cant believe myself sometimes what comes out of my mouth lol
    anyway girls good luck w these fellows they will definately try to get the best of you so keep your chins up!!! xoxo Lioness

  1390. #1390 by Jess on March 9, 2010 - 12:53 am

    saggi girl,

    I’m sorry you feel so bad but I still confirm by my word that I feel and think your Taurus is genuinely concern about you. I would rather have a guy telling me like this than keep feeding me sugar but in the mind hiding issue waiting to leave me someday.

    Remember you mention about your conflict with your parents because of him and I think that’s the reason why he mention this 6 months time frame as an idea offering you an alternative way for your own good because it’s common sense if by the time of 6 months you can’t say whether you want to be with a person or not, you got a problem. But hey according to me 6 months is not justified, I would give it a year because you must not forget also that you keep having little fights and drama here and there… may be like once in 2 months…. sorry saggi girl but you need to be calm and secure BY YOURSELF and not only seek it in him.

    Look at me, I have been dating my guy for over a year and I have NEVER even once told him that I love him. I’m much slower than him which is a Taurus. If you were him you must get insecure you must think you have no future with me?

    Be confident that your guy love you, and even suggest this crazy thought it is out of well meaning. Everything start from your attitude and perception. You know the guy you know what kind of person and the heart and mind he has. You must believe he is not fooling you.

    I wish I have could say it better to sooth your soul and make you feel good again but saggi girl I’m the same kind of person like your guy (but i’m much much softer and sweet version hehe) I can only and would rather give you the hard truth than comfort you with sugar day dream.

    Be confident and make it happens.

  1391. #1391 by Jane on March 9, 2010 - 6:44 am

    Saggi girl

    Hey, saggi how great that would be if we get to meet, friends neighbours!! That would be dream come true all round! Hee hee

    Thank you for your sweet words you say, we help each other and be each other rock for sure!!!
    Your guy is bound to feel cautious and nervous around marriage as he has a marriage fail before, that is so understandable that he does not want things to fail again, he wants to be really sure and how great that its you he wants to make sure it work better with!!?

    โ€ฆ.โ€™I guess I may need to see someone elseโ€™โ€ฆ. Saggi, you are feeling hurt and that attitude I fully understand but it is not going to get you what you want, you are hurt, you love him, donโ€™t let this push him away. Look at what he has said, I mean really look, understand him, of course its ok to tell him your fears too but give him your understanding that way you become more of the woman he wants. Of course you have to be real and honest too, but I know you love each other and can over come this for sure.

    I know you feeling unsure, this is YOUR guy saggi, you know him you are not going to let this go, so when you feel a little stronger with this, pick yourself up and get that wonderful charm of yours o work! When you next see him he will see a woman he wants to be with, you can make sure of that!!
    Donโ€™t be sad, just remember how he is, how he does things and how he means no harm, he loves you. Donโ€™t lose focus. Yes of course we encourage each other all the way!!! Hugs Saggi x

  1392. #1392 by Mia on March 9, 2010 - 8:36 am

    Saggi, ah sweet saggi,

    I read your posts and sweet Jane, Jess.. Lioness, you sweet too and will read ur in a moment;)

    I see more posts! ah…

    here is the first part of mine to you Saggi…

    Saggi, of course i agree with Jane and Jess, you need to assure urself first that you my dearest are a gorgeous, most beautiful treasure that you are. And I KNOW YOU ARE. I can assure you this. If this man walks off after 6 months, I promise you he did not deserve you in the first place. You have my total support and much love around that fact. in ur head, you are shocked, disillusioned that he could even say such a thing to you… ??? after 2 years??? you are like, “are you kidding me” you just took a gun and shot down my beautiful bubble i have nurtured and given my heart and soul out for 2 years, the most precious Saggi within my heart i have entrusted unto you…

    oh how i so know… i actually have tears for you now… cuz i am thinking of my last guy (2 yrs, a taurus, yup) and the guy before that (5 yrs) and now a yr when I WASN’T EVEN IN THE MARKET yet, my guy now has totally stolen my heart.

    you do need to mourn but not tell him for ur emotions just come, u can’t control them. ur family is heartbroken for u, yet u want their love and support for the one u choose to love, and now u listen to his words, the one man u trust and choose over ur families’ wishes? u feel betrayed by him i am sure. So to Jane’s point, I would feel EXACTLY as you do…. posing the same questions, telling him about how ur family is disappointed u love someone who can’t guarantee ur future…
    and ur friend “ain’t” much help either, i so know. i have a dear co-worker too that told me my sweet “m” would NEVER come back to me. oh she meant well, she is precious and i still talk with her about ‘m’… lol… but honey i so know it is like adding salt to ur wound when she told u he will never marry again.

    Okay, allow urself time to sink in and nurture ur fresh “wounds” and u MUST PAMPER urself. yup, i sooooo wish u, Jane, Lionsroar, Lioness and Jess and moi lived very close!!! lol… wow, that would be a hoot! u are like me days ago, u can’t seem to function without reading some encouragement for ur situation, u are so precious, hugging u now.

  1393. #1393 by Mia on March 9, 2010 - 8:54 am

    Here is the 2nd part of my post to you….
    Saggi,

    Jess is correct when I used to think like you. Being in love with someone does not equate wanting to have a future with them. it is just another stage of love. yup, “stage” i am back to reading the men and women in dating mars/venus book. the next stage is sealing the deal. so wow, you could not be any closer!!! u are waaay more ahead of the stages of love than me!!! geez, i can’t get my guy past uncertainty much less wanting to go on another date with me! ha! and i’m like loving him at this point.

    but remember, i think for u to hang in there, u need to pull back to match his stage of love. because in essence, you have more reason (like ur guy says) to be more attracted to him than him attracted to you.

    we want what we can’t have. men especially. so think about ur situation for a moment. u say he is still married? marriage over, but the paperwork has not gone thru, or if he has taken steps to divorce? when he becomes released from his marriage, he will see u in a different light, i think perhaps a better light. from what i read, a taurus will think more clearly when their issues are dealt with, financial, or any problem they are trying to solve. so remember this has NOTHING to do with u. however u can be responsible for NOT allowing urself to become more self absorbed to shift ur thinking to this..

    try to shift ur thinking in increasing his attraction toward you, rather pouring so much energy and ‘karma’ into how can u keep him from deciding to leave you. ur shift in thinking is back to where it belongs, on urself! Ur choice precious Saggi, not his…

    guys can sense when we want them so much, and actually it kills their attraction to us, slowly in time which hits us gals between the eyes because we have no idea, then they break up for now reason that we can think of???

    how do you do this? by reversing ur thinking. instead of thinking how can i get him to stay with me, think how can i get to know more about myself so i can disern whether this guy is really for me or not? can he really make me happy? (yes, i know we create our own… but you understand the gest)
    I wonder what all he can offer me? I wonder if he can handle supporting my decisions, even if he may not totally agree with them as I would give him the same respect and trust, I wonder if I can be around him long enough to see if I can handle all his moods and how he gets along with others in front of me? I wonder if I can trust he will support me in a loving way no matter what any time day or night? … hm, you get the drift…

    I think I might agree with him… say you have been doing some thinking and you think that is a good idea.. I would also say, I think you are also right about the fact that YOU can’t be CERTAIN your feelings are truly genuine for him since his marital status is not totally resolved… that in 6 months, you do not want to hold him up in his life, and that YOU my precious Saggi are needing this timeframe to tell him whether or not YOU are sure of this love… that you are now beginning to feel a little unsure too…

    that is where he stops and goes… “woaaaaa” something isn’t right here… i have my ex who i still care about and hanging on to (for whatever reason), and got saggi here who i have won her heart over, in the bag here… and she adores me… but now saggi is feeling unsure? ah… i’m confused? and she did not answer my text when i wished her a good nite… i had better get into action for her love least i loose her, what if someone were to swoop her up, oh i need to do what i can so saggi will never leave me! …

  1394. #1394 by Mia on March 9, 2010 - 9:01 am

    Here is the 3rd part of my post to you….

    Sweet Saggi, I would think on this and get busy with ur immediate goals, is ur job pay where you want it? are u satisfied with your beautiful new “abode” or are you thinking about painting one of the rooms, get creative and enjoy the process!

    Know you may not can change your guy, however, I do think you have strong convictions that you are living by in your own private mind on how you may be thinking, why doesn’t he just go on and get a divorce and let’s get on with this…

    Please do not take this the wrong way, because I believe your parents love you dearly and I do believe they are right on their stance. They see you with this man for 2 yrs and he is still married, their conclusion, pretty logical, it appears he does not have intentions with you in his future… I am not saying he will not, he may indeed, but this is how it appears to your parents.

    Also I find something he mentioned to you…. you say that your guy said he still cares for his “ex wife” who is not officially his ex wife yet, that he does not see his marriage as an issue. I am sooo sorry however i beg to differ. even if he is separated, even if he is not living with her… he is not living with her? ouch. so sorry if he is… you say he still wants her safe and sound, and that he will be in contact for the rest of his life with her??? do they have children together? hmmmm…

    my last taurus was married then divorced before i met him, and had NO DESIRE to ever be in contact with his ex wife… there was not an issue with us there at all. I knew not of her or what she looked like, nothing…

    I feel for you dear sweet Saggi. I would be doing the exact same thing, thinking about dating to “silent” the blow in case he breaks up with you, oh you are so me!! my guy even told me to calm down today, i get too rialed up! lol… we have been arguing, but i am hanging in there and determined to bring that “karma” back to me!

    we need to remember DO NOT TAKE WHAT THEY SAY PERSONALLY… my guy disillusions me all the time with hurtful words even accusing me of lying today… just because another “gal pal” called him about me, geez. lol… are you kidding me? the guy that is supposedly dating me respecting other gals over the one he dates??? i DID hold to my convictions and I did not respond to the text. I swallowing my anger, I bit my tongue, and through grinched teeth with a few tears to boot I spoke with him over the phone that I can’t believe he would ever think me LYING TO HIM. EVER. ohhhhh honey, he apologized and kept telling me to calm down he didn’t mean it! yup. you see??? “wishy washy” mia when you corner me and you accuse me of compromising my CORE VALUES, MY BELIEFS, nope, you shall NOT get away with that, to side with a friend (a gal friend) over the one you date? are you kidding me? i almost said you do not deserve to date me, and i choose not to date those who think I lie. but i did not. i just need to back off.

  1395. #1395 by Mia on March 9, 2010 - 9:07 am

    Yup, 4th part of my post to you….
    Saggi, sweet Saggi,

    so know I am going through this too. My guy could break it off with me any moment now cuz I am so in a mode of how can i keep him??? he senses this and it is killing his attraction to me… i will now switch modes to hm, can he really make me feel great about myself? and what if the guy i saw today about the team really wants to ask me out?

    yup, i had a feeling this would come about when i get around guys…. i have not been around ANY men since i have been with my guy…. now that my guy is still gal paling with the same gal, i am wondering what is going to happen when i get asked out… i sense about 2 maybe 3 guys may try to ask me out! lol, ah! i have not thought about this… but if my guy is taking me for granted, it isn’t until they almost loose you that they start to know how they really feel about you….

    we’ll see… You pull yourself up Sweet Saggi, YOU Can! You are strong!!!

    Know we are here for you!!!!

    All love and kisses for you!
    Mia xoxoxox

  1396. #1396 by Mia on March 9, 2010 - 9:38 am

    Saggi,

    I just thought of one other fact about how differently men and women think… (okay, it is the cool book again! lol and Jane! I am going to have to stop that freaking rowing! lollllllll oh i will, he can find his gal pal for the emotional blanks not me! i must allow his will to choose to hang around whomever he pleases, i must stop my karma that says control “m”s actions to not be around her… i did that very thing tonight, it was sweet, very very hard to do but you would be oh so proud of me!!! tell you lata! )

    Remember, a man will not stay with a woman when he thinks he does not have what it takes to make her happy. And the woman, well, she is the one that likes to “fix” him, she is wired to stay one step ahead of him and keep him from keeping the waters calm, not causing any rocking of that boat, rowing the boat to keep those emotional blanks filled in, anticipating his every need and fulfilling it before he even knows and he then wonders why he does not feel any love for her anymore, no attraction to her anymore… hm? but really “don’t forget ur keys Winnefred!” “don’t spill that beer I just had the carpet cleaned Wilbur!” lol… women nurture then sound like the guy’s mom… ugh.

    so Saggi, don’t be sad, or depressed sounding (er… like i have the past few days with my guy! lol ) get happy for you have made a very wise decision, a very smart one!! you should be happy! you have reached a milestone… stay very calm, even keeled, and be nice and supportive to him, happy for him encouraging but your stance has just made you EQUAL in his eyes where you should be… parallel to him, you both complement, not him up there, you down there, or vice versa.

    you are a highly intelligent, wise, very smart woman who is making a few goals in your life and for your future. he is considering his religious convictions and thinking on judiasm. that is something that would weigh heavy on your mind. when i think of his situation i wonder how he can have a clear mind to think when his personal life is still in limbo (his marriage? and now his strong love for you? and on top of that, him about to change into a new religion? ) so sorry i do not mean to judge at all… i know you love him dearly, and he sounds like an extremely smart man, he loves you dearly saggi I do know that… and i don’t want you to think for a second that you won’t have him for the rest of your life, because that is positive thinking, but you still need to consider the rest of your life without him too, cuz you can if you had to.

    your mind shift will indeed draw him back into you… you stay busy and happy to hear from him but mark off those 6 months in the back of your mind… and keep your mind open, and you stay around people in your life that bring you up not down. people that love and support you!

    hugs, mia xoxoxoxoxo ^ – ^

  1397. #1397 by Mia on March 9, 2010 - 10:25 am

    Lioness,

    You hit the nail on the head… we do need to keep our chins up, “look alive” because our taurus men will try to get the best of us!!!! woah that is a mouthful sooooooooo true!!!!!

    my guy did not want to play on this team thingee i am getting together but wants to be the manager and since i am the one getting all together i spoke with a few people and he is now manager. i was texting him how much i appreciate his help and leadership and his next text was accusing me of lying… i was like, hm… the nicer i am to him, the more venom spews from his words… i can see that so clearly now… he just said something like ‘ i do not think “c” told you to collect checks to you ‘ that was his reply to my text, “thank you so much “m” for agreeing to be manager. appreciate your help and leadership. bless u.” and he texts back with the above statement… thinking i am telling him a lie about something someone told me about collecting checks from someone?

    remember this sweet Lioness, I am learning this too. Taurus have a very hard time with their emotions and with also getting their specific thoughts down on paper… you see my taurus was not trying to tell me i was lying… because when i called him he said, ‘oh “r” called me and asked about what mia is doing collecting money, blah blah” i like her, she meant well, but he ALWAYS takes other people’s opinions and sides over mine… like we are in competition? excuse me? that text infuriated me, i was like “excuse me? are you calling me a liar? is this the man that is dating me??? who the he** are you, i know not who you are. no man i would date would ever consider talking to me this way.” i did not text that…. but i did say as much on the phone, or at least almost… he apologized told me to calm down… itsn’t it funny? mine will tell me to calm down (ok sometimes he is right) but a lot of the time it is HIM who is antsy not me…

    i do think he is apprehensive about being manager of the team. i do think he will have a very hard time with me around so many guys… hm…… smile. i will not flirt. i don’t want to run him off, ii just want him to not treat me with disrespect or take me for granted.

    yesterday, oh yesterday Lioness, and Jane, jess and saggi, he was texting me and calling me all day asking if “c” could play… telling me to call her, texting me, like he was obssessed over her… he had gone to church and i know probably sat by her or near her then went to eat with her and group… i heard her voice in background calling him… i would die if they were in one car… then last night he kept telling me to call her again even after i had called her cell and home and left messages about the team, what more can i do… she should have contacted me days ago when i pushed out the email for all to call me if they want to play? he was being so protective of her, it is killing me. like she does not have a brain. he is loving it you see… he wants to get me jealous one more time… he keeps telling me i am a jealous person… today i get her payment from her house and give her my extra equipment… ( just thinking i am glad cuz i would have dropped “m” if he had given her his stuff, oh i would have been floored if he had done that… he is giving his equipment to another gal pal… lol )

    then tonight i have the sign up sheet for him and instead of meeting me he tells me to go to gal pal and put in her mailbox and he will get on his way to work next day…

    first i said oh noooooooo…. and texted, it’s ok… then he texted i don’t see what the big deal is i go right by her house to work, blah blah… then i think really it ain’t no thang… so i called and said yes i will… he again kept telling me to stop making a big deal out of things or that he will not be manager…

    do you see something… do you see how he is being mean to me and seems to enjoy taking something i would never want and using it against me… like if i don’t stop being jealous he will break up with me… no he did break up with me but then changed the subject quickly, or try to …

    but I think he was at this store with her late last night and it is killing me… when i called her i think i heard his voice in the background… oh that is more than i can stomach, knowing he spent the entire day with her… but then he gets on messenger with me planning out camping trips for the summer, acting so respectful to me…

    so tonight i said, actually this is a super idea! yes i will put this in her mailbox.

    Saggi if you are reading this… agreeing with him.. should be fun! support, in a loving way

    Mia xoxoxox

  1398. #1398 by Mia on March 9, 2010 - 10:46 am

    Lioness,

    oh just remembered this.. he seems to text me questioning me whenever he is around his gal pal.. he does this… he was with her i think and text me again… you are saying that the games will start first wkend april ? i know he was with her… but did not know this until i called her…

    i texted back, ‘yes that is correct.’ he was trying to catch me in a lie so he could say get ur facts straight before you send out wrong info to people. yup that is how he treats me sometimes, pitiful.

    so i text him later that i called “gal pal” once more and she agreed to play!

    you see when he messaged me, i think he felt a tinge of guilt because i am betting he was with her at the store she was at when i did call her… you see… i am doing JUST THE opposite. i am agreeing with his time with gal pal, not putting up a fight… even when he finds every opportunity like tonight to add and keep him a part of his life.

    i am almost to the point now of just saying you know what, seems you are a bit undecided here, let me help you with your decision. tootles.

    i am like saggi i need a transition man… lolllllllll… i really do not want one, just “m” but if he sees that i am not phased by his behavior no matter what.. maybe he will be scared to loose me to another man when they do start asking me out.. i can think of 3 guys on this team that are already expressing interest…

    the man i met tonight for his check to play told me all about his life and asking about me and my life… he was the one in a hurry originally!!!! and then apologized for keeping me as he just could not stop talking about his life and asking me about mine for like 30 minutes… and get this!!!! i had to end my call with “m” when pulling up to let him know i had to speak with the guy i was meeting with and would have to call him back… nice… he didn’t seem too phased…. but this team stuff is really getting to him he is so rialed up. because it is the first time he will see me interact with men… gal pal will be on team too… i will keep you posted…

    sending hugs to you! mia xoxoxoxox

  1399. #1399 by saggi girl on March 9, 2010 - 3:37 pm

    Jess,
    thanks for your thought on my issue and for being there for me at this moment.

    I agree with you that we keep having little fight and drama here and there, actually it was not like once in 2 months, most recently it was like almost every weekend whenever we see each other.. that is why he blurted out one time when we had another fight on valentine’s day that he wants to end it… it was too much fight and he was not happy and i seem obviously not happy with him either.. but he took it back later when i explained why i was so emotional as i spent my traditional holiday on my own handling some touch stuff… then he calmed down and said that he did not know it was my country’s traditional holiday.. i know he has a very soft heart, that is the quality that i like about.. he has a tough outside but inside he was soft if i am being resonable… but he said that he felt bad whenever he saw me crying in front of him because he can not meet my need… but he said he did his best..

    i do not know, i am still messed up.. but a little bit more calm than yesterday but i did not show it to him at all.. he texted me last night like” good night baby with kisses. be safe tomorrow.” i waited like 15 minutes to text him back like” thanks baby. sweet dreams with kisses..” i am sure that he is going to call me tonight as that is our rountine… i do not know how to react on the phone, should i sound like nothing happened? or be cold? i do not know as i do not know how to pretend.. but i told myself this morning that i am going to make myself secure first .. what he was saying is true that woman need to feel secure from inside herself but not depend on a man to give her security..

    right now, I know what you mean that a taurus man talks in a objective way when i told him that my parents want to go back to my homecounty to stay with them.. he told me on that day that if we work it out, then i stay in this country, but if we did not work it out, then he was sure that i can find a decent guy as i was very good girl with all the good qualities.. when he said that, i felt a little bit sour, but i guess he was just saying something in general…like you said when your taurus jokly said to you that ” your future boyfriend, your future husband, Blah Blah..” before you become official.. but you act in a very cool manner and did not take it personal at all…. but i think it was me, i will make a drama out of it.. thinking that he has already decided that he is not going to be my boyfriend or husband… i do not know, i guess i do need to work to make myself secure within…not depending on his word…he must be feeling tired by my such expectation..
    one thing that i need to share with you is one time we were eating together, he told me that his company fired the office secretary.. then he was like” she was so cool, you know, she never take the shit from anyone especially from all of the guys in the office, but she has an argument with the boss, that was not a smart move.. but when i found out , i went in to the boss and kind of jokingly asked him, oh, baby,do not be mad at me as i said something to the boss, but i was only joking ok? i did not mean it. ” then i was like” what was it?” then he was continuing his conversation like” i went in to the boss and asked him ” where is the secetary? you know, i am in love with her.. shit, too bad, my love was gone..” after he told me that, i felt bad, i was not that bad or that jealous not to understand he was joking.. i do not know what kind of image i gave it to him.. but based on how he said it to me, i guess he did not think that i was cool..
    Jess, sorry for being too wordy.. thanks for your patience.

    Jane,

    i am so thankful for your being supportive to me.. when i woke up this morning, i told myself to keep my option open without him being aware of.. as i can not wait for him to judge if he wants me or not.. but i guess whatever the way i am going to carry on, i need to feel secure about myself… that is my issue..i might need to read some books in regards to that.. as dating other people is not gonna fix my insecure problem, but at the point, i will work on my guy and at the same time, i will work on myself too.. but i was still considering keep my option open… this way, i won’t focus too much on him.. anymove he makes won’t affect me too much in a way that i used to feel.

    How was your guy doing? was he back yet? haven’t talked to you in regard to your situation for a few days due to my messed-up head..

    thank you All.

  1400. #1400 by saggi girl on March 9, 2010 - 3:50 pm

    Mia,

    thanks for taking your precious time to responde to my issue especially when you have some issue to deal with..

    I was not feeling bad that he was in touch with his ex.. as that is the reason i like him( he has a good heart).. i have to admit that i was jealous of that sometimes, but i understand his concern towards her as they have been with each other for 12 years.. it was not a short time in life. his ex wife knows me, as sometimes, i passed some job leads to her when she was looking for job. She was a great woman and has a good heart, but for some reason, they can not be together anymore, but it does not mean they can not be friend… i know everyone is different on this ex issue, but i am ok with the way he was handling.. they talked once or twice a month, there is even a time when she called him… he asked if i will be ok for him to answer her phone in front of me, then i normally said yes.. but it does not happen very often and i respect that..

    Mia, i agree with you that i need to work on myself first as i was not really feeling secure no matter whatever he does…i was making drama out out my insecurity without realization. I will learn to calm down when it comes to decision, as i was not normally making right decision when i was in a panic stage or not in a stage of suring of myself..

    I am determined to leave my option open at this moment.. and work on myself at the same time.

  1401. #1401 by Lioness on March 9, 2010 - 4:25 pm

    Mia,
    I hope everything is going well, I do agree that your man is trying to make you jealous and he is testing you out. I also think that he feels guilty for what he is doing. My taurus man was the same way before he would go out on dates or etc. he would txt me and talk for a few min and then he would be on his way. I remember leaving one night and it was raining he was leaving to go somewhere and he was ahead of me running. I was parked next to him and I saw him leave. He just sat in his car for a min and I didnt look at him didnt say nothing to him. He then left and left myself…….. I was gone for about an hour and when I came back he was home… he had all intentions of going out as well he was dressed up and probably going out to the bar…….. I was quite suprised what kind of a hold I had on him back then……….These men work behind the scenes they want to know all about you before they make up their minds…… I just give mine his space anymore I try not to txt him unless he txt me…….. He plays games with me to find out about me without me knowing its him all along. Taurus men dont go after something or mess with people for no reason. They also like to use others to get what they want in life from what I read. I am still holding on to some hope that my taurus will come after me I have no doubts that he loves me otherwise he wouldnt feel guilty for what he is doing……. I wish you girls the Best!!! xoxo Lioness

  1402. #1402 by Jane on March 9, 2010 - 6:49 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi saggi girl, hey you sound much more positive and that is so good, it will help you clear your head and yes working on โ€˜youโ€™ can never be a bad thing eh!!?

    I think you are doing a good thing, step back from situation, calm things down in your head and not over analyse things! (Goodness I do that so bad!) That way you are taking care of you, and then the rest will surly follow. Just remember he loves you and you both have come so far. If he didnโ€™t want you in his future he would not have stayed this long, especially when you guys have had your โ€˜dramasโ€™ he has stayed beside you and you worked it out together, and you will this time saggi. Keep positive.

    As for my guy, well itโ€™s the 9th day since he went on holiday (oh yes I am counting!)
    I have not heard a single word from him!!! I am so disappointed but really do believe that being a โ€˜self involved Taurusโ€™ that he would not even see the point in getting in touch as for him, he is away on holiday so why bother saying โ€˜hiโ€™ or asking how I am coz he couldnโ€™t do anything anyway!!! I do think that, well it makes me feel better thinking that way anyway!! I have never been in this situation before, so it has been hard to know how to โ€˜beโ€™ you know text not text!!!

    It is so hard and I miss him so much, he is back the week end, just hope heโ€™s missing me too and gets in touch, or would he wait for me to get in touch!!!???
    Thank you Saggi girl, we support each other and like you I am grateful too x

  1403. #1403 by saggi girl on March 9, 2010 - 7:14 pm

    Hi Jane,

    if i were you, i might send a message to him just to say “hi”, but you know how bulls are, they are not the normal man that we know.. so if he does not reply, you will fee down.. so this way you are setting yourself for drama.. so, just hang in there for now, if you really want to send a “hi” note, you can, but be prepared that he might not responde.. and you are ok with it.. do you understand what i am trying to say??

    If he comes back contacting you from his side, you will fee good as that is a sure sign from him that he misses you.. not responding to your note based on courtesy..

    He is going to come back this weekend, it is a good thing. i am going to install the wireless internet tonight, so i can come here more ofen even after work.. we can support each other more.. LOL

    yeah, i am ok for now.. i think i have some insecurity issue with myself that i carried in to the relationship.. i just read an article that a woman was seeking for help as she was constantly looking for a sign from her boyfriend if he really loves her or not. some of the symptoms are like” if he does not kiss her before they parted their way, she would think something is wrong, if he texted her by not saying sweet word like” babe”, she felt something is wrong; if he did not reply to her text, she felt like he has someone else? ” those are all the symptoms that i have… Jesus, i need to work on myself instead of working on him.. i am not saying that it will guarantee to bring the positive outcome for our relationship, but it will be good for me in the long run.. don’t you agree??

  1404. #1404 by Lioness on March 9, 2010 - 7:16 pm

    well girls I did it I got on yahoo and I put every single one of my taurus mans aliases or names on ignore….. I have simply had enough he goes on to tell me under a different name how much he loves me then says he has to go to a meeting at noon I am thinking to myself wtf who is going to have a meeting at noon I am not buying it at all…….. I know he probably went to go have lunch w the live in girl is more like it…….. So I am done for sure till he can be a man and grow a pair and talk to me himself instead of hiding out……… which I know will never happen….. so I am going to explore my other options hopefully I dont run into another taurus man………
    Goodluck girls….. Lioness

  1405. #1405 by Jane on March 9, 2010 - 7:48 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi saggi, thank you yes I realise if I text and he doesnโ€™t reply I will feel worse!!

    I was thinking too if I was to text him now after 9days it may look to him like I only texting as he nearly due back!! If that makes sense!!??

    As much as I would love to text him say hi whatever, if he didnโ€™t reply then I would feel like I couldnโ€™t text again and have to wait for him then, this way I could text him day after he back and say hi, that may get me a response!! Lol What do you think!? Knowing him he may leave it a day or two after he is back!! OMG!!!! That would not feel good.

    Hey that be great that you getting internet at home so we can be in touch more!!! Oh I will be hounding you saggi!!!! LOL (oh I am just kidding!!) but still so great!

    Saggi I smiled so much when you said you reading woman article about woman constantly looking for sign from boyfriend, well I related to that so much because not only do I analyse EVERYTHING!!! From every angle too, I do things likeโ€ฆ..โ€™oh he only put one kiss on text this time!? OR โ€˜he hasnโ€™t called me by little pet names for a whileโ€™ OR โ€˜he hasnโ€™t text me good morning as usualโ€™ !!!!!!!!!! I am a nutter!!! LOL

    So I guess I have little insecurities of my own too! It is not so much that it worries me, its just I look for a reason behind it and sometimes there just isnโ€™t a reason its just โ€˜HIMโ€™ hee hee

    I do agree saggi that whatever the outcome working on you, will never fail to be a good thing and as you progress through further into your relationship it will make you stronger, more confident and much more appealing to your bull and of course for you deep inside and that matters more than anything. Feel good on the inside portrays positives on the outside, for sure!

  1406. #1406 by Mia on March 10, 2010 - 7:34 am

    Hey Sweet Saggi,

    Oh yes I do understand about his ex and that is nice as long as you know he is totally over her and no matter what sees her only as a friend and could never see her for more than that. I definitely realize that or he would not be with you.

    Saggi, Jess, Jane, Lioness,
    I have been dealing with lots of insecurity myself and as you do sometimes Saggi, I freak whenever he tells me he wants or threatens to break it off. I can hardly function and i become an emotional wreck. I am realizing that even through that I always think I can handle it, I so cannot. I am also realizing there is more to me wanting him to be happy just so he will not get angry at me for anything and ultimately break it off with me.

    But that was before i read of a much healthier attitude that will cause you to never have to feel insecure again. basically it is stopping all thoughts that he will leave you. that does not matter really. and putting all that energy back on you, your goals and helping others. remembering the less you do for him the more he wants you, longs for you…

    peace to you saggi and everyone,
    mia xoxoxoxox

  1407. #1407 by Mia on March 10, 2010 - 7:58 am

    Lioness,

    Ah, you are leaving us??? c’mon, you can’t desert us? lol, ah it is bittersweet, so don’t want you to leave but understand. If I had broken it off it would be too depressing to read all about you gals great relationships with your taurus.

    Lioness, I feel terrible for you and I do feel sure he loves you. He must be really in debt or something??? hm… now don’t laugh, but what if he secretly can’t stand her and is only using her just so he can get free rent… but no sex? could it be that he abhores her and her body??? lol, no, really you never know the situation…

    thank you for your advice and it is a huge comfort to know that he might could be using her to get to me. but i just don’t think so because why would he spend the whole day with her, and never even let me know? but i can’t tell you how nauseating it is when he asks me to go to a church event and there she is and then they talk stay in close proximity talking it is beyond nauseum.

    Sometimes I want to go over and yank him up and give him an ever-loving-blue-eyed push and tell him, “Listen here young man, I don’t know what the h*** happened when your Dad should have taught you better respect for women.

    But we are much better!!! Today was very nice, he like texts and called me all day long on this team. he was very respectful. he is loving it i think cuz it can give him reason to be around me more….

    he even told me today, to stop being so helpful, i said i hate it, he said well let me handle it, just let it go… i said gladly, ah thank you! then he teases me and is ggetting more personable with me like his hey u and i am hey u back… lol

    I forgot Jane, I hope you are okay!!!!!!!!!! i am falling asleep here, sending you huge hugs!!!!!!!!!

    going to miss you lioness! stay strong and i feel sure he will try to contact you…

    mia xoxoxox

    I’m done, missing u Lioness…

    Mia xoxoxox

  1408. #1408 by saggi girl on March 10, 2010 - 1:06 pm

    Mia,

    thanks for your sweet word. yeah, i do have insecurity issue within myself..either my relationship worked out with my bull or not, i need to feel secure about myself, it is good for myself in a long run.

    as for his feeling for his ex, i can’t say he only sees her as a friend, even thought that is what he told me. but i can guarantee that if something happens to her, he will feel very bad. same as me, whenever my family talked about my ex husband, i have complicated feeling towards him, it does not mean that i still love him, but for a person stayed in your life that long, it is more than a friend, will more feel him like a family.

    I am open now..and determined to do that. do not want to stuck with a bull and worrying about what if after?? it was too much for me.. i am not saying to break up with him, but i will consider seeing someone else, you never know, it might be something better or more compatible out there, i just do not want myself to be hurt.. right now, i realized that my tendency to protect myself is very strong and can not get pass it. I will still work on my relationship with a bull, but at the same time, do not want to put eggs in one basket.

    my bull texted me last night to say good night as he got home very late from work, i just simply texted him back the same good night greeting.. right now, I feel i need to shift my center from my bull to myself.. how could i make myself feel better, how could i imporve myself… if bull still wants to be with me after 6 months. it is great. but if not, at least i did not waste these 6 months to work on things.. Time are too precious, do not want to waste on him..

  1409. #1409 by saggi girl on March 10, 2010 - 1:16 pm

    lioness.

    some questions was just across my mind.. how could you be sure the allias online was your bull.. did you confirm? or just your assumption??

    i wouldn’t be chasing a ghost..it does not matter you think he loves you or not, it does not matter what the other people say if he loves you or not.. but in general, he is a ghost.. you need a human. don’t you agree?

  1410. #1410 by Lioness on March 10, 2010 - 2:56 pm

    Thankyou Mia and Saggi for your kind words,
    Mia I am really praying you are right and hope he will come around. Saggi I know its him because of the expressions he uses and when I talk to him he tells me a joke then calls up my friend later on and tells her the same joke. I first caught on to these aliases back in August when he came home one day during the day after I picked up my son. He just sat in the parking lot I didnt pay him any attention and I just had a feeling it was him and it was he will tell my friend who he is on his names but he keeps up the charade with me. Your right it is a ghost and he works behind the scenes. I do need something real you are right that is why I did what I did so he can do what he has to do……I figure that if I get back on yahoo he is just going to make up more names and etc. My guess is he will try and go to our mutual friend and ask whats up before long I just have a feeling he will. I have no idea what is up with this girl Mia I hope he is just with her to save money but I hardly doubt it anymore. If he is dating her he is not happy in the situation to be talking to me all the time…..So we shall see I know he is testing me for sure. He made up a new name and I was on last night he was going on about how he was married and asked me about cheating. Kept on going on about that. My taurus used to be married for a long time his exwife ended up cheating on him w his best friend. So I figure he is testing me out to see what i would say about that without me realizing its him. I will check back later goodluck to you all! Lioness

  1411. #1411 by Mia on March 11, 2010 - 10:10 am

    Saggi,

    Please know I was so in the same place as you.

    Saggi, Jane,
    uh… yes, like i do also analyze like the woman Saggi read about, like he kissed me last weekend, this weekend i didn’t even get a hug? hm. and he did ask me out last weekend but it didn’t work out? hm, he hasn’t ask about my plans this weekend, hm? what does all this mean? is he moving away from me, what can i do to turn it around? i must read more so i will know how to keep him… as for a pet name? are you kidding me? lol, how about “stop interrupting me now and listen.” lol

    now listen to us… look at how much negative we keep putting on our relationship with our guys. we are essentially giving the guy the power but MORE IMPORTANTLY do you know what we are doing… ? we are allowing our negative thoughts to rob us of our security within ourselves. do you know that is so an attraction killer? and really our guys are moving away from us, when we exude ourselves so much over analyzing, over-reacting, all of these will confirm just what we are afraid of in the long run, yup, he leave you, or they will leave us…

    guess what? starting this moment, we shall make a pact. we use this blog to vent, and boy does it ever feel good to know we can feel so sorry for ourselves and have all of us support and love one another so unconditionally, so sweet. now we have solved the venting problem, it is time for step 2… we can still do this while simultaneously venting too! ^ – ^

    step 2 is to become SECURE once again. how? oh you ask how? smile. well, first of all, we have to establish what we want… yup. what do you want??

    do you really want that stubborn taurus? think real hard on it. yes? okay… i do too. and what else do you want? you want his love, support, communication, and loving communication, affection, and basically if you could have ANYTHING, it would be for your guy to treat you as the special princess you already are….

    ok. how? by knowing that what you think works, does not, and only drives him further away sometimes…

    okay so i’m reading more in the book AND i am like Saggi, heck i have nothing to loose now. if he walks away, he walks… i basically told him some of that tonight, but it worked, and we are doing very well…. yes very happy news.

    and i am applying what i have read now and i feel more secure within myself. my confidence is growing, and when that happens, guess what??? my need for him goes away! yup, the more confident i am becomming, the more i want to accomplish even more for myself. and when this happens and i naturally do not text or respond to him as much this time.

    so you see, that shift happens, BUT you have to learn to recognize the tiny most insignifant words, phrases that have been making you look like you want him, that you love him, that you think about him more than he may think about you…

    tonight we both showed up for a new bible study we both grinned, he is like, what are you doing here? and i am like what are you doing here? we went to shop for the team stuff afterwards, but during the bible study he kept his autonomy, coming in at a different time he was 2 seconds behind me… deliberately not sitting next to me… BUT he would say he senses me closing off opportunities for him, and i am you see to protect myself, i parked my truck further from him, i went up the steps faster than him, i sat in a chair by itself at the front, you see all these behaviors suggest i am shutting you off, before you have a chance to hurt me….

    then something happened.

    jane and saggi, jess, you were right on this point and i never realized this until tonight…

    when you do ever so slightly initiate, then they can really feel how you feel about them… and they move more into you… i always thought no matter what the guy will want to initiate…

    so listen to my subtly tonight. i called him on my way home telling him i wanted to check out some equipment which store is best… he said one and i said yup thanks… he said, with a sigh, i’ll meet you there. (smile) then he called and he was arguing about something i said, you don’t like me.

    then when we got to the store, i was like saying, you don’t like me… it’s okay, like i give up. i am done. he kept asking why i think he does not like me? i was like u get mad at me, then act distant… it’s okay, i don’t care anymore anyway.

    he said, i do like you i just dont’ know why you think that… then he said, but when you did that jealous thing…. i said, just stop.u do not have to worry about that anymore, i don’t care about that, i truly could care less who u want to be with, i don’t care how many girls you want to date. i really do not care. my whole attitude and my karma which he could see from my stance, that i was totally relinquished, and my body language was one of total indifference.

    total indifference. he could sense there was no fight in me to keep him. he could sense, with me saying i know you do not like me, and i’m fine with it. i do not care anymore.

    his whole attitude suddenly changed from cocky and ordering me with his power over me cuz he knows me as accomodating…. to now curious, and now grabbing me, teasing me saying what makes you think i don’t like you in a soft voice… then him feeling my pants (they were like a silky pants texture) and saying, you just got a spanking for thinking that.. then he got a bit frisky and when he walked away and turned around to say good bye…

    guess what i did??? something i have never done before.

    he did not kiss me, he did not hug, i just turned my cheek and tapped it with my finger… he grinned, and walked towards me and leaned in my truck and kissed me on my cheek. then he got back in my truck and sat down and we spoke just a bit longer and then i leaned over and kissed him on his cheek, he grinned just a bit (for him to crack any sense of a smile, is a miracle) and then he said very softly, ‘thank u.’

    so i am realizing that our taurus like to know that they are wanted, and desired too, they like knowing that they are special too. he was too stubborn and proud to kiss me before he left, and my whole affect wasn’t oh please kiss me, and then acting dramatic and sad cuz he did not kiss me…

    falling asleep here, but letts work on it ๐Ÿ™‚ you can…

    love to both and all here…
    mia xoxoxox lioness will read your post soon…

  1412. #1412 by leanie on March 11, 2010 - 12:31 pm

    I have a question..

    I have been dating this taurus for a short time. I knew him before..as he was a friend of my ex.. It went perfect and then he found out my ex was very angry at us for dating. My question is: When a taurus pulls the line ” i want to take a step back ” and continues with “you know how much like you but maybe we should not see each other again, i didnt realise it would bring so much trouble”..does it mean its over. And no turning back for the stubborness of a bull?

    I really want to make it work. We are compatible in so many ways.. but i encouraged him to confront his friend.. overdramatic leo is me..

    So how do i proceed?? Any tips or advices?

  1413. #1413 by Jane on March 11, 2010 - 5:29 pm

    Leanie

    Hi and welcome to you, well in my view this is a difficult one here because if you donโ€™t already know Taurus are very loyal to their friends and he probably feels uncomfortable dating his friends ex. He must really like you to start something up in the first place, but he didnโ€™t think your ex would mind!! Itโ€™s a bit of a โ€˜noโ€™, โ€˜noโ€™ area!

    I mean how long where you and his friend together? Did you break up with him? That may have something to do with your ex not liking it! How long ago was it? This will all play a part in how your Taurus sees you. Taurus are honest, to the point and most certainly do not like falling out with people especially someone they care about.

    He is being honest with you by telling you in the nicest way possible that he wants to step back as he didnโ€™t think it would cause too much trouble.
    Donโ€™t forget here he has only known you a short time and may have been friends with your ex for a lot longer, therefore his loyalty lays with your ex!!!
    Sorry, thatโ€™s just what I think. What I will say though, not all maybe lost if he could get your exโ€™s blessing on this!?
    Does your ex want you back? That would change things too. There is a lot to concider first.

    If I where you I would ask your Taurus what your ex said to him and weighing things up and how well you both get on then you could say how it would be a shame if we donโ€™t give it a go??
    Maybe suggest taking things mega slow, well you wouldnโ€™t be doing anything but slow with Taurus anyway!!! Lol

    Difficult situation, I hope that helps Leanie, good luck and keep us posted.

  1414. #1414 by Mia on March 12, 2010 - 7:35 am

    hi jane, don’t have much time here falling asleep very late here…
    just a quick note to you and saggi and all that my taurus opened up just a bit and when i was asking what / why he likes me he said ‘heart’ so now i know it is a big sign that he is really true and not just wanting me for s**…

    i will write u more soon and hope all is well. hang in there jane… sending you hugs…

    mary

  1415. #1415 by Mia on March 12, 2010 - 7:36 am

    i am so tired i used my other name! ha! hee hee… ah well no biggee… i am sooooooooo tired… zzzzzzzzzz

    nite all ๐Ÿ™‚
    mia ~
    xoxoxoxo

  1416. #1416 by Jane on March 12, 2010 - 8:01 am

    Mia

    Hi Mia, you are so right how we over analyse things which then leads us to then put โ€˜negativesโ€™ into our relationships!
    All of that with our insecurities yes for sure result in some way our guys moving away instead of closer! Lol We let this happen to us and then act all shocked like we aint got a clue why our men respond as they do!! So Mia, you have a valid point!

    Mia, I always used to think like you, that the guy would always want to initiate, because in my experience they usually do, but Taurus as we well know are โ€˜differentโ€™ lol thatโ€™s why we love them yeah!!!!
    I suppose in my situation my guy has his own insecurities then initiating can be difficult, also I do think with Taurus in particular, they can be so one track minded and push you to the side without even realising they do it!

    My guy has admitted that to me before, that he doesnโ€™t mean to do it but at times considering someone else takes getting used too! I do agree, thatโ€™s why a little โ€˜nudgeโ€™ from me usually does it hee hee

    Mia yes for sure Taurus men do want and need to be needed, desired I have really noticed that. It goes back to โ€˜all about himโ€™ as we have all said here how self centered these guys can be at times, their ego is bigger than them and it just must be tended too!!!
    I am realising though Mia that Taurus in their ways and attitude to life are so misunderstood and are really quite simple if you really just take the time to study them, as they study you. They want to be understood, and loved for who they are, of course we do to but Taurus come across so complicated they know how strange they are and they also know that it takes someone real special to stick with them for the long haul!!!!!
    I hope you are doing ok Mia with your guy, I do get confused reading your post in a sweet way. Yes pulling back Mia will result better for you because this guy cant keep his hands of you when you are alone with him and you want him to earn it!!!

    My guy back from his trip today!!!! So I hope he makes contact with me and doesnโ€™t leave me waiting for a few days!!! I will just have to wait and see I guess!!!!
    Big hugs to you x

    This board is quiet at the moment is any one having same problem as me, taking for EVER to post!!!??

  1417. #1417 by Jane on March 12, 2010 - 8:09 am

    Mia

    This post is very slow as I noticed by the โ€˜timeโ€™ you last 2 little posts where before my last one but they only appeared after!!!!

    Sweet dreams to you x

  1418. #1418 by saggi girl on March 12, 2010 - 1:20 pm

    Jane,

    Hi to you… i have been quiet is because i do not know what to say.. have been reading a book to educate myself.. i feel a lot better now than a few days ago. i think we all need to earn confidence, thinking in a way that life can go on well even with or without our guy.. i was so devastated when i heard he said that to me on that day, right now, i felt like it was not a big deal at all. The world is so big and we are just so small to see it all.. I was just too focus on what i can see.. and forgot what i can not see… i do not know, it was hard to explain the feeling after reading that book, it does help me a lot..

    i was pulling back from my bull now, only responding to him when he called and texted.. he has been consistently texting me before he goes to sleep like he used to, it seems he does not change his way of being with me at all.. it was really interesting… but right now, i do not need to have calls or texts to sleep well, i desired his call or text still, but not need.. it was just my preferrence, it he does not do it, a little bit disppointment on my side that i have to admit, but not in hurt, not in a way i would creat drama out of it, so, this way i can relax, if we relax, we are at our best..LOL

    honestly, i no longer treat him as the center of my life as i used to do, and i found out that he has insecurity issue too…LOL

    nice to hear from you, and your bull is coming back today and how good it is..Jane, do not treat it as a big deal if he did not contact, we need to relax. This way, we are at our best.

  1419. #1419 by Jane on March 12, 2010 - 3:33 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi and hello to you saggi girl, I did wonder where you had got too!! Sounds very interesting and positive too that you have been โ€˜educating yourselfโ€™ gaining some further insight on things has to be a good thing.

    I can realise how very hurt you where by your guys remarks to you, so understandable and I know I would have been truly hurt too. It is so difficult to see it from a different side when it directly involves you doesnโ€™t it!?

    It sounds very much like you are โ€˜taking hold of youโ€™ and looking after you saggi, things seem tender and delicate for you at the moment so I must say it is so good to hear you doing that.
    You are right we do need to gain our confidence back, not centre these guys in our lives and truly function freely independently by ourselves and if they there to enjoy it with us then great, if not then it their loss for sure!!!!

    You have certainly given me encouragement reading your post saggi, thank you. Yes my guy back today, I canโ€™t remember time but if I remember correctly then he back by now and I havenโ€™t heard from him!!!
    I will be really hurt if he does not contact me by tomorrow morning because that will for sure tell me he hasnโ€™t missed me at all. If that happens then I for sure will be doing same as you, revaluating things and how much I am putting in to this, I will be so upset if he sits back and waits for me to get in touch especially as he new I was disappointed not seeing him weekend before he left. I suppose being a Taurus he will do what he wants to do, when he wants to do it!!! Oh I wonโ€™t say any of this to him, I will just observe the situation. Before he went away he was so good at talking the talk about how โ€˜yes, we will spend lots of time together when I am backโ€™ so I am waiting to see if his actions match his words!!!!

    Would you text your guy saggi if this was your situation? I do want to give him chance to get in touch but just not sure how long I should wait!?

    Saggi girl you sound so much more in control with how you want to handle things, you are being โ€˜realโ€™ looking after you and take each day as it comes, carrying on letting your bull do his usual contacting. This whole thing as shook you up sweet saggi, I can see that. When in doubt just think of all the โ€˜bullโ€™ ways, how and why they do things and also how far you guys have come, he would not have travelled along this (sometimes rocky! You know what I mean!?) Path with you saggi if he didnโ€™t want you in his future.
    Keep up your good focus, its really encouragingโ€ฆโ€ฆkeep me update x

  1420. #1420 by Jess on March 12, 2010 - 4:29 pm

    saggi girl!

    Wow! You sound so cool! I’m so happy you can look at this and handle with with calm and understanding, honestly you surprise me! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Yes I totally agree with you, there are soo many things about oneself in life that is important and should be focused/improved.

    Keep up your spirit saggi girl, I’m sure you will work this out with your guy!

    Jane,

    Stay calm, thats all i can say LOL! if you feel like to text him, wait another day to do it.

    As for me, I’m having a hard time with my work now and with my family also because i already spent last weekend with him and i will for the next 2 weekend but my parents is getting upset and i still don’t know what excuse to make for this coming weekend…

    feel so stress but he is leaving in 2 weeks!

  1421. #1421 by saggi girl on March 12, 2010 - 4:40 pm

    Jane,

    yeah, i am trying to be in control of myself, if i can control myself emotionally, nothing can hurt me that easily with whatever he says or how he reacts towards me.. i am trying.. it feels so good so far. Right now, i do not even think of his way either he is a bull or not, as no matter what he is, i am still who i am…i am so afraid of the old me coming back, as it was so hurtful of myself..

    Jane, if i were you, i would simply send him a text message like” hi, thought you were coming back today, how was your trip?” then that is it. if he texted you back or called you back, you can take it from there. But remember, you do not need to see him, do not need to, you just prefer to see him when he comes back. that is a huge difference between need and desire… do you understand what i am talking about??

    Just like, you go to icecream store, you want to have chocolate flavor, then they tell you it run out, but they have other flavor. since you do not need to, have to, have this chocolate flavor, you were a little bit disppointed, but not being hurt by the fact that they do not have chocolate flavor for you, as it was just a desire or preferrence at the moment.. then you let it go and tried some other flavor, it turned out ok.. then some days later, you went back, they told you that they have the chocolate flavor, you might not in a mood to have that flavor…you know what i mean?? be confident, be relaxed, be calm… you will be at your best.

    Just like i said, text him to say hello and it shows that you are thinking about him, but do not dwell on it…

  1422. #1422 by Punkygirl on March 12, 2010 - 5:19 pm

    Hey ladies – I have been reading thru these posts and getting a ton of insight, it’s really amazing to see this little support group of ladies that love taureans and I am glad I stumbled upon it, I no longer feel so alone.

    I am just embarking upon the crazy venture with a taurus for the first time…a little back history on me I am 34, a virgo, have an almost 11 year old son who is autistic and has some special needs but is a great kid ๐Ÿ™‚ I am in process of ending a 15 year long relationship with the father of my child (we were never married but have been living together almost 7 years now) As of end of April we will be moving out to seperate places, but its emotionally/physically been over for a while.

    And then a month ago I met this taurus guy.. he was very quiet, somewhat mysterious. I realized right away that we had some things in common that attracted me to him, he has great taste in music, which is a very important force in my life. At this point I guess I should mention that this is all taking place online, I live in minneapolis, he lives in chicago. We begin online chatting at his request and we really seem to hit it off, hes very open with me about his life and told me some very intimate details which surprised me since I barely knew him.. but as a virgo I love communicating and I am also very much a nurturer and also very co-dependent ( i am trying to work on this) I saw someone who was very lonely and needed and seemingly wanted someone to care for him…and I bit.
    A day or two later, he starts the whole bi-polar thing that all taurus men seem to do – hes telling me beware of entering into anything with him, because he always ends up hurting everyone. So we chat some more and then we make a mutual decision to be friends and also maybe more, but not in a superficial way, which is all too easy a trap to fall into on the internet, right? We both agree that we are looking for something deeper, more of an emotional connection.
    Since all of this, we have begun speaking on the phone – but that is where things deviate a bit from what I have read thus far. we exchanged phone numbers online right before i had to go out and do a few things. I am not usually too quick to make the first move, I want to see if the other person is interested. So I figure Ill let him call when hes ready. He calls 10 minutes later, lol. Since then we have been almost inseperable on the phone, I even had to change my plan cause I was way over on my minutes. I just got my bill and i spent 10k minutes on the phone last month! We even fall asleep on the phone together and leave it running cause neither of us wants to hang up. I actually find it comforting to hear him breathing, it makes me feel a little closer to him, since he cant be here.

    I guess I should mention a bit about him – the first thing is that he is fairly young – 10 years younger than i am. I am ok with that. He said that he was too at first, but later in a different conversation he did admit that he may actually want someone closer to his own age. He is still living with his mom for right now and he hates it – makes sense, he is not in control and hates having to depend on someone else, sounds like a taurus. I of course am super stable – been at the same job for 11 years, make good money, independent and moving out on my own. I think hes attracted to that, but hed never want to place himself into that situation, it would be like trading his mother in for me.. He keeps saying that the timing sucks for us meeting, because he has so many things in his life that need sorting out and I realize that he needs to be in control, he needs to feel like he can be a good provider and right now he is not in the situation to do that.

    My solution – ok so go do it, take control of your life already, go after what you want. He says he knows that is what he needs to do, but he doesnt seem to be putting that much effort into it.

    What really drives me nuts – he says that he considers me like a sorta gf to him, yet he really isnt that affectionate – never calls me sweet things, would never dream of saying i love you, not at this point anyway, but he calls constantly, spends A Lot of time with me – that must mean im impt to him, right? Lately though, he mentions other girls when we are on the phone together, both real life friends and other girls online. He tells me EVERYTHING with no apparent regard as to how it may make me feel – how he is getting hit on, that some girl kissed him and he did nothing to stop it then that made him feel sorta bad, etc. but he aslo seems to put himself into these situations, he goes and hangs out where these girls hang out, he obv. likes the attention.
    I am beginning to wonder why he keeps me around, i am starting to feel all these feelings that I hate – i feel jealous, bad about myself, like i will never be able to measure up to his standards, angry at myself for caring so much and being so attached to someone I have never met in real life. im mad that he seems to be able to dictate my emotions so easily. Sometimes I feel like he tells me these things because he is not able to end things himself and he wants to piss me off to the point where I just walk. thing is, I think that we could be good together if we can just work thru this period and i am exceedingly patient and forgiving. But I also expect to be treated with respect, and I will not allow myself to be a doormat. I decided to take a break from contact with him for a day or two to get some mental clarity and i sent him a message telling him this last evening. since then he has called 5x. Its killing me to do this, but I feel like things between us were heading in a very negative direction and I needed to derail this.
    Do you think it was the right thing to do? – i am just worried that he is going to feel like I abandoned him and turn even colder to me.
    Also, any suggestions on how I should act when I do make contact with him again are appriciated. I love the fact that we can be honest with each other , but I hate double standards – i know if i wouldve acted like this with him and said a bunch of stuff about other guys, he would be gone by now. I just want him to treat me fairly and with respect. Im not sure if I should speak to him tonight or wait till sat.
    The other big decision that looms is taking this to the next level – we have discussed me coming down to chicago end of march or beginning of april. I want to do it, he has pulled back and forth on it – one day hes gung ho, next he thinks its too soon. lately he has said just come down as a friend, no other expectations. that is the plan for now, but based on our past conversations, I am a bit worried that things could get physically intimate and i am not sure if that is the right thing, and well for him he goes back and forth with that the same way lol. So many mixed messages! I like puzzles, I always seem to go for complicated guys but oh man, I think this one is taking the cake.

    Anyway. sorry this was so long, thanks for letting me vent ๐Ÿ™‚

  1423. #1423 by Jane on March 12, 2010 - 6:38 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi, you are dealing with a lot emotionally at the moment saggi, you are doing so well and I admire your new found attitude that certainly seems to be helping you which is the most important thing yeah!?!
    One important thing here to remember is whilst you are doing all this and giving yourself the much needed attention; you will be becoming so much more emotionally stronger and at the same time drawing your bull closer to you! Goodness saggi I need to do just that too! Lol

    I do understand saggi what you say that I donโ€™t NEED him I just prefer to see him, how funny your explanation using the โ€˜ice cream store story!!! So true!
    I am going to give him a while longer to see does he make contact, and then I may send a small text although deep down I really want him to do it! Oh boy, why so complicated!! Lol
    I would like him to know I am thinking of his yes your right but right now right this minute I really want to know he thinking of me, after all it is him who has been away. If I had โ€˜girlfriendโ€™ status with him I donโ€™t think I would hesitate to worry about texting first, if that makes sense, oh my god I sound like a teenager having a school crush!!!! LOL
    Taurus cracks me up!!!

    Thank you for your much appreciated input saggi, helps a lot. Keep up your good work; it is definitely giving me good food for thought!! Hee hee, big hugsโ€ฆ

    Jess

    Thank you to you too jess, I am in two minds to text today or tomorrow!! My head is all over the place because I have missed him so much, I need validation from him that he has missed me too!!

    You jess just like saggi are dealing with a lot to right now emotionally, but for different reasons to saggi!
    Bless you as it must be so hard trying to see your guy and keep your parents happy too jess, yes very stressful for you.
    I am sure you have used this excuse already but โ€˜a work conference/week end awayโ€™ or a friend invited you to her parents holiday home for week endโ€™ Maybe if it a work thing you could tell your parents that you really wish you didnโ€™t have to go, but its part of your job and cant get out of it, โ€˜oh well week end will go past quicklyโ€™, blah blah!!!! You get what I mean!??
    Jess I know your time with your bull is precious and you donโ€™t want to waste a minute with him, fully understand. I really hope you manage to see him easier than you think so you can enjoy your week end and not worry.
    Good luck to you Jess, keep us posted and have the best week end you possibly can. Hugs to you x

  1424. #1424 by saggi girl on March 12, 2010 - 9:08 pm

    Jane,

    i can sense that you can not wait to see him.LOL. it does sound like that you are in high school with your puppy love..LOL..sorry to pick on you. It was good that you feel that way about your bull.. it proves that you have a very healthy heart..hehehe

    honestly, i still hesitate to text or call him even though i got a title from him, and i do not know why.. sometimes, he complains that i did not call.. but i guess i just do not want to create drama if he does not pick up.. LOL

    my bull told me that he will volunteer to help me to connect the TV and some other devices on sunday when he sees me.. but i told him that i will think about it.. then he asked why? i think he was mistaken my hesitation to connect TV with hesitation to see him on sunday.. I did not realize it until i hung up the phone.. It was so funny and kind of cracked me up.. it seems he has insecurity issue too..LOL

    But i am not sure how i would face him in a way that i used to be when i was with him.. it was kind of weird.. maybe, i went too far..LOL

  1425. #1425 by Jane on March 12, 2010 - 9:18 pm

    Saggi girl, Jess

    Well saggi girl I need some of your positive attitude here! I didnโ€™t hear from him, so I guess that confirms I havenโ€™t been on his mind while he was away, I feel so gutted. I know I probably sound dramatic here too as there is still time but I am sure after nearly 2weeks away if I figured in this guys life like I thought, then I would have been one of the first things he thought about on his return, I feel so stupid that I really expected him to be in touch straight away!

    I mean even though I am starting to understand him very well, I did think his feelings for me would have come first even in his very stubborn Taurus mind!
    Jess I keep thinking of what you said a while ago a bout your guy once he admitted his feelings to you he told you how he never wanted to appear to eager to you, like a step behind and not appear to be overly interested (you know what I mean Jess) I am hoping maybe he doing the same thing! Jess you said a time too that your guy was back 2days before contact to you, I know your guy goes on business so maybe it different, I donโ€™t know. I do know that it doesnโ€™t feel right and as I can worry that he safe especially as not heard from him the whole time, crazy thoughts!!

    Also as he going to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it, I have no choice!
    I do realise he may be really tired but OMG is it too much to ask for a text to say โ€˜hiโ€™
    Maybe going back to my logic, he may not see the rush to make contact!!!!!!! Please tell me am I crazy here!!?? It feels that way, I feel unsure although the last time I saw him was great and even our last texts to each other where lovely even though I was disappointed we didnโ€™t see each other before he wentโ€ฆ.!

  1426. #1426 by Jane on March 12, 2010 - 9:35 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi I just read your post as mine to you posted!! Lol you are right I cant wait to see him but saggi he has made no contact and I feel sick!!!
    It hurts to think he has not missed me, otherwise he would have text right!!???
    Yes, I do sound like love sick puppy! You are right to pick on me!! Lol
    I feel like a mess and I know I may be jumping to conclusions, I do not know!!

    When you say you still hesitate to call after you have โ€˜titleโ€™ I know what you say but I mean that having โ€˜titleโ€™ it may not be such an issue whether you text he text do you know what I mean? Like, you together so it no big deal as you both know.

    Yes I think your bull has misunderstood you there about the cable thing and thought you talking about him! Bless, well good to keep him guessing as he knows he will see you Sunday and he can find out hee,hee.
    Saggi, you and your guy will be just fine, I know it. Take it day by day, see how you feel when you are with him and keep the talk going, good communication is vital, believe me, donโ€™t bottle things up, just make things worse in the long run, keep nice and calm, no drama and you are on your way saggiโ€ฆ..hee hee

  1427. #1427 by saggi girl on March 12, 2010 - 10:49 pm

    Jane,

    Even though you do not have title, it does not matter who calls who, even as a friend. But it depends on what your expectation is. i would put it in this way.. if he is your boyfriend, you might have a different expectation, but who calls who, it does not relate to “title.” do you understand what i mean?

    so, he has gone for 2 weeks, right? he was back today. what time you know he was back? i would wait until the night or tomorrow, if he still does not call you, then it will be hard for me to understand.. but it really depends on the level of relationship you guys are in.. if he is your boyfriend, then you expected him to give you a call right away or on the same day when he was back.

    jane, i truly understand what you are thinking and how you are feeling. i would feel sad too.. i remembered one time i came back from international trip after

  1428. #1428 by saggi girl on March 12, 2010 - 11:00 pm

    oh, continuing.. something is wrong, i accidently posted before i finished…

    after a week i came back from the international trip to my home country, actually he asked me to text him as soon as i landed when i left, so i texted him after i landed in USA, but i did not received any single words from him like” glad you are back.’ something is like that… then i was very disppointed, then he called me after 10pm on the same way, i was so mad and did not answer the phone.. he left me a message like ” i just got off work and glad you were back, something like that…” i think they are really different, i am sure he misses me, but they won’t show in a way you can feel they miss you, i think in general they are calm, nobody knows what is in side of them…so, that is why, i decided to be myself and stopped figuring them out.

    Jane, if i were you, i would not call if i care too much about my pride; and i would call, if i want to see him… but i would suggest you to wait until tomorrow.. i would think he should call tonight at least before he goes to bed.. keep me posted…good luck sweetie

    hugs..

  1429. #1429 by saggi girl on March 13, 2010 - 12:41 am

    Jess,

    hehehe…trying to be in control of myself.NO Drama, LOL

    well, do not let your family stress you too much as you still got do what you need to do..

    good luck with your lie..LOL

    hugs..

  1430. #1430 by Jane on March 13, 2010 - 8:11 am

    Saggi girl

    Thank you for you encouraging words, I still have not heard from him!!!
    I do know what you mean about the โ€˜titleโ€™ thing saggi , who gets in touch with who, and you say it also depends on my expectation, well I donโ€™t suppose he thinks it important to get in touch straight away and I do or at least same day he gets back, I was not sure of time he got back but I know it was yesterday afternoon sometime. He may have same expectation as me other way around and he may be waiting for me to check he is back ok!!??
    As I said before I have never been in his situation before so not sure of what to do that is why the whole time he away I have done no contacting to him, well neither has he.

    We may not have had status with each other but as you know how Taurus are, we most certainly act like we together with everything we do. I just donโ€™t get it because when I think back to our last texts to each other he was saying things like. โ€˜we will spend lots of time together when I am backโ€™, โ€˜I donโ€™t want to go away with you and me falling outโ€™ (I upset we didnโ€™t see each other) everything was fine between us and if I am honest I really thought he would be wanting to contact me when he got back knowing โ€˜he has making up to doโ€™lol because he knew I was not happy before he went although we had sorted it out!

    We usually see each other on a Saturday so I really donโ€™t want to get in touch with him for him to assume it for that reason because as it stands now, I donโ€™t expect to see him at all because he back in work tomorrow anyway.
    I have a crazy mind at times and I worry as I havnt heard a single word for all this time that for all I know there may be something wrong! The thing is if there was I would never know or find that out! OK so I am getting over paranoid now!! I must calm down.

    I am not sure what to do here for the best, whether to text him or not!!??
    He may not reply!!!

    Thanks Saggi

  1431. #1431 by saggi girl on March 13, 2010 - 3:07 pm

    Jane,

    I understand what you are saying and instead of trying to figure things out without any clue at all. i would suggest you to call him or text him. yeah, he might not answer or he might, if you do not text, you will never find out..

    i just hate to guess things around, that is basically my personality. I do not think taurus guy are complicated too, and they are just different. it might be true that he was waiting for you contact or maybe not, but if you do not do it, you will never know.

    you said that he knew you were upset before his trip and he should make up for it. Yeah, there are a lot of supposed to, but how many supposed to we thought in our head works with taurus.. if the supposed to works with taurus, we won’t be here anymore..

    Jane, calm down. text him to say “hi”. you supposed that it is saturday and you do not want him to misunderstand your intention, but like i said, Jane, do not guess around. Just be polite to say “hi”. Those are might be your worries, but not his.. do not beat yourself down by your unproved assumption.
    keep me posted.. i will keep my internet open today. jane, do not feel so down..My situation was even worse than you, a guy spending 2 years with tells you that he was not sure with you considering what i have invested.. wasn’t that a BS????

  1432. #1432 by Jane on March 13, 2010 - 8:54 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi saggi, well I have had a fabulous day!!! I did text my guy this morning, just โ€˜hiโ€™ how was you holiday ect, 2 hours later he called me and we where on the phone for over an hour!!! It was great! Lol he talked me through his step by step of all he did on his trip, it was a good sign to me, do you agree!?
    Anyway as we coming to the end of the call he said he has lots of pictures to show me and he will call and see me in the week, well he had already told me he off work tomorrow as well as today, so anyway we hung up the phone and said see you soon, (we both said we missed each other too!!! (I said it first!)

    Any way saggi as soon as I put phone down I was thinking how the way he was talking I just new he was hinting for me to suggest we meet, and I was waiting for him!!!! So I thought oh I will just take this bull by the horns here (hee,hee) and I called him back, he answered and I said do you feel up to calling to see me today if you are free? He straight away said โ€˜yeah that be goodโ€™ he new I was going somewhere first and he said I will call you before I leave to see if you are back before I leave to come and see you. I said great!! (oh I was so happy about this)

    Saggi I am truly thinking that he really does wait for me to initiate, as I have said before, he has never said no to me or cancelled he has only ever been late although today he was early!! I was shocked as I got near my house there he was already there!! Never has he done that!? He said he forgot his phone!!?

    Well saggi girl, we had a real great time, we just both laughed so much, I cooked us a meal and you would think I gave him crown jewels!! LOL he went on about how amazing it was and we lookes at his pictures on computer.
    Oh saggi also he said โ€˜do you still want me to come with you to your sisters weddingโ€™?!!!!!!!!! It is 5/6 weeks away and he mentioned it so I was so delighted about that. % hours we spent together and he just left, saggi I really do feel like a love struck puppy!!!!
    I am crazy though, twice he went to leave then sat down and started talking to me about something else, then as he left, he was outside (we hugged twice inside) he kissed me on the lips and then as he was leaving again he came back to kiss me again and I really think he wanted to kiss me full on but I didnโ€™t know for sure so didnโ€™t!!! How mad is that!!

    Saggi, sorry for long post I just wanted to share with you and update you, oh one other thing he said as he walking away, โ€˜I will tell you a story in a few weeksโ€™ I said โ€˜why not now!? He said โ€˜time is not right now, in a few weeks all will be revealed!!!
    What on earth does that mean!! LOL I donโ€™t know what he meant.

    Saggi girl thank you for your input and support to me, helped so much.
    I hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow with your guy and he sorts cable for you!! Hee hee! Have fun and enjoy. Big hugs to you saggi x

  1433. #1433 by Jane on March 13, 2010 - 9:07 pm

    Saggi girl

    Forgot to say, try not to let what your bull said to you spoil your day with him, I truly understand what you say, all I can say though is like you would say to me, keeping in the front of your mind with have a negative effect on your relationship with him because it will have a part to play in all you say and feel towards him. You may not mean it too but believe me it will.

    I realise it is hard for you to move past this, but your happiness depends on it right now, try to keep the pathway clear for now and see how much your relationship grows and where it is heading, remember to continue to work on you saggi, you really are doing freat thinking of that, I need to also. Be positive and show this guy why he would be a fool if he ever lets you go!!!

  1434. #1434 by Jane on March 13, 2010 - 9:21 pm

    Saggi girl

    LOL LOL I really am like a love struck puppy!! I just noticed the mistakes in my post!!!! % hours we spent together should have said โ€˜5 hoursโ€™
    (2nd post) โ€ฆ.โ€™you really are doing freat thinking of that, should say โ€˜greatโ€™ not โ€˜freatโ€™ LOL OOOPS!!!

  1435. #1435 by Mia on March 14, 2010 - 6:40 am

    Heyyyyy all u sweet gals!!!

    Mia here, and i am afraid i may be breaking off from my guy, nope, i do know i am. Jess, I so think u would definitely tell me it is time. He accused me of telling someone we are dating? are you kidding me? then he hung up on me last nite… yup, u guessed it, the gal pal had something to do with it, and I remember hearing him walk thru a door with a dog barking, it was HER HOUSE. this is soooo ridiculous, he is spending every waking hr with this gal he says he doesn’t like? r u kidding me? he is so protective of her asking me to include her BUT TONITE I CAUGHT HIM IN A LIE!!!!!!!!!!! IT IS SO HILARIOUS!

    You will NOT believe it, and YOU ALL would be so proud of me. I will tell u in a moment… will read ur posts too, but first will welcome Punkygirl ๐Ÿ™‚ xoxoxo

    Punkygirl,
    Welcome! I read ur post and actually mine is similar to urs. I too have a son that is autistic, he has aspergers. My taurus man whom I am so in love with MUST be BI POLAR i guess… and he goes from hot to cold, but still more like a FWB. I’m really done with him, he is using me for s** i think… yup, i am co-dependent, but am working on Co-Dependent no more! My guy is also 10 yrs younger and living with his parents too.

    Yup, unbelievable isn’t it? and the gals flock around him, he loves it and it is rather nauseating watching him flirt, so I avoid him. it is so wierd, because Jess says that a taurus guy is ONLY interested in a VERY VERY beautiful gorgeous woman… that means we all must be totally rocking gorgeous:) lol, i know we are, smile… but what kills me is we should be rocking their world and they should have eyes for only you (me too)…

    my problem is I have allowed this man to get very sexual with me very early in relationship, that led to disrespect, and now he is almost totally apathetic, now I want apathy towards him. I want him to so want me more than I want him. the only way is to break it off.

    Jess, please give me advice here, I reeeeeeallly think I need to just break it off…. it may be not telling him, just totally ignoring him?

    Punkygirl, go very slow, I wouldn’t talk with this man more than 20 minutes at a time… and he is so far away, just be very careful, you sound so incredibly smart.

    I will tell u what happened now that leads me to BREAK IT OFF COMPLETELY with him….

    mia xoxoxxoxo

  1436. #1436 by Mia on March 14, 2010 - 7:23 am

    Jane!!!!!!

    Excellent news!!!!!!!!!! I am soooooooooooo happy for you!!!!!!! I so know how you must feel, so head over heels in love!!!

    Ah, that is fantastic and I am sooooo happy for you!!!!

    I so do wish my guy was like that! he is so respectful to you.

    Saggi girl, remember what you and Jess both said I think you both said it…. that you can’t take what your taurus guy says personally and ohhhhhhhhh is that so hard to do…

    they have noooooooo idea how distasteful they can be. I can assure you from what you have told us about ur guy HE DID NOT MEAN THAT…. remember too, that in my case, if my guy is mad at me for anything… he can be very vindictive in his choice of words but mostly without thinking first.

    You are doing fantastic too… that was great about ur comment on the cable thingee… smile… u see… when u are concentrating on him having to prove his worth for you instead of oh how can i keep this man from leaving me in 6 months, then as Jane says, he will realize he is the most blessed man on earth because he has YOU.

    My story now… I think I need ur advice about totally starting over with my guy, like I should just break it off completely…

    Remember how I told u every time I turn around, here he is with the gal pal? well, ever since I have been involved in getting this sports team together, he has been hanging around her more. hm, now I think there may be something to this…. hmmmm…. you see, i am contacting and emailing a lot of guys… I think he was not crazy about me doing this and at one time was YELLING at me over the phone saying, “You love it, you love all the drama in getting this team together.” hm, yeah i love it alright, love it so much i asked him and managed to work around several guys for him to be the mgr.

    last nite he called me & started attacking me! he was accusing me of telling a friend that we were dating! isnt that so sad? I did not do that but how sad is that? I told him that i did tell this person that HE ‘m’ had used my phone to text them. he was yelling that he had a very reliable source…. that he believes this reliable source… we all know that is the gal pal…. unbelievable. now is it ME HERE or is she ACTIVELY pursuing my guy now??? hm, yes YES AND YES. What is WORSE, while he was yelling at me he opens a door and a dog barks, HE WAS AT HER HOUSE and she could hear him!!!!!! they were hanging out alllll weekend last weekend too. i finally said, do you have anything nice to tell me? he said yes, and hung up. (on my face)

    oh and i forgot to tell u he was badgering me interrupting me the entire time, i could not say ONE WORD in defense, (not that i need to even defend myself as i KNOW i am an honest person) because he kept on and on and i was still at work very late, i started to cry…. he said, “Are you crying? you really need to see someone, you must have depression?” in a sarcastic way, he keeps telling me this… my emotions were so raw i swallowed my tears and said, ‘I AM NOT CRYING, I AM NOT CRYING.” he said sarcastically, “hm, why don’t you say it again, and again” (i should have hung up on him)

    anyway i refrained from sending him the 3 long texts … and sent nothing… noting how sad it is for him to be so embarrassed that indeed we are dating…. on the phone i said, we are hardly dating, i would not even say we are dating… he said, we are not dating. i said, hmmmm… then why on earth did you contact me just after New Yrs saying our break up was a BIG mistake and you wanted me back??? he said, oh i don’t remember that! he can’t remember that???????

    today the gal pal’s car broke down and she did not make practice. i called her on my way to chruch and left a message to see if she was ok. i got to church and see “m” there with HER… they are working at a stand for beverages together… i walk over and say, “hi m” he keeps his head looking other way and softly says hi…. then i speak to gal pal and she says her car broke down and that she has to bum rides…

  1437. #1437 by Mia on March 14, 2010 - 8:08 am

    cont’ story & and please give me advice about breaking off with my taurus guy please…

    … she says she has to bum rides… now remember this is 3 pm and i go on to church service, get back to my car and see a text from him!!! and it was written at 2:28!!!!!!! literally he would have been at church with HER while texting me!!!!!

    the text read, “mia, i did not see ‘gal pal’ at practice, did u call her to check on her?”

    now ladies, Jane… Saggi… Jess… please please enlighten me… why on earth would he send me this text??? does this sound a bit manipulative to you? does this sound like he is trying to rub it in that he is so protective of her to make me hm…. jealous?

    you see he has already accused me of being a very jealous person because i have told him two or three times it is OBVIOUS he has a thing for gal pal and to LEAVE ME OUT OF IT… he insists he is ONLY a friend and I am too jealous.

    he wants to see how I will react you see… he is sooooooooo trying to push my buttons while gal pal is acting like hall monitor trying to make me look bad and saying, “look what she is doing?” then he picks up phone and calls me accusing me of that above and one other thing, eliminating him from an email on some info i needed for the sports team, he was so mad that i did not include him… and yup gal pal was only to happy to show him… i am trying to like her, but feel she is loving piting him and me apart while he spends all this time with her… to make me jealous? at this point i am already having some apathy and i really don’t care for him much now. how can i when he is treating me like crap and can’t do enough for her!

    oh and after practice, my car would not start and i had to ask him to start it, he starts it and got in his car fast and left. never mentioning our date tonight, yup this makes the 3rd weekend in a row he has asked me out then flaked me off.

    he gets on his phone and flies over to her house after practice.

    so WHY WOULD HE TEXT ME THAT??? he wants to see if i am nice to her because he is loving watching me squirm while he pals it up with her and ignores me.

    well sweet gals i DID NOT MISS A BEAT. you would be so proud of me…

    this is what i texted him in return… catching him in an OUT RIGHT LIE and to think he has accused me 3 TIMES, YES 3 TIMES this past week of lying and just after gal pal tells him info about me, and another gal pal talks to him, they can do NO WRONG and i am the bad guy…. what gives? i am not a mean vindictive person and have shown nothing but niceness to these girls. i have no reason not to like them.. unbelievable.

    here was my text: ‘ i called her (gal pal) & left a message on her cell phone on my way2chruch. When i saw her at the beverage stand, she told me her car would not start. asked her why she did not call me 2 help her, said she called her dad. i assumed she called u 4aride2church since u were doing the beverage stand with her. that’s good that she can get a ride from u. i told her 2call me anytime to help her. enjoy ur nite, mia”

    hmmmmm, HE WAS BOLD OUT RIGHT LYING TO ME. he called her immediately and she probably texted him all throughout practice! he literally went straight to her house after practice and that was a freaking HOUR before church, that had to have been 2 pm!!!!!!!

    funny thing i haven’t heard from him at all… now WHO IS THE LIAR. all i can say was my nite last night was HORRENDOUS… i was sooooooooo hurt and i was crying so hard and crying now… yes, this is killing me jane….. saggi… i am crying so hard now… how can a human being do this to someone i will never know…

    HOW DARE HE EVER GET INVOLVED WITH ME… how dare he hurt me so.. and use me for s**????????

    i do not ever want him to TOUCH me again.

    do you see, he is disrespecting me because he has had s** with me… to think this man is screaming at me on the phone because he thinks i told someone we are dating??????? I did not! but I said we are dating??? then i said, nope, really we are not… he said, yeah we are not… i said, hm, then why did you beg me back after new years??? he said i don’t know what you are talking about…. he denies that. unbelievable.

    i can remember a time telling him that another gal at church thought he was dating gal pal !!! he said he doesn’t care what others think.. and it wasn’t a big deal…

  1438. #1438 by Mia on March 14, 2010 - 8:37 am

    last one here…. any advice welcome please sweet ladies,
    saggi, jane, jess and everyone,

    do u see, he knows he can get a rise out of me so he uses gal pal to do it.

    i had another section of post and it was erased:(

    it’s okay, i just love him so and was telling u that he knows this guy has been contacting me about the team and “m” said, i know he has been texting or calling whatever just have him call me.. and he also says stop doing things behind my back i am the coach.. i said okay… this was today when he did not acknowledge an apology for his accusations… he just act like no big deal…

    but he is also treating me like an acquaintance you see…

    now if this is so, then he may see some guy flirting with me?? because they have no clue that we are together in any way…. hm…

    please give me advice, i break this off? or just start turning down dates.

    the problem i have with breaking this off is i am afraid if i do, he will NEVER come back.

    but if i do break it off and he comes back, i have no s**, we start fresh, to get more emotional commitment, he has to want to take me on nice dates, a proper courtship…

    if i do not break it off and just start giving him consequences for his bad behavior, then will he start respecting me more, cut back on s**, regarding the s**, he has been getting waaaay more personal with me, kissing me wildly and very deeply you know more of an emotional connection…

    i am so crazy for him, but he just seems like he has lost all attraction for me, a wake up call is in order here.. i think it is the only thing for him to start respecting me and to get back my self esteem that i am allowing this man to break down… because of how he literally stays around her more and not me.

    xoxoxox mia
    so sad:(

    but he will only see the HAPPY ME tomorrow at church, i got him in a lie… and wonder how he will respond to me now… he has been so quiet after he text me… hmmmm…

  1439. #1439 by Jane on March 14, 2010 - 9:36 am

    Mia

    Sweet Mia first of all you are far too beautiful to allow this guy to do as he does when he obviously for now is not seeing it for himself. I know this is not what you want to hear, but I do think it is time for you to walk away, I am so sorry you are going through this with him, you do not deserve this but Mia it has to be you to change this, no one else can do it.

    He angry at you because he thought you told people you dating, so if its not dating what the hell does he think it is!!!!!?? That is what you must ask yourself Mia, and what it is you are going to continue to allow him to think it is!! Do you know what I mean!?
    You deserve so much more, and you know it!

    I am sorry, I know you love him and you are hurting, he is taking you for granted, you MUST switch this around and have him wonder what is happening.

    By breaking away from him completely (as hard as it is) you are showing him you have respect for you, that you donโ€™t need him and that you are not willing to continue this game he is playing with you.
    You are right a wake up call is needed her, this guy is stamping on your self esteem, you are questioning โ€˜youโ€™, losing yourself and that feisty, self confident, gorgeous woman I was introduced to hear is fading fast, pull yourself up, do not allow him the satisfaction, he does not at this moment deserve anything from you.

    I hope you are ok Mia, I donโ€™t wish to upset you, I have concern for you and feel how much this is dragging you down and affecting you so much.

    No more excuses for his behaviour, have you noticed I am not commenting on anything from your post that he has said (apart from date thing) the reason Mia, it is irrelevant, what stands out more is โ€˜YOUโ€™ and how all this is affecting you, do you see!?
    Walk away, keep him at arms length, be polite and friendly and thatโ€™s it, block him out, be yourself, the real self and watch how much you โ€˜shineโ€™

    You are right you are never going to gain this guys respect unless you turn this around, you can do this, but you have to mean it Mia and not give in to his charm!!
    Work on you and all you are, that is most important, you may find as you start to gain a clearer vision, this guy will fade or step up to the plate!!!

    I hope I was not too blunt Mia, I am being honest with what you saying, be strongโ€ฆ.

  1440. #1440 by Jane on March 14, 2010 - 9:41 am

    Mia

    Remember if this guy truly cares he will take notice of the change in you and you will no.
    Take care. Thank you Mia for your lovely words. x

  1441. #1441 by saggi girl on March 14, 2010 - 3:43 pm

    Jane,

    oh, my Lord. I posted a long message for you, but it went lost.. i hate it especially it was long..

    Congratulations.. Love puppy. sorry to pick on you like that..heehee hee, how great it is that your saturday ended up like this, it seems that your patience was finally paid off.. way to go, Gril. keep it up with the good work. more good news were expected to hear from you.. LOL

    well, i saw my bull yesterday as he called me on friday night asking to switch from Saturday to Sunday as he wanted to get something done, then i told him that i need to go to library to study on saturday, then he was like” well, if that is the case, we can not see each other this weekend.” then i was like:” ok, it is fine, no problem.” but actually when i said that, i felt a kind of bad, but you know, i told myself to be calm.. hehehe.. then he was like” ok, but i am still gonna call you on saturday after i’m done with church to see if you have free time..” then i was like” what time?” he was like” around noon.” i was like” ok. call me, so you are gonna be here like the normally time when you see me on sunday, right?” then he was like” Yeah, it is not that i do not want to see you, i asked to switch, and i called you ahead of time to notify you, you can get your study done on sunday, right?” then i was like” ok, call me after you are done tomorrow, see you tomorrow.”
    well, we see each other yesterday and he got toothache as he ate something in the morning at the church and hurt his teeth, he told me that he almost cancelled with me but he ate asprin and lie down in the car for a while, then he felt better…. i am glad that he did not cancle, otherwise, i would think he did tht on purpose, you know how we are.. but i am sure that i will act in a calm way if he cancelled on me.. hehehe..LOL

    we were planing to eat and see a movie, but we ended up staying in the restaurant unitl 8:pm as it was happened to be an irish bar and they have celebration.. we were giving t-shirt, and hat.. we put it on.. it was very funny.. but his toothache was kind of killing him, then he kept drinking cold beer to make it better..

  1442. #1442 by saggi girl on March 14, 2010 - 4:10 pm

    Jane,

    i just wanted to post before it get lost.. so, continuing..LOl

    then something funny happened last night when we were in the bar, he was kind of away from the table while he was taking picture with my phone about those live band performers.. then a guy approached me as soon as that guy came in, then he walked to my table and shook my hand and said hello and told me that i am so beautiful..blah blah.. then i was like” ok, thanks. ok ok.. ” as i do not know how to responde, and it was kind of embrassing me…i only said ok, thanks… then i noticed my guy looking at us and stopped taking pictures.. but he was still away from the table.. he was like staring at us with a question mark on his face.. then since i kept saying ok ok ok the guy, then he finally left. then my guy looked at me and sit back but did not say anything… then after a while, i said” that guy was funny.” then he was automatically jumping in and said” what did he say to you?” then i told him what he said, he was like” wow, he said that? he came on pretty strong.. then what after?” then i was like” well, since i kept saying ok.. he left.” then he did not say anything after that, but after a while, he blurted out like” wow, i can not believe he just walked up like that.”i was like”who?” he was like” that guy. the one talked to you.” he was funny and slow, after a while, he just blurred out like that..LOL

    then when we left, I was putting on my cloth, I guess that guy was staring at us, then he pointed to me if that is the guy.. then i was like” yeah.” then he aggressively stared back at him, you know.. those long stares… i was afraid that he is gonna do something, then i dragged him out.. but it was a fun night.. it was really fun.. as the st-patrick day celebration in that bar.

    well, make story short, we orginally planned to part our way after the bar, but he kind of changed his mind and wanted to order the pizza and go back to my place. we did and he ended up staying overnight.. but nothing happened.. i doubted if he is a gay. heheheh.LOL

    he left an hour ago for class about the judiasm.. kind of back and forth if he needs to go as he does not feel good about his teeth, then i did reserch on internet to see if there are some open on sunday, i found a few and asked him to call..so he can go either before or after the class..

    I walked him to his car and kissed the goodbye.. he told me to get things done and have a good day..

    I enjoyed the time and no drama. but i was kind of cold at the begining, and a little while later i warmed up.. and have been staying calm.. whatever he said, i was very calm to give back the opinion and does not take personal at all.. i was under control.. and was sure that i was at my best.. i was think he should be the one talking about the relationship.. not me anymore.. my option was still open without him aware of it.. hehehehe.

  1443. #1443 by saggi girl on March 14, 2010 - 4:17 pm

    oh, another thing was funny is when he saw one piece of rose at my apartment last night, he asked me who brought me that rose, then i said” oh, the training provider on woman’ day.’ then he was like” do you think it is appropriate to accept it?” then i was like” why not? it was just a piece of rose, was not a bunch of it..” then he was like” ok, but i do not think so”. It was funny how he respond to the flower and drama at the bar.. it cracked me up. he was trying to show his calm response, but his action says another.. funny.

    sorry, too long post..

    Jane, again, congratuations . keep up the good work. we will share more..

  1444. #1444 by saggi girl on March 14, 2010 - 5:10 pm

    Mia,

    i am sorry about what had happened and want to suggest that it is the time to leave and go on with your life without him. I can sense you won’t find peace when he is involved in your life the way it is now.. Mia, hold your head high and walk away from all of the mess he dumped on you or he caused you.

    Respect yourself and respect him. If someone tells you that you are not dating , then respect that. it does not matter what he said before or what he did to you, i know it is not fair for you to swallow all the bitterness when someone else played in part of it, but it is your life, i wouldn’t involve with a guy treating me like that. what the hell was he thinking he is? God?? kidding me.. he is just an asshole.. sorry for my language.. you won’t allow a guy treating you like that? when he needs your attention, he gave you signals that he wanted you, then as soon as he got what he wanted, he denys you are dating.. it does not matter how much he involves with that girl..focus on him and what he did to you.. your heart is too nice, i know it is good to be nice to people as that is what God asked us to be. But sorry, i was only nice to people who are nice to me.. that is all.

    Mia, stop being nice. You need to be mean to him from now on.. he was taking your good heart for granted.. WTF? sorry, i was just too mad, really really mad. if i was your friend in your real life, i would slap your face first and told you to wake up first and then kicked his ass to tell him to fuck off with whoever but not MIa.. but Mia, one thing i believe is that people only do things to you with what you allowed them to do…i am still learning…

    I was talking to my guy yesterday about how guys are playing around with woman, then he said” well, you can not blame guy for that. woman itself needs to step up and do something for herself. she needs to respect herself first.”

    Mia, cut all the contact and i would suggest that you switch to another church, you need to break it off from all the cycle…it was dangerous for you now to stay and see all of the mess. I don’t know what he was trying to do, but it was obviously that he does not care how you feel. sorry to be blunt, but it was just what i feel and can not lie about it especially to a person i concerned about.

    Mia, keep us posted. we are all here for you… all here.

  1445. #1445 by saggi girl on March 14, 2010 - 5:32 pm

    Mia,

    “the problem i have with breaking this off is i am afraid if i do, he will NEVER come back.”

    Let me tell you what i think, if a guy truly wanted you, he will come back no matter what… it is not becuase that you told him that you wanted him and you chose to stay with him and then he stays.. he only stays when he wants to stay.. that is why, i was thinking to leave my option open for now after what my guy told me, it does not matter if he is a bull, or he means it or not, i have no time to figure it out what he meant by considering if it is resonable for a bull to say something like that, i will take the face value and prepare myself to whatever it might be coming along in the future either bad or good, but i want myself to be confident and healthy first.

    I know i can be hurt but i won’t let him see when i was hurt, i have pride.. i will act happy even though my heart was broken into pieces.. that is called respect him and myself and keep the pride high..

    I do not believe being weak or being vulnerable and show him that i can not live without him is the way to attract them to stay… i was showing some vulnerableness too much to him before, i don’t like it as it was just not me.. i want to be strong, I don’t know if you see the movie” rumor has it” played by Jennifer Anniston. i remembered at the end, she wants to get her boyfriend back as she screwed thing up, but when the boyfriend said” well, you can not just walk in like this and tell me that you love me and you can not live withoutme to expect me to go back to you as i can’t.” then she hold her head high and said” i want to marry you because i love you, but you are wrong. it is not that i can not live without you, no, I can live without you, but i just do not want to.” then she hold her head high and walked out.. she was really hurt inside and i can see that, but she has the respect for herself and keep her pride even she was really vulnerable inside, i am sure. but she chose to walk out with pride….

    Mia, we all need to have those spirit with ourselves, sure, we love them.. we do, we are crazy for him.. but we need to love ourself first. if you can not love yourself, how could you expect the other person loves you????

    be cool. Mia, it was not a big deal at all. stop being nice to him, love youself and respect yourself.. do not play games. what i meant is to truly feel good about yourself.
    for me, there is one thing very important in my life is my pride.. i can not lose it.

    sorry, for being this wordy, but i really concerned about you.. i am still learning…long way to go for me too. LOL

    Smile, Mia. put a beautiful smile on your face and told youself ” well, it is not a big deal, not at all.”

  1446. #1446 by 2 bulls in china shop on March 14, 2010 - 8:45 pm

    I’m a taurus and three years ago met my first Taurus boyfriend, it only lasted three months but the connection was very deep, almost spiritual. We told each other ‘i love you’ often …he was very sensitive and the perfect boyfriend. When he ended it, he didn’t give a reason. We remained friends even though I wanted more. I knew he still felt deeply about me too. The reason I knew our connection was special was because of several things that happened which will seem a bit strange when i write them down as I cant be 100 percent sure if they really happened but i’ve never had this experience before. We were together once with some friends. we were having a cuddle on a really comfortable sofa …and i swear i heard music, beautiful music in my ears and i dont know if that was the love between us or someone was actually playing some music somewhere…sounds daft i know! the other thing was that after we had broken up (and I was still in love with him) I had a few extremely vivid dreams about us – nothing saucy, just that i felt that he was actually there with me and it did not feel like a dream at all. I was lying in my bed and i opened my eyes and he was sitting on the edge of the bed looking at me. and i think i said ‘you’re here!’ and that was it, i woke up…:(
    This lovely taurus boy was a bit of a hippie and into his tarot cards as well so maybe that had something to do with it but tell you what , i did look up astral projection on wikipedia after that…

    Oh just as a prelude, before I met this lovely taurus boy, i was in a 1 year relationship with a scorpio but it was way too destructive as he couldn’t be faithful. But after i met the taurus, i totally got over the scorpio…so thank the lovely taurus for that still…

    So now after three years I’ve met my second Taurus boyfriend, we dated for two months and he has called it quits without a reason. I think he doesnt want to hurt me by giving me any reason… but i am completely baffled that he called it quits as i had no clue we were headed this way. All seemed safe and rosy to me….but he told me later that he had been thinking about it for a long time. I asked him why he didnt discuss it with me while thinking about it. No reason. Makes me think there could be someone (an ex maybe) out there that he cant get over or he’s too busy trying to do a good job with something or the other…i cried when he was ending it but i know his mind is made up so although i let him know how i feel i know he wont call or even if he does, it wont be to tell me that he loves me. i think once its over for them, its over. being a taurus myself, once we move on, there’s no going back, we start doing something else, something different.

    I don’t know if its dishonesty, but being a taurus myself, when I start dating someone, I usually make them feel very loved and secure (even though I’ve just met them and not 100 percent sure how i feel about them) but i think its about making the best out of a moment and giving it your all but if there’s something missing to start with then it doesnt go much further

  1447. #1447 by Jane on March 14, 2010 - 9:06 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi to you, first of all I just noticed your post was posted on my computer at 3.45pm and I only received it at 8.30pm!!! Wow posts so slow so goodness knows what time you will get this!!! LOL

    Oh Saggi, I laughed so much at your guy (bless him!) in the bar with the guy giving you sweet attention, and then back at your place with the rose!!! How cute and jealous he is!!! Hey, he really did not like you getting attention from some other guy thatโ€™s for sure, that says a lot about him saggi, โ€˜you are his/ she is mineโ€™!!! Right!!

    Hey your bull must now learn that if he doesnโ€™t be careful and keep up good intentions then some other lucky guy is going to take you from him!! (I mean keeping your bull on his toes!) Hee hee.
    Also he thought the rose was off a guy too!! Lol
    I know its harmless but great for you he responded like that especially as you have been feeling vulnerable with the situation, plus your response show3ed your guy you had no idea about it which tells him he better โ€˜pull his socks upโ€™ eh!?!

    He adores you saggi, how very sweet and I would bet that he wanted to go back home with you because โ€˜heโ€™ was feeling insecure the the bar incident, wow what a turn around saggi, see these bulls really are โ€˜so delicateโ€™ really when they show there true self!!! Lol
    I am so glad you had a โ€˜no dramaโ€™ time with your guy and look how his attraction is growing for you and you didnโ€™t even have to do anything but be you real self!! That beautiful woman that he now knows other people are seeing too! Great!!

    Yes saggi โ€˜puppy loveโ€™ LOL LOL! Oh boy I am in deep love with him, I am really feeling him getting closer, we had the best time. Then today I just sent him a โ€˜hiโ€™ text and he called me and we on phone again for over an hour just teasing and laughing and saggi something so funny, he needed a shave and had some stubble which I donโ€™t see often and goodness he looked SOOOOOOO, sexy lol and I told him, I could tell how delighted he was that I commented on that, then today as we ending call he asked me to โ€˜keep in touchโ€™ so I text him again this evening and again he rang and we laughed and made fun on the phone for nearly an hour!!!! I cant believe it! I am so happy, although realise it could change at any time! Lol

    Saggi something interesting though as we where finishing earlier phone call I asked him how he would like our future arrangements to be done, does he want me to initiate, or does he prefer to do it. I explained that I just want to keep our communication clear so we not sitting back and waiting for the other to do it and guess what he saidโ€ฆโ€ฆhe said, โ€˜I will do it, let me sort it outโ€™. Well saggi what do you think about that!!??? I was thinking that was a good move I did that and (as long as he does it!) then it could work well. I felt he wants to take the lead, I checked it with him and he has agreed!! So I will have to see wont I !?
    Oh and also I am off work this coming week and only in work part of next week when he is off work too and he asked me a few times to tell him days I am off and when I said โ€˜oh you wont rememberโ€™! he said โ€˜I will because I have written it downโ€™!!!
    I am feeling like I am making some progress here for sure and I just do not want this bubble to birst!!
    Sorry such a long post saggi, but I must be forgiven as I am a โ€˜love sick puppyโ€™ LOL!!!

  1448. #1448 by Mia on March 14, 2010 - 10:10 pm

    Thank you Saggi and Jane…

    huge hugs to you as I sooooo needed to hear that.

    I so want to tell him to “f” off. And I want to TOTALLY avoid this man, yes ideally I want to switch churches, I want NOT to be in the vicinity of this man…

    But reality is I have waaaaaaay more invested in my church than he does. This church is big but we are in the same singles group. but I think of it this way too, going around the problem (fire) is to leave and go to new church, going THROUGH and FACING this problem head on holding my head up high (thru the fire) is staying at church continuing in choir, sunday school class and just staying away from singles’ group for now.

    We had all these huge plans to go camping/fishing all summer, he can’t wait. but of course he has not contacted me at all since all this. I was “nice” to him and his other gal friend this morning and noticed he looked back to ensure I was there after church. Oh Saggi, Jane I looked nice (sorry I don’t mean to brag but got lots of compliments on my outfit and cute tights [ i wear cool tights, these were black with tiny green lines through them with denim skirt, he loves that, ha! smile ] ) I could feel him drinking me in, but I walked away from him and then he left. probably going to gal pals house. it is like this guy TOTALLY did a 180 on ME….

    Remember Saggi, Jane, I am NOT PURSUEING him or initiating but I was responding to him.

    Here is my question, I can avoid him, yes I already do anyway, but BUT what do I do when he continually texts me and then asks why i keep avoiding his calls and texts… Do I say, “I don’t respond to guys that are ashamed of me in public, are actively pursuing other women, please leave me alone.” or do I continue NOTHING with this man…. just keep deleting and move on.

    I am beginning to think ANY response i give him is just amunition to him… that the BEST SECRET weapon a woman has against a man is “0” CONTACT. absolutely positively NO CONTACT.

    What if he says if i do not respond to him he will take gal pal camping from now on? hm… i guess?

    I do also know he grinned at me and was happy to see me last Wednesday at bible study, but because I kept to myself, he did NOT MAKE any attempt at conversation, he doesn’t now. when i looked back at him while walking ahead of him like i was kind of mad at him… i looked back and saw his face just before i opened the doors, Jane! Saggi!!! this was last Wednesday night, his expression was unlike I have ever seen on anyone!

    His expression was one of TOTAL DEFEAT… his head was down his shoulders slumped down, he looked so incredibly sad and totally give up mode, it was so sad I just wanted to grab him and hold him and kiss him softly… I just acted normal and kept walking and he separated from me and went through another door and picked a seat far away from me…. like we are not associated in any way…

    Saggi, Jane, if I am to be myself in this relationship, honey, I would be yelling at him and telling him to leave me alone and never come to me ever again…. I would let out all my venting and let him have it that IT IS OVER, I DO NOT DATE A GUY THAT DENIES ME, NOR DO I DATE OR CHOOSE TO BE ANYWHERE NEAR THE COMPANY OF A GUY THAT can’t wait to spend 24/7 in the company of another woman, come on, i am not an IDIOT, leave me alone, I DO NOT PLAY GAMES.

    That is the REAL ME that i have left so far back there… and YES I SHOULD HAVE HUNG UP ON HIM when he called me at work, the VERY FIRST SIGN OF ONE TEAR WELLING UP IN MY EYE AND I SHOULD HAVE JUST “click” …

    I must get back to feeling respect and love for myself here so i can be more in tune and recognize with ONE ounce of disrespect he gives to me. I used to be this way when we first were together, but I should have instantly checked his behavior the first time he acted like he did not know me at church the night after we first had s**. I say s** because this was not making love… to me it was, but he does not know what love is. he is what he is and i have so been in denial because he is so handsome, and when he is kind to me i’m so in love…. but sobering…. he is really a serial commitmentphobic… he goes from one relatiionship to another leaving nothing but a trail of tears, hurt and total destruction to the woman he chose and to the woman that allowed it. each one thinking they are different and he will love them… gal pal will probably be next…

    it is funny cuz i laughed so hard when i read what Saggi wrote about slapping my face to tell me to get it together and not allow ANYONE to treat me this way. I love it. I told my sweet girlfriend who is staying with me for awhile and she IS EXACTLY like the both of you all along, she has been telling me this ever since the very first time he stood me up! I told her what you said Saggi and she said, “Can I slap your face to knock some sense into you!?” lollllll She says she can spot his kind a mile away… I am too naive… and think everyone has good and decent intentions…

    I must realize no matter how sorry I feel for this man, I MUST treat myself with love and respect first…

    So you are saying I can tell him off, can give him silent treatment it doesn’t matter, just get far away and if I must be in presence of him, with softball, just be short but avoid him.

    will keep you posted, haven’t heard a thing from him today, yup, totally unlike him. it is like he is totally gone now. unbelievable…

    mia
    xoxoxoxox

    hopefully i will tell you I flipped him off, told him off, kicked his ass, NO CONTACT and he has sent me roses, been down on his hands and knees… begging me… and i still stay away…. and he won’t give up… then finally.. maybe…

  1449. #1449 by Mia on March 14, 2010 - 10:28 pm

    Saggi,

    Yes that is excellent about the guy telling you how beautiful you are!!! I certainly am not surprised!!! I know you are absolutely exquisite looking, so beautiful… I am so hoping that would wake up my guy as he is seeing me now sitting with and other guys talking to me…

    and Jane, yes that is great too! Ur guy does want to initiate and you got clarification very very good:)

    It is going to be alot harder than I thought with my guy I know.

    I thrive on his messages…

    Saggi! Jane! how about i just go on and get on one of the dating sites, argh!!! i sooo do not want to do that, but i think it best for my ego here and to take my mind off my guy… it is killing me here…

    i just love him so much it is killing me…. what is wrong with the idiot?????? my smartass guy is so mental here…

    it is so wierd cuz the last week i told him i think he hates me… he said i don’t know why you think i hate you… then he does something very se*ual with me in the truck….

    he has NOT made one romantic move with me, his actions (as he says, actions speak louder than words and last weekend he was telling me that he likes me because of my heart, hm)

    puleeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeee just give me something i can concentrate on when he texts me next and i do not respond….

    i have a feeling he will not try to contact me today or tonite, but may at work tomorrow….

    or he may never contact me again… total commitmentphobic. so need to get to dating others… so tired of this… so sad.

    oh Jane, i think the reason you see the difference in time is our differeing time zones? that is the first thing i thought of when i saw that…

    Relish your sweet guys, and this is going to be very very hard for me… especially when he is wanting to camp… remember we sleep in one tent so you know it is about camping but all the other stuff too… and i was standing up for myself telling him there is no way i will take separate cars if we go…

    i will take is one day at a time…

    Thanks all… and sending hugs to you!!!!!!!!!!

    mia xoxoxoxox

  1450. #1450 by Mia on March 14, 2010 - 10:39 pm

    sorry, i just thought of this and it is huge…

    he is going to vegas in a month, do u think he is distancing himself because he knows he will be bad there ? hm..

    also, i have to consider the facts, he has cheater mentality, remember he left me standing on new years, and when i found he had connected to another gal, i said to him, “hm, there must be another woman involved, and he admitted to running into an old friend” come to find out it WAS NOT THE SAME GAL HE CONNECTED WITH…. that is MORE than one woman.

    he seems to have all women friends at church… hm…. he does have 2 or 3 guy friends but i am never around them anymore… see? he is totally moving away from me.

    and also he was flirting with me heavily when he first met me…. and he acted like he did not know the woman we were going camping with… i thought we would kind of hang out together on camping trip, turns out SHE WAS WITH HIM… i told you this… i was shocked. i told him on trip, i did not know “you were already with another gal, it’s okay, we do not have to draw straws, you be with her in canoe!” he was like it’s no big deal…

    then he eventually left her for me… and she and he argued and he hung up on her too…

    hm…

    i have a feeling he is bad news and it’s so sad, cuz i wish i had a magic wand to fix him…

    sorry for all my long posts, and sending love…

    mia

    xoxoxoxo

  1451. #1451 by saggi girl on March 14, 2010 - 10:58 pm

    Jane,

    oh, i was a mess.. i was planing to study today but after he left… i was kind of sleepy as i did not sleep well last night when another person shares bed with me… that is always my problem.. but i did not tell him at all.. so, i have been sleeping but not studying.. i better do it tonight.

    well, i am happy for you about the things are going between you and him, let us celebrate the small accomplishment…How??LOL

    I think everyone even that they are taurus is still different, we need to better ourself and at the same time knowing what they want and how they react… but with patience. you did very well, Jane.

    I was commenting about my friend last night to my bull, i said” she was cooking together after work with the other girl everyday.. so this way, she can shif the focus off her man…” then my bull said” well, she is kind of needy. i do not like needy woman.” then i was like” was i needy?’ he said” it is ok, not that bad.” wow, it seems i was a little needy to him.. ok..not anymore…LOL

    one thing i forgot to mention last night is when i was in the bar with him.. i was kind of nervous as i was the only asian woman there, then i said” wow, i was the only asian here on st-patrick day.”actually, i did not mean bad… but he took it in a different way, he said right back at me” but you are the only beauty here….” then i was smiling and then he also said” it is ok, nobody cares..” i know he was trying to comfort me for whatever reason he thinks that i need to be comforted..but it is so nice and kind of him saying that to me to boom up my confidence..

    Jane, keep it up with the good work and at the same time work on yourself too.. it will make you feel good about yourself.. as woman, we need to be in control of ourselves. don’t you agree?

  1452. #1452 by saggi girl on March 14, 2010 - 11:14 pm

    Mia,

    what you need to do right now is to stay away from him. yes, 0 contact no matter how temptating it is.. do not give him another chance to play like this again.. it is enough. i know love is blind sometimes, but respect, respect, respect yourself..

    if you text him back or call him back again, i won’t comment on your post anymore. Period!!!! i mean it..

  1453. #1453 by saggi girl on March 14, 2010 - 11:17 pm

    Mia,

    i have already registered with one of the dating site like a week ago…do not wait to get things done when it is important.. just do it.. but do not expect too much out of it. but do this for yourself…

  1454. #1454 by Mia on March 15, 2010 - 7:47 am

    okay, okay! ah! saggi, 0 contact.

    it is killing me you know. i am falling asleep here posting this and having such bad nightmares.

    okay, about registering with dating site, yes that will help balance this.

    i need to KEEP thinking this guy is totally pitiful !!!!!!!!

    hey, I already deleted his contact before signing on here, so u would be proud already for me having done that, yup i was crying, it was so sad. saggi this was a HUGE step and i did this way long before reading ur post about u not commenting on my post anymore if i maintain contact, yup, this is ABOUT me now and me SEVERING all contact with him is mentally a step to free up my mind for my sweetie that God will be sending me someday …

    but how interesting, i clicked on his pic again and see YET ANOTHER Woman contact he just connected with Feb. 17… another woman who lives near here…. hmmmmm… he has a freaking flock of women. i think he is obvlious to how i can blatently see this when you click on him, or he just doesn’t care and thinks there is nothing wrong with it…

    http://socyberty.com/relationships/10-signs-you-are-dating-a-narcissist/

    this is so him… i see a pattern here…

    lack of empathy, no wonder he NEVER asked anything about me. truly i would get personal, like “enjoy your nite” all the time, he NEVER said that. even that. he could not say one nice thing toward my direction, only his… he would say off to bed now and then click off.. not even good nite.

    each time i would say something like “i had food poisoning last night” his next text would be, “you still going to give me the team list? when are u going to send?”

    literally the man NEVER commented on wishing me well, inquiring about me NOTHING… he feels absolutely NOTHING, he has no emotion.

    socially inept, ah that explains soooooo much. he would camp with me all weekend, but when leaving, he would hug ‘s’ goodbye, (she is the sweet lady who runs the campground oh and she was the one who told me to kick his a** to the curb when I told her how he treats me… she is expecting us camping, but she wants me to call her to let her know how we are doing… it will be sad but i will call and tell her), totally walk past me get in his truck and leave. i am serious. he had (has) “0” respect for me, i was dumbfounded. even the very first time i met him, it was like him and me and some other guy were talking and he just like walked off without us closing the conversation down first. that was my VERY first red flag. but i shrugged it off.

    i will be strong. sending love… mia xoxoxoxox

  1455. #1455 by Jane on March 15, 2010 - 9:08 am

    Saggi girl

    Hi, oh how funny you say you do not sleep well with someone else in same bed, me too!! Me and my bull only stayed in same bed one time last year, we didnโ€™t have sex and I tossed and tuned all night long because I not used to someone else being there so I know exactly what you mean!! LOL
    How sweet saggi you guys caring words to you in the bar, his lovely attempt to help you feel more comfortable, itโ€™s little things like that that melt my heart, and I guess yours too hee hee.

    Hey saggi how interesting that your guy picks up on your friend saying she โ€˜needyโ€™ wow they must really think that of us!!! LOL I will have to remember that!! Yes working on ourselves to is important you are right. I do think I focus too much time on him in my head, I always try to justify that though because I am just wanting โ€˜girlfriendโ€™ status from him, I donโ€™t know. I do know though saggi that I have neglected my studies because preoccupied with โ€˜himโ€™.

    I think the problem I sometimes have is if I am upset, worried ect then I find it so difficult to change focus and everything else gets forgotten until I can feel better, suppose it is selp pity or feeling sorry or myself!! Lol (oops drama!)
    I do need to toughen up emotionally, I hide it quiet well but boy do I suffer inside and I know that is not good.

    It is going to be hard but I am going to have to sit back and let my bull โ€˜leadโ€™ like he has said he wants too, I know Taurus like that so I am taking it as a good sign that he is getting closer to me.
    Thank you saggi for being so supportive and encouraging, I do wish we could celebrate a small accomplishment by meeting for coffee and a cake!! Lol how lovely that would be!
    It feels so much more positive for me at the moment, thereโ€™s like a magnetic connection that I canโ€™t explain, I know it sounds weird but I just feel it.

    Hope you managed to get some study done or your bull will be cross with you!!! Lol I am spending time doing mine now, or at least I am supposed to beโ€ฆโ€ฆ.

  1456. #1456 by Jane on March 15, 2010 - 9:24 am

    Mia

    Hello sweet Mia, I know this is such a tough time for you right now, 0 contact is the best for you all round, you know it!! You will get your self respect back for starters and give this guy a wake up call that he so needs!!! You are not going to be there at the end of a text/phone or whatever he if he truly wants you the way you deserve then he will step up, if he doesnโ€™t then it his loss and someone elseโ€™s gain! Right!!??

    Be strong Mia, we all here to support you, you know that. Sweet dreamsโ€ฆ..

  1457. #1457 by Jess on March 15, 2010 - 12:16 pm

    Jane,

    Wow I can feel you! love is in the air! LOL. I’m so happy for you Jane! I giggle and can imagine when saggi girl call you ‘love puppy’! hehe….It’s funny I read yours and saggi’s post lately and feel we are like a bunch of teenage girls talking/gossiping about our (taurus) men hehehe!

    Saggi girl,

    Thanks to your blessing! It was such a stressful lie with my parents on this weekend but it worths because we had such an intense night and day… My mum called to give me hard time when I told her I’m not coming home but staying a night with a friend instead. She really did give me a very hard time saying mean stuff that make me feel bad. When I finished talking to her my guy walked up to me and asked what my mum talked to me. AT the beginning I couldn’t tell him because I was holding my tears then he sit on his knee and comfort me telling me I need to share it with him so i told him all the stuff that my mum said and I couldn’t stop crying. My guy tried to sooth me making joke to make me laugh. We were out shopping stuff for his Europe trip. He bought me a whole new set of outfit, sexy dress, high heels, panties… I feel like a scene in pretty woman movie LOL!

    By the way, I also not sleeping well when having someone else in the same bed too LOL. I always woke up before my guy, I will came out to get something to eat and watch TV a bit then go back to bed snuggle him up for an hour then I got out again to use toilet then go back to him and out again to eat…LOL! He always make a joke about it that he was listening to me sneaking out of bed in the morning to poop…

  1458. #1458 by Jess on March 15, 2010 - 12:25 pm

    Mia,

    I really agree with Jane and saggi. I think you should not try to justify his action anymore. I don’t want to say too much as I have said so much earlier about this guy. I know you feel hurt to hear the hard truth which you somehow knew it… You are too precious for him and you know that Mia. You put up and handle him with patient and understanding all these time. So if this is going to work out, it must be right with you and it must be for him to reach up to you not for you to lower yourself to him.

    Cheer up Mia and be strong do not give in to him.

  1459. #1459 by Jane on March 15, 2010 - 12:52 pm

    Jess

    Hi Jess and thank you, yes we are a bunch of teenage girls at times!! Lol how funny and yes saggi calling me โ€˜love puppyโ€™ HEE HEE she is so right!!!! Lol
    I feel I am finally moving forward with him, slow process of course but hey like I could expect anything else eh!!?!!
    Thank you Jess for your encouragement and wise words, I am fast learning the Taurus ways and I love it!!!!! (well when they not driving us mad!! Lol)

    Jess, bless you and your lovely bull, that must have been so upsetting hearing your mum so annoyed and angry with you, how lovely your guy totally understands and is there with you for support.

    Hey hey, pretty woman walking down the street!!!!! LOL he wants to give his lovely lady the best hey Jess, how adorable he is.
    Jess, I totally respect and understand how difficult your situation is but do you know, you and him will make it, I really do feel that, based on lots of thingsโ€ฆyour understanding of him, his support of you, your love and devotion to each other to name but a few. I know you will both miss each other when he is away and it will strengthen your bond for each other for sure. You have 2 more week ends together before he leaves is that right? I hope and pray you get to spend as much time with each other as possible Jess.

    I laughed reading your post that you too canโ€™t sleep well when he in bed, how funny back and forth, back and forth!!!! LOL

  1460. #1460 by Jess on March 15, 2010 - 12:53 pm

    2 bulls in china shop,

    Thank you for sharing your story. I think that Taurus men are more insensitive and rude in every ways than the female (and I guess this also apply to every sign in general) You said it’s after 2 months then your second Taurus boyfriend call it quit, I think he is being honest and fair to you even he didn’t tell you the reason may be he doesn’t want to hurt your feeling more. Its better to end now than stringing you along to end it later, that would be very bad for you.

    Punkygirl,

    I’m not sure if you can take it seriously with a Taurus guy that you have never met in real. I mean Taurus men are very objective and they need to have all the contact in real (phone and text doesn’t matter much for them) they need to get and own their women in real too. I think you should let him initiate and plan for the meeting up because if you plan and make your way to see him, that way it’s too convenient for him and he will not admire or appreciate your worth (Taurus men need to get the feel that you are not easy to acquire to be wanting to chase and want you). If he is willing to work on meeting you it means he is taking ACTION to work hard on making it happens.

    Oh do not worry too much about him feeling abandoned, most of the time it’s the other way around…

  1461. #1461 by Jess on March 15, 2010 - 1:27 pm

    Jane,

    Thank you for your blessing and supporting words. I doubt but wish me and my bull can make it because he told me already he knew exactly how conservative and hard culture some Asian family can be and in my case it’s harder than others. He said only wants me not my family and wish nothing to do with my family… I don’t bother arguing or explain anything more with him because it’s too early for us at this point as we don’t know how much we want each other in the future, and you know it’s useless to try to convince a bull to believe it your way once he already established a certain believe in his mind…

  1462. #1462 by saggi girl on March 15, 2010 - 2:01 pm

    Mia,

    getting over somebody does take times to recover. Mia, give yourself some time and came here to vent, we will be here for you.. do not be afraid..be brave and be strong.

    he is just an asshole. whenever you thought about him, think this– he is an asshole.

  1463. #1463 by saggi girl on March 15, 2010 - 2:38 pm

    Jess,

    I am so jealous of him buying you so many gifts…crying…LOL

  1464. #1464 by Jess on March 15, 2010 - 3:10 pm

    saggi girl,

    Dont get jealous, those are really cheap flashy stuff, more like prop in bed….hehehe!!! But it’s just the fun because normally guys don’t like to go shopping with girlfriends but its much more fun when you are out shopping together for each other and i let him choose sexy crazy outfit for you! I told him next time we will do that for him! LOL!

  1465. #1465 by saggi girl on March 15, 2010 - 4:21 pm

    Jess,

    hehehe.. still jealous. my guy does not want to go shopping with me.. only one time, we went to grocery shopping together for thanksgiving because i begged him to… but he was like going directly to the food session and walked out.. the whole event only cost 2 minutes.. so sad..LOL

    I spoke with my mom this morning as it has been 2 weeks of no communication with them as they are mad at me staying with my bull. they got their reason to be mad at me… my mom simply told me to decide for my own life and they are disppointed at me for not listening to them, they are not gonna be concerning for me anymore because they know i am still going to do what i want to do no matter what they say. feel a little bit sad when i heard her saying that.. she orginally planned to fly here to stay with me for a month before she lead back to home country, right now, she decided not to come.. because she said it is really sad to watch me doing something irrational and stupid and she also does not want to argue with me..

    i don’t know.. i am at my late 30’s and had made mistake about my relationship before…i guess i worried them..

  1466. #1466 by Jane on March 15, 2010 - 4:30 pm

    Hey I am jealous too!!!!!!!!!! LOL

  1467. #1467 by Punkygirl on March 16, 2010 - 3:53 am

    I’m starting to get a little disheartned reading all this – There are some Taurus men that get married and settle down into happy relationships, right? I mean it must happen sometimes….

  1468. #1468 by Mia on March 16, 2010 - 6:55 am

    Hey all,
    I am better today! I still did not get but about 3 hours sleep, but I had a much better day today, got much accomplished and even was able to bake a dish to take to a friend at church who had some surgery.

    Ironically, “m” called me, NO! I DID NOT ANSWER!… smile. I saw my phone ringing and he left me a message. He was very nice and cordial and friendly. ironically, he too was going to take something to the same friend tonight and when he called her boyfriend, her boyfriend told him that i was going to be baking a dish to take for her tonight. he said, he can’t cook something complicated like a taco casserole, and he laughed (that was very nice for him, a sign of genuiness from him when he does that chuckle)… Overall it was a very nice respectable message.

    I did bake it (two, one for my house too:) and it turned out very nice! ( i had never baked it before )…

    i know you guys know this, for when you get some distance by your own doing like i am, it can be quite empowering and I do feel more empowered now and more of myself is coming out. I am feeling more like my confident self here and because of that and the reading i am doing on “boundaries”, then I am realizing that there is not one thing more important than me taking care of me first.

    This book on boundaries is helping me to realize just where in my childhood i was abused (passive parents and some abuse, not detrimental, but even though I did not consider it a big deal, I am realizing from the book that no matter how small impression I thought it left on me, it was way more serious than I thought and it IS indeed the reason why I don’t have the healthy filters you do when recognizing or ignoring abusive tendencies from people to me) yeah, the book says that recognizing it, then taking steps to get your boundaries stronger will help greatly in relationships with your partner.

    Jane, thank you for your kind words! They help me more than you can know! Jess, Saggi, about to read yours now too, thank you and hugs to you!

    Yes Jane, I do feel stronger today. I do feel I will get back my self-respect and am working on yet another team for our church with the same guy that “m” was showing signs of jealousy with. don’t worry, i am not thinking he will come around BUT knowing that he will indeed loose me if does not put forth efforts to step up to the plate, yes, i do see that clearly now. and i can’t dwell on that, that is for God, but God sees my heart and as long as I feel God’s blessings that I am getting stronger for it then I am blessed.

    i do not ever want a guy that has no interest in me and no guy again will ever go anywhere near my precious body (it is the only one i got, so need to take special care of it:) unless we know each other for a very long time and that i know he has romantic intentions, not just friendly… ( i mean like asking u on a date and wanting to learn more about you:)

    Lastly, I am so like you Jane, in that I can’t study or concentrate when I am in an emotional turmoil over my guy, I have always been like that! it is like, I have to get it fixed before I can get anything else accomplished. it is that feeling of being in control of your emotions. but realizing you are way more than you think, it is ONLY a state of mind:)

    when i start thinking like i am my new most popular cool friend, then i start thinking any guy would be lucky to want to date me. John Gray puts it nicely… women should act like what can the man do for me to earn my affections, and men should act like, what things can i do for her to like me?

    I am starting to have sweet dreams again, thank you Jane, sending you hugs and love, so happy for you and your guy!!!

    mia xoxoxoxoxo

  1469. #1469 by Jane on March 16, 2010 - 7:48 am

    Mia

    Hi Mia, you are doing so well, it is not easy. You made me cry when you said, โ€˜โ€ฆ.no guy again will go anywhere near my precious body, itโ€™s the only one I got so I need to take precious care of itโ€™. How true and it is wonderful to hear what you need right now and always which is to love โ€˜youโ€™, and protect you because you are far too valuable and prescious and so important that is.

    You are gaining strength in all you do, there you are helping others baking โ€˜Taco casseroleโ€™ sounds delicious!! Mmmm! Post me recipe please!! Sounds so nice.

    Yes you are feeling more empowered which is amazing, keep that focus Mia, you did such a good thing not answering his call, always putting you first where he is concerned will push you forward to where you need to be.

    Remember Mia, right now at this moment this guy does not deserve anything from you, he hasnโ€™t earned any right yet. The power is all yours!!

    God bless you, keep shining Mia, all here for you x

  1470. #1470 by Jane on March 16, 2010 - 7:58 am

    Mia

    One last thing, of course any guy would be lucky to date you, you are such a special lady in all you do. The right guy is waiting for you, you will see and he will appear when you least expect it!! Be sure of thatโ€ฆ..x

  1471. #1471 by Mia on March 16, 2010 - 8:48 am

    Ah, thank you sweet jane…

    I very much appreciate ur words of support and ur words of wisdom.

    2 things stands out in ur post that i need to remember each moment of each day.

    putting myself first where he is concerned… and knowing that he does not deserve anything from me for he has NOT earned the right yet to deserve anything from me…

    sending you much love and i will write down the recipe! it is very good !!!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  1472. #1472 by Mia on March 16, 2010 - 9:31 am

    Jess,

    Thank you for your profound words too!

    I love the imagery for me to not lower myself to him but for him to reach up to me… and the only way is for him to think that he has lost me, and i am already thinking that now in my mind…

    i think for me everything went downhill the moment he thought he had me and i allowed it by letting him be intimate with me, the very first time…

    when he had not even proven to me that he was even half way serious about dating me at all… it just never got beyond the friendly favors he kept offering and doing for me which was very sweet, but he never made any attempt to court me, date me, learn anything about me or even tell me more about himself really… i won’t make excuses for him, but do know it is him and not me for i am now actively choosing not to take this personally and it has absolutely NOTHING to do with me.

    my power is this: if He (person A) chooses to treat me in a certain manner (crappy) then he needs to realize that me (person B) will ALWAYS have a consequence (action) waiting for him…

    and the ultimately deal breaker consequence is… total silence.

    oh and my promise i have made unto myself is to be sure to be very happy, calm, cool and collected each time i happen to be around him. i am not going to bible study this week.

    Jess, i feel for you and Saggi’s family situation and found this link:

    http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t28351/

    there is the movie i was thinking of and now i remember it… ‘Bend it Like Beckham’ something like that… it is very good and you probably have already seen it…

    the link above is a blog/post page that concerns info and advice for asian parents disapproval over their daughter/son’s choice for marriage. it may help you.

    Saggi, thank you too! my recovery is the act of living thinking of me first, being selfish wherever he, i mean asshole is concerned ๐Ÿ˜‰

    so sorry about ur mom/mum and her strong, stinging words to you. i went through what u both are going through with my mom/mum a few years ago… i was in a relationship for 5 years whom my mom did not approve of, and it was excruciating because you see a side to your mom/mum that you have never seen before. It is disillusioning and you think you are in the Twilight Zone or in another world because never would you think your mom/mum would treat you in this manner??? i did ended it kind of like this one but more passive abuse, and my mom/mum and i are fine now. but i ended it based on my relationship with the guy becoming very unhealthy for me, not for my mom.

    i felt very alone, and it has been a Godsend for me to find this blog to know i am not alone here…

    Punkygirl, 2 bulls in china store,
    yes, it does happen for a taurus to get settled into a happy relationship and probably more stable and loyal than any other. that is one reason why i am working so hard on myself as this is the 2nd taurus guy for me, my last one was a taurus too (my 1st taurus guy) and that lasted 2 yrs. he was emotionally available and very gentlemanly, respectful… this one is going into 1yr until mentally i have ended it. he does not know this yet, but he was using me more for FWB and i was in denial. my denial is what got me, because i had the expectations of a relationship he was not giving me, so i became “jealous” as he says and told him i was befuddled how he could go out with me yet wish to be associated and hanging out lots of gals, one in particular… that created him disrespecting me and i became even more insecure and needy… until he had practically all apathy for me…

    ironically this is pretty much a cookie cutter of the 5 year guy (not my last guy the taurus)… i gave way too much with the 5 year guy and gave way too much with this one too…

    and the last taurus guy??!!! he was at church this past Sunday! he saw me in the choir singing and i could see a woman sitting beside him. it was just about this time last year, he broke up with me. but i am very much over him thank goodness, it was hard but when this guy came, i was so smitten…

    now i am shifting all that attention to where it belongs ALWAYS… to me! ( the guy in my life and in my future marriage will have to work his way into my busy schedule ๐Ÿ˜‰

    love and hugs,

    mia xoxoxooxoxox

  1473. #1473 by saggi girl on March 16, 2010 - 1:36 pm

    Mia,

    i am so proud of you and do not feel alone as we are all here…

    I know how hard it is, i couldn’t sleep well when i ended my first serious relationship and i lost 30 pounds.. i stayed at home with the curtain close and do not answer any phone calls.. i think i was in depression… you are doing far better than me now..

    i will send you more…

  1474. #1474 by saggi girl on March 16, 2010 - 2:08 pm

    Mia,

    sometimes, God was watching to see how strong you can be, I believe everything happened for a reason and everyone comes to your life for your reason. sometimes, it is for good, sometimes, it is for bad. we learn from the bad and turn into good for our own sake..

    Mia, i am sorry to hear what happened in your childhood, it might be the time now for your to clear all of that. Sometimes, universe is far more interesting than we recognized.

    I am really proud of you, really. i support your decision for not going to the bible study this time, you need more time on your own to figure things out than going to bible study with him insight, it will ruin everything you have just settled. you need to go to church with him in your sight when you are strong enough. you know what i mean?

    Keep us posted. we are all here for you. we can get pass this together.

    loves and hugs..

  1475. #1475 by Jess on March 16, 2010 - 4:33 pm

    saggi girl,

    I totally understand your position and I also understand your mum too Live your life to your best at least live the most happiest life you could. Do not worry about mistake, mistake means it was done so it is the past and it was there for you to learn and to grow up. Everybody made mistake, not once but many! I so dislike even hate some of the Asian culture that is so unfair for women. Saggi girl, your life must go on and you must be happy whatever happen with the relationship with your bull! I said that to me also.

    Cheer up!

  1476. #1476 by saggi girl on March 16, 2010 - 4:56 pm

    Jess,

    thanks for your comfort and i guess my problem is that i told my parents too much about my relationship with my bull, when he misbehaved, i complained to them. then they rememebered the bad without thinking about the context. I know they are trying to protect me and want me to have a peaceful life before they can not help anymore.. i do not know, i called my parents again, my dad said some mean stuff and even told me not to do drugs.. i was so mad and sad, how a father can say something like this to his own daughter, in a million of years, i would never think that my dad can say something like this to me especially he knows how i am.. i do not even know what the drug is…i was so foreign to that.. i was in shock this morning.

    i was trying to explain, but my mom ended up hanging up on me.. my dad even said that he does not have me as daughter anymore..

    yeah, life needs to go on, i must be happy whatever happen with the relationship with my bull as that is my decision..

    thank you, Jess.

  1477. #1477 by Jess on March 16, 2010 - 5:21 pm

    saggi girl,

    My parents also said mean stuff to me like thousand times… and even I know they just did that to make me feel bad, I can’t help feeling sad and I promised myself if I ever have a child of my own I will never purposely said or did thing that make my child feel bad. I think this is unconsciously attract me to date men from other cultures/race than my own. Saggi girl, don’t feel shock it’s nothing new or surprising as us
    Asian girls know exactly how our culture is so hard on women… Keep your spirit strong!

    Lets talk about my bull LOL! Sorry but he is in my mind a lot lately (like all night all day…LOL!) Today he asked me if I went home crying again on Sunday night, I was a bit surprised but happy that he concerned. He never asked me this before knowing how I had to lie to my parents every time when I be out on trip or spending nights out with him. He said he wish I’m ok and always tell him the truth. I told him I always tell him everything but when I was in a moment like that (being emotional or sad) I can’t talk because if I did I will cry and get depress. He said I need to share my feelings with him or to whom I think I can share it! Wow my heart jumped hearing that from him! I look at it as a sign of emotional commitment. On the past weekend, he told me a lot more about his parents and his friends in a way that he never shared before. Now I’m still a bit amazed how thing move much faster once I got the ‘girlfriend’ title! We still don’t talk on the phone but a couple times already he mentioned about calling me…

    He is leaving in 10 days… I wonder how it’s going to be and how we are going to keep in touch because I’m quite sure he is not going to call or get online or text so much… so it’s going to be another big practice for patient for me.

  1478. #1478 by saggi girl on March 16, 2010 - 7:35 pm

    Hi,

    Jess, i am sorry that he is leaving in 10 days but at the same time so happy for your fast movement in your relationship with your bull after you got the title.. it was really amazing, isn’t it? I can not believe those words come out a bull’s mouth, see, it seems they do have soft spot in their heart but it was reserved for someone special– which is you…

    It will be test for both of you with this long distance relationship within these 3 months, i think he will come out with an idea how to keep in touch, you never know he might ended up calling you very often, or text you ofen.. It IS a big practice for your patience, but i am sure that you will work it out, i was thinking you might be able to travel to see him.. if you can work it out with your parents..

    i think my problem is that i shared too much with my bull but you did not share anything with your bull. Jess, share something with him when you are sad or being emotional, as this way he will feel that he was needed.. I can see he really loves you and his heart has alreasy started melting for you.. heeheehee. how good it is..

    hang in there, things will work out in their own term…

  1479. #1479 by Jane on March 16, 2010 - 10:02 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi, saggi I can relate to what you say about telling โ€˜too muchโ€™ about your bull!!!
    I know it is somewhat different for you as it is your parents so it makes it harder but for me it was a close friend who I confided in when I have hit a low down point and as you said sometimes forget the context of what you told, so when things going good its like they waiting for the bubble to burst to say โ€˜I told you soโ€™ !!

    I think us women do that, we have this need to discuss, off load (like here lol) and sometimes when it people close to us we say too much!!!
    I do think saggi your parents have their own โ€˜protectiveโ€™ concerns for you, as mothers and fathers do and no doubt they always will, and you will always choose what is right for you anyway no matter what, your parents probably know that too!!

    I think they carry such expectations and forget you a grown woman, hey to them you still โ€˜their little girlโ€™ they love you and that just takes over for them. I do hope they ease up on you saggi, I guess it really upsetting to hear those things.
    Chin up x

    Jess

    Oh Jess such a tough time for you at the moment, 10 days until he leaves, I feel so sad for you. He loves you so much and how sweet all his concern for you!!
    He fully understands the stress you go through with your family, and so bad wants it easier for you.
    How sweet jess and very interesting how your guys emotions creeping in for him as he getting close to you, he just like you feels upset that 10 days time you will have distance for a while. Jess I agree with saggi, I very much think that this will be the time your bull will do the โ€˜callingโ€™ I know he doesnโ€™t usually work that way but hey this will be different for you both and I am sure he will find/do anything possible to keep the lines of communication open for you both.
    As saggi said his heart is melting for you and I am so happy for you jess, you will both get through this for sure. It will be tough, you have us (small consolation I know lol) and we will support you and before you know it he will be back.
    I do hope you see each other as much as possible until he leaves. Good luck with that jess. Be strong x

    Since I saw my guy at the week end he has called me twice on Sunday, yesterday and again today, plus texts!! I can feel a definite change in him towards me!! I am keeping nice and calm as he may just โ€˜pull backโ€™ at any moment! Lol
    He has really been opening up to me, confiding in me about things happening in his life that he facing at the moment, I am showing support and telling him, also listening to him which I think as brought us closer. He has said to me that I am โ€˜so reassuringโ€™ and he needed to hear it, so I guess that was good and scored me some points! Lol
    He has moved job, so some stress and I am finding that he is turning to me for support so I am happy about that. He wanted to see me tomorrow and was coming for a meal but now with this new job situation he is unable to and he apologised and said we will see each other as soon as possible, so all good.
    I donโ€™t know if you saggi or jess have ever noticed when you guy getting closer how he sounds โ€˜upbeatโ€™ โ€˜happyโ€™ โ€˜making funโ€™ on the phone, oops, maybe I am over analysing again!!!!! LOL
    Chin up to you lovely ladies, things will work out with your families I am sure once they are reassured and see you truly happy, so getting there will be a little easier! Bless you both its so good we all got each other here! xx

  1480. #1480 by saggi girl on March 17, 2010 - 1:56 am

    Jane,

    you are such a sweet lady.. very much. yeah, i know it is hard for me to shut my mouth especially to my mom when i have problems. But, right now, i realized that i should have not and i will not share too much with my mom or even my sister anymore. as sometimes, things are getting better but they will mention the bad i shared with them to warn me, which will put me into the iceberg again when i feel highly excited…

    even my bull told me when i told my sister we broke up for the first time, he told me not to tell the family member anything unless it was certain no matter good or bad.. but i just could not shut my mouth, i guess it is true that woman and man are different or maybe it was just me..

    as for getting closer when they sound “upbeat’… i am not sure as my bull sometimes sound happy when he was in good mood, but sounds stressful when he was tired… but i guess when they are getting closer, they will share a lot of thing with you about his family or his secret.. or consider your feeling more.. that is how i tell. But people might be acting different in same scenario..one way for me to tell if my guy is getting closer or not is he considers more about my feeling… but i do not know, he still looks selfish to me in general..LOL

    Jane, are you young? sorry, i was just curious.. as i felt I am old now..LOL

  1481. #1481 by Jane on March 17, 2010 - 10:47 am

    Saggi girl

    Hi saggi hey how lovely you are calling me a sweet lady, thank you saggi but hey donโ€™t be fooled I too donโ€™t know when to shut my mouth at times!! Lol

    Seriously though, I do understand how difficult it can be when family and friends say things you donโ€™t want to hear, I know they have our best interests for us but goodness we are going to do what WE want anyway!! Lol I mean we have to make our own mistakes in life and learn from them that is after all how we grow to our potential. We are grown women after all!! Oh saggi I laughed you ask am I young!!!! How funny as here is me acting like a love struck puppy with my guy and saggi I am older than you I think!!?? I am early forties!! Still growing up!!! Hee hee

    Saggi I get what you mean about โ€˜upbeatโ€™ when happy and not so when stressful, boy I know that!! Lol I do feel the fact that he is opening up to me, revealing more and trusting me tells me a lot. It is so true when a Taurus happy they love to talk!!! We have talked since Sunday everyday on the phone (that is different!!) for about an hour each time, we do get along very well.
    Saggi how funny you say โ€˜he still looks selfish to me in generalโ€™ yes I agree to that as I cant say for sure he is considering my feelings yet!! I mean he asks me everyday how I am and how my day was, do you mean things like that?? I will have to notice more closely!!
    What I have really noticed is how he plans ahead with me, never did do that before, that is most recent, like he booked time off work to come to my sisters wedding with me, also planning to spend day off together although that hasnโ€™t happened yet!!! Lol he remembers dates/events and tells me.

    I donโ€™t know if you do this but it is a lot of fun, I study body language so it is very interesting checking him out and of course people in general, I get information (non verbal) by doing that and look for consistency, lol funny. I also pay close attention to my own body language!! Goodness cant give too much away!! LOL LOL

  1482. #1482 by saggi girl on March 17, 2010 - 1:33 pm

    Jane,

    yeah, it was funny to study body language and get to know the bull we have in our lives…but sometimes, it was such a pain in the axx. hehehe.

    yeah, my bull asked the same question everyday like how was you day? your day was ok? something like that. but we did not talk that long( i am jealous now), we only talked 5-10 minutes as he normally calls me before he goes to bed.. we haven’t talked for 2 days as he chose to text me good night before he goes to sleep instead, but i am sure that he is going to call tonight.. you know how sticking to routine they are…

    the problem about my bull is that he got home normally after 9pm..

    can not complain.. at least he stays in touch…calm calm calm..hehehehehe

  1483. #1483 by Jane on March 17, 2010 - 9:51 pm

    Saggi, Jess, Mia

    Hey hope you all ok. Well me and my guy got together this evening after all!! Lol
    He didnโ€™t think he could make it with his job but any way he did and he has just left. So saggi I am back to โ€˜love sick puppyโ€™!!!! lol We had a lovely time, lovely meal, he loves my cooking so I do believe it so true that way to Taurus heart through stomach because we deffo getting closer!! Hee hee

    He really opening up to me, talking deeper I do feel that.
    Oh I was so embarrassed as he was leaving I was standing on step and he off it and he picked me up, swung me around and would not put me down!!! Lol I was screaming and laughing and he was laughing so much too as he new how embarrassed I was!!! So funny I was blushing so bad!! Lol
    He has such a funny sense of humour, he makes me smile so much!!

    Saggi, about the phone thing, we have always spoken on the phone for very long time and it strange really because I know these bulls donโ€™t like the phone much. He always initiates that though, and apart from it being 4 times since Sunday he has called me, before that it was 1 time every few weeksโ€™ .I have called him in the past and he doesnโ€™t answer!!!!!!!!
    Their terms always as we ladies know!!!

    Saggi I hope your guy calls you tonight instead of text!

    Jess, hope you and your guy doing ok and managing to see each other, I suppose you will face your parents force once your guy has left eh as seeing him, spending time is important to you both. Fingers crossed for you Jess.

    Mia, really do hope you are doing ok and managing to keep your guy at arms length!!
    I realise you will be up and down with how you feel, donโ€™t lose your focus Mia and remember how special you are and if he donโ€™t see it then it his loss!! Right!!??
    Keep strong, you can do this.

  1484. #1484 by saggi girl on March 17, 2010 - 11:20 pm

    Jane,

    hehehehe…”love sick puppy” again. See, love is so beautiful, when you love somebody, you see everything like in paradise. heehee!

    I can smell spring coming.. the day time is getting longer now. Hope we all have a fruitful spring in some way… either with our relationship or career or something else. let us keep working on it..

    my parents was back in contact with me but asked me to dump my bull. They told me anyone is better than my bull because of his financial, temper problem, or blah blah…i hated that i shared too much with my parents. well, that is it, i won’t share anymore.

    It is a very hard-to-explain-feeling towards my bull, i know he has all of those shortcomings but i still choose to stay.blind, blind, blind…

    Mia,

    hope you are doing ok too. i thought about you today on my way home and wondering how you are doing.. be strong, you have to…

  1485. #1485 by Jane on March 18, 2010 - 7:26 am

    Saggi girl

    Lol oh my goodness yes love sick puppy for sure!!!!! It is getting harder and harder being with him and not being affectionate with him, I keep struggling with it as I think, โ€˜why is he not wanting to kiss me, hold meโ€™!!??
    I find it strange (especially a man) how he can hold it back and just be happy with not too much โ€˜touchโ€™.
    He text me last night after he left and before sleep and again as I woke up so I know I am โ€˜in his headโ€™ I just want to be in his heart too!!! GGRRRRR!!!! So frustrating.

    A funny thing has just happened, I was replying to his message and sent it to my cousin by mistake!!!! OMG I was just so glad I didnโ€™t say anything in it meant only for him!!! IMAGINE!!!!! Oh no, I mean I still feel embarrassed as she doesnโ€™t know about him as I donโ€™t see her much anyway and his name was in text too!!! Oh well nothing I can do hee hee. Could have been worse I suppose!!

    I think because I feel us getting closer, even more so since he got back from trip (maybe he had thought makeover while he there!!!) I am getting impatient and frustrated with his โ€˜layed backโ€™ โ€˜slow speedโ€™ Oh boy!!
    I keep telling myself, โ€˜well good things come to those who waitโ€™!!!
    So I will waitโ€ฆโ€ฆ.

    Saggi I am glad your parents back in contact but not glad they asked you to dump your guy, ah bless you that is just not a nice thing to hear for you. Yes I think not telling them anything from now on is the way to go, I mean even once or twice mention a nice thing from him (even if it hasnโ€™t happened!) just so they can slowly change their opinion of him on their own. So hard trying to keep them happy and your bull too. Saggi did he call you before sleep!???

  1486. #1486 by saggi girl on March 18, 2010 - 1:32 pm

    Jane,

    i know how fraustrating it is when they are too slow especially when you are on fire already..LOL

    No, he did not call. Instead, he texted me again at 10:20pm..but i felt into sleep aleady, his text is like” good night baby with kisses. Miss you and i will try to talk with you tomorrow.” well, i did not reply to this text as i was asleep and not feeling well due to my monthly event.hehehe. but i replied this morning and let him know that i was asleep and not feeling well.. hope he does not mind that i did not reply to his text..

    See, they are so hard to understand.. so that is why i quit trying to understand him.. he indicated in the text that he misses me but why not call??? instead, he texted.. i just did not get it.. It seems recently, he was very persistent with text, oh, boy, he might be turning into Jess’s boyfriend.. no call, just text..LOL..

  1487. #1487 by NyNy on March 18, 2010 - 9:04 pm

    OMG! I’m so glad I found this site. I only have office email but I’ve been so incredibly stressed with my Taurus there were times I thought I was loosing my mind. I love him so much; yet he is precisely identical to each and every post with respect to characteristics that I’ve read. I printed over 300+pgs yesterday to take home & read b/c I was so freaked to learn that I’m not the only one in love with this strange creature. I’m 54 and he is 51. He’s been married twice. I’m hesitant to say anymore b/c the “ex” could be a participant on this site. It’s a small world and, honey, @ my age, you learn to be cautious. Yep, when we are together, it is absolute bliss-passion beyond one’s imagination. I think everything is cool so I’ll txt him or send him a sweet email & BAM!!!!!!!!!!!! he “clams up,” retreats to his cave & treats me like I don’t exist. It’s bizarre. I become incredibly pissed off, yet I can’t stay that way for long, I yearn for him & can’t wait until he comes around. I want to marry this man. Sounds sick right but, I do. So much more….so much more to say. I have to be discrete since I’m @ the office. All I know is I love him with all my heart & soul. I’ve placed him on my new “ignore button.” Right now, I am irritated w/him so he can kiss my behind b/c he has made me very angry. I’m an Aries. It’s said that Aries women & Taurus men don’t make good mates & will never have a wonderful & meaningful relationship. I don’t want to believe that. Victoria Beckham is an Aries and hubby David is Taurus & they are a fabulous couple. For the record, my Bull is a white guy and I’m a black woman. If you could see us together ladies…we are an absolutely beautiful couple. I’m so excited about this site that I’m just typing whatever comes to mind. At any rate, thank you so much. I’m glad I have a venue where I can vent and where other women understand my joy, my pain, my sunshine, and my rain.

  1488. #1488 by Jane on March 18, 2010 - 9:10 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi saggi, I laughed so much as you have me worked out well, I am on fire!! LOL How funny!!
    I just wonder how he not on fire too!!! Lol He has that Taurus control that I do not have, although I am learning to have it fast! Did your guy hold back in the beginning? I just want some affection from him, its there in every other way, but I want him to touch me!! I feel crazy saying that but I donโ€™t think it too much too ask, donโ€™t want to pressure him as things are progressively getting so much more close between us I guess I just have to keep stretching my patience!!! I know Jess said that her guy admitted that he was โ€˜making her lust for himโ€™ by doing same thing, like making her want him and she said may be my guy doing same thing!! My god its torture!!! LOL LOL

    You are so right, these guys for sure difficult to work out at times, he misses you so the common sense thing to do is to call you to hear your sweet saggi voice!! Right!!??!! You would think but yes there logic in outer space!!!
    Well my guy new I was out tonight for meal at a friends house for her birthday so he hasnโ€™t been in touch tonight so I text him 2 hours ago to see how his day went as he had a big day at work, he hasnโ€™t replied!!

    Maybe doesnโ€™t feel like talking or being in touch with me tonight!! The contact has been constant for past four days so maybe he slowing things down again, tired from hard day maybe, I donโ€™t know, will have to wait and see I guess!!! I am like you having my monthly event so not feeling good and emotional too!!! Goodness!!

    So saggi, your guy sounds like he is wanting to talk with you tonight, he will be missing you more by then lol Who knows where the logic will be by then!!!

  1489. #1489 by Jane on March 18, 2010 - 9:26 pm

    NyNy

    Hi and welcome to you, I understand you feel limited to what you can say, but how long have you been together? Are you exclusive? Can you describe a bit more because you donโ€™t say too much what is upsetting you?

    It is typical Taurus the CLAM UP thing. Its good you have read all these posts here to get an idea of how we all here to support each other, and you too.
    If you can explain more it would be easier to help.

    Hang in the NyNy, believe me it takes every bit of patience you have inside you, I am only now after nearly 11months starting to see some positive moves!! Lol these guys are so amazingly amazing!!!! Lol but drive you crazy!!!

  1490. #1490 by saggi girl on March 18, 2010 - 9:57 pm

    Jane,

    who knows if he is going to call or not. Hopefully i will be home by then as i am going out tonight with my girlfriend for dinner… Oh, Yummy dinner..

    I texted him this morning and let him know that i was not feeling well last night when i did not text him back.. Then he texted me back an hour later that he hopes i feel better..

    Jane, i am sure that you are on fire…HeeHeeHee.. just teasing you…LOL

  1491. #1491 by saggi girl on March 18, 2010 - 9:59 pm

    oh, Jane,

    something i just found online that i want to share with you:

    The more friendship you give – the more romance you’ll get.
    The more romance you give – the more friendship you’ll get.
    The more certain you are – the less certain they become.
    The less certain you are – the more certain they become.
    The slower you go – the better it takes.

    way to go!!!!

  1492. #1492 by NyNy on March 18, 2010 - 10:00 pm

    Hi Jane. Thank you so much for your prompt response. We have been seeing one another since May ’09. I made the 1st move. I immediately had a crush on him when I saw him over 5yrs. ago. At any rate, I found out he was married & I was floored. He left town with wife. Returned back to town after marriage didn’t work. I see that he is back in town & I’m determined to make a move. Long story short, I made 1st move back in March/April. We’ve been seeing one another for 1yr. in June. I’ve been intimate with him twice. We have so much in common…common interests. I hope and pray that we are exclusive. There is a woman in our church who have the “hots” for him. Heck, there are several women in our church who are crazy about him and want to date him but he ignores them. That makes me feel good. When we first started seeing one another, we were doing so regularly….very regularly. We were talking at least 3-4 times/week, spending every Sat.&Sun. together. I fell in love with him. I was celibate for 8-1/2yrs. & gave myself to him b/c I truly thought he cared for me….seriously. Then after a few months, he became incredibly distant. I’d call him, email him — NO RESPONSE. I was devastated. This went on from about mid-August through mid-September. Finally, he called & said he wanted to talk to me. Came over & told me that he didn’t think we could have a relationship. Guess he became freightened b/c he was getting too close & could feel I was too. That is when I told him I was in love with him & didn’t want to loose him. He said, “let’s just take it slow.” Well, shit, I didn’t realize he meant A TURTLE’S PACE. Good grief, I was about to come unglued. So much more. Bottom line….he’s like a faucet; hot & cold. Or, Dr. Jeckel/Mr. Hyde. It’s crazy. He tells me how much he misses me when he sees me. He really doesn’t know much about me other than my name & a few very basic things. It’s wired, girlie. So weird but, I’M DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH HIM. Of all the darn days, my attorneys are bugging the crap out of me!!! Plus I’m leaving the office in about 10mins. I won’t be in the office tomorrow. Taking tomorrow off to enjoy the day & going to Black Eyed Peas concert tomorrow night! Unbelieveable…everyone is bugging the crap out of me right now. Have a good weekend, ladies. I will chat with you all Monday. I’m going to get my BOOM, BOOM POW on!!! LOL
    Holla ๐Ÿ™‚

  1493. #1493 by saggi girl on March 18, 2010 - 10:01 pm

    NyNy,

    ” I printed over 300+pgs yesterday to take home & read b/c I was so freaked to learn that Iโ€™m not the only one in love with this strange creature”.

    you are so funny… welcome on board…we are all the fighters..i have been fighting over 2 years for now…LOL

  1494. #1494 by Jane on March 18, 2010 - 10:55 pm

    Saggi

    LOL LOL oh how funny! Yes I like that, thanks for sharing!
    โ€˜the less certain you are- the more certain they becomeโ€™ โ€˜the slower you go- the better it takesโ€™ LIKE THAT! So I will sit back and wait for him to become certain because there have been many times I have not been certain!!! You too eh saggi hee hee.

    Well he hasnโ€™t text me back!! I MUST learn to not expect it! My god you would think I had learnt that by now!! I think maybe his day has not gone so well or he needing โ€˜caveโ€™ time lol . I do respect that.

    You out to dinner too like me with a friend, how funny. Hey saggi, how is your guy when you go out with out him? Is he jealous? Does he get moody?
    When we where โ€˜togetherโ€™ last year he would not like it, maybe that is what is up tonight!! Goodness I do not know!!

    I think your guy knowing you not well will call you tonight saggi, he is missing you after all!!!

    Yes, still on fire!!!!!!!LOL LOLโ€ฆโ€ฆgod help him when he does get near me!!! HEE HEE

  1495. #1495 by saggi girl on March 19, 2010 - 2:26 am

    Jane,

    no, my guy was ok when i went out with friends but when there were some guys there, he will ask who they were…so, that is why i won’t tell him when i went out with a group of people including guys..

    i just got home from dinner, i got some left overs to bring to my work for lunch for tomorrow. hopefully he will call, if he does not, i will be on fire for sure. LOL

    hang in there, Jane…

  1496. #1496 by saggi girl on March 19, 2010 - 3:56 am

    Jane,

    my guy called a while ago before he went to bed, but we only talked for 15 minutes as he was tired.. but he asked if i was ok, then i said: yes, i was having my period.” then he was like” oh, that was what it was. why didn’t you tell me.. i thought you were sick… the way you responded that you were not feeling well, i thought you were sick..” then i was like” were you worried?” then he was like” yeah, i was, i don’t like that. you don’t have to go to the detail but at least tell me what the problem is… but not just i was not feeling well, which makes me think that you were sick, i don’t like it.” then i was like” sorry..” he was a little bit mad but was ok eventually.

    But Jane, he told me that he was not able to see me this weekend as the Jewish passover coming up, he needs to prepare for that since he was new to all of those, he needs to learn…then i said” i was a little disappointed…” then he said” i know, but i have to do what i need to do, hope you will understand. I miss you, i do, but it was just too much going ons and i need to learn..” then i said” i know you have a lot of going ons but you have to remember i am here too.” then he was like” i know, i miss you..i really do. baby, but i have to do what i need to as it was coming up and very important..maybe, you can use weekend to get the studying done..” then i was like” but i can not study 24 hours.” then he was a little bit losing patience like” stop it, you need to understand. we spent a lot of time together last weekend…”

    well, anyways, we were ok at the end.. he said that he was really tired and wanted to say good night. then we gave each other kiss good night, he wished me a good day tomorrow.

    ah, it seems that i won’t be able to see him this weekend.. ok..then i can focus on my study.. hehehehe.

  1497. #1497 by Jane on March 19, 2010 - 7:23 am

    Saggi girl

    Hi to you saggi, hey I am glad he called and how sweet his concern for you being unwell, bless. It is disappointing that you wont see him this week end, I suppose it good for you to get study done, he sounds like my guy when he says that to you and saggi I donโ€™t know about you but I do everything possible sometimes to avoid study!!! Lol Bad I am!! Itโ€™s just sometimes and especially the week end itโ€™s the last thing I want to do!!

    He sounds serious about the Jewish thing, I mean he really wants to learn all he can and real sweet he asked you to understand, he wants you on his side with it for sure.

    Interesting how he doesnโ€™t get jealous when you out but would question you if guys there, so you donโ€™t tell him!!
    I do think my guy would be like that too and therefore would rather not know!!

    He just text me good morning and apologised for not replying to text and said the situation in work meant that he had to stay really late and when he got home he really tired, so it seems he didnโ€™t give it a thought that I was out so I am glad about that!! I would not want him to do the jealousy thing!!!
    I do not know when I will see him as I think he working Saturday, so may be Sunday but saggi, remember we have now agreed that he is going to initiate us meeting up!!!! He said he wants to do it so that means I cant suggest it!!??!! Goodness I will probably wait forever and a day!! LOL

  1498. #1498 by saggi girl on March 19, 2010 - 8:51 pm

    Jane,

    i felt a little bit confused about the situation i was in with my bull. his converting to Judiasm still confused me.. it makes our life complicated, well, it might make my life complicated.

    as the more i checked online about people’s comment on Jediasm when it comes to be with a Non-jew, the more confused i am..

    i know he was not really considering anything about us in the future at this moment, but his converting to Judiasm makes it even harder for me to believe that he wants to be with me and will be with me in the future.. that is something i can not talk to him about.. we did talk before, but his thought on this now is that he just want to focus on this converting now, if something happened in the future, we will think it then. but i felt that it should go with another way around. or, maybe, he already knew that he was not going to be with me in the future, that is way he did not give too much thought on this..

    I do not know, it was just some thought running through my mind today.. it might be because of my period..

  1499. #1499 by Jane on March 19, 2010 - 11:01 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi to you, Saggi I do understand your feelings around your guy converting to Judaism, I do know that I too would be doubting his future plan with me, especially if I am researching this and finding out how thins work but as it isnโ€™t me it helps to see it differently and forget for a minute saggi, everything else and just think of โ€˜Taurusโ€™ there ways, meaning, stubbornness and commitment to a cause once focussed and for them reasons alone, Taurus have their mind on something and no way on this gods earth you could shift him!!
    So saggi my point is, this Judaism thing he visions at this time is nothing to do with โ€˜youโ€™ its all about โ€˜himโ€™ sound familiar!!?? This is โ€˜hisโ€™ vision and for him at this moment he does not have to consider you until further down the line (marriage ect) he wont see the point so he wont see it like we do that it an issue. Do you know what I men!?

    Saggi, it is so understandable after all that has been said by him recently that you take this as I โ€˜directionโ€™ to you, but it isnโ€™t, he for now sees this as just โ€˜hisโ€™ I really donโ€™t think he is thinking it the way you think, he hasnโ€™t got that far yet!

    If I where you saggi, hard I know but just โ€˜listenโ€™ show interest to him and support he is then more likely to want you part of it and visualise you with him in that future. I know itโ€™s a tricky Judaism for boyfriend/girlfriend situation, your bull will handle that when the need arises and by then you up there together, do you see!??

    I know this is just my view saggi and so much harder when you in middle of it.

  1500. #1500 by Jane on March 19, 2010 - 11:10 pm

    Saggi girl

    OOPS!!! Sorry โ€ฆโ€™do you know what I menโ€™ should say โ€˜do you know what I mean!?

  1501. #1501 by saggi girl on March 19, 2010 - 11:29 pm

    Jane,

    thanks for your thought and advice on this, it does help me to understand this situation…

    i guess i have to let him be, like you said, they are bull and nothing can shift them once they set their mind on somthing…Well, too bad, he set his mind on something which i saw as a threaten to me.. too bad, he did not set his mind on me, hehehe..LOL

    I just got home.. are you in states? it seems we have time difference..

  1502. #1502 by saggi girl on March 19, 2010 - 11:30 pm

    oh, how was your bull? are you seeing him this weekend? as i won’t…

  1503. #1503 by Jane on March 20, 2010 - 8:46 am

    Saggi girl

    Hi, hey donโ€™t be too down on this, your bull needs for now to be in his own little (selfish lol) world until he figures out his own personal direction. Stubborn as a mule for sure!!!
    Saggi I am not in States I am in UK, there is a big time difference, I have just got up and you my dear are probably going to bed!! LOL

    We have no arrangements made to see each other this week end (like you!!) he is working today and then off work for a week so I am expecting plans from him (I know I shouldnโ€™t expect!!!!)

    We had a situation yesterday that happened, he sent me a text and I only got the second part of it, well saggi it was a little joke and as I only got half of the joke it sounded like he was in mid text with someone else (woman) so I text him and said I didnโ€™t understand!!??!! I asked him to explain, he didnโ€™t reply, I asked again to explain, then he called me laughing saying โ€˜why donโ€™t you understand itโ€™!?
    Saggi, I was so off with him, I thought I was going to burst into tears as it really sounded strange. The text I got started like it was in the middle of a conversation so I was convinced it was to someone else!!!
    Any way I came off the phone explained to him by text that I couldnโ€™t talk to him correctly as I too upset but that I was glad he tried to explain. He then sent me the whole thing again, this time with the first part of textโ€ฆโ€ฆ.I UNDERSTOOD!!!!! It was funny then because I understood! Goodness, I text him too tell him and he text said he relieved I understood!!!

    Saggi, wow how easy it is to misinterpret things and get the wrong end of the stick!! I really did jump to conclusions!!!

    He ha problems with his phone yesterday afternoon, I text him last night to say I was thinking of him as he in work, I have not heard from him so I donโ€™t know if his phone still playing up!!
    Donโ€™t know when we will see each other, remember he wants me to leave it to him to initiate!!!! Oh boy!!!

    So saggi you have lots of study planned this week end as you not seeing your bull!!??!! LOL
    Do you just see each other week ends? Week days too? If it just week ends then you must wait until next week end to see him!??
    Give him time to figure out his Judaism thing saggi, his focus will be clearer then and he will be able to include you in the correct way. Look for the positive!!

  1504. #1504 by saggi girl on March 20, 2010 - 1:10 pm

    Jane,

    I am glad that you finally got the Joke, oh, boy, when i read it before it reached the conclusion, i was talking to myself” oh, no, no drama…”. LOL.

    yeah, things are easily to be interpretted to a negative way especially when we do not know the whole story. it was very nice of him to explain to you patiently, and you did well too as you got off the phone and texted him calmly that you were upset. It was a good idea, they did not like confrontation, but you expressed your feeling in a text.. So smart, Jane. I should do that too..

    “your bull needs for now to be in his own little (selfish lol) world until he figures out his own personal direction”, yeah, I agree, that is what it is now.. i better off to figure out my own personal direction too.LOL

    he texted me again Last night before he went to bed , i compared the text message with what he has been sending, 2 of them are exactly the same” good night with kisses baby. hope you had a good day, then with a smiley face.”, how boring it is!!!!! don’t you feel your bull was kind of boring sometimes.

    funny thing is that i found a comment on one of the site that a lady was listing what she has been doing when she was with her bull, the activities she listed was exactly the same, sometimes, it makes me wonder if we are dating the same guy,, she was saying that her bull calles twice or three times a week, when they see each other, she cooks, he eat, and then either sex or go to sleep after that.. he does not talk much unless it is about the food, he will say” are you ready, i am ready to eat.” then he does not say much about his feeling at all, except the fact that he says that she is in his heart… that lady was pretty much content, she is a cancer, she said that she has patience as they have only been seeing each other for 2 months.. sometimes, she will go around asking ” did you see yourself with me on holidays..christmas, new year eve..and so on.” it was so funny how our woman does things by knowing what she did…LOL what a turtle journey. and she also said if she can kiss her guy on new year eve, then everything will be ok… well, i was telling myself at the same time, NO, it is not the end of the journey, lady, i got all the holidays, i kissed him on new year eve, he also told me that i am in his heart, but he still tells me that he is unsure…Hehehehe.
    It was snowing again today, the weather was crazy here. i am glad that i do not have to go to work.
    yeah, we only see each other one day during the weekend, yeah, i have to wait for the next week, probably, i can not even see him next weekend as I checked the calendar, the passover holiday will be on 3/29/2010 in states, so probably he will be more busy when that day comes… i guess i will be disappointed again, but i better prepare myself in advance. i went online yesterday asking some questions about Judiasm, some people said that i better prepare for not being able to see him for a couple of weeks…LOL

    I like Europe, the things are very fashionable, i visited Germany, Belgium, Holland, France like 10 years ago when i was still at my home country, i like the pace of everything was going…it was so human. not like here, it was crazy. we are like a machine. work, work, work to pay the bill. LOL
    hopefully some day, me and Jess can visit you, or we found a third place to meet…

    Jane, hope you can meet your guy, at least one of us has to meet with our guy. well, i am off the list, it has to be you…LOL.. i am giving you pressure..heeheehee.

  1505. #1505 by Jane on March 20, 2010 - 2:43 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hey, well thank you saggi for the โ€˜pressureโ€™!!! LOL LOL full on pressure as I havnt heard from him since yesterday afternoon, must still have problems with phone, either that or he having โ€˜caveโ€™ time!! Lol I actually think he working today, oh who knows because he will get in touch I am sure when he good and ready and not before!!! Lol

    Saggi I was laughing so hard reading about the woman listing her activities with her guy!!! How funny, hey you ask is my guy boring at times, well saggi at the moment I am the wrong person to comment on that as I am โ€˜loved upโ€™ hee hee!! My guys text messages melt my heart and always have done but mine is nearly a year together and yours is more than double that so I might say same as you in another year and a half!!! Lol.When the novelty wears off!! What is funny though is are activities when together pretty much match that lady you read about!! LOL LOL You know how routine orientated the bull men are!! I actually like that about him as I am learning if I want to change things or spice it up a little, I mention it, he hears me (oh he does nothing about it!!! Lol) so I hint again maybe once or twice then he knows what I want and if I am lucky he will act on it or make me wait which is the usual way!! You know he has to be โ€˜bossโ€™ โ€˜running thingsโ€™ LOL (or so he thinks!)

    You say heavy snow by you, oh no! Love looking at the snow from a window but hate walking in it as I am so afraid of falling over and looking like an idiot!! Hee hee, how embarrassing!!
    Saggi as the Passover holiday is next week end could you not see each other during the week day evenings? It would be awful if you had to go all that time not seeing each other, well I am sure you will survive saggi but you know what I mean!!
    Does your bull live nearby to you?

    I have never visited the States, I would love to one day and I would just so love for us to meet, how amazing that would really be, so much fun I just know it; we must keep that as a good idea in the future. Rememberโ€ฆ โ€˜Wifey Clubโ€™!!! LOL

    I am feeling fed up, should be doing study but keep avoiding it!!! Oh well, never mind that will have to wait!!!

  1506. #1506 by Punkygirl on March 20, 2010 - 3:31 pm

    So I seem to keep reading that Taurus men “clam up” dissappear for periods of time, etc. etc. – and I have seen that side of my Taurus interest. But tell me – what does it mean if they call you, very upset and depressed and actually open up to you about their life, and break down crying on the phone with you? If he is able to be that open with me, and that unafraid of showing his emotions to me, does that mean he sees me as more of a friend than a love interest? But dont Taurus men generally want to be friends first with the girls they are truely interested in anyway? He keeps saying that I am too good for him (think its just a cop-out?) Advice appriciated

  1507. #1507 by HopelesslyinlovewithaT on March 20, 2010 - 4:27 pm

    I have perused this board for about two months now and love it but need some advice. Sorry in advance for the long story. I am a Capricorn and met a Taurus man online the end of October of ’09. We hit it off instantly. He was in the midst of a divorce and had only been married briefly so he was still dealing with that and confided quite a bit in me regarding the matter. He also has lost passion for his career in law. He came to see me 9 days later for a weekend as we live two states away from each other. It was pure heaven. We went to eat, went to a club and listened to our favorite music and danced and we were intimate the first night which I don’t regret. He just kept saying how good of a time he was having and how he doesn’t get to do that because he has his own firm which keeps him alarmingly busy. I am very expressive so I told him flat out that I like him and asked what next. He said he wanted to give it time since he was going through a divorce. After he left, we’d text almost every day and talk maybe 2-3 times a week but usually he would give me the okay to call but not just call himself. In December, I went to see him and stayed at his house for a weekend. I cooked for him which he loved and we just hung around the house relaxing, listening to music, talking. I just kind of blended into his space. There were even periods that we were separated and I just did my thing and he did his. He even had to work a couple of hours on an affidavit and he asked me to proofread it for him which I did so it was cool to just be a part of his day to day albeit briefly. When I was leaving, he expressed that he was sad and I didn’t believe him because this was someone who hadn’t really expressed emotion. He was always affectionate behind closed doors but would never really say what he felt in regards to me. When I returned home, he still expressed his sadness and then hours later I expressed that I was depressed to which he told me he was too but snapped out of it quick and for me to do the same. I was so hurt but continued on. I noticed that he began to distance himself from me at that point and we went into the holiday season and he was going to travel with his adult son. I mentioned the distance I felt and he assured me we were still on the same platform. We texted periodically during the next two weeks but did not speak on the phone. Finally after the holidays passed, he was back to normal and seemed hot on me, even calling on his own. Then once again, he pulled back. The end of January, I asked him to attend a musical event with me in February. I gave him a month to think about it because I know how crazy his schedule is. He agreed to go with me and asked me to look into hotels/airfare which I did. I sent him the info and he told me to book the itinerary and he’d pay me back which I thought was odd because one, he has two assistants and two, we were never official so I felt like I was being tested. I told him I was not in a position to book it, he said he would do it but I knew he would cancel. Lo and behold, a few hours later, he sends me a very formal e-mail stating that another opportunity arose and he had to go out of town that very weekend. I just replied that I was disappointed but I get it and for him to enjoy his trip. After a couple of days of being mute, I sent him an e-mail just explaining my situation with the whole ticket thing and basically took us to platonic friends status because I thought that was what he was going to do anyway. He replied how at this point in his life, he cannot be with someone who cannot get a ticket if he is too busy to do so and how I need to focus on my job situation (my job is commission based and the recession has hit it kind of hard) and not on him and his idiosyncracies. He agreed to be friends which I was shocked by because he made it clear that once he dates someone and they are over, he does not do the friend thing with them. After another two days, I received a text from him reiterating his desire to really be friends. We spoke that evening and it was very surface but I let him know that I would still be going to the event. Three days later, he was heavy on my heart and I texted him telling him I wanted to share something and that I would next time we chatted because it was late where he lives. He said I could call him then and I did and told him that I had been mute because I was trying to adjust my feelings for him and that that day was the first day that I hadn’t cried. He asked what I was crying about and I told him, him. He said he didn’t understand why I’d be crying over him and that he is a lowlife and an a–hole. He asked me if I thought he was trying to adjust his feelings and if I thought he had feelings and I said I think he has feelings. He then said he would try to attend the musical event with me and I ignored the comment and then he said it again at the end of our conversation and I said that would be nice. Well he mentioned it twice after that but ended up not coming after all and that was the end of February. Fast forward to almost two weeks ago. I had to work in his area for nine days and let him know I’d be in town. I supplied my schedule to him. He sent me a text as I was still driving asking if I was in town yet. I arrived on a Monday morning and worked that afternoon into the evening. He texted me that evening and the next day asked when I’d be free. That Tuesday evening I spoke to him and it seemed like he was trying to see me the next day but I told him I wanted to see him that night so he told me to come over. I did of course. He looked happy to see me but did not give me a hug or anything. He never gives me a hug hello, just goodbye. It was already late when I got there so we went straight to bed. I must say I was a little giddy as I had not seen him in three months. He just kept staring at me as he always does and I said I wish I could get into your head and he said I already was. He said I am interesting which he has said on a number of occasions and up until recently, he used to say I was the smartest woman he had ever dealt with. We made love of course and then went to sleep as I had to leave super duper early to do a job for him and his business. My co-worker and I set up the job at the Taurus’ office and it was interesting because no one knew the nature of my relationship with him. He came in and I played very cool. As my co-worker and I were wrapping up, he asked if we’d had breakfast, I told him no and he asked if we’d have time to have breakfast, I told him I guess. As he sat there, he was looking dejected and began complaining about how much he hates what he does professionally and how he hopes he can just hand the business over to his new partners and leave in a few months. I encouraged him to open up this other business that he wants once he hands the business to his partners. He took me and my co-worker who is a male to breakfast. He sat across from me and just stared at me the entire time. When I got up to use the bathroom, he asked my co-worker how old he is, etc.? My co-worker is young enough to be my son and I made sure that I mentioned that he has a fiancee. I am 43 and this Taurus is a few years older than me. Later I texted him if I’d be able to see him that weekend and he said he was drowning already but maybe Saturday evening. Thursday morning, he texted asking me what my day looked like, I returned the text and I didn’t get a response. Then, I called that evening and left a voicemail message. He didn’t call me back. By Friday afternoon, I still hadn’t heard anything and I sent him a scathing text telling him if he didn’t want to be bothered with me to just tell me to piss off. I also said that even busy people make time for things that matter to them. He replied back a few hours later that he had just finished teaching a class and that he told me he would call me. I think he sent me a text and I didn’t receive it. Three hours after that text, he sent another saying that the previous one was not endearing and that hopefully we would speak later and that he hoped I was having a good day. I didn’t reply to either by the advice of my co-worker. I told my co-worker that he will not chase me like that so the next morning on Saturday, I sent him a text just saying he could call me when he feels like it. Well he snapped on me saying that what is there to talk about if his being busy is insulting to me and how he told me before I came there that he had some tough weeks coming up and I don’t understand the nature of his work and that I cannot put him on a schedule, etc. I called him and he answered saying that he told me he would call me when he got a chance. I told him I never received that message and that I was not trying to put him on a schedule or to control him but that I just wanted to spend some time with him. I told him I wasn’t trying to spend a lifetime with him but even 15 minutes here or there would have suffice. He said that he was not going to go back and forth with me about it and that he has deadlines to meet which I know is true and his whole office is overwhelmed. I saw it firsthand. I went into the whole I care more about him than he does about me and he said he had work to do and I had to work so he would try to text or call me later. Well that never happened. I ended up sending him a text of apology later that night and that I would never ever disturb him again. He quickly accepted my apology within a two minute period and just said that he is under intense pressure. I replied that I know he is. He and I had no contact until this past Tuesday morning, the day I was leaving. He sent me a text wishing me a safe trip back and no speeding because I got a ticket going out. I replied thanks and I won’t. He sent my co-worker a similar text too about 5 minutes later. I sent him another text about a business idea that I had related to the job my co-worker and I did for him. He replied it is a very good idea and then that was it. When I got home on Wednesday morning, I texted him that I was back home and he replied immediately that he was glad we made it back safely. That evening I texted him that when things calm in his world, I’d like to ask some questions about my business idea. He has yet to reply. Is he completely done with me now? I have been so tempted to text him but don’t know what to say. I want him to know that I love him which I never shared before and that I am still thinking about him. Truly it saddens me that he is so unhappy with his life but he is making moves to change it so that is good. I have always tried to be encouraging in regards to what he wants to do next professionally. A lot of women would balk at his next potential endeavor because of what his profession is now but I just want him to be happy. Should I just leave him be altogether? I am just clueless here. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks and sorry again for the long story.

  1508. #1508 by saggi girl on March 20, 2010 - 4:45 pm

    Jane,

    How funny you said you were loved up..i can see that..LOL

    My bull does not live nearby to me. I lives in the north part of the city and he lives in the south side. If he comes to see me, it will take him around 50 minutes by car…but it was not the case, the thing is that he won’t do that during the week, we never did that except at the beginning when he has a flexible schedule doing his own business, but right now, he was working for a company requiring a lot of hours as he was working on a commission based in a financial industry. he normally gets off work at 9pm, and when he gets home, it was normally close to 10pm.. well, i don’t know if that is for everyday, but there are a few times he texted after 10pm, saying that he was still at office… hehehe, actually, I did not believe after i received those messages thinking that he did not want to call. so i called him after that, when he answered, it was actually true that he was still outside and walking to training station and sounds exhausted..Hehehe.. drama drama..
    well, I have to take what it is now…let him be if he chose to focus on his religion…then i can focus on study(hard to focus on).. i failed my certification test last time, but it was pretty close. The passing score is 500, but guess what, i got 497… Jesus, only 3 points away.. my coworker told me that instituation was stupid, should round my score up to 500..LOL

    hi, Jane, which career field you are in? actually, I was in HR field.
    still snowing and i have already done with my lunch.. i made chicken with mushroom and spicy ribs in plum sauce…Yummy.. too bad, my rice almost run out.. so i have to save it up for later moment when i was really really hungry..

  1509. #1509 by Jane on March 20, 2010 - 5:25 pm

    Punkygirl

    Hi to you, Yes Taurus men are famous for clamming up and most defiantly needing their own space! That is a fact!!

    Yes it is true also that Taurus like to get to know you through and through before he makes up his mind about you. What is your history with him? How long you dating each other ect?

    It takes a lot for Taurus to โ€˜open upโ€™ and trust you with his feelings so if he is doing that then itโ€™s a good sign. Something to remember though is Taurus are usually up front, honest, straight forward and him saying to you that โ€˜you too good for himโ€™ well I would suggest this guy is either trying to tell you something? Wants a reaction/attention of some sort? I am not sure if what he is saying is a cop out but I would deffinatly listen to what he is saying because he is not saying it to you for nothing!! It maybe that he not ready for a relationship and he is trying to tell you that. I know how that feels and its hard when you want more. Taurus take โ€˜foreverโ€™ and I really mean โ€˜foreverโ€™ lol to move forward, can you handle that because it will stretch your patience beyond imagination!!!

    Oh one thing I will say though on the โ€˜friendsโ€™ thing that has a positive effect on me and my bull is, I am consistent with him, stable in my approach, not pushy, honest and caring and there for him also I have and still am โ€˜learning himโ€™ to understand his ways, you have to if you truly serious about him and we have truly grown with that and it is bringing him closer to me, just takes time!!!

  1510. #1510 by Jane on March 20, 2010 - 5:31 pm

    Punkygirl

    Oops!! โ€˜Defiantlyโ€™ needing own space should say..โ€™Deffinatleyโ€™!

  1511. #1511 by saggi girl on March 20, 2010 - 5:36 pm

    Punkeygirl,

    It is true that taurus guy takes a lot of time to make a huge decision, relationship is one of them. along the way, they might act hot and cold, they might confuse you, they might super slow moving, or there are moments that you think your relationship is a dead alley..in gerneral, no matter what, you need patience to deal with all of these in a calm manner, as taurus guy do not like drama even though they are the one actually making it…

    I am sure that he is closer to you by sharing his personal life even crying over the phone, one thing i am sure is that he trust you with his vulnerability..my bull never did that with me, he will talk but never cried.. ( well, he said that he did one time when i told him that i looked down on him a long time ago but i did not see)..

    Friendship first, then you will see what you can take from there.. but it needs a geat deal of patience..

  1512. #1512 by Jane on March 20, 2010 - 5:56 pm

    Saggigirl

    Oh how awful 497!!!!!! I would have cried and cried!! LOTS OF DRAMA!!!!!!
    That is so bad I agree with co-worker they should have rounded it off to 500!! That would have been the decent thing to do!

    Well saggi I can understand then how your guy could not travel during the week to see you 50mins away, difficult also with finishing work so late!!

    I still havnโ€™t heard from my bull today!!!??!! I am not worried as I do think he is having โ€˜bull timeโ€™ stress with new work place too.

    Your lunch sounds โ€˜yummyโ€™ indeed!! Wow saggi you could have invited me over, that would have been the decent thing to do!! LOL LOL!!! If only!!!
    Your bull must be impressed with your cooking skills!!???

    You did not believe him and he still outside exhausted too!!!!! Bless!!! Lol I bet it is hard working on commission too as if you donโ€™t โ€˜get itโ€™ you donโ€™t get paid!! So hard.
    I work in the medical field, I enjoy my work, well most of the time. How about you saggi?
    You still have snow coming down so my goodness it will be even harder for your bull to get to you, he will have to โ€˜digโ€™ his way to you!! LOL

  1513. #1513 by Jane on March 20, 2010 - 7:11 pm

    HopelessleyinlovewithaT

    Wow that name is a mouthful!! Lol
    Hi to you and welcome to the crazy world of Taurus!!!

    Reading your post, I donโ€™t know if its your writing style may have something to do with it but it shouts out to me very loud โ€˜FASTโ€™ โ€˜FASTโ€™ โ€˜FASTโ€™!!!!!

    One event after another for you there with your Taurus and although it sounds very much like you have both enjoyed every minute of it, Taurus will and has I feel felt the need to slow things down, all I imagine to much too soon. Do you know what I mean!? Taurus have to control the pace and do things when they ready, not you, him! Selfish I know but its how they are.

    You said you have read posts for 2 months so I guess you well aware of all our dramas!!!
    You sound quite anxious and donโ€™t get me wrong I have been there and no doubt be there again at some point but all I can say to you is, SLOW!!!
    Let him set the pace, you just for now at least go along with that, be feminine, ladylike, kind and caring and let him come to you. NO DRAMA Itโ€™s the only way. I learnt the hard way, it just takes so long for these guys to trust you, he will test you constantly even when you donโ€™t realise he doing it! You observe him. My guy is getting closer after all this time, he still very causious but I am โ€˜exactly the sameโ€™ not changed that gives him stability which these guys crave. He is slowly moving towards me and believing I truly love him. He has to get there on his own, its how they are.
    Good luck, your patience will wear thin, be sure of that!!

  1514. #1514 by saggi girl on March 20, 2010 - 7:23 pm

    Jane,

    i am in HR field…this is my 2nd year with my current company. A lot of things need to be learned especially english is my 2nd language..I always make my co-worker laugh when i made mistake on verbalizing something in a wrong way… but they all love me as they thought i was too funny. sometimes, when i fake myself to be sick for not going to work, they will call me as it was too quiet in the office..they will say” please, sweetie, come to work tomorrow.. please.”LOL

    yeah, i know, i can never work on a commission based job especially in this economy… so that is why my bull is cheap. hehehe…
    is your bull cheap?? did he bring anything over when he came to visit you?

    felt like in a mood of badmouthing about them…LOL

  1515. #1515 by Jane on March 20, 2010 - 7:27 pm

    Mia

    Hey Mia you have gone all quite on us!!! I do hope you are doing okโ€ฆ.x

  1516. #1516 by HopelesslyinlovewithaT on March 20, 2010 - 7:29 pm

    Thanks much Jane. Should I just not contact him and wait for him to contact me first or is it okay to send a text every now and then to just say hi? I don’t want him to think I am completely disinterested.

  1517. #1517 by Jane on March 20, 2010 - 7:44 pm

    Saggigirl

    That is so sweet how your co workers miss you when you not there!! You so like me โ€˜big mouth!! Hee hee (couldnโ€™t resist saying that!) true though, I do not stop talking!!! Lol how funny, me and you would have to gag each other to get a turn to speak!! Hee hee!!

    YES my bull is so cheap!! OOPS!! (Oh goodness I will be in the biggest trouble if he sees this!!!!)
    He has never brought me a gift, he bought me a xmas gift but never on visiting me! I do, I buy him chocolate which he loves, I cook for him which he loves!! The list is endless!! Lol

    So saggi where does that leave us in the theory that Taurus show signs of โ€˜interestโ€™ by buying gifts for the object of their affection!! WE ARE DOOMED!!!!!! LOL LOL

    He picked a flower in a park for me once last year that I have โ€˜pressedโ€™ in a book (yes loved up!!) Does that count!! LOL LOL!!!!!

    Saggi we can bad mouth them together seeing as they leaving us alone this week end!! HEE HEE!!!!

  1518. #1518 by Jane on March 20, 2010 - 8:01 pm

    InlovewithT,

    Hi is it ok to call you that!? Just quicker to write!

    Well it is really of course your decision but as you still waiting for a reply from him, you would be best (and more likely to get a text) if you sit back and wait for him. Keeping texting him will only put pressure on him, as hard as it is a good thing to remember is โ€˜if he interested in you he will be back for sureโ€™ you running after him will make him run other way, he already sounds vulnerable, he knows how you feel and therefore will not doubt your interest, believe me. The question you must ask yourself is, โ€˜are you prepared to waitโ€™!!??!!

  1519. #1519 by HopelesslyinlovewithaT on March 20, 2010 - 8:33 pm

    Thanks again Jane. I typically give him space, don’t over text him and usually he resurfaces after a few days but this was the first time we had a disagreement so I don’t know. I am usually very patient with him and tend to not pressure him but I was literally staying at a hotel 15 minutes away from his house and being so close got the best of me. I am usually so composed when dealing with guys but for some reason he stirs up something in me that I simply cannot explain. Very weird. I will not contact him and hopefully he will get in touch at some point and we will resume our friendship at least.

    Thanks again.

  1520. #1520 by saggi girl on March 20, 2010 - 8:36 pm

    Jane,

    it was really funny how you say that we badmouth about them as they left us alone during this weekend. yep, i felt like badmouthing them.LOL

    it is really true that where does that leave us in the theory that Taurus show signs of โ€˜interestโ€™ by buying gifts for the object of their affection! I think we ARE doomed. Jess got gifts as far as i can remember, like perfum, and sexy wear..but mine was so cheap. He gave me a gift card in the amount of $40 dollars on my birthday, can you believe it?? on my birthday?? but he said that he prepared to give me another gift on christmas and also he will pay for my birthday dinner. but, still cheap. that is why i cried in front of him during my birthday…then he was in shock, i guess he did not realize that i would feel that bad about his gift.. he did not talk to me for a few days..heheheh.. then he bought me sweater and pants from “banana republic” for my christmas, but when he handed that gift to me, his face almost dropped to the floor… I think i spoiled him too much when it comes to money spending on him, last christmas after the birthday incident, i thought i would buy him a razor from Philips, but then he complained that my gift “sucks” compared to how i fussed over his gift card on my birthday.. then i returned the razor and we went to the mall together and i bought him a coat from Raulf Lauren( i might spell wrong about this name..LOL), he was pretty happy and kept saying “thank you, baby.'” then i was wondering, who is the baby here????
    i don’t know, Jane. if based on the theory that taurus will spend a lot of money on the girl they like, then where it will leave us???

  1521. #1521 by Jane on March 20, 2010 - 9:29 pm

    Saggi girl

    Oh well we are doomed for sure!! Lol

    One thing I forgot to mention that he has bought me is โ€˜coffeeโ€™ at โ€˜mcdonaldsโ€™ seriously!!! Unless my mind has shrunk (which is likely!!) I have never had a gift from him and do you know what saggi, until now it has not bothered me!!! It does now though!!! OMG!!!!

    He came back from holiday only last week โ€˜no giftโ€™ (I didnโ€™t think about it either!)
    But saggi in all of this I am looking how I behave!!!……..i even buy him a chocolate bar from shop just because I know he loves it and it his favourite!!!

    I need my head testing!!! Lol
    I do like doing that and I suppose even a small token from him would be nice even to say thanks for dinner!! Oh boy!!

    I donโ€™t know what to think now!!??!!

    Oh I have not heard from him at all since the text (joke drama) yesterday!
    I forgot to tell you this saggi, after that text incident, he was having problems with his phone because about an hour later I received 15 texts one after the other from his phone that where for some reason sending just random (3 words long and no sense) I did text him to tell him, he didnโ€™t reply. !5 minutes later I had 35!!! I kept thinking how mad he will be when he realises it! Anyway I sent another text to him and then decided to call him (even though he in work!) to alert him to it. It was like his phone was already switched on to me because I could here him talking to his staff and he couldnโ€™t hear me!! I hung up, text him again to tell him what had happened and guess what!!??? I havenโ€™t heard from him since!!?????

    I have been just thinking he needing his space which I know he needs and I usually have no doubt when that is as I can tell, but I am now wondering is it something to do with that!!?? May be he thinks it was my fault, I donโ€™t know how though!!

    Back to the gift thing!! Hee hee, I think we fuss too much and show our affection buying gifts and random things to make him smile, what about making us smile eh!? Saggi, I am easily pleased, I donโ€™t know about you but I would be so happy with the tiniest of things as I would think โ€˜ah he thought of meโ€™. That is all it would take, yes thatโ€™s how mushy I am!! It doesnโ€™t take much!!

  1522. #1522 by saggi girl on March 20, 2010 - 10:34 pm

    Jane,

    i was laughing so hard about your post even with tears.. well, happy tears as it was too funny. yeah, we did fuss too much about the gift thing from them. well, it is THEIR fault since they left us alone. HeeHeeHee..

    It does sound like your bull’s phone having problem.
    well, what else you can do?? he will realize it sooner or later..

    I haven’t heard from my guy yet and it was 5pm in the afternoon on saturday, he was probably reading those Judiasm thing and got dizzy!! LOL

    you are probably ready to bed, right? i don’t know how much the time difference are between UK and USA.. well, we are not that alone, at least, we are together..

  1523. #1523 by Jane on March 21, 2010 - 9:13 am

    Saggi girl

    Oh my goodness your post made me cry too, I wish I lived around the corner from you, we could have a โ€˜verbal bull fight togetherโ€™ lol yes there fault they left us alone!!! Lol
    Well judging by your last post it would seem our time difference is 5.5 hours so I am writing this at 9am Sunday (just got up!!) and it 3.30am Sunday where you are ??? (you having sweet dreams about your bull!!??? Hee hee
    Saggi you must have snow up to your window by now!!! OMG!!!!!

    You are so funny โ€ฆhe probably reading those Judaism thing and got dizzyโ€™ !!lol
    Maybe thatโ€™s how you could show interest to him, get dizzy with him!! LOL I mean ask him to look at books with him. You may understand better than him!! Well I hope he called you before sleep last night!??
    I have not heard from my bull, just sent him a text to say โ€˜hiโ€™ I donโ€™t even know if his phone is working!! Goodness!

    We are not alone..at least we are together saggi you are right!!

    I will talk with you in a while then when you get up!! Hee hee I am just going to get breakfast!!

  1524. #1524 by Jane on March 21, 2010 - 12:23 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi saggi, well my bull replied to text 2hours after I sent it!! He is definatly having a โ€˜moody momentโ€™ or โ€˜cave timeโ€™ I can tell with him when something on his mind. I do wish he would just say something to indicate he needs โ€˜bull timeโ€™ that way I would just back completely away and give him that instead of playing guessing game!!! I have noticed I always feel deflated when he does this and the reason is that I get no warning from him, he doesnโ€™t say anything. Itโ€™s strange because I โ€˜feelโ€™ the distance, itโ€™s really odd but I really do. I know how much better I would feel if he would just tell me first. I realise that may not always be possible, but it would help. Do you think I should mention it to him in some way?!
    I always try to keep myself busy when he does โ€˜himselfโ€™ and that is good. Saggi do you understand what I mean by โ€˜feelโ€™ his distance and that if he just told me beforehand how much easier it would be!!??

    Anyway, problem is I didnโ€™t get all of the text he sent this morning, some was missing so I text him and told him that and commented on part I did get, he didnโ€™t reply!! Which I expected!! There must be something wrong with his phone; he hasnโ€™t mentioned that or the events from Friday with texts!! Which I also expected!! lol

    He is off work now for a week (as far as I know) I am back working part of the week which he knows so, as he is wanting to be the one initiating I am hoping he asks me to meet with him this week!! He said last week that he has made a note of my days off so once again I will have to wait and see!!

    Did you hear from your guy saggi!? Text/phone!!??

  1525. #1525 by saggi girl on March 21, 2010 - 2:49 pm

    Jane,

    good morning. I just woke up and it is 9:25am on sunday, the snow has aleady stopped, who knows when. as i stayed at home all day yesterday.

    i think your guy’s phone got problem, he better fix it. It is true that they are always having moody moment and it was really fraustrated. it happened a lot to me in the past and was still happening until nowdays. what else we can do? nothing, that is even making us fraustrating more.. but i don’t think they will understand. they are so themselves.

    I texted him yesterday evening around 7pm, like” thinking about you, stay warm.” then he texted me back in 10 minutes like” thanks baby. you too. i will talk to you tomorrow and maybe be able to see you, then he put a smiley face.” who knows, he might be in a moody moment today, then he will call that he is not going to see me.. as he said” maybe.” i don’t count on it at all right now..until he confirmed..

    I think you should mention it to him when you see each other next time especially when he is in a good mood. but who knows, they are so stubborn and was wondering it will make him change totally. i remembered i talked to my bull about those feeling one time, he said to me that he will try(did you see they use TRY), but he also told me that i shouldn’t worry too much about him, just let him be and i do my thing, he will be ok eventually. He said that everybody has those moments.
    Ja

  1526. #1526 by Jess on March 21, 2010 - 3:56 pm

    Hi ladies,

    I smile so much you girls are so cute with the girl talk lol! I have not active much lately partly because of my busy life make me feel so tired, and partly because my guy is leaving. I’ll meet him again on Thursday and send him to airport… I feel already how I’m going to miss him like crazy.

    Then I’ll have more time to work on a new blog for us if we consider moving because this blog is more than 300 post and getting slower so a new blog will be faster and more private if any of us wanted to put pictures or delete posts.

    Let me know how you think.

  1527. #1527 by saggi girl on March 21, 2010 - 4:15 pm

    Jess,

    oh, no, he is leaving Thursday. couldn’t he not go? yeah, me and jane are bored yesterday and started to badmouth about out bull. it is so much fun..LOL

    I have no problem moving to a new blog. yeah, we do need a private place to stay going forward since me and jane can not help badmouthing about our bull..

  1528. #1528 by Jane on March 21, 2010 - 7:20 pm

    Saggi, Jess

    Hello to you both, Jess nice to see you back

    I have some truly horrible newsโ€ฆ me and my bull are not going to be together any more, although he doesnโ€™t know it yet!!1

    I feel like my heart has been ripped out and stamped on!!

    My friend was with me today and she has joined a dating site so she went on line and showed me some guys she been chatting to and guess who was there on this dating site!!????!!! Yes, youโ€™ve got it.. MY BULL!!! Oh my god I thought I was going to be sick, his profile all mushy saying he looking for โ€˜datingโ€™ OMG I cant believe it.

    My friend contacted him as he doesnโ€™t know who she is, just chit chat and he responded with all this romantic jargon about her not having a picture is that coz she too beautiful!!! He said he not been on it long, not had a date as yet!! WTF!!!!! OMG this is so painful, I donโ€™t know what I should do, I know his response to me is โ€˜we friendsโ€™ I just know that is what he will say but me and him DO NOT ACT LIKE FRIENDS!!!!!!! We may not have had status but we are like a couple the way we are with each other. WHY WOULD HE DO THIS TO ME!!?? I feel so stupid, I have believed all he has said, he led me to believe he wants me, to please be patient with him that is what he has always said. All things like month ago not holding my hand ect is now making sense!!!!

    Saggi, the text thing Friday, me thinking it to another woman!!! OMG!!!
    I am so devastated.
    I know he will not see anything wrong here and believe me, I love him so bad and even I am looking for a reason why this could be justified, how can he think this ok??

    Him calling me by first name so much, he probably did not want to get his messages mixed up!!

    HELP!!!! I feel so lost!!!!! I cant understand, has he been playing me all this time? I donโ€™t believe that, I have not imagined how amazing things have got between us last few months, I have felt it I really have. He has not respected me but I do feel he will say โ€˜I never said we exclusiveโ€™
    He is going to be right isnโ€™t he?????

  1529. #1529 by Jess on March 21, 2010 - 7:56 pm

    Jane,

    First of all, please calm down! fast!

    You have to be calm first and look at this from a guy’s perspective and yes they would think of this as absolutely nothing wrong.

    Not sure I have told you I met my guy from some dating website? I have a profile on one site while he has his on 2 as far as I know. Up until now he still has his profile there even not being active anymore he doesn’t change his status from ‘single and looking’ to be something else. I know that he has not been active because there is a date of last active on the profile but i doubt if there is anyone sending him message would he log on to check it so i sent him a message to try this and yes he did. Not sure I have posted this before but there was a time during one of our trips when we were coming back we had a big argument on the plane… it was such a drama where i was crying and yelling at him on the plane and I’m sure at least a few seat around us can hear very well whats going on… that must be very embarrassing for him. Anyway after that trip I noticed that the next day he change his profile details in one of the 2 sites (he didn’t know I knew about the other one) and the new information he added is about telling girls to send him message again because he has not been active for long time so has not checked his inbox and any messages sent to him will be deleted.

    I was hurt so i talked to one of my best friends who is a respectable guy about this. He told me he sees nothing wrong with it and since I was not his girlfriend at that time (but like you guys know we have all going on exactly as we are couples just we never talked about it) My friend explained me his logic and tell me not to confront him about it if i want to keep observing his dating profile. I decided not to confront my guy about it and from that day till now he still keep his 2 profiles but never active again. (but like i said before who knows he will never active again)

    Jane, i just want to share my story to tell you not to be panic or feel too hurt. You are not the only one facing this situation but you have to look at it and handle it base on what is really going on in real life. Whoever got a profile on dating website or associate life so much online, this is not surprising. I’m not trying to justify his behavior but after all he is a guy and your ‘relationship’ with him is yet confirmed but working up on the way. According to what your friend told you said to you….. “He said he not been on it long, not had a date as yet!! ” I interpret it as he means he only joined the website not so long so has not dated anyone from the website yet.

    I can understand how this is a devastating news for you, I had this feeling before I went thru it and now I feel fine and have no problem with him still keeping both profile (I did not delete my profile though but decided to put it on hide just few weeks ago) I didnt not tell him and will not ask him to take care of his profile.

    I hope my story make you feel better Jane, at least calm you down a bit. Please try not to get too emotional Jane, if you have a male friend may be you want to talk to him and get some insight from a guy’s perspective.

    Hugs and Cheer up.

  1530. #1530 by Jess on March 21, 2010 - 8:13 pm

    Oh Jane I wanted to add something. You said this ‘Him calling me by first name so much, he probably did not want to get his messages mixed up!!’ I was the opposite because he almost never called me by my name! He only call me sweet name like princess, cutie, etc. So I told him one time that he is very smart to only call me by those sweet name because he must has other girls he keep contact (flirt) with so if he ever get his text mixed up or sent the wrong text to the wrong girl he could not get in trouble! or perhaps he even sent the same text to all the girls! He was laughing and said I’m really crazy and think too much… I was laughing too but talking to myself in my mind that no i wasn’t crazy and definitely not thinking too much but I’m a woman and I know this is normal for any women to think this way!

  1531. #1531 by Jane on March 21, 2010 - 9:43 pm

    Jess

    Thank you for you response to me but the thing that devastates me so much is all the stuff he saying and that he even thinking about it especially as we have been getting so close over past few months just makes this worse for me. My friend just called me to tell me he โ€˜on lineโ€™ he is filling his time with chatting and probably arranging dates with other people!! I donโ€™t think any explanation from him can alter how I feel.

    Jess, I realise how these guys have to be sure but how I see it is he keeping his options open and telling me he not ready!!
    It is me who he does not want or he would not feel the need to date right!!??

    I have written a very long email to him (not sent yet) I am not sure if discussing this face to face would be better, at the moment I feel so very devastated, I am so gutted. Why would he feel the need to go on there now if we getting so close!? I donโ€™t understand. We both met each other on same site!! He has added info to his profile and said a lot of what he said to me, I feel like our whole relationship has been a lie/fake!!! I love him so much, how could I ever trust him!!??

    Thank you jess, I appreciate all you have said, there is a tiny part of me that sees how he would think he is doing nothing wrong, but he has been stringing me along and not been honest with me, I wish it could turn around!

  1532. #1532 by Mia on March 21, 2010 - 10:37 pm

    Hey Jane, Jess, Saggi,

    Please let me know if u do move to a new blog even though i may not be with a taurus… ? ๐Ÿ˜‰

    I have not read too many posts since my break, but hope all is well with everyone here.

    Jane, I do see ur post about him on a dating site. As devastating as that may seem to u, please do calm down and NOT LET IT get to you. Scream, call him every name in the book while throwing darts at the target you replaced with him picture, tee hee ๐Ÿ˜‰ but after getting that out, LET IT GO and DO NOT ALLOW him to control your precious head and emotions young lady!

    okay about ur letter, but i am not sure i would send today, or just now… i am not sure i would send at all. i don’t think it would change his opinion about ur relationship so sorry… and i’m almost thinking it would damage any future with him. i so know u feel dissillusioned, he is just not emotionally ready nor is mine! by allowing him to lead whatever life he is leading is showing him you are responsible for your behavior and he is responsible for his. i do not think he is feeling that he is necessarily doing wrong by you. and i don’t think he feels he is disrespecting you as i truly do not feel mine is either, for this is more about them than you. they can’t begin to put themselves in your place cuz they are not programmed that way. BUT you DO have a responsibility to protect your heart by respecting yourself as i finally am now with myself! removing yourself from him and when he starts to get with you telling him you are not sure about him …

    hey mine did the same thing and is now doing it in front of my face at the same time trying to contact me too, he is confused at my behavior too cuz i am not letting it get to me… i’m letting him go totally and become friends with gal pal, i like her as well as all my friends and refuse to let this man change my personality.

    Yeah, I am stronger all right! you betcha i am!

    yeah, my bull ain’t so much my bull anymore as he is now very blatent about calling the gal pal while she is in front of me but the cool thing here is IT IS NOT GETTING TO ME. ha! I have released him in my head. We may not be completely over, but the cool thing about this which has been extremely hard for me to do is to LET GO.

    I am now free to be myself and disengage from his drama, and engage myself in the singles group. I am friends with gal pal and with the other gal. I am showing up for bible study yup, while he sits on the other side of room. did i sit next to him? he** no. does a pretty girl go sit next to him? yes. does he ham it up in front of her? of course… was it nauseating, yes. did i act nonchalent and cool about it. OF COURSE ๐Ÿ™‚

    the funny thing is now HE IS DOING SAME THING TO gal pal… he is kind of dissing her in front of me, hee hee!!! he did it today! and last night they both went in his truck to get something and i was trying to get us all to go out to a sports center thingee.. well, he saw me and this guy go and i told the guy to follow me to my house as i needed to change before we left, my bull heard me and it was great! so last night my bull was trying to call me and text me. hmmmmm

    and today, he saw me eating lunch with the group. gal pal sat across from him and some other older lady at his table, tee hee…. while i sat at a table with two very handsome guys and a gal… this other very cute new guy shared the seat with me and my bull saw the whole thing…

    ladies i am veeeeery particular about men… and the guy that sat next to me was very handsome, and especially the guy that sat across from me. he told me he has a ski boat and said he wants to take me skiing this summer! it is very refreshing…

    my bull got up from the table where his gal pal was and then sat back behind me.. and i’m wondering what gal pal thought… hmmmmmmm… smile….

    the other gal told me on the phone, that she and gal pal were talking!!!!!! and she told me that my bull (she doesn’t know we are connected of course…) she says that he will act like he likes a gal then he will bring in another gal just to show u he is not really interested, like dissing you.. and i have already known this about him for the longest time… but as i said, those gals are well… ah… i don’t know how to explain it… not his type? kind of well.. plain and well let me put it to you this way… he would not be associated with them if he were in the company of those two very good looking guys… you know…

    if anything i am almost thinking he is very jealous now because he has not seen male attention towards me like today before, heck I haven’t! lol it is very very nice… and i also went for coffee after that and the guy that was sharing my seat was there and another very nice guy was there… and these guys are younger than me, very sweet ๐Ÿ™‚ (not that much but it is pretty nice:) the guy that was sharing his seat just kept telling me sooooo much about himself, sharing all this stuff showing me pictures. don’t get me wrong, the attention was so very very nice, but as much as i can’t help it i still have feelings for the guy (bull) yup i have it bad still but trying to totally get over him.

    I don’t know what will happen as we had so many summer plans. My intention now is to make a guy wait and wait and wait for intimacy from now on…

    This bull, my bull, has pushed me so far to the limit with his practically closing me completely off now that i am basically hardly interested in him anymore… I’m forcing myself to pretend he is NOTHING more than a platonic friend, no an acquaintance and at this point I REALLY DO NOT care to know why he was with me.

    What happens happens. I can only make myself healthier, get up out of my funk and live happily without him ๐Ÿ™‚ and he sees how I was laughing and totally enjoying myself with those guys today. Remember, this was NOT TO MAKE HIM jealous, because there is NO us anymore. he has made every attempt to shift his attention from me to gal pal now. it is like he is pulling us both like a puppet or something and she is reveling in it and loving it and I am going on as if I don’t have a care in the world.

    Jane, so sorry, but chin up sweet gal like you told me. hey, are you kidding me!??? i saw my bull’s dating thingee up there months after he was wild for me… yeah I freaked, but I DID NOT TELL HIM. I let it go. I just thought he forgot. and then I never saw it up there again after about 6 months ago.

    Remember guys want to work hard for you, become less certain about him like Saggi says below… and be happy!!! in your own right and busy and the fun gorgeous woman you already are!!!!!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Lastly, Saggi, I love this below, thank you sooooo much for finding it…

    The more friendship you give โ€“ the more romance youโ€™ll get.
    The more romance you give โ€“ the more friendship youโ€™ll get.
    The more certain you are โ€“ the less certain they become.
    The less certain you are โ€“ the more certain they become.
    The slower you go โ€“ the better it takes.

    mia xoxoxox

  1533. #1533 by saggi girl on March 21, 2010 - 10:41 pm

    Jane,

    i am sorry that i haven’t been able to check the posting as my bull just left and i did not want him to finding out this site..

    Jane, i agree with Jess, first of all, you need to calm down and at the same time, i know how you feel about it and i would have felt angry too if i was acting on the moment. But Jane, you have to think in a different way aside from your relationship together as he was not cheating based on the defined term you too have for each other..you know, what i mean?? as i remembered, when my bull and i did not define the term, i asked him one time if we can date other people, he told me that technically we can, but we need to tell each other. but do you think he would tell me if he dated other people, do you think i would tell him if i saw other people, as i won’t unless i want us to end.

    I also remembered one time after 3 weeks of no communication due to a fight, when we were back in contact, he told me that there are so many pretty girls but when you talked to them, you found out that they do not have the things you are looking for.. well, i thought to myself” wow, he might have talked to some pretty girls during the break or even before the break, otherwise, how could he find out that fact.” Jane, for me, i have a profile on a dating site that i just set it up after negative talk i had with my bull, i was checking everyday.. actually, i was cheating technically, but, i would think this way that nothing is serious unless he put a ring on your finger.. as thing might happen during the course.. i just want to keep my option open in case as i am not a risk taker.

    i asked my bull if he was seeing anyone else, he told me that he did not, but who knows? if i search on internet, his profile might come out..Jane, like i said, unless he put a ring on your finger, there is nothing secure..

    as for your saying that you are the one he does not want, or he wouldn’t be on the dating site.. it is ok if you understand this way, as i was in the same situation.. he is my boyfriend, he was still not sure if he wants me after over 2 years.. who knows if he was dating someone else or not.

    But, i would agree if you want to discuss with him about it..and see he is going to say, then you make a decision based on how he justify this.

  1534. #1534 by saggi girl on March 21, 2010 - 11:00 pm

    mia,

    welcome back with fully freshed energy, we missed you. i am so glad that you are doing well.. keep it up with the good work, you are going great. He does not deserve a woman like you, not at all.. too old to play the game like that.. let him enjoy his game all alone..

  1535. #1535 by saggi girl on March 22, 2010 - 1:44 pm

    Jane,

    i was concerned about you this morning. are you ok..

  1536. #1536 by NyNy on March 22, 2010 - 3:13 pm

    Good morning, everyone….

    Oh Jane, my heart goes out to you gurl. I thought I was literally going to throw up when I read that your Bull was on a dating site. I am freightened in that I’ve heard my Bull has FaceBook but he has never shared with me that he has it.

    He is currently out of town and won’t return til 30th or so. Have not heard from him in over a week. I’m so tired of this. I don’t think he give a damn about me at all. I’ve done so much for him….take him to fine restaurants, purchased little things for him, gave him a wonderful Christmas gift. He has done nothing for me. Oh I take that back, he took me to freakin’ Taco Bell on the 4th of July…..WTF? After all this time, I don’t think I have a chance.

    Received a reply from Jess and so glad to know that she is an Aires going thru the same drama as I. I’m so depressed, girls, I really am. I’m bitchy, I cry frequently….I fell in love with this guy. I gave myself to him b/c I thought he really cared for me and wanted a solid relationship.

    This is the email I sent him on February 24:
    For several weeks, I’ve wanted to contact you. I keep praying that, one day, you will accommodate me and listen to my “heart-to-heart” that I’ve wanted to share with you. I’m finding it a bit difficult (even as I pray about it) to get through each day because there are things that I really want you to know so I can move on with my life.
    I’ve grown paranoid in trying to contact you because I don’t know how you will react. Please understand that I am not some obsessed, crazed woman who is “fixated” on you or “obsessed” because that is not the case.
    As crazy as this sounds, I do still care for you…..yep, I do; your quirkiness included. I wasn’t blessed or gifted with completely shutting down or shutting off my feelings for someone I care about. That said, I really wish you would find time from your busy schedule to meet me in a public, yet somewhat discrete place so I may convey my heart-to-heart with you. It’s very important to me and I hope and pray you will be accommodating to my request.
    I hope to hear from you and I’m equally hopeful that you will respond.
    Thank you, N

    Do you think I’ve heard a word acknowledging my request? Nope. The only time I’ve heard from him was when I sent him a txt message a couple of weeks ago asking him how he was doing and he responded to me.

    Long story short, he wanted to come over and I said yes. He told me how much he missed me. We kissed and hugged and stroked one another and kissed, and kissed, and kissed, and hugged. Sat on cough and talked generalized bull. Showed him the items I purchased at mall
    (sexy panties) and he said he couldn’t wait to see me in them. Asked him if he was hungry. We agreed to pizza. Guessed who paid for the damn pizza? Yep, it was me…..again. Ate pizza, kissed & hugged and excited one another more. I gave him a sexual favor (the one all men love), we hugged and kissed some more and he went home.

    Sent him sweet txt msg. on Mon., Tues., and Wed. we were going to be at the same venue. Told him I may see him Wed. @ that venue. Mon. & Tues. & Wed. I did receive a brief reply to my txt msgs. But on Wed. when I todl him we may see one another, I’ll just be damned if he didn’t ditch me. I peaked through a window of one of the doors and there he was. He went into the main auditorium thru another door so he wouldn’t have to run into me. The venue where we frequent every week holds various programs there. We know several people within this venue and, of course, no one knows we are seeing one another.

    At any rate, I was so pissed that he ditched me. Pissed and hurt. And to make matters worse, he never contacted me prior to his departure for his 10-day trip out of town.

    Girl, I feel used. I don’t know what to do. I’m bitchy all the time. I don’t sleep properly, don’t eat properly. I literally don’t know what to do.

    Plus, with me trying to muddle my way through this b.s. @ the office, I’m constantly looking over my shoulder b/c of all the damn nosy folks in the office. I’m really bitchy today.

  1537. #1537 by NyNy on March 22, 2010 - 3:24 pm

    Oh also, forgot to tell you all…..the BEP concert was fabulous! I truly need that release & the fun and fellowship I had with a co-worker and her friends was great. Woke up Saturday morning with still the same nagging problem…….MY BULL.

  1538. #1538 by saggi girl on March 22, 2010 - 4:27 pm

    NyNy,

    i am so sorry to hear what had happened.. but i think the bulls are honest at least when it comes to relationship in regard to what they want, i would think when they say that they are not ready for a relationship, then they are not ready; when they say that they are not ready to be exclusive, then they are not.. as woman, we tend to assume something from our end but not really listening to what had happened. then we felt hurt and being used.. but are we really listening what the man was telling us– they are not ready for a relationship. no, we did not. we are too focus on what we want and we wanted it right away. that has been my problem too.

    I was talking to my bull the other day in regard to man’s behavior like, the man was not really contacting for a few weeks in any form of the communication,. My bull told me that it does not mean they are not interested, they might be still interested, but not being serious. He told me that if a guy was serious with you, he will contact you in any form of the communication no matter what. Woman should be able to identify that..
    i am still learning but i think we need to calm down first and see if there is a potential in this situation leading to wherever you wished to be going to but not beating yourself up …as with those bulls, i am sure that it will require a lot of patience, patience..

  1539. #1539 by NyNy on March 22, 2010 - 4:27 pm

    Saggi Girl…..how are you doing today, gurl?

    I’ve only been on this site a couple of times and I’m really concerned about Jane. I can only imagine the hurt. I’m afraid that I will endure the same type of pain much sooner than later.

  1540. #1540 by NyNy on March 22, 2010 - 4:34 pm

    Saggi ~ it irritates me to no end to think that he cannot be man enough to tell me “stright up” that he is not ready for a relationship. Why continue to tell me, “I miss you,” and continue to accept my giving heart both emotionally and materialistically if you have no itention of having a relationship. We are both damn near senior citizens!!! Shit he is 51 & I will be 55 next month!!!!! WTF, Saggi???! I’m almost in tears, I AM SO ANGRY. I gave myself to this guy, ok. I was celibate for 8-1/2 yrs. & I gave into him. Why did I do so??? B/C his ass led me to believe that we “were going to have something.” I don’t sleep with me or give them blow jobs just for the damn hell of it. I am beyond pissed of…..beyond hurt……I feel used. I’m disgusted.

  1541. #1541 by Jess on March 22, 2010 - 4:39 pm

    Jane,

    We all hope you are ok. At least before deciding to do anything please try to calm down and talk to us here. I know you want to confront him to get this out of chest, you do it but you first need to get all your sense together so you can handle this with calm and reason.

    Let us know how its going with you.

    Mia,

    You go girl! I’m so glad you are still around even better you are back with your high spirit! Keep it up and going!

  1542. #1542 by Jess on March 22, 2010 - 5:10 pm

    NyNy,

    Wow you really sound like Aries in every ways! LOL (that is a compliment by the way!)

    You need to STOP PAYING for him food, gift or whatever. It’s important for Taurus guys or any guys but specially Taurus to feel manly in a relationship with his woman. If he is not financially secured to pay for you, then go for something cheaper something easy (taco bell would do…)

    Stop giving him sex! a kiss or a hug is ok but not sex! period!

    If you hold back all the goodies and he’s still around then you definitely mean something.

    I have been dating my Taurus guy for a bit over a year now but it took him a whole year before he actually told me he ‘loves’ me. All the time he only said ‘i miss you’ and that is not very often. He will pay for every meal (i did pay for small things like ice cream or drinks sometimes). Even after sex, we arranged to meet just for dinner and no sex. I need to know that the guy still want to see me regardless of anything.

    NyNy, no matter how much you are into him or crazy about him and even though you already give in your goodies to him, never mind it. You need to pull back all the Aries pride in you and ignore him. You need to be treated like a princess not being the one who treat him like a princess!

    Taurus guy tend to abuse those who give in to them. I know this because my guy like to make use of his friends who admire and follow his opinion. He knew people admire him for a reason and that his objective opinion always trust worthy so he convince (manipulate) those friends to do things his way. I don’t know how serious your guy is taking you but you need to figure this out. It may be hurt but you can’t go on like this for long for sure. The long message you sent him we all know he’s not going to reply… Taurus hate confronting. He looks at it as drama… do not waste time seeking truth from his mouth just go on your way and see how he react/reciprocate.

    Cheer up!

  1543. #1543 by saggi girl on March 22, 2010 - 5:19 pm

    NyNy,

    I think it has nothing to do with the age even though he is 55 now. but if you were hurt by his behavior that bad, why you have to wait for him to tell you that he does not want a relationship when you have already knew the answer..

    He might mislead you but if you refused to be misled, nobody can do that to you at all.. the thing is that you love him and want him so badly, and will put up with whatever he gave to you, then you thought that he will give you what you needed as you swallowed all of the shits, but relationship was not going to work that way.. if he is on the stage of giving his heart completely to you, he will, and even without your swallowing the shit on your own. Relationship take times, it is not like snapping your finger at the moment of feeling for someone, then you will get it. Lust, i am sure it can go that way, but not love.

    Love should based on respect and trust. that is why you need to observe his behavior if he was respectful to you and if you can trust him.. if not, and if you have doubt, you are not even ready for this relationship…My problem in the past is that i want what i want, and i want it now.. i never take times to think if he is good enough for me.. or if he can give me what i want, then i was being emotional about it.. making drama out of it.. never in the stage that i can make myself outside the picture to look at him.. i think in order to be a relationship, we need to be friend first, support his decison made for his personal life. My bull was converting to another religion, i used to make drama out of it as i saw it as a threat to my relationship with him, i took it very light right now, when he discussed with me yesterday, he just told me that he thinks he was doing a right thing for himself… as for me, i love him, then i have to be unselfish about it to support him..

    one thing i learned is that there is nothing you can force especially when it comes to relationship.. i just enjoy myself now.. this way, i will be at my best, he will be happy to be around me..

    I did not make a fuss over last weekend when he said that he can not see me.. i just told him that i will miss him, no whining, no drama. then he texted me on saturday, said that he might be able to see me, i still was not really counting on it until he called on sunday that he can squeez some time to see me for a few hours and asked if i am ok with it. then we saw each other and had fun.. then he left for doing that he has to do.. later that night, he texted me again saying ” nice to see you today baby.” everyone wants people who carrys positive energy.. i think two people in a relationship were not supposed to drain each other but to supplement each other.. I used to be like that and right now i am doing my best to change.. things might not work out at the end, but i believe my postive energy will attact someone else.. he is not the only guy in the world..

    sorry for rambling, but it just want to express how i felt after i went through all of this with my bull. hope it will help.

  1544. #1544 by saggi girl on March 22, 2010 - 5:28 pm

    Jess,

    “Taurus guy tend to abuse those who give in to them”, i totally agree with you.LOL

    as my bull was still testing me sometimes.

  1545. #1545 by Jane on March 22, 2010 - 5:30 pm

    Saggi Jess

    Thank you my lovely friends for your concern to me. I appreciate it very much.

    It is over between us, my heart feels like it has been jumped on and I think I am in shock!
    This is my update, I did send email last night, I realised that I could not continue foe day or so until I saw him pretending I was ok, when I clearly upset. Also I thought email would make sure I said everything. Any way, I do not regret email although now wish I could see him face to face.
    My email basically told our story and how devastated I am feeling that he telling me he not ready but on a dating site and that I feel he keeping his options open until someone better comes along!! It was very long, calm, ladylike, sweet and to the point, no drama!

    Anyway I have just got home from work, Been holding tears in all day and got home and just broke down in floods of tears, I am so devastated!!

    He replied to my emailโ€ฆ..
    Basically, he apologised for hurting me and said I especially do not deserve that from him and that he wanted to explain, he said he realises he has broken my trust and he didnโ€™t want that. He said to please believe him that he has only 1 or 2 female friends on site and nothing more, he said I at this point do not want anything more and I know you want more than I can give you at this time, he also explained that his profile says a bit more than it should!! (it did, it saying lovely romantic things!) I wanted to be sick!! He said he must change that OMG!!!
    What I noticed he did in email is explain very objectively that he basically innocent in this in terms of he wants nothing from any other woman, he also implied that he wants my friendship!! How can I do that now!? I love him too much! That would be so many steps back!!
    He said he is goung to step back, respect my feelings and for me to contact him if I wish!! Jess saggi, truth is he does not want to lose my friendship, thatโ€™s all. I donโ€™t think he ever wanted anything with me, he kept me on string, I do believe though with every inch of my heart that we where getting so close and if I hadnโ€™t found this out, we would have made it eventually, I feel so betrayed and he knows it. I liked his response, he was clever to not give me any of his feelings!!

    I am so glad I have you ladies and I want to still stay here, Oh my god I am crying so bad!!! I will be back hour or so. Thank you xxx

  1546. #1546 by NyNy on March 22, 2010 - 5:51 pm

    I’ve learned so much from you all in such a short period of time. Had no idea Taurus abuses people who give with an open heart. That too is hurtful….learn something new every day. I really feel I was misled. Maybe I’m so stupid, & so in love with him, I could not see the forest for the trees. He sent mixed messages for months. Maybe that was his way of telling me he was not interested. I didn’t give into him sexually right away but, I did give in. I really, really thought he cared for me. I never thought in my wildest dreams that at 55yrs of age, I would still be so freakin’ gullible. It will be 2 wks. Wednesday since I’ve heard anything from him. It’s ok; I’m through. No more Mr. Bull. I can’t take it any longer. Apparently, I was incredibly blind, all along staying hopeful that he would love me and care for me as much as I love and care for him.

    I have to say, I am incredibly devastated. Makes it more difficult dealing with this at the office. I just want to go home, curl up in my bed and cry myself to sleep.

  1547. #1547 by Jess on March 22, 2010 - 6:08 pm

    Jane,

    I was surprised also when my best male friend told me how he looks at it as innocent about the profile I found of my guy.

    I tell you one thing, I believe wholeheartedly when a bull told you he still want friendship that is bullshit. I can say this because it was exactly what my guy said to me when I wanted to break apart. At that time actually during his birthday if you looked up my post last year, I told him I suspected he might be with someone and I think we are not match so i don’t want to keep seeing him knowing i would fall more into him. He said he understand me and he doesn’t have any plan about us now he just wanted that we enjoy our time together without thinking of anything (he didn’t even mention anything at all about relationship) He asked me if we can still be friends, I said yes but not friends with benefit. I thought he we agreed and he accepted that but Jane, he doesn’t change a bit his way, he still being around and acted like nothing happened…. even showing improvement with everyday contact!

    I know you get devastating and extremely hurt about his dating profile and believe me the last thing I want is to bring you down but Jane I don’t want to say too much my opinion about it because I look at it as no serious crime (may be a bit guilt is found) because you are not exclusively dating nor agreed to be committed in a relationship. Yes if he is taking you seriously he should only focus it with you not going around having a profile like that, but hey he is Taurus and they always explore every possibilities for the best choice and always keep reserve as back up! Thats the truth I found about my guy. But he doesn’t cheat on me, he is being selfish as same as any other guys (except that you caught him on this one…)

    I’m sorry Jane if my opinion on this may sound cold or make you feel worse but I wanted to point out some thing from a guy’s perspective. The decision is on you of course but I just told you nature of men, and I’m sure it applies to most of the men out there just different style…

    May be I’m just leaning too much on men’s side? somebody please tell me! I just think men are selfish by nature and their logic is not as compassionate and deeply sensitive as us women.

  1548. #1548 by saggi girl on March 22, 2010 - 6:19 pm

    Jane,

    thanks God that i finally heard from you.. don’t cry, Jane.

    it was not new to me at all with your incident and how he responded to your email saying that he wants your friendship and he can not give you more than you wanted at this point.. My bull did the same thing before when i broke up with him after 3 months, he kept calling me saying that he will respect my decision breaking up, and he will put his feeling on check and at that moment, he just wanted to be friend. he will give me a few days to think it over, he will give me the space i wanted and but really wanted to be friend with me.. then i called him and told him that i can not take him as friend as i have feeling for him.. then he asked if he can call me sometime, then i refused it.. then he said that he will respect my decision.

    so he did not call me at all for the first week, then i missed him like crazy.. and thought it might not be bad to be like a friend.. then i called him after a week of silience, then he sounds very happy to hear from me, then i kept the conversation light.. and told him that i will be on a date.,then we were joking on the phone again.

    then i made sure that i never intiate the phone call again, but he did during the break and he called me during the valentines day wishing me happy holiday.. i can not remember what i did but i kept it light and make myself calm down.. treating him like a friend… then we are back little by little, but i still confused myself during the friendship thing– it is hard to keep it that way.. we were just back together little by little but without defining the term.

    Jane, at this moment, it is hard for me to say to drop it or take it.. but you have to be in a calm stage when your head is clear to decide what you want.. can you take this friendship thing as it is? as for me, friendship is just a nonsense, it is their way to keep you in their life.. because they like you. but they are just not ready to give you what you wanted..

    so, Jane, calm down. i will catch up with you later.. as i need to go have my lunch.. cheer up.. jane. we are here.

  1549. #1549 by Jess on March 22, 2010 - 6:29 pm

    saggi girl,

    I feel that you got the same tone with me about this issue, and that you dont look at it as a very serious crime….

    I mean I and saggi perhaps gone thru some sort of this kind of episode before but now we realized it didn’t mean our men are not taking us serious…

    Are you agree with me saggi?

    So Jane, please try to calm down a bit.

  1550. #1550 by saggi girl on March 22, 2010 - 6:32 pm

    Jess,

    I am with you… i just saw your posting in regard to the friendship thing. it was a bull shit.. see, we are having the same thought..

  1551. #1551 by Jane on March 22, 2010 - 8:06 pm

    Saggi, jess

    I feel so close to you both and I canโ€™t stop crying, thank you for being here for me, I mean that.

    I agree that Taurus bullshit about friendship thing and really like to keep you in background for when they ready, but that is just it, I am now not sure how long he would keep me waiting, he has told me since xmas, โ€˜please be patient with meโ€™ โ€˜my feelings growing for you all the timeโ€™ I must admit I do truly believe him but I asked him a few weeks back, remember in my post when I said how he couldnโ€™t hold my hand ect, he asked me to be patient and I said to him by text โ€˜yes I will be patient but I will need to feel I am the only one while I do thatโ€™ he didnโ€™t comment and I mentioned that in my email that he had every opportunity then to tell me โ€˜I am not only oneโ€™ OR โ€˜ I am only oneโ€™ he didnโ€™t!!

    Saggi, it is interesting what you say that similar to me, last year (july) I broke up with him saying I could not take the bull shit behaviour, his blowing hot and cold because I was falling for him, we had no contact for 2weeks and it was me who contacted him, I was missing him and like your guy saggi, he was so pleased to hear from me and so we started up again then in August, same again, (drama!) he then asked โ€˜we be friendsโ€™ (suppose he couldnโ€™t handle the drama!) we been โ€˜friendsโ€™ since!! Getting so close, on his terms, his way and I swear to god because I am not dreaming this since xmas we have really connected, got so close.

    He telling me โ€˜I am his rockโ€™,โ€™he could never find anyone who understand him like I doโ€™ (if only he new I had you ladies for that!!) he would say all that to me and tell me how much he appreciates all I am to him. So why on gods earth does he need attention from other women!!??!! I do not get it!
    Jess, I realise why he would feel he is doing nothing wrong as he not committed to me yet but (even he said to me,(โ€™I have betrayed your trustโ€™) so he knows what he has done is wrong, he said he not looking for anyone else and it just 1 or 2 female friendship and thatโ€™s all, but WHY!!?? He should not be seeking attention from woman on a dating site when he got me,that is what I find hard to accept especially as he telling me โ€˜be patientโ€™ โ€˜feelings growingโ€™ so if that true then why would he want to date others!!?? He is meant to be working on โ€˜usโ€™ that is what I am being patient for and thought that what he doing!!

    Because I love him I donโ€™t see how I could be โ€˜friendsโ€™ with him now as it would be different to what we have had, it would be like 10 steps backwards and I would always be thinking when he not with me, who is he with!!??
    I would not have a right to question him on that as I would be agreeing to be โ€˜friendsโ€™!!! Do you see what I mean!?

    Jess, Saggi, I am hoping that he realises what he has lost and does something about it, remember Jess how you say and I agree that if you and aTaurus break up or not commit, he has to realise first that he loves you before he will!! I suppose time will tell I guess. I know his feelings growing for me he said that but I donโ€™t think it love, so I guess I wont hear from him.
    That is the only way I could take him back is if he changes โ€˜statusโ€™ I would believe in him then, I feel totally devastated like he has used me for ego.
    Oh this is awful too, today my friend on dating site, called me as I text her to ask and she said he had been on line most of the morning (he off work this week) and remember the we messaged him yesterday (he doesnโ€™t know my friend) he doesnโ€™t know that. He responded with a really mushy/soppy reply (I was sick to my stomach!) anyway she hasnโ€™t replied and then today he sent her another message saying โ€˜hi good afternoon how are youโ€™? WTF!!!!!!
    He can not be too upset at hurting me can he!!??

    I feel he will miss me as time goes on (I hope) I really do feel we had something special. He will miss my support and love. I thought he was one for me, I mean that. I felt more than I have ever felt in my life before. Maybe I have been too stupid to see the real thing, I donโ€™t know. I know I will miss him deeply, I am struggling now! He has basically said he leaving it open for me to contact him and said I am a โ€˜beautiful friendโ€™ OMG can you believe he said that. Please give me you advice to get through this, I wish I could wake up and it all a nightmare and not true!!!!!

    I am sorry post so long, I wish I lived nearby! I want to stay in touch here, I would miss you too much, I need you!
    I know there are posts to catch up on too but please forgive me, my head is like a mess, my eyes are puffed up, I look hideous!! I will catch up soon!

    Thank you so much, I hope you ok. Love Jane xx

  1552. #1552 by Jane on March 22, 2010 - 8:41 pm

    NyNy

    Thank you for your comments, I will catch up with you soon Hope you are ok x

  1553. #1553 by NyNy on March 22, 2010 - 8:51 pm

    Gosh, Jane, I barely know you and I’m almost in tears. I hate the b.s. emotional roller coster the bulls dish out. I’ve been emotional all day. Jess has been a big help…..hell, everyone has been a big help. The bull that I devoted all of my love and interest toward will never receive this type of affection, care and concern from me ever again. My heart is literally bleeding. I’m so pissed off that all of us have encountered some type of bullshit drama with these guys. We all seem to be loving and caring women.

    Head like a mess? Puffy eyes? Oh yes, girlfriend, I can relate…..I can definitely relate. I’ve been this way off and on for months.

  1554. #1554 by Jane on March 22, 2010 - 9:27 pm

    Mia

    I hope you are ok, catch you soon x

  1555. #1555 by Jane on March 22, 2010 - 9:51 pm

    Saggi, jess

    My mind is going over and over things!!! I canโ€™t stop thinking about it all!!

    I was thinking about what you said Jess about giving too much. I know in all the time with him, what we spent together I cooked most of the time, he never took me anywhere except for last year when we first 2months together, since xmas even though we been getting so close, we have spent every time at my house and I have cooked for him so I guess he has not had to work for me as I have always initiated, planned and fussed over him. It was only recently that he said he would do the initiating from now on!
    Maybe his respect for me was not what I thought.
    I wish deep in my heart that I could turn this around, I wish I knew he is missing me, could he forget me that quick?!!?

    I called my friend earlier and she said he was not on line but she said she has now put her picture up so I know now that he will make a comment to her about it as she didnโ€™t have picture there yesterday when we messaged him! She said she will act however I want her too and part of me was thinking for her to let him know she my friend so he doesnโ€™t message her, I cant bare it but at the same time want to know about it!! How mad!!
    How crazy is it also that I feel I am betraying him with these thoughts!!! OMG!!! It is he who has betrayed me that is how I feel deep down, although Saggi, Jess I do also understand why (on a small level) he thinks being on site is ok. If he being honest saying it just friendship/chat then it would not feel as bad but his profile does not suggest friendship, it clearly states โ€˜datingโ€™. He did say he is changing it, I think he just said that for my benefit!!

    This is so painful!!!!!
    I keep thinking of ways to be his โ€˜friendโ€™ and us both date other people (tell him that although I know I couldnโ€™t) could it work!? It doesnโ€™t sound right!!??

  1556. #1556 by saggi girl on March 22, 2010 - 10:25 pm

    Jane,

    I feel your pain, i do. but i think right now what you need to do is to stop thinking of the solution especially when you are in a emotional stage.. see how you want to be when you actually calm down.. i know it is easily said than done, i remembered when my guy told me his thought, i was like you, i felt like my world was collapsed.. totally. Remembered how you comforted me and how you lead me.. but i was not be able to follow until i really calm down and thought about myself.
    as for asking for your friend to test him, i am not sure it was a good idea, as you are setting yourself up for nothing. As i said, you are just dating, which means that you are in a open relationship, even though we all felt like that we are not, but actually we are even though he is my boyfriend, but he wanted to walk out on me or see someone else, he can, i can not blame him for that. he has the right to chose he loves especially you are not in a commited relationship. But the thing i would not be happy is that he should let you know, but as i said, if i wanted to let me bull know that i am seeing someone else, or i am on a dating site, i know our relationship will be over even though he said that he was unsure of me in the future. but the thing is that what if he found out on his own someday, he is going to feel the same way as you do now.. feel betrayed.. and do not trust me anymore. but from my side, i did not think i betrayed and did anything wrong.

    Jane, you can be hurt and painful. But I don’t think he strings you along, and you are saying that why he does not justify that he only wanted to date you, if he justify that, it means that he gave you the commitment and you are in a exclusive relationship, which he has not been ready for that. one thing i need to let you know is that, when guys are saying that he was not ready to be exclusive, it means that he wanted to see if there are better one out there, i am sure that my guy did the same when he told me that he was not ready for me to be his girlfriend based on what he commented how pretty girls have nothing he was looking for.. sometimes, we woman can not be too smart, can not ask things to be white or black, as when a relationship was leading to some where, before it reached the destination, some of the areas are in grey..

    Do not think too bad, it might not be a bad thing to you, it might be bad for this moment. but look at the bright side of it, you might talk it through, he might realize what he missed, or you might shorten the waiting period, or you might find someone else.. but in order for all of that happening, you need to calm down first.. do not be panic..it help nothing but to destroy what you already had. I am sure he has feeling for you.. but things need to develop on it own..

  1557. #1557 by saggi girl on March 22, 2010 - 10:30 pm

    Jane,

    i will be home in an hour.. i will talk to you then.. you will be good. do not get panic..

  1558. #1558 by Jane on March 23, 2010 - 6:29 am

    Saggi

    Thank you so much for your support, I am not sure I know what you mean!?
    Yes he should have let me know and the reasob I think he didnโ€™t is just like him, he knew I wouldnโ€™t be happy about it because he wouldnโ€™t be happy about me dating anyone else either!!
    That is why he said โ€˜I know I have betrayed your trustโ€™ he new he did!!

    I just feel so lost and it does feel hopeless, he has been clever by sayingโ€ฆโ€™I will back away and for you to contact me if you wishโ€™!!! He is making no attempt to make it better or to make it work, why!? Because he must not have feelings deep enough for me saggi, that is it other wise he would not let me walk away, right!!??

    I donโ€™t feel I can contact him, I feel so hurt, I do not want to set him up on dating site, that is not my personality, but now that he has messaged her back, she hasnโ€™t replied I do think he is going to try again because he asked her โ€˜why no pictureโ€™? and because there is a guy on there interested in her, she has put picture and my guy may now think it for him as it was he who made comment!!! OMG what a mess!!
    It is true though isnโ€™t it saggi that a guy must realise what he feels for you before he commits (well Taurus anyway) So me not being there as before may be a good thing, I donโ€™t know!? I know he is not ready, he has serious commitment issues and wanted me there for when he ready as I know I ticked all his boxes!! He told me that, he ticked mine too!!

    โ€œ2nights little sleep!! I am just off to work, only a few hours so I will catch up with you saggi when I am back, I wish we had quicker way of contact!!

    Thank you x

  1559. #1559 by saggi girl on March 23, 2010 - 12:25 pm

    Jane,

    i understand what you are saying, actually i talked to one of my male co-workers yesterday, i basicaly told him your situation. He just told me that a girl can not blame the guy for seeing someone else hwen, but it depends on how the commucation was made during the whole course. If you are not exclusive and agree to see other people, then it will be alright, but if you guys did not communicate that, then it might be a misunderstanding from both side. and also he said: for guy, if we are not in a exclusive relationship, we tend to date many girls to compare who is the best to stay exclusive with, that is called dating causually before leading to dating exclusively.

    he told me that you should sit back and not contact him right now to let him know what is missing. Guys tend to contact a girl back if he did not have anything available, i guess that is part of the reason that he did not tell you what he has been doing on the dating site as he does not want to be over with you…

    as for the friendship thing, he told me it is a way to keep the door open for whatever might be happening, obviously he does not want to lose you for now…

    he also told me a good point is that you have to see if he joined the dating site before you were dating or after a few months of dating, if after, it means something, it means that he was not really sastified to only date you, he wants to look for more… i don’t know if you understand or not..

  1560. #1560 by Jess on March 23, 2010 - 1:30 pm

    saggi girl,

    Thank you for sharing your co worker’s opinion, it makes sense to me and I agree. (even I don’t like it the guy’s selfish attitude on this one)

    I wish we have a guy on here doesn’t matter Taurus or not to give us some insight…

    Jane,

    I hope you get some rest, I know how little sleep can top up the worse. I don’t want that you focus too much about the message he has with your friend because you must not forget it was your friend who wrote him first and the way he replied is to be polite and not sound like flirting to me. I would suggest your friend should not tell him she is your friend because we never know what might be in the future if you are ok with him then this is going to put 3 of you in a awkward position.

    …………….. โ€™I will back away and for you to contact me if you wishโ€™!!! He is making no attempt to make it better or to make it work, why!?…………………… Jane, even he said he has betrayed your trust yes he knows what he did was not right but Jane basically he didn’t do anything wrong to you. His feeling is definitely growing toward you but do you think it means he’s suddenly realized you are the one and that he should cut all the possibilities?

    Look at saggi girl, she loves her guy very much but she is realistic enough to know her situation very well and she admits here that she keeps the door opens! (saggi girl, do you still keep your profile on the dating site?) If her guy ever find out about this he would perhaps feel the same way as you do now. I also keep my profile out there even I’m no longer active but if I get message of course I reply. I believe in destiny and chance. I’m a committed person once in a relationship but I know also how my ‘strong like a rock’ relationship in the past have proved me and failed me and leave me available till I met my bull today. Jane, my point is you are not in an exclusive nor committed relationship with him even though you already given your heart out, the way you look at this is only one way in which you can not see yourself being with any guy but him, but the way he looks at it may I presume that he is working things up with you, he might not even realized he already got your heart and he might not realized you got the same…

    I may sound too positive Jane but I have my theory, when you don’t know the other person heart as everybody has different way in showing you and giving out their heart. Then look at him/her as a person. A person you are in love with is basically a nice person or not. His/her attitude and action with the world are done in a kind or cruel manner. Stay calm and ask yourself when you are not bias if you think you can believe this person can be so mean or could fool you like a heartless person after all or not…

    Relax and feel better.

  1561. #1561 by Jane on March 23, 2010 - 2:07 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi saggi, thank you so much and how very sweet of you to ask your male co worker advice for me, I really appreciate that you did that.

    It is true we did not say we exclusive, well he didnโ€™t say it to me and I did tell him I wanted no one else and was not looking for anyone else (my mistake!) but saggi, this guy has commitment and fear of relationship issues, plus not financial stable (what Taurus need) and because he has shared his fears about relationships, dating and how slow he wants things to be I can not understand that this guy (others not having same fears maybe) would be wanting to date around while telling me to be patient with him, feelings growing, I tick all boxes ect!! Do you know what I mean because any โ€˜normalโ€™ guy I would think well we not exclusive, so it ok also with a โ€˜normalโ€™ guy I would have expected to be exclusive by now anyway as they wouldnโ€™t be Taurus!? Do you understand me saggi??

    I feel he has been dishonest, yes he probably does not owe me anything yet as we not exclusive, but he should have told me that, I am feeling that he didnโ€™t as he new deep down I would not be with him that way and also he wouldnโ€™t want for me to do it!
    I know he would hate for me to date anyone else while with him, so how can he expect me to accept it from him!!??

    Saggi I am so grateful to you and jess and I feel like I am boring you with this, I just know you can understand more than anyone as you been up and down with all these things.

    I have no intention of getting in touch with him, I do think my only chance of ever getting him back with me is if he misses me enough to feel he cant be with out me, because of his issues saggi I donโ€™t see him doing that and therefore I donโ€™t see him contacting me! That breaks my heart so bad.

    I would like to ask your opinion on this pleaseโ€ฆ As I said my friend has her picture on dating site now and because he has had a message off her (that we sent) he replied asking why she has no picture,And then said all this soppy stuff!!! Anyway she ignored him (iasked her to ignore him) I am thinking that he will message her again now as she has picture and I was thinking she should message him back saying something likeโ€ฆ hi, I would like you not to message me anymore, I have Jane with me and I did not know who you where before, (of course that is not true) something like that as I want it to stop I cant bare it but at the same time I am thinking it be good that he knows I have seen it!? What do you think? I donโ€™t like all this deceit and playing games, it is not me but I canโ€™t bare to think of him flirting (unknowingly) with my friend!!!
    Saggi I think you are right, he doesnโ€™t want it to be over with me, but he also knows how honest I am and how much I value honesty and hate lies or anything like that so he will know it will take a lot foe me to come back from this.

    I know deep in my heart that he will miss me so bad, he has already said how โ€˜differentโ€™ I am and how I โ€˜understandโ€™ him and that he has never experienced it before so I donโ€™t doubt it be hard for him too and I expect he feeling guilty at having let me find this out.
    I cant tell you how much I appreciate you here for me, I truly mean that, you are helping me so much get through this.
    Do you saggi, having heard all my posts/dramas ect really think this can turn around!? Please be true to me, I can take it! Sorry if I put you in difficult feeling here, I value your opinion.
    Thank you co worker for me too saggi, i have listened to all he said.
    In all of this I havnโ€™t asked how you are, I am sorry. How are things with you and your bull??

  1562. #1562 by Jane on March 23, 2010 - 2:13 pm

    Saggi

    Just wanted to add that he has led me to believe we will have a future, its me he wants. How can that be if he dating others!!?? I said to him in emailโ€ฆwhere you waiting to meet someone else fall in love before you told me!!! Where would that leave me then!!??

  1563. #1563 by saggi girl on March 23, 2010 - 2:21 pm

    Jess,

    I agree to what you have said, it is true that sometimes we have to leave it to destiny especially when it comes to relationship.

    yes, i still kept my profile on the site and was checking everyday because i want to be realistic to protect myself from God-knows future..it might be working or might be not, but i want to tell myself that i did not waste anytime waiting for him to decide as i did my part to protect myself too when the outcomes turned out negative.. people have right to love whoever, but i have right to protect myself too. That is how i see it now, nothing is secure unless he put a ring on your finger when it comes to relationship..

    yeah, i think my guy will feel being betrayed if he ever found out my profile online, but i have to do what i have to do as i am not a risk taker.. i love him but at the same time, i love myself too. but the thing is who knows what he was doing on his side, he might be looking for somebody else too.

    as for Jane’s case, i would think that biggest part of her hurt is due to her unawareness of his position.. she thought that he is working his way up to be with her.. but things are not like that.. that is what i think, when it comes to casually dating, we tend to compare.. we date a few people at the same time, then we settled for one when our feeling was growing strongly for a particular one..my bull did that when he was dating his wife, i think i mentioned that in previous post.. i asked my guy one time when we were just casually dating that if he will reject the temptation from outside when any girls were approaching him, then he said that he did not know, it will really depend on how he felt about me by the time when it was happening.. if his feeling was strong enough for me to reject the other opportunity, he will reject.. and he said that he did not know he would reject the opportunity for his wife until it actually happened.. i was disappointed by the time, but i understood his position. it was actually very objective answer and very honest answer.

    I think for Jane, her guy’s feeling might not be that strong yet, as they are just working their way up to some level, but honestly there is a risk for Jane to bear when she accept him as a friend at this point, i think she should sit back to let him to initiate the contact, because at this point, what he did was hurtful for Jane. RIght now, he knows her expectation and knows what she wants. If he wants to make it work, he should initiate contact..

    Jane, I am so sure that he will..you should sit back for now. do not contact him at all.

  1564. #1564 by Jane on March 23, 2010 - 3:01 pm

    Jess

    Thank you so much for helping me, I am truly a mess and miss him so bad!!

    Jess I do understand what you say, I do know why he would feel he doing nothing wrong too, but jess something else that just occurred to me also is he can spend time on dating sites, not initiate seeing me but leave it for me to arrange, why would he not โ€˜pushโ€™ more with me before trying else where, thatโ€™s what I struggle with.

    I donโ€™t know how this can turn around!!?? What would you do if you where me!!?? I meant to answer saggi also when she said time he joined site means something?? Not sure what saggi meant??
    I donโ€™t know for sure although he did say to my friend that he not been on it long and hasnโ€™t been on any dates yet!! That to me sounds like โ€˜well before I make a commitment to jane I must just have a check at whats out there!? What do you think jess?? I am just clutching at straws here arenโ€™t i!!??
    I see your point that maybe should not let him know it my friend he chatting too and just continue to tell her to ignore him?? What do you think!? I feel my heart is going to break in to bits! I am hoping he misses me and comes back!! How stupid am i!!??
    I donโ€™t know if I could trust him now that is why if he even gave me some kind of

    Jess I am not sure I understand when you sayโ€ฆโ€™I may be sound too positiveโ€™ jess what do you think he meant byโ€ฆโ€™I will step back and for you to contact me if you wishโ€™
    Do you think it is right to leave it, give him chance to miss me and make contact himself?? I am not sure he would and I donโ€™t think I can because of hurt I feel.
    Jess, do you think a good theory is if he was developing feelings for me then he will not want me to go!?

  1565. #1565 by Jane on March 23, 2010 - 3:08 pm

    Jess Saggi

    Sorry to bug youโ€ฆ!!! xx

  1566. #1566 by Jane on March 23, 2010 - 4:43 pm

    Saggi girl

    Saggi, its funny how you say your guy would feel betrayed if he saw your profile on dating site, well that is exactly how I feel, I know there is a difference that you and your guy exclusive so he would have more right than I do right now, but my guy led me to believe we working towards that exclusive status, do you see!!??

    I agree what you say about he may not have strong feelings for me yet but if that truly the case then I have no hope of him contacting me have I as these guys would not care if you walk away unless they realise they have feelings for you!!?? Right!?

    You are right that my biggest part of my hurt is not knowing he on dating site, I think the mistake I have made is I have made myself exclusive with him (its how I am, but I shouldnโ€™t have told him it) and expected him to be the same, I realise he needs to be sure, I knew I was and I was waiting for him. My sister thinks that the only reason he has said โ€˜I will back off for you to make contact if you wishโ€™ is that he knows how devoted I have been to him that he sure I will make contact!!! I donโ€™t know, but I do think it is more likely to be that he is letting me know he wants to keep my friendship, I believe that but also feel by being his friend now (now that I know about site) would be too difficult because I want more, I will always be thinking he dating others, thatโ€™s why if he gave me a small โ€˜gestureโ€™ with some status I would be ok with that.

    Ladies, I am truly sorry, I worry I am giving you a headache!!?? I am giving myself a headache!!!!!

    Thank you for your kindness, I feel lost with what to do, I think you be right saggi to sit back and do nothing right now!! xx

  1567. #1567 by Jess on March 23, 2010 - 5:09 pm

    Jane,

    I’ll just be honest and direct. I know it’s very hard and so much hurt for you but to be honest it’s not a big deal for me. There I said it. Now why I said it? I may not be the most experience person here but my experience so far told me how men are always men at the end of the day it all comes down to human nature and instinct. I’m not trying to cut him a slack but if you expect 100% honest from men may be you are living 20 years back date LOL! (sorry that was meant to make you laugh but i mean it…)

    Jane, don’t you think a guy at his age after a divorce he would not be more careful and cautious about seeing a woman? I’m not surprise and I may guess he has his profile for long time but not being active so much (same as my guy) what is wrong with that? and it was your friend who sent him a message first so he has to reply her nicely. My guy even made a sweet compliment on girls post, something like ‘oh you are so cute, if you visit here again l give you a kiss!’ i was not happy but i see no harm.

    You said you don’t know how this going to turn around? why turning anything around at all? You get hurt from finding out a piece of his private life (that may involve you in a future of this relationship) I’m sure if it was my guy he would reply me with his typical arrogant asshole response…. Anyway if i was him I do the same, i admit i apologize and i wait and hope for you to not giving up or shutting a door. You said why he not trying to do something to fix it but backing off and telling you to contact him instead?! Jane, I think this is his way to fix thing. He will wait until you and the heat calm down then he will contact you almost like nothing happen…. you know Bull(shit) style.

    You said, “…………..I feel he has been dishonest, yes he probably does not owe me anything yet as we not exclusive, but he should have told me that…………………..” Jane what part of this is being ‘dishonest’ for you? He has not dated other girl just yet as far as you are aware of. The only crime you catch is that he has a profile on a dating website and that he replied to your gf’s message! This side of him is new to you and I guess you don’t like the fact that you have no idea no share at all about this part of his life. Yes he probably exchange messages or even out to meet girls from the site behind your back but this may happen before he date you deeper and as long as you don’ know it for sure you can’t assume the crime is already committed. Yes this is a bit tricky and suspicious but you can’t act all broken apart from this broken piece of information.

    You said he has time to go on dating site but not making plan to see you, Jane his life is not all about either making time for work or you! He is a guy, he has his time for pleasure, the naughty kind the guilty kind… same as any other guys. He has time he just want to be lazy and have fun with his friends instead of you. He has time he might want to watch porn. All in all it doesn’t mean he not interested in you.

    I still think its for your own good not having your gf tell him she is your friend.

    Jane, I hope I don’t sound harsh and i really want you to really calm down and look at it as the outsider and tell me how serious this act of him? and do you really think this equal to he cheated on you already? do you really think this is something very serious to cut all the chance with this guy?

  1568. #1568 by saggi girl on March 23, 2010 - 5:18 pm

    Jane,

    no, do not say sorry to us. do not ever feel that way, we were here for each other and will be in the future too..

    my customer just left..i am good now back to this site.. Jane, right now, i would suggest that you do nothing but to back off. i do not know if that is a right decision but i was suggesting you in a way that i would do if i were in your situation.

    sit back and do nothing. He knows what you want out of him, if he wants more with you, he will back in contact but it will take times. you know they have a lot of patience. My guy one time had a fight with me, then i was thinking exactly the same way as you do right now, why he did not contact me right away if he wanted to make it work, but when i finally communited with him, he told me that he wants to give me more time and more space, i think they just want to bring down the flame a little bit before they are contacting you, and it also gives him the time to thinking about it.
    you are not in a position to initiate right now.. put yourself together and do anything to distract yourself. I know you will miss him dearly and sometimes you will get weak wanting to contact, but Jane, come to this site to get strength.. i will be here..

    i am ok.. and he texted me last night to wish me a good night and good day tomorrow.. well, it was nothing new.. i am used to it now..

  1569. #1569 by Jess on March 23, 2010 - 5:19 pm

    You are not giving us a headache Jane don’t worry and don’t be sorry, but you analyze too much even his mistake… you feel so much for him that you feel so much when he fail you or disappoint you and this is dangerous. You are living up too much on him.

    One time I remember my guy was with me when one of my girlfriends was in grief finding out her boyfriend was dating another girl. My guy told me to tell my friend if she loves him give him time and NEVER tell him to go away that she never wanted to see him again, never shut the door. My guy told me a guy can make mistake but if you love him you tell him to think about it and just get back to you when he is ready, always leave the door open, if its you he really wants he will make his way back to you. I guess this is Taurus’s logic LOL!

  1570. #1570 by Jane on March 23, 2010 - 5:20 pm

    Saggi

    When you say you have profile on dating site, I can see your point but in all this time of being with your guy, checking site ect if you had a guy on there you got chatting to and he asked you for a date would you go? Or have you gone in the past? I donโ€™t mean to prey your business so donโ€™t answer question if you wish its just I wondered how you would work it if it happened, goodness what is wrong with me I am so naรฏve arenโ€™t i!!??!!!

  1571. #1571 by saggi girl on March 23, 2010 - 5:24 pm

    oh Jess,

    i just read your post after i post mine. i was so surprised over how you commented on “taking his time to contact.” i commented exactly the same.

    what a journey for us… we are on the same page with them..LOL

  1572. #1572 by Jess on March 23, 2010 - 5:30 pm

    Saggi girl!

    LOL! I was going to say the same! I read your post to Jane and I’m totally with you! I know you and I don’t feel this this as a big crime, may be because we have gone thru it before and more…hehe but I hope Jane can calm down and get thru it to be on the same page with us too!

  1573. #1573 by saggi girl on March 23, 2010 - 5:33 pm

    Jane,

    ask any questions you want, i have no secret to hold back from you..hehehe, we are sisters. come on.. well, i really hope Jess can set up a secret blog that we can go to for sharing more…LOL
    yes, i will go and i did go in the past, but things did not work out. I did not feel the chemistry with them at all. Jess knew the story that i dated a saggi guy that a dating services referred me to when i had a huge fight with my guy when he told me that he did not love me.. but i did not feel the chemistry at all..

    why not going?? unless he put a ring on my finger, i will go. Jane, we need to protect ourselves for our own good.

  1574. #1574 by saggi girl on March 23, 2010 - 5:43 pm

    Jane,

    actually i am waiting on another referral now.. i called the dating services to check on the status of the referral as they are too slow.. hehehe.

  1575. #1575 by Jess on March 23, 2010 - 5:48 pm

    saggi girl,

    You be careful! and make sure a guy is not a friend of your bull… hehe

  1576. #1576 by saggi girl on March 23, 2010 - 6:00 pm

    Oops, i never thought about that. hehehehe..

  1577. #1577 by Jane on March 23, 2010 - 6:18 pm

    Jess, Saggi

    I have been reading everything you both saying to me, the tears are rolling down my face, do you know why!??? I will tell you why, YOU ARE BOTH SO RIGHT!!

    Reading it and taking it in makes so much sense, jess I understand, he has not committed a crime to me you are right that it is new for me and that is why it is painful also, I am way too much in to him that I am โ€˜devastatedโ€™ I should not let that happen. I must calm myself.
    You are right he has been through divorce and I have always understood his past pain and caution, I truly have.
    Jess you have put this in perspective for me, I have took this too personal and overlooked the fact that he is just being a โ€˜guyโ€™ Ok a sweet talking bullshit guy but still LOL (there you have managed a laugh from me!!)
    I think what I felt was โ€˜dishonestโ€™ from him was the fact I didnโ€™t know, I guess I had no right to know, my mistake and I suppose if I am truly honest jess, I felt jealous that he is giving his attention to someone else when I struggle to get his attention at times! I need to lighten up!

    You donโ€™t sound harsh Jess, you make clear sense, I feel like you are a true friend who is being honest with me and I need that, saggi too, you are both important to me and how crazy that is as we never met!!! I am still hoping for โ€˜wifey clubโ€™ one day!! Lol
    Saggi, Jess, I will take time right now for โ€˜meโ€™ to feel how I truly am, after all you have both said I am thinking how sensitive I am, I I have let my love for him consume me and you are right jess, thatโ€™s dangerous for me to do that!!
    I have taken every little thing about my relationship with him far too seriously, I am seeing that and I must see my responsibility in this. I will, thank you.

    I am not going to do anything right now but can I just say that I feel I will look like an idiot to him if I back down all I said to him, do you know what I mean? All the hurt I expressed and how devastated I feel if I make contact its like I donโ€™t care or that he can date and I am fine with it! Do you think that is the message I would give!!??
    I hear what you say about keeping door open but I am worried I have not done that as I ended my email with โ€ฆโ€™the road is now clear for you to date and find a woman you truly want, despite everything I truly wish you all the bestโ€™ Oh boy now I wish I hadnโ€™t said that!! You see jess your right, I let my emotions consume me and take over. He may now think the door is closed!!??

    Not yet, few weeks/days maybe would sending him an email explaining my understanding (or rather you ladies that I now see!!) of all that has happened and that we could be โ€˜friendsโ€™ and I do mean friends and change things between us that way pressure off him and stops me wanting more, (I think) You see I am not sure if that is practical as my feelings for him are love so maybe I am kidding myself. As I said though I donโ€™t want him to think I didnโ€™t ,mean all I said in email, I did and it was overall very heartfelt and dramatic I suppose in places, ladylike though!! Lol

    I feel calmer at the moment, more hopeful. Thank you to you both special friends to me xx

    Saggi, glad your guy in touch, wishing you goodnight and good day too, sweet. Yes you are used to him, itโ€™s a good job! Lol

    Jess I know your time is precious with your guy, I hope its ok. Here you are making time for me, how very lovely you are, I appreciate it so much.

    xx

  1578. #1578 by Jane on March 23, 2010 - 6:29 pm

    Saggi Jess

    LOL LOL LOL!!!!!!!
    Oh bless you both I am laughing so much!! We do need private blog and I do hope I can get on same page!!!
    I totally agree with all you are saying, have you heard the expressionโ€ฆโ€™the penny has droppedโ€™!!!??? I get it.
    All I have to do now is get my guy back!!???

  1579. #1579 by saggi girl on March 23, 2010 - 9:39 pm

    Jane,

    i am glad that you feel better.. what you need to do right now is to sit back and stay calm.. when you are in a less emotional stage, then you will know what to do.. right now, just sit back and be calm..

  1580. #1580 by Mia on March 24, 2010 - 5:25 am

    Hi Sweet Ladies, Saggi, Jane, Jess;)

    Guess who’s back… It is okay, it’s really good, I am respecting myself and he is too.

    I have been reading another blog type and very similar to this one and it says to stay patient, patient patient and they will come back. I always felt underneath that he cares deeply for me and that i was the only one he wanted between all the other friends that are women. he was very nice and gently telling me that he has lots of lady friends but THEY ARE ONLY FRIENDS, I said, it’s okay, you can have as many girlfriends as you want… (I meant friends that are gals) he shrugged and said, i don’t have any girlfriends, meaning I (mia) have absolutely nothing to worry about…

    i also nicely told him i am not about this new stuff (friends with benefits) that i am old fashioned and believe in liking someone and you go on dates and enjoy company and doing fun things. he is too.

    he said i do annoy him when i have to go alllllll the way around the mountain to explain when he only wanted a yes or no answer, lol. geez.

    he met me tonight to so ii could get a fishing pole, he was late, yup, i already bought it, he had to help his dad with something, he did show up and we went back in store and he bought a couple shorts on sale, very nice, and we bought worms for us to go try out fishing pole at his friends. for him to take me back to his friend’s house is huge. it was so nice i can’t tell you… we drove around and he squeezed my hand when we parted for the night.

    we spoke of camping, and it is a relief to be back now.

    jane, i have not had time to read everything and i hope you are more calm. he will be back! i don’t know details, but i can promise you in my case he had no idea and in his mind, he was just as close to me as ever he did not think much about it. Jane, I don’t know the particulars, but when my guy was with me for 6 months he was still on the site!

    also my guy may still flirt and stuff i don’t know but i do know no matter how bad it appears from my end, he is way more true to me than i had ever thought. appearances are deceiving.

    in my case with guys i have always gone to the man that i date for info instead of the guys past girlfriends, or anyone else… i just think if u really like him, best to go to him…

    i did tell him i want to keep us very light, very slow and just fun for now:) fun things like camping and stuff…

    i can’t wait to read when i have more time and am hoping all is well.

    i am sending all hugs and much love and peace… xoxoxox
    mia
    very very special hugs and love to you jane, i so pray you are okay and not in too much pain… i truly think he will be back from what you have told us… i know he does think you are very very special to him jane… xoxoxox

  1581. #1581 by Jane on March 24, 2010 - 7:25 am

    Saggi girl

    Thank you for your wise words, I am feeling calmer except my stomach is doing permanent flipovers!!! I feel sick as the thought it now creeping in that I may never see him again.
    I am keeping as busy as I can but there is a void where he used to fit and that is breaking my heart also, while I am missing him I am hoping he is ok. I keep hoping he is missing me, crazy I know because I would never find that out but he is such a beautiful and gentle human being that was gradually trusting me and letting me close then BAM! This all happened and I am now at the bottom again.

    You know how these guys hate change, this is a big one, as much as we had different lives we where very much in each others life and I cant bare not knowing how he is, I just hope he is feeling the same.
    Stubborn Taurus though, so him contacting me is very slim chance, he knows he cant offer me anything right now so I know he wont see the point that is why he ended email with, โ€˜I will take step back for you to contact me if you wish tooโ€™. That upsets me so much as I was so prepared to wait and he new it, I know he is saying that because he doesnโ€™t want to lose me as a friend and that is all, plus he knows he upset me too. I am a firm believer like you ladies, if he misses me bad enough then he will be back. Itโ€™s like all the Taurus ways come flooding to the service, how these guys like to operate and do things.

    I hope this is not over, I know for now I have to believe it is and that is heartbreaking.

    Thank you so much Saggi for being here x

  1582. #1582 by Jane on March 24, 2010 - 7:35 am

    Mia

    Hi to you and thank you for your lovely words, I am so glad your guy has saw the error of his ways!!
    I am so happy to hear things turning around for you; he is saying all the right things to you that you have longed to here, right!??

    Mia, I am sorry that my head is all over the place at the moment, I am following your post, just bare with me with my comments.
    Good luck to you, it seems he has realised how much you shine all by himself!! Fantastic x

  1583. #1583 by Jane on March 24, 2010 - 7:54 am

    Jess

    Hi jess, thank you for all your help and support, I really donโ€™t think I would be getting through this if I didnโ€™t have you and saggi, honestly you both helping me so much.

    I keep thinking of you and how things are going to be for you in next few days with your guy about to go on his long trip. I do hope you are ok and managing to grab some time together, I know that is so difficult for you with your parents.
    Your outlook on things is so inspiring, you really are adorable and your guy I am sure with do everything in his power to keep in touch with you and have you with him asap!!
    I know how practical you are, you are so like Taurus in many ways (oh the good ways lol) you will keep perspective on this and protect you, while at the same time do all you can to work things out.
    I know I can safely speak on behalf of saggi, mia and the others here and say we will truly be here to support you Jess, you know that.
    It is true I deeply hope me and my Taurus get this sorted out and can be together, either way I do not want to lose contact with you wonderful friends I have made here.

    I hope you are ok jess, big hugs to you x

  1584. #1584 by Jane on March 24, 2010 - 11:41 am

    Saggi,Jess

    I am not having a very good day so far, it started with me feeling calmer about things, and then this happenedโ€ฆ. Well as you all know our bulls birthdays all approaching and I had bout my guy theatre tickets for a show that I know that he would just love, he knows nothing about it except he has booked day off work (it is 5days before his birthday) as I asked him too, he just knows it was a surprise for him ( I am so gutted it is not happening now!) Anyway my sister called me this morning to say someone in her work wants to buy the tickets from me, well I just broke down in tears, its so hard because I wanted me and him to go and as the tickets quite expensive I realise I should get money for them if I can because I am certainly not going to go with anyone else! I borrowed the money to get them before my pay day.

    I have got my sisters wedding coming up to that he said he was coming with me and meeting all my family!!
    I am missing him so bad but I know that all I can have with him is friendship and nothing more, it would be too painful because friendship was fine when I thought it may lead to more but now because of his actions I believe it will be friendship and nothing else. That is difficult when you love someone.
    I am struggling to understand also that about a month ago, the night he struggled to hold my hand!! Well we where texting when he got home and I said to him, โ€˜I know because you could not even hold my hand that you must never want anything with me more than friendshipโ€™ he replied,โ€™ how do you know I want nothing moreโ€™? I was delighted with his response as I know him and I know in the past he would have avoided it completely! He went on to say, โ€˜you are an amazing and gorgeous woman so please be patient with me and there will be a pot of gold at the end of our rainbowโ€™.

    That I do believe was progress as I know how difficult it is for him to say things like that. I am wishing so bad this hadnโ€™t happened and we could talk about it. The thing is, what could he say to make me feel better as he is going to be on that site, I could not bare that, to think of him with someone else even if it is just dating! I know he hasnโ€™t met with anyone as yet, why else would he be there!!???

    I just needed to get that off my chest, I feel so sick as I donโ€™t believe he will make contact and I feel I cantโ€ฆ.!!

  1585. #1585 by saggi girl on March 25, 2010 - 1:49 am

    Jane,

    do not worry about frienship as for me friendship is just a BS, it is a way for them to stay in your life and it is a way for them to take time to analyze things without any pressure coming from you, if it is a friendship, it will be romantic frienship..

    my bull said that before when i broke up with him, he was very certain that he just want to stay friend with me, and he does not want to involve in a romantic setting anymore, 100% friendship.. then i believed him and felt bad that i will only mean a friend to him.. but guess what, he contacted me after i called him to leave the door open after the break up, he said that he was just passing by my place and asked if he can see me.. then i was like” yeah, ok.” when i see him, i know already that there is no way he is going to treat me as a friend…he was staring at me and kept asking whom i dumped him for.. then i was looking down eating my food, he reached my face and touch it.. and when i was standing up ready to go, he kissed my face and holding me from behind.. then i was thinking” Jesus, is that his meaning of friendship?” then he finally kissed me in his car. Jane, does it seem like a friendship to you??

    so, i think what you need to do right now is to sit back and give it a week, then if you still want to contact him, then do it.. but do not mention anything at all. You can just call him to say hello and leave the door open.. but keep the conversation light and sound upbeat and very happy with your life.. then hang up first. I am sure he will call you again. but you have to be patient as they are not going to call you again very soon. it normally takes a week.. that is what has happened with my case..

    I think they do not like needy girls and like the strong girl.. so Jane, when you really talk to him, just be strong and show him that you are ok without him and life goes on well… treat him like a friend if you talk to him on the phone…things will get back little by little…

  1586. #1586 by Jane on March 25, 2010 - 6:41 am

    Saggi girl

    Hi saggi, thank you for your encouraging words.
    My friend told me last night that it doesnโ€™t appear he has been โ€˜on lineโ€™ (dating site) past couple of days (well at least the times she has been there) I am happy to hear that as I am hoping he thinking of me instead!!!

    My friend says maybe he is โ€˜laying lowโ€™ for a while, I would rather think he thinking of me!!!
    The more I think about it saggi, I feel I can not make contact, I have spoken to 2 of my male friends who I have known for a long time, one in particular is like โ€˜my brotherโ€™ we have known each other that long and they both said that what they think he has done wrong in all of this that seems unacceptable is its been nearly 1year of being together and he should not be on dating site after all that time and said if it been few months then maybe but the distance we come he should know what he wants from me by then!!
    I must admit hearing that I was thinking in my mindโ€ฆThis is a Taurus though!!! Very different!!!

    I just feel confused with how I feel about it. I do feel a big part that he doing guy thing ect and then I feel he looking for someone else!!

    Saggi in all I have said from him and me, do you really think based on your experience that he will contact me!!?? Do you think I have โ€˜closed the doorโ€™ too much with my email!!??
    I feel I cant contact him, for me to be in anything with him I feel I want him to lead as he knows how I feel. If I contact him its like my email meant nothing and I will accept whatever he throws at me (if you know what I mean!?)

    I realise you have gave me your opinion on this and I appreciate so much as I trust what you say that is why I am here but saggi, I would like to know what your gut feeling is from your experience. Your guy with โ€˜friendshipโ€™ thing is so like me and him because โ€˜noโ€™ we have never acted like friends, he knows it and I said that in email to him, that is why I was so upset as he has led me to believe we moving โ€˜slowly forwardโ€™
    I am worried I have not let door open for him although I feel deep down that if he truly wants something with me saggi as you said too then he will contact me right!!?? Do you think it is really better for me to wait for him??

    Saggi, thank you again, my head is everywhere, I just feel permanently sick and miss him so much, I hope he feeling sick too!! Lol
    I hope you and your guy are ok saggi, I guess he text/called you before sleep!!?? Do you have plans for week end as I remember you said he has โ€˜Judaismโ€™ thing!!?

    Hugs to you x

  1587. #1587 by saggi girl on March 25, 2010 - 12:30 pm

    Jane,

    I understand how you feel..especially when your guy friend told you how they felt.. for me, honesty it is hard to say if he is going to call if you do not call, as my case was different from yours when i broke up with him as it was just after 2 months of dating..and he did not know why i broke up with him…but he respected my decision and said that he is not going to call based on request..so, i went ahead to call him to leave the door open..

    but your guy knew why you broke up with him and also you have been with each other for nealy a year.. he was must used to having you around. he knew he did things to make you upset..but i think it will take time for him to think it through either he wants to continue or he does not..but the result is uncertain and it all depends on how deep he involved with his feeling during this period of time. but from what i saw, his feeling was getting closer to you and he won’t throw things like that. so, i am sure if you do not call and just leave things like that, yes, he will call. i remembered my guy told me the reason he had not called for over 2 or 3 weeks is because he just want to take time to think and also want to give me the space or time to chill it out.. but he will call eventually.

    so,jane, do not worry too much…do not ask guy anymore as people are different..

    I am ok with my bull, he has been texting me for 3 days and probably he will call tonight if he follows the routine.. i don’t know if that is normal or not, my new schedule is like: mon-wednesday, he will text for good night before he goes to bed, thursday he will call for good night, Friday will text, and saturday will call, sunday will see me..” i don;t know if it sounds normal to you or not, as he used to call every other night for good night, but right now, he chose to text.. do not know. i asked him last sunday when i saw him” it seems that we do not have much talking during the week.” but he said lightly” yeah, but we still talk…”, do not know.. it sounds to me he was not much into talking to me anymore..maybe that is his way of pulling away from me little by little..

  1588. #1588 by Jane on March 25, 2010 - 1:58 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi and thank you saggi for sharing your experience and input with me. Very valuable to me as you know.

    Saggi my experience was similar to you last year when we had been dating 2 months only and I broke up with him, he said he respected my decision although did try at first to talk me out of it.2weeks with no contact at all and that was the longest time we have ever not had contact over all, anyway it was me who contacted him first as I missed him, I donโ€™t think at that time he had any feelings for me at all or at least any he was aware of!! I think probably if I hadnโ€™t of got in touch with him he would have not bothered, what is interesting about that back then is when he replied to me he did so straight away and said โ€˜โ€ฆ.keep in touchโ€™ I knew he was glad I got in touch and was letting me know he wanted it to continue, and that was that.
    This is so much different as you say, because we nearly a year down the line and he is used to me being around, part of his life ect so I guess he will miss that just as I do.
    We got so close so I suppose if he truly is having feelings for me like I believe he was then he should make contact, also he knows how upset I am and for that reason I do not expect him to do it any time soon!!! Layed back and patient Taurus!!!

    He did say โ€˜I will respect your feelings and step back for you to make contact with me if you wish tooโ€™. That may prevent him making contact.

    Another concerning thing though is he said in his email that โ€˜he knows I want a lot more than he can give me at this timeโ€™ The truth is saggi, he doesnโ€™t know what I want, I am certainly not wanting full on commitment I just want to be the only one and take things slow, be together and see how things go, I am scared too, he has never asked me that and I wonder what does he THINK I want, because that may be a scary issue for him and prevent him coming back!!??!!
    I donโ€™t know if your guy like this but I know with him it is all or nothing, he likes to give โ€˜everythingโ€™ when he does and as he has some other issues right now, timing may not be right!!??!!

    I guess saggi only time will tell I believe we meant to be together but there is no point in me feeling that if he doesnโ€™t feel it too!

    I would say you would agree with this saggi that no matter, what if a guy truly wants something with you then nothing will get in their way; they will find their way back. I do believe that and also a guy will โ€˜be readyโ€™ if they find the right woman because they would not risk losing her to someone else by them saying they โ€˜not readyโ€™ I have said this to my guy in the past. As we both know Taurus are commitment phobic anyway, even worse if a lot of hurt in their past so maybe nothing can move my guy forward, who knows, I will just sit this out saggi, as hard as it is. I am feeling ok at the moment but I know as time goes on I will struggle more so I will be asking your help, thank god you are here, bless you!!

    Saggi, how interesting you say how your guy is with โ€˜phone routineโ€™, Is it normal!? Well one thing I did notice with my guy is the more comfortable/settled he became the more he let things go a little, like it wasnโ€™t a big deal if he text or if he didnโ€™t (too him anyway!!) it felt to me like โ€˜well, she is there, not going anywhere, so I can text later, tonight in the morning blah blah!!! I donโ€™t think I can explain that correctly in the way I mean LOL sorry do you know what I mean!!?? It sounds to me youโ€™re your guy the same like when he say โ€˜yeah, but we still talkโ€ฆ.!! To him whats the problem? I am so comfortable with you know that itโ€™s no big deal any more, to him you still talk so what you making a fuss about!! Lol Do you see!!???

    They do not understand how us woman โ€˜tickโ€™ they just donโ€™t get that things like that matter to us and he Taurus so his attitude will be like it or lump it eh!!! LOL

    I do not think he is pulling away from you saggi, he is just cosy and comfortable with you, I know what you mean x

  1589. #1589 by Jane on March 25, 2010 - 4:07 pm

    Jess

    Jess, I do you hope you are ok, I realise today your guy leaves, I am feeling so sad for you as I know you will miss each other so bad.
    Donโ€™t forget your friends here for support, bless you and your guy I do hope you both ok and managed to spend time together.

    Hugs xx

  1590. #1590 by Mia on March 26, 2010 - 6:41 am

    Jane, Saggi, Jess,

    Hope ur all hanging in there. Jane, trying to keep up with your posts, and so hope ur mind is a bit more clear now. we have all gone through this. and truly it is not as bad as it appears. my guy was on a site i saw it just as you. i chose not to say anything. i never went back. however sometimes a question i posed in google would take me back to that site and after about a month, he was no longer there.

    but i had to think and ask questions of me before i could “act” on my decision to confront him or not. my questions were, has he commited to you? no. then if he has made no claim on u, he is free to do whatever he wants. and if the relationship was balanced on both sides, u should not feel too bad, however, if you were giving more than he was giving back to you, the dating site will cause u more insecurity, less confidence, and feelings of resentment.

    please know my hugs go out to you Jane. also remember and this goes for me to… it isn’t just that he wants to look at his options, a man can pull back like yours whenever he is not financially stable, or whenever he is having work issues, so it may not neccessarily be one particular gal, or any gal at all.

    jess know ur going to miss your guy terribly.

    jess and saggi, my heart aches for you both about ur family situation. u are in my prayers. jane, you are in my prayers.

    my guy and i spoke online tonight, and we are doing pretty good. i don’t want to talk much about me and my guy as i can remember many times when i would come here and i would be feeling low and my guy was distancing, or we had a break up, and i would see comments like, “oh me and my guy are swell ๐Ÿ™‚ he came over to see me in my apt and brought me flowers and then he cooked for me.” i would get on and say, how sweet of your handsome tauris to cook for you. i hate you” ….

    thanks and sending hugs for all,
    mia xoxoxox
    jane, hang in there, ur doing better and will continue i’m sure. each day that goes by with no contact from u to him, is increasing his attraction to you! stay positive, hugs for you!

  1591. #1591 by Jane on March 26, 2010 - 7:28 am

    Mia

    Thank you for your sweet words,
    I am so sad today, thinking of everything going around in my head!!
    Can he seriously just move on like the past year hasnโ€™t happened!!??!!

    I am so glad for you that you and your guy are doing better, it sounds like you taking things so much slower, so that has to be good yeah, keep up the good work Mia, he came back to you, that does prove so much.

    I do think that way, if a guy wants you bad enough then he will be back, the thing with my guy though is I am now thinking โ€˜timingโ€™ isnโ€™t so good, he is not in a good place financially, or emotionally and I know with Taurus especially that is I big thing, he has always had an โ€˜emotionalโ€™ wall up that I believe was very slowly coming down but I guess its whether he is prepared to give me that bit more, I am doubting that very much as I know how fearful he is.

    I regret on a big level that I wont get the chance to just talk to him, explain how I feel and ask him about site, his need for it and how he sees me, maybe then we could have sorted something out about that. I guess I will never know that.

    Mia, keep your strong attitude, ball in your court, he will continue to see you differently, more respect you are doing great.

    Hugs to you x

  1592. #1592 by saggi girl on March 26, 2010 - 2:28 pm

    Jane,

    thanks for your comforting words and i just felt so down with my bull. it seems that those bulls always cause us heartbroken.. why on earth they will exist?? whom to blame?? us, i think..

    Jane, stay calm and wait for him to contact you and i am sure that he will.. but it is just a matter of time for how long?? wait a week or two, if he still does not contact, then if you want to email him or text him, then it is ok to do so.. but for now, do not contact him until you gave enough time for yourself to think and also gave him enough time to think.. I know it is hard for you, but you have to be like this..

    I saw an article last night, it was about staying friend when a relationship was over especially a guy asked to be, it says that it is a way to keep the communication line open and it also is a way for them to think things over.. i was trying to post it.. but it did not go through.

    hope you will feel better.

  1593. #1593 by saggi girl on March 26, 2010 - 4:33 pm

    Jess and Jane,

    i was a little bit upset at my bull due to his lack of communication most recently. he texted me more than he called and it is friday today but i haven’t spoken with him yet. actually something happened yesterday that i was feeling upset.. i think he does not want to talk to me anymore or he was too comfortable with the way of communication.. texting..

    we have been texting since monday, actually i saw him last sunday and we spent time together and then he left.. on the same night, he texted me saying” nice to see you baby.. good night with kisses.. have a good day tomorrow.” then he has been texting me since monday until today, he used to at least call every other day to say good night even though we did not talk much, and it normally he was tired or exhausted when i asked him how his day was.. but at least he called before he went to bed almost every other nights, but right now, he was pretty comfortable texting me to say good night.. he was supposed to call on wednesday, but he did not, instead, he texted me for good night. then on Thursday morning, i texted him to see if i can see him for lunch as i happened to stop by his nearby location due to business purpose but i will need to get back to office by 2pm, but it took him over 2 hours to responde like” baby, my work is busy today. i won’t have time for lunch..sorry. i might leave early to see the dentist.. let’s talk tonight and have a good day baby. then he put a smiley face on it.” well, i was a little bit disappointed, but i wait until i calm to text him like” ok, be careful.” but he did not call last night, instead, i got a message like” baby i went to the dentist and my mouth is sore. will be ok. i will call you tomorrow. please understand about tonight. going to sleep early.. good night with kisses.. then he put a smiley face again.” i was so upset when i saw the text message, i felt that he fooled me, he was just making excuses for not calling.. but i did not act on my madness, instead, i texted him back like” oh, baby, i am sorry about that. have a good sleep and good night with kisses.” but i was really really upset.

    he has not called me for 4 days.. i felt like that he just use text as a short cut to keep in touch instead of calling.. i knew he was busy and a lot of things on his mind, i already showed my understanding, but i felt like that he took my kindness for granted.. if he did not want to contact me, then do not have to send a text instead to show his gesture.. he should have just broken up with me.. why play things like this?? i kind of hinted last sunday that we did not talk a lot during the week, but he was like” but we still talk..” what kind of answer was that??
    he is going to call me tonight, i really want to curse him out..

    if he lost interest, just say it.. do not text to show his gesture, i do not need that at all..

  1594. #1594 by Jess on March 26, 2010 - 4:45 pm

    Hi girls, I’m back!

    Yes he left already last night and will be away for 3 months… I’m very tired now since I didn’t sleep so much the past 2 nights. I’m fine not feeling sad (just yet…) Last night he really surprise me big time. I tell you girls this is another example that I confirm Taurus guys they know what is going on and what they are doing but they just playing dumb like they have no idea and if you can hang on with a patient it pays off. You know my birthday is coming in the next 2 week. Since the whole time even after he told me since last year that he’s leaving around March which means he can not be with me on my Bday, I have not said a word about my Bday at all. So yesterday our last date before he left, he text me to meet him at the IT mall. I felt a bit odd that he should not spend our last few hours by shopping stuff for his trip that he should have prepared and be ready already but well he is Taurus so it’s nothing surprising that he likes to do thing the last minute…

    He said he wanted to buy a laptop for his mother so we spent about 1.5 hour looking for one and once we finished, he put the bag on my hand and said ‘happy birthday honey, I’m sorry I can’t be with you on your birthday but now you have your own laptop and we can use it to connect sometimes’ I was really shocked, really shocked! because I never in any moment thought he could remember my birthday or make a deal about it. And I was surprised because he knew I don’t own myself a laptop and he always want me to have one. I was standing still feeling surprised with that look in my eyes I guess he feels a big wave of emotion is coming so he told me not to kiss him here and now because we are in public and he didn’t want to feel sad that he is leaving…

    I have to say I still can not believe I have seen this side of him, I never knew he is capable of surprising people… But ladies Taurus is Taurus, even he said he will try to text me before he take off and when he landed…. since we parted last night until now its already few hours after landed I have not heard a word from him… yeah tell me about it!

  1595. #1595 by Jane on March 26, 2010 - 4:49 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi to you, I do hope you are ok saggi, these bulls most definatly have a lot to answer for!!
    They do not realise how much heartbreak they cause you are right!
    I get the impression saggi that you have some ways similar to me in that you โ€˜analyseโ€™ things very much, always looking for validation and feeling disappointment, I do it too and although I think I am a reasonable person I still somehow get disappointed.
    I look into things too much, that is true. I canโ€™t help that as it is my personality.

    I want to thank you so much again saggi as there you are having upset and feeling down and you there for me, how lovely that is, saggi I am here for you too, I do mean that! Hey, we must stick together! If things do not work out for me and my guy, I still want to keep contact with you, I feel you are a real friend to me and it is good to know that someone understands all this โ€˜bullshit heartacheโ€™ lol

    You said about โ€˜friendship articleโ€™ Ah you tried to post it, never mind. I have been thinking saggi that it would be so difficult for me to be his friend now because I would feel we have taken many steps backwards, before all this I was happy being his โ€˜friendโ€™ (even though it was more!) because we where moving towards something, if I was his friend now, would it work!!?? He would have to not date anyone else, it would have to be that way for me to trust him.

    I am going to do nothing for now, so very hard as I miss him more as each day passes, I pray he missing me too, I hope you are right saggi and he does get in touch, I realise what you said that he will wait for โ€˜flame to turn downโ€™ before making contact and also give myself and himself time to think. I know you are right I have to think like that, and keep distance. I guess, he will not want to lose me if he has feelings for me, I believe it is true but it all depends how he thinks he can give me some of what I want or if he lets his fear take over. I want him to return on his own and not because I have prompted him into it.
    Bulls are straight forward after all if they want something, right!!??
    The thing is all I want is, to be the only one he dating, to spend time with each other, be able to kiss and hug, hold hands, just really do those things and see how things progress. I think though that he thinks I want โ€˜the whole packageโ€™ of course I do further down the line but for now I want โ€˜slowโ€™ the same as him, I always have. It just mostly felt out of reach at times!!
    Saggi, I do hope you and your bull have a good time together at the weekend; you relax saggi, get dressed up, strut your stuff and let this guy see the wonderful woman you truly are!!
    Donโ€™t feel down saggi, lift your spirits, your guy knows he is lucky to have you!!

  1596. #1596 by saggi girl on March 26, 2010 - 5:17 pm

    Jess,

    wow, i just saw your posting.. what a bull..my guy never did that at all for me.. i guess your bull is the one worth the wait but not mine..

    in my memory, he always said that i complained all the time. of course, i will complain as he does not do things i want him to do.. even after i demanded. i asked him a few times to bring flowers but he never did unless it was on my valentines’s day one time..

    I think your guy love you, i can see that. but i do not feel that my guy love me as he never suprised me like your guy did. i guess i am just a day dreamer..

    congratulations.. Jess.. what a bull. what a bull.. hehehehe.. you are the winner..

  1597. #1597 by Jess on March 26, 2010 - 5:40 pm

    Jane,

    Give it a week. Remember Taurus is very famous on their patient area… I doubt if you can ever compete them on that…

    Your ticket if I may suggest, sell it for the same money or more, if thing with your guy is back ok you can always find something else for his birthday and you must remember you will not work hard on gift/surprise for him more than he does to you. So do not worry about the ticket, just only if you are together there are plenty chances to surprise him.

    When I blew off with him and lost contact for 10 days I’m the one who give up first and contact him after a week and I heard nothing back, that moment I felt it’s over how could he goes over a week not contacting me and even after my super sweet text could not even melt his heart. But then after 3 days I got his message that totally melt me that he missed me like he never miss anyone in his life and he think about me when he woke up, during the day and before sleep. The feeling of losing me is the worst feeling he has for years! See saying that but he could bear not contacting me for 10 days!!!!! After we talked again he apologise and thanks me for not hating him and for coming back. He said he thought he was losing me. I should have but never did ask him if I didn’t contact him first would he do that?!

    So Jane, I’m SUPER SURE your guy must miss you so much and perhaps spending this period feeling the gap of not having you around. Let him sink in with his lost a bit until you still don’t hear from him and can not take it anymore, think of a text you want to send him.

    Hugs!

  1598. #1598 by Jess on March 26, 2010 - 5:52 pm

    saggi girl,

    You know I never get that much contact from my guy like yours! You should really pay attention on that. My guy is capable of that because he has a good financial status. But good finance doesn’t help with constant contact like your guy!!! Even now that the calling is less but text instead I still think that is nice.

    You know saggi it’s not only that my guy is super bull but I’m rarely giving him a fuss about anything. I’m very relax and easy with his lifestyle even I don’t like it sometimes because I feel neglected but I understand and like it somehow that his personality and this lifestyle that make him today (damn it I hate myself sometimes because I understand too much!!!) I want him to be him as much as I want to be me and I want us to match or dismatch from here and now if it’s going to be forever at all. If we can not match our dis-match now I can not see any forever to come. I know if you fall in love with a person you will want to be a better person by yourself. I assure you that because I’m the kind of person that I do the opposite or withdraw if someone try to force me. I want that to happen to him and to me also by ourself by our own will. Time and patient and understanding will take care of everything.

    Saggi girl, no need to feel bad about your guy on this one at all. Get over this one with calm and understanding I’m sure he will notice it in mind and you will earn his admiration in the long term.

  1599. #1599 by Jess on March 26, 2010 - 6:05 pm

    saggi girl,

    I forgot to mention that i got a fake rose last year for Valentine… Funny thing is I was very happy lol! and this year on Vday I got noting but we spent the night together and that is already our gift to each other…

    We never did many sweet things other couple do, we never go to a cinema together, we never talked on the phone (!!!!!)…. so many odds but well lets see!

  1600. #1600 by saggi girl on March 26, 2010 - 7:01 pm

    Jess,

    wow, you are so calm on things, how did you get this far..well, maybe that is who are you, that is why things are working out with your bull.

    i think it might be the case that you guys are matching with each other as you understand him so much. but for me, i always wanted to make him to understand me.. to spoil me and to take care of me.. but things are always going to the opposite.

    he used to contact me every other nights before he went to bed, but starting from last last week, there is one night he missed calling but instead he did text. i did not say anything or complain at all, but it seems that he took it as i approved it.. then he got comfortable doing it.. i know i should let him be comfortable with things he was doing with me, but how about me??? i need to be feeling comfortable too.. i don’t know, maybe we are not really matching, otherwise, things should have gone smoother already, as it has been 2 years..

    i kind of wanted to confront him tonight about this whole texting thing.. but at the same time, i kind of not really want to do it as i just wanted him to call when he feels like it as even though he calls after i complained, then i will take it as he was forced to do so.. but at the same time, if i did not say it, then i will have to be used to his new way of communication..which i do not like.. it shows that he does not give me attention at all.

    i don’t know.. i guess i got lost and insecure again.. oh, question for you, jess. did you ever visit his place yet?? as i haven’t visited yet.. he told me that he might move out soon to a new area that is close to his temple for juadism thing, as people has to walk to church, that is the requirement. then i asked him if i will be invited to his new place if he moves, then he said” yeah, of course.”
    well, so many things.. so many things.. i did not see any progress with my bull. i saw a lot of progesses with your bull during a year of dating.. you got it girl..

    I am happy for you but at the same time, i was wondering it might be because you are meant to be as you are matching with each other, you do not take things personal, you understand him so well..

    Jess, thank you for your comforting words.. as i do need it. but i guess i just did not see a light in my relationship, it seems things are backwarding now.

  1601. #1601 by Jane on March 26, 2010 - 7:29 pm

    Jess

    Hey how wonderful jess, your super duper bull came up trumps!!! Lol You see like we said few weeks back when you said you donโ€™t think he will keep much contact when he is away, well he did it, he sorted it, gave you laptop to make sure of his contact with you!!!
    That is the sweetest thing ever!!! I am so jealous, saggi is too I guess!!!
    I am so happy for you jess, he loves you dearly.
    3months, I am sure you will get a proposal when he gets back as he will be so lived up!! Hee hee.
    You will make it I just know it! WOW how exciting Jess. Oh I know you got your feet firmly on the ground and not assuming anything, I get that, but hey still so exciting.

    Thank you for your lovely words to me Jess, this is so difficult, I do miss him so much and hope in my heart that he will want to contact me, I somehow donโ€™t see it as he knows he upset me and I think that will stop him because he knows I want more than he can give.
    Jess I would like to know your opinion on this in terms of dealing with โ€˜Taurusโ€™ hereโ€ฆif he realises he has feelings for me deeper than he thought before or cared to admit to himself or me, well do you think that he then would for sure make contact?? The reason I ask that, is things I have said in previous posts about why he may not contact me, I am thinking that โ€˜feelingsโ€™ will be the only thing to make him do it, I am remembering stubborn Taurus you see and fear of rejection from me, I donโ€™t know!!

    I have sold ticket for same price!! Upset but I had to do it. As you say if we sort this then I will have more chances to surprise him I guess.

    Jess when you said you blew him off for 10 days no contact, you give in after a week and he took 3 more days after that!!! Goodness, yes you would certainly think by his wonderful response that melted your heart that he would not bare to wait!!! Oh but the Taurus patience and โ€˜my wayโ€™ or โ€˜high wayโ€™ attitude stepped in instead!! I would guess that he knew all along he was going to get in touch with you, he just figuring out when!!!
    This already is the longest week of my life!! Feels like it. It will be a week this Monday that he replied my email, I feel at the moment I need to give it another two weeks after that as last year I contacted him first after 2weeks and he may remember that and wait for me especially as he knows how I feel for him.
    Oh boy, I donโ€™t know if I will be able to do that!!!

    Big hugs to you sweet Jess, glad you are here, your bull will miss you so much!!

  1602. #1602 by Jane on March 26, 2010 - 8:33 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hey saggi I must tell you this, my friend visited me last night and brought me a gift. (Book) โ€˜Men are from mars, women are from Venusโ€™ I have heard so much about this book, maybe you have too but saggi I urge you to get it!!! Really it is so informative and really helps us understand the differences in our relationships men and women!!

    What woman say and what men interpret has been said!! Wow!! It is really helping me put my behaviours and his behaviours into perspective.
    Why men withdraw,
    Why men go quiet,
    Why men take what we say literally,
    Why men wonโ€™t talk,โ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆ. Blah blah

    Really helpful.

    Saggi, bless you it seems your guy is not meeting your expectation, the more you ask him for something the more he doesnโ€™t deliver, you get upset, you hold it inside and then build up the negative feelings you having and feel down when you around him. Saggi, talk to him about how you feel, but remember to talk from a calm place not anger and blame as he will cut you off and not hear you. Show him the feelings you have and how insecure it makes you feel.
    I think the most important thing I try to keep in my mind when I feel that way is to โ€˜ownโ€™ what it is I say, like. โ€˜I feelโ€™ rather than โ€˜you make me feelโ€™ do you see how this could make him feel defensive to you and not listen.

    You have been with him a long time and I think that is why you waiting for things to move forward as I see you compare with Jess and her guy, saggi those feelings are normal and understandable how you communicate it to your guy will be affective in you more likely to get what you want.

    I really do think him texting instead of calling is not because he pulling away, saggi you know as well as I do that if he wanted to pull away he wouldnโ€™t bother with text. He acknowledges it to you apologises and says how โ€˜we still talkโ€™ to him he does not see the problem you see.
    Cheer up saggi, have a lovely time with him when you see him, make him want you even more!!

  1603. #1603 by saggi girl on March 26, 2010 - 9:01 pm

    Jane,

    thanks for your lovely word, it is exactly how i felt that he gave less when i asked more.. i think one thing i am sure is that i am not his priority right now.. his priority is to put his life in order including religion converting and his finance. i guess the difference is that i treat him as my priority but he does not. I think for woman, when we love someone, it is hard for us not to involve them for every decision in our life.. i guess i overvalued the relationship i have with him.. it is too fraustrating for me to talk to him what i want, it seems it does not make any difference. i guess he’s just not feeling necessay to deliver it. all he saw is that what he needs to do to put his life in order..i am just a side girl happened to be in his path..but i took him too serious, i guess.

    i don’t know.. i was talking to my friend last night right after i saw his text message, My girlfriend told me that she thought he was very considerate by explaining to me why he won’t call and even told me to understand him.. but i saw it in a different way..

    i don’t know.. i think we will be really over pretty soon..i mean it. either i can not take it anymore or he can not either.. he might be planing to do it, who knows??

  1604. #1604 by Jane on March 26, 2010 - 9:59 pm

    Saggi girl

    You may be right when you say you may not be his priority right now, as we well know Taurus can not give there all to something or someone they care about when they have other issues/concerns in their mind, so yes you may have a point that he is struggling to focus on you right now but saggi that is where supporting him, being by his side will get you what you want in the end, instead of taking it as indifferent or that he losing interest in you, that is where you can get involved and be there for him.

    You know that he is going to do this regardless, he has made up his mind, he does not want to lose you, I would say he senses your โ€˜uneasy feelingโ€™ toward him and that may be why he not wanting to upset you.

    You are so right saggi when you say how for us women it is so hard for us to not involve the guy in every decision, thatโ€™s what we do, we consider them, put them first show respect, what do they doโ€ฆ??? They get โ€˜self involvedโ€™ wrapped up in their own little world not even relising how we are affected by their lack of (sometimes) understanding!!!
    Men think differently to us, that is fact, I am fast learning that!!

    Saggi, you sayโ€ฆโ€™I am just a side girl happened to be in his pathโ€ฆโ€™ Saggi after 2years I would say you are defiantly not โ€˜a side girlโ€™!!! You only feel that way because you see what he is doing as โ€˜pushing you outโ€™, โ€˜not making adequate space for youโ€™. You said yourself you may not be his priority now, if you love him like I believe you do, then stop with that attitude, pick yourself up, this is YOUR guy, you are his woman and be there for him and your time will come, he will show you that the minute you stop โ€˜expectingโ€™ from him, as I said I do think he will sense it from you. How uneasy you feel around him, he will be thinking he doesnโ€™t know how to please you and become uneasy himself. Saggi, sorry if I sound harsh but I want you to see this for what it is, it is not about you, its about him and what he needs to do for himself right now, if he didnโ€™t see you in this with him down the line he would not be sticking around. Give him reason to plan for you too if that is what you truly want. You know how self centered these guys are, you cant shift his focus, only he can do thatโ€ฆ.!!

  1605. #1605 by saggi girl on March 26, 2010 - 10:18 pm

    Jane,

    thanks for taking time to think about my situation and comforting me when you have something on the side, i really hoped we live closer, so we can talk whenever we want and we give each other strength when we were being beat down..

    I guess it is what it is, right now he was focusing on himself and struggling to focus on me.. if i want him in the long run, then i have to offer my support…but it is really hard. I felt like i am like an air for him right now… but at the same time, he wants to show me that he was thinking about me by texting??? i don’t know. i will try to understand him more.. i don’t know if i can do it, Jane.. i know what you are saying, but it is really hard for me to support or love unconditionally if he can not love me in return..i guess it was just me..

    I will read the book tonight as i just downloaded from internet to see if i can learn anything from it…

    thans Jane.. we can talk as i have internet at home now..Just post to me if you have any concern or any hardship during the weekend.. as i plan to stay in

  1606. #1606 by saggi girl on March 27, 2010 - 7:05 am

    Jane,

    i was really upset and hurt.. right now it is 1:17am in the morning on saturday.. i spoke with my bull a few hours ago and he called me around 10:25pm and he told me that his teeth was being pulled and he felt better today.. he went out with a guy from work for a couple of beer.. then he briefly told me that he will call later and was not sure if we can see each other on sunday or not, then i was like it is ok if we can not see each other on sunday and you do not have to make effort if you can not see me, then he was like” thanks baby for your understanding…” then he asked if i was ok, i said ” yeah but i just want to let you know that how i felt..i think the communication is very important for a relationship but i do not think we are having it now.. i am not demanding anything from you, as i know you are busy with your work.but lacking of commucation will drift us apart.. since we do not see each other very often..” then he was like” oh, i know, but i tried my best.. we will work it out.. thanks for sharing that with me..i will try. ok? but right now, i need to go to sleep..I miss you.” but i felt like he does not care about what i said, as he kept telling me that he tried his best, he needs to go to sleep.. he will call to see if he will have time for me on sunday.. after he said that, i was really upset and did not think he really get what i have said seriously.. then i said” i have last question for you.” then he was like” be quick.” then i was like” you are so busy right now with your work and your religion. what do you expect me to do?” then he blew off right away, said” it was not a question at all.. you can do whatever you want. as i need to go to sleep now.. good night.” then i said” good night.” then he hung up on me.. then an hour latei was still mad and then i sent him a text message like:” i am really upset right now and we haven’t been talked for a few days, is that what i got? your harsh word and how you responde to me is insulting and rude. i think i am a good girlfriend trying to give you the space you needed especially right now with your religion thing and busy schedule. even though i said something you do not want to hear, shouldn’t i deserve the respect and patience from you?” he did not responde at all, i think he was probably mad at me sending it to interrupt his sleep.

    Jane, i thought for a few hours before i was posting this to you, i think i have chasing a ghost…something does not belong to me.. when i am in a relationship, i can be independent but at the same time i desire the closeness from my partner.. but i just do not think that i am getting it from him and also do not think he value the same thing in a relationship. i do not think i was being needed by him at all. he is too independent for me.. i was craving the closeness with my partner, but he just have a wall put up between me and him.. it has been 2.5 years and i do not think i got the closeness i wanted.. sometimes, i felt like that he is like a stranger to me.. i just do not know why he needed me.. he was busy with his work, and right now was trying to convert to another religion.. i just do not think he has room for me to fit in.. i was trying very hard to fit in, but he just does not care at all..

    i wanted to be treated like a priority in my partner’s life like how i treated him… but i just do not think i will get it from him now.. it has been too long…our relationship is just nonmovable… i do not think it has something to do with me, i think it was just that he was not ready for a person to fit into his life..he is very ok on his own..he always said that he tried his best.. but if that is his best, then i don’t think i will be happy for his socalled best.. if that is his best, what else i can expect?? i just do not think he wanted to try to make me happy as deep inside he was so full of himself.. i just felt that if i am happy and caring, then he can love me back, but when i was upset or something else negative, he will just shut down or walk out the door.. being in a relationship, i do not think he is ready to deal with my badness, but i am sure that i will have a lot of badness going forward as that is who i am..

    I am almost to the point to quit..i know it will be painful but i just do not want to chase a ghost anymore.. i hate myself for the fact that i am here all the time as it means that i am not happy. if i am not happy, why i stayed?? because of love?? love needs to be 2 way street.. your partner should give too..but i think what i have is one sided love from myself…
    he never intiatively said that he loves me..it was always the scenario when we had a fight or i demand something, he will say” i do love you but …” i am tired of but, should i deserve to be loved??

    Jane, i am really exhausted…i am done. i don’t think he is the right person for me..what i am getting out of him, money? sex? caring? time? commitment? no, i am getting nothing…all i got after 2.5 years is unsure of me even though i swallowed all his selfishness… i was always there for him, when he needed financial support like a year ago, i lent him money, it was not a small amount, i did not rush him to return until today.. he always say that he will return, but it has been over a year, he did not do anything about it yet.. i guess that might be the reason he kept me around in case he needs financial help again..

    i do not want to force him anymore, i just never experienced in my life after 2 years of dating, i still have to beg for his time…i don’t think he was ready for a relationship even though he gave me the title of girlfriend, well, it was my fault, i asked if he was my boyfriend in a text, then he said yes.. i think i was forcing him to do something he does not want to do..

    i was telling my coworker how often we talked and how often we see each other, they do not even believe it.. i never visited his place..
    well, sorry, forgive me to ramble this much..but i was really hurt and tired..i wasted my 2.5 years of time to chase a ghost, my fault..i guess i should have quitted long time ago, but i did not. but it seems that i have face the truth that he was not really for a relationship.. but i am.. i want to be treated like a priority in someone’s life but i am not getting it.

    i am done.. i am not going to answer his call anymore even text..i will give myself one month or two months of not communicating with him… then i think i would be able to move on.. wish me luck. i do need it.

  1607. #1607 by Jane on March 27, 2010 - 8:47 am

    Saggi girl

    Hey my dear saggi, you sound very upset, reading in between the lines of all you said, it is clear how โ€˜pushed asideโ€™ and โ€˜taken for grantedโ€™ you are feeling.

    Saggi of course it is such a horrible experience to have those feelings when it is someone you love so much, I understand I truly do but the big question here first of all is, are you prepared to support him while he his doing โ€˜himselfโ€™? I do think you are absolutely right in feeling as you do and the lack of communication between you both is for sure not helping.
    I can see also how you are trying to tell him that and he for the moment is choosing to not see it, I mean yes he was tired and maybe bad timing so you could try again a different time.

    Reading your post upset me as I see myself in hearing how your feeling and what you say feel like you, wanting priority, consideration, thought, respect too for sure. I relate very well to how you explain your need in relationship, to be independent and at same time have closeness from your partner.
    Saggi for what it is worth I do think your words to him where totally fine and what you have needed to say, I would say he will have heard all you said to him and he does sound busy and in a rush and you are right to be expecting so much more from him at this stage in your relationship. It seems he is not ready at the moment to move things forward with you at the moment but that is only because to him โ€˜you are thereโ€™ โ€˜his ladyโ€™ all the other things are materialistic and to him need working on now. You are taking this as a personal disregard to you and while it is understandable you would feel that way, it is not about you. I know your need reassurance from him that everything will be ok so youโ€™re not feeling like you are a โ€˜chasing ghostโ€™ wow interesting expression!! Never heard that before.

    I think from all you have said, he is focussed on other things that are equally important to him and his mistake is he is making you feel less important and you do not deserve that. He is a self centred Taurus that can not be moved when they have a focus on something of importance I guess for you saggi its whether you are able to continue being in the back ground for now until he gets where it is he is going to then bring you along with him.

    Saggi I do not know if I have this correct but I was thinking reading your post that it seems the events of past couple of months, Judaism thing ect is just the โ€˜last strawโ€™ if you know what I mean, like you have not felt truly happy way before all this!!?? I know you have had upset from family comments which doesnโ€™t help, but it sounds like your โ€˜chasing ghostโ€™ theory has been around for a while. I guess the timing of him pursuing this new religion venture is a little off for you and come along at a time when you needed more focus on your relationship. Just my thought saggi, I understand you fully.

    I do think as you only see each other one time week makes things harder for you both especially if one of those weeks plans change. I can see how that makes you feel pushed aside too but saggi I think you are right to take a step back for now, do nothing until you feel calm and a little clearer on how you feel because you do not want to be hasty and regret any decision you make too soon.

    You have told him how you feel, he needs to stop being a โ€˜self involvedโ€™ bull now and pay you little attention, give him time to take in what you have said to him, I wouldnโ€™t ignore him though if he gets in touch, just keep it sweet and brief reply and wait until you see him to talk openly and calmly about how things are for you. I am sure it wont be a shock to him as he knows you and what you expect and I would guess that is why he has been doing things differently because he senses your upset with him. You know how these โ€˜bullshit bullsโ€™ hate confrontation!! Calm is the only way to go, to get results with them anyway!!
    You sayโ€ฆโ€™I do not want to force him anymoreโ€™โ€ฆ saggi you know very well you could not foresee a Taurus even if you tried!!! His way or no way!!! You know how it goes!!

    Saggi, do not be hard on yourself, take your time to think this through, you would be saying all this to me right!!?? No rush for anything, this is our life and your situation so you take the control and decide for โ€˜youโ€™ just donโ€™t do anything yet until you have calmed down and feel clearer in your head.

    All the stress I guess sometimes us lovely ladies would be better off single!!! Lol well I guess I am, but you know what I mean!!

    Saggi I will be back later, I am happy to hear you are around this weekend (unless your bull changes things!) donโ€™t be too down saggi, read that book, I hope it helps and gives you some insight. Chin up, you will be ok.
    Hugs x

  1608. #1608 by Jess on March 27, 2010 - 9:42 am

    saggi girl,

    I’m sorry I’m a bit confused as I don’t see anything wrong about him? except that he text more instead of calling, but basically saggi girl he contact you EVERYDAY?!

    About his new religion, because it’s a new concept that he bring into life , that without you in it and without your decision?! and now it takes part of his time away from you.

    Saggi girl, you can’t fight against human nature. Most of the men are working hard and go out of their ways working hard to get the girl that include calling and gifts and sweet words. Girls also go out of their way to dress up and look beautiful and tolerate anything a guy she is interested might be. Up until they get together and get more calm and stable they slide back to their lazy ass being the real them. The point is to slide back to oneself doesn’t mean the person does not love you anymore but its a nature like water always fall run down. In your case I see he is very attentive and try to keep in touch with you on a daily basis which is nice actually. But if you are not happy with the quality of his contact you should talk to him like a mature adult. Remember try not to use emotion too much when you talk about this matter to a guy because you want him to listen to you.

    A guy doesn’t need constant contact to assure that a woman love him but a girl does,

    A guy just need to know his girl is there for him and he can go without constant contact as long as he knows she is there and he will see when he wants to.

    It’s the different of men and women like emotional vs logical. Now if the gap is too wide, you need to compromise. You can only achieve that by talking and handling thing like adult.

  1609. #1609 by saggi girl on March 27, 2010 - 11:55 am

    Jess,

    I am handling things like an adult, but he won’t listen.. whatever i have said, he just took it as not a big deal.. whatever i say, he will tell me that he tried his best.. was that the best he tried by being distant?

    the thing upset me most is that i am always the one looking forward to seeing him, i am always the one looking forward to hearing from him.. but after 2.5 years, when things were supposed to going forward to be closer to each other, instead, things are going backward by calling less and seeing each other less.. one thing i hate most is the tone he was using, it is always like that i have to wait for him to see me..he will make a decision if he is going to see me…especially when we did not talk this week until friday, when he called last night, he was starting like” oh, i called you as i promised to call…i went out with coworker for a couple of beers.” when he called, i might sleep already, as he knows that i normally sleep before 10pm.. but he chose to call after 10pm because he has to go for a beer.. we haven’t talked for a week, but it sounds to me that he is ok..and continually told me that he might not be able to see me…” why it is always him deciding where i can fit..if you miss somebody like he said he did, then you should make time to call or to see that person…

    i wasn’t his priority before, but right now, he added one more thing to it, then i was falling even more behind….

    I don’t know how you worked with your guy, but for my relationship, it was always what he wanted to eat, which movie he wanted to see.. which day is going to be available for him.., i was always the one waiting to be directed and then i have to follow, otherwise, i probably won’t see him..

    it seems that i always have to compromise..if i did not, then the things can not go smoothly..

  1610. #1610 by saggi girl on March 27, 2010 - 11:58 am

    also if i was not happy with this arrangement, he will be like” i am sorry, that is the way it is..i tried my best..” did you really what i am talking about??

  1611. #1611 by saggi girl on March 27, 2010 - 12:14 pm

    Jane,

    thanks for your response and i did not sleep well last night.. right now it is 7am in the morning.. my guy friend asked me to see his newly bought condo and give him some idea how he needs to decorate.. i was supposed to go with one of my girlfriends… i do not know if i need to cancel.. as i feel really bad.

    Jane, i just kept thinking how much he was attentive to his life in regard to what he needs to do… i just felt hurt that he does not even think that i was being put on the backburner because of this.. when there is a chance to see each other when it was already very little time for both of us, he took it away from it.. then he tell me that he misses me… what kind of theory was that?? when i confronted him, he told me that he tried his best.. what kind of excuse was that??

    Like last weekend, he told me that he might not be able to see me, then i adjusted myself to it..then all of the sudden, he told me that he can see me but only for a few hours… why he sounds so arrogant when it comes to spending time with me.. then i have to take it, if not, i won’t be able to see him…

    actually i found out later that he did not have church schedule on that day..he just need to do some reading for his job and his religion.. and do his laundry.. what kind of excuse was that when he told me that he can not see me in the first place.. he told me that he won’t have time to see me as he would be busy. then it turned out that he can have time for a few hours.. what i am to him?? a babydoll?? when he has time, i have to be all happy and welcome him with my hug… thank you him for seeing me?? after 2 and half years??

    a couple after 2 and half years, they were supposed to see each other more than once a week.. but right now, things went backward with even less call and less time to see me??how should i take it?? he was not feeling sorry about it at all… he thought i was supposed to take it as a gift if he can squeez some time for me, but he won’t think that he gave less time than it was supposed to be..

    sorry for rambling, i have no direction in my head.. i was just trying to make a point..i don’t know if i make it clear or not.. as it seems to jess, it was ok for him to behave like that. i got confused..

  1612. #1612 by Scorpiolady on March 28, 2010 - 2:56 am

    I just got done with a couple month relationship with a Taurus man. What a nut case. LOL Sounds just like all of your guys. I think he just wanted my money because when he needed it he was right here front and center. Not really in person though was always too busy more like on the computer and calling me all of the time saying all kinds of sweet things all of a sudden. NUT! Good thing I didn’t give him any money.

  1613. #1613 by Scorpiolady on March 28, 2010 - 3:41 am

    Ok ladies Iโ€™ve read enough and yes I am laughing not at you though just about the situations here. This Taurus nut that I was involved with lived with me for a few months then one night he pissed me off so I raised my voice at him and said some not so nice things. Now I didnโ€™t yell I just raised my voice and the following Monday he moved out and didnโ€™t even tell me he was moving. Said he was in fear for his life ROFLMAO seriously now I didnโ€™t even scream; Iโ€™m 5โ€™1โ€ and heโ€™s 6โ€™2โ€ and I only weigh 120 lbs. and he was in fear for his life. I think it was he was more like in fear of saying he was in love with me verses just loves me. He would say really stupid stuff like, โ€œI think itโ€™s ok for men to look at other women even when they are in a relationshipโ€ or โ€œMy friend and I have this mutual girlfriend sheโ€™s heavy set but has a beautiful faceโ€ Iโ€™m thinking and why are you telling me this crap. This man has major financial problems, has ED at 38 from watching too much porn, has heath issues, drinks every damn day and who knows what else really. I guess he thought I would stick around just in case he couldnโ€™t find someone else. NOT I am not really sure what these Taurus men are all about, but in my book if a man is interested he wonโ€™t play silly childish mind games. Iโ€™m a very pretty woman and very financially set and the last thing I need or want is some man who thinks itโ€™s ok to play mind games with women. Ask yourself this question ladies after you get him if you ever do donโ€™t you think you will have some resentment for having to put up with his shit; I would because I have way too much self respect and way too much to lose. I was actually looking to see if these men use women for money when I came across this sight. He’s the first taurus I dated and hopefully the last.

  1614. #1614 by Jane on March 28, 2010 - 11:07 am

    Saggi, Jess

    Oh my god I am not doing well at all!!! I am feeling weak like I want to get in touch with him. I feel during this past week I am understanding the situation a whole lot better and want to tell him. The thing is for all I know he may have moved on already and I donโ€™t know if he would want to hear from me or not, my friend has been telling me when he is on dating site and when he is not and I keep thinking, well he must be over me to be continuing with that, its like he doesnโ€™t care or something!!?? I thought or rather hoped he would be thinking about me.

    Please advice me what you think, I have read his email over and over and as he saying he taking step back for me to contact him, I think that is telling me that he has no intentions of contacting me!!??

    I am afraid that if I get in touch he will think my email meant nothing and that I will put up with things even if it upsets me, I thought him contacting me would let me know he cares.
    It is only a week today since I sent it, I feel so upset today, a different upset though its like a โ€˜lossโ€™ feeling wanting to talk things through with him.

    If I was to get chance to talk/email him then it would simply to say I understand the site thing and my hurt was 1. I didnโ€™t know, 2.I felt we where working towards something and I now realise he does not want that. I guess I cant bare the thought of him feeling I donโ€™t understand him or that I am abandoning him especially how far we have come and shared together, I am seeing he made a mistake I want him to know I forgive that and I suppose I would like to know his intentions with me/dating site if we continued.
    Do you think it is too soon for me to get a positive response if I get one at all? I am feeling raw so I donโ€™t want my judgement clouded, I want to do the best thing for me right now and would so much appreciate your help.

    I was out last night for my sisters โ€˜hen nightโ€™ before her wedding and a guy was asking me to dance with him and it of course was not the guys fault but I just could not, it did not feel right to me, not because of loyalty to my bull but because of where he is in my heart!!
    I hope you saggi and jess are ok, saggi are you seeing your guy today, are you feeling any better? Jess how about you, has your laptop been busy since he left!! Hope you both ok xx

  1615. #1615 by Jess on March 28, 2010 - 12:40 pm

    Jane,

    These men got a lot more patient than us. I’m a sucker on this area, I do what my heart desire but I take cautious step. I know how it feels ‘loss’ feelings, I was not able to function properly during my breaking off period that was when I realized I rather put up with his manipulating manner than losing him. Jane, if you can may be hang in for couple more days to text him something simply….that you hope he is fine and that you been thinking about him lately and hope that he can make some time to meet as you want to talk. It’s simple direct and not so much emotion and when you mention about meeting to talk its like an offer to reconcile so if he is waiting for your sign he will take it. I use around that context when i texted my guy after a week of no contact. Don’t mention about how you understand him about the dating website because you don’t LOL. Let him explain it to you.

    Well Jane, its been 3 days since he is gone I have not heard anything from him. I’m (still) cool… lol. I know he doesn’t buy me this laptop so that we can chat. He knew I never had one for myself and he always said he wants me to own one. I think of how Taurus select practical gift for their girlfriends and I agree it’s true. Also I kinda have a feeling he is going to make me work with him like I said before he is indirectly force me to agree on this. Now that I have my own laptop its easier for me to work with him…

    Scorpiolady,

    Hey a guy that is after money is not cool at all! He also sounds childish about moving out just because you raised your voice… Good that you can pull yourself back in short time before getting more involved!

  1616. #1616 by Jess on March 28, 2010 - 1:27 pm

    Ok, my SuperBull just text me now, that it’s cold where he is but he is doing alright and enjoying his marijuana..LOL!!!

    saggi girl,

    May be I get used to not having so much contact from my guy that I don’t see problem in yours. I think most people who heard about your story would think that your guy is alright while you are looking at it different way. May be it was much better before?

    Do you think the reason he doesn’t spend enough time with you lately may be he is also busy and may be he wants some time alone for self contemplation to think thing over? (after the last time he told you to see for 6 months?) because from what you said most of the time it was you who will ask him to do things for you and who will ask him first if he loves you. May be he wanted to feel it by himself. I don’t know may be I analyze too much, may be he just being ignorance of your need and can be easily fixed by sitting him down and talk to him.

    But saggi girl you need to calm down first and get some rest as you sound very tired.

  1617. #1617 by saggi girl on March 28, 2010 - 1:31 pm

    Jane,

    it is in my expectation that you won’t hear from him in the first week, if you guys just have a simple fight, he will be in contact with you either call or text, but your story is different, you broke up with him, that will take longer time for him to think. He knows what you want, he needs to make a decision what he is going to do with you when he initiate the contact, as a “friend: as he suggested?but you did not call him, then it means that you do not want to be friend, as a “girlfriend’?, then he’s not ready for that.. continue to date cacuaslly? how he is going to continue.. i think there are a lot of things going through his mind right now. you know bulls are like to think and analyze things, sometimes, over analyze the issue like us.LoL

    i think at this point, you have to wait, as you said, if you initiate the contact, it might mean that you are ok to be his friend even though we know what it means.

    your friend told you that he was still on site checking sometimes, let him be.. i would think he needs to realize himself that what he has been missing, sometimes, things are too easy to get won’t make him cherish. he will take it for granted.. like my guy. i made things to easy for him, confessed my love, spoil him with gift, take whatever the time he has available for me..
    let him come back to you, then you won’t get confused later in the journey, otherwise, you will confuse for the rest of your journey with him when things do not go smoothly, you will think, oh, does he really want to be with me? or because i reach out to him first…you know what i mean? i don’t know if you will feel this way, but as for me, i will be like that.

    Jane, i got confused with bull vs man, i felt like it might be the case that he is just not that into me.. then deep inside i know it, but instead, i went around with bull theroy to give him the excuse, so i can tell myself that he loves me..i don’t know.. i felt like if a man loves a woman, he won’t want anyone else, he will want to spend time with you and he will want to gift you..i don’t know, i might be wrong.

    this morning, when i woke up, i thought about “action speaks louder than word”, then i checked back about his action, does he spend a lot of time with me? no! does he spoil me with gift? No! does he say he loves me? No, unless i asked. so, i think it might be the case that he is just not that into me..

    no, I am not going to see him today.he did not contact me at all since the text message i sent to him on friday night.. he will be going to the class this morning.. after i complained about his text(i said it was cute, but periodically call is necessary too), he did not even text.. see, what kind of action was that?? it does speak something..

    i was talking to my girlfriend yesterday, she told me to move on.. but do not need to break up with him.. just treat him as a regular friend, so this way i won’t have expectation and i won’t get lost in the process, i won’t upset if he did not meet the expectation..

    i am trying to connect 0 expectation with him.. my girlfriend told me to think like a single now.. do not think he is your boyfriend.. I think Jess did very well on this one, she does not expect and has been staying calm, so his guy feels comfortable and nonpressured, then he voluntarily want to do something for her, that must feel great on both sides..my problem is i always expect, when he did not my expectation, i upset and hurt and then tell him what my expectation is and ask him to imporve.. then he took it as a pressure and did not do it at all or ended up doing it with an attitude.. then it deepen my disappointment.. but i guess i was so used to be taken care of, so used to be spoiled by man..he is just different or he is just not that into me..

    Jane, stay put.. i will be home whole day, we can communicate online, so this way, the day passed quicker..
    hugs and kisses.

  1618. #1618 by saggi girl on March 28, 2010 - 1:57 pm

    Jess,

    i am glad that your superbull called, at least there is one succeesful story on this site..

    i got what you are saying, it might be true that he wants to distant himself from me to think things over. who knows? but for me, i did not complain when he did in this kind of format of communication 2 weeks ago for the first round, he’s like in contact every day through text except thursday he would call.. i did not say anything until i saw him last weekend as i told myself that at least he was in contact with me everyday.. it was amazing.. as before he will be like calling nearly every other nights.. sometimes, he would text if he did not call for that night.. so i was so used to this routine. but there are times i did not get text from him at all when he did not call..but i don’t know, it might be a progress from the point of view of a 3rd party, but for me, i do not know it seems backward for me.. i think it might be true that i was over sensitive to all those contact thing.. i think deep inside that i felt things are weird is that we normally see each other on sundays, we do not have to communicate on that, as sunday will be our time.. i know it, so i did not get over sensitive on this contact thing, but most recently, he will tell me that he is not sure if he can make it, he will let me know, it kinds of going back to the way when we first dated ( no expection of confirmed routine date)..so, that is why, i felt like that he was going backward.. i don’t know if you understand this or not..do you?

    It might be true that he need to be busy with this judiasm thing, i can see that he took it very seriously, so it seems that i was not that important when it compares to the judiasm thing, he will be like when it gets conflict, he always back me up…and go for that priority..

    that is why, when he tells me that he might not be able to see me this weekend due to the judiasm thing, i was really disappointed. my friend always told me to support him when it comes to something important for him.. i dont know.. Jess, if you were me, how you would handle it? you are such a wise person to me and you are very reaonable.. and always in a calm manner.. so, jess, how you would handle it??
    how often you see your bull before?? more than once a week right??

  1619. #1619 by Jess on March 28, 2010 - 2:33 pm

    saggi girl,

    Yes like your friend said if it’s something important to him, you should support him. It will take patient because that thing will take away his time from you, and it will take a lot more understanding but it will pay off. I’m sure he will notice it and won’t forget but his busy mind and life will take him a while till he got a change to return you a favor one day. I’m not telling you to expect this to happen but I think you knew it also that these Taurus men (if you believe your guy fall into the same category) keep record and notice little things, they just don’t say it and they just don’t show you they appreciate it but they pay off later when there is a chance.

    Before I got a title as a girlfriend, you would not believe I only seen him like once in 2-3 weeks! hahaha. It started from June last year that he started to get into more with me and start getting me to join him trips but we still see each other like once in 2 weeks but I tried to stay a night with him so we got weekend together. We don’t talk on the phone as you know and only chat like once a month. The only connection we keep everyday is by text and chat message (I don’t get online during the day so he will drop me some messages and I will see it when I get home and reply him, if he was not too busy or miss me too much he will chat right away) Now that I’m his girlfriend, the pattern is still the same except that I can feel he involved me more in his life and decision. He wants me to share more with him about my feelings and my everyday life.

    You see saggi girl, I have way less contact than you but for me the amount of contact doesn’t mean so much. Because every time when we are in touch especially when we meet I know and feel it everything is there, it makes me feel happy and content and I can go on with my life without worry about having to contact him or wondering why he not contact me. So basically he safe me from grief LOL!

    This is ok for me as I’m quite an independent person myself. I’m also not a big fan of phone talking… I don’t like seeing my boyfriend too often for me I think once or maximum twice a week is good. If you keep your relationship too tight or too close you run out of the thrill and passion too soon. I don’t know may be I’m more like a Taurus myself…

  1620. #1620 by Jess on March 28, 2010 - 2:37 pm

    sorry i mean we chat like once a week…

  1621. #1621 by saggi girl on March 28, 2010 - 3:16 pm

    jess,

    wow, i did not realize that you did not see each other that often. i thought you saw your bull more often that i did..you are such an independent person yourself and i think that is part of your charm that got your bull dizzy(you know what i mean, right) everytime he saw you..

    I guess i have to be more independent if i still want to stay around with my bull. But, Jess, i was so jealous whenever i went out with my girlfriend, and when i saw couples on the street with affection, then i will think about myself, where is my bull?? he was out somewhere without me.. i don’t know, then i will feel sad. and also especially when people talk about how often they see each other and how often you are supposed to see each other.. they normally say if a guy is serious with you, they will want to see you all the time, you will be spending time almost every day or at least the entire weekends.. my friend was really surprised why i only got to see my bull on sundays.. why he did not come to see me after work.. something like that.. then i thought it is true that it has been 2 years, we still stick to the same dating routine… i do not know, do you understand what i am trying to say??
    i guess i shoudn’t complain about how often my bull contacts me.. yeah, at least, he contacts me everyday, right?? I don’t know, i think something is wrong with me… when my bull text me on last thursday night that he can not call because his mouth is sore and asked me to understand him that he can not call on that night, i thought he was lying.. then i found out on friday when he finally called and he got two teeth pulled out.. then i realized, i might have trust issue..

    do you think something wrong with me?? i guess i am not a really understanding person… he has not called and texted.. he probably wont contact me anymore..

    thanks Jess. you always made us calm.

  1622. #1622 by Jess on March 28, 2010 - 3:55 pm

    saggi girl,

    I truly understand you. I was that girl whose other girls got jealous before and I was also that girl who got jealous seeing how others are having their boyfriends by their side always. My experience told me it’s not what it shows but its what you know what you feel. NEVER listen too much what people generalize on how it should be if a guy is serious with you? There is no rule to pin that down.

    I’m not telling you to accept it and be happy with the time your guy have for you. You can not compare with me and see that wow Jess got much less time so I’m still doing OK. The relationship is about the 2 person. If you are not happy because you want more then work it out with him but if you want more because you think that is the way to prove he is into you then I don’t agree.

    Of course I want more from my guy, more often to see him, and more contact from him. But now what I’m having already makes me feel happy and I already felt he is with me. And I know as long as I keep him happy and happier, he will slowly wants more than he thought and start to work his way closer to me in the future. Why making a fuss about not enough time to see him when you will have all the time together in the future if everything work out your way!

  1623. #1623 by Jess on March 28, 2010 - 4:03 pm

    saggi girl,

    I tell you some funny thing, I made a sarcastic to him one time about us only connect by text that if i was in an accident like got hit by a car and need him to help, how could he know or do i still need to take out my phone and try to text him??!! You know what he said, he replied, ‘if you are still alive and good enough to be able to text me you should better get yourself to a hospital”……….

    I know he didn’t only say it out of fun but he meant it! He explained, not everyday that major accident would happen to you, and not everyday that you need moral support but if ever you are in trouble or need me you know its easy to just let me now and you know that I must help you. Strange but it sounds right and realistic to me and it keeps me warm in heart. (even i know if i ever got hit i should get myself to a doctor instead of texting him…LOL!)

  1624. #1624 by saggi girl on March 28, 2010 - 4:29 pm

    Jess,

    it was really funny about the “car accident comment”. actually my guy said the same thing, how alike they are..Jesus.

    my case is a little bit different, but the comment from my guy is similar to yours. one time, i complained to him that he was not there for me when i need him like bug problem or small things.. then he was like” it really depends.. if that is a very serious issue, no matter what i was doing, i would drop it in a second, i will be there for you.. but if it is something you can handle on your own, i won’t drop my thing in the middle when i know you will be ok.. that is how i am.”

    sometimes, i felt why he is so cold.. sometimes, i just need moral support that he is pyshcially there for me even though that is a small thing.. but he gave this comment showing that he will be there for me when he thinks it is a urgent thing, he won’t drop things that he is busy with to just accomodate to be there over small things no matter how bad you needed. I think he really likes a independent woman who can carry herself very well.. be mature and not being dramatic.. but i think i was not like that..

    so, that is why sometimes i think i was not the right one for him.. he was probably knowing that.. that is why he was so hesitant with this whole commitment thing.. but at the same time, i think he might like some of other qualities i have, that is why he still stays around..

    Jess, i got what you are saying.. do not compare with other people. compare it within the relationship and see if i am truly happy with the arrangement. but do not make it solely based on proving a theory..I got that.

    thanks Jess. you are truly a friend… i am so grateful that i met you here.. i hope i can learn more from you.. so shameful, that i am older than you for a few years but so many years behind you on a maturity level.

  1625. #1625 by Jane on March 28, 2010 - 6:28 pm

    Saggi girl, jess

    Hi to you both, I am thinking I have missed out today in the girly โ€˜bullโ€™ chats you have had!! Ah I had my friend visit me most of the day, I was discussing my bull with her, and she says I should get back on dating site and forget him!! I canโ€™t do that as I love him.I know saggi and jess you understand where I am coming from, talking to you helps me so much. I donโ€™t know how things are going to turn out, but my contact/friendship with you both is important to me.

    Thank you both for you kind response to me. I laughed jess when you said to not tell him I understand dating thing as โ€˜I donโ€™tโ€™ lol Well I do more now than I did. I can understand that he has been in a different place to me in our relationship and is mistake towards me has been leading me to believe we working towards something. Thatโ€™s the part I am struggling with. Thinking this from his point of view, as he feeling โ€˜not readyโ€™ for anything with me, he wont see the harm in the site and I understand that part. I have been thinking hard, I will leave it a while longer (although increasingly harder day by day) saggi you are right, because of my situation with him it is different and I need for him to have a chance to miss me, it is only a week since I sent email. My fear is starting to kick in that I wont see him again.

    When I have been thinking of sending email to him I was thinking of keeping it simple, not mentioning whats happened except to say or suggest to him that I miss him and would like to be โ€˜friendsโ€™ still but I mean REALLY FRIENDS, not the bull shit version!!! That way there will be no misunderstandings, I get to keep him in my life this way and tell him that I too will join dating site. I am thinking I am not sure how he will take that but I know I cant go back to how I was with him, with him on that site and me โ€˜waiting for him to be readyโ€™ I would just hate for me to be thinking we working to something and he dating others, if we had โ€˜friendsโ€™ status then we would be more casual relationship. Do you understand what I mean!? Of course I would love for him to say we as we where and he not on site!! Somehow I donโ€™t see that happening!! My head feels like mush!!

    I keep seeing he still on dating site and I know you are right I should just let that be, I am trying!! Miss him so much, he cant have forgotten me already!!

    Jess, if I ask him to meet or a talk I think he would run a mile!! Part of me feels he has moved on as he always on site, but I guess I need to know for sure!?!

    Jess it is so lovely the understanding you and your bull have between you, lack of contact ect, you just know everything is fine, it works. As saggi said one success story here at least!! I do think this time apart will connect you stronger overall Jess as it is tough times and a lot of work for you both. The way you are with each other suits you both which is why things work so well, you totally understand him and as you said, I agree, you are very like Taurus!! In your thinking anyway!! Lol

    Saggi you are so like me and get insecure if things change or you notice a difference, we should both take a leaf out of jessโ€™s book and โ€˜chillโ€™!!lol
    So I am thinking maybe jess like Taurus in her thinking and you and me saggi like Taurus in we donโ€™t like change!! Goodness!!!

  1626. #1626 by Jane on March 28, 2010 - 6:55 pm

    Saggi girl

    Your bull โ€˜being there for youโ€™ reminded me of how โ€˜solution orientatedโ€™ these bulls are. If I ever had problem or explained a concern to him his response was always to โ€˜fixโ€™ it. Like I explained something to him how I had arranged something with a family member, gone out of my way to do something and I was upset at her response to me and when I told my bull he said, โ€˜ well, you just let her do it herself next timeโ€™!! Although he thinking he being helpful, I just wanted โ€˜consolingโ€™ like, โ€˜hey babes you did your best, that is all you can doโ€™. That would have been a much more supportive response but I guess he was thinking how he could prevent me being hurt again!!

    Saggi I agree sometimes they are not fully their with their support, and do appear โ€˜coldโ€™ and not interested and I take it personally sometimes and then realise it is just the crazy bull way!!

  1627. #1627 by saggi girl on March 28, 2010 - 7:11 pm

    Jane,

    i don’t think you should email him for now to let him know that you wan to be real friend and will be on the dating site too. do not let him know what you are going to do, that is my sense. do not make a mistake that i made before as i was always like an open book to him.

    sometimes, we need to be mysterious( might be wrong spelling. LOL)..you know what i mean?

    do not reach out yet, give it another week to see what he is going to do, as based on jess’s theory, they are slow to think….they are the turtle.

    i know it is hard to not hear anything from the person you deeply loved especially you are afraid that you are going to lose that person for ever.. then we thought that is our duties to let the other person know that we are still here waiting.. but i would think leave it as it is now.. as things won’t change in a second..patience is the gold..

    give him a chance to miss you, give youself a chance to know what is really going on.. if he does not reach you eventually, it means that he will not anyways..

    my guy always told me that you got to fight for love..i guess it is their theory when it comes to love..so no worry, if he really wants to be with you, he will come back in no time once he realized what he missed.. you got to give him the chance to do it..

    my guy was back into contact after 3 weeks of no communication, but thing from our part is not to expect. as i did not expect that he will contact me again after what he said to me… i have already started talking to another guy even though no chemistry was found,but i have already calmed down and determined to move on.. then all of the sudden,he was back in contact.. when we finally saw each other, when he left, he told me that he missed me a lot…

    right now, i think i need to expect things less… as i believe when you did not expect anything, it will happen. like Jess, she did not expect anything like her birthday gift.. his guy surprised her in a very romantic way.. Jane, expect less, you will get more..

    from now on, prepared in a mindset to move on.. yeah, your friend is right,going to the dating site, i know you know where your heart is, but you need to try to distract yourself..

    be good.

  1628. #1628 by Jane on March 28, 2010 - 7:56 pm

    Saggi girl

    Sweet saggi, you made me cry!! Oh in a lovely way, you make me feel so much better, thank you.
    I guess you are very right to not let him now if I have a plan, yes mysterious is the way. I feel deep down that my reasoning for saying all that in email is to protect myself from his rejection so that way I am deciding fate of relationship already!!

    I love him, want to be with him and I am listening to you and jess as you so right I must give this time, goodness I did think I was getting better with patience!! I guess not!! Lol

    Saggi when your guy saidโ€ฆโ€™you got to fight for loveโ€™ do you think he was talking from his bull side and that he expects a girl to fight for him if she wants him?? You see my guy has said in the past that he believes in โ€˜fateโ€™ and if something is meant to happen then it will, but I think as well that is true but sometimes you must โ€˜work/push for things to happen and not always leave things to fate!!??

    I think you are right saggi that if he does not reach me eventually, then he wasnโ€™t anyway. So hard to think of that but I realise it is true. The way we where, the closeness the moving forward I know in my heart that all that was present within us both so for that reason it would break my heart to think it all meant nothing!!
    Thank you for being so supportive to me, I appreciate it more than you could ever know. I laughed what you said about your maturity level, hey saggi I am older than you and jess, so my dear, what on earth does that tell you!! LOL

    The โ€˜not expecting anythingโ€™ theory may have a good point, I guess that way of thinking does prevent disappointment, hey saggi shall we practice that together!!?? Lol no more โ€˜expectingโ€™ move forward, if things develop how we like them then great, if not then we not anymore disappointment and feel happier inside!!

    Good plan, expect less get moreโ€ฆ x

  1629. #1629 by saggi girl on March 29, 2010 - 3:08 am

    my bull just texted me after he disappeared a day after our fight, he texted me like: i hope you are safe and had a good weekend. i am tired and going to sleep now. good night with kisses and have a good day tomorrow.โ€

    Jesus,i am still upset but he is all OK?? is that kind of bull way to make things up? i got confusedโ€ฆ i thought he wonโ€™t contact me anymore..

  1630. #1630 by Mia on March 29, 2010 - 5:31 am

    Hi Saggi, Jane and Jess,
    I’ve been reading ur posts, been busy here and am hanging in there like you too.

    Jane, do continue to hang in there, u are so like me wanting to contact him, but he will come back to you… like Saggi and Jess say, give it more time, you can, i know you can, you are very strong and so supportive with us too.

    Saggi, you see? your guy loves you so, texting u sending u kisses and wishing u a safe and good weekend. and you are so like me too, i am always thinking oh mine will never contact me anymore, but he always does like urs.

    and yes I like Jess have learned not to have any expectations, just let him be, that way i stay in balance and can close my eyes and have the sweetest thoughts of him.

    Jess, i know u are missing ur guy so, and the laptop is precious.

    we will be coming up on a year now in June and it is very slow and i’m telling him i want to go very slow, but rarely do we ever speak of the relationship.

    i do have a question for you… i read where they say back off completely and ignore your guy that he loves the chase, then i read where they are very shy and introverted and have to be nudged some for they fear rejection and will stop unless they feel it too from you… so in my case i am doing both and it is working nicely. a nice balance.

    sometimes he is initiating and then i may initiate a tiny flirt like tonight, a small message he will see tomorrow. but i mainly keep our relationship on a friend level. only if he initiates a more personal level, then i will recipricate, otherwise, i equal his level and it is working.

    it’s like he is now seeing me happy, calm, doing my own thing and is slowly, ever so slowly drawing him in, or at least keeping him in for now:)

    love and kisses to you!
    mia xoxoxoxoxox

  1631. #1631 by saggi girl on March 30, 2010 - 3:08 am

    my guy called tonight and i think what i complained about on last friday, he really considered it even though we had a fight..

    he was a little bit in a serious tone at the begining, but once the conversation went on, he relaxed a little bit, and then when i asked if he missed me, then he said โ€œnoโ€, then he started laughing..we teased each other a little bit. then he told me that he understood what i was saying but it was just he was too tired but i kept asking questions on that night.. then he was telling me that there is a lady in his language class wanted to help him.. then i was likeโ€ how old is she?.โ€ then he was likeโ€ hm, she is young.โ€ then i was likeโ€ good, you can date herโ€ฆ.โ€™ then he was laughing and saidโ€ no, she was an old lady.. you are crazy.โ€™ then i was likeโ€ why you told me that she was young.โ€ then he was likeโ€ because i want to piss you off..โ€ Jesus, he wanted to make me jealous..

    well, we are ok now.. we gave each other good night with kisses..hopefully i could be peaceful for a while.

  1632. #1632 by Mia on March 30, 2010 - 5:14 am

    Saggi,
    that is great, i’m like jess, i think ur guy is totally crazy for you because of his sweet call earlier tonight and him telling u about things and even teasing you about the lady that wanted to help him. u are soooo like i was… just one more question… he was tired, but i would have tried to get it in too as i know u realize u don’t talk much and u really wanted to get his answer on it, and oh was that such a typical tired taurus answer. mine would have said the exact thing as well as the “hang up” first that was more like a hang up… telling u, you can do what u want… yup. i know guys hate to talk about the relationship, and i realize they don’t two things don’t mix… talking about communication in relationships while heading off to bed… lol. u so needed his comforting words, reassurance, clarity and it doesn’t take much, but again as i read the mars and venus on a date (same author as men are in mars, women on venus book, john gray)…

    when a woman & man are in the mindset of a different stage, then the woman may start having expections while the man is in a totally phase like uncertainty… and unfortunately, the guy always sets the tone in a relationship, he moves it forward, or has it come to a halt. (or he can react)

    my guy called me several times today about the sports stuff… so that’s good, he is still trying to find things to call me about which is so sweet. he is totally respectful to me now, and he does see other guys in my presence treating me very respectfully too… maybe he was scared to the possibility of loosing me to one of them… ? he also answered my flirt message on the email text message thingee, but he keeps them separate, lol.

    hope jane is hanging in there, i know it must be so very hard on her, sweet jane… know jess has to be missing her guy terribly!!!

    sending lots of love,
    mia xoxoxoxxo

  1633. #1633 by Tarie on March 30, 2010 - 4:25 pm

    Hie ladies

    I know I have been out of the radar for so long but school got the best of me.
    Anyhow, I have been reading many posts and I still havent gotten through them. A lot has been happening to you all ladies with you Taurus man.

    My Taurus and I have made immense progress. We are in a relationship and he is so sweet. I cant imagine how I ever wanted to give up. Ladies, it was all worth the wait.

    Wish you all good luck with your man. It took my Taurus and I at least a year to get to this point, when I first met him he alternated between sweet to being a jerk.

    Patience ladies, he is now my man, yeah!!!

  1634. #1634 by Jane on April 1, 2010 - 4:46 pm

    Saggi, Jess Mia

    Hi to you all, I can see things have been quiet on the board and I have been doing a lot of thinking, and been quiet too, oh I didnโ€™t get any where in my thinking!!
    Well I still havnโ€™t heard from my bull, 11 days since I sent email and 10 days since his reply!!
    I do not think I will hear from him again, I am missing him very much and can not believe he is just going to let this go. Nearly a year together, I must admit I am very shocked, suppose I shouldnโ€™t be, he is a Taurus after all!!
    He is still on dating site, I am too but I am not active, he has not been on line for 3days, although maybe I am just not there same time he is.

    The more I think over things the more I am feeling I can not contact him, he knows what I want and I guess if he never had any intentions with me all along then I wont hear from him. I find that hard to believe as his behaviour and actions tell me different and we got so close, can he really just push me aside so easily!!??
    I do not know, I give up. My male friend said he doesnโ€™t think he will be in touch as he thinks he may expect me to reject him. I am not so sure as he new fare well how I felt about him.

    I am so sad it has come to this.

    I hope you are all ok and managing your bulls better than I did!!

    Jess, have you managed contact with your guy?

    Saggi, has your guy been ringing and not texting so much, are you feeling better?

    Mia, is your guy still doing the right thing by you!?

    I have been thinking a lot about you and I feel so close to you that it upsets me that I cant be here the same, oh I had better say no more as I am crying now!! Goodness.

    HUGS XXX

  1635. #1635 by saggi girl on April 1, 2010 - 6:18 pm

    Jane,

    it is good to hear from you…and i am sorry that he has not been in touch yet, like i said before, you can reach out if you want, but give it a few days more.. it might be true that he might think you will reject him.. as they are insecure deep inside but they do not show, you know that is the issue with man in general. If that is what you thought, you can reach out to him to say hello as a friend, so this way, leave the door open and say what he wants to do with you afterwards.

    i know it is a very confused situation especially with those bull, i have to admit that i am still confused with my bull..

    yes, he has been ringing after i got upset with him,, he called me on monday and wednesday( last night), he said that he understood what i was saying in regard to the contact, i will see how long he will stick to it before i blew off again. LOL

    hugs and kisses..

  1636. #1636 by Jane on April 1, 2010 - 7:04 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi to you and thank you, real good to hear from you too, I have missed you and believe me I have been thinking about you a lot, crazy I know as I donโ€™t even know what you look like! Lol But I value your opinion so much.

    I appreciate your words to me saggi, my heart is telling me to get in touch with him and my head is saying wow donโ€™t do that!!! How mad, the thing is I am going around in circles with this because no matter how much I try I keep thinkingโ€ฆ.if he truly wants me and had plans with me like he led me to believe then he will not let me go, right!!??

    I am concerned that he may think I will reject him, but I know him and he is not shy, yes he has some low self esteem at times but he would tell me straight what was on his mind if I was asking him something and he always did what he wanted to do when he wanted to do it and not before so I do believe in my heart that if he wants to he will make contact. The only thing is it could be months down the line!!! Oh that would be horrible!!
    Although I am on dating site, he doesnโ€™t know that and wont know, I donโ€™t want him to think I have moved on because believe me I havnโ€™t, that feels impossible at the moment.
    I mean I struggle with that to think he could move on so quickly, my heart is aching at that thought but I do feel if I get in touch with him its like he will think I am ok with the hurt I felt, you see he admitted that he betrayed my trust so I am feeling for him to take me seriously I cant contact him first. My god that sounds so petty but this guy is saying he not ready, so if losing me โ€˜makes him readyโ€™ then he has to do it on his own!!?? As you said saggi I have to give him time to miss me, (if he ever will!!)
    I miss him more than words can say, its so horrible.

    Saggi, so glad your guy ringing you, he does love you, I just know he does and he has typical Taurus bullshit ways that make you upset at times, but saggi you both still very much together and that says so much how far you come together for sure.
    Thank you my dear friend x

  1637. #1637 by Jane on April 1, 2010 - 7:38 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hey just reading your post to NyNy and you say, โ€˜I want what I want and I want it nowโ€™ my goodness that is me too, never thinking straight at times like โ€˜is he good for me or can he give me what I need ect!!!

    Love should most definatly be based on love and trust, you are right saggi. Also โ€˜taurus guy tends to abuse those who give in to himโ€™โ€ฆ.that is my thought to and another reason I cant contact himโ€ฆ.

  1638. #1638 by saggi girl on April 1, 2010 - 9:26 pm

    Jane,

    I am happy that you seem calm in your last post, i know it is hard, but do not think in a way that we can not live without them, actually it is not true as we live very well before those bulls landed in our land, right?

    If you carried that negative attitude, it will carry the negative energy around yourself.. chin up.

  1639. #1639 by Mia on April 2, 2010 - 10:59 am

    Jane, Saggi,

    Giving you both sweet hugs!!! Saggi, I was reading your very first posts! Sweet Saggi, he loves you so, yeah, he is a pain still, as Jane’s and mine, but we love them just the same! Just like you say, they are tough on exterior but actually sensitive and insecure on inside and “secretly” love our fondness for them.

    Jane, my sweet Jane! I was so thinking like you, and I’ve been reading up on some blogs and the very first posts here with Saggi and Jess and Taurus Girl above… everything tells me just the opposite of what I’ve been doing but it does seem to get through to them…. and that is to go on and initiate in a soft way from time to time, but only as a teensy nibble, leave it… and your deer will come out of the forest in a very timid way to take your bait, er… I mean your “dear” taurus man of course… ๐Ÿ˜‰

    So when I go over your case, you naturally took him at his worth and all his signals seemed like you were a couple, well you were not yet but not your fault at all, you just “read” him wrong. so meet him at his level and he will come back to you, besides, what have you got to loose? Like Saggi said, put aside your negative thoughts, I have, no matter what, no matter if he leaves me, no matter if I leave him, no matter if we marry, doesn’t matter, my thoughts will always stay positive about ME and my life. If he chooses to share in my positive thoughts, super! if he chooses to pout, so sorry for you, but I still choose to be happy with my life.

    If I were in your case, no matter how sad I feel, no matter what level I thought the relationship was, I can’t force him into a stage he wasn’t ever at??? so you meet him at his level.

    You say you can’t be friends, oh yes you can young gorgeous Jane. (in your mind pretend, i know in your mind, you are married, lol, but do you wish him to be back in your life… okay) then meet him where he is at, that way when he thinks of you sweet Jane, he has no more anxiety, no more guilt, he has sweet, good, loving thoughts of you because YOU (and Saggi) are a catch! You are so fun to be around!

    And again, I would be like writing a small note telling him even though you did not know he was on a dating site, I’ve never wanted to pressure you, and to the contrary, can you please tell me how good the site is, I may join myself, but have always been leary of dating sites… I am a pretty straight-forward person and I kinda like you, so as you can imagine, my reaction may have seemed a bit exaggerated. I wish you the very best and taking it very slow was always my intention with us. Wishing you a great day, Mia

    something very light, unassuming, no strings, just a short, nice note to give him the message that he does not make or break your life, that of course you always wish him well and truly you already know no guy wants pressure like that:) ( this establishes your open door, now do nothing… when it comes to him, but EVERYTHING for yourself!!! I would grab you and Saggi if I were near and we would pamper, shop all day long!!! ah, how refreshing!!! )

    With that one note, he now is suddenly attracted to you because you took all the pressure off him. i see you gave too much my sweet Jane, that is why all those tiny little resentments popped up, otherwise, you would not feel so hurt by him…

    think about it this way, let’s just say he met you, sent you dozens of roses daily, he told you he loved you very quickly, he couldn’t take his eyes off you, wined and dined you, and every time you turned around, there was another guy at your doorstep, you were torn, all these guys sending you things, you are not doing ANYTHING… just accepting and wow, cool, being treated like a princess!!!! even though you may not realize it i can PROMISE you would not feel so much resentment if he shyed away, heck, you may have still been on the dating site! lol… do you see how naturally the balance is … but I am finding with our taurus it is okay to initiate, but to still meet them where they are at, no more, so you don’t drive them away…

    I’m getting more of a feel for mine and after i initiate, I back off, he comes around ๐Ÿ˜‰ He is wanting to see me so badly this weekend, but I’m very busy with choir for Easter weekend and keeping our relationship at his pace and not mentioning the “r” word, or the “d” word, (dating) i just speak about “doing stuff” lol… light, and no emotional stuff… ๐Ÿ˜‰

    up all nite will get about 1 1/2 hrs sleep today and tonight…

    sweet kisses to you both! xoxox
    mia
    Jane, stop that crying, I have a feeling he will be back… I thought mine was done too, but we’re back on, remember Saggi has had her up and downs, so we all have with our stubborn smarta**es, but we love

  1640. #1640 by Jane on April 2, 2010 - 1:21 pm

    Mia

    Thank you for sharing your truly sweet thoughts with me, I do mean that and I do understand when you sayโ€ฆโ€™meet him at his levelโ€™ but I have been patiently waiting with out pushing him all this time, he knows I have.
    Where I am from we only date one person at a time, it is thought as โ€˜cheatingโ€™ otherwise, the only difference here with my situation is we are โ€˜friendsโ€™ but we all know that is Taurus bullshit!!!
    I did give too much, you are right, that is my personality and I do need to stop that and toughen up. I just give my all and expect the same in return; I know I should not do that.
    He has all along given me the โ€˜talkโ€™ that he wants me in his life and his future, asking me to be patient, I have done just that, been my wonderful feminine and sweet self and he was on dating site!! I just canโ€™t stop thinking was all he ever said to me just lies, I donโ€™t understand.

    I am worried as the longer time is passing I am getting angry at him for not caring enough to get in touch, then I think is it his or my responsibility to contact first?? Is it anyones!!??

    When you say meet him at his level, you mean โ€˜friendsโ€™?? I have been doing that all along whilst believing we working up to something down the line, I didnโ€™t care how long as I new as slow as it was, it was happening and I was happy with that. I was wrong, he obviously intended for nothing with me, he just strung me along it seems. Thatโ€™s how it feels although deep down I know he would not hurt me intentionally, he really wouldnโ€™t.

    I am so upset right now writing this because I have loved him for real, I understood his insecurities, remained at his side and let him set the pace of everything as Taurus control everything!! Maybe that is my fault.
    I am so scared too I am protecting me and it is my fear preventing me contacting him, I have felt let down, I donโ€™t want to drive him away but I need validation from him that all he ever said to me was real and not a lie. All through this past 11 months it has been about โ€˜himโ€™ just this once I need it about โ€˜meโ€™. Is that wrong!!??
    Do you understand what I am saying?
    I love him deeply and want to be with him, but on what level!? How can I just be โ€˜friendsโ€™ now it wouldnโ€™t go anywhere because I would think he looking for someone else.

    Mia, thank you, I do appreciate all you say. Saggi and Jess too. You are all helping me so much. I just wish in the deepest part of my heart that we could work this out. I guess I am waiting for some magic wand or something!!! Goodness me!!

    You sound so busy Mia. Oh not very much sleep thatโ€™s not good. I am glad things going ok for you, you sound like you are in control of your emotions with regard to him, and your tactics appear to be working, well done. Keep it up Mia and good luck to you. Big hugs x

  1641. #1641 by saggi girl on April 2, 2010 - 2:27 pm

    Jane,

    I don’t think you need to contact him just because you missed him dearly, i want you to contact him is when you are ready for all of the things you have swallowed including his socalled betrayl…friendship.

    Honestly, I would think he needs to initiate contact if he admits that he betrayed your trust even though everyone thinks it in a different way, but he admits it is a betrayl. so, if he really cares, really wants you, he should call you when he is ready to ask for your forgiveness as least as a friend if you are that important to him. but at the same time, based on what i learned from my bull, he might hold back the contact if he thinks it will go back to the old way and think it will be pain for both of you if he is still not ready for things you are asking for….It is not fair for you and not fair for him..it will be more pain for nothing. like what happened to me at the begining of my dating with my bull when i broke up with him due to losing control of my feeling.. i asked to break up in person and he knows what i meant by the time and he refused it as he thought it will be more pain for nothing even though he said that he does miss me.. they are the thinkers sometimes.

    Jane, as your friend, i cared about you deeply, i will be honest with you. If i were you, i wouldn’t contact him intiatively due to what he did.. like my guy told me one time that he did not love me when i pushed for answer even though i shouldn’t have pushed, but i took the face value and did not call him anymore even though i was so hurt and missed him like crazy, but i kept telling myself whenever i wanted to pick up the phone to call him, “why will i call a person who does not love me and said it to my face. even though i will end up being alone for the rest of my life but i do not need a partner who does not love me.. i did not hate him as everyone has their own free will to love or not to love, but all i can do is to respect, even though it will hurt me deeply. Respect him is to respect myself.. so it has been 3 weeks of no contact, then he finally called me out of blue..and asked why i did not call him. Then i told him how he could expect me to call when he said those thing to me, then he was silent and asked to stay in touch.. Jane, they are sometimes taking things for granted, i don’t know if it is in their nature or not.. but you need to stand firmly on your ground even though you will be so hurt for even thinking of losing him forever.

    I don’t believe in friendship between woman and man even though i used to be on an undefined term with my bull for over a year but i kept telling him that i will be gone if i ever found out that he was seeing someone else without telling me, or sleep with someone else, i will be gone. he said that he knew it….. but i think there is a difference between seeing someone on undefined term without seeing someone else and seeing someone on undefined term with actively looking for someone else. I don’t know if you ever communicated your thought to him or not.. but as Jess said, at the end of the day, man are still man… I am not sure if my guy did that or not behind my back as nobody can guarantee anything..

  1642. #1642 by Jane on April 2, 2010 - 4:33 pm

    Saggi girl

    Oh sweet saggi, thank you so dearly for your honesty to me, its what I want.

    I have communicated to him about dating other peopleโ€ฆ
    Remember the โ€˜not holding my handโ€™ situation, well the texting that followed he said that it was not that he didnโ€™t want to hold my hand, far from it and that it just โ€˜I guess I am out of practiceโ€™ (bullshit!!) Anyway he asked me to be patient with him and we would have a โ€˜pot of gold at the end of our rainbowโ€™!!! (he talks the talk!) I responded with, โ€˜I will be patients but I must feel I am the โ€˜only oneโ€™ while doing thatโ€™ he of course didnโ€™t comment on that but he new exactly what I was meaning. So do you see how dating site is a shock to me!!?? He has always led me to believe its me he wants when he is ready and he said โ€˜I donโ€™t expect you to wait for me, but you are a gorgeous amazing woman so please be patientโ€™ !!!!!!!! I have been patient all along!!

    You do make a very valid point saggi when you say that he may hold back contact through fear of it going back to old way.
    Part of me though thinks that he would prefer to go back to old way as he would not want to just be โ€˜friendsโ€™ (real friends) (me dating others like him) I know he wouldnโ€™t like that, I donโ€™t like that either and he saying he not ready for relationship so only other option is to go back as we where!!!
    I cant do that now while he on dating site as I am opening myself up to more hurt down the line, do you see saggi!?
    I value so much what you have said as I truly feel your honesty and understanding and I does mean a lot as I feel so alone with this, away from here.

    I will stand firmly on my ground saggi, as hard as it is, I miss him so much. We where such a big part of each others lives its so difficult. Not knowing how his day went, if work ok, if he happy, just general not hearing from him and knowing how he is doing is hurtful. I wonder if he feels the same and his stubborn Taurus ways will hold him back!!

    I donโ€™t believe in friendship between woman and man especially when the two are romantically linked, its as we have always known its Taurus way of protecting themselves.
    I do think my mistake has been I have not clearly verbalised things through fear of โ€˜pushing himโ€™ he knows how I feel about him and he will know the dating site thing is hard for me to take but saggi, I have been thinking too that Taurus are so heavy in to โ€˜trustโ€™ โ€˜loyaltyโ€™ โ€˜honestyโ€™ that at least this gives him validation that I am someone who truly values all those things, if he ever had doubts about my level of โ€˜trustโ€™ ect, he knows for sure now how important those things mean to me.

    It will be 2weeks this Monday that he replied my text, I guess in Taurus world that is no time at all!!
    Thank you again saggi, I do hope he is missing me and makes contact, maybe as you said he is waiting to make sure โ€˜flame is turned downโ€™!!! I love him so much.
    Like your example says about your guy not saying he loved you, you felt โ€˜why should I contact a guy who doesnโ€™t love meโ€™ You waited it out as you respect yourself, I am respecting me too, if he contacts then great if he does not then it is well and truly his loss, I believe thatโ€ฆ.
    Thank you my dear friend x

  1643. #1643 by Jane on April 2, 2010 - 4:38 pm

    Saggi girl

    โ€ฆ2weeks this Monday he replied to my email, not text!!

  1644. #1644 by saggi girl on April 2, 2010 - 6:13 pm

    Jane,

    I am glad that you felt the same way that i felt, i think we are so alike in a lot of ways..respecting myself is always my priority, if he did not go too far or did not cross the line that i set it for myself in regard to respect, i will let it go or swallow the bitterness to make it work.

    Jane, one thing i believe is that all guys like a woman who respect herself enough, especially love herself enough to stand up for herself when she believe that something is wrong against her belief.

    I can give my guy time only if i know that he respects me. If i knew he was seeing someone else at the same time of seeing me without letting me know, i would be gone long time ago. My guy sometimes say harsh things which could hurt me, but i would only look at what he did… you know what i mean? maybe, i am different, maybe my guy did it behind my back, but i do not know yet as this point.

    jane, stand firmly on your ground, do not give in. he will think you are a very trustworth woman who self respect herself and know what she is doing. It will be his lost..

  1645. #1645 by Jane on April 2, 2010 - 7:02 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi yes saggi you are right we are alike in so many ways, our beliefs and how we anylise things, expect things, feel hurt, emotion, yes it is all there and more with you and me hee hee.

    I agree saggi tht all guys respect a woman who respects herself, and I do. I have come along way last few years building myself up, it took a lot to trust someone close again.
    I know he respects me and he will see by me not contacting him that I am firm that trust and honesty and respect figure high in my priority. He knows he upset me, so it is up to him now.

    Yes I know what you say saggi if your guy says harsh things to you to hurt your feelings, then you will look at what he did and as long as he respect you then you can see that and get passed the hurt but if respect falls that would make things different, I understand. You are so right.

    You are right saggi and I think that if he can not bring himself to contact me on any level that he thinks is correct, then it is surely his loss, I know he will never find a woman who stood by him and went that extra mile in my understanding like I did. He has already said few weeks back that it overwhelms him how much I care and understand himโ€ฆ. So I guess if he truly meant that then he will do something about it!!

    Thank you saggi for your support, it helps so much more than you could know I hope you and your bull get together this weekend and have a special time together, I will be thinking about that and wishing you well.

  1646. #1646 by saggi girl on April 2, 2010 - 7:10 pm

    Jane,

    I posted a question on another site with taurus posting in regard to your situation, sorry that i did not get your permission for doing that, if you felt being offended, i apologize here in advance, but you know i mean good.

    i attached one of the girls responses for your review:

    —————————————————————————

    Just my two cents…

    He ‘technically’ didn’t do anything wrong if they both agreed on the label “friends”.

    She has some decisions to make:

    Does she want to continue to be “friends” with him knowing that he is dating around? If so, then she should contact him and let him know that’s ok.

    Is she ok with being friends if it will never lead to more than friendship? She needs to ask him directly if he thinks that he and she will EVER be more than friends. Depending on his response, she’ll need to decide whether she’s ok being friends forever, or if she’s ok dating around until if and when they both decide to go to the next level.

    Personally, I would tell him “Ok, let’s be friends again” then next time he wants to get together, tell him she’d like to, but she already has “other plans” (even if it’s just washing the cat or scrubbing the bathroom…he doesn’t need to know “what” plans she has). She should be slightly less available to “just a friend”. If he has deeper feelings for her, that might just light a fire under his butt.

    Jane, hope you do not mind and if you want to, i can tell you the website as there are some bull guys over that site.

  1647. #1647 by Jane on April 2, 2010 - 8:36 pm

    Saggi girl

    Oh sweet saggi, I am very touched that you would go to that trouble for me, truly I am. Thank you, I am not offended at all.

    First I will say, yes we agreed on โ€˜friendsโ€™ label but we acted like we where together, we far too close to be โ€˜friendsโ€™ I would not kiss a guy โ€˜friendโ€™ on the mouth!! Would you!!??? You see what I mean!??

    The only way I could be โ€˜friendsโ€™ with him while he dating around is if I did the same and me and my nature/personality I donโ€™t think I could do that.

    Yes I am ok with being โ€˜friendsโ€™ if it leads to more than friendship but only if he not on dating site because otherwise I would feel he still looking for someone else!! He has already said he wants more than friendship with me and to just be โ€˜patientโ€™!!! God I hate that word!!!!

    I guess saggi the message is I should contact him and ask him if he now sees me (as before) more than friends down the line!?
    If the answer is โ€˜yesโ€™ then I would expect him to not be on dating site, if he says โ€˜noโ€™ then I (think) I could be his friend but it would have to be at a distance because I would not wan to know about people he is meeting, that would hurt me.

    Saggi, in my heart right now I do believe he will contact me but way down the line, I donโ€™t see him doing it soon as he will want to make sure I donโ€™t reject him or at least lessen the chance of that. (little does he know I wont reject him) I would be happy to hear what he had to say, what ever it was!!

    What do you think of the posting saggi, do you agree with what was said or do you still think I should sit back!?

    It is so difficult as I know that he knows he has betrayed my trust, the fact that he even said that tells me that he saw me more than a โ€˜friendโ€™ otherwise why would he think he betrayed my trust if I am only his โ€˜friendโ€™??!!??

    You are a special friend to me and I thank you for taking your time up to do that saggi, xx

    Oh you can tell me the site saggi if you wish and I will check it outโ€ฆ

  1648. #1648 by saggi girl on April 2, 2010 - 9:31 pm

    Jane.

    that website http://sasstrology.com/2007/11/taurus-acts-like-hes-interested-then.html#comments

    Jane, just go there and ask questions if you would like, as we are all there sometimes, there are some bull guys and also some bull girls over there too.. i am not saying to listen to what they say, but at least we can let it out and share with each other.. it will be less stressful..

    my name there is saggi girl too.. LOL.. see you there.

  1649. #1649 by saggi girl on April 2, 2010 - 9:45 pm

    jane,

    i think it really depends on how strong you are to handle that, as i know for sure that i can not handle it. i will drive myself crazy, that is why i don’t want to dig deeper with my guy if he really dated someone behind my back. remember the movie theater event on christmas day, he ended up getting a girls’s phone number in front of all of us? i drove myself crazy like nonstop.. then he finally told me that he deleted her phone number as he does give a shit if i am not happy.. actually I don’t know if he really deleted or not, but it takes a really long time for me to settle down with the idea that he has not bad intention.. see, i am not that strong and have a lot of drams. so, that is why, i would say it really depends on how strong you are..

    i would be always thinking that he was dating someone else.. as there is a difference between you know and you don’t know. and how you are going to handle it when you know..

    like my first love, he cheated on me but i can not forgive.. but at the same time, my coworker told me that her husband used to cheat but she forgave her and right now they are living in a very happy life…

    i think it really depends on how much you can take and still live it happily. but i can not.. so that is why i kept making dramas..LOL

  1650. #1650 by Jane on April 2, 2010 - 10:35 pm

    Saggi girl

    Thank you for website, I will check it out.

    I am same as you; I know I will not handle it to think he dating someone else. That is why I say I could only go back to how we where if he off site. I suppose I would have to trust him saying that and it would depend also on what he said to me bout it.

    To be his friend at the moment with no chance of getting together in the future seems better than nothing, but I do feel that as time progressed I would hate it as I would always wonder if he seeing someone else and I would not have the right to be unhappy about it. I am not strong that way. It would eat away at me I just know it, I think because of my feelings for him, I could not bare that. I do remember you situation with the girl cinema thing, I remember how upset you felt and I also remember how I would have been the same, your guy acted in innocent way, sort of casual like it did not mean much to him. They donโ€™t see how actions like that can hurt and I would bet all the money in the world that had that been the other way around, your bull would not have liked it at all!! Remember the attention you got from the guy in the bar!!! Geez how different they act when the shoe is on the other foot!!??!!!

    Saggi, as it stands I am waiting for him to contact, I am not sure how long to give this!?! Maybe until I cant take it anymore, who knows. Maybe then if I feel I can then I will get in touch with him just to say โ€˜hiโ€™ and maybe leave door open. Even just saying that there to you does not feel right to me saggi, I am deeply feeling that he needs to contact me for me to know for sure that it is what he wants and not just because I have contacted him first that has made him bother. I would always think he would not have bothered if I hadnโ€™t first and at this moment it is me who needs his validation It may sound stubborn but I have a heart that needs protecting too, just like him and at this moment it is he who has hurt mine. I feel strongly about that.
    As I have said to you saggi, I do have a big concern that his insecurities and fear of rejection will hold him back.
    I guess I just have to trust that what will be will be!!!
    Fingers crossed!!

  1651. #1651 by saggi girl on April 2, 2010 - 11:20 pm

    jane,

    i guess we are who we are, we can not change what we likes and what we don’t at this age, what matters to us will never change even though somebody feels cool about it.

    i agreed that you will wait to contact until you can not take it anymore.. that sounds good to me. as i want you to take time to think things instead of solely acting on your emotion and feelings. i know they are strong towards your bull, but this is a very important step and you need to take time for it.

    at the same time, be prepared for whatever comes along. I don’t know why, i got the feeling that your bull will be back for sure, but how long? unknown…

    take good care of yourself, do not force youself to date anyone at this moment, as it will worsen how you felt..i forced myself to date other people but it ended up missing him more…

    Jane, have a good sleep.. i don’t know if he will see me or not, but we do talk consistently…he called on monday, wednesday and texted me last night.. but i will be busy during the weekend as my company gives me addtional assignment to teach the workshop, i have to review the materials.. so if he can not see me, it will be ok, I guess…

  1652. #1652 by Jane on April 3, 2010 - 7:46 am

    Saggi girl

    Hi, I am guessing you must be in cozy sleep right now and I have just got up!!!

    I agree we are what we are and yes we get to this (old age!!) lol and we set with how we do things. I guess you will be the same saggi that โ€˜I just want simple lifeโ€™ no drama, happy calm living!!! That is not too much to ask right!!??? Right!!

    Yes I want to act on how I feel but not while I have emotions raging up!! Calm outlook and feel good. It is of course very hard when your stomach is doing flip overs at the sound of his name!!! I am doing my best I promise.

    I do hope he will be back, I have no intention of dating anyone else, I just couldnโ€™t it is not how I operate with things and I agree I would only focus on him more if I did!!

    Saggi you sound like you have a busy week end, that sounds like a big responsibility assignment to teach workshop!! You go girl, be proud of yourself. I hope it goes well for you Saggi.
    Hey you and your bull must get together this week end, I do hope that comes about and you both have a great times together. I will be thinking about thatโ€ฆ oh I am so jealous!! Hee, hee hey happy for you though saggi.

    Have funโ€ฆ.

  1653. #1653 by Mia on April 3, 2010 - 7:47 am

    Tarie,
    I see your post up there and that is fantastic about your bull;)

    So you just did your own thing and because of your patience, he just kept coming around? And wouldn’t leave you alone until he got a commitment from you??? oh how Saggi, Jane and I wish our bulls would call, text, message, send flowers, hugs, love asking for our commitment too ๐Ÿ™‚

    Saggi, excellent about posting to the other site for insight on their thoughts. You and Jane take from it and decide on your own values, beliefs which is the right thing to do. I do hope your guy wants to spend time with you this weekend, I do know he loves you so, from the way you speak of his continual, consistent contact with you…

    Jane, it sounds more like a communication problem than him leading you on deliberately lying to you to lead you on and date, pursue other women behind your back just until something better comes along and using you… you know him more than Saggi and I, you know from being around him if you see his character of one that is a betrayer, a player that would lead you on, play games behind your back …. oooorrrr if u truly try to put yourself in his shoes where his mind could have been at to show u that perhaps he isn’t such a terrible, person after all…

    Seems to me he does adore you, and definitely had you in his sight for a strong possibility of a serious relationship. Remember what we read it takes sometimes years for the guy to consider you true commitment material.

    i see you both as genuine (remember this also pertains to each of ur own signs, for in his sign, he does feel genuine, and as in yours too), but that you both have felt misunderstood and also that you both misunderstood each other too.

    I am thinking for now yes to “no contact” but also trying to remember exactly what your last communication was to him and what was his last communication to you, who was last?

    If he said i will sit back and you come to me first, then in a taurus mind, he is deliberately giving you space. also, didn’t you say your last communication to him was from your deep hurt, and anger? he may be feeling guilt? he may be feeling you don’t ever want to have anything more to do with him ever again? HOWEVER… i do feel he will eventually reach out to you…

    for now i wouldn’t be so concerned with the friend label or any label… you just want to first get past the fact that you may or may not ever speak again…

    Saggi used to say, not sure he will ever contact me again… and i have said that to myself countless times too….

    it is so hard, but you need to do what your instinct tells you to do…

    Saggi, you enjoy your workshop, awesome you’re so smart! Jane, you hang in there and yes, you are a beautiful, graceful, classy catch! do something nice for yourself, come on here and vent vent vent, go to the cool website Saggi found, anything to lift ur spirits! Try to be around people, your friends, but i don’t think I would ask the friend to continue trying to get your guy to interact with her, and if I were her…. I would not continue to give you play by play… If I were your friend, I would respectfully delete myself from the profile. I think I would die if my friend did that to a guy I liked, as much as you say it was revealing, it had to have hurt just a teensy bit deep down to know ur good girlfriend is being hit on by a guy you like deeply. At this point, i just do not see how it is helping you, only dragging you down… please know i say that in much love for you Jane as I hate to see u sad, hurt, or lonely in ur situation with ur guy…

    I’ll be painting children’s faces at our Easter get-to-gether at church tomorrow morning:) and a very full weekend singing in the choir.

    Have a blessed Easter weekend,
    Mia
    xoxoxox

  1654. #1654 by Jane on April 3, 2010 - 9:22 am

    Mia

    Hi Mia you are so beautiful, thank you for your lovely words.
    Deep down I do not believe him to be a betrayer, player deceiver of any sort but I do feel hurt by him being on dating site while leading me to believe we working on something together. That is it and where my hurt is, all I keep thinking is, is he waiting for someone better, is all he ever said to me just โ€˜sweet talkโ€™ I know him and know that deep down right now he will not be happy that I am feeling this way, he is so tender and gentle in his manner that I do believe he will not be happy too but Mia, while I agree we have had a communication difference of some sort, he has known my feelings for him and he should have let me go if he wants to date around as he is fully aware of my principles and values. I am missing him but feel hurt.

    I am feeling over the initial hurt and feel calmer but feel in my heart that contact has to come from him.
    I am looking at our overall relationship and based on that, it is his call. He knows how I feel and knows what I want.

    My last communication to him was my email, hurt and emotion, he replied next morning with โ€ฆ.โ€™I am sorry, you of all people do not deserve this, let me explainโ€ฆ he went on to say how he only on site for โ€˜friendshipโ€™ and agreed his profile says different. He said I want more than he can give me but he is looking for no one at this point. He said he has betrayed my trust and will take a step back for me to contact him if I wishโ€ฆ.blah, blah.That was our last contact. It will be 2weeks this Monday since he replied to me.I do feel he meant every word and that he cares for me deeply but I am so badly needing his validation that โ€˜it is trueโ€™ he cares. He has placed doubt in my mind of his intentions to me and for us, what if he never had intention to be with me? Was he stringing me along!? My head says โ€˜yesโ€™ he is and my heart saysโ€™ noโ€™ he isnโ€™t I feel insecure after all this and need him to reach out to me, I just donโ€™t know if he will.

    Mia, thank you for your support, I hear what you say. It is difficult as I am scared too.

    You have a wonderful Easter, face painting eh!! So much fun!! I hope things going well with your guy. I appreciate all you say.
    Thank you x

  1655. #1655 by Jane on April 3, 2010 - 5:40 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi saggi, oh boy I am having a โ€˜weakโ€™ day!!!!!!
    Oh it is not good at all.

    I was with my friend, girl who is on dating site and going over things and she was saying why wait for him, I am in limbo waiting for something that may never happen!! So I was thinking of how things stand at the moment, it of course is over between us and what he wrote in email reply โ€ฆ.โ€™I respect your feelings and will take a step back for you to contact me if you wishโ€™โ€ฆ. I am guessing by that he is not going to contact me at all.
    I am thinking of what can I deal with? What is the least I can expect from him? I guess what he is saying is โ€˜friendshipโ€™ is all he can offer (I know that has been bullshit) but I have to take that as all he can give and just offer him that. I mean I am thinking I want him in my life and if that is all I can have then so be it.

    Saggi, please give me your opinion on this, I was thinking of emailing him a short message, something like, โ€˜Hi, hope you are well, I have done a lot of thinking past few weeks, I am over the hurt and understand that we are both at different stages of our lives, I care deeply for you and would like to keep you as a friend, maybe we could keep it light and text every so oftenโ€™ blah blahโ€ฆ something on them lines, what do you think. I feel for me to move on I need closure as I donโ€™t think he is coming back to offer me more and all this is driving me crazy!!!
    I wish contact would come from him, I could wait along time for him to initiate.
    What would you do saggi if this your situation, appreciate your in put as I know you will be honest with me. Thank you

    Oh I visited website you posted question on, oh how lovely it was reading the conversation about me and your concern, I was so very touched saggi and I do thank you so much for doing that, so helpful to.

    Have you heard from your guy, spending time together?? Oh how is work coming along, how clever you are!!

  1656. #1656 by saggi girl on April 3, 2010 - 6:13 pm

    jane,

    “I am thinking of what can I deal with? What is the least I can expect from him? I guess what he is saying is โ€˜friendshipโ€™ is all he can offer (I know that has been bullshit) but I have to take that as all he can give and just offer him that. I mean I am thinking I want him in my life and if that is all I can have then so be it.”

    Jane, if that is what you want right now, then be it. nobody can guarantee the future even though we were being promised anything but things can change over time, so if right now, that is all you want, then send him a short note, but do not mention that you are over the hurt, he does not need to know if you are over the hurt already, just say hi and tell him that you have been thinking about him lately, hope he is doing well.. that is it, do not mention that you can be his friend from now on, and you are at different stage…blah blah, no, Jane, do not mention that…

    Just leave the door open by saying hello, showing your concern and that is it.. he said you can contact him if you want, he does not say that he wants to know if you are over the hurt and can be friend with him… we all know the friendship is the bullshit.. and do not be like an open book to him at this moment, he does not need to know what you think. All he needs to know is that you leave the door open and it is his turn to contact you if he wants to….

    you can do it Jane, hehehe… love sometimes really torture people who treated seriously, like us. LOL

    as for me, no i haven’t heard from him yet, he is supposed to go to the temple today and today i guess is the last day of passover… but i am ok, i don’t worry about him.. he called and texted, it is enough, all i want to see if he was making effort even though it was not really in a level i prefer to be… i will cut him slack…he needs freedom too…hehehehe.. all of the sudden, i am so understanding.. it is really strange. LOL

    i am going to be at home all day as it is raining now.. just keep me posted..i am here..

  1657. #1657 by Jane on April 3, 2010 - 7:12 pm

    Saggi girl

    Goodness me you are so precious, thank you.

    I understand what you say about not giving too much of my thought away to him but the reason I want to say something on the lines of what I expect is I donโ€™t want him to think I want to go back to how things where, I mean of course I do if he off site but not otherwise, do you see saggi? I am also thinking if I just say, โ€˜hi hope you well I have been thinking about you blah blah then at what point will I say to him โ€˜lets be friendsโ€™!? He may then think all I said in email didnโ€™t matter and it does. I am wanting him to know I am realising we can only be friends, I am letting him off the hook and showing I am understanding, then he may feel that is ok because as it stands now all he can offer it seems is friends! I donโ€™t want him to feel pressure or that I just want to carry on as before, I could only do that if he off site. (he has not been on site since last Monday)

    I guess I want to protect me also and think if I already decide where things are then he cant object or is less likely too as I am thinking it is what he wants.
    Also I am protecting my pride too, I donโ€™t want to appear to him like, โ€˜oh there she is back in touch like nothing happenedโ€™ I am not sure I am making sense here. I donโ€™t want to make a mistake so I am taking what you say saggi, I realise where you are coming from and right now I am probably driving you crazy going in circles with this!! I am driving me crazy!!!
    Oh, saggi also I am thinking for me to move on I need this, to have him in my life on some level, and If I offer friends then it is up to him to say different. If I donโ€™t say anything he may think I want it as it is, do you know what I mean!?

    Saggi, hey how good are you, you are so calm and understanding your guy, bet that feels better to you and so much easier to deal with, โ€˜cutting him some slackโ€™!!! Saggi you will notice as you do that how good you feel and how he slowly draws into you so much more! Good stuff, I am proud of you and so glad you are ok. He will be seeing you very soon I am sure of that!!

  1658. #1658 by saggi girl on April 3, 2010 - 7:40 pm

    jane,

    i understand what you are saying, at this point, you are purely wanting to be his friend and will only treat him as a friend.. if you can do that, that is fine. but, i had the similar experience before when i told my bull that i could treat him as a friend, only a friend, but we finally spent time together, it is nothing like a friend, friend do not hold hands, friend do not kiss each other, friend do not say intimate stuff.. friend do not see each other that often, friend do not get too much involved with each other’s life..if you can treat him like that, what do you need him for?? we all know, you just want him to off the hook and be acceptive of your relationship like a friend.. so he won’t have the pressure…what about you?? can you really treat him like a friend?? i told my bull like millions of times that we are just friend after we get back together.. like one time, he gave me some advice about my relationship with my ex husband, then he told me that he wanted me to make decisions for myself..only for myself.. then i was like” yeah, i know, we are just friend..” then he was like” no, you said that, i never said that..we are not just friend.. we are more than that…”
    see, Jane, if he really treated you like a friend when he sees you, you will feel hurt, maybe one time or two times you are ok with his real friendship style, but you will feel hurt once you are going deeper with you feeling when you spend more time together..trust me, you will.. i always asked myself why i was so stupid saying that when we are actually doing things more than friend…

    so, that is why, you do not need to define that you only want to be friend, you can treat him like a friend but do not have to say it, he will see that. let him guess your thought…otherwise, later on, when you question him why he did this , why he did that. then he might say that we are just friend.. do not fall into this bullshit trap.

    you do not have to say it, but instead, leave the door open by saying hello, showing your concern…if he respondes to you, and wants to see you, then you can see him but only treat him like a friend.. be polite, be sweet, but that is it until you figure out that he was no longer on that site….

    oh, if you really wanted to say something to take the pressure off his shoulder, you can say” hi, i just want to say hello and i have been thinking about you laterly and i do value your friendship, hope you are doing well.”

    keep me posted..

  1659. #1659 by Jane on April 3, 2010 - 8:17 pm

    Saggi girl

    Saggi, oh I am crying so bad, you are so right, I hear your words. I take your advice.

    Thank you for your direct honesty, I know that is true.

    I think the reason I was going to say everything as I was isโ€ฆ1 for him to be off the hook and not feel pressure and 2 for me to try and take some control (in a nice way) and protect me by offering only friendship.

    You see saggi I am not sure if down the line I could accept just friendship from him because of my feelings for him but I guess my thinking was if I offer just that then I protect myself (keep distance) and if he changes friend into more then great, but if I prepare for friendship then I wont be hurt. I would prefer he treat me as a friend if he saw me than pretend we have more when we have not. I am thinking also that if we โ€˜really friendsโ€™ then we wouldnโ€™t really see each other anyway because the distance would have to be there. Just text /email maybe. All the time I am protecting my heart which at this moment feels fragile.
    Yes โ€˜friendsโ€™ do not say intimate stuff, hug and kiss and that is how we where before and all the flirting texts and calls, I would not do that with a friend, that is how we where with each other. I could not have that now like that as his friend. The way I am looking at it right now is I can only have him as โ€˜real friendsโ€™ as that is all he claiming he wants and I see it as better than nothing. That is why I was wanting to define it to him as I could not bare to be as we where, flirting, kissing, hugging and talking intimate as his friend and he on that site!!!
    Feeling deeper than โ€˜friendsโ€™ the more I see him is what I am afraid of that is why I do not know if having him in my life that way will work for me. I am so worried about that.
    I hear all you say saggi, thank you it makes sense to me, I will say โ€ฆI value our friendshipโ€ฆ your right that will take pressure off him.
    Oh this is so horrible.
    Thank you sweet saggi, I am not sure when to send emailโ€ฆit is floating in my crazy mixed up head still!!!!

  1660. #1660 by saggi girl on April 3, 2010 - 9:24 pm

    jane,

    do not rush youself to send it out..simmer it for a while, then do it when you are ready.. sometimes, things are not like either white or black, but it is just me…so that is why i have been suffering from my relationship with my bull when we used to be just like” friend.” my bull even told me before that we were actually a couple but not formal yet. it was like a year ago, my problem is always asking him what i am to him, then he will say” you are important to me.. i cared about your deeply and i have very strong feeling for you..” i don’t know, it is hard for me to figure out… then i quit figuring it out… just go day by day until today.

    take it easy, do not think too much. either he wants to be with you or not, not a big deal. we have no control over the outcome, the only thing we can do is to control what we are going to do and what we want to do, so we won’t have regret later…

    do youself a favor… do what you want to do.. then leave the outcome to God..if you don’t do it, you will never know..

  1661. #1661 by Jane on April 3, 2010 - 10:30 pm

    Saggi girl

    I am not going to rush saggi, I am still thinking about it, strange but something is holding me back!!! You are right if I donโ€™t do it then I will never know, correct. I know his fear of me rejecting him will be stopping him, guess as usual it is up to me to do something!!!

    How funny saggi you say, you ask your guy what you are to him, and he say, โ€˜you are important to meโ€™ โ€˜I care about you deeplyโ€™ โ€˜I have strong feelings for youโ€™. My guy would say exact same words to me!!! Except I did never ask him what I was to him, the reason I never asked was I guess fear of โ€˜pushing himโ€™ and also fear โ€˜he may not answerโ€™ I suppose not knowing in my mind kept me safe in my own way, crazy I know. I realise more and more lately how insecure I am, I act all strong and in control but deep down there are definite times I feel fragile, I too am scared of rejection, he has no clue.Goodness I must toughen up!!

    You are right there is no sure control over the outcome, I must do what I feel is right for me and hope I donโ€™t regret it later, I have to take a chance, I believe he is worth it, if he wants to be with me or not I need to know. I think at this time it is me who is more likely to take a chance/risk than him. So that is what I must do. I will take some time, no rush (getting like Taurus!!) lol Yes, I will leave god to decide the rest and if me and my bull will make it!!

    Big thank you to you saggi, I canโ€™t tell how much you have helped me, you truly have. I am glad I met you (lol you know what I mean!!)

    My eyes are drooping fast!! Sleep is calling me. I will be back in the morning saggi. Keep me posted on your guy, I hope you get to see him. You have a great attitude.

    Keep you posted, hugs and kisses

  1662. #1662 by Jane on April 4, 2010 - 2:50 pm

    Saggi girl

    Oh saggi, I am a mess and having just the worst day!!! You know when you get that horrible sick/dread feeling in your stomach, well I have had that all day and it is not going away!!

    I just thought it be good for me to release it here, to you!! Sorry sweet saggi I do know you understand my crazy feelings!!!

    For some reason and I cant figure out why, I can not bring myself to contact him, I want to but something inside is saying โ€˜donโ€™tโ€™ I am thinking it is my deep need for validation from him. I want to know the past year has meant something to him and all the events (especially since xmas) have been real and not a lie. I am worried that emailing/texting like we said, it feels like all I said in email meant nothing. I realise I am going in circles with my thoughts here but they keep coming back and I am finding it hard to ignore it.

    Also it as only been 2weeks tomorrow (feels like 2months) that is the longest we have ever gone with out contact. This is just killing me my god I miss him so bad. I strongly feel too that if he really does have any feelings for me, then no matter what he thinks he will be back right!!??

    I am trying to think this from a guy point of view, I am not getting very far as especially Taurus, goodness strange beyond belief so its not clear if he will just think, โ€˜ah well game up. Sheโ€™s goneโ€™. Maybe he thinks my hurt is too big to deal with.

    I keep reading over all you have said to me on this, it makes so much sense, then I get scared of stepping in too soon, then I think oh what the hell go for it!!! I am all over the place!!!

    Saggi, I hope you are ok and spending time with your bull!!??? I have been thinking about that too.

  1663. #1663 by saggi girl on April 4, 2010 - 3:11 pm

    JANE,

    I totally understand how you feel, it is not easy to deal with as you have both heart and head fighting with each other, you were caught in the middle. Just be patient and see who is winning(LOL)..then you will know what to do.

    I am so sure that one year together does not mean nothing for both of you..and you said that he was not really active on that dating site for a week, maybe he was thinking..but you know them, they will contact you until they can not hold it anymore.. Jane, you have to have faith in yourself knowing that you mean a lot to him. right now, it is just a making it or breaking it moment. don’t force youself, when you are ready to do it, then you will do it, i know it is not easy but you got to do what you need to do. no right and no wrong when it comes to love, it was just how important the pride means to you. I know that i lost my prides for a lot of times to my bull. I think he was the same..

    as for me, my bull called yesterday while i was taking a shower, so i missed his call but he left me a message saying that he missed me and wanted to see me today.. we haven’t talked yet , but he will normally call around 12, it is only 10am now… the weather was not that great, but i do not want to stay in to cook again, i want to go out for lunch and maybe go for a movie if he feels like it too. but we agreed last time to see a movie if we see each other next time..
    i just had my breakfast, well, it is kind of late breakfast..

  1664. #1664 by Jane on April 4, 2010 - 3:47 pm

    Saggi girl

    So good to hea your words!! What am I like!! I am crazy!!!

    I am checking site all the time, (not good I know!) H e has not been active since last Monday, I was thinking/hoping too that he thinking!! Goodness yes I am aware how slow they are. I have faith in how much I meant to him, I know in my heart that I did for sure. I hope he can not let the last year just go in to nothing! That is heartbreaking. We match so well.

    I was reading (stupidly) a conversation that was saved on my computer from last year that we had together, it was amazing to read and so lovely but heart wrenching too, I didnโ€™t even realise that I had it!!! I was so bad wanting to tell him about it!!
    Maybe I will get my chance!!

    Sweet Saggi, you are my angel. Have a wonderful day with your bull, lunch, cinema whatever it is you do. Enjoy and love each other dearly. Remember how you are cutting him some slack!! Lol relax and make every moment special, so girl go on, youโ€™ve had breakfast, get your best outfit on, spruced up and knock him dead!!! Lol

    Keep me posted, and thank you again Saggi.

    Have fun xx

  1665. #1665 by saggi girl on April 4, 2010 - 6:38 pm

    jane,

    my bull just called again to confirm that he was coming at 2pm as he has something to do now..then i told him that i wanted to see a movie and eat outside.. then he asked me if i could cook at home and then he will bring wine or something, then i saidโ€ no, i wanna go out.โ€ then he was likeโ€ no, come on, donโ€™t you feel like cooking?? you havenโ€™t cooked for me for a long time, you were like cooking once a year..โ€ then i saidโ€ no, i wanna go out to eat, but i did cook ribs with plum sauce for myself and i saved it for lunch for tomorrow.โ€ then he was likeโ€ no, i wanna eat the ribs, i love how you made it. do you really wanna go out?โ€ i saidโ€ yeah,i do.โ€™ then he was likeโ€ ok, how about we going to a restaurant to eat something light, then we will go back to your place to eat again?โ€ Jesus, why it has to be this difficult, it was always about himโ€ฆ..and it was always about eat eat eat.. boring..
    but he said that he compromised already by agreeing to go to the restaurant..but when i mentioned that i want to see a movie, he said that he did not want to go, if i can wait for a week or two, we will go later as there is a good movie that he wanted to seeโ€ฆLord, see, it was always about him him him. where is the compromising?? i did not see.

    Jane, poor me.. i will do my best to be happy today..hopefully there is no drama..good luck to myself..LOL

  1666. #1666 by Jane on April 4, 2010 - 7:36 pm

    Saggi girl

    Oh goodness me saggi I am sorry but I am laughing so much lol lol. How very true โ€˜him him himโ€™ always him!!! Lol

    Bless you for keeping your cool and standing your ground to go out! That worked well for you, not sure I would have had same success!! Lol

    I guess he is compromising in his own sweet bullshit way!! Saying go out to eat light, back to your place for ribs (mmm!! Sounds lovely!!) and cinema later when something good to watch, you know how it goesโ€ฆ you suggest something (cinema,out to eat) he ponders it and gets back to you at a latter date! I actually think you are lucky that you got him to agree at all to go out to eat straight away!! Hee, hee Wow these Taurus men really are something!!!!!!!!!! LOL

    Saggi, he just loves your cooking! I can not believe how these Taurus love food! Crazy!! My guy exactly the same and I donโ€™t know if yours does this but his plate is the size of a mountain and he finishes he lot!!! NEVER FULL!!!! Dessert too!!! I scored big in the cooking department too!! That should bring my guy back if nothing else does!!! Lol

    Saggi by the time you read this, you will be back from your day with your guy, so yes โ€˜poor youโ€™ sweet saggi, I do hope you kept that sweet smile on your face, and bite your tongue from any drama coming out!!! I am keeping my fingers crossed for you!!!

    Keep me postedโ€ฆ.

    I have been thinking positive since our last post and trying to think that his absence from dating site is his โ€˜deep thoughtโ€™ for me!! Here is hoping!!!

  1667. #1667 by saggi girl on April 5, 2010 - 3:08 am

    Jane,

    It is 9:10pm, my bull just left… we had a good time together actually, hehehe.. it is better than i expected..we actually went to a restaurant and did not eat light at all.. he wanted to go to a nearby restaurant, i said no as it was too close.. then he was laughing and said” jesus, i can not believe it, you do not want to go because it is too close?? you are too funny..” then we drove around and went to a korean restaurant and ate BBQ.. then we came back to my home..we were kind of chit chat laying on my bed ..hehehe, i digged out a lot of stuff.. want to share with you, it might help you too..

    I asked my guy if he was ever on the dating site while he was with me before he gave me the title.. then he was like” no, i was never there..” then i was like: how about when we stopped talking after you told me that you did not love me for 3 weeks.. then he was like: no, actually i was busy and do not have that money to go out..” then i was like” that is it?” then he was like” i am done yet, and also it was because of you…” then i was like, well, I did, i went out with a guy during that 3 weeks..as you know me, that i don’t waste any time right? he said” yeah, i know. you don’t.” then he was like” what did you do? did he kiss you? or did something more?” then i was like:” no, i did not.. I just went on a date with him.. but i don’t have the chemistry…” then he was like” i did not do anything, but i do look around collecting phone numbers…actually they are all pretty cute.” then he admit that he actually went on a date with a girl, she was pretty cute and at the end, the girl kissed him on his cheek and kind of shy and told him to call.. they do talk after that, but he said that he never arranged going out again..” then i asked him why? he was like” because i realized that i missed you…it is not fair to go out with someone who was interested in you while you are thinking of someone else..”

    then later i want to know when he fall in love with me, but i know it is kind of hard to dig it out, then i confessed first.. then he told me that it was growing over time. then i asked him how long he has realized it.. then he was like” i don’t remember exactly, but i have realized it for a while.. it is probably when we stopped talking and something else little by little… then he said it takes time to fall in love with someone..you might like someone right away, but not for love.

    then i was like I realized it when i could do something for you that i would never do it for anyone else if i was not in love..as if you love someone, you want to do everything to make him happy.. then he was like:” yeah, it was true..” then i was like” wait a minute, are you sure that you are in love with me?? as this theroy does not apply to you at all..” then he was laughing like” come on, i wasn’t that bad, maybe i was too selfish.” then i said” right..you are..”

    Jane, did you see they have to realize that they missed you and they wanted you.. then they will move on to next level…

    well, hope you will understand what i was saying…. it was a good day, i was playing with his coffee and added it to the icecream, it turns out very good..

    Jane, good night.. do not think too much, you are on good side..just wait for the right moment to come..

  1668. #1668 by Jane on April 5, 2010 - 8:40 am

    Saggi girl

    Oh SaggiI am so happy you and your bull had the best time. No drama too!! Its funny how you say โ€˜better than you expectedโ€™ its like you wonder if things will go well or not, Lol It actually sounds so romantic how you where with each other, comfortable. I have tears rolling down my face reading your story as it was really sweet as I am picturing you and your guy laying on your bed being playful and talking. The things he said to you just made the floods of tears start for me as he is so lovely with you, just like mine was with me(the simple things matter so much) and it gives me so much hope hearing all that from him to you.

    Saggi, oh my goodness I laughed so loud when you said that you realised it was love when you could do for him and not do for anyone else, wanting to do everything to make him happyโ€ฆ. He agreed and you said, โ€˜wait a minute are you sure you are in love with me?? This theory does not apply to you at all!!!! LOL how funny saggi, your sense of humour is like mine when you say something funny with a little twisted idea to let him know something, oh that is so lovely. Him saying he not on dating site as too busy and no money to go out, sagi you are so funny, there you where and you did what I would do, jump in withโ€ฆโ€™is that it!!??? Lol and he said โ€˜I am not done yetโ€™ (its like geez women give me a chance!!LOL) then bless him he said the right thingโ€ฆโ€™and because of youโ€™โ€ฆ Good job he did!!

    Hey, not eating light does not surprise me, my guy would eat and eat and still have room for more!!! I do not know where he fits the food in his stomach!! Hee hee

    It is so lovely that you asked your bull those things, it has helped me so much and I do hope that โ€˜theoryโ€™ is applying to him right now, it certainly applies to me. He has not been active on dating site since a week ago today so I am so hoping his thoughts are of me.
    It funny how these Taurus men are known for not taking โ€˜risksโ€™ especially when it comes to the heart but in a way they take a โ€˜riskโ€™ in opposite way as they take that long to โ€˜moveโ€™ that they โ€˜riskโ€™ losing someone they eventually want!!! My heart is with him right now and I suppose he on some level realises that, but he always would say, โ€˜hey you could go off with anyone at any timeโ€™ goodness it does not make him move any quicker!!!! Taurus way or no way!!

    Saggi, I said to my guy a few times and I said it at end of my email to him that, โ€˜you will know when you have met the right one, because you will be โ€˜readyโ€™ your heart will tell you thatโ€™. I do believe that, it is true because all this bullshit โ€˜I am not readyโ€™ to me it either means it is self protection fear of commitment, or they just not into you and thatโ€™s why I say when you meet the right one all that fades away and you โ€˜will be readyโ€™. Nothing will get in the way.

    I have to just hope he is contemplating that right now.
    I love him so much and just hate not knowing how he is, if he is ok, happy sad, its just horrible.
    I have to just wait it out I guessโ€ฆ.!!!

    Bet you had sweet dreams of your bull saggi!! Lol Ahh sweet loveโ€ฆ

  1669. #1669 by Mia on April 6, 2010 - 5:20 am

    Saggi, so happy things are going so well with u and ur bull!!! love the way u were so relaxed and how he was opening up to you, sooo nice!

    Jane, thanks for ur note, i do think ur guy will come back around, i hate to read when u have sad moments or days, it sucks i know, but u have such a beautiful strong spirit and ur strength is so inspiring!!!!

    I can’t think of anyone here that has as much compassion as u. Here u are sharing in Saggi’s joy and happiness with the progressive direction of her relationship with her bull and yet, through ur pain, sadness in ur sweet heart, anger, frustration, and most of all the sometimes excruitiating unknown, u are able to pull up out of yourself and encourage, spread cheer & share in the joy of others. i do know Saggi is a huge source of strength and encouragement to you too.

    The face painting went very well this weekend and when my guy saw me painting sports logo on one of the children’s face (hey, the sweet little boy asked for the logo ๐Ÿ˜‰ my guy said, “mia, i think u missed ur calling.” he even came over and sat next to me to watch for a moment. pretty nice…

    and i had a milestone Easter Sunday. I was very blessed indeed. I sang in the choir for all 3 services which we worked on for weeks, and on my way home, i had a missed call and message from my guy. He invited me to Easter dinner at his parents with his brother, sister, their families too… all were there. that was HUGE for him. it was so very nice!!! he has never invited me for any of his family get-to-gethers and I called and spoke with him. I told him I had to sing all services but that I appreciated the invite.

    Last nite I went to his home to get shirts for ball team and his parents were outside, and they are delightful. We spoke on gardening and i was commenting again on a beautiful plant on the side of the house, and my guy’s Dad got the shovel and split the plant with me to plant in my yard and my guy gave me a sticker for my truck (now it matches his truck) i did not mention his sticker at all, he just out of the blue asked if i would like it on my truck and put it on while i was talking with his parents…

    and this weekend we are going out of town together. that should be nice.

    sending love and hugs,
    mia

    enjoy ur week both! xoxo

  1670. #1670 by saggi girl on April 6, 2010 - 4:25 pm

    mia.

    “Last nite I went to his home to get shirts for ball team and his parents were outside, and they are delightful. We spoke on gardening and i was commenting again on a beautiful plant on the side of the house, and my guyโ€™s Dad got the shovel and split the plant with me to plant in my yard and my guy gave me a sticker for my truck (now it matches his truck) i did not mention his sticker at all, he just out of the blue asked if i would like it on my truck and put it on while i was talking with his parentsโ€ฆ”

    progress..progress..you are doing wonderful. Mia.. keep it up with the good work.

    enjoy your weekend get away.. hugs and kisses..

  1671. #1671 by Mia on April 7, 2010 - 2:33 am

    thank u saggi.

    u and jane’s encouragement help much. also helps me just reading ur blogs. i am more calm now and that makes me more sure of myself.

    yes, will enjoy the weekend. we just spoke online tonight and it’s very good.

    hugs and kisses to u too!!! u and jane enjoy your weekend too!
    mia
    xoxoxoxxo

  1672. #1672 by Jane on April 7, 2010 - 7:47 am

    Mia

    Hello to you Mia, wow how great things are looking so much better for you, you deserve it so much and I am so happy for you. He realised he had a โ€˜good oneโ€™ in you eh! Brilliant. Sounds like you are deffinatly making good progress.

    Thank you sweet Mia for your lovely words to me, it meant a lot to hear that. Yes Saggi has been an absoulute โ€˜rockโ€™ and I helped me so much and as for the โ€˜compassionโ€™ that is how I find things here, we are here for each other in our own ups and downs giving encouragement and support when we can, how great that is. Thank you Mia, you have had your own upset times too and you still there with your support, it is good to know.

    How sweet the face painting incident, โ€ฆโ€™Mia you missed your callingโ€™โ€ฆ.Ah he is deffinatly getting closer Mia, the truck/sticker thing too!!! Oh you are on your way, keep up the good work Mia, you are doing great.

    I have still not heard from my guy, 2weeks and 2 days!!!! Feels like forever!! I do not believe I will hear from him now, maybe months down the line to say โ€˜hiโ€™ or something but I am feeling he has moved on. I am so devastated, my stomach is in knots and I am missing him so bad, it seems he forgot me already, not a word. He is not been active on dating site for 9days it would seem. I kinda hoped that meant something, I am not so sure. I was feeling so strong and now I have gone backwards again. It feels like he has gone and my heart is in two! Horrible. I am struggling to believe that after everything we had he can just walk away. I do not understand that.

    Mia, you are so lovely, you give to so many people and your guy is noticing that and starting to see ou for who you are, fantastic!! Hugs to you x

  1673. #1673 by Jane on April 7, 2010 - 11:28 am

    Saggi girl

    Hi Saggi, my goodness I am just having a bad time, I have not heard a word from my bull (I need to stop calling him โ€˜my bullโ€™) It is so difficult. My male friend just called me and he thinks I should email him and say something like, โ€˜โ€ฆ.having read your email and you pass responsibility over to me to contact you if I wish, well i think if you would like contact with me then you should take responsibility yourself for once, I will leave that up to youโ€™. Saggi, what do you think!!?? It is not how I am and I donโ€™t know how he would respond to that, probably dig his heels more!!! My friend is saying that as I am so upset and that my bull has passed responsibility to me so he doesnโ€™t have to do anything I should say that. I am so confused because Saggi if I am honest I really thought I may have heard something from him. My friend said also that he can see reasons why he would not get in touch with me as fear of rejection and because he has said for me to do it if I wish, he has let himself off the hook with saying that??

    I really thought he would be missing me like I am missing him, can he let this just go!!??
    I keep thinking of all the things you have said that have made so much sense to me and what your bull said too, they have to miss you first, is 2weeks 2days not long enough!!???
    I feel I have lost him forever and I may need to now think of moving on, I just donโ€™t know what to do its so painful. I can not believe the impact this guy has had on me. Its like I meant nothing to him all this time!!!!

    Saggi, I hope things are happy for you and your study for your job went well for youโ€ฆx

  1674. #1674 by saggi girl on April 7, 2010 - 2:30 pm

    Jane,

    i know how you feel right now especially with the day by day passing by more without hearing anything from him..

    I got some insight from my bull and thought you might like to know, but whatever he said was kind of brutal: actually i talked to my bull last night, I kind of mentioning you case, then he told me that your guy was doing “push and pull”. then i asked him what does it mean? he told me that your bull got caught for doing that, and right now just want to sit back for you to contact if you want as he does not know how to proceed next.. he wants to see your reaction first, then decide what he is going to do..

    at the same time, he told me that this guy likes you but was not in love with you yet.. as if he was, he won’t look around anymore and he should commit to you as your boyfriend.. I also kind of mentioned that he was gone for 2 weeks for a trip right before the break up… then he asked me if he was in contact with you, i said: “no.” then he was like” that speaks itself.” then i was like” what do you mean by that?” then he was like” well, it means that he was not serious yet..he likes her but not to be serious yet…if he was serious, he should be in contact anyways and won’t be going like 2 weeks without contact. was she ok with that?” then i was like” she was not ok, but he is not her boyfriend anything, so that is why she did not complain at all.” then he was like” that is the problem about woman, there are some signs there but woman chose to ignore it.. woman should stand up for herself.. if the guy did something hurtful, she should say it, otherwise, he thinks it is ok to do that.’ then i was like” but, you guys are so slow to commitment right?” then he was like” it is true that we are slow, but the thing is that if you are not happy with our treatment, you should say it to us instead of hurting yourself…..” then he told me that if you do want him then you can email him but don’t wait around…go out dating some other guys..if he comes back, then he will come back..if not, you did not waste your time..

    Jane, i understood what he was saying but deep inside i was telling myself they do not know what they put us through..as he used to tell me that he was not ready for a relationship at the begining, but i did not go away at all, instead, i was dating him patiently, well, there are times that i broke up with him as i lost my patience.. it has been 2 years.. we are still at where we are but not towards to the direction i wanna be.. it seems my bull likes the woman to stand up for herself based on his comment made toward your case, i guess Jane, instead of torturing yourself, i would suggest that you send him an email to say hello, but at the same time, do not wait around…if he comes back, then be it..

    what do you think? Jane…

  1675. #1675 by Jane on April 7, 2010 - 3:29 pm

    Saggi girl

    Saggi I feel so close to you as I have never had anyone do what you did, that means so much to me, I do hope you really know that. THANKYOU

    I have been on line an he was there the first time in 9 days!! It seems he has moved on already, I donโ€™t know??

    Saggi, what your guy said I do totally understand, maybe I should email and say, โ€˜โ€ฆ. I hope you re ok, I have thought a lot the last few weeks and I am doing ok I hope you are too, just wanted to tell you thatโ€™. Does that sound ok?? I was thinking you see that I am โ€˜not saying much to give much awayโ€™ and leaving it open for him to contact me??
    Something deep inside has been telling me not too and if I do to tell him that I am now โ€˜okโ€™ with him and accept he cant give me anything, that way if he does then ball be in his court then!!?? Oh this is a mess. Saggi you must have a headache with me!!!!?? I am sorry to be in circles always.

    Now seeing him on line (of course he doesnโ€™t know I am there!) is making me see he moving on especially as he been off it for 9days. I am so scared to email as I fear it leaves me vulnerable like it all ok what he did, it isnโ€™t and even he admitted he betrayed me so I guess I am just wanting to leave a door open with out him thinking I am fine with what happened. I donโ€™t want him to lose respect for me saggi. Maybe I should tell him that I was not happy with him on dating site and as my feelings for him are what they are, then that is why I could not continue with him knowing that and I guess I should have given him a chance to explain his side. I feel I must say something it is just โ€˜what I sayโ€™ I am struggling with. Thank you from my heart saggi, I think you guy saying about โ€˜standing up for myselfโ€™ he sure has a point!!
    He is right.

    What do you think the most I can say to him, I know I cant just say hello as he will think I am saying I accept things as the where and donโ€™t value me, do you know what I mean. Hugs to you my friend x

  1676. #1676 by saggi girl on April 7, 2010 - 4:52 pm

    Jane,

    do not assume things at all at this stage, it seems too hard for you to move on from this guy, that is how i felt about my guy before..actually i contacted my bull for a few times right after i broke up with him, there are even times that i told him that we were done, as he can not commit..then he agreed to respect my decision.. but right next day, i regret and text him to apologize..asked if i could be his friend again.. then he took me back.. actually i was not feeling stupid at all for doing that, as i was doing this for myself.

    Jane, life is too short to waste, if you really want him, then give yourself a chance. do not sit around and go around in cirle guessing how he is going to react.. when i did that with my bull, i did not assume how he is going to react, what he is going to think about me, i did not even think about that at all, if he rejected me, then fine, i got a confirmed a reason to move on instead of lingering around killing myself with all the crazy thought ..

    Jane, my suggestion to you is to just say hello and hope he is doing ok.. or if you have some questions to ask for business purpose, you can use that as an excuse to ask instead of mentioning the real business(relationship), i did that one time with my bull, i texted him to ask him something about the job and i saw an job opening and thought he might be interested in, then he texted me back and thanks for my gesture, then he was back in contact again…

    Jane, stop guessing around, just do what you need to do.. if you feel that he won’t contact you, then you can not let it go this easily, it does not matter how he thinks, you were doing this for yourself…remember, the things happened to Jess, his guy missed her but did not contact her at all until she reached out after a week, and then it took him 3 days to responde.. Jess did this for herself.. we are all doing this for ourself. do it for yourself..then you won’t regret.

    If it were me, i will try to move on, but if i tried but failed. then i took it as a sign for me to do something about it.. then i will do it.. there is always a reason for doing things, either it is not the time to give up or it is the time to give up, but if you do not do it, you will never be able to move on..
    let me know what you think.

  1677. #1677 by Jane on April 7, 2010 - 7:11 pm

    Saggi girl

    Thank you Saggi, I agree I must make a decision and I also agree with what you say about โ€˜for meโ€™ you are right I am finding it hard to move on and I am torturing myself with checking he on dating site, that is not good move I know.

    You are right life is too short, I am thinking I will send him a short email to say hello and hope he is ok, my guy friend just called again to check I am ok and he said I should get myself on dating site as myself so he can see me and show him I am moving on!?

    I do think my email to him has pretty much made it impossible for him to contact me and that is probably why he said he leaving it to me. I am guessing around again as I know nothing for sure!!

    Thank you Saggi, your input means so much.

    I know I cant go on much longer like this, that I do know for sure!!

  1678. #1678 by Jane on April 8, 2010 - 7:36 am

    Saggi girl

    Well saggi I sent email to him, I feel so nervous as I feel I passed all control back to him and he may play about with that. I knew I had to do it as I was driving myself crazy!! Bless you and driving you crazy too!!!

    I went on line first and there he was!!! That upset me as I then thought as he was on it most of last night he must have connected with someone to check his mail this a.m!! yes all speculation I know but yesterday he on there a lot so I am guessing something must be happening.

    I do feel he has gone, I am believing my email wont make any difference to that but it has made me feel better at least, I guess if he doesnโ€™t respond I will be upset with that. I didnโ€™t really say anything for him to respond too!!!
    I just said. โ€˜hi I have been thinking about you, I hope you are smiling and all is well with you, you are a beautiful friend tooโ€™ (he said youโ€™re a beautiful friend in his email) I thought I would say same back to him. That was pretty much all I said.

    What do you think Saggi!!??? Do you think I said enough or should I have asked him a question for him to answer?? I was careful to keep it light and say little and if he responds then go from there.

    I was thinking of setting up profile on dating site, he will see it, do you think that is good idea?? I am trying to move on but do not want him to get wrong impression. Of course I want him, I just believe he is now way out of my reach and I am trying to protect me as I feel so sick and scared of how things may be. It is just horrible. I donโ€™t even know at this stage if we will have โ€˜friendsโ€™ status back never mind anything else. He seems to have moved on, it looks that way doesnโ€™t it!???

    I hope you are good Sagg and you are ok, wish me luck he gets in touch!! Wish myself luck too!!! One way or the other I will know something I guess and that is better than what I have had last few weeks.

  1679. #1679 by Scorplady on April 8, 2010 - 1:34 pm

    Hello ladies!

    Here is what I posted back in January:

    “Hello ladies!

    I was involved off and on with a taurus guy for the past year and let me tell you, HE IS NOT WORTH all the tears, heartache, sleepness nights, stress or anxiety that you all put YOURSELVES through. You CANNOT blame your taurus man or any other man for how he treats you because you are allowing it to happen. YOU are the only one who has full control over you life and who you choose to deal with or entertain.

    This may sting a little but maybe โ€˜Heโ€™s Just Not That Into Youโ€™. Please do yourself a favor and sit back and stop everything that you are doing to try and get that taurus man where you want him and ask yourself, โ€œIf I have self-love and self-respect, why would I be doing this to myself?โ€ Let him GO!!! If he comes back to you CORRECT, then, he will be yours.

    All of you ladies, deserve a man who will treat you like gold and the Queenโ€™s that you are. If you truly love yourself, you would put all the back and forth to an end and start living your life and being happy. Never sacrifice YOUR happiness for ANYONE!

    I know some of you donโ€™t want to hear this but if I help just one on you ladies, Iโ€™m happy.

    Take care ladies! Live and enjoy your life and donโ€™t waste unnecessary timeโ€ฆtake it from one woman who knows.”

    Now, let’s fast forward…

    I decided to walk away and let go of my Taurus back in November. I just could not take the ignoring and disappearing acts any longer. I stopped calling, texting, emailing, etc., all together and when I would see him around at work(which is barely) I would just wave, smile and keep walking, this is something I’ve never done, but I was serious this time. About 2 months went by without NO contact whatsoever on both our parts and I was cool with that because I started meeting and talking to other guys.
    So, one day I happened to run into him and I was smiling and happy and didn’t give him any attitude because my mind was focused on other things(and boy did it feel good!). Long story short, he told me that he did not blame for no longer being his friend. After that convo I still kept my same demeanor and did not get excited.

    Oh goodness there is so much more that has happened since then but really don’t feel like typing all of it…LOL! But I will say that he no longer ignores me, he comes to me and seeks me out, he calls me baby(which he has NEVER done before), he seems to really be concerned about my life and what’s going on in it and told me that he is here to listen if I need to talk. He’s asked me if I was single to mingle and that he’s just waiting to free up some of his time to take me out because he does not want to treat me like a cheap thrill.

    Ladies PLEASE LISTEN to me!!

    Even after his drastic change in behavior, I still maintain an aloof and nonchalant attitude toward him but at the same time let him know that I’m interested. I don’t ask him when or if we’re going out or bring up the past, I’ve just been very sweet and understanding with him without being clingy and overbearing. The key to hook your Taurus is to let him lead and be in control of the relationship and learn how to control your emotions. When he does not call you back or reply to a text or email don’t take it personal because it’s not you, it’s just that his focus is on something else that’s going on in his life and it’s a must to give them their SPACE. If he has feelings for you and is interested, he will definitely come back for you when he has life together and decides that you are the woman for him. Remember, the more you let go of him, the more he will want to hold on to you. It ‘s all about controlling your emotions, ladies.

    My Taurus just bought a house and is really doing well in his life. He even told me that he’s going to invite me to his housewarming and asked me if I would come. Again, I don’t ask or mention anything when it comes to us spending time together because I know it will happen when he can treat me like a Queen and I appreciate that because I deserve the best. Oh yeah, he even told me that he appreciates me(that one was a shocker!!). I mean it’s like he’s starting to open up to me which he never did before. There is no big news YET, but I know it’s just right around the corner for sure and I will let you know when it does happen.

    Note to self….Taurus’ move verrrry SLOW but when he is 100% sure the bull will come charging at you…LOL! ๐Ÿ™‚

  1680. #1680 by saggi girl on April 8, 2010 - 7:21 pm

    Jane,

    sorry to get back to you late as i was busy with a job fair this morning and just got back to my office.

    i am glad that you sent that email out, and the message is very good to me as it shows your courtersy and caring nature.. you are perfectly handling this so far… right now, just sit back and enjoy the ride either he respondes to you or not, as with eitherw way you know what to do instead of wasting time to figure him out.. that is not something i would like myself to do..

    hang in there, Jane. keep me posted… remember, you are good..

  1681. #1681 by saggi girl on April 8, 2010 - 7:32 pm

    Scorplady,

    “When he does not call you back or reply to a text or email donโ€™t take it personal because itโ€™s not you, itโ€™s just that his focus is on something else thatโ€™s going on in his life and itโ€™s a must to give them their SPACE. If he has feelings for you and is interested, he will definitely come back for you when he has life together and decides that you are the woman for him. Remember, the more you let go of him, the more he will want to hold on to you. It โ€™s all about controlling your emotions, ladies. ”

    thanks for sharing with us.. it is so true..especially when you mentioned that the more you let go of him, the more he will want to hold on to you. it is all about controlling the emotions..

    Glad that you are doing well..

  1682. #1682 by Jane on April 8, 2010 - 10:16 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi Saggi and thank you it is so good you are here even though you busy it is very helpful so thank you to you.

    He did not reply to me at all!!!
    I set up profile on dating site with my picture also and I must admit they are very flattering pictures even though I say so myself!!! I am sure he will be shocked when he sees that as I would never put a picture there before and he knew that as I felt shy about it!! Lol
    He will see it for sure as I am in his โ€˜matchesโ€™ and we fit in each others category so he will always see me and I will always see him!!! OMG!! I do not know how that will be. I felt upset at first, I mean upset that it was bad to him and then my friend and sister pointed out to me that โ€˜I owe him nothingโ€™ and he there himself without considering me at all!!

    I am wondering if that is why he has not responded to email!!??
    I am missing him so much and I have so many messages to answer on the site already and just do not feel I am ready to, I am deffinatly not actively looking for anyone at the moment, of course I am hoping โ€˜my bullโ€™ comes back!! How funny if he sent me message on dating site!!! Somehow I donโ€™t see that happening!!

    I have to assume I am not going to hear from him again, a horrible thought but I canโ€™t do anything else, I have reached out and it is up to him to grab hold!!
    I hope he doesโ€ฆ.!!

    Thank you Saggi for your support, you are a real friend and what ever happens I would like to keep in touch with you. I feel tearful now saying that as I donโ€™t think I will be here much longer in same capacity!! How terrible, I have come so far with him, that thought breaks my heart!!

  1683. #1683 by saggi girl on April 8, 2010 - 11:04 pm

    Jane.

    i am very happy that you put your profile on that dating site, it shows your confidence and love yourself enough to move on.. do not worry how he is going to react when he sees it, like your sister said, you owe him nothing.

    everyone has the right to love or not to love, you respect him enough to say the farewell to make a closure, if he does not want to contact you, then it is fine, at least you did this for yourself.. right now, you are ready to move on.. i think it is a great message to pass on to him.. Jane, do not worry how he thinks, remember, you did what you need to do, right now, it is his turn to grab the rest…

    but at the same time, i am sure that he will responde to you sooner or later, he needs to think about how he responds to your message, as it will decide his next move.. so, hang in there, you are doing good.

    man always respect the woman who respect themselves.. what you have done so far has already showed enough your character–self respect. it is very important..

    hugs and kisses.. chin up. jane, it is not the end of the world.

  1684. #1684 by Mia on April 8, 2010 - 11:31 pm

    Hey Saggi, Jane,

    Don’t have much time here, but long story short, our usual place we go to we can’t go to afterall, but will probably in a few weeks, it’s okay, the problem is my stubborn bull seemingly does not want to do anything else with me? u already know I called him this morning to make sure we still on, and he started in shrugging shoulders and i knew it meant cuz we could not have a normal place. hey i so totally understand that, really i do, no problem. my problem was that he doesn’t want to see me at all? lollllll…. yup, i have to laugh…

    i did text him to say hey i have all weekend we could still do this or that… just for one night, but he did not reply… i tried calling him later, and hung up and he called me back…

    i bit my tongue and just said, it isn’t a problem, we can do another time, i’m busy this weekend, need to get stuff done but may still want to fish somewhere… he was like “k” and we hung up…

    he could easily call me later like, what u doing? or he could just not contact me all weekend. i promise you i never know with him…

    my true self wants to ask him if there is someone else? becuz normally he responds quickly to my texts, now only to half my texts he replies to … a lot not at all… but yet, just a couple days ago, he telling me he can’t wiat to see me in some outfit… but he talks softly with me now…. that tells me he cares more, he is very nice with me now… then i start thinking he is nice cuz he has another gal on side? lolllllllll i get paranoid… then want to say i thought u wanted to see me in you know outfit… cuz we havne’t had a chance to get away yet, not once since new years… yup. we see each other and run errands togheter…

    but he so had his heart on this trip..

    gotta go… i will be calm and go on and let him come to me.

    love and kisses xoxox
    so sorry in a hurry now….

    jane hang in there… ๐Ÿ™‚ you go jane! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    xoxoxoxoxox

    will let you know thanks saggi and jane, you’re my rock ๐Ÿ™‚

  1685. #1685 by Scorplady on April 9, 2010 - 12:05 am

    Saggi girl,

    Thanks! Yes, it is very true and it works wonders when you just let go and let nature take its course. I believe that things work in your favor when you stop trying so hard to make it happen on your own. Once you realize your worth, that is when your Taurus will know how much you are worth. I’m so content right now because I know and feel that my Taurus is geniune and wants things to be perfect before we move our relationship to the next level.

    All is well my dear, always remember that! ๐Ÿ™‚

  1686. #1686 by Mia on April 9, 2010 - 6:08 am

    Hey Saggi, Jane, Scorplady,
    Yes, I grabbed my girlfriend and went out not thinking about my guy tonight. He knew I was trying to call him & we spoke once, but after awhile i told myself, just drop it, let him go…

    Maybe Scorplady, in my case he wanted this weekend so perfectly with me, and when a wrench was thrown in, he did not want to do it at all, had nothing to do with how he feels about me. I’m not sure how many gals would last this long. Because i do understand his behavior most of the time, i’m okay, but if i had not happened upon this site, i would have left long ago ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Jane, sweetie, you can’t leave us but i understand ur heartache. Ur so smart, gorgeous and intelligent, hang in there and i do understand how ur heart is not in the dating thingee, but u will be attracting lots of guys and him too (i think in the long run ๐Ÿ™‚

    sending hugs and kisses to you xoxox

    mia
    xoxoxo

  1687. #1687 by Scorplady on April 9, 2010 - 12:43 pm

    Mia,

    Yes, I agree. If your Taurus has planned an outing or a date with you and something comes up especially in his personal life, he will back out. BUT, when the time is right for him again he will come to you and honestly, you have to respect and appreciate a man that wants things to be right for you.

    Sometimes us women just want everything from the man you love and want NOW but there are times in our lives that we must focus on ourselves and make sure we are eating, sleeping, loving and thinking in a healthy manner. Once this happens I can almost guarantee that the one you love will be standing right there when you look up.

    Also, keep in mind that Taurus is an earth(also Virgo and Capricorn)and earth signs are very practical and take their precious time to decide what and who they want because once they commit to something or someone, that’s it for them. Taurus’ need and want security and stability and that’s what they look for when it comes to relationships because they are in it for the long haul. My Taurus once told me that he is not looking for a piece of a*s but something that’s going to last AND this is why they take their time to commit. Lots of Patience is need when dealing with these kind of men.

    Peace and blessings!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  1688. #1688 by Jane on April 9, 2010 - 2:56 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi saggi and thank you so much for your lovely words as usual, you make me feel so much better.

    It doesnโ€™t feel good on the site, my heart is with him and I canโ€™t let go!! I know you are right I owe him nothing, but it feels so bad.

    I saw him on line this morning and I am sure he has checked my profile out, I am thinking that maybe is why he has not replied to my email!?
    I thought he may have at least said โ€˜helloโ€™ back to me. I am so upset about that. I hate seeing him on the site, my god I just want this to reverse!

    There are guys 6 so far leaving me messages, I canโ€™t bring myself to respond. It is not fair to them either because my heart is not in it, although it is giving me a self esteem boost, which I need right now.

    Saggi, I know you of course donโ€™t know my guy, or can know for sure any outcome anymore than I can but in your experience, even with your bull, do you think me being on this site could back fire on me in terms of him seeing me there, hating it and thinking I have forgotten him!?? I would hate for him to think that. I do hope he sees that I am having self respect and moving on like he has led me to do.
    My heart is pining for him and its so crazy as it was not that long ago I was like a โ€˜love sick puppyโ€™!! Remember??
    I know you are right saggi that I have done what I needed to do and it now up to him to grab hold if he wishes, its just so hard. I agree I need to give him time to respond, I just hope I havenโ€™t blown it being on site!?

    Do you have lovely plans to see your bull this weekend saggi? Is your study over now? My goodness my study has been truly neglected for too long!! I will be in trouble if I donโ€™t get on to it. I cant concentrate when my mind is upset, difficult for me. Hugs..

  1689. #1689 by Mia on April 9, 2010 - 3:27 pm

    Jane,

    Oh so sorry for your situation, my heart aches for what u are going through… Saggi is best on that advice but know i am thinking of you and u are in my prayers, giving you lots of love and hugs. you sound so like me i can’t work when i am upset, hard to study yes, i have to have it solved and feel better to work best.

    sending you lots of love and support!!!!! and hugs to you!!!!!

    Scorplady,
    Thank you! yeah i just leave him be and go on and do the stuff i need to do and get lots of sleep and take care of my stuff…

    the place we normally go to was shut down just for this weekend only and he did not want to go anywhere else. i had just taken the day off today and all weekend to be with him for this and i logically assume he still might want to see me sometime this weekend, and i was not too smart to mention that. usually i say, oh well another time and i did… but i text him that we could still do something else if he likes… he didnt reply, so next time we spoke i said i did not wnat to pressure him and i had stuff i needed to be doing anyway this weekend and we can do another time… he was like okay… and we hung up.

    but that was after he invited me to easter dinner at his parents house with his entire family… so he goes hot to cold and i’m learning that is just how he is.

    hugs and peace to you too…
    mia

  1690. #1690 by saggi girl on April 9, 2010 - 3:42 pm

    Jane,

    sorry to hear that you felt down this morning. i think the thing is that if he truly wanted to be your friend, he should at least act as a friend, then he should have at least say hello back to you; if he does not want to be so called friend, then he should put his act together to reach out to you since he hurted you in the first place, not you. even though you felt hurt but you still reach out to him to leave the door open, you did everything you can, what else he expected you do? beg him to come back?? i don’t know how my bull will react to it, but i think he will feel shocked or feel bad at least with tiny bit of it if he saw it when he still have the feeling for me. but Jane, you can not keep assusming how he felt, and kept asking youself: did he feel bad because I did this? did he move on already because i did this? was he disappointed because of what i did? what if i did not put my profile online, would he have contacted me already?? i used to do that, but nothing works like that. we are not living inside of them, so stop figuring out how he is going to do??
    Jane, just give him time, right now, you did everything you can, if he can not put himself together, then let him be for now.. I am so sure that he will contact you.. jane. trust me on this..i know it.

  1691. #1691 by saggi girl on April 9, 2010 - 3:55 pm

    Jane,

    as for if i am going to spend time with my bull this weekend, i do not know yet. we haven’t talk yet..it seems that he went back to old habbit again—TEXTING.. yeah, he has been texting me for good night..i felt into sleep last night, he texted me afterwards, but it woke me up.. then i falled back into sleep.. but then after 20 minutes, i texted him back as i don’t want him to think that i ignored him because of this.. i know it is crazy.

    I guess we talked too much last sunday.. we were like talking non-stopped for a few hours before he left.. i guess he was used to texting me..well, i will let it go.. at least he texted me every night before he went to bed.. which means he thought about me before he went to bed???LOL

    I know i am kind of crazy..as i did used to call him even at the begining of the dating.. i reached out to him only for a few times during the whole course of being together for over 2 years…i was thinking what if he stopped calling or texting one day to see if i am going to call or text?? it might take a few days for me to reach out to him to figure out what is going on..LOL

  1692. #1692 by Jane on April 9, 2010 - 4:25 pm

    Saggi girl

    You are so precious sweet saggi, youโ€™re my little angel! Lol
    I get so much strength from your words, its like you cast your sweet saggi spell on me and I am ok!!!! That sounds funny but there is truth in there believe me.
    I hope so deep in my heart that he does come back, realise it is me he wants, goodness these bulls take forever to do anything!!!

    Hey, have you heard the saying, โ€˜all good things come to those who waitโ€™. I am waiting!!! Cant do much else when itโ€™s a bull you want eh!!??

    You make a valid point saggi when you say if he wants to truly be โ€˜justโ€™ my friend and nothing else then he should at least reach out for that, after all he continued to tell me what โ€˜a beautiful friendโ€™ If that is true then me being on dating site should not bother him right!!?? If though, he has deep down wanted more than โ€˜friendsโ€™ which I know he has really (hidden by his bullshit!!) then the site will bother him and he should reach out to prevent losing me to someone else right!!?? Oh what a beautiful theory!! Lol if only it works!!!!!
    I will once again sit it out. I am getting good at that!
    Saggi you know me so well, I am assuming this and that and analysing everything!! I believe what you say, I can not do any more. It is his call. Thank you xx

    I know saggi you much prefer your guy to call and not text but hey, every night he is thinking of you and that matters very much. I know you do similar to me and second guess why the text and not a call and to him he wont even see the difference!! He will wonder why the fuss so yes I agree let it go, you are well and truly in his head before he goes to sleep therefore in his sweet dreams my dear, you can be sure of that saggi, ah he loves you I just feel it. You are doing amazing, you have gone the longest of all of us here and your guy is never far from your side, that proves how special you are as we all know, these bull men just donโ€™t settle for anyone!!! Bless you saggi and thank you for being โ€˜youโ€™ xx

    Keep me posted, keep you posted tooโ€ฆ

  1693. #1693 by Jane on April 9, 2010 - 4:38 pm

    Mia

    Hi Mia, hey โ€ฆhe goes hot to cold and Iโ€™m learning that is just how he isโ€ฆ yes Mia that is just how he is, but he has invited you to spend time with his family!! WOW!!! Big move for Taurus, you are doing so great. Chill, let him lead, so important, donโ€™t push him. All the crazy on off up down this bull caused for you, is starting to come together, keep with it Mia, youโ€™ll get there. Remember, keep shining as you do. Thank you for your support Mia x

  1694. #1694 by saggi girl on April 9, 2010 - 5:16 pm

    Jane,

    i am glad that you are feeling better.. i will keep up with the good work to make you feel better..LOL

    i forgot to share with you about something my bull shared with me on last sunday.. he told me that he had a dream on last saturday, when he saw his late mom and his dad, his ex and me.. then he was very happy in the dream, and then all of the sudden, a strong wind blew everything into scatter.. he said that everything is scattered.. he got so confused what that means.. then he was in that mood describing to me about his dream, then out of the blue i interrupted him by asking” am i pretty in your dream?” then he was very disappointed and said” jesus, forget it.” then i was like” come on, i was just kidding.” then he was like” no, it was very serious stuff that i shared with you, you are just like that.. forget it.” then he refused to continue to share, then i changed to another topic right away… he was ok in a few minutes.. Jesus, i was just kidding and still do not understand why he got upset..LOL

  1695. #1695 by Jane on April 10, 2010 - 7:48 am

    Saggi girl

    Hi Saggi, yes it is true for certain โ€˜bull menโ€™ act their way and leave us speechless!! Lol
    It is like you disturbed him in his explanation and tht is it, a tantrum breaks out!!! He doesnโ€™t like it, I mean goodness you asked him a simple question. Ah I do not think they realise how they look/sound at times and really do not mean it, its just their way after all!!! I mean they donโ€™t like drama and its them that do it!! Lol You handled that very well saggi and to your advantage I am sure!!

    Something horrible happened last night, I felt so sick.
    I went on the site, he wasnโ€™t there and then at about 11pm,I looked at my profile and guess who was there on line looking at my profile!!???
    I just got upset, I know its stupid of me but it felt like to me that he would hate seeing my picture there for any other man to see, it felt horrible an I know he has his picture there for any other woman to see its just he knows how I am, having my pictures there (4 in all) is not something I would have done before as I feel too shy about it, but I do like these pictures of myself and usually do not like getting picture taken!

    I am laughing in one picture, sitting down in others all dressed up glamorous and smiling. I just know he will be shocked, they are very ladylike pictures proper pictures of course but I am worried that he will think I am over him as I must be serious to put picture on site!!??
    As soon as I realised he was looking a it, I went off line, I checked my email this morning and he hasnโ€™t replied!! I am so gutted.

    Saggi, I know I am analysing and guessing again but this is in my mind constantly! I am only on this site to prove a point to him, I donโ€™t even want to be there!! Its him I want. I am hoping he knows it.

    He is going to take a while with this isnโ€™t he saggi? As you said though, if he truly only ever wanted my friendship then he will reach out for that and I feel wont be bothered with me being on site (why should he if I am only โ€˜friendโ€™!) If though he sees me as more than โ€˜friendโ€™ then it is going to bother him but saggi, that is my fear, what if I have blown it and he sees me now as flirting with other men (which I am not) I am answering messages politely but that is all!
    I cant help the guessing this and that, I am so worried. I must calm down I know. I am trying hard to thing about all you have said that makes perfect sense to me and I know I can not do anything. I did have a thought of messaging him on site!! Like โ€˜hi,read your profile you sound interestingโ€™!! YES I know tht is crazy!! OMG I hate this its killing me. I am not having a good time with thi and just miss him o bad, forgive me saggiโ€ฆxx

  1696. #1696 by saggi girl on April 10, 2010 - 1:44 pm

    jane,

    i have been thinking most recently why we were like that when we are with them.. always worrying about how they are going to see us, if we are at our best, if they are really on the same level as we are when it comes to feeling for each other..then we are trying to figure out every move that they made to see if it means something, every move of their action cause our heart attack…but in general, they are just them just like we are we.. but the only difference here is that we are into them more than they are into us including myself, i hate to admit that i am into him more than he was into me.. Jane, dating bull is a whole new theory for me, but deep inside that i feel that they are still man in general, who will chase after what they like, who will show to someone they love.. the reason they are slow to us is that they are not sure about us, in another word is that they are not that into us.. as my bull told me one time that he got married with his wife as he felt in love with her.

    i was talking to my bull last time, i remembered that he was telling me” if a man is in love with you, he will stop looking around and will commit.” then i thought about myself, wow, if that is the case, what his action says to me..so, Jane, i don’t know if you understand or not, but i think we can not force love..if he really wanted you, he will come to you even though he is a bull…

    Jane, i know how you feel, i have been there and done that with my bull, i left all the door open and even window in case he can not get in.. but if he does not want to get in, no matter what you do, he will be just wondering around..

    Jane, i know it is hard to move on when you have someone in your heart, but it might not meant to be..i know it is hard to let it go especially after a year together..but what else you can do?? beg him to come back?? can you do that?? i don’t think that is who you are..leave it to him, if he wants to come back, he is an adult, he knows his way, you do not have to hold his hand step by step pointing out his way to you unless he wants you to..
    Actually i have been there when i broke up with my bull long time ago, i even offered to have friend with benefit in order to get him back to my arm.. then he told me that he doubted it, and he will think about it.. as he thought that will hurt me.. i do not know what i was thinking by the time, i guess i did not see the sign that he was not just that into me.. even though he was back now with me for whatever the reason is, it was just temporary happiness when i think about it nowdays.. as he was still unsure about me after 2 years as it was not something he really wanted… do you understand what i mean? Jane. do not force anything as it will be temporary happiness fulfilled. let him come to you, then it will be forever..

    i know you missed him so bad, but you have to be strong and brave when you need to be..right now, it is the time..

  1697. #1697 by Jane on April 10, 2010 - 6:14 pm

    Saggi girl

    Bless you for being so wonderful saggi, you are right, I have done all I can do and left a door for him, it is up to him to walk in. I am most certainly not ever going to beg, that I would never do, I would rather be alone forever than do that!

    Yes I love him with all my heart and what is done is done, I mean me on dating site, pictures of me there, him on dating site, all the hurt of last few weeks, it is all fact and cant now be changed. I do have to be brave and move on with out him. I can not keep torturing myself with this, does he want me does he not!!??? If he TRULY wants me deep in his heart then he will find me, you are right. I am crying so bad right now, but I know it is true.

    It is my sisters wedding next Saturday; he was coming with me and meeting all my entire family!! I am heartbroken about that, he wanted that and said how he was looking forward to it, I donโ€™t get it. My only regret is me being on web site with pictures too may put him off coming back to me, double standards I guess as he had picture on site too!! Its just you know how these guys view woman they care about, they do not like other men in the situation and see it as a turn off, even though I am not seeing anyone at all, and have no intentions of doing so while I am in love with him, I would not want him to see me โ€˜differentโ€™ I have not changed in any way.

    Saggi, I appreciate so much how you share your experiences with me, all the asking you have done with your bull and co workers, it has all meant so very much, thank you saggi from the bottom of my heart, I feel I have found a real friend, I mean that. I will be ok and it is thanks to your support and insight that has led me and gave me strength along the way. I really would have been so very lost with out you.

    Donโ€™t you get down hearted saggi, your guy loves you dearly, you said yourself how their very slow approach is all about there caution and being sure about things it is not a reflection on you, its his issues that he step by step is dealing with which in turns brings him closer to you, 2 and half years!! He is not there just to pass the time saggi, you know that. You are doing so well with him, as we both know how tough they are to deal with at times. You are much calmer with things than you where in the past, I am sure that has scored you points! Lol

    You are an amazing person and I feel very privileged that I have met you through being here.
    Goodness me saggi, I am sobbing like a baby!! OMG I must calm down!! Crazy woman!!

    I am not ready to leave here yet, I want to keep talking with you and the other wonderful ladies here for a while at least and updated how you are doing.

    Thank you my sweet Saggi xxxx

  1698. #1698 by saggi girl on April 10, 2010 - 7:05 pm

    Jane,

    oh, jane, do not cry..i really hope we are living next door and then we can cry together, LOL..remember the movie “sex and city”, on the new year day, carrie visited the other lady when they were all alone.. i like that scene, the snow flake was falling down and she was sleeping in her bed…all of the sudden, the phone rang… it is her friend..i forgot her name..then her friend cried over the phone because she felt lonely.. then carried got up and jumped into a taxi to see her.. when she opened the door, carried said” you are not alone..not alone..” then it hits 12’o’clock.. snow continues to fall down…. and i really liked the song during the scene.. it was so touching…

    Jane, sometimes we all need to be strong. be strong, Jane.. we will be ok..

    one day, when you settled down with your life either with your bull or without him, you will be smiling at whatever happened in the past…saying” oh, god, what a past..”
    Jane, be brave..God will take care of us..

  1699. #1699 by Mia on April 11, 2010 - 7:20 am

    oh sweet Jane,

    i have felt the bitter tinge of those sad salty tears running down my face when posting here many times… especially during my break up after New Yrs Eve. Saggi had the break up too as she says, it is heart wrenching i know, but as Saggi says, God will take care of us. God knows best and you will always always have everything you need with him. Even though it so feels like it God will never forsake you.

    Sometimes, you will find your sweet tears all in vain, for one of these days, let’s say your guy comes back and you’re fine, you will barely remember this time.

    Thank you for your support and love and as you say I’m biting my tongue and not contacting him. it is like he fell off the side of the earth, lol… geez. oh well, i am getting so much done around here, a nice refreshing change, and it takes my mind off him.

    Here is the way i look at it and this may help your perspective.

    The entire time we were broken up, i knew it would not last with the other gal. I had a feeling he would be back, and he was. But regardless, it didn’t matter, you know why? (of course I wanted him back!!!) but in the long run there was something even more important than me wanting him back…

    I wanted him to make sure it was me he really wanted… I wanted him to do whatever he needed to do, and if he came back to me ever again, he would be more sure of himself. He did, and he’s stayed. That tells me that even though we are not an official couple yet… he has pretty much looked through his “pool” of women options and has decided i’m still at the top of his list for now… and my thing is like i told you before, i do not wish to have a guy that doesn’t want me around and it is up to him to let me get me interested in him, not the other way around.

    so sweet jane, you do what you need to do as far as the site goes, and try to remember your objective for being on the site. is it to win him back? or is it to date guys? so sorry, i am wanting u to think of urself and your sweet precious autonomy. i’m starting to think like this from now on… is this something Mia wants to do or needs to do? not is this something my guy would like for me to do? i used to find myself making decisions through what he would want instead of what i want or need to do for myself…

    when you start thinking “do what Jane needs to do” and start living it, then that is when he will show up;)

    you can and please don’t leave this site. remember our rocks!!!!! lol… Saggi & Jess, totally our rocks ๐Ÿ™‚ and they happen to rock too! hee hee…

    sweet beautiful Jane, be calm cool and collected, ok, just pretend for now, lol… but you can and i so hope you get some sleep!!! xoxox mia

  1700. #1700 by Jane on April 11, 2010 - 9:47 am

    Saggi girl

    Saggi yes I remember the sex in the city film so well!! I loved it and I remember the scene you talk about and a very touching scene saggi you are right!! I too wish we lived closer, hey you, me jess and mia can be carrie, Miranda, charlotte and Samantha!!!!! How funny, I am laughing so loud right now!!!
    Instead of โ€˜sex in the cityโ€™ we can call our film, โ€˜how to catch a bull in one fowl swoop, in the cityโ€™!!!!!! How funny.

    Saggi you are so great, I will be ok, deep down I do know that. It is so hard it almost makes you feel I never want to fall in love again! Just too hard.
    Maybe he will be back maybe he wont, up to him I know but saggi I strongly believe in the theory you said that if he REALLY I mean REALLY only wanted friendship with me, then he will have no problem reaching out and offering me that right!!??!!
    I know in my heart that โ€˜friendsโ€™ was his protection and his bullshit way of keeping me at arms length. I guess the question he is asking himself is โ€˜what can I offer her at his stageโ€™ that is is battle in his head. He knows where I am. He has not been active on the site since seeing my profile. So I am moving on, he can catch me up if he wishes.I know I can not keep suffering this way.

    Saggi, thank you once again, I am hoping you and your bull getting together, goodness the week ends come around so quick!!
    Keep smiling saggi, you are doing great.
    Love and hugs to you my sweet friend xx

  1701. #1701 by Jane on April 11, 2010 - 10:08 am

    Mia

    Hi Mia, how very sweet you are I truly appreciate all the support you have given me, I really mean that.
    I know that you, just like saggi know exactly how I am feeling, you both understand so clear and you are both so right in your words.
    You are right mia, I totally agree that the most important thing is if he comes back then great, I would then know it was what he truly wanted, I know I would not want him bak any other way than that. So I am giving him that breathing space, to miss me, comprehend is move (if he does or not) know I have done all that I can, the rest now is up to him. As saggi said, he is a grown man and s more than capable of finding his own way.

    Mia you are right that there is a large part of me that is only on the site to equal him, it is him I want as you know. I know he can check me and I can check him, not a healthy move I know as it will drive me crazy but for now it is helping me, I am not interested in dating anyone, not yet anyway. I am chatting to one or two guys but that is it and to be honest it is doing wonders for my self esteem at the moment and that is a good thing.
    I hope you are right mia, โ€˜do what Jane wants to do, start livingโ€™ and he may show up!! That would be great, I am not going to sit around and wait, for now I guess I am and that feels right. I will move on for real when I can, I will know when tht time comes I am sure.
    Thank you once again Mia, keep up the good work with your guy,its working, he is moving in the right direction and that is what counts. So happy for you.

    I am not leaving here yet, I want to know how my girls are doing!! Lol I have gotten so close to you ladies, yes โ€˜ROCKโ€™ indeed!!
    Hugs Mia xx

  1702. #1702 by saggi girl on April 11, 2010 - 12:01 pm

    Jane,

    it is so good to hear your “up” spirit, i know it will”down” again, but do not worry, it is always ups and downs..LOL

    i was laughing out loud when you say we are carrie, Miranda, charlotte and Samantha with the order of me, you, Jess and Mia.. then all of the sudden, i realized that Mia is Samantha….heehee, Mia is so like Samantha..hahahaha…so funny( sorry, mia to pick on you)..

    yes, it is true that he will be no problem to offer you the friendship since he said that you are a beautiful friend even though he saw you on line.. so, actually it proves that he wanted more than friend too… right now, he was in shock and got jealous, I guess.. this ass better get his together, otherwise, Jane will be gone to other sweet man…funny.. how terrible for him to feel.. he deserves it.

    Jane, so far, you are doing great.. you are doing much better than i did before.. too bad, i did not find the site by the time when i offered my” friend with benefit”, hehehehe.. so silly.

    Jane, Mia has a point: doing this for who?? yes, do this for who? for yourself.. i need to learn that too.. very good. Samantha has a point..LOL

    as for me, yes, i am seeing my bull today… he called me last night.. i was holding up on calling him after this week of sending text messages..i was so mad but i did not call him and actually i did not reply to his text message on friday night….then i did not call on saturday even though i reached the phone a few times, but i was telling myself” forget it.. why doing that?? can not keep it on like that. he needs to realize something..” then i was ready to go to sleep by 10pm, he called and he was kind of nervous on the phone, he was like” hi baby, how are you?” then i was like” ok, i am good.” then he was like” oh, good, very good.” then i was silent, then he was like” oh, good.” Jesus, then i was thinking to myself” why he said that twice..hehehe, run out of word.” then he was like” did you receive my text message last night.” i was like” yeah, i did.’ then he was like” why didn’t you text me back?” i was like” oh, i didn’t feel well.” he was like” ok, but you still can text me back, right?” then i was like” yeah, i guess.” then i blurred out how i felt again like” i felt being ignored..and if he was dating other girls, he would have been dumped long time ago..” then he was laughing like” come on, so i am a bad boyfriend..” then i was like” yeah, you are.” then he was like” alright, baby, i did not ignore you at all as i texted you every nights, but i will make sure that i call you a couple times during the week, but you know, sometimes, i got home late and was very tired. but anyways, i will.” then i was like” you should..othewise, i won’t reply to your text anymore.. i don’t care the combination of text and call but only text is not acceptable for me.. it is like we are in a texting relationship.. then why you text me.. you can text whoever..” then he was like” jesus, alright, alright, i got it..take it easy..” then he was like” do you miss me?” then i was like” no..” he was like” come on..” and then i asked him” do you?” he was like” yes, i do, i missed you a lot, a lot.” then i was like” cut it out. action speaks louder than word..your action tells me a different story.” then he was blah blah..”how he has been thinking about me earlier…” jesus, such a bullshit..

    anyways, he said that he will see me today after he gets off the class.. hopefully there will be no drama..

  1703. #1703 by Jane on April 11, 2010 - 1:45 pm

    Saggi girl

    Oh saggi I need you again!!! My โ€˜downโ€™ moment came back too quick!! I went on site earlier; there he was few minutes later he was gone!! I feel sick every time I see him there, I cant bare this, yes I am doing it foe all the wrong reasons, I cant help it I love him, I am crying so bad I just feel so helpless.

    Saggi is this crazy, I was thinking of emailing him to ask why he has ignored my โ€˜lightโ€™ email to him I only said I hope you ok was thinking of you blah blah. I was thinking of saying something on the lines of โ€˜I thought we where friendsโ€™ (wink,wink) wink is for you and me saggi as we know the bullshit!!
    โ€˜I am surprised you have not accepted that from me as it was what you said you wantedโ€™ then โ€˜I have had, just like you, a few weeks to look over things and I realise we wanting different things and I thought it best I move on that is why I am on the siteโ€™. Saggi I feel I want to reach out to him again and explain why I am there, I know I do not owe him any explanation as its is bullshit behaviour in the first place that lost me, but something in my heart is telling me to say something to him.
    Now that he has seen me on the site, I am wanting to โ€˜put my cards on the tableโ€™ one last time and tell him how I feel I know my reason for feeling this now at this moment is I know he is hating me on site just like I am hating him there, he is so stubborn and I know this โ€˜self protectionโ€™ they do so well he will not now come to me as he will fear the rejection. Yes I agree he is a grown man, but saggi do you think I should still leave it to him? Maybe I havnโ€™t given him long enough to respond yet? I am thinking the more he sees me on the site he will withdraw further and yes I know if he wants me then he should find me but its like I want one last try!!?? OMG am I crazy?? I fell crazy I just know how very sensitive he is, I cant bare for him to think I have already moved on.
    Oh my head hurts!!!
    I feel so strong,then feel so weak!! Horrible. Of course I would only ever want him to come back if he truly wanted me, I am thinking does he need another nudge from me or am I done!!??

    Saggi I laughed so hard at the sex in the city!!! OMG I did not realise the order I said the names!!!! How funny!!! Sorry Mia, I agree with saggi that one is you!! Ah that made me laugh so much! Great.

    I am so happy you getting together with your bull today saggi, hey you did so well there with the text/phone thing, you got your point across and I would think saggi that as you held it together, he appreciate that and now more likely to call you as he knows how you much prefer it!! How sweet.โ€™โ€ฆso I am a bad boyfriendโ€™ hee hee he knows it upset you and he being playful with you to prevent the drama build up!! Lol He knows you and you know him, saggi you handle him so well and he knows it!!! Great. Have a great time saggi whatever it is you do, hey no arguments about โ€˜eating in eating out!!! Lol you know how he loves you ribs in plum sauce!! Lol lol

    Hugs sweet saggi xx

  1704. #1704 by saggi girl on April 11, 2010 - 2:02 pm

    Jane,

    i would think that you could send him a message next time he was online, you can say” hi, do not ignore me.. i thought we were friend. wink wink wink.” then you wait and see what he is going to say.. do no pour everything out in another email.. do not do that. promise??

    if he does not reply to you, which means he was pissed and hurt… sorry that i am so happy if he feels hurt..

    Jane, you are uphanded now and you are on a dating site just like he is.. he has been saying to be friend, right now, you gave everything he wanted, but he did not reply to your email, i would think either he was trying to figure out what he is going to do next, or just simply pissed seeing you ove the site..

    Jane, no worry, it seems that he does not have luck on line, otherwise, he wouldn’t keep coming back to the site, maybe he wants to see if you were there.. Jane, not a lot of woman can handle those bull’s bullshit, he will come back.. no worry, next time, when you see him online, just simply say what i said above.. do not use serious tone…understand?? see if he respond..

  1705. #1705 by Jane on April 11, 2010 - 2:46 pm

    Saggi girl

    I drafted email, yes you are right I did โ€˜pour outโ€™ a bit so I guess that will not be good. Saggi I donโ€™t think I send message on dating site, doesnโ€™t feel right because to say donโ€™t ignore me we are โ€˜friendsโ€™arnt we? Is like I am inviting him to chat there and it doesnโ€™t seem right because it is there and a dating site. It seems strange to leave a message to him there, because it feels different. Do you know what I mean? It is hard to explain it clear. I agree I could say, โ€˜hi, I thought we where friendsโ€™. When I have said to him in the past,โ€™why do you ignore meโ€™ he not happy and always responds, โ€˜I would never ignore you in a million yearsโ€™ or โ€˜why do you say I am ignoring you,far from itโ€™ you see saggi, he will only respond like he just taking his time!!!

    Do you think if I email VERY brief and say this, โ€˜hi I was waiting for your reply to my email, I thought we where friends, my email to you was so you would know I am ok with thatโ€™ (my god it has to be better than this!) I agree what you said a few posts back saggi that friends may hurt me down the line, that may be true and I really donโ€™t know if I can handle that. I believe deep down my reason for wanting to email him now is to let him know I have not moved on as I am worried about that, if he says โ€˜look I do not want to be with youโ€™ ouch that would hurt but I would then for sure move on, nothing would stop me then.
    Saggi, so sorry for going on with this, I sit here tormenting myself with this and that it is so crazy.
    Tell me saggi, why is it you think I should say very little right now to him? It has only been 3 days since I sent the email that he has not responded too!!?

    Saggi I bet your patience is wearing thin with me never mind your bull!!! LOL xx

  1706. #1706 by Jane on April 11, 2010 - 2:55 pm

    Saggi girl

    LOL LOL saggi I just got what you mean!! Ehen I see him on line THEN message him, โ€˜hi, I thought we where friends, you could say hello when you on lineโ€™ hows that saggi!!?? I think tht would feel ok, omething like tht, I agree no serious tone!!

  1707. #1707 by saggi girl on April 11, 2010 - 3:40 pm

    Jane,

    that is right…hehehe, that is what i meant.. no email to him again, as that will seem desperate.. so, wait on line if you see him, then message him like: hi, i thought i am your beautiful friend,LOL”

    Jane, use a little bit humors now. do not use serious tone showing how hurt you are, no, he does not need to see that.. got it?. if you were too serious, he will feel pressured but at the same time showing him your getting yourself together will surprise him.. Just act you are a funny, interesting jane again, that will surprise him and attract him more.. understand??

    man will like that when you are acting interesting and funny.. Jane, no serious tone, promise? unless he mentioned it first.. leave it in the past.

  1708. #1708 by Jane on April 11, 2010 - 4:06 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hey you are like my โ€˜tutorโ€™!!! LOL A good one at that saggi!!! Thank you. Yes I have got it, do not want to seem desperate thatโ€™s or sure!!! Oh saggi why are men just so difficult!!??!!! Actually, is it men or just Taurus!!!???? Oh boy I wish at times I wish I could be a man for a day, just to experience how they think, feel and their crazy bull ass logic!!! How good that would be!! Lol

    I will keep you updated saggi, bless you. Big thank you again. Enjoy your time with your bull. Keep me posted too. xx

  1709. #1709 by Mia on April 11, 2010 - 7:38 pm

    Jane, Saggi,

    Don’t have time to read all your posts, me Samantha, lol, i really never saw sex in the city! yup, i know it is curazy!

    but hey, if what i think happened this weekend, then i’m done.

    yup.

    if a guy wants me he needs to catch me and i will not be used by anyone.. i will let you know, cuz at this point, i may not ever talk with my guy again.

    long story, but i have a sneaky feeling, he went out of town with the gal pal and the friends that he hung around last summer as now my gal friend here tells me he went with them on weekends, the very thing he said he wouldn’t do once… once we were going camping and they all invited him and the gal pal only not me… i said they weresetting him up with her he didn’t believe it and said i don’t like her at all, but just a friend, and now i come to find out he did just what he said he wouldn’t do… we had planned a camping trip and he said if they did not invite me he was not going… all this time since he has gone i think…

    if he went to the place i think he went and gal pal was not at church, then i will NEVER EVER EVERRRRRRRRR speak to him again. he would have to gravel to get me back in his life.

    funny how he can be proud to be iwth them but “hides” me until he decides about me??? are you kidding me????
    uh uh. i have NEVER been used by a guy that was ashamed of me in any way…

    i am so sorry i am livid now and i need to stay this way to stand my ground.

    i do not want to leave this site either if i end it with him. i get encourgaged being around strong women and that is mostly why i am here. not necessarily to get my bull and keep him. it is more so for me to grow into a very healthy relationship with ME as a strong woman with strong healthy standards not to let a guy use me nor mistreat me.
    i am who i am, i am genuine, and now realize that the guy HAS TO COME TO ME NOT me to him.

    maybe i should not be upset, but i am…

    ohhhhhhhhhhhh i have bible study this thursday night, SO HELP MEEEEEEE, if he shows up and sits beside the gal pal and ignores me ALL NITE IN MY OWN HOME while hanging on her every word in front of me, i will not know what to do.

    i swear if he does I WILL MAKE IT A POINT TO TALK WITH THE GUYS! yup i will and gals too, but i will SO BLATENTLY IGNORE HIM.

    i will do it tonight too! we have our first game tonight and because i got him to be coach i have to see him… he wants me to bring my glove for him just incase he needed to play… that was froma message on my phone last week… and i loaned my other glove to gal pal… so they both would be USING MY GLOVES… do you see how naive i am… unbelievable but i don’t take too kindly to a guy that was going to go with me this past weekend only to ditch me and even have the gall to call and ask for the guys number to contact in order for hm to plan the going out of town with him his gal pal and his friends behind my back… ?????

    i will let you know. soooooo why the heck did he invite me to easter dinner with his family???

    i am supposed to smile and be happy when he ignores me in public and talks with gal pal the whole time??? uh uh…

    now he HAS NOT DONE THIS YET… i told you since i have allowed him back he has only been very kind to me… so i may be off here. but i have my intuition and it tells me he willl have SERIOUS consequences if what i suspect is true and the fact that he went with them all suumer last yeare and i never knew it…

    unbelievable… what an idiot i was..

    hmmmmmmmmm… Jane, i may join you on the site!!!!!!!!!!

    i do think i am going to join a dating site and get my cute butt out there…

    i have never in my life had a guy not know he wanted me right after he met me…. the last guy knew the very fist time he laid eyes on me that lasted 2 years, he was a taurus. the one before that the very first time he laid eyes on me that lasted 5 years…. and this guy???? hmmmmmmmm….. a year and he is still placating me??? hmmmmmmm… i’m pretty much done here if this is true….

    giving you strong strong hugs Saggi and Jane!

    mia xoxoxoxox

    you can, do anything through God who strengthens you my beautiful strong women each and every day! God will NEVER forsake you! ever!!! let your guys know YOU are the most important person in your life ๐Ÿ˜‰ and he will treat you that way too…

  1710. #1710 by Mia on April 12, 2010 - 5:30 am

    Saggi, Jane,

    i am calm now, had a great time at game and we won. he spoke to me as he spoke to everyone else. one of my new guy friends (just a friend) actually took up for me in front of my taurus guy. my guy was “getting on to me for something” i don’t even know what, picking on me whatever… and the guy friend said, i took care of it, i told her… somehting like that, but it sounded like he was kind of sticking up for me… pretty cool. and the guy was there that wants to canoe with me and my guy saw him asking if i was going to the restaurant afterwards… i wasn’t but my guy heard us talking… the cool thing was “m” actually said hello to my son by name…. wow. for him that is big. that was respectful.

    reading ur stuff jane and i would tread very lightly with your guy or not communicate at all with him… i think the more you stay away the faster he may come back? mine has not tried to communicate with me at all since i hurried him off the phone earlier.

    he will not ask me what i did this weekend as he knows he can’t tell me what he did… i could have asked him why he was late? hmmmmmmm… i had about 4 missed calls from him all afternoon, when he finally did leave a message i could hear her in the background in his truck on the road…

    i just at this point want to treat him like a smellly bad piece of meat that someone threw in the street, i simply want to step over him and move on.

    i am beginning to think he sabatoges (whether subconsciously or obviously) each relationship he gets close to…

    nite both and all u beautiful ladies.

    mia xoxoxox
    sending you sweet hugs!!!!

    jane, saggi, i still listen to the sweetest message u ever heard from a week ago, just ONE WEEK ago, him inviting me over to his family easter dinner… how he can go from that to this?

    tomorrow shall be the first day of the rest of our lives sweet ladies. make ur world shine by your beautiful smile, you can make it a beautiful,blessed day no matter what. staying at peace, calm, cool and collected … xoxoxox

  1711. #1711 by Jane on April 12, 2010 - 5:30 am

    Saggi girl, Mia

    Oh my god my heart is breaking in two!!!
    You will not believe thisโ€ฆโ€ฆ.

    I was on site last nite, as we said saggi I was waiting to see him on line and say hi.
    Well about 11pm he appeared, I waiting 5minutes and said โ€˜hi, if I am your friend it would be nice to say hello to you xโ€™ That was it all I put. HE IGNORED ME!!!!
    10 minutes later he went off line!!! What is that about!!??? I can not believe he did that. What do I do now!???

    I feel so sick he did that, so 3weeks ago today he emailed me an apology for being on site and said, โ€˜I will take a step back for you to contact me if you wishโ€™ 2weeks and 3days later I sent email, โ€˜hi, thinking of you, hope you smiling and all ok with you, youโ€™re a beautiful friend tooโ€™ NOTHING he didnโ€™t reply, that was 4days ago, then last nite I said โ€˜hiโ€™ again on site this time and he is ignoring me!!!

    This is so awful, I cant believe it, I really do think me being on that site has blown any chance we had of getting back together. I do believe he sees me now as โ€˜damaged goodsโ€™!!! I know how ironic when this was his doing in the first place!!!

    I am getting desperate!!! I know I cant do that but I cant do nothing.
    I know I need to calm down and understand what happened here but I feel I must explain my side of things to him, to let him know that I am only on the site to get over him, I have not messaged any guy since being there (true) I answer messages politly but that is it!!!
    Please help me with this, I cant leave it, I donโ€™t want to sound desperate to him but I am so worried that he thinks I donโ€™t care. I LOVE HIM I feel like kicking his ass that he is putting me through this. It was he who said โ€˜FRIENDSโ€™ so why cant he do that now!!??
    I have to go to work now, I do not know how I am going to get through the day, this is a nightmare!!

    Please give me your honest opinion of what you think he is doing and what you think I should do!???
    I feel so bad. You know how Taurus even when dating do not loke a woman they are interested in to be around other potential men. I know he has no right with this but I would not be surprised if he sees this as me โ€˜ cheating on himโ€™ I know how crazy is that!!?? Oh how can I put this right, or at least try too???

  1712. #1712 by saggi girl on April 12, 2010 - 1:58 pm

    Jane,

    it seems to me that he was avoiding you on purpose, that is for sure..i know you felt hurt right now…but Jane, do you really think that you need to explain to him again about what you were doing??

    I know maybe his ego got bruised for seeing you over there as he thought you were in his palm completely…but Jane, i don’t think you need to explain to him again.. that would be unnecessary, that is just my sense.

    give him time for whatever he needs to think about, you reached out twice already, but if you really need to talk to him about how you felt in order to let it all out, just call him instead asking him why he was so cold to you as you thought you can be friend at least and you felt hurt by his action as if he does not value your friendship..ask him if he wants to be friend or wants no bother from you at all.. i think bulls are very straight forward, if he cares about you, he will tell you, unless he was playing a game and see how you react to his push and pull..

    If this is really hard for you to put it behind, just call and ask him what he wants you to do..if he wants no bother from you, then you will respect. right now, I also hate that he was doing that in this way.. it is really annoying..

    Jane, calm down.. when you call him and do not explain to him why you are on the site unless he asks you about it, Ok? you just simply tell him that you were hurt by hm ignoring you..and you thought that he values the friendship too but it seems that his action was telling you a different thing, and asked him if he felt bothered by you at all or not..

    Jane, do not bottle it up anymore, pick up the phone and call.

  1713. #1713 by Jane on April 12, 2010 - 5:46 pm

    Saggi girl

    Oh what a truly horrible day, I do not know how I got through my day in work, really. Thank you sweet saggi you are my rock, I donโ€™t even know you how mad is that!!
    I agree he ignored me on purpose, I know he does not like me to be there for sure, as you said and you have said the very thing I was thinking, โ€˜he has had me in his palm all alongโ€™ that is true, by his side, taking all the bullshit he through at me, always about him never about, not once. Saggi I have had enough, I am quitting while I have an ounce of self respect left!
    He clearly does not want me, you are so right explaining to him why I on site will just be bordering on desperate!! I am not that! I was even thinking of coming off the site, to prove to him I want him and only him, then I thought, NO why should I!!?? I never considered my feelings and even now his behaviour is awful towards me, very immature ignoring me.

    Of course my feelings are deep for him, I need to get over him and move on,I am heartbroken he does not even want my โ€˜friendshipโ€™ what bullshit!!! I am not ready to date anyone else but I am chatting to a guy who for now is doing wonders for my self esteem so I am staying on the site whether he likes it or not. He is prepared to just let me go, well I have gone, it is going to be so hard, but how can I lose something I didnโ€™t have!!?? I was hoping my happiness with him would come in time, now I will never know.

    Dear saggi, I can never thank you or you understanding and sincere support it has meant more than you will ever know, I truly mean that. You have always been there. THANKYOU xx

    It is his loss, I must keep reminding myself of that, I am worth so much more than I am feeling right now, I gave him every opportunity to reach out to me in 12months, he couldnโ€™t do it.
    Have you heard the sayingโ€ฆโ€™you can lead a horse to water but you can not make them drinkโ€™ How true of Taurus men!!!

    I hope you are ok saggi, and your time with your bull went well, no drama lol
    I cant stop crying, thinking I wont be here to chat with you. I will have to keep checking in!!
    God bless you my friend xx

  1714. #1714 by saggi girl on April 12, 2010 - 6:17 pm

    Jane,

    my sweet Jane, just cry it all out, that is what you needed it now. that is what i used to do when i felt sad or hurt by someone i love.. as bottling up will not be good to your health at all.

    โ€™you can lead a horse to water but you can not make them drinkโ€™ How true of Taurus men!!! yes, i agree to that, it is so true.. Jane, you did well on this one, you tried to lead him the way, but either he drinks or not will be up to him.. do not be afraid of what he is going to think?? as this whole thing, he did wrong but not you at all.. you even swallowed whatever you need to in order to open the door for him, but if he is still hesitate, then too bad for him. it is the time for him to do something..

    he needs to man up , i mean really like a man to say something, but not like a coward to hide behind the bushes.. i do not like that..

    Jane, chat on line, do not say any hello to him at all, not anymore..i was really pissed over his reaction now.. what on earth is in his shit head??

    as for me, we were ok yesterday, no drama.. but i was kind of having my “lady” day, got so sensitive and emotional, but i did not realize it, then he asked me if i was having my “lady” day, then i said” yes,”, then he said” yeah, i kind of thought about it as you are so sensitive today..” then i cried over nothing due to my sensitivity level.. but he has been patient holding me in his arm and listening to all my dramatic stories with a smile on his face.. sometimes, he does not have soft hearted moment, but it does not show very often..

    Jane, be strong. that is something you HAVE TO DO for yourself.. i am here.. do not feel bad to post messages if you go around in cirlce as that is totally normal..

  1715. #1715 by Jane on April 12, 2010 - 7:13 pm

    Saggi girl

    I am still crying yes, I donโ€™t know how long but in a strange way I do feel better!
    Thank you saggi I think I did do well, I tried my hardest to lead him, his way, tender and true and he still failed me, well no more, saggi I am holding my head high, I know I have been true throughout, it seems he has not as he said โ€˜we are only friendsโ€™ ok if that true then โ€˜where is he my friend nowโ€™!!!??? He used his bull shit to cover up.
    How right you are that he needs to โ€˜man upโ€™ step up and be a man indeed, do something or let me just go to someone who appreciates me for who I am, his loss I know that.
    I will continue to chat on line, I am not going to message him ever again, his move now. I am not waiting for him anymore, I am done.

    Saggi, ahh I cried and laughed at the same time you sweet bullman, how lovely he isโ€ฆyou, โ€˜lady dayโ€™ he knew, he senced how sensitive you where!! Bless him he knows you and understands very well, bless him too.
    There he was saggi, holding you at the most precious moment and when it was needed from him the most, โ€˜what a guyโ€™, hey yes he a bull with crazy ass ways but saggi he has your back, youโ€™re his woman, make no mistake of that, how lucky he is to have you, I am sure he well aware of his luck!!! So very happy you both had nice sweet time together.
    Thank you from my heart saggi, I am still here chatting with you, you are my friend, I really do feel that, it may sound crazy but I have chatted with you open more than a friend I do have near me, that is a special thing. Donโ€™t think I have lost my mind!! Lol
    Your words give me strength, thank you xx

  1716. #1716 by Jane on April 12, 2010 - 7:46 pm

    Saggi girl

    OH MY GOD!!! Saggi I had to come and tell you thisโ€ฆ. He has messaged me on the site!!! You know I sent him last night, โ€˜hi, if I am your friend it would be nice to say hello to youโ€™ that was 11pm last night and he replied at 7am this morning and he saidโ€ฆโ€™hi, how are you? Nice profile and lovely pictures tooโ€™. Oh my god I am shocked!!!
    I replied, I think I did good sagi!!?? I said, โ€˜hi. I am ok thank you, how are you? I hope you are well, thank you for your lovely commentsโ€™. That was it.
    What do I think now!!??? I do not know, he is being friendly so I guess thatโ€™s something!??

    Do you think I did ok with that? I have asked him how he is so he may respond!!
    Oh saggi my head is everywhere!!
    Keep you posted!!! I am not thinking too much I promise!!

  1717. #1717 by saggi girl on April 12, 2010 - 7:47 pm

    Jane,

    i felt the same way when i pour my heart out to you, you are closer to me than some friend around me.. no kidding, they did not even know i had a marriage before, i don’t know as i guess my intuition tell me not to trust them on that level..

    Jane, one thing for sure, you will get the strength from me, whenever you felt down, just chat with me.. we have each other for sure.. one thing i like most about you is that you have self respect..that is something i value people most.. especially woman when they are in a relationship..

    keep that thing with you, you don’t know how important it is to have it with us.. sometimes, we need to have strenght to walk through a bad day, sometimes we cried to let it out, sometimes we locked ourself in to see things more clear.. but whatever we do, do not lose the respect for yourself..

    Jane, just tell youself everyday when you wake up,” it is not a big deal, I will be ok.. no matter how hard it is, i will be brave and things will be ok, it is just a test from God.”

    do not pressure yourself, jane. you never know what kind of plan god have it for you..

  1718. #1718 by saggi girl on April 12, 2010 - 7:54 pm

    Jane,

    good job. hehehe.. well done.. i am so proud of you. just keep it light..let him come to you this time… but remeber to respect yourself first.. it will always attract them.. be confident and self respect..

    it is a good starting point. Jane. do not message him anymore, let him come to you, UNDERSTAND???

    GOD, I AM SO EXCITED..

  1719. #1719 by Jane on April 12, 2010 - 8:50 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi saggi, no I am not going to message him now, I replied to him that is all. I will let him come to me if he wishes. The funny thing is, yes my feelings are real deep for him but when I saw he had messaged me, I felt a lovely tender moment but also remained strong feeling inside, I know I have to. I am exhausted with all the emotion, hardly any sleep! Goodness, bull men pain in the ass!!!
    I am not going to think too much in to it, I will leave everything now up to him but I am curious as to him deciding now to message me after ignoring my email!! Suppose I will never know that for sure.
    Any way after I replied to him I came off line straight away to message you!! Lol he was not on line and I do not want to go back on there tonight, I am happy knowing he sent me message and that he may reply again, who knows. How interesting saggi that he commented real sweet on my profile and my pictures, I really thought he would prefer to ignore that fact!! I guess not!!
    For now I am happy knowing that he likes my pictures, I donโ€™t usually like my picture taken or put anywhere, but I do think they make me look good!! HEE HEE I am happy they turned out well.

    Thank you for being proud of me saggi, I was proud of me too!! Lol
    Yes I do think we have poured our heart out good to each other here saggi lol how lovely to be able to do that, I do have self respect saggi and what I have learnt from you, is to look into myself, I mean really look and think/recognise โ€˜meโ€™ and who I am and what I feel and not be afraid of it, that is what I have admired in you, you are strong with strong belief for yourself, I admire that.I thank you for always willing to share that, it has been a valuable lesson I learnt and am still learning!!

    I will tell myself everyday saggi, โ€˜it is not a big dealโ€™ you are correct and โ€˜what is meant to be will beโ€™ I do believe that.
    As you say, god will decide, I have faith in that xx

  1720. #1720 by Jane on April 13, 2010 - 4:10 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi Saggi, I wondered what you thought about this?โ€ฆ.I just checked site and after I replied to his message saying, โ€ฆ.i am ok thank you, thank you for your lovely commentsโ€ฆI also asked him how he was, well he replied last night after I came off line, he said, โ€˜you are very welcome, I trust you are in good health. That was pretty much it, he didnโ€™t answer that I asked if he was ok but saying โ€˜I trust you are in good healthโ€™ he is wanting a reply it seems, I am not sure!??

    I have just replied and said,โ€™ hi, thank you, yes you do find me in good health, I hope that goes for you too, and all is wellโ€™. As you can notice I did not ask him a question!! Do you think I should have to keep communication going??

    I thought it may seem a bit strange if we do that on the site, I donโ€™t know and Saggi, from what I have said about it, do you think I should not think much about it as it may just all stop now!!??

    Goodness, I just wish I knew what was going to happen!!!

  1721. #1721 by saggi girl on April 13, 2010 - 5:10 pm

    Jane,

    do not think too much about it..things needs to reframe now after the break up or trust damage sort of things..

    just be friendly with him and see where he is going to lead you.. i would think it is good that you communicate this way.. at least, you are communicating now.

    Jane, do not worry, he won’t have luck on line at all in those short period of the time…just keep it light for now.. do not lead him and show him where you want him to lead you, let him lead you this time.. either real friendship or something else..

    be cool. you are good. you have to have patient now.. as you are not having a fight as simple as that, you need to rebuild whatever it was broken due to that incident..
    hehehe, i did not go to work today..kind of lazy..

  1722. #1722 by saggi girl on April 13, 2010 - 5:13 pm

    it seems Jess disappeared.. it might be because she got influenced by the Bull disappearing act …hehehe.. no wonder she is his girlfriend.. they have the same trait..LOL

  1723. #1723 by Jane on April 13, 2010 - 5:42 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hey I was thinking of jess also and thinking she ok, I do hope she is. I would say Jess keeping herself โ€˜very busyโ€™ while her bull away!! Yes, you are right lol she just like a bull with her disappearing act!!!

    Saggi, you naughty girl staying from work!!! Lol I do know how those days of dread going in just take over! Lol well saggi, was it worth it, have you enjoyed the day being lazy!!? Lol I hope you have. I hate Monday in work and always dread it as it the craziest busiest day of all!!!!! I am off now for a few days, back next Monday, YIPPEE!!!! Are you jealous Saggi!! Hee Hee!!!

    My sister gets married Saturday, he was suppose to be coming with me, so I am very sad about that, never mind, I am sure he will remember that too.

    Yes I will leave it to him Saggi, I was just a little bothered now that he has no reason to contact me as my reply to him pretty much closed the flow of conversation. Of course I will be friendly with him if he messages me but I really donโ€™t see what he could say to open it up. I am wondering if that will be it. I guess we have โ€˜broken the iceโ€™ (if you know what I mean) and made things pleasant between us again. I do hope it continues and we can get โ€˜talkingโ€™ again. I hear you Saggi, let him lead!!! I will.

    Tell me honestly Saggi, do you think it a good idea me being on the site in terms of ever getting him back??!! Do you think me being there may prevent that? Thinking in terms of how bull men are??
    I know I have to think of me and at this moment I owe him nothing as he on there too, but I want to leave it available for us to get back together if that a possibility. Do you know what I mean?
    I was very surprised he commented on my pictures as I would have thought he would avoid that, maybe he is ok about me being there and ok with me meeting someone else, I hadnโ€™t thought of that!!!??

  1724. #1724 by saggi girl on April 13, 2010 - 6:03 pm

    jane,

    it is really hard to say if it will be good or not as you are already there.. right now, it is not the time to worry about something which has already happened..

    what i think is that you showed him that you will move on and keep your option open for now for being on the site, i guess that is the message that you passed on to him. what are you going to do? quit on being the site?? i don’t think it is a good and mature idea in order to lure him back.. as he has already saw you. I don’t know.. if i am the man, if i saw my ex on the site, i would think that he is moving on and does not waste anything on me.. i would respect that but at the same time it will get a little bit sour inside.

    right now, wait and see what he is going to do.. he might ask you if you have any luck finding one…Jane, right now, you need to use a little bit humor to communicate with him when it comes to the topic being on the site if he mentions anything about it..

    do not over analyze things now.. i think he got a little bit jelous,,

  1725. #1725 by Jane on April 13, 2010 - 6:32 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi, yes I must agree with you Saggi that I am giving him the message I am moving on, I suppose I am glad about that, afterall he doesnโ€™t want me and maybe someone else does!! Lol When I am ready which is not now!

    I will just take it as it comes, if he does ask me if I have had any luck, do you think I should be honest and say I am not looking for anyone??!! I do not want to give to much away but agree to keep humour there for sure!!

    Oh boy why are men so very difficult saggi!!??? lol

  1726. #1726 by Jane on April 14, 2010 - 7:02 pm

    Saggi girl

    Hi Saggi, well after me saying to you that he has no reason now to contact me as I felt I had closed the flow of conversation between us, he sent me a message on dating site at 12.45 am!! I was surprised when I saw how late it was or early which ever way you look at it, he does not stay up that late as he doesnโ€™t like too, well his message read, (remember I said โ€˜I hope all is well with youโ€ฆโ€™) he said โ€˜yes all is well I have just got back from a boat day trip, it was a lovely day outโ€™ OMG!!! What on earth is that about!!??? That was all he said! Saggi, I do not understand why he is telling me that?? Also going on to dating site at 12.45 am when you get back from a trip, strange donโ€™t you think!??

    I have replied, I wasnโ€™t sure whether too or not because Saggi, I am worried this is how it is going to be โ€˜small talkโ€™ โ€˜pointless talkโ€™ Do you know what I mean? Donโ€™t get me wrong, I am glad we communicating, I am wondering is it his way of telling me he moving on!!??
    What do you think Saggi?
    I am confused a little, yes analysing too I guess!!!

    I replied,โ€™ hey, what a lovely trip it is beautiful there, glad you had a good timeโ€™ That was all I said Saggi.
    Now I feel we back to, will he reply? Wont he reply? OMG!!!
    Am I being impatient here, or just foolish to be thinking anything at all!!???

    I hope you are ok Saggi? Did you get to your work today!? Or was it a โ€˜saggi dayโ€™ hee hee..

  1727. #1727 by SadgeGal on April 14, 2010 - 7:34 pm

    Hey ladies!!

    I’m another Sag who posted a few months ago about a Taurus guy I was talking to. Well, after 3 months, he tells me I ‘remind him of his ex’. What stupid bull (no pun intended) LOLz. Anyway, I decided to cut off all contact with him. I deleted him from my Facebook and blocked him. He’s texted me a few times and I’ve told him to leave me alone. Not sure if we’ll reconnect, but it’s unlikely as I’d get bored with his same old BS. We had such great chemistry but it wouldn’t be worth it, if he can’t let go of his past. Always complaining about how his ex hurt him… blah blah blah. Very disappointing that he resorted to that, after I asked him twice, NOT to compare me to people he’s dated in the past. Anyway, I’m just too impatient to keep waiting around for someone who’s still stuck in the past to make up his mind. That’s the fire in me! I need a progressive man in my life.

    I’ve been reading each and every post since then. Seems most of your bulls are such big headaches and they are so slow. Ugh! lol. Saggi girl seems to be so wise when it comes to these things. Gosh… you’re such a rock to these ladies and I’m sure they all appreciate you and the insights you give. I don’t have much to tell about you because I think we’re so alike with how we handle men. I’ll leave it at that and I’m sure you’ll make the best decision for YOU ๐Ÿ™‚

    Lately, I’ve been reading about Jane’s situation. I personally find it awkward that your relationship has gone from spending time together and having phone conversations, to exchanging a few emails on a dating website. I’d suggest to you Jane, that you give it a little break. If you want to meet other guys on the website (and why not!) do so. I’m sure you’ll have no problem in that area. When your bull has decided that he really wants to be with YOU and ONLY you, he’ll come back. Because see, some people take their partners for granted and after looking to see what else is out there, they realize that they can’t find another one as good as their partner. Sometimes it’s already too late…. which leads me to my final comment that I really think women should stop accepting crap from me. If a man disrespects you and treats you the way you never expect to be treated, always be prepared to put him in his place. We should never make men into ‘quasigods’, especially when they don’t treat us like the goddesses that we are.

    I like what Mia has been doing with her bull from church too so good job Mia! I think you should find another man who will treat you how you deserve to be treated. I don’t think that bull deserves you…. he seems so wishy-washy and seems like he as a lot of baggage.

    Wish you all the best. May God be with you all, protect you and provide the kind of love you all deserve/desire.

  1728. #1728 by SadgeGal on April 14, 2010 - 7:40 pm

    Ladies, I also discovered a website with MANY MANY questions about Taurus men, so I thought I’d share. But it should only be used as a LITTLE ‘guide’ to understanding some Taurus’ personalities….. nothing to place a huge emphasis on.
    Please ladies, remember that at the end of the day, your feelings and your needs are important too. Enjoy!

    http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/taurus.asp

  1729. #1729 by Jane on April 14, 2010 - 8:01 pm

    SadgeGal

    Hey, thankyou for you lovely post. You make some really valid points. These men really are so difficult to handle, yes the are simple once they commit, its just getting them there! Yes, you are right also about Saggi, she is a marvel to us all here, I for one would have lost my mind with out her for sure!! Lol

    SadgeGal, yes my situation is strange, especially how far we come together, but you are so right, โ€˜they have to be sure you are the oneโ€™. I have always understood that. That has been my issue, I have been by his side and waited patiently like he asked me too and all along he on a dating site checking his options!! So disrespectful. I struggle with that.
    I take it you never persued with your bull!?

  1730. #1730 by saggi girl on April 14, 2010 - 10:38 pm

    Jane,

    no worry, i saw it in a different way than your point of view, i think it is a good sign that he started telling you things even though it just touched on the surface. that is how the conversation started and go to deep little by little. Jane, as i said before, your trust or whatever the history is needed to be reframe, but it takes time. I know it is a pain of ass to be patient with those little chat to start with, but it is the starting point.

    why would you jump into it right away?? i wouldn’t if i were you.. He was telling you his trip is a good sign that he wants to make a conversation with you, the way you answered it is good too. now, just see if he will message you again..

    no worry, trust me. but you need to work on your patience though. do not think too much and take it personal. he was just trying to start a polite a conversation with you, as you know they have the best patience when it comes to relationship and also it is a way to test where you are standing now based on how you respond..

    as for me, my bull called me last night and told me that his uncle passed away on monday as he got a call from his dad, then he is going to travel to his home town to attend the funeral during the week, he said that he can not come to see me during the weekend but he will stay in touch during the week and weekend when he is out there…

    The funny part of me is that i do not know what to say when it comes to comforting him especially in those sad moment, as i always said wrong thing in the past whenever i wanted to comfort him, sothis time i said that i am sorry to hear that and then kept silent.. then i told him that i am going to work late, then he told me to be careful when i go home.. then he hung it up.

    after we hung it up, i sent him a message” baby, if there is anything i can do, please let me know. i am sorry about your uncle.” then he replied like” thanks baby. sweet dreams.’

    it sems that i won’t be able to see him this weekend..

  1731. #1731 by SadgeGal on April 14, 2010 - 11:08 pm

    @ Jane:

    Thanks for the response. This Taurus guy and I never met fortunately or unfortunately, as we both lived in different States. It was long distance and I wasn’t really in the mood for dating or a relationship at the time, so the long distance aspect of it was ideal. Anyway, he’d postponed our meeting twice and about a month and a half into talking I began to be impatient and felt like I was being strung along. It sucks that after spending over 3 months getting to know each other, it all goes POOF! But, such is life and it does go on ๐Ÿ˜‰

    I’m in my early 20’s and in NO rush to get married. It’s such a difficult ride as it is, meeting someone who’s compatible with me, so for now dating for fun is all I do. A Capricorn I dated briefly last year is back in my life pursuing me so that’s ok. If Taurus wants to come back sometime in my future, I may be open to it, but I won’t take him seriously if I notice the same patterns of being stuck in the past (still hooked on his ex who broke his heart SIX YEARS ago). I really don’t have the time or patience for that.

  1732. #1732 by Mia on April 15, 2010 - 3:49 am

    See Jane, there ya go…. I knew it …

    it is wierd, cuz i was about to pull it down after reading some of your posts to say he will come back, just stop contacting him sweet Jane. he will come back in time.

    then I read where he did message you! Wahooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! Saggi, Jess and i told you he WOULD be back. take it slow, take it very light just as you are doing.. vent all ur questions to our cool expert Saggi!!! yup, do not know where Jess is, but hope she is well… missing her too!!!
    sorry i can’t read about our new gal, know u guys taking care of her… hee, hee lol…

    i’m waaaaaaaay better! i messaged mine quickly today, very light about washing the truck and he for the first time messaged me back in over 2 weeks! in less than a minute too!!!!!!! wahoo! lol… i’m pitiful aren’t i? lollllll so sad, it was only about washing the truck… he said the carwash sucks, to wash it myself. ah my sweet taurus man telling me to do hard labor for myself. lollllllllll that is such my practical taurus…

    he is a sweetie alright… i just have such good thoughts over him now… i feel his sweet soul has been tortured lately especially when he told me last night “how do you know i had a good time over the weekend?” giving me an angry look…. (we met at the store for stuff;) that was good actually cuz that to me shows me he so wanted to be in our place, and he was missing me… and jane, you will feel comforted to know i told him i wanted to give him a quick hug before we left he said no it is too hot! with an angry look… i just grinning on the way home… lolllllllllll… it’s ok. really it does not bother me at all.. i know i SHOULD NOT HAVE ASKED FOR IT… yup… are you kidding me, i should be peeling him off me! lol… so i knew better with his mood really… but i didn’t act insecure and needy which is so very cool…

    yeah i reached out to him, and he is finally taking teensy bites out of my trail of food for my “deer” and now i let him be…

    us women have our intuition and go by it…. jane u know it cuz you could feel it like me. i was doing the same thing with mine as you are only our time span has been a few days as to your weeks, but mine has not broken up with me, just being a bit distant… he i think feels so close to me and then he fights it by keeping his autonomy with his own set of friends to show himself he doesn’t want to be tied down to any gal… i feel it. and to a certain extent, i am just as commitment phobic sometimes, cuz i like my freedom too but if i had to pick someone, it would have to be him of course… lol… yup i love that smarta##. it does not help matters that he is looking extremely handsome these days too…. but yet so am i i’d like to think… lolllllllll…. hee, hee.

    Sweet hugs to all… jane, u so sweet. saggi went through that hard time and i did on new years it was EXCRUCIATING… but i knew he would be back… he can go after any gal he wants becuz you have to remember that you are a prize, and when u act and feel u can do anything u set your mind to, then you can ๐Ÿ˜‰
    i’m sorry. i’m having a Dr. Phil moment here… “I want you to get excited about your life!” lolllllll ๐Ÿ˜‰

    xoxoxoxox mia

  1733. #1733 by Jane on April 15, 2010 - 7:36 am

    Mia

    LOL LOL Mia you crack me up!! โ€ฆI am having Dr Phil moment, โ€˜I want you to get excited about your lifeโ€™!!!!!!! How funny you said that, how true also!!

    Thankyou, you really are so sweet, you guy, really is typical Taurus in that, โ€˜I will do what I want to do it when I want to o it and not beforeโ€™โ€ฆI want to give you a hugโ€™, โ€˜no, its too hotโ€™!!!!!! OMG!!!!! I bet you felt like slapping his face! How dare he say โ€˜NOโ€™!!!!
    I have never experienced my guy saying โ€˜noโ€™ like that, I am sure I would have though!! Lol No doubt about that.

    Yes Mia you should be peeling him off you, truth is you are doing great with him, VERY SLOW Mia, you are winning, he came back to you.
    As for my guy messaging me on the site, that was only because I messaged him first and he ignored email from 4 days before that!!!
    The messages between us as you have read have been just โ€˜chit chatโ€™ not really about anything. A starting point I guess!!

    I laughed Mia when you said he messaged you back, first time in 2 weeks โ€˜within a minuteโ€™!! How funny us woman notice the tiniest of things tht he will not even care about!!! We stress ourselves so bad!!!
    Keep up the good work Mia, you are most certainly realling him in for sure!! HEE HEE. Hugs..

  1734. #1734 by Jane on April 15, 2010 - 7:44 am

    Jess

    Jess, where are you!!???
    Me, Saggi and Mia miss youโ€ฆ. Hope you are well xxx

  1735. #1735 by Jane on April 15, 2010 - 8:11 am

    Saggi girl

    Saggi, I am so sorry to hear about your bulls uncle, real sad. I think you handled it very well with him, as you said you find it difficult so you offered him your sympathy on the phone, you where silent (that shows respect saggi) and then sent a lovely message that he can carry with him and read when he wants some comfort from you, that is lovely saggi and I am sure he appreciated it very much.
    I know it is a delicate situation, but it must at times be difficult for you as you only see each other at weekends, if that cant happen then its another week for you both, but hey, you both manage it and have remained so strong together, I think it brings you both closer with out either of you realising it.
    I have my sisters wedding Saturday but I will be about to chat on Sunday, we can keep each other company!!
    I hope you are ok.

    Saggi, after I messaged him back saying, โ€˜what a lovely trip it is beautiful there, glad you had a good timeโ€™ well he did respond and he said โ€˜yes a beautiful trip indeedโ€™ (3kisses too at end of message, only 1 on other messages!! Lol) Well saggi I did not respond as I couldnโ€™t there is nothing I could add, I was wracking my brain and thought I had already said how lovely trip was so it felt silly to just say something for the hell of it!!??
    So I really do not know what will happen now, I will for sure leave it to him.
    I realise you are right that he at least telling me stuff he has done to open conversation, I do need to be paient GOODNESS I should be an expert in that department!!! I am not!!! Oh boy!! Lol
    Yes I wouldnโ€™t want o jump into anything right away of course, I am glad you thought I responded ok to him as I will struggle with that especially as it โ€˜dating siteโ€™ it feels weird!!! I guess I should forget about that bit.
    I wonder whether he may leave it now and message me after my sisters wedding, it would be an excuse to make contact to ask how it went!?? Afterall he was going with me!!
    Saggi, if he asks if I have met anyone on site or had a date, do you thing I should say something like,โ€™ hey,you donโ€™t see the choice of guys I have therefore no I havntโ€™ I know tht sounds bit mad but I was thinking to keep the humour and at same time let him know I havnโ€™t had a date. I wonder if he thinks I am dating will it take him further away??
    I will work on my patience saggi!!!! That is the hardest thing to do!!!! Lol
    Hugs sweet saggi xx

  1736. #1736 by Jane on April 15, 2010 - 8:23 am

    SadgeGal

    Hi to you, it is sad after all that time that you guys didnโ€™t get to meet, but it is all about timing with these Taurus, I am fast learning that!!
    He knows where you are if he wants you and for now, you are young, have a Capricorn on your tail so just enjoy that, you are right in no rush to settle down.
    Who knows hey, you could be back here telling us success story with a Taurus on your tail!! Lol
    Good luck to you SadgeGal, thank you so much or your sweet comments. I am hanging on for now, see what happens, hopefully he will be backโ€ฆ.!
    Hugs to you x

  1737. #1737 by SadgeGal on April 16, 2010 - 2:10 am

    @ Jane:

    Thanks for your kind words. I’ll be open to Taurus if he wants to come back… he is one of a kind, I’ll admit ๐Ÿ™‚

    Good luck to you too…. I’ll keep reading your stories.

    *big hugs*

  1738. #1738 by Mia on April 17, 2010 - 4:08 pm

    Hey Jane, Saggi, SadgeGal ๐Ÿ™‚

    So sorry about ur sweetie’s uncle Saggi. Yes you did say just the right thing, it was very sweet, short and he knows of course you care deeply for him, are sad for him and ur there for him. SadgeGal so sorry did not get a chance to read ur comments, in a bit of a hurry here.

    Jane, thank u for ur comments, yes, it is hilarious! lollllllllllll well, never a dull moment, but I had to find out whether he is just in a funk or if he left me dry without letting me know, lol. now remember this is just a week after he invited me to spend Easter with his family… hmmmm… he gave me every indication this is a funk. and he seems angry at himself most of all.

    i will see him today… nope haven’t heard from him at all. but the funk was that he was mad at me and then told me that night we met. i apologized when i called him earlier as i may have told you, that was before i messaged him and he gave me the message within one minute… i was asking him about washing the truck and he said better to wash it myself and the carwash sucks. lollllllllll is that so taurus, uh. yes. i know usually he would show up and wash it himself, but remember, he is / was mad at the time at me, so even when they are mad they are very practical. and he for sure knows, i am one of these gals that does not flirt asking a guy to wash my vehicle or ask a guy to do anything for me, i do myself just fine:)

    i will see him today argh, that is why i am not sure i like the sport team now. sometimes i just want to hide and never want to see him or him see me again. but you already know this about me. he did not show for bible study, the gal pal was there and yup she said she was out of town this weekend, so i know he went with friends and i know he picked her up and she rode with him on the trip. but i don’t feel jealous just confused. but beyond trying to figure him out.

    i will be happy in my life with or without him. in my eyes, we are over, that is the only way i have to think about this. i won’t beg for any guy. i already kind of nudged him too much when we met at the store and i was kind of lightly hitting his leg with my arm and asking if he still wanted to see me in the outfit… he says yes. long story but sweet. but remember i could not tell, and that was a way for me to know we are still on… but guess he would not have met me there if not, but his whole affect was that he was a little mad at me and not helping me too much, just a little with my stuff. i think his behavior is that he may have found someone else, or he is just in a funk financially or something. but if there was another girl how can he invite me to easter with family and still meet up with me plan a weekend withme… ? he would have been with another girl last weekend and would Not HAVE gone with his friends… you see he loves the lake and i know he wants to go tot he lake with him… he knows i would NOT want to horn in on his friends anyway. i am with him on that. cuz they are kind of my friends too, so he would not say, hey can mia go too? nope i totally understand that.

    gotta go now and get the day going… i will just do that go about today in my dr. phil mode ๐Ÿ™‚ getting excited about ma life!!!! hee hee… i will be so happy and excited!!!!!!!!!! and have such a blessed day even though he is totally ignoring me and may have already moved on. no worries, i will take my time. and if that is the case i shall be on one of the dating sites some day soon too like you sweet Jane!!!!

    You are telling me to slow down, i like you sometimes need to be reminded it is hard…. i will though. he will come back to you Jane. you’ll see and you already know it. but like you this kills me …. but one thing they are attracted to is our calm nature, our sweet, good hearted nature.

    hugs to all of you!!! mia xoxoxox

  1739. #1739 by Mia on April 20, 2010 - 12:58 pm

    Jane, Saggi,
    Hope all is well with you… think i am going to get on one of those dating sites. i need to move on here;)
    “time’s a wastin’ when my real man is waitin'” i may have to ‘sell’ that little quip jingle to Dr. Phil… hmmmm…
    i do feel my guy has another gal on the side cuz he is far removed from me. no chatting anymore. he has not initiating anything and acting just like he did when i had to have a talk with him then he finally admitted it. i am a straight up type person, i don’t like to beat around the bush and i ain’t going to sit back and feel sorry for myself if some guy doesn’t know a jewel in front of him.

    yesterday he playfully splashed water on me and he laughed and laughed when we were at his friend’s house… yeah yeah i thought to him… i said hmmmm are you an idiot or what YOU!!!!!!!!!! lol

    here is my deal… if he wants to play on his level, fine. i will play on his level. yesterday i did, last night i did… he is still flirty with me, but he wants his own autonomy… it is like he got too close then left me again without telling me… you know he left me mentally again. he does not want to settle down with anyone i can tell…

    i like jane do not want to date others. he is not claiming me, he is not dating me, he is not reaching out to me, and he did not answer my text on camping, so it is MY decision. if i do go camping this weekend, it will be without him. he got a new toy and took his “friends” not me, in it … i later found out through someone last night ( in front of him ) that he goes to the place i asked him all the time, he lied to me at the store the other night. i DID NOT confront him on it. are you kidding me, I am not the idiot, he is … lollllllllll…

    hey, there are LOTS of great catches out there! he is adorable, yeah, i love the smarta@@ but, BUT i my sweet dears am no idiot.

    that outfit i bought for him, well, i’m saving it for my real guy. and as for now, he wants nothing to do with me, well, same here. he avoids me, i avoid him. i bought a boat for fishing. he helped me with it last nite. it is at his friends… when i bought it he said he would go fishing with me if i ever wanted to. but i can tell by his dropping me totally on communication he is into his “latest” girl now. i know i can feel it. it will have been a year with this guy this june. but he never really dated me. he is a sweet guy, i shall be his friend but that is all from now on. i move on here.

    will update you later… wishing you many blesssings sweet Jane and Saggi !!!!!! remember, you ROCK !!!!!!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    hugs and kisses to ya!
    mia
    xoxoxoxoxo

    it is a funny thing, he told me i was rude once for not replying to him. i sent him 3 texts last nite asking him about camping telling him when i can and no reply. nope. ain’t gonna fly with me here… i won’t be so availble from now on…. he will have to play a guessing game with me … tee hee!!!!!

    smile

    okay, now i am on a mission to date an aquarius, leo, saggitarius or gemini ! one of those is supposed to be a good match for me too….

  1740. #1740 by Mia on April 22, 2010 - 5:50 am

    Jane, how’re u? I hope ur well and staying strong, independent and enjoying ur days!!!

    Saggi, hope ur well too and u are ok? ๐Ÿ™‚

    Sadge, hey and hope ur good too.

    doing good and my guy is helping me with stuff, last night and this weekend, it may just be for an hour, but i’m finding that i’m excited about all aspects of my life and he is still there which is cool… we shall see, but staying very very busy here and tired… zzzzzzzzzzzz… i hope jess is ok…

    sending hugs xoxox mia

  1741. #1741 by saggi girl on April 28, 2010 - 1:55 pm

    Jane,

    how have you been? haven’t heard from you for a while… hope you are doing well..

    i am ok and still hang in here..hehehe

  1742. #1742 by Jane on April 30, 2010 - 2:29 pm

    Saggi, Mia

    Hi to you both, I do hope you are both well. Mia sounds like you have had some drama, bless you hang in there. I am really in no position to make comments on Taurus man!!!
    Not any more any way. I am here as I have missed you so much, sounds crazy as we never met, but I got close to you beautiful ladies and I think of you as my friends.

    This is my update:
    The last I told you, he messaged me on dating site. Well we did that a few more times just small talk nothing big. He told me of his trip, he messaged me last and just said how good trip was. Do you remember saggi how you said, he making contact in small way and just telling me things in a way for some contact. I agree thatโ€™s what it was and if I am honest I really thought it would have continued, it didnโ€™t.

    I donโ€™t know why, or if he thought seeing me on the site too much or even if he met someone else, who knows but it was my sisters wedding and I wasnโ€™t on line for nearly a week and when I went back on line I discovered he had deleted his account and no longer on the dating site!!!!! I didnโ€™t know whether to feel relieved or upset.
    Anyway I have heard nothing from him, at all since then. I sent him a short email on his birthday 3days ago just โ€˜hi, I couldnโ€™t let the day go without wishing you happy birthday, hope you are well have a wonderful day, love your friendโ€™ that was pretty much all I said. He never replied. So that is that I donโ€™t expect to hear from him again. I miss him everyday I truly do and I will never understand what happened. We where so close so I donโ€™t get how he could walk away so easily, but he has. Maybe one day he will return, who knows. Just hope if he does Its not too late. I have been on a couple of dates, nothing major. All I think about is him!!! One guy I am in touch with is very interested, I am taking it slow, my heart is with Taurus but I guess I must let go.

    Saggi, I miss you, how are you and your bull? Have your weekends together been nice and how is he doing with his Judaism?
    Oh boy I miss our chats so much, hope you believe that.
    Mia, yes you are right, he is still there, still coming back that counts for a lot, keep up the good work you are doing great. I miss your words of wisdom!

    Love to you both xx

  1743. #1743 by saggi girl on April 30, 2010 - 8:10 pm

    Jane,

    it is good to hear from you again even though nothing big has been progressed on your side, but i am glad that you are starting to try to let it go. I know it is hard but Jane, if it is meant to be, then it will be.

    I think it is good that he deleted his account on that site, he might do a lot of thinkings while he was on that site..it is very nice of you to send him a message wishing him happy birthday, Jane, do not think too much about how he would think, and why he has not contacted you even after the message. I have to say you are doing good in a way you are supposed to do to make yourself easy…

    I know you missed him, as i did that too in the past while we were apart. but Jane, you have to be strong, if he meant to come back, then he will. then you will be sure that you have him by the time…

    i missed you too. my bull and i are ok.. he travelled back to attend the funeral the weekend before the last and we saw each other last saturday during the weekend, as he called in the afternoon on saturday after his church service to check with me if he could see me on the day instead of sunday as he said that he will be busy on sunday..but wanted to do his best to see me that weekend.. so i agreed and went out with him.. we also went to see a movie..

    he has not been calling a lot and last time we spoke was sunday. he told me that this week and next week will be very important for him as he will make decision about his job either stay with his current company or move on to another company..but he has been texting me good night almost every night, i am ok with it. He texted me last night and told me in the text that he will call me tonight.. but i am going out with my friend..

    something weird has happened recently, i was not that much sensitive to his calling anymore, sometimes, when i was watching TV or doing my favorite thing, i wished he would text me instead of calling me as it will distrub my doing.. i think i did not think of him as i used to during the week. If he did not call or anything, i was no longer panic and no longer miserable as i used to be… i don’t know.. it is kind of weird.

    Jane, i missed our chats too..

  1744. #1744 by Mia on May 1, 2010 - 2:12 am

    Hey Jane & Saggi ๐Ÿ™‚

    Sounds like you both are doing great and you are. Saggi, that is really good that you are so into your thing that you were not even aware if he contact you even wishing he would text so you could keep watching your show, good for you. That is the way it should be, you are naturally eliminating anxiety or that panic or being miserable which is well, miserable! lol…

    Jane, you are doing great, i know you soooo miss him, and he is all you think of on your dates, but what you are doing is naturally putting yourself first which is what you should be doing. Again, you are winning both ways, you are moving on, you wish him well, so you win by acting on your personal goals for your life and dating a few guys that have an interest in you! Sure you wish they were him, BUT remember right now HE IS not good enough for you Jane, because it is his loss by turning away from you, not yours! Perspective is everything. The other way you win is when you balance your attention to those other guys and your personal goals and getting excited about your life… then that will ATTRACT your guy back. He is thinking, hm, wonder what Jane is up to, does she think about me? so he may be dating someone now, BUT sometimes after a while away, a taurus man just may come back into your life. This time, he may have to ask you a couple times before he gets a date because your life is just too busy, but maybe in a week or two you can see him.. your anxiousness is gone away.

    he might could think, “hm, she isn’t so gung ho for me anymore? what is up? i am going to try harder to get her, she rocks!!!!” you see? no more analyzing!

    the only analyzing we should be doing is analyzing which hobby, goal is more exciting and they both are more important to you than him:)

    my guy is alittle confused by me now… he is acting distant but still around returning my calls in less than a minute and left me a nice message a few days ago. but he sees me NOT waiting on him.

    i am his friend but that is all for now. yeah, i am crazy about him, but you can’t force a guy to be near you, and heaven knows if he wants something with us again, it will BE HIM that initiates. done. he sees me laughing, smiling, happy for him and happy for me! i’m cool.

    but the wierd thing is all the other guys around me are very attentive bcuz i act nonchalent cuz of course i am liking my guy, but now i’m naturally acting non-chalent to him and he may or may not be gone yet, but it doesn’t matter now. either way will be fine. if he does not come back, hm, his loss? tee hee… and if he does come back, then i will decide whether i want to be with him or not ๐Ÿ˜‰ nicely of course:)

    sending you both tons of love and sweet blessings!

  1745. #1745 by Jane on May 1, 2010 - 1:01 pm

    Saggi, Mia

    Thank you both for your lovely words. It means so much. I am ok, yes I am missing him but I know in my heart that no matter what I would never want to be with someone who didnโ€™t really want me, so saggi you are so right, โ€˜if it is meant to be then it will beโ€™. Very true. I am the greatest analyser of them all and I do still do that, I need to lean to stop as sometimes I just torture myself!! Unless I ever get the chance to speak to him again then I will never truly understand why he did what he did! I guess he doesnโ€™t know himself!! Lol
    What is hard is I am comparing any other guy to him and the reason for that is with Taurus โ€˜I knew where I wasโ€™ I understood him and his ways and just as I was truly getting somewhere in his heart โ€˜BAMโ€™!!! He took it away.
    Who knows maybe one day he will return, I hope he does.

    I have a date on Wednesday with an Aquarius!! My goodness he cant be any more complicated than Taurus for sure!! Lol he seems real nice and we have been texting alot so we will see. My heart is with Taurus but I will give it a go, no harm in that!!

    Saggi, it is funny how you say you are not so sensitive to his no calling anymore. So you accept it is his way of doing things and being upset only hurts you so that is a good thing Saggi as you are looking after you, you are not letting it get to you. No matter how you look at it, your guy is around, in contact and if I have learnt anything this last 12 months it is Taurus will never stick around if they donโ€™t see a future, they donโ€™t see the point (oh answered my own question there!!) Its just as you well know saggi its getting them to the commitment point thatโ€™s the โ€˜freakin dramaโ€™!!!!!!!!! lol
    You are doing great saggi, it sounds like your guy has a lot going on at the moment with his job situation, that must be causing some tension with him.
    You are doing your own thing, getting on with things and not sitting around waiting for him and that is probably why you find it a little easier to accept his not calling. I laugh too saggi when you said you doing your favourite thing or watching tv and you want text instead of call as he disturb you!!! Lol How funny HEE HEE!!
    Saggi I hope Jess is ok I notice its been a long time since she was here!!??

    I will keep you updated on things Saggi, I miss talking to you so much. I cant go away for long I want to know how you are doing!!

    Mia, thank you, you are so right about the perspective thing, I am doing โ€˜meโ€™ yes he may be thinking of me, who knows maybe being off the site just may help him think (thatโ€™s if he hasnโ€™t moved on already!)
    You are sounding so strong Mia, you have a great attitude and is it any wonder you have all these guys flocking to you!! Rightly so!!
    You are playing it cool and its getting you the right attention!! Keep it up Mia you are doing so well.
    As you said Mia, you cant force a guy to be near you, let him come to you!! Best way, especially dealing with crazy ass Taurus!!! Lol
    Geez I love Taurus! Lol They drive you mad but they have this built in charm that no one else has!! Scary!!! Lol

    Love to you both xx

  1746. #1746 by Jane on May 1, 2010 - 2:25 pm

    Saggi, Mia

    Oh I wanted to say also, remember all my โ€˜friendsโ€™ status with my bull, how โ€˜we are friendsโ€™ โ€˜you are a beautiful friendโ€™ and โ€˜my life would suck with out youโ€™ oh yes he said all those things. So ladies as we always said it just bullshit self protection!!!! My situation now proves that, if I was all those things to him then where is he now!!??? Right!!??
    If that was all I was to him then he would have no reason to have gone! He would have stayed โ€˜friendsโ€™ with me. No he hasnโ€™t stayed friends with me because I was more than a friend to him!! Thatโ€™s the difference.
    Anyway just wanted to share that ladies. So anyone here in this โ€˜friendsโ€™ situation, DO NOT BELIEVE IT!!! All bullshit. These Taurus men are much more delicate than they make out!
    Hang in there ladies. Taurus men are worth the wait, I still believe that!!

    Hugs xx

  1747. #1747 by saggi girl on May 1, 2010 - 3:35 pm

    hi Jane,

    it is good you think things this way, and i know the theory you proved cost the pain..but i would think it worths it.. otherwise, we are still confusing. It cost me over 2 years of pain to figure him out.. LOL

    yeah, it is true that i was no longer anxious about his call, as it is really true that we do not have a lot to talk about if we speak everyday.. i was always amazed that some people was saying that they talk to their boyfriend everyday for a few hours, i was always wondering what they are talking about? how could it last for a few hours?? wasn’t that boring??

    hehehe…my guy did not call last night as he said in his text on Thursday, then i felt into sleep..when i woke up this morning, i saw a missed text from last night around 10:45pm, i guessed he went out with his coworker after work and came home late, his text is like” sorry, i did not call baby, miss you and i will talk to you tomorrow. good night with kisses..”

    the thing normally pissed me off most is when he did not deliver what he promised, i always act outrages out of this kind of situation. but if he explained it later, then i will be ok with it…, it seems he learned it to.

    i am going to do my laundry today since it has been piling up too high.. it is gonna rain later today. i will stay at home studying.

  1748. #1748 by Mia on May 1, 2010 - 5:53 pm

    hey saggi,
    ah, i do not like it when u say it cost u 2 yrs of pain to figure him out, but do understand. but figuring some of this out eased some of that pain4 me. if i had not found this i would have thought i had never met anyone like that in my life and would have questioned his cold, hot behavior. it takes a long time for them to earn trust i guess. i need to do my laundry today too, but hope u can do something fun for yourself too in between laundry and ur studying:)

    jane, i agree, that is the conclusion i came to with my guy too! just recently with his behavior. your guy left u bcuz he did like u for more than a friend. you know. you have ur intuition & he would not have been avoiding u, but would have been kind of apathetic and just friendly with u if he had only wanted u for a friend.

    just last week, when he was helping me with get something for my boat, he said again, you still always do blha blah blah, just relax… do you see? if he had no feelings for me, he would not even mention anything i do… he is still around, and when i clicked on my email i had not checked in awhile, he had left me a message. i was surprised as i thought he was totally gone, oh well… i had cut off his contact too.

    saggi, i can feel ur guy is moving towards u… that is sweet. he really loves and missed u. i think when we let go, relax into ourselves, our karma releases and melts that subconscious aura that is a wall of protection… the wall breaks down in our new found apathy and that is when he and others become attracted to you again…

    your spirit becomes a happy one, open, fun, inviting and totally contented. so jane, u are already attracting guys into ur life, and i am thinking ‘friends’ only, pretend u are taking some time to do fun things with friends, even ur dates with guys… calm, cool and collected and enjoy yourself;) my ‘invisible rule’ now is not to date anyone from church (except if the guy ever comes my way again, hm… ) so jane, u can think this way with ur guys no pressure, just have fun whether u like them or not, cuz u are just friends only… and u never know ur guy may appear one day, but u move on just as if u decided to move on first, u did remember? lol ๐Ÿ˜‰

  1749. #1749 by Caney on May 2, 2010 - 6:25 pm

    Thank you Internet, thank you Google, thank you owner of this site and thank you all for being here. Iโ€™ve spent two full days reading a yearโ€™s worth of posts and my head is going to explode. Iโ€™m so happy I found you I canโ€™t explain in words. I did search for a long time about Taurus and know by heart theirs pros and cons, probably more than my own (Iโ€™m another Virgo) and I swear I donโ€™t know what I wrote on google to come up with this life-saving site.

    OK. On with my story:

    I met Mr T. October 2001 in another country than mine. I started contact, he gave me his number, I had to leave in two days, we met the day before I left, very passionate, lots of laughingโ€ฆ went back to my home country, visited him 4 more times and the 5th we married. We stayed together for two and a half years in my country, then we separated, a really bad and nasty divorce, then nothing for about a year and a half, lots of resentment and hat (โ€˜cause too much emotions and love involved) and after that time my heart came clean and I contacted him just to talk, he greeted me and took me to his new flat where he lived by himself (he stayed and still is in my country and hometown). I told him I just wanted to say thank you for all the good times, sorry for all the times I hurt him, I wish you well, I want to have a good relation, if we meet to say hello, be able to call, these thingsโ€ฆ I was a bit scared as our break-up was pretty nasty (I used to react in quite a Sicilian way if you know what I mean) and unsure of how he would react and took me by surprise when, as music was in the background, he took my hand and started dancing with me, then kissing and intimacy in the coach was a givenโ€ฆ I really didnโ€™t expect this as it took me by surprise and after we got dressed I left although he invited me for dinnerโ€ฆ

    Iโ€™m not going to explain much as there are a few years involved, but we kept seeing each other (although he had a girlfriend I didnโ€™t know then) which led to such an emotional rollercoaster on my side as I didnโ€™t know where I stood. He kept calling every other week or every other monthโ€ฆ then something will come up, me pressuring him for compromise, he backing off, and weโ€™ve been on and off like this ever since. We stopped talking and seeing each other for over a year when I found out a bout the other girl, then a mutual friend (a witness in our wedding) came from another country with his wife to meet him and he wanted to see me so them two came one day to my door, and we started to see each other again, with the same intensity, thatโ€™s it, every other week, once a monthโ€ฆ then we stopped altogetherโ€ฆ

    A couple of times we opened up to me and wanted to commit to something, but him being SOOOOO CRYPTIC and me being SOOOOO โ€œLETโ€™S DO IT NOWโ€, it ruined everything. Again months without seeing or talkingโ€ฆ Then I called on Friday before last, he came over, stayed the night, left the next morning, I was going o a trip for a couple of days and he said he would pick me up at the airport on my way back. It was the day before his birthday (April 29th). I bought him a present. He picked me up but was with a friend in the car, so I knew he was not staying. I told him about the present, he wanted me to give it to him just then but I said NO, you come over tomorrow and Iโ€™ll give it to you. I txtd him a happy birthday message early in the morning. No answer. Called him up in the afternoon, I think I woke him up, he probably went out the night before to celebrate, he said Iโ€™ll come over later on.

    10pm came by, no news, I started to watch a movie. He called at 10:30pm. What are you doing. Watching a movie. Iโ€™m tired. I bet you are. Are you coming over? Yes. I run to a draw to get a card for him and wrote something along these lines: โ€œHappy birthday. Besides the present (I bought him a nice and expensive perfume โ€“he loves perfume!) I also want to give you a thought I want you to reflect on about us. The thought is if you think we can grant ourselves another opportunity as a couple. I wish you all the best.โ€

    I placed the present and the card on โ€œhisโ€ bedside table and run to the bathroom to get rid of some unwanted hair (!!!!), a shower, some perfume and a nice nightie and got in bed trying to look as casual as any other night (eh?). He arrived at 11pm, just one hour before his birthday was off. Got in bed with me, saw the present, read the car, said thanks, kissed meโ€ฆ we spent the night together (I didnโ€™t sleep a wink, he snores soooo badly I even recorded it, lol!!) and he had to leave early morning, he showered and kissed me good-bye saying โ€œweโ€™ll talkโ€.

    This was Friday morning. Friday night I txtd him something along the lines of โ€œoff to sound sleep as last night your back-ground snoring deprived me of a good-night sleep โ€“Iโ€™ve got proof!- and I can still smell your perfume in my nightieโ€.

    And thatโ€™s all.

    I know itโ€™ll take him a while (maybe a month?) to come back to me, but he will.

    If I want to be with him I will have to be patient (if anything else I did learn that from him and Iโ€™m actually thankfull for that), learn to not react to his non-answering, non-calling and walk with him at his own pace.

    Thatโ€™s it. Over to you. I will write some more about my perceptions after reading on this site about all your relationships. But I think itโ€™s enough now about me.

    Thanks for having me.

  1750. #1750 by Caney on May 2, 2010 - 8:37 pm

    So Taurus men are:

    Very sloooooooooooow, they have their own pace and timing, therefore donโ€™t like to be pushed or pressurized

    Very stubborn, take it or leave it

    Selfish โ€“ donโ€™t think what their actions may do to others

    Scared of compromise/commitment

    They like to be the ones taking initiative

    Donโ€™t like insecure women (although they are themselves insecure)

    Donโ€™t like drama, avoid discussions

    Independent, free souls

    Jealous โ€“although donโ€™t like to show it

    Protective with their folks

    They love themselves, they come first

    They do analyze and observe you โ€“although you may not realize it. They may even play games on you to test you

    They break up compromises with you because something else arises โ€“ you donโ€™t come first!

    And I question myselfโ€ฆ am I ready for this? Ready to accept this? Iโ€™ve got a very strong character and in order to accept this I do have to change A LOT. I know he wont. Do you ask yourselves the same questions? I mean… what is it that they have that we feel so attracted to them? โ€˜cause if I analyze this like I normally do (Iโ€™m a Virgoโ€ฆ), I believe Iโ€™m VERY dysfunctional!

    And yes, I married this guy, then divorced him and now Iโ€™m his lover, expecting his answer for a committed relationship, go figure!

  1751. #1751 by Mia on May 7, 2010 - 12:18 am

    Hey Caney,
    need to keep this short, but you are so right about ur list above. mine moved away bcuz of his pre-occupation with new areas of stuff in his life, but now i am not sure it is about another woman, and after ups and downs (yup, they make us normal laid back folks, become needy for them, are you kidding me? is it him or me, it’s him isn’t it? lol)

    now he is ever so slowly coming back, geez. but not until my energy left him and is now on my stuff here that i put off bcuz of him.

    i’m learning that i will not put off my stuff for him and truly him and any guy wants you to have your own life, well honey, i am all about that now;) i’m very happy with or without him just like always, when u come to that conclusion and move on in ur head, ur life becomes much happier. u do not need this guy, that is so hard to say i know, but when i got out of this mindset, now he is turning his energy SLOWLY back my way.

    saggi, jane, jess, if u still come on here ever at all, i thought the guy was totally gone, smile. now that i mentally dropped him like i thought he did me… i must be looking better to him, whatever… ๐Ÿ˜‰

    caney, he has a wife now? i did not get a chance to read all ur stuff. hm, sweet caney, if he has a wife now, even though u were married to him, then it seems to me that he has the behavior of a cheater? no offense, i know u think this is bcuz of his feelings 4u? but i just don’t want u to get hurt, 4 ur own sake, i think i would let him know i am off limits until he can either work our his marriage, or divorce… i just don’t see how u could be so happy when u could easily have someone who wants u for YOU, ALL OF you because you are beautiful, a catch and you are worth it!!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  1752. #1752 by Caney on May 7, 2010 - 9:17 am

    MIA, no he is not married! lol!! nor he has a girlfriend now… but thanks for your thoughts.

  1753. #1753 by Ariesfire on May 7, 2010 - 7:06 pm

    Hello ladies, I have been reading your posts for some time now. It is such a relief to know that I am not the only one going through a messed up Taurus relationship. Mine is a little different from everyone else’s situation. You see mine has a child with his ex girlfriend. He had been split up with his ex since September. We have currently been together since November and he just recently got to visit with his baby. The problem is, is that the ex and the baby came to his house and stayed for five days. He gets so emotional when it is concerning the little girl. My other problem is that he lied to me about filing for child support. He said he told me they filed because he didn’t want to lose me because I told him the only way this would work it out is if he filed. I am very confused and I don’t understand why he wont file for the child support where he can have visitation without the ex being around. They also talk on the phone everyday. He says that he loves me and doesn’t want to get back with her but I’m concerned that he just wont ever let her go.I recently sent her a message on facebook and told her everything about us being together.She acted like it didn’t phase her but I know it did because I have read the text messages she has sent him and he lied to her and told her that we are not together anymore. He says that he knows that she will take the little girl away from him forever if he tells her the truth. I guess what I am wondering is should I trust him and let him deal with this situation on his own or should I start giving up and move on. Please help me ladies I am very confused. I want to believe him because I am very much in love with him but my head says I need to turn and run.

  1754. #1754 by saggi girl on May 10, 2010 - 9:29 am

    Jane,

    i think it is time for me to walk away from my bull. I was not happy..i saw him yesterday and wanted to celebrate his birthday during the weekend.. but it turned out that he wanted to leave earlier to get ready for tomorrow.. It ended up me crying over this, it has been a few weeks that we have been discussing over this, it was alwasy him ended up saying that he did not have much time but did his best, he will make effort.. then it will go back to the old way..

    i do not want to be hard on him, but all i wanted to have a normal relationship, see each other often and spend time together. I looked back seeing that we always spent not enough time together and always on sundays term. and i did not think he can do anything about it.. what made me feel bad was that he told me again yesterday during the discussion that he wanted to be happy and did not want to see me suffering.. we need to find a solution especially for me to feel comfortable. but at the same time, he was saying that he did not know and need to think about it but he can not do anymore changes as he did his best. so, it will leave me either stay to suffer or leave by walking away.. he also mentioned again that he can not guarantee the future..i was thinking what he was doing is trying to push me away.. then i asked him if he has a sister like me, what he would suggest that she do.. he looked at me saying” you always knew the answer.” then he was mad saying” if you decided to do something, why you put it on me?” then he also said” well, it could be anyone that i am with right now that i have time for, it would still be the same.. you just happened to be the one who have to pay for the price..”

    i am really mad at myself.. how long that i have to wait for waking up.. if a guy that i have spent for 2 years and half can not say that he wanted you in the future, but instead, he told you that he can not guarantee the future.. what does it mean to you?? it says everything..

    i don’t think he is in a stage to offer anything long term.. he is satisfied with his current situation with me, but not me.. if he was telling me to wait for him for 2 or 3 years or even longer but assured that he wanted me, i would wait for it as i love him, but i don’t think that is the case, instead, he chose to say that he can not guarantee the future.. i was so upset and hurt..

    i called him at the night and asked if he is in love with me or not, he told me that he can not deal with this right now, he has to think of a solution…he needed time. he did not want to see me suffering anymore.. then i requested to answer the question, but he raised his voice on me..i don’t know, then i told him that i would take it as a no if he has to think about it, then he told me that i can take whatever i want, but he will still call to discuss a solution.. then i was really upset and told him not to call me anymore.. then he kept saying that he needed more time and will call later.. then i said not to call me anymore and i hung it up.

    i felt so bad, and wake up in the middle of the night.. wanted to write this to you…

    i did not know, it is kind of hard for me..i don’t know, i guess i need to follow my head and gut but not my heart..as it kept me suffering.

  1755. #1755 by saggi81 on May 11, 2010 - 8:11 am

    hi to all there!
    i read with comfort yet dismay and i felt i have to say smthg about these bulls. i have had an intertwined relationship with a taurus man for 7long years. long story but rest assured, it echoes what you ladies gone through too. the conincidence is –
    saggi girl, beyond a doubt i am on the same wavelength wif you! me going through a wild rough patch here with that bull – same time over the weekend, izzit the moon or smthg, beats me.
    i am over him (this is the zillionth time i have said this) but i really hope its finally the end.
    good luck girls, its not easy, i wish i can carry on but its too much of a toil.

  1756. #1756 by saggi girl on May 11, 2010 - 2:07 pm

    saggi81,

    wow, 7 years with you bull.. Oh, my god.. do you live together? i want to know more about your story..it seems we saggi have rough time with bull..

  1757. #1757 by Wind on May 11, 2010 - 4:33 pm

    Hi to all there

    I want to say something to you with hope you can deal with your bulls from my experience.
    I dated my boyfriend almost 5 years with exact situation like everybody here, bi-polar characteristic, hot and cold that no one can believe they could exist in our peace earth, ๐Ÿ™‚
    Now I live with my bull, so happiness when I study and understand him. The most important thing is you must let your bull space when they need, never confront him (if you want, please do in female way).

    Saggi girl,

    I’m so sorry for say straight to you, I didn’t see anything wrong with your bull. You know we are always the loose if we try to fight with the bull because the bull never say sorry or become the loose, even they must find with the left world or loose the girl he love. I dont know why, maybe their motto is: “To live is to win and never say regret”. I can not count how many time I happened terrible situation like you and how many time he made me crazy, tear like dead in the past, however when I recognise how the bull want to be, I let him “live his own life”. I can remember one time, I let him free 6 months and at the end he realize he love me then call me (that he never done before) say he always wish me the best and love me. Honestly, I did think he left me forever.
    Patience is the key for the relationship with the bull, let him be, always beside him when he need. I and my bull always see each other about 1 every month, sometime call, text (always call, text to arrange meet…lol) 4 and a half year. Trust me the bull worth the wait. They are the wonderful lover that can bring the moon to you if you understand him, independence and remember live your all lives. They observer you, protect you in the way you didn’t know but it is reality.
    My words so mess, hope you can see the bright side of your situation. I am still in this site and have pleasure to answer every question to all of you from my experiences.

  1758. #1758 by Wind on May 11, 2010 - 4:38 pm

    Oh, sorry I mean “..even they must fight with the left world or lost the girl he love…”

  1759. #1759 by saggi girl on May 11, 2010 - 9:28 pm

    wind,

    thank you so much to relate to my situation, it does help a lot.. seeing someone with sucessful story means a lot to me and to this site especially us like a lost sheep in the forest.. please come here more often to share, it is precious experience for us..

    one thing suprised me was your patience with your guy? it must take a lot to get this far with your bull. I was like pulling my hair almost everyday when i lost my patience with my bull. you have to admit that they are a piece of hard meat..LOL

    i don’t know, i just felt that he did not give me enough time to spend together, then i took it personal that he did not want to spend time with me while he said that he did his best. we only see each other once per week, it was always on sundays… but i do not think it is enough for me. when i asked for it, he said that he will try but it was always going back to the old way.. he always said that he got a lot on his mind..but he did love me.. but was that how they love people?? that is why, i always asked if he loves me or not as i did not believe..

    when you said that we need to give them space when they needed, it is true. i think in order to survive this relationship, i need to live in my own life… which will be easier..

    my question for you is how you deal with not seeing him enough, did you ever complain about it? did he change?? it seems you finally made it.. i so admire you.

  1760. #1760 by saggi81 on May 12, 2010 - 1:36 am

    hi saggi girl,

    i am pretty amazed myself too! i agree wif you that we have one of the hardest time, sometimes i wish i was virgo or some sort closer? ๐Ÿ˜›
    he started courting me when we went to a work conference in 2003 – i was an intern then; i thought better than to commit, cuz i was pretty young (and i know bulls are a tad too possesive for us sages) before i know it, he started disappearing act altogether. then he finally let up – his ex from high school returned to his town and HE FINALLY with much deliberation decided to take her back since i dont lurv him! hella excuses but whatsoever, i was cool and i thought i saw the last of him. then he came back telling me he is upset about losing me and begging me to return to him. he was a bloody twotimer and i was foolish enough to play his game. then the same thing happens, cold and hot, want you/want you not, etc. i was blown off and we were off for a while. then he comes back again like a puppy, swearing he wanted to be responsible for her (not for me yey?) and that he lurvs and want me actually. that fool sounds so sincere in his gentle ways ya know? my brains tell me not to overanalyse too much, my heart tells me another. to say the least, i was deeply confused. went on like that for 4 years and i have since moved to another city and we see less of each other.
    there is perhaps an undeniable chemistry we have even when we have agreed not to be romantically related. we are hardly lovers or friends now ya know what imeaning saggi girl?
    he is not my bull however much i wanted him to be, everyone is saying we should have been over many years ago. now we have our stable partners engaged but we arent over each other as yet deep down inside. so its a tug of war, i know he will stay by his high school sweetheart (true lurves? playing the field? i am not sure!) ๐Ÿ˜ i am contended to be a friend in need if he and time allows.

  1761. #1761 by saggi81 on May 12, 2010 - 5:05 am

    saggi girl,
    just wanna add: i have not been so mesmerized by a person, we can split for months and i swear not to talk to him anymore, when he appears in front of me, i get fuzzy and all. is it a sag-bull thing? he says i think too much, i get alot of rollarcoster ride – ignore him, call him, delete his name from my cell, visit him again. he will not reply, stay off, text me, call for a dinner. i wonder if i should stay in asylum for being a lunatic!
    the last straw was over sunday when i started feeling paranoid again (u know the works, he is not wif me most often and has a fiancee/sweetie)
    like i said now that its almost settled that my wait has been to no avail, i have moved on. he is my friend nothing more or less, if he rejects it then hella but ya, good luck babe! i wish u have better luck and good ending wif your bull! ๐Ÿ™‚

  1762. #1762 by Wind on May 12, 2010 - 2:17 pm

    hi saggi girl,

    From your question “how I am deal with not seeing him enough, did I ever complain about it? did he change??” I can explain from my “unbelievable” experience with hope that it can turn on the light to you.

    From the beginning, I always ask myself if he take me for grant, even use me myself for sex, because when we see each other it was so great, he cooked for me, treat me like the queen, the lady of his life (we usually finish with the wonderful sex that made me thought he did everything to get sex with me, :(). But, then he become a strange person, I did not know how I can catch him when I need. He never call me, when I called him, he rarely (it mean never) answered. Sometime I get mad, I try to called him until he can not stand with and turn off the phone. I didn’t know why he treat me so terrible. When we had change to see each other and in the good mood I asked him why he did not pick my phone, he said that because he is so busy if he is in freetime he would pick my phone with no reason (I wonder what the hell busy that he could not give me 1 minutes to pick up my phone), especially he let me know the more I still keep called him like crazy, the more he never pick my phone (f**k to this bullshit attitude). So, what I did after? I didn’t call him anymore, until he miss me like dead and pretend he so drunk to call me. The day after, I called him again, he pretend like he did not remember anything, he sorry for call me by mistake and tell me if the next time he called me when drunk, please I interrupt the phone call right away, LOL.

    When I understand what the bull want? The biiiiiigest and looooongest space that can let him answer the feeling of his heart, I let him be. I try to convince myself that I live my own life like nothing happened before he became a part of this. It is so hard for the Aquarius like me. But if I cannot deal with this, our relationship would end, what I could have after that? Nothing (until I found a new bf). So I encourage myself that I take him like a special person in my life that I will ask for help, advice…when I truely can not find any solution or I did not keep up with something. If I found the new suitable man for me, I will break up with him with no regret. When my mind so clear and did not injunction with such a kind of him, I go straight in my life journey.

    Do you believe? He didn’t change, didn’t call me more often, didn’t take the intimate. I always the one who called first to arrange meet (but it is less because I always call when I really need him, like one time in 1 or 2 months), so is it bother me? it is not. He became less important in my happiness.

    He became the one who wondered why I changed totally? Did I have a new boyfriend? Did he love me or not?…So he get mad, and try to call me with the super polite (if not I interrupt right away, hehe).

    We see each other about 1 every month for dinner, talking, sex. I never confront to him anymore, and did not know how it could be. But it seems not bother me when my mind free and clear. In the deepest of my heart I know for sure he love me and I love him. It is enough.

    Now, he said that he never experienced such the feeling in his life (he older than me a lot), even with his ex-wife or some of his girlfriend before me. He thanks me for loving him and he devoted his life, his health, his heart, his strong financial for me. Such a wonderful life when you lived with the bull. He belongs to you every cell. LOL

    Dealing with the bull persistent is the gold key. The bull need time, space to find out what he truly want, and need time, space to miss you. Because they are the most unchange person so it is super slow (6 months with me, lol).

    I can say only thing: The bull is the best lover in the world, he will never move on if you are still by his side.

    Did not believe i can text so looong. Wish you all the best. ๐Ÿ™‚ Feel free to share with me your story if I can help.

  1763. #1763 by saggi girl on May 12, 2010 - 4:46 pm

    wind,

    thanks for your reply and also your wise advice. i was so surprised with your patience and persistent method. i still can not believe you can take” seeing him once a month’, wow, you are something..( i mean in a good way).

    we see each other once per week, but everytime when he leaves, i got sad, then he will tell me not to look sad over this, he wants me to have my own life too.. i guess i might be too clingy most recently. he calls once or twice a week, the rest of the week, he will text for good night before he goes to bed, i think it is ok from the other people’s eye, but for me, it is not enough because i want more..

    my bull’s financial was not stable, he was putting a lot of effort into his job, got home normally after 9pm, every time he saw me crying over not getting enough time from him, he will feel bad and told me that he will make effort to talk to me more during the week, but he said that it is hard..

    i don’t know, i guess i took it very personal whenever he said something. then last sunday, i guess it was the last straw when i cried again, he looked at me and said” we need to find a solution for you, i mean not for me as i am ok. i feel really bad when you suffer….” then he stared at me for a while and asked” do you want to take a break?’ then i was like” do you?” then he was like” no, why you asked me? as i said that i am ok, but for you, it is not ok.”
    then i kept silent, i don’t know, i cried a lot recently.. then i asked him what a relationship mean to him. then he was like” a relationship means to me is that two people do not see other people and only see each other, cared about each other, be there for each other when in need..” then i was like” the problem about us is that i do not feel that i was needed by you, i don’t think you need me.” then he was like” i do need you. i do.”

    then we were on and on, he stayed longer than he wanted to, i guess, because i cried and felt bad.

    my question for you is that, did your bull ever guarantee the future with you?? did he verbalize it to you? as my bull after 2 and half years, he still said that he can not guarantee the future? it really hurt, which i took it as he did not want to be with me..”

    I asked him if he was in love with me, he pause for a few seconds and said” i am, i am certainly in love with you.” then why at the same time saying he can not guarantee the future with me? where does it leave me to?

    i don’t know, i guess i need your opinion on my case, actually i texted him yesterday as he needs to go to court for something, i wished him good luck, then he texted me back and thanked for me prayers and said” he will let me know how it goes.”.. then he texted me again later after his court said” worked it out. will tell you about it later. thanks for your prayer and hope your day is going well.”

    i felt bad to text him when i told him not to call.. but i guess he rooted in my heart too deep.. hard to pull it out like that..

    i would like to know how you guys decided to move in together, when you were dating for that 4.5 years before you moved in, did you define the term( like girlfriend and boyfriend title).

    it really amazed me how strong you are and how determined you are. I probably need to have your mindset, like until i find a more suitable guy, i should just take it easy..
    thanks again for your sharing and it does help..

  1764. #1764 by saggi girl on May 12, 2010 - 5:00 pm

    saggi 81,

    i am sorry that things are going like this for us.. for us saggi. i have to admit that the chemistry is very strong for me with my bull.. but i think i got scared when i can not get the promise..

    so, he got a fiancee on the side while he has you? so, actually he cheated on his fiancee, right? does his fiancee know you??

    did he get a fiancee first before he knows you, or after he knows you.. it is really complicated in your case. Mine is a little bit similar to your too, he has been seperated with his wife for over 3 years, and his wife was living with her boyfriend.. he told me that he will get it settled this year.. i don’t know it will be true or not.. but i don’t believe he lied to me. he told me that he did not want his marriage back, but i guess he was not ready to get divorce yet on some levels…

    it seems to me that they do think a lot and observe on the side, he used to communicate with his wife like once a week to make sure each other are ok, but right now, they no longer communicate that often, like last time, when i asked how she is doing, he said that he did not know as they haven’t communicated for a few week, but he thinks she is ok.

    i guess the future will plan it out itself. i can not force anything when it was not ready. I guess everything has it own timing either moving forward or moving away.. i guess i have to wait for my own timing to either stay with happiness or walk away without regret..

    good luck to you too. thanks for your sharing

  1765. #1765 by saggi81 on May 13, 2010 - 12:49 am

    dear saggi girl,

    its a little messy girl. they were together for 2 years before they had some arguement and broke up when she moved. then she returned n the bull took her back bcos he thought i dunch lurv him, not ready to commit etc. in fact, i congratulated him when he asked for my advice. my fault perhaps for putting up a strong front so he thought i dunch give a damn about him. he complained and bitch about the girl to me – how we compare to each other but i generally offer him suggestions (to pretend to be cool? ๐Ÿ™‚ )he says he had to return to her out of gratitude/old times’ sake. but heck sometimes he says it dunch matter if she finds out, i secretly think its not true bcos he is such a meek, safe bull who dunch wanna risk bad breakups/tears/stuff from her. whenever he raises the topic about a relationship wif me i told him “u r engaged”! n the story continues with his same dumb reasoning. in fact the last 2 years i have stopped asking. cuz its apparent that they are and would stay together.
    i hate meself for being the kept lady cuz i think i deserve beta. he knows and i know so we became friends of some sort. the cycle continues, i leave him to hang, he calls after few months, we meet, sparks fly, we argue, he leaves.
    so there we are fighting yesterday – i told him i had enough and would continue to date someone, he asked what are u gonna do?, i said i was going to delete his cell no. and leave him. guess wat he said – maybe thats the best for us since he finally knows how i feel?
    so there u go the ending of my story, i lost him but i have to actually admit i already lost him some 6 years ago.

  1766. #1766 by saggi81 on May 13, 2010 - 12:55 am

    i dunch know if he cares about me or not, or maybe he is just bored or lusting after me. my buddies say he probably is, i get upset bcoz i think he really likes me yet he is wif someone else? that i cant explain. he is going to ignore my calls i know, so i dunch know if i should surrender. i dunch wanna be the bad girl.

  1767. #1767 by saggi81 on May 13, 2010 - 1:04 am

    wind,
    so sorry that i m leaving so many replies. i wanna ask, do bulls get passionate initially and have s wif u after that become cool and detached again? i feel used all the time.

  1768. #1768 by Lioness76 on May 13, 2010 - 4:15 am

    Hi allโ€ฆ
    I started reading about Taurus men a week ago and am so glad that I found this site. I would like to thank every1 here for their time, concern, and effort. I must admit Iโ€™ve learned so many about T-Men!!

    Iโ€™m a Leo, I met several Taurus guys and they were so into me but I always rejected them caz I knew from the first time I saw then that they are after one thing onlyโ€ฆ sex! So.. Whenever I pump into Taurus I get him out of my mind directly without discussion caz I know we will have a major conflict!

    But the story starts here one day I was handling the registration process at a Seminar, there comes this guy who was absolutely handsome! He approached me and asked to be registered! My tong was tied up! I didnโ€™t know what do! I acted like a child! Didnโ€™t know what I was saying..Finished his registration and he left! I took the registration from and couldnโ€™t help staring at his name and info! So childish of me perhaps first time in my life that I act this way! I couldnโ€™t help it..I felt so attracted towards him..
    He possessed my mind the whole time. I went through his registration form and believe it or not! I couldnโ€™t help memorizing his phone number and email address!! I know it sounds CRAZY! But Iโ€™ve never done this b4! Soโ€ฆhe passes by on his way out and look at me in the eye with a cute smile saying goodbye! I felt my heart popping outta of my chest!

    The seminar was overโ€ฆ I went home, thinking of him and the thoughts of him never left my mind! Weird n wild n crazy ideas started popping up in my mind! I thought of calling him regarding his registration then I said 2 myself what would I say! And what if he asks me what would I reply! So I told myself this will sound so cheap! then I thought of emailing him or accidently adding him to my MSN and then I thought that sounded even cheaper and CHEESY! I became hopeless, so I let it go (hardly)โ€ฆ that was 3 yrs ago

    A month ago..I was online in a chatting room..there comes this guy very smart, intellectual, funny, interesting..the conversation carried on.. he asked to move to MSN caz itโ€™s faster and better and so we would get to know each others more so I agreed.. so he gave me his e-mail address! And I feel Iโ€™ve seen this e-mail address b4 but I canโ€™t remember when! then it hit me.. Itโ€™s that guys email address, yes I couldnโ€™t get it outta my mind! I couldnโ€™t believe it! I got frustrated and suspicious..I had 2 make sure 4 my self.. I went 2 his profile..and it was HIM! HIS EXACT FULL NAME!! .. it was a JAW DROPPING MOMENT!! I wanted some1 to pinch me.. wake me up .. maybe itโ€™s a dream! I felt so happy .. crazy..lucky.. everything! Could this be true! I had to make sure again .. I talked to him we chatted in msn .. it was him!! The one I had crazy crush 3 yrs ago and I was so helpless in reaching him out!
    I didnโ€™t believe it! We chatted..he showed me his pics..and I showed him mine! Didnโ€™t really see any of his pics caz I can remember his face as if I saw him yesterday! we talked that night..then it got so late we had 2 hit the bed..Then he suggested to talk over the fone because he thinks am an interesting person! I was totally speechless! Counldnโ€™t say NO!! HELL NO! LOL so we exchanged numbers and agreed 2 call each others the next day.

    I couldnโ€™t sleep that day..I felt that I was living a dream! So he called me the next day, I was so shy..he was so nice and gentle.. we talked for about 4 hrs! I found out that he was divorced for about 10 yrs ago no kids! Me 2 divorced no kids.. heโ€™s an engineerโ€ฆ me2, heโ€™s 36 am 33, he has phd, now am doing my masters almost same as his major! We had zillion of stuff in common he almost went crazy! I felt as if he was my lost half!! The more we talk the more I find heโ€™s so much like me..and this is making me wanting him even more
    So after 5 days talking over the fone , he asked to meet me in a restaurant! I agreed.. I saw him, had a good time..we talked we ate.. we spent almost 2 hrs then he called it!! I was okay with it..
    I saw him again 3 times and it was the same routin! But it was fun thou.. then his Birthday came along and I gave him a surprise txt he was so happy and super exited we met the next day and I got him a nice present which he really likedโ€ฆ the evening was over so I thought it would be a nice gesture to give him a birthday kiss on his cheeks! So I did it, he seemed to like it ..he said in a low tone this is not a real birthday kiss and I was what would be a real one? And then he French kissed me!! OMG!!! I couldnโ€™t move! I was paralyzed! It was so sincere, sensual itโ€™s like magic!..then he looked at me and gave me a cute smile .. smiled back and left ..! I got turned on by this tiny kiss BTW!! lol

    He calls me the next day and asks what am up 2 and I was like am invited 2 to a wedding! And he asks if he can see me after the wedding to see how I look n stuff! I was okay (guess part of me wanted to please him by seeing me dressed up and stuff)..finished the wedding saw him, he hubs in my car n sit next 2 me.. looking at me so crazily.. complimenting me..then he make pass and start kissing me over n over! start touchin me .. hugging.. then..he went down on me! I was paralyzed! Couldnโ€™t resist him! He was soooooo good So.. I said itโ€™s getting late I need 2 go and he agrees..when I get home he says well..u taste good, and how he enjoys kissing me and that he cannot resist me.. ! in fact I felt good about it.. so I saw him the next day we had a blast.. sitting on a beach restaurant. Talking about everything. Even discussing traveling for the weekend 2gether somewhere exotic to get together.. and enjoy our being together.. I felt super excited! we had fun..we finished dinner he asks 4 the bill so quickly! And I thought we would spend more time.. .. head 2 the car he started complimenting me and he hugged me, kissed, and went down on me again! And am being totally without any control..dunno why! And deep inside me I feel the kissing and hugging part is ok and am fine with it but going down on me?!? this was giving me mixed signals! So I need 2 know why is he doing it! so I asked him on the way home while he was driving : what he calls what just happened between us now? And he goes blank for 5 secs.. then he says: โ€œWell, I like you I canโ€™t resist u, u taste goodโ€! thatโ€™s allโ€ฆ obviously wasnโ€™t the answer I wanted 2 hear so I got off the car looking unhappy because of his cold answer..gave him a cold smile and walked awayโ€ฆafter that in 15 min, I get a txt from him saying: โ€œby the way, if what we just did makes u feel uncomfortable by any chance, then we shoundโ€™t do it. It is not why am with you and itโ€™s not a priority for me ๏Šโ€ with a smiley face! I was clueless! Didnโ€™t know what 2 say.. I replied..(so
    stupidly)
    โ€œur so special 2 me, and u mean a lot 2 me, I really like you, I feel I am starting to develop feelings 4u, now am not gonna say am not that kinda girl who does bad stuff and blaaah blaah blaah.. but I feel extremely attracted 2u and outta control with u! I canโ€™t resist u donโ€™t ask me why! I dunno what I call it but I guess am falling 4u!..and when I asked u I just wanted 2 make sure that we r standing on a common ground not aloneโ€

    Daaaamn that was so stupid of me.. if I knew about this site earlier I wouldnโ€™t have said none of this!
    Then replies: let me talk 2u later dear! (heard nothing from him that day which was the first time!)
    His reply came the second day in a txt! Saying : โ€Hello dear, how are you doing sorry itโ€™s been a long day..listen, I really appreciate what you said and the way you feel about me, in fact, I am happy that u feel this way ..in fact, I like u too and enjoy being with u and going out and having fun, but I like US TO BE GOOD FRIENDS like we are now rather than JUMPING INTO COMMITMENT. SEX is not my intention at all, I donโ€™t mind it as long as it doesnโ€™t make u un comfortable, but if it does, then itโ€™s not really important to have..I just enjoy being with you and am not after taking advantage of any kind. I hope u understand what I mean!โ€
    I got shocked by his txt! So confused!! Now he wanna take it to friendship after kissing and all thie intense heat we had together! WTF!! Is he twisted or something?! I didnโ€™t ask for commitment I only wanted to verify his true feelings towards me! I didnโ€™t know what to say I replied with my Leo pride saying:โ€ hello there, I totally agree with you and understand exactly what ur talking about..letโ€™s leave things the way they areโ€
    Then he replies: โ€œGood, I am happy to hear that we are in the same page;)โ€

    Hmmmm.. well heโ€™s really getting me confused..so I replied: โ€œuโ€™ve got it buddy!!!โ€ then heโ€™s like : โ€œOMG u wonโ€™t believe what just happened.. am going to this exotic island this weekend with my cousinโ€ and I was like WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT! Saying deep inside me didnโ€™t we had this planned already! What the hell went wrong!! How could he ditch me and say heโ€™s going with his cosine! Especially he told me b4 this place is better for couples! So I replied: โ€œokay enjoy ur tripโ€ and he replied : โ€œIโ€™ll talk 2 u later about itโ€ never called at that day in fact since that incident he stopped calling me at night and he shifted to the afternoon calls on his way to the gym..!
    He calls the next day, talking about his trip..and how they r having difficulties with the reservation! All about him issue! So I said well I really hope uโ€™ll manage 2 find a way! 5 mins call..then he hang up..
    Same thing next day.. afternoon call! Ohh we found reservation am going for the weekend blaah blaah.. and I was like thatโ€™s good 2 hearโ€ฆ hangs up! He calls again after 3 hrs! complaing that his labtop was stolen from his car!! Wow!! This dude was calling me only once a day (5-15) min call duration and now heโ€™s updating me with his problems!! So I had to calm him down..he was really upset and seemed sad..all his work related files were inside the labtop.. his fam pictures..etc..I felt sorry 4 him, called him the next day( at his afternoon time)asking howโ€™s everything..he said nothing yet.. and tomorrow my flight and donโ€™t really know what 2 do so I had to cheer him up a lil with my sence of humour which btw he likes a lot.. then he has to be the one to end the fone call saying he has a lot of things 2 do.. I was fine and said goodbyeโ€ฆ 2 day he traveledโ€ฆ no fone call.. only 1 txt: โ€œHello dear, I am in the plane now, I wish you were coming, Take care!!โ€

    WHAT THAAAA!! I WISH U WERE COMING? Dude u ditched me and decided 2 go with ur cousine! Now u wishing ! I really wanted to reply.. keep wishing! Well.. to be honest I felt good and bad at the same time!! Heโ€™s really bi-polar!!
    I replied: โ€œI wish u a pleasant trip and good time, weโ€™ll plan it better next time..take careโ€
    He txt me back when he got there saying that he arrived! And that was it! No call no nothing!! ..
    Oooh Man never wrote so much in my life! Hehe probably I could use this for my thesis! Hehe..now am helpless! In first 4 weeks we saw each others 6 times, and talked on the fone almost twice a day! and now in past week I didnโ€™t even see him and he never asked me out.. and didnโ€™t have a normal fone call! Thingโ€™s definitely changed after I asked him that day! I know that for a fact! so what should I do now! Am so obsessed about him, I canโ€™t get him out of my mind, I try to keep myself busy as much as possible but itโ€™s helpless! I am intimidated my him! Iโ€™ve never wanted a guy like I wanted this 1 b4.. biggest shock of my life was when I found out heโ€™s a TAURUS..he told me heโ€™s Taurus at the beinging but I thought he might be different I guess itโ€™s my Leo ego was talking!!!

    I really need some1 2 tell me what to do? Did he lose interest in me? should I give him a break or something? how should I react if he asks me out again? Should tell him I am busy those days? Or should I go for it?

  1769. #1769 by saggi81 on May 13, 2010 - 7:44 am

    hi lionessbabe,

    i have been through that before and i know many questions must be burning inside of ya. i wish i have all the right answers, i can only share what i have gathered from my bull: they can make u wait for many many weeks but if they are interested, they return! when they return, they must have had some issues sorted out and each time they come back to you, the surer he is of the relationship, slowly but surely. if he asked u out again, i would suggest u can try saying u would need to check if u r hanging out wif family or the girls then reply. appear eager but gently does it. says u can rearrange the appointments to meet him. they love gentle womanly ladies who are interested in them!
    my 2cents, hope its useful in one way or another.

  1770. #1770 by Wind on May 14, 2010 - 4:25 pm

    Saggi girl,

    My Taurus and me never define the term bf and gf until now. When I ask him about this title he always refuse to answer or say like that you are a smart girl why did you always ask unnecessary question (lol), you are who you want to be, that why I can said that he never say out loud I am his gf. But, I think, only one in his/her situation can answer exactly it can be. I know he loves me from his action, his take care, he always beside me, although we had not enough time for each other (maybe not enough for me but too enough for him, ๐Ÿ™‚

    One day, when we woke up, he look into my eyes, asked me to move to his house. I first thought he is kidding me, he did things out of my suprised, so I agree right away. Then we have a lot of time to share, we can talk during night, go out with each other…He is like bunch of actions.

  1771. #1771 by Mia on May 18, 2010 - 2:30 am

    Ariesfire,
    If you still come to this blog, I am so sorry for your story. Oh sweetie, protect ur heart. I would start backing off slowly… i’m learning from my own situation that if you don’t allow time to heal from one relationship, u may keep going from relationship to the next without healing which causes more hurt…. especially if they overlap!

    i think u may need a break from all this chaos. u need security and trust in a relationship. he has two women at his beck -n- call from what i see…

    if he needs to lie to his ex-girlfriend in order to be with his child, then u can tell him that he does not have to lie anymore… that you will leave him so he can be truthful. i just don’t think i could be with a guy that allows for being dishonest in his relationships for whatever reason.

    from what you wrote, i see a ton of heartache in the future for you and it would kill me to know that she stays with him with their daughter…

    if you are craving male attention, then plan things with guys and gals around you, or join a dating site or a site that you can join locally that shares the same stuff you like… wine tasting, outdoorsy stuff, book clubs, athletic clubs, etc.

    you need some positive stuff and people that support and love you around you now!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  1772. #1772 by Mia on May 18, 2010 - 4:09 am

    Saggi, Saggi81, Jane;) Lionessbabe, & Wind,

    Saggi, Jane & I have been thru much here. Saggi, i hope ur feeling better, i know it is so hard & u love him so… i am still dying inside myself.

    my story is my guy would get very close, then break it off, the last one was when he invited me to easter dinner w/ his family, when i could not go, he invites me the next weekend camping, only i later find out he invited another gal camping, then ultimately went to the lake with his guy friend who’s gf is best friend is the gal he does a bunch of stuff with but is not serious with…

    he never ended it officially with me, just stopped calling, texting all together but acts mad at me…. when he first started dropping me, i just thought he did not have time, so i would still call and ask advice on stuff, always as friends… and he just said, he thinks i am just finding stuff to call him about, so that was all it took. i did NOT contact him after that.

    now it is just the opposite. he is a coach for our team, and i had to ask him a question… on email… he got snippy with me, whatever… he said i was the only one to ask, and that he had sent info in an email… i said, ‘my apologies if he sees that he put in my email address…” meaning if he did send it out he did not have my name on it… he replied, ‘there u go again, having to get last word in, u win.’ lol, whateva… he always said that and no one has ever told me about getting in last word? hmmm… you see, he pulls it back to personal?

    i keep it strictly about sports, and he pulls it back to personal… his friends are like thinking it may not be over with him and me… but i am telling them it is that he has moved on cuz if he is not calling me, texting me, asking me out, it’s done. i consider myself single and may just get on a dating site… then his friend says don’t do that i am too pretty for that… he has been wanting me to go out with him but i would never go out with him as he is my guy’s friend, plus i am not over him …

    back in early january, his friend called me saying, ‘now that u and m are over …. blah blah he was asking me out.’ i was livid with my guy and did not even know we were through totally… i called him and told him to let me know when we are through before telling his friends, then trying to pawn me off on his friends…

    well, i told him i can’t and we got back on then he disappeared again at easter because he got a new boat and he is using it at the lake and they are his ‘ticket’ to free docking, a place to stay for free, blah, blah…

    it is wierd cuz at one time i told the gal that he is friends with that we were dating, now he does more stuff with her, calls her and talks with her in front of me like they are the couple now, and he has totally gone…. all this time, when i tell him she likes him, he says oh no they are only friends, she’s ‘ugly’ … (she is a bit plain and not feminine) and this other girl that i am hanging out with now, says he did the same thing with her that he did with me, even saying he tried to kiss her??? she is well… overweight and kind of plain… i don’t want to say anything bad about them, they are sweet, but i am soooo different from them… but i just can’t believe he has been intimate with them, as we were intimate and both so very attracted to each other… i still think he is attracted to me and i am moving on

    wondering if he will ever be back when he outlives this lake stuff… ?

    i am doing things with the guy friends he likes, they are cool and he has been calling them, and i am going to be with them hanging out friday, and he may just show up…. ? hmmm…

    i am NOT contacting him at all now… but the funny is, he will find ways to contact me asking me questions even while he is in the company of her and others… ? u see, i am not mean to him at all, have never been mean to him, always nice, classy and there for him… as a friend…

    i have always been curious why he dropped all communication with me.. the last time we were messenging, it became a bit intimate, and he stopped abruptly and never messaged again … that is when everything just stopped. he dropped me totally from that moment on… i think that has a lot to do with it??? so wierd… he said, ‘brb’ real quick… but each time i jump to the obvious conclusion on things with him, it has turned out to be harmless… so i am hestitant to jump here…

    i’ll let u know how it goes, it hurts but hoping time will heal…

    deep down i just don’t think he is done with me.. and i am hoping in time he will miss me…

  1773. #1773 by saggi81 on May 19, 2010 - 11:51 am

    Hi Mia dear,

    When i read your entry, i feel so turbulent inside me cuz u sound juz like me! especially the “but each time i jump to the obvious conclusion on things with him, it has turned out to be harmless”!!! more often than not, i malign him but always caught in a delimma. not sure to believe him or not, whether its for real, is he gonna stay… the list goes on..
    time does heal darling but i came to realise we cant really let go. Its been so long between me and that guy and i have sworn to leave him over and over again. i have refused to believe what others say about him superficially – anyway u would know the best right? u r d one who spent time wif him and thats real of cuz, believe in ur judgement! just 1 month ago, i would be really suave and say “been there and done that girls” but me and him r talking again! he took the initiative this time and i really wanna believe it when he is all sweet and kind. he is behaving almost like a gemini person now! my heart aches when i see him with the fiancee (in pictures, dont think he will ever allow us to meet) but i promised to be a friend yet sometimes it is him who cant let go of the past.
    now i feel weak n vulnerable again, can they be trusted when they say they r true? why does he distant again and if they are liars, why do they seem so sincere sometimes?

  1774. #1774 by saggi girl on May 19, 2010 - 5:15 pm

    saggi81,

    it is so funny we both are saggi girls who deal with a bull headed person.. we are so burried into their charm and can not pull ourselves out.. LOL

    yeah, i would agree with you: do not listen to other people’s opinion but listent to youself..as you are the one spending time with him.. not other people. I think they are just using common sense to analyze the situation, sometimes, we do need to have common sense, but not all the time..

    sometimes, taking a break was not a bad thing at least to my situation with my bull when things got out of control.. I am on a break with my bull.. LOL

  1775. #1775 by saggi81 on May 21, 2010 - 12:59 am

    hi babes!
    i read some depressing stuff abt taurus men/booty calls etc online but i would not allow myself to think of my dear friend this way! i m not a foolish girl and i have analyzed me and him for damn a long way. so i wanna have the right mindset and confidence that i m a worthy friend to him, cuz there are times when we just chat about politics/philosophy/work and he doesnt seem to be all that hard up (down there) haha.. but sometimes when he gets really crazy akin to mad cow he is obsessed about his fantasy and will talk to me about steamy stuff. hmmm.. i miss the goodie him when that happens!

    saggi girl,
    spot on! i guess your situation is better than mine cuz mine is attached to another gurl and we r juz not destined. i have accepted my fate. tinge of bittersweet in me but its ok. we r afterall optimists n i have suitors too thugh i really lurve him lots i think i need to change to an angle n learn to accept reality that we r only very good friends!
    still wanna wish u all the best n sweetness in the relationship!

  1776. #1776 by Jane on May 25, 2010 - 7:43 pm

    Saggi girl, Mia and all you new lovely ladies here!

    I just thought I would check in with you and see how you are doing, I read still so much Taurus bullshit drama!! Oh boy. You are all doing so great. I miss you saggi and mia, I never got to chat with the other ladies.

    Yes my bull broke my heart, I never heard from him again saggi. He totally disappeared off radar!!
    I will never understand what truly happened and I guess now I will never find out. It just was never meant to be.
    His loss, I do believe that.

    I miss you ladies I made lovely friends here but now I guess its time to say goodbye, how mad it would be for me to keep coming back here as I would not have any Taurus craziness to add!! Lol how sad.

    Hey saggi, you know how practical Taurus are so when your guy says he can not guarantee the future, to him he is just being realistic and protecting himself! Come on saggi you know more than anyone from your time with your bull, these men are so adorable yet down right self centered! (at times! Lol) and do not hesitate and not think of the impact their words and actions have on us wonderful ladies who put up with them (well cant include me there anymore!) you know how it goes. You are so right to feel as you do and I do believe as I always have, your guy loves you, he would not bother if he didnโ€™t, you know that. Yes you want some idea of a future plan and I agree you need some reassurance from him. You have certainly earned that from being his woman all this time!
    Saggi, you comment on how good people have patience with their guy an YOU saggi have so much patience, like everyone else you have had your drama and you come up smiling in the end, then the next drama and you smile again. These guys are truly worth it I do still believe that. Remember saggi how you guy said for you to give him 6 months and see how you both feel about whether he can offer future, maybe you can call him on it!
    You have both come so farโ€ฆโ€ฆdonโ€™t give up now,keep working on him, doing what you are doing as you must be doing it right as he still beside you!

    I wish you saggi all the very best with your guy, you deserve so much happiness, never settle for less my friend. I mean it.
    Mia, your guy clearly is still not knowing what it is he wants! He can somehow never leave you alone though that is for sure! Goodness you too have the patience of a saint, good luck to you, keep up the good work Mia, go for what you want.

    It is a long road with Taurus, hard going but I for sure would much prefer Taurus men!! Lol who knows one day mine will return. Hey maybe it will be too late and I will be swept off my feet by some truly deserving guy lol who knows.

    Love and hugs to you all xxxxx

  1777. #1777 by saggi81 on May 26, 2010 - 12:19 am

    hey everyone,

    just wanted to add something i thought noteworthy, ever found out his venus sign?! the key to their heart lies in the venus sign.. my FRIEND is a gemini when it comes to matters of the heart, that kinda explains why he is ALWAYS confused with the GIRLS around him! ha.. anyway he was just telling me about some past relationships he had and though i was calm as i exposed his lies, he said i was getting upset over trivial things. ??!! i told him i should have been more upset in the past over the dramas, not anymore boy!
    yeah thats my update! hope everyone is doing fine!

    Jane – hi girl, nice to see your entry, i sincerely hope u do find a fabulous guy who treasures u! do hop by!

  1778. #1778 by dolly on June 1, 2010 - 2:17 pm

    So interesting reading the posts, Im and Aries, My taurus guy, I met and we had a relationship when we were 16, and 27 years later, got in touch out of the blue, declaring his undying love for me, its been a stessfull 9 months, cos he was in a relationship, which he wasnt happy in, and we have txd everyday and had conversations by phone, we live in different islands, but I have had my life on hold and been in limbo, for 9 months now, he has just last week or so, moved out and split from his partner, but the last couple of months he has been ill with worry etc, and the txts have been less and less and also phone calls, then suddenly yesterday, he wants to call me, and like now!! and was completely over the top on the phone, saying we both know what we want and its each other, and wanting to book a week or weekend away, and he loves me, cant wait to see me, etc, I was speechless. but so happy. Then today, he is quiet, still ill, says he thinks he is breaking down, i asked if i can call him, cos im worried, and , no reply, silence again. It definately is a roller coaster, and I dont really know what im letting myself in for, I believe and trust his feelings are genuine, I sort of know him cos of our child hood, but I have noticed he is so up at one minute, then down the next, Im not use to being treated like this. Should I just be patient, and hold on. Im so confused!!!

  1779. #1779 by saggi girl on June 1, 2010 - 5:05 pm

    dolly,

    i don’t know what to tell you but i just broke up with my bull aftr 2.5 years of being together..he was like that too. putting my on a roller coaster, when i asked him if he loves me , he said he did.. but we broke up yesterday and he finally told me that truth that he did not want to be with me in the future as he did not love me more enough to be a life partner in his eye. he said that he has been forcing himself to be with me… forced his heart.. but who forced him?

    I think it was just an excuse for him to get out of the relationship when he is no longer enjoying it with commitment.. i don’t know what to tell you, and i don’t know if they are the common trait for taurus guy, but after i dealt with this one, i don’t want to date another one. as they are wishy washy, do not really know what they really want, and they tend to over think things…which is tiresome.

  1780. #1780 by dolly on June 1, 2010 - 10:28 pm

    Saggi girl

    I am so sorry that you have split from your bull, and thank you for replying. I hope your okay, xx

    I am slowly going off the Idea of this man, as I am an aries, i am so impatient, and I have been so patient with him over these months, and has made me ill, too, which he doesnt seem to acknowledge, it seems to all be about him, and on his terms, I am slowly running out of fire for him, and getting a bit bored of his promises that he breaks. The thing is we havnt met for many many years, and probably holding onto the past. One minute I think i know him, the next I havnt got a clue, I am due to meet him shortly, but we will see, probably another let down, I just really now want to get on with my life, and be happy, I didnt even start all this, he did, which makes me so angry, Its a long long story. When I have said in the past, Ive had enough, and letting him go, he comes back, pulling on my heartstrings, and I fall for it everytime, anyway we will see, what happens, but Im getting bored now, which aries will, if nothing is happening!!!

  1781. #1781 by saggi81 on June 2, 2010 - 3:53 am

    Hi saggi girl,

    hey dear.. sorry to hear that.. i think he has said smthg similar to me 4 years back later ate his words again. i have been reading alot and toking to him alot. i think they are truly indecisive but they always later on regret yet refuse to admit.
    anyway i really wish all the best to u and hope u will find a nice hottie soon! i am always here to lend a listening ear, i m still really trying to study this guy like a research topic. dont take it to heart, u deserve better! sincerely!

  1782. #1782 by Tinker on June 3, 2010 - 9:46 am

    Have finally read all the posts! WOW, what us girls put ourselves through for these crazy taurus!

    Saggi Girl so sorry to hear you guys have broken up but not surprised at all, it’s funny cos should you read all your previous posts you will see all the signs that this man did not want the things you wanted, but like me we see only what we want to see! i’m just gald he was honest enough with you in the end which is as much as your gonna get with these bulls!

    I have been with my bull for 2.5 yrs too so I know what you have been going through!, only differance with me is I stopped waiting for him to come around after the first 5 month! he is never gonna want the things I want but still refuse to let me go!

    Dolly
    Not a good idea hun to get involved with any guy just out of a unhappy relationship, let alone a TAURUS!, this man will use you in the long run as an emotional crutch and you will never get the best of him only what he deems fit to give you which judging from his emotional problems wont be much right now.

    Girls keep your chins up, and lets stop settleing for less from any man when we know the truth which is… we deserve the best from everyman, and if he can’t rise to our challenges ladies we need to learn how to move on with grace and poise.

    Love & peace to you all xx

  1783. #1783 by Diane on June 8, 2010 - 6:03 pm

    Now before you ladies read this you need to get your hearts all untwisted. You will need to think with the right part of your body which is your head not your heart. The wonderful breed of Taurus man that most of you are referring to here is the insecure selfish shelf absorbed narcissist horseโ€™s ass type. Well actually, he knows exactly how to play the right people to get the right things not just women. He does love to collect material things including you as long as you hold value. It starts out all wonderful because you are all shinny and new. You feel new, you smell new, you taste new, you look new, you sound new he is all about the senses and nothing beyond that unfortunately. If he canโ€™t do all the 5 senses on you in his small world and feel good you donโ€™t exist. In the beginning he will say all the right things as he feels you out for what you can give or do for him. Then if you have something financially, emotionally, mentally, or physically that he can use in the moment you instantly become his friend. He will call you a million times, email you a million times, show up at your house unannounced and the list goes on. In the beginning he will work you by taking out your garbage, cutting your grass, wanting you to ride around all over the place with him while he does his chores (only because he doesnโ€™t want to do it alone), he will give you advice that you will later find he doesnโ€™t even take himself, he will load and unload your dishwasher, cook you some meal (these type are rare), take you to Burger King or buy you a pizza, rent a DVD, cuddle on the couch with you while you watch a movie (he) likes. He will do all kinds of little things at first then about 3 or 4 months later after he has you hooked and has gotten most of what he wants from you and you are no longer all shinny and new you will start to hear stuff like, all his fโ€”king personal problems, he will tell you he has commitment troubles or he decided it is going to fast. Than when you get upset you might hear something like I wasnโ€™t looking for a relationship or not enough time has gone by or Iโ€™m really busy or I donโ€™t know if I can ever love you or I like to take things real slow and there are more excuses but these are a few of the ones Iโ€™ve heard from my 1st X Taurus and only the first one got over on me. lol Funny little cowardly user people they are these special insecure breed of Taurus men. Once they are done with you they will ignore you and only give you just enough to try and keep you hanging on in case they need something else from you and if they do find they need you the game will start all over again. They have this fear of letting go just incase they havenโ€™t squeezed all the juice out of you yet. Ladies if a man no matter what man loves you and cares about you he will not treat you like these Taurus men you are talking about here. Not all but some Taurus men as well as other men just have a knack of knowing how to use people better than others. If you look back over this forum and read how many women are experiencing the exact same type of manipulation and the same complaints who have ended up without that so called wonderful man you will see they are not worth it. What kind of man would want to torment you in order to see if you were worthy you have got to be joking! When I date a man I want to know right up front what their intent is. Not saying I ask the first few dates but it doesnโ€™t take me long before I ask and if I donโ€™t hear exactly what I want itโ€™s history. Investment of ones heart is not worth the mental and emotional abuse you will suffer later really. No man can come and do little things for me and get my attention without me knowing exactly what their intent is and it should be the same for all women of any self respect. You have to be tuned into this insecure breed watch them and ladies really listen to them and I mean really hear what they say not what you think they are saying. They have this way of saying things in a dialect so that they can come back and say well that isnโ€™t what I meant so that the slippery little users can exit without a guilty conscious. Some of them are cheap and the reason they want you to come to their house is because they are lazy and as one woman put it they love their cave. It feels good to them like their little blue blanket did when they were a kid and they probably still have the bitch stuffed away in some neat closet. They want you to do all the work like a scullery maid while they lay back like some king and you pop grapes into their mouths and fan them. Now keep in mind I am not referring to all Taurus men only the special insecure breed most here are talking about.
    Now come on ladies I know all of you are pretty and smart because Taurus men do not like ugly or dumb women. Your only chance with this special breed is if they canโ€™t find someone better to replace you with then you have them but after all the crap they put you though one would think that the build up of resentment would be enough to not even want to continue the relationship. As for me, I will only forgive so many indecisions and I will not allow someone to continue to blame me because they keep fโ€”king up and wonโ€™t listen to how what they keep doing within reason keeps making me feel bad about them and the relationship. I donโ€™t feel bad about myself I feel bad about them and the relationship that isnโ€™t worth my time or effort. You all mope and gravel and stop your lives because some insecure shit canโ€™t seem to do the right thing by you. The problem does not lie with you it lies with him. Do you get my point? Oh and they will eventually get lazy in bed.

  1784. #1784 by Tinker on June 9, 2010 - 1:39 pm

    oh Diane, I have not laughed so hard in a long time! You girl are what this post has needed from day one! If you ever come back to this site I would love to know how long you were with your Taurus to learn soooo much about them cos girl you are spot on with EVERYTHING you said! I so wish I found this site two years previous it would have saved me so much headache,
    My taurus and I are still good friends cos that’s all I can handle, him too mad for me, and I am mad myself and he can’t take my mouth when I start on him! (weak arse bull) but I have gotten to know him as a man as he has finally let down his guard and now tells me everything that he is about and let me tell you they are so detached from reality and life and real love its sad, women are just toys to them but because they are the epitome of what MAN is, TALL, STRONG DEEP VOICE CHARMING, women just fall for them Hard!

    Thank you for your input hun as it’s nice to know that all the things I was thinking about this man are true and now I can be as hard on him as i like and feel no pain! ( he he he )

  1785. #1785 by Diane on June 10, 2010 - 1:28 am

    Tinker

    Your Taurus man wants to stay friends with you because he knows he can. He knows your heart is still invested. See he can use you when he doesnโ€™t have something else he would rather be doing or when he doesnโ€™t have anything else to do in general. It is all about him and his small world that he lives in. He also does the exact same things day after day. The only time he ever comes out of that small world of his is if he is forced to do so then he becomes angry and mean or sulks like a little baby and ruins it for everyone because he isnโ€™t happy. I put up with that crap the first time for almost a year and when I ended it I really ended it believe me we arenโ€™t friends. The second time was only for about 2 months and we arenโ€™t friends either. Had it been a just friends relationship from the beginning then we would be friends but that is not what they wanted in the beginning. This breed of Taurus man is so lazy in a relationship it isnโ€™t even funny but why should they do any work when they have all you ladies doing it for them. They train their women well by using the womanโ€™s heart. They donโ€™t really do all those little things for you they do them for themselves because they know they will get more than what they gave in return. Let me show you what I mean. Lets say he takes out your garbage and unloads your dishwasher and in return you make him dinner. Well you used your gas to go to the store, you paid for the food, you slaved to make it, you paid for the electric or gas to cook it, then you cleaned up the mess. Understand now how they think? I would rather he leave my garbage and dishwasher alone and take me to Burger King that way we are using his gas and his money and I donโ€™t have to clean up any mess. lol

  1786. #1786 by Tinker on June 10, 2010 - 8:54 am

    Diane,
    You really are too much, where have you been all my life? of course your right! as i’m sure you know, however we did start out as friends in the beginning which is the only reason why I think we can pull it off now so easy! there were serious issues sorrounding us from the off so I knew things would be difficult and my late father was a taurus so I do have first hand experiance as to what these men are capable of, thinking back I should have run a mile, but alas!
    and yes I do still hae feelings for him i’d be lying if I said otherwise, there is just something about this crazy bull that I just can’t get my big head round! lol

    I’m actually in a relationship with a Sagi at the mo so mr bull does not actually have that much rein in my life anymore, not enough to use me anymore anyway’s! but yes when we were seeing each other he was lazy, I thought at first it was his age (45) or his illness (diabetes!) lol. now I know that he is just a lazy arse who just wanted everything to come to him!

    (p.s, don’t suppose you know anything about sagi men? need all the help I can get hun!)

  1787. #1787 by Diane on June 12, 2010 - 2:28 pm

    No sorry wished I could help you out but I donโ€™t know any Sagi men or women. After my last fling with the second X Taurus I decided to take a sabbatical from men in general. Two Taurusโ€™s in a row just about sucked the life from me lol. I hope you find your Sagi guy is a dream and hope he treats you good. Try to stay clear of that special breed of Taurus man that most here are talking about because they really do like to torment and torture when things arenโ€™t going as they want. Mean as hell they are.

  1788. #1788 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 14, 2010 - 3:12 pm

    Hi Ladies (and gents if you happen to be reading this like I am). I have spent an hour reading this blog and I MUST SAY- I LOL’ed heartily about 10 times!

    Very entertaining and insightful blog this is. Now I see that each of you are sharing fascinations and problems with your Taurus guys. That’s both awesome and yes, I agree, troublesome. We are a troublesome, mysteriously natured kind of guy. Confident no other male Zodiacs can rival some of the stubborness and whimsical natures we offer in volumes. You know what I am talking about.

    Before I go on. A little about myself. I am a 24 year old Taurus Male- old enough to have been in a few relationships. I would say out of the 10 relationships in my life I have dated 4 seriously, SUPER seriously- not that they haven’t been a roller-coaster ( I see that word used a lot here ;)) and yes Us Taurus guys are partly to blame for that. My b-day is the 16th of May and by god, once I started reading up on my zodiac, I was like sh*T, that’s me.

    So reading these comments doesn’t surprise me entirely, but it does intrigue me. I am thoroughly a very potent and pure Taurus and PROUD OF IT. We KNOW we have an air about us that can make people either think we are ridiculously boring , but also more often leave people somewhat awed- in the good way :). Right now I am dating a beautiful Libra and think she is THE world. However as intense and observant species as we are, we do notice other signs, especially female Zodiacs and are intrigued by them too. HOWEVER- not in an unloyal way! For example, I am suddenly, inexplainably INTRANCED with a fellow Taurus female- more on that later.

    Once we find the woman we love- we will submit ourselves to this (lucky? you be the judge) woman for eternity. WE HATE CHANGE. HATE IT. We LOVE Stability! That is why, once we find a suitable woman, despite our baffling, sometimes erratic and inconsistent behavior, you will pretty dam* well know we want you. We need need you. We will live for YOU, not for us.

    Although there are a few things you need to know if you want to have some measure of romantic, compatibility with a Taurus guy. We NEED our space. Must have it. Like a bull in need of pasture land to roam, guys of this Zodiac will do whatever it takes to have our space and freedom for days, weeks, months, and in the worst case- years on end. That is who we are. That is how we deal with the world. We often retreat when we don’t understand things and trust me, we can be slow to understand many important things that a lot of other Male Zodiacs I am sure you ladies have encountered picked up on right away. Rest assured- once we understand how you feel or the right course of action, we come out of our retreat with a new vision, a new direction in life and will immediately, yet patiently and methodically implement what we have learned. AND WE NEVER FORGET IT. Being programed is a good description of a Taurus. We must have routine, some organization. We loathe complication- we prefer simplicity. However, I bet you are asking “what?” then why are Taurus men so Fr*akin complicated sometimes…….???????????

    Like…. why are we sometimes in a particular mood with seemingly no reason? I will try to answer this. Mostly we are reactionaries. My self describing term that stands for the fact that our perspective on the world is all based on reactions- of other people and the result of our behaviors come out of reactions to things we experience, definitely a trait of an earth sign. The kicker here though, is that you ladies can not always see what causes, caused out reaction. I wish I could help change this for you, I REALLY do. But no advice I can shed on this will change the fact that a Taurus guy will one day be in good spirits, good communication, good rhythm. I know, through experience, that you adore us at this point. Would not trade anything for this state of a Taurus guy. I can smile at this. I know it is the very best we have to offer- we can be the sweetest soul- do random acts of kindness, romance….. blindly so. Catch you by surprise. Yes, yes, yes. I have been there and done these things, for quite a few Zodiac women. If we open up to you with our heats and feelings… feel honored, just be honored even if you can not UNDERSTAND our blossoming power we will relentless send to you…………………

    And then there is the dark side to this. One I am not proud of, and probably the reason many of you women have decided to write in this blog.

    More directly, to you Jane. You talk about how you are hoping your Taurus guy comes back and how you have started using a dating website to further that goal. Well I really hope your Taurus man does come back and makes you happy again. Just know that if he has deep feelings for you, then you will see him again. Better yet, if he loves you, he will certainly be back. But he may need some space first.

    Taurus guys are the most particular when we have been hurt…. we definitely do the things like you ladies say “turtle” up. Hide even. Become total recluses. This is to heal. So please respect this process for us even if you don’t understand like “why the heck is he impossible to connect with now? things seemed so good….” its because we are healing. If we care about you in any capacity, but ALWAYs if we are in love… we will eat ourselves ALIVE going in and out of these self healing processes until we feel comfortable again.

    I caution you Jane though…. being on a dating site is going to be problematic for your Taurus guy. You state here you are on it to catch his attention again…. but he sees otherwise. And in the worst way. Taurus men are reknowned for jealously. Oh yes…. we are jealous creatures!!! We will DEMAND your heart and selfishly guard it. Any other males getting close to it we see ABOVE all other threats, to be the worst threat. We will devote endless resources to winning you back if we love you…. only and if we love you. Otherwise… you will be perplexed why we didn’t chase you longer…. its because we do not need to if we just have casual interest. Seriously. We will let the other male Zodiacs go at you like pent up guys at a dance who outnumber the female dancers 10:1. We will sit back and observe. See if you have any class, any mannerisms. We detest flashy, risky women. Sorry ladies if I am describing you to some degree. But if you expect to go out and show tons of skin, draw outsider male attention, and you expect a Taurus male to be COOL with it? You might as well pack your bags that night and leave. We will leave and isolate you faster than a patient trying to escape the dentist. haha Seriously.

    Now mature Taurus, and I can safely think, I have matured enough to write on this blog about this- will with great reluctance let go of the chains of their woman so that she may hang out with her guy friends. As long as we can trust the guy friends. Good idea and I know from my Libra gf forcing me to do it… is to introduce your Taurus man to your male friends and make them feel comfortable. If you have honorable, non flirtatious male friends, regardless of Zodiac, than a Taurus man will finally accept them and you. We want to make you happy. And simply put, most females need their guy friends as much as they need their female friends. Taurus are SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW to understand this. It took me years!!! For years I was jealous of any other guy even talking to my woman. Would have started a war with him if I could have and not played fair.

    So yes this is a bad trait of Taurus male. However, you can counter this using logic, persuasion, and in extreme cases refuse to cook us good food or have sex with us. Yes I can not believe I am suggesting these weapons in the game of love, (sorry my fellow Taurus guys), but if you ladies do not know a path to our stomachs than guess what? You probably have not had sexual relations with us. PERIOD. END OF STORY.

    So these are weapons and tools to get us to do what you want us to do. Use them wisely and do not abuse them- if you do we will literally, literally sniff your motives out and roam somewhere else, especially if we are hurt by being so controlling in this way. We may go be in solidarity and even find another female if we are not in a serious relationship or married to you. So I caution you- do not exploit our weaknesses. You may use them to make a point however and we get the message loud and clear. We are a primal species and if we can not have the most basic things in life… we get upset and will react- positively or negatively. Exploitation, when conceived with manipulation in mind, is like stabbing us in the heart. We can not tolerate it. We are generally kind, polite beings, and always try to have good faith in others. You may have noticed this huh? But equally so- we are very suspicious of others, especially new people. So we remain very guarded and reserved.

    I love the fact and so do my fellow Taurus men that we can be in a room packed with people (not our number one place to be mind you- that would either be in nature or in our home) and we can say nothing. Just stare at you ladies, even men. And totally make your mental wheels spin asking… what the heck is he doing? We get off on this. We get off on being secretive, unpredictable during this social times. Because you know what? We are very predictable once you get our emotions ironed out.

    Am I right or am I right? hahaha we are so predictable in our routines that you could call us uninspired, tired, and forgetable even. We can wear the same boring clothes for days and think nothing of it. For you fashion concious minded females- this I KNOW- drives you insane. My Libra woman lets me know every little chance she gets. She is so classy and I am impressed with her style- attention to detail. She could put on a simply color matching blouse to her shoes and as a Taurus I will admire it greatly. Because we have a very simple, pragmatic approach to dress. Always. To the point that we are viewed by you fashion minded Zodiacs as…. well not much better than beasts wearing clothes lol. Taurus men hate having to deal with dressing up everyday, it doesn’t do much for us. We just want people to like us for who we are, on the inside. However, don’t be fooled. We look for beauty and know to get beauty, you have to attract a beautiful woman with your dress. Therefore, when the occasion is right and we are in a good mood- we will put on a nice shirt, shoes, or dress suit and knock you ladies off your feet. And we feel good doing it. Just not as frequently as you would like. Hope that clears us up on our dress.

    In general we are creatures who appreciate health, cleanliness, and longevity. We do not have much interest in women who disrespect their bodies. Be warned- if you smoke, do not exercise, or do not stay active to the point that we notice you are not healthy — we will lose some interest- if we genuinely care for you (friend, family, lover) then we will devote endless time trying to support you to become healthier. We like healthy women. However if you become sick, temporarily or terminally- a Taurus man is probably the best you can have at your side. We like to care and feel purposeful doing it. We will spend every last penny to see you better.

    We view vitality as a good meter of how you will be in bed, in romance, and in spirit. Yes, to those of you of age women who are with or after a Taurus for beyond just dating… but for marriage and a family. That is THE MOST CRITICAL junction of our lives just as it is for you. In general, Taurus men and woman want to have families. Yes, Taurus men dream of being fathers one day. I do. It is so natural to us that nothing can compare. We are an earth sign- so this is right up our ally.

    I bet you are saying… geezzz this is long winded. Sorry ladies and guys. I wish I could make this shorter. But that would be a waste. I am going to try to answer everything I can possible about a Taurus male, as I am one, and it will take some time. So please be patient if you are reading this so far and you will be rewarded with some insight.

    Furthermore, if you are perplexed why I am sharing so much on here when a lot of you ladies think Taurus are bad a communication- I think I saw one of you rate us a 2… out of a 5 or 10 point scale… hahaha well still bad either way. Yeah, about that, verbal communication we suck at. No other way to say that. Written communication… like what i am doing now, well now, that’s something we can tango with. It allows us pace and metered communication that we can do at our own leisurely speed. Perfect for us. Maybe less so for you ladies, so I apologize on behalf of my fellow Tauruses. But we like to leave a lot unsaid and just understood.

    Advice: you will never impress a Taurus male more than if you can just read into his mind and heart somehow and show, NOT SAY, what we are thinking, feeling. We literally drool at the mouth thinking of a woman who can do this. This is because we know we have an AMAZING ability to read into people and to tell them things they can not even register about themselves. To have the same thing happen back to us is like a mind blowing orgasm within a social context. That is, between two people that is the tops for us. For our lady to “feel” us and take action without saying anything. You may have noticed this? If you can pull this off… you probably will always have a Taurus male friend or lover for life.

    Personally, I do not consider myself an intellectual, but do like to stimulate the brain from time to time. So do quiz or play games with your Taurus man and he may play along. We trust our feelings and intuition any day over our mind, but sometimes we know we have to think things through and slow down to make a good decision. We are not impulsive, in fact the opposite. However don’t be shy about letting us know to think things through, otherwise we will plow forward with our gut and feelings. We trust them the most. Therefore, if you want to appeal to us. We are more easily coaxed by a “feeling” argument. Like guilting us into going out on the town with you. Or touching our stomach and feeling, listening for our hunger (food that is). You can appeal to us with a concise, well thought out mental arrow that flies off the bow and hits right on target. Anything less and your attempt at getting us to do something with a mental tactic will fail. Utterly fail. My Libra woman is expectional at this… she can make mental arguments that I can not refuse the logic of.

    When in the right mood, Taurus males can talk a storm with a person one on one, less so with a group. Do note this. Do not expect us to be thrust into a social setting with tons of people and to talk a lot, because we will entrench all hooves on the ground and not budge one inch. If anything we will retreat inward.

    HMMMMMMMMMM what next… ohhh yes- one of the best subjects on a Taurus guy for last. Romance, Chemistry, and Sex. We CRAVE ALL THREE. Together. Almost all the time. We are not sex addicts like I hear Gemini’s can be, but certainly LOVE IT. Maybe this is ggetting to personal. But have you had sexual relations with a Taurus male? Well I haven’t of course lol (that weird Taurus humor for ya!) but I can say as one engaging in sex with my Libra woman and in the past other Zodiacs women that we love to be sensual and touch you all over. We like to explore you like map. We will listen to make you gasp, moan, and surrender your feelings and passions to us. We DEMAND them!!! You must surrender to us in the bedroom or we will know right away and call you out on it. Yes, our dual edged sword; our bluntness! We are never more blunt than we are during sex and we are never more physical than we are during sex. Sex = romance to us.

    I repeat: Sex= Romance to us.

    Do not think you can pull off a relationship with a mature Taurus and not give him a healthy appetite of sex. No way in a cold frozen hell. We can be patient for it. But as Taurus males, we must know we are getting sex (aka- sensual passion) from you at some point. And we will keep waiting for it. We stay up night thinking about doing it with our woman. We really do. Maybe as much as you ladies think about it during times of the month. I know for a fact after being with a Taurus woman that sex is a serious, serious need for the female of this Zodiac. IN fact, it caught me off guard just how primal this Taurus woman had a need for it. That is because, when we romance, we do the complete package. We like to dine with our lover, enjoy eating good food and drink, then we like to find a quiet place, and make love for hours… yes hours. I made love with my Taurus woman for 7 hours straight, just kissing and caressing when we first spent the night together over a year and a half ago. It was amazing. We did not even have sex- although we wanted to. But yes, I can not say this enough, sex equals romance for us. At the end of sex- we are a rare zodiac too in that we will definitely want to cuddle with you just as much as you females will seek to cuddle with us. That usually tells a woman that you are not with her just to get into her pants, and trust me, all good Taurus guys are not just with a woman to get into her pants. That would be pointless to us. A waste of energy.

    The lack of sex sometimes has caused friction for my Libra girlfriend. So we have to compromise. But when its hot and on- yeah…. its definitely on. Another thing about Taurus- we either go all the way or nothing at all- no middle ground for us.

    I have been with a Scorpio woman and let me tell you, the opposite attract things is definitely spot on. I was entranced with her eyes. And she was powerful and knew how to hold sway over me. The sexual energy was high for this zodiac. But I made the fatal mistake of making a joke slightly at her expense… yeah not a good idea. I have learned that Scorpio women take themselves super seriously. But they are magnetic nontheless.

    As for a Leo woman… hmmm are you a Leo Lionsroar? I do not think I have been with one. Your Taurus guy was doing what he normally would- to check on you to see if you are safe and alright. Obviously his pace is infuriating you and he will not change that until you let him know something is wrong. Give him some blatant hints that he needs to at least match your pace and if he really likes ya or loves ya- he will do your pace for a time***. Just for a time though. He will returned to his tried and true pace so if you can not accept this. My advice is to move on. I do not think the compatibility of Taurus and Leo is particularly outstanding. And yes, Taurus guys can be very insecure although outwardly we show off a peaceful, secure demeanor. Mature Taurus guys know what they want and have less tossing sea waves of emotion on the inside. This Taurus friend of yours may need more time to figure himself out. Like Mia said- don’t blame him for it.

    As for the Aries ladies on this blog- well I do have some experience with your zodiac :). Both good and bad. Ok so I dated my first Aries in High school starting late Sophomore year. Her name was Brenna. And she was/is beautiful…. magically beautiful. And attractive. I think all Zodiac women are attractive, but there is definitely something special about an Aries female. That coupled with her willpower and speed (a fire sign) was both amazing and worrisome to me. She did spend money as fast as she earned it, although she did save for college back then. Later on I definitely found my steady, frugal nature to be different from hers which explains why she spent a ton of money on a wanna be Ivy league school for a teachers… degree. Yeah I have nothing against going with your dream and gut. But I went to college to a public school for political science and biology and I know I got my money’s worth…. anyways just something to think about ladies- Taurus men will like to spend heavy on food, housing, family, friends, and security, but not without some reasoning. Having money is security for us. Anyways back to my first love who happened to be an Aries. Her name was Brenna- she was smart, caring, and man she knew what she wanted and worked hard to get it. Majorly impressed with Aries on this front. They are born leaders. But once senior year ended- so did we :(. I could not get over her for 3 years. Yes 3 years of my college. We are still good friends to this day and always call every month to check up on each other. And on birthdays. The second time I went back up north to visit her… I confessed I still had feelings for her. But she said she had moved on and wanted to just be friends. This hurt like you can not imagine. And took me a long time to heal. But it was for the best.

    Alright I have read your posts Jess and as an Aries can see some of your friction with your Taurus guy. You got it right that is out nature to go for a long period without talking or checking on you. We do think that is normal or natural as you say. We are unaware that is makes girl’s minds go nuts, so seriously we are not being selfish…. that is just how we are. Try to have some patience for your Taurus guy. He will love you more for it.

    I do remember the sexual passion I had for my Aries was some of the most intense I have ever known… hard to compare… the level of intimacy to anything else. Yes I have a great deal of sexual fun with my Libra gf… but it is different… not necessarily in a bad way. When I went back to visit her even after we were done dating… a year later… for a whole week we fooled around. It went like that.

    Do you feel like giving up on him Jess? Or are you going to stick with him? I think my ex-gf Aries decided we could not work over 500 miles distance and different college… and our pace was so different. Then again, I was her rock when things in her life feel apart in high school… because not a week into us dating in our young Naive teens of Sophomore year than did her parents get a divorce. So she clung to me very hard during high school and then she was ready to let go. Sigh…..

    OK moving on- Sagittarians…. I have not been with one to my recollection. They are a very different sign to than a Taurus is. Saggi girl- reading your posts are interesting… it sounds like you are having connection problems and understanding each other. This is somewhat true to your zodiacs unfortunately. Taurus (Earth) with Sagittarian (Fire) equals… lava. Do you find this to be true? Do you have a very rocky and intense relationship with your Taurus guy? I know that these signs can work it out in the long run, but it can be tough, very tough to compromise. Please share your thoughts.

    Virgos in here. Hi. I can say that this sign is very amazing at staying organized and doing things right. All the time, every time. You are perfectionists and lol, this can make Taurus guys go…. why are you going to these lengths for what we perceive to be silly things. My Libra gf has a Virgo mom and man she is very critical about things. Luckily her and I get along great. Since this may be my future mother in Law… I try to be careful, but also be myself. Compatibility wise, even without trying to have a relationship beyond acquatinance or friends, the Virgo and Taurus is a pretty good match. Both earth signs and good with money. Very practical.

    I have researched the Virgo and for you Virgo ladies in here- do not be insulted when your Taurus man wants to take time to be with himself… he just needs time to reconnect with himself. Think things over. Take a break. That does NOT mean he wants to be done with his relationship with you. Quite the contrary.

    And boy you Virgo ladies like to talk hahaha. I know this from my GF’s mom who will talk my ear off… then talk some more. I like to listening to her. But not all day lol. Your Virgo minds are extremely active… maybe on overdrive lol. Either way I imagine if I ever ended up with a Virgo I would feel happy, very happy with my choice. THese are great women!!! And they know how to cook- my god….

    Did I mention that yet? You want to nearly, without pause keep your Taurus man happy- cook excellent food and but your love into it. He will instantly recognize it and can not refuse you then. Awwwww the power of food on a Taurus… and on a man for that matter… rivals sex appeal. I kid you not.

    Gemini, Aquarius, and Pisces women- hmmmm I have not had much experience dating your Zodiacs. But I am curious if I am missing out. Of you course if you are on of them- you would say I am ;). Do know that Gemini are restless, constant thinkers. My father is a Gemini and now I can finally understand the way he is. He definitely is not a boring person and I am sure this applies to female Gemini too. Wow- you guys like to do a lot with your minds and are very versatile! I know for fun my dad likes stimulating minds games… for himself of course. That brings my question to you Gemini Ladies….. do you like high intellectual stimulation with your guys, and specifically Taurus guys? Do we do a good job at providing you with that? Somehow I do not see Taurus guys being good in this role, but I could be wrong…..

    Aquarius- definitely females of this sign I understand the least. We are so different it is not funny. And I know you Aquariuses think the same thing. This is one relationship I need to study more.

    Pisces- I do know you are strong emotional beings that can take a lot of emotional punishment and are highly sensitive. Luckily I think the Taurus guy can offer a lot of emotional feelings if he opens open to you. But Taurus guys are very black and white- like I see only good or evil… we do not see in the “gray” spectrum much. Would like to hear more from you Pisces women on your experiences with a male Taurus.

    My gf’s cousin is a Capricorn and there is something very special about this work minded sign. They are extremely dedicated to their labor. Its impressive. This Capricorn female… while not instantly physically attractive to me (do not generalize this), impresses me with her charisma and devotion to getting things done. Very sweet minded being too. I know she has a small crush on me- she is younger, but I just like talking with her in general and as a Capricorn I sense they respond very well to this type of attention. Could see myself having a very pragmatic relationship with a Capricorn female.

    As for the Cancer sign. Very warm and caring is the words that spring to mind. This sign like no other knows how to make a Taurus guy feel at home. It is said that these two signs together can actually make others jealous because they are so comfortable with each other. I briefly dated a Cancer girl and found this to be true- however I got horribly sick (food poisoning) on our first date and took that as a sign that we could not work things out. I feel bad, because she was a warm caring person.

    And the last two signs I am currently involved with. Ok before you react and go, “WHAT? You are playing two girls?” – the answer is no, not that case. However if I am not careful it could go that direction. This may be where you Libra and Taurus women can help me big time…. because I will need some guidance here. Other signs welcome to.

    SO I have been dating my Libra GF for over a year and a half. Things have not easy- but we definitely love a lot about each other. I mean a lot. We like to go out to eat at nice restaurants (BTW, we aren’t rich, we work hard for our money, but our weakness for spending “too much” money is on food- I am sure you ladies have been there right?) And we love art and music. Physical attraction is very high. Sexual attraction is on great (usually- sometimes she is not in the mood when I am and vice versa!) REALLY FRUSTRATING!!! Hah- like I can not say that enough, its frustrating.

    She often gets tired when I am just starting to get aroused in the evening. So timing is a problem for our signs. And she likes to go out all the time. I like to go out like…. huh lemme count…. to a club or bar… ohhh about once a month. I am such a homebody. It ain’t a laughing matter. She is air so always has to go out. Like all the time. 3-4 times a week… takes a ton of adjustment. Drives me nuts sometimes… but we have compromised some.

    Here is the real problem still though. She is 2 hours away from me at one college while I am at another. She has tons of friends, most of them guys and they all like her a lot. Some of them try to pretend she doesn’t have bf and I have caught them trying to woo her. Taurus men got a REAL GOOD radar for that crap lol. To the point that it borders on paranoia. You know what I am talking about ladies. We are JEALOUS. So it took me a while to accept her guys friends. Some of them I know are legit b/c they acknowledge me. Some of them I could tell the moment I met were more than just interested in my gf…..

    So here goes, my Libra gf unknowlingly went on a date with one guy and I said… yeah that sounds like a date. How could you be so stupid? You are with me. She didn’t believe it…. at first. THen after the second time of him taking her out and not inviting the rest of the friends, she finally saw what I knew well before she did. This guy was scum and not trying to be her friend. So yeah that was a little ugly.

    Then next guy was more shy, but clever enough to send texts to my gf when we had a major fight this past spring over a roommate problem. He sensed weakness and was going in for the kill. I called him out on it and told my gf, without telling him a word…. that this guy isn’t actually trying to be your friend. Well sure enough, she caught on and having no physical attraction- asked him in the most forward way possible (using her friends). And this is a trait I do not find appealing about Libras….

    They like social cohesion so much they do not want to risk telling somebody off. Well my point of view, which is so Taurus, is that if somebody is barking up your tree- you bloody shake them out or cut the tree down… and quick with decisive action. Other signs like Virgo seem to understand this much better.

    So really my Libra relationship has been rocky- but I am gonna try to make it work for as long as possible. I love her family, her class, her ways, she cooks good…. but our communication, sex timing (not chemistry), and stuff is definitely off. And I am afraid when we do our careers… the distance and separation will be the end of us. She is very devoted to work and social life and I let her be. I make an extreme effort to see her every weekend by driving 2 hours one way. We all do that for our love ones and Taurus male is no exception. We do that for our family, friends in time of need- but all the time if called upon for our lovers….

    That is why some of you ladies are surprised we act moody one day and removed… but suddenly if you really need us we show up. As long as you prove you have a great need and loneliness we are always at your beckoning unless something very serious is going on (being overseas, military, or caring for Friend, Family). We will put you before our careers in general.

    Now recently I have become friends with a Taurus female and we instantly find each other attractive. We actually met two years ago and I was with another gf and she with another bf. Definitely sexual attraction, but not like when you meet a someone and go… wow he/she is hot!!! In a more subtle way she is highly attractive to me, like in a natural way. But really I am trying to become her friend. But know if I was single we would start something and be fine starting something even a year from now. Taurus are the rare breed that you can set a date with from the present into many years into the future- and we will follow through. She is in nursing school and so is not looking to date. Nor am I because a) I have a gf who I can find no fault with and want to see where things go and b) if it is meant to be, its meant to be. Seriously that is how a Taurus guy sees his love life with that one special girl. If it is meant to be then it will work out and his senses will be very sharp to detecting anything beyond the occasional fight, more like long term problems.

    Because Taurus think long term. Always. So I have my dilemma…. I think I want to become good friends with this Taurus girl, but she is just as stubborn as I am!!!! GO FIGURE! From what I gather, there is not much difference in a Taurus woman and a Taurus Man when it comes to their pace and stubborness. We are fixed in what we want to do. Therefore it is rare for both sexes of this sign to run into each other and find attraction. Seriously, go look that up. Since it has happened I have put a lot of thought into it. Its one of those wonders of a Taurus guy’s life I am going through right now. We hate change, I think I told you that like 5 pages back ;), and I sense change coming- not just with my career but it could be my relationship.

    So maybe you Taurus women can offer some advice on the communication. I know it is similar to a Taurus guy and that she will respond to my texts when she is ready to… but she has the same attitude where she can go on for days, even a week without even texting me back or writing anything… if you can believe it, I am going through what you go through with the Taurus GUYS! How IRONIC! hahahah But then she will text me saying she is lonely and wants to hang out.

    She has also told me I am probably best breaking up with my gf in the long run… Yes and no I think. I think possibly, if for a time, so we can do our careers without worrying about each other being in dif. states and who we are seeing. Like I made the point about sex. Taurus like to have it, we like to have it with romance. But we like to best have it in a relationship- that is the catch. Every one night stand I have ever been on with a girl… the sex has sucked. I am sure you girls have been there- know that, and its for the same reasons- you do not feel enough connection with the person. I have only been sexual with like 10-12 girls and out of those, only 4 of them were every good…. what a coincidence… those happen to be the same 4 girls I was in serious relationships with. So there you go.

    Ok I will stop typing for now. Very tired and I have been at this for hours. From my long, long winded writing- now I have given you can idea of just how complicated Taurus guys can be and think on the inside. We like simple. But we are anything, but simple. Sorry…. that’s just the way the universe created us. Love it or hate it, but don’t blame us.

    Thanks. Will be happy to answer any questions you might have. Perhaps I can improve your relationships with your Taurus guys…. I really hope so.

  1789. #1789 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 14, 2010 - 3:38 pm

    Ohh and to Diane. Yeah sounds like you had a real rough time with you X Taurus. And I feel sorry for you that it lasted longer than it should have.

    Coming from a Taurus, and knowing that particular insecure type of Taurus ( I was that way in a relationship a while ago- not lazy, but insecure and not appreciating my gf as much as I should have) that what you say can be true. Really sounds like you were dating an older Taurus was stuck in his ways… like with a his thumb up his arse.

    A previous failed relationship has taught me that… I have to be not just the big strong, physical guy I am, but also work at the practical things with my girlfriend. Things that matter. So I think with any sign in any Zodiac, of both sexes there is the difference b/w immature and mature signs that I have seen their errors and try to live better.

    I make no apologies for being stubborn and yes, I lol’d at your cave joke. We don’t like to leave our caves. However we like to get out sometimes and explore things- we aren’t that bad. Really sounds like you dated quite a loser who happened to be a Taurus.

    And like any sign, hell yeah we would love to have a partner pop grapes into our mouths and fan us… but we are more realistic than you give us credit for. I personally take pleasure in giving messages to my gf. I don’t ask her to do anything in return. She cooks and loves doing it. I am happy to cook for both of us. But some women do like to cook and have their guy’s like their food. Taurus guys especially do not mind this. I am very supportive of her and do tons of stuff for her family that they think is going beyond what I should do. Yeah,… why you ask. Just because I care. Taurus men do give a sh*t about people you know. Geeezzzz lol.

    So Diane, not trying to be rude and I believe you had a bad experience, but you sound bitter as hell. There is my classic Taurus bluntness for you. You definitely should go try some other Zodiac signs… see what you like… but trying to smear most Taurus guys based on your experience is a lost cause. And I am sure there are other blogs about other Male Zodiac signs saying what is going on with my , insert here: ________ because he is doing this. Not unique to us and this has been going on since the beginning of time and the Zodiacs themselves, just not on blogs until now.

  1790. #1790 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 14, 2010 - 3:41 pm

    Finally question to you Diane- what is your Zodiac? I think that will shed a lot of light on how you feel. Thanks.

  1791. #1791 by Diane on June 14, 2010 - 6:29 pm

    Taurus Guy (Kyle)

    Well as you said in the end you are not trying to be rude, but you are doing just that. You judged and claimed I sound bitter, then commented that I am trying to smear all Taurus men, and also commented that I donโ€™t give Taurus men enough credit for being realistic however my dear you lost focus on what it was I wrote which was, โ€œThis special breed of Taurus man.โ€ not meaning all Taurus men. I can handle bluntness because I too am extremely direct and to the point, but sheer rudeness is not my forte and my tolerance for it is almost zero. I am also not afraid to put someone in their place when they are rude to me or rude to others. This type of Taurus man that I speak of is an abominable ass and not to be confused with the Abominable Snowman for at least he has a reason to act like a monster. To be perfectly frank with you I donโ€™t care what zodiac sign they were they both lacked moral character as well as strongly lacked in other areas in how a lady should be treated. I was also directed to this blog by someone who asked me to come here; I did not come here of my own accord. One would think that after you reach a certain age your head would not be up your arse, being the word you used. As for them living in their caves anyone sane would have believed they were Grizzly Bears that hibernated 12 months out of the year. How could anyone expect to learn how to expand oneโ€™s mind if they never choose to do anything except stay barricaded indoors and do nothing, but glutton and watch television for months on end? A great example of why they knew so little about life, relationships or communication. You also contradicted yourself which I find is a very common trait of (most) Taurus men I have known because these 2 are not the only Taurus men I know. You started out saying that you were once one of these insecure types that I talk about then you later bashed me several times as I explained above in claiming I was referring to all Taurus men in general. Iโ€™m sure that the beautiful women here appreciate your advice although you do come of as a little smug and arrogant; very predictable of every Taurus man I know. Does it really matter what sign of the zodiac I am all I will allow you to know is that I am very witty, very pretty, have great self respect and respected by others, know what I want, know right from wrong and know what I will and will not tolerate. I do allow much room for mistakes however continuing to make the same mistakes over and over again and never learning is cause for ejection by me sooner rather than later after my heart is already invested. Here is some great advice for you, as for the Taurus girl you have become smitten with you need to stay away from her unless of course you do the right thing and finish up your relationship with your Aries girl or you just might get bitten a little harder than you think.

  1792. #1792 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 14, 2010 - 11:43 pm

    Well this I expected, since a good portion of my response was directed at you Diane. Maybe I did contradict myself slightly, no I do not think you were trying to rate all Taurus guys as bad….. but I found your opinion to lean heavily to negative bias. Not that I can really blame you- you must have had one hell of a bad experience to have already written a response back to me in one day- but still I am happy that you did.

    Let’s get something clear. I am not attacking you. Trying to reach out in fact :). OK?

    Maybe show you that Taurus guys are not to be completely avoided. Do I think this type of guy has ruined ever getting close to your heart again. Yes. But if you are able to get a Taurus as a friend, just a friend. I suggest you take it and learn from that angle.

    Guess it doesn’t matter what sign you are, but you definitely sound like a Fire or possibly Air sign. But heck you could be a Taurus woman in disguise which is why you know types of a Taurus guy so well. That would not be a shocker. Your comment about the Taurus girl kicking my ass is a warning I will heed. Thank you.

    Hmmmmmm about my love interests. I wouldn’t say I have become “smitten” with the Taurus girl, but I do like your colorful language. However, you are correct that I am interested by her. More than any other developing relationship before I have tried to approach her objectively and VERY straightforward. Told her we should just be friends because we really are not yet. She wants more right now and also in a year, sure it would be easy for me to cave in and try something. But I am going to be firm. Ultimately, if she truly is a Taurus, she would never be interested in me if I was lackadaisical about what I wanted from her. She actually smokes and has some bad habits that I want to help her correct because I do care for her and she had a rough childhood.

    And lol, sorry about coming off as smug and arrogant. I really did not mean to. Just sharing my experiences. I tried to be objective in my response. Notice I spent whole paragraphs going over how particular, insecure, and negative the bull can be………. yeah. I do appreciate your very blunt self description, good that you know who you are, but it also comes off as smug with yourself…. you have not criticized yourself at all except for being stupid for getting with a Taurus man. Afraid of showing weakness? Prove me wrong.

    Hmmmmm I have looked forward (that is a thing Taurus do a lot, we just do not always change our ways to match what we see is coming) and know that 20 years from now if I do not become more outgoing and fun I could well turn into this inbomitable snow creature you describe Diane. Maybe on the surface I wouldn’t look that way, but yeah on the inside- if I am so smug with myself that could happen. I am going to try my best to fight that and hopefully have a family and kids who will keep me young and cheerful.

    Because people do say I am exceptional fun to be around when cheerful which is about 50% of the week for me. That other 50% I am doing my own tasks and sticking to myself. ***NOT*** necessarily depressed or angry/sullen- but rather not interested in dealing with others beyond and arm’s length/ handshake.

    Like I said I have been the immature bull before and it ruined my life and hurt a former Libra gf. I am working on not letting mistakes repeat themselves so I do not hurt my wonderful current Libra gf.

    Definitely working on having more friends of the opposite sex of different zodiacs so I can understand others better. Life as a Taurus can be very lonely… and when we invest in one girl we shut nearly all other women out. Not a bad thing you might say. But I would like to have more female friends that may or may not be attractive, yet I am just friends with. Please share your advice anybody.

    Thanks. And thank you Diane for giving me an honest opinion.

  1793. #1793 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 14, 2010 - 11:49 pm

    Ohhh and I was with an Aries girl… back in like 2000-2005. That relationship is long over. Funny you made that mistake and saying I should finish up my relationship with her. Its been long dead, except for friends.

    Hmmmmmm yeah you might definitely be an Aries— Diane, but we’ll see.

  1794. #1794 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 15, 2010 - 12:16 am

    Hi Diane,

    Ok I re-read your blog post again for the 3rd time. Ok, I admit I was being rude for calling you bitter. So excuse me, I will not call you that anymore. What can I call you though? Because clearly you are not…. happy with a Taurus period. Unhappy? But I did not bash you several times. Please check on that.

    When you say sheer rudeness… were you referring to me? Or previous Taurus guys- the insecure type? If you think my post was sheer rudeness…. errrrr you might think anybody trying to talk about you/to you is being rude. Not even going to sugarcoat this one. I am telling you, as politely as I can, you might want to also take a different approach in talking to me. Not like, prejudging me because I am a Taurus. Am I prejudging you? You will not even reveal your sign here, but evidence of it is coming out…..

  1795. #1795 by Diane on June 15, 2010 - 3:10 am

    I apologize for calling your current girl an Aries instead of a Libra. I do not dislike all Taurus men only the two I spoke of here and I donโ€™t really dislike them just canโ€™t abide their lies and stupidity. They did have some good qualities, but their bad outweighed their good and I knew their intent was not honest. The Internet is a lovely tool. I never stated that I donโ€™t like Taurus men in general I actually do like them just not the really insecure dim witted ones that some of these girls on here are talking about. I am not smug just very sure of myself and I do not have to prove myself to anyone, but me. I do have faults just not looking to flaunt them on here for personal reasons not related to me nor relative to the situations I was in with these two Taurus men I spoke about. I also donโ€™t believe I said I was stupid for getting involved with them because I did learn from them both good and bad things. My opinion was negative because I was talking about a specific type of Taurus man not all Taurus men. I feel like a mocking bird having to continually state I am not talking about all Taurus men. I did not think you were personally attacking me you were trying to assassinate my opinion and replace it with yours without staying focused on what I was actually saying. If I had thought that you were personally attacking my character I wouldnโ€™t have been as polite as I tried to be to get my point across. I will state that I find it fascinating in how it is that you strive to be a better person learning from your mistakes and being only 24, very impressive indeed. As for your little Taurus girl that you are trying to be friends with donโ€™t try to change her accept her as she is or leave her alone because she will step all over you and crush you as she is doing so. Did you forget that you are a Taurus and donโ€™t like being told what to do and what not do? An investment in one girl should not cut you off from having other female friends, just depends on what your intentions with these other girls are and what you lead these girls to believe your intentions are. Take your girlfriend to meet these girls show her that your intentions are honest because she is the one that matters and maybe she wonโ€™t be upset if you have friends that are female. If you do it behind her back though and she finds out you are just flirting with danger. Trust is a major component in any relationship especially with me and once you break that trust it will take a long time and a lot of work to get it back even if we are just friends. By the way, I am not a Taurus and stop fishing. Iโ€™m not bitter and Iโ€™m not unhappy or anything close to what you think. I was asked by someone else to post my experience on this blog with these two particular men and then along comes you. lol

  1796. #1796 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 15, 2010 - 7:43 am

    Thanks Diane- Glad we cleared that up lol :). Ok so I have ruled out you being a Taurus and probably one or two other signs. But fair enough I will stop fishing… for now hahaha

    I like your insight and quick responses so thank you for them.

    Ok I totally got you now. Sorry for being slow on the uptake. Taurus guys can be slow to understand sometimes. You are only referring to some Taurus guys. The worst of our kind- perhaps the type that refuses to change throughout their lives. It’s sad. The analogous of this is the Scorpio choosing to be a Scorpion instead of aspiring to be a Phoenix- the best they can be.

    Well good- if you have moved on and are not unhappy than I have less work to do with you :). Do not have to convince you. Taurus guys can be selfish, but we can not live with ourselves very well when we are this way… so we strive to help others if we can. Often we fail I think.

    I am trying to be rational, but one thing everyone including ourselves absolutely knows about us. We are irrational. Maturity helps with this, but still. That is why I think many of you ladies are like wtf- why this behavior. Irrational is the only word I can think of.

    Yes I accept you advice on the Taurus girl. I can not change her- only influence her. Only suggest. She is perhaps the best thing to ever happen to my personality. EVER. Through her I see my reflection and it drives me nuts. She is just as stubborn and suffering right now from a bad break up. I am trying to offer support. We are not good friends yet but we talk to openly it is insane. I research that Taurus can do this even without a past…. it’s true. I talked to her tonight and said please do not push me away. Allow me to be your friend. She is like me in that she wants all or nothing. Or why bother?

    All I can say that friendship is the best I can give her right now and that she could use an actual guy friend. She is very insecure right now. I told her that I have told my gf about her. Will introduce her to my gf when the time is right this summer. Yes I agree with you Diane on the trust. Its too important to ignore.

    Yes and along came me… I think part of what of drove me here to write so much is to try to understand myself. Zodiacs are not everything, but I can not disprove them just as you could attempt to prove God to me. I see a lot of evidence and feel it.

    Sigh I am about to pass out- feeling fatigued because of my feelings. Trying to straighten this out.

    Before I go- which Zodiac sign are you seeing now Diane?

    Thanks.

  1797. #1797 by Tinker on June 15, 2010 - 1:48 pm

    Hi Kyle and welcome!

    It is so refreshing to hear from a Taurus male! you really must think us all mad when you read our experiances and our (let’s face it) turburlant relationships!
    as sane and together as you sound I can’t help but wonder ARE YOU FOR REAL MATE????, cos apart from the attraction to multiple women and your huge sex drive, KYLE you don’t sound much like theTaurus men I know at all!

    You sound quite sure of yourself, your quite articulate and put your arguments and theory’s forward quite well, not to say Taurus men are dumb, but the only two I have to go on are the two I know, one being my late father and the other being some crazy dumb ass that thought it a good idea to pursue me for months on end only to play a game of cat amd mouse for 2 & a half years with me!
    I think it’s great that your trying to better not just yourelf but your relationship too, I know you say that relationships and women are important to Taurus but again I can only refer to the two that I know and this was very much not the case, game players and emotionally challenged idiots springs to mind!

    I have decided not to take this whole sign business too seriously anymore Kyle. I think either men are going to respect, love and care or they are not, regardless of what sign they are, either your gonna get along or you ain’t and that is that!
    I’m starting to really think about how people are brought up and past hurt and pain, as I think this has more to do with how we behave as adults as appose to the sign assigned to us!
    Just a little advice from me to you Kyle, this Taurus friend sounds like she has stirred something inside you, so I would be careful there hun as someone is likely to get hurt here if you don’t check yourself! men in general love the chase so just remember what you have now and really think about whether what you currently have is worth losing! it’s your call! and thanks again for taking the time out to come here and express yourself the way you have.

  1798. #1798 by Diane on June 15, 2010 - 5:48 pm

    Kyle

    What age does a man really have to be before they grow up? I am 30 and the last man I dated was 34 and I was far far more mature than he was. I am not dating anyone work is busy this time of year and Iโ€™m to tired to even go out after work with my girlfriends. I like the bonus money I get at this time of the year to. Entertainment in NY is expensive.

    Why are you so headstrong on being friends with this Taurus girl other than she has affected your personality? You talk about how she wants all or nothing or donโ€™t bother as if she is already in love with you and way beyond just wanting to be your friend now. I think there is more to this story then what you are telling here. Sounds like you got involved with her because your current girlfriend lives so far away then you fell in love with her and she fell in love with you and then you backed off and now just want to be friends with her because of your girlfriend. Something else weird you never mentioned even one time that you love or are in love with your Libra girl. You did mention things about her that you love but never mentioned loving her. You did say in so many words also that your relationship with your Libra girl may be ending so what is the real story?

  1799. #1799 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 15, 2010 - 6:03 pm

    Hello Tinker :),

    Thanks for welcoming me. Yes this is the internet afterall so if I really want to sound a certain way I definitely can. However, what reason do I have to lie about being a Taurus? Not much.

    I can not profit from it and if I get any advice from you nice people- well it would be wasted if I wasn’t actually my sign.

    Now I know what you mean about -“whoa Taurus don’t quite express themselves like that” in a place like this. Yes Taurus men come off as SLOW hahaha I know I have before. That is probably why I am catching you off guard. We still get our heads stuck around stuff. For example- look at my convo with Diane. I really did think she was blasting all Taurus men at first. Taurus guys jump to conclusions based on very initial feeling and impression EVEN through written communication.

    Also I would probably be more of the silent, strong willed type if I wasn’t forced to continue school. Thanks to the support of my family and friends I made to stick with college for 5 years to get degrees. TRUST ME. I resisted the whole schedule and routine as much as I could. Very stubborn indeed. Yet I have graduated and feel really good now. But it was hard work. That may explain why I am more articulate and come up with arguments in a reasonable manner :). Not trying to brag- just explaining.

    Actually I can sound sure of myself and on some subjects I really do think I am right. I think other signs also suffer from this problem ;). But in reality- I am not that sure of myself in a number of subjects. HAahahahaha I can laugh at it, but its so problematic. Taurus guys really really REALLY do not like to show we are weak on something. We like to do things ourselves. For example, I am a hands on sort of guy, like to feel, literally, my way through anything. I have to be in physical contact with something/someone to believe it. That statement about our nature is very true. Just trusting our minds is not second nature.

    You bring up an interesting point about the sign and the differences within. It has to be. First, no way a zodiac completely describes a person. Some would say not at all- really its pseudo science that uses sociology and mythical creatures to add meaning to people…. well my counter argument to that is people are always going to try to be who they would love to mimic. Be it after celebrities or leaders, or even superheros. Humans can not get enough of this! I am a believer that a developed human both represents value and beliefs obtained from the world around them ( I took sociology in college and this helps explain a lot) and that also, underneath this constant character assimilation, we have core values and beliefs. Whoever came up with Zodiacs is a genius in the sense that they are have made an identity system that attempts to describe a broad range of people. It is very easy to look at an animal and add an element (water, fire, air, earth) whose characteristics can be applied to human behavior. My problem of course is locking the birthday range…. how can one be so sure that a person is a Taurus born from April 21 to May 21? Heck I do not know.

    So… for whatever reason- and after spending amounts of “wasteful” time I do not even want to divulge lol, there are characteristics of the bull that best describe me over every other sign. So as long as it makes the most sense to me I will accept it. For me, I was already acting like the bull even before I became aware of Zodiacs (not until my late teens). So I find it interesting and can argue I am not just imitating the Taurus.

    But yeah I agree with your caution Tinker. One should not believe entirely in their zodiac and forget who they are, what they are. That would be truly a foolish thing to do.

    I exaggerated my sex/ libido some in my opening paragraph. I am sure every sign feels super sexual at some point. For a fact, I know I just like sex frequently. Not sure that is because of my sign or just me ;). I went through the description of other signs to show my experience and compatibility. Did not write them to show them as exploits. Each one person that was under the zodiac had a particular meaning to my life.

    I did read the other day that Aries and Taurus have some of the best, intense sex ever but on other subjects see very less eye to eye. I would say in my experience that is true. Best sensual sex in my life, did not even have intercourse, was back with my Aries gf when I was in high school. We saw poorly on other subjects though…… frequently. But we supported each other and I still talk to my ex every month. We really care about each other even after the flames have run out of fuel.

    Thanks for your advice on the Taurus girl. She will have to come around to me. I really find it interesting I can not as you say “play mind games” with her even a little bit. But really I don’t try to play mind games. I am very forward with her- she loves it, and I love just saying how I feel. Ohhhh trust me, I hate having to tip toe around everyone else’s feelings all the time, maybe that has to do with their sign, maybe just the person- whatever the case IF you find someone you can just say whatever is on your mind with and they do not get offended. IT IS AWESOME. So I have that with her. My goal with her is to just help her feel better. Who knows maybe down the road if we are both single than something can come up, but for now I just want to be her friend and that is taking a ton of work. A TON. But do I know this about myself and all Taurus people. We are very slow to truly trust anyone. Once we do and until its broken- wow its a solid trust. Gonna introduce her to my gf to eliminate trust issues and just show that I value her- she is not just some girl I know on the side because I do not view her like that. She is just as lonely as I am and trust me when I say… being either an adult Taurus male or probably female can be LONELY. SO LONELY. But this the side effect of wanting our space. Which we need.

    And Tinker, yes I am most definitely a Taurus even if my writing doesn’t match what you know for communication with a Taurus. I just happen to be well educated and this is my attempt at being open-minded. If I was any other sign… .why would I try to be a Taurus? The most stubborn, poorly understood sign on the Zodiac lol. Why not be an Aries leader or a popular Leo, or an intoxicating Scorpio. Because I know some Scorpios, male and female, and wow they know what they want and play mind games effectively. They are extreme. hahahhaah

    Yes Tinker I agree that the men, regardless of sign, have to respect or love their woman if they want to make the relationship work. I would say compromise is the summary word for this.

    Thanks for your input.

  1800. #1800 by Diane on June 15, 2010 - 8:30 pm

    Tinker

    Hun your response was precious what a hoot you go girl. I think we are twins. I donโ€™t think our mate Kyle is exactly who he is pretending to be. He talks a good game about this Libra girl yet he has this intense fixation on this Taurus girl game player maybe. Canโ€™t figure out if he really is a true Taurus or not. He does seem to come off as a liar and contradicts himself quite often which could be that special breed of Taurus man I was talking about. You know the ones that canโ€™t seem to remember what they tell you from one day to the next always leaving us with our mouth dropping to the floor. Highly educated he says could just be pretending.

    Kyle

    You only have to tip toe around people when you lead them on and have lied because if your objective from the absolute start was just to be friends and never got involved there would be no reason to tip toe around. You could just be yourself. No girl especially a Taurus girl would tell you that she didnโ€™t want to be friends with you if you didnโ€™t lead her on from the very start. She might tell you that if you were a total jerk and she just didnโ€™t like you but to just tell you that for no reason at all is not how girls act. Taurus girls also donโ€™t give their men an ultimatum like all or none when there was no beginning. I am not even real sure you have a Libra girlfriend. Sounds more like you got involved with this Taurus girl and then got cold feet typical of those special breed Taurus men who, how Tinker put it, make us girls think you are emotionally challenged and springs to mind idiot. The more I read over your posts the more I am sure it is what it really is, you got involved with her then you ran. Good luck because Taurus girls donโ€™t like being played no matter how lonely they feel. Wonโ€™t bother to tell you what special surprise she will have in store for you if you get back with her. Ha ha. Have to go finish work is almost over.

  1801. #1801 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 15, 2010 - 9:31 pm

    Hi Diane,

    Ok that’s cool. NY is helluva busy place to be. Lot’s to do. I used to live in CT so I know the lifestyle.

    At what age is a man supposed to be mature. hahahah first I will say men never mature like women would want them to. Probably very few ever fully mature. Hate to say it, but that’s what I see. Guys think with their dicks most of the time, but I do not have to tell you that lol. The good ones think some with their heart, mind, and yes still there dicks. Let me know if you meet a guy who doesn’t think like this…. and if he does somehow, that dude is probably a Klinefelter Female with two X chromosomes and a Y and not normal. Seriously.

    My estimate is that guys should mature at least some by 30, but obviously that has failed for your guys Diane- they didn’t. I say 30 because if they are dating women around their age than the biological clock is ticking. A woman isn’t going to mess with a guy unless she can get a family vibe off him ********IFFFF SHE WANTS KIDS********* If not, than it is probably far easier to date or have fun with any immature guy. I know guys that are up to 50 and still have low maturity. Sure they can function on the surface, but you can tell they have problems underneath this ever so crafted exterior of Mr. Tough Guy. I have had to work with these guys.

    Yes…. there is more to the story than what I am revealing about the Taurus girl. I’ll just say your assumptions are reasonable considering the missing pieces I didn’t fill in. Technically it would make far more sense to try a relationship with the Taurus girl because she lives in my town. My girlfriend is two hours away. I virtually make the most effort to travel to see her. She has to work all the time. But I can not have a relationship with the Taurus girl because she is severely rebounding from her failed Capricorn relationship (the guy went off the deep end and actually was a likeable person, not quite a friend of mine, but I knew him). I sense Taurus girl would like a relationship, but I can not give that to her without good faith and morally, despite what some would say about going with your heart,…. my gf has done nothing wrong to me except for getting to close to guys who are way more interested in either dating, or more likely having sex with her. Twice I have pointed out I caught two of them, but let her deal with them. Who knows she may be getting close to some guy. Until I have some evidence I am not going to say or act on it. Just not worth the detective work and we have already had fights were I have told her…. that her passive aggressive nature was not helping the situation with these guys. She needed to say get away from me unless you want to be friends with me. Which everyone knew wasn’t the case. She is too non confrontational and that bothers me still. She thinks I can be too confrontational sometimes. So this is definitely one of our biggest differences.
    Really I am trying to even the score card with my gf because she has 10:1 the opposite sex friends I do and its not healthy. Not the number, sure I am happy she has 10 guy friends or more, what bothers me is that I do not even have one solid female friend in my town. I am hoping the Taurus girl will change that.

    And ohhh yes I have backed off the Taurus girl because she did come on to me, sexually. But I stopped it before anything took off. You may choose to believe…. no I am just a typical male, a TAURUS ONE AT THAT!, but I could not be aroused by her. Yes, she is beautiful and forward to me. But I could not do anything with her. She was disappointed (she has needs she told me) well I get that. But I told her A) you want this because you have come off a bad break up and haven’t had sex in 3 months, and B) as much as I like you, I am taken with a Libra girl already of over a year and a half, so emtionally I am already invested. So I had to draw the line. I think this both intrigued her and put her off.

    This Taurus girl has suggested I dump my current gf because she is probably doing things I don’t know about. I said there is no proof of that. But I get her motives. Its flattering, but both my heart and mind says no- you would be a tool to cut and run.

    This is not to say the Taurus girl is evil or anything. She isn’t, but like all Taurus, when we want something, by god we try hard to get it. SO I have requested we just be friends and so far that is not good enough for her. She can not comprehend it. Perhaps you ladies will tell me she is dangerous to my situation. I will counter and say no I am the one at the pivotal point. I can either make things dangerous or say here is the line and I want to be friends with you because I think we could both benefit each other as friends. So that is the missing details. I am already lining up things so she can meet my gf in a few weeks when she comes here next and otherwise I do not have much interaction with this Taurus girl, mostly just talk to her- even that is rare… she “dissapears” like the males do. Yep.

  1802. #1802 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 15, 2010 - 9:59 pm

    Hahaha that is funny Diane. That really is. But it is starting to sound like you are attacking my character. Fine.

    But what do I have to gain by concocting a Libra girl fantasy? Really nothing. SHe is real and is my girlfriend. You can believe or you do not have to. Whatever.

    You can be skeptical that I am not educated. But does having a B.S. Degree in Political Science and a Minor in Biology not count for anything these days? Last I checked- that was the definition of academic education. Hmmmmmm

    Well I guess I am glad you ladies find this interesting, but I am trying to gain advice and share real experience. Not trying to contradict myself. Sorry if you think that.

    I have a Libra girlfriend- age 23, who I am very attached to. She is in love with me. I think I am in love with her because if I wasn’t, I would just cut and run for this Taurus girl. Seriously. Why not?

    How is trying to be friends with a Taurus girl make me one of those special Taurus guys who try something and then run away? Hello- I am trying to be friends with her. What is wrong with having a female friend? If she makes clear to me that she doesn’t want to be friends, which she hasn’t yet, then guess what- I am SOL.

  1803. #1803 by Diane on June 15, 2010 - 11:31 pm

    I want to ask why are you are specifically picking at me because I answer you? You are hostile. Even the score card, as you call it, sounds pretty vindictive are you out to win or lose? I guess you will probably lose against any women with any brains or quality. Who cares how many male friends she has except you because you are jealous! You want to even the score by having just as many women friends ok you are 24 and so stupid. Win or lose ask yourself what really makes you happy. If I ever figured out you wanted to even the score with me guess what I would play a game with you that you could never win. You say you are happy but you really arenโ€™t or else you wouldnโ€™t want to even the score card as you call it but would want to go after what made you and her happy. That is so childish and nasty. Here is some real good solid advice donโ€™t care what your Libra girl is doing and donโ€™t conjure up in your mind what she is doing just go get what you want and make the foundation solid. Who the hell really cares what sign of the zodiac you are! If you want her go show her you want her and who really cares that she lives 2 hours from you and leave the Taurus girl the hell alone. Sometime men are just so stupid because all they care about are their dicks in the moment and what pleases them in the moment never looking in the long run. Donโ€™t write some long piece of shit answer to me just go after what it is that you want and donโ€™t play some stupid immature game of trying to even the score because you will lose. I can tell you are still immature to the max donโ€™t care what your age is. I just have to say this God men are just so stupid. You are such a mess.

  1804. #1804 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 16, 2010 - 12:38 am

    Thanks for making me feel stupid for writing anything here.

    Yeah and you are such a success story yourself. I find it interesting you will not speak of much else about your life, but are happy to just blast me. Good job.

    I can take some criticism, but you do not even know me and are totally going overboard. “You are such a mess.” I have some things to figure out, maybe I am not the most happy with my life, but at least I am working to improve it, regardless of zodiac.

    I think I am happier than you are. And there is no “score card”. I just want to have female friends. Who doesn’t.

    And my responses are not pieces of shit as you put it. I am sharing my thoughts, simple as that.

    Geeeezzzzzzz Take a chill pill.

    Hopefully some other people here will share some advice, because you are taking this way too seriously. I thought it would be fun to come on here just to learn more about my zodiac.

    Do you have problems with men on any level?

  1805. #1805 by SadgeGal on June 16, 2010 - 2:03 am

    I read all these comments and make posts myself every now and then. Was talking to a Taurus for a while and then we quit talking for a couple of months and just recently started talking (not really expecting anything though).

    Anyway, I’ve been reading the bickering between Kyle and Diane. I mean no offense to anyone, but I don’t see any reason for this. I think Kyle was just trying to offer some insights into the Taurean male personality(ies) and asking for some advice as well but he may have crossed the line when he made some not so nice comments about Diane. I see that he’s apologized for it though.
    *Diane, you’ve apologized to Kyle already and I was glad to see you two had ‘made up’, only to find that you had gone back to the insults. There’s no need to make accusations about his situation with this Taurus gal friend of his as that is his business. Whatever step he takes will have consequences and I see that he’s already relayed that he doesn’t plan to step outside his relationship so let’s hope he keeps his word.

    I’m not trying to add fuel to what’s happening here but it would be nice not to see any arguments ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    *I do believe you are educated Kyle and more so-than the average person your age. That was the first thing I noticed while reading your posts, that you write really well and use very good grammar over 97% of the time. As for your Taurus female friend, like I wrote earlier I’ll just hope you do the right thing :-). I understand the long distance dilemma you have with your Libra girlfriend because my Taurus guy and I were in a long distance situation as well (different States). I’m still learning about this Taurus man and it’s been fun reading all the different experiences different women have had, dealing with Taurean men . The whole situation with my guy is complicated but I believe it has to do with bad timing.

    Anyway, let’s all try to get along, eh? I mean no offense to anyone ๐Ÿ™‚

  1806. #1806 by Diane on June 16, 2010 - 2:20 am

    Kyle

    Kyle You wrote:
    Thanks for making me feel stupid for writing anything here. Yeah and you are such a success story yourself. I find it interesting you will not speak of much else about your life.

    Kyle If you feel stupid you chose to feel that way stop blaming someone else for the way you choose to feel. I did not come here to elaborate about my life. You need to go back and read Mr. Educated.

    Kyle You wrote:
    I can take some criticism, but you do not even know me

    Well Kyle you donโ€™t know me either.

    You came to a website for women where we air our junk and you gave your opinion which as you see wasnโ€™t met with good will. What did you expect, a woman will eat you alive and you wonโ€™t even know what is happening until we swallow you.

    See what I mean about them ladies they are just so stupid gobble gobble swallow swallow HELP HELP what happened. They canโ€™t ever be happy with what they have when they have something good. Oh and so sad he is starting out at 24 canโ€™t imagine how lost he is going to be at 34. They arenโ€™t all like that I have 3 Taurus male friends that are nothing like what I spoke about.

  1807. #1807 by Diane on June 16, 2010 - 3:14 am

    Sadge Gal

    Alright Sadge Gal no offense either but you are still a pup in the stages of development โ€“ like I said no offense. Would you like to go out with Kyle I am sure being that you are a girl and he wants to even the score with his girlfriend given how many male friends she has he will add you to his score card. Like I said no offense but I can tell you have this no confrontational air about you which is nice but will get you no where but used. You need to stand up for yourself and believe in who you are confrontation or not. Just decided to stay here now trying to get you beautiful ladies to stop being door mats but I will eventually leave.

  1808. #1808 by SadgeGal on June 16, 2010 - 4:05 am

    @ Diane:

    Nope, sorry… I’m not a ‘pup in the early stages of development’ like you may think. I’m starting to notice a pattern with you…. you seem to have a habit of using insults towards people for no reason at all.

    Never once did I imply in my post that I’m interested in going out with Kyle, so I’m not sure where you got that from :-/
    You’re right, I don’t like confrontations but I’ll have them IF necessary. I’m not the kind of person who’s a doormat and I stand up for myself just fine… I’m fire after all. I just find it funny how you jumped to baseless assumptions about me, just because I tried to keep the peace on here. Very funny…. ๐Ÿ˜€

    FYI: I’m not one to blame a man’s shortcomings on his horoscope sign and If I find that I’m not happy in a relationship, I usually end it since there’s no point in continuing with the perpetual state of unhappiness.

  1809. #1809 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 16, 2010 - 4:36 am

    Thanks SadgeGal for your support. Yeah I did say Diane was bitter in the beginning and then apologized for it. But now I think she just comes on here to vent. I am more about sharing information and getting advice.

    Don’t worry Diane, I will do just fine, keep my gf and maybe have a family with her. I am leaving the Taurus girl alone unless she wants to be friends with me- that is the one piece of advice I will follow from you. The rest… well I just think you like to criticize- makes you feel good. Maybe go do something better with your time?

    The fact you are too sensitive to reveal anything about you says a lot. And you blame a zodiac sign, which happens to be Taurus, for your bad experiences with some guys in your life… uhhh wow. Grow up.

    And guess what, I do not think this blog is exclusively female so get off your high horse. I have taken a feminism literature class in college- was 2 out of 50 females. But not once was I treated like I was unwelcome because of my sex. But you try to do this on a blog? Get real. This blog was written by a male in case you have forgotten.

    I may be younger than you, but I can tell you view the world through very narrow lens indeed. How about stop wasting time on this blog if you are so frustrated and go actually do something to help women “stop being door mats”. Trying to fight me is pointless and by the way, women and men are free to think how the want on this blog- if SadgeGal has an opinion that you do not like, well that just tough.

    What is your objective here exactly? Wait for a guy to post and then rescue the women on this blog? Really? LOL.

    I know my objective,; which is to just share my thoughts on the Taurus zodiac which I happen to be and to seek advice because I would like to be happy with my relationship. Get advice from some decent bloggers, not some insecure person who feels the need to bash me. Truly- you do not even know me- yet in 2 DAYS you have tried to convince everyone I am a mess.

    What did I do to deserve this?

    This paragraph says it all:

    Daine says

    “See what I mean about them ladies they are just so stupid gobble gobble swallow swallow HELP HELP what happened. They canโ€™t ever be happy with what they have when they have something good. Oh and so sad he is starting out at 24 canโ€™t imagine how lost he is going to be at 34. They arenโ€™t all like that I have 3 Taurus male friends that are nothing like what I spoke about.” — you have three Taurus male friends?

    I will pray for them. I will pray for their souls they are not ridiculed by your insecurity and bashing.

    If you are this hostile on a blog… I could only imagine you in person. Probably a nightmare. Ohhh guess what, I am not tip toeing around you anymore. Calling you what you are.

    We are just so stupid? gobble gobble swallow swallow HELP HELP? LOL Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh nobody has any idea what you are referring to. But thanks for making us laugh. Its really cute.

    Insulting my education will not help your cause either. Whatever cause that may be.

    You think because you are some decades older that makes you better? More understanding? If anything, you are coming off as vain, ignorant, and have this weird prejudice- I can sense it even from your words.

    There you go again with this scorecard. Nobody gets what you are saying. I said I would like to have more female friends because it would help improve my relationship with my girlfriend because when she is busy with her life, I can hang out with friends of the opposite sex and not be at home worrying what she is doing with her guy friends. Its to make things easier for a long distance relationship.

    You are now taking what I said and trying to, I am going to use one your fancy words now- “assassinate” my opinion and insert it with yours. It is not working.

    Ok after trying to make peace with you, which Tinker and SadgeGal recognized we all thought we could move on and start talking about the Zodiac and being encouraging, share advice. But NOOOOOOO……

    You had to go and start things again. Shows a great deal of maturity from you.

    Get a life and stop calling everyone ” pups”. We are old enough to see what you are up to. And here you are giving me a lecture on mind games? HaH! How about you stop playing yours. That’s a radical idea.

    Thanks for wasting everyone’s time. Done trying to talk with you.

    Moving on!

    For the record, everyone else, I am going to stick with my Libra gf and let the Taurus girl be. I like her family and she makes me happy most of the time. She tells me she is happy with me and wants to stay together. So if anyone else, besides Diane, has advice on how to better my relationship with a Libra woman please let me know :).

    Would like to know how to convince a Libra gf to sometimes not go out so much and enjoy staying at home or for an evening at a quieter place? Like a coffee shop or some other nice, low key scene? She really likes to dance and so do I sometimes, but not always at the club. The club scene is not really my scene.

    Thanks for any advice. Night

  1810. #1810 by SadgeGal on June 16, 2010 - 4:56 am

    You’re welcome Kyle.

    I always forget this, but I have Librans around me. My mum was a Libra, my granny is and so is my brother and also one guy I dated. I didn’t get along with my mum all the time and I can’t tell you I get along with my granny all the time either LOL. She’s quite a character.

    Anyway, I don’t know too much about Librans, but just comparing what I knew about my mother and granny, they both wanted someone around (in a relationship) all the time. If there’s a way you could close the distance between you and your gf I think that will do some good. Is she away at school (only) or working and going to school in her city? They say long distance relationships don’t work out in the long run but I, being the eternal optimist, think that nothing (not even distance) can keep two people who truly love each other from being together.

    How do YOU feel about the distance, Kyle? I read somewhere (and I’m sure this does NOT apply to all) that Taurus men are sensual and like to have their partners close so they could smell, feel, touch, taste etc…. all having to do with the senses. What do you think about this?

    Good night ๐Ÿ™‚

  1811. #1811 by Diane on June 16, 2010 - 4:59 am

    Kyle says

    Yesโ€ฆ. there is more to the story than what I am revealing about the Taurus girl. Iโ€™ll just say your assumptions are reasonable considering the missing pieces I didnโ€™t fill in. Technically it would make far more sense to try a relationship with the Taurus girl because she lives in my town. My girlfriend is two hours away.

    Insecure Kyle says

    Really I am trying to even the score card with my gf because she has 10:1 the opposite sex friends I do and its not healthy. Not the number, sure I am happy she has 10 guy friends or more, what bothers me is that I do not even have one solid female friend in my town. I am hoping the Taurus girl will change that.

    I donโ€™t care what these ladies on here believe it is their choice. You are an arse to the max. If these ladies just read what you posted and they are smart they will get the jist of it all. Go on some male website and post your garbage. Like I said a woman will swallow you and you will be saying WTF just like the ladies on this website have been saying about men like you.

  1812. #1812 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 16, 2010 - 5:13 am

    Quit acting like you know everything Diane. You are utterly a bitch to the max. RIGHT BACK AT YOU.

    Any woman reading this blog with common sense will see you are definitely trying to further your agenda.

    Pathetic I just posted that like 10 minutes ago and here you are already raging against me. These hours are pretty normal for me- 1 to 3 pm in the morning for a former college student. But seriously- I do not know of any “woman” who stays up past 1 on a week night to attack people on a blog.

    Go find some happiness of your own and stop trying to ruin this blog and make others miserable because we do not think like you do.

  1813. #1813 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 16, 2010 - 6:52 am

    Alright- wow. Just gonna focus on people who are not attacking me. So this is a response to you SadgeGal :).

    So you do have some experience with some Libras? That is awesome! Will definitely help me out.

    Would you say that your mother and grandma were all over the place? What I mean is where they constantly going to and do social events? Very in the know. The up and up. Because that is a key characteristic of my gf. She loves going to see her friends and gets restless if she can not. Even to the point that she gets irritable in her own cute way lol.

    Yeah I will agree with you that Libras can not live without company. Like they will starve without it. I, on the other hand, will feel shackled and oppressed if I can not find solidarity. So we try to understand each other and on some nights do not even talk. Then the next night we will talk over the phone or facebook. This sort of compromise seems to be effective…. just enough to keep me feeling in my own space, but also just enough to keep her feeling connected.

    And when I am not around, my gf – Mal, has her very close guy friend who is a bit older and mature in the sense that he knows the perfect distant that is respectful to me. He frequently tries to hang out with me when I am in town and I am very thankful for this. It took months to reach this point, but once my gf and I did- my jealousy has all but been contained. She often hangs out with this guy and I feel comfortable. She does have some lady friends, but tends to have more guy friends- preference thing.

    Pretty soon I will have to move to another part of NC, but either way, I would like to make one solid girl—friend that I can hang out with. I do have guy friends, not a large group. And a few of them are homosexual which is just fine by me. No I do not need to have as many my gf and probably will not.

    Yeah I can see that my long distance relationship may not last with my Libra. Not because we do not love and care for each other. More because of our career choices. She will go to grad school in another state I think and I will join a branch of the military. That’s years of separation that is more challenging than what we have now where she is working on her college campus that I have good reason to visit because it is also where my brother and sister stay at.

    But we are already talking about this upcoming change and are working to approach it smartly.

    1)Best case scenario: we stay together and work in or near the same state.

    2)Ideal case scenario: we split up, but remain close friends and come back together after 4-6 years. Probably overly optimistic here, but its not impossible

    3)Worst case scenario: we split up badly and move on. Friendship is not possible. That is exactly what happened with my other Libra gf from 2 and half years ago. She and I were considerably less mature, too much into sex, and didn’t work hard enough to understand each other= disaster.

    I will tell you, SadgeGal, that what you read is generally true of Taurus guys about how close we like our partners. We like them pretty close geographically lol. Probably more than other signs would like. But we are not ignorant and know that to be realistic- there will be some distance until marriage. We still like our space- don’t get me wrong. But ideally, we like to have our gf or lover in the same town. Easily accessible by car.

    Personally I like having my gf very close…. but still a drive a way. The former Libra gf lived in my apt complex and was over way too much. She did not understand my concept of space- we fought endlessly on this.

    What is the cause for this…. preference you ask? Well I think you are on the money with the senses :). Yes, we love being able to touch, taste, smell, listen, and to see our lover! Nothing else compares. I would trade work, money, food, whatever to do this for a long time. Its the best to us- almost like a drug.

    I must point out that with my Aries gf in high school I could only see her one day a week. She was THAT busy. But I settled for it. Because when we got together and waited for hours for her parents to go to sleep, we would get downright intimate. It was amazing…. tons of foreplay, tons, we didn’t even need intercourse. She wanted to wait for later in life- a wise decision. But it didn’t matter, we knew how to sensually please each other and it so far is the most sensual I have ever felt in my life with a woman.

    So yeah- if a Taurus can just hold, message, or use other senses with his/her lover than you have quite a happy Taurus on your hands :). hahaha Sex or not. But of course we prefer it leads to sex and often it does.

    Are we domineering…. yes to a degree in bed. But we are more about figuring out how to make our mate more aroused. That takes some practice. Some careful study and observing. Once we get that down though, we rely strictly on instinct to have sensual fun. My gf says she has to shut her mind to have sex. For Taurus, we check our minds at the door and let total instinct take over. We have no problem forgetting our thoughts and letting passion take over. This all assumes we are healthy and really into the person.

    Some where on Zodiac blogs I have read that some Taurus guys were lazy in bed. Maybe it was the slow pace they went at. Not sure. But if a Taurus guy is not trying to do much of anything and let you do all the work… something is really wrong. We like to be in charge- take initiative. My Libra certainly tells me so and that works for her. Sadly- that Taurus may not be that into you if he acts lazy because in the bedroom- a Taurus knows this territory too well not to be running at a 100 and 10%.

    What are your experiences? Have you been with a Taurus guy?

    Thanks for asking questions and giving input.

  1814. #1814 by Diane on June 16, 2010 - 7:31 am

    Kyle I donโ€™t even live in the states. Like I said you donโ€™t know me.

  1815. #1815 by capricorn lady on June 16, 2010 - 8:13 am

    Hello Kyle …

    Thank you so much for sharing the way you are ..

    You sound just like my friend (also taurus)..

    Especialy the way you talked about the knowing how the ohter feels without sharing one word ..

    That is just what i know about my taurus friend, i know he loves me deep and does think of me all the time ..
    But i,m am giving him some space right now he has become a little scared of his feelings for me because he came out of a bad relation ship twice and is scared of losing someone again ..

    That is just what i feel from him without even a word about anything ,so i just let him be and come to me when the time is right for him ..

    Let me clear on the fact that we are lovers and not in a relation ship official yet (although i do feel there is so much more between us than it lookes like )

    I love him intensly let me tell you that ..
    My feelings for him are so deep that i can feel him and i just know i have to give him his space to clear his mind and hopefully he can get things in to place as time passes by meanwhile i,m there for him to talk when he calles me ore just come over when he feels like it (appart from that i do have my own life with 2 sweet kids )

    He is 37 and i,m 36 .. He knows i,m serieus about relationships in his hart but he has i very big backpack that he has to solve for himself ..As much as i want to, i know i can,t help him with that because he is a real man and will not let me see his tears ore worries unless we where married (i gues) And yet even then i think he will solve most of his problems in his own way on his own time …

    So all i can do is give him that space witch i am right at this moment ..
    Maybe it has to do with the fact that i,m a capicorn that i just know what he needs (both earth )

    Anyway thanks for sharing dear Kyle it makes me more secure about my feelings for my taurus guy and it tells me my instinct is on the right track ..

    My aunt and uncle are both taurus so if you need to ask anything i might be able to help you out i know a little about how they are together ..

    So if you feel like emailing me you,re welcome ..

    Syjjie@msn.com

    Sorry for my type faults here and there i,m dutch so it,s not my home language ..

    tkake care

    Sylvia

  1816. #1816 by Tinker on June 16, 2010 - 10:29 am

    I go to bed and wake up to find world war 3!!!!!! lol lol lol

    Diane, girl you know I have enough respect for you and I don’t even know you! I can tell by the things you say that you have been proper hurt my these bulls just like me and just refuse to take any more shit from any of them and I have to honour that cos I know first hand what these narcissistic bulls are capable of! right now I can’t even stand the idiot I was trying to be friends with cos he understands nothing, he cares about no one and i’m strating to think along the lines of physical violence if and when we meet again (which I doubt will be any time soon after the text I sent him yesterday and the text I got this morning!) lol lol lol

    Gonna play this idiot at his own game from now own, i ‘m talking no contact physical or verbal, if it’s space he needs he won’t know what to do with the amount of space i’m about to give him, if I do get the devil in me for a second and actually answer his sorry ass then it will be……..you guessed it, ONE WORD REPLIES! cos girls you know that’s what their all about! i’m just that sick of his shit now two and a half years on on there has been no change to this mans character, and we are not talking about a young man here, we are talking about a man of 45. geez he’s nearly 50!!!!OMG what the hec am I DOING HERE!!!!!!

    (sorry little freak out there!!!!!!!) lol lol lol

    Capricorn Lady!
    Hun best of luck with your Taurus guy and I mean that! My ex bull was just out of a relationship when I first met him and I heard all that good stuff about not wanting to hurt me and needing time and space, and getting hurt, and you like me feel him enough to sit back and wait for him to come to you, the only problem I have with that hun is when YOU NEED HIM, for whatever reason is he gonna be there for you or will he get so content with coming to you when HE is ready that your wanting becomes insignificant? because i feel that is exactly what has happened to me and what happens hun the moment we put a man’s needs before our own.
    The instant you tell him that You want him for whatever reason he will kindly but firmly remind you that “he told you from the off that he was not ready for a full on relationship and were you not listening to him”, so again please be careful about allowing anyman to come to you when He is ready cos you have a heart and soul too and you need to be taken care of and treating like the beautiful woman you sound like! (you have two children and after they have been tucked in for the night don’t you just want a glass of wine, soft music and a great big cuddle from the arms of your big bull? i know I do) don’t sell yourself short hun.

    Kyle darlin Kyle!
    I bet even you would tell me to RUN FOREST RUN lol lol lol and your a man!
    What can I tell ya hun, this guy is just more trouble then he’s worth now, if he was your age I would be totally understanding right now but come on!
    Glad you were honest about you and Taurus, I know you guy’s take a while to get shit out of so well done you, I think you know which way is up lad and a big part or me thinks you will instinctively do the right thing for you in true Taurus style! just stay true to who and what you are hun!
    have to say I was in a relationship with a Librian for 15 years hun, we have a daughter together and this sign is very FLIRTATIOUS and they pretend to be NAIVE about certain things but this is a very clued up people, so don’t be fooled by the uncertain frowns that they display or the “i don’t know what you mean” comments cos it’s not true hun they know what their doing and lucky for us we get it eventually! (unlucky for them)!

  1817. #1817 by capricorn lady on June 16, 2010 - 12:03 pm

    Hello Tinker ….

    Thanks for your reaction and yes i know what you mean .

    But what i also know is that my innervoice is right (it has been so many times )

    I,m a very strong person and getting stonger by time but i also feel so much love towards him and i do have to say in the beginning i was putting his needs before mine but i did stop that ..

    I do things i like to do and i,m busy with my own life but not open to a nother man cause i don,t have the need for some one else i am happy with me …..

    And that is something very little people understand i have very little friends (because i like things real and pure )
    I,m also a loner i like to be with myself and i can only share that with some one who understands (just be, without millions of questions)

    Ofcourse i like to share and talk and have fun but not all the time …

    And to be honest good things are worth wating for if you think positif (wich means not just thinking but realy feeling the emotion ) Good things will come to you …

    Don,t get me wrong i also get bad moods (hey i,m still human hahaha)…
    Mostly thats when i get my piriod ore when people won,t just let me be …
    Don,t know why but i seem to have this thing that attracts people with trowing all their problems in my face and just won,t want to leave when they are in my house ..

    But i have put a stop to that a little while ago because i was losing myself (my private space)…

    So i have grown in time knowing i need my space to but when real love comes i feel it very intense and will give it time to grow slowly but firmly ..

    So yes i know where he comes from because i can relate to it ..

    And so i let him be .

    Hope you understand i little more ..

    take care

    Sylvia

  1818. #1818 by Tinker on June 16, 2010 - 12:29 pm

    Sylvia!

    I hear you hun and at the end of the day we can come here and spout all kinds of nonsense and give all the advice we have to give but at the end of the day they are YOUR feelings and he is YOUR man friend/lover so you must know what your doing!

    You sound just lke me in the sense of needing space in your life and in your home! I too was one of these people always willing to give a listening ear and always welcoming people into my home, but like you I began to lose myself and the things that were important like TIME OUT, i’m getting older now and seem to crave my time alone a lot more then I used to!

    We can’t always chose who we fall in love with hun and I know this to be true cos i really had no immediate intentions of falling for this idiot but alas, I also know too well how deep and intense our feelings can run so I feel you on that score 100%, but I can’t help but be a little concerned expecially when I hear the dredded words “LET HIM COME TO ME” cos in any relationship friendship or other there needs to be a coming together of mind body and soul for these things to really work! here is hoping he gets himself together and can give you the mature adult relationship that you want from him. being lovers is one thing but there is nothing like having a man to go home to hun.

    I wish you nothing but happiness, contentment and peace of mind my luv and you just keep listening to that still small voice you got there inside you! ๐Ÿ™‚

  1819. #1819 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 16, 2010 - 2:11 pm

    @ Tinker, Sylvia Wow nice replies!!! ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

    Now we can get somewhere. And I like the fact there Europeans here, maybe even people from other places participating too. Gives more credibility to the zodiac having influence on many people of many walks of life.

    And yes, everyone’s grammar has been quite impressive regardless of citizenship/nationality. Wish I knew some Dutch- my Libra gf is a quarter Dutch, a quarter Indonesian, and half Irish- Scotch. Quite possibly THE most exotic mix on the planet. She gets guys all the time wondering where she is from, what she is.

    I just laugh. These are just physical nuances and I focus on the person inside- but let’s be honest- we tend to focus a lot on physical attraction during first impressions. Can not pretend this rule of human nature away.

    So my gf has these big Libra eyes that are full of life and are big and round. Everyone is captivated by them. And yes I get what you mean about the Libras Tinker!!!

    They DO pretend to be naive about going out, talking to people, and running into problems. In one sense i like their approach to life because it let’s them keep exploring- but sometimes…..

    like with guys hitting on her and pretending to be her friend she acts like- oohhhh no big deal…

    Hahahah I am like “That is a BIG DEAL!” You need to draw the line I say. In the same sentence she will say she comes home to me and that is what counts. Well I do agree that coming home to me shows a lot- but at the same time, my patience runs thin for her “naive” interludes with dangerous males.

    Not physically dangerous males- just ones that would love to undo what my Libra and I have. Every guy of every sign sees what a powerful social butterfly she is and can not get enough. Her greatest strength, but also her greatest weakness.

    So you dated a Libra for 15 years Tinker!!! Wow. How rocky would you say those years were? Will you agree with me that their flirtatious nature sometimes is too much to accept? Often I feel this way….. sigh. My gf only sees this as her being social, never what I see, she just finds it “cute” that I try to own her.

    And yes, Taurus like to “have” their woman if they can, both sexes of Taurus. However we only think this way to protect what we cherish. Trust me, if we over do it, we always get a nice kick in the bull ass hahahha. And then we retreat and go into our own worlds.

    So Tinker are you an earth sign? That or you are Fire because sounds like you got some strong will in you :). Yeah if he is 50 then he has not successfully matured to be playing these types of Taurus games. Most Taurus guys have gone into lock down mode with their lover or are, in this guy’s case, possibly stuck forever believing they are right or that they need endless freedom. Because of his pride and wish to be roaming, not serious, etc. he may lose you it sounds like….

    And for a Taurus the mere thought of completely losing someone, never more so than a lover, is unacceptable!!! So yes I think you should play him at his own game. My Libra gf has even used this tactic once on me and I went nuts! LOL.

    She ignored me for a week- Taurus are experts at ignoring people unless we want to give you the horns- otherwise days on end we can pretend we are in a bliss world of our own- meanwhile you have pulled out all your hair, cried your tears. But when some other sign is able to do this to us…. we freak out some. If this guy is a Taurus he will become nervous if you play him at his own game…. because in a Taurus mind he will think you are leaving him and if he loves you HE WILL NOT ALLOW THAT. Just like a bull running across the pasture to defend their cafe- he will come around. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I may be younger than you Tinker, a good 2 decades in fact, but I can tell you this: at my age love games are already starting to lose their charm. Yeah they can be entertaining and make you feel all the emotion you want… but at the end of the day any serious sign wants to just have their lover and their peace of mind.

    Therefore- at your age I can only imagine how the “love games” have worn off. You may feel soul mate connection with this bull, but if he is not done doing the roller coaster ride…. leave him. Seriously sounds like some women have ripped out his heart though. Damn- I feel sorry for him and for you as a consequence.

    I would not suggest totally running away from him- but get far enough away where he has to make an effort to know you. It will teach him that people are not always going to be there, especially if you do not appreciate them.

    That is why, with my Aries ex, I MAKE HUGE STRIDES to keep in touch with her over long distance. It took 4 years for us even to mention our new significant others in the same sentence because I forbid it once we ended to protect my heart. But in the past year we share all details and it is liberating. Even a stubborn bull like myself KNOWS THIS. I just want her to be happy. If I do not keep in touch with her…. I have wasted my life and a bit of hers. No Taurus wants to wake up in the morning and think that about him/herself. We HATE waste of any kind!

    Hope your Taurus bull can come around Tinker- but it will take a bit of patience, luck, action, and wits. Also- Taurus actually respond moderately well to a logical argument b/c at the end of the day we are practical no matter what our feelings are saying. Not enough life for anything else.

    @ Sylvia- I totally get what you mean about feeling alone and wanting it. And wanting someone you love to just understand it. Maybe this is an earth trait?

    Air, Fire, and Water signs seem to need less of this I have noted. They fear being alone. Earth signs can thrive off being alone sometimes. Big distinction here. Your understanding of this is amazing. Very impressive. Thank you for sharing.

    Hopefully you and your Taurus will work out. ๐Ÿ™‚ Patience is key and no other remedy works better on an Earth sign than time. Time…. yes- I can not say anything truer here. I think you are a good match. Taurus and Capricorn know how to, in general, rub each other the right way.

    Right now I am talking to my gf’s cousin casually over Fb and she is a Capricorn. We just talk as friends of course and have only met once at my gf’s family gathering. But I can tell she has a crush on me and its cute. I intend to just give her guy friend attention. Of course not leading her on or anything like that. But she always seems very happy to connect with me even over facebook. I encourage her a lot because she posts pictures of her modeling dress designs and I give my opinions. She is just a little younger than me and works incredibly hard at designing fashion clothes. Her work ethic is unshakable I can tell….

    How would you describe your work ethic Capricorn lady?

    Alright so last night the Taurus girl called me. Out of the blue. It was nice- she just wanted to talk. I was very happy to. But then she had a guy friend come over because he was having problems and needed to discuss them. I didn’t even need to be told twice to be patient for another time. Taurus completely understand if somebody needs to get things off their chests and confide in us. In fact, it flatters us that all signs come to us to ask for advice and to share their deepest problems. We have the right tools for this. TRUST ME.

    But yes, now in reflection… I think I will be most happiest with an Earth or Fire sign. Nothing against the Air and Water signs, and wow boy Scorpio is quite a temptation to be around…. but these first two signs just sing my tunes that work very well for me.

    Yes I love my Libra gf and will continue to support her. But I do fear her going to Grad school will hurt more than help us. This is because she will be getting involved hardcore not just into her studies, but also a class of students that become even closer bonded. I am going to be the odd one out on this. Not to worry because I am doing my career and will need to focus attention on that. If we can both understand each other past these final hurtles then we can be together…… if not than friends is the best I can hope for.

    But believe me when I say, I am starting to shield my heart for the fact that it will go dormant for a while within the next few years. Only way to make it through I see.

    Thanks ladies again for the kind responses. Despite the WW 3- this blog has become addictive and fun to participate in. Cheers.

  1820. #1820 by Tinker on June 16, 2010 - 3:57 pm

    Kyle darlin Kyle!

    Sorry for mis leading you to think im a woman!!!!!!!

    Just kidding hun, sorry for misleading you to think I was old, NO BABE! my EX MAN is old 45 i’m a humble 33 thank you just dig old folk i guess, and my sign is PISCES!!!!!
    Yes I’m aware that I don’t sound like one but trust me ain’t gonna lie about that and am actually very proud to be a fISH!!!!!
    However my temperament is very harsh, this comes from being raised by a TAURUS who took no shit from no one and had the true BULL temper, trust me, so I have learnt from the best as they say. I can be as loving, kind and damn right dreamy as the rest of my piers, just dont piss me off and we will be fine cos i hold no prisoners when I flip out! just ask my BULL!!! lol lol lol lol crazy ass!

    Kyle I get the impression that you love the attention from the ladies! your g/f cousin!!!! crushing, Cute!!!!!! you guy’s love all that don’t ya????

    I’m just leaving work so will cont…… when I get home later!! untill then byeeeeeeeeeeee ๐Ÿ™‚

  1821. #1821 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 16, 2010 - 4:26 pm

    Hahahahhahah you have quite a funny bone ;).

    HAHHAHAHAH that really cracks me up. Ohhh man.

    Yes I do love attention from ladies- but not in the way you think. Really I am more shy in real life and do not go around flirting it up. Really reserved. But if I get to know lady friends through my gf and others- by all means I am happy to have their attention and to get it…. for bursts at a time.

    Its nice to have, but I could do other non-social activities with my time and get by. But life is not worth living unless you interact some. Even a bull knows this is truth! heh

    No, strictly platonic with the Capricorn cousin. Very much so.

    Well it doesn’t matter what sex you actually are, but being a Pieces is cool. My gf’s father is one. Man what a great guy he is- super chillllll I mean super chillllll…. always helping people too.

    Only problem I note is that he can be too chill to stand up to anyone and my gf’s mom runs that household hahahha (she is a Virgo). Funny stuff.

    Ok ttyl.

  1822. #1822 by Tinker on June 16, 2010 - 8:01 pm

    Kyle darlin Kyle!,
    chilling at home now! Finally!
    Glad I made U chuckle hun, our dry piscean humour!
    and as I said have no problems being a fish, no problem with it until of course some crazy ass bull comes and thinks he can get one over because of my kind nature then hun IT”S ON!!!!lol lol no messing about!

    When U mentioned your shyness, it’s funny you should say cos I think that is one of things i did actually like about the bull! he still till this days walks through my front door looking like a shy little boy, even at his tender age lol lol lol

    Taurus are notorious for being all about the ladies, and again with the only two I know, but they were & are right on point! actually the more you type the more your sounding more like I would expect from your species lol lol (sorry! more dry humour) ๐Ÿ™‚

    was thinking today that maybe our age difference is a huge factor as to why this was never gonna work! or maybe I should stop making excuses for this idiot and make him man up and be the bull that he is! Kyle you made some really good points earlier about his past hurts and problems as to why he now just wants freedom and friendship!
    Thanks for that it gave me something to think about!

  1823. #1823 by Diane on June 16, 2010 - 9:00 pm

    Tinker

    Your bull was 45 and he still acted like that? I guess itโ€™s true sometimes they just never grow up, but I guess that is true of other men as well. You would have thought he would have been in heaven having a girl your age guess he just couldnโ€™t take that temper of yours and neither could mine handle my temper. He would run for his cave and not come out for days after he got me to my boiling point. Sometimes it seemed like he enjoyed making me angry because he would do the same thing again that made me angry the first time. lol One of mine still wants to be friends with me but I just donโ€™t know if I can do that after he treated me so badly for no good reason at all. If you are still friends with your Bull how do you do it? I would like to know.

  1824. #1824 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 16, 2010 - 9:36 pm

    You are welcome Tinker :). Very happy to shed some light on him. That’s mostly the reason I come on here to talk. Not to fight. But to offer some insight. Ladies seem very confused with the male Taurus, and yeah I know we are confusing >_<, perhaps I can simplify things.

    Hahahahahhaah see I told you…. I am very much my species…. can not pretend to be anything else. Proud to be a stubborn ass you could say….. we have our moments though…. good ones that is.

    Yeah give the bull something to think on is my advice. Do not force him to make an action. But, with a bit of logic and good feeling vibe in your voice or message- you can inform him that he has to show some initiative or else you will make a decision for your own health- health of relationship that is. You can still be friends with him.

    Any smart Taurus will choose friendship over completely losing touch with someone he cares about.

  1825. #1825 by SadgeGal on June 16, 2010 - 9:39 pm

    @ Kyle:

    Yes I do have many Librans around me but I always seem to forget, for some weird reason LOL. I also forgot to mention one of a close relative’s ex-wife who is also a Libran. Their marriage ended because she was unfaithful on more than 3 occasions. She was constantly seeking attention from others as well as approval. I think she just happens to have low self esteem though. Even now, after she’s been divorced from my relative, it’s been nothing but short relationships for her and unhealthy ones too.

    My granny would be the one who was all over the place and me being a Sag with a love for traveling, I admire her for one thing which is the fact that she got to travel to so many countries in her younger years. My granny as far as I can remember always had men around… it was relationship after relationship. As for my mum, she had stepped out of her marriage to my dad to begin an affair with a man she’d fallen in love with, so this resulted in my parents’ separation.

    I’m a reserved Sag sometimes and tend to find pleasure in my own company… I also need a good measure of solace in order to ‘recharge my batteries’ every now and then. My Taurus interest was also the same way, which I found to be something we had in common. Once he did not call me for almost 2 weeks (he used to call every day and we’d talk for HOURS ) but we still communicated on this social networking site every single day…. finally admitted he could see himself falling in love with me but didn’t want to set himself up for disappointment. I learned so much about him in the mean time, thus I developed this interest in learning about the Taurus male personality.

    Having had these experiences with dating, it’s obvious you’ve come to learn more about yourself. I always find it weird how many of these horoscope traits ring true LOL. Anyway, I see nothing wrong with having platonic friends of the opposite sex and it may do you some good to have some. I actually get along better with male friends than I do female friends, although at some point eventually the males admit to having a fancy for me *sighs*.
    As for the status of your relationship, I can see how you both came up with those three scenarios and it is a good thing that you’re talking about it with a realistic perspective. It appears that the long term success of relationships are not guaranteed, so the best thing you can do is to enjoy what you have with that special person and see where it takes you. Who knows… things might work out great for you both and you may end up being married with kids and the whole nine yards :-).

    You asked what my experiences are with Taurus men but I can’t offer much. My situation is quite unique LOL. We were friends on a social networking site since late last year and began to take interest in each other early this year. Went on to talk on the phone for the next three months (had an amazing connection too!) and made plans to visit each other, but I felt he was getting a little cold feet to come see me the couple of times he’d postpone his plans to visit? I guess I grew very impatient with him and this resulted in a ‘break up’. We recently got in touch again but I’m not really expecting anything out of the ordinary to happen. Never met, never kissed, never hugged and never got intimate… although we always shared our thoughts that they all would be wonderful experiences when we meet. I think he isn’t quite over the hurt his ex caused him and at the same time I think we have bad timing as another excuse. I actually found the long distance thing to be quite ideal because I wasn’t really looking for a relationship or dating at the time. I will say though that I’ve never found someone with whom I had such a great connection. Just imagine discovering someone you believe will make a GREAT match for you but you can’t be with that person. Maybe someday if we’re both single and more ready? Until then, life goes on ๐Ÿ™‚

    Thanks to you too for sharing your insights on this forum ๐Ÿ™‚

  1826. #1826 by SadgeGal on June 16, 2010 - 9:43 pm

    @ Kyle:

    I must let you know, it is quite refreshing to get insights from a Taurus male perspective ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m sure we all appreciate your presence on this forum…. most of us here anyway ๐Ÿ™‚

  1827. #1827 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 16, 2010 - 10:04 pm

    Yeah np- will need time to think over your response- lots of detail ;).

    We can all coexist well enough I think. Things are good now and let’s keep them that way.

    Thanks SadgeGal

  1828. #1828 by Tinker on June 17, 2010 - 10:15 am

    Diane,
    If I was to tell you the crap that got us here today girl you would think me mad, hell I think me mad when I think back to where this all started!
    short version: I dumped my using ex Gemini one friday in Nov over two years ago, my big sis came to stay with me and took us out the same friday night, it was there that i met the bull, i gave my number to no men that night and just danced with my sis friend the birthday boy most of the night after which I met up with some girls and we partied hard till early hours! at the end Bull ask me to dance and we did it was nice enough but soon forgot about it!
    Bull dropped us to the nearest taxi rank, sis got cross cos she said he should have taken us home (she new them all very well) , me and my other sis didn’t care cos we didn’t know any of these people and were just to drunk to care!
    Big sis got very angry and when she confronted the bull the next day he apoligized and told her to apologize to us too, she told him to piss off and do his dirty work himself and she gave him our number (me and my other sis) he called my other sis and apologizes she said no need as I don’t know you I had no problems, he then tried to call me but as I dont answer calls I don’t know it took him about 7 attemps to get me, after which i said the same thing as my sis, not really bothered just glad I got home in one piece!

    In true Taurus style he continued to text and call me just me! somethimes doing both at the same time!!! I was not interested in him at all and told him, he was just moving out of the g/f home where he lived with her and their son, so had issues too, this went on for months he even went on holiday with his ex and son, was booked before the break up! and called me from there!
    what can I say, he wore me down and we were such good friends by then that i guess he grew on me! started seeing him, then found out that he and big sis really new each other if you get my drift! was very shocked and sad even though it was like 15 years ago i still felt bad which is why i think we alway’s fell back on a friendship just in case I could not get over this revalation!!! I gave him hell for not telling me and his reply was you are two completely differant women in his eye’s and apart from the bad temper he would not think us sisters at all! but for me it was too late to turn back and thus is why were here today!

    From day one though he was shady, not returning calls, not showing up alway’s getting sick and I got fed up pretty quick, big sis saw some changes in me and got the gist of what was going on and she flipped out, not because we were seeing each other (she can’t stand him with a passion, I keep telling her I found someone who sounds just like her Diane it’s you):-) she would luv ya!
    but because she knows what a little shit he can be and was hoping I would avoid his game playing, but alas!
    He stood me up for the last time this time last year actually and i flipped out, I wrote a letter (very very naughty letter with naughty words even mentioned his mother) OMG!!! still cringe wen I think about it lol lol, I sent it to his job!!! he went apsolutely mad and accused me of nearly costing him his job! lol lol, I said don’t mess with women you can’t handle then idiot, we didin’t speak for months, but in true Taurus style he came back and just keeps coming no matter what I throw at him and the man don’t even want me can you imagine????

    So that is how we are friends cos he won’t leave and I don’t care enough to make him, we talk we watch dvds we email, and when i feel he is taking the piss again like now or he gets fresh with himself, i write him little letters and send them to his home, with always a spare copy to send to his job if he pushes me too far lol lol lol ๐Ÿ™‚ hope this sheds some light for you hun! as you know this sign is all about the senses so being friends is not easy, especially when you know they have feeling for you, he now lives about an hour and 20 min from me so we don’t see each other very much, as with me getting it on with other people (and I have no doubt so is he) he is having trouble dealin, (all this from a man who don’t even want me) confused??? so am I hun!!!

  1829. #1829 by Tinker on June 17, 2010 - 10:37 am

    Kyle darlin kyle,

    Yes your right Bull is all about keeping a friendship with me, he really can’t deal with my mouth, but surely you would think he would stop doing the things that he knows pisses me off wouln’t ya Kyle?? he claims to not wanting to argue or fight with me but almost in the instant he say’s it, he will say , “stay there babe I’ll call ya back in a sec “and a sec turns into two fricking day’s!!!! WTF???? but he can’t take my mouth!
    STOP MAKING MY USE IT THEN IDIOT!!!! lol lol lol ๐Ÿ™‚

    what he fails to realise is that friends or not I want the same respect weather i’m in your bed or not mate, but this notion is lost on the bull, what can I tell you!

    I will back off now and not try so hard to turn him into a human of any kind! 45 yrs old he ain’t changing for me or his mother! and i’m getting too old and tired to try!

    How are things with you and the g/f, she still making big eye’s at you and only you? has Ms Taurus been in contact again?

  1830. #1830 by saggi81 on June 17, 2010 - 11:17 am

    Hi there everyone!
    Now i have problems catching up.. hmm finally read hmm 80% of the new posts.. *speed reading* so please pardon me if i mixed things up.

    Kyle
    I think i have a lot of issues with my bull friends. One was my high school mate, we were buddies until some jealous girl created some misunderstanding between us. Guess what? He believed those lies and refused to talk to me ever again!
    The 2nd one is the guy i was talking about; I guess partly due to his venus being in gemini, he is somehow a crossbreed! I used to hate it the way he treated me after s**, before that was cosy up and nice.. after that no hands holding/wispering etc..his excuse being most guys are like that?! seriously..mayb he is just not into me.. haha.. but then why would he say things like beside getting physical, he really enjoys being with me n that i m his soulmate n he often confides in me till now? confused? u bet!

  1831. #1831 by saggi81 on June 17, 2010 - 11:41 am

    Kyle
    anyway i forgot to mention what u wrote about ya aries rings a bell! i completely shut him out for 2.5 years after our stormy relationship, he still relentless waited on messenger and finally emailed me when he finally realised i deleted him from the list and was invisible to him. again, we lost contact when things got out of hand – remember he is engaged yet secretly wants a r/s with me, he called me several times (Was ignored), texted me some crap, each time worse excuses to reconnect. finally i relented after yet another 2 years.. see thats the amount of time people waste on someone who is not meant to be. i said you mean something to me, lets not waste all these time; he said yeah he thinks the same. then beyond, no action plans, nothing.. (dead space) haha i m amused cos i have learnt to take it easy. after all its been 7 years of this tug of war.

  1832. #1832 by Tinker on June 17, 2010 - 12:27 pm

    Saggi81,
    7 years hun, is that what I have to look forward to, 7 years of this bull crap??? excuse me while I top myself!!!
    no way can I hold out that long, I take my hat off to ya girl, you must really like this guy huh??

    Good to see you have not lost your sense of humour though, as I know too well how this breed of bull can wear you out! you obviously can take a lot of nonsense like my good self, but I think the only thing I would say to you and myself is we need to start looking at these mens actions not their words! as my big sis always say’s
    “mouth is made to say anything” it’s what these bulls DO, that we should be more interested in!, and the common problem that we all share here is that is always just never enough!! they are all too good as SAYING the right thing but their actions are poor poor poor!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  1833. #1833 by Diane on June 17, 2010 - 12:50 pm

    Tinker

    You kill me with laughter. Iโ€™m starting to believe with this special kind of Bull that once you get involved with them they lose respect for us as a woman and themselves as men. I have come to realize that they have this childish way about them in how they react to situations and donโ€™t know how to play with the grown up girls. As you say they just keep doing the same exact things that pissed us off the first, second and third time slow to learn isnโ€™t even close itโ€™s more like dense or idiot as you put it. Analytical me seems to think their reasoning behind wishing to stay friends with us is their overwhelming need to collect and own things because that is the way they define themselves by what or how much they own. I wouldnโ€™t doubt that the whole lots of them probably still own pretty pet rocks they found when they were just young brats just like still owning that tattered little blue blanket that they carefully folded and have stashed away in some neat closet of theirs. I will admit I did like how tidy they were. Having to have to put up with their rubbish then having to pick up after the miserable cusps would not have gone over well with me.

    I just canโ€™t seem to bring myself to speak to the bull I dated. I think itโ€™s more that my pride and self respect get in the way. Not saying that my behavior toward him and the situation when I exploded like the Atom bomb was the right way to go, but at that point I felt the relationship was as hopeless as he is. I also wonโ€™t allow him to think that I would ever be one of his collectables that he can tuck away on one of his tidy shelves and take down to play with when he feels like it. I have also lost my inner feelings and respect for him as well although I donโ€™t hold a true grudge against him. The poor souls seem to also collect all that hurt baggage and use it against women that really love and care about them maybe they should learn what a garbage can is really used for. I donโ€™t wonder now why they are always sick. I do have to say you are a bigger person than I am to allow him to keep in touch with you.

    Thank you for your response and you have a great day luv.

  1834. #1834 by Diane on June 17, 2010 - 12:59 pm

    Wow saggi81 you have a lot of stamina to hold out 7 years for this guy when he is engaged and still messing with your head.

  1835. #1835 by saggi81 on June 17, 2010 - 1:10 pm

    tinker

    hey dar, glad i m stil maintaining some tinge of sanity yeah? LOLx yeah that is exactly the BULLSHIT he has put me through! sometimes he would refrain from commenting, saying he is not sure, he doesnt know, no point dwelling, like a headless fly. a fire sign like me told him off several times, didnt keep him from coming back to me. sometimes he behaves, sometimes he annoys. its like a bad song overplayed on media? what are the gutsy things you have tried? honestly i have done everything i could, run/hide/slam/insult/chide/issue ultimatums like i always do.. haha but none worked. cos he is such a joke that i enjoy poking fun with when i m bored. think these bulls know how to get around when they make a mistake -> retreat then hide, cross their ..hmm.. horns, hoping people forgive their screw ups and then re-emerge!

  1836. #1836 by saggi81 on June 17, 2010 - 1:20 pm

    diane

    yeah, i cant believe it too! but remember i took time off for more than half the time! i refused all contacts, be it phone calls, texts, emails – goes into my trash/recycle bin immediately during those times. some how he finds his way in again! when i am pretty sure there is no more fire buring in me (and hopefully him) i would reply. then guess what? relit! thats why its a bad record/song/joke. i tried explaining to myself – what kinda fatal attraction is this? i m no lack of suitors, i have a regular beau, yet secretly (whispers) i wish he is in my life. maybe kyle can shed some light, becuz thats what the taurus man wants too.. someone’s got to save me!

  1837. #1837 by Diane on June 17, 2010 - 3:50 pm

    Saggi81

    I think we have to save ourselves to keep them from continuing to pester us after they treated us so badly. I donโ€™t think it is sane to keep badgering someone you professed to care about and love after you have crap all over them time and time again then want to come back and be friends. I just find that to be sick. I finally had to blocked mine from being able to text me, call me, leave me voicemail, email me or โ€œimโ€ me. I am sad it came to this but dealing with him continuing to insult me by wanting to be friends was just way too much. If he would have started out being just friends and let it stay that way there would have been no problem. Like I said to Tinker I am not going to be one of his prized possessions that he can play with when he is in the mood. I gave him more than enough chances to redeem himself and do what was right after everything I had done for him and he blew it. He became such a bother that I just rolled my eyes as I never read and just deleted everything he sent me. Some men not just Taurus men donโ€™t know how to value those things in life that can bring them the most joy. What they do is use them up thinking all the time they are expendable then there comes a day in their lives that they wished they had done this or that but itโ€™s already way too late. They lose out on so many wonderful things and to me it is sad. Like you said it is a waste of ones time and life. I understand how you feel when that desire begins to burn with in you again when he comes around in some way guess that is why I totally cut them off. I donโ€™t hold a grudge but I am not that forgiving or trusting once you have crossed that line with me because I have way too much to lose. I deserve as everyone deserves to have someone in their lives that truly treasures you and all that you have to give. I hope you have enough strength to just let him go and fall on his face because until he does he will never learn, but will just keep on doing what makes him feel good in the moment at the expense of others.

  1838. #1838 by Tinker on June 17, 2010 - 3:54 pm

    Saggi81,
    yes hun like you I had to keep other suitors around cos who new when the bull was actually gonna turn up???? damned if I know, so cos he wanted to be a law unto himself,
    I gave the sucker his own damn sheriff badge! so the deal is I see you when I see you, you go and patrol the whole of great britain if you want and if our paths meet our paths meet!
    I have no advice to give you on doing gutsy stuff to these bulls, cos all the stuff I got up in my little brain involve rifles and knifes and your likely to go away for a very longgggg time hun! ๐Ÿ™‚ lol lol lol
    Nothing works or get’s through! baby girl I insulted the mans mother and he still came back!!!! WTF ๐Ÿ™‚ they are just not caring hun and unmoveable in their resolve, they are ALWAYS right and we are WRONG! my mum always said “you can’t argue with a man who is always right” how tru that is!!!
    The best we can hope and pray for is for someone to come into a lives and do right by us and love us sooooo much that MR BULL becomes nothing more then a distant memory, something to tell the grand kids when were old and grey lol lol!!!
    “i used to know a bull a crazy ass bull with bi polor” lol lol

  1839. #1839 by Tinker on June 17, 2010 - 6:22 pm

    Diane,
    Girl you make some very good points! I must admit after the intimacy they do seem to wither, they distance themselves and go cave mode on you, just giving you enough sugar, not enough for a rush but just enough to keep you coming back for more. COLLECTABLES? don’t think I much like the idea of being a collectable object ๐Ÿ˜ฆ but you know maybe that’s all I ever was. just another notch!

    Hun if you no longer respect that man after what he did to you then maintaining friendship is pointless, I say that cos sometimes I think that I allow this bull to remain in my life so I can torture his ass for my ill treatment! I love telling him about himself and upsetting him, it’s the high light of my day’s sometimes, I ain’t gonna lie, ๐Ÿ™‚ lol lol I can laugh about it only cos he deserves it and he’s an idiot!
    But you don’t want a man around whom your gonna resent all the time cos it does wear thin after a while and you realise that no amount of torture or tarnish is going to stop them from being bulls!
    So if you can’t even imagine talking to this dude again then I think why bother try! If he really wanted a relationship with you, friendship or other, he would have behaved his little arse and treat you like the gem you are baby!!!
    I remember asking my Bull not so long ago, “why do you keep coming back hun” do you know what he said to me! “cos you get on my nerves and I miss that”lol lol
    so there you have it babe in a nut shell! they can’t help themselves and I can’t help them either! ๐Ÿ™‚

  1840. #1840 by Diane on June 17, 2010 - 7:37 pm

    Tinker and Saggi81 if you ever want to talk private give me a buzz in this made up email which is (suzzy.homemaker@yahoo.com) then I will give you my real email address. Oh and where has our Kyle been? Probably gone to his dark cave to regenerate. Lol Tinker I so wished I lived near you we would have a blast.

  1841. #1841 by SadgeGal on June 17, 2010 - 8:25 pm

    *sighs* and *shakes my head*.

    @ Kyle: No worries, mate…. take your time ๐Ÿ™‚ Hope you’re having a good day.

  1842. #1842 by saggi girl on June 17, 2010 - 9:03 pm

    oh, wow, this site is still full of dramas.. but i am no longer part of it.. my advice after 2.5 years of being with a jerk will be “run, run, run” from a taurus guy, as I am sure that they were never cherished with what they have.. as they too much focus on themselves about what they need. I think their problems are thinking too much..what a ride.. i am glad that i am finally done with it.. well, still miss him but i am glad that it is over..

    I am not saying all of the taurus guy are bad like that one i dated, but it seems that women on this site do not have good experience with taurus guy. I think the problem with taurus guy is that they complicated things, which will make people around them suffer..

    sorry if i offended anyone here as i did not mean to.

  1843. #1843 by Tinker on June 17, 2010 - 9:27 pm

    *sighs* and *shakes her head*
    @ Kyle darlin Kyle
    come back babe, all is forgiving hun ๐Ÿ™‚
    we should expect you to go away for day’s on end shouldn’t we! women have been describing this very trait all through this blog!
    hope your ok!

  1844. #1844 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 17, 2010 - 9:29 pm

    Actually, hate to disappoint you Diane, but I am still here reading and thinking things over.

    One positive result of our tiff is that it has reignited this forum. Even though you wish I would not share my thoughts because it hurts your credibility about Bulls when an actual bull is here to dispute them. And a male at that. You have only one side of understanding the male Taurus and CLEARLY it is biased. Everyone sees that on this forum. Too bad you decide to be just as stubborn about it as a bull.

    Find is interesting you love to gloss over, particularly with the lady contributors, the baseless attacks you hurled at me like they never happened. And yet you keep them coming after peace had been established.

    Anyone ever told you just to keep your mouth shut unless you have something good to say? Do not even answer that, its rhetorical and you will be forced to lie. I hate making people lie.

    And its been what a day? You were practically gone for a day to…. what does that mean for you? Should I automatically assume you retreated to a cave? Do not make assumptions that are baseless. A good lesson in life.

    In fact, I am in Barnes in Noble as I write this- not regenerating at all- feeling very good. Thanks for “caring”.

    I think you just like to pick on bulls. Yep. Lucky us….

    And yet when you respond to the others on this forum you show a character that is 180 degrees different than the one you show me.

    Will say though it is nice to see you open up about yourself. I am going to be reserved in judging you though, but it sounds like you just do not have good luck with bulls- period. Best to stay away from them in the real life. Do them and yourself a favor.

    Ohhh sure, you can keep trying to get me wound up to this point I will give you the horns, but its a wasted effort.
    Whatever Zodiac sign you are, it is definitely the least compatible with a Taurus. You like to play some mind games that much is clear. Bulls don’t like that.

    That is why for the most part I am ignoring you. And talking in private is a good idea if you do not want to show the deeper side of you on this forum…. maybe a side of you where you can be yourself and not this attacking person.

    And I am not the only one telling you chill out.

    Actually I have been busy taking care of a guy friend who’s lights were turned off- so he had to stay at my place. He said it was his first good sleep in- he didn’t know how long.

    Also I have been in contact with the military to get an idea of what my career will be. You know…. doing typical Taurus future planning activities. ๐Ÿ™‚

    ALRRRIGGGHHHTTTTTT……..- on to business.

    @ SadgeGal

    Thanks again. So you are a Sagittarius. Interesting. That is the same as my mom. From my experience I can tell you she is one tough lady. Always giving herself big goals and often following through on them.

    For example- she does Marathon Running and acts like it isn’t a big deal lol. Well at her age she still always arrives in the top three. She is amazing and I have come to discover that with age. Very blessed to have a Saggittarius mother. She does drive the rest of us (family) nuts though with her lofty goals and drill attitude. But it may serve me well in the near future.

    So you tried to date a bull over the internet. Well I can tell you that it is not impossible as my current Libra gf and I had one fateful chat after not talking half a year on Facebook. Then we decided to meet- both single- why the hell not? lol But I should note I did meet her a few times before going back at least 2 years. Never around her long enough to get to know her.

    The Taurus guy got cold feet at the last minute…. a few things may have been going on. Maybe he really does have strong love feelings for you and is too afraid if he meets you it will not turn out the way he predicts it to.

    Taurus try to minimize unpredictability as much as possible.

    It is also possible this guy had more going on in his life than he revealed and never thought beyond the good feelings he got from you talking online- over the phone, over the distance basically.

    But I can advise that you should not completely give up on him. Just instead of prodding him along at this point- be very forward about what you want. Like an actual relationship.

    As much as the Taurus likes being “guided” to a new stage whether it be a place, theorectical thing, or a person we also HIGHLY value straight forward demands. Very practical to us. Saves resources because we expend a lot of resources investigating people we have feelings for. We really do.

    @ Tinker- Yeah your bull knows what he is doing to you. He probably thinks he is being seductive, but in your case, he is doing more harm than good.

    This is a Taurus who is too confident in his attraction abilities. Hahahah sounds like you need to set the record straight with him and being a Pieces this may be hard for you because you hate confrontation.

    What sign is your sister btw? She sounds very protective lol. But I think that is a good thing.

    And this Taurus will not take your mouth….. hmmmmmmm…. sign of a guilty Taurus. Very much so-
    in that past, I would not like to listen to someone giving me a strong piece of their mind. It really bothered me especially if it was about me and they were mad.

    However, since I have matured in general I can take somebody being critical of me even with a lot of anger behind it. I just kinda sit back and listen very attentively. Not saying much. This hasn’t happened in a long time mind you, but I always find if someone really needs to vent, and especially if it has to do with me, they feel really good after getting it out while I listen. Then things normally patch up.

    Hahaha maybe you just need to trap this Taurus guy in one place and let him have it. No he will not like it one bit, but then he will be force to realize you are serious- not really enjoying his tactics.

    @ Saggi

    Wow!!! Some intense Taurus interactions you have had. Sorry about the one in high school….. that is not like a bull to fully cut off contact with a person for no reason… especially on hear say.

    That girl must have been a very good negotiator or she must have told a whopper of lie. Something along the lines that you were secretly spreading lies behind his back… making fun of him. Tauruses are sensitive to lies and if they are done behind their backs…. that can often be it.

    Betting his initial rage got the better of him before he used his head to get to the bottom of it. His instant cut off from you all, but proves that.

    As for the other bull…. sounds like he doesn’t see that sometimes you just do not have the patience for him lol. I remember my ex Aries gf sometimes telling me… really? lol, in her sweet way, just get on with it.

    The fires signs definitely like to charge ahead and are not bashful in letting the other signs, and their significant others they are feeling slowed down.

    Seems like you agree with the intense sexual relations with the Taurus. That is one of the few times I was with my ex Aries that I felt our speedometers roared at exactly the same speeds! It was great…..

    What are your future plans with this Taurus?

    Again, thanks for asking me questions :). I like to feel useful.

    Will be back tonight or in a day. You can count on it. Even “our” Diane can count on it ;).

    Later

  1845. #1845 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 17, 2010 - 9:44 pm

    Hahaha you gals really crack me up. I seriously was gone for a day because I was very busy taking care of things. Not licking my wounds or anything like that- not from this blog.
    Just getting a realistic dose of the next stage of my life (career)- that is where much of my mind has been- although this is a great place I am finding to learn from.

    About to go away for the weekend with the Libra gf to take care of my parent’s pets. Ohhhh yesss.. there will be ample time for me to write here ๐Ÿ™‚ hahaha.

    Not heard from the Taurus girl … friend really so nothing new on her. I hope she is alright. Will wait for her to talk to me if she needs me.

    Ohhhh- yeah Taurus guys like to text and see how you ladies are doing a lot. I am totally guilty of that one. Rest assured it is all genuine… we do not do it for kicks and giggles. We care- even if we suck at showing it.

    Saggi81- hey do what you think is healthy for you and this Bull. I think my ex Aries decided that a break from me was good for her health and college was a legitimate way to do it. It was mutual as a few things about her were starting to rub me the wrong way. I was ready to get OUT of high school and did not try to shield it.

    Just to warn you ;), you may find yourself gravitating back to your bull in the future- at least for friendship, if not for love. That is what my ex Aries has done.

  1846. #1846 by Diane on June 17, 2010 - 11:17 pm

    Dear me I made one small comment about Kyle retreating to his cave and I was the only one that got verbally assaulted despite what everyone else said about Taurus men lol. Kyle luv Iโ€™m not disappointed itโ€™s just your nature when you come up against a woman like me. I think you are all upset because you canโ€™t get me to say anything about myself. Just like Tinkers bull said he missed how she picks at him. Tinker I laughed all day after I read that your bull misses how you pick at him, seriously a glutton for punishment these creatures are and so much fun we have with them because they just keep coming. Kyle sorry luv but your horns canโ€™t affect me because I will saw them off at the skin but you are cute when you get all angry. You could never guess what sign of the zodiac I am and I am sure out of pride you will come back and say you donโ€™t care when I know you do. I know the bull well enough to know that they canโ€™t stand it when they donโ€™t know, inquisitive and intrusive little creatures these bulls are. I just always smiled when my bulls were asking all these questions that I refuse to answer and they always tried to pick my brain and never got anywhere. Oh I love Barns and Noble but I go there to buy books not play on the Internet lol. Kyle dear I didnโ€™t attack you, you just took it that way. OMG I am still laughing at what Tinkers bull said to her. We girls should get together and write a book about these men. It would probably be on the best sellers list.

  1847. #1847 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 17, 2010 - 11:33 pm

    Very well- I accept your answer Diane. Not gonna ask you what sign you are. Tired of that.

    At least you are “lol”ing. That’s improvement, lol.

    Yes I will agree with you that Barnes and Noble is a great place… but again you make a semi-baseless assumption….

    sigh… you tend to do that just as much as I do my “bull” stuff…

    I was there over 5 hours and for 4 of those hours was reading a Stephen King Novel called Duma Key for a project I have. Also read some magazines. Then bought some book gifts for my dad and gf.

  1848. #1848 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 17, 2010 - 11:51 pm

    I do though appreciate you ladies making me rethinking getting out more.

    Yes including you Diane. We can all tell you have experience with Taurus men refusing to go out at all.

    I actually suggested to my Libra gf on the phone that we should go dancing. hahhaha oh trust me it got her off guard and she is very happy.

    It’s 80s night at this dance club so should be good :).

    Hope you ladies have a fun night too.

  1849. #1849 by saggi81 on June 18, 2010 - 1:08 am

    Diane

    u bet lady! wasting my life away he is. i contemplate teaching him a lesson, sometimes i just treat him as a mind stimulating history project albeit boring, we sag love to study things! thanks for offering a listening ear too. i badly need to vent but think u r very right, time to move on and this time is final. he doesnt treat me better than a stranger on the street, why would i care?

    tinker

    i know what u mean! amazing work there, everytime i agree to meet him up, i run through in my mind what nasty things to say. but later on i eat my words up! haha.. i cant seem to get those things out of me! i wonder why!

    kyle

    honestly that 1st bull was one of a kind. how he dared to believe an acquaintance than his buddy?! unbelieveable..

    i hate the so called sizzling passion! blaming everything on it he does! unfaithfulness to his official partner, hanging me by the roadside to dry after he wakes up from his fantasy, searching for me again when he leaps into his crazy dream. theres always something/someone to blame when i confront him. why so? i truly wanna help his insecurities but he doesnt want to help himself?

  1850. #1850 by Tinker on June 18, 2010 - 9:51 am

    Kyle darlin Kyle,
    see how you gone for 1 day and we miss you already, how sad are we remind me???? lol lol lol ๐Ÿ™‚

    glad to hear things are going well with the gf, out dancing to 80s huh, good for you, go shake a tail feather for me hun! sometimes if you can’t beat them you join them but only if you love them! and if she sees you doing things you know she likes, she might actually step up her game and be more available to you!
    My ex libra loved attention and thinking that my moon and stars revolved around him, (not!!!!) but there were times i had to put him in the driving seat and let him think he was running the show for five minutes, he loved it!!! till i pulled the plug! home boy was getting way too comfortable making me do all the things he liked! damn near forgot who the hec I was!!!!!
    But it’s nice to take an interest in what your love one likes and wants, so well done you! let us know how your night went hun!!

  1851. #1851 by Tinker on June 18, 2010 - 10:00 am

    saggi81!
    you would not believe how many women come here to this blog, vent their frustration then decide it’s all a joke and bail out! no one would tell you to dump this chump but no one would encourage you to stay either!

    it get’s to the point where we just keep them to poke fun at them cos lets face it, sometimes the shit they come out with is just a JOKE!!!! and unfortunately everything about them then becomes a joke and not a ha ha ha joke either. more af a ,’you sad little bastard’ joke! you get me????

    he will be back hun, with is 101 reasons why you should hang in there with him, but you sound like a very wise woman from where i’m sitting so he better watch out!!! lol ๐Ÿ™‚

  1852. #1852 by Tinker on June 18, 2010 - 10:13 am

    Diane!
    I’m so glad I tickled you pink hun, nothing like a good hard long strong belly laugh! lol lol me and my sis get together regularly to do just that, we got on like this for hours until her partner has to actually leave the room cos he can’t cope with our stupidity!!! lol lol men! don’t U just Luv em!

    A book sounds like a swell idea, would love to get all this stuff out there to help all those mis guided women! wish I could shout from the roof tops sometimes “RUN GIRLS RUN HE AIN’T GONNA CHANGE RUN”!!!!! but failing that I guess a book will just have to do! ๐Ÿ™‚

  1853. #1853 by Tinker on June 18, 2010 - 10:22 am

    Saggi Girl!

    No offence taken hun, you were one of the original women on this site and i did enjoy reading about your highs and lows with your bull, the way you flipped out on him sometimes reminded me so much like my good self, found it very entertaining!
    Again i’m sorry it didn’t work out for you all as I could tell from your posts that you really loved this man, but in true Bull style the dragging of the feet does get all to much after a while! you just want to shake some life into them sometimes and wake them the hell up don’t ya!
    Good to hear from you saggi girl and good luck with your next venture!

    p.s just keep away from those bulls hun! “step away from the bull” lol lol
    Take care x

  1854. #1854 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 18, 2010 - 2:07 pm

    Honestly it takes a thick skin to date a bull…. as my Libra has found out.

    We do compromise a lot though… think that is what makes things work. She treats me like a classic Taurus which is probably best.

    This means she definitely elevates my hunger for food (the finer things) as she loves to cook and eat too. We pretty much went to down on a plate of Nachos last night in bed and it was great. 80s night never materialized because she was too tired….. damn, such a missed opportunity!

    The Roles were reversed! Hahahaha

    If she are still with a Taurus and they offer to go out and get wild- which is extremely rare btw, then find the energy to take them up on the offer…. assuming you are not mad at them lol. Its bound to be a good night out.

    Either way, my Libra is 2 for 2 for my needs which is pleasure of the stomach and yes, pleasure of body ;).

    @ Tinker

    No my dear Tinker- you and the gals are not sad at all. I really like the female perspective on the bull. Even if much of it is to vent. Helps me know what to work on.

    I gain as much as you might here :).

    My main advice for having anything beyond friends with the Taurus male is to keep it casual and do not get attached if you would like to shield yourselves from our craziness.

    Seriously- draw a line and tell the Taurus guy that although you have a thing for him- he drives you away and you will not settle for his blunders . This will make the Taurus guy introspective and we will try to change some if we can. This has to be the reason many of you ladies can no simply forget about the Taurus…. we do allure in mysterious ways. And ohh yes, I am bragging here.

    But we also drive people away in droves hahahaha. Comes at a price I guess.

    So use the bull if you can keep his heart from fluttering two extra beats for you… or else you are doomed for a long chase by him. He will not give up easily.

    If you hold us by the horns and force us to your standards- we will begrudgingly respect you for it. There is nothing like a female who stands her ground to the bull… it intrigues us. *winks at Diane* We have our limits though…

    Still, if you can keep a bull from wandering off and as a good guy friend I think you will all be happy with the results. If he is very good friends with you that means he is either physically stimulated with you or you have an exceptional personality he likes. Maybe both.

    What is curious is that the female Taurus I know does this “wandering” off business that I in the past have done. It is not so much irritating to me b/c I am patient… but it does leave a lot of room for a “WTF” is your problem thinking… so I get your complaints on this.

    Hahahahhaha I feel like I am giving lots of discouraging information, but a lot of it is truth.

    But if you know the quick way to your Taurus’s heart without giving up the core stuff (instant sexual gratification springs to mind) then you may have a winner.

    We do not fully know half the shit we put you women through and if we had better awareness we could probably live in more harmony with the other signs. We think we are being ourselves most times.

    I would also suggest trying all the other male signs before the bull- the ones you think you could like. You could find happiness MUCH quicker….. much quicker. Still if they don’t do it for you perhaps hold out for a Taurus guy as a last resort. Everything I have read says if someone snares a Taurus for life- they are damn well worth the wait and drama.

    Hope this helps some…

    Any luck ladies with getting a bull motivated? We are very reactionary. What strategy have you used and were you successful ever?

    My gf knows a few surefire ways. haha

  1855. #1855 by saggi81 on June 19, 2010 - 12:22 am

    tinker

    hi there! yeah, i m in a he-is-such-a-bad-joke mood now! hahha.. until maybe he wins me over with some nice coaxing.. well, guess we really dont have to waste time playing silly games with them! are they worth the wait? not for fire fury me!

  1856. #1856 by Interested girl on June 19, 2010 - 10:50 pm

    What an interesting site! Like others, I have been following these blogs, (probably for about 8 months now), and seem to have quite a few Taurean friends, male and female. Anyway, what Kyle says, seems to generally sum up my experience with both.

    I know about 4 Taurus men fairly well, and although they do have qualities which make them seem typical of their sign, they are all very different, and this I attribute to their rising and moon signs, as well as their genes, and environmental factors such as their upbringing. Two of the four, have fallen prey to substance abuse in their younger to middle years, but have both received treatment and have turned their lives around. What I want to say, and would be interested in some feedback on this, is that I really feel that this is due to their sensitivity and possible inability to assert and express themselves fully, also resulting in lower self esteem (generally in younger years).

    I have also noticed that they seem to use words poetically, and often I find they use the very same expressions, even though they are all in different geographic locations!

    When they are in pursuit of you, you definitely know it, as they
    zone in and charm the pants of you…, and you certainly feel their magnetism, but by the same token, they can
    be ruthless to protect themselves from being hurt.

    They all seem to be loyal and caring, and make great friends.
    And as for the lovers side, only have experience of one, and
    here have been made to feel very special. By not being overtly sexual, yet having very healthy sexual drive, and charisma, is definitely a winning combination for me!

    I look forward to any response as well as look forward to future readings of these blogs…. this has become a weekly read!

  1857. #1857 by SadgeGal on June 19, 2010 - 11:28 pm

    @ Kyle:

    Thanks ๐Ÿ™‚

    So your mum is a Sag too? That’s great! You seem to have a fairly good relationship with her and admire her. Sometimes I wonder what kind of mother I’ll be LOL. I know I’ll raise my (future) kids with a strict hand and a perfectionist’s mentality. Yeah, I too do drive people nuts sometimes LOL… it’s for a good reason though ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Yes, I did meet this Taurus online (he was a friend on Myspace for a while) and we just ‘clicked’ the instant we began to take romantic interest in each other. You may be right… he did mention he was going through some issues but wouldn’t tell me what they are. I guessed they were family-related because he used to tell me about arguments he’d had with his dad especially. Anyway, I can’t dismiss the possibility that he had someone he was seeing locally although he denied it every time I asked. We talked on the phone several times during the day and for hours literally every night before bedtime, so it seemed at the time that he was being honest.

    Well, I haven’t completely given up on him as I find myself thinking sometimes that ‘this is my future husband’ LOL. I may be right but it’s also possible that this may just be fantasy that’s all in my head lol. This man really got me intrigued and I can’t get him out of my head completely. We haven’t really spoken for a week now and I feel like I shouldn’t contact him. I like to think that things happen for a reason. Maybe there’s a chance we’ll meet in the future but for now I’m content with the way things are….. as casual friends.

    Thanks for all your advice. I wish there was a way I could tell you all about the situation in private, but I don’t want to take up too much of your time. You’ve been nothing but nice so far. I hope you’re enjoying your weekend ๐Ÿ™‚ Sounds like you and your gf had a great outing.

  1858. #1858 by SadgeGal on June 20, 2010 - 2:52 am

    @ Interested girl:

    Very nice observation you have there and well put together. Perhaps you can offer some people here advices on relationships with the Taurus male (much needed by some)….. of course, coming from a female perspective.

    Are you also a Taurus? If not, may I ask what your sign is? ๐Ÿ™‚ Have a happy weekend.

  1859. #1859 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 20, 2010 - 3:08 pm

    Hi interested girl ๐Ÿ™‚

    Thanks for following this blog and its awesome that it gives some reading kicks hahaha.

    Some very strong opinions here right?

    You make a great point about Taurus guys that are growing up. We have a very difficult childhood in terms of socializing and knowing who we are.

    I was no exception. Even though I had a very supportive family and good friends- I still felt left out from at least 5th grade all the way up through the end of high school. I was reserved and more private while most other students were going crazy- drugs, alcohol, and hanging out while I did completely different things like reading a lot, being a nerd.

    However I did do X-country and Track which was fun, but hard as I lacked the competitive mentality and the guys noted it, but they did like my company generally.

    I did have an Aries gf which I have said before and she helped me learn about myself some.

    But in summary, yes overall I wasn’t aware of how much I affected people and how to fully control my feelings until college where my closets friends started to develop.

    I can understand the substance abuse of the two Tauruses you knew and it was probably more of a result of depression than anything else. We can be very depressed creatures because it is often a life of being alone. And that’s really hard for us to go out on the town and instantly fix. It doesn’t work that way. We are anything, but spontaneous.

    Ahhh yes you do note how we speak and write… it is with a certain style. Not saying we exude flare in our words. But we can be colorful with our language and even more ruthless if somebody is threatening us. At least I have a crude side to me where I say very forward, funny, yet brow raising statements. Usually these make people laugh. You’ll know. No mistaking.

    Yes I can confirm we are extremely sensitive. We observe a lot more than people around us think we do. Their biggest mistake…. always. I guess people assume we are too simple on the outside ;).

    Nice of you to share your experiences of 4 Tauruses and to make comparisons. Yes we differ and I think that has a lot to do with genes and upbringing.

    Hahhahaha we do charm the pants off you if we dig you. You will totally know. Suppose that is why when we suddenly stop talking to you (going to the cave as its called) it comes as a shock!

    I too am curious what sign you are ;). Heh. Sounds like you mesh well with most of the Taurus attributes. THinking you may be an earth sign.

    @ Sadgegal

    You’re welcome!

    Yeah my mom is totally a Sag and she is a very outgoing person. We clash a little on that when sometimes I just want to chill out and she is into 50 things at once. This is when I am visiting of course.

    Hey I am sure you will be an excellent mother!!! Have no worries. My mother seemed to have limitless energy to do everything for my siblings and I. And she was very good at making us face our challenges when we needed to.

    She did work us like Drill Instructor sometimes, but I feel it prepared me very well for my adult life. Its hard to understand at a younger age why your mom can not be cool like the other kid’s mom. But there is a reason for that! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Sure we can talk in private if you want. My AOL (AIM) screenname is roitingjames and you can add me as a buddy. Or we can figure out another way.

    I have no problem sharing my time and helping others :). Very happy to be made purposeful.

    Am thinking of a way you could meet your Taurus guy because that is the only way to know if you guys are going to work in the long run. We’ll talk!

    Thanks- the weekend has been great so far. Great food, hiking, biking, and hanging out. Hope yours has been good too.

    Take care!

  1860. #1860 by Aries23 on June 21, 2010 - 4:20 pm

    Hey everyone,

    A month ago I reconnected with a Taurus guy that I met at an ACT test on Valentines Day 2 years ago but we kind of let that relationship die within a few days. One day I was on facebook and I was looking through my friends deleting those who I don’t talk to anymore, when I saw this handsome looking guy, so being the initiator that I am, I messaged him. We hung out a bit (once every few weeks)and after I invited him to spend memorial day with me, he asked me to be his girlfriend.
    After memorial day, we hung out two more times and had a great time, but I noticed that whenever I would leave I would be fine for about a day, then I would start missing him something fierce, which was weird because usually I don’t miss people after I spend a lot of time with them. So I would text him to see how he was doing.
    And then he starts doing what has been defined as the norm among the Taurus male, ignoring me. So over facebook I sent him a message saying I don’t appreciate him doing this and a relationship cannot be made on zero communication. No reply. So I was about to dump him, when I found this website, lucky for him. Now that I have an understanding of who he is and at the pace he moves, and I have been playing the waiting game for 4 days, and guess who finally texts me? Waiting really does work with this relationship, and I think it’s a good character builder for any woman who becomes involved with these men. It takes the patience of a mountain.
    What I have observed from them: they like moving at their own pace, good lovers, playful, they act like little kids when excited or don’t get their way, really fun to be around, like talking about themselves (but they never say anything too personal), they love their space and food, and once they have their eyes set on you (first off you must be very beautiful and have a traits that normal women don’t have) they will make you theirs; however, they don’t like having all at once because it bores them.

  1861. #1861 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 21, 2010 - 5:19 pm

    @ Aries23

    Hahaha that’s a good summary on us. Hmmmm almost too good. *searches for that delete button*

    ohhhh, nvm.

    Joking aside – yes you hit up all the major points on Taurus guy behavior. Occasionally we can act like “kids” if we are dead set against something. a.k.a. stubborn streak.

    Yes, the reverse is true- if things are going our way we can get very excited and show lots of emotion- almost slipping into a kid frenzy. Catches people by surprise I know.

    2 other pts you said ring true:

    1) We will talk about ourselves in a French way which is self deprecation to make a point or reflection on character. I say French b/c this trait is highly valued over there I just learned from my brother. Otherwise revealing too much information on ourselves in a spoken conversation is seen as bragging = not our cup of tea.

    2) Yeah if you want to be the woman that catches our eye you’d better have your *natural* beauty output quite high. Makeup doesn’t really help this too much- sure you could enhance your prettiness with some makeup. But if we do not see some natural beauty underneath- don’t get your hopes up. Really this means taking care of your body above everything else.

    You ladies expect the same of your men in general, n’ est pas?

    This tip Aries23 gives only applies to the skin level. Taurus guys are not shallow and will want a GREAT personality to compliment that beauty.

    However, I would like to make you think we are more interested in your personality than your looks, but I cannot promise this is true all the time. Not gonna lie to you.

    I know one thing for sure- if this Taurus guy you are interested in is his 20s and not yet looking for his bride to be…. and if he is handsome/good looking….. you’d better feel pretty confidant in your looks and have some. Or else you will be wasting your time unless you can make him your good friend. He should be polite about it though.

    Having a good body goes back to the sensual side of us and at this age…. ummmmmm yeah sexually raging doesn’t even begin to describe us behind closed doors.

    However if your Taurus guy is before (naive) or after this time (fully matured) than you stand a good chance of using more of your personality and other attributes to woo him.

    Yes I am living proof of what I just reinforced. My gf isn’t quite a super model to the world, but she does get lots of guy crushes without asking for them and she knows she is good looking enough to reign in a bull. Nuff said.

    Thanks Aries23 for that addition. Would like to hear more about this guy are (dating now)? Impressed you figured out the waiting game…. that’s what it takes sometimes.

  1862. #1862 by capricorn lady on June 21, 2010 - 6:33 pm

    The way i see the taurus man …

    Very sweet and insecure inside but, never shows it to the real word ..
    Thinks and feels everything with emotions ….(that is why they are so deep)
    Hates diffence in his daily routine ore life for that matter..(because the security falls away)
    They build their world in surtan ways that they are comfterble with
    They get used by that routine because it feels safe …
    So any changes can cause great stress in their lifes wich is why they are so slow …

    Get it ladies ?

    Why do you think they are funny people and very good at not talking about their deep feelings
    (and i mean to anyone including their own mom ore best friend)

    They will never let you know if they are down and if they say they are down (than they are realy bad down)
    And you will hear some things but most of them are heartbroken with deep insecurity about themselves because of the pain
    some former girlfiends has cost them ..
    And believe me because thay think emotionaly most of them will think they are not worth the relationship because
    they think the girl deserves better ..

    Now don,t get all bad about the taurus man because this in my heart is the most beuitifull man in the zodiac ..
    And yes it will take a long time to win their hearts (most of you already have believe me )
    But they are so so hurt and realy lost trust in themselves to be good enough for you ..

    Reason for that is very simple with former girlfriens a taurus when he gives himself he gives al there is to give
    They give their complete hearts with every soul and cel of their body ..
    So imagine giving al and then the relation ship brakes up (goodbye love goodbye self asteem totaly)
    Ending up thinking they are not worth enough ..(get it ladies?)

    Now don,t ever start talking about it with them they will denie it with every peace of cell in their body to you ..
    Why very simple they are man (real man and will never alow themselves to be the weak one in front of you)

    So girls that is why they are who they are .
    And if you realy realy love them you can feel them like me ….

    So if you realy love your man try to feel his emotions and stop bitching about how he treats you ..
    Stop taking everything they say for the word, feel the emotion between the words feel him ..
    ( he realy does have no idea what he is doing he just protecting his routine and safe life ),

    Instead be his friend give him room and love ..

    To be honest i have a third eye for energies and i feel his very very deep inside me
    (wich i can only feel if i,m in his heart )

    I am still developping but already very strong and so i talked to 10 different mediums who all told me to trust my instict .
    (sorry i,d like to know if i,m feeling it right and i am )

    I know he thinks about me but is also know thet he is dealing with isseus from the past, and that can take a while
    (yes cave time )

    He got deep feelings for me and it scared him so he started to cave ..And i made his unsolved issues free just becaus he
    got deep feelings for me ..So he is right now dealing with his unsolved issues in his mind and when he has done that
    he might be ready for me but not just yet because i,m a change in his security ..

    So don,t expect, but be friends and love him from your heart not with your mind but realy from the heart ..
    They want to feel safe with you and secure .If you can,t give safety and security you can forget it totaly ….
    So no dating other guys even if he say,s so it,s just his not worthy feeling talking to you …

    So Kyle you wanted to know what i do well ..

    I,m a fulltime mom and working on Reikie and Feng Shui ..Still in studie with both and love it ..

    Hope i made some things more easy by realy trying to understanding the taurus with broken hearts ..
    (cause believe it ore not most of them have broken hearts broken trust in humanity and beingthemselves)

    love Sylvia

  1863. #1863 by Aries23 on June 21, 2010 - 7:27 pm

    Taurus Guy,

    Yes, the infamous waiting game. It took me a few days to figure it out…but they were the longest and not most pleasant days to be around me. It was funny when he initiated the text, because I wasn’t really expecting him for a few more days, but I guess he was wondering about me enough.
    And yeah, this Taurus and I have been dating since memorial day this year. He’s really fun to be around, is obsessed with soccer(plays and watches it) and comic books, and is always making me laugh or smile. He hasn’t shown me his mean side, like the posts up above describe, and I don’t think we’ll have too many real fights. But we always end up play fighting and tackling each other to the ground, a fight for dominance, and that’s basically the only time we’ll start making out….( Not the most normal relationship, but I like it ๐Ÿ™‚ )
    It surprises me though, he doesn’t seem to keen on sweets like most Taurus men. And since he doesn’t reveal too much about himself, I don’t know what foods he likes to eat and I don’t want to cook for him yet, because that’s too much too soon.

  1864. #1864 by saggi81 on June 22, 2010 - 12:44 am

    capricorn lady

    Hi babe! well well, its touching to read your entry (right on the day i m gonna start my abstinence) its a pity that the struggle is long and grueling, if u ever read my story i have survived a few storms with this man and it was really hard. good luck to you dear, i really hope u can keep the faith to prove its worthwhile.

    kyle

    why do u guys love the waiting game so much? i m so gonna hint to him i m going to vanish if he is just answering me on IM and not taking the initiative. to say the least i m pi*sed! he was the one who admits to not treating me well (yeah when i disappeared for 2.5 long years) and now we r back to square one. in fact, he initiated the meet ups recently but not w/o some agenda. i sincerely hope its not for the dinner i cooked, the book i helped borrow for him. =(

  1865. #1865 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 22, 2010 - 3:43 am

    Thanks for that incredibly deep understanding of the Taurus Capricorn lady. Seems like you have gone to great lengths to understand us… almost to a spiritual level.

    You appear to be very in touch with yourself and energies.

    Yes, it is true, Taurus are very uneasy outside of their routines… but sadly, most people never get this.

    Yes I was hurt for 3 years after my college “love”. But I realized that was young love. Still, I did feel like I lost my life because I had given so much to her….. this is very hard for us to break. To many people I never showed this though, pretended things were good. I think that is b/c people seek us out for advice on their lives often so we figure we have to appear strong… reliable all the time. It’s hard.

    @ Aries23

    Ok cool :). Yeah we do have a mean side, but generally it is harmless and I would say people only mistake me for being “mean” if I make a joke that goes too far. Otherwise we have to be extremely bitter Taurus to be mean. We can be snappy though if very moody.

    As for your bf- sounds wonderful. Truly happy for you and him :). Sounds like what I had in high school only older and more steady. Yeah brace yourself for one or two ugly fights coming in the not too distant future. It will likely come from your aggressive pace of wanting to do things (not that this is bad in itself) and his slower pace. But you guys should have a lot of intimacy with the make-up.

    I wouldn’t worry about “real fights” because as long as you guys mesh like you are doing now they shouldn’t occur. Fights really only spring up with a Taurus when we feel threatened and if you violate our nature/principles and don’t seem to care. Of course that is if we care about you to begin with…. if not… we find it easier to ignore.

    As for the food… when you are ready just make something really simple. My ex Aries used to bake simple treats…. cookies and the like, but you could try for something healthier. Either way, the best tip I can give is let your Taurus guy watch you bake something for him. He will be softly taken by this…..

    harkens back to the actions speak volumes to a Taurus, not so much from words…

    @ saggi81

    Not sure why some guys love the waiting game so much… nor some women for that matter. Dif strokes for dif folks?

    But I can attest that a Taurus is best equipped of all Zodiacs to be patient during this game without even trying.

    Really hope this guy is not using you… but my gut says he probably likes your company even if he has his problems. You are useful to him too. Just remember he will bend over backwards if you really need him as a friend.

    Bite the bullet on this one, sit down for a serious talk with him. Sort out how you feel about each other and come out of the talks knowing you can just be friends or something more. If he cannot seem to commit to other things than you need to reveal you are going on to try new things/ people. If he lets you go too easily… sorry but maybe he is not into you….

    But if he fears losing you and let’s this show, high possibility he is into you and is just being too cautious. Make clear no more dissappearing on you or else you will take it as a sign that he doesn’t care enough.

  1866. #1866 by saggi81 on June 22, 2010 - 6:23 am

    kyle

    thanks pal for your input. yeah we tried talking before but talk is one and his actions are just another. he says he only gets the special feel when he is with me, he will treasure me and our bond. thats just lip service? i dont knw but i can feel he is trying yet not willing to give up his personal space. i guess he loves himself more than he loves me, not forgetting he is a rather private person.
    as for his disappearing, he would say he is busy with work and family and he is spending double the time he used to on me. arh.. maybe i just have to cope with myself. he is a great guy, dependable (most of the time) but i dont really want to bother him so much lest he thinks i m too needy, i just cant tolerate the “just hang around while i do hundred n one things before i get back to u” attitude all the time.
    i think if the romance is too deep he will take the flight becuz he doesnt seem to be able to cope w so much trouble we had for so many years..

  1867. #1867 by Tinker on June 22, 2010 - 9:26 am

    Kyle darlin Kyle,
    Hello hun glad to see your still here helping us lost ladies out, what a gem you are mate!
    Well now Tinker needs advice daddy Kyle lol lol lol ๐Ÿ™‚

    So Mr Bull pushes me away again cos were obviously getting on too well so he has to rock the boat in true Taurus style! as I said in my previous post hun I was gonna give him soooo much space he would not know what to do with himself! after about a week of nothing, Lo and behold I get a text wishing me a good weekend followed by small talk! I am still closed off cos don’t see the point of exciting myself anymore he’s an arse!!! then yesterday I get an email saying…….”don’t think I can get used to this non communication!!!!! this is the same man always telling me to back off when things get too hot for him, the same man telling me he can’t give me what I want! but the moment I get busy with my life he gets all vulnerable and needing to talk to me every minute of every fricking day!! WTF am I suppose to do with this Bull Kyle help meeeeeeeeeeeeee lol lo ๐Ÿ™‚

  1868. #1868 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 22, 2010 - 6:35 pm

    Hello saggi81!

    Based on what info you gave me I can assuage your lip service assumption. If he says straight faced he feels special with you, and you alone, than he is being serious. You should be able to feel how genuine this is…. if he does not come off as sincere when he says this….

    Then he is trying to lie (for whatever) reason. Taurus people do not make good liars. We deal better in truth and nothing but the truth. However we are good at keeping secrets if people ask us to hold onto them…. so if he is trying to be “secretive” for his own motives than this could explain his behavior to a degree.

    Taurus has to compromise to! We just have the worst time at it. If he totally will not compromise to spend more time with you and efforts to “influence” him to do so fail, then there is nothing you can do :(. I’m sorry, but he will be stuck in this frame of mind until he realizes you were an amazing part of his life and he failed to be with you more. I am not saying give up on this front yet! But be realistic, which you have it sounds, about his nature.

    You can bother him more than you think because it will make him feel purposeful. Just make sure it is manly stuff he can help with- not silly little things he will think you are trying to distract him with or that you could easily do.

    You say he is dependable…. well its time you used that to your advantage and made him dependable to your emotions. Yes, you can pretty much tell him (he can’t be this clueless anyways… I hope) that he is letting you down on the emotional aspects of your life. Make this dependability argument but with your feelings- not merely day to day tasks. He will be bothered by this.

    Of course you can never force him to have feelings for you, but he must already based on the interactions you give on this forum. If you can straddle that fine line and make clear to him that some of your emotions depend on that special someone in your life and he is it, then he will feel guilty for getting your hopes up.

    He could take the practical route and say I am not good enough for your needs or he could be a man, step up, and say yeah I’m YOUR man and how do I fix this. A simple, but important choice I know from being one, we can handle this choice even if we try to delay it.

    Toughen up on his ass… sounds like you have been too understanding. Seriously. Hope this helps >_ men relationships here, is that they really give everything they can to invest with that guy! Makes me have new respect. I do not think most guys go half as far it terms of trying to make things work :(. Hope males of all zodiacs get more progressive on this.

    Anyways, his behavior is not out of the ordinary and I am sure it was both a WTF, hey this is cute moment for you.

    Stay closed off for now and let him deal with his own words for a time- that little blurb about him not being able to accept the non communication. It will be a HELLO moment hahahhaha.

    These are all kinda fun, flirty short term tactics though….

    Longer ones are hard to advise and it will require some sort of arbitration between you guys. Like agreeing to call each other using a routine!

    Yes, I am very happy i just thought of this. Ok so you know how Taurus’s love routines? Turn your communication into a routine with him!

    Seriously, that is what my gf and I have done even over our 100 + mile distance! We call each other every second day, but we know not to let things go beyond three days… it can even be a simple FB message or voice- mail.

    Yep- so that is all you need to do at least for the communication part of your problems with him—->

    Shape his mind to accept communicating with him to be routine. How exactly I am not totally sure. Maybe… just tell him that you accept that he cannot talk with you all the time and is busy ( is he, right?) , but he has to have a minimal routine of checking up on you and of him answering to you to remain in a friendship with him.

  1869. #1869 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 22, 2010 - 6:40 pm

    @ Tinker

    Hello darling Tinker :)! Sorry looks like my comment got a bit screwed up by the blog- but read halfway down to where I say:

    “Anyways, his behavior is not out of the ordinary and I am sure it was both a WTF, hey this is cute moment for you. ”

    And from that point down is intended for you :).

    ttyl

  1870. #1870 by Diane on June 22, 2010 - 6:53 pm

    Kyle dear:

    You mentioned something about fights when you Taurus asses feel threatened and if we violate your nature/ principles and donโ€™t seem to care. Well WTF are you joking you canโ€™t be serious! You do that to us women all of the time but yet you come graveling back to us when you are all done being a child with ignoring us and you are lonely then you donโ€™t even offer as much as an apology for being the assholes that you are and for treating us so badly. What you do is you just pretend nothing happened and you want to be all lovey dovey again. It is all about you Kyle dear boy, all about you. I could chew you up and spit your ass out and make your head spin. Donโ€™t come here with your sorry ass lame bullshit. Man up dude and stop acting like a coward and a little kid. Just state the truth your species of that famous coward low self esteem type Taurus that I have spoken about is nothing but a narcissist jerk. At least I can admit my mistakes and face the consequences can you choke choke! I know how to apologize and make up for my mistakes but your Taurus type doesnโ€™t. I have come here lately to understand that there is even a lower species of Taurus than I spoke about previous; he is a sub-species and lower than your type and lies worse than you do. Surprise, I hate surprises. lol As for feeding your ass I wouldnโ€™t waste my time and money feeding you go to Burger King and eat.

  1871. #1871 by Aries23 on June 22, 2010 - 6:55 pm

    Kyle,
    This aries needs some advice about my taurus.
    Alright, so I haven’t seen him in about 2 weeks, because he left for Texas and just came back yesterday evening. I’ve been letting him initiate conversations, which he did–mostly talking about his trip and being funny as usual. And since I hadn’t seen him and we said we would go see avatar the last airbender together, I invited him to go with me (my friends and I already had plans to go see it, but I was being nice) and he signs off of the computer.
    So me being impulsive I texted him saying “well I’ll take your sign off as an answer” and a few seconds later on the computer he signs back on saying that his computer keeps shutting down and he says he would love to go if he can. (he always says this, but I know he has nothing else to do rather than play video games…)
    So we were having a great conversation before I brought up going out to the movies and then he says he’s going to sign off before his computer shuts down again. I said alright, bye, and it’s alright if you can’t go to the movies. He replied saying he’ll text me if he can go, which I don’t think he will, but I’ll see. Then I signed off.
    So does it bother Taurus men, when the girl asks them on a date? And should I just let him ask me out next time?

  1872. #1872 by Diane on June 22, 2010 - 7:16 pm

    Kyle luv Kyle

    I can not believe that the lovely smart women here keep falling for this low species Taurus bullshit. Kyle you are only here because all these lovely women are paying attention to you and it makes you feel good because you are not capable of making yourself feel good. You pray on women to make you feel good is what you do. You think you are some movie star and it makes your ego feel good all these lovely women asking your advice. He is an idiot ladies really read what he is telling you itโ€™s not good advice it is bullshit because it is all about him and how he feels and how you should treat him despite he treats you like garbage. Read ladies really read and hear what he says itโ€™s bullshit. Donโ€™t you dare make your man cookies or dinner make him take you out to a fabulous restaurant and make him spend his money on you instead of you spending all your time and money on him. I would love to meet you in person Kyle you would go home crying because my mouth and words would make you feel so small and make you see how full of yourself you are. I think you pick at me because I am the only woman you have ever met that has the talent to rip your heart out like you have ripped out the hearts of the women you have been involved with. I am better at your game than you are!!!!!!!!!!!!

  1873. #1873 by Tinker on June 22, 2010 - 7:50 pm

    Kyle darlin Kyle!
    Thanks hun, more then happy to let him come to me for now, let’s face it we know it won’t last long, so I may as well enjoy it while it lasts! I have kinda given up expecting this bull to just behave his arse, so just gonna do me and fit him in when I can.
    he has had plenty of time to show me what’s up kyle, and baby girl ain’t getting any younger!!!!lol lol ๐Ÿ™‚

    Sounds like you and gf are doing well, nice to hear, hope you are doing right by her Kyle, as having to put up with you guys is no easy job babe!!!!:-)

    Take care of you and thanks for your input as always. ๐Ÿ™‚

  1874. #1874 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 22, 2010 - 8:07 pm

    Ok wow Diane…. that was the 2 lamest comments ever posted on this forum.

    I think you are bothered I am still here faithfully answering questions because people want to know some things I know.

    Anybody here can take or leave my advice- nobody is forced to accept what I say. I am not paid either.

    What exactly in life are you good at Diane? Hopefully something… And you have not apologized for anything ridiculous you have written so you can take that smartass mouth of yours back where you came from.

    Pisses you off that some of these ladies like a guy perspective and are not buying your advice…. ohhhh what advice we all ask???? Exactly!!!!

    There is no advice to speak of coming from you. You are a loser Diane- face it. You just come on this blog to attack me now. To attack something….

    ****Notice ladies for the past 3 days I have not said anything to Diane nor attacked her and then HERE SHE COMES!!!*****

    What is your problem??? Hmmmmm??? I made peace a second time and you start the same shit again. You truly are a bitch. Notice none of the women here give a shit what you say or leave any messages for you.

    I think there is a word for your type on the internet… yeah its called a troll. You are nothing but a Troll Diane. You post on blogs not to offer anything constructive, but rather to have your “fun”.

    My ego and esteem is fine thank you. I know from your rants you have some trust issues with men…. you really do.

    Diane….. I haven’t picked at you at all since our last tiff over nearly 4-5 days ago…. so what are you smoking?

    Fine I’ll meet you in person. I’ll bring some therapists with me so they can finally give you the help you need. Your life doesn’t have to be this miserable blog experience you seem to keep coming back to.

    And why do you always bring up Burger King? Is that where you work or something? Its always on your mind because you post it all over this blog. LOL its really funny. I actually laugh when you say it b/c I am pretty sure nobody gets what you are talking about. Do you get cranky without burger king? Seriously, what’s the deal?

    ______________________________________________

    @ the other ladies, look I am happy to keep giving advice and I may have to do so privately somewhere else. Zodiac stuff and Taurus stuff really do interest me and I don’t mind helping.

    Take my advice as you want; use it or don’t. I don’t care. I would appreciate some more defensive support though in making Diane go away or at least letting her know you do not think like her.

    Could you please tell her to get a life too? Go take a hike? Because I have been trying to tell her to knock it off, but she hates me, males, and Taurus males …. like they make her lose control.

    Well tell me straight up so I can stay here: do you think Diane is being an irrational troll or does she make valid points about me?

    Try to talk some sense into her. I have tried….

    I might look into a moderator for this blog now… it could really use one. You can thank Diane for that.

  1875. #1875 by SadgeGal on June 22, 2010 - 8:17 pm

    @ Kyle:

    Thanks mate!! I got your contact info and although I don’t quite own an AOL account nor have I chatted on there I’m signing up for one right away ๐Ÿ™‚
    So you’re thinking of a way to meet up with him? That sounds exciting, really LOL. I think I should relay to you all the details first and then I’ll see what you have afterwards. It might be complicated afterall lol

    I just signed up for AIM and I’ve sent you a message. Send me a response so I know I got the right user. My initials are L.B ๐Ÿ™‚

    Merci Beaucoup!

  1876. #1876 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 22, 2010 - 8:21 pm

    @ SadgeGal,

    No problem :). I will check aim and try to respond back to you some point tonight. Gotta get dinner ready, go on a walk, and do a few errands. But sounds good! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Take care.

  1877. #1877 by SadgeGal on June 22, 2010 - 8:39 pm

    @ Kyle:

    You’re right, you haven’t mentioned anything noticeably offensive to this Diane user but she keeps coming back with her insults. I find her comments to you rather immature and rude…. how ironic, since she’s the older one. She’s old enough to be your aunt or something LOL.

    I would ignore her if I were you Kyle… the positivity from the other users (myself included) FAR outweighs the negativity she projects. She’s only making a fool of herself on this blog. I think this one is a lost cause….. there’s no use trying to ‘talk some sense’ into her.

    PS: Where I’m from, there’s a saying that goes, “Silence is the best answer for a fool.” ๐Ÿ™‚

  1878. #1878 by capricorn lady on June 22, 2010 - 9:31 pm

    Something fun i,d like to share ..

    My uncle is a taurus May 5th ..

    My neighbour (wich is also friend )is a taurus may 5th

    And the Taurus my hart belongs to gues what>> may 5th ..

    Those are the only taurus i know ..
    Oops not right my aunt 9th may ,married to the 5th may unle …

    So from what dates are all your,s ๐Ÿ™‚

    smile and let be ๐Ÿ™‚

    sylvia

  1879. #1879 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 23, 2010 - 1:12 am

    Hi Aries23-

    I didn’t overlook your post, will try to give you some advice tonight. Sorry I was a little thrown off as you may understand…

    @ Sadgegal,

    You are totally right. Our positivity outweighs this woman’s negativity. Yeah she could be old enough to be my aunt…. or at least somebody’s mother. But judging by the way she talks- she hasn’t had kids. Nor much family ties for that matter. I just feel sorry for her…. doesn’t excuse her comments though. Thanks for backing me up though :0.

    @ Sylvia

    Hmmmmm maybe that is coincidence, but even if it is, that’s still a very cool pattern :). All of them May 5th? I have read, but couldn’t locate the article just now, that Taurus born around that date have particular attributes as opposed to other Tauruses born a range before or after.

    Are these Tauruses more intellectual than other Taurus born on dif. dates that you know?

    Thanks everyone and will get back to you later- ohh and Sadgegal- I checked on AIM and did not see your message- make sure you typed in roitingjames for my user name. It will be awesome to talk with you :). Cheers

  1880. #1880 by saggi81 on June 23, 2010 - 1:15 am

    tinker

    hey babe i truly admire ya spirits to be keeping ya head up high in this turmoil.. keep it up!
    anything i can offer as the been there-done that old member of the club, please do let me know.

    kyle

    hey guy thanks really for ya effort! i m sure what u have put up so far helped the ladies here a great deal. sometimes there are peeps who cant see eye to eye ya? good to keep ya cool! thats the calm bull i know! anyway libras are one of the nicest peep around, so really glad u have found a gem too!
    its weird how my bull is cuz he is a taurus no doubt but he flirts like a gemini (venus in gemini) so its even harder grasping. i m sure he doesnt lie (most of the time) just that his interpretations sometimes just shock the hella me. he doesnt want to acknowledge our status upfront and then the next moment he quotes us as being together as an item…?! did i do anything wrong by telling him ” no way! we are not considered “together”?” did i piss him off? arghh hope not..

  1881. #1881 by Celeb on June 23, 2010 - 2:31 am

    diane is right taurus guys reek of stink. taurus guys donโ€™t know if they r coming or going and they mostly go instead of come. stupid is what they r.

  1882. #1882 by Celeb on June 23, 2010 - 2:57 am

    kyle u broke my heart want 2 know do u still play with legos? u will never grow up yet here u r on this site giving advice to women probably twice ur age. stupid stupid taurus guys that never grow up go play in the sand & build ur fake castle. u r just so stupid

  1883. #1883 by Celeb on June 23, 2010 - 3:38 am

    sadgegal I looked over the scripts here on this site & saw nothing that indicated the age of any women here not saying any body here is a hag. u know that kyle plays with legos & is & idiot. u must be an idiot 2 because here u r listening 2 his stupid stuff. sadgegal get a life because kyle is & idiot kid & probably much younger than u. stop bashing other women on this site because ur panties r wet for some arsehole taurus man. go play with ur legos kyle stupid u. he is an idiot because i dated him & he is ugly. his mouth is wide and ugly because it needs 2 be that way for the lies that come out of his ugly mouth,. he sucks in bed doesnโ€™t know his stuff lazy lazy is what he is. he only comes here to fill himself up & everyone of u just suck his shit up. all that listen to him r stupid

  1884. #1884 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 23, 2010 - 7:24 am

    @ Celeb

    And you are who exactly? Do I even know you? And the lego question is pretty random… I did have them when I was younger yes, but have since graduated school and do other things. Maybe that is coincidence you would ask that?

    How did I break your heart exactly? That is a pretty random thing to say…. isn’t it? Got anything to back that up?

    Well its a fair bet you are someone from Diane’s network trying to start shit. And judging by how poor your grammar is, either you never learned anything in English class… or you deliberately wrote that way to try to convince me you are someone else.

    Or

    I think you have me confused with some other Kyle guy…. (who is a Taurus too?) Who knows?

    Anyways that makes for a good read. This blog certainly is interesting.

    @ Saggi81

    No I do not think you did anything wrong by saying you are not sure if you are together… he wasn’t clear on what he wanted both of you to be… so how could you be clear on that?

    Do not think he is pissed… more confused like you are.

  1885. #1885 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 23, 2010 - 7:39 am

    Hey everyone looks like Diane is back as Celeb… how cute. And now she claims I slept with her? That’s rich!!!

    LOL wow.

    That’s a new low for you Diane. Alright Diane, Celeb, or whoever else you try to be… you think you are so clever.

    You are about to banned from this blog. I just emailed the host/ author.

    We are tired of your lameness and your lies.

  1886. #1886 by SadgeGal on June 23, 2010 - 9:00 am

    @ Celeb aka Diane:

    You’re not fooling anyone here, so please grow up. A new user called ‘Celeb’ who hasn’t read ALL the comments exchanged in this online ‘argument’ (to know who REALLY is at fault here) SUDDENLY shows up. This ‘Celeb’ user in reality would have NO motive to try to insult other users who happen to be the two putting YOU in your place. In short, the only person who has been displaying how very BITTER she is, is YOU Diane. So nice try DIANE but you’re REALLY stupid if you thought you could pull this silly ‘prank’ off *rolls eyes* ๐Ÿ™‚

    I’m not an idiot for wanting to get opinions from a Taurus guy. It appears that it is YOU who is the idiot for making stupidly generalizing statements about Taurus men. At your age you don’t know any better and that’s very sad. Maybe you’ll have a man if you got up off your fat ass, stopped trolling online and go out into the world to meet guys.

    PS: I may have my panties wet but it’s because I just got back from dancing with a Cancer friend and not because of Kyle :-). Yes, things got hot on the dance floor so there you have it silly little girl. Kyle and I are actually around the same age…. unlike you, an immature, bitter old hag in her 30’s and still manless ๐Ÿ™‚ Now I see why all those Taurus men run away from you…. it’s because you’ve got very deep psychological issues. You’re absolutely pathetic!!!

  1887. #1887 by Tinker on June 23, 2010 - 9:04 am

    saggi81
    Hey you, my veteran! (that’s what we call someone who has been at something for a really loonnnnng time) ๐Ÿ™‚
    Hope you are well my luv, I sure you know as well as I do that this special breed of Bull is all about habbits, so I am fully aware how this story is gonna pan out! he will love me up one minute, push me away the next and the minute after that he will miss me and behave like cats do when they want to be fed, all over you like a rash meoooowing in your ear hole lol lol ๐Ÿ™‚
    Sweety you know the drill you have been doing thia a lot longer then I have, so I can keep my head up cos I know now what to expect from him, I know he will never leave me cos he already stated that to me, so why am I gonna sit around boo hoooing everytime he goes into cave mode of pushes me away cos he is scared of how I make him feel, which is nothing but good babe!!!! CRAZY ARSE BULL!!!!

    I have not seen this arse for about 7 weeks now which is long for me, and by now I would be climbing the walls, but you know what? not even gonna bring it to his attention anymore, he will pop in when he is ready i’m sure, he just better hope i’m still here when he shows up!!!! not playing with this idiot anymore hun, as I said baby girl ain’t getting any younger and my life really does go on with or without him in it!!!
    How are things with you hun, i did read over yout posts and sounds like your still getting some mixed messages from this dude???? with you, not with you, with you , not with you! I get the same thing hun, hope their not twins lol lol, how long do you plan on sticking with him saggi81 seriously?

  1888. #1888 by SadgeGal on June 23, 2010 - 9:10 am

    @ Kyle:

    You’re welcome and it is my pleasure. This silly woman needs to be told off and I see she has taken things to a new low. I’ve already told her my thoughts so she can go F**k off.

    Anyway, moving on ๐Ÿ™‚ I will be checking my AOL account for your response. In the meantime, I will be putting together the details to send you in my next email. Enjoy your night and don’t get too worked up by the mannerless hag.

    Peace

  1889. #1889 by saggi81 on June 23, 2010 - 10:38 am

    tinker

    hi there babe! great logic behind the life goes on with or without him! i had a few relationships in between the 7 years of cuz and have been dating someone seriously till the recent “reunion” with the crazy bull! he did not approve of those guys i was seeing but well, he has got a fiancee mind you! so we are quits in a way. we were supposed to be friends until the occasional emotional outbursts from him, then from me, then from him.. its frustrating isnt it? we are just now fated to be a couple?! hurts to think about it like that but then i knew some 5 years ago that he would never leave her for old times sake/loyalty – to me its a twisted faithfulness or the lack of it, unless she discovers his secret feelings for me.. i have not had any courage to hurt the innocent lady. after all, we were “acicdentally in love” becuz of a wrong timing yeah.. long story and full of drama!

    i cant believe we are still entangled too juz like u question me in disbelief! what the hell i m up to? we keep asking ourselves, to each other but no avail. sticky and long and funny like a sick joke. haha but its bittersweet sometimes.

  1890. #1890 by Tinker on June 23, 2010 - 11:02 am

    saggi81, the only problem I have is we know how slooooooow this breed is, and i fear if we allow them, we can be going around in circles indefinately! mine is 46, he is not about to change the satus quo here but i will be damed if I tag along behind his arse until he decides to fix up and notice I have a fricking pulse!!!!!!:-)

    You are one determined lady I tell ya, I heard a lot of rumours about my bull being engaged to another, but after a confronted him he denied it all and told me off for listening to gossip, but the mere thought of him being involved with another makes me feel phisically sick! and with no concrete proof there is little I can do, so hun I
    do hope this dude is worth all this hassle cos you sound like you really love this man!!

    I’m not entirely sure these men are aware of the emotional energy they cost us, they either dont know or don’t care im still not sure which it is babe! but i wish you all the luck in the world with this bull, he has no idea how lucky he is to have such a dedicated women who loves him despite all his comings and goings!
    keep me posted on your developments babe, would love yours to be a happy ending as there does not seem to be many on this site at all!

    Take care of you hun!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  1891. #1891 by saggi81 on June 23, 2010 - 11:36 am

    tinker

    hey sweetie, thanks! do u live close to each other? 7 weeks is about the time they get ready for the next contact time dunch u think? yeah, its a really long wait, i was pretty sure he has clean forgotten about me when he got engaged, i really vanished! they have pretty good determination and memory too.
    do u think if we take the initiative to date them they would appreciate? i tried doing that n so far so good, he jumped at the opportunity and appeared at my doorstep in less than 1 hour. but dont overdo it and sometimes they are compelled by work or other stuff lest u may feel disppointed dont try unless u can take the stress level building up when they reject us.

  1892. #1892 by Diane on June 23, 2010 - 1:36 pm

    Sorry to disappoint you but no I am not Celeb. Kyle do you really play with legos that is cool if you do. Did you know that the CEO of the lego corporation is a woman.

  1893. #1893 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 23, 2010 - 1:52 pm

    Yes Diane, that is part of my character and I was into legos when I was younger. Not afraid to say it. Yes I did know the CEO of lego was a woman and it is impressive.

    Either way- its old news and shows a desperate attempt by you to try to attack my credibility. Think anybody actually cares? lol, I don’t. My gf doesn’t. These other ladies do not.

    And Sadgegal really put you in your place. You are being a decitful two face person and everyone can see that you and Celeb are the same person. Its sad you can not act your age.

    At any rate, I have contacted Uday to report you as a troll. Your hours/days here are probably numbered.

    You have alienated yourself and in the process actually proved that my character is above you. Thanks. You at least did that service.

    @ Sadgegal-

    Thanks for your strength. I like the fact you are not taking any crap from this woman. Or whatever she is. A nightmare?

    No I haven’t let her get to me. I gave her the three strikes and she used them all up. Now she is hoping I charge and get bent out of shape like some bulls do…. nah. *yawn, drinks coffee*

    —- nahhh I am going to let Uday clear this up. As a fellow Taurus he will find Diane’s character lacking and probably make things right.

    In the mean time, have a good day. Once this business is taken care of, I will get back to answering questions and helping to whoever wants.

    Thanks.

  1894. #1894 by Tinker on June 24, 2010 - 9:57 am

    Kyle darlin Kyle!
    Hope your well and still on hand for when I need your advice hun?????

    I have always defended Diane this you well know, I can tell she has been through so much with Bulls and I can see where her frustration comes from, but Kyle, how would she know you played with legos???? and after talking to her Kyle do you really think she would turn round and say she slept with you?, does that sound like something our Diane would say??? I really don’t think so babe, I think CELEB is someone very differant entirely, not to say Diane is not opinionated and cheeky but I really don’t think she would go as far as to admit knowing you hun if she didn’t, think your barking up the wrong tree baby, but that is just my opinion hun!

  1895. #1895 by udayms on June 24, 2010 - 11:06 am

    Hi All,

    It’s great to see such a nice community interacting here helping each other out. Some of you have been around here for more than year.

    It will be very sad to let flaming disrupt the harmony we have here.

    I am a strong believer of freedom on the Internet. I believe that something said on the internet becomes part of it. It’s the sheer nature of of Internet. So, as a rule, I try not to censor stuff on this blog ever nor block people out of here. I believe everyone has the right to talk freely on the Internet.

    That said…

    @Diane/Celeb: But, the price to such a freedom is a basic social etiquette that we all must follow. That includes respect for each others opinion. Let us not try to ram our opinion down another’s throat. You have stated a point, your opinion. Whether others wants to take it or not is their choice. While I respect your opinion about Taurus guys, I do have to say that using harsh language in replies would only make this place unpleasant.

    So, thats it. Hoping that everyone is getting the point I am trying to get across here, I am not going to block anyone or delete any comment for now. I hope you would all respect that.

    So, let’s try to refrain from flaming around here and continue to reach out and help people who come here for advice/suggestions.

    Peace.

    .Uday

  1896. #1896 by Diane on June 24, 2010 - 12:59 pm

    Kyle luv This is a place to vent did you not read. I am unclear as to what your problem is with just me, but really donโ€™t care. Despite other women here have slammed you and other Taurus men into the ground with their mouths; I seem to be the only one you love picking at. I can say only one thing for you Kyle at least when you are targeting me as your outlet for your incompetent self you are leaving everyone else alone. Oh and Sadgegirl I am not Celeb I do not need to hide behind some fake name nor would I slam another women especially one who is dating one of these special breed types of bull. If you re-read above you will see I said a dozen or more times that I do not dislike all Taurus men only this special breed of Taurus because all they do is think about themselves and that is my opinion which I am entitled too. Also if you read over the entire blog you will notice that there has never been a problem here until Kyle came along and started up on me with his wind bag mouth and lets see this blog has been here since 2007. I did not come here to pick at anyone I came here for the same reason every other woman has and that was for understanding as to what makes this bloody man tick and what his problem is.

  1897. #1897 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 24, 2010 - 2:49 pm

    @ Tinker- alright I am inclined to believe you. Its a really weird comment coming from Celeb. Stalkerish even. And I still do not believe that Diane and Celeb are different people, but I am not investigating

    Claiming on here I slept with a person is very bold and is slander even. Trash talking is one thing, but if I were to say I slept with Diane or Celeb (probably the same person) this place would freak out. That’s just going over the line.

    @ Uday,

    Thanks for that note. I believe your opinion was needed to cool things off. Having freedom of speech is a great right, even on the internet.

    However, some states have started to crack down on users who abuse other’s rights with constant slander. I know in Texas you can be fined or jailed when they track down your IP. Many of you posters are from other countries so that doesn’t matter, but do be aware.

    @Diane

    People are done with you. I am done with you. And I am not your “lov” so you can cut the crap.

    Nobody else here has slammed me, except for Celeb which is a big ? on who she/he is exactly. They tolerated my presence and even asked for advice. That’s all I am here to do.

    Go read the comments Diane and see that besides my first post saying you are bitter, it has been you who has started this attack dialogues over and over and over again. After days where I did not talk to you, mention you. I pretty well left you alone after the first time, but you couldn’t quit.

    And now after Uday said to cool off… here you are again saying “your incompetent self” and what do you call this Diane? Just being friendly? That is picking if I ever read it. And right after his post? That is a very stupid action, wish you thought harder.

    You are being a hypocrite.

    You say you do not dislike all Taurus men, but when one guy besides Uday starts to add things to this blog you lose control. What is your true motive here Diane? Just to vent or to also launch personal attacks?

    Let me get the record straight… is this a place only for women to vent about the Taurus guy (which I am fine with and try to understand, but its the personal attacks that are not OK) or is THIS a place for any person, of any sex, of any age, and of zodiac to write to?

    I am not asking for your opinion to my question above Diane, we already know it. I want to know from the other women on this blog and from Uday.

    Because if the concensus is that others like me (male and Taurus, and younger) are not welcome then I will leave.

    You can then celebrate that victory Diane in this “game” of yours which you claim you are better at me. I got better things to worry about besides a petty woman scoring points on a zodiac… get real! GROW UP.

  1898. #1898 by Diane on June 24, 2010 - 5:26 pm

    To everyone unless I log out or write something Window7 does not update this blog for me when others write because it is RSS mode and not Beta that is why what I wrote came after Kyles, Tinkers, and then Udayms. I didnโ€™t log out after I made the last comment because I do a lot of work on the computer and when I get up I leave it exactly where it is at the time. I am not looking to be right here because I am not always right however this type of special Taurus man that I have been speaking about always wants to be right and will rebut anything he can not see, touch, smell, taste or hear to what he feels is right in his tiny mind. You can love him, adore him, and make him the center of your world, but where is he when you need him on your terms? Well ladies, he is off doing his thing and canโ€™t be bothered that is where he is and that says to me we; as ladies that have worshiped him; come second to what he wants in the moment. We can sit around and wait and we have cried, but do you think he is sitting around waiting for you? Why of course not he is off doing what makes him feel good in the moment why do you think he doesnโ€™t call you for days or weeks on end. If any of you ladies donโ€™t like my opinion I am open to listen, but however I will not listen to one of these special breed of Taurus men that I have spoken about especially when he is only a scant 24 years old. Not all Taurus men are like what I have talked about here only the breed that are so insecure and have such low self-esteem and who always think they are right is the type I am talking about. They have a hard time comprehending the opinions or thoughts or feels of others especially the women that have loved and adored them as they blaze through life leaving a trail of broken hearts because they just didnโ€™t get it or were slower than a turtle to understand it then want to come back after the mess they have made. Real men do not act like this they really donโ€™t. SadgeGal no offense, but you havenโ€™t even met this Taurus man of yours, so why do you come at me or this Celeb girl who claims to have dated this Kyle person? Your situation is quite unique you stated and you are only on a social networking site with him. Women who have come here have been romantically, sexually, emotionally, and mentally involved with this breed of Taurus man, yet here you come trying to slam me up against the wall and accusing me of being someone I am not. Donโ€™t answer, just think about it. Just as Tinker said and I know Tinker personally and I have no reason to lie to her and I would never claim to have been romantically involved with Kyle and I had no idea he played with legos really, but it is cute. I re-read what Celeb said and I think Kyle is running because he knows who it is! If you donโ€™t like my point of view Sadgegirl then just go about your business and ignore what I say because as Udaymus said this is a free world and he respect the Internet as being a free world although he cautioned me as far as tact and I respect his wishes because this is his personal blog which he has opened for anyone to vent or state their business. There are no terms or conditions on this blog because it is personally owned and Udaymus has allowed anyone that comes here to say what they please, but I will respect his wished as for my mouth because he owns this blog. Udaymus is a Taurus but I can tell he is not like the type of Taurus man I speak about or else he would have deleted this blog in its entirety.

  1899. #1899 by Taurus Guy (Kyle) on June 24, 2010 - 8:09 pm

    I wish you could write on this blog more like this comment above Diane… you make better sense and are not on an attacking rampage.

    Took you a over a week and a half to admit you have been bad mouthing. Congrats on coming to terms. At least you respect Uday’s wishes…. for now.

    By the world’s standards: 16 is an adult age. In America, it starts at 18. If this country asks us young people including women to go to war at this age and do all the adult work than despite us being new on the scene, we are going to earn our respect.

    Does not matter Diane that you call me a scant 24 year old. If anything, I can call you a closed minded 30 something year old. At the end of the day, we are both adults and are forced to accept responsibilities for our actions, even on a mere blog.

    You have freedom to voice your opinions Diane on this blog- but its how you do it that matters. You can make it your mission to dispute whatever I say here, although aren’t you wasting your time when you could be out meeting guys? Sounds like you are single and have been for a while.

    Do us a favor and get off your high horse. You like to talk about this special breed of Taurus man…. well Diane, time for a little shock to your being- you are a SPECIAL breed of a woman who can not trust the world, is vengeful, and doesn’t understand the concept of coexisting.

    If you were not this special woman you would have left this blog and done something else with your life. Instead you have devoted yourself to “RESCUING” all these lady bloggers who are dating a Taurus.

    They are looking for answers, information. Not some lady who hates the world. I am amazed Tinker respects you, but maybe she is a very kind, trusting person. Whatever I do not really care about that.

    Anyways, you think they really need you here Diane? No- this is just where you come to play mind games. Do they need me here? Once again, no. But I probably give a lot of uniqueness to this blog.

    Perhaps they do not need me here, but none of them have said that yet, in fact they have directly asked me for my opinions. Hey great, that’s cool, I am happy to be requested for some advice. Does it complete my ego or self esteem? FROM A BLOG? Are you kidding? I would have killed myself by now if I was pathetic enough to be reliant on a blog for my self esteem. That is the most ridiculous notion you have ever stated here Diane.

    As for this Celeb character- who knows what her deal is. She probably does know who I am, I have a good guess as to who she is, one of two people. The odds of her discovering this blog are astronomical if indeed it isn’t you Diane. The more plausible answer is that it was you Diane, but then again… you are so reckless and bold in what you say…. why pretend to be someone else hmmmmm?

    Her mission is a smear campaign clearly. Or she could have looked up one of the more personal pieces of information I gave on this blog to discover that yes indeed I was into legos. That is not a lie and up until college that was one of my favorite things. Guess it adds more character than detracts. My current gf and others never care really and find it cute. If I can admit to it and not be ashamed of it… not much of an attack is it Celeb? And the claim I had sex with you is probably made up because I have only had sex with about 10 women in my whole life. 4 of them solid gfs the other 6 friends with benefits. This over a span of about 7 years. Nobody can verify that so its useless information anyways, just as useless as you Celeb trying to slander me. All of those relationships ended on good terms, still friends with them, except for one. But I already asked her the other day if she was attacking me on a blog. She laughed at that and said no she is writing her thesis. Doubt she has time for this crap.

    The grammar on Celeb’s posts were so bad it was probably intentional to covering up a writing style. That’s my theory. Her posts were retarded and with awful syntax. lol I have seen 10 year olds write better with more sentence structure.

    Uday is in the loop now so any troll posts are likely to be deleted.

    My suggestion to you Diane is to back off of me and if you have something you disagree with- that I have written – then try to state it in a factual way. Write like somebody we can respect.

    Going on these long personal attacks like you do isn’t going to win anybody’s respect Diane. Its your choice, be a contributor to the blog or be a troll. Uday mentioned you specifically in his posting…. so he is observing what you say now.

    But on the other hand… if you can’t settle for just being a good contributor like the rest of us Diane… go for it! Open season! But this time your posts will be deleted and you will be banned. And nobody will miss you. Don’t take my word for it, ask Uday. Pick your next contributions carefully Diane or else they could be your last.

    And just like the last time, I am going to completely leave you alone. You are useless to me anyways. More a distraction. You care to show some restraint? Prove to me a 30 something year old can do this. Prove to yourself.

    This is like the 4th time I am trying to make a truce here- you going to fuck it up again Diane? We’re waiting…

    @Sadgegal- hey I checked on aim- haven’t seen you yet or your messages. Hope everything is ok. Couldn’t blame you for not coming to this blog right now. The original point of this blog has been all but lost right now.

    What do you think?

  1900. #1900 by saggi girl on June 24, 2010 - 8:18 pm

    “You can love him, adore him, and make him the center of your world, but where is he when you need him on your terms? Well ladies, he is off doing his thing and canโ€™t be bothered that is where he is and that says to me we; as ladies that have worshiped him; come second to what he wants in the moment. We can sit around and wait and we have cried, but do you think he is sitting around waiting for you? Why of course not he is off doing what makes him feel good in the moment why do you think he doesnโ€™t call you for days or weeks on end.”

    Right to the point, Diane. My story proved that all along as i was exactly like that person when i dated my bull..as i thought if i was like this to him, he will appreciated and will return the love.. but i was so wrong. It was totally opposite, he took it for granted, which is the hurtest part when the relationship ended all of the sudden, which makes you feel that you are being used and just a side girl all along.. Ladies, always, for me, going foward it will be I first, the whoever comes later.

    Right now, even making more sense to me. I admit that people from different astrology sign have different traits in their personality. but in general, if a person loves you, he won’t ignore you, he won’t leave you alone for days or weeks without contacting you..

    I think, sometimes, we are too into astrology and trying to find something to justify their behavior in a way that we can avoid the negative feelings as that is what i did.. but i learned, i won’t let ” afraid of the truth” blinded my judgement..

    that is all i want to say..

  1901. #1901 by Diane on June 24, 2010 - 11:57 pm

    Saggi Girl

    I know how your heart feels just as so many other women who have come and gone on this blog know how your heart feels. I have allowed my bull to call me here recently, but wonโ€™t state how that came about. I have learned something about him the past few days that has plastered me to the wall. It is so sick that I canโ€™t even mention it on here. Some men as well as women move about upon this earth and others have no idea what is going on inside their brains because they are always pretending to be someone they really arenโ€™t and thinking thoughts that would make you barf. You know what you might really like to do Saggi study people and read about human behavior and you would be fascinated although it may corrupt your thoughts via men in ways if you can not understand that all men are not created equal in their behavior. Astrology only lends a hand in certain factors for both male and female, but after that it is up to the individual to behave or conduct themselves accordingly. Letโ€™s take Kyle for instance he is what is called an antagonizer and competitive and his strategy is to win; I know this by his words. His strategy here is to get me thrown off this blog so that he can fill up with himself and I donโ€™t think I will ever get thrown off. Saggi when you have nothing else to do on a beautiful summer day read up on human behavior it will blow your mind. Let me take something else Kyle said and rip it apart for you because I am very analytical and this is what you will learn if you read about human behavior.

    Here is what Kyle wrote gloating about on numerous occasions: โ€œI have only had sex with about 10 women in my whole life. 4 of them solid gfs the other 6 friends with benefits. This over a span of about 7 years.โ€

    Ok here goes first of all he is keeping tabs on how many girls he has scored with which is 10, little boys keep score not men. He is 24 years old and if we go back 7 years that would have made him 16 or 17 depending on the time of his first sexual encounter since he is a Taurus and not a Cappy. He stated that 6 of those 10 girls were friends with benefits (ladies he used 6 girls for his own sexual satisfaction even if they agreed and that in its self should tell you a great deal about his charture which is self enduljent and reckless.) Real men donโ€™t have friends with benefits only selfish slutty men and little minded boys with no feelings have friends with benefits. Four of the 10 girls he stated he had an interest in, but we women here have no idea how those relationships panned out or how they ended or why they ended, but knowing who I am and what I know I can give an educated guess and be very close.

    It is as I stated before really listen to them even when they are lying because they told you something different days or even a weeks before. Like I said all Taurus men do not have an agenda some just get lost or caught up in work or get caught up with their children or they live a distance that does not allow them to be with you even though they really love you and want to be with you, but please if they live 10 or even 20 minutes from you and donโ€™t have children or elderly parents that they are taking care of, but really in essences just donโ€™t have much of a life listen to them and they will show their true colors over and over all you have to do ladies is listen and hear what spews from their mouths.

  1902. #1902 by Taurus Guy on June 25, 2010 - 2:24 am

    Looks like you have chosen to continue down the same path Diane.

    Your motor mouth just spews out relentless hypothetical nonsense all day long.

    Nobody is buying what you say and you can not prove anything.

    And as far as sexual relations go I can count a number because nearly the majority of mine have been long term.

    Ohh and like you haven’t ever had one night stands Diane- you are trying to compare yourself to me by saying you are monogamous with one man or some bullshit like that?

    Or better yet you are a perfect virgin and can judge at everyone else at the age of 30 something? LOL you are so full of shit right now.

    I told you like 5 hours ago- get off your high horse. You have nothing to gain here, really you only have lost your time, energy, and guess what….

    You are still a bitter person. Your attacks prove that.

    Ohhh right Diane- I gave a number to win! Yes to win!… ohhh wait you just made that up. I gave a number that has only relevance to me. Do I get a prize for revealing this information… uhhh let me think… ohhh right- your continued assaults… yeah that’s about the gist of it.

    Whatever I say from this point you will keep attacking me and being the hypocrite. By that I clearly mean you are picking on me at this point because you have nothing else going on good in your life. All this is to you is game. Or maybe you take it way too serious. Either way- you suck.

    No Diane, you are truly the only one desperately craving a “victory” in here.

    You are probably single, unhappy, bitter, and stupid for wasting your time and everyone else s’ time.

    I just got back from a 2 hour bike ride hoping to see that this blog has FINALLY progressed past this… but nope.

    Diane you FUCKED it up again. *shakes head*

    Congratulations Diane- I crown you the biggest loser on a blog to ever try a full scale written assault on a ……

    ….. wait for it…. on a ZODIAC!!!

    And on a person of that zodiac. You are a moron. Get a life. And try to think of food other than Burger King- my god- are you brainwashed or something? Get help. Fast food is bad for your health.

    I am going to email Uday again and report you as a troll. I am leaving this blog now. Because Uday has a lot of sense he will put you on a leash so tight you will find new meaning to the word censorship.

    Or he will just kick you.

    I really don’t care either way, I just hope he maintains the integrity of his blog and realizes you are a troll who will never stop eating, never stop attacking, and never stop hating on a zodiac. For God’s SAKE- a ZODIAC.

    This is a warning to all other male Taurus’s!!! If you see Diane- on this blog or in real life- RUNNNNNNNN
    RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN RUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

    She is insane. You have been warned!

    And don’t go to Burger King- she is probably lurking there! LOL. I do enjoy ending this on a funny note. A tribute to you Diane!

    Now that you have won your blog victory- guess you can return to real life…. ohhhhhhhh opppsss sorry about that. Ouch. I wasn’t trying to be mean, but you probably do not have one….. ouch. Errrr you might just want to win some more diatribes on other blogs… to errr build up your blog reputation. Yeah… that’s probably your calling in life.

    I am going back to my real life Diane, which is going very well right now. Thanks for proving to me that just when you thought you read it all… I can meet someone of your abysmal quality and character.

    Just sad…

    _______________________________________________

  1903. #1903 by Taurus Guy on June 25, 2010 - 2:26 am

    @ The other ladies. Hey it was great talking with you guys while it lasted. Thanks for sharing some information with me and giving me advice to. I apologize things had to end this way.

    I do not see that my time was wasted with you all and it was a fun experience.

    If you want some more advice I have set up a gmail account in tribute to Diane- this email will serve as a reminder that Diane’s attempt to own this blog failed.

    The email is: taurusguyemail.dianefree@gmail.com

    You can also reach me on AIM- type screen name “roitingjames”.

    Ohhh and it goes without saying, Diane will not be welcome there. I have my spam filter ready to go and the second Diane (or Celeb) tries to email nonsense to me she will be blocked and I will return to this blog to post her emails to me- forever proving she is a troll.

    Its a temporary email and once I know who you are we will work on another way to communicate because I anticipate Diane will be pathetic enough to try to spam me. I mean with with dianefree in the email- she probably can not restrain herself. LOL

    Ultimately I will probably create my own small blog for Taurus guy zodiac.

    Uday has inspired me to do just that. And I have the knowledge, resources, and power to do just that. I will keep in contact with Uday and use his advice if he let’s me.

    As a fellow Taurus male- I am sure we can reach some partnership.

    I sincerely apologize to you, Uday for how this blog has become. I do blame myself for trying to stick up against a troll like Diane. That just used up space on your blog which is a really cool blog by the way :).

    And I also thank you Uday for letting me share my thoughts and show the other perspective… from the Taurus perspective…. to those interested.

    Hope you continue to do what is right and honorable and do not be afraid to stand up to someone like Diane… she is merely a troll on your blog. Nobody will miss her.

    Thanks Tinker, Saggi, Aries23, especially Sadgegal ๐Ÿ˜‰ (your’re awesome), Capricornlady, and to any others I spoke with.

    Best wishes you fine ladies with your guys, Taurus or not, and that you can find some solitude, understanding, and happiness. You are way cool.

    Really enjoy chatting with you and hope you are curious enough to try my email or by another means. Hope you understand my time is now wasted here because of one person. I think you understand.

    Bye.

  1904. #1904 by SadgeGal on June 25, 2010 - 8:55 am

    @ Diane:
    You may want to quit with labelling of Taurus men as a ‘special breed of bull’. There’s no proof anyway that this ‘special breed’ is the person I was dating. Yes we have not met yet, but unlike you I like to take my time to analyze/study the behaviours of potential partners before I let them into my heart, hence my presence on this blog and without the unnecessary bitter tone in comments I post :-/. I found it amazing how a lot of Taurus description fits him, but I must warn you that he is NOT the typical Taurus male and you don’t know much about him, save for the little details I posted on here (and for a reason) so don’t go jumping to unnecessary conclusions in order to make yourself feel better.
    There may not have been a problem until Kyle came along, but methinks the problem only began when YOU started throwing names around. That’s my honest opinion. You should own up to your faults and stop placing the blame on others who aren’t at fault. I’m a fair person and am known for being the peacemaker, which is what I initially tried to do but you came along attacking me with insults. Even after Kyle had apologized, you came back with more insults and YET you continue to do so. Kyle may be a ‘scant 24yr old’ to you, but he’s obviously far more mature than you are. It’s shameful to think you’re actually older than both of us… very shameful. What I fail to understand is WHY you waste your time coming on a blog to vent about a man who you don’t wish to be with :-/ but that is not my business. I see MANY of you ladies doing this and I just shake my head *rolls eyes*. If someone isn’t making you happy in a relationship it JUST may be time to move on. No one is ‘sitting and waiting around’ but YOU, while these men are off attending to their own lives and not shedding a damn sweat. Methinks you are the ones making yourselves unhappy but that’s my opinion.

    PS: Kyle writing about the number of people he’s slept with is NOT gloating. How is giving a point to counter a false claim ‘gloating’? Gosh! Grow up Diane. WHY IS IT YOUR BUSINESS, THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE HE’S SLEPT WITH? You’re just being absolutely rude and uncouth. You wrote that “real men don’t have friends with benefits… only sluts do”. Really? Who made you the moral authority and what does that make the women (how come you made no mention about them)? Do you know the details of these people’s ‘arrangements’ to jump to conclusions anyway? Way to go making useless generalizations…. you FAIL miserably with your attempt at being ‘Judge Diane’.

    Geez, I’m done with you. I find you to be reasonably pathetic :-/

  1905. #1905 by SadgeGal on June 25, 2010 - 8:58 am

    @ Taurus Guy

    So sorry to see you go ๐Ÿ˜ฆ You’ve been nothing but nice, until the troll ruined everything. It’s nice to see that Uday made a post here in an attempt to settle matters, but apparently the troll is right back to her games. Not for one second do I think that this Celeb poster is a different poster… nice trick to change writing styles though LOL.
    Anyway, whatever the deal here is I don’t think it’s worth wasting too much time on…. so I don’t blame you for leaving. A troll is a troll is a troll and people hardly change.

    I think I’ll just have to send you an email since you didn’t receive my IM. I did send you one yesterday but you didn’t receive it. You may have to forgive my incompetency in using this AIM chatting system LOL ๐Ÿ˜› It is my first time using it. Anyway, thanks for all your help and I look forward to corresponding with you via chat or via email ๐Ÿ™‚

    ~Peace be unto you.

  1906. #1906 by GemWoman on June 25, 2010 - 9:47 pm

    WOW reading my old posts……I was in bad shape LMAO

    But I stuck to my guns and we are still friends.

    So here I am approx year later. We still communicate. We havent seen each other in a very long time. Anything more just wont work out because of the distance.

    I have ventured out and tried to date other guys (Im sure he has met other gals) but I just cant shake my feelings. He did admit that they are mutual. ๐Ÿ™‚

    We will see each other soon (same weekend we met a year ago, it wasnt planned that way). It will be nice to see him. I want to believe I am wearing him down LOL

    One thing is for sure, we will be lifelong friends. Besides that, who knows what the future holds.

  1907. #1907 by GemWoman on June 25, 2010 - 9:53 pm

    Woops, guess I should have read the comments the past few days. Looks like the harmony from before is barely hanging on.

    I will just read now…..

  1908. #1908 by saggi81 on June 28, 2010 - 6:26 am

    sadgegal

    hey babe! dont mean to start a war girl but i just wanted to say i really beg to differ about the “If someone isnโ€™t making you happy in a relationship it JUST may be time to move on. ” i dont know about other ladies but for me at least, this place is somewhere i share the things that i found mind boggling or troubling, or maybe just to garner some support as we move on in our lives? i guess some of us need a place to talk things out and if u put it bluntly “vent”.. many a times we straighten things out, we find support for ourselves our pals in that way. believe me, no one would really want to stay in a bad relationship if only we could help it! no bad feelings dear, just my thoughts.

    gemwoman

    hey lady.. happy to know u have found a path to take, suited for both of u! i found it hard to be friends but i m learning. if he is not talking about his feelings to me, i swallow my feelings and words up. sometimes i m not even sure if he is still feeling the same but i guess future will plan itself? how do u talk about deeper things with him if he seems so comfortable with telepathy or what not?

  1909. #1909 by good karma on June 28, 2010 - 5:52 pm

    Hello there!

    Well I have to say i have spent a good two weeks intermittently reviewing and reading almost all of what has been said here. Gosh I have so much to add. I happen to be a libra female. Dating a taurus for about two months. He is twenty two, I am almost twenty myself. We are both in college. SO much to say so little time. Ladies I went through almost all of what you have but it really seems there is a method to this madness. I am short on time, as i have summer classes, but i will be back this evening. You all seem to be very supportive people. I found myself reading this when I would need some sort of guidance and finally just sucked it up and here i am. Ladies, (and gentleman) I have some catching up to do as I have not been able to read any posts for about a week. But i think I can shed a little light on these men.

    Have a great day until then…

  1910. #1910 by Tinker on June 28, 2010 - 6:50 pm

    Hi good karma!
    Could really do with a bit of that right now lol lol ๐Ÿ™‚ well any light you can shed hun will be much appreciated here, i’ll be damned if I can work the buggers out! I just decided that some men were just born to give trouble, as my dear ma always tells me! I’m inclined to just believe her theory right now cos girl is exhausted! the constant two steps forward and three back it stating to give me travel sickness! and ignoring his sorry arse just seems to bring out his soppy vulnerable side, by which time I just want to bitch slap him cos it does my head in! right now we are playing telephone tag! you know, when i call him and he don’t answer, then he calls me and I don’t answer!!!! what a hoot!!!!!(NOT!!!!) he is now awaiting my call….ain;t gonna happen, in too much of a good mood now to let him spoil it in the first three words of his next conversation!

    So yes some light would be good here! ๐Ÿ™‚

  1911. #1911 by SadgeGal on June 29, 2010 - 12:08 am

    @ Saggigal:

    No worries and no offense taken :-). We’re all entitled to our opinions… that just happens to be mine. My philosophy on life in general is that we should do whatever makes us comfortable and happy… most of the time we hold the power to remove ourselves from unhappy situations.

  1912. #1912 by good karma on June 29, 2010 - 4:56 am

    Oh wow. Even as I am new I am sad to see Kyle is gone and the foundation otherwise shaken a bit. I had some reading…Otherwise ladies you are right that you shouldn’t put up with a man’s nonsense. Relationships are two way streets, and sadge girl you are right if someone doesn’t do the job move on. Its hard but the way i see it and it almost ALWAYS rings true…when one door closes five more open. There are so many opportunities awaiting you out there, don’t pass them up over a man that basically will eventually equal a blip in your life.

    However. I am not necessarily official with this young man yet as can be guessed. But I prefer it this way. Both of us come from the mindset that you never know where you are going to be tomorrow. People change, feelings change. Why add a title? We both know we care about eachother sincerely.

    Early on I learned the taurean temperament. My first infatuation (dare not call it love i was much younger than i am even now) was a taurus. It was a hellish tumultuous year and a half long on/off relationship. He was needy, a lying, selfish, sleazy, obsessed person. He had emotional instability, would freak if I didnโ€™t talk to him(a response he only got when he would ignore me) and proposed to me eventually. He was extremely funny and very outgoing unlike most tauruses and I found that refreshing but he loved female attention. One of the girls he would try and get with behind my back is now one of my best friends after years later we discovered this on accident haha. I swore I would never date another taurus. That was until this one came along. We met in a college class. I can say that he was one that definately drew my curiosity even when i first heard him speak. He was the type who would keep to himself in the back, watch, listen, observe, speak when addressed. He had a fellow classmate he got along quite well with but that was pretty much it. Me being a talkative libra noticed this and I would occasionally ask him a class related question or two and that was that. He would look at me awkwardly at times so i figured to just talk to others in the class, plus I was dating in a somewhat casual relationship and had my plate full so to speak… Fast forward a few months( i had a 2 month relationship in this time, yes i know im such a libra but it was the first official one i had had in almost a year. That was the longest i had been without a bf, secondly it was the shortest relaitonship i have EVER had, go figure), he began to make more small talk. Asking me odd cute little questions “What are you eating?” I started to catch on. There was another male classmate i had been somewhat involved with weeks before, i discontinued that fling and perhaps this was evident because the less i talked to this other gentleman the more i would hear from my taurus.

    Eventually we would walk out after class together and learn about eachother, etc. I had begun to get a few small compliments from him. He added me on facebook and initiated another conversation with one of his odd cute comments. One day as we were driving away we caught eachother at a stoplight and he just rolled down his window and told me he was going to get lunch and asked if i would like to join him. And so it started. He got my number that day. We would meet for lunch a few times after class and once he even invited our classmate i had been involved with, with us. A tad awkward but not bad, the gentleman was still tryin to put the moves on me behind the scenes but i was far past that chapter. He would tell me how he looked forward to hearing from me and could get used to my company and often planned our meetings. We went to the movies, got a few late night, post-work meals(we both work late usually) and would hang out. He shares many of the ideals I have and is very open minded and calm with a positive outlook on life. Its so refreshing. One day (this is after a few weeks) he told me he had made me something. This was a complete surprise as I had wondered for weeks what it was he thought of the situation and this was the first hint. And the funniest thing was I had already begun to make him something, a woven hemp bracelet. And I shit you not what had he made for me? An anklet which he had made on a trip to so-cal. He had a friend teach him, he had noticed the colors of the bracelets I wore and made one to match. So despite never having any contact besides platonic I took a chance and kissed him on the cheek in gratitude. I gave him his later on. (Sidenote: I remember this night he casually asked what I thought of marriageโ€ฆ)He began to invite me over and I met his sister(which apparently he had told her much about me to my surprise) In the end He kissed me almost a MONTH after we began spending time with one another. And it was the most sensual, passionate type kiss I can even begin to describe here. We just FELT eachother and knewโ€ฆ. After this we began acting as a couple and remain unofficial even nowโ€ฆ..
    HOWEVER, what do you know it was shortly after this he began texting less, abruptly stopping conversations even so and even going a one or two days without hearing from him. I immediately felt there was someone else. I did not mind this as I am realistic and have an open mind and at the time was distracted(mentally by a few nice young men) but it was then I found this thread. And oh how it saved me!!! I would just wait. Keep myself occupied. Keep in mind it has only happened a few times and never longer than two days fortunately I would still remain patient. When I would hear from him I would act as if nothing happened. I even would refrain from responding at times. I must thank you all for the value this forum has had. All of you with all of your experiences and stories ladies, and kyle with his firsthand insight. I have been out with his family and went on a double date with his brother and his fiancรฉ and we all get along great. I have met his friends and they are wonderful and creative and close-knit. He has not yet met my family or many friends but we both look forward to arranging it when my fam has time. He rubs my feet, is attuned to what I want and I can tell he wants to be there and make me happy as much as I would like to for him. Everything is give and take, equal, how I like it. At first I noticed he was a bit more frugal with his money and me but now he is less so. We gladly take turns paying, etc. I thought he wouldnโ€™t kiss me or make a move for so long because he wasnโ€™t interested; I thought he would ignore me because I annoyed him somehow, I thought he didnโ€™t want to sleep with me because he was sleeping with someone else, I thought his silence after I stalled one of his runs meant he was frustrated. I admit I would take things wrong a lot, after all they are so hard to comprehend at times. But thanks to you all I would wait to see. Never get mad or judge or even bring it up mostly. Or at times when the moment was just right I would just ask. All of my concerns had rather logical answers. After a long silent spell he might say โ€œI sort of miss being around youโ€ and just today I got a simple text saying โ€œyouโ€™re beautifulโ€ simple things, I might not hear from him again tonight but I get it. After almost two months I can say we finally took another step. I understand now. It takes getting used to. He admits he can get easily burnt out in relationships as can I and we accept that. Neither of us really likes having needy attached significant others. But somehow its like we know this is different. He even told me he canโ€™t find something he doesnโ€™t like about me. About why it took him so long to approach me in class, how he hope he would ge the chance to date me(as I did with him) how he knows we are growing closer. He didnโ€™t want to sleep with me because he didnโ€™t want it to be just physical and burn out, he wanted me to appreciate him more than that. I really do. What he doesnโ€™t know is that one of my most recent poetic creations he admires stems from the inspiration I get from him. He is the type of man who wonโ€™t take my shit, and he knows I wonโ€™t take his, who can take a joke and dish em out. Muscular and strong. But somehow he is one of the most gentle, caring, sweet, unselfish, funny, sensual men I have met. I do not love him but I appreciate him greatly.
    While I donโ€™t know it all or what to expect I do know he might toss me another lemon soon. But I can handle it.
    SORRY ABOUT THE NOVEL :/

  1913. #1913 by good karma on June 29, 2010 - 5:04 am

    Tinker-

    Yes! That is the right mindset. I can’t tell you how much i find it an injustice to be ignored. It frustrates me so much. I wanted to tell him i wouldnt take it. But that was because i thought it was coming from a bad/ignorant place. If he is calling you back just count it as an unfortunate coincidence. YOu must not answer back until he pays a little attention. Willpower ladies! You’re clearly worth it. He will definately come around i bet.

  1914. #1914 by SadgeGal on June 29, 2010 - 6:14 am

    Ooops! LOL my former response was to Saggi81, but somehow I’d written Saggigal haha. My bad Saggi.

    @ Good Karma:
    Very well written NOVEL LOL and I do like these looong notes, as long as they have very interesting contents, which yours does :-). It’s a good thing you came across this blog now… just when you’re starting to take things to the next level. Now, I’m no expert on Taurus men (I initially took interest when I began talking to one a few months ago) but I’ve learnt a LOT about Taurus men within the past few months.
    It seems your Taurus is starting to display the ‘hot and cold’ syndrome… one in which he disappears (cold) and reappears (hot) all of a sudden LOL. I also noticed that with my Taurus. This may or may not be a common Taurus trait, but one you may have to get used to… be patient for as long as he’s worthy of it. They usually will come around on their own time and when they’re (mentally) prepared to ‘face the world again’. All I can advise at this point is to take things one day at a time and just see how things go… have fun along the way though and cherish each moment you have together :-). Who knows? You both might end up married and with 20 kids a few years from now LOL ๐Ÿ˜›

    ~Peace

    PS: Taurus Man aka Kyle gave an email address by which he can be reached, in his last post. I don’t think he’ll be back for a little while until the sea has calmed a bit ๐Ÿ˜‰
    We’ll get there someday and hopefully soon…

  1915. #1915 by Aries23 on June 30, 2010 - 1:04 am

    Hello persons of this blog,

    It’s been a while since I came back here, well for me at least. I come back with a great update. My taurus and I finally got to hang out on Friday, and it was a lot of fun. I finally got fed up with waiting for him to ask me out, so I informed him that I was going to go to his house and we were going to watch the world cup together. And surprisingly he said okay and after the world cup we just lazed about and then we went to the movies. Toy Story 3 is amazing just so you guys know.

    Since going out with him, I have reigned in my Aries temperment and impatience and I have started cherishing the moments I have with people more. These guys are great to be around if you meet the right ones, but require a lot of patience. He’ll come around when it’s convenient or he is ready to. This site has helped me and keeping my relationship with my Taurus in tact, and I love reading about other people and what they’re going through, because it relates to me and teaches me what I should and shouldn’t do in the relationship. And for all of you out there, I wish you good luck. ๐Ÿ˜€

  1916. #1916 by good karma on June 30, 2010 - 6:09 am

    Sadge Gal: I will definately keep my posts shorter now. And yeah I am no expert either. How often does your taurus have his retreats? Like the hot and cold. Mine has them intermittently, about once a week now. And cold is really just not hearing from him, nothing harsh.

    Aries 23: Thats really great ๐Ÿ™‚ I actually wanted to see that movie…haha. I agree these posts really help. I think at times its important for us to initiate some communication and plans. Whats the worse that can happen? As long as we don’t do it too much. Glad to see the positive outlook also.

    And Saggi girl: I remember you said something along the lines of you can give your man everything but where is her on your terms when you need him…I am wondering about that. I have not really expressed any need at all so far emotionally or mentally(except for the truth) Is this a problem area? I never really thought about that…we are noth rather jovial, fun-loving people.

    And as i thought yesterday i didn’t hear back from him after the sweet text. Like today I initiated contact just to say good afternoon, we talked and he told me he has thought of me and he wants us to go to the lake and enjoy the summer sunshine with the other couples. He is chilling with his friends right now. Really its all getting to be second nature. I have no expectations of what will happen. There are times when i act the same, i realized this, it will take me a while to answer just because its not really my priority. It seems the key with these men is casual. As long as it stays casual they keep coming back. I have noticed he will say some profound things and really open up. I could tell he really appreciated our intimacy the other night. Neither of us has or has needed to bring it up since…now i guess i am just thinkin its on my shoulders. I am very sexual, if i want to be intimate i risk possibly painting the picture thats all i want or dampening our other strong areas, and if i refrain from it i am not necessarily getting my wants met, or him thinking i wasn’t pleased. EH…

  1917. #1917 by Diane on June 30, 2010 - 4:01 pm

    Been reading over the latest post here and it dawned on me, maybe some women just have better coping skills than others when it come to the bull. Also some women donโ€™t mind that they seem to disappear for weeks on end so how do the ones that canโ€™t deal with that type of behavior suppose to act because really their behavior is not like a normal mans. Do you ladies that cope with their behavior never feel any kind of irritation or ever feel as if you come second to his needs? I absolutely refuse to go back into that realm with mine, so I have cast him off completely. He made me feel second and like I was his toy.

  1918. #1918 by GemWoman on June 30, 2010 - 6:19 pm

    @saggi81

    I believe on my end the friends things is easier because he lives so far away. If I had to see him or be near him I dont think I could be this calm about it. I dated other people and didnt try to hide it from him. He often tells me that my honesty is one of the things he likes about me the most. ๐Ÿ™‚

    As far as discussing deeper things with him, what I have found is that Im honest with MY feelings and dont wait around for his response or for him to feel the same. As long as Im true to myself the rest will happen as its supposed to.
    If he and I end up being really good friends for the duration at least he will know that one woman cares about him beyond that level. However, in the mean time I dont just sit around and wait for him to decide what he wants to do.
    I have accepted that he may never see me that way and I dont want to miss out on someone who is capable of loving me the way that I should be loved waiting on him to ‘figure it out’.
    That goes for any man, not just him. ๐Ÿ™‚
    Good luck ! gw

    p.s is it just me or is the website running slower than normal?

  1919. #1919 by Aries23 on June 30, 2010 - 7:37 pm

    Diane,

    Yes, some women cope with the Taurus man’s behavior better than others and yes they do feel irritated at times. But, if you like someone enough you have to suck it up and deal with it, you can’t change people especially the Taurus. However, you can subtley suggest that you want something in a relationship, but it may take them a while to come back to you or show any signs of improvement.

    The part I detest the most is after you go out once, they don’t make contact for about 3 days or more. That’s just how they are(slow moving and calculating every move), but it teaches you patience and how to have your own life and not plan your life around your man. Hope that helped.

  1920. #1920 by saggi81 on July 1, 2010 - 11:43 am

    Diane

    yep yeah, i have not only told my bull once but many many times that i feel like a toy too! give me a 5! and he maintains he definitely has never toyed with me. he kinda proved his case recently, so i rest the argument after 7 years and counting, yes it took me this long to believe him. you are not alone! i believe its really the character – inertia over his will – this special breed of bull!! i have a timer (in my heart of cuz) my dear friend on the average appears every 1.5 monthly. he has exceeded the quota last 6 months, so he is into disappearing now. not that i m surprised. i think they are just forcing the ladies who care abt them into following their way of doing things. which i think is kinda selfish?

  1921. #1921 by Diane on July 1, 2010 - 12:43 pm

    Aries23
    Oh was never looking to change him just tried in many ways to make him understand that his behavior towards the way he treated me was gross and lacked compassion and understanding in how I was feeling. He didnโ€™t care because I came to the conclusion it was all about him. I donโ€™t sit around waiting for him to call or even close to that I have my own life it was he thought that he could just pop in and out as he pleased and that wasnโ€™t going to happen. If he wasnโ€™t going to be responsible for 50% of the relationship he needed to go find someone else to play with. Lol

    Saggi81
    I still canโ€™t believe you hung in there for 7 long years you have stamina let me tell ya. I could never deal with that even on one of those lets be friends crap they throw at you after they have been intimate with you. To me that special breed just doesnโ€™t have enough good qualities to even get me to want to stick around to being friends with them after they have used us. I still think many of them are just born mentally challenged and it has nothing to do with how slow they are. lol

  1922. #1922 by PiscesGirl on July 3, 2010 - 9:50 pm

    This water girl thought she’d captured a bull, but today I have different thoughts on that. We were friends, and it started out very nice. He came on strong, although we both discussed and decided that we were not out for a relationship. I met his daughter, sister, ex-wife. Which was strange for me. He told me in the beginning that he wanted a friend and to have fun. That worked for me, that was what I wanted. We’ve both been in other relationships that didn’t fair well. Although he’d make other comments about me choosing the red pill or blue pill (The Matrix). He recanted that later saying he was kidding, when I thought I was trying to ‘run from him’ those were his words.

    He’s three years older, and really knows how to have a good time. We’ve had some creative dates. He shared on the first date that he doesn’t call everyday and that he works alot.

    I can see from other posts here that working hard & a lot is common among some Taurus men. He told me that he’s basically make time for what he wants. And that’s basically what happened. Then all of a sudden he stops answering the texts like he was in the beginning, and the communication just stopped. I mentioned the lack of communication, andhe said that he’d been under the weather. Communication lagged again. Then one day he popped up like nothing had happened. I basically felt that he was backing off and not interested. He asked me ‘why I said that to him’. Told him those were my feelings. That was a week ago.

    I recgonize this a some one putting space and distance in the friendship. I consider him as being gone. A few friends say that’s not the case. Well, that’s all I know. People communicate with whom they want. After reading these posts, I’m not quite sure what’s up. I really don’t want to entertain the back and forth from anyone. However I was interested in him, and he ‘said’ that he was interested in me. I do know that he’s stubborn, and we may have just parted our ways. By the way this friendship lasted almost two months. And I give him credit for his honesty. He was almost too honest about some things. He claimed that he just wanted me to know, and not wonder.

    But, interest is not being shown here. Needless to say I’ve not contacted him, and I don’t plan on it. See I’m a Pisces and stubborn on occasion. I believe that he’s more stubborn than me. It’s interesting reading these posts. Trust me I got mixed signals, and he disappeared.

    Take care, girls.

  1923. #1923 by Tinker on July 5, 2010 - 11:36 am

    PiscesGirl
    Your story sounds very similar to mine, I too am a Pisces, and we I feel have very good intuition about these things!
    My bull was very into me in the beginining too and after two three months the calls and text became less and less then the visits, he too worked all the time and so time for me was very limited,
    I wish I could tell you what this mans intentions towards you are hun, I wish I could tell you why they feel the need to behave like this whenever they deem fit, Do they not care about us enough? do they really not know that the way they behave sometimes really hurts us? or are they really insecure and feel like pushing us away or ignoring us makes them feel in control and better about themselves?

    I saw mine over the weekend and did ask him about why he behaves the way he does and girl i really ddin’t get much in way of an answer to be honest, and they are so good at avoiding questions it’s unreal sometimes!

    The way I deal with my bull is just to ignore his arse, I know two wrongs don’t make a right, but i’ll be damned if i’m gonna sit around waiting for some idiot to call me back or respond to my text all 14 hours after the event? WTF! seriously! so now I just wait for him to call me, come to me, contact me, and if he don’t then he don’t, I have to put my feelings first on this occasion, and if you can’t tell me why you do the things you do then my love, I can’t help you, I have learnt over 2 and a half years of his Bull Crap to just fit him in to MY schedule now, and not worry so much about what he is doing cos these men will drive you mad if you let them and i’m not the one hun!
    Hope this helps somewhat, I know how hard they can be to deal with, but with this special breed of bull, Less is definately More hun, leave him let him do him cos this is what they do best! THEMSELVES! ๐Ÿ™‚

  1924. #1924 by PiscesGirl on July 5, 2010 - 2:28 pm

    Tinker,

    Thanks for your response. I’ve read quiet a few more entries on the blog, and they are interesting. I have continued on with my schedule as normal. I noticed that when my Taurus started to retreat he texted and saying that he had been under the weather and working. I was out of town on a day trip with my family. The next day he texted me to ask what I was doing, and I told him that I was at a family reunion. I continued to text that day and he just stopped communicating totally. No contact for three days after that. So, when he found out that I was doing other things he may not have liked that and stopped texting. But of course that’s my assupmtion about things.

    After those three days he texted like nothing had been missed. He asked he how I was, and told me about the emergency repairs needed in his house that week. LOL! So, yes I can see some similarities between my Taurus male and others here.

    As time goes on his effect is wearing off. This distance is creating space, and for now what I see is a ‘fair wheather’ friend. Plus to go back to our first date we agreed to just being friends from the start. I can see that Taureen males are interesting souls, and we all have our unique character traits for that matter. Being a Pisces makes me sensitive, creative, and intuitive. I’m also stubborn, and I have a temper. Although the tempe has calmed quite a bit, as I just leave people and things alone more than in the past. I’m just not up for drama, arguing, and hoopla as I tend to grow in age. I understand people born under the Taurus sign to be stubborn and have tempers as well. So, what kind of match would that be. I like simple things without problems (yes I know that’s in a dream world). LOL.

    So, at this point I do believe that we are both being stubborn, but I tend to put something down real quick to save the drama and the mess from starting. I admit that I was interested in him, but I don’t like drama. When I see it, I like to leave it. So, I’ll take it for what it is right now. I do have to say that I don’t have any hard feelings toward him. I just think it’s strange, but it looks like everyone has their way of dealing with things.

    So, to make a long story short: I haven’t contacted him and I don’t plan on calling/texting him. If this is a test of some sort I can go on about my way for a very long time. I’ll let him work out whatever it is that’s on mind, but I can’t say that I’m waiting on him. The thoughts of him have gotten shorter by the day. I do have people that I’m friends with that I don’t talk to all of the time. We call each other every now and then to check on each other. He’ll be placed in that category real soon.

    But, I think I still be here reading the entries on the blog. Take care.

    ~PiscesGirl

  1925. #1925 by Lisa on July 5, 2010 - 6:52 pm

    Hello all,

    I am really glad I found this website and it has been interesting to read about all your experiences with a taurus man, as I am dealing with one at the moment and I am close to going bald as I am almost ripping my hair out hahaha.

    I will give you the story he is the brother of one of my friends, have known him for about 10 years I am in my mid 30’s he is in his late 30’s. He has always been there as a good friend of mine, he supported me through my marriage which ended in divorce. I never saw him as anything else but my friend’s brother.

    Last year my friend got married and she suggested her brother and I should share a room at the resort where she was getting married. At first I was a bit hesitant to the idea but she convinced me to go for it, this was decided six months before the wedding. During these six months he and I spoke a lot and realized we had feelings for each other. To make things more complicated we live in different countries, I used to live in the city where he lives but moved away but am now looking to move back (I had decided this before all the drama started).

    During the six months we emailed and called, well he called me several times per week and in addition I think we have managed to have sent each other over 1000 emails.

    He then suggests that I should move in with him as he had just bought a house and since I was going to move there it was a good idea and at that point I saw this as a relationship and didn’t think it was weird as I have known him for so long and we used to hang out a lot.

    Also before the wedding he suggested to me that he’d come and visit me, this was about a year ago and he has still not been here. He used the house, work and projects as an excuse for not coming over. I even added him to one of my frequent flier cards so he could get a cheaper ticket.

    We get to the resort and we get physical a lot and he is very affectionate in front of all the wedding guests, including his parents, whom I have met before and I get along very well with his parents. None of his previous girlfriends have gotten along with his parents and this is really important to the Taurus. During the wedding reception when we are dancing he kisses me on the dance floor twice and as you can imagine I got very surprised. Throughout the duration of the stay we are like any other couple.

    Oh yeah I forgot to mention before that we had even been talking kids and future together, and he always talks as us. We even decided to start a company together and buy property together.

    Then all of a sudden he withdraws and I have no idea why and out of the blue when I am about to give notice on my apartment to move over he says he doesn’t want a relationship. I get so angry with him and am not in contact with him for a month and he tries to get in touch with me but I do not answer.

    I then come around after him being persistent and everything is back on track again. Moving forward I saw him about a month ago as I was in his city for some job interviews and I stayed at his house well in his bedroom and again we were like a couple and stuff.

    I then suggest that I move over earlier as I had to wait until August to find out about a job but if I was there I could apply and go to interviews. He then turn around and tells me that he doesn’t want me to move in with him as he does not want a relationship. Again I get angry and ignore him. Then two weeks ago he sends me an email asking how the move is coming along and if I still will be there at the end of July, I ignore this email and then two days later he starts chatting with me on Skype at the same time as I am on Skype talking to his best friend, who is a friend of mine as well. He then asks why I haven’t replied to his email, he said to me that he has had his phone switched off as he was on vacation (he has a work phone) and I said that I hadn’t tried to call him. I then continue to ignore him. He sent me an email yesterday saying “Happy 4th July” that was it and I just replied after several hours “Thanks, you too and saying that I had been hurt by what has been said” no reaction at all.

    I am really confused by this hot and cold behavior as he says he wants a family, business and everything else with me. When I was there a month ago I went for an interview for a job that is really well paid and he asked me “Can I quit my job if you get that job” and I stupidly said yes as I know he wants to start his own business and I would be happy to be the main bread winner to help him accomplish his goal.

    I have spoken to my guy friends and they all say that he has commitment issues and I am starting to agree with them, but what I don’t understand then is why he is in contact with me and still wants me to move over there.

    Grateful for any help with this Taurus, I am a Leo by the way.

  1926. #1926 by Tinker on July 6, 2010 - 10:28 am

    Oh Lisa! I’m sitting here @ work, shaking my head as I read your story! hun I don’t even know what to tell you! I had my bull in my house this weekend and as I said above I asked this man out right why he bahaves the way he does, non communication, no texts, returning calls 14 hours after the event, this man had no explanation as to why he does the things he does!
    Lisa I looked him in the eye and I said to him ” I know you like me a lot cos I see it when your here with me, so why are you so hell bent on pretending otherwise? all he said to that was ” Well I have never denied I like you a lot”, so my question is why do you do the things you do then ” i don’t know” he said!
    These men are not stupid, they just have very short attention spans, they lose interest in things that lose their shine! they are only interested in what they see, smell taste! if these senses get too familiar to them, they back off and retreat back to their caves! when they crave your warmth, smell and taste again, they POP back up like a little jack in the box, coming back to you so you can arouse their senses again and make them feel all good and special, then they get bored again and they are off!!! are you zzzzzzz yet babe? cos I certainly am, they will go on like this for years my luv, I have been seeing mine 3 yrs this year and NO it never changes! we still have the same arguments we did when he first started ignoring me two months after he got me where he wanted me, after pursuing me for weeks and weeks on end!

    This is why I no longer bother! if he calls he calls, he texts, he texts, he comes over , he comes over! but I will no longer waste my goot time calling his ugly arse just so I can spend the whole day and night waiting for him to return it! not interested in his Bull Crap anymore and this man is 46 years old! so this is no ffing child we are dealing with here, just so you know, it gets no better with age babe!
    I wish I could tell you to hang on in there, and give you some sweet lovely story about all becoming good in the end! sorry luv, it ain’t gonna happen, they are just little shits and that is just the way it is ๐Ÿ™‚

  1927. #1927 by PiscesGirl on July 6, 2010 - 10:45 am

    Lisa,

    Wow! Sorry to hear about your situation. It’s sounds very confusing for you.

    For the time being, since you are considering moving back and looking at jobs: I’d set up my own shop there before moving in with him. I would consider getting myself established in a place and a job before setting up shop with him. That’s the best advice that I would follow for me.

    You may want to see what happens with your guy when you do move back there. Sometimes things turn out differently than we want or expect. Setting up your own place, or finding a roommate could give the two of you time to really get to know each other as mates and to date each other. This is aside from the time that you’ve already known him as a friend, and what you’ve learned from him in calls and emails. It can be different once you’re in the same city, and are available to each other more often.

    By no means am I saying give up on your Taurus guy. Just make sure that you move back for you. That’s why I suggest setting up your own shop, if you can, before moving in with him. Long distance relationships can be very different from face-to-face relationships.

    A conversation may have to take place around his saying no don’t move/when are you moving, but this might be best in person. I can’t promise that you’d get a straight answer from him. He might be a Taurus, but he’s also human. Confusion can be with any sign of the Zodiac. But your story does mimic some other posts, and mine for that matter.

    Yes, it seems hard when it gets hot and cold both at the same time. Concentrate on getting yourself established and being the bread winner for yourself first, before being the bread winner for anyone else. I say this in general aside from the zodiac signs.

    I also noticed with mine that when he initiated communication and I metioned that I missed our talks there was no response or no mention of what I had just said. But he did mention that I had not responded to one of his texts. So, I let that one go as well. It kind of sounds like a game, but at the same time you are learning each other. Your also learning your tolerance level. You really do want to know the type of person that you are considering being in a relationship. You’re learning his ways, and he will eventually learn how you react to his actions.

    Stay strong, occupied, and I hope your job search is successful. I know it’s hard not to get angry, but try not to get angry. I’ve found that the less stress the better.

    ~PiscesGirl

  1928. #1928 by Lisa on July 6, 2010 - 1:01 pm

    Thank you both Tinker and PiscesGirl for your advise and encouragement, and PiscesGirl you are so right it is very confusing at the moment!!!!! And I can promise you both I will establish myself first!!!

    There has been further development as well. Yesterday he chased me down on Facebook, I normally am not available on the chat but yesterday I was, and surprise, surprise he started chatting to me and to tell you the truth I had no idea what to do, but as I am polite and been brought up well, I answered, very short answers he could notice that I was not my normal self.

    I let him lead the conversation, I refused to start asking and wondering what he had been up to!!! Anyways he then after chit chatting for a while he starts with sexual innuendos and talking about how good we are together but I refuse to fall into that trap.

    He then asks if we can go to the resort where his sister got married last year in December and I just said “Don’t know”. He then moves on to ask about how it goes with the jobs in his city and I politely reply. In addition I said to him that he could come here to visit me before any of that (and it would be cheaper) and his reply was “Yes, I hear you”, what kind of an answer is that?????? I just want to know if he is prepared to do this kind of a “sacrifice” as this is very important to me.

    After that he says he wants me in his city and that if we go to the resort we could fly from his city, he said “Hopefully you will be here in December”. I just ignored that. To be fair he told me he had been taken to the ER I told him off as I genuinely care for him and do not want him to develop it further (diabetes, runs in his family) .

    He then told me he had to go and make dinner and asked if I was going to be on Facebook later and I said no so he ask me if we can talk on our Blackberry chat and I said ok. I was not going to initiate anything!!!!! Well a couple of hours later he sends me a message and we were chatting about what we were watching on TV and then I went to sleep (I am 5 hours ahead of him) and surprise, surprise, he sent me a message on the chat when I was asleep.

    I have now decided to be polite and stuff but I will not initiate anything and in a while I will ask him what he wants out of this as I am not interested in a friends with benefits relationship, which I have made clear to him previously and I do not want to get hurt again. I mean my main question is he says he doesn’t want a relationship and then he goes on how much he wants me in his city, vacations and talking to me about what he is doing with his house and stuff.

    I just wish I didn’t have any feelings for him, awwwww life would have been so easy ๐Ÿ™‚

  1929. #1929 by SadgeGal on July 6, 2010 - 1:31 pm

    Wow! Lisa, your Taurus sounds EXACTLY like mine, only mine is in his late 20’s. We were in a long distance (different States) situation as well for months and during this time, he was able to build castles in the clouds for me and us, as regards our relationship (telling me we are SUCH a perfect match; mentioning how we’ll have a certain number of kids; talking about how he’d do anything to make me happy and how it is his dream to make me happy; talking about how we’ll live when we move in together even if I never suggested such a thing LOL etc etc) and I was foolish enough to fall for them so fast… especially with me being the Sag dreamer haha. I definitely feel you on the hot and cold issues, because now things have changed after a few months. I had to cut contact with him because I grew impatient (and perhaps I over-reacted as well) but in the past month we got in touch again. Any way, I’m not waiting around for him… I’ve got my own life and cannot be bothered with thinking about him 24/7 ๐Ÿ™‚
    My philosophy is that if things are meant to be, they will be and currently I’m content with the attention I get from other males… I mean, I could tell he wasn’t too pleased to find out that my room mate is a male ๐Ÿ™‚ (although we’ve been nothing but platonic friends so far).

    One thing I do know is that if a Taurus man is really into you which is what it sounds like, he’ll come back when he’s ready. Some Taurus men are known to jump into relationships quickly and things progress really fast in the relationship but it takes some other Taurus men a LONG time to get into a relationship or even to move things to the next level. Woman, it takes a LOT of patience to be with some of these Taurus men so are you prepared for that? I very much like your approach of not wanting to initiate anything and letting him do things on his own time… I had to learn that myself within the first couple of months, thus he initiated about 85-90% of the calls as well as chats ;-).
    Bravo and hopefully things do get better with you both!

    ๐Ÿ™‚ Cheers~

  1930. #1930 by Tinker on July 6, 2010 - 1:48 pm

    ahh Lisa, yes it would be great for us all if these men were not so charming and sweet when they want to be! but because we know all too well how lovely and darlin they can be, it almost makes how they treat us even more unbelievable!
    My Bull says “yeah I hear ya” at least 20 times in any one conversation, until the other day I said “actually you DON’T HEAR ME” cos I just thought you dont listen to me, you hear what you want to hear and only what you want to hear!
    This man does sound like he really likes you, but this breed of Taurus are just not very good at showing us this, outside the bedroom, and I need more then just a good time to make me happy! But what your doing with the short answers and not initiating contact with him, they need to see we are independent and not needy, they hate when we are busy with our life, but I tell you something, never has this man respected me so much as he does now! cos i’m not all up in his life like before, and as he said to me the other day! ” your so unpredictable these day’s” so I know he has noticed! Good for him!

    Keep your chin up hun, I know all too well the mind games these selfish men are capable of, but you are a LION so don’t take no crap from this man, let jhim go stroke his ego with someone else, he can’t have one foot in with you and one foot constantly out! it’s not fair to you Lisa.

  1931. #1931 by Lisa on July 6, 2010 - 3:40 pm

    @ SadgeGal, are you sure we are not talking about the same man here ๐Ÿ™‚ what you said your Taurus has said to you is exactly what mine has said to me! I do agree with you we can’t allow ourselves to sit around and think about them 24/7, I have done that before with him and it drove up the wall and as someone who needs to be in control (have to for work) but due to other things happening in my life the past few months I have actually learnt that I can’t be in control of everything, and I am starting to enjoy that feeling and therefore apply this to the Taurus. I want him to wonder what I do and where I am, I do not want him to get too comfortable in thinking I am there at all times. At one point a friend of mine put on my wall on Facebook “how was the date” the Taurus saw this and brought it up, he then said “well I can’t say anything” this was after he had told me he didn’t want a relationship the first time and I just replied “No you can’t”, thing is that the date I had was a coffee with a friend, hahaha.

    @Tinker, thank you I will say that to my Taurus as well, the next time he says “Yes I hear you” very good I like that!!!!! And you are spot on about the appreciation outside the bedroom. Although I said to him yesterday that I had bought a new dress that looked cute on me and he said to me “I can imagine that”, now and again he does say things like that to me, but it would be nice to hear that he likes me from HIS mouth. I had no idea that they hate us having a busy independent life, bring it on is all I will say, he won’t realize what has hit him!!!!!

    It was really nice to hear from both of you that you think he likes me because to tell you the truth at this point I have no idea what to think. I think that is also why I have changed my strategy, I will let him work for it this time, that is for sure!!!! I will try and be patient even though it is not in my nature at all, however, I do tend to rush into things so in that sense this slow-mo is helping me. Wouldn’t a time scale be awesome????

  1932. #1932 by Tinker on July 6, 2010 - 7:26 pm

    Timescale!!!! lol lol ๐Ÿ™‚ you will be lucky hun. everything is about them and everything is in their time, DON”T FORGET THAT! but they do mess us around a lot and I don’t care how much you hear that these men are true and don’t cheat and lie! NEWS FLASH!!!!!!! THEY DO! first and foremost these are MEN we are dealing with and if they can get away with it they will hun! TRUST ME! these breed can be very loving and adorable, but the only problem with this is they love the company of Women and they will behave like this to ALL OF THEM!

    Protect yourself and your heart luv, cos they won’t do it for you! ๐Ÿ™‚

  1933. #1933 by Lisa on July 7, 2010 - 10:27 am

    @ Tinker, I know, right, But a girl can dream, lol. Well in regards to my Taurus I am pretty sure he doesn’t see other girls, he is always at home and do not date casually and stuff, I know this after I was living in the same town. He used to work with two of his past girlfriends and he is not the type to go out partying and drinking. He has a few guy friends and that is it, if he goes out he either goes to his parent’s house or his sister’s house. I can promise you I will protect my heart. I also will ask him in a while what he wants with this as I can not take being hurt again but I will not bring that up now as we are in touch again. But I thin I might have been a bit pushy as well, in fact he said so, it doesn’t excuse his behavior at all but it explains and I know for a fact I can become very pushy at times, so I will handle this.

    There was developments last night again. I got a message on my cell at 3 am my time saying he is on skype, I ignored it and then two minutes later he sends me an email saying he is on skype which i ignore and then ten minutes later he sends me one more chat message on my phone saying that he is switching off the computer to watch TV and that we maybe could talk tonight instead. I replied this morning saying I didn’t sleep at home and my phone was in handbag and sure we can talk tonight. I am quite proud that I managed to ignore it and wait besides he can wonder where I slept last night. If he asks tonight I will say at a friend’s house who I haven’t seen for a while. I would love to have to say at a guy’s house but he wouldn’t believe that as he knows I don’t sleep around and stuff. So all I can say is to be continued…

  1934. #1934 by Tinker on July 7, 2010 - 12:17 pm

    Lisa, good for you hun, let him wonder where you have been! I do this a lot and he always has to ask “where you been?” just like that! lol lol Idiot! as i said I saw mine on Saturday and did not call him at all. he called yesterday all sad and down cos he had sports day with his son and hurt himself in one on the races! I just thought to myself, of course you would ring for sympathy! what else? I felt sorry initially, but when I got thinking about all his other women friends I just said ” you have enough women to look out for you im sure you will be fine” he didn’t like that so just said “ill call ya tomorrow all down and sad! not heard from him and don’t much care right now!
    When he wants me he is all over me like a rash calling and texing constantly but when he is busy doing what he wants to do I don’t hear a peep out of him for days on end, so good for him! I know about the pushy thing but in our defence these men do come on VERY strong when they want to, then when it gets to hot for them they back off, so Im sure you had good reason at the time to be pushy! how were you to know he would change his mind after a while hun? we are not mind readers, but I wish I was sometimes! ๐Ÿ™‚
    Piscesgirl mentioned something about seeing hers as a fair weather friend and im about to put this Idiot right into that category and just talk every so often, can’t take him seriously anymore, way too BI-POLOR for me hun! ๐Ÿ™‚

  1935. #1935 by PiscesGirl on July 7, 2010 - 4:29 pm

    @Tinker

    …..and Fair weather friend he’s becoming.

    I’m new at this Taurus retreat trait. I do know that as a Pisces I retreat from the world from time to time, but not from those that are really close to me. But no contact in my book means: it’s a done deal.

    Of course I’ve done it before – if I had no intentions of every speaking to the person again. And that’s basically after I decided they weren’t for me, or if they were like cut out of my life. So, to have it just cut like that during amicable times is weird, but it looks like it falls in line with some of the Taurus tendencies.

    Like you said I’m not a mind reader, and I’m not going to put any energy into figuring it out.

    I know that I ticked him off on our last communication cause I told him he turned his backside to me. ๐Ÿ™‚

    He didn’t like that, he’s stubborn, and so am I. But I was merely stating the facts of the case. He may have just met his match. Oh well…..:-)

    @Lisa

    I’d like to hear how the follow-up conversation will go now that you’ve told him you were staying at a friend’s house last night.

  1936. #1936 by Tinker on July 7, 2010 - 5:51 pm

    PiscesGirl,
    Yes hun, its one thing when we have a fight and they go off and not talk to us, but like you said, when they go off for no good reason, you have to start to think. why am I doing this?
    They are just rude men hun, and I for one will no longer make excuses for these idiots! they don’t respect us or themselves enough to conduct an adult relationship with us! they behave like spoilt Kids and I for one will start treating them accordingly!

    Give him hell babe, they deserve it! ๐Ÿ™‚

  1937. #1937 by Lisa on July 7, 2010 - 6:05 pm

    @ Tinker, Thank you for the support, I felt a bit guilty ignoring him but then on second thought I know he has ignored my calls or chats when he has been home!!!!! I totally agree about the ignoring when nothing wrong has been done or said, just because they need to be in their “cave” which I so do not believe in!!!! I am so sorry that you have decided to put your Taurus as Fair weather friend but then again I totally understand. And there is not a man on this earth that his worth getting the better of you, keep it up girl!!!

    @PiscesGirl, Promise I will keep you posted, it might not even be a conversation tonight, hahaha, who knows, he might have gotten annoyed from my message this morning…

    That is why, after finding this site, I decided that he needs to chase me. I mean it is really hard since I still have feelings for him and I know how much fun we have together and it feels so normal. And in all fairness we talk about everything, he asks me a lot what is happening with me AND he actually remember some things I say, that is more than I can say of my ex-husband! My Taurus even helped me when I had a major issue with my family and he always ask me about that.

    As PiscesGirl said, he has met his match, I can be very stubborn if I want. I am not at the point to send him back to the friends department, even though we in HIS eyes are friends, whatever, is all I am saying. To be continued…

  1938. #1938 by Tinker on July 7, 2010 - 7:06 pm

    Girls Girls Girls!
    The bottom line is if these men really respected us and loved us they would not treat us like this! I don’t care what star sign they are. this no longer matters to me! these men are users and will use us for as long as we allow it! Come on girls think about it! these are not children we are talking about! these are MEN!!!! and I don’t know about you guys but I have had men in my life and when they respect you, and love you, you know about it cos they show it all the time, they call. they text, they take you out and shower you with compliments and attention!
    I will no longer try to figure these idiots out, the fact is they do not want us, cos if they did we would not be here ladies! bottom line.
    Think about it! there is no excuse for ignoring someone’s calls and hiding from you if they CARED ABOUT YOU! they just want you when THEY want you and when they don’t you can just go f2ck off as far as they are concerned!

    If you have time to play games with these idiots then please go right ahead and play with them, but just remember, this is just one big GAME to them! I don’t care what sign you are, unless your gonna respect me and love me and treat me right you can go jump off a high bridge!

    im done being used by these men, there has to come a point when you wake up and and smell the coffee and I know just by talking to you guys that you are lovely women, you don’t deserve this treatment, dogs get treated better then us! come on!!!!! either they are gonna step up and behave, or they got to go cos i’m not getting any younger and I want to see and have some happiness in my life before I leave this world!

  1939. #1939 by Diane on July 7, 2010 - 7:44 pm

    Ladies, ladies, ladies you beautiful sweet ladies please read some of what you are writing here. You are blaming yourselves for the bad behavior of this special breed of Taurus man. Ladies I know first hand that these men do what they do because they are not really interested in you. They are just too much of a coward to come out and tell you that you are not what they want long term. They play you and you play right into it as they keep coming and going and using you up. It is like any other man except Taurus men have this special way of saying all the right things when they want something and saying noting or going into cave mode when you are not needed at the moment. They keep you around because you let them and they eat it up loving it the whole time as it builds their ego. These player have no respect for you they really donโ€™t. Ladies stop finding excuses and stop blaming yourselves put the blame where it belongs which is on them. I canโ€™t believe you ladies are still coming here in hopes of finding out about these men. Ladies they are users and jerks and players is what they are. There is noting to figure out really it is exactly what you think it is users, players and jerks and you are just another notch on their belt. I hate to be so blunt but seriously how many other men in your lives have treated you like these cowards do.

  1940. #1940 by Lisa on July 8, 2010 - 11:27 am

    @ Diane and Tinker, you are both so right in that we should not put up with this kind of behavior and that they are not good to us and we deserve better. And I have decided to protect myself now and not fall for his smooth talk, he can say whatever he wants and it will go in one ear and out the other. And I will just see if he manages to step up and at the same time go on with my life and if other men show interest I will lap that up.

    @PiscesGirl, he did not ask who the friend was, he didn’t bring it up at all. But I think he assumed that it was one of my girl friends as he knows I don’t sleep around and stuff. But the point was made to him, I am not available to you at all times.

    We had the Skype chat last night it lasted for about two hours. While we were talking he said he wanted to come and see me here, I just said to him, “you have said that for a year, I will believe you when I see the ticket”. He checked prices for around my birthday, which is coming up but it was far too expensive, so now the new date is in September, we shall see I am not getting excited, however, if he does come then he will get some good points in my book but until I see proof of a ticket, I am staying very neutral. He then brought up the trip in December and he checked prices as well, we shall see. I am being VERY cautious. At the same time he is very supportive of me and again yesterday he said several times that he wants me in his town, but as I said to him it is not easy to find an employer prepared to sponsor me for a work permit. We shall see, I am not getting my hopes up in regards to anything, if it happens it happens and that is great, if not I will move on with my life and my plans. When we were about to hang up he said “talk tomorrow” if we do we do if not I will not stress. I have decided along with everything else is that I will stick to my strategy of not initiating any contact. I have a tendency to over analyze and for once in my life I will stop doing so!

  1941. #1941 by PiscesGirl on July 8, 2010 - 1:10 pm

    Lisa,

    There’s no special strategy to stick to; live your life as you were living before you met your guy. That way no extra energy should be involved. It should all be natural.

    Take everything with a grain of salt. Even the advice you’re given; from the sweetest advice to the hardest advice. This is your life to live and your time to shine.

    ~PiscesGirl

  1942. #1942 by GemWoman on July 8, 2010 - 3:13 pm

    I have received these comments via email and I just want to add this….

    I dont think any of us are naive enough to believe that some of these men arent just ‘playing with our emotions’. But sometimes you need a place to vent and share your thoughts. Your real time friends or family members may not want to hear your ‘stuff’ on a daily basis. So for those that feel that we are silly, lack knowledge or self esteem just because we choose to come here and vent from time to time or to lend a compassionate ear, my thoughts are WGAF?

    That is all…..

    GemWOMAN….over 40, loving life and LOVES my Taurus man as my friend for life and possible life partner, but I DO NOT worship him NOR do I put him on a pedastal for he is JUST a man.

    Carry on…..

  1943. #1943 by Tinker on July 8, 2010 - 3:56 pm

    @PiscesGirl
    Hey Hun just have to tell you that I cant seem to get your “Fair Weather Friend” comment out of my head lol lol
    So glad you came up with that, as it has put my relationship in such a new light! don’t know why I never thought of it before but I guess that’s why it’s good to talk! just takes all the pressure to perform away and it feels so relaxed and simple now! can’t thank you enough for that seed hun, will just sit back now and watch it grow ๐Ÿ™‚

    Lisa hope all is well with you and you still have a big smile on your face ๐Ÿ™‚ we live we learn and we love! so as long as were doing the three L’s we will be just fine! ๐Ÿ™‚

  1944. #1944 by PiscesGirl on July 8, 2010 - 5:27 pm

    @GemWoman – Your line: ‘But sometimes you need a place to vent and share your thoughts.’ is priceless. Yes, I viewed this as a place to get an impartial opinion totally.

    Feel free to share more…..I’m interested.

    @Tinker – Yes, out of sight out of mind. Works for me.

    ~PiscesGirl

  1945. #1945 by Lisa on July 8, 2010 - 8:22 pm

    @PiscesGirl, you hit the nail on the head I need to take things more with a grain of salt. Where is the sale???? lol I am learning step by step.

    @ GemWoman, you are so right we all need a place to went as friends and family might get too tired of all the venting and possible over analyzing, I for one do not want to bother them too much and I also appreciate other opinions as you can learn and take on board what you need at a certain point in time. And just as PiscesGirl I am very much interested in your advise as well, please do share ๐Ÿ™‚

    @ Tinker, it is all good here, have taken your advise to protect myself. The thing is that I have had other things in my life that has stressed me out on top of this and when everything happens at one time it all goes pear shaped.

  1946. #1946 by dutchcapri on August 10, 2010 - 8:26 pm

    Hi Ladies,

    I’ve been reading up on this site for the last couple of days. Yes it’s a lot to read so it took me some time to catch up:-)
    I’d really like some advise from you taurus experts.
    So suprise suprise I have a major crush on this taurus guy from work. I think he likes me but not sure about it cause I get mixed signals from him.
    I have known him for many years already but since I was married up to last october we were just collegeas who could get along great. After my seperation we became much closer and we had a lot of talks about relationships, life in general etc. I know a lot about him and about his last relationship that enden about 7 years ago which was pretty nasty at the end. It took him a very long time to get over that.
    He starting telling me that we should go out for drinks some time, see a movie, rinding his bike etc. Besides talking we also texted a lot on occasion and we both flirted with eachother. So far so good
    About 2 months ago I had to stay at home due to a burnout. Up till now he has been very supportive and in the beginning i would receive at least 1 text message a day. It started with wishing me a goodnight and sweet dreams. I texted him and one other collegea regulary updates on how I was doing. After a while we switched to email cause the text messages became too long and so many that it became quiet expensive :-).
    The emails and text messages became more and more flirtatious. It started with that he will meet me in dreamland (as he calls it) and the latest email was that he would give me a body to body massage in dreamland and that I should wear thos sexy lingeri this time because he wouldn’t be able to go every where :-). Ok I have to tell you guys that all thos kind of comments came a long with smileys and winks.
    Since I was at home he told me that if i was ready for going out for drinks i should tell him. So I asked him a couple of weeks ago when are we going out for those drinks cause I feel up for it. And guess what? I am still waiting for a date.
    I have cooked him dinner once at my place and I have visited him briefly at his place. Which on both occasions was fun.
    He has been single for more then 7 years and really likes his freedom. He told me he doesn’t want a relationship because he likes his life a lot the way it is. Right before my burnout he told me he was beginning to open up more to the idea of relationships. After he told me that one day at work I was like… and why are you telling me this?
    I started to work again last week for just a couple of hours and the first few days the communcitation (texting and emails) were just fine. But for now I haven’t heard from him since last friday. He wasn’t at work today so I texted him if he was enjoying a day off and not sick. I haven’t heard from him back. So I guess he is in his cave?!
    Ok ladies here is my question…. does this taurus guy like me and be very patient as I have been so far or just don’t bother with him anymore cause its costing me a lot of energy and doubts.

    Oh yeah btw he is not a player at all. He does go out with friends a lot but he doesn’t date and he doens’t beleive in one night stands and without a doubt he is the sweetest guy I’ve ever met ๐Ÿ™‚

    thanks for you insight and input on this one.

  1947. #1947 by saggi81 on August 11, 2010 - 4:46 am

    hi peeple!

    @dutchcapri

    welcome to d club! wellwell.. i think this bull of yours likes u enough to invite u to his pasture (they are pretty protective and sensitive about their field), no replies doesnt mean bad news. i have a naggy feeling that they sometimes want to hide alone; at the same time condition u so that u dont freak out if he does that again (read: again and again and again..) no matter how much he likes u he can well vanish into space when he likes it. so dont equate the hiding to the amount of fondness he has for u. i am trying to do what the other ladies have taught here – to condition them as well! reply all the time, make him feel (even a tiny bit) he is being rude for not replying yet DO NOT MAKE A FUSS. i repeat DO NOT GET WORKED UP. appear concerned since u genuinely are.
    as for the date part – it will come, eventually, if u dont piss him off, frighten him too much, bore him more than he can take. the best approach is wait out, if u can and since it hasnt gone too ugly/intense/boring. it will happen when u least expect it. dont try to hint it out too many times. thats my 2cents babe. hope its useful!

  1948. #1948 by dutchcapri on August 11, 2010 - 7:29 am

    @Saggi81

    Thanks for your insights on this. It really helped!.
    After my post yesterday I received an email from him again. He was really sweet and asked how I have been and that he was sorry that he didn’t contact me more in the last couple of days but that he had been really busy.
    He atually asked if I would have diner with him soon to catch up face to face cause some of my burnout therapy stuff is easier said face to face then through email and besides that there are other thing easier discussed face to face (his words).
    Of course he ended the email agian with flirting and it seems that the flirting part is becoming more naughty every time :-).

    I replied him tot take it easy with all that busy stuff and that I would like to go out and have dinner with him. I told him to set a date so we’ll see if he does that any time soon this time :-).

    I was ready to give him up cause I’d been very patient so far but at some point you think how long does one need. I had these feelings before but everytime he comes around just in time to keep me hanging in there. How do they do that? ๐Ÿ™‚

  1949. #1949 by saggi81 on August 11, 2010 - 7:46 am

    @dutchcapri

    hi there! great updates! sounds refreshing cuz if u have read above, i have been in this mud for 7years and counting.. so i get excited with freshies! (someone help me!) just kidding dear ๐Ÿ™‚
    anyway, as far as my experience tells me, the “stay-away” peroid can vary – from 1 week to 2 months. i have been very well conditioned so if he disappears, i carry on with my stuff, my life. one cant be too carried away – i know they r charming when they r around, but that really is when they ARE around! i guess he is still nice and polite but somehow they can turn into domineering stubborn people with i want it my way attitude. my bull friend doesnt apologize to me about disappearence anymore, he doesnt even explain and assume i should be more understanding.
    have u ever thought of turning the tables around?

  1950. #1950 by dutchcapri on August 11, 2010 - 8:10 am

    @saggi81

    Yeah I have read everything above and wow 7 years is a very long time. You have to be a very strong woman and with a lot of patience. This forum really gave me some insight but also a lot of doubts since I am not sure I would want all this bull…. happening to me. On the other hand I know if you’ra in love you can take a lot but there has to be some limits, right?

    No I haven’t thought about turning the table. He has preety much been there and last couple of days I just didn’t sent him any updates since I was still waiting for a response on my last email. Ok he wasn’t at work yesterday so that was a good excuse to sent him a short text. Besides that I do not have a relationship with him nor does he know how I feel abut him so I got nothing to lose yet:-).

    I have read in the previous post to ignore the taurus if he does his disappearing act. I am still not sure if that is really a good idea. I know absents makes the heart grow fonder etc but on the other hand they like stability and if I wouldn’t keep some kind of contact now and then it would be out of character for me. Doesn’t everybody likes to hear something from someone? I don’t say you have to keep emailing, texting him every hour or everyday but isn’t a good thing to let him know you’re still there and haven’t been scared off yet? I might get this one wrong but I haven’t encountered it yet.

    How are things going with your Bull? It has been a while since anybody posted here.

  1951. #1951 by Tinker on August 11, 2010 - 9:42 am

    Hi dutchcapri!

    Yes it has been a while since any of us has been here because the Bull sent us all mad and we are now all in recovery!!!lol lol lol ๐Ÿ™‚ (just Kiddin hun there are some very sensitive women on here sometimes!)

    I read your post this morning and I must say WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF BULLS! you are officially a member of the bull club now and it’s gonna be one roller coaster ride! they really are the sweetest people when they are sweet but they are quite selfish in their attitude towards togetherness and they really do need a lot of space and time, and I know how hard it is sometimes to back off when they are absent, but trust me they do not appreciate being pushed or forced into activity, they do get irratable and grumpy when forced to take action when all they want to do is be left aone, so just be cautious!

    I do hope you do get to go out for your meal together and also I hope more then anything that you guy’s have a great a drama free relationship, Life is very short and we should all try and grab happiness in whatever form it comes in, even if it’s wrapped up in the shape of a BULL.

  1952. #1952 by saggi81 on August 11, 2010 - 10:39 am

    @dutchcapri

    yes i m still on the ride! i m amazed but i may be dropping out soon. we r literally on friendly terms now. i m not extremely sensitive i muz say but he gets on my nerves. he has already told me explicitly that he thinks all sweet nothings are bull shit (?!) and he doesnt want to repeat himself. so i m supposed to stop asking about how he feels about us etc (honestly i have not been eager to find out) does he want me to imagine a relationship from thin air?! i cant believe it. we r still meeting despite all the drama, i feel good cuz i have been the one to initiate and he picks a date then we see each other. sometimes turning the table around makes me feel good! sometimes he is nice, sometimes he isnt, in fact he is getting grouchy and snappy. a tad too busy (him) to ask him about whats going on.

    as to what u said about being there (around in a sense), it is a good move to express your ?stability. but like someone said earlier, if he wants u, he will stay no matter what. i ignored him for a good few years, he bounced back every few months then. now that i told him i m staying he doesnt seem too excited about the commitment too.

  1953. #1953 by dutchcapri on August 11, 2010 - 6:34 pm

    Hey Ladies,

    Thanks for all the info.

    @Tinker
    You’re funny! ๐Ÿ™‚ hope you recover soon ๐Ÿ™‚
    You know I actually don’t like roller coasters…. pff so what am I getting myself in here. He better be worth it lol

    @Saggi81

    To bad to here that things haven’t improved a lot with your Bull. I hope he realises what he is passing up on. In my opinion everybody deserves some love and hapiness and it’s not a one way street!
    I came out of a 17 year relationship last year and let me tell you if you decide to stick around then he better be worth it. I would hate to see you waste precious time on someone who doesn’t deserver your love and commitment.
    I truly do wish you good luck with your Bull and hopes he turns around real soon.

    Here I am waiting to see whether he will reply my email and set a date for our dinner. He usually emails me pretty late in the evening so we’ll have to see. Its 20:30pm over here and if he wants a reply from me then he better email me within 2 hours cause after that I am off to bed :-).

    I know that they can be very stubborn and reluctant to change anything. Luckely for me my sister is a Bull as well so I sometimes imagin what she would do in this situatie. I can tell you that the female Bulls do have a lot of similarities as to the male Bull.

    I’ll keep you girls posted and see if this Bull comes around and if it will be a roller coaster or not.

  1954. #1954 by GemWoman on August 11, 2010 - 7:40 pm

    I havent posted because I have given up for real this time. We spent a weekend together and its more than obvious that this TM and I will be platonic friends for the rest of our lives. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Case in point:

    He spent the weekend with me at my place, he never let me know that he landed safely (this happens EVERY time we visit) I called and emailed to touch base a couple of times right after he left, he has not returned the calls and yes he did email me back but it was just an ‘oh thanks for checking on me type thing’. AFter that I was like **F** it!

    Two weeks after his departure, he IM’s me yesterday out of the blue chatting as if we speak every day.

    I have put too much energy into him already. It has been over a year. I do see other guys but he has had my heart on lockdown.

    So, with all of that being said, I am happy that there are women out there who can ‘wait it out’ for these guys, but with me, my patience level borders at zero tolerance.

    Enjoy all the TM lovin ya’ll.

    This girl is feeling right comfy as the lifetime friend.

  1955. #1955 by saggi81 on August 12, 2010 - 3:34 am

    hey peep

    just met up with my friend yesterday and there he goes, looking like we have been married for years and merely talking nonsense and gossips. no talk about “us”, his feelings needless to say, he doesnt ask about my feelings. he sometimes assume he knows and he thinks i know him too. bad thing is i m a sag, with alot of capri in me. so i cant cope without a status and heart to heart talk. i dont think i have the ability to read minds!

    @dutchcapri

    any dinner dates as yet? winkwink.. excited for u darling but take it in your stride. feel free to talk if u need a listening ear. we need a lot of courage!

  1956. #1956 by Tinker on August 12, 2010 - 8:44 am

    Hey Ladies,
    It sounds like we are all giving up on our bulls, one way or another! I too gave mine his marching orders! the roller coaster of issues between us was making me really sick, I was even questioning my mental health at one point, because who in their right mind is going put up with returned calls 14 hours after the event and once a month visits, and constant bickering in between all that, plus the fact that he didn’t want to be with me but still found 101 reasons to make contact, sometimes for stupid reasons!
    I will admit I adore this man with everything that i am, but he is never going to change his stubborn mind and i’m not going to change mine!

    Do you know I sent this man back all his things and told him to make no further contact with me EVER! I only got to two weeks before that SOB was on the phone crying telling me “he dont care what the hell I say he is never going to cut me off we are in this for life” can you believe it? I couldn’t, all he does is push me away and tell me that we can only be friends and he can’t give me more, only to behave like an idiot when i’m done!

    I told him, bottom line hun “WE DON’T GET ALONG” so why try anymore? he appears to be more then happy with his set up while all the while i’m left here taking my medication and wondering when the men in white coats are coming to get me ๐Ÿ™‚

  1957. #1957 by saggi81 on August 12, 2010 - 11:11 am

    @tinker

    hi babe! i have that problem too! he can vanish, can hide, can pretend he didnt see my messages; yet when i vanish he asks me why am i distancing myself, when i am all formal and courteous, he thinks i m trying to be funny. hellooowww get a life man! i havent thrown the ultimatum recently – you girls know what i can do (vanish into the wind for 3 years, cut all contacts) but he is trying to keep me there on a thin line. i feel it thinning and soon it may snap again!

    i hate the tug of war goodness me!

  1958. #1958 by Tinker on August 12, 2010 - 11:33 am

    Saggi81,
    hun if anyone here knows my plight I know it’s you girl, I was thinking just the other night that if I didn’t know better I would swear we have the same bull in common! the thing i think I find the most scary about all of this is how content they appear to be with the ups and downs! i’m seriously seeking counselling after all this mess, and I have only been in it, gosh….. three yrs this november! and i’m telling you sometimes i feel like just not being here anymore cos it just all gets too much for me! I mean I can laugh and joke about it cos that’s kinda what I do to get by, but I find it all very trying and hard sometimes to the point where I can’t even leave my bed sometimes!

    I tell him you know, that I can’t do this anymore i’m about to lose my mind up in here and I have my daughter to consider, cos and angry mom makes for an angry home and I can’t be putting her through this too! he adores her and refers to her as his daughter, she too likes him, but she is acutely aware that he doesn’t always make mummy happy, as one time I was crying and she caught me and said ” mum is this because of ___ again” I was shocked that even her at nine knows that there is something amiss here! but no not him, he will hang on for dear life it would appear regardless of what this relationship is doing to me!

    It’s not often I do regrets, but on this occasion I really must indulge, does he know what he does? who knows, does he care? No! his eye is on how I make him feel, and it appears to me that is all he wants here.

  1959. #1959 by Lisa on August 12, 2010 - 11:48 am

    Hi girls,

    I have followed what you have written here. With my bull, after we had had the latest showdown I once again decided no contact at all, I had had enough. But l of course he was contacting me again, and I caved in and I have to say it is for the better now, I feel we have moved on and he is sharing much more.

    What I have done is to have him initiate contact and work for it. And I do not contact him at all during the day, unless it is something I need to tell him, then it is a short email. I thought why should I be the one initiating contact and so far so good, I actually do not freak out about the situation anymore. Also what helps is that we have our 2-3 hour Skype conversations a few times a week.

    So my advise to all of you is LET HIM CHASE at the end of the day he is a man and they need to chase so just let him work for it. Besides by having your own life we all look more attractive to him.

    @dutchcapri

    I would say you have now told him you are ok for dinner so now the ball is in his court, let him set up a day and stuff. Also do not answer his emails and texts immediately, he will think you are sitting there waiting for his messages, do not give him that satisfaction, let him wonder. I do that to my bull and the other night I had three messages waiting for me and I just smiled at that, very good strategy.

    And also the next time he is not at work, do not text or email him to see if he is enjoying himself or is ok, let him wonder, you are not the one who has to be the only one contacting. Even if you are just sitting on the couch watching a movie and eating ice cream when he calls/texts/email do not reply until late the next day.

    One thing I did was to let my bull hanging one night when he sent me a message at 2 am, I am five hours ahead of him. And in the morning I just replied “sorry didn’t get your message, was staying over at a friend’s house and my phone was in my hand bag”. I was sleeping at home and I saw when I got his message, I know it is a bit harsh but that is the only way for them to adjust.

    For example yesterday I sent him an email in the morning my time to tell him about something, he replied, and until now I have not responded, I estimate that I will have an IM/message/call tonight, that is how he works. Just drop off like he does, give him some of his own medicine!!!!! That is where I went wrong initially, I was too nice, hey there is that saying that men loves b***hes, go with that, I do and so far it is working!!

  1960. #1960 by saggi81 on August 12, 2010 - 12:11 pm

    @tinker

    hey babe! gosh, thats bad! they r really affecting us in a real bad way. today i wept again, how pathetic is that? for a guy who seemingly want me for a second then backs off. did i tell u i told him exactly that? guess what, he says we r in a situation too late (my bull has a wife that he couldnt dump becuz of gratitude and responsibility).

    u wanna try telling him about how u feel? like in a calm way? i did that it worked a little. but u have to catch him at the right time! do u have messenger or something? we can talk!

  1961. #1961 by Lisa on August 12, 2010 - 12:45 pm

    @saggi81 and tinker
    You both need to break the bond ASAP your bulls especially when your bulls are affecting you in a physical and psychological way, that is not on!!!! You both need to get out, this is not a game anymore, it really upset me that these boys, yup boys, as they are acting like boys are doing this to you both.

    @saggi 81

    It is not pathetic to cry over him, it is normal when you are unhappy with a situation, promise me you do not EVER again consider it to pathetic!!!!!! But I am sure you have heard this a million times before but if he hasnโ€™t left his wife for this long, he wonโ€™t, I am not saying he doesnโ€™t love you but he might be afraid of the change and staying with his wife is easy and well-known. I mean when I wanted a divorce from my ex, I initiated it and he cried and begged me not to proceed. Until this day (has been two years now) he still calls me, my friends are fully convinced he wants me back but there will be eight Sundays in a week before that happens. Just break the bond, it will hurt initially but you will be fine.

    @tinker

    If you are about to seek professional help, that is not on, this guy is really messing with you, get out!!!! No matter how much he adores you little girl, who I am sure is adorable, you have to put her before anything, especially since she notices how he affects you. Good thing is that since you are getting professional help the โ€œbreaking of the bondโ€ will be easier. Enough is enough!!!!

    Good luck the two of you, stay strong, but please, for your own sake, end things with them, this is getting too serious now. And if need be, tell the bulls that you have had to seek professional help!!! They might as well hear what they have done to you!!!!

  1962. #1962 by saggi81 on August 12, 2010 - 12:46 pm

    @lisa

    hello lady! i have tried that before – not replying immediately after a chain of responding on time. he just waited patiently i guess and finally when i called him back he was a little bitter. haa those are the triumphant moments that are getting rare for me. he is not initiating contact recently, maybe he is just bored with me or too busy like he claimed. i don want to dwell too much cuz he says very often that i think too much about negative stuff. he uses the excuse that i should understand him well enough to know it wasnt deliberate. what can i say?!

  1963. #1963 by Lisa on August 12, 2010 - 12:51 pm

    @saggi 81

    How are YOU supposed to understand HIM if he does not communicate?????? Tell him to explain that to you, IF you ever talk to him again. Well if he resurfaces I would just tell him where to go, enough is enough!!! I am getting angry here on your behalf!!!! Maybe yelling at him and telling him where to go might get the message through his think stubborn head ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Well that strategy is working with mine, so I guess I am lucky but I have to say in all honesty mine has really shaped up or maybe I have chilled out, who knows, I do not care as long as it is working.

  1964. #1964 by Tinker on August 12, 2010 - 12:57 pm

    @ Saggi81
    Babe you can contact me on messenger and cry yr little heart out all you want it’s ‘tinker.hell@hotmail.com’
    look forward to hearing from ya hun ๐Ÿ™‚

    @ lisa
    Yes I have finished with my bull, he can hold on all he wants but sending his things back was a big step for me and i’m ready to move on and be loved genuinely!
    he is so pissed with me right now for sending his things back with no heads up, but i had to do what I had to do!
    Do I miss him? yeah everyday but i miss my peace of mind even more and he has taken that away from me for way too long now!

  1965. #1965 by saggi81 on August 12, 2010 - 1:01 pm

    @lisa

    yeah.. my internet is lagging! really appreciate ur concern! i have tried to back off and lead my happy life before. 3 times in fact. each time he comes back begging for months before i give in. maybe i have a heart too tender? i know very well he is just waiting for me to adapt; i m not giving in yet, he is slowly adjusting that i can feel but not fast enough for my standard!

  1966. #1966 by Lisa on August 12, 2010 - 1:02 pm

    @ tinker

    Good for you, keep it up. So what if you pissed him off, and he was just a “good boy” towards you, don’t think so!!! He deserves to be pissed off, that is all I am saying, at the end of the day it is just his male ego being bruised, i.e. being dumped. Let him stew!!!!

    Good gal is all I am saying!!!!!

  1967. #1967 by Lisa on August 12, 2010 - 1:10 pm

    @ saggi81

    Hahaha don’t we just love the internet, no biggie.

    All I am saying is I hope for your sake he is worth investing in and that he is really adjusting to you. I know these men are a bit slow in regards to change. But I still would keep my distance as he needs to work for it and hey, that might even get him to sped things up, heck, I would even tell him that you went on a date. I did that to my bull, when in fact i was at home, he did not like that at all, hehehe. Guess I am a bit evil at times. But try to not let his actions affect you the way they have done, I know it is hard.

  1968. #1968 by saggi81 on August 12, 2010 - 1:20 pm

    @tinker

    hey babe, my connection is bad here but shall see u online soon. enjoy the love and peace. i was happier when he was out!

    @lisa

    thanks honey. i think he is not worth the effort to most, did peep say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. some chemistry me n that bull share yet its too tiring to bear. i shall retreat cuz i dont see any point pursuing a friendship/relationship. i will wait even if it means he will forget me so be it. he hasnt for the past 3 years so i hav nothing to lose. he had the cheek to ask me what made me distance from him suddenly. thats how thick the skull is. i wonder how fiancee lady can live up to this.

  1969. #1969 by Lisa on August 12, 2010 - 1:50 pm

    @saggi81

    I think that is a very good strategy, to just pull away. And then you might even meet soemone else, who knows???? If he hasn’t realized why you are pulling away, then I don’t know what… Don’t sweat it, I mean we are all in the same boat with our men, no matter what star sign they are, there is something that attracts us to eachother.

    I told my bull after our last battle of wills about two months ago that I was hurting from the things that had been said, my stepmom even said to tell him “I am hurting, back off, I will contact you if I feel up to it in the future” but I didn’t have the guts to write that to him…. I think he got the message anyways.

    My worry is that he will just keep playing this game, as he has the cake and eats it with his fiancee at home and you. It is not fair to you nor her and he should man up and take a stand, I just worry you are wasting your time, three years is a very long time.

  1970. #1970 by saggi81 on August 13, 2010 - 12:26 am

    @tinker

    is that yahoo im or msn? ๐Ÿ™‚

    @lisa

    he does have some attention problem but i guess i am done with the hell ride. even as platonic friends it has not been easy.

  1971. #1971 by Tinker on August 13, 2010 - 8:37 am

    Saggi81
    Morning hun it’s my hotmail msn account!

  1972. #1972 by Miss E the Virgo on August 14, 2010 - 8:45 am

    Hey Folks,

    Thank Goodness I found you guys. I’ve been seeing Mr. Popular Taurus Man for about 2 weeks now. When I say seeing…well let me give you the background first. We went to the same elementary and middle school together and in high school all of my same friends, to this day, went to his school but we NEVER I mean NEVER probably even spoke of each others name. We’ve been friends on facebook for a while now but just two weeks ago we were online at the sametime a few times and two days of casual chatting turned into him coming over and me cooking buffalo wings at like 4am. This was the first time I seen him in over 4 or 5 yrs (I’m only 22) but I instantly got this gut feeling like WOW I really like him Could he be the one? I have been threw SOO much. I probably have one of the worst relationship history in America. I was ready and had a plan to be by myself for the rest of my life not to mention that a lot of my relationship mishaps have been the result of moving way to fast, so patience is not a problem and from reading what some of you had to say I think I’m going to need LOTS of it. I aslo read that I should basically have something to keep my mind off him…Does school count? I’m a nursing major and I work full-time do you guys think that will be enough? Anyway, I just need some advice. I for some reason really want this to grow into something. For the past two weeks he has came over maybe 5 times, but it was always at night and he always spends the night…Do you think that means he only wants to get in my pants? I asked him to do lunch with me Friday if he wasn’t busy but he was leaving town Thursday night. When he told me I sent a ๐Ÿ˜ฆ and he sent one back saying he’ll be back Sunday. I didn’t catch myself until it was too late but I think I made myself seem a bit needy I followed up with a text saying I’m still sad but dinner will be waiting. He replied by saying he won’t be gone for to long…What do you guys think? I’m thinking about rescheduling with him, thats if hits me up, by saying I have to work in the morning, which I really do, just so I don’t seem always available. One more thing we NEVER actually talk unless we’re in person we always text each other. Maybe I just need to relax. HHHHEEELLP!!!!

  1973. #1973 by Lisa on August 14, 2010 - 11:07 am

    Dear Miss E the Virgo

    Welcome and congrats on the guy. I totally understand your insecurities in regards to relationships if you have had bad relationships previously, but it takes two to tango so I am sure you are not the only one at fault.

    I think you just need to chill a bit to me it doesn’t seem strange at all and at the end of the day it has only been two weeks. To me it seems that you are quite a lot in touch by the sounds of it. You are spot on not being too available, but I think with both school and full-time work you have enough on your plate.

    Just out of curiosity, does it feel weird now when you have gone from friends to potentially being in a relationship? Reason I am asking is that this is the same that happened with my bull, but to us it didn’t feel weird.

    Girl, all you need to do now is take it easy and not rush into anything, I used to have the tendency to do so, so I am actually learning form my Taurus. The ways you communicate is up to you two, no one else.

    My only concern here is that he might, as you so rightly put it, just want to get into your pants. My advise to you here is to try and slow this down, I know it is easier said than done. But try and meet at the movies, go bowling or something to get out of this, otherwise there is a risk this will only be a “friends with benefits” realtionship and that is not what you want. Do not worry abotu the “needy” comment, we all do those, and right now you are learning to communicate with this guy. But I would say stop giving him invites for dinner and so on, my advise is that the next time you see him, do ti for lunch, again this goes along the lines of doing stuff together OUTSIDE your house.

    Hope this helps!

  1974. #1974 by Miss E on August 14, 2010 - 11:55 am

    Dear Lisa

    You hit it right on the nose. After thinking about it I see myself falling back in my old steps of moving to fast. Slowing things down is exactly what I need to do. Like you said easier said than done, so thank goodness fall semester is starting. Speaking of fall semester, I don’t wanna seem to available, but he still has one year left in school, so he’s going to be going back to VA within the next two weeks. I live in DC, which is about 4 hours away from his school. I guess I don’t want him to go back to school and forget about me. He told me whenever I decide to take that ride to let him know. I think that was an invite to come see him in his own Taurus way because of course he’s not going to come out and say that, at least I don’t think. How do you think I should handle this situation? As for the feeling weird, not at all it’s more of a sit back in laugh bacause who would have even imagine us two together. FYI you were a BIG help you made me see a few things a bit more clear. ๐Ÿ™‚

  1975. #1975 by Lisa on August 14, 2010 - 12:43 pm

    Dear Miss E,

    Glad to be at help, trust me I recognized myself in you with the โ€œrushing thingโ€ it is hard when you naturally want to move faster but at the end of the day isnโ€™t it better to build a solid foundation to things? I compare it to building a house, would you want to build a house on a โ€œcrappyโ€ foundation, of course not!!! Why build a relationship on that then?

    You are the one who has to work on not falling into your old patterns, it is hard initially but trust me, you will get used to it, I did and I am THE most impatient person on the face of this earth, focus on the end result, that is what I did.

    Funny the two of you said the same as my bull and I did, we have known each other for over 10 years now (I used to live in the same city as he does) we have on several occasions said โ€œwhy didnโ€™t we do this sooner?โ€ None of us can answer that, lol.

    I think it is good that you two are in different states, even though they are next to each other, this will also help things to slow down, increase communication=trust and honesty. My advice for you here is that you two need to develop a very strong trust for each other and be honest at all times.

    For example with mine, we are in two different countries with five hours time difference, but we both know that neither of us is out dating/meeting other people/sleeping around. It is crucial to have this trust, and the only way you can develop that is through communication, no buts about that, and by being four hours away you will be forced to do this, you might see each other once a month or less, so how else will you be able to move things forward? This is not a bad thing at all, having this trust is an amazing feeling, and even better, youโ€™ll like this, it has calmed and slowed me down, which I am sure will happen to you too.

    What kind of common interests do you have? Why I am asking is that in my case we have several common interests, for example, we are both addicted to music and we can sit in front of the computer and message each other which track we are listening to and then the other person goes and looks it up. Small things like this makes you grow closer.

    And if you arenโ€™t in touch for a few days, do not freak out, he might be busy, I used to do this (dunno how my bull put up with that, but he did, must be something wrong with him, lol) we are all busy and with your crazy schedule I am sure you will be the one not initiating contact at all times. It is good for them to miss you, I mean if you had your favorite meal every day, you wouldnโ€™t appreciate and miss it? Of course not, youโ€™d be fed up with it. This is a mistake I did initially, I was too much in touch with him and if I didnโ€™t hear anything immediately I freaked out. Now I am at the point where I initiate minimum contact, and it works very well I have to say.

    Hope this has helped, I know it is not easy but it is worth it, and in both our cases I think you think twice before giving up/start things, as there is a friendship at stake as well.

  1976. #1976 by Enigma on August 15, 2010 - 2:11 am

    Hello lovely ladies, and courtly Taurus gents. I have been reading through this blog for a while now. I am itching to post my situation, but at the risk of sounding like something out of a Jackie Collins novel, I don’t see how I can. My Taurus is a famous man( in his industry) and I am the only woman who does what I do in that industry… Which comes with a certain high profile. In my case truth is very much. Stranger than fiction. And as our situation is so unusual, I am very warey about publishing anything on the internet. The reason I am doing this now, is I would dearly like some advice from Jess, and the 2 no bulkshit Taurus men that have posted here. Is there any way I can privately contact you, especially Jess?
    Thank you, and remember Girls, the more time you spend trying to work out where someone else is at, the less time you have for working out where you are at. Find that out, and things will get easier:))))

  1977. #1977 by saggi81 on August 16, 2010 - 1:12 am

    Miss E

    hi there! glad u found us early, haha i think i have no ideas how to get close to them as much as i want, but i cant get rid of him (my bull) either. as i have had a lot of time, i have experimented, be it deliberate or accidentally. if he likes u enough, he will NEVER be done with u, no matter how u hide (change your messenger/mobile no.) he will find u! if he is busy, no matter how i text him (sweet or bitter), multiple missed calls (day or night) its silence.

    i used to think he was only interested in “getting into pants” but i m starting to believe him. anyway i didnt give in until long after and now we are “supposed” to be telepathic having known each other for VERY long. he seems to measure relationship with time. seriously. not the best interpretation for sag believe me. now i reached a new stage of r/s with him and i m stunned. will elaborate soon. gd luck girl – dont give in too much, they take advantage! but if they really love u, they can be quite tolerant.

  1978. #1978 by Tinker on August 16, 2010 - 9:27 am

    Saggi81

    hey you, have not heard from you on my personal email, I have so much I want to ask you about that i’m pretty sure only you will know!
    Are you telling me that no matter how crude or nasty i am going to be to him, he is petentially still going to keep contacting me? there would have been a time when I would have been tottally flattered about that possibility, but right now I could not think of anything worse then havin to put up with his bi-polor personality indefinitely, i’m so looking forward to moving on right now its crazy, he is being very quiet at the moment, I did send him a long email last tuesday just tying up some loose ends and letting him know in lamens terms exactly what i thought of him, and even though he has contacted me since the email, our last conversation was very distant and he seems quite arrogant and full of himself hence why I have not bothered making any further contact and don’t plan to.

    After what you said though it got me thinking is this just the calm before the storm?

  1979. #1979 by lovelypi on August 17, 2010 - 12:34 am

    Hello ladies. Finally made it here. Blessings and miracles to you all. Have so enjoyed this thread which I have been following for quite some time but without the urge for input. Until now. LOL Yes, sweet Jesus the man working my last nerve right now is a Taurus. Talk about hot mess high maintenance! And weโ€™re (us ladies who love and put up with them) the ones with the drama issues? On what damn planet? LOL I know we women have our stuff to recognize and take responsibility for in our relationships with these beautiful bulls but can a girl get a break once in a while from wearing the โ€œput-up-with-his-moods-disappearing-for-days-on-end-at-a-dime-controlling-possesive-tantrum-throwing-needs-24/7-reassurance-that-WE-can-be-trusted-but-he-needs-me-to-walk-through-fire-to-earn-his-love cape?โ€ Whew! LOL

    Anywayโ€ฆyesโ€ฆI have bull man drama going on and I find this to be the perfect place to vent. I will try to keep myself contained even though at this moment I am so irritated with my bull that I want to smack the taste outta his damn mouth. Ugh! So we have been together a little over a month. Very new. We met online and it was like fate. We talked for hours on end for days during the first week of meeting. Intense conversations brought about by us playing a game of 20 questions which my T went along with gladly so that according to him I would know he was serious and for real with no lying (this because I caught him by accident misrepresenting some information to me and so I called him on his BS and the question thing came about.) I asked questions that could be โ€œverifiedโ€ with a little digging if need be and found he had told me the truth about everything I asked him. I was definitely impressed given that frauds and liars had been in my orbit rather a lot at that time.

    Then came the phone calls, texts, etc. You should know we are a long distance thing so we do have some odds stacked against us from the start. But we talked about it. In fact it seemed like we talked about everything that is initially important as far as facts that are needed about someone up front. Then he dropped the L word on me. Blew me over. Then he talked about us getting married, kids, and the whole shebang. I have never taken any of this completely seriously given the newness of our friendship leading to possibly more, but he has reiterated the L word several times since then and without any prompting from me. He is single, never married, no kids. Has a job, a car and his own place. Weird? God yes. Sexy, sweet, funny? Absolutely. We have found ways to be as intimate as we can given our distance issue. LOL And while I could use that as a reason to be insecure because we have yet to truly be physically intimate (an important part of being with a bull) I donโ€™t believe he is sleeping with anyone else. I could be wrong but I am not stressing over it one way or the other.

    Things were going well and communication was good until about a week ago. He started doing the hit and run thing with his texts and phone calls. Suddenly things started popping up that were cutting into our time to connect. I didnโ€™t go crazy chick on him either. Took it all calm and ladylike. Even let him stew for a few days (not on purpose actually but that is another story) and he was blowing up phone, text and email. I did have a moment (no yelling, still ladylike) where I let him know I did not appreciate him shutting down on me, especially when I was under the impression he wasnโ€™t well. That got a few apologies for being inconsiderate. But back to last weekโ€ฆso he keeps doing drive-bys while I am patient as pie until the other day when I reacted to his behavior. Again, no going berserk. He texted that he wanted to know when we would talk again (remember, heโ€™s had opportunities all week that he blew off for one thoughtless reason or another without confrontation) and I told him later that day as I had plans with friends. He was like okay; let me know when youโ€™re done. I asked him if he was sure he was going to be around and said his standard yeah. So when I get home I need a shower. I text tell him I am home and that I had a good time. Was taking a shower and would call when I got out. Got out and guess what? His ass was nowhere to be found after letting him know I was free. I know this is his controlling the situation. Anyway, I waited for acknowledgement that did not come. The friends I had spent the day with invited me to a party. I texted him that something seemed to have come up for him, how I was looking forward to us getting some quality time but since it wasnโ€™t happening I was going out with the friends. Told him to have a good night and he and I would hook up later. He replies a bit later that something came up at work. I told him I understand and that it was all good. Since then havenโ€™t heard a peep from him going on 2 days now. Yes, I know, his ego is wounded because he thinks I โ€œabandonedโ€ him to be with others never mind that he had abandoned me for nearly a week right before. Yes, he is also jealous and his silence is either him figuring out how to get back in my good graces cuz he knows he fu*ked up or heโ€™s trying to test me and/or punish me for not acting right. Should I be putting up with this from him so soon? Is this how you treat someone you claim to love?

  1980. #1980 by saggi81 on August 17, 2010 - 2:09 am

    @tinker

    hey babe! sorry! my msn is not working so well, will try in a few hours! yahoo messenger by any chance? i m at a all time lowish (not the lowest) with him. hmm i wish i can upload a graph representation. haha. yes! the calm before storm as u rightly put. i need to check if anyone managed to get rid of their bulls? how long does it take etc? i tried a total of 2 years + 3 years – none worked.

  1981. #1981 by saggi81 on August 17, 2010 - 2:24 am

    @lovelypi

    hey there! welcome girl. this is the so called cool-off peroid to them. just remain very calm and wait out, if u wish u can drop hints about needing to communicate. trust me, 2 days arent very long to them!

    yes, this is likely how they treat girls they claim they love. however much we refuse to believe it. they r really stubborn and fixated. argh. loves me, loves me not, loves me, loves me not… just drives me crazy if i m being over analytical. so like i said i chose whatever interpretation tt made us happier: to trust him!

  1982. #1982 by Tinker on August 17, 2010 - 10:38 am

    Saggi81

    Well i’m on a perminant all time low with the idiot, we just don’t get along and that is that and if he ever does contact me again then I will tell him just that, we cant just keep going on like this forever it’s not normal, may I remind you that we are talking about a man who is nearly 50 for God sake, I mean what gives? have not heard a peep since last Wednesday, I did get two missed called from a number i don’t recognize at nearly two in the morning, thought of him as he does have two phones and he never sleeps so only he would call me at that time of the morning cos he has no sense! ๐Ÿ™‚

    will try and set up a yahoo for ya hun!

    lovelypi
    Welcome to the wonderful world of bulls my luv, don’t you just love them already hun? lol lol ๐Ÿ™‚ your story is typical and you should be quite pleased by now that you have a typical bull on your hands and this baby is just how they roll! pull push, push pull till one of you gets tired of it all!
    Wish I knew why they behaved like this or how by us sticking with them through this trying period, it proves we are worth it, all it proves is we have too much time on our hands and we love a challenge as much as they do! ๐Ÿ™‚

    I tell you what the joke is, ask him why he does the things he does and say’s the things he say’s and he will either tell you he don’t know or smile and act cute like he don’t know what he is doing! I caught my idiot out a little while ago on this very same question, and he try act cute with me, cos we were in my house and he knows I got new knives in my kitchen! I told that man there and then that I was now aware if his behavior issues and it no longer washes with me cos he knows exactly what he is doing! let me tell you he laughed his arse off, cos he knew he was had and I was done!
    Do not under estimate these men, they are not stupid and are fully aware of what they are doing, treat them mean keep them keen is in all their DNA and they live by this rule to the letter.

  1983. #1983 by Tinker on August 17, 2010 - 12:04 pm

    saggi81

    my yahoo address is: tinker.hell33@yahoo.co.uk

  1984. #1984 by Lisa on August 17, 2010 - 4:36 pm

    @ Lovelypi

    Welcome to the rollercoaster ride which is hard to get off, lol.

    My advise to you is to give back with his own medicine, in the case with my bull, it is working, he is the one caving in. I am quite stubborn once I make my mind up, and he has realized that and also do not beg and aplogize for anything.

    Very good that you abandoned him for friends, see you are already giving him of his own medicine, very good!!!! By giving him back of his own medicine, the disappearing act will diffuse by time, in the case of my bull, once I cracked that code and had him initiating all contact, except if I really need to ask him something (my bull has known me for 10 years and before all the hooh-ha we were very good friends, he is the person on the face of this earth who knows me the best) he is in touch every day.

    Look at the bright side he has told you he loves you, which in itself is a major thing!!!

    I totally understand your long-distance situation, I am in the same boat and yup it sucks BIG TIME but at the same time it will give you the power in a way as he does not have you right there so you can say or do whatever you want, how can he check??? lol

    At one point my bull saw a post from one of my friends on Facebook asking how the date had been, and he said to me a few days after my friend posted (bet you he had been waiting to find out) “oh I saw something on FB about you being on a date the other day” he couldn’t say anything as he was the one telling me we were not in a relationship, but I know for a fact it annoyed him. The truth is that I was out with the friend who posted on my wall, but we were just giving back as he had done his disappearing act for a few days.

    I don’t know who of these wise girls wrote this “treat them mean, keep them keen” but in the case of the bulls this is so true. The latest disappearing act form my bull was on day, we shall see if he keeps up his “good” behavior.

    But as frustrating as they can be, I have to give my bull a lot of credit (please do not get angry with me girls, lol) as he is a huge support to me at the moment, I am going through a very hard time and without him, I wouldn’t be where I am, he is supporting me so much he is there for me, I can cry, be pissed off or just plain frustrated, but he is there for me. And this support makes me forgive him for the previous disappearing acts and dramas, he is there for me when it counts and that is what counts to me.

  1985. #1985 by saggi81 on August 18, 2010 - 3:39 am

    @tinker

    hey babe! i hav added u to my yahoo (different id XXXXXX4) – see ya online!

    @lisa

    great to know he is one that u can count on. hope u r feeling better!

  1986. #1986 by Beauty on September 3, 2010 - 6:15 pm

    Enigma,

    Are you an Aries, like Jess? It would be great if Kyle stilll posted on here, I enjoyed reading his post. He was a very honest Bull. This is my first time posting here, but I’ve been reading the posts for months now.

    I’m an Aries involved with an Taurus, so if you are in the same boat, and in need of some advice, just let me know and I can give you my email address.

    Take Care!

  1987. #1987 by saggi81 on September 4, 2010 - 2:18 am

    Hi guys and gals!

    its been so long, i’d better update a little.
    i am no good at playing mind games, so i hated all the little drama and pretence. he recently got mad at me – i wonder what i did to make him snap? about 1month ago, i merely suggested a diversion to a plan and he actually got upset. i have explained my reasons but he is doing his disappearing again. goodness arent they sensitive?! i am still waiting for his response. boy i m tired!

  1988. #1988 by soapopera on September 4, 2010 - 7:11 pm

    Hello all you fabulous women!!!!

    After religiously reading the posts from the beginning where Jess, Saggigirl, Baffled girl, Lionness, and Jane were the main characters, I empathized and was waiting to get to the very end to leave a reply. Then when Taurus guy appeared, I could not read as thoroughly and just sped read to leave a reply asap. I wanted to commend Tinker on her June 3/10 posting for talking about the Bull using us as “an emotional crutch” and Dianne on her June 8/10 posting for being so direct. I was almost even going to commend Taurus guy (Kyle) for giving us incite from a male bull perspective until the true male bull revealed himself in perpetuating the conflict with Dianne, on this supposed female venting support site. Let us all take a step back? Is this blog not like a soap opera where if one leaves it for a couple months or a year, nothing really changes and you can still follow along. So stop holding on to the words you want to hear and making excuses for the words you don’t want to hear. Don’t let your man get away with disrespectful behaviour because he is entitled to it just because he was born in April/May. Respect yourself instead of craving something you can’t fully get just because we hold on to the odd compliments. That is just bait to keep stringing us along until the Bull makes the final decision on his time. It takes two to play a game. I know I am repeating lots of wise words from previous people on this site but this is hopefully a condensed version for those who have no time to read the entire blog and for those who I want to see the light faster instead of wasting years off their precious lives due to stress. Thank you all for contributing to this site as I needed to read the postings so as not to personalize my own pain. I am writing to do my part in the process. Don’t obsess with what you cannot control; besides there are many blessings in disguise. You may just be missing the Scorpio next door.

  1989. #1989 by sweetpisces on September 5, 2010 - 6:17 pm

    Hey everyone! โค
    Wow, I really wish I'd found this page sooner!
    I went through my 3 breakup with my taurus last night, and I think it was the final one and I am crushed.

    The initial post of characteristics seems to almost completely describe my ex.

    Our relationship was so blissful in the beginning. He was the one that said the L word first, he was the one that talked about our future and settling down. I knew he got in moods where he wanted to withdraw from everything when he was unhappy and I just wanted to be there for him. And yeah, he was the type that didn't say much about his personal life. He was somewhat private, but did talk about family and friends.

    We were in a long distance relationship and I couldn't understand why we would fight. I felt like I was more into relationship as the months and year passed on, but on the other hand, he was the one that made the effort to drive and spend every weekend with me and we talked all the time. I think I wanted more. It had to with affection and being more appreciated, it didn't seem like he expressed it enough, but I thought I shouldn't read into it, that's just how he is and all the other stuff counts for more. Obviously he loves me.

    Our first break up was this huge drunken blowout. Almost immediately we started talking again. He was upset he left me, was going on this drunken spiral. We made up about a month later.
    This last time, I was talking about commitment and our future, and he shocked me when he said he hates his life and doesn't see a future in anything. Nothing to do with me, but he's just not motivated for anything. It somehow started a fight, because I felt betrayed. After a week of not talking to me, he decided that we were too different and it was best to break up. Then a week later he apologized for being so hasty and not communicating how he was feeling, when he knows that's the right thing to do. I apologize, I can't remember all the details of the break up, but I remember telling him that he's focusing on all the negatives and convincing himself we're not right for each other. And then he ended up coming back.
    Last night, it was about other girls. I found out he had lied to me when we had gotten back together this second time. When we got back together, we were taking it slow. I asked him if we were just talking and seeing other people, and he said no, we were exclusive. Come to find out he was talking to someone else. He basically just didn't want me doing the same thing. Nothing happened with them, they were just talking, but I felt betrayed. All I wanted was an apology and for him to say it'll never happen again even if he didn't mean it. And I told him that too when he broke up with me last night. Anyway, so for the week, I was a bit upset and he said he understood why I was mad. I ended up apologizing for being mad, but still couldn't take why he had no empathy or remorse. We fought friday night. Saturday night, I already knew. When he gives me the silent treatment, I know he's back to convincing himself. He ended up saying that he's just so bored where he lives and he feels that his friends are doing more, he doesn't want to settle down yet, he's still young, and about other girls.. he likes to text random girls he meets when he's bored and drunk, but he never meets up with them, he's never cheated. I fully trust that, but still..It's unacceptable! I couldn't understand why he couldn't do that with me. I love and enjoy every part of him. He knew that. So really all I'm seeing is that he's selfish, just enjoys being wanted. I don't even know if he really loved me. He said he does, but that our relationship has run it's course.

    Why do I still want this guy? Everything seemed perfect when we were together, but hard when we were apart. And the things he said last night about our life together, I'm not sure if he was being negative to push me away or if that's how he really feels. I wish we lived in the same city and could sit and talk. I wish he was more open or caring. I was always there for him, loved him, and he knew I would do anything for him. I deserve the same thing and don't see it as unreasonable to want that.
    What do I do? I wish there was more I could say to him, I wish there were a fourth chance, even though I told myself if he leaves me a 3rd time, that's it. But this time, I don't think it should've happened. But in the end, if he's feeling all these things about his life and being held back by me, I can't blame him right? Even though I would never hold him back from anything.

    It sounds bad, and I know I only feel this because I'm hurt.. but I hope that his life is still just as boring and empty without me. No one is going to compare to me. He had everything with me.

  1990. #1990 by sweetpisces on September 5, 2010 - 6:40 pm

    ๐Ÿ™‚ I should’ve thoroughly read these posts.. which I just now did.
    Thank you to Diane and Tinker for their July 7th posts.

  1991. #1991 by Tinker on September 15, 2010 - 3:32 pm

    @sweetpisces

    Hey hun just checking on how your doing, I have only just read your comment and i’m sorry you are hurting but this is the life of bulls hun, what can I say, it’s not easy as break ups never are but this guy does sound like he is hot and cold a lot and us piceans need stability and lots of it!
    Have things progressed any since your last post? let me know how you are and how it’s all going hun!

    Me and my bull departed ways quite resently too as i found out he was not my bull at all but someone elses all this time! needless to say world war three erupted and he has now accused me of ruining his life, when he has been the one leading a double life all this time, but dont worry, I sorted him out good and proper and all concerned too, don’t think he will be darkening my door anytime soon and good riddance to bad rubbish i say!

  1992. #1992 by sweetpisces on September 15, 2010 - 9:21 pm

    Hi Tinker!
    The weirdest thing… after cutting off my ties from him, he emailed the other day bascially sounding like he regretted being so hasty in his decision, but then never cared to elaborate or say anything else. It was just like, “I should’ve thought first, but instead I didn’t as usual.” Stuff like that. Finally I sent him a text today asking what the point of that was because nothing had changed. I cannot stand when he would beat around the bush; saying things and having me force out what it is he needed to say. It sounds like we’re going to make amends, and as much as I’d love that, he really needs to think about it. I can’t keep going back and forth and taking blame for holding him back to only have him say he didn’t mean it in the first place. I’ll keep you posted… after that text, he said he would call me tonight.

  1993. #1993 by saggi81 on September 16, 2010 - 1:49 am

    Hi guys and gals

    I am back! seriously, they cant make up their minds and they r VERY stubborn. do not expect them to change, like my bull friend said – do not expect too much of me. well hell yeah, i have not! i just thought things would improve after he realised life sucked without me. but guess he is trying to modify me to suit him and i m on the other hand trying that too. what a power struggle.

    just take heart, they dont really change so its either we take it or leave it. ๐Ÿ™‚

  1994. #1994 by Tinker on September 16, 2010 - 8:49 am

    @sweetpisces
    Well he made contact which is all you can expect from these men, he is obviously still trying to workout how you fit into his life or what the hell he is going to do with you, when he figures it out hun i’m sure you will be the last to know, after of course you have cornered him and asked him about it a zillion times, I know you know what i’m saying is true and you have had first hand experiance of the pulling teeth syndrome to get anything out of them ! lol lol lol ๐Ÿ™‚
    Just make sure your happy about things and it’s what you want, as to be honest it does not sound like he knows what he wants, but in my ones case he wanted too much and got too greedy! He came down with a BIG BUMP i can tell you!

    As Saggi81 says they really dont change hun, so if you can deal with this, as in how things are now, forever, then go for it hun, I wish you all the best, cos sometimes this is as good as it gets. ๐Ÿ™‚

  1995. #1995 by sweetpisces on September 16, 2010 - 6:08 pm

    Tinker, Saggi, and everyone…
    Tinker, you had me smiling ear to ear and laughing out loud. I feel like I am the last to know and IT IS like pulling teeth! I didn’t get to talk to him last night, but then we were texting each other for a bit and it was just talking in circles. So frustrating. I get that he is the way that he is, but it’s in regard to things that matter, you need to be straightforward. Too much to ask, I suppose. He asked to call me today now, and I said no it’s ok. I can tell he is confused.

  1996. #1996 by Tinker on September 17, 2010 - 8:53 am

    @sweetpisces,
    Yes, they were born confused, that just happens to be ONE of their many character flaws! you really will need a saints patients to deal with that one as he is quite clearly backwards in coming forward, and as a fellow picean I know we have endurance in abundance!
    Lets keep our fingers and toes crossed that you have a better ending then mine my luv, try not to get too caught up in the push pull syndrome that these guys love to create, as I have come to realise it is just a stalling mechanism so they can keep us always wanting a little bit more ๐Ÿ™‚

  1997. #1997 by Leo-lady_d on September 19, 2010 - 9:57 am

    Well, its refreshing to see that I am not the only one dealing with these issues. My (ex)Taurus spotted me two months ago and asked a few people in town if the knew me, alot of people approached me and informed that this guy wanted to meet me but I said im not interested, eventually a friend of mine 3 weeks ago set us up on a double date with him. I found that we had great chemistry and so forth, he called the next day for a date, etc, were seeing eachother every day for the first ten day, he kind of gave me no choice but to actually meet up with him, so extremely persistent. Suddenly I find I only see him in the afternoons as he comes by my office for a coffee at around the same time every day.

    For two days he doesnt make plans for the evening and I dont complain, and the he keeps dodging my evening calls altogether for the next week but still shows up at my office, as I work alone and my door is always open. I cofronted him and he says that he feels pressured because I ask him where he is at and what he is up to…..,, :S when we chat on the phone, so for the past two days when he called me I asked absolutely no questions, not even how he is incase he feels pressure. Yesterday he got angry because I was giving him yes or no answers and refused to go shopping with him because I needed to rest, so I called him a couple of hours later and said we have to chat and he said he would call to set a time for that night, coincidentally I saw him an hour after that at a resataurant with his best friend which is a girl recently broken up after a 10 year relationship and has quite a snotty attitude towards me. I chatted with them for a short while about the weather and he said hed call me.

    At about 11 pm last night I got agitated and sent him an sms saying he must quit beating around the bush and admit that he lost interest after we jumped in the sack together and that I have done nothing to deserve this treatment. He replies with a question namely…..Is that what u understood?………………………………………….. I replied about an hour ago and said “I cant be bothered with ur lame excuses anymore, goodbye and good luck”

    My point in all this is that I should have trusted my instinct from the beginning, It weirded me out that he asked so many people about me and acted like a fool head over heels in love/infatuation with me even before we ever exchanged glances, btw Im 26 and he is 38. I wouldve thought that he was mature and had a mature outlook……

  1998. #1998 by sweetpisces on September 19, 2010 - 5:34 pm

    Hi Leo-Lady D!
    That text sounds too much like ones I get from my ex. Whenever I’d tell it like it is, he would text back with, Is that what you think? Answering questions with questions. It’s soo frustrating. I finally looked at his actions and not his words, which just end up confusing me. I cut off all ties last night; he kept trying to pursue being friends which I’m not ready for. His mindgames were agitating me too.

  1999. #1999 by Tinker on September 20, 2010 - 9:25 am

    Hello Leo-Lady
    Yes this behaviour is typical of the Taurus Male. If you go back over Dianes very first post, you will hear her describe this very thing, it’s all about newness with them, when someone is new, smell new, taste new, all shiny and new, and it’s almost like as soon as they get to take the wrapper off, they are over it! For these guys it’s all about the chase and not necessarily the catch!
    And as soon as we start to take an interest in their lives and what they are doing we get accused of interrogating them! if i asked my ex what he had for lunch today he would politely ask me if i ever considered a role in law inforcement! I laughed about it at the time but when i left the relationship it got me thinking “was this guy for real?” and it would also explain why he would never question me as to what I was doing cos he didn’t want me to ask him anything! hence why I only got YES and NO answers, as not to trip is own arse up!

    My ex pursued me like he was going mad, the man would text, call and email all at the same time sometimes, it was deep, but lo and behold as soon as I gave up the goods he became as silent as the mice at night!
    And like you I was not even interested in him when we met, but they have a way of getting under your skin because they are all worms! ๐Ÿ™‚ The guy sounds like a game player hun and they will play the game with you for as long as you allow them to, if i had not found out about my one being engaged he would still be playing games with me all now! but no! shut that boy down and left him crying into his soup! and he was no child either hun, he was 46 YRS old! they are disgusting type arsehole men and i am done with the likes of them! next Taurus that even thinks about talking to me will be talking to my arse
    ๐Ÿ™‚ as I politely walk away.

  2000. #2000 by Leo-lady_d on September 20, 2010 - 12:56 pm

    Hi again

    Well after i sent the break up message he called a few hours later and I answered, I agreed to meet up with him for coffee. As soon as we sat at the table he tried to give a million excuses on why he ignored my texts’ and calls, I cut him off and said it was the first time and he is excused, but the next time he FAILS to answer a call or dial my number within a 12 hour period then he better hope its because his fingers are not working and he can prove it medically. In other words I really dont care for the reason and will not be understanding. Basically we started off with me being the understanding and sweet one but now I just said its my way or the highway.

    From all the posts I understand that this is a pattern as far as these tauruses are concerned, so I am wary, but I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. I guess with us women the less we care about the man the easier it is to handle them. I was emotionally manipulated in my previous relationship and so this time I am not accepting less than I think I deserve……… so we will see where this story goes…

    to sweetpisces, Ive had many pisces friends and the majority are very sensitive, honest and faithful as girlfriends, Ive read most of your posts, I hope u finally get away and start dating again, a saying where I come from says love can only be cured with love, there is nothing as powerful as love but there are types orf love….. sincere love is more powerful than obsessive love and it will always win if u give it a chance, u have to get out there and cut your taurus from ur life for good, ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Tinker Im sorry u had to go through that, the issue with us wanting to know things is just a way of picking a topic of conversation, and they really do not get that, a very good friend of mine is a taurus and when ever someone asks her where she was or smthing most of the time she had a temper tantrum, especially when someone asked her what she ate cause she was an emotional eater so it really stirred her up. So basically we now know that whenever someone avoids answering questions its because they are hiding something….hmmm,, so if your guy was engaged he probably avoided telling you what he ate so the convo wouldnt lead to who he ate with…. think about it….

    And just to sum up a quote dedicated to all women that have sufferred by a man’s stupidity, “the guy that makes you cry does not deserve you and the one that deserves u will never make you cry.”

  2001. #2001 by lovelypi on September 20, 2010 - 8:02 pm

    Hi ladies. Havenโ€™t been on for a while but have kept up to date with the comments. While I am in no way an authority on Taurus males (what women could be โ€“ lol) I have to admit that my learning experience on this board and elsewhere has given me a little bit of insight as to how to handle them if you WANT to hang in there because you think the effort will be worth it when all is said and done. Lord knows these men will try the last nerveโ€™s last nerve and I have nothing but love for those women who fought the good fight but had to say enough with the drama whether it was intentional or not where liking/loving these guys are concerned.

    My Taurus guy is very much like all the rest more or less with a few exceptions. Like, for instance, when I have called him out on things that I did not like or appreciate in terms of respecting me and my feelings he immediately apologized for his actions with sincerity. Also, while getting him to verbalize all that he may be feeling about me, us, etc. as consistently as I myself can, he has told me more than once and for a Taurus man with some regularity (without prompting or pushing from me at all) that he loves me. This I am actually most surprised at because he was able to express the words more easily then most given the countless stories I have read of how these guys will, can and do keep a woman waiting on her โ€œstatusโ€ in his life like he hasnโ€™t got a care in the world. I donโ€™t get it every day mind you, but I do get it enough for me to feel his words are from the heart. Now this does not mean I still donโ€™t get the hot/cold or push/pull treatment because I do. LOL But since I know I need patience and that HE ISNโ€™T CHANGING, I was the one who had too for my own sanity while we continue to build our trust and friendship up day by day with some days better than others. The best advice I can pass along as was done to me was to let him initiate contact with you because yes, patience is the virtue we all need in dealing with this man in order to keep us from that jail mugs hot for murder 1! LOL I stopped all the initiating and let him come to me on his time and terms. Selfish and unfair? Absolutely. However, I havenโ€™t had to wait longer than 3 days at the most before heโ€™s all up in my grill wanting to know what Iโ€™m doing, who I am doing it with, etc. Let him miss YOU no matter how much more you may miss him. Forget the nagging and going off because no that doesnโ€™t seem to work, at least not with my Bull. I let him roam the pasture (and yes he could be with another woman for all I know heโ€™s a man of course, but if I am the one who gains his love, trust, friendship and he falls in love with me in the end, then all the other โ€œheffasโ€ wonโ€™t matter because only when the Bull is IN LOVE does any of that commitment loyalty stuff seem to apply. Until then in his mind he is a โ€œfree agentโ€ no matter how much he cares about you the grass is always greener syndrome remains in effect. The point I guess is to make sure you come out the โ€œgreenestโ€ one in the bunch if he is the man you want and no other. Also, my Bull and I have yet to be intimate so my chances of him being with someone else to fulfill those base urges/needs is likely higher than those who have had the pleasure, but in not having me on his terms but on mine (and the day is coming and he is anticipating it like a kid at Christmas) he still is opening up to me of his own accord little by little, making the effort to keep me close, and again, confirming his love for me without me ever having to ask him for reassurance of it. I donโ€™t demand I โ€œpersuadeโ€ him into another way of thinking and I never tell him what to do but let him process what he needs to come to his own conclusion about me, him and us. In the end it could all fall apart for us because nothing is guaranteed. But I respect him, make him respect me, give him his space (cuz I like mine too) and let him come to me on his own while living my life (and let him know it) on my time and terms with or without him. Hope some of what I shared helps someone.

  2002. #2002 by Leo_lady-D on September 23, 2010 - 1:24 pm

    Well, ladies you were all right, I thought I had my problem solved there a few days ago by breaking up with my bull and then letting him back a few hours later, believing that he would realise that he doesnโ€™t want to lose me and shape up, was I EVER more wrong about anything in my life?? I really donโ€™t think soโ€ฆ..

    So 4/5 days ago we make up and agree that we were both silly and will try to be more understanding, that was Sunday night, the next day I see him in the afternoon and all is well and we organise a trip for this weekend, Tuesday afternoon we see each other again and he promises me that we would have drinks that night and he would call me, he never called me that night and I get 2 text messages in the middle of the night, one at 2 am saying that he was feeling ill and one at 3 am saying how sorry he is and that it is his work schedule that makes him go to bed at 9 pm and wake up at 3 am (that is all a load of bullcโ€ฆp, he works freelance office hours) and that he will change it he promises and so forth. The next day. Which was yesterday, at our usual afternoon meeting up, he said that we will meet at 8 p.m., I ring him up at 8 and he was half asleep and he said give me 30 minutes to shower and Ill call u, at 9 p.m. I call him again and he is half asleep again, and says , yeah yeah Im getting up and will call you,โ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆ……. At 10 p.m.(which by this time for the first time in my life my face has gone a weird shade of red and I could have sworn that there was smoke coming out of my ears) I called three times and on the 3rd he answered and sarcastically asked if its illegal for someone to be in the shower without their phoneโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆ. I think I had a mini-stroke at this point (lol), I raised the tone of my voice, I mean this was two weeks of nagging that I had swallowed I couldnโ€™t keep it in anymore, and he closed the phone on me and wouldnโ€™t pick it up.

    Eventually I went to his house and even though I was calm and speaking in a cool manner and trying to explain to him why standing someone up is rude he kept on saying his own things which had nothing to do with meโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆ…….. I tried to leave (as in we are over, I am gone) and he wouldnโ€™t let me go at some point, so we both got to a point saying that we should just call it a day and speak about it the next day, he said though the trip is still on. Today he calls me and we meet up, he says we should postpone our trip for next weekend, I explain that I prefer not to because the same story will just repeat itself, maybe if we get away together we can connect, he said no, so I asked If he can guarantee that we will spend Friday and Saturday night together and he went ballistic on me, saying that he dislikes that I act like everything is contractual (I practice law) with meโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆ.. Well I asked him to leave and delete my numberโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆ.. SERIOUSLY ladies guard yourself against lunatics like these, wow there is a difference between being understanding and being a doormat.

    This guy had once complained that most women he meets are all fake and just after money, well to put up with this dude it probably is only money u could be afterโ€ฆโ€ฆ Oh and to top it all off weโ€™ve only slept together ONCE twenty days ago and he has been avoiding itโ€ฆโ€ฆI cant believe I actually gave him the benefit of a doubt, These people should come with a big red warning sign on their heads

  2003. #2003 by Tinker on September 23, 2010 - 2:59 pm

    Oh Leo-Lady!
    I was holding my breath for your happy ending, really I was, when he came back the way he did I really thought you could now take him seriously I did!
    But alas, he has turned out to be the game player that a lot of them are unfortunately and it is so so sad ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
    My ex messed me about something stupid, to the point where i saw a side to me that up to that point I didn’t know existed! that man brought out sides of me that im ashamed of I kid you not! they are so irritating with their quirky little comments and no care attitude!
    I gave him hell and made sure he was under no illusions how the way he bahaved affected me, do you think he ever stopped? Hell no, just kept on coming with one disappointment after the other, one broken promise after the next!
    The fact that he slept with you means nothing to him quite clearly, when i first slept with mine he didnt talk to me for about 2 weeks!!!! i felt like my world had crumbled, i didn’t know what i did wrong or right! he has a little weener so i thought maybe he was embarrassed, but how could he be when he came onto me?
    turns out he was just a dog who has no respect for himself or women” go figure!

    Well at least you know what he is like now before you got too involved with him, they show their tue colours pretty quick these men so i’ll give them that but thats all i’m giving then as they deserve nothing more then what they get hun! Keep your chin up and just thank god your not married and have children with the arsehole! ๐Ÿ™‚ it could be worse.

  2004. #2004 by Leo_lady-D on September 23, 2010 - 5:49 pm

    On. My Tinker, how long did this last with your Taurus, and I am extremely impressed now because mine also has a teeny weeny, lol, maybe itโ€™s the only way they think they can keep a women by giving it out like food at warโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆ.

  2005. #2005 by lovelypi on September 23, 2010 - 7:38 pm

    Sorry from me too Leo Lady. I always hope for the guy to come through especially when a good woman is the ultimate prize. But like Tinker said donโ€™t feel bad. I only speak of the current Taurus I am involved with (who could show his โ€œtrue colorsโ€ any day now too) but trust that I have been one of the biggest fools for a Taurean man given that I was in love with one for almost 20 years! We were never a couple only ever best friends off and on but that man ran me crazy from my high school days well into adulthood. He dated one of my good friends (a Scorp) and when I found out the ish he pulled on her I was more than grateful that my obsession with him never moved past friendship. We had a few โ€œencountersโ€ or tried to sexually but when we (I thought) were finally to have our moment, the a-hole not only had a little wiener but he fell asleep right after I satisfied him with nothing for me at all. I got my revenge but the cost was that he will likely never speak to me again โ€“ LOL. Talk about a fantasy turning into the ugly reality of how many of the Bull men can be. Hopefully these are the exceptions not the rule but one never knows. He didnโ€™t deserve you obviously and the girl who does get him (cause a woman isnโ€™t going to put up with that nonsense) will be the loser in the end because she wonโ€™t have had a prize to begin with.

  2006. #2006 by Leo_lady-D on September 24, 2010 - 3:21 pm

    Lovelypi, it is essential to be patient and so forth in relationships, I was with my previous relationship, a very egotistical leo, which after my experience with this Taurus does not seem bad at all, It took a while for my ex- leo to realise he loves me and me aswell as for the first few months of seeing eachother we were more competitive, career-wise (same career) and socially, he is the person I will always think of fondly and will always be there for me, through all the competition I think we connected on a completely different, intangible level but can never be partners, its weird, but I know he is my go to person when the tough gets going, I mean for really serious issues. Eventually with him only when I ended after being together for a year and a half he showed an intention to commit and for me it was too little too late, I was worn out, and could not trust the stability of his intentions. I guess many times when we have to try so hard for something as time goes by we have an illusion at the end that we will find something great but then when see that its nothing really that great and we get disappointed. Everything we go through is a learning process and our experiences are what makes us who we are. So I guess being graceful and independent as women can be the best thing and whoever is worth it will stick around even though there are a few bumps on the road.

    But this Taurus, Oh my word, Im talking bi-polar, sarcastic, mental health hazard, seriously how many personalities can a person actually have?, WOW, I am still in shock from yesterday, I usually catch on to weirdos but this one threw me way off, Im way too young for my defense mechanism to weaken offโ€ฆ. lol Now what my question is what do I do when he starts calling again, I know he willโ€ฆ.. Its just a matter of daysโ€ฆ I need some fun ideas,

  2007. #2007 by capricorn gurl on September 24, 2010 - 3:22 pm

    hey ppl!! i’ve been reading all those comments for like an hour!! an am totally feeling good!! coz i was wondering oly i had this confused guy around me!! well my story is i jus met this taurus guy 2 months back!! v wer in de same colg!! but afta i completed colg oly he got my number from a frnd an v started talking.. well in just a week or smething he started talking kinda sexual.. i said i dun wanna take it so fast.. then suddenly he started confessin saying he had sexual intensions on me!! i see him as a frnd so it wont work out! then afta a week he jus mgd me and we went for a movie then afta de muvi he started behaving lyk strangers not even a msg!! an wen i msg him he said he needs sme space!! then i left him alon!! again then afta 2 days he msgd me saying he’s gonna open his mind!! first tym he saw my pic wer my boobs was kinda exposed an then he wantd to talk all sexual an thn he knew i wasn’t interested so he din wanna reply to my msgs..!! i told him i like being wit him but then i dunno whethr i has intensions on him!! an i also added up saying if i had to talk to him oly if i had intensions the no need to talk or else v’l talk!! and i din get a reply for that msg till now!! can anyone temme whthr this guy is oly sexually interested or he’s in love? or do i hav to continue or jus let him go? but i miss him!! i relly wanna talk to him.. i dunno why!! actually hez going outta station moro!! so am planning to jus send a msg sayin miss you wit HUGZ!! wch will be a hint dat i lik him d way he does?? is dat a gud idea?? or shall i just lev him? can ya plz help me out!!

  2008. #2008 by capricorn gurl on September 24, 2010 - 3:32 pm

    and leo lady!! i tell you my idea is.. ” juz show your ATTITUDE!!” try being like you don give a damn!! an use all those stmts an reactions he did wen u wer mad at him!! ๐Ÿ˜› dats de best revenge!! ๐Ÿ˜›

  2009. #2009 by Leo_lady-D on September 24, 2010 - 3:47 pm

    Capricorn Gurl, I think at this point you should let your Taurus guy chase u more and let him try and communicate clearly what his intentions are, donโ€™t text him, just whenever u talk with him think gracious and kind, he will jump through the hoop if he needs to get to you, even then be wary of him, I donโ€™t think im the best person at the moment to give advice on Taurus guys especially when yours has those familiar mood swings and sudden changes of opinion ;), I wish I could tell my Taurus exactly what I was thinking of him but his family has too much influence in the area I live and it would hurt my career if I got him to a point where he would get revengeful, I think I would like to see him suffer as an I am a sucker for losing her rather than getting angry and wanting to ruin me.

  2010. #2010 by capricorn gurl on September 24, 2010 - 3:52 pm

    yea..!! good one!! ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ an thankz!! now i’ve kinda decided not to teaxt or cal!! let him get back to mee!! ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

  2011. #2011 by Tinker on September 24, 2010 - 9:20 pm

    Leo-Lady
    I was with my taurus for nearly 3yrs! He was a typical taurus and plabyed one game after the other. i’m just so relieved to be out of it now and would not wish these men on anyone ๐Ÿ™‚

  2012. #2012 by didada on October 3, 2010 - 5:35 pm

    hello everyone. i guess we re in the same club….rollercoster with the taurus.

    what i wanted to ask u guys was if a taurus man might say “i love you” or “ur mine” or “you belong to me” or anything similar to ask me without directly saying it ….”please dont date anybody else …i dont wanna say it officially cuz i compromise myself too much but at the same time i wanna ask you to be mine” .
    what do you guys think?

  2013. #2013 by didada on October 3, 2010 - 6:02 pm

    oops sorry…i forgot to say that he said all this during sex. so if he says that during sex is true etc and if anybody experienced that please

  2014. #2014 by Tinker on October 4, 2010 - 9:58 am

    Hey didada, hello hun and welcome!
    I hate to be the bearer of bad news, and your situation may be very different from mine, he could mean all these things and really want to be with you, it’s not for me to say otherwise! however you have come here asking for our experience in this matter and that is exactly what I intend to give you. My ex Bull would say the most inventive and powerful things to me in regards to his love that he felt for me, he would tell me that my body belonged to him and him alone, he would confess undying love and “your my woman did you hear me” all aggresive like, like he really meant business! lol lol lol, I have to laugh my arse of now when I think about how stupid i was to believe all this crap! ๐Ÿ™‚ but it’s funny you should add at the end of your question the fact that these things are only said during intercourse!

    Had you not have added this little foot note I would tell you that this man is for real and sounds like he is really into you, but for the sheer fact that this dude only say’s these things while inside you is very concerning and you should be very careful with your heart at this stage! he obviously feels you sexually and loves the idea of being inside you hun, this obviously overwelms him enough to confess how he is feeling at that point in time! and there is nothing wrong with that! what is wrong with this picture however is how does he communicate all this to you in the cold light of day? is he confessing love and demanding exclusivity when the sun is up and when the covers are off? this is what you need to consider.

    Everyone here knows how my situation ended, but i will say that I did ask my ex one question before I distroyed his life and that was” why did you keep coming back to me when you were engaed to someone else?” and the selfish son of a bitch replied, “because you alway’s made me feel good about myself” so there you have it hun, if you make them feel good enough, they will offer you the world, whether thay mean it or not, time will tell either way you will see from his actions if he really wants you or is playing with you.

    Hope this helps ๐Ÿ™‚

  2015. #2015 by gemini girl on October 27, 2010 - 8:42 am

    Hello there,

    oh wow…i was thinking i’m the only one having such a difficult time with my taurus guy but it looks like they are complex creature to deal with..

    my situation is this…i met this guy 15 yrs ago at my aunt’s wedding. at that time, he called me a few times and then something happened and he disappeared on me. 6 months ago, he contacted me and asked me out and I said yes. We spent three days together and he kissed me before I had to leave for my 3 mths holiday. While I was on vacation, we texted very often, the initiation was taken 90% by me to get in touch. When I get back, he came to see me and we made out..then i did not hear from hi for days. He is a workaholic by the way and i hardly get to see him. There are days when I wanted to see him and we couldnt see each other. I got really insecure and pissed about this whole situation and accused him of being a womaniser. We broke up because of that and since then I have regret my actions. I have been pleading with him to give us a chance but all he wants right now is to be friends. When I asked him why, he said that it seems that there is no understanding from my part about his work and things would get complicated. The reason why I wasnt able to understand his work is because he did not tell me anything about it. I said to him it would be better for us to just go our separate ways but he still contact me…

    should i still have my hopes up that there is still a chance for us to be together again? or should i just give up and accept the fact that we can and will only be friends from now on?

    appreciate your thoughts on this matter as i am very very confused about this. i think i do love him but i seriously dont know how he feels about me.

  2016. #2016 by gemini girl on October 27, 2010 - 8:51 am

    owh and just another thing, while we were together, he never once said anything about me being his gf. and he kept pushing me to see other men. so that was why i thought he didnt care and just wanted to end the relationship or whatever that we had at that time and that was why i called him a womaniser because i thought he has somebody else in his life and wants a way out…i am very very confused here…help!! help!! help!!

  2017. #2017 by Lionessa on December 2, 2010 - 5:14 pm

    Baa….guys I finally went through whole thread…it took me some time. lol.

    Guess what. I also had a saga going on with this taurus guy. Sadly it wasn’t long enough for me…I still miss him but somehow I accepted the fact that I have to let him go in order to keep my emotional sanity.

    However I cant help myself and I have to ask you guys for an opinion. (yes, I went through the problems you’ve had but I still believe every situation is unique).

    So here it goes:
    He’s obviously a taurus an I’m a leo (scorpio in ascendant). I believe I’ve pushed my taurus away, but it’s not like I’ve been trying to. It’s just the fact that my friends are mostly guys….I simply can’t find myself a good female friend no matter how hard I try. We’ve had this thing happening for about 6 months. We kind of stopped seeing eachother in August but somehow we’ve got together last month as I wanted to apologize to him for some drama I created and I wanted to say goodbye on a civilised way. He started talking all by himself when I finished my speech and he told me while sitting on my bed that he wanted a serious relationship with me but he got scared because of all those gys around me. And that he knows he can not change me and won’t even try because it would be too hurtful for both of us. He was really calm, realistic when he told me he doesn’t dare to take the risk of being hurt. He also said he HAD feelings for me but on his way out of my appartament he hugged me so softly but firmly…and was holding me for quite some time. He tried to hide he was smelling my neck while hugging me. It was enough for me and my doubting mind to start questioning about the words he shared with me. Whatever….you say you don’t feel for me, you don’t want to change me, you don’t want anything but friendship from me and than you stand there and hold me like you’ve never done it before.
    So yes, by his suggestion I added him on skype. Since then we’ve been talking mainly on the internet even though we both live in the same city and even really near. I’ve been the one to initiate conversations ever since even though he was the one who brought up the idea about internet and skype.

    After I started reading this thread I thought I should be more straight forward by telling him I have fallen in love with him. Which I did….I fell in love with the illusion or something. There was no response for quite some time and then he appeared telling me he got sick and was in delirium asking me if we’ve been talking lately. (?)
    Next day I told him I was thinking of him and that I hoped he was better. He replied he thought of me as well. I asked if I’m going to see him soon because I got sick of hanging here behind the computer and waiting till he’s online and I’m sick of all hopes and expectations I created for myself. His reply was: “I wish you wouldn’t think of me as of anything else but a friend. In a perfect world I would expect of you to keep talking to me because I love our funny supporting conversations.” I was left wordless. Is that it? Is his interest really and only in our “friendship”? We were never friends..only lovers with almost identical sense of humor…(we don’t really share interests, but we think alike). On the other occasion he mentioned that in these days of all those social networks, lack of dignity and pride happy and longlasting relationships are not possible. SInce then our conversations are rare…and I’m trying to stay as calm and normal as I can, like nothing happened. His replies are very short and its all funny, to funny…complicated.
    I don’t know what to think anymore…Am I supposed to talk to him after this (this means I’ll have to be the one to contact him first)? How sould I act when I see him? Like I am his freind or what? I am hurt and disappointed because I was expecting totally different outcome only becasue of that hug. I’m hurting myself by constantly thinking of how things could have been.. And by revising what he said and what I said and where I made mistake. I’m sick of blaming myself…I still love him and I would give my all to him if he wanted. Obviously he is trying to make me feel guilty for the decision he has made. I am tired of interpreting his words because they really could mean anything…that is why I’ve decided to simply let go.

    The opinion I wanted from you guys… Was there anything about that hug? Is there a chance for us to get together? Or was it again my mind playing tricks on me? Am I doing the right thing if I let him go?

    Something deep inside me is telling me he still has feelings for me, but I don’t dare to hope or even think about it…don’t want to cause myself more pain.

    I wish I could know if he is trying to force himself to stay away and act like a arongant bastard everytime I ask him “how are you”.

    I would be really thankful for any kind of objective opinion.

    Lionessa

  2018. #2018 by jade on December 13, 2010 - 2:16 pm

    Hi everyone!
    It took me weeks to finish reading the entire blogs (since 2008) and I feel bad that the mood of this blog has been changed. Can we go back again from the point where we can share out thoughts and feelings and experiences about “T”. Isn’t it that we are here to help/support each other? I have so many things to share and I do need some help too…lol
    Have a good day everyone!
    Jade

  2019. #2019 by jade on December 13, 2010 - 2:36 pm

    I think I am getting better and better now when it comes to handling my emotions with my “T”. I stopped sending him text mssges then I was surprised when he sent one asking what am I doing….(such a Taurus) and then my reply was “You are such a bull!”..Then he laughed and laughed. Of course he said that he will talk to me the next day which I believed is not true and yes I am damn right! My plan next time is when he texted me again…I will not text back and when I do…I will just say “What a Taurus you are…:-)” I think that say’s everything. And maybe I should tell him that we should “slow down a bit” which I know we are actually very slow. But I am thinking of doing reverse psychology.
    After reading the whole thread, I now know that the ball is in my court! hahahahaha…brace yourself Taurus guy! Girl rules this time!

  2020. #2020 by Lionessa on December 13, 2010 - 2:57 pm

    Yes! I wish we could reset the mood on this forum…..
    And give each other some insight, a shoulder to cry on…. I am really nervous, because I can’t believe it’s over with my taurus. I don’t want it to end and I wish somebody told me what is happening and how should I act…
    Butterflies are killing me.

  2021. #2021 by jade on December 13, 2010 - 3:06 pm

    Dear Lionessa,
    Don’t lose hope! Yes I am nervous too but you know what?…..After all these experiences…I believe that at the end of the day we deserve to smile and laugh about these guys. Let’s just play their games for a while. The good part is we are here to talk about them , right? I don’t think they (Taurus men) have this kind of blog about us…do they? hahahhaha
    Just keep in mind that they are “Taurus, Taurus, Taurus”…then smile. It feels good!

  2022. #2022 by cancer girl on April 21, 2011 - 10:19 pm

    My Taurus man leaves me so confused, we met via a social networking site and chatted everyday, we met by chance because we both live in different towns (25 mile distance). Everyone says sparks flew blah blah but it really did, for the both of us. After this we swapped numbers and we txt each other good morning and goodnight and he tells me about all of his ideas and all of the silly things he does in his day, I love this. We skype at night whilst we watch tv and we meet up once a week sometimes for the day or the weekend, we’ve even been away together to various city breaks, at this point we’ve been dating for almost 3 months.

    He said to begin with he said he wasnt looking to get into a committed relationship because he was only 6mths out of a 10 yr one, myself I have a 6yr old son and have been out of an 8 yr relationship for a year so we agreed to have “fun and see where it goes” so we have being doing, we behave exactly like a couple, holding hands, amazing sex, he cooks me meals (he is an amazing chef) we both are ambitious and have our own projects and want the ultimately the same out of life, it was all going so beautifully until i did the unthinkable…..
    …i asked him where we were going!!…….
    he freaked out, he really did said he has very strong feelings for me and in the same breath called it time!!! said he felt pressured, i assured him repeatedly that this was not the case I wasnt asking for more but he’s downright stubborn and had dug his heels in. That was yesterday so I gave him space and vowed to myself not to txt him and for the first time in months he didnt txt goodnight.
    Today I txt him could i come over so we could resolve this, he replied didn’t see the point his mind was all over the place, it wasn’t fair on me, and that hes made his mind up its over!!
    He called later that evening and explained that he really doesn’t think we will go anywhere in the future so its better to call it quits now before it gets messy, which i totally agree with but a massive part of me knows that he doesn’t really want this, is he scared of his own feelings or is he really just in it for the sex and the company?
    About the commitment thing i explained that we were really on the same page but I wouldn’t want to rule out a future but thats not something we need to discuss anytime soon, he babbled for a bit and then said that he might change his mind, hes too confused so we agreed to give him a few days to clear his head, he’ll be in touch. I really think I’m falling in love with this guy its not like hes not mentioned a future together, he said only last week hes not ready to call me his gf yet but hes close to, and where would we live your city or mine?

    Im so confused and I’m not sure whether he was always going to bail like this or if hes just too messed up either way I want him in my life ???

  2023. #2023 by Taurus_Male on May 13, 2011 - 8:45 am

    Hellllloooooooo…………….To all i am a Taurus Male…..born on 18 May…..after reading dis ol….i would say :
    1) yes we do like dis….when we dont get the honest response as per the way we are giving……
    2) I will tell u …..when we are with someone at dat time….we give our 100 % no doubt…….n when we are in relationship….we always thinks abut our mate……
    3) Remeber that when we r missing……for a week or two or for more….we miss our mate more then they do…..for sure…..but we dont show up…..bcoz we do so……to get some pratical signals…..to check wehter u realy liked us or not……
    4) But now i hve decided not to meet her…….anyway…coz……i really gave her a lot of signals….dat i Like her…….n i noticed dat there are 2 many things happend which u shud not do
    i) while we were chattin….she is not replyin fast…..wat i suppose is she is not paying full attention towards me
    ii) she leaved me n went to other country for her studies……..which she can also continue here as well……..(I thought she is playing games)
    iii) she didn`t told me she is in relation ship from past 2 year…….(i knoe she is more interested in me)……..but wen i asked for her this relationship…she told me …”whooooooooohooooooo”.
    iv) I called her once to come online for chat…….she did came…….but was not pinging me………intentionally………so i thought she is playing games……………..
    v) I told her not to go to other country as i will miss her a lot…………….she still went dere……n didnt think of how i will feel !
    vi) I gave her full respect n loyalty n attention……….with full honesty……n she also did…….but when she gone to other country….she didn`t even passed the no.
    v) She added me on facebook……n while she was there we chatted for sometime……..n I know she is a lot more intrested……..but still i foung some leckonass…..

    I am too much busy with my life…..So Considering all these factors…..I just leaved her…..its been now 20 days……i didnt went to FB……..I didnt ping her on yahoo or MSN…….

    ….I found she is missing me a lot….sending me a lot of Messages on FB……..Taggin on photos……..but dat will not work now………..as I have thrown her out of my lyf………her Game is Over……now I am Looking for A better women …who will give me a good response n will not play any games…………….For my EX—-“ur turn has gone”…..

  2024. #2024 by cancer girl on May 13, 2011 - 11:55 pm

    I have had no response from you so just in case anyone was wondering my Taurus called me after 3 days and said how much he missed me, how strange it was that he couldn’t txt/phone, could he come over.
    I let him and its as if nothing ever happened!! At a restaurant i gently said that i had been really hurt for those 3 days expecting a mumbled apology or a “it wont happen again” instead I got “Yeah how do you think I felt” I was cross but didn’t show it, he has such a selfish streak.

    Anyway we’ve been dating for 4 months now and he still isn’t calling me his gf, I find this strange and as a cancerian it doesn’t sit well with me I like security. I’ve met his best friend but none of his other friends and when I’m in his town we stay in and he prepares romantic evenings etc and although I am confident that hes not dating anyone else I cant help feeling like hes leaving me out of a massive chunk of his life on purpose and I don’t understand why! I want to share everything with him..now but he just says that we’ll get there in the end and that he prefers to walk not run. It just feels so flippant to me.
    Thoughts?

  2025. #2025 by Tinker on May 14, 2011 - 8:14 am

    @ Cancergirl,

    Hey hun, I have been unable to connect to this site for some time, hence why it’s gone so quiet, can’t quite believe i’m on now to be honest!

    it’s been sooo long since I have had to think about these men I feel like a Taurus `Virgin’ again lol lol
    I’m sorry this guy is giving you the run around, they are not very good at expressing themselves and as a result they often end up saying the wrong thing or just confusing the situation! I have come to the conclusion that when we say we love them and miss them, we are happy to prove this to them by our actions, however when they say they love and miss us it means something very different for them!
    They are happy to say these things and have nothing to back it up with, very frustrating I know hun but there it is!
    My only advice to you is to do you, try not to get to involved and make him your be all and end all, not until you start getting the answers and the commitment you deserve from him, Don’t keep on stroking his ego and making him feel good by declaring your feelings all the time or by trying to get all up in his life! when this man wants you in his life as his GF or other he will be sure to let you know, just try and relax and enjoy whatever you have.
    When you decide you want more and he is not prepared to give it, it will then be your decision to either stay or go, either way get some control back, cos giving this man the control is not a good idea, he will not have a clue what to do with it!

    Hope this helps ๐Ÿ™‚

    Quick update, my cheating Taurus got what was coming to him when I exposed his double life to his Fiancee! I found her and told her all about us! needless to say his world blew up and he become very hostile towards me! We had nothing to do with each other for over seven months but still I cared and worried about him as his health is not that great ๐Ÿ˜ฆ We made contact again last month and it appears that our feelings for each other are still as strong as ever! I would of course never take him back as I would be a fool, and as much as he declares undying love, his love and my love are two different ‘LOVES” he has not changed at all, but unfortunately for him I have! He no longer controls my thoughts or feelings and he hates that i’m no longer at his beck and call, I no longer make contact with him, only to respond to his communications! I actually blew him off yesterday when he was suppose to come by as he is always soo busy, so i told him I too was busy. I know my worth even if he does not!
    It’s his birthday tomorrow and I have no intentions of even contacting him, if he wants to be back in my life then that is his look out, but i for one will never respect of love him in quite the same way as I did before, He is trying to adjust to the new me, in the mean time I’m too busy living life to care! ๐Ÿ™‚

  2026. #2026 by Lioness on May 24, 2011 - 10:08 pm

    Hello Ladies of Taurus men its been such along time since I have been on here and been able to be on here… I thought I have really gave up on the taurus man. Anyways let me begin what has been happening im sure you ladies have been through it just as well they are crazy! My taurus is a leo rising and he has a cancer moon so he is moody and he is dramatic.. lol I have known him now for about 3 years now when I met him it felt as if I knew him and never met him before in my life but things never progressed even though there was a strong connection.. He liked to toy with my mind I did the same he found a new girlfriend she is a gemini but I think he is getting tired of her they have broken up countless times gotten back together and he will still talk to me the only time he wont talk to me and you can tell is when they have just broken up and just renwed their relationship and its funny and a few weeks later he will start talking again… anyways tries to make me jealous with her and he will ask my where abouts who I am dating where I have been have I dated anyone in the last 3 years who they are so on I mean why does it matter we are not together Ive never slept with him only talked to him I know they are possesive people but he has a gf why keep a gf move in with them and still talk to other girls… The thing that gets me is with him I find out from other people that I find him asking about me including his gfs family I mean isnt that gutsy wouldnt you be afraid your gf would find out he was asking questions about another girl and you live with them… I am just very leary he gave up his place to move in with her… so I am not very trusting since alot of taurus men do use women to get what they want they are superficial that way…….any suggestions please let me know I dont want to feel like I am being played for a fool especially with him he has already been trying to play head games with me already by trying to get a reaction out of me because he thinks I am angry for him moving in with a girl. In the past, he has bad mouthed me to mutual friends because I did not give him any attention when he has lied about things such as going back to his ex wife which was a rumor he started about himself I called him on it he called me a liar and a stalker and psychotic lol….. So these are how some taurus men are when they dont get their way I just wonder why he keeps coming back if he feels this way about me lol.. Well ladies goodluck you will need it with all of them ๐Ÿ™‚

  2027. #2027 by Lioness on May 24, 2011 - 10:20 pm

    Girls,
    What I have noticed is with the taurus man is they do like to control your every thought once you are around them alot and you are bugging them they wont respond to you they act like you dont exist they wont text back you have to treat them like they treat you pretty much if they keep you on the back burner do the same if they go out and date other girls date other guys they will get ticked but so what.. I know you have feelings for them but what is good for the goose is good for the gander and they are so slick and so secretive and this slow stuff if things arent moving fast enough dont let them fool you they do move fast with the right woman they are just exploring other options so do the same…

  2028. #2028 by Lioness on May 24, 2011 - 10:53 pm

    Taurus Guy,
    What sign is your girl? or what type of women do you usually look for? Whats your imput on why most taurus men do the silent treatment head games trying to control a situation and also things such as having multiple personalities, multiple women and acting like they are bi polar. I know a guy who wants to be Mark one day Ryan another and the list goes on and on and on and its all the same guy making up different scenarios being the same guy I dont know if he is being funny or actually being serious but other girls here have said the same thing on taurus men having multiple personalities.

  2029. #2029 by Lioness on May 25, 2011 - 9:08 pm

    Cancergirl,
    Taurus men are scared of emotions they keep a wall built up around them it seems and they will only let you in so far till they can fully trust you unless you are one of the gifted types that can see right thru them anyways then then they act out even more. I have noticed when they actually start to feel something they will cut you off but they also like to get reactions out of people as well and to make girls jealous they are just insecure people like that. I guess their purpose is to test each girl see which one is gonna stick around put her thru everything and see where she comes out in the end.. they are really complex creatures hang in there! Sometimes they are worth it sometimes they arent what I am wondering tho is you live 25 miles apart if he misses you so much why isnt he driving to see you more often that isnt that far to drive… just a suggestion

  2030. #2030 by cancer girl on May 31, 2011 - 9:00 pm

    @ Lioness
    Thanks for your input but hes called it a day again ๐Ÿ˜ฆ it was all going great and the constant stream of txts saying he couldn’t wait to come over and be with me etc were thick and fast and to be fair he is an honest man but within hours of arriving at my house he’d called time again!!
    His reasons were that he says he doesn’t see us as a “forever thing” and because of my son, (who he hasn’t met) he just says its too big and scary and although he has feelings for me he couldn’t take him on so its fairer to part now rather than later on.
    I told him I was heartbroken which I am and wont txt or call him because it hurts too much, two days later hes txting “how are you” and chatting like nothing has happened but not txting goodnight etc. He just says he doesn’t know what he wants and he’d love to see me but doesn’t think its wise to. He just says he struggles to be happy and I don’t need it, we txt for three days then i didn’t txt for another two which was really hard and then he txts again!! just chit chat day to day stuff but this just hurts me more because it gives me hope and I was trying to let him go from my heart.
    So ten days have gone by and he says he’s adamant that its over and even though he says he misses me and thinks about me a lot its only been ten days so of course he will!
    I know him so well and understand all of his little quirks he used to say that I know him better than he knows himself, I KNOW it could work and that he has big feelings for me but I don’t think hes going to let me in and I don’t think I can stand all of this instability.
    I love my Taurus man is there any way I can get through to him?

  2031. #2031 by Lioness on June 1, 2011 - 6:15 pm

    Cancer girl,
    Taurus men are very tricky bunch he could be testing you, stringing you along, or simply is just interested as friends. I would think if he says its over then it is I think a part of him does miss you but 10 days and no communication I think hes found someone else. Taurus men have alot of “female friends” they use as back ups when their main one isnt going as planned. I feel the same way with all the hot and cold and being treated as a game you know. If I were you I would just ignore him, dont call distance yourself from him get out and do things and have a good time they hate that when you are not twisted around their finger doing as they want. If indeed he did find a new woman you dont need that and you deserve better.. Thats what I am beginning to understand all of us make excuses for these men if it were any other sign we would be done with them for putting us through everything. Also taurus men dont like change they dont like to feel anything and once they start they push away but they still will keep you at a distance that is for the ones that do truly care. But again its like a rollercoaster do you want that? If things go wrong in your life and he just takes off? I would write the good qualities of having him around vs bad qualities and see which one outweighs. Remember taurus men are very good liars too they will make you believe anything you want to hear. Good luck Cancer girl..

  2032. #2032 by cancer girl on June 1, 2011 - 6:29 pm

    hi there me again
    His txts now have only one x and that we should just be friends, when there was always 3 or more but i was in his town today and he said we should meet for coffee, he was rather nonchalant about it all, if you want to and don’t go out of your way for me but we met anyway.

    It was sad for me in a way, I was hoping that things would be strained and I would find it easier to let go knowing he was not feeling it for me anymore but instead we chatted like it was in the beginning, random stuff, personal stuff everything except the subject of us, he even said he was checking out my twitter and facebook, it was really good.
    He smiled, like really really smiled at me the entire time and there was lots of eye contact, his hands were on the table but I kept mine on my lap, his whole body language was open and this really confused me, I made excuses after half an hour and went not wanting the awkward exit, he said he’d see me soon, and watched me walk away.
    10 mins later he txt to say that it was really good to see me and that I was looking good (i lost a stone in stress over the month) he txt a couple of chit chat txts and then “why did you have to look so hot?” that wasn’t something he would txt ordinarily so now i really don’t know how to feel but I’m not expecting much.
    I need him to realise how good we are for each other and I hopefully wont have moved on before he does I have a real feeling that we were meant to be together but I have a 7yr old son and he comes first.
    Thanks for listening.

  2033. #2033 by cancer girl on June 1, 2011 - 6:47 pm

    @lioness
    He really isn’t a liar although he is ruthless at work he isnt like that with his friends and family or with me, he would tell me anything and he knows I would see right through that.
    He has been communicating its been me thats distanced myself but we’ve only been split for 12 days now, I really don’t think he’s found anyone else.
    I have been going out and having fun, I’m not the moping around kind of girl and theres lots of pics my friends have put onto fb (not intended for my Taurus just pics as we would usually do). He said hes seen them and has been checking up on me would he do that if he didnt care?
    You’re right when you said they hate change, he really does and he’s very uncomfortable round at my house he was always much more comfortable in his own home, his comfort zone I call it and it ended at the front door loL

  2034. #2034 by Lioness on June 1, 2011 - 11:20 pm

    Cancer girl,
    I think this taurus man has mixed emotions which they do they want something one minute and off to find something else the next. In my experience, taurus men really only tell everything they know to friends because they feel more comfortable that way. As for love interests it takes them along time if ever to say how they feel and what is on their minds and they want to be sure of the woman they are with ive read alot of them use women they want to be taken care of they use them for money or they move right in and are still looking for something better till they find the right one. Ive noticed the ones that want to be friends are more gossipy its like sitting next to a close female friend and talking about shoes, clothes, and so on they are like that. But I would be careful with this one dont let him string you along meeting you and so on and getting your hopes up they are good for having alot of females around and living double lives. Cancer people are very emotional from what I have read and they wear their heart on a sleeve taurus men arent the same way unless they have alot of cancer influence in their birthchart. Taurus men hide their feelings for a very long time till they feel like they can trust you. Maybe you need to ask him why he is saying you look “hot” when he just wants to be friends but it definately sounds like he doesnt know what he wants.

  2035. #2035 by Lioness on June 1, 2011 - 11:27 pm

    I recently told my taurus man I just wanted to be friends he hasnt talked to me since. He gave this speech about how we just want to hurt each other by dating other people. I didnt quite get that considering he doesnt act like he likes me like that anyways. Just always seemed like he wanted to play headgames and me being a leo enjoyed being playful. My taurus was very competitive but it says that about leos and tauruses anyways ive noticed we are very similar and have lived our lives almost parallel hes done things I havent done but I eventually wanted to do and some parts of our past are almost the same background which to me is weird. I hope one day he will come to his senses but I dont think that will be for a very long time cause right now it just seems like he doesnt care anyways what I do or who with so I feel like its a lost cause. Idk when I see him tho its like nothing ever happened. Just seemed to feel like we left off in the same spot even with other people in our lives and so on..

  2036. #2036 by Lioness on June 2, 2011 - 3:36 am

    Cancergirl,
    I wouldnt think he would not be interested in you if he was checking out your facebook and stuff. Mine was doing that all the time even hacked into my account and emails I have no idea how but he did and he currently has a gf so I have no clue and gets jealous still… he goes thru people to ask about me or find out info. I read an article that said if the taurus man was in love with you he would feel comfortable going to the womans home he was dating.. It also said that they pretty much bring women over to their homes and its a protective thing.. What I would do is just go out like your doing have fun and treat him as a friend thats what he wanted from you…. and remind him of that if he wants more dont let him be a fwb unless you want that you will just be another girl to them if you do… They like to be stubborn anyways it just makes me wonder why he broke it off with you but is still coming around? They do like to play alot of mindgames I have noticed… Mine is so terrified to be around me he was literally shaking go figure I still dont understand that one but wants to keep tabs on me?

  2037. #2037 by cancer girl on June 3, 2011 - 8:52 am

    update..
    Hes asked me over on saturday and is txting non stop again. I asked if I was to come over would it be a friendship thing or a date thing and he replied that it was a lets see what happens thing to which I replied ok. Last night he was txting that he was thinking about being in bed with me (not sex) and that it was a good feeling so I told him that if I was to come over he should sleep on the sofa, he said that he understood and that that was ok.
    I feel like I should be stronger with him and rather than let him lead me (which I was inclined to do as he was such a slow mover). After this weekend I have it in my mind that he will accept the idea of my son and call me his gf or we will only and always be friends (without benefits).
    I need to know if its me he wants or the intimacy and companionship, I have noticed that they don’t really like to be alone and crave intimacy as much as sex and good food.
    This am hes telling me that Ive challenged him and said things that nobody has ever dared to say to him (not nasty things at all but character observations) that he feels like i can see right through him but thats a good thing, he likes strong independent women.
    He says that I haven’t seen the real him yet and that hes ready to show me that i’m not to expect miracles but that he can be much more chilled, relaxed and caring and that he doesn’t feel that hes been as good to me as he could be.
    Lets see eh

  2038. #2038 by Lioness on June 4, 2011 - 12:00 am

    Well taurus men do take along time to show their real colors in my case I could see right through him and we were so much alike I think it terrifies him. You have to be cautious with these men because alot of them will tell you what you want to hear. They are like chameleons anyways they like what you like and so on and you never get to see the real them. What I dont understand if this guy liked you so much why the change since when he saw you after coffee? Why did he want to be friends and now all of a sudden its a lets see what happens? These men also like to chase as well and they dont like it to be so easy and for you to be available all the time I learned this the hard way and they seem to like girls that will not put up with their behavior… I have found that they also like a woman who is strong but also one they feel they can eventually control and me being a leo that wont happen. Idk if I were you I would take a step back and look at this picture from what you were saying before he seems to want you because you looked so “hot” as you said before. and you could go many days without him calling or so on. I just wouldnt let him back into your life so easily thats all I am saying. Why hes checking you out on facebook idk ive often wondered that myself and what thats all about if they dont care…. but goodluck with him!

  2039. #2039 by cancer girl on June 7, 2011 - 6:49 pm

    @ lioness

    Its all over ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
    We met up and it was like right in the beginning again he made lots of effort and was attentive, we went out for drinks and had such a laugh, he was talking about me meeting his friends and how much I’d get on with his best mates gf, the places we would go together and was making plans with out any prompt from me. I was hearing everything I wanted to hear finally but when we got home I cried like a baby, and I NEVER cry!! My mum often comments that shes not seen me cry since i was six!
    So I cried, we was drunk though, I think it was relief because he was at the point where he might call me his gf but I knew deep down that the next morning I would wake up and he would be unsure again, its been a real emotional roller coaster and although I am a strong independent woman all of this unsettling was too much for me in the end.

    Sure enough in the morning he said that we’d tried it but it wouldn’t work out in the end, as I left he hugged me and said “we were so close”.
    I feel numb, not mortified like before just numb because I know I really do love this guy and that he could’ve loved me too I think he might already, he was always too afraid of his own feelings. Everytime he had any kind of strong emotion he would run away from it it seems he always has.
    A couple of days later he txt to say that he really did want it to work out and that everything he ever said he felt was true but that it wasn’t meant to be.
    So thats the end.

  2040. #2040 by Lioness on June 7, 2011 - 10:43 pm

    Sorry to hear that cancer girl…..
    that is how taurus men are they will string you along make you think that you are the only one and they change their minds…. I have a feeling he is talking to other girls and just giving you high hopes that is how mine was and he always got mad because I didnt chase him around and I refused to be another girl to him and I didnt fall for his tricks… They want someone they can control and you said you are very independant which is good but they dont care for that alot of websites say they they want independant women I disagree they cling to whatever they can get the most out of and alot of times they want someone that has money and that will take care of them that is what it is all about them they are selfish most of them some of them arent that way but the majority I know are that way. I hope you find someone that treats you better you dont need him you want someone who is gonna be there for you. Take up some hobbies go out with your friends if he cant even be there for you as a friend like mine is I say he is not even worth your time at all and he needs to stop giving you false hopes.. goodluck!

  2041. #2041 by c0mrade on June 12, 2011 - 7:54 pm

    @Lioness Taurus and Leos can be good friends but not good couple. Leos are crybabies and want to win everything and control everything. Taurus are calm, serene and they want to control everything too. It just won’t work.

  2042. #2042 by A_triangle on June 13, 2011 - 2:01 pm

    Hello Ladies,
    After reading your experiences with a Taurus man.
    I also feel an urge to share mine as well.

    We met through an online dating website. I am 26
    and he is 24 by the way. We live 75 miles apart
    but we can see each other through public transportation.
    Anyway when he messaged me we both felt an
    instant connection and ended up talking over
    the phone for hours! This has been going on
    for weeks where he would also email me
    throughout the day and call later at night.
    However, in the beginning he did mention how
    he was not looking for anything since
    he recently broke up with his ex gf. He also
    told me his relationship history where he
    jumped into a relationship right away but in
    the end 4 out of 7 gfs ended up cheating on him.
    Despite all this he said he’s over it and I was
    convinced that he was.

    It took 3 weeks for us to finally meet. Before I
    go on here is his situation: He is living with
    his parents to help them pay for some of the living
    expenses, left school because he can’t afford to
    go now, works in a part time job which he gets
    paid $240 (depending how many hours) every 2 weeks.
    Gives $200 to his parents every 2 weeks therefore
    with the rest of the money he uses for himself.
    I knew somewhere in my mind this was a red flag
    but because of the strong connection and attraction
    I was able to overlook.

    Anyway our first meeting went well. We watched
    a movie together, made out and cuddled. He
    texted me to let him know I got home safe and
    when I did he wanted to talk over the phone again.
    However, I started to feel a little irritated with him
    because I asked if we can hang out again this
    coming week and he said no but he explained
    how he needed to wait another 2 weeks to get
    paid. He didn’t want me to pay for things when we meet
    so I was no longer irritated.

    I sort of made the mistake of getting a little upset
    with him over his ex gf. She found out through
    stalking his twitter that he had a new “girl interest”
    and demanded that he send her stuff back when
    she was the one that cheated on him. Which I felt
    was immature. It made me irritated when he said
    when I come to visit him he can go to the city
    (which costs $22 for the train ride from his town)
    to give her stuff back then meet me at the station.
    Which has not happened by the way. To me it seemed
    like he was willing to DO THAT for an ex. He ended
    up mailing her stuff back and he sent me an email:
    “I feel so good now that her shit is not in my room!”
    And my reply was: “Good job”.
    He sensed that I was upset so we talked about it.
    I told him how I felt like she still wanted to have
    some control over him blah blah blah. However,
    we didn’t talk too much about it and I started
    to feel that it was rather stupid so we talked
    of other things that night.

    The next day I don’t get any random emails from
    him and sensed that something was up. So
    I ask whats going on and he texts me: “We should
    take things slow. I feel like I’m leading you on.
    I don’t want a relationship.”
    I called and said: “Look if you’re not interested just
    tell me. Are you meeting someone else?”
    He denies the whole thing and starts to get irritated
    at me more when I say “Fine, I’ll leave you alone.”
    Kept telling me that his interest is still there but
    wanted to slow things down. And also he admitted
    that when I was upset over the ex gf thing it made
    him feel like I wanted a relationship out of him.
    So of course I explained with more detail
    that it was out of his concern (partly true) and how
    by nature I tend to get defensive for people that
    I care and don’t like when others mess with them like that.
    He finally seemed to understand but I was still
    upset and hung up on him. I called him back few mins
    later because I didn’t want to ruin things. I apologized
    that I was not listening to his words but rather being
    emotional and said how I felt that he was not ready
    for a relationship especially with his life situation.
    Everything kind of clicked in my mind that he was not
    ready. Few weeks ago he sent me an email saying how
    he felt like his life was in a hole. He’s not moving forward.
    He also used to cut himself years ago from depression.
    So I was no longer upset and felt that he was telling me
    the truth. He did say things like: “I don’t want you to wait
    for me. However, I still want to talk to you and someday
    when the time is right we’ll see if things work out?”

    Anyway that was the end for that. I sent him an email 2
    days later after no contact: I want to apologize for misunderstanding
    you few days ago. I also thought about everything and realized
    that I left myself slip. I also feel like it was the strong
    infatuation that I had for you.
    He did not reply to that. My email was partly based on truth
    but I did that to save my pride and also didn’t want to
    push him away from thinking that I LIKED HIM A LOT
    which I really did…
    4 days no contact. I was getting really anxious and depressed.
    I finally send a text: “Hope everything is okay.”
    He responds right away: “Yeah eventually.”
    When he asked how I was I lied saying how I was
    doing really well and keeping myself busy.
    Then after some pause he asks: “So was it just infatuation?”
    I consider and answer: “Well it was both.”
    He texts: “Do you still feel that we can get together someday?”
    I text: “How do you feel? I like to know.”
    He texts: “I told you that I liked you! Not talking to you was
    a test for me to see if I really liked you. I kinda missed you.”
    I text: “I thought of you as well. I know you’re not ready for
    a relationship so I’m giving you space. I feel in my heart
    that you are a good guy.”
    He texts: “Yes, I definitely need space but I still want to
    talk to you.”
    I text: “For sure. Hey if you ever need to talk about
    things I won’t shy away from listening.”
    He texts: “I know it.”
    Later that night I received a text from him:
    “I’m tired of sleeping, tired of waking,
    tired of eating, tired of working, tired of falling in love,
    tired of loosing love, tired of everything.”
    I text him some words of encouragement but no reply.

    1 day later…
    I made the mistake of texting him:
    “I kinda miss you too.”
    This time he takes a while:
    “Lol. I don’t have my car for 2 weeks.”
    I text: “Ohhh~”
    No response.
    I text: “Disregard what I said.”
    He text: “Nah it’s okay. I’m just frustrated.”
    I text: “No I feel like it was uncool of me to say that to you.”
    No response.
    I text: “I sensed that you were frustrated when I read
    that email about you feeling like your life is in a hole.”
    He text: “Yeah life is rough.”
    I text: “”I feel concerned for you. I wish you can tell me whats
    going on.”
    No response.
    I text: “Anyway I’ll stop. Feel better~”

    Ladies that was the last time I had contact with him
    and it has been 6 days…
    I have been really down and torturing myself
    waiting for him to contact me but somewhere
    in my heart I feel like that was the end?
    He was all “Kinda missed you. Want to still talk to you.”
    Then 1 day later it seems like he does not want
    to talk to me and finds me irritating.
    A part of me wants to believe that he might be
    really depressed to a point where he does not
    want to talk for now. I even did some research
    on men’s behavior when they are depressed.
    Another part of me feels like he is no longer
    interested and forgot about me completely.
    I even deleted his phone number to
    keep myself from texting him. I went through
    hell last week and not sure if I want to deal
    with it again this week! I have not been eating
    properly or enjoying anything. I had so many urges
    to email him and be like “Whats going on?”
    I rather have him tell me that he is no longer
    interested or is meeting someone else.
    That would make me lose interest or any hope
    REAL FAST. However, I also value that connection
    that we shared and in some ways I feel like
    maybe when he’s no longer depressed he
    will contact me? If I email him now about
    whats going on he’s going to change his mind
    or think that I’m a loser for not getting over it?
    I don’t know what to do!!!!! Ladies what do you think?
    PLEASE HELP ME!!!! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  2043. #2043 by A_triangle on June 13, 2011 - 4:59 pm

    Something that I just realized after reading all your posts:

    I think as women we rely heavily on our emotions
    that we lose our heads especially in an early
    stage! His sweet words, affection, mannerisms,
    attention. I believe that he means everything at
    first then suddenly disappears when you do
    or say something which I feel is cowardly when
    one can consider and ask the woman what she
    really meant by that. Men are just as quick to
    assume and withdraw to make us feel like
    we did something wrong.

    I feel like all the ladies who shared their experience
    here deserve BETTER. However, one can’t change
    the past and I feel that some of the ladies have
    given half of her heart (or maybe more) to that man
    in an early stage. When I read some of your posts
    of how that man treated you it made me sad and angry.
    It seemed like the woman was walking around egg shells
    around him. And WHY?! Because us women once
    we set our hearts on someone we hold on. We are
    quicker to forgive and I actually think we are more
    patient than these Taurus guys! Look at the way
    they treated us yet we forgive and give them chances.

    My dad (he is a Capricorn) was strict on my upbringing.
    I used to get scolded for not paying attention to certain
    situations. He would tell me repeatedly that
    one must never lose her head! Relying mostly on our
    feelings can be dangerous at times. Having wit
    helps us survive. I also came to analyze that men
    seem to pull the disappearing act more than women
    because men come to use their head before us and
    come to a decision that something is off while we
    are still having intense feelings for him.

    So from all this drama I have come to learn to
    be careful. I feel like I had to go through all this
    hell to figure it out!!! I remember in the Bible
    they refer “wisdom” to a woman. My dad said
    men are simple stupid creatures. If we are able
    to keep our heads and control some emotions
    perhaps we will stop investing our precious
    time and energy on someone who does not deserve it.

  2044. #2044 by cancer girl on June 14, 2011 - 7:31 pm

    @ A triangle you should read my posts from start to finish, he sounds very much like my Taurus, it hasnt ended well.

    Why wont he just leave it alone?
    I’m heartbroken but I’m not the sort to mope about, I’m busy making plans and changes that will benefit my future, I’ve always been like that, but yet my Taurus guy, who says he wants to just be friends is still txting, reading my facebook and twitter all of the time! Why would he do this i he really didn’t care or me enough to take it to the next level?
    He’s deinatley a commitment phobe i could see it a mile off when I met him but he is still trying to maintain contact with me, I don’t get it! Why doesn’t he just go his own way? we don’t even live in the same city so maintaining a friendship where he txts me everyday seems strange to me!? Why isn’t he moving on since it was him that said it couldn’t work because he couldn’t see himself taking on my son?
    In his txts he says hes happy ‘m making plans and that in my friends pics of me out on saturday night looking happy makes him happy ( so he’s been trawling my friends pics or me, I wasn’t tagged), the rest is just general chit chat. I ‘m confused, is he leaving the door open or himself? or does he just want to be friends and sees his friendships with exes differently than I do?
    I thought this was over, but as much as I do love him I will not be inviting him back into my life anytime soon. Thanks for listening guys x

  2045. #2045 by A_triangle on June 16, 2011 - 1:56 am

    @ cancer girl
    Hello~ yes I read them. It makes me sad that things did not work out
    for you as well. I really really really REALLY hope that the next man
    you meet will be the one! Someone who will make you so
    happy that all this painful drama you had to deal with won’t hurt
    you so much and even help you forget!

    I guess for me it won’t be that hard to move on because we only
    met once but I did like him a lot. It’s also because it has been
    a very LONG time since I felt that connection and attraction for a guy.

    Update: After a week I emailed him yesterday. He’s not that depressed
    anymore and said things are looking better. Told me he was ill last
    week from stress. I tried to start a conversation but I got this vibe that he
    was distancing himself from me. So I asked if I can talk to him
    later at night because I wanted to tell him things that were sitting
    in my chest for a while. He declined saying how he was working late
    and needed to get up early in the morning. Instead asked me to
    “write it out.” I was annoyed but thought what the hell I need
    to get this heavy load off my chest.

    I sent the email last night.
    No cursing, no pointing fingers. It was straight forward. I basically
    told him how his actions were questionable and that I sensed
    he was distancing himself from me. “When I like someone its
    hard for me to put my feelings on hold. Not talking to you for
    a week made me miss you more and yes I hate to admit this
    but I still like you. I understand your life situation and how you
    need space but I cannot go on having feelings for you.”
    I also wrote a decent farewell in the last paragraph in case:
    “I don’t hear from you again after you read this message.
    Best wishes to your family. Hope you continue to grow inside
    and out. Enjoy the time you for yourself.
    Knowing you briefly was nice. My feelings for you will
    be gone but I like to think of the good moments that we shared sometimes.”
    Yup that was the end. Honestly, I can careless what he thinks
    because I didn’t sound like a desperate person asking him
    to give me a chance nor was I full of grudge or hate.
    I don’t think he is even going to reply. Most likely
    he does not care and be in relief that I moved on and won’t
    contact him EVER. After the way he replied to me
    in previous emails I started to realize how immature he is.
    I really hate it when it feels like someone is intentionally
    ignoring, upset, holding a grudge against me and
    not saying so!

    I admit I feel relieved and able to move on. However, today I
    did feel a bit down for some moments. I felt sad that he
    choose to ignore me instead of telling me whats going on.
    Communication is so important in a relationship.
    I no longer have a reason to wait or hope. It’s only fair
    that I do this for the next guy coming around.

    I hope you get better cancer girl!

  2046. #2046 by A_triangle on June 16, 2011 - 3:15 pm

    He feels like a complete stranger to me
    and in some ways it feels like we never met.
    The person that he decided to show during
    the “good times” seems like an illusion to me.

    I can kind of see why now 4 out of 7 gfs cheated
    on him! LOL! I remember a while back he told
    me about his recent ex. He asked her “Why did you
    cheat on me for that guy?” She replied: “He listens to me!”
    hahahahahahhahaha
    He was baffled and said “What the hell I listen to you!
    I talk to you every night.”
    Yeah this Taurus guy just does not get it.
    His head is filled with rocks for sure.

  2047. #2047 by A_triangle on June 18, 2011 - 1:35 am

    *sigh* I still miss him.
    Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

  2048. #2048 by Lioness on June 19, 2011 - 1:40 am

    Triangle girl you sound alot like me and what you have gone thru with your taurus guy mine acts the same way just keep yourself busy and make him the last priority like he does you!! Mine will not talk to me but only when he wants to then when the conversation starts to get boring or when I dont hear from him in a long time he wants to know why I dont talk and gets angry… These men really are an illusion.. has anyone else had the same problems where they like anything that you like and they dont seem to have their own ideas or anything?? Also, twisting words around especially if you leave them wanting and they use your past against you and make it look like they went thru the same thing? Those are the issues I am having now and he wants me to fall in love with some illusion and gets angry when I tell him I just want to be his friend he has a live in gf btw or had one? Anyways, I dont get involved with attatched men and I dont try to control anything as comrad stated I lay it out there and I feel like if a person can get better than me please do you werent the one for me anyways. Anyways this taurus, he will make up stories and lies for no reason at all and he likes to cause alot of drama and I think a part of it is they really are insecure people and they dont feel as if they are good enough I went off on mine the other day Im sure I hurt his feelings but I had enough of his games of twisting words and the lies and so on and all he could say is that he was a looser?? This taurus I am talking to wants me to interrupt his life with the gf and wants me to fight for him go figure I dont understand that one why be with a person if that is the case??? I really do like him but when is it ever going to be enough right now he thinks I just like him as a friend and thats how I am gonna let him think even tho im dying inside. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  2049. #2049 by A_triangle on June 19, 2011 - 11:52 am

    Lioness thank you for your advice!!! I am so hung up on him
    IGNORING me. I do agree with you about the whole illusion part!
    That is how I am starting to feel. Somehow it seems like nothing
    has happened but when I think about the great moments we shared
    I am reminded again of that instant connection and attraction!
    I am assuming that you are a Leo? I am a Gemini but also
    have a Moon in Leo and get upset from a wounded pride.
    I also have a Taurus trait as well. Supposedly I think like one
    since my Mercury is in Taurus.

    I can’t believe what he is doing to you with that live in gf!
    Unbelievable! Sometimes I like fire signs even when
    they have a quick temper. It’s better to get the devil out of you
    then apologize later. This whole ignoring me thing is
    truly getting on my nerves! Somehow I feel that it should
    not be a big deal but honestly I can’t lie to myself.
    When I wrote that last email to him about how I felt
    about everything I hoped that he reply. I would have
    even accepted a “goodbye.”

    I do remember dating a Taurus years ago when I was
    in my early 20s. He was a douchebag. I remember looking
    through his photo files and there were photos of other
    girls that he was dating. I never liked him that much
    to begin with so I used to say all sorts of things to
    piss him off. One time I yelled then walked
    out of his house. He even checked out other girls
    while we were hanging out so just to give back
    a dose of his medicine I started to check other guys!
    He did not like that at all and he didn’t want to be
    seen holding hands with me in public.
    My impression of him was like he collected girls
    as a hobby. Funny how he always ended up
    contacting me after I go crazy on him. I don’t
    think he ever ignored me or took a long
    time to respond. Or maybe it’s because I never
    liked him much to begin with that I didn’t notice?

    I hope the next guy I fall for is a Leo!

  2050. #2050 by Lioness on June 19, 2011 - 5:38 pm

    Triangle girl have you ever done a compatibility chart with you and him to see how it would be? This is what I found of my taurus it says we have some spiritual connection and I believe that. I am a leo my moon is in capricorn my mercury and venus both in leo and my mars is in gemini and my rising sign is aries. He is a taurus his moon is in cancer his mercury is both in taurus and his mars is in aquarius and his rising is in leo. Complete opposites! I totally understand where you are coming from I think he just likes the attention from women thats all like I said mine was with a gemini and was or still is living with her. I feel bad for her too because they say with geminis they are both attracted to each other like magnets at first and then it will fizzle out because they dont have many things in common afterwards and they are too different from each other geminis are free spirited people and taurus men really arent. The taurus will want to control the gemini and the gemini is so much in love they will let him do that to keep them around and end up losing their identity in the meantime. So just be cautious with that. My taurus guy has always checked up on what I do goes to the extremes of having his friends talk to me to see if I will fall for them has told others that he got with the gemini girl to make me angry and that he could drop her at anytime if needed. Even when he moved in with her he had asked a friend of mine if he still talked to me and then a week later he moved in with her so go figure and the day he moved in with her he was still contacting me. So I feel bad for her all around because it seems they will use anyone or anything to get their end result. He does talk to alot of women and when I started talking to other guys and so on he didnt like it at all. He has stopped talking to me too but I figured it was because he wanted to have a chance with the gem so I didnt mind just hated how he did it that is all. Just makes me wonder what all he has said about me because he realy does remind me of a woman in a mans body so feminine and he gossips just like one as well but maybe that is the cancer moon I am not sure. I too get very wounded and I dont like it very much how he makes me feel I can feel the push and pull with him as well as the emotions and pulling of the heartstrings but what I am not sure of is why after 2 years does he still come around why not let me be? He checks up on me thru friends and like I said has his friends talk to me to see if I will fall for any meanwhile he is talking to other women and so on and does what he wants pretty much so it is all confusing to me and the way it seems like he is doing emotional blackmail really to hurt me to get what he wants and to have that control. I hope this will help some goodluck.

  2051. #2051 by A_triangle on June 19, 2011 - 7:08 pm

    Hello Lioness~
    Oh my gosh! I love moon in Leo people! They say having a moon in
    Leo or Cancer is supposedly the best. You do sound fiesty~ ๐Ÿ™‚
    From the things you wrote about sounds like he is jealous!
    One Taurus male friend of mine mentioned how he does not
    get on with Leo women. His younger brother is a Leo and he
    tells me how he doesn’t understand his Leo ways sometimes. Haha…

    Leo women come across as being intimadating sometimes. There
    is a queen like air about them! They are also independent
    yet attract others to come to them! Leo women are strong.
    If I was born as a man I would totally go for a Leo woman!
    Maybe that’s why the Taurus guy
    is constantly trying to make you jealous because from the
    outside you might give the impression that his behavoir is not very effective.
    I have to agree with you that he is trying to prove his “worth” to
    himself and you by all that you have mentioned.

    Since I have the ability to think like a Taurus… well if I was
    the one who started to play all these games I would want
    them to be predictable. I would constantly fantasize how
    the other person is going to react and such. However,
    if it does not go the way I planned I would not like that either.
    Taurus are known to become very aggressive at what
    they want and it seems like that is what the Taurus guy is doing!
    He seems to have a hard time letting you be because he
    wants a certain reaction out of you. It also sounds like you two
    did share a very strong connection in the beginning.
    I noticed a pattern. If two people get on REALLY well
    at first (especially a man and woman) they are also
    prune to really dislike each other strongly when things
    go bad. When I did the compability with the recent Taurus
    guy there was a huge negative trait for both of us. It said
    how we misinterpret each other by paying attention
    to what is being said and not thinking about what is not
    being said. I find this to be true even though both of us
    have Taurus in mercury.

    I really hope he comes to his senses and be honest about
    what he wants! Seriously this is so immature but
    most importantly it’s unhealthy both of you! Actually
    more unhealthy for him since it seems like you’re
    dealing with it rather well. Revenge can be sweet
    but it can also leave one feeling more empty than ever.
    What he wants he is surely not going to get. Like you
    said it’s all just an illusion.

  2052. #2052 by Lioness on June 19, 2011 - 7:35 pm

    Thank you triangle girl you seem to understand alot of what I am going through. As you said he wants a reaction to see how I feel which to me I already know what he is trying to do. It really is an illusion like you said and I am not sure why I intimidate him or why all of the games it is just very puzzling to me but what I do know is when it is going good we cant get away from each other but when its bad there is all kinds of wounded feelings and pride I guess love/hate relationship. To me I dont mind him doing whatever he pleases dating other women and so on what I do mind is being lied to and made a fool out of which I think is his way of trying to control the sitution or whatever. I hope that you will find what you are looking for in someone sorry it wasnt the taurus guy but you never know maybe he will change his ways for you and stop acting like a jerk. As for the reaction part on the taurus guy well with taurus and leo they get no where when they butt heads taurus is stubborn so is leo and they wont get anywhere when that happens even with the games and so on because whatever a taurus will do a leo will do it back and its a competitive thing to see who can do it the best and effectively.

  2053. #2053 by A_triangle on June 19, 2011 - 9:37 pm

    Dear Lioness,
    I have to admit that I feel less lonely talking about these things
    and having you respond! It seems like many ladies stopped posting here. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
    I tried contacting Kyle the Taurus guy to get some advice from
    him but no response since it has been a year he posted.
    He sounds just like the recent Taurus guy I’m hung up on.

    I don’t think he is ever going to contact me though. Which is a bit
    weird because he told me about this girl that was stalking him
    and getting crazy yet he still responded to her! My email was not
    crazy at all yet he does not even give me a goodbye! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
    I will have to take that no response as a goodbye. I feel depressed
    whenever nothing seems to work out for me! When I like someone
    and is ready to stay the guy doesn’t feel the same way. Then a guy
    who is ready comes along but my feelings are not strong for him.
    Sometimes I feel like I was meant to stay single for the rest of my life.

    Yes it’s that competitive thing! Leos are not the type that allows
    people to continually mess with them. Leos are pretty clever.
    Your thoughts are like rapid fire! I don’t think Leos hold
    grudges though. Most likely they want to get it over with
    and end in good terms. Like I said it’s that queen like air
    Leo women have which may seem intimidating! My friend’s
    sister is a Leo and says how everyone (males & females)
    immediately don’t like her on first impression. One guy
    said she seemed “arrogant and cold.” I made friends
    with several Leo girls in school and I noticed how
    they didn’t make the first move to be friends with others.
    When I approached them I knew internally they were
    warm people! That’s what I admire about Leos. Their
    strong sense of justice, can never be mean.
    I admit they can be bossy but at the same time
    they make good leaders! Leos can be very generous
    and good at making plans to be with their loved ones.
    I know this sounds a bit mean but the Taurus guy
    is standing so low and you are a respectful lady who is
    standing on a higher level than he is! Sorry I sound like
    I am totally in LOVE with Leos! Hahaha….
    I don’t feel shy about expressing my admiration for
    people with a good deal of class. That’s what I thought
    my Taurus was and I still honestly don’t want to accept
    that he’s being a jerk! I truly wish he has a good reason
    for ignoring me but at the same time I don’t know!
    *Sigh*

  2054. #2054 by A_triangle on June 19, 2011 - 10:04 pm

    Dear Lioness,
    I briefly spoke to him through chat.
    I asked if he was mad at me he said no.
    He also said how he lost his job and is not
    talking to anyone. I said “I’m sorry.”
    He says: “It’s fine.”
    I say: “I guess you’re not in the mood to talk. Well take care then.”
    He says: “Take care.”

    I can’t help but feel that he talks to everyone
    else BUT ME. What do you think?
    He seems so cold towards me as if
    I did something terribly wrong!

  2055. #2055 by Lioness on June 19, 2011 - 10:22 pm

    Triangle girl,
    Geminis are impatient as you are well aware. Thankyou for the kind words about leos we arent stuck up we just dont like warming up to people we dont know right away. When someone messes with us yes we do let it all come out right away we get angry and then depending on the situation we let it go. If someone is intentionally lying to us or cheating that will cause us grudges and most likely we will say our peace if we think we owe them that or just simply dismiss them all together out of our lives if they have cheated some of us will still try to work things out since we are a fixed sign and we dont like alot of change. Taurus men have a good way of stirring drama they like to have many women going at one time chatting and so on what he says is a stalker chick may not be he may be the one stalking her you never know as well as he may just be telling you anything you want to hear to keep you at bay. Taurus men are cold people especially if they have other interests or they arent getting what they want out of the situation. They use people to get what they want that is the negative trait I dont like as well as they are terrible liars but when they do lie you wont know and you may think its real. Taurus men are selfish if he lost his job I can see why he would be upset but im not sure and withdraw but I believe that if he were interested in you he would still keep in contact. I wouldnt contact him anymore and see if he contacts you. If he doesnt contact you then he had other women and he was just telling you lies. My taurus guy did talk to everyone else but me but what I didnt know was he was asking about me to the other people but he would make me look like I was some crazy person who was stalking him and that was not the case at all he was hacking into my emails and even bank accounts which I dont know how but he did it. So that is all I am saying just take a step back stop worrying what he does date some other guys do what you gotta do in life and see if he comes to you.

  2056. #2056 by A_triangle on June 19, 2011 - 11:00 pm

    Dear Lioness,
    Yes. I am impatient. Sun and Mars being in Gemini!
    Like air we are constantly moving around.
    Yeah I understand with the whole grudge thing when
    someone is lying to you! I sort of feel that way right now.
    It feels like this Taurus is holding back and he is awfully
    COLD! I am starting to feel like he does not like me at all
    as if I did something TERRIBLY WRONG!
    I was like “Yeah I thought you were mad at me because
    you didn’t respond to my email.”
    His response: “I told you I have not been talking to anyone.”

    Do you think he is just making an excuse to get me
    to not talk to him anymore?! I mean if he lost his job
    he can’t really see other girls because he is broke…
    Oh my gosh! I have to stop with this INSANITY!!!!!!
    It’s like I want to know. I hate being pushed back like this!
    Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!

    Gosh I can’t believe that Taurus did all that!!! That is INSANE!

  2057. #2057 by Lioness on June 19, 2011 - 11:28 pm

    Triangle girl,
    Every girl hates not knowing with the taurus man. I thought mine hated me for a long time and just made up excuses to avoid me but eyes dont lie and when he has looked at me there was something there deep. I did just as you were doing I drove myself crazy thinking about the whole situation and so on you have to let go though and stop revolving your mind around him get out and do things its hard but thats what they do they posess and want to posess all of you including your mind. When they know that you only think of them they go on to the next they dont want some girl to be all over them all the time. You said he used to cut himself I really would be concerned with that and his depression.

  2058. #2058 by A_triangle on June 20, 2011 - 12:12 am

    Dear Lioness,

    *sigh* I am going to take your advice and let it go!
    Actually I am glad he was cold to me like that because
    it gives me more of a reason to forget it.
    I am going to stop analyzing. Even if he had a really
    good reason for being this cold to me whatever.
    When I am depressed and people ask me whats going
    on… no matter how depressed I am I will never be
    cold and shut them out like that! I try to be polite as I can
    be letting them know that it has nothing to do with them
    and that I must deal with it alone.

    I am going on a 2nd date with this Aries guy I met
    before the Taurus. There is another Sag guy that I met
    5 years ago that I recently got in touch with as well.
    Hopefully I will have a great time and not be so narrow
    minded on being set on the Taurus.

  2059. #2059 by Lioness on June 20, 2011 - 12:37 am

    Triangle girl,
    I hope everything works out for you!

  2060. #2060 by A_triangle on June 20, 2011 - 1:04 am

    Dear Lioness,

    I hope the same for you as well!
    Maybe all my questions will be
    answered months or years from
    now when I don’t care. Haha that
    always seems to be the case!

  2061. #2061 by A_triangle on June 20, 2011 - 3:18 pm

    Dear Lioness,

    I spoke to a Leo male friend of mine last night
    and I always had a bit of a crush on him. He is
    attractive, smart, optimistic, warm with a strong
    sense of justice. *sighs* haha…
    I told him a part of my situation with the Taurus guy
    and all he said was to move on, I deserve
    better. Also listening to the things he’s been
    doing and all made me realize how bland
    the Taurus guy is and his negative mood swings
    affecting me like the flu! I came to a full realization
    that the right person would not make me feel this
    crappy. Leos are ruled by the sun and they are so
    good at giving encouragement to others!
    I also feel like you have given me comfort as well!
    Basking in the Leo’s sun~ hehe

  2062. #2062 by Lioness on June 22, 2011 - 11:24 pm

    Dear Truangle girl, I am happy that you found someone that will work for you! I had to let mine go he just wants to play on my emotions and tell stories and I feel as if he drags me down with his moods like you said. One minute he is all fine and then next he is all over some girl I dont have the time for all of that and frankly I find it disturbing and really who wants to be with a guy that wants you and every other girl totaly tacky. I think he set out to make me hate him because that is where it is heading. Taurus is soo boring as well they should be happy to have a leo in their lives we are good people and I think taurus is just jealous because we have every quality they lack. They just dont get it either always believe what they do never admit when they are wrong and they are anyperson you are if you like something so will they its like enough! Anywhoo I am going to chalk this up as a learning lesson and drop the situation and start looking for someone who will appreciate me for who I am.

  2063. #2063 by A_triangle on June 23, 2011 - 4:00 am

    Dear Lioness,

    Helllll yeah!!!! I agree with Taurus being boring sometimes.
    I feel like my air is being stifled in one place for too long!
    That’s one of the reasons why I like Aries and Leos because
    they are very active signs. You people have the ability to see
    life as a whole. Leos can be stubborn and fixed in their own ways
    but I also see that once someone points out something
    and appeal to justice Leos have the ability to admit the wrong.
    Where as with some Taurus’s that I’ve come across (I’m not
    saying all) seem to not want to listen at all whether I appeal
    to justice or not. Sometimes I feel like they go hostile on me
    passively because I disagreed. There were four Taurus customers
    in a cafe I worked for years ago and honestly they were really selfish.
    One of them was being selfish for no good reason that I let her know I was
    not dealing with that attitude.

    Lioness, I think the Taurus man has made you forget how majestic
    and awesome you are! Seriously, I am sure you’ve got many
    admirers who wonder if they should dare approach you!
    It feels as if his earth has put out your fire! Fire signs are all
    about moving forward and I think that’s why they don’t
    like to hold grudges and would rather let out a temper or two.
    Which I think is healthy! My date with this Aries guy went
    really well! I totally forgot about the Taurus guy. I felt like
    my air was being circulated instead of staying in one place.
    Maybe watery signs might do better at handling Taurus.
    I hope to hear good news from you about a new date!!!
    I

  2064. #2064 by Lioness on June 23, 2011 - 7:41 pm

    Triangle girl,
    Oh yes My taurus guy I can feel him trying to put my flame out so to speak but then he is quite lively and optimistic and quite fun to be around I guess that is the leo rising in him. Very sexual though and quite kinky very “dirty” I should say which leos like excitemement and not having a dull moment. What I dont understand about the taurus is it seems they have alot of women around and they will drop any one of them for whatever reason and the next thing you know they are with someone new any suggestions why do you think this is? I think you understand alot which its nice to vent out frustrations too but I am weighing the options of do I cut him loose for good or keep him around?? He remembers everything I say every moment and plays it all back like it just happened I just dont want to be “another” girl and I dont like feeling taken for granted either. I am happy that you have started dating Aries and I never got along too hostile for me, Saggitarius they say we make a good match but I dont feel the connection with any of them. Ive dated a cancer too overly emotional for me. I did enjoy Libras alot but also wishy washy. Aquarius bored me to tears even though it is our opposite sign.

  2065. #2065 by A_triangle on June 24, 2011 - 2:52 am

    Dear Lioness,

    Taurus people are funny though and I agree there are
    lively and optimistic moments. I did feel sparks flying
    when I first started talking to my Taurus. With the Aries
    I didn’t feel much sparks at first but started to feel myself
    warming up on the 2nd date.

    I remember reading this somewhere: “Taurus is possessive and
    materialistic. They treat friends and lovers the same way as
    if they belonged to them.” I know 3 Taurean males that
    constantly flirt with many girls while in a relationship.
    Sure it’s not a big deal for them to have female friends
    but it crossed the line of friendship. I remember one Taurus
    guy was really touchy with his female friends even to a
    point where he let them sit on his lap. So I thought “hmmm
    how would he like it if his girlfriend let her male friends
    sit on their lap and grabbed her ass?”
    Maybe it’s out of insecurity that some Taurean males
    feel the need to have a collection of women however
    this can apply to others regardless of their signs.
    The Taurus man don’t like it when a woman
    give him back his own medicine though. I’ve seen this
    happen a couple of times actually!

    You did mention how you two shared a strong spiritual
    understanding and it sucks how things did not work out
    well! It is hard to find someone that connects with you
    that strongly. Of course you don’t want to be “another” girl.
    Honestly, I hope you can lose him for good but it’s easier
    for me to say because I am not you. It’s hard to forget
    someone when you felt a strong connection which is
    why I feel its silly to put that person on hold and search
    else where. Sometimes I get weary of dating multiple
    people. I rather meet someone I feel strongly about and
    see where it goes. Meeting new dates can be exciting
    but after a while that also gets kinda old.

    Have you tried dating a Gemini or Leo? I don’t get on with
    Sag males. I actually find Capricorns to be the most
    reliable earth signs. Haha I agree with Cancers being
    overly emotional at times.

    Maybe you can keep yourself open to him if he
    decides that he wants to be with you but like I said
    someone better might come along so~

  2066. #2066 by Lioness on June 24, 2011 - 7:00 pm

    Dear Triangle Girl,
    Thanks for your advice!! My taurus man seems to have dropped his gf he was with and found a new gf which is funny to me because she is worse looking than the one he was with before and what is coincidental about the situation is I told him I had just wanted to be friends and also said I had been talking to a guy for 4 months earlier in the year he was a Capricorn and had a Taurus Rising but he was also married so I wasnt going to act upon it. But the taurus wanted to know all about this guy and 2 days later he has dropped his gf and found a new one which is funny to me. Anyways, still wants to keep talking to me but pretends its not him and act like we havent talked for a year go figure…… Too many headgames and I cant keep up with them tries to control the mind I can tell and is angry I wont make a move and I talk to other men asked me a few weeks ago how many male friends I had and said that was too many. But what he doesnt get is that I am secretly sizing him up and he has no idea he thinks he can just get one over on me and I just play dumb and let him believe whatever. Last year, he sent me a secret admirer email and it said he was too chicken to make a move yet he was living with someone… I really dont get that at all. Right now I just want to be friends because I feel that if I was that important he would not be dating other women. As for Aries I dont get along with them too boring and they think they are gods gift as well as alot of them have depression and attention deficit disorder. Leos we are too much alike and some of them bore me to tears I get along better with the women than the men. Geminis I met one awhile back he was very quiet and wasnt really my type no spark. But I do hope someone will come along whether it be another taurus or whomever else! I hope you will find someone as well…..

  2067. #2067 by A_triangle on June 25, 2011 - 2:28 am

    Dear Lioness,

    It seems like you’re more attracted to the earthy types.
    I can’t help but find it funny with your Taurus guy
    pretending to be another person through the internet! Haha…
    Secret admirer email! That is hilarious!
    Obviously he still thinks of you.
    Going through the trouble of secret admirer and all.
    Seems like it’s important for him to know your status
    and thoughts of him as well. Really, if he had absolutely
    no feelings at all who the heck would do such a thing?
    Maybe he doesn’t want to admit it or not conscious
    of it yet but somewhere inside he wants you back.

    You said he dropped his previous gf and found another
    one… it sounds like he might be insecure. Like he
    is trying to cover up something by dropping one girl
    and finding another quickly.
    I’ve seen people get dumped or break up with
    someone then quickly finding another. OR going
    on countless dates because this person didn’t
    want to deal with the pain of a previous breakup.
    Backup plans. I can understand why people use it.
    Maybe that is what he is doing. While being with
    the previous gf he already decided things were
    not going to work so found someone else right away.

    There were moments when I ran away
    from guys that liked me. I felt hot for them in
    the beginning but once I started to feel they were
    getting too close I ran. I am sure I will
    have those moments again when its time to get
    serious with someone but I’ve come
    to realize that I have to live out of my head.
    One never knows the future and how things
    will work out until its tried.

    This is what I thought of before I ran:
    “When I’m in a relationship with this person
    I have to do this and that… which also means
    I can’t do this. Everything was fun at first
    but now I have to be serious.” The compromises
    of getting out of my comfort zone… despite
    all the good times we’ve had having those
    thoughts made it non existent. Perhaps this is what
    the Taurus men are thinking and feeling?
    My mercury is in Taurus so maybe this applies to them.
    However, seeing that you’re not pursuing him
    makes it harder for him to forget you. Also, you
    were playing cool all this time and he is unsure
    where your feelings stand which makes him
    insecure enough to pretend to be another man online.
    Sounds like he is still having a hard time making
    up his mind. *Sigh* As a mercury in Taurus
    and reading about this in other books they say
    we take a long time deciding things because
    we weigh everything carefully.
    When the dance is over we decide that we actually
    want to dance. But it’s too late the music stopped
    and everyone else is going home!
    Another funny and true thing they mentioned
    which applies to myself as well: We don’t get
    the joke then hours or days later it hits us!
    “Ohhhhh yeahhhh.”

  2068. #2068 by Lioness on June 26, 2011 - 3:04 am

    Thankyou so much for your advice Triangle girl!! I kind have figured those were his reasons its just nice to be able to hear the same thing from another person… I am similar to you with men and pulling away. I dont have any taurus in my chart or anything but I have a capricorn moon. I dont let people get too close to me to start with because secretly I am sizing them up seeing if they will be a good match and wont be someone that will let me walk all over them and I make sure their story is always telling the truth as well as how far are they willing to go when it comes to love. We leos will also test a person out to see if they are worthy and to take it any further that is why leo and taurus are so competitive because we try do see if we can out do the other. I have told my taurus how I felt but he is also not familiar to me there for I am not comfortable with him. I do believe you when you say he is trying to outrun something with all of these women it seems that if he is alone he doesnt have to think about things but if he is alone he does have to sit and think and I do realize that these women he finds arent very serious but it hurts my pride knowing he is out there doing anyone and not caring about my feelings. He keeps coming around for some reason though and he checks through people I know to find out about me but I often wondered why if he had a girlfriend or so on if he was never interested. I tend to overthink things alot but I guess most of these girls do on here with these type of men that is why this is here. What do you think is up with the ignoring thing he seems to regret he ever did it but I often wondered if they cared about someone alot why would you ignore them and find other women. I have read stories that most of the women who married a taurus they thought they werent at all that interested in them?

  2069. #2069 by A_triangle on June 26, 2011 - 4:24 am

    Dear Lioness,

    You sizing and testing someone is a clever
    way to go! I actually feel ashamed that I have not
    done that sooner! After all this world is full of all
    kinds of people. My sister is almost all Capricorn
    and I noticed how she is very careful and slow
    with accepting a guy.

    Well it sort of seems like you are unique to him.
    He quickly gets into a relationship with these girls
    then quickly discards them. With you it was a
    different story! Maybe the girls that he dates right
    away opens up and is easy for him to read. Therefore
    he knows whats going on and not feeling insecure.
    After all the Taurus men like having control with
    predictable outcomes. With you it was probably
    harder for him to figure out. The best reason I
    can come up with is he’s afraid of approaching you.
    If he ignored you all this time then it can be
    certain that he’s lost interest but in your case
    it’s totally different. You can be like that forbidden
    fruit and he is being indecisive about having
    a taste. All he does is keep coming to take
    a look at it from a distance. Haha…

    I’ve come to understand that not everyone
    is like us. Hell yeah it doesn’t make sense
    for someone to ignore you when they like you
    because I can’t do that! However, I guess
    there are people who can. It leaves my head
    still scratching but life is short. If we can all
    be so kind and honest to help the other
    move on with their life then we wouldn’t
    be on this website.

  2070. #2070 by Lioness on June 26, 2011 - 10:22 pm

    Dear Triangle Girl, I totally know what your saying I don’t understand the ignoring thing either but your right some people can do that and not think twice. I think I am just gonna start distancing myself and move on its the best way to do things and maybe someday I will meet the right one for me.. Thanks for all your advice on taurus men this one doesnt seem to appreciate a leo lady at all……

  2071. #2071 by A_triangle on June 27, 2011 - 3:28 am

    Dear Lioness,

    Keep us updated!!! I like to know what happens
    to Lioness on her next episode. Hehe~
    Well as for me with the Aries guy I kinda
    like him but not enough yet. After the previous
    Taurus guy experience I am able to hold
    onto my feelings. Not to compare but I liked
    the Taurus’s sense of humor though. Kinda
    miss it but oh wells~

  2072. #2072 by A_triangle on June 27, 2011 - 3:57 am

    Dear Lioness,

    Oh my gosh guess what?!
    I am having one of those Taurus moments!!!
    Going inside my cave phase is coming.
    I can sense it!!! I don’t know all of a sudden
    I thought of the things I need to do with my
    living situation and how dating seems less
    appealing. A part of me wants to withdraw
    from the Aries guy before it gets deeper.
    Maybe its also because I saw him 3 times
    this week. One thing that kinda bothers me
    about the Aries guy… he usually wants to
    split the bill. Yeah… when I dated Leo and
    Taurus men they always offered to take
    care of it. I like taking turns but when both
    of us have to split each time… ehhh it kinda
    bothers me. What do you think?
    Also we started to get more physically intimate
    and that is kinda making me less interested.
    I sorta like the whole mystery and with holding
    in the beginning. Maybe I am just crazy.

  2073. #2073 by Lioness on June 27, 2011 - 9:47 pm

    Dear Triangle girl,
    That is crazy about the Aries man… Why split a bill usually a man who is interested wants to take care of you not split the bill either he sees you as a friend, or is broke, or doesnt know how to treat a lady right. I never cared for Aries men myself they are not very sophisticated and they act like they are better and have hot tempers and act like a child. I did like that about Taurus men, Virgo, Leo, and some Aqurius men are very romantic and sophisticated.. these men are classy people and they know how to do romance. Me myself I just want to be appreciated and not necessarily a cinderella story but something close.. lol
    I do hear ya on the mystery I dont like people knowing what I am thinking or all of my buisness I like to keep it to myself and I do understand about getting very bored with someone after you figure them out as well. I usually liked to only split the bill if I wasnt interested in a person or if I didnt feel comfortable to know if I wanted another date. If a guy was taking me out all the time paying for everything I would take turns paying like you said.. You dont seem like you are digging this guy to much and you have had 3 dates. Have you tried any Aqurius men or Libras perhaps???

  2074. #2074 by A_triangle on June 28, 2011 - 4:01 am

    Dear Lioness,

    Yeah it’s funny because few Aries men I encountered
    never liked paying for me! hahahah… He is a college
    student, doesn’t have a job, yet manages to pay rent
    and live alright. His parents don’t pay for him but
    I’m assuming he gets the funds from his savings. But still
    I don’t have much money and paid for our lunch
    which was like $20. Eh… but I’m glad you agreed that
    splitting the bill thing is not cool. I didn’t know Aquarius
    men were on the romantic side I always thought they
    were too airy for me! hahaha… My friend never gets
    on with Aries folks and she mentioned “Aries people
    are socially awkward.” Funny because the Aries guy
    I’m dating admitted that! So yeah… I don’t think I
    want to continue dating him. Being friends yeah
    but nothing more!

    I don’t mind when a man makes low income
    but if he is not willing to make the effort of
    treating me in some way then its a turn off.
    I remember dating this Leo guy years ago…
    when he met me outside the subway station
    he gave me a t-shirt that he bought from
    the record store as a random gift! I didn’t
    really like the shirt but I appreciated it
    and still remember to this day. Maybe it’s
    also because Aries folks view chivalry as
    being outdated… he did say “Morals are so outdated.”

  2075. #2075 by cancergirl on June 28, 2011 - 6:05 pm

    Hi its me again!! Didn’t think I’d be posting here about my love for my Taurus guy but here I am, I have been reading your posts though and it seems we’re all dealing with a lot of poop that we wouldn’t ordinarily deal with, I know I wouldn’t!! I don’t understand the hold this guy has over me ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I want it gone because I am not quite the person I’d like to be but I hate the idea of not having him in my life at all.

    After deciding we would just be friends, painful but so much more healthier for me since hes so confused, he still txts, not as often, every couple of days or he will wait for me to log onto fb and tries to chat to me, this is almost 2 months since we called it a day!
    I was on a course in Manchester (miles away from our homes) and i (still being hung up but friendly casual with him) said did he fancy a jolly over, no strings and definatly NO friends with benefits, I expected him to say no but he immediately replied that he’d love to and couldn’t wait to see me etc, so we did and we had a great evening, top class but when we got to the hotel (i already had a room and there honestly wasn’t a twin room available) he asked if we could cuddle, I told him no way that would be crossing the line because we’re just friends, it wasn’t long before we did the deed ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
    The next day after he’s home hes txting me that he does have feelings for me but that it wasn’t all head over heels for him and he feels it should be, which I know isnt strictly true, why txt me ALL day? Skype me all night, visit me or have me visit him all weekends? He just freaks out when it comes to commitment and I cant help him with that. I had said to him that I couldn’t date him again so now he says it doesn’t matter if he still has feelings for me.
    I really don’t want to play this game anymore but I know that if I was patient he would come around in his own time, I’ve started dating again but nobody quite compares, it seems a bit unfair that I am dating whilst I’m still hung up on this guy.
    Today i txt him to say that I was going on a date with a guy and asked if this was for the best, he replied that I should go for it….shame but I don’t think this chapter is over

    Thanks for listening and any thoughts would be happily received.

  2076. #2076 by Lioness on June 29, 2011 - 9:24 pm

    Triangle Girl,
    Any aries men I have dealt with I dont get along with they act like children to me and arent very mature at all. That is ridiculous that he wont pay for you he seems to be making ends meet for his rent like you said what is 20 dollars going to do.. To me he seems like he wants things handed to him and bought by everyone else. But it seems you are attracted to fire signs since you have dated leos and aries have you tried Saggitarius men at all some of them are nice and they like to be on the go too like Gems do!! I hope everything goes well for you and I will post on my next excursion! ๐Ÿ™‚

  2077. #2077 by A_triangle on June 29, 2011 - 9:41 pm

    Dear Lioness,

    I totally agree with you about Aries men. They do act like
    children! hahahah… funny because in astrology they mention
    about Aries having that child like nature no matter how old
    they are. I have a love and hate relationship with Saggie men.
    I like it when fire signs are more down to earth like Taurus
    or some water. Too much fire is not good for me! haha…
    I remember a date I had with a Saggie guy almost a year
    ago and he ended up being a jerk. I always feel self conscious
    and on guard in his presence. He ended up taking me
    to his friends birthday party bar after dinner and
    he left me standing there awkwardly… I stayed for 20mins and left.

    I like when Fire signs are domestic minded. The thought of getting
    married, having a family, security and all makes fire men look
    more attractive to me. I dealt with men who had too much air
    and fire… didn’t seem like they found settling down appealing.
    Anyway can’t wait to read your next excursion!

  2078. #2078 by Lioness on June 30, 2011 - 11:34 pm

    Triangle girl,
    I totally hear what your saying Fire signs want to make me explode more. Water signs arent good for me because we dont mesh well and I feel that most of them dont have a back bone and are very emotional I get along with Pisces the best out of water signs. I like the earth signs my dearest best friend is a Virgo and we have been friends for over 20 years. Capricorns I dont much care for they just seem too mature dont know when to laugh and take everything so serious I think they are worse than taurus. I do love the taurus humor though and we are alot alike I just wish they werent so stubborn and admit when they are wrong and the whole jealousy thing makes me irritated. Right now I am dealing with an aquarius, a leo, and a taurus. The aquarian and the leo bore me so much its not like the taurus where we talk about anything and so on…

  2079. #2079 by A_triangle on July 1, 2011 - 11:44 am

    Dear Lioness,

    Tell me about the Aquarius and Leo!!! I am curious to know
    what they are like to you. Much as I like fire signs sometimes
    I find the communication lacking. My Taurus had a potty mouth
    but I loved his sense of humor and the way we discussed things.
    We both found humor and interest in practical things which
    the Aries guy is lacking.

    Haha its funny you say that about Capricorns! Sometimes they
    seem like the most practical minded folks. I know Leos get jealous
    but never possessive like Taurus. Leos give a lot of freedom to
    their loved ones and remember that they can’t control others.
    I find Aquarius men boring as well.

    Lioness, I feel like I had my fill of men for a while. I don’t find
    much excitement about anyone. I also started a new job that
    I like. I am sure after some time my lonely phase will come about.
    Also, dealing with that 2 week depression over the Taurus
    is making me feel different about dating. I feel less impulsive
    and unwilling to give my heart out to anyone too soon!

  2080. #2080 by Lioness on July 2, 2011 - 2:35 am

    Triangle Girl,
    I hear you about the taurus men they are possesive the one I talk to thinks I have too many friends and he dislikes that I want to lose weight or better myself he is certainly jealous about that and I am not sure why…. Its like he can be free to do whatever he wants date whomever and most of the girls he dates look “easy” if you know what I mean and not very pretty at all. Mine too has a potty mouth but when he is being serious with me he wont say 1 bad word and he acts gentleman like which makes me nervous because you dont know how to take him. I often find that they are like chamelions like everything that interests you they like it as well and if you do something they already did it or they done something similar. Dont feel depressed about Taurus I did as well I felt unworthy and so on.. They want to control your mind and actions remember that I dont allow him to do so and I dont think he likes that. I know I will see him face to face here at the end of the month for an art show I am sure he will have someone with him which I am not sure what to do about that I am trying to come up with a plan I am not going to stoop to his level and have someone with me. I am like you in thinking I want to have someone be there for me interested in only me and to me I think it is ridiculous how you can be with someone and look for others like the taurus guy does as well as jumping from one woman to another and not have any feelings about it. They just seem so cold to me like they dont care as well as stubborn its their way or no way. You will find the right guy for you at least your putting yourself out there to do so…

  2081. #2081 by A_triangle on July 3, 2011 - 11:02 pm

    Happy Sunday Lioness,

    Oh so you’re going to see him soon in person!!!
    Oh my oh my! I hope you don’t forget to share
    what happens there. I agree with you that he will have
    someone if not then what a surprise?
    I believe you’re doing the right thing by not stooping
    to his level since being honest to yourself is the
    foremost important thing. Hmmm but I say you look
    flaming HOT on that day! hehehe~

    Well with this Aries guy I was not really feeling it
    until the 2nd day. However, I don’t like him that much
    therefore my interests are divided and open to anyone
    else that might come along. I feel sort of guilty because
    I prefer being with someone that I feel strongly about.
    *Sigh* however at this moment, I am afraid of giving
    my heart away to a man because I know how I can
    get when things don’t work out. Perhaps its best to
    not look at all. Anyway Lioness I remember your
    Venus is in Leo. I’ve come across people who have
    Venus in Leo and I must say they are romantics and
    strong lovers! hehe~ Loyal and enduring. It seems
    like Venus in Leos have a hard time getting over
    someone quickly especially when they really liked
    that person.

  2082. #2082 by Lioness on July 5, 2011 - 10:08 pm

    Thankyou triangle girl,
    I am feeling low today I just found out he left the gemini, is now dating a virgo that just got divorced late last year. I just feel like a game to him and its ruining my pride and ego and making me feel depressed not to mention she has a very good job and it seems that is all its about anymore is a woman who makes alot of money is single and can take care of him and his needs. I seriously dont know why I waste the time anymore. Why do taurus men jump from woman to woman to woman first it was me then he tries to make me jealous with the gem and now it is like are you going to fight for me and ends up with a virgo it just makes my feelings turn to some sort of hatred for the man reallly. I am a leo any man would love to be with me and I have had plenty of offers believe me but none of them I know are worthwhile and I am not like him jumping from man to man just to have someone in my life either. I know he will be there at the art show with this new chick who is not at all pretty at all and looks like she is tomboyish at that. So I know that is what is going to happen and it will put a damper on my evening. I wish I could find a man who respects me and wants to be there for me on love I have just given up having many wrong men and like you afraid to give my heart away to the unworthy.

  2083. #2083 by A_triangle on July 6, 2011 - 2:34 am

    Dear Lioness,

    I am sorry to hear that you’re feeling low today. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
    I totally understand where you’re coming from.
    I know Venus in Leos are also very selective folks.
    Thats why I believe once they find someone they
    try to hang on for long as they can. I feel frustrated
    and angry at myself when I lose my confidence
    over a man. You and I are similar in some ways.
    I can’t be with someone I feel lukewarm/mutual about.
    It’s always intense love/hate that makes me keep
    coming back for more

    Well if this Virgo woman was prettier would it make
    you feel any better? Lioness, please think things
    differently. The more you think of why he is being
    with these “types” of women its going to hurt your
    ego. Just think like this: Yes, you are a beautiful,
    intelligent, loyal, romantic, strong Leo woman but
    he is not the man for you. He is blind to realize
    what he is missing thats why he is not pursuing
    you. Perhaps he is not the person you
    thought he was. So far from my experience with
    people especially those who can really talk
    and give you a GREAT feeling are just as capable
    of disappointing you BIG TIME. I know I am.
    I’ve given many impressions to other men (whom,
    I wasn’t that interested in by the way) that I was
    right for them.

    Sometimes good signs like the
    spiritual connection you shared with the Taurus
    does not promise anything long term. My gosh
    I got on with my Taurus SO DAMN WELL and
    look what happened in the end! It was also hard
    for me to get over but thats the way of the world.
    Now I see it as a brief flame that we shared.
    Maybe your Taurus could be your soul mate
    or one of the few men that makes you feel intense
    however, just accept that it didn’t work from
    the things you can’t control. Like timing.
    Who knows if I met my Taurus in
    the future and not the past we could have
    had a chance. Perhaps your Taurus will
    come to a realization or he could continue
    with his ways. The reason why I am afraid
    of giving my heart to a man is because he will
    have my all. I know I will drop everything
    to be with him if I felt he was “the one.”
    I wouldn’t even care of other handsome
    men that exist in this world. To be honest
    with you Lioness I don’t even know if
    I will have the chance to do something like
    that. Anyway I wish you can move on.
    It makes me sad to see people hung up
    on others.

  2084. #2084 by Lioness on July 6, 2011 - 11:50 pm

    Thankyou triangle girl,
    I feel the same way as you… I cant give my all to just anyone at all… You are so right any man who can treat me as if I dont matter and can try to hurt me isnt worth my time. He broke into my account again today to see what I was doing who I was chatting with right when I was on my phone. Makes me wonder why to be honest he seems like he could care less about me and to have all of this drama. No this virgo is not prettier than me at all and she could be the sweetest woman but things dont change he is still acting like a player even made the comment earlier to me today about having lots of variety which to me sounds like he doesnt want to get hurt and maybe I am being a little self centered But I think that may be part of the reason he stays at a distance. When I come in contact with him he thinks I dont notice but he it is like his mouth is hanging open starting at me and for a man who was never interested doesnt do that even used to do it with other women he was with. For me it makes me more angrier by the day and it makes me want to find the hottest guy and flaunt him just to put him in his place. I am seriously beginning to have enough of this game with him. Your taurus doesnt know what he is missing maybe he was scared as well because you and him think alike since you have a taurus mercury you never know. But if he could be a jerk like that you dont need him at all. I do hate myself as well for thinking some man could hold a power over me and string me along. Little by little I am loosing feelings for him thinking to myself what can he really do for me and so on… and I think to myself yeah he may treat me right in the beginning but I have the feeling he will get bored and keep looking like he does now.

  2085. #2085 by A_triangle on July 11, 2011 - 9:16 pm

    Dear Lioness,

    Don’t you feel like he is stalking you?
    I mean really?
    Yeah there you go! Even though he has
    this new virgo with him he still wants
    variety. Doesn’t that make you feel better?
    That there was absolutely nothing wrong
    with you and whoever he comes across
    he will remain the same. Pretty, intelligent,
    sweet, successful… he still chooses to
    have his foot out the door.

    This Taurus guy friend that I know was dating
    a Pisces for 2 years. He cheated on her several
    times and flirted with new girls. He even
    flirted with me while he was with her. They broke
    up a while back and she found another guy
    short time later. Of course he wouldn’t show
    that he missed her or anything to HER but
    he did tell me things! How he was starting
    to miss her and he found out who the guy she
    was dating and such. He lives in LA and she recently
    moved to NYC. Not sure if he was serious but
    asked me if I could spy on her for him! hahaha…
    Yet his heart and mind is constantly wandering.
    I was charmed by him in the beginning but he’s
    also been honest with me about hooking with
    many girls while in a relationship. So your
    Taurus kinda does relate to my Taurus friend.
    Your Taurus is constantly checking up on you
    giving you mixed signals. Accept that he does
    miss you but that’s all. He doesn’t have you
    at the moment but once he does he will be
    wandering again. It’s like a loop that goes
    on and on. Only God knows when its going to end.
    Sometimes I wonder if my Taurus friend will ever
    settle down. I remember him saying how a part
    of him wants stability in a relationship yet he
    can’t help himself from wandering. He said
    several times how he wanted to date me
    then go cheat with other girls. Hahaha…
    so I said “You cheat on me I will do the same.”
    He says: “Hell no! You’re messed up!”

    You’re an intelligent woman and know that
    you deserve best. Accept that your Taurus
    is like this and it won’t change. Even if a
    woman who had almost everything came
    along he will wander.

  2086. #2086 by A_triangle on July 11, 2011 - 9:30 pm

    Dear Lioness,

    I hope my previous post can help you to
    move on. It’s the best answer and advice
    I can give based on your experience
    and what I know about the Taurus friend.
    I totally forgot to think of him while reading
    some of your posts. He does somehow relate
    a lot to your Taurus.

    You will definitely find someone else!
    I also went on a date with this new Pisces
    guy. Our astrology compatability was not
    good but I can tell he was more into me
    than I was. Since I dealt with a good number
    of guys disappearing or changing their
    mind on me while things seemed great
    I am not the same again. Whatever they
    say or do I take it in half heartedly. In some
    ways it scares me because I feel numb.
    The Pisces guy was pretty attractive and
    also had good manners. He paid for
    everything on our first date. Also has
    a great career. Looks like a great catch.
    Yet I don’t have the energy or heart
    to be excited like how I used to.

  2087. #2087 by Lioness on July 11, 2011 - 10:19 pm

    Thanks so much Triangle girl, since we have last chatted I have not talked to him for now 2 days. The last time I talked to him he was short with me but asked what I had been doing. He says I have too many friends and I do feel like he is stalking me by keeping tabs on me. Him and I were never together so that makes a difference we just talked as friends and he didnt like that but also states can we be “just friends” I liked him more than that but at first he wanted to reject me which did hurt my feelings and that was over 2 years ago. I have noticed with his friends they tell them everything wont lie and so on but he would hardly be a friend but would keep tabs and kept me at some sort of a distance. I have also confronted him about stringing me along he did not reply when I did. There was a time him and I could talk all day and night and I am not sure what happened I feel as if he wanted more and I was too scared to go for it. My last relationship was with a pisces he broke my heart in pieces I never felt the same towards men after that which was part of my problem with this taurus I wasnt prepared for him and I dont want to get hurt again. Part of me says move on from this man another part of me says he is the one. When I first met the taurus he was literally shaking I guess I made him that nervous he said I was the most prettiest girl he knew and he wasnt used to that which I am not sure was a line or what since I know that they will make you feel like your the only one when your not. The taurus guy has stated several times he wont let me leave him and the last time we had an in depth conversation I was going to not ever talk to him and he got angry he went on and on about how he will not allow me to do this and so on and it wasnt going to work that way. I have thought about that over and over again and I ask myself why especially when he dates others, acts like I am just a thorn in his side, wants to talk when HE does but the flip side is most of the time he acts like he could care less but stalks me and I dont understand this. As for a heads up with Pisces men they are addicts whether it be workaholism or drug addicts or whatever and they are moody not so much as taurus men but they are I get along with them very well I just would never date another one maybe this one is different you will have to see sometimes they can be shy as well but always talk to a stranger and make friends. Anyways, I am going to let the taurus go and see what God has instore for me its killing me not to talk to him but really where has it got me when I have which is no where so I will be happy for him and his Virgo gf I hope maybe she can be the one for him. Thanks for your great advice Triangle!!

  2088. #2088 by Pisceslady on July 23, 2011 - 4:49 pm

    I wish I had found this site months ago. I’ve been seeing a Taurus man and he’s been doing the same to me for so long. When we first started seeing one another, this guy would burn my phone up calling, sending text messages and e-mails all throughout the day. Then it started slacking off and I couldn’t figure out why. I would get all upset and tell him, I couldn’t do this any longer..He would be so calm and tell me, whatever makes you happy, Angel..Then I would think, GIRL YOUR CRAZY!! And tell him No this is not what I really want…I fell so damn hard for my Taurus! When we were together.OMG! It was the most wonderful thing I’d ever experienced! Then it would start all over and I’d back out again! Hell, I think I’m BI-POLAR. Anyway, last Friday nite after I hadn’t heard from him since Wednesday, He called around 9:30. I was with some friends and we had been drinking a good bit, I wasn’t nice and ask him why didn’t I hear from him and as he called it giving him the 3rd degree. I didn’t hear anything from him until Monday but only after I sent him an e-mail but, he never replied. I then sent a text, asking him if he was going to talk to me again and I was sorry for being rude to him on Friday. He then replied and said to find someone else to disrespect. He was DONE!!! I freaked out!!! Sent him several text messages and he wonโ€™t reply. I did send him a text Tuesday and he text me back saying, it Hurts like Hell, You know I feel it 2. We have to end this, you know we do. Then he took off from work the rest of the week.

    Well, itโ€™s been a week and Iโ€™m still hurting like crazyโ€ฆWill I ever get him back?

  2089. #2089 by sweet pisces on July 24, 2011 - 8:16 pm

    I think the last time I posted was last year. Throughout 2010 my Taurus and I had some falling outs.. I felt like he wasn’t there like I needed him to be. And he displayed some actions that were inappropriate for being in a relationship with someone else. It wasn’t till the end of the year when things really changed for the better. I think it was the realization he might lose me for good that he really cleaned up his act and took our relationship seriously. The boat only rocks when my insecurity gets the best of me, but in the end I know I have nothing to worry about.
    They say Taurus are super romantic and loving, but I find its only in the beginning or when they’re trying to make up for something. That’s what I realuzed about mine, anyway. And they def don’t like to be pushed, as they get comfortable and set in their ways. I feel like its when they’re upset is when they start to venture and make dumb decisions. I think it took finding this site and really learning a Taurus personality is what helped me out. And it helped to read the posts to know we’re worth much more than a wishy-washy guy, regardless of star sign. I know we all love/loved the Taurus we have vented about. I really love mine and feel we have things in place now. And even with the bs we had gone through last year, it is still my best relationship. I think its our personality types and how we mesh together.
    I think my best advice is to not be clingy if there is a falling out. If its meant to be, its meant to be. During my drama, he and I stopped talking for a week or two. Each time its always him that came back. They don’t really like being alone. And make them work for it. Show them your still having fun and living life; it can be done without them. They’ll see what they’re missing.

  2090. #2090 by Jane on July 30, 2011 - 8:53 am

    Hi to everyone, i have been reading all your dramas with our wonderful Taurus men!!
    I was here about 18months ago and was in many situations like most of you. Me and my bull where ‘friends’ we started out in a relationship and about 3months in he began to ‘back off’ with the usual Taurus way. Anyway long story short we continued in this ‘friends’ mode for over a year with him telling me always ‘bare with me’ ‘its you i want’ ‘give me time’ to which i did, i loved him believed him and wanted very much to get back to how we where. Christmas 2009 was amazing we got so close and the start of 2010 looked great and i could feel us moving forward ‘SLOWLY’ as you all know slow is all Taurus know!! I was happy with this and had always been consistent in my approach and i knew i felt i was genuine.

    Here i might add we met originally on a dating site, then in March 2010 my friend was showing me her profile on a dating site and the worst thing ever happened…… There he was, my bull on the dating site like i didnt exist!!!! I was heartbroken he had lead me to believe all this time that we would be together, i learnt to be patient as i am not the most patient person around!
    Anyway i ended things between us, felt betrayed. Sent him an email pouring my heart out with how hurt i was and he sent me a 1 line reply saying sorry and that i had it all wrong he was only chatting on line and not meeting anyone, bullshit!!!
    Anyway now after 16 months of nothing from him he has made contact again!!
    I am stuck and confused as to why he has bothered because his contact was by email, very short just saying hello and asking how i was, i must admit i was delighted to hear from him as always been on my mind. We emailed back and forth for 2weeks, he asking if i am ‘married’ ‘what im up to’ that sort of thing then he gave me his number to call him, i did and it was like we hadnt been away, we laughed and chatted it was so lovely then we went to text and he asked me at the begining of July (nearly 4 weeks ago) to meet for coffee, i agreed it would be nice to see him again then NOTHING!!! He texts every morning, then disappeared!! havnt heard from him now for a week, which i know in Taurus world is not long but i dont get it, he contacted me, WHY!!?? He asked me to meet him WHY!!?? I text him a few days ago sayin how lovely it was to hear from him after all this time and that while the texting is nice i dont see the point if he doesnt want to meet with me. He hasnt replied!! I do not want to go down that same route i did a few years ago with him, i have changed in that i wont put up with him messing me about but i just dont understand why he has bothered in the first place to just disappear again!!?? Any ideas? I had hoped he was missing me and feeling he had moved forward and wanted to start something with me but it now doesnt seem that way!!
    Thanks, Jane xx

  2091. #2091 by Jane on July 30, 2011 - 4:12 pm

    pisceslady

    I agree with what sweet pisces says these guys do not do clingy woman!! Ladylike and calm is the only way to go. Give him time to think things through, he will contact you in time if its you he wants. Dont chase him, he will back up!!

  2092. #2092 by Pisceslady on August 1, 2011 - 6:35 pm

    Thanks you Ladies for all the words of wisdom and encouragements..I can now see all of you are right but, you know what? I’m done with it! I’ve suffered so much the last two and 1/2 weeks but, not any longer. I’m a strong woman and will not let this man hurt me again. Give him time? to do what, come back into my life and cause more pain and hurt? I think NOT! He said he was finished and I believe him…I wish him the best and hope one day he will be truly happy..

  2093. #2093 by Jane on August 1, 2011 - 7:38 pm

    Hi Pisceslady, good for you, it is right that you put yourself first. It is his loss and maybe when he wakes up and realises that he will be too late!!
    Good luck to you xx

  2094. #2094 by Pisceslady on August 1, 2011 - 8:17 pm

    Jane, Thanks….I never in a million years will be able to understand why things turned out the way they did…I loved this Man so much! Maybe that was why it ended. He never told me he loved me..Not one time. oh he showed it all right and I felt that he did but, he could never tell me. I don’t know what else to do but move on..Take care and I hope things turn out better for you.

  2095. #2095 by Jane on August 1, 2011 - 8:29 pm

    Pisceslady

    Thankyou to you too. I dont know if you read any of my history from 2009 through to 2010, unbelievable ups and downs and like you, i will never understand why things turned out the way they did. They are so complexed and feel so deep, i learnt so much about myself in all that time and i gave so much, too much infact. Now here he is back again and i have no idea why!!!!! Crazy. You are right to move on, save your sanity and let him find his way back to you if its truly what he wants, that way you will know it is meant to be coz he found his own way!! I hope you are ok as i well know how they can reel us in!! x

  2096. #2096 by A_triangle on August 3, 2011 - 10:50 pm

    Dear Jane,

    Sorry to hear things did not work out.
    I am totally over my Taurus because
    I met someone else. He is a Pisces.
    Things were going great until his
    friend stepped in to “slow us down.”
    Anyway long BS story. I guess men
    regardless of their sign are stressful
    creatures. I hate how us women have
    to be calculating in order to keep the
    men interested. Really really hate it
    however, it seems to be the only thing
    men will respond to. Men complain how
    women start to become too emotionally
    attached however they are just as
    responsible for putting US in that position.
    One week they act as if we are already
    in a relationship then next its disappearing,
    fading away or the “we should slow down”
    talk. I hate to say this but I feel like all women
    should be more cunning, calculating and
    not take in everything a man does and says
    in the beginning no matter how great things
    are. It’s so easy to put up a front
    of yourself in the beginning when times are
    good. A person’s true color starts to show
    when it passes that phase. Because really,
    really in the end I feel like most women get
    screwed over so we must protect ourselves.
    Anyway Jane, I am sure you hurt a lot and
    its stressful but trust me. THERE IS A BETTER
    MAN for you.

  2097. #2097 by Jane on August 4, 2011 - 7:55 am

    A triangle

    Hi triangle, yes you are right when you say ‘one week they act like they in a relationship next they disappear’!!! So true. I always believed deep down that he was the guy for me, we’ve got so much history and i know the TAURUS BULLSHIT inside and out! I know how they tick, well most of the time and i think thats what was hard for me because he knew i understood him, had his back (if you know what i mean) yet he couldnt commit. As i said he made contact after 15months of nothing, emailed for 2weeks, texts for a further 3weeks now he has vanished again!!! CRAZY!!! I would never go down that same route with him as it got me nowhere thats why this time i hoped him contacting me meant he was ‘ready’ well thats bullshit too coz i actually feel his contact was to just ‘check in’ to see how i would receive him, well i guess he got the response he wanted as i was very nice to him and if i am honest, happy to hear from him again. Thats it now, i want nothing else from him and i hope he does contact again so i can IGNORE HIM!!! Like he has ignored me haha. THanks triangle, i agree theres a better man for me. Good luck to you with your pisces guy, at least with him you may get to keep your sanity!!

    Thanks for your response i do love this blog!!

  2098. #2098 by A_triangle on August 4, 2011 - 11:49 am

    Dear Jane,

    I am glad to hear that you are moving on.
    I totally agree with you that most likely
    he did contact you to see how you
    would receive him then changed his
    mind again. Wow 15 months of no
    contact huh? That is pretty crazy.
    Anyway I have no idea how things
    will work out with the Pisces. He’s
    been a real prick to me since his douchebag
    friend came to stay at his place for 3 weeks.
    If you read my response a while back I’ve
    been dealing with a Taurus depression
    for 2 weeks. I am exhausted and really, really
    I was so close to burning the bridge with the Pisces guy.
    He is the one who f**ked up however, I decided
    to be patient and wait for his douche friend to leave.
    Seriously, what the f**k. It’s always us women
    who end up being understanding and patient.
    It seems like guys can act like douchebags to us
    but once we get “emotional” they think we are crazy.
    Anyway goodluck to you Jane and I hope you
    keep us updated! Hopefully the next one will be
    a happier one!

  2099. #2099 by Jane on August 4, 2011 - 7:31 pm

    Hi to you triangle

    Great name by the way!! Heehee.
    Yes i am moving on, i have to, but this guy impacted my life so bad, the last 15 months i have thought of him often and it saddens me that he makes contact just to disappear again!!! I wish he hadnt bothered, i was doin ok, dating, out with friends having fun and overall getting on with my life and now he’s done it again……back in my head!!! I have done alot of growing since he was last in my life and i would never allow him to mess me up like he did before thats for sure, i loved him and i guess always put his poor taurus bullshit issues before my own!! What a joke!!
    I dont know if you read any of my input from last year but OMG the ride was crazy!!! I dont know if i will hear from him again, who knows….whatch this space!!! HAHA

    Thinking about your situation and what you say about men and their crazy self centered ways, you know how you said we are patient and understanding and the minute we have needs and emotions involved they act like ‘douchebags’ haha (as you put it) like that word haha your so right and what i have learned is to always remain one step behind, meaning always let him lead, plan, date, show feeling, express emotion, always let them reveal first that way you cant lose and you protect yourself, also i think men like it this way to, they love the thrill of the chase, so triangle, let this pisces guy come after you, he knows you like him, let him work for you and deserve you, that way if he gets you he will appreciate you. You have only known him a short time, step back and if he wants you he will be sure to come after you, if he doesnt then he not worth ‘you’ and his loss!! xx

  2100. #2100 by Lioness on August 8, 2011 - 5:00 am

    Hi girls!! I am trying to figure out why these taurus men will talk to you for a few minutes then act like they dont care and ignore? Why do you think the reasons are for this? I would think if they didnt care they wouldnt talk at all not sure. This has just been weighing on my mind how they can act like asses for no reason and full of rage and then expect you to talk and be nice and get along. The one I have been talking to over the years acts so condescending and makes snide remarks but gets mad and acts like he doesnt care and will go into periods of silence and it annoys me alot. He acts like a total douche and he says he is a selfish asshole which I cannot deny. But I am wondering why they make up stories just to act like this?

  2101. #2101 by sweet pisces on August 8, 2011 - 5:26 am

    Lioness.. my conclusion I’ve always had with my bull when we’d have our outs is they just want one foot in the door. Something I’ve noticed with taurus is they can shut off their feelings if they’re not there. My best friend is a male taurus, my bf is a taurus… I’ve seen how they treat people they certainly don’t care for. I think when bulls give that 2 sec attention is because they somewhat care and need to know if you do too. On the otherhand they’re the biggest freakin teases.. so it also could be like just knowing they’re still wanted, but unsure if they want something… I guess this resonse doesn’t help other than just confirm to me they can be wishy washy. In the end that’s why I try to stand by trying your best at the relationship and if they start getting all weird then to let them. And live life w/o them. Then they’ll freak if they care that you’re doing something without them. Then they come back if its meant to be. That’s how it has worked with me and my bull in the past. Hopefully no more hiccups for us and all the heartaches are done with.

  2102. #2102 by Lioness on August 8, 2011 - 5:40 pm

    Thankyou sweet pisces your statement made alot of sense to me and I see that. The taurus that I am dealing with will check up on me thru people I know and everything I do to him he does back. We have gone through pushing each other way and trying to hurt each other and in the end he still comes back and still keeps other women on the backburner and thats what irritates me and then when I talk to other men he goes into fits of rages and he will have that condescending attitude and short talk and just being an ass he will put the walls up and you cant get anywhere with him and feel more than a bother to him than anything. I told a friend I didnt really care for him anymore and they told him granted I was angry with him for being a tease and leading me on, I guess he took it to heart ever since then has been short and angry and so on or will just refuse to talk to me even as a friend. I feel myself loosing feelings for him though each day it seems to grow farther and farther apart and really after trying my hardest to keep the communication open it seems to be just me trying to do this as he plays games when I do just to act like a jerk. I really dont need someone that moody and up and down and when I confront him about it he turns it around to make me think its me and men like that are loosers. I am not sure why I am still going on about him I guess its just me trying to understand them more just to see if in the end it is me….

  2103. #2103 by Jane on August 8, 2011 - 6:59 pm

    Hi Lioness and sweet pisces

    I have also been dealing with a Taurus for a long time although i think he has gone for good this time, who knows!! My experience with Taurus acting interested then back off is that they must stay in control of EVERYTHING!!! So freakin scared to be hurt that they dont care who they hurt in the prosess, madness! Also if they like you they do this to see how interested in them you are, they always stay one step behind, always waiting in the wings for you to reveal to them first, that way they look after themselves. I do believe its part of Taurus prosess of assessing how they feel and what they want, they just do not care how they mess our head up when they do. They need space big time and once in their own little ‘cave’ that is it he will not be forced out until ready! Just give him that space, always let him know your there but let him come to you. Patience is the thing!! Dont you just hate that word!! HAHAHA xx

  2104. #2104 by Lioness on August 8, 2011 - 8:59 pm

    Thanks Jane, I believe you are right they give the speech “oh I don’t want to hurt you” I think its an excuse if things progress they dont want to be the ones to get hurt. This man I am dealing with goes for women that seem like they are needy and have alot of money. I am not sure why this is if its to be taken care of or what. To me its a turnoff I dont like needy men and who cant be by themselves and use women for what they want. After 2 years, I think I am beginning to see the true colors of this taurus man and its turning me off. Although, the connection we had and everything in common is pretty much what makes me wonder about taurus men. Us Leo’s hold on to everything til its gone and I believe it is now cause he doesn’t want to be my friend and he seems to make no effort or anything unless I do and he gets me back for everything. Like the other day I messaged him up and he wasn’t really talking back so I just stopped txting anyways same thing happens yesterday messaged him up and he quits txt me back. He plays many headgames he texted saying why cant you just figure things out and put 2 and 2 together. Well I am not one for games and when I do play one its purely in fun till I get bored. This man has been trying to make me jealous with other women, on the net he will pretend to be other men still giving himself away and now he gets angry when I treat him like one of the people hes trying to be he gets angry and moody and goes into these fits and acts like he is 2. It is unnerving to me and he wont accept that I just want to be a friend I dont understand these men at all. I can be patient but geez its like one headgame after the other and its beginning to get old real fast. Plus he is not a good talker I get bored really quick he wont hardly communicate when he does its just bs ive never seen the likes of it. Seems like they cant hold a conversation at all. Anyways thats just my rants and raves about this man.

  2105. #2105 by Jane on August 9, 2011 - 3:42 pm

    Lioness

    Hi Lioness, well it seems like me, you have had your fare share of the Taurus BULLSHIT!!! My thought is ( this is from experience) leave him alone, i mean dont even try to be friends with him, that was the mistake i made, although it was fine to begin with, he then ‘stopped trying’ didnt care coz he thought i was always there in the wings! Girl, ‘do you’ and leave him to ‘do him’ (which is what Taurus do best haha) and believe me if it is truly you he wants he will come after you. Mine just didnt truly want me if he did he would be with me pushing his sorry ass to win me over haha. As i said, 15 months of nothing then he returns with all these questions of interest for 5 weeks then vanishes again!!! WTF!!! So now its been 2weeks since i last heard from him and i will never understand why he got back in touch in the first place, total mystery to me! Maybe i will never know, his loss anyway. Such complexed creatures Taurus men, guess thats why we love them so much haha xx

  2106. #2106 by sweet pisces on August 9, 2011 - 5:08 pm

    Man! Lioness and Jane.. they’re so aggravating aren’t they? I really dread if I were to go through drama with mine again. Its so heartbreaking. Why can’t they be upfront?? Its almost, or it is, too much pride to say I’m sorry, I was wrong, I need you. Even getting a real apology from my bull was non-existant. It seems like being there and back together, trying, and being different was the apology.
    Ok, I’m going off in a tangent.. but I wanted to say chicks on the back burner was an issue with me too. He tried to write it off as just flirting and then had also said I get so ‘crazy’ that he wanted someone else to talk to that he would talk to other girls. Certainly not ok with me. We’d never do that! Otherwise we’re hypocrites for venting here on our common injustices. Me and my T are on the same page now and I really like how we’ve turned out for the better. They are complex, and alluring, and make themselves to be worth it. But they are the shittiest to fight with. Jane is right, Do you! They do them all the time and make us suffer through it. I’m really sorry for the heartaches you’re going though. Mine did his vanishing act and reappearance, and I hated him for it when he gave me another silent treatment… but all to come back (hopefully for good) in the end. And i know its because I was moving on and he couldn’t take being without me.

  2107. #2107 by Jane on August 9, 2011 - 6:47 pm

    Sweet pisces

    Hi to you, good to hear things working out for you, you are proof that if he TRULY TRULY wants you, he will be back to claim you for sure!! As yours did. Thats why i know my bull truly does not want me, i maybe was testing the water on his recent return but truth is he has gone again. Difference this time which i am sure he will notice, i have not reacted at all, not text, chased or done anything to ask him anything coz part of me is glad he has gone, i want to move on like i deserve, he will be wondering why i am acting as i am and the reason i think he has some kinda feeling for me is him coming around again after 15months!!!! How mad is that!!??

    I am done with him and yes the truth is i hoped his return after all that time meant he was finally serious about me, i guess i was wrong!!!

    I love this blog and i will keep chatting with you wonderful ladies and keep you posted, well you never know i may meet another TAURUS!!! HAHA Oh goodness dont think i could do that again haha xx

  2108. #2108 by Lioness on August 9, 2011 - 11:00 pm

    Thanks Jane and sweet pisces for the words of encouragement. I think it is time I do me for a change let him go and see what happens. I am irritated with how he is acting towards me I am going through some hard times I tell him what it is and he gets hateful about it and like it doesnt even matter no words for comfort nothing. I mean what an ass to do so and its like everytime I talk to him he dismisses me and if thats the way he wants to be then so be it my pride and my feelings are hurt and with these other women he just bounces too I mean that irritates me too to think a man can use and jump from one person to the next and not have any feelings at all about it. He cant even be a friend to me and your right Jane why keep trying there is no point to and he knows I am always there and will speak to me on his time which is getting aggravating as well so I hope he can find someone as good as me because he doesnt know what he is about to loose and right now I could care less because its one game after the other what I do he does back and its getting ridiculous my guess is he will be too cowardly to do anything and will just jump to another girl I am glad I am beginning to see him for what he is a spineless coward who strings women along and will talk crap as soon as I turn a corner. He would tell mutual friends he wasnt interested in me what I dont understand is if he wasnt why make a point to be nice, why stare at me, and why keep talking to me. So its definately his loss I am going to take some me time get my priorities in order and hopefully I will meet a decent guy that truley cares. I will keep up to date with you ladies stories to see how it all turns out!!

  2109. #2109 by Jane on August 10, 2011 - 5:15 pm

    Lioness

    When you say ‘there is no point when he knows i am always there’ you are right, for you to truly know if he has an ounce of feeling for you he has to miss you, want you realise as you say ‘what he about to lose’ so very true, if he doesnt then he is not worthy of you and you wouldnt want him anyway. If he jumps to another girl then he never felt it for you anyway and better you know that now. I felt just like you back in my Taurus bullshit days so i understand you frustrations. Taurus need to do things in their own time and will NEVER, no matter how he feels about you, do anything until he ready, always his term, that will never change. So if you want to test for real how he feels, walk away, dont make a scene by telling him what your doing that will only bring drama in his eyes and make him back off more, just back off, do ‘you’ let him miss you, if he does he will return if he doesnt then he doesnt deserve you and some other lucky guy will get you, watch is sorry ass run to you then!! Good luck, yeah keep us posted xx

  2110. #2110 by Lioness on August 10, 2011 - 10:36 pm

    Thanks Jane,
    Thats what I am doing I am more and more distancing myself from the situation and him and he is trying to draw me back in and not sure why now he is emailing me when he cant talk to me its like he wants me on this string and to date other women and lie about them in the process or make up some story about it or just not talk about it at all. We will see how it all turns out.

  2111. #2111 by cancer girl on September 2, 2011 - 6:38 pm

    I’m here again. confused as always but only slightly heart broken.
    I still think of him all of the time, it really is unusual for me to let someone get under my skin in this way and he knows it. Even though I am a Cancer Im not the typical type and have not been moping around, I have been dating and even have a wonderful guy who wants nothing more than to be my bf. He says the most wonderful things, I could bottle him up and sell him at valentines he’s so sweet but he’s simply too sweet for me, emotional etc He keeps saying he misses me ALL of the time and wont stop calling me throughout the day which was sweet for the first day or so but I am an independent, working, single mother I haven’t got the time for several phone calls per day and two dozen I miss you txts because I don’t which is cruel but anyway here’s why I can’t enjoy the princess treatment….my Taurus wont leave me alone!! still! I don’t get it!?

    It’s been months since he insisted we should just be friends despite me KNOWING he had feelings for me, he said he was confused and didn’t know what he wanted which I believe..he’s still single and isn’t the kind of guy to play the field as such, he still txts me once or twice a week, chit chat, art, fashion what we’ve been up to etc he txt to say have a great holiday and txt the second I landed to welcome me back into the country (knowing when I was returning) so I MUST be on his mind often?? He says he enjoys our chats and still checks out my fb and twitter all of the time, tries to catch me on the chat function or skype when we’re both at work.
    I’m not sure what his intentions are? I’m not saying I would have him back immedietly but there’s a strong chance I would, we really were so good together, bad timing I think.
    I just don’t get why he’s still trying to keep me around? I DO NOT txt him first he always txts me first, or calls or tries to chat with me via fb etc, I make a point of that so I know it is him doing the running but he’s still sort of at arms length.
    A long post and thankyou for reading it I would love a reply from you guys you all seem to have jumped through the same hoops x

  2112. #2112 by pisceslady on October 4, 2011 - 11:59 pm

    Well, Here I am again. Still as confused as before..I guess I really need to come clean on what actually happened between myself and Mr. Taurus. We met last February and I wasn’t looking for anyone to be involved with. See I’m married and have been for 11 years. My Husband is a great guy and we used to have very good times together. Seems like we just grew apart. We haven’t been intimate with each other in over a year. Well, I was out with my friends and I met Mr.Taurus. Like I said I wasn’t interested in anyone but, something between us just clicked. He only would come to the bar we play darts at on Wednesday nights and just watch us play. I would see him and say hi, sit and chit chat, if I wasn’t playing. One night he stayed longer than usual and even played a game of darts. He told me there was another guy playing and he didn’t feel right about leaving me there alone. I told him I was fine and he left but, ask me to send him a text when I left, so he would know I was okay…Ha Ha..I fell for that one! Anyway, I texted him on my way home to let him know I was okay. A couple days later he called me and we exchanged e-mails. We started e-mailing, texting and he would call several times a day. Oh, I guess I forgot to mention, he’s also married…22 years! Anyway, this went on for several weeks and then one night I had mentioned I was going to a Birthday party for one of my Girlfriends at another Bar and you guessed it, He showed up!! We had such a good time together and there, It all started…He kept up with the calls, everyday and finally towards the end of March we decided to meet and spend the night together…OMG, for someone who hasn’t had an intimate relationship for over a year…I was in total heaven! He talked about his wife telling me that he hasn’t been intimate with her because she just starred at the ceiling wishing it was over…I felt so bad for him, because this man is so wonderful in bed, I couldn’t understand how on earth a woman could have a Husband like this and just deprive him of what he had to offer..I fell madly in love with him but, before we were ever intimate I let him know that I wouldn’t ever divorce my Husband. I just couldn’t hurt him like that. I thought I could handle the affair but, it started getting to me and I tried to break it off several times then, I would think of how we would be together and tell him, I was sorry but, I didn’t want to let go of what we had together.. I was an emotional wreck!!!!! I felt guilty and scared, because I was falling so in love with him. I thought I could handle this but, I was wrong. Then one night in July he called me kinda late and I blew a fuse because I hadnโ€™t heard from him in two days..He got mad and ended our relationship. I was devastated!!! Finally we started talking again but only thru e-mail and text. He hasnโ€™t called me once, since the night I got mad. It is now October and we still talk everyday thru email but he will not see me at allโ€ฆSayโ€™s he canโ€™t and yes, I get emotional! I want to see him so badly and go back to the way we were. He makes comments that he misses me. I can reply to one of his e-mails asking him how his day is and he will reply, without! In other words, heโ€™s gone back to no intimacy but, he still doesnโ€™t want to see me. He wants to be friends and continue with our text and e-mails but thatโ€™s it. Iโ€™ve tried and have for several months but, if I say anything about seeing him, he pulls away and accuses me of being emotional againโ€ฆPlease someone tell me what I should do..Should I break off all contact with him or wait until he decides he wants to see meโ€ฆI miss him so much!

  2113. #2113 by Lioness on October 5, 2011 - 10:00 pm

    It sounds like he is another Taurus man I think if he really cared about you he wouldnt get cold like that if he is married he won’t leave his wife they hang on to things for along time. He is probably still talking to you because that is what he made his routine into talking and emailing you everyday. Believe me I was dealing with a taurus man the same way we would talk everynight and when I wouldnt hear from him he was with someone else but he would still make it a point when he could to talk. Just try to distance yourself from him maybe think about your marriage if you want it and to make things better with your husband if thats what you want.

  2114. #2114 by inma on October 7, 2011 - 5:28 am

    i am just so friggin FED UP seriously with this bull, i always had to initiate the text, the call, the messages and everything, don’t they have any conscience at all? Why can’t they just say upfront : “ok it’s all over” and that’s it, i’d immediately walk out that door but here i am with his ever favourite silent treatment. I want some peace of mind. HELPPPPP!!!!!

  2115. #2115 by LeoLady on October 7, 2011 - 11:46 am

    Hello everybody :D, I’m so happy I’ve found this site, it’s very helpful (I’m sorry for my English but it’s not my first language)
    Here is my story:
    I met my taurus 3 weeks ago in a club. I was looking for my friends lost in a crowd and I bumped into this beautiful guy, he looked at me and told me I was beautiful and basically grabbed me and didn’t let me go for the whole night. So we spend the whole night together dancing, drinking and talking and it was great, he was of course touching me and we kissed and kissed again. At the end of the night we decided to go home and he went back to my place and we had sex (I know, I know but I couldnโ€™t help it and it was great). The next day he just stayed at my place till about 5pm, we were chatting and watching tv (his favourite program) as if we new each other for ages and he told quite a lot about himself. Then he left, he texted me as soon as he got home and it made me very happy (I had sex with him so quickly and I know in most cases it means everything is over). Then a day later he texted me again and the nest day he said he wanted to see me (it was Wednesday), I told him I had noting to do that evening if he wanted to come over, if not we could meet during a weekend. He replied that he would come over that night. He came we talked and had sex again, he slept in my place and we both went to work the next day. Then he went a bit quiet but then started texting me again and we met again on Sunday. We spent the whole day together and it was great, he went back to my place, I cooked him dinner and he was very happy and we watched a movie together and slept together again. Then he went quiet on me again and I started going a bit crazy but didnโ€™t show it to him. I texted him a few days later and he replied immediately and told me that he missed me, and then again nothing for a few days. Then on Saturday he called me and told me that he wasnโ€™t around this weekend and we chatted for a while. I was really hoping that he would ask to see me but no, and I didnโ€™t ask him either. Then he went quiet again. I started reading about Taurus men on internet and I have to say I got very scared. I have no patience and Iโ€™m worried this disappearing game will make me crazy, so I was ready to give up on him especially that for the last week I was the one initiating all contact. Then I decided to try one more time and I left him a small message on his facebook, he replied the same night and said โ€˜I love youโ€™ โ€“ Iโ€™m not joking! So the next day (Wednesday) I texted him that I saw his message and I would like to see him on Sunday and that I missed him. He replied that he should be free on Sunday and he missed me too and we left it like this. No contact again. Iโ€™ve decided to talk to him on Sunday and see what he really thinks. Iโ€™m going to tell him in a very nice way that heโ€™s making me properly confused. Maybe itโ€™s a mistake, maybe I should be more patient, start playing his disappearing game but I just canโ€™t, Iโ€™m a very sensitive leo and not the most confident, I know itโ€™s not for me. I have this big plan but he may not even turn up, Iโ€™ve read somewhere that is quite normal for them to make plans and simply not turn up and just disappear. If he does it I will not contact him again.
    Well, I would be very grateful for any comments, any advice on how to handle him.
    Thank you very much :D.

  2116. #2116 by videokafe on December 9, 2011 - 7:56 pm

    The TAURUS Man, sounds cool enough B)

  2117. #2117 by ScorpCienna on December 25, 2011 - 6:59 pm

    I can’t help but laugh reading all these posts as

  2118. #2118 by ScorpCienna on December 25, 2011 - 7:31 pm

    I can’t help but laugh reading through many of these posts as I too am going through very similar situations! This is my second Bull and you would think after the first I would have run the other way! lol Unfortunately for us women, they tend to be everything we look for in a guy. Hey I call it like it is. Here’s my story and any insight would be greatly appreciated as I learn something new everyday about this male sign.

    I’ve met him through an on-line dating site about 6 months ago. First we corresponded via the site, eventually through e-mail and finally through text, rarely via phone. I’m still unsure about this lack of communication via phone but my take so far on this is that they like to keep it impersonal in the beginning until they figure out your the one. Correct me if I’m off. Anyway, in 6 months we’ve seen each other a total of 4 times! Yes I said FOUR times! As you can see that’s part of my frustration but because the key with these Bulls is patience, I’ve had to suck it up!

    Now in the beginning, we would text a million times a day. He told me how much he missed me and was looking forward to building a relationship with me. Music to my ears as I was incredibly attracted to him and I too am looking for the same. He poured his heart out to me (via text of course) after only our second meeting and I melted and did the same back to him. Not in character for a Scorpio but I did. He works long hours as he works in the military so anytime he’d spend texting me was greatly appreciated. However one day out of the blue he stopped texting. I of course texted him after a day or two of now hearing from him but no response until almost a month later. I didn’t question his absence but of course I was super confused. He invites me out again and of course I go. Every time we’ve gone out on a date, it’s been him asking me out last minute and of course, me accepting. If I were to ask him, I get no response.

    Long story short, every moment we’ve shared has been completely magical. I love his affection and his touch. Here’s something that threw me for a loop and maybe someone has some insight. On our 3rd date, I invited him to come in after our date. Just to be clear, I specifically told him I had no intentions of having sex. It was so that we could watch a movie or just talk. If it wouldn’t have been 10 degrees below zero, I would have suggested a walk or something but for obvious reasons that wasn’t the case. Well, he came right out and said that it wasn’t a good idea as he didn’t want this to a one night stand type of thing!!! I almost died as I felt like such a slut! Then I ask him what he wanted from “us” and he goes on to tell me how he knows that he has to relocate (due to the military) to another state in less than a year and he’s not looking to hurt me or himself for that matter which I get completely. However, when I tell him that moving for me wouldn’t be an issue if things were to work out between us he then says that we need to take it slow and date and see where it goes! Maybe I’m over analyzing it but it just seems like everything I said was wrong!

    It’s been almost a week and I haven’t heard from him although I sent him ONE text message, light and airy just saying hi and hope everything is well. I’m now wondering if my last actions really killed the possibility of a future with him or him retreating this way is just par for the course. I hate second guessing myself but he has this way of making me do that! Oh wait and there’s another part to this. After we met the first time, we mutually decided to close our online page in order to focus on each other and see where this goes. I haven’t re-joined mine however I’ve noticed that for the past 2 months that he has. I haven’t questioned him since we barely talk or see each other. Plus I don’t want to come off like some psycho girl either! At this point, I’ve read up on his sign enough to know that slow and steady is the way to go with them but I guess I wonder at what point do I realize that it’s just him using me (minus the sex I guess) or keeping me around as a back up.

    I’ve noticed there are a few Taurus experts on here so any advice would be greatly appreciated.

  2119. #2119 by Lala on October 11, 2012 - 6:56 pm

    YES YES YES… i can relate to lik every commentt! Im a cancer and for 2 years me and my taurus man have been on and off and its the same thing everytime.. at first im not too interested and he pulls me in once im in hes the one showing not alot if interest. i can complain all i want he doesnt wanna hear it! so he promises me the world i believe him and leave it alone but when were apart im ignored for weeks at a time. I was done! over it and over him i started doing the same thing as him ignoring texts and calls cancelling plans and what does he do? He asks me to be his girlfriend!! so im lik ok forget the bs i want u lets be together! and what do i get?? IGNORED!??? im20 my man 21 were young hes not working 24/7 n blsh blah no kids no damn excuses. who wants a bf that doesnt show u the attention u show them. He has the potential of being the first guy i fall in love with. but i cant stand him when hes ignoring me:( these comments really help! i feel lik he definitely wants to compete with other guys for me! if he wants a game ill be a player. golden rule treat others how u wanna be treated! so i guess bitchmode is ON! and def no sex till his priorities are right! LOL

  2120. #2120 by original siteHow to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Again - Have Them Crawling Back to You Promptly! on December 25, 2012 - 11:57 am

    Hi there, just became alert to your blog through Google, and
    found that it is truly informative. I am gonna watch out for
    brussels. I will appreciate if you continue this in future.
    Many people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!

  2121. #2121 by Jilltsm.Fotopages.Com on February 24, 2013 - 10:59 am

    Intra-Personal Intelligence refers to the spiritual, inner states of
    being, self-reflection, and awareness. To offset this risk, there is some degree
    of timing that should be considered in the affiliation with religion or spirituality.

    Reflections of a Native Hawaiian physician: Hawaiian cultural values in western medical practice, Ka’ano’i M E (Pacific Health Dialog, 8(2):375-379,2001) 7.

  2122. #2122 by georgia on March 4, 2013 - 12:26 am

    Sorry, I wish I could help some of you but I need help with my own dilemma. Taurus guy, walks into my life a few months ago. Never even noticed him until he started saying little cryptic things at work. Realized he was talking about me. These are things you say about someone you are attracted to. Road blocks: he’s way younger then me and he’s married. So I basically ignored him. Time goes on, he makes every effort to talk to me, look at me, seek me out. I’m like, what’s up with this guy?

    I still kind of ignore him, I figure he’s worth making friends with, what would it hurt, right? I extend the olive branch…. from then until now not sure what happened. I flirted with him one day by asking him to be my “boy candy” for the day, it was fun and funny. He said, nope, he was married but if he wasn’t he definitely would. HUH? Definitely would what? Since that day, things have moved quite fast.

    He makes special effort to talk to me, .my co-workers are teasing him and me…”there’s your girl” “your guy is looking for you” . It’s a bit embarrassing. Then just recently he started asking me to watch something with him at lunch in our lunch room. One day he came back from getting his lunch and he said, “come on, take a break and let’s watch this movie together.” I’m like, too busy, but my co-worker says go ahead take a break. Since then, every day has asked me. And we do. He stays after work and we’ve had long conversations about his life, past and mine. I see what’ s happening. I’ve had much experience with guys but he’s married and he’s so younnngggg!!!! For something he did for me, I told him I owed him a lunch, and he started naming restaurants…Seriousy, lunch and now, what do I do? He can’t really go to lunch with me…just doesn’t seem right.

    And I’m so dumb. Now I have this huge crush on him!!!! ugh. And my question is, besides the obvious, what are his motives for spending all this time with me? This gorgeous guy, I’m just not getting it. And I don’t want to analyze the hell out of this.

  2123. #2123 by pisceslady on March 25, 2013 - 7:02 pm

    Check this out..I haven’t spoken to my Taurus in months and Friday night, I was at the bar where this all started 2 years ago and one of my friends happen to mention that he was in the bar a few days before. She said he walked in, looked around, went to the restroom and walked out the door. OMG, I wasn’t 15 minutes later, he walked in and instantly made eye contact with me, went to the restroom and was headed back out the door. I went out just in front of him and turned and ask him…What the hell are you doing here? We had a really bad breakup!! He said he had been working. I told him, I can’t do this and you need to stay away from here…There are 7 bars around in the same area! he didn’t have to come in there unless he wanted me to see him. He also said he didn’t know I would be there. I’m friends with everyone there and he knows this..Yeah, They are going to tell me if he comes in, I ask if was wanting to be friends again and he said he couldn’t do that..I don’t know..these men are a little on the strange side. I have heard that they always come back….What do you think his reason for coming in was…Yeah, he could say he didn’t know I was there, but you couldn’t miss my vehicle if you tried! Any advise? I do miss him terribly, but don’t want to get hurt by him again..

  2124. #2124 by http://texting-a-woman.textflirtingtips.net/ on May 22, 2013 - 1:34 am

    A motivating discussion is worth comment. There’s no doubt that that you need to publish more on this subject, it might not be a taboo matter but generally people do not speak about such topics. To the next! Best wishes!!

  2125. #2125 by office space in boise on June 3, 2013 - 7:58 pm

    It’s awesome to visit this web site and reading the views of all friends on the topic of this article, while I am also zealous of getting know-how.

  2126. #2126 by medical procedures to stop snoring on June 3, 2013 - 9:33 pm

    I was curious if you ever thought of changing the page layout of
    your site? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say.
    But maybe you could a little more in the way of content
    so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful
    lot of text for only having one or 2 pictures. Maybe you
    could space it out better?

  2127. #2127 by try ageless male - youtube.com on June 29, 2013 - 7:40 am

    I am seriously amazed with your producing advantages while intelligently as with the dwelling on your weblog. Is any paid topic or maybe did you adjust the idea yourself? Either way keep up great premium quality composing, it truly is uncommon to see an incredible web site exactly like it these days.

  2128. #2128 by Grady Louis Randleman Jr. on November 30, 2013 - 9:48 am

    Well who ever wrote that thing , well some yes an a lot no! But it was fun reading for a bit. I’m born the center of TAURUS! May 1 1951 @ 10:45 AM. WOW!

  2129. #2129 by Lionreader on October 15, 2014 - 6:12 am

    Hello please excuse me not for being native
    I had to leave a comment i had been reading this forum for 6months on and off whenever i need to console myself and to justify this awkwardness of dealings with Taurus man amazed at how insecure type of T is much alike throughout the world I am from Korea and this astrology is a general thing(not that mean this applies to all Taurus male), which kept me reading full from the beginning to the the end.
    After 1 year and a half of dramas, I have made it with him come to an end along with the completion of reading this forum today
    At the begginning, I tried to master all special characteristics with which T gave me trouble so that I could finally get in a relationship with him but Alas! I saw Jane,Jess,Saggi girl,liorsroar, Scoripio lady and Tinker,Diane,Lisa,Lioness,Lion lady ALL!! failed in the end As soon as i witnessed their let-gos I had to love him so hard even with my last nerve enough to put him to the test and forget him without regret.
    This insecure type of Taurus male wants to be wanted, reactional and changes like cameleon if you want him he stays around he wants sex but also wants to meet other girls he doens’t want a relationship with you but you feel he likes you I was also encouraged to wait for his commitment but it all depends on your mind and attitude.
    We are kept strining along because we have feelings for them I do believe ladies who finally managed to let T go they are done with giving one last piece of their love they are drained and don’t have enough patience being treated like this shit. That takes from months to years *to empty my mind*, thanks to the ladies here I speeded up the ending process to one year and a half.
    I remember when I lived in Canada for one year, I was with a cancerian guy(canadian) I was also so in love with him like this with T, Cancerian treated me to a meal and didn’t disappear but the thought of we could not be together anymore made him stop talking to me and he didn’t want a relationship and after years he confesses his feelings for me but i had moved on.
    No matter what sign the guy is, if not for a happy ending (marriage) whether it is because of his age, his financial situation and his broken-heart after break-ups, his taste for freedom, the relationship ends and what you can do last is whether you wait till you are drained out and put him to test even give him freedom of meeting other girls but you don’t regret that you loved him and see what his real intention is and don’t wait but someday be surprised to see if he comes back if he is on the same page with your intention wanting marriage.
    As Lion roars, lion don’t allow others to mess with them up but as I liked him a lot I took all his shits up and tried to understand him in every possible ways also i had happened to realize a few signs that I and T could be possibly meant together after 2months of dates he serves in the military so I met him like once in a 3months with hot and cold rollercoaster keep riding he has had ring of a bell in his cell ‘Somthing about us by daft punk’ I really thought he also saw some signs that we could be meant together.
    I asked him a few times about these things, he seemed he made me not to think that he was in love with me. Whenever i ask him for his verification of his feelings for me he insists we are only sex partners i ate this shit up also because i was encouraged to know that T is notoros for defining the relationship with friends only, fwb and sp etc
    Now he claims that he wants to see other girls I am giving him time to sort out things and clear his mind up because i decided to put an end to this sex partner relationship whatsoever if he doesn’t appreciate me more he will have a new girl and he stops playing his mind headstrong game we remains just friends and i move on!
    For the ladies who has just bumped into this amazing forum, RUN RUN RUN!! from your insecure T as you can possible if you can’t because you have strong feelings for T(Yes, they are too sexy..) you master all characteristics of T from the beggining to possibliy love him to death with all your cells or nerves not mind but with heart! and be drained out to be able to back off and distance yourself and see his real intention
    I loved reading this forum and especially I would like to note what Taurus guy(kyle) wrote in his T perspective please find the all fuss with him and Diane go for look for it with F3. At first I thought Diane was a bit much in insulting this special breed of T but it was in a help to awaken ladies who give so much and strong feelings like her. The relationship with T will be like that and put to an end it is all like with other signs we meet and we separate. I would like to remind one thing from what Taurus guy(kyle)says although I understand T now and him I understand his defense towards Diane but this really pisses me off he says he only had 4 gfs and 6 fwb. See! They will name you fwb after the relationship ends no matther how much heart you gave it takes two to tango they say that but they obviously string you along and lure you and they deny at the end

  2130. #2130 by Fay-Faye on January 30, 2015 - 9:05 pm

    Wow! I’m so glad to have found this site! Very interesting take on the Taurus male and being in relationships/associations with them. Well of course I have a story to share as well!ha 1st off I’ll state my sign: I’m a Scorpio the opposite to Taurus and “they say” that we either do very well together or are awful in a relationship!

    Anyways, my Taurus and I have actually know each other for a long time! I knew him since I was a teenager. He was actually friends with my “older” brother but that didn’t stop us from having crushes on each other. But nothing ever came of it at the time because there was no way in HELL my brother was going to let anything happen between us. And besides they were running the streets back then and wasn’t too good of an influence on me. If you can catch my drift!

    Fast forward, 15+ years I run into him at a few festivals in my community and we decide to exchange numbers. Even though he looks like he hasn’t missed any meals (lol) I still found him cute and attractive! Well I took his number but didn’t give him mine. I said I’ll give him a call and he made me promise that I will call him. He told me not to waste him time.

    After about three days or so I give him a call. It took him a while before he recognized who I was and was yelling in the phone “who is this”!lol I said my name and told him he was mean and don’t be yelling at me!LOL Then he laughed it off and apologized for his behavior.

    After that we talked for a few weeks until he invited me out on a date. Because I refused to go to his house or invite him to mine until he took me out! We went to the movies and ended up ordering take out. Although, it wasn’t in my plans I let him come to my apartment after the movies for food because it was raining bad outside. And it was kinda of different because I knew him and he wasn’t a stranger to me. BUT NOTHING HAPPENED! We finished our food watched a little tv chit chatted and he went home.

    We went out a few more time, and discussed things that were happening in our lives. At 1st he was doing the testing thing then I told him I’m old school and I liked to speak on the phone! Then he switched it up, started calling me and texting on when he can’t talk long. We’ve only been seeing each other for 4 months now. And trust me he’s not perfect either!lol But I’m not having a problem with him contacting me or wanting to be around me. I was actually asking him to let me have some day to myself! I like time to myself sometimes and he can at time take this in the wrong way. He said that now that he has me, why would he want to hang around his friends? But this is probable because he is in his late 40’s! He said he has already been there and done that! He says’ he knows what he want and what he likes when he sees it.

    I told him about some of the stories you girls talk about. And he said it most likely that most are going through what your dealing with because they are young and don’t know what they want yet. or they still want to play the field. He also said if the Taurus man really like someone. That he will be there with her no matter what because he is a jealous and possessive man. He said if he is not around her he with thing of what she is doing and who she is doing things with.

    Sorry for the long ass message, but I have so much to say about this topic!HA I will be back to update you. I have to go now to meet my Taurus we are going “Food Shopping” his FAVORITE past time!HAHAHAH

    Note: Ladies if you want me to ask the advice of my Taurus guy please let me know. I want to help if I can! Until then ladies please keep your head up and know that only YOU can make yourself happy!

    Be Blessed,
    Fay-Fay

  2131. #2131 by AquaLady on September 4, 2016 - 6:54 am

    I met my first taureen man and he is VERY confusing with his actions as everyone has stated. For ex, a few months into texting and then finally going on dates with him, the words he texted were of admiration and long-term planning but, in person, he would let go of my hand in public. This was very off putting to me and I finally just prevented us from getting close enough to hold hands. He said he didn’t want a serious relationship because we both got out of a very long term marriage (both our spouse’s cheated on us) but he talked like he wanted to be everywhere with me. I had to put a brake on him because I feel that great things don’t come that easily. I’m an Aquaruis and I’m very logical, I definitely have my walls up after my heart break, I don’t do friends with benefits and I told him that. I either give 100% or 0%. We’re both in our mid 30s so we’re not kids. Anyway, although I had my own definition of what a relationship should be and what I can and cannot accept which differed from my taureen, I gave him a chance and stuck around as friends with benefits for 10 months now because there’s something very caring and loving about him. We laugh together and he likes my corny jokes most times. We are definitely not on the same page all the time. I don’t mean to sound arrogant, but his mind is a lot slower than mine, he just doesn’t get it sometimes. He’s more wise than book smart but I admire that in him. He’s not good at communicating but great at story telling. He will hold all his feelings in as best as he can unless I ask and he may or may not tell me. In person, he’s more willing. If through text, I get no replies. It’s frustrating when you care and want to be a friend but get nothing in return. My ex sag was completely different, good communicator, but he also loved communicating with girls too much and cheated. I admire this taureens ability to suck it up sometimes when he knows it’s not a big deal. Anyway, although we have strong physical attraction and we are both patient and no drama type people, our communication style is black and white. As an aquarius, I may be aloof at times but I can’t stand when my man doesn’t tell me how he really is feeling. I pay attention to the small details and emotions and just want to listen and empathize. I think my taureen thinks it makes him less manly so he stays silent. We are both straightforward and honest people but I would have to say I’m more honest, straightforward, and transparent….no hiding. I’m not sure about Aquarius men..they are different. My taureen is also more sensitive than the sag. But that also means my taureen is more careful at how he speaks to people which is a plus for me as I don’t like rude men. As our one year “friendship/non exclusive relationship” comes up, I think it’s best I leave my taureen alone and let him figure out what he really wants. I feel unwanted even as a friend sometimes and I know he does it purposely. I’m not into tests and I don’t like my relationships confusing and this taureen confuses the hell out of me. Just as a general rule for me, if a man wants to be with you, he should make it happen and not wait for the woman. My taureen is waaay too passive when it comes to deep emotions and I thought as an Aquarius that I had the emotional problems. I like deep, no nonsense conversations. My taureen likes small talk or stories. Oh and he rarely asks about my life which is a big turn off as well. A part of me wanted us to work out because we had chemistry but my logical mind knows that in the long run, he can’t keep up with me. I still would love to hear any experience you guys have between an aquarius and Taurus.

  2132. #2132 by Lason on November 13, 2018 - 10:45 am

    I’ve read alot of these comments and I see th er y are so true. I met a very cute tarus at work. We have had a mild flirtation for about a month before us and another coworker decided to go out drinking. We had fun and i vaguely recall us sitting and holding hands in the club….he got a little too drunk and passed out. Our driver got I’ll and lost the keys so I had to try and find them. He eventually woke up and we talked about everything until the keys were. Found. A few days later he asked to take me to the aquarium ( since I’m not from town). I agreed. He said hed text. He didnt. The following week he asked again said hed text..he didnt. I never brought it up as to not bug him. Shortly after I found out I’d be leaving. But this was after we had all talked about hanging out if everyone was off work. I told him about my last day ( being before my bday) and he seemed disappointed. My last day at work he left without saying goodbye even though there were gifts from staff as a surprise. I texted him and said it was nice to work with him. No response. I texted him to tell him my last day and invited him out ..no response. Just a little more background. That night out he walked me to my room where he came in the first thing he said was ” I dont have casual sex”. I told I dont either but invited him to stay and talk. He stayed until the sun came up. Before and after us going out he was always looking out for me and talking to me..making sure I didnt need anything. I was just so surprised he just disappeared. No goodbye…happy birthday…nothing.

  1. a taurus man
  2. arden arcade sacramento
  3. monster crocodile captured in the philippines
  4. Werner MT-22
  5. aparat masaj anticelulitic,aparate de masaj,aparat de masaj
  6. amazon deals
  7. easy dating
  8. medyum gizem hoca
  9. Joyeria Online
  10. Highway 125 arina Peel AR Boat Rental and water sports
  11. Buy Costume Online Cheap
  12. harley davidson school
  13. The Internet is new to me, being that I just retired. There are a lot of topics on the Internet and I am reading on many of those and commenting. I think I really appreciate the basics of what you have here in this blog. I am the proud owner of my own web
  14. Buy Homeschool Curriculum Today
  15. Sprada Future
  16. Blow His Mind With Dirty Talk
  17. Download For Free Paid Android Games, Applications, Software, Wallpapers and Themes
  18. tramadol
  19. Best Online Free Videos
  20. mmorpg

Leave a comment